FAMILY IS FOREVER:

A Workbook for Families

Navigating Divorce
Written by Elizabeth A. Hohauser, JD.; Stephany Trujillo, LMSW; and Lauren Flynn
With illustrations by Lauren Flynn

Elizabeth A. Hohauser, PLLC. - 363 West Big Beaver Rd #250, Troy, MI 48084 - 248.520.2054 1
2
INTRODUCTION
(FOR PARENTS)

Hi! I’m Liz and I am a lawyer.

Hi! I’m Stephany and I

am a family therapist.

1
 [PARENTS ONLY]

Chances are that you are reading this book because

you have children and you are either in the process of
getting divorced, or you are contemplating divorce,
and you want help explaining it all to your kids.

Although you need to understand the legality of the

process, your children do NOT. This book is not going
to define legal terms. This book is not going to give
you forms for a “do it yourself” divorce. This book is not
going to explain the legal process for you or your children.

This book is going to help you get in the right

emotional head space for a divorce. That means you
will cause less trauma to your kids during the process.

And it means you will save money on lawyers, psychologists

and mediators. Divorce feels complicated, but it really is
simple: Divorce is the legal ending of a marriage. That’s all
your kids need to know about the legal process, they
don’t care about the legal stuff anyway. They care
about where they will live, who they will spend holidays
with, if they will have their favorite toys at both houses
and if you both still love them.

Although the concept of divorce is simple, the feelings are

very complicated. This work book has a bunch of different
activities to help you and your kids work through those
feelings. Don’t expect to do it all at once or even to do all
the activities. Pick and choose what activities are right
for you and your kids. Just be ready – the activities are
not “fun” or “silly.” Many of them are sad. Work on the
activities for parents alone. When you do the activities
with your kids, be ready for hard questions and tears.
Let your kids talk. Let them feel.

2 INTRODUCTION FOR PARENTS

ACTIVITIES FOR PARENTS

3
 [PARENTS ONLY]

Divorce sucks because you are worried. List

5 things you worry about. You can color the
pictures while you think.

For example, when I got divorced, I was

worried my kids would hate me. I was also
worried – more like terrified – about money.

MY WORRIES:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

4 ACTIVITIES FOR PARENTS

 [PARENTS ONLY]

Your kids are worried too. One of the things kids worry about is that
the divorce is their fault. This sounds silly to us because we KNOW it
is NEVER their fault, but think about it this way:

Your kid is half your spouse.

You and your spouse are getting divorced. Maybe you fight a lot.
Maybe you sleep in separate rooms. Maybe you just say angry stuff
about your spouse when you think your kid can’t hear. Kids may
not know everything but they are not dumb. They know something
is wrong. Chances are they have HEARD some things you wish they
hadn’t.

ACTIVITIES FOR PARENTS 5

 [PARENTS ONLY]

Even the best parents have been known to

make a mean joke over a glass of wine when
they thought the kids were asleep.

I get it, your ex hurt you,

but don’t pull your kids
into the hurt.

When you say something even slightly rude

about your ex, your kid hears it as being
about THEM. This makes your kid scared that
you dislike them too. It also makes your kid
feel that they need to stick up for their other
parent. In other words, your kid starts to feel like you are divorcing
THEM. Think about some things you SHOULD do or say that will help
your child, then think of things you should avoid saying or doing that
would hurt your child.

DOs DON’Ts

- “We both love you very much” - Communicating to your ex through

them
- “You are not the reason for the
divorce” - Blaming them for the divorce

- -

- -

- -

- -

- -

- -

6 ACTIVITIES FOR PARENTS

 [PARENTS ONLY]

Put yourself in your kid’s shoes. Imagine how

they feel and think about what you can do to
make them feel better. Fill the left shoe with
words or pictures of how you think they feel,
and fill in the right shoe with words or pictures
of how you want them to feel.

ACTIVITIES FOR PARENTS 7

 [PARENTS ONLY]

OK, so now you know why saying mean things about your ex is
bad for your kids, so what do you do about it?

