TRANSLATED BY: devon#9704

IN PROCESS OF TRANSLATION…
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1. PASSION IN THE SPHERE OF INSTINCT: HOW VANITY ACTS IN THE SOCIAL.

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⠀⠀⠀When the passion of vanity affects the social instinct, it takes the form of a continuous and
insatiable need to receive confirmation of one’s worth, to be “somebody” in the eyes of all.

⠀⠀⠀As a representative of this enneatype, the Social E3 is driven by a passion to offer an image
of oneself that makes one feel “Vain”, an image that can compensate for one’s low self-esteem,
that experience of being someone unattractive in oneself, which can only be seen by one’s
results. E3 Social vanity is closely linked to the family expectation that he would be an active,
efficient and, above all, successful person.

⠀⠀⠀In E3 Social, the vain egoic passion is not so much aimed at ensuring survival, or
guaranteeing it for his family, as in the case of E3 Conservation. Nor to the security of having a
partner who delights in him, who can guarantee him the experience of being loved. Instead, he
puts his energy into satisfying the demand to be an “important” person. If he achieves social
recognition, his fulfillment and existence are assured.

⠀⠀⠀Primary relationships, especially with the father and perhaps with siblings, have not fulfilled
in childhood the function of introducing the child to the social world with the security he needs to
feel that he can enter the world with his resources, his talents, and his limits. The child has not
had the experience of being deeply reflected in his value as a person, but only because of his
successful results. The social instinct loses its nature of trust in an interpersonal bond that
allows the deep experience of belonging and the recognition of being part of the context. The
Social E3 compensates for this lack and the consequent feelings of worthlessness and
powerlessness by creating an accepted, popular, functional self-image to the group, be it family
or social. He transforms himself according to the needs of the group, believing that this imitative
transmutation will transform him and recognize him as a member...

⠀⠀⠀The authentic need to be supported and recognized, first in the family and then relationally
in a broader sense, turns into a need to have money or to be admired as a special person, in
the illusion that success is only possible capable of giving him back the place he never felt as
his own: a security of belonging that guarantees his existence as a person.

⠀⠀⠀Specifically, he settles into a compulsive passion for bonding and networking, as if the
number of acquaintances, especially important people, could compensate for the lack of that
emotional and affective depth that any interpersonal bond of love and esteem implies. Vanity as
a basic passion motivation manifests itself in the social subtype as the need to sell and display a
high-profile public image (social vanity), imagining that a social status can replace an existential
experience that is lacking.

⠀⠀⠀Social E3 actively seeks achievement, money, and success, which are aimed at gaining and
consolidating status. Consciousness is stuck in the external, in the form. The image is what will
give identity: “I’m what others see”.

⠀⠀⠀By identifying with the external object that is linked to the social value of prestige, of
brilliance, the Social E3 identifies with different roles, wearing different masks, but in this way
remains in a void, with no connection to the internal. The person cannot touch his roots, reach
the depths of his being, or rest, because he does not trust his feelings and perceptions.

⠀⠀⠀The image is sculpted through actions that aim to perfect it. Each context requires a
different presence, and the Social E3 adapts to what is appropriate in each situation. This is why
it is considered the most “chameleon-like” of the three subtypes. This strategy supposes a break
with spontaneity. Control replaces trust, and the E3 Social becomes rigid and frozen.

⠀⠀⠀Despite all his efforts to “make it”, he finds it difficult to feel recognized. In his struggle to be
looked at and taken into account, he takes great care of his appearance and the pursuit of
brilliance, avoiding conflicting and painful situations. When he receives any external evaluation,
it is not fully believed, because there is no identity to support it, living on recognition for what he
has done and not for what he is. This prevents the consummation of real contact with the world.

⠀⠀⠀The gaze of others is always present, even if it is an internally fantasized gaze. Social E3,
when looking in the mirror, sees himself through the eyes of his potential “audience”. At work,
you imagine the evaluation of your boss or an abstract judge. In your tastes, although you may
fight for your own, you are still aware of what your partner’s, your friend’s... the other’s are, and
feel the urge to give up yours.

⠀⠀⠀This subtype has a marked mercantilist orientation. It gets its value from the confirmation
that others give it when they recognize its attributes. The important thing is to achieve the goals:
social relationships have value to the extent that his achievements allow, and there is no real
interest in others, but sociability is in maintaining a network that serves them, with no limits to
the strategies for selling his product. The social context is a buyer’s market, where he is capable
of being a great car salesman or spiritual workshop. He is the classic politician who knows how
to show the right face to get votes. It is never really publicized, something you may be aware of:

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 has a basic existential falsehood; he imagines he is good without being so,
identifies with his ideal, but is somewhat aware that he is not as perfect as he would like. He
knows that he is showing something that he is not. He lives as if it were not his. For example,
me, with my new house: “I see it more on my own when I show it to others, but when I’m alone I
don’t feel this way. Here is the emptiness”.
⠀⠀⠀The desire for recognition is incessant and often takes the form of narcissistic material
possessions: watches, houses, cars, etc. It’s like saying to the world over and over again “Look
at what I’m wearing: that’s what I’m worth”. Modern ways of showing their high status are the
collection of belongings for select groups, books dedicated by illustrious personalities,
participation in workshops given by so-and-so and Mengano, etc. He is a character who
perfectly represents the historical and social moment where the current promise of happiness is
to have money and power, and as something that is achieved simply by acts of will. Today's
Culture tries to convey that happiness is in purchasing power, in the “famous” economic and
business development. The human being in his or her intimate needs is not considered part of
the equation, nor part of nature, and consciousness is limited to individual benefit. This
blindness is maintained through superficial stimuli and false needs. The Social E3 are the most
adept and obtuse customers of shopping centers, with their compulsive shopping, or the
politicians most adjusted to this age of nihilism.

