YOU TOO CAN LEAP AND FALL ACROSS THIS COMIC. BOOK DEAD WHEN YOU SEE THE FACE UPON THE FLOOR IN THis ISSUE oF MAD! __—I WAS UPLIFTED FROM THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR BY THIS REVEALING EXPERIENCE! I LAUGHED 50 HARD 1 ALMOST BUST THE BINDING! WAS THE CENTER OF ATTRACTION... THE STAR. VEAeE SEND ME THE NEXT B EVERYBODY WANTED TO OANCE WITH ME! — } yssueS"OF PANIC FOR WHICH T ENCLOSE WAS RUSHED! SO BE POPULAR LIKE ME/WEAR + ONE DOLLAR (81,00) PANIC! RUN DOWN AND GET INTO YOUR COPY AT YOUR LOCAL NEWSSTAND. IF YOU'RE THE ‘SHY TYPE AND WOULD RATHER DRESS AT HOME, THEN YOU CAN SUBSCRIBE BY FILLING OUT THIS COUPON AND MAILING TO: Ca ha os RE eh Se eS RLS Eo eee ees SR ae Pees RES mie ee ioe okie ete ees CEES Rs eters tees Serena or ree irkedWAR COMICS DEPT: THE TRUCE HAS BEEN SIGNED IN KOREA! FOR SOME TIME, WE HAVE BEEN ITCHING TO SINK OUR ‘TEETH INTO ONE TYPE OF LITERATURE SORN OF THE WAR’..WE THINK THE TIME HAS COME/ ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THIS. ‘STORY AND REAL WAR IS TOTALLY ACCIDENTAL... IT 1S WITH THE SINCEREST RESPECT THAT WE DEDICATE THIS LAMPOON TO YOU REAL SOLDIERS WHO HAVE HAD TO PUT UP WITH THE GLAMORIZED WAR COMICS LIKE... OH HO Ha! THAT HMOE6.I, SHMOE! G.I. SHMOE!LISTEN/CANNON-FIRE | | SouNDS OF BaTrLE/OH ) YEAH! WE DROP P FRONT!... SOUNDS OF BATTLE!... AND You KNOW | | JOY! THERE'S NOTHING " THAT WHENEVER WE HEAR SOUNDS OF BATTLE, | | LiKE AGOOD BATILE WE DROP EVERYTHING AND RUN TO THE | (SME)... O1E AND ‘SOUNDS OF THE BATILE/ LEAVE EVERYTHING (SNIF) FOR A G00 aL" BATTLE! SF SYoe! EVERY | aww! Ai WHEN L BASH EM wira THE Tommy- J, GUN Burr! Ss FIRE POWER OF THIS MACHINE-GUN,WE'VE DESTROYED saW-HEaD! \ WAIT A She ENEMY Down 1 Hilti WITT) AMUMOTE, tasr man z Now We DESTa “He LAST MAN We CANNOT DESTROY THE MT caw-nea! ENEMY COWN TO THE LAST MAN “iTmE wiTTA iANLY BLOUSE "We taaT ag “LUN BUTT! MAN '3 THE LAST WOMANS 2 Se Se yy 3 YOU'RE ALL MWNE! T GAVE YOU A CHANCE 1 HITME WITTA GUN-BUTT... BUT NATURALLY, 5. GO ANEAD, BABY: WHAT IS IT YOU WISH TO TELL MEEFABY... THE WAY YOU ASK FOR CHEWING GUM. SENSATION UP AND DOWN TAKE HIS GUM, aay! VE Gor (DIAN BY PROVOKING THEM TO FIGHT OVER A WOMAN! sf MOF 2c EF RE FILTHY LIE! WE G.I. SHMOE! NEVER FIGHT ~~ LOOK AT O° ‘OVER WOMEN! ) ANG NOW WE TORTURE YOU FOR. INFORMATION! WE SHALL THRUST SHARP BURNING BAMBOO. SLIVERS UNDER YOUR FINGER NAILS! WILL YOU TELL ME WHAT. T WANT TO KNOW? TORTURES THAN THIS! PUT YOU ON PERMANENT KBP NOW WILL YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW: [6000 WORK, COMRADE BY CAUSING THEM TO FIGHT EACH OTHER, GT. SHOE HAS FIVE BULLETS IN HIS. SINE AND FOUR BULLETS THROUGH His HEART! SGT. SQUIRT HAS SEVEN BULLETS IN HIS HEAD AND A BAYONET THROUGH THE GUT! I THINK THEY ARE VERY GOOD, COMRADE LIEU WITH G.1. SHMOE AND SéT. SQUIRT CAPTURED, NOTHING STANDS BETWEEN US AND WORLD CONQUEST! ) WE WiLLTOOK.G.1.SHMOE! A NICE QUIET CELL’ WELL. ) AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE PEACE AND QUIET WITH- UT ANY WOMEN AROUND TO FIGHT OVER BUT 1... THE OTHER, een Ge HE UNITED Na Us SECRETS, THEN ROT IN A CELL WITH THIS OTHER AGENT OF THE UNITED NATIONS! QUIET/... LISTEN TOME! THERE nit MUCH TIME! T HAVE INFORMA- THAT I MUST GET CUT OF HERE! (ONE OF US MAY STILL ESCAPE AND SO (You Must LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT AE HAVE TO SAY TO YOU! BUT FIRST... IF WE ARE OVERHEARD... WE ARE LOST/... NOTHING..NOBODY MUST HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU! IF NECESSARY... WE MUST TAKE DRASTIC STEPS TO DESTROY ANYBODY WHO MIGHT OVERHEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO you! EVERY LIVING ANIMAL THING WE musT CESTROY THAT MIGHT rt WHAT HAVE TO MIGHT OVERHEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU!O.K,, SGT, SQUIRT! IVE GOT INFORMATION THAT'LL ANGE THE WHOLE COURSE OF THis WAR/ WE'VE SOTTA GET GUTTA HERE,’ FORTUNATELY, THEY HAVE. MERELY HALF A DIVISION ARMED ONLY WITH LIGHT WEAPONS TO GUARD US! ae HOW COME we KEEP SURELY A STRAY you FIRING CHANCE, LUCKY stor AMERICANS AND WE 4 “IS BOUND TO GET YOU! AAHOO! waich me co ana NOW THAT I'VE Gc FAVORITE, WEAPON ‘RIFLE-BUTTS YAHOO! 3 BROKE RIFLE- BUTT TO SPLINTERS SO NOW TLL, HAVE TO USE THe NEXT BEST YAHOO!...woRE Our THE Teak Bull. BUT THERE'S PLENTY OTHER TYPE BUTTS T CAN STILL USE 6.1, SHMOE/G.T SHMOE, YOU ARE KILLING AN ENEMY WITH A CANNON! I THOUGHT YOU ONLY USED YOuR FISTS I THOUGHT YOU ONLY USED YOUR GUN-BUTT/ ‘ATING CIRCUMETACES, Tim NOT PROUD!CALL OUT _))...11'S AN ENEMY AD- LT cau our, \..17'5 AN ENEMY THE MP'S! < SURRENDER!...A HUGE Ine RESERVES! Nance A HUGE CALL OUT) BANZA CHARGE \AC100K..)..CALL OUT ) BANZAI_ RETREAT. THE RESERVES! )RUNNING TOWARDS. HX THE M.P'S!) RUNNING AWAY FROM. ~ US AND THE WHOLE cece FROM G.I, SHMOE! 5 By ante ae es “FOR IF YOU LOOK OUT THE WNCON] Since! you AN ser squint | [wo/T QUESTION HAVE SINGLE HaNDeDLy TaKEN OVER | |"" THE Com. «PLEASE. IT IS | [YOU WILL SEE THAT my ARMY: The ENEMY aay’ Zu see You | | Manoee? Nor FoR yoUSE | | as TAKEN OVER YOUR ARMY, EGra GET A WEEK-END PASS FOR 7 ro aveston| | BY SUBVERSION... You Et THiS! CAND NOW IF YOU WL LEAVE 7 ow! me! YoU | | My WHOLE ARMY GF MEN 15 j Mer ane ALL THE ROOM AND ALLOW ME TC ON THE ENEMY COMMANDER. (OE... SET. SQUIRT! YOU THOUGHT YOU MY ARMY” PRISONER... AND NOW YOU BOTH FIND YOU ARE MY PRISONER!... TELL ME... AS YOU STAND GAPING FOCLISHLY ATONE, ANGTHER, HERE ALONE. WITH ME... WHAT IS. yd YOUR REACTION ( ...0UR REACTIONHEADQUARTERS 1 S TO FIGHT YOUR WOMEN... WE SENT A MESSAGE 70 CALLa MESTERN WOUyWOOD, THAT IS! TEVSION WAS RISING ON THE PLAINS! GQUATTERS.. FARMERS. WERE MOVING ONTO THE UNFENCED CATILE RANGES... PUTTING UP FENCES”.PUTTING UP Bab HOWARD JOHNSON RESTAURANTS NTO THIS FURSHLUGGINER MESS RODE A STRANGER WITH THE CHALY NAME OF . STRANGER HALT... ONE, TWO,/ "STRANGER! THAR'S SOMETHIN’ MiGHTY OE. THAR'S A STRANGER COMIN... THAR'S SOMETHIN MIGHTY “STRANGE "BOUT THE. WAY HE RIDES!... CAN'T EXACTLY PUT MUM FINGER ON IT, BUT THAR'S SOMETHIN MIGHTY STRANGE /USTEN, MISTUH! L DDN’ COME COOKIN’ FER TROUBLE... MERELY COME LOOKIN’ FER A REST ROOM / SIRANGER |. SAY/..2. OSE A HIRED HAND ROUND. ABOUTS HAR! LOOK AT MY FINE “HOUSTIEN COW. Wite YUM Stay? STRANGER 100K! 100K Jar My FINE: WEE, WEL Yn siay? w UM WHY DIDN'T YUH TELL ME YOU MAD ONE O° THESE IN THE WOSTRUS, FLARED AND. QUIVERING! MAN! LOOKIT THEM LINES... LOOKIT. THEM CURVES!..IVE JUST GOT TA hin 3 mare TOO FURE a V7 _iwstun!... WHEN I SEES A (TING OF Beauty... I JUST SETS ALL Musny INSIDE) THAR'S NUTHIN' AS BEAUTIFUL AS A. OOo LCOK HORSE? TO SHOOT, SANEF WILL YOU TEACH ME HOW TO GUN MY PLAYMATES, ‘SANEY WHAT'S YOUR GUN FOR, SANEE YOU CAN SHOOT, CANTCHA, SANE? YOU'RE A GUN-FIGHTER, AINTEHA, SANEE THAT'S A SPECIAL QUICK: DRAW GUN-FIGHTER GUN, AND NOU CAN BEAT ANYONE TO THE DRAW, HUM, SANEZ FANTASTIC IMAGINATIONS... AL~ cuvrcuTer’ ) WAYS LING INA LAND OF TJUST KNOW / MAKE- BELIEVE... WEAVING A SANE KIN 7 WHOLE WES OF FICTION ABOur SHOOT! SUCH SIMPLE THINGS AS Any NOVELTY] iy GeaRerre LiciteR”SANE! IT AIR MIGHTY FINE WAAL! DEEP COWN i “Me owe MEN ve HAVE, The Bree BE! NO WONDER WE SMELL Pigs, BOvS! Mrags A RINK, PIG-FARMER! PIG-FARMER /... HAVE