NLP Self Mastery

12 Book Mega Bundle

 
1. NLP: The 10 Most Powerful Tools to Re-
Program Your Behavior and Maximize Your
Potential
 
2. NLP: Persuasive Language Hacks: Instant
Social Influence With Subliminal Thought
Control and Neuro Linguistic Programming
 
3. NLP: Frame Control: Using The Mindset Of
Power To Get What You Want In Relationships,
Business & Life
 
4. NLP: Anxiety: Reprogram Your Brain to
Eliminate Stress, Fear and Social Anxiety
5. NLP: Depression: Techniques for Taking
Control and Increasing Happiness with Neuro
Linguistic Programming
 
6. NLP: Stop Dieting: Reprogram Your Eating
Habits for Permanent, Effortless Weight Loss
 
7. How to Analyze People: Analyze Anyone
Instantly: The Best Techniques to Read People
like a Book for Increased Influence and Instant
Social Leverage
  
8. How to Talk to Anyone: 21 Tips for Instant
Rapport
 
9. Memory Squared: Why Maximizing Your
Capacity for Information Can Skyrocket Your
Productivity, Success and Happiness
 
10. FOCUS: Hack Your Productivity for Massive
Success
 
11. Speed Reading: Intelligent Reading Hacks
for Increasing Speed and Improving
Comprehension
 
12. The Persuasion Equation: Influence Others
With the Science of Persuasive Psychology
  

 
© Copyright 2018 Modern Psychology Publishing
 
 
Thank you and congratulations for picking up
the NLP Self Mastery 12 Book Mega Bundle!
 
You are on your way to increased happiness, success, and
healthier relationships through these easy to learn but
extremely powerful NLP techniques! After reading this book,
I’m sure you will agree that NLP is an amazing tool that can
help you really get in touch with your psychology and help to
maximize your potential.
 
By purchasing this book, you have already shown that you
are willing to take action and do what it takes to build an
extraordinary life.
 
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the latest news to help guide you on your journey of
mastering your psychology!
 
Throughout this book, you will find guided exercises as well
as journal pages to record your progress. We recommend
that you continue to take action and practice the exercises,
to guarantee the best results. Get excited, because you are
about to learn some extremely powerful NLP techniques!
 
This book contains 12 manuscripts to help you master your
psychology:
✔ NLP: Neuro Linguistic Programming: The 10 Most Powerful Tools to Re-Program
Your Behavior and Maximize Your Potential
✔ NLP: Persuasive Language Hacks: Instant Social Influence With Subliminal
Thought Control and Neuro Linguistic Programming
✔ NLP: Frame Control: Using the Mindset of Power To Get What You Want In
Relationships, Business & Life
✔ NLP: Anxiety: Reprogram Your Brain to Eliminate Stress, Fear and Social Anxiety
✔ NLP: Depression: Techniques for Taking Control and Increasing Happiness with
Neuro Linguistic Programming
✔ NLP: Stop Dieting: Reprogram Your Eating Habits for Permanent, Effortless
Weight Loss
✔ How to Analyze People: Analyze Anyone Instantly: The Best Techniques to Read
People like a Book for Increased Influence and Instant Social Leverage
✔ How to Talk to Anyone: 21 Tips for Instant Rapport
✔ Memory Squared: Why Maximizing Your Capacity for Information Can Skyrocket
Your Productivity, Success and Happiness
✔ FOCUS: Hack Your Productivity for Massive Success
✔ Speed Reading: Intelligent Reading Hacks for Increasing Speed and Improving
Comprehension
✔ The Persuasion Equation: Influence Others With the Science of Persuasive
Psychology
 
In this book you will learn:
✔ Core principles of Neuro Linguistic Programming, and how
knowing them can improve your life
✔ Actionable steps you can start taking right now to put
these techniques into practice
✔ How to supercharge your habits, to create success
automatically
✔ How to improve your communication skills and influence
others effectively
 
Let’s get started!
 
© Copyright 2018 by Modern Psychology Publishing -
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NLP: Neuro Linguistic
Programming
 The 10 Most Powerful Tools
to Re-Program Your Behavior
and Maximize Your Potential
Table of Contents
Introduction
Mastering Your Mind: Understanding NLP
What is NLP?
NLP: A Brief History
The Pillars Of NLP: How To Apply The Knowledge In
This Guide

1st NLP Technique: Setting Personal Anchors

The Resource State
Types of NLP Anchors
How to Set Personal Anchors

2nd NLP Technique: Pattern Interruption

How to Practice the Pattern Interrupt Technique

3rd NLP Technique: The Swish Technique

How to Use the Swish NLP Technique

4th NLP Technique: The NLP Framing Technique

How to Use the NLP Framing Technique

5th NLP Technique: Mirroring and Building Rapport

How to Practice the NLP Mirroring Technique
6th NLP Technique: The Fast Phobia Cure NLP
Technique
How to Practice the NLP Dissociation Technique

7th NLP Technique: The Embedded Commands

Technique
How to Use the Embedded Command Technique

8th NLP Technique: The Modeling Technique

How to Use the Modelling Technique

9th Technique: The Empowering Questions Technique

How to Practice the Empowering Questions
Technique

10th Technique: The Future Pacing Technique

How to Practice the Future Pacing Technique
Conclusion
Introduction
If you are experiencing trouble controlling your emotions or
achieving your goals, Neuro-Linguistic Programming may be
what you need. Why is that so? Let me explain; most of the
time, one of the things that hinder your success in life is the
way you handle the challenges and situations that life throws
your way. But the good news is that once you learn NLP, you
learn the essential techniques you need to handle these
situations better and live a happier and more fulfilled life.
In other words, Neuro-Linguistic Programming can help you
develop a clear understanding of how you see yourself and
the world. It uses the words, actions, and your way of
thinking to change how you view life and teaches you
essential techniques you can use to transform your life. Is
that something you would be interested in to create drastic
positive change?

Do often feel bad that you cannot face some problems

objectively even when you know your way of thinking is
biased? Do you sometimes notice that your stereotypes
about people, things and situations cloud your judgment
such that you react in ways you would not ordinarily expect
to react to such situations? If your answer to these and
similar questions is a ‘yes’, you probably have noticed how
limiting this can be in your career, relationships, finances
and other facets of life. All this has to do with how your mind
is hardwired to react to situations, people or things.
It can seem like a helpless situation because of the
automatic responses but the good news is that it is never too
late to change your life. Neuro-linguistic programming can
help you learn all the skills, behaviors, and attitudes you
need to learn to improve your success in life, whether that
success is in your career, your relationships, your business,
finances, and every other aspect of your life.
This book has actionable information about the 10 most
powerful tools that will help you reprogram your behavior
and maximize your potential. The information here will show
you exactly how you can tap into the power of NLP to make
your life less frustrating, and more rewarding.
 
Mastering Your Mind: Understanding
NLP
Before we can discuss the specifics of the different NLP
techniques, let’s start by building an understanding of the
concept of NLP so that you know why it works and how it
works. To use NLP techniques and strategies in your life, you
need to understand what it is:
What is NLP?
As the name implies, neuro-linguistic programming stands
for:
Neuro: Your nervous system
Linguistic: Your verbal and non-verbal communication skills
Programming: Your ability to program/structure your
neurological and linguistic systems to achieve desired
results.
Proponents of NLP believe that how you behave has a certain
structure to it. Therefore, NLP aims to examine this structure
to redefine the way your brain performs and responds to the
information it receives. NLP helps you understand the things
that make you tick. It opens your eyes to how you perceive
the things that happen to you and around you on a daily
basis. When you fully understand these things, you can
handle situations in a better manner, and communicate
more effectively.
Your neurological system is responsible for transmitting all
the information your brain receives from your environment.
In this context, your environment refers to everything
external including all your organs- your ears, your eyes, your
skin, stomach, lungs, and every other part of your body.
Your brain processes the information from all these parts of
your body and transmits them to your brain and vice versa.
For instance, once your brain receives information, it
processes it and decides if it is good or bad news, and then
transmits it to emotions that could be joy, tears, or laughter.
The takeaway here is that your brain determines how you
respond to everything going on around you and how you
communicate with others. Now, imagine being able to
somehow, alter the way your brain handles this information
and force it to react in a certain way. That is the whole logic
behind NLP.
NLP helps to change your personal programming (think of
computer programming: how programmers can change
computer code to get a device or software to perform
specific task or behave in a specific manner). It helps you re-
organize your internal programming so you achieve the
desired results you want.
To frame it in a simpler manner, NLP helps you achieve the
following:
1. Increases Your Chances of Success: Generally, life is
problematic and your day-to-day life whether at work, with
your family or at leisure will be full of challenges. NLP helps
you change how you view these challenges as well as your
outlook on life. It helps you change the way you see life so
that unimportant things stop weighing heavily on, or
bothering you. It gives your life a deeper meaning and helps
you organize your priorities.
It helps you identify your strengths and weaknesses so you
can concentrate on things that can help you become better
and more efficient, which helps you become more
successful.
2. NLP Improves Your Communication Skills: NLP
fosters positive thinking, which makes all your
communications positive. It helps you redefine how you think
and feel, which makes you a better verbal and non-verbal
communicator, which then makes it easier to share your
perspective with others and become.
So in essence, NLP helps you to become better at expressing
yourself.
3. NLP Synchronizes Your Body and Feelings: When
your mind and body are not in harmony, putting your
thoughts and plans into action becomes very difficult.
However, once you start using NLP, you unify your mind,
body, and feelings so you can create a better connection and
work towards achieving your goals.
You now have a better understanding of what NLP is and
what it can do for you. Before we start using it to reprogram
our behavior and maximize our potential, let us delve a bit
deeper into its history:
NLP: A Brief History
John Grinder and Richard Bandler founded NLP in the 197o’s
at the University of Santa Cruz, California. At that time,
Richard Bandler was a (AMIS) Information Sciences &
Mathematics Master’s level student while Dr. John Grinder
was a professor of Linguistics.
They both studied people who they believed to be
exceptional communicators and very good at helping their
clients achieve desired results and necessary change.
Particularly, they were interested in finding how it was
possible for some people to effectively deal with difficult or
sick people, defying the odds where other people have
failed.
Grinder and Bandler chose to study three renowned
psychotherapists- Virginia Satir, the developer of Conjoint
Family Therapy, Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt
psychology, and Milton Erickson, one of the major
contributors to the development of Clinical Hypnotherapy.
They also studied the skills of two linguists- Noam Chomsky
and Alfred Korzybski, as well as social anthropologists
Gregory Bateson and Psychotherapist Paul Watzlawick.
Neuro-Linguistic programming eventually exploded to
include other disciplines and spread to several other
countries. Unfortunately, in the 198o’s, due to some
dissatisfaction that Grinder had about some coding work
they did together known as the ‘classic code,’ Blander and
Grinder had a falling out. This led to a separation that led
Grinder to team up with Judith Delozier to form newer
models later named ‘The New Code.’

Neuro-Linguistic Programming has come a very long way and

many scholars have developed new codes, techniques, and
versions, thus making it easier for ordinary folks to apply it in
their lives to effect real transformation.
Although originally developed for use in the field of
psychotherapy, professionals now apply NLP in all fields
including Doctors, Accountants, Engineers, and every other
profession in the world; from the way it looks, the future of
NLP continues to look bright.
The Pillars Of NLP: How To Apply The
Knowledge In This Guide
To understand how to apply NLP to your personal life, you
have to understand the four pillars of NLP. The four pillars of
NLP are rapport, sensory awareness, outcome thinking,
and behavioral flexibility.
1. Rapport: Rapport refers to how you build and maintain
relationships with yourself and other people. Rapport
teaches you how to say no to requests and things you do not
want while still maintaining a good professional relationship
and friendships with the people whose requests you reject.

2. Sensory Awareness: Another pillar of NLP is sensory

awareness; sensory awareness teaches you how to pay
closer attention to the things going on around you- how to
make better use of the senses of sight, sound, touch,
hearing, smelling, and taste.
3. Outcome Thinking: When you face a challenge, instead
of being stuck, NLP teaches you to focus on what you want
and helps you make decisions that will help you achieve
these things.
4. Behavioral Flexibility: This refers to how you do things
and handle situations. NLP helps you to do things differently.
It gives you flexibility and the ability to change a course of
action when one course of action leads to failure.
Authors Romilla Ready and Kate Burton describe how the
four pillars can translate into your day-to-day life with this
interesting illustration.
Imagine you ordered a new software to help you record all
the names, addresses, phone numbers, and other important
friends and clients’ details. After spending time to purchase
and install the software, you discover the software does not
work because it has a coding bug.
You contact the software company’s customer service
department and they are rude and unhelpful. At this point,
you have to employ your rapport building skills with the
customer service manager so they can listen to your
complaints. You would need to increase your sensory
awareness by listening carefully, controlling your feelings,
and deciding on the most suitable response. You have to
know the outcome you desire by engaging in discussions
with the customer service manager; do you want a refund or
a replacement. Lastly, your behavior needs to be flexible
enough to accept other outcomes if the desired one is
unachievable.
That is how NLP helps you to become a better communicator
and helps you achieve the things that you want without a lot
of stress or frustration.
NLP Presuppositions
NLP presuppositions are basic generalizations or general
beliefs in NLP that can be useful to you when you act as if
they are true.
Some common presuppositions of NLP include:
1. The Map is not the Territory: Alfred Korzybski takes
credit for this statement. He explains that we experience the
world through the human senses of sight, touch, hearing,
taste, and smell, which he refers to as ‘the territory.’ The
experiences you get from these senses then transfer to the
brain where they make an internal representation that he
refers to as ‘the map’.
You create an internal map in your brain; your experiences
shape this map, but another person who has had the same
experiences would never have the same exact internal map
like yours (their perceptions and the way their senses
perceive information may be different). This simply means
that what is outside can never be the same as what is inside
your brain.
If you are a doctor, what pills mean to you may be vastly
different from what they mean to a patient and even a law
enforcement agent. The point is that we all make different
internal representations of the same things depending on our
backgrounds and personal contexts.
To be a better communicator and a generally better person,
you need to learn how to see things from other people’s
eyes- try to understand the internal representations or map
of the person you are trying to communicate with. Rather
than respond negatively to other people’s behavior you may
deem inappropriate, focus on trying to understand why that
person might have behaved that way. This would make you a
happier person who accepts people’s actions and inactions
with greater ease.
2. There is no failure, only feedback: This very
important NLP presupposition will help you, but only if you
can live by it. There is no one person in the world who does
not experience setbacks and failures. It is up to you to
choose whether to allow those setbacks to bring you down or
you want to take lessons from your setbacks and these
lessons as a learning experience that helps you become
better at whatever you failed at the first time when you
decide to try again.
Whenever you fail at anything, rather than give up, always
ask yourself these five questions:
* “What am I trying to achieve?”
* “What have I been able to achieve so far?”
* “What are the things I have learned (feedback)?”
* “How can I use the lessons learned to better my
performance?”
* “How am I going to measure my performance and
success?”
3. The Meaning of the Communication is the Response
it elicits: How the person you are communicating with
perceives the information you are trying to pass across is the
most important thing. No matter how good your intentions
are, your listener interprets information based on how they
receive it.
The onus therefore, rests upon you to pass your messages
across carefully in the way you want your listener to receive
it. Before you start communicating, have a clear
understanding of the desired outcome of the conversation,
and then carefully construct your conversation to elicit the
exact response you want.
4: If What You Are Doing Is Not Working, Do
Something Different: This is yet another presupposition
and a very simple one at that. Do not be fixated on things
that do not work for you, instead, change your tactics.
Determine why what you are doing is not working and what
you can do to get better results.
5: You have all the Resources You Need to Create
Desired Outcomes: Everyone has what it takes to develop,
grow, and become a better version of themselves.
6: People are Much More Than Their Behavior: The fact
that a person is behaving badly does not necessarily mean
he or she is bad. People behave badly when they do not
have the inner resources to behave differently. Most times,
helping them change or improve on these resources would
help them improve their behavior and start behaving better.
7: Body Language is Important: When communicating,
you have to employ the right body language because body
language makes up for 55% of how others receive your
communication.
For the techniques in this book to work for you, you have to
practice them. Most of the techniques listed here are not
instant solutions that are going to work in one day; however,
with consistent practice, your life would improve and you
would get better at what you want to improve.

In the subsequent chapters, we will discuss how to use

different NLP techniques for different goals. We will start with

setting personal anchors.

1st NLP Technique: Setting Personal Anchors

Anchoring focuses on helping you change your state of mind.

It can help you stay calm in the face of danger or trouble,
and can help you relax and behave in a positive way when
people are trying to provoke you.
Anchoring tries to mimic one of Pavlov’s experiments. Pavlov
experimented with dogs and sounded a bell as the dogs
were feeding. Whenever the dogs saw the food and heard
the bells, they salivated in anticipation of the meal. After
some time, Pavlov began to sound the bell without the food
in sight and he noticed that the dogs salivated whenever
they heard the bells even without seeing the food.
Anchors are similar; they stimulate a response in your mind
and help you control your thoughts and emotions. For
instance, rubbing your forehead can be an anchor.
Sometimes, anchors can be involuntary. For instance, a
familiar smell might bring back a memory from your
childhood or a song can trigger a memory of your ex. These
are examples of involuntary anchors that work automatically
without any self-induced trigger.
Establishing anchors involves producing stimuli when you
experience the resourceful state so that the resourceful state
pairs with the anchor. Just like with the dogs that begin
salivating without a meal in sight simply because they heard
a bell, you can establish personal anchors that will trigger a
desired response in you whenever you experience anything.
Activating the anchor refers to the act of producing the
anchor after you have established it in a bid to trigger the
occurrence of the resourceful state.
When you are happy or sad, you are responding to some
anchors in your life. When you are feeling motivated and
confident or otherwise, you are also responding to some
anchors although sometimes, you do not even know what
these anchors are. That is why sometimes, you may be in a
bad mood without knowing why.
The NLP anchoring technique teaches you how to design
personal anchors and use them to produce a desired state of
mind. For instance, if you are in an interview situation and
you are feeling jittery, but you want to be calm, you can use
established anchors to trigger a calm response within
yourself. If someone is annoying you, but you do not want to
lose your temper, you can use anchors to calm yourself
down.
The Resource State
In the last section, we established that we all have the
resources we need to achieve the things we desire. Here, the
resource state refers to memories of the required state. For
instance, if you want to be calm, your resource state here is
a memory of a past time where you were calm and relaxed.
The resource state involves striving to make a previous
experience vivid so it feels as if you are experiencing it
afresh in the present. If you cannot recall a situation where
you have felt that way, you can simply just imagine yourself
in the resource state.
Types of NLP Anchors
There are three different types of anchors:
1. Visual Anchors: Visual anchors involve using the things
you see to provoke a response. For instance, if you want to
feel powerful, you can use your wristwatch as an anchor so
that any time you want to feel powerful, you simply look at
the wristwatch and use it as an anchor; however, the anchor
does not have to be objects- you could use people, symbols,
drawings, or anything physical as an anchor.
2. Auditory Anchors: Auditory anchors involve using
sounds or music as anchors to provoke a response.
3. Kinesthetic Anchors: Touching yourself or imagining
someone touching you is an example of a kinesthetic anchor.
How to Set Personal Anchors
To set anchors:
1. Decide the state you wish to anchor (the response you
want to elicit e.g. Calmness, happiness, feeling powerful,
feeling relaxed, etc.). It is helpful to write down your
intention in your journal, so that you can crystalize exactly
the feeling or emotion you wish to create a trigger for.

2. Choose the anchor you want to use to trigger that state.

You can use a combination of anchors such as visual and
auditory anchors.

3. Close your eyes.

4. Tap into your resource state by recalling a memory
where you previously experienced the state you want to
trigger.
5. As soon as you can vividly recall that experience,
activate the anchor (play the music, touch the parts of your
body you want to use as anchors, or look at the object you
wish to use).

6. Release the anchors as soon as the experience starts to

fade away. It is important to release the anchor immediately
the experience begins to fade so that you do not anchor a
drop in that state rather than the state in itself.
7. Take a break and do something else such as counting
from one to ten.
8. Repeat the process from step 1; this time, make the
memory more vivid and then try to establish the anchor at
the highest point of the experience.
9. Test the anchor to see if the required state occurs. After
you have solidified your process, be sure to record
everything about your process, to make sure that it is
repeatable. What emotions came up during this process?
What memories did you specifically trigger? Did you use
visual or auditory cues? Write down everything.
10. Check the anchor the next day and continuously until
it becomes permanent.
You should always ensure the anchor fires in the same way
every time you want to link to the resourceful experience. If
you cannot get a desired state when you trigger the anchor,
change the anchor to avoid establishing a negative anchor.
 
Pattern interruption is the second NLP technique we shall
discuss.
2nd NLP Technique: Pattern
Interruption
Imagine a situation where you have a favorite route you
drive through each time you are going from home to your
place of work (every day). This driving pattern becomes
repetitive and sometimes, you do not have to place too
much effort and concentration into it because well, you
already know the drill.
It is kind of like autopilot for you and you take out this time
to think of the tasks you need to complete at home, how
your day went, and other things while your subconscious
takes care of everything else.
Suddenly, you hear a loud sound and bam! A large tree has
just fallen and your path is obstructed. You slam the brakes
and the car comes to a screeching halt. For the next few
seconds, you are sitting in your car wondering what just
happened.
Your subconscious is not used to this situation; therefore, it
does not know how to respond. At this point, you have to
step in; your conscious mind has to take control and issues
instructions detailing how to handle the situation. Your
subconscious mind is great at running automatic patterns so
that your conscious mind can handle other activities that
need conscious handling.
When you are trying to alter some patterns, sometimes,
automatic habits, thoughts, emotions, and actions can create
a problem. It is not as if you are not willing to change, but
your subconscious keeps pulling you back, which then cause
you to do the same thing repeatedly.
Well, you have to understand that the subconscious mind is
very poor at decision-making. Only the conscious mind has
the ability to make decisions. As an NLP technique, pattern
interruption forces your subconscious mind into a state
where it waits for information from your conscious mind.
It helps you break habits and embrace new methods and
changes. It helps you re-program your subconscious so that
the subconscious becomes a messenger that receives
instructions from the conscious mind.
How to Practice the Pattern Interrupt
Technique
To practice this NLP technique:
1. Decide on a particular behavior you wish to change. This
has to be something you do automatically without thinking
about it. For instance, eating junk food whenever you are
watching TV could be an example of something you want to
change. Write down in detail in your journal exactly what you
would like to change.

2. Start observing how the pattern runs. At what point do

you start to experience the urge to eat something? At what
point do you decide to get up and walk to the fridge? How do
you make a choice of what to eat from the different available
choices? Record your decision making process in detail in
your journal.
3. Create a pattern interrupt completely alien to the
behavior you wish to change. For instance, when you
experience the urge to eat something, fold some clothes or
instead, drink some water. You need to create a pattern
interrupt entirely different from the usual pattern. This
pattern interrupt has to jolt you just like the tree that fell in
front of your car. Again, write down in detail the new
behavior you are going to implement.
4. Every time you feel the urge to engage in the pattern you
wish to change, use your pattern interrupt to do something
else.
Continue to impose this pattern interrupt and before you
know it, you will eliminate the habit you want to change and
the new habit will replace the old one (as such, the new habit
has to be a positive one). You can use pattern interrupt to
get rid of addictions and any negative behavior you wish to
eliminate from your person. Reflect on the effectiveness of
this technique and how it is influencing your behavior.
The next technique we will discuss is the Swish technique.
3rd NLP Technique: The Swish
Technique
The Swish NLP technique helps you alter how your memories
affect you. It helps you disconnect from powerful negative
thoughts that provoke negative feelings that may negatively
affect you and your life.
You can use the swish NLP technique to manage your
thoughts and feelings especially thoughts and feelings
related to the things happening around you. This NLP
technique helps you disconnect from past thoughts such as
things that irritated you or made you feel embarrassed in the
past, present feelings caused by self-undermining thoughts,
and anxieties about forthcoming or future situations.
For instance, if due to illness or stress, you take a leave from
work and you find yourself worrying about getting back to
work, you have an unwanted negative feeling that in this
case, is worry. Each time you remember you have to walk
into your office when you resume work next week, your
stomach churns and your heart starts racing. This means
that walking into that office is the trigger.
You have checked this feeling to see if there are any rational
reasons for your fear, but there are none because you have
checked with your employers and everything is good. Now,
you do not want to be worried and afraid whenever you think
of walking into your office next week. You want to be
confident and enthusiastic about it.
You can use the Swish technique to replace these feelings
and change them into positive ones.
How to Use the Swish NLP Technique
To use the swish NLP technique:
1. Identify the feeling you want eliminate.
2. Identify the thoughts or images that provoke the
negative feeling.
3. Check if your fears are founded and rational. If they are
simply irrational, move on to the next step.

4. Close your eyes.

5. Create a replacement image in your head. This means
you should identify how you want to start feeling. It means
you should begin to see yourself acting the way you want.
Now, what you want to do is to point your thoughts towards
a fresher and more positive direction. The idea is to re-
program your brain by changing the trigger so you can know
when you should start thinking new thoughts.
6. Think of the trigger image (the negative one) then start
inserting the replacement image in between the trigger
image. In between worrying, start imagining yourself feeling
more confident. Before you begin, write down your
replacement image in as much detail as you can, to help you
solidify your visualization.

7. Allow the replacement image to become bigger and more

vivid so that the trigger image begins a gradual
disappearance.
8. Break the state and open your eyes.
9. Start from step 1 and this time, try to insert the
replacement faster.
10. Repeat the process about 5-7 times.
11. Test it to see what happens when you try to recall the
negative trigger image, you will discover that it becomes
more difficult to bring back the negative feeling.
If, however, the negative trigger continues to manifest, the
trigger may be more powerful than the Swish technique. In
that case, try a stronger technique like the anchoring
technique. Reflect on the results of the Swish technique in
your journal.

In the next chapter, we will discuss the framing technique.

4th NLP Technique: The NLP Framing
Technique
The NLP Framing technique draws upon the idea that how
you perceive everything depends on your point of view.
Framing involves trying to change the meaning you attach to
a thing by trying to change its context or setting.
For instance, a person trying to annoy you can seem funny
so that, rather than becoming angry, you can start laughing
at what the person is doing. The meaning you attach to
events and things happening around you is dependent on
how you frame it.

You can use your responses and behaviors to change the

meaning. Dressing as a skeleton to a Halloween party and
dressing the same way to a burial would cast different
perceptions even though it is the same costume and the
same person wearing it.
NLP reframing helps you change how you see and perceive
things happening around you so you can behave in a
different way. You can get people to see things differently by
reframing events and communication differently to get a
different response. By using this technique, you can keep
calm in the face of fear and maintain your cool when you
should be angry or losing your temper.
How to Use the NLP Framing
Technique
To use this NLP technique:
1. First, identify a behavior you consider negative or
troubling; a behavior or feeling you would like to eliminate
from your persona.
2. Now try to establish a communication with the part
creating the behavior or response. This could be a sensation
in your body, a picture of another person, a specific sound,
or voice: anything that triggers the negative behavior or
feeling. Write down both the behavior and any triggers
associated with it.

3. Ask yourself what exactly you want- what would you

rather feel instead? How would you rather behave? You have
to recognize the difference between the feeling/behavior and
your intended one.
4. Tap into your creativity to figure out three alternative
ways you would rather feel or behave instead of the current
negative one or some alternative ways to get your intended
outcome.

5. Evaluate your new choices and determine whether they

are acceptable or not.
6. Check for objections with other parts. Sometimes, when
you change an ingrained behavior or pattern, it affects other
parts or aspects of your life. You have to ensure your new
choices and desired change do not have unintended
consequences.
The framing technique helps you tap into your inner
resources so you can behave in a way than is far different
and superior to your normal way of thinking. Write down any
reflections and results from using this technique.

The next chapter will be about mirroring and rapport

building.
5th NLP Technique: Mirroring and
Building Rapport
Mirroring involves mimicking or copying the behavior, body
disposition, or speech patterns of a person you are
communicating with.
Note: mirroring is very different from aping someone. Aping
is where you copy everything someone does; that is not
mirroring, that is rude.
Mirroring is subtle and barely noticeable by the person
whose body language and speech patterns you are trying to
mimic: it has to seem unconscious.
To Mirror someone, you can mimic his or her:
* Speech patterns
* Body language
* Vocabulary style or specific choices of words
* Pace, tempo, pitch, tone, and volume
Mirroring helps you create rapport with the person you are
engaging in communication. It makes it possible for the
person to warm up to you, trust you, and understand you. A
successful interaction can only happen when you maintain
rapport with the person you engage in communication with.
There are two approaches to mirroring: you can emphasize
the similarities between you and the person, or you can
emphasize the differences. Emphasizing the similarities
eliminates resistance and antagonism.
Mirroring is a natural thing that most of us do. For instance, if
you are trying to talk to a little child, you may crouch so you
and the child can be at the same height, or you may talk
slowly so the child hears you and understand you better. This
is an example of how we naturally mirror others.
How to Practice the NLP Mirroring
Technique
To practice mirroring:
1. Mirroring Body Postures: This involves adjusting some
parts of your body (or all your body) to match the other
person’s body posture. Ensure that the posture is a natural
one; otherwise, the mirroring may seem disrespectful. You
can mirror a person’s head and shoulder positions or other
natural poses.
2. Mirroring Breathing Patterns: Another thing you can
try to match is the breathing pattern. You can mimic the
depth or rate of someone’s breathing; however, if this
breathing is irregular, you should not mimic someone’s
breathing pattern.
3. Mirroring Voices: You can try to match the voices of
those you communicate with by matching the volume, pace,
pitch, and choice of words. This can be a very tricky thing to
do, but if you learn to do it subtly, you will be better for it
because it will improve your rapport building skills. You do
not have to mimic every aspect of a person’s speech, but
you can speak slowly if the person speaks slowly, or speak in
a high tone if the person does so.
4. Mirroring Beliefs and Values: Another way to mimic
someone is to try to understand his or her values and
believes, and try to see that person’s perspective. This is not
real mimicry because you do not have to agree with that
person’s believes and values; you just have to understand
him or her and avoid levying judgment. Doing this helps
build rapport and makes people more likely to warm up to
you.
5. Mirror Language Patterns: You can also mirror a
person’s language patterns. Marketers and sales
representatives commonly use this approach. It makes the
person you are communicating with feel understood. What
you have to do is to use the same words the person uses or
use similar paraphrasing. This ensures the other party feels
listened to and understood.
Essentially, mirroring makes the person you are
communicating with feel as if you are on the same page. It
makes the person feel heard and understood, which ensures
the person feels comfortable and at home when conversing
with you.

For the next few days, make a habit of mirroring and

matching people when communicating. Write down your
results and observations. Did it improve your
communications? How so?
In the next chapter, I will show you a technique that will help
you to overcome any phobia.
6th NLP Technique: The Fast Phobia
Cure NLP Technique
In NLP, this technique goes by the common name
dissociation. Dissociation is a very effective NLP technique
used to eliminate traumatic memories that create phobias.
For instance, Acrophobia (a phobia for heights) may be
because of a high fall you or someone experienced in the
past. Zoophobia (the intense fear of animals) may be
because of an experience where you saw or watched an
animal attack or kill someone.
You can use Dissociation to cure phobias by reprogramming
your brain to give a different response to the object of your
phobia. Dissociation helps separate the mental pictures you
have from the associated feelings. It helps facilitate a safer,
much more relaxed state, and a different perspective that
helps you change your perspective about certain things.
Dissociation reprograms your brain by creating a new
perspective that limits the triggering of the fight or flight
response you have towards the object of your phobia.
How to Practice the NLP Dissociation
Technique
To practice disassociation:
1. First, identify the issue. Why do you have this phobia? Is
something in your past the cause of the phobic feeling or
response? Write down your thoughts.

2. What would you like to experience or what feeling would

you rather have instead of the current one? Write down what
you would like to have instead.
3. Establish a security anchor. We talked about how to
establish personal anchors; choose an anchor you want to be
using to trigger a relaxed state.
4. After establishing the anchor, test it and be sure it works.
5. Recall the event where you first experienced that fear or
the event that caused the phobia. Go with the first memory
that comes to your mind. When you have identified one,
write it down.
6. Picture yourself back in that place where it first
happened as though you are seeing a movie.
7. Imagine yourself comforting your younger self, offering
suggestions for comfort and reassuring your younger self of
security as you trigger the security anchor.
8. Bring yourself back to the present state, relax, or do
something else for the next few minutes.
9. Test again by starting from steps 5-8 and try to note the
difference between your feelings the first time and now.
Record your results and any reflections.
10. Lastly, future pace to determine the effectiveness of the
technique; Future pacing involves trying to imagine yourself
in a fresh new situation similar to experiences that caused
the phobia and trying to see if you will feel more relaxed and
calm instead of the extreme fear and anxiety you always
feel.
 
Now that you know how to neutralize your phobias, let’s
discuss another NLP technique: embedded commands.
7th NLP Technique: The Embedded
Commands Technique
Embedded commands are another technique used by
marketers and sales representatives to get a desired
response from clients.
This technique is like a secondary aspect of the mirroring
technique. After you mirror someone, and they have warmed
up to you, you begin to use embedded commands to get the
person to give you a favorable response.
Embedded commands are commands masked into sentences
to disguise them. For instance, a statement like “You can feel
good as you start this next exercise” has an embedded
command in it.
How to Use the Embedded Command
Technique
To use embedded commands:
1. First, set up a Weasel phrase. This is a type of phrasing
that gives the impression of authority that something
meaningful or relevant has been stated, when in fact what
you are saying is highly ambiguous. Examples of Weasel
phrases include:
* If you were to...
* Some people say ...
* It is known that…
* You really should not...
* How does it feel when you...
2. Insert a command verb. You have to change your tone
before you say the command verb or pause a bit before you
say it so that the person’s unconscious mind would pick up
the command. You have to do this without making it to
obvious or make the person wonder what you are doing.
Examples of command verbs include:
* Remember
* Feel
* Experience
* Think about
* Have
3. Process the command. You can add phrases that
complete the sentence.
An Example is “You can…..feel good…. As you start this
exercise” or “I recently read a study about people who ….eat
sushi…are healthier.”
Come up with your own phrase based on a recent
conversation you had and write it down. Next, try using this
technique in your next conversation and record the results.
Was it effective in communicating authority or changing
someone’s mind?

Embedded commands help you get a desired response

through issuing command statements without making it
obvious to your listener.
Next, we will talk about modeling.
 
8th NLP Technique: The Modeling
Technique
Modeling involves copying good behaviors and attitudes. For
instance, if you want to become the CEO of your company
and you admire the current CEO, you can start modeling him
or her.
Modeling helps you develop techniques that can improve
your performance, improve unsatisfactory performances,
and better understand others.
How to Use the Modelling Technique
Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NLP recommends
these steps when trying to model someone:
1. Choose someone whose physical performance you would
like to model.
2. Spend enough time studying that person. You can watch
him or her on DVD or physically observe the person. While
watching and observing that person, be in a relaxed state.
3. When you start feeling familiar enough, close your eyes
and begin to create an visualization of this person
performing a sequence of actions at the highest levels of
excellence. Ensure the pictures you create are vivid and you
can hear them clearly. Continue to watch this performance
for some time.
4. Imagine yourself stepping inside your role models body
and watch yourself doing the same things you have
imagined in the same sequence. Repeat this several times
until you feel a strong sense of familiarity.
5. Step out of your role models body and maintain the
consciousness of your new borrowed skill or habit for the rest
of the day.
6. Repeat this exercise for the next 21 days. The whole
essence of repeating the exercise for 21 days is to ensure it
sticks. Psychologists believe it takes 21 days to form a new
habit. When you practice this exercise for the next 21 days,
it easily becomes a part of you. Record the results of this
exercise.

 
The next technique that we will discuss will entail asking
empowering questions.
9th Technique: The Empowering
Questions Technique
The Empowering questions NLP technique thrives on the
belief that the right questions can lead to the right answers
that will improve your quality of life while the wrong ones
can reduce the quality of your life.
For instance, you do not get as much benefit from asking,
“Why is this happening to me?” as you would get when you
ask an empowering question like “What have I learnt from
what has happened to me?”
The former makes you feel unfortunate, unnecessarily sad,
and dejected, while the later helps you learn how to avoid
making the same mistakes so you can get better results next
time. Empowering questions can help you anticipate a better
future rather than focusing on an unfortunate past.
How to Practice the Empowering
Questions Technique
The empowering questions technique involves asking
questions. Examples of questions you need to ask include:
* “What do I need to do to get better at this and that?”
* “What is this person doing differently to achieve better
results?”
* “How can I replicate this person’s result?”
* “How can I achieve better results while putting in less
effort?”
* “What can I do differently today to have a more fulfilled
day?”
* “How can I get better at this?”
This technique may look easy or a no-brainer, but it can
bring tremendous results by making you feel more powerful,
improve your outlook and zeal towards life, and your work so
you can achieve better results. For the next few days, make
a habit of asking these questions and record them for future
reference.
Finally, we will discuss the future pacing technique.
10th Technique: The Future Pacing
Technique
Future pacing is a mental imagery technique that helps you
connect changes to future situations. For instance, if you
want to perform better at something in the future, you can
use the future pacing technique to achieve that.
Future pacing usually comes at the end of an NLP technique
process to assure the new outcome you want to experience
establishes. When you imagine future situations, it becomes
easier to get a desired result when faced with that situation
in reality.
For instance, if you do not want to experience the phobia for
dogs anymore, you can future pace to a time in the future
where you see dogs and you do not get scared but instead,
you play with them, feed them, and feel comfortable around
these dogs.
How to Practice the Future Pacing
Technique
To practice this technique:
1. Choose and set up an anchor to trigger the desired
response.
2. Think of possible situations in the future that would have
triggered the feeling or response you want to eliminate (an
example is walking into your neighbors’ home and the dog
runs to the door to welcome you). You should think of at least
four different scenarios. Write these down.

3. Imagine yourself stepping into the first situation. Imagine

feeling, hearing, and seeing everything clearly.
4. Try to imagine yourself responding in the new positive
way you would rather respond.
5. Are you satisfied with the new response? If not, try to
fine-tune it until you get the desired response.
6. Repeat step 2 to step 4 for all the other three scenarios.
7. Come to back to the present moment and imagine
yourself in a future situation and trigger the anchor.
8. Imagine yourself responding in the desired way.
9. Repeat steps seven and eight for all the other scenarios.
When you are done, write down your observations.