⠀⠀⠀He is a narcissistic character, like E7, and from this position it is very easy for him to believe
that he has the greatest right, as described in DSM IV: “The narcissist feels so important that he
can speak with the highest authority”.

⠀⠀⠀E3 Social, when he refers to authority, he does so from a prior assessment of who the
authority itself is. If he considers it to be a lesser god within his scale of values, he disqualifies it
and may not pay the slightest attention to it. It is also very easy for him to rebel against her or
“cut her head off”, as they say in therapeutic jargon, by seeking out her faults and making them
public in strategic places.

⠀⠀⠀He is intelligent enough, however, to know how to relate to various kinds of hierarchies and
constantly seeks recognition from authority, placing himself in strategic places to be seen and
valued. His dreaded scene is the failure to be recognized “from above”. When this happens, he
feels very bad, although he hides it as best he can to preserve his image; I would like to
disappear before facing such failure. As Yolanda says: “My feelings of failure are channeled with
an automatic, hearty laugh that comes out of me without being able to help it. It is a hysterical
laugh”. This is the easiest trait for the fake smile, so common in Enneatype Three in general.

⠀⠀⠀Social trait E3 seeks learning and knowledge, not so much as something pleasurable, but
as a form of exercising power. It is an instrumental use of intelligence, at the service of his
passion to shine socially, especially for having an image of control and competition in front of the
group. Thus Francesco comments: “At the bottom of my behavior in life is always social power.
In politics, in my social life...”.

⠀⠀⠀His strategy is based on getting things done. Sensitive to the needs of others, he offers
them what they need, but in a manipulative way, without genuine interest, but out of arrogance.
And if the other becomes an obstacle to his goals, he mistreats or destroys him mercilessly (just
as the Enneatype Eight puts the satisfaction of his supposed needs before any relationship and
feelings).
⠀⠀⠀His feelings also turn out to be so falsified that we can say that he feels “what he needs to
feel”; this is why we count him among the cold and rational emotional characters. Francesco
acknowledges his relationship with women of high economic status and his personal process of
change:

“I have always lived with women of a much higher socioeconomic status than myself, of much
greater prestige. I was very successful with wealthy women. With my wife, 40% of my attraction
to her was because of her personal attractiveness and 60% was because she came from a rich
and important family. At the time I didn’t realize this; it was years later. When I realized it, I felt
terrible and started to doubt whether I really loved her; we had a couple crisis. I realized that
through my partner I gave myself the prestige that I lacked. And when I don’t need her, I see
that I want her for herself. If I can love her without needing her, that is love. I achieved that
through inner work”. — Francesco

⠀⠀⠀Social E3s are ambitious and competitive, very determined to get what they want, and they
calculate cruelly. The goal is always put before the relationship. Although their world is that of
relationships, of cell phones, of media networks, of photos that testify to the thousands of places
they have visited and people they have met. The experience of being in a relationship, or in life
itself, is not based on an inner trust that is integrated into your person, but needs to be
documented concretely in photographic images because only what you see exists.

2. THE CHARACTERISTIC
NEUROTIC NEED
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⠀⠀⠀The neurotic need, which replaces the real need to feel the fullness of life and
self-fulfillment, is to shine, to have prestige; Social E3 seeks to please by the appreciative gaze.

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 child was valued for what he did and reinforced by applause. Thus was born
the need to repeat achievements to keep getting that evaluative look:

“At school we had to do very well. I still remember when he told me: “If you are good, you will
get the scholarship”. I get a scholarship every year. Mom wanted me to study music, piano; for
dad, sports was a great school. I liked everything that I knew they liked. I studied piano and
excelled in sports: baseball, basketball, swimming... I knew I was a pretty girl, but the only words
I remember my father saying about my appearance were, “If you lose weight, you look better”.

⠀⠀⠀Luster is sought in action, acting to make oneself look good and thus have an idea of
success of oneself, especially in the material, in the evident; hence the importance of money
and status.

⠀⠀⠀If a person doesn’t feel seen, he will need to do something to be seen, he will use more
credentials, he will be more charming. Social E3, brilliance fixes you on appearance, on objects
of prestige and beauty, socially qualified from and for the other, not felt from within: “When you
go into a restaurant, you prefer not to look at others” says Ana — because you don’t want to
check reality, you want to stay with the fantasy that they look at you! Yolanda tells us about this:

“If I get to a group and I feel that no one is looking at me, I pretend that I don’t care, but I know
perfectly well who I like, who might be a competitor, who I don’t like and who I might not look
like. I try to go unnoticed, but I know they are looking at me. I try to be discreet but attractive,
well composed without being vulgar or dazzling, pretending that this is natural in me; Even if I
am disheveled, it is not spontaneous”.

⠀⠀⠀Showing even a flaw or weakness correctly can result in a sales success. The supposed
weakness ends up feeding the ego. “No” and “I don’t know” don’t usually appear in your
vocabulary, because they don’t sell.

⠀⠀⠀The cost of brilliance is high; the person tries very hard it may seem, but arrives at the end
of the day exhausted: “I don’t know what happens to me; I’m tired!” he can be heard saying.
One is allowed to be tired or sick on weekends, and also during vacations.

⠀⠀⠀His neurosis aims to show himself “on top”; it’s a bloated passion, like enneatype Two, with
the difference that E2 is full of pride that he is the one who has value in himself, while E3 Social
is full of being considered brilliant by others. Like the E2, the E3 Social lacks the humility and,
above all, the authenticity needed to recognize that his “superior” position is a neurotic
avoidance mechanism, don’t just be the person you are. Avoid contact with the fear of not being
recognized or valued socially, which is your source of neurotic nourishment.

