Personality, Success, and Facing failures

Personality
Personality is taken from the Latin word ‘Persona’ which means mask.
“Personality is the psychodynamic organisation within the individual of those psychophysical
systems that determines his/her unique adjustments his/her environment.” - Allport

Personality is the combination of behavior, emotion, motivation, & thoughts that helps to find
the similarities & differences among individuals.

CHARACTERISTICS
1. It is not related to bodily structure alone. It includes both structure & dynamics.

2. It is an indivisible unit.

3. It is not a mysterious phenomenon, neither good nor bad.

4. Every personality is unique that refers to persistent qualities of an individual that are
expressed in consistency & regularity.

5. It is acquired, influenced by social interaction, defined in terms of behavior.

DETERMINANTS

1. Biological factors – Such factors are important in the formation of human

personality. Individual born in the family, inherit traits & features from their parents.
The physical & psychological traits inherited from family becomes a part of
personality. The physique of a person that looks similar with others like two hands,
legs, eyes, five senses, etc. makes him/her feel normal & healthy that helps to increase
confidence, some may develop inferiority due to such factors. In this way it separates
individuals from each other. The other traits like height, weight, complexion
contributes in personality. E.g., - the hormonal secretion of thyroxine that promotes
growth if secreted inadequately may cause dwarfism or giantism. In researches it was
found that highly developed nervous system has highly adjustable personality. Such
individuals develop social traits like responsibility, punctuality, emotional stability,
self-confidence, & ego-strength.

2. Social factors – When a person interact with others then social relationships are
formed. By social influence, a person learns by experience the type of suitable
behavior that forms the personality factors. The home environment has a wide
influence as the parent-child relationship helps to develop the emotions, sympathy,
empathy, love, affection. If rejection is faced by the child, then he/she may become
aggressive, angry, stubborn, etc. From childhood, the experiences gained either
 positive or negative becomes the traits of a person. In school, the teacher-child
relationship, if motivation is given along with positive attitude towards child for
learning and care is taken on overall developments (cognitive, social, moral,
language, skills, etc) then positive traits along with self-esteem develops. The peer
group also influences the personality that can either make a person social human
being or anti-social personality. If in school is bullied then low self -confidence may
become the part of a person. The society also plays crucial role. If a person is brought
up in the society that follows rules, norms, gives proper respect then positive traits
develops otherwise a person may become anti-social.

3. Cultural factors – An individual consciously or unconsciously adopts the traits of the

culture. Such cultural traits determine the behavior & personality and make the person
learn to follow the rules and norms as expected from the society. If a person follows
the rules & norms then a good personality is forms otherwise in non- conformity
abnormal or anti-social personality traits develop.

4. Physical environment – The place where a person lives also influence personality.
The physical environment affects the emotions, feelings, attitudes, ideas, habits,
behavior as well as body structure. Due to urban area such people have different
lifestyle, thinking pattern, etc whereas rural people differ in such part. Physically
urbans are delicate as compared to the rural.

5. Situational factors – Every individual faces many situations in life that may bring
about changes in personality. Same event is perceived in different way by all
individuals. Such different reactions form the traits of an individual that forms
personality.

The theory of personality suggests that there are five broad dimensions used by some
psychologists to describe the human personality and psyche. The five factors have been
defined as openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and
neuroticism, often listed under the acronyms “OCEAN”.

Dimensions of High level Low level

personality
Openness to experience Inventive, curious Cautious, conservative

Conscientiousness Efficient, organized Easy going, careless

Extraversion Outgoing, energetic Solitary, reserved

Agreeableness Friendly, compassionate Competitive, outspoken

Neuroticism Sensitive, nervous Secure, confident

The key benefits of developing personality include the following:
a. Confidence: Personality development gives more confidence to people. When a person
knows that he/she is appropriately attired and groomed, this makes them less anxious while
meeting others. Knowing the right things to say and how to conduct self will increase the
confidence of a person.
b. Credibility: It makes people more credible. People do tend to judge others by their
clothing. This does not mean buying expensive clothes. There are also people who look great
even if their attire is inexpensive. Because of this a person must know what to wear and must
be aware of other aspects of enhancing the physical features.
c. Interaction: It encourages people to interact with others. The people communicate more
openly with people they are comfortable with. If the hygiene and social graces are unrefined,
then expect to have a much harder time connecting with people.
d. Leading and Motivating: Personality development enhances the capacity to lead and
motivate. A person with a winning personality will be able to motivate better. People are less
likely to get bored, and their ideas will have more credibility. A person can lead better if he or
she can project an aura of confidence and credibility.
e. Curiosity: A single wrong word can destroy a business relationship. Knowing the right
things to say shows both respect and intellectual sophistication. This is especially the case if a
person is dealing with foreigners or if conduct business outside the country. The right thing to
do in one country could be horrible blunders in a different culture. These are the soft skills
that may break or make a deal.
f. Communication skills: It improves your communication skills. People are more receptive
to what you say if they are impressed with your personality. Verbal communication skills are
also part of personality development; improving your speech will strengthen the impact of
your message. You cannot win by talent and hard work alone. Personality development is a
crucial ingredient that you must obtain. Most of the people you see as models of great
personality have taken a lot of effort in developing their natural features.

