RELATIONSHIP TALK

Good morning everyone. This morning I

will be telling you some crucial things about
relationship and all you need to know about it.
Perhaps you’ve been among those who think
am too spirikoko. No problem, well said but
believe me a lot of things I know you may not
know them yet. Today I will be telling you
reality.

Let me address this first; See, listen, you

can’t be praying to marry a virgin when you
yourself you are not. You can’t reap where you
didn’t sow. It is most honourable both to God
and yourself to keep yourself pure. You want
to reap where you didn’t sow right? It is not
possible. Please who do you expect to marry
that sister you defiled? Or you didn’t know it
was a sin? When you know you can’t marry
her, then why sleep with her? Since you’ve
both repented and God has forgiven you,
please my brother go and marry her and stop
praying useless prayer again. You are free to
pray for a life partner, that’s if she’s not saved
yet.

My brother there are some certain

mistakes you must not make at all. I remember
a mistake I made but thank God for God’s
intervention because He saw my sincerity even
though I allow my flesh lead me into such a
mess, but believe me, it was not easy because I
cried and cried because of my reproach.

Firstly, on whom to marry, you must have

a constant fellowship with God before you
even think of going into a relationship. What
do I mean by that. You can’t claim a
relationship with an earthly father you’re not
related to. The same thing with God, you must
know Him and He must know you too. What
am saying is that you must be born again and
your relationship with God must be steadfast
and consistent. In the course of your constant
fellowship with God you will be able to
understand different ways God communicates
to you because you are already used to Him.

Purpose discovery is another aspect in

knowing whom to marry. For example, you are
a woman that is business oriented and you
now want to marry someone who has a
ministerial calling. No matter what, both of you
can never cope in that marriage and rather
than enjoy it, it will all be struggle and
endurance. What am saying is that marry
someone whose purpose align with yours.
Please discover purpose first before talking
about relationship that will eventually leads to
marriage.

As we all know God speaks to us through

diverse ways either through dreams, vision,
Scripture, inward intuition, Inward love, etc
Just identify how best God speaks to you, but
most importantly you need faith to believe
every promise of God. I remember a brother
who saw a dream about a sister sometimes
ago. Sincerely, it was not as if he was praying
about marriage. To him he thought it is just a
product of his flesh and he started casting and
binding but thank God who lead me to him
about that area even though I didn’t know God
had been speaking to him before that. Yours
might not be dream or vision, it might just be
inward love for the person, you discover you
just develop love towards the person. Stop
binding and casting and if after you’ve bind
and cast the love still remains there. It is not
your flesh, it is God.
NOTE: Love is something that comes from
within and it is practical while Lust is just a
craving that last for a moment.
 My Sister listen if after you’ve prayed
concerning whom to marry. Marry someone
who has PASSION for you. What do I mean by
passion? Let me cite this example: I remember
sometimes ago, because of my passion for God
and for the lost. I was so sick, I mean seriously
sick and I happened to have an assignment the
day following. I have to go to school with my
roommate despite my condition just to get it
done. I was not able to because of my
condition, I took some rest in the process, all of
a sudden I just woke up and told my roommate
am coming. Before you know it, I went to three
different lecture theatres to preach that night,
I couldn’t make it to the fourth one because I
was seriously weak. Imagine despite the
condition I found myself I still made it a
necessity to preach the gospel. It is called
PASSION. Till date that passion is still there.
Please marry someone who has PASSION for
you. Someone who has passion for you will be
ready to do anything for your sake. Passion
grows into love and love is sacrificial. Love is
practical. Someone who truly loves you will be
ready and willing to do anything for your sake.