⠀⠀⠀Social E3s is a passion in the service of not getting in touch with the lack of value and the
impossibility of moving towards personal fulfillment supported by the satisfaction of your own
desires, projects, and values. In the lack of contact with his inner world, with his depth,
self-realization becomes the need to conform to what the social market demands. Swallowed up
by giving this passion lived as a necessity, tied to the external goal he wants to achieve, Social
E3 perpetuates the disconnection with his own interiority, keeping himself at a distance and in
self-repression.

⠀⠀⠀The neurotic illusion is that the desired social status allows him not to feel the emptiness of
internal references, to relate to others or to love himself. In this way, he manages not to touch
the fear and depression that would come from this contact with his truth. He therefore
passionately seeks to shine, imagining finding his place in the world. Shine, money and power
are energetic drugs that give him strength and enthusiasm to keep living with a thousand tasks,
a thousand relationships, to feel that you have a full life, to not fall into failure.

⠀⠀⠀He can’t get tired because tiredness would be a time of emptiness, a silence in which the
monster could wake up and raise its head. Behind his perpetual motion, disconnected from
authentic feelings, is an attempt to control the meaninglessness of life itself. It is a narcissistic
drive, constant anxiety, and deeper, the dark hole of the finished just to achieve the reflection of
this ideal, with the arrogance of being able to determine events. It is impossible for him to stay in
the here and now, to flow with what is happening. He lives in the grandiose fantasy that the
world can be controlled and determined, both relationships and nature:

“I’ve always worked hard and found a wonderful trick to succeed. I knew that if I thought of
everything I had to do in a day, I would never get it done. So that’s what I did: the night before,
before I went to sleep, I would make a quick plan of everything I envisioned for the next day, and
then break it down into micro-steps. Each one was practically independent of the other, but
essential for the next step. And each one in itself was feasible, while the big project as a whole
seemed huge. So I focused my attention only on each specific phase, without really forgetting
the final big project, which guided me and marked my direction. And so, step by step, I
managed to achieve great goals. Sometimes it takes a long time; I get impatient with the small
steps, but I respect the big phases, with patience. It’s just a matter of time”.

⠀⠀⠀In Social E3, more than in the other subtypes, the mystification of the substitution of
existential and spiritual vitality for egocentric actions is explicit. The superficial false mask is
vividly combined with authentic reality; the person is fully identified with his or her personality.

⠀⠀⠀It is interesting to remember the term that Ichazo used for enneatype Three: Ego-go. It
seems that the passion Naranjo identified for E3 Social, prestige, perfectly represents this living;
going for the glitter of gold believing it to be light. Neurotic need has completely replaced the
deep need to be. The surface has become substance and is constantly polished and adorned.
The Social E3 invents itself, just as it invents stories, anecdotes and experiences to build the
character. To the point that lies can no longer be recognized.

3. INTERPERSONAL STRATEGY AND

IRRATIONAL IDEAS ASSOCIATED
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⠀⠀⠀We have already explained how in his childhood, the E3 Social child adapts to the
expectations of his father or mother, to whom he offers the results that are expected of him, with
the consequence of a total identification with a self-image that corresponds to an efficient and
successful person who can do anything. Deceiving himself and his environment that the only
existing reality is the one he can appear to be, and that he thinks is the one the world asks of
him, he comes to deny or forget the existence of an internal reality, and also of an external
reality that has a life of its own, regardless of what he can “build”.

⠀⠀⠀Thus, he learns to manage his interpersonal relationships and with the world from an
incessant construction of himself. His experiences, thoughts, and behaviors crystallize around
the basic belief that he can direct people and events through his activities and will.
⠀⠀⠀The fixation of the false self-image in E3 Social subtype is based on the belief that
presenting an image that the group or context can approve of is the only way to be able to be in
the world, to belong, and to be accepted.

⠀⠀⠀E3 has a basic belief that you can, with your will, change not only events, but also people.

⠀⠀⠀An idea linked to the belief that you can “do something to achieve your ends”. Doing has
extreme power. So much so that it can lose its value as an instrument for a specific goal to
become, by itself, a pillar of your style of being in the world. In his continuous need to fill his life
by doing, he loses sight of the meaning of his actions; or rather, the only meaning left is to
occupy a highly visible prestigious position. It is incessant work and without awareness of the
incredible effort involved, because the addiction to success does not allow you to feel tired. It
could be explained as a version of the widespread theory in this enneatype of: “If I do, I exist”
which, in the specific case of Social E3, sounds like this: “If I do important things and they are
socially recognized successes, I exist”. With this philosophy, the Social E3 builds his sense of
identity and his view of things.

⠀⠀⠀We can understand how this way of thinking reveals a narcissistic and omnipotent
self-image, allowing Social E3 to delude himself about the power he has over his life, believing
he can manage it independently of external reality. Without confidence in his value as a person,
he neurotically relies on the effectiveness of his actions, the power of his maneuvers. He is
convinced that his success depends on his will, not taking into account that others and the
whole world have their own ways apart from him. But this is how you believe you can avoid any
experience of failure or feeling of helplessness. You cannot flow with the facts of life, much less
with your own sensations and emotions; you cannot trust because that would be losing control.

⠀⠀⠀Around the distorted cognitive core of the description, he develops a set of “crazy” ideas,
that is, we end up irrational and disconnected from reality. In particular, it is believed that he will
achieve the satisfaction of his needs-success through adaptation, whether in personal
relationships or in the social context, even adapting to the customs or fashions of the moment,
in the belief that if he adopts a dress or a fashionable thought, he is guaranteed success. Your
social vanity feeds on irrational ideas about how you will achieve prestige, success, and power.