Future pacing is only effective when you can vividly imagine

situations. The closer to reality your imaginations are, the
better. Just like other techniques, you need to keep
practicing until it becomes a natural part of you.
Conclusion
Thank you again for reading this book! I hope this book has
taught you a thing or two about the Neuro-Linguistic
Programming and how to use to foster positive changes and
development. The whole essence of this book is to break the
concept of NLP down and make it easy to understand and
comprehend for beginners. I hope that book has done that
for you and shown you how to apply the 10 most powerful
NLP techniques to your life.
The next step is to use what you have learned here, and take
action with this knowledge to transform your life.
Thank you and good luck!
NLP: Persuasive Language
Hacks
Instant Social Influence With
Subliminal Thought Control
and Neuro Linguistic
Programming
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter1: Persuasive Language: The Key
Principles
True And Lasting Influence Occurs In The
Subconscious Mind
Human Beings are Creatures of
Emotion
Subtlety is the Way to Persuade People
Chapter 2: Take Control Of Your Language
Power
Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl
Narrative of the Life of Frederick
Douglass
Chapter 3: Hypnotic Language Techniques
1. Priming
What Is Priming?
Types Of Priming
Why Priming Is A Useful Technique
How To Use Priming
 2. Incremental Persuasion
Purpose and Benefit of Incremental
Persuasion
How To Implement Incremental
Persuasion
3. Agree and Amplify
Purpose and Benefit of Agree and
Amplify
How to Use Agree and Amplify
4. Double Bind
How to Use Double Bind Strategy
5. AAB Patterning
How to Practice AAB Patterning
6. Creating Curiosity (Stimulation and
Partiality)
How to Create Curiosity
7. Relative Anchoring
Chapter 4: Advanced Techniques:
Influencing The Masses
1. Conversion Theory
2. Social Impact Theory
Chapter 5: Advanced Techniques: Using
The Four Factors Of Impulse To Get Instant
Results
Impulse Factor 1: Fear of Loss
Impulse Factor 2: Urgency
Impulse Factor 3: Jones Theory
Impulse Factor 4: Indifference
Conclusion
Introduction
“I think the power of persuasion would be the greatest
superpower of all time.”
- Jenny Mollen, Actress and Bestselling Author
Yes, the power of persuasive language is amazing.
Persuasive language refers to a type of language that has
the ability to sway people and make them do what you want.
If your clever conversational strategies sway people, you
certainly possess the power of persuasion. For many
reasons, persuasion is an essential skill to have.
Firstly, persuasion gives you the ability to communicate your
message clearly and effectively. Often, when you convey
your ideas to your listeners, your message gets lost because
your listeners grasp only the information that appeals to
them and filter out the rest. This also happens because your
speech skills lack the power to communicate your message
effectively. By developing the power of persuasion, you can
easily get your message across the way you intend it.
Persuasion also equips you with the skill to change minds.
When you confidently express your views and put your
persuasion skills into action, you easily sway people and
make them to pay attention to what you are saying.
In addition, persuasion helps you get your way. Since
persuasion equips you with the power to use words to control
your listener’s subconscious minds, you can easily
manipulate them. Manipulating people helps you get your
tasks done easily and allows you to use their social networks
and other potentials to your advantage.
To help you understand the importance of this skill, here are
a few examples:
Imagine you are the HR manager at a multinational
construction company. You have been working for the
company for a few years and you think you deserve a raise.
You want to persuade your boss to give you a good
promotion, but you do not want to sound needy, demanding,
or pleading. In this scenario, the only way to emerge
successful is if you have good persuasion skills.
If you have the power to persuade your listener, you will
easily convince your boss to give you a decent raise and
promotion. You will cleverly show your boss how big an asset
you are to the company and how you have helped the
company progress over the years.
Instead of focusing on yourself or sounding needy, you’ll
make the conversation about how your skillset help the
company’s progress. This will help your boss understand
your worth. This strategy will convince your boss to raise
your position and salary without making your boss aware of
your hidden agenda. Basically, you want to appeal to your
boss’s emotions, rather than stating facts about how great
you were at this project or that. Persuasion is about knowing
how to step into someone else’s shoes. How do you bring
value to them? In the following chapters, we will discuss not
only the best way to do this, but how to appeal to them on
an even deeper, subconscious level to bring about the most
powerful results.
Let us look at another example. Imagine you and your
spouse are discussing renovating your house. While you like
your spouse’s ideas, you believe yours are better and you
want your spouse to listen to you. Since your spouse has a
fiery temper, you know if you directly ask her to make your
desired changes to the dining room, she will get angry.
In this example, if you have good persuasion skills, you will
indirectly bring up the topic of how maroon curtains look
better with beige walls instead of blue. Without using the
word ‘I’ in the conversation, you will make your spouse feel
that opting for maroon curtains is the better option in a way
that makes her feel she is making the right choice. Hence, in
this example, good persuasion skills will help you get your
way.
These examples show how important it is to work on your
persuasion and language skills. Even if you have no prior
knowledge of hypnotic language or NLP, by using the
exercises and methods in this book, you will become a
master of persuasion.
This book provides you with actionable strategies you can
use to become a powerful persuader so you can use the
power of your language to persuade people.
 
Chapter1: Persuasive Language: The
Key Principles
To develop the ability to communicate persuasively, you first
need to understand the key persuasive language principles.
This section highlights those principles, and seeks to help
you understand the key elements you need to work on to
improve your persuasion skills.
True And Lasting Influence Occurs In The
Subconscious Mind
To master persuasive language, the key principle you need
to comprehend is that lasting and true influence occurs only
on the level of your subconscious mind and not in your
conscious mind.
Your subconscious mind is a gigantic memory bank with an
unlimited capacity. It stores all the little and big information
related to everything that happens to you. Your subconscious
mind is in charge of storing and retrieving data and ensuring
you respond in an appropriate manner. Your subconscious
makes everything you do and say fit a pattern consistent
with your master program and your self-concept.
Your subconscious is also subjective and does not reason or
think independently. It obeys commands given by the
conscious mind. The conscious mind works as a gardener
that plants seeds in your subconscious mind, which serves
as a garden wherein the planted seeds germinate and then
grow.
Your conscious mind directs your subconscious to behave a
certain way and your subconscious merely obeys it. While
your conscious mind does command your subconscious, the
subconscious mind holds all the power because it stores all
data. Hence, to persuade and convince someone, you have
to appeal to the person’s subconscious mind.
Your conscious mind communicates using concrete thoughts
and logic. Conversely, your subconscious mind
communicates via feelings, emotions, and intuition. To
persuade your husband to buy you a new car, using facts,
figures, and logical data will not help you connect with him
nor will it persuade him.
Instead, you should target his subconscious mind and use
emotions and sentiments. You can do this by telling him how
amazing he is and how you are glad he prioritizes; then, you
will indirectly bring up the topic of purchasing a new car.
Similarly, if you want your boss to give you a raise, you will
use the emotional element to convince him/her. You will
focus on how much value you bring to the company instead
of using logic to make your case that you deserve a raise.
This tactic will help you easily accomplish your goal since
humans are creatures of emotions.

Human Beings are Creatures of Emotion

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing
with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion,
creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and
vanity.” - Dale Carnegie, American Writer & Lecturer
Dale Carnegie’s meaningful quote clearly explains the
following: to persuade humans, you have to target their
emotion. To persuade someone, you have to focus on
emotions while at the same time, maintaining a balance
between feelings and logic. Logic and emotions are the keys
to persuade anyone. As such, tactfully convincing your
listeners means you have to strike a balance between them.
Emotions create action, movement, and energy. A logic
driven conversation may seem boring, but by adding the
right amount of emotions to it, you can instantly spice it up
and effectively get your message across.
However, if your conversation is devoid of logic, it may not
appeal to intelligent listeners. This is why it is important to
maintain balance between emotions and logic: so you can
appeal to all sorts of audience, those whose sway lies in
emotion, and those whose sway is reason. This skill is what
this book shall teach you.

Subtlety is the Way to Persuade People

Everyone has in their mind something called the critical
faculty. The critical faculty acts kind of like a computer
firewall; it filters ideas based on logic and reasoning. It is
designed to protect us from harmful or incorrect information
by allowing us to choose which information we would like to
accept and which information is not good for us and should
be rejected. However, it is also the biggest obstacle we face
when trying to persuade someone, help them to see past
their limitations, or guide them towards a new point of view.
In persuasion, the goal is to communicate with someone’s
subconscious mind without any objections, and get past this
critical faculty. To bypass that person’s critical thinking, you
must add subtlety to your speech.
Subtlety refers to communicating your message in an
effective, firm, and gentle manner. In order to get someone
to see things our way, we don’t want to have a battle of wits
or try to prove someone as being factually wrong; in fact
quite the opposite. Doing this will not help you persuade
people. Rather, it will cause people to dislike you. Instead,
we want to use suggestions and triggers to access their
subconscious directly, in order to guide them gently to our
point of view.
To sway people without hurting their feelings, you have to
add subtlety to your speech, which is where emotions come
in. Subtlety helps you use triggers and suggestions to access
a person’s subconscious mind and steer them gently towards
your viewpoint.
Imagine you are working with a team on a project and you
notice a good way to direct the project. However, you fear
your idea may displease the group leader because it
contradicts with the group leader’s idea.
Here, to prove your point, you could reason with the group
leader but you fear this strategy may alienate you from the
group. However, since you feel your idea has a greater
chance of success, you decide to use emotions to persuade
the group leader.
You gently approach the group leader and compliment him or
her on the good job he or she is doing directing the team.
This instantly cheers the group leader who ends up liking
you. Then, you cleverly enforce the need to work in the
company’s and project’s best interests.
Once the group leader agrees to your notion, you steer the
conversation towards your idea by stating you read it
somewhere. By appealing to the leader’s emotions, you
gently direct his or her attention towards your idea without
offending him or her.
As you can see, subtlety and emotions help you sway
people. In this book, we will uncover many strategies that
help you tap into people’s subconscious and influence them
in the most effective way possible.
Chapter 2: Take Control Of Your
Language Power
The first and basic step to becoming a master of persuasion
is to realize the power of language. Many of us are unaware
of the influence words have over others or how we convey
messages to others.
To become a persuasive person, a person capable of using
words to control everyone around you, you first need to
realize and understand the amazing power hidden in your
words. By doing something as simple as choosing the right
words and correct speaking style, you can easily influence
anyone in whichever way you want.
The possibilities of the amazing things language can help
you achieve are infinite. As they say, the pen is mightier
than the sword. To show you the truth in this statement, here
are a few examples:

Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl

This brilliant book by Anne Frank is arguably the most
significant and widely read Holocaust book. When the Nazis
occupied the Netherlands, Anne Frank and her family hid for
two whole years. During this time, Anne Frank maintained a
secret diary. At that time, she was young.
On turning 15, she died at a concentration camp. After her
death, her father got hold of her diary and had it published.
The diary/book describes Anne’s experience of the Holocaust
and how she tried to retain normalcy even as the world
around her seemed engulfed in complete darkness.
Because the book has an endearing teenage perspective,
readers of different age groups can easily read and
comprehended it. This simple book had a tremendous
impact, and helped the following generations understand the
holocaust, the mind of a young girl going through the
holocaust, as well as the minds of other young kids like
Anne.

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass

Frederick Douglass’ book is another example of how
language and literature have a great capacity for shaping
the way people think. Frederick Douglass is one of the most
popular abolitionists of all times.
Once a slave, this extraordinary man educated himself to
escape slavery and even held talks with Abraham Lincoln on
the issue. He soon gained popularity for his powerful oratory
skills. However, when some people doubted he had lived a
life of slavery, partly because of his excellent writing skills,
he decided to write a book.
His book turned into one of the most popular and best-selling
narratives by a slave of that period and is still one of the
most widely read first-hand accounts of slavery. The book
helped many break the shackles of slavery and live a free
life.
If you have read these books or heard someone talk about
them, you understand the power of words. These books
changed the world and shaped how people thought because
they targeted people’s emotions and rightfully used
persuasion skills.
The language used in these books and many others like
these is the hypnotic language that aims to hypnotize the
readers through the power of words. With this guide by your
side, you too can acquire this skill. But first what is hypnotic
language?
Hypnotic language is a type of NLP (Neuro-linguistic
programming) technique. NLP is an approach to language,
programming, and psychotherapy developed by John Grinder
and Richard Bandler.
Now that you know how beneficial persuasive skills are, your
first step along the journey of becoming a master of
persuasion is to visualize yourself as a powerful orator – one
who easily convinces and successfully achieves motives and
goals. Think of this scenario for a while until it becomes
strong. Write down details of your vision, as well as any
reflections or emotions that come up while you practice this
exercise. This will help to solidify your intention. Don’t skip
this step! Taking this simple action step will help place the
suggestions in your subconscious mind that you are going to
become a great persuader.
Now that you have a basic understanding of the power of
language, let us move on to discussing hypnotic language
techniques.
Keep in mind that you can use the knowledge of these
techniques to your advantage by becoming very observant
of how you and the people around you communicate. The
more you are willing to actively take note of these patterns
occurring in your daily life, the easier it will be to practice
these techniques and become an expert master of language
and subliminal manipulation.
Chapter 3: Hypnotic Language
Techniques
We have outlined the mindset you need to adopt to
understand the use of hypnotic language, and the
fundamental principle persuasion uses to work. Now let us
get into the actual persuasive techniques you need to learn
and apply.
1. Priming
For months, Philadelphia Freedom, a popular song by Elton
John, revolved in my head 24/7; I could not understand why.
After I became aware of the priming technique, I understood
what the song did to me.
The priming technique works on the principle that you can
plant ideas and concepts into the mind without people’s
awareness. Let us explore this technique a bit deeper.

What Is Priming?
Priming refers to when a certain stimulus influences your
responses long after exposure to the stimuli. To explain this,
let me give you an example.
If someone gives you a list of words containing pet, cat, and
wolf, then, someone later asks you to think of a word that
rhymes with log, your most likely answer will be dog. The
word ‘wolf’ will remind you of a dog; the word ‘cat’ usually
pairs with dog and since a dog is a pet and rhymes with log,
you are likely to give ‘dog’ as your answer.
As you can see, that little list directed your mind to select
the word dog. This is how priming works. It works on your
subconscious and produces an effect that usually lasts a day
or two, but sometimes, this effect can last longer.
You can use the knowledge of this technique to become very
self-observant. If you really pay attention, you will realize
that most of our decision making happens on a subconscious
level. Have you ever wondered why it just felt right to wear
that blue shirt today, only to realize that your friend had just
recently told you she was feeling blue? Have you wondered
why you decided that you wanted to eat spaghetti for dinner,
only to realize that you glimpsed an Italian travel billboard
on your way home from work? If you really pay attention,
you will realize that a tremendous amount of your actions
have actually been predetermined for you based on the way
your subconscious mind reacts to certain signals.

The first step to mastering this technique is to write down 2-

3 examples of the priming technique working on you. How
can you do this if you are not aware of it happening? Simple -
when you make a seemingly random decision such as what
song you want to listed to, stop and think to yourself: Is
there something that I picked up on subconsciously that is
influencing me to make this decision? I think you will be
surprised to find that the most incidental things can have
profound effects upon your decision making process!
Unconscious priming aims to affect your word choice by
manipulating your subconscious mind. You opt for certain
words long after you feed these words into your mind.
Priming not only makes you recall certain words, it also
makes you think of different ideas, concepts, memories, and
thoughts by bringing similar ideas and thoughts to your
awareness.
In effect, this technique either brings new things to your
awareness or re-introduces old thoughts that lie close to your
subconscious mind’s surface and makes them easily
accessible. For instance, when you buy a new car, you start
to notice other cars similar to yours.

Types Of Priming
Here are the different types of priming.
Conceptual Priming: This occurs when similar ideas prime
a certain response. For instance, the word ‘hat’ may prime
for the word ‘head.’
Semantic Priming: This occurs when a certain meaning
influences later thoughts. It is similar to conceptual priming.
Non-associative Semantic Priming: This technique refers
to two or more related concepts where one is unlikely to
trigger the thought of the other concept. For instance, if
someone gives you the word ‘sun’, it will not trigger thoughts
of ‘Venus’. This technique is helpful when you do not want
someone to remember certain information or think of a
particular idea.
Associative Priming: Associative priming happens when a
certain connected idea is primed. For instance, the word
‘bread’ primes the word ‘butter’.
Repetitive Priming: Repetitive priming occurs when a
certain word or idea is repeatedly repeated to influence your
later thoughts. For instance, if you listen to a song about
pursuing your passion on repeat, you may become
stimulated to do that later on.
Let us look at the purpose, aim, and benefits of priming in
the context of persuasion.

Why Priming Is A Useful Technique

Here is why priming is useful in persuasion:
Priming helps you communicate effectively: Priming is
an effective way to get your message across. It helps you
use words, ideas, and concepts related to your end goal and
thus easily achieve your motive.
Priming helps you discreetly achieve your mission:
Priming is very useful when you have an ulterior motive. For
instance, if your intention is to sway someone without that
person deciphering your true motive, priming is the go-to
technique. If you have seen Will Smith’s popular movie
Focus, you can easily understand this point.
In the movie, Will Smith plays a conman called Nicky. He
plans to con Tse, a famous Chinese gambler. He gambles a
large sum of money and loses it to Tse; he then tries to win it
back by asking Tse to pick any player he likes off or on the
field. If Nicky’s partner Jess guesses the right number, Nicky
will win back all his money.
The idea infuriates Jess, but Nicky asks her to go along with
the gamble. She takes the binoculars, looks at the field, and
finds one of Nicky’s friend Farhad wearing a jersey with 55 on
it. She understands this as a sign of a con and picks that
number. Nicky and Jess win the gamble.
Later when Jess inquires Nicky about how he pulled off that
con, he tells her that he primed the number in Tse’s mind by
showing him the number throughout the day. Simply by
priming 55 on Tse’s mind, Nicky manages to make Tse opt for
that particular number and win millions of dollars.
Priming helps you target your listener’s subconscious mind:
Priming is a great way to attack your listener’s subconscious
mind so you control it to accomplish your goal. By simply
planting a similar idea or a word in your listener’s mind, you
can get your listener to do your bidding or make the decision
you desire.
As you can see, priming is a very effective technique that
helps you accomplish your goal. Here are a few real-life
examples detailing how to use priming followed by how you
can practice this technique.
Priming helps you effectively market your product:
Priming is an effective method you can use to market your
products successfully and improve your website’s sales. To
get your potential customers interested and attracted to a
certain product, simply focus on that product’s top benefits
and prime it in your customer's’ subconscious through
repetitive priming.
Take for example a sales page for a weather resistant jacket
on Macy’s website. For this particular item, Macy’s aim is to
improve the sales of this jacket by focusing on the jacket’s
number one benefit: its weather resistant feature. Macy’s
wants its customers to believe this jacket is the finest
weather resistant jacket you can find. To do so, they use
repetitive priming. On their product page, the words
windbreaker and weather resistant appear a number times in
the product’s description as a way to emphasize the jacket’s
key feature and to prime these words in the customer's
subconscious. The customer remembers these keywords and
recalls the jacket when intending to buy a weather resistant
jacket. If you start to take note of this technique, you will
start to notice it in marketing and advertising material
everywhere!
Priming enables you to persuade people easily: Sarah
wants Jason (her husband) to buy her a pearl necklace as her
birthday present. However, she does not want to say this
directly to Jason. She comes up with a plan to prime the idea
of getting her a pearl necklace in Jason’s mind.
While Jason and Sarah have their morning tea together,
Sarah shows Jason a picture of a pearl necklace in the
magazine she is reading and tells him how much she likes it.
Later that night, before going to bed, Sarah tells Jason that
her best friend got a pearl necklace from Zales and she is
saving money to buy one. The next day, Sarah once again
brings up the pearl necklace by saying her blue dress feels
incomplete without a pearl necklace. This way, she primes
‘pearl necklace’ in Jason’s subconscious.
Three days later, Jason goes out to buy Sarah a nice birthday
gift, remembers how she would love to have a pearl
necklace, and goes to the jewelry store to buy her one.
As you can see from the above examples, priming is a potent
technique that helps you subtly communicate your motive.
Now that you know that, here is how you can use this
technique in the real life.

How To Use Priming

Here is how you can use the priming technique on others
and even on yourself:
 Using priming to convince others
1. To prime someone, state a clear objective. What do you
want the person to do? Why do you want to persuade the
person? Do you want the person to run an errand for you,
or do you want the person to agree to your decision.
Identify the motive behind your intent to persuade
someone and write it down in your journal.

2. Once your motive is clear, look for words, phrases, and

sentences that relate to your motive. For instance, if you
want your partner to make tea for you, instead of directly
asking her to make tea for you, you could say, “I feel like
drinking tea, or ooh, how I wish I could drink a warm cup of
tea, but, I have to work on this project report right now.”
Come up with several alternative suggestive phrases that
you could use, to have at the ready. Then choose the best
one for the conversation when it arises.
3. Next, confidently say the chosen words or phrases in a
casual manner to the person you want to influence. As you
do so, do not lower your eyes or break eye contact with
person because lowering your eyes or not maintaining
direct eye contact are signs of being secretive, having an
ulterior motive, and hiding something.
4. Repeatedly say the chosen sentences or similar ones after
intervals of 5 minutes to an hour. Eventually, the
suggestion will stick in the person’s mind. Look for signs of
success that your suggestion has taken hold, and record
the outcome.
 Priming yourself to be your best self
Here are a few priming strategies you can use to love and
encourage yourself and become the best version of yourself.
1. When you wake up each morning, give yourself a
compliment. This primes your subconscious into believing
you love yourself and are happy with whom you are.
2. Eat the best or good quality foods to prime your
subconscious that you have the best and deserve the best
of everything. This further improves your self-confidence.
3. Keep your workplace and house organized and neat so it
prims the importance of being organized and efficient into
your subconscious mind.
4. On a post-it note, write words such as flow, success,
complete, growth, and similar words and stick it on your
workstation so you can feel stimulated to complete your
 work on time and be better. Looking at this from time to
time will prime these ideas into your subconscious.
Pick a few of these you intend to try. After implementing
them for a few days, write down how they are affecting your
mood and behavior.

These simple tips are highly effective; they prime your

subconscious to help you become better. In addition to
priming, there are other effective persuasion techniques. Let
us look at them.
2. Incremental Persuasion
Incremental persuasion is a persuasion technique where, to
persuade your target, you take one small step at a time. To
convince someone, you do not immediately jump to your
motive and directly ask the person to do something. To
indirectly plant similar suggestions in your mind, you also do
not jump right into it.
Instead, you convince the person to do a tiny bit of your
ulterior motive, get the person to do a little bit more, and
you keep doing that until you achieve your objective.
For instance, imagine you are selling chairs at a furniture
store. A potential customer comes up to you and inquires
about a few chairs. You show the customer the best one and
ask him to sit on the chair for two minutes.
Once he sits on the chair, you ask him how it feels. “Is it
comfortable enough to relax your entire back?” If the
customer says yes, you move a step further and paint a
picture of how good the chair would look in a study and how
comfortable it will feel.
Once you feel you have grasped the customer’s full
attention, you ask him to compare the chair with his existing
chair. If you notice a strange or unhappy expression on the
customer’s face, it means he is not happy with his current
chair.
Next, you could say something like, “How would you feel if
you could take this wonderful chair home and enjoy it every
day?” This suggestion works as the final step that persuades
your customer who eventually purchases the chair.
Incremental persuasion works its magic by gradually
convincing your target to do something, or become fully
convinced to behave or do your bidding. Here is why this
technique is an effective one.

Purpose and Benefit of Incremental Persuasion

Incremental persuasion is a highly effective technique you
can use to sway people into behaving, feeling, and acting as
you want. The technique helps you strike the iron while it is
hot instead of exhibiting your ulterior motive way before
your target is ready to agree with you.
Quite often, people are not ready to do something they do
not want to or believe in. If in that instance, you ask
someone to do something, the person will very likely be
offended. To elaborate this point, here is an example.
If you had directly asked the prospective customer to
purchase the chair, the said customer would probably have
rejected your offer because his mind was not ready to make
that move yet. From that point on, it would then become
very difficult for you to convince him to buy the chair, no
matter how many positive features it has, or even how much
the customer found he liked it. It is simply too difficult to
sway their opinion towards a certain decision once they have
already made a point of consciously rejecting it.
Similarly, people will not agree to do something until you lay
the foundation for it and make them feel that the act or
request directed towards them is beneficial to them. In the
example above, you made your customer feel as if he needs
the chair by first, making the customer sit on the chair so he
can understand the chair is comfortable to sit on, and then
by painting a mental picture of value the chair would bring to
his life.
To stimulate the client to make an actual purchase, you
moved from point A to point Z in a systematic manner. By
tactfully using incremental persuasion, you turned a
prospective client into an actual client.
Similarly, incremental persuasion helps you tactfully achieve
your objective by making your target pay attention to you
and pay heed to your request/command. You get your
target’s consent on different levels and then present your
real demand so the target can easily agree to it.
To better help you understand how incremental persuasion
works in the real life, below are a few examples:
Real-life examples of incremental persuasion in use
To help you understand how various people use incremental
persuasion in real life, I will give you a personal example. I
vividly remember my high school years - especially my prom
night.
As my prom night approached, my concerns regarding
‘wearing the perfect outfit’ increased. I had seen a gorgeous
champagne colored dress in a store and wanted my mother
to buy for me that dress. Since it was a little costly and I had
not saved enough to buy it, I knew I had to persuade my
mom to get that dress.
Two days before my prom, I approached my mother with a
cup of warm coffee. She was surprised and very happy that I
had made her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. Then I
told her how I did not have a good prom dress for my prom
night. As her concerns increased, I asked her “Mom, don’t
you want your daughter to look the best on her prom?” Her
answer was an obvious “Of course, I want that.” Then I asked
her, “Mom, you love me right?” Her answer was again yes.
Then I threw another question at her, “Mom, I know you’d be
willing to help me get the perfect dress for my prom, but I
don’t know if I should ask you for such a big favor?” By this
point, I had emotionally touched her. She instantly said, “Do
you want me to lend you some money for your prom dress?”
I had achieved my motive. I asked her for a hundred dollars,
hugged her hard, and asked her to accompany me as I went
to buy my perfect dress. In that moment, I had no clue of the
strategy I was using and only found out years later that I had
used incremental persuasion to convince my mother to buy
for me that dress.
Here is another example of incremental persuasion in use in
real life.
My cousin ‘Aaron’ is in the affiliate marketing business. One
of his websites sells different services such as paragliding,
hiking, cliff diving, etc. To encourage his website visitors to
purchase those services, Aaron uses incremental persuasion.
 A few sentences on his website read, “Are you an adventure
enthusiast? Do you love going on adventurous trips with
loved ones? Do you want to go on an adventure today? If so,
contact us and let adventure back into your life through
activities like paragliding and jet skiing. Make your weekend
extra special with these activities.”
These sentences cleverly persuade the visitors to consider
seeking adventure services from the publicized company on
Aaron’s website. This tactic is also known as a “Yes set”, or a
series of questions that your target will likely agree with.
Once you have them in the habit of agreeing with you, it
becomes that much easier for them to agree with your other
suggestions, such as buying one of your products.
By now, you know how incremental persuasion works. Here
is how you can practice this technique in real life.

How To Implement Incremental Persuasion

1. First, set a clear objective.
2. Once your objective is clear, find a way to connect it with
your target. For instance, if you want to make a sale, find
out how the object you want to sell benefits the targeted
customer. If you want your spouse to buy a three-bedroom
house instead of a two-bedroom one, find out how a three-
bedroom house will benefit you as a family. The extra
room could serve as your spouse’s study or you could turn
it into a children’s play area so your children have privacy
and do not intrude on your couple’s privacy. Write down
 both your objective and how you plan on connecting this
objective with your target.

3. Once you determine the connection, come up with an

attractive sales pitch. Whether you are actually selling a
product/service, or just want to persuade someone into
doing as you say, you have to form a sales pitch that sells
your argument. Make sure your sales pitch starts indirectly
and gradually leads towards your final destination in a
step-by-step manner. To ensure your target starts
believing what you say, each step should present some
sort of value to your target. Write down your pitch step by
step.
4. Once your sales pitch is ready, confidently use it on your
target audience. If you do this, you will easily achieve your
goal. Write down any results you observe about the
effectiveness of this technique.
Now that you know how this technique works, practice it
until you perfect it. Another effective hypnotic language
technique is ‘agree and amplify’. Let us find out what it is.
3. Agree and Amplify
The ‘agree and amplify’ strategy is very helpful when you
want to make someone budge from his or her stance. If you
are in an argument with someone who strongly believes in
his or her viewpoint and does not want to accept yours, the
best way to make the person acknowledge and accept your
viewpoint is by practicing the ‘agree and amplify’ technique.
Using this technique, you do not argue against that person’s
belief; neither do you try convincing the person of the
wrongness in his or her opinion/viewpoint. Instead, you
simply agree with the person’s belief and then amplify his or
her viewpoint and argument by connecting it with the
person’s beliefs and values. You use logical reasoning to
make your target understand how illogical his or her opinion
is and then ask the person if the opinion still seems sensible.
When you see your target backing down, you do not dive in
for the kill. Instead, you give the person a little time to
reprocess his or her viewpoint and then ask him/her
questions like, “So what does this imply, or are there other
ways or viewpoints we can consider?” Once the person
seems open to new ideas, you bring in your viewpoint and
make the person accept it by backing it with logical
reasoning.
Examples of ‘Agree and Amplify’
Here are a few real life examples of agree and amplify:
For instance, if you are talking to someone who believes
dogs are a menace, someone who is against dogs when you
love dogs, then you could use agree and amplify to open the
person to the idea of being nice to dogs.
You could say, “Oh, you think all kinds of dogs are a
complete nuisance and a menace? Hmm, I think it makes
sense. After all, dogs are like wolves. How about we create
laws to muzzle all dogs or ban dog ownership, does that
seem right to you?” When you see the person’s expression
softening, you could gradually bring in your viewpoint: dogs
are lovable.
To help you understand ‘agree and amplify’, here is another
real life example:
Your ten-year-old son demands an Xbox for his eleventh
birthday. You want your child to give up the idea of getting
an Xbox for his birthday and instead get something more
useful he can use to complete school assignments, say for
instance, an iPad.
To convince him, you could say, “I understand an Xbox is
really important to you, after all, it lets you play amazing
games even though it does not help you complete school
assignments and you have to constantly beg your elder
sister to lend you her laptop. That is all right, after all, an
Xbox is not as great as an iPad that allows you to do work
and play games too.”
As you can see, this technique is a good way to convince
people. Here is why this strategy is extremely powerful.
 Purpose and Benefit of Agree and Amplify
This approach helps you use logic (proving the other person
logically wrong) to convince people not to do something how
they want to. Moreover, this technique helps you remind
people of their values and beliefs, think reasonably, and opt
for a measured approach.
When you realize a person’s values and beliefs are not
universal and do not produce the desired work in all types of
situations, you become more open to perceiving things
differently. In addition, as you realize it is possible to be
wrong, your entrenched position becomes untenable, and
you have to move forward to stay congruent with your new
approach.
This strategy helps you broaden people’s horizons and help
them see things from different perspectives while making
them agree with you. Here is how you can use this strategy.

How to Use Agree and Amplify

1. When you next find yourself in a disagreement or
argument, the first step to practice this strategy is to calm
down. If you are upset or angry with someone for not
believing in your viewpoint, it will be difficult to practice
this technique. If you are really emotionally charged, try
taking several deep breaths and counting to 20 in your
mind before saying anything at all.
2. Once you are calm, think of a logical way to prove to that
person that his/her viewpoint is crazy and not applicable in
all circumstances. Also, think of the person’s core values
 and try to connect the person’s viewpoint with it. You can
practice this technique now by recalling the last argument
or disagreement that you had. What was the argument
about? What are some circumstances in which that
person’s viewpoint is logically invalid? What are some of
the person’s core values that you can use to connect your
viewpoint to? Write down the answers to these questions
to get a feel for how to internalize this strategy.

3. Next, use logic to prepare your argument. Write down how

you intend to proceed.
4. Approach that person, agree with his/her viewpoint, and
elaborate on it.
5. Then, gradually give logic that shows the incorrectness of
the person’s viewpoint and to make the person rethink his
or her belief, subtly present another approach. Continue to
practice this technique to really internalize this strategic
method of persuasion. Write down your thoughts and
reflections concerning the effectiveness of this technique.
Here are a few more language persuasion techniques.
4. Double Bind
In a double bind situation, you bind someone at both ends:
you give that person a choice. However, whether or not the
person opts for the given option, the result is the same: it
favors you.
For instance, if you want your son to accompany you to a
wedding, and although he does not want to go, you cannot
leave him alone at home, you tell him he goes with you or
you can ask Aunt Clara (an aunt he does not like) to babysit
him. You know your son will choose going with you to staying
with his aunt, so you double bind him by giving him an
unfavorable option to make him do, as you want.
Another example is something I used to do as a child,
without realizing what I was doing. When I went grocery
shopping with my mom, she would sometimes ask me to
help her pick up items on the list. When approaching the
frozen foods isle, I would casually ask her, “Mom, would you
prefer if I got chocolate ice cream, or strawberry ice cream?”
Getting her to focus her decision on what kind of ice cream
was a lot more effective than asking bluntly if we could get
ice cream. Why ask her a question which gives her the
option of saying no?
Below is another example of how the double bind technique
works in real life.
The administration of a new mall wants people to park in
their parking lot. The parking fee is $5/hour. The
administration knows the fee may cause some people not
park at their parking lot. To remedy this, they give the buyers
the option of exempting the fee if they make a purchase of
as little as $5 from the store’s grocery store. This way, they
encourage people to use their parking lot and pay the mall at
least $5 upon visiting.
The biggest benefit of the ‘double bind’ strategy is to offer
people an unfavorable choice or place them in a situation
where they feel compelled to do, as you want. Through this
strategy, you convince someone to behave in the desired
manner without causing the person to feel compelled or
pushed into doing something.
Here is how you can exercise this strategy in real life.

How to Use Double Bind Strategy

To use the double bind technique (correctly use it), first find
out what causes your target to go against your desire. For
instance, if you want your child to attend a wedding, find out
why he does not want to go with you.

Next, give your target an option that looks like he/she will
escape going with you. Ensure the option is not favorable
and is worse than going with you. This way, the person will
opt for the lesser of the two evils and will accompany you to
the wedding. In this case, you presented your son with the
option of staying with their aunt, something your son
deemed unacceptable, which is why he decided to go with
you.
Try out this technique the next time you want someone to do
something, and record your results.
To perfect using this strategy, practice these steps. While
you do that, here is another effective hypnotic language
strategy for you.
5. AAB Patterning
Using this technique, you convince someone of your
viewpoint by saying a statement (A) and then repeating it
again or adding more to it (A), and then when you have
grabbed your listener’s attention, you hit the nail by saying
something contrasting (B). This is why this strategy is called
‘AAB Patterning’ because you use this pattern to persuade
someone.
For instance, if you want your husband to notice how rudely
his mother behaves towards you, you could say, “Your
mother is very compassionate and helpful, but somehow she
is a little harsh on me.” Here is another example:
Imagine you are a laptop salesperson who wants to sell
bigger margin laptops to customers. When a customer
chooses an inexpensive laptop, you could convince him to
buy a costly one by saying, “The laptop you have chosen is
affordable and stylish, but it is not as user-friendly and
durable as this one (point to the one you aim to sell).”
The AAB patterning strategy is effective because it helps you
make your point without directly pinpointing your objective.
Moreover, it helps you direct someone to something different
without making it sound like too much of a stretch to your
listener. Here is how you can use this strategy to sway
people in real life.

How to Practice AAB Patterning

To practice this strategy,
1. First, figure out some qualities or favorable points against
your viewpoint, but support your listener’s. If we take the
earlier example wherein you were selling laptops, you
came up with two benefits of the inexpensive laptop.
2. Next, pinpoint a great benefit of the point/product/agenda
you favor. In this example, you came up with the idea of
publicizing the functionality and durability of the
expensive laptop. Make that point forcefully so your
listener becomes attracted towards the contrasting
statement and then prove your point. Try out this strategy
the next time you want to convince someone of your
viewpoint, and write down your observations.

To master AAB Patterning, practice it a few times. Here are

two more hypnotic persuasive approaches that will help you
become the master of persuasion.
6. Creating Curiosity (Stimulation and
Partiality)
A good way to draw people towards your idea or approach is
to make them curious. When you make people curious, they
want to know more about a certain topic and become
interested in it. There are two major ways to create curiosity:
1. Stimulation: You are curious about something when that
something stimulates your interest. To make someone
curious, your viewpoint has to spark the person’s interest. To
practice stimulation, present people with new and novel
ideas, present them with puzzles, and show them things they
are missing.
For instance, if you want your partner to try a rumba class
with you, you can stimulate him or her by telling him/her
about how exciting the class is and how it revives your
passion in romance. You could give your partner an example
of your friend and her husband who revived their passion
after taking rumba classes for a month.
2. Partiality: When you tell someone everything there is to
know about a topic or issue, you kill the person’s curiosity
because you quench the person’s thirst for more knowledge
and information. However, if you provide them with partial
knowledge that promises benefit, you keep the person
curious and interested by giving him or her a little taste of
the new meal and not the entire meal.
To practice this strategy, use either hints or promise benefits
to your listeners. For instance, if you want a customer to buy
a 52″ LED TV, you can promise amazing benefits to lure the
customer into purchasing the TV. Alternatively, you can hint
that a 52″ LED is better than the 46″ one and give the
customer partial information about the former to intrigue
his/her interest in the 52″ LED.
The ‘curiosity’ technique works well to sway people because
you lure your listeners/audiences into doing what you want
without hinting at your motive. Instead, you raise the
listener’s curiosity by giving him or her interesting
information about the subject or promising immense
benefits.
Here is how you can practice this strategy.

How to Create Curiosity

To make your listeners’ curious about an activity or topic,
first, find out what attracts your listener. Which technique,
stimulation or partiality, work well on your target? Once you
chose a strategy, look for ways to implement it.
To practice stimulation, look for fresh ideas or information
that may attract your listener. Next, present that information
in a manner that touches on your listener’s shortcomings or
weak points so he or she agrees to listen to it.
For example, if you want your partner to get counseling to
improve his or her self-belief, you can lure your partner into
agreeing to the idea by simply telling him/her how your
colleague became a more confident person after going to a
certain counselor. This touches on your partner’s
shortcoming of ‘lack of confidence’ and sparks his or her
interest in therapy.
Write down your experiences using stimulation to add
interest to your ideas.