aie DRINK, PG-FARMER! i HAVE ANOTHER, DON'T PusH TOO FAR cowsoy Have 2 berosi? ) ee E'S WITH ) Ve HAVE "NUTHER 7 NUTHER, Gani, PAG FARMER! GRINK, PIG-FARMER ‘LISTEN, FARMERS! SOUNDS LIKE SANE'S TROUBLE! ARE Wie GOIN' TO STAND AROUND WAR, WHILE THE CATTLEMEN ‘BEAT HIM UPE...0 CONT KNOW ABOUT Ww ‘S A-GOIN' IN TO ‘SANE?YES, OU GUESSED IT, SON THAT'S ONE PERS i MET 3 6UN- JUST CALL, HIM AT'S ALL! ALLS wan! UGH: aT Feuer 2 THe FARMERS HAVE US WHERE THEY WANT, UGHHT\ UG! swe). yEBi gotta We wine Gora Ane GG! Jas LONG Bie us as tone | CAN'T As “Tar / FELLER IS Aue sOYS... THIS FELLER CAN BEAT AWONE TO THE ORAW.! IT THE BEAURA is! | TO THE DRAW. Raw Thar ) mane fany MORE, iiscHIBP WE'VE GOTTA SHOW THEM FARMERS THAT US CATTLEMEN MEAN BUSINESS! ONE OF THEM FARMERS (3 OUT THERE ON THE STREET AMONGST THE PEOPLE | HE'S A SOUTHERNER AND_I WANT YOU TO GUN nM, WILSON,,. THATS ALL! ai SEE THE PEOPLE Syly how can T Possialy RECOGNIZE THE SOUTHERNER | Ziv SIMPLE / a CAREFULLY, YOU GANHEAD!, iWsuuT Him START.A FIGHT ‘GUN HIM WILSON... THATS ALL! TF YOU LOOK Wil NOTICE THAT HIS LEFT INDEX FINGERNAIL Is SLIGHTLY SPLIT (0 YOU REALIZE IT iS Grammanicauly INCORRECT TO USE ) THE TeRM *yOu- ALL! } IN PLACE OF THE Haw! 2 BOY fave oT 601 AN, ps" 1EYHE SHOT JoyING! /s0 Fast ne HAS RAVE GUNNED A Cs ys TRNOW 100 GAN BEAT ANYONE TO THE DRAW. HUH, SANE We HAVE UTMOST CONFIDENCE Te idee oes Mie Hie ante vot Wiki WIN AND YOu WILL BE VICTORIOUS: AND GE THE WINNERSANE'S COMIN" INTO) NAH... AS LONG AS. 1 J) [ Ho, Box. THE TENSION |S MOUNTING! now T.CAN TELL SANEIS COMING CLOSER HERE BY THE SOUND OF THE BACKGROUND COMES MUSIC! THE QUESTION IS, CAN SANE BE BEATEN TO THE Draw A ‘BY WILSON... THAT'S ALL! 4 be. cin ranrens age Pace To | (7, reFoac JeateLy ue coBRAS..-a pear. Y |( Chatcence wore f IE ROOM. SLOWLY, THE SPOREN . RTuaL Sevoge Te “Sean Beon® ano A." ncn. | AAG! FINGERS + HORRIBLE INSULT SLITHERS 3 it PAST SANE'S LIPS ge FINS AWREADY! & AND) PROVE : ad moter Qwitson Wears a oy “SANE 15 NOT DRAWING GUN UW PRESCRIBED OFFICIAL GUN- FIGHTERS MANMER!.. SANE'S FINGERTIPS ARE THREE - QUARTERS OF INCH FROM GUN: BUTT... OFFICIAL RULES SAY FINGERTIPS CaN BE CLOSER THAN ONE AND ONE- EIGHTH INCHES!7 cor rue Vp) [ van’, Y..cor: xr e Now, ¥ WRONG phe OG: HAH! NOW B wison’ Y co-puan "AND NOW, WITH THE, THATS ALL!) 17] SANE BEAT ) DEATH OF WILSON, Cum TO THE / THATS ALL FOR US DRAW.) —“CATTLEMEN, FOR WILSON SyMEOUZED US BADMEN Witt THE DEFEAT OF HIM, THE FARMERS WILL LIVE UNMOLESTED BY US AND Tis| ‘STORY ENDS HAPPILY EVER AFTER! T yaar ve cows Aco OFF NTS AO ve sneer OSK! ne musrte Beth gr wwii Guay. Me wa his Serr acii's HANGING AG IFFEN eltte te te Soe! son, PLEASE SANE, SANE SITTIN! NI DOWN, SANE. AND WELL Z wg BE GLUED TO THE SADDLE wit My, ARM GLUED /; Tomy “| EY [knew you couL> i VE NE! NEW YOU ‘ONLY THINK OF THESE| WERE'A GUNFGHTER’....OURE \TENDER HOR: NOT GOING ARE YOU SANEr THE SADDLE SANE! 5a SIN << PICKIN" NANOS SANE. SO SOON SLEAVIN SANE! 1 CANT PUL IF YOU'RE GLUED TO \ Deaw WAS THAT I SECRETLY PUT 1 GOTTA 6O. NGw JOEY Boy! . IN LEAVIN’ Z CaN BOY, WHC ARE. “GETOFFEN” / EER YER COTTEN- WA SADOLE, IL You Fs AS THAT 15 WHY I MUST GO RIDING: iit THE SUNSET... E CANNOT. DESTROY THE DELIGHTFUL ILLUSIONS OF A LITTLE STaRRY-EYED Boy ESPECIALLY THAT LITTLE PEST! x CANNOT LET Hind KNOW THAT THE. REASON I WAS FASTEST ON THE GLUE _IN THE O1L:CAN THAT WAS USED TO OIL THE GUN OF WILSON THATS ALL! ..GOL-OURNED| GLUES” LEAKED ON EVERYTHING!CLOAK AND DAGGER DEPT.: And now, chapter THIRTY-FIVE in the fantastic adven. tures of SECRET UNDER-MANHOLE-COVER AGENT FIVE