⠀⠀⠀One of them, as we have seen, is to have anything that makes you look powerful. Whether
it’s objects, houses, or friends, “to have is power”. There’s an idea of being rich, of having things
so that you don’t need them and don’t have to ask for them, because you don’t want to show
any weakness or powerlessness. Social E3 becomes a user, he doesn’t ask clearly; he makes
others feel guilty (projective identification) when his needs or desires, which are not clear to
himself and even less so to the other, are not met. But he takes it for granted that others need to
know what he needs and agree to be used for his purpose.

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 assumes a leadership of organization and structure, but is less well held in
the front row as a leader, where he would have to endure what might happen to him (hostility,
envy, failure...) by occupying the top can position. He is close to power, but a bit behind,
sustained by the belief that the company of someone important is enough to be important
himself. An example of a power strategy associated with having is offered by Francesco: “At one
point in my life, when my father died, I said to myself, I will never be poor. I’m not interested in
being very rich, I just want not to be poor. What really interests me is to have a lot of power,
power itself”.

Francesco, Haydée and Yolanda see money as a means to access a higher class, a higher
status: I am worth it if I have money.

⠀⠀⠀In interpersonal relationships, the E3 Social seeks consensus based on emotion, and does
so by perceiving the needs of the group and conforming to them as a consensual strategy. One
can say that his leadership is of an empathic type, but of an empathy that he uses strategically
to be recognized, less seductive than that of E2. In the process of building trust, he can lose
authority, being an emotional leader, but not too directive. Leadership serves to speculate and
manipulate; He looks for the right moment to say things and can be stubborn, rigid and
repetitive, endlessly insisting for his own ends. Francesco relates: “I learned to be false. I
learned to look much bigger and better than I was, and I actually subjugated the rich kids.
Socioeconomically, I was last in my school, and I made up for it with my strategic ability to be
the best, the leader of the rich”.

⠀⠀⠀In therapy, one of his crazy ideas is to perform magic, miracles with the patient. E3 Social
therapist, despite his rationality, thinks he’s great. Having the status of “therapist” already
satisfies his need to feel “superior”.

⠀⠀⠀Another irrational idea is related to emotional disidentification, that is, the lack of real depth
in relation to oneself. By not being in touch with his authentic emotions, the E3 Social loses the
ability to distinguish between what he feels and what is appropriate to feel, in the context or in
the relationship; nor does he distinguish between the falsehood created by him and reality. This
is how he also manages his internal emotional world: by taking advantage of the emotions that
may come from the other, or by inventing emotions that he ends up believing and living as his
own. So explains Ana:

“I need fiction to feed on life. My own life has so often seemed gray, unreal, dull, that I have tried
to compensate by eating, mainly, cinema, because fiction is more real than life itself, where I
have more derealization. Cinema fills me with the intensity and emotional depth that I lack in my
day to day life. It gives me the sense of reality that life itself does not give me. In my normal life,
my restraint doesn’t let me emote like that, because I don’t want to feel sorry for myself or be
weak”.

⠀⠀⠀Another crazy idea from E3 Social has to do with distrust. This character has become
disidentified with his being and, in the absence of real referents, doubts. Without roots, he
“cannot support himself”, and so he distrusts himself so much that he transfers this suspicion to
others. In Francesco’s words: “A good enemy is worth more than a bad friend. You know what
your enemy’s interests are and you may agree with him, but with your friends you never know
what hidden agenda they carry”.

⠀⠀⠀The ideas that are most frightening in E3 Social are not being successful or being bad. Both
fears are related to having to ask for or not having: money, power or prestige; in short, with the
contact with the powerlessness of their doing. The power that work, money or prestige give you
is also associated with the fear of loneliness and the irrational belief that they will leave you if
you are not interesting or have nothing to give. He feels that for himself, for who he is, they don’t
love him. For Yolanda, the crazy idea would be, “If I have nothing to offer, I am alone; if they
don’t need me, they don’t love me; they need me if I have something to give”.

⠀⠀⠀It is important for your transformation that Social E3 stay in touch and be consistent with
emotion, even consensus where it means there is no group consensus. The wrong strategy is to
sacrifice your true emotion for the group in order to maintain your emotional leadership at the
expense of being above yourself.

⠀⠀⠀With children or teenagers it is easy for him to become authoritarian, but with equal or
superior adults he cannot resort to authority, and so he seeks consensus, confirming the crazy
idea that the most important thing is to be confirmed and only by achieving it can he be
accepted and loved.

⠀⠀⠀This character imposes authority in a way that is considered inappropriate. Despite his great
and constant efforts at self-control and adaptation, the mechanism fails and he can “lose face”,
becoming embarrassingly out of control.

⠀⠀⠀Social E3 tends to over-adapt to the environment, while being inadequate within it. In
relationships with others there is confluence, adaptation, adequacy, chameleonism, or “adaptive
faculty: it sounds better”.

⠀⠀⠀He finds it hard to laugh at himself, although humor decriminalizes his clumsiness, but he
feels very ashamed when he is pointing out a flaw or is ridiculed; he experiences it as a failure,
a clumsiness. Environments like the Gestalt suit him very well, where self-denial is rewarded. It
also helps to face it with humor if someone catches him in his neurosis. In fact, humor is a hook
that E3 Social throws wherever it fishes; it laughs at itself before others do; it’s about not losing
control. Francesco acknowledges, “I realize how much I instrumentalize self-denial. I can’t help
but show my weakness, but I do it by exploiting it, for seductive purposes”.

⠀⠀⠀Notable in this subtype is the ability to speak without saying much, in an empty and
demagogic way. He measures time, or rather, the attention of the audience, to whose
fluctuations he naturally adapts.