To practice partiality, first come up with the full story, so that

you know all the benefits to your great idea or viewpoint.
Now that you have the full story square in your mind,
practice removing one of the key benefits. For example, say
you want to get someone interested in a TV series you are
watching. Instead of saying “this series is great because it
specifically discusses the benefits to living in Europe”,
instead say: “I knew that there would be a lot of interesting
facts and information in this series, but I had no idea a TV
show could make me want to move to a different country!” If
you use this technique correctly, your listener should be
wondering: “What country are you talking about? What
about the series had that profound effect on you? Does the
series contain some important information I should know
about?” By taking away vital information, you are piquing
their curiosity.
Write down your experiences using partiality to create
curiosity in your conversations.
Next, practice using both stimulation and partiality together.
When used in conjunction, these techniques can create very
powerful results! Write down your observations concerning
the effectiveness of this technique.
7. Relative Anchoring
Another effective hypnotic persuasion technique is ‘relative
anchoring’. Relative anchoring means that to reach a
conclusion, we often anchor our mind to a relative piece of
information and iteratively adjust ourselves away from that
information until we reach a conclusion/decision that seems
logical and reasonable. To explain this concept, let me give
you an example.
Recall the last two digits of your mobile number. Do you
have the digits in your mind? Now, simply think of the
percentage of African countries in the UN (United Nations.) Is
that percentage less or more than the last two digits of your
phone number, how much less or more?
A study conducted in 1974 asked people to guess the
percentage of African Nations in the UN after spinning the
wheel of fortune. Interestingly, those who had a bigger
number after spinning the wheel of fortune assumed more
African countries were in the UN. Those who had a smaller
number after spinning the wheel of fortune assumed less
African countries were in the UN.
The average answer for those who spun the number 10 was
‘25 percent of countries’ and that of those who spun the
number 65 answered around ‘45 percent of countries’. This
phenomenon is called relative anchoring and it means we
use mental shortcuts to help us reach a decision or a
judgment.
These mental shortcuts help us avoid engaging in thorough
research and reach a conclusion easily. However, these
shortcuts may not always help you reach an informed
decision, which is why before using relative anchoring, you
need to think logically.
Another example of this technique in action is a sales trick
that car companies use all the time. You will see commercials
that state the price of the car at, for example, $45,000.
Then, they will advertise in the same commercial a $5,000
cash back bonus upon you purchasing the vehicle, effective
for a limited time. The market value of the vehicle may only
be $40,000 to begin with, but when you see the commercial,
your mind does not logically move to that conclusion.
Instead what you see is the value of the car ‘anchored’ at
$45,000. Then, you perceive everything relative to that,
making the $5,000 cash back relative to the original price.
Even though the real value of the car has never changed
from $40,000, you still think you are getting a deal based on
the relative anchor in your mind.
The way that you can practice this technique is to use it as a
strategy in negotiation. To use relative anchoring correctly,
always start a negotiation in a good way from your main
stance. For instance, if you are selling your house, give a
bigger quote than the actual market rate so a potential
buyer makes an offer relative to your quote. However, if the
buyer makes the first bid and it is close to the real price, do
not settle for it.
If you are the buyer and the seller makes a bid, do not
assume it is close to the final price. Instead, make a very
small bid so you bring the buyer’s quote down. This way, you
will use this technique in your favor. Practice using this
technique and write down your experiences to solidify this
concept in your mind.
Now that you know the various effective persuasion
techniques, let us now look at strategies you can use to
influence people.
Chapter 4: Advanced Techniques:
Influencing The Masses
Here are a few potent persuasion techniques you can use to
influence larger groups of people:
1. Conversion Theory
At times, you will experience situations where the masses
disagree with your opinion. Being a minority is hard;
nonetheless, even in these situations, you can do something
to convert the majority in your favor, use the conversion
theory.
The conversion theory states you can make the majority
budge from their stance because quite often, many people in
the majority group are not strong believers in their stance.
They may be going along with the idea because it seems
easier to follow and adopt, or because there lacks a
substantial alternative. It is also possible that they are
disillusioned with the group’s main purpose, leadership, or
process and are in search of a better substitute.
To convert the majority in your favor, here is what you have
to do.
● Stay Consistent: First, stay consistent with your
opinion and do not negate your stance at any cost.
● Be Confident: Secondly, gain command over the topic
so you can be confident in what you believe in.
● Stay Unbiased: Thirdly, be unbiased and reasonable.
Instead of strongly favoring your approach, hear the ideas
of the majority and then use logical reasoning to prove
them wrong.
● Offer Resistance: Fourthly, keep resisting the social
abuse and pressure the majority members inflict upon
 you.
To help you understand this theory better, here is an
example:
An extremist group in your area believes there should be a
law against fracking. The majority disagrees with them, but
they maintain their stance. They hold peaceful
demonstrations against your area’s local government on a
regular basis. They engage passersby in persuasive and
reasonable conversations and get them to sign a petition
that shows they have the vote of the majority in their favor.
When you belong to the minority and want to turn the
majority in your favor, this strategy is helpful. To execute this
strategy successfully, you need to have complete command
over the viewpoint you advocate for and do not lose your
confidence under any pressure situation.
Another effective theory that works its magic on mass
persuasion is the social impact theory.
2. Social Impact Theory
This theory proposes that the chances you will respond to
any sort of social influence increase with three factors:
● Strength: How strongly people influence you or how
important these people are to you.
● Immediacy: How closely related you are to that group.
● Number: The number of people in the group.

If you are close to an influencing group, the group is

important to you, and has many people; the group will easily
influence you. The social impact theory/technique is
especially useful when you want to convince someone of
your opinion or belief, but you know the person will not
budge unless you have some support.
For instance, if you want your son to quit smoking, you may
first try convincing him yourself, and then collaborate with
his father, friends, and other people he trusts to make him
quit smoking.
To practice this theory, first try to persuade that person. As
you do that, look for people your target trusts and to
convince that person, collaborate with these people. Keep
adding more supportive people to your group until the
person eventually succumbs to the pressure exerted by the
large group.
While these strategies and the ones discussed in the
previous chapter are very effective, a few factors can further
enhance their effectiveness. In the next chapter, we shall
discuss these elements:
Chapter 5: Advanced Techniques:
Using The Four Factors Of Impulse To
Get Instant Results
If a door-to-door sales person has ever knocked on your door,
that person has likely used one or more of the following
psychological techniques.
The following techniques are especially suited to situations
where you wish to get fast, immediate results. They are
called the Four Factors of Impulse. You can also use these in
conjunction with other techniques to maximize your results.
Impulse Factor 1: Fear of Loss
This factor states you can easily persuade someone into
doing something if you scare him or her with losing
something important. For instance, if you scare your child
into believing he will lose his teeth if he does not brush them
regularly, you can make your son develop the habit of
brushing his teeth every day.
If you want to sell a medical insurance policy to a client, you
can push the client into buying the policy by painting a scary
picture of a future where health conditions afflict him/her
and he/she has no money to pay treatment.
To use this factor effectively, first, be clear on your objective
and then search for things your listener does not want to
lose. Next, paint a scary and compelling picture of what
negative condition they will be in if they do not take action to
prevent it from happening right now. In this way, you can
indirectly compel the person to listen to you.
Impulse Factor 2: Urgency
Urgency occurs when you feel you urgently have to act on
something. It is similar to impulsive behavior. Advertisers,
marketers, and salesperson commonly use this strategy to
urge you to buy their products/services.
To use this strategy, emphasize the importance of the
product on sale or the idea you are advocating. For instance,
if you sell balloons outside a bank, it will not have a massive
impact on passersby. However, if you sell them outside an
amusement park, wailing children will force their parents to
buy balloons for them. Because balloons strongly link to fun
and amusement, their importance increases when you sell
them at an amusement park and so does their urgency.

This strategy works best when you want to persuade

someone to practice impulse buying or impulsive decision-
making. To practice this theory, look for features,
characteristics, or information that adds urgency to a
situation and then use it to convince your listener.
For example, if you want your husband to get a new
mattress for your bed, you could try to convince him by
telling him how the current mattress gives you a terrible
backache and if you do not get a comfortable mattress
urgently, you may experience spinal issues.
Impulse Factor 3: Jones Theory
An extreme example of the ‘Jones Theory’ is the 1978
Guyana mass genocide that killed 910 people. Popular
reverend Jim Jones orchestrated the genocide. Jones
persuaded his followers to drink a strawberry flavored
poison. After convincing only one follower to drink the
poison, the others willingly followed suit.
This happened because people trust the decision-making
ability of the masses. There may have been a large
percentage of people in that lot of 910 who did not want to
drink the poison. However, when they saw the general mass
obey the spiritual leader, they joined the gang and killed
themselves. This shows we tend to follow the general
masses and if a large group of people behaves a certain way,
we think this is normal.
This technique is especially effective when you want to
convince a large group of people to engage in a certain act.
To make the masses believe you, you simply have to
persuade a small group and get them to follow you. In less
sinister applications, this technique can have very positive
results.
To practice this theory, be confident in yourself and grasp
hold of the subconscious minds of a prominent group by
convincing them you are telling the truth. For instance,
imagine you are a political leader and you want the country’s
support to unseat the current unjust president. In that case,
you will convince a majority of population of the president’s
wrongdoings and use them to influence the remaining
country.
Impulse Factor 4: Indifference
Another factor used to persuade people is ‘indifference’. This
factor works extremely well when you want to manifest a
sale. Indifference means to show your listener that his
opinion or decision is not that important to you.
For instance, if you are selling a car and the potential client
does not respond positively to your sales pitch, then stop
convincing him and leave him alone. If you act desperate as
you try to convert the potential client into an actual one, the
likelihood is that the client will feel annoyed and leave the
store.
Hence, the best way to improve the chances of a sale at this
point is to tell the client you only have a few cars left and it
is up to him or her to make a purchase right now or not. Your
indifference will subconsciously convey to your customer
that you are not desperate to get the sale; you are confident
that the car will sell anyway. This message can have a big
impact in convincing the client to buy the car fast, before
someone else does.
This factor comes in handy when the rest have failed to work
their magic. It also works effectively on stubborn people. To
execute this theory effectively, sternly maintain your ground
and never force your listener/client to behave a certain way.
The more indifferent you act, the better your chances of
influencing the target.
Implement these strategies until you perfect them and can
use them in different situations.
Conclusion
Thank you again for reading this book.
I hope this information has been beneficial to you in
expanding your knowledge and sense of possibility in how
you can begin to leverage the principles of persuasive
language to your advantage. Keep in mind the amazing
power of language, as sometimes it is your greatest tool to
creating the life you desire. Remember to practice believing
in your ability to influence yourself and others. Also
remember that the more you practice these techniques, the
more they will become part of your natural vocabulary; your
secret arsenal of persuasive power!
 NLP: Frame Control
Using The Mindset Of Power
To Get What You Want In
Relationships, Business &
Life
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Understanding Frame Control:
The Fundamental Principles
Everything Is Relative
Chapter 2: How The Brain Works: The
Science Of Frame Control
The 3 Cognitive Layers Of Your Brain
Neocortex: The 1st Layer
Midbrain: The 2nd Layer
Reptile Brain: The 3rd Layer
How The Three Layers Of The Brain
Interact With Each Other
Chapter 3: Putting Principles Of Frame
Control Into Action
Characteristics Of People With Strong
Frame Control
1. Strong Internal Belief System
2. Powerful Body Language
Exercise
 3. Confident Language Patterns
4. Mindfulness of the Present Moment
Chapter 4: Techniques To Make Your Frame
Control Stronger Than Everyone Else’s
How To Improve Your Inner Belief System
Exercise
How To Have Powerful Body Language
How To Have Confident Language Pattern
How To Improve In-the-Moment
Awareness
Chapter 5: How To Apply Frame Control
Principles For Improved Communication,
Increased Success, And Social Dominance
How To Use Principles Of Frame Control In
Business And Sales
How To Use Frame Control Principles In
Relationships
Advanced Frame Control Techniques
Conclusion
Introduction
Amanda and Jessica are 19-year-old twins. While the
common belief is that twins respond similarly to similar
situations, Amanda and Jessica are complete opposites.
When faced with a difficult situation, the sisters tend to
respond in different ways even from an early age.
For instance, when their parents divorced, Jessica had a
difficult time; she felt as if her life was completely shattered
and she would never be happy again. Amanda, on the other
hand, was of the opinion that if her parents were happy with
the decision, and could live happily like this, then divorce
was better than living with two quarrelsome parents who
could not stand each other.
Similarly, when Jessica lost her job, she lost all hope and
believed her tomorrow was gloomy. A few months after this
episode, Amanda lost her job too. Although she didn’t have
any way to earn a decent income at that point, Amanda
believed she lost her job for a reason, which is why she used
that opportunity to improve herself so she can look for an
even better paying job. Instead of crying over her lost job,
she laughed at the silly mistakes that cost her job and
resolved never to make those silly mistakes again.
As you can see from the story explained above, the sisters
have a different way of dealing with a similar situation. We
can attribute this difference to the mere fact that the twins
have different frames of mind. While Jessica sees everything
from a negative perspective, Amanda loves putting a
positive and humorous spin to every situation to change its
context for the better.
The latter is what frame of control means: the ability to
reframe any negative situation in positive light. This book
provides actionable strategies detailing how to master the
‘frame of control’ technique and use it to your advantage.
Frame of control means to change the meaning of a situation
by putting that particular situation in an entirely different
setting, frame, or context. For example, a very nasty event
may seem hilarious when you put it in a long-term period, or
when you change its context from serious to humorous. This
ability may not seem very powerful to you right now, but it
has long-term implications.
If your frame of control is poor, and you are in the habit of
giving any situation a negative frame, you’ll forever stay
negative, which will hurt your self-esteem and self-
confidence. Conversely, if your frame of control is positive
and strong, you’ll put an optimistic spin on even the
grimmest of situations, which will turn that situation into a
learning experience. This shapes your self-esteem, self-
confidence, and helps you develop determination.
This clearly shows that mastering the art of frame control is
an important NLP technique you should equip yourself with
so you can turn every situation into a favorable one.
In this book, we will explore and understand this strategy,
and teach you how to use the same strategy to propel
success in all areas of your life.
Chapter 1: Understanding Frame
Control: The Fundamental Principles
To wrap your head around frame control technique and use it
in every possible situation, you first need to understand its
true essence. In this chapter, we shall deeply explore this
strategy.
Everything Is Relative
Frame control is an effective NLP technique. What is NLP, you
ask? NLP is a powerful approach to personal development,
psychotherapy, and communication. NLP aims to help you
become a better version of yourself and positively change
your life simply by altering how you think about situations
and things. The frame control technique draws its principle
from this.
Frame control suggests that everything that happening to
you is relative to your perspective and the experiences you
have experienced thus far. In other words, a situation that
appears awful to you may not be as grim to someone else. A
situation you deem positive may not appear the same to
another person.
To understand this principle better, we need to look at a few
examples:
Frame Control in Action
For instance, two men, John and James, work as sales
representatives for a hat selling company. One day, the sales
manager sends these two men to a new location to sell their
hat products. Upon reaching their destination, the two
discover that the people who live there don’t know what hats
even are! No one has never worn hats before, and as such,
no one in town even owns a single hat.
Upon seeing this, John feels disheartened. He feels that since
nobody is wearing hats, the town people will not be open to
the idea. John, having been discouraged, decides to quit
while he is ahead and go home.
James, on the other hand, is more positive and views the
situation from an optimistic perspective. No one has a hat,
he reasons, and therefore everyone will be wanting one! I
couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity, he thinks. The
opportunity inspires his motivation and enthusiasm, which in
turn helps him to sell more hats than he has ever sold
before.
In the above example, James has strong frame control, which
is why he optimistically assesses an alarming situation so he
could use it to his advantage. This clearly shows that you
have the power to change the meaning of a situation
depending on how you analyze it.
To elaborate this notion, let me give you a personal example.
When he was young, my best friend’s husband would go to
family reunions sometimes. Unfortunately, he had some
cousins who severely bullied him. This led him to believe he
was not worthy of love, respect, and anything good.
Whenever he lost something, he felt it happened mainly
because he was not worthy of anything positive happening in
his life. This is how he lived most of his life, well, until he met
my best friend.
After meeting my friend and falling head over heels, she
realized this flaw and taught him the frame control
technique. After teaching him this technique, he understood
that by simply changing his perspective, he could easily alter
the meaning of things. Slowly, he started framing even the
most negative situations in positive light.
When his affiliate marketing business didn’t go so well, he
didn’t complain at all. Instead, he viewed that event
positively. Instead of saying ‘only bad things happen to me’,
he laughed that at least his terrible website gathered a only
a few visitors. This gave him the determination he needed to
work hard on the next venture until it became successful.
Frame control is about not letting the situation get the better
of you, but instead realizing that you have the power to alter
an influence events in your life by the way you look at them.
This extends not only into the realm of self-improvement, but
into being able to create permanent and lasting change in
others as well. We will get into the aspects of social influence
later on in this book.
In the next chapter, we shall delve deeper into this principle
and fully understand how it operates from a scientific
perspective, so that we can see the psychological principles
at work.
Chapter 2: How The Brain Works: The
Science Of Frame Control
To comprehend the frame control technique, we need to dig
deeper into the science behind it. To do that, we need to
understand how your brain works as it processes
information.
The 3 Cognitive Layers Of Your Brain
All the information you receive from the outside world goes
to the brain for processing. To understand the dynamics of
your consciousness, as well as the dynamics of the various
situations you experience daily, you need basic
comprehension of the structure of your brain.
To help the world understand these dynamics, Paul D.
MacLean, popular American neuroscientist, came up with the
idea of a three-fold or triune brain. The triune brain states,
“The human brain is generally composed of three different
complexes aka three smaller brains that operate inter-
dependently and have created many interconnections
through which it provides us with the basic functions
essential for human expression and survival.”
These three smaller brains are neocortex, mid-brain/limbic
system, and the reptile brain. Let us get a better
understanding of these layers.
Neocortex: The 1st Layer
The neocortex, also referred to as the ‘neopallium/new
mantle’ or ‘isocortex/equal rind,’ is an important layer of
your brain and part of the forebrain. It is the largest portion
of your brain’s cerebral cortex; it makes up around 76
percent of your brain. It encompasses the two cerebral
hemispheres. The isocortex has six layers that have amazing
learning abilities.
The neocortex is the topmost layer of the two cerebral
hemispheres and is around 2mm to 4mm thick. Also known
as the ‘what’ layer, the neocortex is in charge of receiving
different types of information.
Its second layer receives different inputs and stimuli from the
different parts of the neocortex; its third layer receives
information and signals from the different cortical regions of
the brain, and the fourth layer is responsible for receiving
sensory input from its adjacent cortical parts. Since it
receives different sorts of inputs and information, it is known
as the ‘what’ layer because it helps the brain determine the
type of information it receives.
For instance, when you face a frightening situation, the
neocortex helps you understand the current situation is
fearful. If you eat a pineapple, this particular part is what
helps you understand you’re eating a juicy pineapple.
Additionally, this part of the brain is in charge of other higher
functions like sensory perception, spatial reasoning,
generating motor commands, language, and conscious
thought.
Midbrain: The 2nd Layer
The limbic system, another important part of your brain, lies
in the middle of the neocortex and the reptile brain, which is
why it is also known as the midbrain.
Your midbrain acts as the information superhighway and
connects the forebrain to the hindbrain. It allows the brain to
integrate different pieces of sensory information from your
ears and eyes with your different muscular movements. This
allows your body to make different fine and precise
adjustments to your body movements.
The midbrain is also called the ‘mammal brain’ because it
developed after the reptile brain, comprises of the
hypothalamus, amygdala, and hippocampus. Your limbic
system or midbrain generates and regulates the flow of
different chemicals and the interactions they produce to
form your emotions. Emotion is a trait reptiles and lower
animals cannot experience.
The different emotions you experience such as joy, anger,
empathy, sadness, and envy are products of your limbic
system. Your midbrain serves as a buffer between your
actions and thoughts because your emotions are what
produce different feelings within your body and make you
aware of how your actions influence others. This explains
why your midbrain is known as the ‘how’ layer of the brain.
Without your limbic system, you would not have the ability to
experience any empathy or feelings for anyone and you
would be incapable of reeling in destructive and damaging
tendencies, as well as actions you feel and carry out.
Imagine you just found out you failed your mathematics
exam. The moment your brain comprehends the ‘what’
linked with this situation, you feel sad and depressed. Your
midbrain goes into action and helps you understand how you
feel and how different emotions erupt inside you.
Reptile Brain: The 3rd Layer
Your hindbrain, or reptile brain is the deepest and oldest
level of our cognitive function. This layer is concerned with
functions based on survival instincts, and is reactive rather
than logical. The reptile brain comprises of the cerebellum
and the brainstem: two parts also found in reptile brains.
The reptile brain controls all vital body functions such as
breathing, maintaining body balance, regulating body
temperature, and managing the heartbeat. Moreover, it also
manages the different behavioral traits you experience
including pure survival instincts, fight or flight response,
direct-stimulus response, competition, domination,
aggression, ritual, repetition and the temptation to hoard
resources.
All these character traits form the base functions of your
consciousness. These responses are also animalistic and
similar to what animals and reptiles experience, which is why
the hindbrain is called the reptile brain.
Since the reptile brain is in charge of producing, regulating,
and managing these emotions, it helps you figure out the
‘why’ factor related to the different information your brain
receives.
Whenever you experience any sort of situation, you go
through a range of different emotions and feelings. Those
feelings are products of your reptile brain; if you understand
those feelings, you will understand why you behave and feel
a certain way. For instance, if you are furious over losing a
competition, you should deeply analyze this particular
emotion to understand why you feel angry. Perhaps you feel
angry because you lost to your competitor, which is why you
feel enraged.
Now that you know the functions of the three basic layers of
the brain, let us find out the role they have to play in forming
your frame of mind.
How The Three Layers Of The Brain Interact
With Each Other
How does this relate to frame control? you might ask. Here’s
where it gets interesting. Any information or input your brain
receives travels from the reptile brain upwards to the
neocortex. If a piece of information does not engage the
reptile brain, it will not go up the chain of cognition for any
further processing. To be effective communicator, you
therefore need to communicate not from the highest
cognitive levels down, but from the inside out. You need to
appeal first to the deepest level of why what you are saying
is important to them. If a piece of information does not cater
to the basic character traits governed by the reptile brain,
that piece of information instantly filters out of your brain
and doesn’t move up to your neocortex.
Basically what this means is that we automatically frame
information based on what engages our reptile brain. In
other words, if it is not immediately relevant to us, then the
information does not even get processed by the higher levels
of cognition. This may sound simple, but it is highly
profound. The reptile brain works on the level of beliefs.
Whatever you believe about the world (in other words, how
you frame the world), determines what information your
brain receives! That’s why two people can look at the exact
same information and see two totally different things.
Mastering frame control is about gaining a level of control
over this core cognitive function at this deep level; it is
simply about learning to influence and control your own
belief systems.
People with strong frames understand that everything is
relative; they see that any situation can be turned into a
positive by changing their internal perspective. The person
with weak frame control, however doesn’t understand the
power they have over their own frame, or series of internal
beliefs, and so they are concerned with external
circumstances they think they can’t control.
Let’s get into how the brain works on another, deeper level.
Your neocortex divides into parts: the right and left
hemispheres. The left hemisphere is in charge of your ability
to involve in analytical thought, written, and verbal
communication, reason, logic, science, and mathematics.
Your right hemisphere is in charge of empathy, intuitive
abilities, creative expression, holistic thought, art, and music.
If your neocortex is imbalanced towards one hemisphere,
your entire neocortex will stop functioning and will not
regulate the different processes occurring in your midbrain
and reptile brain. In such a case, your midbrain or the reptile
brain takes over.
If the brain imbalance leans towards the left hemisphere,
your neocortex ceases its regulatory functions and your
midbrain stops maintaining emotional balance between your
action and thought. In this case, your reptile brain dominates
your entire brain. As a result, you experience the desire to
dominate and control everyone around you.
Conversely, if the brain imbalance favors the right
hemisphere, your midbrain starts to control your entire brain
and your reptile brain shuts down. As a result, you
experience nervousness, anxiousness, and guilt, lack of self-
esteem, fear, paranoia, depression, suicidal tendencies, and
masochism.
Whether you suffer from a brain imbalance favoring the right
hemisphere or the left one, this imbalance negatively
influences your frame control and affects your ability to
perceive different situations positively; as such, you
approach situations from a negative outlook.
If your frame control is weak, you won’t realize the power
you have over your own frame of mind and are likely to be
more concerned about the external circumstances you feel
you cannot control.
To improve your frame control, you need to strike a balance
between the two hemispheres so you can develop a well-
rounded personality. This is possible only when you
understand that everything is in fact relative. To turn a
negative situation into a positive one and maintain balance
in the emotions you experience, you need to change your
internal perspective.
Let’s take a deeper look into what it means to have good
frame control so you can understand how to strengthen your
frame control and maintain balance in your triune brain
functionality.
Chapter 3: Putting Principles Of
Frame Control Into Action
To improve your frame control, you need to work on adopting
character traits linked with enhancing frame control. People
who exhibit excellent frame control have four prominent
characteristics in common.
In this section, we will discuss and analyze those
characteristics in order to help you adopt them and thus
improve your frame control:
Characteristics Of People With Strong Frame
Control
Here are the character traits associated with excellent frame
control.

1. Strong Internal Belief System

Who has the strongest, most compelling version of events?
They will be the ones that have the strongest frame and
therefore have the greatest influence. You can observe this
phenomenon in action in the patterns of great public
speakers, such as Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King.
What makes someone a compelling speaker is their complete
and utter conviction that what they are saying is both
relevant and important. In other words, they have a strong
internal belief system. They know what they believe, and
why the believe it.
Your internal belief system refers to your beliefs, ideologies,
and viewpoints on different subjects and aspects of life as
well as life in general. Internal belief system forms the basis
of your mindset, which primarily divides into two types:
positive/strong and negative/weak. If your internal belief
system is positive and strong, you will have a strong mindset
that helps you perceive a majority of your experiences,
situations, and all aspects of your life from a positive
approach. However, if your internal belief system is weak
and thus dominated by negativity, you will view everything
from a negative viewpoint.
Your belief system lays down the foundations of your self-
esteem: how you value yourself, and your self-confidence:
the courage to do what you want. If your belief system is
weak, your self-esteem and self-confidence levels are likely
to be low. This means you do not value yourself, believe in
your abilities, nor have the courage to pursue what you
desire.
When your self-esteem and self-confidence are low or
nonexistent, you are likely to follow the rules set by others or
lack a personal opinion about things that matter.
For instance, if your parents neglected you when you were
young, you may lack self-belief and may consider yourself
unworthy of anything good. In that case, you may also
believe your ideas are useless and as such, you may conform
and follow the viewpoints of others. If your father tells you to
study engineering, you will blindly follow his advice. If he
tells you a particular political candidate to vote for, you
never question this viewpoint and instead, you do as he
says.
As a result, your frame control is weak as well. When you
don’t have a viewpoint and belief system, you will not trust
yourself. If you fail in a competition, you will take this as a
sign that you are not good enough to do what you want,
rather than as a learning experience along your path to
success.
While the above is a mere example, a weak internal belief
system can affect you in numerous ways. For instance, a
weak internal belief system may deprive you of the ability to
believe in your dreams or raise your voice against injustice
you face. A weak internal belief system shatters your self-
worth and confidence and makes it almost impossible to
think positively and believe in yourself.
On the other hand, a strong internal belief system helps
shape your self-esteem and self-confidence. A strong internal
belief system does not necessarily mean your belief system
is a constantly positive one: It can be both, positive and
negative.
However, if you have a strong belief system, you have the
ability to perceive everything from a favorable perspective.
You believe in yourself and hold the belief that everything
will turn in your favor. This belief builds and strengthens your
self-esteem and in turn, your self-confidence, which gives
you the courage to trust yourself and do whatever you aim
to do.
For instance, if you have a strong inner belief system, you
know you are a good chef and can make it to the top of the
food industry. Instead of following rules set by society or
those dictated by your father or any authority figure in your
life, you steer your life towards a personally set course.
This strong internal belief system shapes your strong frame
control. We will explain this using the earlier example.
When you encounter a setback in your professional life, you
will not give up your goal pursuit. For instance, if you lose a
big cooking competition, you won’t see it as a failure.
Instead, you will use it as an opportunity to understand your
weaknesses and improve your cooking skills so you can
become a better chef. Hence, a strong internal belief system
is an important determinant of your frame control.

2. Powerful Body Language

Another factor that majorly contributes to your frame control
is your body language. Your body language is the
unconscious and conscious body postures and movements
through which you communicate your feelings, emotions,
and attitudes. For instance, you clap your hands when you
are happy or hide your face in your hands when you are
dismayed or depressed.
Body language is one of the number one ways that we
project our emotions out and signal what we are feeling.
Therefore, it is very important to get a handle on what we
are projecting outward to others if we want to be taken
seriously and respected.
According to research conducted by Harvard professor Amy
Cuddy, your body language determines who you are and how
you behave, which means that not only does your frame of
mind influence what body language you adapt, but your
body language in turn directly influences your frame of mind.
If your body language is strong and powerful, your frame
control will be perceived as strong; if your body language is
weak, your frame control will be weak as well.
A strong or high power body language encompasses all
poses where you lean back a little, keep your spine and head
straight, face people with your chin up, keep your limbs open
and don’t sit, stand, or move stiffly. Conversely, a low power
or weak body language signifies all the poses and positions
where your back slouches or hunches, you point your head
and chin downwards, keep your limbs closed, and your body
stiff.
Moreover, when your body language is weak, you don’t
maintain direct eye contact with your listeners. On the other
hand, if your body language is strong, you’ll maintain direct
eye contact with anyone you interact with.
Let us find out how a high or low power body language
affects your frame control and your confidence.
How Body Language Affects Your Frame Control
How do people with strong frame control appear? Their body
language expresses that they are self-aware, calm,
unflappable. Amy Cuddy’s and Dana Carney’s collaborative
research study shows that if you adopt high power body
language for a mere 120 seconds, your body will produce 20
percent more testosterone.
Scientific research also shows effective leaders have lower
levels of stress hormone cortisol, and higher levels of
testosterone. Testosterone is a neurotransmitter linked to
boosting your confidence. As your testosterone levels
increase, your self-confidence improves and you start
believing in yourself. As your self-belief improves, you feel
things and circumstances will favor you; this belief builds
your strong frame of control.
Moreover, a high power body language decreases cortisol
levels by 25 percent. Cortisol is a neurotransmitter linked to
stress. As your stress levels decrease, you feel calmer and
more peaceful than before, which helps you think clearly and
positively, thus strengthening your frame control.
On the other hand, a weak body language decreases your
testosterone levels, increases the cortisol levels, which
sabotages your self-confidence and causes negative
thinking.
 Exercise
To observe the effects of a high and low power body
language, try the following exercise.
1. Stand completely straight while slightly curving your
tailbone.
2. Place your hands on your waist like Superman, or Wonder
Woman.
3. Open your legs and feet hip-distance apart and maintain
this pose for about five to ten minutes while Looking
straight ahead and smiling.
4. Note your feelings about yourself and the way you
perceive tough situations in your journal. What are you
feeling right now? How did your emotions change? Your
feelings are quite likely to be positive.
5. Next, stand or sit with your back slouched, keep your fists
clenched and keep your legs closed. Maintain this low
power body language for five to ten minutes.
6. After practicing this pose, write down your feelings. How
are your emotions influenced by this exercise? What
changes did you experience? Your feelings are likely to be
negative and you would have lost your ability to perceive
different instances positively.
Now compare the feelings and emotions from both poses. By
now, you will be aware of how beneficial a high power body
language is for you.
Let’s now take this exercise a step further. For the next 3
days, whenever you find yourself thinking negative thoughts,
whether you find yourself in an argument or being influenced
by someone negative, for example, perform the positive
body language exercise. Become aware of your negative
body language such as slouching and make an effort to
change it. I think you will be surprised at how this simple
activity can impact a negative situation! Record your
experiences for each day in your journal.
3. Confident Language Patterns
Your language pattern refers to the type of language you use
regularly, both with yourself when you are alone or
otherwise, and the language you use while conversing with
others.
If you are in the habit of constantly demeaning and
discouraging yourself while you engage in self-talk (the talk
you have with yourself), or you demean yourself or others in
public, your language pattern is a weak and negative one.
For example, if you say things like “you are such a coward”
or “you’re a total loser” when you cannot do something or
fail at a task, your language pattern is a weak and negative
one.
In this case, you likely demean others and negatively
influence them. If your friend tells you he/she aspires to be a
singer one day, instead of encouraging him/her to follow
his/her dream, you pull him/her down and advise him/her to
be realistic. Moreover, you likely practice self-deprecating
behavior in public.
A language pattern of this sort negatively shapes your frame
control. Because you are in the habit of seeing everything in
a dim, negative light, when things don’t go your way, you
think of the worst possible scenarios and your language
further exacerbates the situation.
For a moment, imagine you work in the sales department of
a multinational store. One day, your boss decides to transfer
you to another branch. While the situation is not a negative
one, your frame control views it as one. You feel you will not
easily adjust once you are in the new branch and this feeling
threatens you. Meanwhile, you continue feeding your mind
negative suggestions such as “The new place is going to
suck,” or “What if the co-workers at the new branch are
terrible workmates?”
Such negative talk is a classic example of self-limiting talk:
the kind of language that makes you believe you can never
improve and that your potential is limited to a certain extent.
This kind of talk not only makes you feel that you have
limited potential, it also negatively influences your
perception of things.
As opposed to this, a strong language pattern refers to the
use of positive language with yourself and with others. If
your language pattern is strong, you are likely to practice
positive self-talk and always motivate yourself to become
better. Moreover, you encourage and support others.
When your language pattern is strong, if your boss transfers
you to another branch that is notorious for its unethical
workers, you’d give yourself positive suggestions such as
“Don’t worry, I’m sure the workers will treat me nicely” or
“Even if the co-workers are unsupportive, I’ll change their
behavior towards me by being nice and helpful to them.”
Such positive language helps you see things from a positive
frame and you confidently control even the grimmest
situations with ease.
In addition to using positive language, the tone and clarity of
your speech also affects your confidence and in turn, frame
control. If you talk in a hushed tone or hurriedly, it signifies
low self-confidence. When your confidence is low, your frame
control is likely to be weak.
On the other hand, if you speak clearly, slow, and in a
moderate tone, your confidence levels are high and your
frame control is strong too.
We’ll tell you how you can work on your language pattern to
improve your frame control in the next chapter.

4. Mindfulness of the Present Moment

Another factor that strongly determines your frame control is
your level of mindfulness. Mindfulness refers to your state of
self-awareness and being present in the moment. The better
your state of mindfulness is, the more grounded you are in
the present and the stronger your frame control is. Let us
deeply explore this notion.
If you are not mindful of your present, you are likely to be in
the habit of wandering off in thought. Your mind either lurks
in the past or stays concerned about the future –these
practices cause you to disregard your present.
When your thoughts are full of regrets or unnecessary
concerns, your feel stressed as the cortisol levels in your
body increase. As your stress levels increase, you see things
using a negative frame.
On the other hand, if you are more self-aware and mindful of
the present, you stay grounded in the present, which keeps
you calm and relaxed. When you live each moment fully, you
don’t worry about stressful situations. This soothes your
stressed emotions, and allows for better and stronger frame
control.
For a moment, imagine you work in a garment factory and
your boss asks you to work on an order of about two
thousand t-shirts your team has to deliver in one week. If
your state of mindfulness is weak, upon receiving the order,
you’ll feel stressed. Instead of doing what needs doing, you
will focus more on the consequences you’ll face if your team
fails to meet the order. Your weak state of mindfulness will
cause you to resort to a negative and weak frame control.
On the contrary, if you are highly mindful and calm, you’ll
see this order as an opportunity to prove that you’re a
competent employee. You’ll come up with an effective action
plan and implement the plan to get excellent and timely
results. Hence, in this situation, your strong state of
mindfulness helps you stay calm and exercise your strong
frame control.
Mindfulness of the moment is the characteristic that helps
leaders succeed in their goals. Scientific research clearly
shows that effective leaders work positively and succeed in
different stressful situations because their stress levels are
low because they live in the moment, they have strong body
language, language pattern, and strong internal belief
system.
To work effectively and get good results in whatever task you
do, you need to work on gaining these four characteristics to
improve your frame control. Now that you are fully aware of
the concept of Frame Control, you automatically have an
advantage because you now understand how people
influence each other, as well as how others are influencing
you. Let’s now look at how to improve your frame control to
become the master of any social interaction.
Chapter 4: Techniques To Make Your
Frame Control Stronger Than
Everyone Else’s
To improve your frame control and make it extremely strong
and effective, you need to develop in yourself the
characteristics that develop a strong frame control. In this
chapter, we shall discuss how you can do this:
 How To Improve Your Inner Belief System
You can easily improve your inner belief system with
consistent, dedicated effort. The trick to doing that is by
getting deep and detailed insight of yourself. To improve your
inner belief system, you need to know what you believe in so
you can determine if your core beliefs are negative.

Exercise
Here is an exercise to help you get in touch with yourself and
improve your inner beliefs.
1. Take your journal and pen and sit somewhere peaceful.
2. Think of your core beliefs and principles, life in general,
and how you want to live your life.
3. Write your beliefs on your journal as you think of them.
4. While doing that, ask yourself meaningful questions such
as “What do I believe in, What do I want out of life, What
are my goals, What do I dream of doing, How do I feel
about myself?” Your mind’s design is one that seeks to
give you answers for all the questions you ask it. If you ask
yourself positive questions, it will give you positive
answers. Write down the meaningful questions and
answers before moving on to the next step.

5. Once your beliefs are out in the open, analyze them one
by one.
6. If a belief has a negative context or contains words with a
negative connotation, words such as “not, never, and
cannot”, positively change that belief.
7. Find a positive replacement for that negative belief. If a
belief states “I am not worthy of respect,” change it to “I
 am worthy of love and respect.” Write down you new
replacement beliefs as you do this.

8. Chant that positive belief several times until it settles in

your mind.
9. Next, eliminate the negative beliefs by crossing out your
negative beliefs that you just wrote down. This way, you
will not think of them repeatedly and you will focus only on
the newfound positive beliefs.
10. Additionally, get into the habit of saying positive things to
yourself all the time, especially when you approach a
difficult situation. You will learn how to be mindful of your
thoughts in the following section, which will give you the
ability to be aware of your thoughts and pinpoint negative
ones on time.
Practice this exercise daily and within a couple of weeks,
your inner belief system will transform into a positive one.
You will also see a remarkable improvement in the way you
frame different situations. Record your observations about
how this practice is affecting you in your daily life.
 How To Have Powerful Body Language
Here is how you can change your body language to improve
your frame control.
1. To enhance your body language, the first step is to
become aware of what you are projecting towards other
people. To do that, begin to monitor your body language
and record what you find to be your most common
postures, stances and gestures. This will help you
understand your body language. If you walk, sit, stand
confidently, and use high power body language, you are
doing a good job. If not, we will go over some tips for you
in the next step.

2. Begin by paying attention to your posture because a

straight and correct body posture improves your
 testosterone and in turn, your confidence levels. Moreover,
smile more often, improve your handshake, and practice
an engaged body language. You can practice all the
positive body language gestures such as smiling, paying
attention to posture, and using power poses.
Use high power body language all the time even when you’re
alone so your confidence rises and your frame control
continues to improve. As you continue to do this over the
next few days, write down your observations about how
changes in body language affect your mood and confidence.
 How To Have Confident Language Pattern
Here is how you can improve your language pattern.
1. First, take note of how you speak. You can do this by
consciously becoming aware of and recording your style of
speaking.
2. Also, write your personal thoughts so you can understand
your style of self-talk.

3. If your language pattern consists of negative words or

words that make you feel potentially stunted, reject the
words and replace them with positive ones. For example,
phrases like “I am not good enough” or “I don’t know how
to cook” are examples of negative suggestions. The first
phrase contains ‘not’ a word that has a negative
connotation and the second phrase states your potential is
limited. Over the next day, write down any negative
 phrases or thought patterns that you observe yourself
engaging in.