Personality development tips

 Know yourself – flaws, strength, weakness
 Bring positivity – brighter side of things, focus on good
 Have an opinion – influential, well-informed
 Meet new people – opportunity to know more people, exposure
 Read & develop new interests – new topics to discuss, interesting talks, gains
attention
 Be a good listener – listen with attention, interest, give importance, do not get
distracted, maintain eye contact
 Be courteous – humble, greet everyone with smile, help others
 Work on your body language – non verbal communication, postures, eye contact
 Attire – decent, ironed clothes, presentable
 Be yourself – different people different skills, authenticity must remain
  Be confident – never doubt capabilities, motivate self from others
 Have self- esteem – self - confidence, identity, feeling of belonging, feeling of
competence. If esteem is low then doubt in decision making, issues with relationship,
feel unworthy & unlovable.
Personality development improves the awareness & identity, develops the talent &
potential, build human capital, enhance quality of life & contribute to realization of
dreams & aspirations. The improving & transforming of personality is called personality
development.

Success
“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal”
 Progressive means that success is a journey, not a destination. After one goal is
reached, a person will go on to the next and the next and the next.

 Realization is an experience. Outside forces cannot make a person feel

successful. He/ She has to feel it within self. It is an internal not external process.

 Worthy refers to the value system. Which way are a person is heading? Positive
or negative? Worthiness determines the quality of the journey. That is what gives
meaning and fulfilment. Success without fulfilment is empty.

 Goals are important because they give a sense of direction to an individual.

Factors responsible for success

1. Desire - The motivation to success comes from the burning desire to achieve a
purpose. A weak desire cannot produce great results. Desire can be any form-
 Aware of the sacrifices & hardships but focus on success rewards.
 Gain knowledge about the goal
 Observe others who are successful in such field
 To remind self of the dreams

2. Commitment - Integrity and wisdom are the two pillars on which to build and keep
commitments. Prosperity and success are the result of thoughts and decisions. It is a
person’s decision what thoughts will dominate his / her life. Success is the result of
our attitude. There is a big difference between playing to win and playing not to lose.
When we play to win, we play with enthusiasm and commitment; whereas when we
play not to lose, we are playing to avoid failure & we are playing from a position of
weakness. We all want to win, but very few are prepared to pay the price to prepare to
win. Playing to win comes out of inspiration, whereas playing not to lose comes out
 of desperation. There are no ideal circumstances. There will never be. To reach any
goal a person has to face difficulties.

3. Responsibility - A duty which becomes a desire will ultimately become a delight. --

George Gritter.
People with character accept responsibilities. They make decisions and determine their
own destiny in life. Accepting responsibilities involves taking risks and being accountable
which is sometimes uncomfortable. Most people would rather stay in their comfort zone
and live passive lives without accepting responsibilities. They drift through life waiting
for things to happen rather than making them happen. Accepting responsibilities involves
taking calculated, not foolish, risks. It means evaluating all the pros and cons, then taking
the most appropriate decision or action. Responsible people don't think that the world
owes them a living.

4. Hard Work: Success is not something that a person run into by accident. It takes a lot
of preparation and character. Everyone likes to win but how many are willing to put in
the effort and time to prepare to win? It takes sacrifice and self-discipline. There is no
substitute for hard work. Henry Ford said, "The harder you work, the luckier you get."
One cannot develop a capacity to do anything without hard work. Professionals make
things look easy because they have mastered the fundamentals of whatever they do.

5. Character - Character is the sum total of a person's values, beliefs and personality. It
is reflected in the behavior, & in actions. To be a winner takes character. The road to
success has many pitfalls. It takes a lot of character and effort not to fall into them.
The character helps not to be disheartened by critics. Whenever a person starts to get
success in little form or rises above average there will always be someone trying who
will try to pull that person down. In any profession, a successful person will be envied
by those who are not. A person must not get distracted by others from reaching the
goal. Average people play it safe to avoid criticism, which can be easily avoided by
saying, doing or being nothing. It seems there is a relationship between success and
criticism. The greater the success, the more is the criticism. Critics have always been
sitting at the side lines. They are underachievers who shout at doers, telling them how
to do it right. But remember critics are not the leaders or doers and it is worthwhile
asking them to come down to where the action is. “The critic is one who knows the
price of everything and the value of nothing.”