⠀⠀⠀Social E3 (like the other two subtypes) assumes so many identities because from very early
on he “understood” that, being what he is, he is worthless. At a certain point in this group’s work,
Haydée became emotional as she recalled the shame she felt for having considered her parents
vulgar. We got into a deep emotion, but we sustained it for a short time; we wanted to recover
soon and filled it with words. If we hadn’t, the hole would be so deep that it would be scary to fall
into it. It could have been a very intimate moment, but too much emotion cannot be sustained.

⠀⠀⠀When he speaks in truth, and not in his head, the Social E3 gets scared. He seems very
vulnerable when he is authentic, and it doesn’t take long to recover, to fake it again. He
struggles with emotion from the crazy idea that emotion is weakness, and he, of course, cannot
allow himself to be weak, because in his childhood the demonstration of his weakness was not
reinforced, but penalized. His false belief is that you have to be strong, understanding strength
as control of emotion or resistance. Remember Eustace:

“The feeling of shame is deep, especially when it escapes us, and others see “our inner
monster” in its different faces: the selfish one who really doesn’t care about others, the one who
doesn’t know, our coldness, our anger... broken... I entered this whole world of psychotherapy
when I was about twenty-five. It was a personal growth group; we were in the typical gestalt
circle and the therapist asked me, “What about you, what do you feel?” Besides not knowing,
not having contact with what I felt, it was tremendous for me. Someone was interested in how I
felt!”

⠀⠀⠀In E3 Social, adaptation to the environment matters too much. His fear of stepping out of
line, of being inadequate, an intruder or a nuisance makes him always measure his own limit
and that of others. He worries so much about controlling and not showing that he controls... But
he shows too much! Deep down, the experience of not being able to control puts the person of
this subtype in front of the unknown, not knowing who he is and what he wants, the lack of tools
to get along with others. As Haydée reports:

“When I was with older girls as a child, I would only interfere when I was very sure. Otherwise I
would remain quiet and attentive, to imitate what I liked best in each one. Even today, if I am in
an environment that I consider superior, I shut up and listen”.

⠀⠀⠀The need to adapt to the environment makes it impossible to be in touch with spontaneity.
Being spontaneous means letting yourself be seen for what you are, and what you think you are
has little value or can end up being wrong; better to seduce by adapting. Inside, he feels the
tension and dissonance, a moment when he feels lost. Giusy felt “very adequate and very
inadequate at the same time. I think Social E3s have the feeling of being inadequate in the
group, and at the same time we do everything to adapt to the context, to fit in”.

⠀⠀⠀The context fulfills a mirror function where the Three can be reflected and “build a sense of
identity”. The reflection he lacked in childhood he continues to seek in the group, adapting to the
image it returns to him: “If I am what I see you want, I can be with you”.

⠀⠀⠀All E3 subtypes have a sense of being stupid; perhaps because what they do doesn’t come
from within. They look out what the needs of the environment are and they meet it, but they
have a very hard time knowing what theirs is.
⠀⠀⠀This highly emotional character easily detects the emotions of others and, in order to be on
the front line, is concerned with reaching a consensus, when it would be more convenient for
him to remain in the center and defend his opinion, regardless of what others think. According to
Lowen, the psychopath, corresponding to E3, does things right so as not to be caught at fault. In
this sense, Ana says:

“Accustomed to meeting others' expectations, it’s not easy to know when it comes to my own
desires. I think I protect my therapist from myself, so that she doesn’t feel incompetent. I offer
him some progress, some insight when it seems to me that he feels we are stuck and he can
take responsibility for not doing well enough. What I need most from her is to accept me, listen
to me, support me, and point me out without beating me up or judging me: a good and wise
mother. If, as patient E3, you show a mask to the therapist and he believes it and makes no
effort to go beyond it, I don’t think therapy can work anymore”.

⠀⠀⠀From his adaptation mechanism, and wanting to please, Social E3 insists on this extreme
control over the other and his relationships, with the idea that he can control everything and
thereby avoid his insecurity, aggressiveness, non-acceptance.

⠀⠀⠀His competition is a blind strategy to himself, hidden as it is behind seductive and

apparently docile strategies. When it feels it will not win, it may “cut off the head” of the winner.
Another way to deal with the bet is to ally with the perceived enemy. But preferably he will
withdraw from the competition, feigning disinterest and disguising the sense of internal failure or
shame behind the disconnected mask. For him, indifference is much better than fighting. When
the E3 Social doesn’t know how to relate, or feels that he doesn’t like something, or that he
won’t like it, he cozies up to the other. It is an aggressive indifference, which disqualifies the
opponent and makes him feel that his is not valid. It is the invalidation of one’s own projected
onto the other.

⠀⠀⠀For E3 Social there are only a handful of authority figures who deserve to be recognized as
such...and sometimes only because of the power they wield. Highly hierarchical and normative,
he has an excellent detector of power, that is, who is worth recognizing, to get what he wants. If
you manage to seduce authority, standing out from the rest, you feel powerful. At best, being
recognized by authority facilitates the development of the values of dedication and loyalty.

4. OTHER CHARACTERISTICS AND

PSYCHODYNAMIC CONSIDERATIONS
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

◯   ◦ Competitive
⠀⠀⠀“Anything goes to stay on Olympus”, Juanjo Herrera will say when analyzing the film Eva al
naked. In the machinery put at the service of its basic objective: success and social recognition,
this subtype displays the most powerful and unprincipled competitiveness.

