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Coping with Depression

Tips for Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time

Español (/es/articulos/depresion/haciendole-frente-a-la-depresion.htm)

Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to take the steps that
will help you to feel better. But while overcoming depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s far
from impossible. You can’t just will yourself to “snap out of it,” but you do have more
control than you realize—even if your depression is severe and stubbornly persistent. The
key is to start small and build from there. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there
by making positive choices for yourself each day.

How do you deal with depression?

Dealing with depression requires action, but taking action when you’re depressed can be
hard. Sometimes, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like exercising
or spending time with friends, can seem exhausting or impossible to put into action.

It’s the Catch-22 of depression recovery: The things that help the most are the things that
are the most difficult to do. There is a big difference, however, between something that's
difficult and something that's impossible. You may not have much energy, but by drawing
on all your reserves, you should have enough to take a walk around the block or pick up
the phone to call a loved one.
Taking the first step is always the hardest. But going for a walk or getting up and dancing
to your favorite music, for example, is something you can do right now. And it can
substantially boost your mood and energy for several hours—long enough to put a second
recovery step into action, such as preparing a mood-boosting meal or arranging to meet
an old friend. By taking the following small but positive steps day by day, you’ll soon soon
lift the heavy fog of depression and find yourself feeling happier, healthier, and more
hopeful again.

Coping with depression tip 1: Reach out and stay connected

Getting support plays an essential role in overcoming depression. On your own, it can be
difficult to maintain a healthy perspective and sustain the effort required to beat
depression. At the same time, the very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out
for help. When you’re depressed, the tendency is to withdraw and isolate so that
connecting to even close family members and friends can be tough.

You may feel too exhausted to talk, ashamed at your situation, or guilty for neglecting
certain relationships. But this is just the depression talking. Staying connected to other
people and taking part in social activities will make a world of difference in your mood and
outlook. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness and it won’t mean you’re a burden to
others. Your loved ones care about you and want to help. And if you don’t feel that you
have anyone to turn to, it’s never too late to build new friendships (/articles/relationships-
communication/making-good-friends.htm) and improve your support network.

How to reach out for depression support

Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. The person you
talk to doesn’t have to be able to fix you; they just need to be a good listener—someone
who’ll listen attentively and compassionately without being distracted or judging you.

Make face-time a priority. Phone calls, social media, and texting are great ways to stay
in touch, but they don’t replace good old-fashioned in-person quality time. The simple act
of talking to someone face to face about how you feel can play a big role in relieving
depression and keeping it away.

Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it. Often when you’re
depressed, it feels more comfortable to retreat into your shell, but being around other
people will make you feel less depressed.
Find ways to support others. It’s nice to receive support, but research shows you get an
even bigger mood boost from providing support yourself. So find ways—both big and
small—to help others: volunteer (/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-
benefits.htm), be a listening ear for a friend, do something nice for somebody.

Care for a pet. While nothing can replace the human connection, pets can bring joy and
companionship into your life (/articles/mental-health/mood-boosting-power-of-dogs.htm)
and help you feel less isolated. Caring for a pet can also get you outside of yourself and
give you a sense of being needed—both powerful antidotes to depression.

Join a support group for depression. Being with others dealing with depression can go
a long way in reducing your sense of isolation. You can also encourage each other, give
and receive advice on how to cope, and share your experiences.

10 tips for staying connected

1. Talk to one person about your feelings

2. Help someone else by volunteering
3. Have lunch or coffee with a friend
4. Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly
5. Accompany someone to the movies, a concert, or a small get-together
6. Call or email an old friend
7. Go for a walk with a workout buddy
8. Schedule a weekly dinner date
9. Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club
10. Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

Tip 2: Do things that make you feel good

In order to overcome depression, you have to do things that relax and energize you. This
includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning how to better manage stress, setting limits
on what you’re able to do, and scheduling fun activities into your day.