6. Positive Believing - Having a positive attitude and being motivated is a choice a

person should every morning. Living a positive life is not easy; but then neither is
negative living. Positive thinking is better than negative thinking and it helps to use
the abilities to the fullest. Positive believing is a lot more than positive thinking. It is
having a reason to believe that positive thinking will work. Positive believing is an
attitude of confidence that comes with preparation. Having a positive attitude without
making the effort is nothing more than having a wishful dream.
 7. Give More Than You Get - It is easy to succeed today. If a person wants to get
ahead in life, go the extra mile. There is no competition on the extra mile. Most
people don't want to do what they get paid for and there is a second category of
people who only want to do what they can get by with. They fulfil their quota just to
keep their jobs. There is a small fraction who are willing to do a little bit more than
what they get paid for. Why do they do more? If a person falls into the last category,
then where is the competition? The advantages of doing more than a person paid for
are:  It makes a person more valuable, regardless of what he/ she do and where they
work.  It gives a person more confidence.  People start looking him/her as a leader.
 Others start trusting that person  Superiors start respecting such people  It breeds
loyalty from both their subordinates & superiors.  It generates cooperation.

8. The Power of Persistence - The journey to being the best is not easy. It is full of
setbacks. Winners have the ability to overcome and bounce back with even greater
resolve. Persistence means commitment and determination. There is pleasure in
endurance. Commitment and persistence are a decision. Persistence is a decision. It is
a commitment to finish what is being started. When a person is exhausted, quitting
looks good. But winners endure.

Hurdles in achieving success

1. Lack of Information: Information can have one of two effects. With too much an
individual can be overwhelmed, and can stop from making a decision or taking the
next steps. With too little information a person is not able to put things into
perspective, or look at the bigger picture. Identifying where there are gaps in
knowledge, and including this as part of their goal will move them closer to achieving
it. There are several ways to obtain new information. Research, planned reading,
listening to CD’s, DVD on a specific topic or networking with individuals who have
the knowledge to share with a person.

2. Lack of Skill: In order to move forward an individual may have to pick up skills
along the way. This need not be an enormous challenge. As part of the goal setting,
understanding what skills a person needs to acquire, and how he/ she will acquire
them will form steps of their plan. This does not necessarily mean that a person needs
to enrol on a course, although that is a great idea. Other alternatives such as on-line
study, planned reading, shadowing a colleague in the workplace, or seeking advice
from a friend can also help to obtain the skills a person need.

3. Limiting beliefs: All have a set of beliefs by which they live their lives. These are set
in the subconscious at an early age. Sometimes these beliefs can hold a person back
and limit their ability to achieve the goals. This often results in doing nothing. The
limiting belief manifests itself as “I am not able to make decisions”. Unable to make
progress or stuck – when a way of working is no longer effective, a person continues
to use it and often forms a comfort zone, the limiting belief here could be “I can’t/
won’t change”. Often people will state that “I don’t deserve to be successful”, or “that
 shouldn’t work for me”. Here self -sabotage and not valuing themselves and their own
ability can be seen.

4. Well- being: Despite the best efforts, there may be times when a person is simply not
able to pursue the goals. A sudden illness or injury can put set back. When it happens,
a person needs to be realistic. Beating self-up will not help, nor simply giving up.
Take a little time to re assess goal and consider what options are available. How The
importance to achieve the goal within the original time frame and to consider the
ways to pursue the goal, and who can help during these times.

5. Other People: Quite often the people that are closest sometimes fears the person in
achieving goals. They may not be aware how important goals are to the person. If
person shares the goals, plans with members he/ she is close to then there is a chance
that a person may be influenced by this that can either be positive or mostly negative.
If these people are averse to change then they may sabotage the plans.

6. Own Motivation: Although a person may see out with the best intentions, after a
while the novelty may wear off or there are other distractions. Perhaps the goals set
were too large, and needed to be broken down into smaller manageable chunks.
Perhaps not getting the results, and need to consider what a person is doing that is
preventing from moving forward. After continued effort person may feel that the goal
is now actually something that they are trying but not getting because of the lack of
efforts. In this case the goal needs to be reassessed. If it requires modification because
circumstances have changed, then change it. If it no longer serves a person, then
he/she must not waste energy following up on something just because they started it.