⠀⠀⠀The forms that competition takes may be appropriate, but the substance is relentless. The
Social E3, in its so-so self-image, hides all manipulative action aimed at destroying the
opponent through tricks and lies. It will rarely be confronted directly; it will always be with more
or less subtle defamations. Power is exercised from the shadows with a smile and no
disheveled hair, avoiding any space for intimacy. His efforts are aimed at not losing his good
image and social position, through his attractiveness and social niceness, rather than his good
performance of tasks. All his efforts are focused on maintaining a leadership role that allows him
to control the situation.

⠀⠀⠀Envy is one of the silent drivers of your action. At work you go after your ambitions with
crude chameleon tricks and showing your “merchandise” all the time: what you have or who you
are related to. He will also use your vision to have power, which he will access through the right
silence, the right word, the right action that he imagines can please you. Once you have won a
place of recognition, the struggle continues, now seeking constant adaptation so as not to lose
the privileges you have won. Here you can have no limit to stepping on anyone, or to construct
lies that invalidate those who interfere with your path to the podium. This is one of the character
traits that best evidences your connection with E8, along with revenge.

◯   ◦ Vengeful

⠀⠀⠀If he fails to achieve his goal, or is discovered in his deception or his true intentions, he tries
to maintain the good image; there will be an opportunity to exact a cold revenge where
everything will be worth it. Information manipulation and slander are often used in this subtype.
The strategic lies to discredit the other are so well invented that he himself loses track of the
boundary between reality and fiction.

◯   ◦ Histrionic

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 remains unperturbed so as not to touch or show its anger and pain. His
armor is therefore not to lose his ways or show signs of emotional weakness. So how does he
express the histrionic trait? Well, by impatience, its disguised form of anger. Not getting what
you want when you want it: this is what disturbs his impassive behavior and draws the veil away
from his anger. If he can’t be the center of attention because his seduction is no longer worth it,
he reaches his limit; he can’t tolerate it because his deceit is exposed and he is dismissed with
dramatic and exaggerated exits that show his intolerance.

◯   ◦ Simultaneous/Multifaceted Chameleon

⠀⠀⠀We could call the E3 Social simultaneous multi-faceted. In everyday life he can water the
plants, talk on his cell phone, and tend the roast in the oven while eating an apple and thinking
about what he has to do next.

⠀⠀⠀In his perfect adaptation to his environment, he learns how to be in any situation, how to
dress, what to eat and what to drink, whether to be quiet or to speak. From control, he
synthesizes what is most convenient and passes for natural behavior studied in detail, far from
the slightest spontaneity.

◯   ◦ Masculinity and femininity inverted

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 woman has too much masculine energy (logical, rational and
action-oriented). She has not been able to take the tender and receptive energy from her
mother; he has not absorbed her loving and protective part. She feels complicit among men, like
a colleague who helps them to be even more of a man. She admires strong guys and feels like
a warrior with a hard shell to protect herself from everything and everyone.

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 man does not learn to use his father’s energy, who watches in fear, hiding his
emotions. He has a more feminine appearance. And he fears his strength; to compensate, he
fancies himself as a sort of uptight guy. Among his friends, he will seek out the strong and
powerful.

⠀⠀⠀Both men and women suffer from a distortion: they associate strength with violence, as with
an uncontrolled outburst. It is healthy for both to experience the strength of the masculine and
feminine in a group; allow yourself to enter a space that is not one of seduction or competition.

◯   ◦ Manipulator when giving and receiving

⠀⠀⠀Social E3 hates feeling indebted, so he feels he has to give more than he receives. He can’t
even give in equal measure; he has to give more and, if he can, better. To ensure that he will
receive, he gives in a mercantile exchange in which he has to give over the top. This is not
altruism, compassion, or generosity; it is a strictly commercial quid pro quo.

◯   ◦ Appropriationist

⠀⠀⠀E3 Social only moves on safe ground, based on what others have done. He analyzes,
filters, optimizes, and generates a new product with no room for inspiration. He doesn’t trust
being able to create for himself, being too ambitious and controlling and overly concerned with
the judgment of others. Giusy puts it very well: “Metaphorically, the creativity of a Social E3
would be cut and pasted”.

◯   ◦ Death / Freeze Avoidance

⠀⠀⠀In the face of death, Social E3 is emotionally blocked. He stops feeling, he freezes himself
in a cold absence so as not to face the pain and sadness, This is how Francesco recalls the
news of the attack suffered by his father: “We didn’t know how he was, they didn’t give details of
how the wounded were. I had a tremendous fall and I was completely frozen”. After you cool
down, choose anger, expressed externally or internally, over grief. No space is allowed to cry, to
let go; he’s afraid to connect with the giving of emotion; body, feel the heart and overflow.

⠀⠀⠀Death means for an E3 Social the degradation of the body and the total loss of control. He
associates it with the body becoming unpleasant, with “losing face”. Giusy recalls: “In a directed
fantasy, I always saw myself dead, and contacted the disgusting part of my body. Rats, insects,
worms ate me; I felt rotten liquids oozing from my body”. Faced with evidence of his own frailty,
this character panics.

⠀⠀⠀He’s afraid of dying alone and of physical pain. The anguish he perceives with the
experience of death takes place without emotional content, defending himself with the
mechanism of denial. He remains “in denial of the fact, the first phase of the duel”, says
Eustaquio. Avoid thinking about death from the omnipotent feeling that it will never die; death is
something that happens to others. In cases where it was a constant presence in the family
environment, the feeling of being the bearer of death is generated in the Social E3.

⠀⠀⠀It is not until he loses a loved one that he becomes aware of his own mortality. The
proximity of death, moments of physical danger, tragic news or illness, he prefers to process
them rationally, and instead of collapsing in grief, he will focus on action. “With cancer I didn’t
miss a single day of work”, says Ana. To which Haydée adds: “Within minutes of my father’s
death, I went to the phone and started making arrangements. My father died at 3:30 pm and by
six I was already at a funeral home eighty kilometers from home”.