Do things you enjoy (or used to)

While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can push yourself
to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better
you feel once you’re out in the world. Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately,
you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.
Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through
music, art, or writing. Go out with friends. Take a day trip to a museum, the mountains, or
the ballpark.

Support your health

Aim for eight hours of sleep. Depression typically involves sleep problems; whether
you’re sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers. Get on a better sleep schedule by
learning healthy sleep habits. (/articles/sleep/getting-better-sleep.htm)

Keep stress in check. Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, but it can
also trigger it. Figure out all the things in your life that stress you out, such as work
overload, money problems, or unsupportive relationships, and find ways to relieve the
pressure and regain control (/articles/stress/stress-management.htm).

Practice relaxation techniques. A daily relaxation practice (/articles/stress/relaxation-

techniques-for-stress-relief.htm) can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress,
and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle
relaxation, or meditation.

Develop a "wellness toolbox" to deal with depression

Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. The more “tools”
for coping with depression, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each
day, even if you’re feeling good.

1. Spend some time in nature

2. List what you like about yourself
3. Read a good book
4. Watch a funny movie or TV show
5. Take a long, hot bath
6. Take care of a few small tasks
7. Play with a pet
8. Talk to friends or family face-to-face
9. Listen to music
10. Do something spontaneous
Tip 3: Get moving
When you’re depressed, just getting out of bed can seem like a daunting task, let alone
working out! But exercise is a powerful depression fighter—and one of the most important
tools in your recovery arsenal. Research shows that regular exercise can be as effective
as medication for relieving depression symptoms. It also helps prevent relapse once
you’re well.

To get the most benefit, aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. This doesn’t have
to be all at once—and it’s okay to start small. A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for
two hours.

Exercise is something you can do right now to boost your mood

Your fatigue will improve if you stick with it. Starting to exercise can be difficult when
you’re depressed and feeling exhausted. But research shows that your energy levels will
improve if you keep with it. Exercise will help you to feel energized and less fatigued, not
more.

Find exercises that are continuous and rhythmic. The most benefits for depression
come from rhythmic exercise—such as walking, weight training, swimming, martial arts, or
dancing—where you move both your arms and legs.

Add a mindfulness element, especially if your depression is rooted in unresolved trauma

or fed by obsessive, negative thoughts. Focus on how your body feels as you move—such
as the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, or the feeling of the wind on your skin, or
the rhythm of your breathing.

(/articles/healthy-living/how-to-start-exercising-and-stick-to-it.htm)
How to Start Exercising and Stick to It: (/articles/healthy-living/how-to-start-
exercising-and-stick-to-it.htm) Making Exercise Enjoyable
Pair up with an exercise partner. Not only does working out with others enable you to
spend time socializing, it can also help to keep you motivated. Try joining a running club,
taking a water aerobics or dance class, seeking out tennis partners, or enrolling in a
soccer or volleyball league.

Take a dog for a walk. If don’t own a dog, you can volunteer to walk homeless dogs for
an animal shelter or rescue group. You’ll not only be helping yourself but also be helping
to socialize and exercise the dogs, making them more adoptable.

Tip 4: Eat a healthy, depression-fighting diet

What you eat has a direct impact on the way you feel. Reduce your intake of foods that
can adversely affect your brain and mood, such as caffeine, alcohol, trans fats, and foods
with high levels of chemical preservatives or hormones (such as certain meats).

Don’t skip meals. Going too long between meals can make you feel irritable and tired, so
aim to eat something at least every three to four hours.

Minimize sugar and refined carbs. You may crave sugary snacks, baked goods, or
comfort foods such as pasta or French fries, but these “feel-good” foods quickly lead to a
crash in mood and energy (/articles/healthy-eating/choosing-healthy-carbs.htm). Aim to cut
out as much of these foods as possible.

Boost your B vitamins. Deficiencies in B vitamins such as folic acid and B-12 can trigger
depression. To get more, take a B-complex vitamin supplement or eat more citrus fruit,
leafy greens, beans, chicken, and eggs.