Write 5 things you

love/loved about
your ex

1.

2.

3.
Now write 5 good
4. things about your
kid(s) that reminds
5.
you of your ex

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Focus on all of these positive things about

your ex and kid. Tell your kid about them.

8 ACTIVITIES FOR PARENTS

FAMILY ACTIVITIES
(FOR KIDS & PARENTS)

9
Divorce is hard. But it is not terrible. Your
parents still love you and some things will
even get better!

Do you have any wishes for your family?

Write your top 3 wishes in the bubbles below.

10 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
Color in activities you might like to do with
each of your parents.

FAMILY ACTIVITIES 11
 Dividing up your time between parents can
sound stressful, but it doesn’t have to be!

Make a list of 5 things you like to do with each

of your parents, then pick a day and time that
you can go do it! Make it a mother/son date
or a father/daughter date, for example.

t i e s w i th M o m
Activi
1.

2.

3. Activities with Dad

1.
4.
2.
5.
3.

4.

5.

12 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
Draw a picture of a terrible day in the storm
cloud below, then write the story of that day
and make it have a happy ending.

FAMILY ACTIVITIES 13
 Do you have a pet? Are you worried about
what will happen to that pet when your parents
get divorced?

Color in the animals below while

you and your parents talk about
the plans for your family’s pet.

14 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
There are a lot of feelings associated with
divorce. Circle the feelings words as you find
them in the word search below.

ANXIOUS ANGRY EXCITED

JOYFUL QUIET CONFUSED

SCARED CALM HAPPY

SAD SICK UPSET

Do you ever have any of these feelings? Why?

FAMILY ACTIVITIES 15
 It’s okay to have lots of different feelings about
your changing family!

Color in these faces and talk to

your parents about why someone
might feel these emotions. Think
of examples, what would make
you feel that way?

HAPPY HOPEFUL CONFUSED LOVED BRAVE

STRESSED EMBARASSED CURIOUS DEVASTATED TIRED

WORRIED LONELY ANGRY SHOCKED SILLY

SAD DISAPPOINTED CALM GRUMPY OVERWHELMED

16 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
Color in these pictures while you talk with your
parents about how your holiday plans might
be changing. Come up with some new holiday
traditions to get excited about.

FAMILY ACTIVITIES 17
You love BOTH your mom and dad. They both
love you. Divorce won’t change that. BUT some
things might happen that make you feel mad
or sad. Color in the pictures on the following
pages and talk with your parents about what
the kids in the pictures might be feeling.

18 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
Notice that there are good AND bad ways to
handle different situations. Think about the
ways you can make the best of the situations
you might be in with your family.

FAMILY ACTIVITIES 19
20 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
FAMILY ACTIVITIES 21
22 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
FAMILY ACTIVITIES 23
24 FAMILY ACTIVITIES
FAMILY ACTIVITIES 25
 MEET THE CREATORS!
Hi! My name is Liz and I am a family law attorney. I
am also divorced, so I have seen the process from
a few different perspectives. No matter what your
role in a divorce, if you focus on the kids involved
then the whole process will be faster, cheaper, and
less traumatic for everyone involved. I hope this
book helps your family!

Hola! My name is Stephany, and I’m a clinical

social worker who has worked with children and
families. Some of the people I’ve worked with
have gone through a divorce, and I’ve been
able to provide therapy to the children to help
them cope with their feelings. This has been a
fun journey teaming up with Liz and Lauren to
create this workbook. We hope you enjoy it as
much as we enjoyed collaborating on it!

Hello! My name is Lauren Flynn, I’m an

art director and illustrator in Detroit, MI.
As someone whose parents got divorced,
I’m passionate about helping others get
through this. I’m thrilled that I was able to
team up with Liz and Stephany to help bring
this book to life for anyone who needs it!

26 Elizabeth A. Hohauser, PLLC. - 363 West Big Beaver Rd #250, Troy, MI 48084 - 248.520.2054