FINGERS JONES! As you remember Jones he was scroung- ing around the Gremlin disguised as a spy— or was he spying around the Gremlin dis- guised as a scrounge? Any how when we last left Jones, he was being approached by Floppova Movova, luscious blond spy queen of the secret police. At this point Jones left, and so, on to Chapter 35 of OPERATION UNDER-THE-GROUND “Jones twitches his cardboard mustache at Floppova Movova. She hauls him into a bar and orders some vodka. Then he makes a big mistake. He tries to outdrink Floppova and the next minute what does he do? .. . You guessed it! . . . Floppova! Instantly. « BVD whizzes into view and drags Jones away for STATEMENT OF THE_OWNERSHIP, MANAGE: OF AUGUST 20, 1912, AS AMENDED BY THE. AC *T_AND CIRCULATION, REQUIRE (OF 'MARGH 5, 1968, AND JULY 2 196 (Title 8 United States Cove drunken drinking. Floppova follows, trying in vain to tell the BVD’s in short . . . (or shorts, however you prefer) that she was about to prove Jones a spy. Jones is carted through the Gremlin gates . . Lavrenti Buried, Chief of Police. Buried wears red flannel under- wear to denote his high rank in the BVD's. The BVD's tell Buried about Jone's Floppova and Floppova's Jones! into the office of ‘Take him to the torture chamber.”, says Buried!” I haven't heard a human scream for a whole minute now. . Well, now! Will Buried and his BVD's subject Jones to some horrible torture? Will the next chapter reveal the escape of Jones from Buried of the BVDs? Or will Jones be Buried IN his BVDs? Tune in next month at this same time for chapter 4, when we will introduce a new character called Mr. Ground who backs into an electric fan and has to go to the hospital. Yes—tune in to Chapter 4 of OPERATION UNDER GROUND. iY THE AGT OF CONGRESS Sesion 288) of MAD published Monthly st New York X.Y. far October 183 7. That the names and addresses of the publisher, editor, managing editor, and business managers Publisher, Educational Comies Inc., 225 Lafayette St., New York 12, N. Y., Editor, Harvey Kurtzman, 225 Lafayette St., New York 12, N. Y., Managing Editor, William M, Gaines, 325 Lafayette St., New York 12, N. ¥.; Business manager, Frank D. Lee, 225 Lafayette St., New York 12, N. Y. ‘2, That the owner is: (If owned by a corporation, its name and address must be stated and also immedi- ately thereunder the names and addresses of stockholders owning or holding one percent or more of total ‘Amount of stock, If not owned by a corporation the names and addresses of the individual owners must be given. If owned by a firm, company, or other unincorporated concern, its name and address, ag well as those of each individual member, must be given.) Educational Comics Inc. 225 Lafayette St., New York 12, N.Y. Wim. M. Gaines, 225 Lafayette St, New York 12, N. Y. J. K. Gaines, $25 Lafayette St., New York 12, N. Y. V.E, MacAdie, 225 Lafayette St., New York 18, N. ¥. 3, That the known bondholders, mortgages, and other security holders owning or holding one percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages, or other securities are: (If there are none, so state.) None. ‘4. Paragraphs 2 and 8 include, in cases where the stockholder or security holder appears upon the books ot the company as trustee or in any other fiduciary relation, the name of the person or corporation for whom ‘such trustee is acting; also the statements in the two paragraphs show the ‘full knowledge and belief ‘48 to the circumstances and conditions under which stockholders and security holders who do not appear upon the books of the company as