7. Time: People do not manage their time properly to get the best results. Many
complain for not having enough time to work properly or efficiently. Without priority
a person will move from one thing to the next urgent thing. There is also the aspect of
distractions. This can be distraction from others who do not have the same aspirations
as them. There is the distraction of telephone calls and emails. Quite often person gets
busy with those things that gives pleasure, but do not take a person any further
forward to achieving their goals.

8. Money: Money is a common reason for many in not pursuing their goal. Usually, it is
the lack of money that stops them. Instead of saying or thinking about the financial
crises it is better to think about the alternatives through which such need can be
fulfilled. If a person is really serious about achieving the goal, then different means
should be searched for.

9. Fear: If person needs to do something that takes a person right outside of their
comfort zone for the first time, which may well install fear in them. Then there is the
fear of failure. What others would think if a person doesn’t achieve the goal. How will
a person face them and maintain their integrity? Another type of fear is the fear of
success. Self- doubt comes into play and person try to talk self out of it.
 FAILURE
Failure can be defined as the state or condition of not achieving a desirable or intended
objective; it can be considered the opposite of success. Failure is just a state of mind. You
are a failure only if you think that you failed. Your attitude towards a certain situation
determines whether or not you have failed. The fact is that everyone fails in something or
the other at some point in their lives.
It is easy to think negatively when it seems that everything that you do is not good
enough.
Disappointments, Rejections, Unsuccessful attempts were not failures to the successful
people. They used them as stepping stones to success. This is the difference between
people who win and people who don’t. Failure is not the lack of success. People are
looking only the successes of others. They are not seeing the struggles, frustrations and
disappointments they faced.
Successful people don’t blame others for what has happened to them and they don’t use
other people’s definitions for success and failure. They use their own. They just change
paths, re- assess goals, try something new or adjust direction. To them, failure happens
when they stop trying to achieve their personal best.
Causes
1. Lack of Persistence: More people fail not because they lack knowledge or talent but
because they just quit. It’s important to remember two words: persistence and
resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought not to be done. Try new
approaches. Persistence is important, but repeating the same actions over and over
again, hoping that this time you'll succeed, probably won’t get you any closer to your
objective. Look at your previous unsuccessful efforts and decide what to change.
Keep making adjustments and midcourse corrections, using your experience as a
guide.

2. Lack of Conviction: People who lack conviction take the middle of the road. People
without conviction go along to get along because they lack confidence and courage.
They conform in order to get accepted, even when they know that what they are doing
is wrong. Decide what is important to you. If something is worth doing, it’s worth
doing right and doing well. Let the passion be shown even in mundane tasks. It’s OK
to collaborate and cooperate for success, but it’s not OK to compromise your values—
ever.

3. Rationalization: Winners might analyze, but they never rationalize. Losers

rationalize and have a book full of excuses to tell why they couldn’t succeed. Change
self -perspective. Don’t think of every unsuccessful attempt as a failure. Few people
succeed at everything the first time. Most of them attain their goals only through
repeated effort. A person must give best to learn everything they can about what
happened and why.
4. Dismissal of Past Mistakes: Some people live and learn, and some only live. Failure
is a teacher if we have the right attitude. Wise people learn from their mistakes—
experience is the name they give to slipups. Define the problem better. Analyze the
situation—what you want to achieve, what your strategy is, why it didn’t work. Are
you really viewing the problem correctly? If you need money, you have more options
than increasing revenue. You could also cut expenses. Think about what you’re really
trying to do.

5. Lack of Discipline: Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never
done it without discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice and avoiding
distractions and temptations. It means staying focused. Don’t be a perfectionist. A
person might have an idealized vision of what success will look and feel like.
Although that can be motivational, it might not be realistic. Succeeding at one goal
won’t eliminate all the problems. Be clear on what will satisfy the objectives and
don’t obsess about superficial details.

6. Poor Self-Esteem: Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. People

with low self-confidence are constantly trying to find themselves rather than creating
the person they want to be. Don’t label self. A person might have failed, but is not a
failure until stop trying. Think of self as someone still striving toward a goal, and
you’ll be better able to maintain your patience and perseverance for the long haul.

7. Fatalistic Attitude: A fatalistic attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility

for their position in life. They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign
themselves to their fate, regardless of their efforts, that whatever has to happen will
happen anyway. Look in the mirror every day and say, I am in charge. You might not
have control over every phase of your life, but you have more control than you
realize, and you are responsible for your own happiness and success. Your attitude
determines your altitude, and you can turn “down” into “up”.