4. Change these phrases to “I am good and with practice,

can become even better” and “I don’t know how to cook
yet”, respectively. The addition of a positive phrase
instantly makes the first phrase sound positive and by
adding ‘yet’ to the second one, you give yourself hope
that you can still learn how to cook. Similarly, modify all
your negative thoughts and ideas. Write down these new
phrases and words you intend to use the next time you
catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk.
Additionally, speak in a moderate tone and try to speak
slowly so you can feel and sound confident. Practice
speaking in this new style with a supportive friend and ask
the person for feedback so you can further improve your
language pattern. Continue to implement these changes and
record your observations about how this practice is affecting
your mood and confidence.
 How To Improve In-the-Moment Awareness
To improve your frame control, you need to improve your
awareness of the present. The best way to do that is by
meditating regularly. Numerous studies prove that
meditation improves your brain health, sense of awareness,
mindfulness, and quality of life. Here is how you can
meditate.
1. Sit in a quiet room in any pose you like. If this is your first
time meditating, sit comfortably on a cushion or on a
chair.
2. Slowly, bring your attention to your breath and be aware
of your in-breath and out-breath.
3. Stay with your breath and focus on the rhythmic
movements it produces in your body such as the extension
and contraction of your abdomen.
4. When your thoughts wander away, gently bring them back
to your breath.
5. Keep doing this for two to five minutes and in a couple of
days, you will find it easier to focus on your breath.
6. In a week (if you are consistent), you will become calm.
When this happens, increase the duration of your practice.
Record any changes you notice in your mood throughout
the next week in your journal.
7. In about a month, you will find it easier to stay grounded
in the present and focus on one object/task at a time. As
this happens, you will gain better control of your thoughts
and will easily identify negative and positive thoughts on
time. This will help you eliminate negative thoughts
instantly and enrich your mind with positive thoughts only.
As you become better at meditation, you will feel more
composed as well; this composure will help you stay calm
even when the situation is unfavorable to you. When this
happens, you will exude an aura of confidence and calm to a
point where no one will consider you stressed. Instead,
everyone will perceive you as a composed person who
deserves admiration. This will help you check your emotions
and calmly handle any stressful situation.
Now that you know how to improve your frame control, to
achieve positive results, apply these strategies. Let us find
out how you can use frame control to achieve success in
sales, business, and relationships.
Chapter 5: How To Apply Frame
Control Principles For Improved
Communication, Increased Success,
And Social Dominance
Here is how you can use the various frame control principles
to improve different aspects of your life.
 How To Use Principles Of Frame Control In
Business And Sales
Here is how you can advantageously use frame control in
sales and business.
1. Always practice high power body language and confident
language patterns in your workplace. By doing so,
everyone will perceive you as a confident person. It is also
helpful to study and mirror the body language of others.
You can watch videos of the speeches of successful
people, such as Tony Robbins. What do you notice about
the way they project themselves? Absorb these patterns
into your confident body language arsenal.
2. Refrain from voicing your opinions until you hear the entire
story. For instance, if you are in talks with a potential
business partner, give your verdict after hearing the entire
story. This will help you make informed decisions.
3. Steer the course of a conversation in your favor by playing
to your strengths. For instance, if you are selling a laptop
to a potential client and the client is hesitant to buy it
because of the style, focus the client’s attention instead to
the the positives, such as the laptop’s user-friendly
features and high functionality. Reframe the conversation
to something in your favor.
4. Always try to look for the positive aspect associated with
any situation. Even if you at first perceive the situation as
completely negative, there will always be something
positive about it. If a client returned an order, take it as an
opportunity to get some honest feedback about your
product or customer service, in order to continually
improve.
 How To Use Frame Control Principles In
Relationships
Here are some strategies to help you make use of frame
control in relationships.
1. Impress people by spotlighting them and focusing on their
positives. For instance, if you are out on a date, tell your
date how wonderful she looks and shower attention on her
instead of making the entire date about you. This simple
strategy will impress your date and increases the chances
of her falling for you.
2. Secondly, use positive language with your loved ones and
always give them a chance to speak. Hearing their side of
story helps you know there are two sides to a story and
changes your negative perception. For instance, if you find
yourself in a heated argument, stop to think about the
other person’s perspective instead of getting consumed in
your own emotional reactions.
Apply these tactics along with the ones taught in the
‘business’ section to improve your relationships.
Advanced Frame Control Techniques
An advanced frame control strategies to help you converse
better with people and perceive every situation in a positive
context is the use of humor.
Humor can be used to change the context of a situation and
get people to like you. When you use humor effectively, you
are essentially forcing people out of their frames; it then
gives you the opportunity to suggest the frame that you
would like them to have. For instance, let’s say you are in an
argument with someone, and you just can’t get them to see
things from their point of view. You are trying to get them to
see things from your perspective and likewise they are trying
to get you to see things from their perspective. Try to take a
step back and see the humor in the situation. Isn’t it
ridiculous that you are both acting as if there are only two
options? Using humor can add perspective to the situation,
and remind the other person about the world outside the
argument. A good joke can also lead to a break in the
argument; and it is at this point that you can suggest an
alternative frame, or viewpoint.
 
Or, let’s say you are trying to get a new, bold idea across to
your boss. With you understanding of frame control, you
realize that your biggest challenge is actually getting him to
alter his rigid frame. If you can use humor to make him
laugh, this affords a window of opportunity where he is open
to new ideas. You are then more likely to be able to influence
his frame and get your idea across effectively.
 
You can also put a humorous spin on any painful or
discouraging situation, to reframe it in a positive light
internally. For instance, if you failed a job interview, recall the
interviewer in the tone of Donald Duck. The depressing
memory will instantly seem hilarious and your perception will
change. It may seem silly, but give it a try, it works!
Also, use light humor when talking to people especially when
a conversation starts to get serious and you see people
getting offended. When using jokes, make sure the jokes you
use are not offensive to anyone. By incorporating humor into
routine conversations, you will pull people out of their rigid
frames and help them perceive a situation from a different
frame.
For instance, you and your best friend are discussing the way
to present your final project report for a particular subject.
You feel your friend’s tone is rising as he tries to enforce his
idea. At that moment, joke about how silly you are for not
getting their point of view earlier and steer the conversation
somewhere else. Bring back the real agenda after a few
moments and suggest your idea once your friend has cooled
down.
To improve each aspect of your life and in turn, the quality of
your life, start implementing these strategies today.
Conclusion
Thank you again for reading this book! I hope you are on
your way to implementing the strategies outlined, and
prepared to use this knowledge to lend clarity to your own
life and use these principles for increased communication
with others.
A recap of what we have learned: Frame control simply refers
to the way you perceive different situations. If your frame of
control is strong and positive, you understand that you have
the power, based on your own internal belief systems to
perceive even challenging situations positively and turn
them to your advantage. The characteristics of strong frame
control are strong inner belief system, powerful body
language, positive language pattern, and
mindfulness. Keep these in mind as you go throughout your
daily life, and notice how these things are influencing your
interactions with other people.
This book has provided you with sufficient information and
actionable tips on how to improve the aforementioned
characteristics and thus, your frame control. Implement
these guidelines and apply strong frame control to every
situation you experience. If you do, you will change your
belief system until gradually, it will seem as if things are
always working in your favor.
 
 NLP: Anxiety
 

Reprogram Your Brain to

Eliminate Stress, Fear and
Social Anxiety
 
Table of Contents
Introduction
You’re Not Alone. Anxiety is More Common Than You
Think:
What is the Solution?
NLP Methods are Proven Effective at Getting You In
Touch With Your Psychology:
Chapter 1: What is Anxiety?
Cognitive Biases of Processing Information:
There are Three Main Types of Anxiety:
Typical Coping Mechanisms for Anxiety Symptoms:
Training your Brain for Avoidance:
The Psychology of Anxiety and Habits:
The Habit of Anxiety:
Chapter 2: The ‘As If’ World
The Self-Hypnosis of the As If World:
The Underlying Cause of Anxiety
Understanding the Concept of Thought Organization
with NLP:
Chapter 3: NLP Techniques for Anxiety
Technique 1: Identifying Anxiety Triggers
Technique 2: Reframing Anxiety Triggers
Technique 3: Accessing Solutions
Technique 4: Setting Relaxation Anchors
Chapter 4: The Strengths of Anxiety
Anxiety is a Signal of your Intelligence:
Chapter 5: Submodalities and your Timeline
Technique 5: Altering Submodalities with the Swish
Technique
Technique 6: Timeline Therapy Technique
Conclusion
 
 
Introduction
 
Have your family members or friends ever told you to “just
forget about it” when you were feeling worried or sad? Have
you ever felt stuck in a state of mind, without knowing how
to change your mood? Have you ever avoided social
situations because you didn’t know how to cope with the
feelings of anxiety at meeting new people?
Your anxiety may take the form of avoiding or feeling
awkward in social situations, constantly obsessing over
certain thoughts, or just a vague, impossible-to-define
nervousness. Perhaps you are even living with muscle issues
from tension, or suffer headaches more often than the
average person due to your anxiety.
 
 
You’re Not Alone. Anxiety is More Common
Than You Think:
Just forgetting about your troublesome thoughts sounds easy
on the surface, but if it really is, why do 40 million people (18
and older) suffer from anxiety in the United States alone?
The fact of the matter is that negative feelings don’t always
disappear just because we want them to. At times, we may
be able to focus on positive thoughts or even distract
ourselves effectively, but that still leaves the rest of the
time, when emotions won’t seem to let us go.
 
● The Emotions have a Purpose: The reason why it
isn’t always easy to get rid of negative feelings is that
they exist for a purpose; to get our bodies and minds
ready for defense. These emotions helped us evolve and
survive, and exist for the purpose of protection.
● They become an Issue when they Interfere:
Although it’s possible to see the positive side of these
feelings, and even understand why they exist, the fact
still remains that they can interfere with our lives when
they get too overwhelming. A lot of the time, these
feelings seem to do nothing but get in the way, or lead
to unhealthy coping methods.
 
What is the Solution?
Anxiety leads more people to seek help than all other
conditions in psychology, and the treatment for anxiety is a
gigantic industry. When seeking to solve this problem, you
may get recommended counseling sessions, certain books,
seminars, courses, hypnotherapy, and of course, medication.
But what will truly help you with this issue? Desperate for a
change, relief, and control over their own lives, many anxiety
sufferers have already tried various methods and received
only small benefits, still not understanding the real nature of
their ailment.
 
How Can You Treat Anxiety?
One popular understanding of anxiety suggests that it’s a
problem or illness that needs treatment. This assumes that
anxiety stems from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain,
genes, or your mental hard wiring. However, if you suffer
from anxiety, you are not necessarily powerless to your
condition! Although anxiety does involve physiology, it is not
necessarily caused by physiology. The traditional medical
anxiety model suggests that in order to solve anxiety,
medication should be used. However, it can be argued that
taking medication for anxiety only addresses the symptoms
of the problem, and does nothing to get to the root of the
issue. In some cases, sufferers of anxiety can show little to
no improvement in their coping abilities after taking
medication.
 
Anyone who has gone through anxiety on a regular basis
knows that it’s an urgent issue that needs relief as soon as
possible. Other methods for treating anxiety may take many
years, or only have a very small impact on the sufferer,
which calls for the need for another method.
 
NLP Methods Can Help You Get In Touch
With Your Psychology:
How we consider problems determines the way we will
approach those problems and treat them. Our current
conception of anxiety could be leading either to a way to
solve it, or stubborn persistence of anxious symptoms. The
NLP approach for anxiety or other issues consist of a few
foundational ideas. One of these is that each human
experience has an inherent structure to it.
 
● Figuring out How to Change these Structures:
When we uncover these pieces of psychology within
ourselves, which cause issues, and understand the way
they function (instead of focusing on why they exist in
the first place), we take steps to change them. Methods
of NLP therapy seek to change our structures of coping.
● From Anxiety Victim to Anxiety Expert: Another
key aspect of this approach for solving anxiety is turning
the sufferer from the victim into the expert of their
anxiety. Since the mental steps that result in anxiety are
automatic and unconscious, many sufferers feel like
anxiety is happening to them. This makes the sufferer
seem like a victim withstanding an outside force taking
over their mind.
● Using Skills to Beat Anxiety: These methods focus
on treatment centered on teaching people to use
anxiety appropriately, choosing effective and new
methods for using their own mind. This gives people the
chance and ability to consider future events from a
resourceful, calm state of mind. They can then
experience empowerment, along with a calm and self-
assured mentality, choosing which steps to take to
accomplish their goals, rather than going with what was
their only choice before; feeling anxiety.
 
 
The approach of NLP, for anxiety, aids people in seeing
exactly how they are creating the mysterious force of
anxiety. Instead of feeling taken over by something outside
of them, they will begin to see that there is more than just
one choice. Living a life free of anxiety means:
 
● Confidence: Living with anxiety makes it impossible
to feel confident. When you are not the ruler of your
own mind, your power is non-existent. You can get back
into the driver’s seat of your own mind, using these
methods. Instead of feeling at the mercy of whatever
emotion pops up at any given moment, you can choose
which state of mind you want to embody, at will.
● Healthy Relationships: Anxiety can ruin
relationships, if allowed to run unchecked. Fear of
abandonment or general worry can act as a poison on
otherwise positive relationships. With these methods,
you can pursue healthy and beneficial relationships.
 
Chapter 1: What is Anxiety?
 
Research on the subject of anxiety continues to expand,
providing us with a framework for how this phenomenon
functions. According to recent research, anxiety should not
be seen as a sickness, but instead, as a typical human
quality or ability that has grown into something excessive or
extreme. All of us think about future events to come,
considering all that might happen, and plan out how to
prevent negative outcomes. But when it comes to anxiety,
the focus on the future and our obsessive thoughts about
what negative events could occur, gets out of hand. The
result is an uncontrollable state of mind where apprehension
and fear overwhelms us.
Cognitive Biases of Processing Information:
Current models, which seek to understand anxiety, show that
anxiety is a result of biases within our minds. Here are some
examples of what that could look like:
 
● Negative Future Projections: Sufferers of anxiety
often feel as though the future is doomed to bring
negativity. They feel as though these bad events are
unavoidable and certain to happen to them. When they
do look outward to observe the world, it seems
impossible to focus on anything but that which they
perceive as negative.
● Being Stuck in one’s own Mind: People who suffer
anxiety, at times, place excessive focus on sensations in
their body, reactions and responses, and their own
emotions. This is healthy when in balance, but for an
anxiety sufferer, it becomes excessive and
overwhelming, and leads to blocking out external
information.
● Incorrect Interpretation of Stimuli: In addition,
this warped sense of focus can lead to
misinterpretations of sensations happening in the body,
leading us to interpret data as more threatening than it
really is. They might notice a sensation that is
ambiguous, like a raised pulse or light sweating, and
jump to a conclusion that they will faint, or go through a
heart attack, for example.
 
 
You could sum up the experience of anxiety as someone
being super focused on all the ways that life could go wrong.
This leads them to become convinced that this is inevitable,
and then look to their own reactions of panic as evidence
that something bad will occur. As you know, this chain of
biases can lead to a harmful circle of apprehension and fear
that seems very hard to escape from.
 
There are Three Main Types of
Anxiety:
In order to get to work solving this problem, you must have
as full of an understanding as possible about it. There are
three different types of anxiety, according to medical
professionals. They are Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety, and
Generalized Anxiety. This may seem quite technical, but
odds are that if you suffer anxiety, you might be
experiencing one or more of these, multiple times
throughout the day, with symptoms overlapping and
amplifying each other.
 
● Panic Disorder: This type of anxiety refers to severe
states of panic, which can lead to uncomfortable,
negative symptoms in your body. When these are at
their most intense, you might even feel as though you
are going to die. This leads to an overwhelming
temptation to escape or run away from whatever
situation you’re dealing with, at the time. These
emotions can make you scared of withstanding an
attack in a situation that you can’t escape from, which
fuels your anxiety even more.

These attacks typically begin abruptly and don’t usually

last long. However, anyone who has gone through one
knows that they feel as though they last an eternity. The
reason for this is that your body’s healthy and normal
reaction to a threatening situation has gotten so
exaggerated, that adrenaline (which is meant to protect
you against physical threats) floods and takes over your
body. This leads to horrible symptoms, and can even
cause you to find your surroundings surreal, or feel as
though you are not attached to yourself.
● Generalized Anxiety: This disorder doesn’t typically
lead people to stay away from particular situations, as
the other types of anxiety do. Rather, it’s a general
sense of anxiety that considers the larger picture, such
as health, your career, or money situation, and leads to
distressing results like depression, insomnia, shaking, or
irritability. You may also feel nauseous, constantly tired,
and often unable to face your day. Although some may
think that this type of anxiety is the least debilitating of
the three, it can lead to a constant chatter in your mind
that truly disrupts your life.
● Social Anxiety: This type of anxiety makes it hard
for you to function or cope with social settings or
situations. This can be caused by insecurities or a lack
of confidence, causing you to fear the judgment of
others. This could lead you to feel dizzy, experience
heart palpitations, blush excessively, or sweat. Most of
the time, this causes people to avoid social settings
altogether, rather than risk feeling more anxiety.
Typical Coping Mechanisms for Anxiety
Symptoms:
Now that you have a brief understanding of the different
types of anxiety disorders, you may be wondering why it’s so
difficult to get over them. This is a sensible inquiry, and it all
relates to the methods people use for trying to cope with
their anxiety. As with anything else, there are both healthy
and unhealthy ways to cope with anxiety. Unhealthy
methods for coping with anxiety are called maladaptive,
while healthy methods are called adaptive.
 
Adaptive Techniques:
These are techniques which seek to get to know, intimately,
the nature of your anxiety, along with the nature of your own
mind and emotions. Instead of hiding from, escaping, or
masking the anxious symptoms, you decide to look at them
up close and find ways to handle them. NLP methods are a
great start. Let’s look next at maladaptive techniques for
dealing with anxiety.
 
Maladaptive Techniques:
These methods can be very effective for getting rid of your
symptoms of anxiety, at least temporarily. Oftentimes,
however, this leads to an overall increase in your dysfunction
by strengthening and maintaining the problem. Instead of
getting to the root of the issue, you are only addressing the
symptoms. Here are some examples of maladaptive coping
mechanisms:
 
● Drinking or Eating Disorders: When a person is
overwhelmed with unpleasant feelings and a lack of
control over their own existence, distractions can
provide comfort from this reality. For this reason, some
 anxiety sufferers might find temporary solace in alcohol,
food, or even drugs.
● Sensitization: Another strategy for coping with
anxiety is something known as sensitization. Someone
using this method puts their mental energies to learning
about, anticipating, or rehearsing fearful experiences in
the future. The purpose of this is to protect oneself from
or prevent altogether these events, which leads to an
obsession with worrying. This particular method for
coping is seen most commonly in people with general
anxiety.
● Safety Activity Coping: Yet another method for
coping with anxiety is using safety activities or
behaviors. This leads sufferers to rely on someone or
something to curb or soothe their anxiety. This can
manifest in the need to always carry a certain item
around (medication, for example), even if you don’t
need it, or an unhealthy attachment to a certain person
in your life. You might also feel unable to perform
certain activities (such as driving) without talking to
someone on the phone the entire trip.
● Avoidance: This is definitely the most commonly
used strategy for coping with anxiety, and is referred to
as anxious avoidance. This method relies on avoiding
situations that may provoke anxiety. It sounds
reasonable, but unfortunately, if someone never
confronts a difficult situation, choosing to avoid it
instead, there is no way to get rid of the fear. This
strategy usually ends up maintaining the anxiety, since
the sufferer is never allowed to figure out how to
tolerate their anxious reactions. This leads to an
inability to face the beliefs that are associated with
those situations.
 
Negative Reinforcement as it Relates to Anxiety:
This strategy only works to temporarily assuage the
unpleasant effects of your anxious reactions. This relies on a
process of learning known as operant conditioning, which
lets the person stay away from their symptoms altogether.
As the principles of this model state, behaviors that are
intended to get rid of negative consequences (eliminating
anxiety, for example), will only lead to an increase in those
behaviors. To put it another way, reducing your symptoms
this way will only lead you to avoid similar events in the
future, leading to negative reinforcement.
 
Training your Brain for Avoidance:
Negatively reinforcing a certain behavior is essentially
seeking to remove something you interpret as bad that
causes you to revisit this behavior (or reinforce it).
Unfortunately, this keeps you from learning how to
overcome, master, and tolerate the anxiety that
accompanies the situation.
 
● An Example of Avoidance at Work: Let’s take a
real life example of this that displays how negative
reinforcement may affect you. Say you have a fear of
social situations, and get invited to a gathering. Right as
you receive an invitation, you may start feeling anxious
about the party. You might then begin to fantasize about
how you could embarrass yourself or be judged by
others at the party. These feelings and thoughts are
very uncomfortable and unpleasant. If you choose to
avoid the situation by declining your invitation, you will
experience an immediate decrease in your anxiety
symptoms.

But this is not because you solved the issue. Instead,

you only eliminated what you perceived to be a threat,
by choosing not to attend the social gathering. Since
your anxiety symptoms were lessened by avoiding a
situation, your strategy for coping (anxious avoidance)
has been reinforced negatively by removing negative
emotions. You will have learned that this is an effective
strategy for coping, which takes away your unpleasant
symptoms. This makes it more likely that, in the future,
you will use this coping method again, since you’ve
trained your brain to believe it works well.

In your immediate experience, this does reduce anxiety

temporarily, but over time, it will only get in the way of
 overcoming this issue. These types of behaviors hold
individuals back from learning that their anxiety is not
warranted, or that you can, at least, effectively handle
such situations.
● The Escape Strategy: Another strategy used by
anxiety sufferers is the method of escape. This method
is employed often by sufferers of phobias and panic
attacks. When you, for example, encounter a situation
that produces anxiety within you, your focus starts
shifting. You may become very focused on potential
threats to your safety (real or imagined). This selective
focus causes your personal emotions and symptoms of
anxiety to increase, while your wish to escape the
scenario rises. But if you don’t learn how to stay with
these uncomfortable feelings, you will never be able to
see that anxiety subsides naturally, if you allow it to.
 
These strategies for coping with the unpleasant symptoms of
anxiety get in the way of your ability to learn about and
dismantle your associations with particular situations and
your symptoms. In essence, maladaptive techniques only
intensify and worsen your anxiety, over time. This is where
NLP methods come in.
 
 
NLP Helps you Face these Associations:
Since these associations don’t go away on their own, it’s up
to you to learn how to rewrite them to better your life and
free yourself from anxiety. NLP helps you view associations
and memories, and rewrite them in a more positive and
empowering light. Your subconscious associations no longer
have to rule your life and control your actions. The first place
to begin is looking at your habits of behavior. Some of the
things you do every day can make you feel fed up, low, and
of course anxious. Finding out exactly what may be
contributing can help you get started right now and
experience results in beating your anxiety very fast. Here are
some contributing factors:
 
● Not Getting Enough Sleep: We’ve all heard time
and time again that sleep is important and good for
your brain, but did you know that not getting enough
sleep can contribute to your feelings of anxiety? When
someone is tired constantly, they don’t have enough
energy or motivation to fulfill their goals or obligations
in life. This leads to anxiety about a lack of productivity,
which fuels further inaction and helplessness. Before
examining your anxiety and NLP techniques to combat
it, look first at your sleep schedule to see if it’s lacking.
● Being Physically Inactive: When we don’t get
enough exercise, our energy is low. Being sedentary
also means that you have too much time to let your
mind run wild, and since that’s a major contributor to
anxiety, you can see how this is a bad combination. In
addition to this, being out of shape doesn’t do much to
help your self-esteem.
● Excessive Caffeine and Alcohol Use: Many people
with anxiety use alcohol to numb their stress, and
eventually become dependent on it. They may then turn
to caffeine as a way to get quick energy, and over time,
this leads to stress on the mind and body, which doesn’t
help anxiety at all, but can worsen it significantly.
● Not Paying Attention to Nutrition: What you eat
has a huge effect on your moods and energy levels.
Eating junk food on a regular basis makes you feel
lethargic, tired, and irritable. You may then reach for
sugary snacks as a way to try to feel happy or content,
but the crash comes soon after, adding to your anxiety.
For a healthy mind, a healthy body is a must, and
nutrition cannot be ignored in this case.
 
 
The above points, along with avoiding new chances to
experience life, and succumbing to escapist tendencies, all
contribute to your anxiety symptoms. Each of these points
on their own may not make too big of an impact, but in
combination, they play a large role in your mood and how
you feel about yourself and life.
 
The Psychology of Anxiety and Habits:
This next section will cover how your habits can determine
the way you deal with stressful situations. In any given
situation that causes you anxiety, it is not any event that is
causing you to be stressed, it is how you react to it. The
good news is, this means it is up to you how you deal with
stress! You can determine your thought habits and gain
control over your response to situations.
 
● How Anxiety becomes Fixed in your Mind: At the
simplest level, your anxious tendency is simply a habit.
It is a behavior you have learned and repeated over and
over, until it fixed itself into your mind and personality. If
you allow these habits to continue for a stretch of time,
you start believing that it’s simply a part of you that you
cannot change but must learn to live with forever. This,
then, leads to behaviors that fit with this belief and
actions that confirm it.
● Getting Used to Settling: Anxiety makes it so you
get used to settling for less than you truly want. For
example, you may consider taking a trip out of town
over the weekend to meet some new people and hang
out with your friends. You may turn this idea down in
your mind before even giving it a chance, simply
because it’s out of your comfort zone, and you’re used
to saying no to such opportunities. Perhaps you hear
about a job that interests you, and only make an excuse
in your mind that it’s not the right time or that your
current job is good enough.
 
 
You eventually get to the point where you convince yourself
that you’re fine with letting these opportunities pass you by,
since you are reducing your anxiety by saying no, but the
fact is that you are just reinforcing your anxiety habit. In
order to understand why this happens, we should first take a
look at habits and go over why they are necessary for us.
 
 
Why do We need Habits?
A habit is a program that has been stored into your mind and
brain, which allows you to undertake simple actions or tasks,
without the need for much direct conscious thought. Habits
help you conserve and save energy and time, allowing you to
place your attention on tasks that require more mental
energy and stimulation. Studies estimate that about 40
percent of the actions you perform on a daily basis are not
choices, but conditioned habits. Whether you are fixing some
coffee or taking the train to work, your mind calls to mind
past actions of doing these actions, and performs them as a
habit, so you don’t have to think about it.
 
This explains why you drive somewhere and, once you
arrive, can’t recall exactly what you just saw on the way
there. You only remember the journey you take every day if
something memorable occurs that needed your conscious
attention for making a related decision.
 
 
The Habit of Anxiety:
 
● An Emotion-based Habit: Although anxiety is also
a habit, it works differently than habits which are based
around physical actions. Instead, your anxiety functions
as an emotion-based habit, where the mental processes
and thoughts you engage in follow along a pattern that
has been stored through repetition and familiarity.
● The Mental Habit leads to Action: Then, this may
lead you to try to start new habits, based on action that
will lessen your symptoms of anxiety. To put it another
way, it helps you to create methods for coping that are
intended to help you feel better.
● Through Repetition, Action becomes Habit:
These coping mechanisms then become ingrained in
your day to day existence and actions. This leads to you
following through on them all the time, without much
thought. All of this reinforces the habit of your anxiety,
continuously, allowing the cycle to flourish.
 
 
This means that it is extremely important for you to take
care of both your physical habits and your mental or
emotional habits together. Since these two are inextricably
linked to each other, it doesn’t make much sense to try to
tackle one at a time. For instance, it’s nearly impossible to
make your anxiety stop using mental energy alone. After all,
if it were that easy, why is it still a problem? When you go
after the problem this way, you are simply allowing it the
power it needs to stay in your mind, feeding it with your
attention and making it grow.
 
 
Stop Fighting your Anxiety and Yourself:
The key here is to stop fighting your anxiety. Simply allow it
to exist for now, and teach yourself to stop adding more
stress onto the fact that anxiety exists within you. Although
you may notice that you feel anxious, the important part is
focusing your attention on replacing the old with the new,
which is what NLP will show you how to do. As soon as you’re
able to follow through on this, the new habits you form will
stop your old habits from being triggered again. You will have
replaced the routines of negativity in your mind with actions
and thoughts that are productive and positive.
 
 
Using the Rules of Habit to your Advantage:
Is it possible to use the above information about habits to
lessen your anxiety? Yes, it is. Developing new, better
actions and habits is something everyone is able to do, and
something you’ve actually done countless times in life
before, without even being aware of it. This is different,
however, because you are going to do this consciously,
choosing the correct habits, rather than leaving it up to fate.
This doesn’t require magic, or a huge trick, and anyone is
able to do this, but no one can do this for you. It’s entirely
your choice.
 
● Understand your Situation: You must first
understand how you got to where you currently are, the
habits that helped you get there, and then use this
information to better your life.
● Decide what you Want: After you understand how
you got to where you are, you must figure out where
you want to go. Most people with anxiety would envision
a future where they were no longer afraid to go certain
places or do certain activities. A life where they can say
yes to invitations to parties, or to that job interview.
● Commit to the Path: Once you’ve figured out
exactly what you want, it’s time to fully commit to this
 path of beating your anxiety. A lot of the habits you
have right now are similar to the habits others struggle
with, especially the negative ones. But some of your
habits will be dependent on your situation, and unique
to you. These changes won’t happen in one day, and
might take some time to become permanent. The
important part is that you must commit to this so that
you don’t give up when struggles occur.
 
 
You will likely find yourself feeling better and also making
improvements to other aspects of life. Remember that every
negative action you feel imprisoned by got there by
repetition, meaning that it’s only a matter of time before
your newer, healthier choices turn into habits. Habit is
perhaps the most powerful tool we have, as humans, to
control where our lives head, so it’s about time you began
using this to your advantage.
 
 
Chapter 2: The ‘As If’ World
 
In order to understand how anxiety can hijack our lives, we
need to understand how we process information about the
world. All of us live in an ‘as if’ world - a term coined by
therapist David Higgins - where we project what we think will
happen based on our past experiences and beliefs. To carry
out our daily tasks and goals, we all make guesses or
estimations about how these events will play out.
 
The Self-Hypnosis of the As If World:
The guesses we make about our future can be thought of as
hallucinations, which have the power to generate pain or
happiness, fear or hope. This process of self-hypnosis is
happening constantly, and can be a great thing. As we
anticipate the challenges of the future, we can guess how
significant any potential challenge may be, along with our
own personal strength and ability to react to it. Some of
these fears are completely realistic and effective, helping us
mobilize our bodies to handle challenges by heightening our
breathing and pulse rates. When you encounter anxiety, it’s
a dysfunction or disorder of your “as if” mental process. Here
are some examples of that:
 
● Future Sorting: By dealing with possible events in
the future, by excluding the past and present, the
individual is not able to call to mind memories that are
relevant or helpful, or use the resources they have
available to them at the moment. As a result, someone
who gave a public speech and had fun with it a few days
ago might experience anxiety considering doing it again
the next day.
● Danger Sorting: This happens when an individual is
caught up on potential factors of risk, rather than
potential factors of safety. This occurs when someone
uses tunnel vision, or becomes hyper-focused, along
with kinesthetic or auditory observations that appear to
validate their concerns. For instance, someone who is
scared of talking in front of others may interpret stares
in a negative light, and completely miss the people
smiling at them. Someone who feels a tight sensation in
their abdomen might get focused on this and forget to
pay attention to the comfort in the rest of their body.
● Exaggerating Danger: A person with anxiety might
increase potential dangers in their mind, even going so
 far as to exaggerate threats in their environment as far
as closeness or size. This makes the threat appear much
greater than their ability to cope with it, even when it is
not necessarily true. They will then fail to call to mind
memories that prove their ability to handle the
situation.
● Unrealistic Assumptions: Instead of grading a
realistic assessment of risk, a person with anxiety tends
to assume that even small dangers are larger than they
really are. If someone is afraid of flying, they might
overestimate the risks inherent in taking a flight. When
small turbulence occurs in the air, they might think that
they have a large chance of dying, even though this is
not the case. They might then launch into a cycle of
thoughts about what must occur in situations of panic,
like the need to escape, or take a pill.

Another example of these beliefs coming into play is

overestimating how important others’ opinions of you
are. You might, for example, trip down a flight of stairs
in public and feel as though you are literally going to die
of embarrassment. In the state of anxiety that results
from this, a whole new set of habits and beliefs are
likely to come up, leading you to respond to them in
ingrained ways.
 
 
All of the above are examples of living either in illusion, or in
the future. However, these are merely hallucinations - they
are not reality. Even if we know that these assumptions or
patterns are not necessarily “real”, these fantasies can
generate emotions such as happiness, sadness, fear, or
excitement. Our minds react to stimuli as if it’s real, even if it
isn’t.
 
 
The Underlying Cause of Anxiety
A person can think about strategies or thought loops that
cause anxiety, or strategies which lead to depressed states
of mind. Both of these issues come from a person sorting
their thoughts and stimuli into what is bad or wrong, and
taking it a step further by associating them with bad
experiences.
 
● Wrongly Focused Attention: For someone who is
anxious, their attention is placed on possible losses,
failures, and defeats in the future. An anxious person
sees these potential disasters are inevitable or
unavoidable. If they do see a way to avoid them, it’s
only through escaping.
● A Conditional Mindset: The anxious person explains
reality in a way that is more future-focused, tentative,
and conditional on circumstances. In other words, they
believe that life will be fine if they can just avoid social
situations, spiders, or public speaking at all costs. In
other words, they feel as though their comfort is
dependent on what happens outside of them, leading to
a state of powerlessness. In order to break this cycle,
you must learn to draw on your own mental resources
for strength.
 
 
A person with anxiety has goals and objectives, but feels
powerless to achieve them. They are afraid of failing.
Although they might not give up on everything in life, they
will give up on anything that causes fear or triggers their
state of anxiousness. NLP addresses these problems. It’s a
collection of methods that are used for developing yourself
or managing negative thought patterns, such as anxiety.
 
 
Understanding the Concept of Thought
Organization with NLP:
NLP works to understand the way we all organize our mental
processes and thoughts. Every single person has a unique
filter that they see the world through, and this is built by our
personal experiences and memories. The majority of people
think in a specific mode most often, such as kinesthetic,
auditory, or visual. For example, a person who is more visual
is likely to see mental pictures when someone asks them
something. For someone who thinks in an auditory way, they
might hear sounds instead. Kinesthetic people will likely feel
an emotion in response to stimuli, instead of seeing or
hearing something.
 
● Finding out how you Process Information: In
order to get to the root of your anxiety, and use NLP to
do so, it helps to figure out how you process
information. When someone asks you to recall a
memory, do you immediately think of pictures and
colors? Or do you remember the sounds that happened
at that time? Perhaps you just feel emotions related to
that memory?
● Using this to Help your Anxiety: The better you
understand yourself, the better these NLP methods will
work for you. When it comes to learning to manage your
anxiety, countless tools exist. NLP will aid you in living a
fuller and more productive life.
Chapter 3: NLP Techniques for
Anxiety
 
Contrary to what it feels like, at times, anxiety is not
something that simply happens “to” you. In order for this
state of mind to come up, it must be activated, or triggered.
The symptoms of anxiety must be treated, including feelings
of panic, or physical sensations like a raised pulse, but
getting to the root of the issue is important as well. This
means that the first step in tackling your anxiety is
identifying what triggers it in the first place.
 
Technique 1: Identifying Anxiety Triggers
A trigger can be emotional or purely physical. While some
can be quite obvious, like visiting a city where horrible things
happened, or seeing a person who was once abusive to you,
others are less obvious. Taking care of and lessening your
anxiety relies a lot on figuring out how to deal with your
symptoms, but it’s also about identifying and understanding
what triggers it. You can then face each trigger and minimize
or entirely alleviate the way it affects you. Here is how you
can begin:
 
● Notice What Happens in your Body and Mind:
You can start by thinking over what occurs in your body
and mind when anxiety attacks. You may, for example,
feel scared, or unfocused. You might freeze, or start
fidgeting. Do you notice that your pulse gets faster or
that your palms sweat? It’s important to notice all of
this. The next time you find yourself feeling anxious, try
to identify the specific feelings in your body and mind.
How are you reacting? Take a moment to analyze and
record.
 
 ● Write a List: Next, write a list of what happens to
you whenever you get anxious. This can be trouble
falling asleep, finding it difficult to eat, or an
overwhelming fear that something negative is about to
happen. You might find it helpful to wait until you
experience a state of anxiety to begin to record this
information down.
 
 ● Think about When this Happens: When does this
usually happen? Is it specific scenarios, like crowded
areas? Is it anytime you have to introduce yourself to a
stranger? Perhaps it happens when someone asks you a
question that you don’t know the answer to. Do you feel
more anxious right before you fall asleep, or when you
wake up in the morning? Take a moment to reflect and
write down as much information as you can about your
anxiety triggers.
 
 
 
Feelings of anxiety can happen at any time, and for
apparently no reason at all. It often occurs without any
warning, making it hard to control it or even expect it. When
your anxiety seems to come from nowhere, it usually gets
even worse after you realize that there is no apparent root
cause. This is generally the case when you have an
undiscovered source of anxiety within you that hasn’t been
looked at yet. We will get to that soon.
 
 
Examples of Common Anxiety Triggers:
There are a handful of triggers for anxiety that are common
and easy to identify. Some of these may cause long term
anxiety issues, and some may be temporary and fade as
soon as the situation fades.
 
● Life Changes: For example, a job that demands a lot
of your attention can cause stress and lead to anxiety,
or coping with a difficult disease. Although these might
be temporary, you may learn certain patterns of
behavior as a result that stick with you for longer.
● Social Changes: Leaving a relationship or having a
falling out with a close friend can lead to anxiety.
Meeting new friends and being unsure of how you fit in
with them can also be a cause.
● Future Uncertainty: You might be unsure of where
you’ll move after you graduate from college, or of what
you’ll do once this internship ends. General uncertainty
about the future causes anxiety in many people. You
can tackle this trigger by making plans about your
future, even if it’s only for tomorrow or next week.
● Environment: There are also environmental factors
that affect a person’s wellbeing and state of mind. For
example, you might be anxious when you’re surrounded
by clutter, without knowing this. Do you feel like a
different person after cleaning your apartment? This
could mean that clutter is a trigger for you. Once you
find this out, you can take steps to make sure your
home is always organized. This instantly offers you
some relief from this trigger.
● Too much Time Alone: Solitude is healthy, but too
much of it can contribute to isolated anxious feelings.
Since anxiety leads to predicting future events in a
negative light, being alone too often can cause this to
worsen. You may find that your thought processes start
veering toward fears about the future, or potential
stress you’ll encounter. To help with this, try to engage
in fun activities more often, or use your time alone to
learn new skills.
● A Lack of Direction or Goals: As humans, we thrive
off of making and achieving goals; it’s what we are built
for. Our bodies and minds are in need of specific
feelings to stay healthy and sane. The concept of
constantly moving toward a new horizon and achieving
goals can keep your anxious and self-defeating thoughts
under control. When you aren’t taking the time to
consider where you want your life to head, it’s easy to
let time pass you by and feel purposeless and
directionless. This uncertainty fuels symptoms of
anxiety.
● Too much News: Staying up to date on current
events is great, but obsessing about it can lead to
detrimental effects in your mind. Remember that a lot of
what you read and see is dramatized and hyped up, and
stay centered by focusing on what you can control. If
you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed by focusing on
the outside world, try turning inwards instead, for a
while. This should help your anxiety symptoms.
● A Loss of Skills to Cope: If you have relied on
unhealthy coping behaviors in the past, such as abusing
alcohol or drugs, you might notice an upsurge in your
anxiety afterward, or the urge to replace your previous
behaviors with other recklessness. These types of
actions are known as replacements for coping, but
unfortunately, if you don’t use healthy coping
mechanisms, you will never develop strong and
effective ones.
● Obsessive Thoughts: Specific obsessive or anxious
thought loops lead to more anxiety. Once you get
started on obsessing about something, your anxiety will
lead to more thoughts of a similar nature, so this can
affect people who already have problems with milder
anxiousness. In some situations, however, if you
encounter a thought that’s especially stressful, it can
lead to an increase in negative thoughts that spiral and
build upon each other. Invisible triggers are complicated
and complex, because these often relate to your past.