trustees, hold stock and securities in a eapacity other than that of a bona fide ‘3. The average number of copies of each issue of this publication sold or distributed, through the mails or otherwise, to paid subseribers during the 12 months preceding the date shown above was: (This informa tion is required from daily, weekly, semiweekly, and triweekly newspapers only.) (Signed) FRANK D. LEE, Business Manager. Sworn to and subseribed before me this 28rd day of September, 1953. [SEAL] Ettore De Stefano, Notary Public. (My commission expires March 30, 1954.)FSS YOU, T00, CAN MEET NEW FRIENDS. 7 JOIN THE €.C. FAN-ADDICT CLUB! aon. YOUR MEMBERSHI) MEMORIES FOpAY ENED A Ven COLOR 7¥2 X 10 ¥2 ee ITIFICATE, A STURDY WALLET ‘A SNAZZY EMBROIDERED SHOULDER Pan, AND A STUNNING ANTIQUE” BF BRONZE PINGH BAS RELIEF PIN. Se es se seeceens For AN /NDIVIDUAL MEMBERSHIP, FILL OUT § ROOM “106 and THE COUPON AND SEND IT IN, TOGETHER WITH § 228 LAFAYETTE STREET 25¢. IF me OR, one ‘OF YOU WISH TO JOIN NEW YORK, 12, N. baen AS AN AUTHORIZED CHAPTER, ENCLOSE I want the: EACH MEMBERS NAME AND ADDRESS ALONG _ data the the he ki fort WITH 25¢ FOR BACH NAME, AND INDICATE fer eag friends ine tet meet eli THE NAME) OF THE ELECTED CHAPTER a in-addict! Im mad PRESIDENT, WE WILL NOTIFY EACH, PRESIDENT OF HIS CHAPTER NUMBER, EACH MEMBER, CHAPTER OR INDIVIDUAL, WILL RECEIVE HIS KIT D/RECTLY... BY RETURN MAIL?Dear Eaitore, am shocked at the suggestion of some ol your other readers that you put out a monthly Mad, Please! Pity ‘my poor bank account -Clare Gottiried—Long Island, Now York hheh! No mercy for your money-belis from us! With this issue, Mad goes monthly. —ed. Thave enjoyed many of your E.C. mags, but then along came Mad and wrecked my whole opinion of your company. I think all Mad comics should be burned dnd the ashes dropped into the ocean. It is a very silly, nno-count book, but don't be injured too much because fof my opinion. You see I work for your competitors — Disgustingly yours—LS./M.F-T. T don't understand why ome people dont like Mad. 1 work at night and when I get home I want to read something restful to acitle my nerves. Reading ‘Mad is just like talking to my next door neighbors.— Heltie Chesney—Grave 3, Plot 35, Old Franklinton Cometery, Columbus, Ohio~P.S, I would like to con- tact good, red-blooded American boys. Any living in the vicinity should drop down some evening, (Those with © type, RH negative are especially welcome.) Meine lieben Herren In eurem letzom magazine sie haben shvienbunt falsch geschrieben. Es ist nicht shvienhunt sondern schweinebund. Ich hoffe ihr achreibt os nicht mehr falsch in der Zukunft-—Manfred Waechter—Woodside Long Island Tam 10 years old, « Junior at MIT, and deem Mad to be the most gliosmuuk, the most raveningly ls-chaa, sroummp publication ever produced on Terra, I am an| alert, amiable, personable, likeable, tidy, neat, orderly, courteous, clean-living, 100% green-blooded Venusian kid, and all I got to say ia: Your old lady sucks chicken guts!—Melvin Talipida—Woolworth, Tenn, Please tell me what in the world "Furshlugginer”’ means.— Larry E, Lengle EMF.N.—c/o FP.O., New| ‘York, New York GRIPE DEPARTMENT: I've got glubbins of the| glibbing. I'm a casket case. I'm living in @ Mad world'| Wottamigoingtodo? Up until yesterday, I was a sweet, innocent, woolly lamb. I nibbled my own litle patch of ‘greens. I ventured not, I wanted not. But tall changed, Some character came into my Inner Sanctum and thrust can (ugh!) Comic Book on my heretofore unblemished| ‘desk. (For the record’ I dont read em!) 1 glared, 1 sneered, I was aloof. Then I made my first mistake: picked it up. It was Mad! My second mistake followed amy first: I read it. My third mistake followed the first two (and this one cost me money): | gubscribed. Not only am I leaving myself open to MADness, but I'm ‘wanting a shoulder patch for my strapless olfice suits, Ym a FAN-ADDICT!