When a brother approach you and tell you

God said you are my wife. Please don’t be too
quick to believe him. Well, am not saying he
may be wrong but unfortunately, we see a lot
of things this days. For instance, you hear some
brothers saying, if not for God said, I don’t
think I will marry you. Please run away from
such a person because such a brother can
never value you. You deserve more than that.
Nobody is meant to manage you if you truly
know your worth. The Scripture says he that
finds a wife find a good thing and obtain favour
from the Lord. My sister, you are precious
before God, so please don’t settle for the less.
Peradventure, you meet someone with such
idealogy, don’t stress yourself too much just
ask him why he wanted to marry you. Ask him
why is it that you’re the only person he choose
to spend the rest of his life with despite all the
sisters he knows. If he is able to provide some
answers, then you’re good to go or pray about
it but if not please think twice. Brothers, you
don’t need to ask her out by saying God said
and the likes. Just go straight to the point and
tell her your intentions towards her. For
example, you can say: I LOVE YOU, I WANT
YOU TO MARRY ME? Then go ahead and
admire those things that attracted you to her.
E.g, I appreciate your dressing, I love your
physique, your smiles mean a lot to me, I
admire your hair, You are the best lady have
seen so far, I can’t just sleep without you,
Some of her character that attracts you, tell
her about them, I want you to know that I
sincerely love you and from the depth of my
heart I love you so much, tell her you are not
complete without her, tell her you can’t fulfil
your God ordained purpose without her, etc.
Then you can also tell her how you’re being led
to her.
Note: God will never choose a partner for you.
He will only lead and guide you in the area of
choice and the rest is up to you whether to
accept it or not.
Have also discovered this in Christianity though
very common in the world. Please no matter
whom God is leading you too. Please learn to
build trust in your partner especially brothers.
Don’t be a monitoring spirit monitoring your
partner here and there. Let her feel secure
with you.

After you’re sure and satisfied with your

acclaimed leading. Another thing is, open your
eyes. Yes, I mean shine your eyes very well.
Take your time to study and know the person
very well to know if you can cope with him/her
or not. Study their life very closely and make
sure it is someone you can cope with his/her
lifestyle. Please pray very well o at the same
time watch. For instance, I personally, there
are some sisters I can’t even accept even if
they are born again, while because I really
place more priority on dressing and if the way
you dress or I see that you are not ready to
change in the area of dressing. I can never
accept it is God because your dressing won’t
just give me peace of mind. That’s my nature.
Yours might not be so anyway.

Another thing is, my brother please study

her character. Please am begging you because
this is the most important area. No matter
what, some characters can never be hidden.
Please and please don’t neglect those warning
sign you may notice. My Sisters, be that
Proverbs 31 type of woman. Be a woman with
awesome character. Please work more on your
character because your character is your
marriage. Also, my sister, that brother you are
thinking he is the one. Please take time to
study his attitude. I remember personally, even
though sisters love me so much but one thing
was lacking, the word of my mouth are like
sword, if you misbehave and I say them to you.
Sincerely, it can break you down and make you
weep for days. But, you know what, I had to
work on myself and I can boldly say am not
who I used to be before.

My brothers, we need to stop this. Please if

you know you won’t marry her or God is not
leading you to her, please never allow any
emotional attachment with her. What am
saying is make sure you define your friendship
to avoid her mind from going far. Personally,
that’s what I do. Please save someone’s child
from heartbreak because the fact is the heart
of a woman is very fragile.
 It is advisable you pray to know the mind
of God concerning your marital life. Stop saying
you are too young to pray. I have seen a lot
which I can start telling you. Pray at the right
time so that you won’t be among those that
will be impatience to pray when they are now
ripe for marriage. Also, make sure you are
getting marry to your friend. Am not saying
you must have known him/her from childhood.
Don’t marry someone that will be like a
commander to you. Make sure you are both
friendly to each other and he/she can cope
with your weaknesses and help you without
hurting you.

Above all, there are three bases to

checkmate if so so person is the will of God for
you.
(a) Peace of mind: After you’ve prayed about
it, do you have the peace of mind to settle with
such a person. If not please don’t marry him or
her.
(b) Love: Do you really love the person. Please
don’t say YES if you don’t develop any love for
him or her. Make sure it is someone you truly
love.
(c) Patience: The will of God is tested with
patience because God will never rush things.
Before taking that relationship into the next
level or before saying, I DO, please give it time.

Perhaps, you need advice on any issues as

touching relationship or you are confused in
your choice of a life partner and you need
guidance. Please feel free to chat with me.
Thanks for reading through.

Yours in Christ,
Lukman Abiodun Abdulkareem.