For example, if you lived with parents who were always

hard on you and strict about what you did, you might
encounter anxiety later on in life when you do related
 behaviors. Even if you know, logically, that the threat of
punishment isn’t real anymore, you have already been
conditioned to respond this way.
 
 
Your life experiences and habits all play a role in your
patterns of anxiety. Once you figure out what your triggers
are, when you encounter them most often, and what they
lead to, you can get to work on reframing them in your mind.
 
 
Technique 2: Reframing Anxiety Triggers
People who suffer from anxiety are often told that it only
exists within their own heads. The truth is, however, that
anxiety starts in your mind and affects the body, afterwards.
Your mind starts producing strong danger signals, activating
your body into a response. You are then overwhelmed by
fears of possible danger, real or imagined, and adrenaline is
released into your body, leaving you feeling helpless. You
can begin reframing this to be something positive, rather
than negative.
 
The approach that NLP takes to anxious thoughts is by
viewing this quality as a powerful skill and unique ability.
According to the model of anxiety by NLP researchers,
problems are viewed as responses you have learned that
show how fast your mind is able to adapt. This leads to the
implication that since you learned about the issue quickly
and effectively, you can use this power consciously to learn
new adaptations quite fast.
 
● Try Viewing Anxiety as an Accomplishment:
Anxiety is similar to other responses; it’s something you
have learned by repetition. Anxiety shows an incredible
level of creativity, because your mind is adept at
exploring all possible angles of a situation and
imagining potential outcomes, along with coming up
with solutions for them. Although you may see anxiety
as a skill that you wish you wouldn’t have learned, the
fact is that you’ve learned it, and mastered it.
● The NLP Method of seeing Problems as Unique
Qualities or Skills: This model is quite empowering for
anxiety sufferers, because it acknowledges that
problems can actually be assets. Anxiety requires
energy, imagination, and plenty of creativity. In order to
produce anxiety symptoms, someone must be capable
 of imagining, vividly, scenarios in the future. This must
be done with such vividness that you can act as though
they really exist. Not all people are able to do that.
 
 
What does Reframing Mean and How do you do This?
Reframing involves choosing what meaning to ascribe to an
event or situation. Whenever something bad happens,
reframing allows you to look for the positive in the scenario
and choose to place your attention on that. You search for
ways that you can use the lessons from the experience,
instead of bemoaning what went wrong. Let’s take a look at
some examples of this:
 
● Traffic: Stay you get caught in a traffic jam on your
way to work, and are going to be late. The first step
here would be to notice and identify that this event is
triggering anxiety symptoms. Perhaps you’ve noticed
that your pulse is heightened and you feel the urge to
start fretting and imagining the worst case scenario.
Reframe the event in your mind by flipping on the radio
and finding a song you like, refusing to allow anxious or
negative thoughts into your mind.

Start constructing visions of the ways you will make up

for this tomorrow, by staying late at the office, or by
turning in your project early. Start going through the
motions of this, what details need to be taken care of?
Use the mental energy and excess nervousness you
started to feel to be productive with your plans.
Remember to view your anxiety as a strength or skill by
focusing on the positive advantage of being better
prepared for this setback.
● A Friend Cancels Plans with you: Say a close
friend of yours was supposed to go out of town with you
this weekend and cancelled at the last minute. Your
mind might wish to seize upon this event and start
fantasizing about why this happened, and what it could
mean, in a negative way. Notice this event as a trigger
and pay attention to your body’s response, recognizing
the habit of getting anxious. Use this energy to surprise
someone else by inviting them along on the trip.

You could also reframe this event by deciding that

you’ve been given a surprise chance to get some alone
time. This can be used to get to know yourself and have
some quiet time away from work and your social life.
Who knows, you could return home on Monday feeling
revitalized and ready to tackle the week of work ahead.
Start envisioning, in vivid detail, how you will feel
coming home, and the empowerment that comes from
not letting this disappointment ruin your day or mood.
● Unexpected Rain: Perhaps you had been looking
forward to a day in the sun for your day off, and it starts
raining. Your natural impulse might be to start thinking
that nothing ever goes your way, or that nature is
horrible. Instead, you could try seeing this as a chance
to catch up on some activities back at your house that
you are usually too busy for. This can be anything from
reading a book, to repairing something, or to catching
up with friends on the phone. You could also choose to
do something new. Instead of avoiding the rain, go
outside in it and experience nature in a unique way.
● Going through a Breakup: You may have just
burned a bridge with someone close to you, or lost your
long term partner. This could lead you to feel hopeless,
negative, or even angry at them. On the other hand,
you could try focusing on the new time this will give you
to get healthy, reassess your life and choices, drop a
few pounds, or even focus more on work.
● Taking a Flight: Many people are afraid of flying. If
you are about to get on a plane and keep having
 intrusive or obsessive thoughts about what could go
wrong, for example, a terrorist attack. You could tell
yourself that it’s far more likely for terrorists to be off
the plane, than on the plane. What is more likely to
occur? This is a way to reframe your anxiety using logic
and reason.
 
Using the Reframing Technique in Your Life
Now that you know how to use the reframing technique, give
it a try the next time you start to feel anxious. If you notice
yourself entering a state of anxiety, and identify your
thoughts taking a negative turn, try to think of a way that
you can reframe the situation in a positive light. Every time
your thoughts start going in a negative direction, bring your
thinking around to the positive aspects again, for at least 5
minutes. Reflect on your experiences using this technique.
Did it change your mood? Did it help to calm you down?
 

 
Using Word Confusion to Reframe your Anxiety:
Another example of reframing would be using a play on
words to confuse and halt your anxiety before it gets going.
Here are some examples of this phenomenon at work:
 
● Turbulence on a Plane: Let’s go back to the
example of being anxious about flying. You could
wonder what would occur if turbulence happened on the
plane. You could reframe this by telling yourself that
being inside the plane is better, in this situation,
because there is a wall to keep the turbulence from
getting into the plane. This is a tricky mental tactic that
allows your focus to shift to something other than
negative possibilities. The confusion and thinking that
results from this will completely defuse your anxious
thought.
● Fear of a Panic Attack: Another common fear of
anxiety sufferers is going through a panic attack. You
could reframe this by telling yourself, instead to attack
the panic with a sword. Your imagination will have a
hard time trying to put these two together, and find
what you should charge at with a sword. Once your
mind realizes that there is no target, even an imagined
one, your perceived threat will dissolve.
● A Specific Fearful Scenario: Some of us have
particular phobias that cause us anxiety. For example,
you might have a fear of doors closing and causing you
to feel trapped inside the room. You could reframe this
by thinking of a few different places that you aren’t in,
and being glad that you aren’t there. Even if the room
you’re in right now is not your ideal choice, it’s better
than the middle of a jungle, stranded in quicksand, or
out in the middle of the ocean. It’s also better than
plummeting downward on a broken elevator, or being
caught in the street by a mugger.

These are just examples, and you don’t have to use

 them. The idea is to create your own ideas. This works
best when your approach is completely personal, so just
use the above points as a starting place for reframing
your anxious thoughts and patterns.
 

 
Is Reframing a Form of Denial?
No, it isn’t, because you aren’t trying to deny the situation.
Rather, you are fully acknowledging that although you would
have preferred things to play out differently, they simply
didn’t, and that that is okay. You always have a choice in the
way you react to changes or unexpected shifts in your
reality. Reframing means that yes, you may feel bad or
hopeless, but you don’t have to. You could, instead, choose
to look for possible benefits or advantages and look for
them, instead of looking for the negative.
 
 
A Form of Liberation from Anxiety:
When you choose to reframe events in your life, instead of
allowing anxiety to take you over and lead you to behave in
the same old ways, you are reclaiming control over your own
mind. We all encounter choices, throughout life, that decide
how events will affect you. Events, on their own, are neutral,
and don’t directly cause our emotions. What anxiety comes
from is our response to situations. Reframing means being
an active participant in your life, and choosing an
empowering stance. This means you aren’t engaging in
resentment or regret. Although this takes time to get into the
habit of, it’s better than allowing your unconscious habits to
run the show.
 
Technique 3: Accessing Solutions
Another way to handle your anxiety is learning how to access
solutions and resources, in this state of mind. Typically,
people associate potentially threatening situations to
memories of horrible situations, which lead to anxiety and
oftentimes, panic. This technique seeks to help you find and
create resource memories or experiences to handle difficult
scenarios in your life. Anxious people typically sort situations
by danger or possibly negative outcomes, and easily access
scary or difficult times they have encountered. This can be
changed with practice.
 
Next time you encounter a situation that produces anxiety in
you, you can instead focus on the following questions for
diverting your attention to solutions, rather than fear or
anxiety. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and
consider the following.
 
 
Questions to Ask yourself for Accessing Solutions:
 
● What are my Ideal Accomplishments? What
exactly would be the best possible scenario in this
particular situation? Maybe you’re about to go to a job
interview and feel very nervous. Instead, envision what
you want to accomplish at the end of this interview, and
visualize it completely. The clearer the picture, the
better this will work for you. Write down your ideal
scenario, and any reflections after doing this exercise.
 
● What Needs to Happen to Change this for the
Better? Once your ideal vision is complete, you should
next focus on what you can do to help the situation.
How would you act as the ideal candidate for the job
you want? Would you feel confident, poised, self-
assured? Focus on these states of mind, trying your best
to embody them. Think about diverting your anxious
energy into a solution-oriented mindset. Write down
your feelings of confidence and success in detail to help
your visualization.
 
● What should I do to Solve this Problem? If you
are in a difficult situation and notice that your habitual
negative response is hacking into your thought process,
focus instead on what you can do to solve the issue at
hand. Envision specific steps you could take to fix it.
What is standing in the way of making this happen?
What can you do, right now, in this moment, to change
that? Focus on solutions, rather than fear. Write down
your own steps for a difficult situation, and record your
reflections on using this technique.
 
 ● How will you Feel once you Solve it? This is a
very powerful step. Once you accomplish what you need
to accomplish, how will you feel? What emotions will
wash over you once you know that you’ve handled the
situation to the best of your ability? For example, let’s
say you’re working on a deadline at work when the
power goes out. Your computer is completely dead, and
your mind immediately starts getting overtaken by
anxious thoughts. This is a chance to divert your energy
to visualizing a positive outcome.

For example, visualize yourself talking to your boss

when he returns to the office at the end of the day, and
explaining to him how you turned everything around
and finished the project, despite the power outage.
Think about how this will feel, and feel that emotion,
right here and now. Think of a personal scenario of your
own, and focus on your positive emotions brought about
by your success in this scenario. Record your reflections
on this technique.
 
 ● Was there a Time when this Problem wasn’t so
Bad? What was Different? Is there another time that
things were going better that you can envision and draw
inspiration from? What did you do differently in that
situation, and how can that knowledge be useful to you
now? Reflect on your past positive associations.
 
 
 
Questioning yourself with a focus on finding solutions,
throughout your day to day life, can help you get a grip on
your anxiety. You do have the resources within you to handle
life’s challenges, but it’s simply a matter of calling them to
mind. Instead of allowing your anxiety habit to take over and
throw you into a stressed panic, instead divert your energy
and mental focus to productive questions.
 
 
A Practice for Morning and Night:
You can also use productive questioning to start and end
your day. Each morning, before getting up, ask yourself what
you look forward to that day, and at night, ask yourself what
you learned or achieved throughout that day. When you
wake up or go to bed feeling a bit anxious, this questioning
can allow you to alter the way you judge situations in a more
objective manner. You might, for example, wake up and
immediately start getting anxious about an interview later
that day. Instead, you can use the trick of questioning for
gathering resources.
 
 
To Make use of Anxiety, Acknowledge its Power:
Another part of learning to access your natural resources is
to acknowledge the power in your anxiety. Research has
suggested that a bit of anxiety actually makes individuals
better with voting choices, because it alters the way they
view news, allowing them to be more careful about their
thoughts and better informed, all around.
 
● Anxiety Prepares you: When anxiety spins out of
control, it can lead you to feel trapped, even when
you’re in a situation that is physically safe. This is not a
good feeling at all. However, feeling a bit of anxiety in
the right situation, like your first day at a new job, can
be helpful. Try thinking about the fact that your body is
getting you ready to excel and succeed in your goals.
Not only are you more aware of your environment, but
your reflexes become quicker in a state of mild anxiety.
● A Study from 2012: A lab experiment done in the
year 2012 showed that individuals experienced quicker
reflexes in the movements of their eyes, while following
digital targets on a screen, when they were
experiencing the anxious anticipation of a mild shock.
On the other hand, participants who experienced
anxiety were not as quick when they were instructed to
avert their gaze from the digital targets.
● Preparation is Key: The study mentioned above
shows us the way anxiety affects us. It does make us
faster to trust our instincts, but not as fast to use
responses that have been unlearned (as illustrated by
the new targets capturing the attention of the study
participants, proving that it was unnatural for them to
divert their attention). This means that preparation and
practice are crucial, since they allow your instincts to
work to your advantage.
 This explains why workers specializing in emergency
response careers practice and train for any situation
that might occur. Performers who make it to the top
ensure that when they begin to feel stress, they go into
a mental autopilot mode to do what they must do. To
put it another way, anxiety, when used along with
practice, allows you to perform at your best. There is
something to be learned from this fact. The top
performers out there don’t do so well because they
don’t feel anxiety, but because they press on in spite of
it and also know how to use it to their advantage.
 
 
This advantage also applies to individuals who experience
more anxiety than others naturally. Studies done recently
have proven that individuals who feel anxious in their
partnerships tend to notice when something is off with their
partner, such as deception.
 
Technique 4: Setting Relaxation Anchors
Relaxation is important in life, especially if you suffer from
anxiety. When your body relaxes, your metabolism slows
down, your breathing and heart rate become calmer,
lowering your blood pressure, reducing tension in the
muscles, and soothing your brain. In addition to this, your
immune system becomes more responsive, and you are
better able to make decisions with your entire attention.
 
 
Intentionally Relaxing Muscles:
Our bodies and minds are linked, meaning that an
experience of relaxation in the body will be felt by the mind,
just as relaxation of the mind will soon extend to the body.
Here’s how you can intentionally learn to unclench your
muscles at will:
 
● Tense Up: The first step is to intentionally tense your
muscles up. Many anxiety sufferers feel tension in their
upper back and shoulders, so this is a good place to
start.
● Release the Tension: Now that you have made your
muscles tense on purpose, release this tension, relaxing
to the best of your ability. It may help to count down
from 10, and intending to be at your calmest once you
reach the number one.
● Notice the Contrast: The next step is to notice the
difference between the state of tension and the state of
relaxation, considering carefully the transition between
the two.
 
You may wish to make this a daily habit, whenever you start
to notice feeling yourself getting anxious. Focusing your
attention specifically on this physical exercise will also help
to divert attention from your negative thinking as well as
calming your body down.
Try this technique now, and reflect on how you feel before
and after this exercise.
 

 
Calming yourself Down Using the Breath:
When we are anxious, our breath rate immediately
increases. You can intentionally calm yourself down, at will,
by deep breathing, and directing the flow of air into your
abdomen, rather than your chest. Studies show that anxious
people tend to focus on their inward breaths, so a good place
to start is shifting your focus to your exhalations and
breathing into your stomach. Here are some steps on
achieving relaxation through deep breathing.
 
● Start by placing one of your hands onto your
abdomen, with your other hand resting on your chest.
As you breathe inward, the one on your stomach should
be rising higher than the other hand. This is a way to
 make sure that your abdomen is doing the work to pull
air into your entire lungs.
● As soon as you have breathed out through your
mouth, instead of nose, breathe inward through the
nose, envisioning that you’re taking every last bit of air
from the room into your lungs. Hold this breath for as
long as possible, but not longer than seven seconds.
● Now you should exhale out of the mouth, counting to
8. As you release this air in a relaxed state of mind,
contract the muscles in your abdomen to release the
rest of the air from your body. Note that respiration
becomes deeper when you exhale all the way, not from
inhaling more.
 
Try this technique now and record your reflections of how
you feel, before and after using this technique.
 

 
Creating your Relaxation Anchor:
Go through the above steps at least five more times, totaling
at least five breaths, and try getting your breath rate to one
exhalation for each 10 seconds that pass. When you do this,
the rate of your heart and its variability is increased, leading
to positive results on your health, mentally and physically. To
create an anchor, which allows you to access this relaxed
state at will, any time, follow these instructions:
 
● Get Relaxed: Use the steps listed above to relax
your muscles and deepen your breathing.
● Embody the Calm: Visualize what calmness looks
like to you, soaking up the relaxation and making the
feeling very vivid in your mind.
● Create a Trigger: Once you are in your most relaxed
state of mind, create an anchor. This can be tactile, for
example a gesture such as touching your index finger
and thumb together. This anchor will be what you
associate with calm, allowing you to access this state at
will. Repeat this process several times, each time
making the feeling more vivid as you associate the
emotion with your tactile sensation.
 
 
Your subconscious mind will associate your state of mind and
body with your trigger, or anchor. The more you practice
this, the better your success will be. Next time you are in a
traffic jam or just tripped in front of a room full of people,
activate your relaxed state of mind by using your anchor
word or gesture. Record the details of your personal anchor,
as well as any reflections after using this technique for best
results.
 
 
Chapter 4: The Strengths of Anxiety
 
This may sound strange on the surface, because most of us
assume that anxiety is nothing but a weakness that needs a
cure, or a nuisance. But this is a counterproductive mentality
to take. Another method for reframing is learning to see the
strengths that your anxiety brings you.
Anxiety is a Signal of your Intelligence:
Usually, we are surrounded by idealized images of the calm
and cool person, or the heroic savior who laughs at danger.
For someone who is a chronic worrier, they now have an
extra worry. Why is it so hard to be happy and carefree like
those heroes? In reality, though, it helps to realize that
anxiety is common, it shows that you care about reality, and
it’s also a sign that you are intelligent. Studies have shown a
telling correlation in anxious people; the ones who
experience higher levels of anxiety were better scorers on
tests of intelligence, particularly intelligence regarding
speaking.
 
Looking at this information, it does make perfect sense. If
you like to think, and habitually think a lot, it’s more likely
that you will think about future events, going over what may
happen, including negative possibilities. This habit of
anticipation causes your anxiety. Research has proven that
people with anxiety are less likely to suffer fatal sudden
accidents. This is probably because they are paying closer
attention.
 
● Don’t let Ambitions Pass you by: Anxiety is
manageable, and can be used to strengthen your
abilities, as long as you don’t allow it to get in the way
of your dreams.
● Be Real with yourself: Part of using your anxiety as
an ally, rather than seeing it as an enemy, is being
honest with yourself about it. This is necessary if you
are to act on your fears and change your conditioning.
Research, prepare yourself, and meet your challenges in
a calm and ready state of mind.
● Healthy Neuroticism: If you can follow the steps
above, your anxiety is not unhealthy. In fact,
psychologists have a special term for people with
 anxiety who use it to their advantage; healthy neurotics.
A person with healthy neuroticism is very conscientious
and uses their anxiety to produce actions.
 
 
This is a skill you learn, not something that comes naturally
to everyone. When a state of anxiety takes you over, or
holds you back from achieving what you hope to accomplish
in life, this is an issue. But anxiety that occurs due to
everyday tasks or experiences can be seen as a friend, not
an enemy. This emotion exists for a reason, and gives you
great advantages. List to what your nerves are saying, allow
them to lead you to meaningful action, and use this strength
to benefit yourself and your life.
 
 
 
Chapter 5: Submodalities and your
Timeline
Technique 5: Altering Submodalities with
the Swish Technique
Submodalities is a word that is used to describe the
distinctions humans make inside of our systems of
representation. These help you recall all that you’ve smelled,
heard, seen, and more, both in your mind and in reality. For
example, it’s more likely that you’d recall a huge and colorful
photo than a tiny black and white photo. These are the
tiniest foundations of every mental thought process you
have. Since your memories are built using these foundations,
they allow your mind to know what is important or not.
Changing this willfully allows you to gain control over what
you experience in your life.
 
● Identify your Anxiety Trigger: The first step is
calling to mind what your triggers are for your anxiety
and the behaviors that result. Recall the last memory
you have of acting out an unwanted behavior as a result
of your anxiety. This could be turning down an invitation
as a response to stress from envisioning being laughed
at during a party. The trigger could have been the text
message you received with the information for the
party. In this case, your trigger could be reading a text
on your phone. Now, picture this in your mind from your
own personal perspective. Write down your Anxiety
Trigger in detail.
 
 ● Fade the Importance of the Picture: Next, think of
what you can do to this mental picture to make it less
vivid or compelling. You could fade the image, making
the text blurred or gray. Perhaps envisioning the image
becoming smaller could make it impact you less.
 
● Construct your Ideal Image: Now you should work
on creating a mental picture of yourself in your ideal
state. How would the new you behave without anxiety?
How would you walk, speak, and hold yourself? First
write down everything before you visualize, to make the
imagery and feelings concrete.
 
 ● Increase the Vividness of this Image: Now think
about what you can do to make this picture more
exciting and compelling to your mind. You could make it
more colorful, zoom in on it, or add music. Pay attention
to any resistance that pops up as a result of trying to
change the desirability of the picture.
● Swish: Next you should make the picture larger than
life, in your mind, while also fading your unpleasant
trigger image, while thinking of a “swish” noise
accompanying this visualization. Hold onto this picture
for a while, playing up its intensity and vividness.
● Blank your Mental Screen: In order to break out of
this state of being, blank out your mental images or
mental “screen”. This is crucial, because you should not
allow the undesired trigger to pop up again.
 
 
Repeat these steps at least once a day, a total of three
times. Then you can test out how it works. Ideally, your
trigger will immediately call to your mind the more desirable
picture, rewriting your mental association with something
positive and empowering. Altering your submodalities this
way will help you with anxiety that is related to specific
trigger events, like a meeting with your intimidating boss.
You can employ the swish technique for a wide range of
possible future events, mentally preparing yourself to react
positively to previously stressful events or experiences.
 
Record your reflections about the effectiveness of this
technique.

 
 
Technique 6: Timeline Therapy Technique
The technique of using a time line is a quick way to alter
your anxiety, using premises you have about yourself and
the way you act, based on past memories and learned
behaviors or actions. Since these memories, and how you
view them, are subconsciously stored in your mind, more
traditional methods of therapy which tackle conscious
thoughts are less effective and take much longer. If you
knew what affected you negatively in your present
experience, you could easily change it. But it’s important to
work on your subconscious to attack the roots of your
anxiety issues. The NLP timeline method will do this for you.
Here are the steps:
 
● Picture your Timeline: First you need to figure out
how you view the timeline of your life. Close your eyes
and take a few deep breaths, until you feel relaxed.
Imagine a neutral event that happened in the past.
Next, imagine a future event. How do these mental
images appear in your mind? Was the past event behind
you, or perhaps to your left? Was the future event in
front of you, or on the right? Get an idea of whether you
envision your timeline moving as a straight line in front
of you, or from left to right. Record your observations
about your own Timeline.
 ● Recall a Positive Flow State: Next, you must
visualize a memory from your past, where you were in a
state of flow, or a very positive mental zone. Imagine
the state of seeing everything going your way, and
feeling happy and empowered. Recall everything you
heard, saw, and felt when this occurred and build up
this picture to be vivid and strong. Use the anchoring
method outlined in an earlier section to anchor this vivid
mental picture. Write down the memory in detail to aid
in your visualization.
 
 ● Combine the Timeline with This: Now, envision
your specific, personal timeline, and think about the
present, focusing entirely upon the now. Use your
anchor to call to mind that positive state of flow, and
focus your awareness into your imagined future, as it
follows your perceived time line. Allow this strong,
positive feeling to come with you into the future on your
timeline, and let the emotions settle on events to come
that seem to fit with this feeling. While you are moving
forward, you might notice future experiences that could
use this state.

This, essentially, allows you to positively associated

future memories, so that when they do occur, you’ll feel
prepared and positive, rather than anxious. Practice this
technique at least once a day. Reflect on your
experiences with this technique for reducing anxiety.
 
 
 
This technique, which has been used for more than two
decades, allows you to reprogram your unconscious mind,
releasing negative feelings and self-defeating ideas in a
short period of time. This allows you to finally be free of your
negative past and control how your future will play out. You
can use this to reassign positive feelings to negative past
experiences as well, by focusing on the lessons you learned
from them, or other positive events that came about
because of the past.
 
Conclusion
In this book, you have been given the tools to take control
back over your own mind, life, and emotions. Remember
that, in order to form a new habit, you must faithfully
practice it, every day. Only then will these new and powerful
techniques help you improve yourself. Here are some tips for
making this happen:
 
 
● Keep a Journal: The best way to track your progress
with this journey is to keep a daily journal. It can be
easy to feel as though you aren’t accomplishing
anything without a concrete record that proves how far
you’ve come. Write about the struggles you encounter
each day, as well as your achievements in your path to
beating anxiety.
● Celebrate Success: Remember that, in order to stay
on track with beating anxiety, you should recognize and
celebrate each time you successfully calm yourself
down, or avoid a panic attack. When you take the time
to acknowledge these successes, you are paving the
way for future success, because you’ve proven to
yourself it’s possible and that you can do it.
 
 
Keep in mind the fact that anxiety is a habit, not something
you are stuck with for life. Start using NLP today to become
positive and free from anxiety!
 
 NLP: Depression
 
Techniques for Taking Control
and Increasing Happiness
With Neuro Linguistic
Programming
 
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: What is Depression?
How Does Depression relate to NLP?
Chapter 2: Eliminate Sources of Negativity
Chapter 3: NLP Techniques
Technique 1: Relearning Optimism
Technique 2: Improving Submodalities
Technique 3: Timeline Therapy for Depression
The Body Field Visualization
Timeline Therapy Exercise
Technique 4: Positive Anchoring for Depression
Technique 5: Pattern Interruption for Depression
Technique 6: The Swish Technique for Depression
Technique 7: Loop Breaks for Depression
Chapter 4: Taking Control
Chapter 5: Eliminating Negative Self-Talk
Chapter 6: Tips for Using NLP
Conclusion
 
 
Introduction
 
If you are looking at this book, you may find yourself being
depressed, feeling low about things in your life that you may
not be able to change. However, NLP can help with that!
 
Depression can lead to some pretty serious health issues
later on down the road. Not caring or “giving up” can lead to
places such as you not caring for yourself which will then
result in issues like not eating, or having difficulty with
personal relationships.
 
The NLP techniques that you will learn in this book will help
you get in touch with your psychology, and may therefore
help to work on any negative feelings or negative thought
habits that you may be having. If applied correctly, you will
be able to handle negative emotions in a positive way, so
that you can move on with your life and into a better future.
NLP is going to assist you in getting in touch with your inner
self so that you can change negative patterns that are
affecting you and limiting your happiness. With NLP you are
going to be able to change yourself so that you can pull
yourself out of the dark hole that you may find yourself in
and rediscover yourself and a whole new outlook on life. The
different NLP techniques that you are going to find in this
book can also be combined together to create an effective
regimen that is going to make coping with your depression
easier.
 
Once you have gotten a hold of your depression, you may be
able to help others get a hold of their depression as well. It is
not going to be easy because everyone suffers from varying
levels of depression as well as different causes for their
depression. What works for you may not work for them.
 
In the event that you are helping someone else, you should
be patient so that you do not cause their depression to
worsen. Think of what may cause you to spiral down and do
not do it to them. It may not be the same triggers as what
you have, but it is going to be similar and you are not going
to want to cause someone to get worse when you, yourself
would not want to get worse.
 
DISCLAIMER
The information provided in this book is for information
purposes only. If you are feeling depressed, have been
diagnosed with clinical depression, seek help from a certified
mental health professional before continuing with any of the
exercises in this book.
This information provided is not a replacement for
clinical help from a medical practitioner.
Chapter 1: What is Depression?
 
Depression is defined as: a condition of general or emotional
dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more
prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.
 
Clinical depression is: a depression so severe as to be
considered abnormal, either because of no obvious
environmental causes or because the reaction to unfortunate
life circumstances is more intense or prolonged than would
generally be expected.
 
When looking at someone who is depressed, even if they
have not already been diagnosed as depressed, there are
some symptoms that you are going to be able to see that
may give a warning as to if that person or if you yourself are
depressed. These symptoms include:
 
● Thoughts of suicide or even attempts of suicide.
● The person has a hard time concentrating or making
decisions. In some cases, they also may find that it is
hard to remember details about certain events or
situations that may be important later on.
● They always feel sad, empty or anxious
● They have a decrease in energy and are always tired
● There are aches, pains, cramps, or headaches that
never seem to go away
● The person feels helpless or worthless
● There is overeating or even a loss of appetite
● They may feel hopeless or be pessimistic about life
● There is no interest in the hobbies that they used to
enjoy and this can include sex.
● They wake up early or sleep too long into the day if
they are not seeing that they are not having trouble
 falling asleep.
 
Just like with a lot of things in life, there are different types of
depression that you are going to have to deal with. You could
be diagnosed with atypical depression, major depression,
situational depression, persistent depressive disorder,
premenstrual dysphoric disorder, bipolar disorder,
peripartum depression or postpartum depression, seasonal
affective depression, or even a psychotic depression.
 
Each depression has its own unique qualities and is going to
be different than that last.
 
Major depression means that you feel as if you are
depressed for most of the day for more days then you are
not feeling depressed.
 
Persistent depressive disorder last for two years or longer
and means that you usually have two different conditions
such as dysthymia as well as chronic major depression.
 
Bipolar depression is also known as manic depression where
there are extreme highs and extreme lows to how they are
acting. The low phases of the depression are going to show
signs of major depression.
 
Seasonal affective disorder or SAD is going to be when you
show depression only during certain seasons. More often
than not this happens during the winter months because the
days grow shorter and there is less sunlight. It is usually
gone by the time that summer or spring come around.
 
Psychotic depression usually occurs when people have major
depression but are showing psychotic symptoms.
 
Peripartum or postpartum depression happens shortly after a
woman gives birth.
 
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD is going to be
when depression appears around the time that a woman
starts their period.
 
Situational depression is when a person has difficulty
managing stress in their life around major events such as
death or divorce.
 
Atypical depression occurs when there is a specifier for what
causes the depressive symptoms.
 
There are some factors that may worse depression for the
person experiencing the symptoms.
 
Drugs or medications may produce negative side effects
when someone begins taking a new medication because
they are not used to the effects of the medication. It can also
happen when medication is stopped because the body has to
readjust. Illegal drugs are also going to cause symptoms of
depression.
 
Someone who is physically ill or has certain medical
conditions like AIDS or even cancer can cause depression to
spike. The more life threatening the illness or condition is,
the more it is going to end up affecting one’s lifestyle.
 
Hormonal changes are going to happen naturally, but believe
it or not they are an ignitor for depression. These changes
are going to come during the times that people’s body
changes the most such as during puberty or while being
pregnant.
 
Grief or loss is going to affect everyone differently, however,
there can be a breakdown even when it is something that is
supposed to be good like a marriage.
 
Lifestyle can cause medical conditions depending on what
you do and when you live a life of high stress or you are
unhealthy, then you are going to be at risk for triggering
depression.
 
 
How Does Depression relate to NLP?
 
Before we get started with learning techniques, first let’s ask
what is NLP?
NPL stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. This is a
method for learning how we think and process information.
This system is able to change a person’s behavior by
enabling them with the methods that are necessary to cope
with any situation should it be negative thought patterns or
feelings of depression and guilt. Because of this, people can
cope with these situations in a more positive way so that
they are able to bounce back quicker than they used to.
 
Back in the early seventies, Richard Bandler and John
Grinder, a mathematician and a linguist joined forces to
answer the question of figuring out what caused someone to
be competent at a particular skill while others could excel at
it.
 
Thanks to NLP it has been discovered that a person’s
behavior is able to be changed by using language that is
positive along with that person changing the way that they
think. NLP enables people to change, adapt, or even get rid
of behaviors that are detrimental to them. Doing this helps
to change skills that people are good at along with growing
from the experiences that they have to deal with throughout
their life. NLP offers a specific set of tools that are meant to
help with increasing a person’s quality of life along with
promoting mental development.
 
The brain is a complex organ but we are able to understand
how people think which then helps to improve the way that
we experience things in our life and react to the things that
we normally may not react positively to. There are different
techniques that aid a person in understanding and seeing
the world through a different set of eyes. However, since we
may resist change, changing how our mind is going to
actually work will sometimes result in a negative reaction.
Most of the time, it is going to be able to change how we
cope with negative experiences.
 
There is an old saying “If you always do, what you have
always done, then you will always get what you have always
got.” NLP changes this however because the neurological
responses to negative thoughts is going to change. The
negative response for what happens in life is triggered
whenever someone thinks that there is no other way to deal
with the situation that is at hand.
 
These techniques are not only going to make it easier for you
to cope with your depression, but you are going to be able to
cope with just about any negative feeling that you discover
that you have. All you have to do is focus on a new emotion
when you are using that technique for something different.
 
Depression is often the feeling of feeling like there is nothing
that is going to go right for you. It is a feeling hopelessness
that can overtake your body and drag you down to a place
that you are not sure you are going to be able to get out of.
 
However, NLP techniques are going to help you to cope with
your depression or any other negative emotions that you
may be feeling and is going to increase how often you feel
happy and even the level of happiness that you are feeling.
 
Do not expect that these methods are going to work the first
time. You are going to have to practice to get them to work
for you. And, there may not be strategies that are going to
help you, but if they do not help, there is no need for you to
continue to try and force them to work. If you find one that
works, go with that, if it does not, then do not continue and
move on to a different one.
 
There are going to be times that a combination of techniques
are going to work and that is perfectly okay. It does not
matter what other people think or say, you have to do what
is best for you so that you are able to help yourself with the
depression that you are feeling.
 
Your depression does not have to last forever, you are going
to be able to cope with it and live your life to the fullest.
 
Keep looking for that light at the end of the tunnel so that
you can keep moving forward. You may feel like you are
going through a dark time, but there is a light that is going to
shine through later on and everything is going to be alright
in the end.
Chapter 2: Eliminate Sources of
Negativity
 
Fear is an emotional state that occurs when your brain sees
something as a threat and is going to change how you think
about things. There are different behaviors that happen
when a person is afraid.
 
First of all, when you live in fear you are not going to always
make rational decisions. When you are not making rational
decisions, you are not going to reach your full potential and
you may end up ruining relationships, for example, because
of things like you are scared to go outside and meet with
your friends. After doing that for so long, you may end up
losing all kinds of people in your life and realize that you are
alone because you were too afraid to deal with some of the
things in your life.
 
We live in a society that is dominated by fear. All you have to
do is turn on the television and you can see where there are
people reporting about violent news stories and various
other horrific events that are going to cause you to be afraid.
It is important to realize that the news stations are doing this
because they want to get more ratings. They uses these
tactics such as only reporting on negative events so that you
become engaged in their content more easily. The more you
are engaged by negative content, the more you are going to
watch the show, which is going to drive the ratings up.
 
Turn the news off! Yes, there are things on the news that you
are going to need to know or want to know, but you do not
have to have it on all the time. If there is something that you
want to know such as the weather for the next day, then go
to the news station's website and look at the weather.
 
Since there is so much fear in our society, it is easy to forget
that we can take control of our lives and begin training
ourselves to not be living in a state of fear and negativity.
Our subconscious mind is going to pick up on the fear and
negativity that we see around us and make it worse.
 
Try to make a conscious effort of eliminating sources of
negativity in your life. For example, if you are constantly
watching the news and feeling depressed about all of the
negative events, try to make a point of watching it less and
being aware of how it is affecting you emotionally.
 
Step away from people who are constantly looking for that
hole in their pocket. It is going to be hard because
sometimes these people are your own family, but you do not
have to put yourself around them all of the time. You can
limit how much time you spend with them so that you are
able to make that conscious effort to get rid of the negativity.
 
Identify 2 sources of negativity in your life, and resolve to
minimize their influence over the next week. If we use the
news example, this could mean only catching up on the
news very briefly at the end of the day, instead of watching
hours of news television. The goal is not to be isolated from
what is going on or to live under a rock, but rather to be
aware of how we are being affected emotionally by which
content we choose to consume.
 
 
Now that you have your 2 sources of negativity identified
and have resolved to reduce their impact over the next
week, write down your observations throughout the week of
how reducing these influences has affected your mood. Have
you been more positive? More aware of how everyday stimuli
affects you subconsciously?
 
 
Our subconscious mind actually takes instruction from our
conscious mind and it does not question anything that it is
told. What it is told is taken as truth and thus the proper
action is taken so that the goal that the conscious mind
wants to achieve is done.
 
So, when you are looking at your life, you need to know that
your subconscious mind is not going to work on its own, it
has to have direction given to it so that the appropriate
action can be taken. But, this makes it harder for the brain to
realize what is real and what is not. The best way to help
keep yourself grounded is to keep yourself surrounded by a
positive environment. If you surround yourself with
negativity, then you are going to end up having an even
harder time trying to figure out what is real, and what is not.
 
One example of this is when you are watching the news and
see something bad that happens in your community. To
protect yourself, you put a security system in so that you can
make sure that you are safe even when you are sleeping.
But, when you hear a noise in the middle of the night, you
are not going to know if it is real or not because of this fear.
You are going to just automatically think that someone is
trying to break into your house and thus you are going to go
through the proper steps with what you think is reality being
the reason behind your actions.
 
If we allow fear to take over our you are going to end up
causing yourself to look at the world through that negativity.
When you do this, then the entire world is out to get you.
Your frame of mind is how you are going to look at the world
and sometimes this is going to be limited, but after so long,
it becomes more permanent.
 
Depending on how you are looking at the world is going to
depend on how you experience life. Should you be looking at
the world through a negative filter, then everything that you
experience is going to be bad. It can be something good that
happens to you and you are going to be looking for the next
bad thing to happen. So, instead of looking for the silver
lining, you are looking for the hole in your pocket where all
your change keeps escaping.
 
For example, if you get a new job and you start the training
but are not picking it up as fast as you think that you should
be, then you are going to be looking at this experience not
as a time for you to learn something new and make yourself
better, instead you are going to be expecting the time that
your boss calls you into his office and says that you are fired.
All because you are looking at the world negatively.
 
You are in control of your life, though! In the words of Alice
Walker, “The Most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don’t have any.” While the world around
you may be constantly looking down, that does not mean
that you have to be the same way. To get rid of that
negativity or at least make it to where you are limited to it so
that you do not have to constantly live in fear and negativity,
you can take steps to making your life better.
 
In the end, depression causes you to feel helpless, but this is
not going to be done on its own. All of the negativity that you
see in the world is going to aid in your depression because of
all the fear that you are going to be feeling. You are not
going to be able to protect yourself from everything, no
matter what it is that you do, so you are going to feel
helpless to keep you and your loved ones safe which will
then lead to depression because you cannot keep them safe.
It is a never ending cycle that you are going to find yourself
in and the only way to pull yourself out of it is to get out of
seeing the world in a negative way and start seeing it for
what it truly is.
 