—Gwynne DeCoverly — Chicago, inois Finally your completely untalented and unorig- inal rivals have come out with imitations of Mad. One of the largest comic houses came out with two Mad imitations, both monthly, with seven inside pages of paid ads to your one, although the mage have the same amount of pages. Another company came out with an equally sad imitation, in 3-D yet, at two-bits a throw. These are probably just the beginning of @ long line of imitations yet to come. There oughta be a law! 4 Spiegel—Troy, New York ‘Santa Monica, Californic: Matie Severin, our colorist, is one of the unsung hero- ines down here at E.C., and some day we intend to devote « page to describing her efforts, Let it eutfice to say here that the talented Marie has been and is re- sponsible for all the color you see in the whole line of E.C. publications, and you'll excuse us for being slightly prejudiced, but we think that our Marie is the best ‘comic book colorist in the U.S.A.—ed. Belore going into the commercials... be advised there is a two page feature about E.C. Publisher and Managing Editor Bill Gaines in the first issue of a new “vest-pocket” size magazine called TOPS, dated March, 1954... and acheduled to hit the stands around the end of January, Feature includes Bill's picture ... and a few panel reproductions from Shock SuspenStories. (Of considerably more interest is the center spread of many, many beautiful gals!) Second issue of PANIC is on the stands! Good try! (Sub coupon on preceding page!) Fan-Addict Club] ‘membership about ten thousand at this writing. (De- {ails on inside front cover!) Subscription to this rag fone buck for 8 issues! Address for comments, sub] orders, otc Mad Editors Room 708, Dept. 10 225 Lalayette St. NY.C.12POETRY DEPT: THERE |S A FAMOUS POEM WHOSE NAME IS USED NO MORE/.. YOU'VE HEARD OF IT BY TITLE IT REALLY NEVER WORE (... AND IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD.-WELL,KID, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW “THE SCORE!)..AS TIME HAS PASSED, THE NEWER NAME HAS SUBSTITUTED FOR,.7HE FACE UPON THE BARROOM FLOOR FOR... “TWAS A BALMY SUMMER EVENING, and a goodly crowd was there. a Which well-nigh filled Joes barroom on the comer, of the square, 5 And as songs and witty stories came through & the open door A vagabond crept slowly in and posed upon the Floor,» i aad “Where did it come from?" someone said: has blown it in." : “What does it want 2" another cried. "Some whisky, ran Onin ge H oe y (ne ( 7This badinage the poor wretch took with stoical "Come, boys, I know there's kindly hearts among so good a crowd — To be in such good company would make a deacon d what I want-Im out of" gh as though you thought this knows pocket never held a sou und, , you When I had cash to treat the gang, this hand cd as well, my was never slow. ‘ “There, thanks; that's braced me nicely; God bless you “ive you a song? No, I ie and all ae"Say!Give me another whisky, and I'll tell “That L was ever a decent man not one of you what Lil do— . . would thinks Ti tell you #flmny story, and a fact, I promise But I was, some four or five years back. Say, give Ke 8 aitother drink “Fill her up, Joe, I want to put some lif into my “Five fingers — there, that's