Boost your mood with foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids
(/articles/healthy-eating/choosing-healthy-fats.htm) play an essential role in stabilizing
mood. The best sources are fatty fish such as salmon, herring, mackerel, anchovies,
sardines, tuna, and some cold-water fish oil supplements.

Tip 5: Get a daily dose of sunlight

Sunlight can help boost serotonin levels and improve your mood. Whenever possible, get
outside during daylight hours and expose yourself to the sun for at least 15 minutes a day.
Remove sunglasses (but never stare directly at the sun) and use sunscreen as needed.

Take a walk on your lunch break, have your coffee outside, enjoy an al fresco meal,
or spend time gardening.

Double up on the benefits of sunlight by exercising outside. Try hiking, walking in a

local park, or playing golf or tennis with a friend.
 Increase the amount of natural light in your home and workplace by opening blinds
and drapes and sitting near windows.

If you live somewhere with little winter sunshine, try using a light therapy box.

Dealing with the winter blues

For some people, the reduced daylight hours of winter lead to a form of depression known
as seasonal affective disorder (SAD) (/articles/depression/seasonal-affective-disorder-
sad.htm). SAD can make you feel like a completely different person to who you are in the
summer: hopeless, sad, tense, or stressed, with no interest in friends or activities you
normally love. No matter how hopeless you feel, though, there are plenty of things you can
do to keep your mood stable throughout the year.

Tip 6: Challenge negative thinking

Do you feel like you’re powerless or weak? That bad things happen and there’s not much
you can do about it? That your situation is hopeless? Depression puts a negative spin on
everything, including the way you see yourself and your expectations for the future.

When these types of thoughts overwhelm you, it’s important to remember that this is a
symptom of your depression and these irrational, pessimistic attitudes—known as
cognitive distortions—aren’t realistic. When you really examine them they don’t hold up.
But even so, they can be tough to give up. You can’t break out of this pessimistic mind
frame by telling yourself to “just think positive.” Often, it’s part of a lifelong pattern of
thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. Rather, the
trick is to identify the type of negative thoughts that are fueling your depression, and
replace them with a more balanced way of thinking.

Negative, unrealistic ways of thinking that fuel depression

All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle

ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)

Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold

true forever (“I can’t do anything right.”)

The mental filter – Ignoring positive events and focusing on the negative. Noticing the
one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count
(“She said she had a good time on our date, but I think she was just being nice.”)
Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You
act like a mind reader (“He must think I’m pathetic”) or a fortune teller (“I’ll be stuck in this
dead-end job forever.”)

Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel like such a
loser. I really am no good!”)

‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ – Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and
shouldn’t do, and beating yourself up if you don’t live up to your rules.

Labeling – Classifying yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a

failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

Put your thoughts on the witness stand

Once you identify the destructive thoughts patterns that contribute to your depression, you
can start to challenge them with questions such as:

“What’s the evidence that this thought is true? Not true?”

“What would I tell a friend who had this thought?”

“Is there another way of looking at the situation or an alternate explanation?”

“How might I look at this situation if I didn’t have depression?”

As you cross-examine your negative thoughts, you may be surprised at how quickly they
crumble. In the process, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective and help to relieve
your depression.

When to get professional help for depression

(/articles/depression/depression-treatment.htm)
 Depression Treatment: (/articles/depression/depression-treatment.htm) Therapy,
Medication, and Lifestyle Changes

If you’ve taken self-help steps and made positive lifestyle changes and still find your
depression getting worse, seek professional help. Needing additional help doesn’t mean
you’re weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you’re
a lost cause, but depression can be treated (/articles/depression/depression-
treatment.htm) and you can feel better!

Don’t forget about these self-help tips, though. Even if you’re receiving professional help,
these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing
depression from returning.

Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal,

Ph.D. Last updated: September 2018.

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