You do not have to look at the world through rose colored
glasses, but you do not need to always search for that hole
in your pocket either. Find the in between and come to the
realization that you are going to be able to control your own
life but not everything in life. Things are going to happen and
there is not always something that you can do to stop them.
 
Chapter 3: NLP Techniques
 
Let’s go over some techniques that can help get us in touch
with the way we process the world. We already know that the
world is a scary place and that we are not going to be able to
change everything about it. But, we can control ourselves
and how we react to the things around us by retraining our
minds.
 
Technique 1: Relearning Optimism
You can take two different people and while each will react to
things in life differently because they have different thinking
processes, you can notice more differences based on their
particular emotional perspectives.
 
If someone is happy most of the time, it is because they
have trained themselves to look at the silver lining in life.
Yes, they are going to have hole in their pocket moments,
but they are not going to focus on these moments because
they know that they are going to pass eventually.
 
Someone who is depressed is going to be focusing on all the
negativity that is in their life and will not have the ability to
see the world for what it truly is. The biggest difference
between these two people is how they look at the world.
 
There are going to be cycles in everyone’s life where they
are going to have everything going for them, but then there
are going to be times that they feel like everything is going
against them. A person who is more optimistic about life is
going to see all of the setbacks that occur to them as
something that is just temporary and that it is going to pass
eventually. This makes that person more resilient and
therefore they are going to be able to bounce back from
whatever bad happens to them faster than someone who is
depressed.
 
A person who is depressed is going to look at their setbacks
as if they are never going to end. Each bad thing that
happens seems to last forever and it doesn’t matter if it only
lasts a day or two or a week, to a person that is depressed,
they are going to think that a day is a month and a week is a
year. It is going to make it seem as if what they are going
through is never going to change but last for the rest of their
lives.
 
They are not going to bounce back from the bad things in
their life nearly as fast as someone who looks for the
positives.
 
When you are depressed, you have learned the pessimism
that you are constantly feeling. It is not something that you
are born with. It is also known as permanent pervasive
pessimism which is learned helplessness. You can avoid this
learned helplessness however.
 
The biggest difference between an optimist or a pessimist is
that a optimistic person knows how to explain themselves
whenever something bad happens to them. They are able to
talk about it and this is what empowers them to be able to
look for the silver lining in the world around them.
 
Someone who is a permanent pervasive pessimist is not
going to be able to talk about what they are going through
and this is going to cause them to be stuck in the rut that
they are finding themselves in.
 
The first step in being able to stop this learned helplessness
is to recognize the patterns that are going to put you in this
situation in the first place. When you begin to see that you
are constantly looking at the bad in life then you are going to
be leading yourself down the road to learned helplessness.
But, you can get past this with a little bit of help thanks to
NLP.
 
Some examples of this are to remember that all the negative
events are only temporary and they are only going to be
specific to the situation that you are dealing with. Negative
events like going through a period in your job where you are
not getting the hours that you are used to, it is only going to
be temporary. Even if you have to find another job to make
sure that you get the hours that you need, you are going to
be able to find them and keep making the money that you
are used to.
 
It is unavoidable, you are going to be faced with challenges
in your life. However, how you deal with the situation is
going to be based on your thought process when it comes to
that challenge. Everything in your life can either be good or
bad depending on how you look at it.
 
Here is an example of how to put this technique in action.
The next time you encounter a challenge, think of it an
opportunity for growth. Follow these steps:
 
Step one: Accept that you are going through the challenge.
Most people tend to try and make the problem smaller than
it actually is or they dismiss it because they do not want to
accept it as happening. But, in order to get past it, you have
to be able to accept that there is a challenge and that you
need to overcome it. Write down a brief description of the
problem at hand.
 
Step two: Take action. No challenge is ever going to be
fixed by sitting around doing nothing. So, make a plan that is
going help you to overcome this challenge so you can put it
into action. Make a list of at least 3 action steps to get to a
more positive outcome.
 
Step three: Look at all the information that you have about
the situation. What resources can you use to get past this?
Figuring out the resources that are going to help you best is
going to be one of the best ways for you to be able to know
what it is that you need to do to get past this challenge. For
example, if you are having trouble grasping a concept, then
you should go to a coworker and see if they know how to
explain it in a different way so that you are able to
understand it. Talk to people who are going to be able to help
you to understand what is going on in your life. If you are
having problems at work or school, talk to your boss or your
teacher so that you are able to get it worked out. You may
find that friends and family can offer good advice as well.
 

 
Step four: Not sure what else you can do? Research! The
internet is full of people that have gone through similar
situations as you and they are going to have the appropriate
information needed for you to get past this. Not just that, but
you are going to be able to find books that are going to help
you out as well if that is the route that you feel like going.
This is a good way to help you not feel like you are the only
person in the world going through this.
 
Step five: Look at all the possibilities of all of the choices
that you have. Each choice is going to lead to a different
result and you need to know what some of the outcomes are
going to be based on what choice you make. Identify and
write down some of your options.

 
Step six: Sometimes you are going to need a mentor to help
you get through your challenge. Find someone that you are
able to talk to or get advice from. This does not have to be
an actual person, it can be a website or even a book. But, if
you are talking to someone, make sure that you are able to
trust them with what you are saying and know that they are
going to truly be there to help you instead of just saying stuff
that is not going to do you any good.
 
Step seven: Track your challenge. Keep a record of how you
are progressing with your action steps to a more positive
outcome.

 
Step eight: Evaluate where you are, and if you are not
where you want to be, keep on trying. Keep trying different
solutions until you find the one that is right for you.

 
Technique 2: Improving Submodalities
A submodality is an NLP term for a representational system
that we use to process information. In essence, it is the way
we organize information in our mind, and remember what
was felt, heard, tasted, or imagined so that we are able to
remember a larger picture instead of just the basics.
 
Submodalities are the things that are going to stick with you
as you go about your life and experience different things.
The three main ones that everyone remembers the most are
auditory, visual, and kinesthetic because these are the
three main ways that people learn when they are in school or
at work.
 
As you go about experiencing things in your life, you are
going to access past experiences and draw on them later in
life - even if you do not know what you are doing. Sometimes
these memories are buried so deep that it takes a whole new
meaning when you remember something from that memory.
 
Auditory learners are going to learn from the things that
they hear. So, when they are experiencing things in life, they
are going to organize and access memories based on
remembering things that they heard. These types of people
are going to remember the volume, pitch, clarity, and
location of what it is that they heard. So, for example, if they
were at a house fire, they are going to remember how the
sirens on the rescue vehicles sounded.
 
Kinesthetic people will remember how things felt. They
have to touch things or feel things to be able to remember
them better. The way that something vibrated, where that
object was located, things of that nature. Going back to the
house fire example, someone who remembers things
kinesthetically is going to better remember the temperature
of the flames as the leaped off of the building and maybe
even the way that the jacket of their loved one felt as they
clutched to them, forever glad that they were still alive and
unharmed.
 
Lastly, Visual people are going to access memories primarily
based on how things looked. The patterns, where things were
physically located, things like that. Once again, if you go to
the house fire, a visual person is going to remember the
colors of the flames, where the flames were the highest, and
where everything was located on the street such as where
the rescue vehicles had parked in order to make sure that
they were putting forth the most effort to get rid of the
flames.
 
Understanding which submodality you are will help you to
understand the chemical changes in your brain that happen
when you are experiencing something. You can control you
experiences internally which will lead to having more
flexibility in your thinking.
 
Visual
If someone is sitting in a waiting room in a doctor’s office
looking around, they may notice that there is a picture on
the wall that focuses on a field of colorful flowers. In the
background, though slightly fuzzy, they are going to see a
little cabin. This will shape the experiences that they have
later on in life because this may be what they go back to
whenever they are having a hard time. Or, they are going to
remember it each time that they go to the doctor’s office
which is ultimately going to end up making their visit to the
doctor somewhat pleasant.
 
Kinesthetic
A different person in the waiting room of the doctor’s office is
not going to notice the picture that the visual person noticed.
Instead, they are going to remember how the chairs felt.
Perhaps they felt scratch against the back of their legs and
were unable to get comfortable in them because they were
not the soft chairs like some waiting rooms have. This will
shape this person’s experience because they are not
necessarily going to want to go back to the doctor’s office
because they were not able to get comfortable while waiting
to see the doctor.
 
Auditory
An auditory person is going to hear everything that is going
on in the office. If there is a baby crying that does not stop
crying the entire time that this person is waiting for the
doctor, then they are not going to want to go back to the
doctor’s office because they remember the high pitch squeal
of the baby as they screamed when their parent was not fast
enough to give them what it is that they were wanting.
 
When you are feeling depressed, it is easy to turn all of your
experiences into a negative one and it is then stored in the
submodalities that are impactful. In other words, they are
going to end up distancing themselves from other people
because they are going to automatically going to assume
that any experiences that they have are going to be
negative. It does not mean that every experience that they
have is negative, but they are going to assume that because
the depression puts a damper on everything in their life
 
The critical submodalities that you experience are going to
have a large scale effect on how things happen. These
submodalities are going to be different from person to
person because each person is going to experience
something different in their life and react to it in a different
way.
 
In this section, we are going to go over the steps that you
need so that you are able to identify the submodalities in
your own life.
 
Step one: Identify a Positive Submodality
The first step in identifying the critical submodalities in your
life is to think of a positive experience that you have had in
your life. For example, maybe you can think back to a time
at work that you were extremely happy or even when you
got your first pet and how it felt when you brought that pet
home.
 
Next you are going to identify the submodalities that you
went through in that experience. What did you hear, see, or
feel? Which one do you relate to the most? The one that you
relate to the most is going to be the one that you are going
to base all of your experiences off of in how you are going to
remember them. Write these down in detail.

 
The best way to make this submodality more significant is to
focus on the details that are going to be significant for that
event. What did you hear? What did you see? What did you
feel? Whichever one that you feel most connected to is going
to be the one that you are going be able to call forth the
most. So, if you are able to recall all of the sounds that you
heard instead of what you saw or felt, then you are going to
be someone who summarizes their experiences based on
what they hear.
 
Step two: Identify a Negative Submodality
This time, instead of focusing on something that is positive,
now you are going to want to focus on something that you
experienced that is negative. This can be a death in your
family or the loss of your favorite pet.
 
Now, what do you feel? Or what did you hear when you had
this experience? Write down this information in detail.

 
At this point in time you are going to want to make that
submodality lessen so you are going to want to try and
replace the feelings that you are having with other feelings.
It is going to be hard, especially if you are experiencing
depression. To lessen the feelings that you are having, you
should try and focus on what was going on around the time
that the event occurred, maybe you are going to be able to
find something that you missed the first time because you
may not have noticed them before due to the fact that you
were too focused on what was happening instantly.
 
When you are feeling that you are focusing more on the
negative, you should stop and take about five minutes to
yourself so that you are able to find your focus again. It is
not going to be easy, but the more that you practice it, the
easier it is going to become.
 
Taking time for yourself is not only important to your mental
health, but it is also important to make sure that you are
able to look at the events that you have experienced and
how you responded to them. Sometimes you will come to
realize that you did not react the best way, but this is not
always going to be your choice. Some situations are going to
require that you take a step back and realize that you
reacted in the moment because that was all that you were
offered.
 
Taking time for yourself is also more time for you to reflect
on what experiences that you have gone through that are
negative. This is going to be a time that is similar to when
you are trying to figure out what steps you need to take to
take control of your situation, however, this is more of a time
to reflect on what is going on rather than what you should or
should not do.
Technique 3: Timeline Therapy for
Depression
 
When you are depressed, you are going to lean more
towards the experiences that you had in the past. It is all
part of the natural cycle of being depressed. Because of your
depression, you are going to look at the world as if it is
unchangeable and therefore you are not going to be
influence the world so that it can be changed no matter what
it is that you are going to do
 
Depression makes it hard for you to realize that the world is
only going to give you negative experiences and you are
going to pull away from everyone even if they are your loved
ones because you are not going to think that they are going
to be able to give you a positive experience.
 
The Body Field Visualization
 
Whether you realize it or not, there is an electromagnetic
field that is surrounding your body. As the energy goes
between your brain and the nervous system, this magnetic
field is created. All of the nerves in your body also assist in
the complex magnetic field that is surrounding your body.
Just like when you go into the hospital and they look at your
heart, they are looking at the electromagnetic field that
surrounds your heart.
 
Every culture is going to look at the body differently. It all
goes back to how they looked at it in civilizations from
ancient times.
 
Some of the Native American cultures in the Southeast used
waves in their paintings to demonstrate the electromagnetic
field that the body naturally produces because this
wavelength is going to occur naturally and is all part of our
natural environment. They acknowledged the intimacy and
interdependence that the body has on nature and the
environment around it.
 
Some civilizations referred to the magnetic field as an aura
and that can be traced back all the way to the beginning of
civilization. Many auras are considered to be like halos of
color that are going to glow around someone’s head. But,
when you look at the Egyptian culture, they are going to see
that the aura is going to cover the full body of someone.
 
China thought that the aura or magnetic field was Chi and in
India they call it prana. Even so, in the Hindu culture, they
thought that the magnetic field was considered to be held for
those who had achieved full enlightenment.
 
When you are visualizing the magnetic field that is around
your body, you should try and visualize it as a sphere that is
going to go around your body in every direction, basically
encompassing you in a sphere. Since there are nerves in
almost every part of your body, you are going to have the
field going around your body bouncing out of one nerve into
another.
 
Everything that you are going to see in front of your body is
going to be considered your active awareness. This
awareness is active because you are able to see it and know
what is coming. It is much like when you are driving a car,
you are able to see everything that is in front of you, so you
are actively paying attention to the road in front of you
because you can see it. Not only that, but everything that is
in front of you can be changed, it is your future.
 
On the other hand, everything that is behind you is
considered an inactive awareness. This is because you can
no longer see it. Think of it as your past. You cannot see your
past anymore and you cannot change it, so it is inactive in
your life. Yes, you are going to be dealing with some of the
mistakes that you made in the past, however, there is not
anything that you are going to be able to do about it
because it is behind you.
 
Much like it has already been explained, what is in front of us
is the future and what is currently going on in our life. Look
at it as if you are trying to achieve a goal. You are going to
go through all of the steps that are necessary to making sure
that the goal is achieved in the way that you are wanting it
to be achieved. As long as we are thinking about it, it is
going to be an active part of our lives. But, at the point in
time that we no longer are reaching for the goal or have
achieved it, they are going to have it put behind us by our
subconscious. Being that we are no longer thinking about it,
it instantly becomes an inactive part of our lives. Therefore,
if we think about something that we have put behind us, it is
going to become part of our active life once more until we
can file it behind us and get rid of it again.
 
One example of active awareness is if you are reaching for a
promotion at work. In order to get that promotion, you are
going to go through a series of steps that are going to aid
you in getting to that promotion. Whether you get it or not is
not necessarily going to be your choice, but it is still
something that you are going to reach for. As long as it is
something that you are focusing on, then you are going to be
keeping it in your active awareness.
 
An example of inactive awareness is going to be the fight
that you had with your spouse. While it may take a while for
you to forget about the things that were said in the
argument out of anger, you are eventually going to get over
it and file it away as no longer important. Once that step has
been achieved, then your brain will put it behind you so that
you no longer have to think about it. While it may come back
to an active awareness should you get in a fight with them
again, it is not going to come to your mind until that moment
arrives.
 
Since when you are depressed, it is going to be easy to focus
on the negative, you are going to focus on the things that
are inactive mainly because the bad experiences in your life
are going to be there in the inactive part of your brain as
well. Just like with the fight that you had with your spouse in
an earlier example, you are going to remember all of the
hateful words that were said by your spouse because you are
going to feel as if the fight never ended.
 
While this is completely untrue, it is hard for your brain to let
go of the negative experience thanks to the depression that
you are feeling. The words that were said are going to
continue to circle your brain and therefore what you think is
inactive in your awareness, is actually going to be active
because of your thought process constantly bringing it up.
 
Timeline Therapy Exercise
 
Timeline therapy is going to be a treatment that is going to
make user surrender any and all negative emotions that they
are feeling to any experiences that they have had in the past
on an unconscious level. Usually the user is going to see
their life as if it is in a photo album and they are going to see
everything that they have gone through. But, with this
therapy they are going to be allowed to see what images
belong to the past and those that go to the future. In
essence, it is a mechanism that is going to change how the
person things inwardly therefore changing how they act
outwardly.
 
This is helpful because it is changing how a person thinks
about the negative experiences in their life. Timeline therapy
is a useful tool because it helps someone who is dealing with
depression by aiding them in pulling themselves out of the
past and thinking that they are never going to have a
positive experience, and making it to where they are more
open to what could happen in their life.
 
One example of how timeline therapy works could be a
situation where someone who has been in an abusive
relationship in the past and does not get into another
relationship because they think that all relationships are
going to be abusive. While most people know this is not true,
some people do not because of how much abuse they have
been put through. With timeline therapy, they are going to
see all of the abuse that they have been through in their life
and be able to separate the abuse they have been through
into the past and therefore making it inactive. As a result,
they will be able to move forward past their bad experiences
and a happy and positive relationship. The person who is
going through the therapy will be able to accept that they
are going to find someone who is not abusive and that they
are perfectly capable of having the life that they have been
dreaming of.
 
Thanks to timeline therapy, while the memories of abuse are
not going to be erased completely, they will no longer
control their life. This is a great thing because it is going to
enable this person to open up to the world around them so
that they do not have to cut themselves off and live in a self-
limiting way.
 
Timeline therapy works best when done by a licensed
therapist! It may take a few sessions, but eventually, the
person that has been in abusive relationships is going to be
able to get back out there and put themselves into the
dating world and hopefully find someone who is good for
them.
 
Try this to get an idea of how Timeline Therapy can work:
 
Step one: Bring forth a memory that is not a bad one, but it
still should have some negative emotions attached to it. An
example might be remember a time when you failed a test in
school or maybe lost something that was really important to
you.
 
Step two: Hold on to that memory but do not go into too
much detail. Here’s the brain science of how technique
works: The thalamus and frontal lobe is going to send signals
to the hippocampus and every piece of your limbic system
so that you are able to pull this negative memory forward in
your brain. Your hippocampus is the one that stores that
memory and it is going to bring up the pictures that are
associated with the memory. You may even see a video of
the moments that surround the memory. Your amygdala is
going to push the emotions that are associated with that
memory forward and make your body believe that you are
going through it again even though you are not. The
amygdala cannot tell the difference between a fresh memory
and an old memory, so this is going to bring a little push for
the reminder of how you felt in this situation. Being that it is
a negative memory, the emotions are probably going to be
negative as well.
 
It is believed that since your emotions are in a different part
of the brain from the memories, you are only referencing the
emotions that you felt during that time. Therefore, you
should be able to change the emotions of that memory.
 
Step three: Framing is going to be applied to those
memories that are negative in context. By reframing, you
can help change the emotions that are associated with that
memory. Just like earlier when you recalled a bad memory,
you are going to use that same memory as you go through
these steps to learn the framing technique.
 
First, reduce the memory down from a series of pictures to
that of a single image that best represents the memory that
you have chosen. Try and put yourself into a third person
view for your memory. You have already lived the memory,
but you are going to want to step away from the memory
and try and get a different perspective on it.
 
After you have taken a different perspective on it, take your
mental image and turn it into that of what might resemble
an old photo. It should be black and white and even a little
out of focus so that you can see what is in the image, but it
is not as clear as it previously was.
 
At this point in time, you are going to place a frame around
that picture of the memory that you have chosen. It can be
any type of frame that you desire to see that picture in and
you can change the image’s textures so that it matches the
frame. If it is an old frame, you can turn it into a picture that
looks as if it was painted on a canvas.
 
Now, insert that picture into a crowded restaurant on the
wall or into an art gallery where millions of other people can
see it. Try and imagine how others would react to it as they
passed it by. Most of the time, people are not going to do
anything more than glance at it and keep moving.
 
When you place it in this kind of situation, are you still
feeling the same negative feelings that you felt before?
Chances are that they have lessened because you are away
from the memory and seeing that it is not affecting other
people as it has affected you.
 
Each time that you practice this technique, the easier it is
going to be for you reduce your feelings of that memory.
When you can effectively detach yourself from the memory
and the emotions that come with it, you are finding that it is
just a picture of something that happened in the past and
your mind is going to weaken any links to the emotions that
are tied to that memory.
Technique 4: Positive Anchoring for
Depression
Anchoring assists in enabling the user of this technique to
bring about an emotional state or into a frame of mind that
is positive. Anchoring is usually associated with gestures,
words, or even touching an object so that the user can
anchor themselves to that particular emotion and recall it at
a later date.
 
Step 1: When using this technique, take a moment to focus
on recalling a memory that made you very happy. This time
can be something simple such as winning a sports game, or
it can be something big like getting married or when your
child/children were born. Write down this memory in detail to
help solidify it in your mind.

 
Step 2: As you remember the moments that lead up to this
happy moment, recall every detail that you can so that you
can relive the story and bring that feeling forward as vividly
as possibly. Feel the memory as if it were really happening.
The more detail the better!
 
Step 3: Now that you can recall the memory clearly and in
detail, add a tactile ‘anchor’. While recalling the memory,
you should take your right hand and squeeze your index and
middle fingers together quickly two times in a row. (This can
also be another tactile sensation on your body, if you
choose, for example touching your earlobe. Just make sure
you are consistent with whatever your choose.) During that
second squeeze, the image that you have drawn forth needs
to overtake your mental image so that you can cause the
feeling that you are having to intensify. Really imaging the
image that triggers happiness becoming very vivid, as if you
are tuning up the volume on the emotion.
 
Step 4: Now after practicing this several times, you will
have programmed that tactile sensation with that positive
emotion of happiness. Whenever you squeeze those fingers
together now, the feeling should come to you instantly.
However, don’t forget that you are going to have to repeat
this process several times so that you can get your body to
realize what you are training it to do. When you have
practiced this technique, try using your anchor the next time
you start to feel sad or depressed. What do you notice? Do
you feel the positive emotion returning? Allow it to wash over
you and take away your negative emotion. Record your
reflections on the effectiveness of this technique.
 
This is not the only way that you are going to create an
anchor to a happy feeling that you can call upon when things
get tough. As you progress through using this technique, you
are going to use this same method so that you can recall this
feeling and not have to worry about it not working.
 
The anchoring method will aid you in associating the two
squeezes of your fingers with the feeling of being happy.
Being that the more you practice, the easier things get, the
same is true with this strategy. The more that you practice
the two squeezes, the easier it is going to be for your mind
to bring that feeling forward and allow it to overtake your
senses.
 
Anchoring does not have to be done by itself. You can use it
with other NLP strategies in order to cause that feeling to be
easier to recall. In other words, you are going to be
conditioning your brain to do what you are wanting it to do
so that you can reject the negative feelings that life is going
to throw at you.
 
Another way of conceptualizing this technique is to look at
an animal’s behaviour. Animals can be trained that when
they hear a specific sound such as the rattling of their food
bowls or a can being opened, that they are going to be fed.
Even when this is not something that you are doing for them,
they are still going to associate the noise with the fact that
they are supposed to be getting fed. It is the anchoring
technique, but it is seen in animals rather than humans.
 
When you are feeling depressed or like there is nothing left
to do in a negative situation, this strategy is going to assist
in changing your course thinking so that you can draw your
attention off of what is happening. It is not going to stop
what is happening, but it is going to make it easier for you to
clear your mind and make the proper decision.
Technique 5: Pattern Interruption for
Depression
While using the pattern interruption technique, keywords are
going to be placed into your mind on an unconscious level.
This is a good technique that can be used with anchoring.
Through the use of pattern interruption, someone is going to
be drawn in by an inner monologue or their train of thought
that happens to follow a pattern that they may not realize is
going on. Your unconsciousness is going to anxiously
anticipate the next part of the pattern even if the part of the
mind that you can control is preoccupied with something
else.
 
For example, say that you have two people that you have to
give directions to. One person is going to be the one who is
going to make all of the decisions while the other one is
going to perform the actions that are necessary based on the
decisions that are made.
 
If we ask person A to go wash our car, this person is going to
have to make the decision of what is going to be needed to
wash a car before they ask person B to get a bucket filled
with soap and water along with a couple of wash clothes.
Think of person A as the conscious mind that gives
instructions, and person B as the unconscious mind that
carries out instructions.
 
Next, we are going to once again ask person A go wash the
car. In order to make sure that this gets done, person A is
going to walk person B through a series of instructions.
Everything is going to get done, but before the car is rinsed
off, the bucket is going to be picked up and thrown onto
person A.
 
Everyone knows that to completely wash a car you have to
rinse the soap off of it, but the pattern in your brain has been
interrupted by what you know is supposed to happen, even
before the command has been given to do what has to be
done.
 
Thanks to the bucket being thrown on person A, they will
have forgotten that the car needs to be rinsed off, but
person B has not forgotten because they know that it has to
be done in order for the car to be finished. However, person
B is not allowed to question person A so they are going to
have to keep worrying that this final step is not going to be
done despite the fact that they know it has to be done.
 
To keep the pattern interrupted, person A can be requested
to go make a sandwich instead of finishing with the car.
Person B is going to be told to do this, even though they
know that the first task has yet to be finished, but they are
going to go do the new task regardless.
 
The purpose behind pattern technique is to get someone to
forget about what they were doing in the first place and get
them to do something different. The subconscious part of the
mind is going to know that other tasks have not been
completed, but it is not going to be able to do the tasks that
need to be done because it has no control over what the
body does.
 
How can you use this in conjunction with the Anchoring
technique? Simple. Each time you feel yourself beginning to
engage in a negative thought cycle, simply Pattern Interrupt
your subconscious mind (who will by default make you think
more and more negative thoughts), and instead use the NLP
Anchoring technique to interrupt the cycle with a happy
emotional state!
 
Give this technique a try the next time you start to feel
depressed, and write down your reflections.

 
Technique 6: The Swish Technique for
Depression
When attempting to replace something that is unpleasant
such as a behavior or an emotion, you can use the Swish
Technique. The swish method is going to require that you be
creative, but it is going to assist in making things that you do
not want to do more pleasant to do. Things such as eating
foods that are going to be good for you or getting up and
exercising more.
 
Using swish is much like copying and pasting something in
your computer, except you are doing it with your brain. You
are going to take a memory or part of that memory and you
are going to cover it with a different memory.
 
It does not matter what memory you are thinking of, there
are going to be a series of emotions that are going to be tied
to it, be it good or bad. By using this strategy, you will be
editing those emotions that are tied to that memory by
changing the memory to something different.
 
So, when you get that new job and you are about to start,
the feelings of worry and anxiousness are not anything that
is not new. But, these feelings are able to cause others to
notice and they could end up not talking to you thus making
your first day horrible. And, when you do not have someone
to befriend, then you are going to feel as if you are not
wanted at work even if you know that you are doing the job
properly.
 
To replace that feeling of worry you will use the Swish
method to change that worry into a feeling of confidence.
You got hired for a reason, and that reason is because you
were qualified for the job.
 
To use this strategy, follow these few easy steps.
 
Step 1: Think of a positive memory. Locate a different
moment in time where you were able to feel confident and
focus on that feeling. Recall it vividly, and write it down in
detail to help you visualize it.

 
Step 2: Re-live the positive emotions that are associated
with the memory that you have chosen. At any point in time
that you begin to feel worried, all you have to do is move
back to the memory of feeling confident.
 
Step 3: Focus on that confident feeling so that you can bring
it forth and begin to feel it once again. Visualize that
confident memory for at least 5 minutes.
 
Step 4: While thinking of that positive emotion, your brain is
going to release endorphins so that you start to feel good!
 
Step 5: Keeping your good memory in mind, move on to
pulling a negative memory from the bank of memories that
you have stored in your mind.
 
Step 6: It is going to be easy to allow the negative emotions
take over, but do not worry about that. Instead,
 
Step 7: Move back to your positive memory. Focus intently
on your visualization.
 
Step 8: You may not have pulled all of the feelings that you
had during your negative memory, but that is alright; you
are trying to imagine those negative feelings and replace
them with your good ones.
 
Step 9: Focus on the positive emotions while moving back
to that bad memory once more.
 
Step 10: Each time that you bring the bad memory up, but
you are going to retain those good feelings a bit more.
 
Step 11: Keep focusing on those positive memories as you
go back and forth on the memories. If at any point in time
that you feel that those negative feelings are going to take
over, switch back to your good memory once more.
 
Step 12: Do this until you discover that you are not feeling
anything but positive memories when it comes to the bad
memory.
 
Continue to switch back and forth between the two until you
get to the point that your positive emotion takes place of the
negative one. With practice you will be able to switch that
worried emotion to an emotion of confidence in the moment,
anytime you begin to feel negative emotions.
 
Technique 7: Loop Breaks for Depression
 
This technique is still experimental but it is going to enable
you to change or even stop processes that are going on in
your mind either on a conscious or subconscious level. To do
this, you are going to break the process that your body is
naturally going to do to loop your emotions during specific
instances. These emotions are going to geared more towards
emotions like depression or depression.
 
NLP is going to give the control that is needed to change
behaviors that need to be changed. It can also be used to
help someone else control their behavior if needed.
 
Most of the negative emotions like depression are going to
be triggered by an outside force. For example, some people
experience depression whenever they begin to think about
the bills that are going to be due by the next pay day. You
know that money is going to be tight and you are not sure
what else is going to come up that is going to cause you to
not be able to pay all of your bills on time and make sure
everything and everyone is taken care of until the next pay
day. However, before payday, you are going to have an
unexpected bill come up which is going to cause your
depression level to rise.
 
Placing blame on that unexpected bill is going to make you
feel better for a moment, but it is not going to be productive
and nothing is going to be accomplished such as pushing a
bill off until your next payday. Even with all the depression
that is going through your body, it is hard to think straight
about what has to be done in order to make sure this bill is
taken care of.
 
In the end, the depression has caused you to get so upset
that you do not even think about the bill that you have to
pay at a later date so that you can pay the bill that you have
to pay right now.
 
Whenever you are placed into a high emotional state such as
depression or anxiety, a loop begins that goes between your
body, your memory receptors, and your amygdala. The
frontal lobes of our brain are completely bypassed in this
process even though they are the ones that are responsible
for moderating our behavior.
 
Your body is going to cause your temperature to rise and
your muscles to become tense.
 
Your memory is going to match the feeling you are having in
your body with the appropriate emotion from past memories.
Such as times that you felt depressed in a similar
circumstance.
 
The amygdala is going to examine those negative memories
and then bring the feelings that are associated with those
memories. Along with depression, you may begin to feel
fear, guilt, resentment, or a number of other emotions that
you felt in other situations such as this.
 
Finally, your hypothalamus is going to get your body ready
for the depression that it is going to experience. Your heart
rate is going to increase and your blood pressure may rise as
a result.
 
But, there is a way that you can break the loop! You may
have heard that you should always count to ten before you
reply to anything when you are angry. Well, pausing before
reacting is one important way that you can break the loop.
You are going to be forcing your frontal cortex back into your
thought process so that it can do what it is supposed to do
and control your behavior before you do something that you
are going to end up regretting.
 
To get your frontal lobe involved in the process once more
you are going to need to force your body to experience a
different emotion or response. Just as it was stated, you can
count to ten, or you can have a thought that is going to be
considered your “comfort thought” that is going to be there
for you to fall back on whenever things are feeling beyond
your control.
 
The comfort thought can be anything that is going to calm
you down. If you have big plans to go fishing coming up, that
can be your thought. Or your thought can be about your
spouse that is at home or your pets. Anything that is going to
force you to stop and change the direction that your
thoughts are going. One of the biggest things that you are
going to want to happen is that you want that thought to
bring a good response around. You may end up laughing at
the situation that you are in or making fun of it, but this is
going to make you more powerful than the situation because
you are going to be controlling your emotions and not
allowing them to overtake you.
 
Therefore, you have broken the loop that your body is going
to naturally go through.
Chapter 4: Taking Control
 
As we discussed, depressed people are more likely to have a
mindset which can be described as ‘permanent, pervasive,
and explanatory.’ In other words, they assume that an
outcome is inevitable, there is nothing they can do to change
it, and therefore they will just suffer the consequences.
These consequences are not always going to be something
that is productive for your frame of mind. Sometimes the
depression will be so bad that it actually begins to cause
other health problems for the person who is experiencing the
depression.
 
To quote Dr. Phil - “The secret to happiness is to finish what
you start”. The best way to gain confidence is not
necessarily to achieve something you thought was
impossible, and certainly not to be better at something than
someone else. It is simply to finish what you start. This does
not have to be something big. In fact, when you are suffering
from depression, it is actually better to start with something
small. Get up in the morning and make your bed. Take the
trash out. Do something that is going to make you feel as
though you have accomplished something that is productive
and you are going to feel better about yourself in the long
run.
 
This is called creating rapport with yourself. If we are in a
habit of not doing the things we say we are going to do, then
this habit becomes ingrained in our subconscious.
Eventually, we will have very little faith in yourself that we
can accomplish anything at all. As a result, we feel helpless
and unproductive. The more productive that you begin to
feel, the easier it is going to be for you to keep doing things
that are going to be productive.
 
Just like it was said with the quote from Dr. Phil, even if you
start out small, you are going to be able to start going to
doing the things that are harder. Sooner or later you are
going to begin to feel as if the world is not closing in on you
and you are going to feel better about yourself.
 
Reversing the process of feeling helpless is easy and is going
to be as simple as setting a daily habit. You do not have to
have a daily habit like everyone else. In fact, as long as it is
personal to you and something that you are able to do, the
better! Do not make it something that is impossible to do
and make sure that it is something that you cannot help but
do every day. Once again this is something like making your
bed or going for a short walk. You are going to come to
realize that while these tasks seem easy, after a while, you
are going to begin to feel better about yourself as you stick
to your goal of accomplishing them every day.
 
When you are depressed, it is easy to begin to lose sight of
what is going on around you and then the fact that doing
things like brushing your teeth become more difficult. Even
though you may not feel as if you can keep doing this, you
need to or else you are going to slip deeper into your
depression.
 
The better you do at keeping to your habit, the better you
are going to build a rapport with yourself and the more you
are going to be able to trust yourself. This is going to lead to
you doing more and more things because you are going to
be able to trust yourself completely and it is going to help
pull you from your depression.
 
Now let’s take a look at some steps that you can take for
choosing a habit.
 
Step one: Look at your daily life and try and find a small,
positive habit that you will not find hard to do on a daily
basis.
 
Step two: Once you have chosen your habit, write it down
so that you are able to keep track of everything that
happens in the week. You may even wish to get a journal to
keep detailed track of your progress.

 
Step three: Every day, reaffirm your intention to do what
you have promised yourself that you are going to do.
 
Step four: As you go through your days, keep track of your
journey in this exercise. What did you encounter as you did
your habit? Was it difficult for you to start keeping up with
doing this habit? Were there any difficulties or resistance
that you encountered? Did it become easier for you to do
your habit as the week went on?
 
Step five: Keep up with your habit. Notice that it may
become easier to trust yourself to complete other tasks in
life, because you are beginning to prove your ability to do
what you have promised yourself.
 
When you feel comfortable and completely confident that
you can continue your habit, try adding something new so
that you are able to keep going on and build a bigger rapport
with yourself. Make sure that you keep track of your habits
with the journal that you have started. The journal is going to
be what helps you to understand where your limits are so
that you do not go past what you are ready to do.
Chapter 5: Eliminating Negative
Self-Talk
 
Negative self talk is something that everyone is going to
experience. Some examples of negative self talk are:
 
- I cannot do this
- I am stupid and cannot learn this
- I already failed once, I am going to fail again.
- When I fail, I am never going to achieve what I want to.
- Why do I even bother?
- Why am I even trying so hard?
 
To quote the Buddha - “The mind is everything, what you
think you become” so, whatever it is that you think you are,
you are going to become that. Your mind is a very powerful
tool and it is going to be the basis for everything that you
are going to go through.
 
Auditory digital is going to be how you process the words
that someone uses to speak to you. Language is what is
used to describe anything else that goes on with the other
sense that you are going to be dealing with. When it comes
to NLP auditory digital is not going to be the only
representational system that you are going to deal with.
 
Your kinesthetic loop is how you are going to keep learning
by feeling. This is just one of the other representational
systems that you are going to deal with. Touching things
usually helps most people to remember details better,
however this is not the case for everyone.
 
First, the person feels unpleasant feeling which is part of the
kinesthetic loop, then they engage in negative thinking
about how this feeling will last and probably never go away.
This is also where depression starts. Then they move on to
how it is inevitable which is going to be the dialog that they
will have internally. There is not going to be any good that
comes out of this dialog because it is all going to be
negative. Next, they find that they feel much worse off and
the cycle perpetuates until they find it within themselves or
someone gives them the help that they need in order to stop
the cycle.
 
The more someone engages in this pattern, the more likely
they will engage in it frequently. Therefore, the best way to
change this is to start the process of changing this habit. Just
like it was discussed earlier, it is not going to be hard, but it
is not going to be as simple as waking up in the morning
either. You are going to have to keep going with your habit to
be able to keep it up as well.
 
These are the steps that you are going to need to use in
order to get past the negative self talk so that you are able
to better your life.
 
Step one: Look at the thoughts that you are having and if
they are negative, acknowledge that they are indeed
negative thoughts and not going to do anything for you.
 
Step two: Every time you find yourself thinking something
negative, simply resolve to reject that thought. At first, this
may not be easy, but with time you will not have to work so
hard at it; you will simply fall into the habit of rejecting
negative thoughts.
 
Step three: Engage in positive self-talk. The more that you
hear it, the easier it is going to be for you to believe it. Tell
yourself that you are good enough and that you are smart
enough. If those are not the things that are going through
your head, then determine what the negative thoughts are
saying and turn it around so that it fits what you are feeling.
 
Step four: Repeat this process for all of the negative
thoughts that you are having. In essence, you are rewiring
your psychology and in doing so you are going to change the
way that you think.
 
Chapter 6: Tips for Using NLP
Using NLP may be a different and new experience for you at
first, but there are some tips that you can use to get NLP to
be easier for you to understand. NLP is going to transform
the way that you think though doing this is not going to
happen overnight. You are going to have to take some time
to learn how to change how you think.
 
Tip one: The ‘why’ question is a question that many people
cannot help but ask and it is ultimately going to get you
nowhere because you are not always going to be able to
figure out why things happen. Sometimes things just happen
because things happen. A question that is going to be more
efficient is going to be to figure out how you can solve the
issue at hand.
 
Tip two: Your behavior is rarely going to be wrong. However,
you can use that behavior and possibly use it in the wrong
context. For example, if you are scared to be around sharp
objects because of something that happened in your past,
that is a fear that is going to be perfectly acceptable. But, it
is not going to be acceptable if you are scared around a
restaurant when you are not using a sharp object but other
people are. Your fears can overtake you, but it is up to you to
decide when you should allow them to come through and
when you should try and work through them.
 
Tip three: The emotions that you feel are going to steam
from something that happens in your brain. You are not
going to just randomly have emotions pop up because you
are thinking about them. Most emotions come from when
you engage in an activity that causes you to feel those
emotions. So, instead of dwelling in those emotions, why not
do something different? If you are placed in the same
situation again, try something different so that you can get a
different result rather than the same result.
 