the scheme— and Frame— corking whisky, too. Such little drinks, toa bum like me, are miserably I, here's luck, Boys; and, landlord, my best Sipe a regards to you = |. | f A Sma TS Go ‘ulti eco “Youve treated me pretty kindly, and Id like to “As Itold you, once I was a man, with muscle, tell you how frame and health, 2 before you And, but fora blunder, ought to have made considerable wealth 56 6, Se if you I came to be the dirty sot you"L was a painter— not one that daubed on bricks "I worked hard), at my canvas and was bidding arid wood ris But an artist, and, for my age, was vated For gradually I saw the star of fame pretty go vefore my eyes ME Ss T made a picture, perhaps the ‘Chase of Fames funny part — ow gy © It brought me fifteen hundred pounds and «| With eyes that petrified my brainvand sunk @ : ° added €0 my name ee). into'my heart. . 4 Pe San aN led ‘And then L met a w “Why don't you laugh? 'Tis funy that the vagabond “But ‘twas so, and for a month or two, her you see smiles were freely given, Could ever love 2 woman and expect her love — And when her owing lips touched mine it for me; carried me to heaven“Did ever you see a woman for whom your soul “With eyes that would beat the Koh-i-noor, and youd give . . & wealth of chestnut hair? With a form like Milo Venus, too beautiful to If 0, twas she, for there never was another al? sofair. o@ ae "I was working on a portrait, one afternoon ‘And Madeline admired &, and much to my > in May, surprise, OF a fair-haired boy, a friend of mine, who Said that shed like to know the man that lived across the way had such dreamy eyes. Ik didn't take long to know him, and before And, eve a year of misery had passed above h had flown waty heal My friend had stolen my darling, and L The jewel I had treasured so had tarnished, was left alone; and was dead.“That's why I took to drink, boys. Why, I never “Why, what's. the matter, friend? There's a teardrop Baw you smile, in your eye, T thought youd be amused, and laughing all Come, laugh like me; ‘tis only babes and women the while y hat should Diya: Bet "Say, boys, i yousive-meSust another whisky, Lirbe glad, mark the And I'll otfaw right here a pictaye of the face You shall see the lovely Ma L// that drove me mad barroom floor." he placed another lock upon the lapely head, riek, lie leaped and Fell thie picture ~ dead egan 2 that well might buy the soul of any man. ,[RUNS AROUND IN VERY TIGHT-FITTING TIGHTS! 'HEROME WORSHIP DEPT.: THIS STORY 1S THE USUAL SUPER TYPE STORY/... MAIN CHARACTER HAS SUPERHUMAN POWERS, BOYS, CAUSE THIS CHARACTER IN TIGHT-FITTI S ney! Jo THE RUSH OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!.. THE WOMAN WONDER 15 1N DANA BANANA, WHO IS IN REALITY TE WO- ‘AND STEVE apoRe, RIGHT!... YOu HAVE HEARD OF THE WOMAN WONDER’S GREAT BEAUTY AND YOU ARE RUNNING INTO TOWN 70 GET A GLIMPSE OF HER LOVELY PERSONAGE? “AREST/ WHEN YOU MEIN YOUR ME, JancTHer SAME OLD STUFF, YOU SAY = DULL, YOU SAY?... DON'T GO ‘WAY, TIGHTS ISA WOMAN! AND WE CALL HER THE... HEARD OF THE WOMAN WONDERS GREAT POWER AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TOWN 70 FIND A SAFER PLACE FOR US... LIKE SING- ‘SING OR DEVIL'S ISLAND... SG WHEN YOU HARD IN SINEWY, HAIRY, MUSCULAR ARMS,..1.1..0.. Ji I. BREAKOWCH, DEAREST!.. Now YOu DID IT! YOU CRUSHED MME SO HARD IN <\ GIVE ME ANOTHER, YOUR STRONG MUSCULAR ARMS. Kiss 400K... MY PEANUT BRITILE, HERE IN THE POCKET ON THE SIDE OF MY CHEST, BROKE! NERE ALL ONLY PEANUT BRITTUE I GOT IN THAT SOMETHING BROKE. HERE. (IN THE SIDE OF MY CHEST... SOME- SOMETHING B-B-BROK SWEETHEART? = (CW