⠀⠀⠀As an adult, he associates death with an inner non-being, an inner desert, a cold, dry
depression. If you allow yourself to accompany a loved one in this transit, you experience a love
that opens your heart, and then you live a purity in surrender, a transcendental experience:
”When I said goodbye to my father, I felt a lot of love, of a quality that is hard to explain”, recalls
Haydée.

⠀⠀⠀The approach of death can also become something frivolous. The Social E3, instead of
grieving, thinks about what clothes to wear to the wake. In some cases, the Hoffman process
served to mourn all the deaths that had not been mourned at the time.

◯   ◦ Attached to the money

⠀⠀⠀The Social E3 takes risks, even too many, but it’s certain that in the face of economic risk he
will know how to find the means to maintain his status. He doesn’t like to ask, but he won’t give
anything up.
⠀⠀⠀From a young age, he seeks to be financially independent. He doesn’t watch his bank
account, doesn’t save and spends more than he has. He’s generous with other people’s money,
and more “greedy” when it comes to his own.

⠀⠀⠀Another way he spends money is to please others with gifts, delicious food, etc., as a way to
buy friendship. It is a matter of generosity as a matter of image; “It is frowned upon not to be
generous”, Yolanda clarifies. E3 Social tends to give the couple things that they really like, but
not necessarily the other. They are manipulative gifts: “Look what I brought for you..., and then it
ends up in my room, or it’s for me to wear the perfume I like”.

⠀⠀⠀If living austerely is what he takes, he will do it, facing the gallery, but he will have a
Mercedes Benz in a parking lot not far from there. He coexists with powerful people with
purchasing power greater than his own, and behaves with them as if they were of the same
clan, a prisoner of internal insecurity. Although he doesn’t have it, he seems to have it, by the
attitude of a wealthy patrician that he knows how to adopt. An E3 Social would find it hard to
obey the mandate of a new Messiah who came with a “leave everything and follow me”.

◯   ◦ Attached to the image of your house

⠀⠀⠀An E3 Social can’t live anywhere; he looks for large spaces that he decorates with his own
style. His is a charming house. It is not only the place where he lives, but also a showcase to
show what he is and what he has. Take the opportunity to receive friends or important people
who will appreciate the style that permeates every corner. It takes care of all the details and
perfumes a house with flowers, candles, and incense that oscillates between a certain chaos
and immaculate cleanliness.

◯   ◦ Scatologically modest

⠀⠀⠀This is a topic that an E3 Social would rather not talk about. He is neat in his personal
cleanliness, in some cases to the point of generating a reaction formation that causes him to
wash himself several times a day. He eliminates fart, snot, poop and pee, as it seems to him
something very unpleasant that polite people do not show in public. Equipped with a
discriminating sense of smell, he hates bad body odors.

⠀⠀⠀He is usually constipated by a masochistic fixation that causes him to restrain himself. He is
able to get on with the task at hand, instead of satisfying his physiological needs. He keeps
farting to himself, which is allowed only in an isolated bathroom, away from other ears, but if the
evidence betrays him, he justifies it as “uncontrolled gas”, and if the fart is not his, he suffers
thinking that someone might suspect it is coming from him. When he is away from home, it is
difficult for him to defecate.

◯   ◦ Seducer
⠀⠀⠀Social E3 is not very passionate, not very sexually active; sexuality puts her at the service of
liking, until she is sure she is loved. For him, it matters more to feel that the other likes him than
the experience of sexuality itself. And he is more interested in seduction than in deepening
relationships. He has sex thinking about what the other likes, more than about his own pleasure.
Being a good lover becomes more of a chore and sex more of a product for sale. In the love
encounter, before the orgasm, he feels fear of losing control, an interference that hinders deep
loving surrender.

⠀⠀⠀If he connects with her, he filters out as an instinctive part that he enjoys aggressive sex,
something dirty that he has to hide: he prefers a self to unleash his beast and maintains a less
exciting relationship with.

⠀⠀⠀Among men, problems of impotence, premature ejaculation, lack of desire and pain in the
penis may arise; and among women there is a tendency to frigidity.

◯   ◦ Studied

⠀⠀⠀Social E3 dresses by giving meaning and attributes to clothing, which becomes an

instrument for their social movements. She dresses to please, is striking in her appearance and
bold in shapes and colors. It has its own style, studied in detail so that it never goes unnoticed.
Casual clothes and brands coexist in her closet, and we can find clothes to go to the African
jungle in the most elegant outfits for a palace dinner. She has the pose of showing off her closet,
and although the clothes are cheap, they look expensive because of the way she wears them.

◯   ◦ Cheater/Liar

⠀⠀⠀Turn your traps into a strategy; they don’t erode your conscience. As Francesco explains: “I
start studying a few days before the exam and tell myself that I’m so good that I’ll pass without
nudging. And I pass” He builds traps to get what he wants from others, selling his merchandise
as if he is really interested in the other person’s needs, or with strategic flattery.

⠀⠀⠀He invents himself just as he invents stories, characters, or events that might embellish his
image or be useful in his social ascension. And he uses lies to defend himself where someone
can unmask him. The identification with his mask is so global that the lie itself can be part of a
character that is in no way different from the person.

◯   ◦ Independent work

⠀⠀⠀Try to avoid bosses and rigid schedules. For the Social E3 it is very important to have
freedom, and in case there is a boss, he tries to maintain his independence by seducing
authority: he “infiltrates”, measures his actions to gain power spaces that give certain privileges,
and if he can, the boss will end up becoming a friend.