Tip four: Looking at all the bad in the world is going to
cause you to find something to be worried about or upset
about. There is plenty of bad in the world that you are going
to be able to find even without really trying to it. All you have
to do is look at the news and you are bound to find
something bad in the world. So, train yourself to start looking
for the good in life. It may be harder to locate, but it is going
to help with your depression because you are not going to
have to focus on all the bad, but instead you are going to be
finding the good that comes with life.
 
Tip five: Compliments can be hard to take sometimes, but
not taking them is going to make you question if you feel
good about yourself. Your current beliefs may cause you to
question and doubt every time someone says something
nice to you. But, you are going to find that compliments are
going to help you with your depression. Having other people
notice that you have done something actually helps to boost
your self-esteem. So, if you do not believe that people should
be complimenting you, either do something that is worth
being complemented, or change your beliefs so that you can
take a compliment. Compliments are not bad! They are the
human’s way of saying that they notice that something has
been done and they appreciate it.
 
Tip six: It may be hard for you to accept, but you are going
to talk to yourself on a daily basis inside your head. Most
times, the voice that you are hearing in your head is going to
be different than the voice that you use when you are talking
to other people. If you are finding that it is complicated to
talk to yourself because your inner voice is not supportive,
then you need to change your inner voice. This is going to
help a lot when it comes to depression because you are
going to be changing how you look at yourself. If you cannot
accept yourself for who you are, then how can someone else
accept you?
 
Tip seven: Problems that arise in your life may seem like
they are never going to end. However, instead of looking at
the problems that life throws at you like they are never going
to end, look at them as opportunities that are going to be
there for you to change your life. All you have to do is use a
little bit of imagination to look at the way that the problem
falls and realize that yes, it could set you back, but it can
also push you forward so that you can cope with your
depression in a positive way.
 
Tip eight: It does not matter what happened in the past.
You are not going to be able to change it no matter how bad
you want to. It also does not matter what emotions you felt
back then because they are over and done with. The past is
the past and you are not going to go back to it. The only way
that you can push for a better future is go let go of your
future and keep going forward. Learn from your mistakes and
keep going with your future. If you do not learn from your
mistakes, then you are going to repeat the same mistakes
that you made and even though the past is the past, it is
going to keep repeating itself until you finally learn and stop
making the same mistake.
 
Tip ten: Remember to breath. The best way to breath is to
inhale from the pit of your stomach. Doing this is not only
going to calm your nerves, but it is going to control your
physiology as well. Remaining calm is going to be the best
way for you to keep calm in situations that your tension can
be high. The better that you control your breathing, the more
likely you are going to stay calm and make the proper
decision when it comes to having to react to something that
someone has said or done.
Conclusion
 
Thank for reading NLP Depression! Let’s hope it was
informative and able to provide you with all of the tools you
need to achieve your goals of living a more productive,
happy life.
 
The next step is to put the techniques that you learned in
this book to use to begin to change the way that you react to
the negative things that happen in your life.
 
Sometimes things in life are going to seem like they are
never going to look up. But, when you remind yourself that
there is a light at the end of the tunnel, life becomes easier
to deal with. NLP can be a useful tool in helping you to keep
your eyes on that light at the end and keep working towards
it so that you can overcome your depression.
 
The hope is that you are going to find a technique in this
book that has helped you to cope with your depression.
Changing the way that you think is going to help a lot when
it comes to coping with your emotions and all the negative
connotation that can come with depression. However, it is
not going to be the end.
 
The best tip that I can give you is to keep a journal of the
methods that you use so that you are able to see what works
and what does not work. This way you will be able to keep
yourself on track.
 
Good luck!
 
 
 NLP: Stop Dieting
 

Reprogram Your Eating

Habits for Permanent,
Effortless Weight Loss
 

Table of Contents
 

Introduction
Chapter 1: Starting the Weight Release Journey
Chapter 2: The Unconscious Eating Habit
Chapter 3: Food Cravings
Chapter 4: Emotional Eating
Chapter 5: The Healthy Exercise Habit
Conclusion: Sticking with your Goal
Introduction
 
If you suffer from addictive eating, or being overweight, you
are all too familiar with the symptoms that come along with
it. Not only do you suffer emotionally and mentally, but
physically. Here are some issues you may recognize:
 
● Mental Anguish: Extra weight adds to problems
such as anxiety and lowered self-esteem. In addition to
these problems, you might be familiar with depression,
or a constant feeling of not being “good enough”. This
makes sense when you stop to think about what our
culture idealizes; it’s always pictures of toned, young,
and slim bodies that are glorified and shown as favored.
It’s only with very infrequent exceptions that
proportional and thin bodies are considered beautiful.
Overweight or obese people tend to be thought less of
or shown as unfavorable.
● A Lack of Energy and Motivation: It’s not very
hard to feel down on yourself, feel anxious or get
obsessive about eating when you are surrounded by
these messages. In addition to the above issues, being
overweight and neglecting healthy eating habits leads
to an almost constant feeling of lethargy. The feelings of
helplessness that come along with having no energy,
coupled with cravings that become impossible to
 ignore, it’s clear why so many fall into this downward
spiral.
 
Why aren’t Typical Diets the Answer?
Looking at the above issues, you might assume that dieting
is the answer to your weight problems. However, going on
strict diets tends to worsen, not improve, this problem.
Dieting typically ends up causing harm over long periods of
time, although this isn’t easy to accept when you are
desperate to lose weight. We might fall into a way of thinking
that places all hope into this category, only to grow
disappointed and disenchanted when it fails.
 
● Statistics of Diet Success: The truth of the matter
is that only about 5 percent of people keep the weight
off, after losing it from dieting. This makes the reality
clear; diets don’t work. Actually, many people even gain
extra weight after abandoning their diets, due to
metabolism and appetite changes.
● Fads Don’t Give You Lasting Change: Everyone
who is familiar with the modern world knows that
there’s always a new fad diet out there, trying to gain
popularity. Fancy, seemingly perfect diets like this are
not what you need. Most of the time, the companies
promoting supplements or products centered around
this just want your money, and even if these diets do
work, your chances of ending up where you started are
immense.
 
 
Weight Gain is a Symptom of the Problem, not
the Problem:
Contrary to what you may think, gaining weight is never the
problem - It’s the symptom! People turn to food for a variety
of reasons, including:
 
● Insecurity: Fears of inadequacy, constantly
comparing oneself to others, and feeling unsure of
yourself can lead you to seek comfort in food.
● To Use as a Stress Reducer: Food comforts us and

makes us feel good in the moment, which leads some to

turn to this as a crutch after experiencing mental
trauma, or simply as a way to soften stress.
● For Distraction: Focusing on food means that we

don’t have to focus on that meeting coming up that

we’re nervous about, or the fight we had with our best
friend yesterday. In other words, it’s a distraction.
 
 
Using NLP for Weight Loss:
NLP (or Neuro-linguistic Programming) is the best way to lose
weight, without going on a diet. Never again will you have to
rely on strict dieting, impose harsh restrictions upon yourself,
or starve yourself. Here’s how it works:
 
● Getting to the Root of the Issue: Since weight
gain is a symptom of something deeper, you can only
lose weight and keep it off when you get to the center of
 that issue. This process works at the root level of your
psychology - Recognize that weight gain and overeating
are symptoms of not having a fully integrated
awareness of your own habits.
● Knowing yourself and Seeing Results: NLP simply

puts you in touch with your psychology to allow you to

have positive change. This is done by getting to know
the emotional reasons that drive the behaviors. Once
you see what’s causing the issues, the solutions will
seem easy. If you’re ready to create lasting change,
instead of placing your hopes in yet another fad diet
that ends with disappointment and self-loathing,
continue reading to begin the process of personal
transformation!
 
DISCLAIMER: Before we move on to the next chapters, it is
important to note that if you know you have been diagnosed
as obese, or are in serious medical condition, you should
seek the help of a medical practitioner before trying
anything outlined in this book. The practices and exercises
are intended to guide you through a weight loss journey only
when it is healthy to do so. If you have any questions about
what this means, or if you think you might be in critical
health condition, please seek medical attention.
 

Chapter 1: Starting the Weight

Release Journey
 
One of the biggest inhibitors to starting to lose weight is not
wanting to face the challenge. Weight loss consists of a
process involving three different parts. These include eating
less, exercise, and reframing your mentality. The latter is
what will determine your success.
 
Denial or Self-Defeating Ideas:
Beginning this journey is, in the eyes of many, the most
difficult part. Perhaps you are still in denial about the need to
lose weight, even though your health and emotional state is
suffering. Once you address these issues, you can truly
begin. Too often, people go into their weight loss goals
already expecting to fail. Here is how to combat that:
● Get yourself Ready: The most important part of
starting your journey is to develop the correct attitude
before beginning. If you are dedicated to the idea of
getting slimmer, you must think about the big picture.
You can probably think of many reasons for desiring this,
but some of them may actually be counterproductive.
For example, if you are doing this just to please
someone else, your conviction won’t last.
● Create a List: Begin by making a list of reasons that
you want to lose weight, and separate the reasons that
include pleasing others. Write another list that takes
those parts out. This should be for you, otherwise your
desire will fade with time. It can also help to think of
immediate, short term rewards or gains that will
motivate you to make good decisions in-the-moment,
 such as wanting to eat a healthy breakfast to feel good
today. Write down all of your reasons for wanting to
begin this journey.
 

● Check your Language: What language did you use

in this list? Did you use words such as “must” or “have
to” to describe your desire to lose weight? These
phrases hint at a sense of grueling obligation, not a true
desire within you, which means that you will naturally
experience a wish to rebel against them. If you don’t
believe this, test yourself by sitting in front of a
tempting food (cheese fries or ice cream, for example)
and repeat to yourself that you can’t have it. You will
notice that your cravings intensify. Go back through
your list and notice any instances of this type of
 language being used. Then, change the “must” phrases
into positive reward, or “want to” phrases.
 
Deciding to Commit to Weight Loss
If you are intent on moving past the initial emotional
resistance you are likely to face,
Take comfort in the fact that the beginning of any journey is
the most difficult part. There is science to explain this. Your
brain is hardwired to perform tasks that you have already
integrated into your daily habits and routines.
 
● Comfort in the Familiar: Our brains contain
shortcuts that we use mentally, which enable us to shift
through our days and conserve our energy. Without
these mental shortcuts, we would find ourselves being
overwhelmed by every tiny decision to make throughout
the day. However, this also comes at a disadvantage if
we are stuck in habits that are affecting us negatively.
Unfortunately, many of us end up falling victim to this
instinct and find that it works against us, rather than for
us.

These mental shortcuts are basically rules that your

mind operates by, and they tell you, in essence, that
when something quickly springs to your mind, go with it.
In other words, familiarity is better than change. You can
see how this can be self-defeating when it comes to
trying to improve your eating habits. We seek what is
familiar, in that extra serving of pie, or that bag of chips,
 because it’s what we’re used to doing, and so it feels
right.
● Creating Momentum: The only way to stop this is to
start going in another direction that serves you better,
and turning that into a familiar terrain. This means that
creating momentum in our habits is the best way to
keep them going. A person who is sedentary is likely to
stay sedentary, while someone constantly in motion will
likely stay in motion. In other words, once you stick to
your new plan for a length of time, the new way of
acting and thinking will soon be what you prefer. Once
you understand the inherent bias your mind has for
what is familiar (even when it’s the worse choice), you
are on your way to beating this impulse.
 
● Start Small: The easiest way to begin is to take on
one step at a time, rather than trying to conquer the
whole mountain. If your goal is to, for example, exercise
more, begin by walking for 10 minutes each day.
Eventually, you will find that you wish to walk for longer
periods. You are working with, rather than against, your
brain when you start out with small positive actions.
 
 
Weekly Journal:
Before doing any of the NLP techniques in this book, the first
exercise is to take the time to record everything you eat and
drink for a 1 week period, as well as when you eat.
Important: DO NOT try to stop yourself from eating as you
normally do, or attempt to edit what you consume during
this week period. Simply continue your normal eating habits
- except this time, pay attention to what actions you are
taking, and write it down.
 
● Be Honest and Detailed: Simply eat as you
normally would, just take the time to write it down. If
you forget to record a meal, that’s okay. Simply write it
down when you get the chance. The more detail you can
record, the more leverage you will be giving yourself in
the next steps. Don’t forget to write down everything
you drink as well!
 
● Awareness: This will be extremely valuable
information, not just for you to become more aware of
what you are consuming, but because there is valuable
information about your particular habits! So many of us
go through life making automatic choices without
realizing what we’re doing. Those choices add up over
time and create our character. Becoming aware is the
first step on your weight loss journey.
 
Once you have recorded everything for a week, you are
ready to move on to the next steps.
 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
 
What to do with this Information:
After you have completed this step, and kept your journal
faithfully for a minimum of seven days, it is now time to
analyze this information. Take some time to look through
your food entries, and extract the following information
about your habits:
 
1. Eating Times: What times of day do you find yourself
eating? Are there certain times that you find yourself
eating more than others? Perhaps you are a nighttime
snack binger, or prefer to eat while watching television.
Reflect on these questions and write down the answers
your journal.
 
  
2. Food Associations: What habits do you notice yourself
engaging in? Do you tend to distract yourself with other
activities as you eat? Maybe you always take your lunch
break in your office and order take out to eat as you
look over your papers. Really think about your answers
to this question, and try to think objectively. Make sure
to record this information in your journal.
 
 
3. Emotional States: How do you feel after eating? When
you finish your take out lunch at your work desk, do you
feel nourished? Still hungry? Try to reflect on how you
feel before and after meals, and if the type of food you
eat affects your mood. Record your observations.
 
 
Setting a Goal:
Having a goal is an extremely important step of the journey
for lasting success. Knowing where you are going and what
you can expect helps mitigate the fear of failure, as well as
acting as a guide on your journey. When you have some
vague idea that you wish to “slim down” or “look better” by
next summer, it’s easy to lose motivation, because your goal
was never clearly known in the first place.
 
 
Your Effective Goal Setting Strategy:
1. Think of the Long Term: Reflect on why you are doing
this in the first place? What are the underlying reasons?
To feel more confident? Be healthier? Be honest with
yourself about what you want to achieve, and why. This
is your chance to think about what you want most, so be
 specific. Write down the 2 most important reasons, or
motivating goals you have decided that will motivate
you throughout this journey. A goal might be, for
example, to gain a certain level of physical health, or to
losing a certain amount of pounds to fit into an article of
clothing.
 

2. Think Short Term: Set manageable goals for yourself.

Based on your journal, you should now have a clearer
understanding of where you are starting from, and what
you can expect from yourself. It is important not to
stretch yourself too far too fast, or to expect too much
in the beginning. A good short term goal might be, for
instance, noticing that you always have popcorn after
dinner or while watching a movie, and making a point of
setting this as a habit to cut back on. Write down 1 short
term goal you would like to accomplish.
 

 
3. Set a Date: Set up a general timeframe, such as this
summer, or by Christmas. Is there a time by which you
would like to see a given amount of progress? Make sure
you write down a specific time by which you will have
achieved your goal. Otherwise, it’s too easy to keep
putting it off until “later”. Also, make sure this
timeframe is tied to a specific goal. Do you have some
target weight you would like to achieve? Setting goals
that are specific works better than vague and undefined
goals such as “get better at controlling my eating”. Give
yourself a target, but be reasonable about it, and don’t
forget to celebrate small victories.
 
Write down your specific date and the specific goal it is
tied to in your journal.
 

4. Remember to Set Attainable and Positive Goals:

Keep in mind that it is better to set up goals that you
feel confident you can achieve, than goals that you will
likely abandon when things get too challenging. Do not
expect too much of yourself, as this can only lead to
disappointment and ultimately giving up. Weight loss
can take patience, but just be focused on steady
progress, keeping in mind the reasons behind why you
are going on this journey, and staying positive.

Rather than focusing on how many times this week you

failed at turning down soda, focus instead on the
number of times you refused to eat from a drive
through. Positive goals have, within them, hints on how
to keep going, instead of simply focusing on what you
did wrong, which can be discouraging.
 5. Goals should be Flexible: Although goals can help
you stay determined and on track, you shouldn’t set
them “in stone”. They should constantly be reviewed,
thought over, and revised so that they accurately guide
and help you along your course. This process can be
fun, if you simply have the right mindset. Remember,
you’re doing this because you want to, not because you
have to.
 
When people know to set goals that are realistic and
achievable, they will accomplish them. When you accomplish
a goal, you can enjoy success and feel competent, which
creates a positive feedback loop, fueling future positive
action. This will teach you that sticking with your goals pays
off and is preferable to giving up on them.
 
Now that we have a goal set to help orient our progress, let’s
dig into some of the tools we can use to get in touch with our
psychology and reprogram our habits.
 
 
Chapter 2: The Unconscious Eating
Habit
 
What was your breakfast today? Did you have the “usual”? Is
your “usual” French toast smothered in maple syrup with two
fried eggs on the side, or perhaps a bowl of cereal? Do you
have breakfast every morning? Did you stop to feel your
hunger before eating, and consider what it is your body was
in need of, before having breakfast? Or, being in a hurry, did
you instead go through the motions of preparing and eating
breakfast in an autopilot state of being, without thinking too
much about it?
 
The Habit of Eating Unconsciously:
People tend to eat most of their snacks and meals
unconsciously. When you eat dinner, do you eat every last
piece of food you served yourself? Or do you go for seconds
because that’s what you always do? Are you in the habit of
snacking while watching the afternoon news?
 
● How these Habits Affect you: The fact is that
everyone has habits attached to their eating. The
unfortunate aspect and result of this is that eating
unconsciously leads to unhealthy options and
eventually, weight gain, which we do not want. Studies
show that most Americans watch television during
 meals, and are often too occupied by something
unrelated to have their meals sitting down. Some even
eat on their way to work.
● Multitasking doesn’t Work with Eating: Go to any
major city and you will see plenty of individuals eating
as they walk. When people eat as they are occupied
with another activity, they aren’t focusing on what
they’re putting in their mouths, making it easier to eat
too much. In addition to this, eating while multitasking
or on the go works against your body’s natural digestive
process. You won’t bother to chew your food thoroughly,
leading to weight gain and a digestive system that gets
overloaded.
 
 
Switching to a Habit of Eating Consciously:
Switching a habit that has been ingrained over time will not
happen automatically. The unconscious habits and actions
we partake in happen in the parts of our brains that don’t
rely on thinking consciously. In order to reprogram these old
ways of thinking, you must be consistently reminded. This is
the only way you will escape your old habits. Here are some
starting points to achieve that goal:
 
● Repeating Behavior for Change: In order to
ingrain a new, better habit, you must repeat that
behavior faithfully. Even though many techniques and
methods exist to help with this, your ability to stick with
them for at least one month will have a significant
impact on your success or lack thereof.
● Focus on Two Habits or Less: The key here is to
only focus on two new habits (or less) at once. You can,
for example, notice your hunger before you eat, and
commit to being more thorough with your chewing.
Instead of being overwhelmed by an entirely new way of
viewing food, this makes it easier to stay focused.
● Reminder Notes: You can start by posting notes in
places that you will see them throughout your day. This
can be at your work desk, on your refrigerator, or on
your steering wheel. Be sure to state these positive
statements in the present, such as “I always thoroughly
chew my mouthfuls of food”. Each time you encounter
one of these notes, stop what you’re doing and consider
it.
● Find a Partner: There is power in numbers, and
having an accountability partner to keep you on track is
a great asset in your weight loss journey. By talking
about your intentions with a friend, you are
strengthening your resolve, and you can encourage
each other and help each other remain motivated and
dedicated to your new ways of acting.
● Forgive Mistakes: It can be easy to berate
ourselves when we fail to hold up to our promises to
ourselves about making healthier choices. Remember,
though, that this is counterproductive and will only set
you back more. In order to stay persistent, you should
be gentle with yourself when you fail, and remember
 that you’re attempting to better yourself, and that’s a
wonderful thing!
 
 
NLP Techniques to Set a Conscious Eating Habit:
Luckily, there are step by step processes to getting rid of
unconscious eating. In this section, we will be covering three
NLP exercises that you can begin using now.
 
 
Technique 1: Getting in touch with the Signals Your
Brain is Sending You
It’s easy to eat too much, especially when you’re partaking
in a delicious meal. But this leads to discomfort, a bloated
feeling, and eventually, weight gain. Learning the types of
signals your brain is sending you while eating, along with
learning to consciously identify them, is a must for losing
weight. So how are you supposed to know when you are full
and should cease eating?
 
● Learning to Listen: Calorie counting may seem, to
some people, like the single most important step to
losing weight and gaining control over your eating
habits. But our bodies are already equipped with all we
need for figuring out when we’ve eaten enough. In order
to change the way you interact with food, all you have
to do is simply begin listening to your body telling you
that you are full. No need for obsessive and mentally
exhausting calorie counting anymore!
● Understanding Fullness: Our stomachs hold
around 17 cups of food. However, feelings of fullness do
not come from the stomach being filled up. Rather, our
feelings of satiety arise from our brains responding to
the chemical makeup of what we put into our stomachs.
The brain will require about 20 minutes to catch up to,
and react to this. Once you have finished eating, this
feeling escalates for up to a half hour. They will then
stay high for up to five hours, in order to keep you full.
When these levels fall again, you begin to feel hungry.

The key here is to wait until your meal is finished, to see

if you are full or not. Your hunger will, more often than
not, go away after about 20 minutes when your brain
has caught up, meaning that you won’t need to eat
more, even if you immediately thought you would.
● Pay Attention to your Stomach Sensations: Start
paying attention to the way you feel when you
experience hunger, along with the way you feel after
you drink water. You will notice that the feeling of
emptiness in your stomach fades after you have a glass
of water. Next time you have a meal, think about the
way your stomach is feeling as you’re eating. Once you
start to feel full, you’ll notice a small pressure has
replaced the sensation of emptiness and hunger. When
you notice this, cease eating immediately. This will allow
you to still feel energetic and light after eating. If, at any
time, you feel uncomfortable from the pressure, you ate
too much.
 
 
More Tools to Utilize a Conscious Eating Habit:
 
● Water: Before every meal you have, drink an entire
glass of water 15 minutes before eating. This will result
in your brain realizing that you are satiated in just 10,
instead of 20, minutes. Refill your glass and drink
another full glass during your meal, remembering to
pause and take sips. This will slow you down.
● Chewing: Most of us don’t chew our food thoroughly,

which leads to discomfort in the stomach, digestive

issues, and of course, weight gain. This leads us to think
we need to eat more than we really do. To effectively
combat this bad habit, remember to chew every bite
you take at least 15 times. As soon as you have reached
a feeling of fullness, put the rest of the food away and
start doing something else, such as a hobby, going on a
walk, or talking with your spouse.
● Coffee or Tea: If moving past the impulse to keep

eating is difficult for you, fix some coffee or

unsweetened tea in the meantime. Don’t eat more
unless your hunger returns. The cravings you feel before
your body actually requires food are in your mind, not in
your body.
● When you Eat, Just Eat: Make a rule for yourself

that you pay complete attention to eating while you eat,

instead of sitting in front of the TV or checking your
 work emails. In addition to this, try to be formal about
your meals, sitting at a table, instead of on the couch or
in your car.
● Appreciate Flavors: Take some time to try to taste

each nuance in the food you eat, considering the

nutrients you are gaining from it. Gain an attitude of
gratitude and appreciation toward this, instead of
viewing eating as a primal need or pleasure pursuit. This
will help you change your relationship with food.
Eventually, you will become less likely to indulge
yourself too often and start viewing food as
nourishment, not entertainment.
 
Following all of the tips listed above will allow your body to
reach its natural, healthy weight. Again, our bodies already
intuitively know how to tell when we are hungry, when we’ve
had enough, and when we don’t need that second helping.
The key is tuning into this wisdom that already exists within
you.
 
Technique 2: Setting a Healthy Eating Habit with NLP
Anchoring:
Using the setting an NLP anchor technique can help you to
instill positive emotions before your meal, training you to
feel good about choosing healthier choices, and refraining
from overeating.
 
● It’s All About Association: The method of NLP

anchoring relies on a specific stimulus; anything from a

taste, to a small, or a touch, to create a positive
response. Humans learn by creating associations and
links. Whenever something has been anchored into your
mind, you react without much thought. This reaction can
be either advantageous, or downright painful.

Is there a certain person who always makes you feel

angry? What about a song that calls to mind a sad
feeling? Using NLP anchoring allows you to create
associations that can work for you. This is NLP
anchoring at work.
● Repetition must be Used: Advertisement
companies are well aware of this psychological
tendency in humans, and that it’s possible to create
good feelings around nearly anything. They use this
realization to their advantage with their product
placement, or by putting smiling people into their ads.
When two things occur together enough times, a link is
created.

Of course, this can also work with negative states. Some

people, for instance, get sad around holiday season.
These anchors appear in all of the following systems:
Visually (for instance, a red light in traffic), in the
olfactory system (a certain perfume that will always
remind you of an ex, or fresh baked cookies making you
nostalgic for childhood). In addition, these anchors can
be present with auditory stimuli, such as songs or the
voice of someone special, and more.
 
Most of these associations are created subconsciously,
whenever something happens repeatedly linked with a
certain state of mind. PTSD sufferers who experienced
trauma in the war, for example, may have a lifelong aversion
to very loud noises such as fireworks, because of this
anchoring.
 
Steps for Anchoring Positive Feelings with
Weight Loss:
Anchoring is used most commonly for calling to mind specific
emotions when you wish to feel them, or getting rid of
unwanted thought or feelings when they aren’t helping you.
This means that you can learn to look forward to eating
vegetables (believe it or not) and learn to feel excited and
happy each time you turn down an unhealthy junk food
craving, instead of regretful. Here are some steps to follow to
create a personal weight loss anchor:
 
● Elicit a Positive Feeling: You begin by intentionally
calling to mind a positive emotion, for example by
thinking of a memory that always makes you happy.
Recall every sight, sound, and feeling you experienced
at that moment, embodying the emotion entirely. For
the purpose of creating willpower for your weight loss
journey, I recommend that you access a memory that
involves you feeling mentally strong and empowered, in
control of yourself, your life, and your choices. If it helps
 to solidify the memory, write it down in your journal for
the best results.
 

● Create your Anchor: Now you need to create an

anchor related to this state of mind. This can be a
specific word, or a simple action like touching your nose
or the back of your hand. After you elicit the emotion
and create the tactile anchor, intentionally shift your
attention to something else by going to another room,
or focusing on a neutral topic in your mind.
 
● Repeat this Practice: Continue practicing accessing
this mental state and relating your action (touching your
nose, for example) to that state of mind. You can test
out the effectiveness of this by testing out your anchor
when you are in a neutral state of mind. At this point,
you should feel that emotion as a result of your anchor.
 If it doesn’t work, practice the association a few more
times, over the course of the next few days.
● Use this for your Interactions with Food: Once
you can call to mind a positive emotion at will using
your anchor, start using this in your interactions with
food. For example, when you are driving home from
work and really crave a hamburger from McDonalds,
instead of mustering a large force of willpower just to
say ‘no’, try using your personal anchor instead. Try this
tactic over the next several days and observe how the
simple tactile action linked to a stored emotion can
create amazing results. Record any observations about
the effectiveness of this technique in your journal.
 

● Necessary Factors for Successful Anchoring: In

order for this to work, remember that you need to have
a very intense state of mind that you are anchoring.
 Repetition is key, as well, since these can fade without
frequent reminders.
 
 
Maintaining Your Ideal Body Weight:
Anyone who has attempted to get rid of some extra pounds
know that it isn’t just getting started that matters, but
sticking with your new ways. Not only do NLP techniques
help with losing weight, but they can help you keep it off as
soon as you have reached your ideal shape.
 
● Persistence is Key: Feeling defeated or wishing to
give up is only a fleeting, temporary state, while
actually giving up is what gives it power. Perhaps this
isn’t your first attempt at losing weight, and you’re
reading this now because you have experienced success
with a diet only to fall back to your old ways, and
possibly even end up heavier than you were from the
beginning. This makes the urge to give up strong.
However, your urges to give up will be lessened
immensely by pursuing these NLP techniques instead of
tired old diet fads.

Giving up is what happens when we follow strict diets

that leave us feeling starved, restricted, and enslaved.
Our bodies end up holding onto each calorie that enters
our body, after a period of restriction, turning it to fat In
case a shortage occurs again. These methods doom us
to failure, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
 
 
Using NLP for Lasting Weight Loss and Lifestyle
Changes:
No changes are really worthwhile unless they withstand the
test of time. The best advice you can receive in this area is
that once you have reached your ideal size and shape, using
NLP methods, adapt your lifestyle to fit your new way of
thinking by following these tips:
 
● Don’t Restrict Yourself: You should be able to eat
what you want, within reason. That is to say that
prohibiting yourself from enjoying a specific kind of food
can be damaging to your progress. The key is to only
have very small portions, and only very occasionally.
This will allow you to feel like you aren’t depriving
yourself, which will keep you on track.
● Let your Friends Know: A lot of people encounter a
bit of awkwardness when they begin changing their
ways, including habits of eating and dining out. Next
time friends invite you to dinner, you can avoid any
awkwardness by letting them know ahead of time that
you have been eating smaller portions. Most people will
understand this life choice. Let’s say, for example, your
friends invite you out to a nice restaurant that you know
has multiple courses and infamously large portion sizes.
Tell your friends or colleagues ahead of time that you
want to enjoy each course and would prefer not to finish
 your entire place, since that would end up making you
too full. Next time you visit a buffet, instead of piling
everything onto your plate and socializing with friends
as you eat, try eating and talking separately. This will
make it easier for you to stay conscious as you dine,
and pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you.
It can be as simple as this.
 
Although not restricting yourself too much is important, as
stated before, you might discover that you naturally
gravitate toward healthier options for food once you begin
paying more attention to your body. This is because healthier
foods leave you feeling lighter, energized, and less bloated.
This truly doesn’t have to be a chore.

Chapter 3: Food Cravings

 
Another reason why following the latest detox fad won’t help
you create lasting change is cravings. Restrictive dieting
tends to cause even stronger cravings in people, for their
favorite unhealthy snacks. Ask any person out there what
type of food they typically crave, and chances are, they will
have a couple of items that automatically come to mind. This
is because cravings happen as a result of our habits.
 
 
It’s Natural and Okay to Crave Foods:
The first key thing to realize now is that it is okay to have
food cravings. That’s right; any time you beat yourself up for
wanting that slice of pie after lunch or wishing desperately
for a bacon cheese burger, you’re being unnecessarily harsh
on yourself. By accepting that cravings are natural and
should, in fact, be expected, you are actually helping the
craving to dissolve. Think about it, are you less or more
prepared for something when you expect it? Telling yourself
that cravings are unacceptable just makes you unprepared
to handle them when they occur, and far more likely to
buckle under the temptation. Consider the following points:
 
● Everyone has Food Cravings: Studies show that
basically all humans, men and women, have
experienced cravings for some type of food in the last
year. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s actually
partially to thank for helping us evolve.
● It’s all Mental: People who aren’t as prone to
succumbing to their cravings might tell others that
these thoughts are purely mental, and studies show that
this is absolutely correct. It is all in your mind! Actually,
our pleasure center and memory center in the brain are
responsible for these food cravings. Our brains come to
associate certain foods with rewards, and this leads us
to want more.

Research has proven that dampening the opiate centers

of the brain actually dampen cravings for sugary and
fatty foods, proving that pleasure has a lot to do with
our experience of them.
 ● Less Stress means Fewer Cravings: One major
step you can take to diminish the level of cravings you
feel is lessening stress in your life. Although there are
physiological explanations behind cravings for food,
they are also related to desire and general emotions.
We crave foods because they can satisfy needs we
have, like getting rid of anxiety or reducing stress. For a
lot of us, an episode of stress or anxiety can cause
severe and instant cravings.

Carbs heighten our serotonin levels, calming us down

quickly. Studies have also suggested that sugar and fat,
when combined, produce an effect of calming. San
Francisco University researchers found that rats placed
into environments of high stress gravitated toward
sugary and fatty foods, which resulted in lower stress
levels.
 
 
Tips to Help you Handle Food Cravings:
Don’t allow those pesky cravings to sabotage your efforts
and progress. Instead, follow these guidelines to stay on
track to becoming your best weight.
 
● Be Realistic about your Control Levels:
Remember that restricting yourself can cause you to slip
off track later. This is not to say that always giving into
cravings is good, but be realistic about how much you
can control yourself once you begin eating chocolate or
a salty snack. Are a few chips or M&Ms enough for you?
If so, indulging is perfectly okay, every once in awhile.

However, if you tend to have cravings that spiral

deeper, and lead you to finish an entire family sized bag
of chips or gallon of cookies and cream, it’s time to be
honest with yourself. Getting a clear picture of what
you’re dealing with is the only way to adequately handle
it. If you know you’re susceptible to overdoing it, try
only keeping small portions in the house. For example,
buy a single serving back of chips, or buy one slice of
cake, rather than an entire cake.
● Try for Healthier Options: When possible, try going
for lower calorie dishes, whenever you can. You might
immediately think that this won’t satisfy you as much as
what you’re used to, but it all depends on how creative
you get. Changes are, putting Greek yogurt on top of
your meals, instead of sour cream, will satisfy you just
as much once you get used to it. Although we are
constantly surrounded by temptation and junk food,
which is cheap, easy, and instantly attainable most of
the time, it’s all a matter of habit. Get used to saying
no, and you will rarely even notice the donut shop on
your way to work.
● Don’t Skip Meals or Become Too Hungry
between Them: When you skip meals, or pass up
eating when you really needed to, it’s likelier that you
will overindulge when you get the chance. Again,
deprivation breeds a form of desperation and you will
 wish to overcompensate for the lack you just
experienced. It sounds slightly counterintuitive, eating
to prevent overeating, but staying satisfied throughout
the day will help you prevent binges or uncontrollable
cravings.
● Write about your Cravings: For those of you who
have severe cravings, try writing about them. Record
each time throughout your day that you experience a
craving, including what you feel before and during the
craving, what food you wanted the most, and how much
and what you had to eat earlier. You can then review the
information later on to look for patterns in certain
emotions leading to cravings, or a specific time of day
that you are more susceptible.
 
● Be Smart about your Carb Choices: We have
already gone over the fact that we crave foods high in
sugar and fat, including highly refined carbs. And we’ve
gone over the fact that stress leads to craving carbs,
since they have a calming effect. This means that the
smartest method for calming ourselves down, yet
providing our bodies with nourishment, is opting for
healthier, “smarter” carbs, such as vegetables, fruits,
beans, or grains. These will provide your body with the
carbs you’re craving, in addition to nutritional strength
that lasts from minerals, vitamins, and fiber.

Next time you’re craving a toasted sandwich with

cheese, opt for bread that is whole wheat instead of
 white, and go for cheese with lower fat. Next time you
have a craving for cake, bake one at home and use
flour, made of whole wheat instead of white flour, and a
healthier sugar substitute. Try using coconut oil instead
of butter.
● Nurture Yourself Physically and Mentally: The
majority of people need a healthy dose of self-nurturing
in order to thrive and improve their lives. Taking care of
yourself emotionally and mentally will lead to less
unhappiness, anger, and stress in your life, which will
mean you won’t crave unhealthy foods as often. If you
notice that you are tempted to eat junk food constantly,
this could be a signal that you’re in need of less stress
in your life. How to deal with this is up to you, but you
could start by getting out in nature more, spending time
with loved ones, or even dedicating more of your free
time to a hobby.
 
 
NLP Techniques to Eliminate Food Cravings
 
Technique 1: Asking the Right Questions
In order to win when your food cravings strike, you must first
learn to recognize the signs of craving. Here are some ways
to tell harmful, potentially destructive cravings for actual
hunger:
 
● Abruptness: The first way to tell cravings from

legitimate hunger is the fact that hunger comes on

 slowly, while cravings are abrupt. Did you just finish
lunch an hour ago, but suddenly feel the need for
chocolate cake? This is a craving, not legitimate hunger
or the need to eat.
● Reflect on your Hunger: Next time you feel hungry,

don’t mindlessly reach for the potato chips out of habit.

Instead, reflect a bit on the sensation. Are you really
hungry? Perhaps it’s just thirst, since our brains can
often mistake this for hunger. Learn to pause your
impulses and figure out the nature of your hunger.
● Choose what you Need, not what you Want:

When you have determined that you are actually

hungry, and needing nutrition, figure out what would
make you feel best to eat. Does a certain food sound
good, and if so, how do you usually feel after eating
that food? Try to go for foods that leave you feeling
satisfied, not bloated or craving more.
 
Technique 2: NLP Swish Technique for Eliminating
Food Cravings
Humans have a natural instinct to retreat from undesired or
unpleasant experienced, and gravitate toward pleasurable
behaviors or experiences, in life. The NLP Swish technique
uses this instinct for positive results, essentially guiding you
into new patterns of feeling, thinking, and ultimately, acting.
You could, for instance, pick up an attitude like fear of
heights, or a habit like smoking.
● Identifying the Roots: This next section will allow
you to identify how your problem with weight gain or
excessive eating became an issue in the first place,
using the Swish technique. Then you will be asked to
find out where and when you would wish to respond or
act differently than your old ingrained ways. Let’s look
at an example. If your problem is late night pizza
cravings, and you can attribute much of your weight
problems to this behavior, you may be able to recall
when this began, and who you were with the first time
you started doing this. You may also be able to look
back at this memory and figure out what you wish you
would have done instead, or how you would have
reacted if you had another chance to go back before
this pattern became truly ingrained.
● Your Cue Image: The next step will be identifying a

mental picture, or cue, of the time that you first began

this habit. Most people walk around throughout their
days on autopilot, and act in the same old ways, before
they even know what happened, leading to the same
old situation. For example, you would probably find it
easier to think of your emotions when you get angry at
a person, than it is to recall which thoughts began the
process of growing angry.

Identify a cue image of the current habit, and write it

down in detail in your journal before moving on to the
next step.
 

● Your Ideal Reality: Next, you should take some time

to picture your ideal reality or outcome from the
changes you’re about to make. What, exactly, do you
wish for your life to look like? In what specific ways do
you want to behave and react? The more intense and
clear this image is, the more success you will
experience with the method. You may want to be able to
climb five flights of stairs without much stress on your
body, or envision yourself turning down a second
helping of apple pie during the holidays.

You might envision accepting an invitation to your

friend’s pool party, instead of saying no because you’re
embarrassed about being seen in a bathing suit.
Perhaps you will imagine being able to try on clothes
that fit you 10 years ago, and wear them with
 confidence out in public. Whatever your goal is, make
sure you get specific.
 

● The Swish Step: Next you should fully envision this

goal, and the image that comes along with it, as clearly
and loudly as possible. Envision the sights, smells,
sounds, and most importantly of all, the feelings that
come along with this new reality. Next, you should
picture your reality now, calling to mind the emotions it
makes you feel, and think of this in a smaller, black and
white image. What specific picture comes to mind when
you envision your life in the ways it needs to change?

Now you will start to replace this disempowering image

with your ideal reality. Place, in your mind, the smaller
photo at the middle of the original, larger, colorful
mental picture and allow it to disappear into the ideal
 goal photo. Repeat this as many times as you need. You
may find it helpful to find recordings for this technique
online, which guide you through the process.
 