WAIT! HERE'S A POST-CARD FOR YOU IN MY POCKET THAT T PICKED UP IN THE 9 MAIL ROOM, SWEETHEART / milf f “ “ot at Bar um Pyne Mabel “pet Gare Fie Wer Be [MERCIFUL MINERVA, 17'S FROM NIVLEM! ‘HOPPING HERA, A POST-CARD FROM MIVLEM! ZUEFERIN” ZEUS FROM THE GREAT NIVLEM 1, WRONG! ING! ciance nie my WOMAN _) “| WONDER COSTUME a ) THEN... YOU SHALL STAY WITH ME! S: SWEETHEART! peal”: [OH THAT STEVE ADORE IS A RASCAL! NOW. WHERE SHALL T CHANGE. INTO my WOMAN WCNDER COSTUME? HAH! HERE'S A CONVENIENT CAN'T A PERSON CHANGE INTO” 4 suPeRDUPER- COSTUME INA MAN'S IN CONVENIENT Prone )1nat PHONE! Boorn wirhour\"scor BEING INTERRUPTED? ) 1 BETTERFA, STEVE! THERE SOU ARE MY WOMAN WONDER COSTUME/. HARD TIME FINDING A PRIVATE PLACE TO CHANGE! FOUND A PRIVATE. PLACE TO CHANGE / I INSIDE MY PRIVATE ROBOT PLANE INTO MY WOMAN WONDER COSTUME! TL FINALLY CHANGED i TEA, Tatar concer Yrow usten! 2 INSIOE My GLA: FANT YOU. TO ‘ROBOT PLANET FASS Ja no THE PLANE y TH ME... AND ONE ] wine you" sHour ={ cememeer... you ‘SHOULDN'T SLAM THE DOOR! sLyvaHizams| “NOD 1HENOML ‘230NOM 3334 3534 eWoM 0 a0uLNviae (MS NOW FINALLY my _ W STEVE! STEVE’ WHAT CRAZY MIXED-UP MIND 1S WN WONDER.’ WOMAN _\ Ni WONDER! STOP THE PLANE, \ SILL SWEETHEART, BECAUSE I” ) ici BACK IN ‘ON TH E Oe THe ROBOT PLANE J SHOULDN'T SLAM LOOKING INS ye THE DOOR! r ‘OUTSUI HERE AND YOU -(OH THAT RASCAILY sTevE ADoRE/T] [—rruay Yt Ler V..1 OPEN) seems TELL Him TO COME BACK IN Gre me Bown “THe 7O ME HE LISTEN? NO! HE KEEPS ON GONS.| [GLASS THE GLASS 1 FOR ‘STRAIGHT GOWN! JUST LET ME GET MY MUSCULAR ARMS ON HIN! MUST BE KO-NEE ISLAND!) ar BY PLUTO! BY MICKEY MOUSE’ THERE'S NOTHING ON THIS ISLAND BUT THAT CAVE UP AMEAD!...E WONDER | | FROM NIVLEM! IE I CAN GET ROOM AND BOARD IN THAT CAVE! “T STEVE FALL! THE PLANE /... THE BOUBT IT THOUGH! T DONT SEE ANY WOOD ON» ONT HAVE BOARC! POLITICAL SITUATION By NEPTINE'S WE wart monstrous TRICENT AND. PLOT ARE YOU UP TO? MERICAN CONTINENT EARTH OFF IT'S ORBIT BY JUPITER'S & e Wee! You. Wonca Tee AND SEND 7 EPNNING ARE NIVLEM, le With 9 HYOROGEN Bones) xo! INO THE NO POUBT. weWE GOT A MUCH) BuT you woman | [By HERA! By WMA? LUCKILY J HAVE WONDER, ARE THE | | my SPECIAL BRACELETS MADE OF ONLY BARRIER IN THE WAY OF OUR . PLaNs!.. SO T BROUGHT YOU HERE! r aN THE HARDEST SUBSTANCE KNOWN WITH WHICH 2 QUICKLY CATCH AND ‘BOUNCE AWAY THE BULLETS! MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE oNTILIT cH BULLETS. SETTING MAKES = KNOCKED OVER OF SHATTERING |/ MORE YOUR WRISTS! Y WOMAN WONDER! I BOW TO yOu! 7 GE AWAY THESE RID% Lous BRACELETS: )\ HAIR ON. YOUR FURSHLUGGINER, HEAD![BY NEPTUNE'S WATER-WIN THERES ONLY BY QUIETLY VIBRATING MY Al IP PLENTY POWERFUL VIBRATION: Tsaw visearions ).'Dexe wuz REAUSTIC PLASTIC LASSOO =. 3 SUBSTITUTED! a a ATBY NEPTUNE'S BEACH LITTER BASKETS... MY -ECIAL BRACELETS ARE GONE!... MY” IMY: LASSOO IS GONE!.‘AND TAN TOO WEAK TC VIBRATE!” WAIT? I'VE STK GOT My. THOUGHT CONTROL TO CALL MY ‘ROBOT: PLANE! WAIT! WHAT AM I DOING? 1 FORGOT... WHEN I SLAMMED THE GLASS O i } NIVLEM, 2 AM HELPLESS! ALL I HAVE LEFT TO SAVE My LIFE WITH 15 MY FEMININE. CHARM, SEAUTY/...0 LIFT MY TEARFUL TO YOU IN SUPPLICATION. (N WONDER’ NOW THAT YOUR FACE. |S UFTED To ME, SO. TENDERLY IN TEARFUL FOR YEARS I HAVE WATCHED YOu BEAT ME AT SWIMMING... KNOCK ME DOWN AT BOXING. (AP ME AT ROWER DERBY RACING AND PIN ME iN, THUMB: WRESTLING! NOW, I Ger EVENS. /, I SEND 1M THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU BELONG, SWEETHEART! _ | STEVE APORE, WHO IS IN REALITY NIVLEM... AND IANA ANANA...ARE NOW MARRIED! DIANA BANANA (SNOW CONTENT