◯   ◦ Fearful/Disgraceful/Violent/Repressed
⠀⠀⠀Social E3 denies fear, ignores it with action: “In my childhood and youth I was very afraid
and, out of shame, I masked it with counterphobic attitudes” recalls Ana.

⠀⠀⠀When he brings out his anger, he actually uses a precise and lethal scalpel. He lives with
the feeling that there is a killer instinct in him so great that, if left free, it would turn him into a
criminal: “I feel so dark inside that I think I could kill; that’s why I repress myself” Francesco
confesses. “When I feel an aggression...” —agrees Haydée— “The first thing that comes out of
me is total hatred and the will to kill”. Giusy comments that she sometimes felt diabolical.

◯   ◦ Lazy

⠀⠀⠀A functioning E3 Social forgets its basic needs. Such as eating, sleeping or going to the
bathroom, to finish what he is doing. Despite feeling lazy.

Eustace adds a nuance to this paradox: “We are trustworthy, hardworking, but outwardly, in the
tasks abroad. But we don’t take care of ourselves in the things that do us good” —Ana agrees—
“If you save it for your leisure, since leisure never comes without homework, you don’t do it”.

⠀⠀⠀Laziness mixes with lack of discipline; It is difficult for him to keep a commitment to himself,
especially if it is something that concerns the care of his spirit. The spirit is not something
concrete, you can’t see it, so he doesn’t trust that it has value. With the same strength that it is
determined and strenuous in its egoic actions, it neglects to remember its subtler and deeper
parts.

⠀⠀⠀This character becomes an expert at giving recommendations that he himself does not carry
out, unless they are imposed as a task.

◯   ◦ Interested Friend

⠀⠀⠀Social E3 knows a lot of people, but has few friends. Sue chooses her friends from the
gender that attracts her, and her relationships are never disinterested. He finds it difficult to be
with someone who is simply a friend, because deep down there is a mercantilist interest: if the
other has money, power, prestige, wisdom, beauty... then he wants to have him as a friend.
Look for something in friends that you can not only value, but also use. He doesn’t know how to
go to the other from the heart, he feels disarmed and vulnerable: “If you are going to introduce
me to the President of the Republic” —Francesco admits— “He doesn’t take five minutes to
show up. On the other hand, if you tell me, “Go make friends”, I’m very afraid and tremendously
anxious”.

⠀⠀⠀By masking your emotions, you can be jealous and manipulative without showing it. You can
convey superiority in a veiled way when you are apparently exalting others. He expects the
other to recognize and appreciate you, and rarely breaks this automatic mechanism and simply
lets himself be and enjoy the friendship. He validates his prestige as a function of the other, as
Giusy confirms:

“Without saying: I’m a friend of so-and-so, without openly bragging about it, even pretending
humility, I put in the conversation (without saying openly, but insinuating) what my high-level
contacts are, and with that, I convey that I’m a person of value”.

⠀⠀⠀In relationships, he feels faithful even after being unfaithful. This is justified because he
spends most of his time conducting himself without being aware of the infidelity. He breaks off a
relationship overnight because outwardly he maintained, until that moment, the impression that
nothing was happening. He avoids confrontation and would rather send his lawyer than put on a
show.

◯   ◦ Envious

⠀⠀⠀He envies the possession of objects, but almost nothing he lacks inside, such is his internal
disconnection that he only goes for the external: “Today...” —says Francesco— “It’s different for
me: I see other good therapists and I would like to manage the therapeutic relationship like
them. But that is recent. Before, I wanted objects, things, and that didn’t satisfy me: I bought and
felt equally empty. It was a fixation, it became something obsessive”. Giusy also talks about
envy:

“Let’s imagine the situation: I’m with Eustace and Ana. Two women and one man. I couldn’t
compete with her openly; it would be embarrassing for me. So my strategy would be to speak as
if I were speaking well of her, but letting in manipulative comments like: “Ana is dangerous, a
maneater, be careful with her”, and without overtly exalting myself, because then my vanity
would be too obvious. Behind this manipulative strategy there is an envy that I deny”.

◯   ◦ Jealousy

⠀⠀⠀Jealousy is aroused especially if he senses a rival. What may seem normal, but is that the
Social E3 deeply neglects his partner, from lack of intimacy, he stops looking at her, until
someone who might threaten his place doesn’t show up. He experiences the third party as
someone who is worth more, or who is better looking, or who has something of great value, so
that not only his love relationship is at risk, but he may lose his power, his status, his
importance. His prestige. The presence of a rival brings with it the monster of social failure.

◯   ◦ Ambitious

⠀⠀⠀His effort in social and career ascension is different from the ambition of Social E2. Both
plan strategies and seduce people who can take them to a recognized place, but E2 sells
himself as great and expresses his generosity with great warmth, while E3 sells his work or
organizational efficiency, and especially his efforts, with feelings of insecurity inside. Play more
on being useful and study carefully what you need to make several profits, but you always have
to be correct and adequate.

◯   ◦ Cold

⠀⠀⠀Emotional coldness obviously has to do with disconnection from his affective world. He
doesn’t know what he feels, and for him, feelings are more obstacles that get in his way. In the
same way, although he may be empathetic, he does not take into account the emotions of the
other person, which are not on his map. People are objectified, they receive accounting grades,
and what they receive among what they give. Not surprisingly, in intensely painful situations he
can appear serene; never lose the mask.

◯   ◦ Impatient

⠀⠀⠀Time, for Social E3 is the time you have to do your things or wait to get what you want. More
than a time to live it is a useful time. And it had better be fast, for it does not tolerate emptiness
or inactivity. This is a character pushed into the future (of his successes), a future that is
fantasized or that he needs to realize at full speed. Living the here and now would mean for E3
Social to flow with life, to have fun, but he has no confidence or hope that this is enough to live
for.