● Use Suggestion to Combat Cravings: As soon as

you find out how your brain works in the midst of
visualization, you can experiment by attempting to
eliminate cravings. Get into a calm and relaxed state of
mind and picture your favorite junk food, be it sugary
snacks or salty fried morsels, and envision them as filler
junk that your body doesn’t need. For example, you
could imagine tortilla chips smothered in cheese and
picture cardboard covered in paste. Imagine how you
would feel if you, in fact, ate cardboard covered in
paste. It would have no taste, for starters, but it would
also harm your stomach, and leave you feeling pretty
bad after you ate it. This visualization will create a
 connection in your subconscious mind that sees your
greatest junk food weaknesses as harmful and
avoidable. You will find that you crave these foods a lot
less often, after doing this a few times.
Be faithful with your practice of this technique, and
remember that the stronger the feelings, and the clearer the
image, the better the results will be. You should notice
mental and physical changes not long after beginning this
new practice.
 
 
Technique 3: NLP Visualization to Make Unhealthy
Food Unappealing
This next section will guide you through detailed
visualization and a step by step process for making junk food
unappealing. Does this sound impossible? You might wonder
if you can enjoy success with visualization, but this is a
technique employed by celebrities, athletes, and average
individuals to learn how to improve in their careers, relax
and experience less stress, and accomplish goals. This
technique works for quitting smoking, having fewer
headaches, and it can work for weight loss too. Using this
technique, you will have:
 
● The Ability to Discern True Hunger: Visualization
can help you with telling when you are truly hungry and
in need of food, instead of just craving. You may even
find that you feel hungry less often and only feel the
urge to eat what you actually need. Eating only when
 you are actually hungry means choosing healthier
options, instead of the first junk you come upon.
● More Energy: You can use visualization to feel less
lethargic and tired throughout your day. The fact that
you will crave junk food less contributes to the rise in
energy levels that result from this method.
● Lasting Change: This method does not require

forcing yourself into a fitness routine or starving

yourself. In fact, once you align your eating habits with
the needs of your body, the pounds will come off on
their own. Unlike fad diets, this method allows lasting
change for your body and lifestyle. Visualization allows
your body and mind to work with each other, not
against each other.
 
 
Steps for Visualizing your Way to a Healthy Weight:
 
● Envision your Ideal Self: Use visualization to target
your issues with weight gain by picturing yourself at
your ideal weight and shape. Do you wish to be fit and
thin, with visible abs? Then this is what you should
picture. Although this may seem crazy or impossible at
this stage, don’t get hung up on how realistic or
unrealistic it is. Concern yourself only with creating a
clear picture of the direction you wish to head in. By the
law of attraction, focusing on what you want instead of
what you don’t want will help lead you to become what
you are envisioning.
Picturing vivid and clear imagines is the best way to
send messages to your subconscious. Studies have
shown that when our minds enter into a stage of
extreme relaxation, which body-mind practices and
visualization bring on, it’s in the perfect state for new
suggestions. The first step is getting into a calm and
relaxed physical and mental state, breathing deeply and
slowly, for about 10 minutes. Once you are in this state,
picture your image, and make it as vivid as you possibly
can.
● Use Images to Lower your Stress Levels: One
fact becomes clear when one takes a look at studies on
obesity, and this is stress leading to increased weight.
When you live a pressured life, your body begins
habitually releasing hormones that make your
metabolism slower, make you hungry, and lead your
body to store fat. You can use visualization to reduce the
stress you feel in your life, staying calm through the
most hectic parts of your day. Similar to the step
detailed above, breathe deeply for about 10 minutes,
and once you are in a relaxed state, picture yourself
encountering the stresses of your daily life, but staying
calm, instead of becoming stressed out.
● Create Alternative Protection for Emotional
Issues: Many people store weight on their bodies as a
way to protect themselves against emotional difficulty
in life. For example, you might have an abusive boss
who yells at you a lot, and subconsciously add on
 weight to create a barrier against this. You may have
recently gone through a breakup and turn to food as a
comfort and use the weight that stacks on as a way to
hide from the pain. What you should do, instead, is
figure out what you are using your weight to hide from.

Next, use a visualization of protection to insulate

yourself against this old defense mechanism. Breathe
slowly and deeply for at least 10 minutes, and once in
your relaxed state of mind, picture begin surrounded by
a circle or bright light that protects you from your
surroundings. Although this is purely mental, you are
communicating a message with your subconscious that
you are safe and untouchable. Eventually, your mind
will fully accept this message and stop using extra
weight as a subconscious defense mechanism.
 
Using the methods listed above, you can start putting your
mind’s natural power to use, using visualization exercises to
get to the root of the issue that has been causing you to gain
weight and keep it on. Your body’s natural state is fit, thin,
and healthy, and it’s just a matter of training the rest of you
to believe this. Once you mind and subconscious are
convinced, your body and habits will follow suit, creating
lasting and real change.
 
 
Chapter 4: Emotional Eating
 
In addition to the general stresses of life, unfulfilled
emotional drives can be a root cause of weight gain.
 
● Food as an Emotional Band Aid: When our needs
aren’t met (for instance for sex, or need for security),
your cravings will get stronger and stronger. Even
though food is seemingly unrelated to sex or security,
your unmet needs will manifest as this. Food is a
replacement for what you aren’t receiving.
● Food is a Quick Fix: If a drive is not being met, your
hypothalamus (which is the part of your brain that
controls drives), will find the nearest substitute to fill the
drive that is not being met - many times the easiest and
nearest substitute is to eat food.
● Cortisol’s Effect on your Eating Habits: Not
listening to our needs results in stress, and if stress
continues for long enough, our glands start to release
cortisol. This makes you feel hungrier, and even once
stress abates, the cortisol may stay, causing you to form
an unhealthy attachment to eating emotionally.
 
 
If you realize that you are experiencing past trauma that
may be causing weight gain, please see a certified
psychologist about this issue.
 
 
NLP Techniques to Eliminate Emotional Eating
 
Technique 1: NLP Framing Technique
Framing increases or decreases the emotional response to
memories, which means that your emotional response to
situations either becomes amplified or de-amplified. This
works by correcting or rebuilding links between your
hippocampus and amygdala. This technique is so effective
because it is simple and can be applied along with other
existing Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques. But,
before going into this subject more, you should understand
this method’s applications and importance.
 
● Memories: Everyone learns life lessons from
memories in their life, both good and bad. Personally,
our memories can either be negative or positive, but the
reality is that memories don’t have inherent emotions
attached to them, and instead store highlights from our
past. Although this might sound counterintuitive or
downright wrong, at first glance, emotion and memory
are produced and stored in entirely different sections of
the human brain. The amygdala takes care of emotion,
while the hippocampus produces and stores your
memories, and although these two parts are close to
each other, they aren’t the same.
● Try this Exercise: Try calling to mind a memory,
related to your weight gain, that you think of as bad.
Not necessarily something traumatic, but something
disappointing or mildly embarrassing. What went on in
your brain, just now? Without being too detailed, your
thalamus and prefrontal cortex communicated with your
limbic system and hippocampus in order to conjure up
the requested “bad” memory. A scene came to mind, or
maybe some sounds or a picture, to remind you of it.

Your amygdala (which allows you to feel emotion)

judged this memory as if it were fresh and new. The
memory of feelings you had during this specific memory
were linked to this part of the brain, and judged, to
remind you of the way the memory felt, which was
“bad”, in this particular case.
● Editing our Memory-induced Feelings: This
means that your emotions are not permanently
attached to particular memories, but only brought up
again for reference. Since they are not permanently
bound together, you can change emotions associated
with your memories, which is what framing is all about;
editing your feeling responses in regards to
remembering events. The example given to you above
was in regards to framing something in a negative light,
usually used for bad memories, of course. This is called
such because it’s used to negative or lessen feelings
attached to a certain memory.
● Steps for Reducing Negative Association with a
Memory: So try this, take your snippet from the bad
memory and turn it into a single mental photo to
capture its essence. Think of it as snapping a photo of
 that particular memory, but instead of seeing it through
your perspective, zoom out to see the situation from the
outside, viewing yourself. If you had already seen it this
way, step back a little more. Now that you are able to
view yourself in this way, turn your photo from color to
black and white. Try seeing a less focused version of the
photo, as if it were old.

Now you can frame the mental image, stylizing the

photo and frame to match and fit each other. Whether
this frame is a fancy antique or a simple black outline,
doesn’t matter. What matters is the level of detail you
apply and how vivid the picture is in your mind. Put this
frame up either in a gallery, on your living room wall, or
wherever else you wish. Try out a few different spots
until you find the one that feels right, and mentally
observe others looking at it.

Pay attention to how you feel watching this in your

mind, is the memory still bad or stressful? You should
have noticed that your negative emotions have
lessened significantly. Keep repeating this exercise over
and over, which will dampen the negative association
even more.
 
 
What happens when you do this is your mind starts seeing
your negative memory as simply a photo. You become more
detached from the memory, emotionally, allowing NLP to
trick your mind into seeing the memory as a horrible thing.
You are essentially priming your mind to stop allowing
memories to hold power over you. This can be done with any
negative memory associated with eating or your weight, and
eventually, you will notice your overall attitude changing, as
a result.
 
 
Technique 2: NLP Timeline Technique
This method is a tool for changing your psychology, allowing
you to control your future and even re-write certain elements
of the past. This is able to happen by giving you a tool to
alter the associations and meanings of negative past
experiences, in addition to installing positive and useful
beliefs related to the future and experiences that have not
happened yet. This can be useful for rewriting your ideas of
past experiences related to your relationship with food and
weight gain, as well as having a palpable control over your
future.
 
Although you may not consciously think of it in this way,
everyone represents their experiences happening on the
timeline of their life. The inner representations of the future,
present, and past all differ from person to person, but they
also share a lot of common factors.
 
● How to Discover your Timeline: To figure out what
your timeline looks like, try to imagine an event that
occurred in your life recently, while closing your eyes.
Then, switch to recalling a memory that occurred longer
ago, at least a few years in the past. Pay attention to
where this memory appears to be happening, in relation
to where you are physically positioned. Perhaps you are
looking to the side or straight ahead. Next, follow these
same instructions but while imagining an experience in
your future.

This exercise will help you gain a brief understanding of

your personal timeline, as you experience it in your
mind. Most will recall the past as behind their bodies,
with future events in front of them. Other people
imagine that their line of memories goes from left to
right, or right to left. Although these are a couple
examples of how people might experience their
memories and future projections, they are not the only
ways, and the important thing here is to see how yours
looks.
● How to Use your Timeline: Using your personal
timeline is effective for strengthening your power to
visualize, by amplifying associations you have between
what you imagine and what you experience in reality.
Doing this allows for your visual memories to be
experienced as more vivid, letting them change
behavior or feelings that you wish to alter.
 
For example, say you’ve made mistakes or had negative
experience from the past, which call to mind negative
feelings when you remember them. You may wish to get
 rid of the bad emotions that come along with the
memories, in order to get in touch with lessons that
stuck with you a result of them.

Start with imagining an experience you wish to alter in

some way, but don’t bother going into too much mental
detail yet, only a rough picture of what occurred. Get
into a calm state of mind by breathing deeply. Once you
have closed your eyes, picture your consciousness
floating above your physical self, allowing you to look
down at the timeline of your memories. Start to move,
mentally, toward your past experiences along this
timeline, and continue this motion until you’ve reached
the exact moment of the specific memory.
● Wash the Negative Away: While you are looking
down at the memory, begin draining any bad feelings
that are attached to this experience or memory, which
you can do by watching water flow over it, or purposely
changing the experience’s color. Now, you can notice
any positive results that came from this, such as lessons
you learned, and turn them up. This can be done by
visualizing a glowing, bright light over the lessons.
 
 
This will help you reprogram your subconscious to keep the
valuable data you’ve learned from overeating, but do away
with the shame about weight loss it has led to. After all, this
journey was not a waste of time, and you learned a lot about
yourself and what you don’t want, which is valuable. Without
these harmful emotions clouding your mind, you can make
healthier choices much easier, which will lead to weight loss
and a healthier body. Take note of the effect of this powerful
technique as you use it over the next few days. Record your
observations in your journal.
 

 
Technique 3: Confidence Boosting NLP Visualization
Visualization is helpful for getting in touch with the root of
emotional eating. Here are the steps for doing exactly that:
 
1. Get Relaxed: Use the same deep breathing technique
for relaxation that we went over in previous chapter.
Once you are calm and focused, after breathing deeply
for at least 10 minutes.
2. Envision your Memories: Once you are in this calm
place, envision your lack of confidence and notice what
 picture pops up in your mind to represent this
disempowered state. This could be a specific memory
from childhood, or something else entirely. This is only
meant to represent your struggle.
3. Envision Strength and Self-Love: Now that you have
a visual culprit that represents your emotional struggle,
picture yourself acting assertively in that situation. For
example, if you were talked down on by a teacher in
middle school and have had self-esteem issues since
then, picture yourself telling your teacher why he is
wrong, and allow yourself to feel the strength that
comes from that.
 
 
Do this practice at least once a day. This exercise will
increase your self-love and help you feel more confident in
difficult situations, including any struggles you may
encounter on your journey to weight loss. Over the next few
days, record your observations and reflections that arise
from using this technique.
 
 
Chapter 5 : The Healthy Exercise
Habit
 
Exercise is not going to have a dramatic impact on weight
loss compared with caloric intake. According to researchers,
and one particular researcher at Texas University who
studied this subject, what you eat has more of an effect on
your body and weight than how often you exercise. This
doesn’t mean that you should abandon fitness and activity,
but when it comes to losing weight quickly, what you’re
eating matters most of all.
 
 
● The Calorie Burning Process: Studies show that 70
percent of the calories that your body burns throughout
the day are accounted for by your basal metabolic rate.
This describes the energy needs for your body’s basic
functions such as breathing. This means that stuffing
yourself on junk and hoping to burn it off at the gym the
next day is really just taking a step forward, and a
couple steps backward, while hoping for change.
● It’s all about Food Choices: Only the remaining 30
percent of calories are consumed by a combination of
your body processing food, and actual physical activity
such as walking or exercise. Therefore to get the most
dramatic weight loss effects, we must focus on the
 consumption of calories, because it will give us the
greatest control over weight loss. It’s all about what you
put into your body, not necessarily what you do with it.
 
Burning foods off that are high in fat and calories takes time,
and lots of it. Although exercise does burn these calories off,
it isn’t as much as people believe, and it isn’t as fast as
people believe, either. The logical conclusion to be drawn
here is that to burn off more fat, eat fewer foods that are
high in calories. If you wanted to burn off 3,000 calories, you
would have to walk 30 miles. The average candy bar has
about 500 calories. What seems easier; walking five miles
every day, or simply not eating the candy bar?
 
● Meal Modifications: In 2014, a study done on
nutrition discovered that when people replaced their
meals with healthier options and ate more protein, they
received better results than people who just exercised
and didn’t change the way they ate.
● Building Muscle Helps, as Well: This doesn’t mean
that a fitness routine won’t help you with losing weight,
and in fact, some research shows that people who
manage to stay at their ideal weight eat healthy and
also exercise regularly. This could be because muscle
helps you burn a higher number of calories. This is a
pretty convincing reason to take up a habit of exercise.
● Other Benefits of Exercise: We all know that
exercise is good for us, but did you know that it also
improves your sex life, changes the way your genes
 express themselves, clears up your skin, and improves
your levels of happiness and satisfaction with life?
Studies show that exercise also helps you sleep and
lowers stress, and as we have learned, stress is what
leads to weight gain. When your body is operating at its
peak performance, you have less time to crave
unhealthy foods.
 
Exercise can be a great habit to set, which can actually help
to add laser-focus to your weight loss goals. If you have a
workout routine set up every day, you are going to be
instilling a healthy mentality and you will have to exert less
mental focus to not eat unhealthy foods. Your excess energy
will have been burned off in a beneficial way that leaves you
less distracted, less stressed, and less prone to reach for a
bag of Cheetos. But not all of us think of exercise in a
positive light, so how do you train your brain to appreciate
this activity? The first step is getting rid of your resistance to
the idea of it.
 
 
 
NLP Techniques to Enjoy Exercise
 
Technique 1: Reframing Inner Resistance
Every human in this world experiences resistance throughout
life, especially while attempting to do something important
or life changing. This can be anything from forming a
meditation habit, working your way up at the office, or, as
this section will focus on, starting to exercise. No matter
what you are trying to change, if you’re attempting to grow,
you will experience resistance. Although resistance can be
depressing and disempowering, seeming like a constant
struggle, it’s something we all encounter, and you can beat
it.
 
● Where does Resistance Happen in the Brain?
There is activity in your prefrontal region, on the right
hand side, when you are undergoing resistance or
avoidance. This is the same area that comes alive when
negative feelings take us over. To change this, you must
intentionally try to move this activity over to the left
hand side of your prefrontal area, which is commonly
linked with a resilient approach to new things in life. We
will go over step by step instructions on achieving this.
● Procrastination Explained: Why do people take so
long to finally begin losing weight or eating better, even
though they know they should? The truth is, resistance
can set us back a lot, and it doesn’t go away easily. This
is heavily ingrained in us, the habit of moving away
from that which we expect to be uncomfortable, and
instead stay with familiarity. This is hardwired into our
minds and habits, strengthened through repetition and
constant actions based around it. Our brains have us so
locked in with our habits that a lot of the time, we barely
notice it.
 
 
How to Handle Resistance in your Weight Loss
Journey:
 
● Expect it: You can only be prepared for resistance if
you expect it to happen. If you refuse to see it as a
possibility, you are only harming yourself, because you
won’t be prepared when it strikes. Remember that we all
encounter this, and it’s possible to work through it if you
stay realistic. Any time you decide to undertake a new
habit, such as cooking vegetables whenever you get a
craving for chips, or grabbing some fruit when you really
want a cookie, expect resistance. It isn’t a sign that you
are weak or doomed to fail, but instead that you are
attempting to grow as a person. Resistance is a positive
thing; a sign that you are moving in the right direction.
So don’t condemn this emotion within yourself; embrace
it.
● Notice Resistance: The next step is noticing
resistance when it pops up throughout your day. As soon
as you notice that you are resisting the act of refusing
that second portion, or resisting a healthier option for
dinner, you have placed some space between resistance
and you, which places you in control, rather than at the
mercy of habit. This is the process that usually happens
outside of our awareness, and getting in touch with it is
absolutely necessary for moving beyond it.
● Experience the Feeling: Now you should pay
attention to the way this resistance makes you feel. This
 is important so you can recognize it next time it comes
on. What sensations are happening in your body as this
resistance comes? Do you feel tense, is your pulse
heightened?
● Let it Go: The next step is simply allowing that
feeling of resistance to melt away. As soon as you can
label it for what it is, you can notice it when it appears
and let it leave you. For some, this method works best,
while others might prefer to see themselves smacking
the negative feelings away. This all depends on your
personality and the key here is to choose what works
best for you.
 
 
Technique 2: Enjoying Exercise NLP Visualization
It may sound impossible, especially if you’re not used to it,
but you can learn to enjoy exercising. You can start by
visualizing the idea of “losing weight or getting eaten”. As
we evolved, specific behaviors enabled us to thrive and
survive through adaptation. Humans who inhabited colder
regions and experienced shortages of food adapted to have
slower metabolism, conserving stores of fat in their bodies.
On the other hand, the human ancestors who were
constantly under the threat of being eaten by large
predatory animals benefited from the idea of either running
(exercising) or being eaten.
 
● Using your Survival Instinct: These ancestors

could run as though their lives depended on it, because

 this was often the case. When this technique becomes
active within you, your body tries to get thin because
it’s necessary for survival. The faster and thinner your
body is, the more likely you are to survive an animal
attack or outrun a beast. This exists inside of every
human being, but just needs to get activated. Although
large predatory animals are not much of a threat in our
modern day lifestyles, you can still use this tool, by
visualizing.
● Visualize while Walking or Biking: Next time you

are out for a walk, jog, or bike ride, envision a wild

animal behind you, trying to attack. Before you know it,
you will be sprinting as hard as you can. If you can
embody this sensation, your body will get an adrenaline
surge that enables you to run harder, or bike harder,
than you ever have in your life.
● Finding your Fitness: Many people have resistance
to the idea of exercise, but don’t realize that there is
something out there for everyone. For some people,
dance is the most gratifying way to get some cardio,
and for others, baseball is the ticket. When you find your
perfect fitness activity, it won’t even feel like an
obligation, because you’ll be having so much fun. The
choices are endless.
 
 
Conclusion: Sticking With Your Goal
 
Although you do have the power to change your habits,
mind, and as a consequence, your body, no one is perfect.
Along your journey it is possible for you to encounter
roadblocks, and your mental resolve will feel stronger some
days than others. One day, for instance, you might be feeling
particularly stressed out, and cave in to a piece or two of
chocolate cake. If this happens, don’t give up! This is what
separates the part time dieters who never make real
changes, from the people who gain back control over their
bodies and lives. Persistence is key in this journey of weight
loss.
 
● Repetition is the Key to Success: Remember that
tomorrow is a new day. In fact, the more times you
practice getting back on the horse after falling off, the
easier the habit becomes! Keep in mind, it takes the
average person about 30 days to ingrain a new habit.
Once these 30 days pass, you will find it easier to
continue with your healthier habits than to go back to
your old destructive ways.
 
● A Lifelong Journey: Losing weight is an ongoing
process. It isn’t a matter of simply dropping 50 pounds
and calling it a day, but of allowing these habits to set in
for life. Remember that you are on a journey to greater
 health and fitness, and a longer lifespan. Every ounce of
effort you put into this pursuit is surely worth it.
● Weight Loss Maintenance: Losing weight is the

start of the journey; the next challenge is keeping it off!

Re-examining your relationship with food as this book
has given you instructions for, will be the key to
maintaining your ideal body weight and shape. It is
easier to maintain healthy weight than it is to lose
weight, but you still have to consider what you have
learned from these techniques in order to stay on track
once you get there.
 
Remember that our bodies already know naturally and
instinctively how much we need to eat, and the weight we
need to be to maintain health. It’s simply a matter of
listening to yourself and remembering to heed your inner
signals. I hope that this book was helpful to you, and best of
luck on your journey!
 
 How to Analyze People
Analyze Anyone Instantly:
The Best Techniques to Read
People like a Book for
Increased Influence and
Instant Social Leverage
Table of Contents
Introduction
Determining Personality Type
DISC System
Myers Briggs Personality Analysis System
Introvert (I) vs. Extrovert (E)
Sensing vs. Intuition
Thinking vs. Feeling
Judging vs. Perceiving
Individual Analysis
Perceived Strengths
Perceived Weaknesses
Primary Motivations
Birth Order
First Child
Second Child (Middle Child)
Last-Born
Only Child
Belief Systems
Core Beliefs
Limiting Beliefs
Other Beliefs
 Unconscious Triggers
Building Blocks Of Analysis: Understanding Body
Language
Body Language
Arms Crossed in Front of Chest
Nail Biting
Hands on Cheek
Touching the Nose
Stroking the Chin
Head Nodding
Eye Contact
Lowered Gaze
Keeping Consistent Eye Contact
Glance (Conscious)
Facial Expressions
Smile
Crinkling of Eyes
Slanted Eyebrows
Widened Eyes and Eyebrows Slanted Upwards
Anger
Lowering of Eyes
Pursed Lips and Narrowed Eyes
Gestures with Hands and Arms
Clenched Hands
 Rubbing Hands
Pointing Fingers
Hands on Heart
Hands behind Your Back
Speech Pattern Recognition
Speaking Plainly
Sarcastic Tone
Suspenseful Tone
Sad Tone
Excited Tone
Notice the Pace of the Voice
Use of Words and Their Repetition
A Bit About Lie Detection
Lie Detection through the Eyes
1: Watch the Eyelids
2; Pointing of Eyes
3: Avoiding Eye Contact
4: Facial Expressions
5: Dilated Pupils
Lines on Forehead
Clearing of Throat
Backward Head Movement
Hard Swallowing
Statement Analysis to Determine Lie
Conclusion
 
Introduction
“Seeing the small is insight”
-Lao Tzu, Taoist and Philosopher
 
The ability to analyze people can benefit you in a number of
ways.
By studying someone, you get the advantage of knowing
that person’s feelings, emotions, and attitude even before
the person utters a single word.
Moreover, the ability to analyze people helps you understand
what the other person is going through. With this
understanding, you can become empathetic (if the situation
calls for empathy) and know what to do to make the person
feel comfortable. This not only makes you likeable, it also
fosters trusting relationships with those around you. When
people trust you, influencing them becomes easier.
You can also use your ‘people analysis’ skill to manipulate
people and subconsciously compel them to do as you please.
When you know what is going on in another person’s
head/mind, you can use that information to your advantage
and tactfully persuade that person. Psychiatrists and
detectives commonly use this skill to study and decipher
individuals with ease.
Analyzing people also comes in handy in numerous
situations. For example, if you are on a date, but your date
constantly touching her face and avoids eye contact when
you ask her a personal question, she is either telling you she
is not interested, is thinking about something else, or may
even be lying. By analyzing your date’s body language, you
easily understand what she is trying to communicate to you.
Or, let’s say your aim is to get a raise from your boss.
Wouldn’t you will be much more likely to persuade him if you
have an understanding of his values and decision making
process? Perhaps your goal is to ask a stubborn coworker to
help you on a project. How are you to know how to appeal to
their sense of sociability if you don’t understand their
personality?
You simply cannot underestimate the value of knowing how
to analyze people effectively.
Unfortunately, most people go through life not anticipating
the importance of this skill and miss out on the opportunities
and social leverage it can afford. Additionally, even if they
know how to make observations about body language,
typically people do not have a strategy for interpreting the
information, and therefore can’t benefit from really
understanding the psychology behind someone’s words and
actions.
The solution is to develop a habit of becoming aware of what
people are really communicating to you - understanding that
most people do not explain their thought processes outright,
and you have to do some interpretation.
The good new is, simply by having an interest in learning
how to analyze people, you will find yourself becoming more
observant about other people’s actions and what they are
really saying when you read between the lines.
Analysis comes down to 2 important elements: Observation
and Interpretation.
Observation of body language and non-verbal cues is
important to master, as humans speak more through their
eyes and bodily gestures than actual words. If you can
decipher the meaning locked in expressions, body language,
and gestures, you can better understand what they are really
communicating, both consciously and unconsciously. In the
second part of this book, we will cover overall body language
cues, speech pattern recognition and the basics of lie
detection, an essential skill.
Interpretation is about using the knowledge gained
through careful observation to derive gain an increased
awareness of a person’s thoughts, feelings, and general
behaviours. In this book we will cover several personality
analysis systems that will aid you to determining a person’s
behaviour and give you an accurate picture of their
motivations.
By using the information gained from newfound
observational skills, as well as you ability to determine
personality types, you will develop a framework for being
able to analyze and read people quickly and easily.
Determining Personality Type
To be successful at analyzing people, you have to approach
the seemingly nebulous factor of ‘personality’ in a very
scientific way. The first thing we want to take note of is the
fact that people people tend to fall into different personality
categories based on their different mindset, how they act,
and perceive things. Imagine that people are like computers:
Determining personality based on type is a bit like figuring
out which ‘program’ someone is running.
As stated before, people who share the same thoughts and
ideas often appear to have a similar personality. For
example, if you and your friend both enjoy each moment as
it comes and stay in the moment and, it means you and your
friend have a ‘perceptive’ personality and are likely to share
similar thoughts in other areas of life as well.
To determine your target’s exact personality, there are
several systems of personality analysis which you can study
in depth. The type of system you use depends on why you
are trying to analyze someone. For instance, if you are an
employer trying to analyze a potential hire capable for the
job based on abilities, then you might want to use the DISC
system.
DISC System
DISC is a personal assessment tool used by over a million
people to improve work productivity, teamwork, and ability
to communicate. DISC stands for dominance, influence,
steadiness, and conscientiousness.
The DISC system is an online personality assessment you
can use to analyze your personality type. It consists of an
electronic questionnaire that has questions with various
options where you select the option that suits you the most.
The DISC system is best if you wish to analyze your abilities
based on teamwork, examine how well you can handle
stress, and manage a group of employees. To learn more
about your personality using the DISC system click here.
Take the test first, to see where you fall. This will give you a
framework for being able to analyze others and make sense
of their personality with this system. When you have taken
the test, you will notice that your personality is broken down
into percentages of each component:
Dominance: People with a high Dominance factor tend to
have strong personalities, good leadership skills, and value
personal independence. They are determined and confident
and often results oriented. However, they may lack patience
and their big picture approach may mean they sometimes
lack the ability to follow through on projects down to the
details.
Influence: People in this category are interested in
relationships. They are great at collaborating with others,
and are motivated by social recognition and can easily
influence and persuade others. They are warm, sociable and
magnetic, and often popular. However, they can sometimes
lack the ability to stay focused on a task and follow through
completely.
Steadiness: This type is hardworking and consistent. They
are detail oriented and they are focused on personal
accomplishments. They value group acceptance, and may
seek leadership through formal positions of authority.
However, they are sometimes slow to adapt to new
circumstances and tend to avoid change.
Conscientiousness: People with a high percentage of this
factor are motivated by quality of work, and operate within
existing circumstances to achieve the best possible result.
They are consistent workers, and follow through on their
work, valuing both accuracy and tact. However, they may
need to learn how to become better at social collaboration
and make an effort to participate more in group activities.
These are the four types within the DISC system. Your score
will be an amalgamation of different percentages of each
one, showing you which types you tend to exhibit most. For
instance, you may have high Dominance and low Steadiness;
which would mean you like to take control of situations, but
may have trouble following through on small details.
Understanding these things about yourself will allow you to
become a better team player. In addition, being able to
organize people into these categories will allow you insight
and greater control over group dynamics.
While the DISC system is very good for understanding team
dynamics and workplace scenarios, you can use other
personality analysis systems to determine personality from a
broader perspective. One such system is the Myers Briggs
system.
 
Myers Briggs Personality Analysis System
This system is the most reliable analysis system that gives
very accurate results. The Myers and Briggs system bases its
results on four dichotomies (Introverts vs Extroverts,
Intuition vs Sensing, Thinking vs Feeling, and Judging vs
Perceiving) making 16 possible combinations of personality.
Of course, similar to the DISC system, no one will be a
perfect match to their Myers-Briggs personality type because
every individual will have different experiences that shape
who he or she is. (We will get into that very specific analysis
in the next section). However, the Myers-Briggs system will
provide a helpful framework that will help you uncover the
intricacies of others’ personalities.
The great thing about this system is that it is not necessary
to have a person sit down and take the test so you can
determine their personality type. Rather, there are ways you
can covertly analyze your target and therefore determine
(with great accuracy) where your target falls in the
personality spectrum.
While this system takes a bit of effort to use, its insight into
analyzing people is invaluable. Furthermore, the more
comfortable you get at identifying the personality types as
detailed in this system, it will be easier to analyze someone
the next time you wish to do so. Again, you may also wish to
take this test for yourself so you can have a frame of
reference as you seek to understand the different personality
types.
Using this system to covertly analyze people is simple.
Simply determine where they fall in each of the 4
dichotomies (Introverts vs Extroverts, Intuition vs Sensing,
Thinking vs Feeling, Judging vs Perceiving). Once you have
this information, you will have a four letter combination such
as INTJ. Using this code, look up their personality type and
read all about them, without them even knowing!
Once you use this system to determine your target’s four
characteristics, you can determine a great deal of
information about who the person is and what motivates him
or her as a person.

Introvert (I) vs. Extrovert (E)

Introverts are likely to be hesitant; they avoid social
interactions, are generally withdrawn or cautions, and keep
their thoughts and feelings to themselves. On the other
hand, Extroverts are very interactive and utilize energy from
the outer world. They are easily adaptable and confidently
deal with and enjoy social situations. Extroverts are often the
life of the party, but on the other hand they need other
people to thrive.
Let’s look at an example. If your friend avoids meeting
people, likes sitting in a quiet place, and hardly shares what
is on her mind, that friend is most likely an introvert. An
extremely introverted person’s body language shows rigidity
in public. They may avoid going to crowded areas and try to
find a quiet place to chill out. They are most comfortable
when spending time alone rather than attending parties.
Even in social gathering, introverts may tend to avoid
physical contact or involvement in long conversations with
new people.
Introverts keep their body language closed and talk in a soft
tone to avoid attention. For instance, when you try to engage
someone in conversation and suddenly, he/she stiffens,
starts avoiding eye contact and talks quickly in order to cut
short the conversation, by observing these signs, you will
easily identify the person you are talking to as an Introvert.
Extroverts are the complete opposites. They like getting
involved in conversations and like being around people. They
talk more to keep the conversation going and exhibit many
gestures as they talk. They like drawing attention to
themselves.
Next time you are analyzing someone, first make
observations to determine whether that person is an
Introvert (I) or an Extrovert (E). Then, move on to the next
personality factor.

Sensing vs. Intuition

Intuition is the natural ability that allows you to know about
something without tangible proof. Intuition helps you sense
something wrong or good to come ahead. People with a
strong intuition trust their sixth sense and gut feeling to
explore data more deeply rather than a Sensing type.
Intuitive people are future oriented and believe in being
innovative rather than following traditional trends. People
who believe in their intuition make decisions by being fully
aware of the consequences ahead. They find different
solutions to solve a problem by trusting their instinct. For
instance, whenever and Intuitive type encounters a
challenge, they may use their sixth sense and intuition to
make an informed decision. They may close their eyes,
analyze the difficult situation in my head, and try to tap into
their intuitive side to find an appropriate solution to the
problem. Instead of logically analyzing the situation and
rummaging through data, they go with a gut feeling.
On the other hand, people with a strong sensory ability
believe only what they see and experience. They make
decisions with a conscious mind instead of trusting their
subconscious mind. Sensors limit themselves to data and do
not think beyond what can be tangibly proven.
They believe in logic rather than trusting their sixth sense.
They focus more on what is practical and closer to reality.
However they may tend to follow the trodden path instead of
finding new possibilities and ways.
How someone uses language (words) can easily help you
analyze if a person is an intuitive type or sensing type.
Intuitive people always make things about themselves. If
facing a problem, they use their ideas and experiences to
find a solution. In a conversation, they will say “I believe, I
feel, I think, or in my opinion,” quite often.
Sensing types however, start and end conversations with
logic. They avoid repetition and do not give personal real life
examples until asked.
So is the person you are analyzing a Sensing type (S), or an
Intuitive type (N)? Once you have this letter determined,
move on to the next section.

Thinking vs. Feeling

This dichotomy refers to how people make decisions.
Thinkers make decisions based on a fact or a principle. They
analyze the pros and cons and make logical decisions. They
make decisions using their brain instead of listening to their
hearts. They always look for logical solutions and
explanations. While making decisions, thinkers can be very
impersonal, and try to not let their emotions cloud their
judgement. They like to see the basic truths involved, rather
than relying on what others feel.
As opposed to this, those driven by emotions and feelings
value these two elements more than logical thought and
reasoning. If you make decisions keeping in mind the views
and sentiments of other people involved in a situation, it
means you value feelings more than logical reasoning and
belong to the ‘feeling’ category.
Take a moment to think about the person you are analyzing
again. Do you think they are a Thinking (T) type, or more of a
Feeling, (F) type? When they make decisions, do they do it
based on facts and logic, or are they more concerned about
the emotions of others and value tact over complete
honesty?

Judging vs. Perceiving

Someone who has a Judging style or personality is well
prepared for the outer world. Such people are well-
organized, good planners, and to avoid stress, give their best
in every aspect. They believe in doing work beforehand and
work best before meeting deadlines. They can sometimes
have more of a rigid body language, fast gait, and narrowed
eyebrows showing their concern regarding work.
On the other hand, someone with a Perceiving personality is
more flexible at adapting to new changes compared to
someone with a Judging personality. Because they have a
strong self-belief, the perceiving types are comfortable
making decisions without any specific plans and are good at
multi-tasking. They avoid involving themselves in activities
that drive them away from their freedom of experimenting.
Someone who has a Perceiving personality will have a
relaxed body posture with high spirit. He or she will believe
in having light conversations, allowing others to share their
ideas, and tend not to engage in stressful conversations
regarding work. They challenge the stress instead of letting it
challenge them.
So is the person you are analyzing more of a Judging (J) type
or a Perceiving (P) type? Do they approach life as if it were a
checklist of accomplishments, or are they more easy going
and apt to freestyle, not completely sure of their next move?
Now that you have identified the four dimensions of
personality as displayed by your target, you can look up their
personality type online, and read a full summary of their
personality profile. One great website you can use is
www.16personalities.com. So, if you have determined that
your target is likely Extrovert (E), Intuitive (I), Feeling (F), and
Judging (J), read the profile of an ENFJ, ‘The Protagonist’ to
get a sense of his or her personality in detail.
Keep in mind, of course, that more analysis will need to be
done to further understand the person through their life
unique experience. Let us now go a step further and learn
about individual analysis.
Individual Analysis
Despite the reliability of the Myers-Briggs test, we know that
all people are going to be highly individual in how they
express their personality types. Not everyone in a certain
personality type is going to be the same in terms of ways of
how they act, what they are motivated by, etc.
Many factors in a person’s life experience influence a
person’s specific personality. This can be confusing if you do
not know where to look. However, there are a couple key
things that when determined, will allow us great clarity into
your target’s individual personality.
Using what you learned about personality type, you can
apply these principles to uncover more information about
your target’s true individual personality. You can also gain a
great deal of information about these things through
conversation while of course, framing your questions in a
politely curious way, rather than asking questions that may
be too personal. Here, you will have to use your judgment to
determine the best way to extract detailed information from
your target.
To better analyze someone, you need to be aware of that
person’s perceived strengths and weaknesses. Let us find
out what these are.
Perceived Strengths
Your perceived strengths are the qualities and strengths you
want people to see in you. For instance, if you are good at
dancing and are a humble person, you exhibit your dance
skills in front of people and are always humble because that
is how you want people to see you.
Similarly, your target has some perceived strengths.
Knowing your target’s strengths helps you encourage and
boost your target’s confidence. This helps you easily
communicate with and influence them.
For instance, if you meet someone whose biggest strength is
designing clothes, you can boost that person’s confidence by
appreciating his or her work and giving him or her the
confidence to exhibit his/her talent to the world. This will
cause the person to like you and gradually consider you a
confidant worth listening to simply because you admired the
person’s personal prowess.
To determine your target’s perceived strengths, spend time
with the target; analyze what he or she is good at, how he or
she sees him or herself, and how he or she wants the world
to perceive him/her.
For instance, if your brother constantly talks about how
helpful he is to his friends, it means he wants people to
perceive him as a helpful person. If your father never stops
talking about his bravery, it means he wants you to perceive
him as a bold and courageous person.
In addition to analyzing your target’s strengths, you also
need to understand his or her weaknesses. Let us explore
this further:
Perceived Weaknesses
Your perceived weaknesses are the shortcomings you want
to hide from the world or shortcomings you feel the need to
compensate for or be compensated for. Similarly, the people
you wish to analyze has some perceived weaknesses.
For instance, if your best friend is has a habit of using
marijuana, but tries to hide it from the people who respect
him, it means he is not proud of his perceived weakness.
For varied reasons, it is important to be aware of your
target’s perceived weaknesses. First, it allows you a chance
to help your target get better or overcome weaknesses, thus
causing the target to trust you, which then makes
persuading such a person easier.
Secondly, knowing your target’s perceived weaknesses helps
you influence that person and cause him or her to pay heed
to your advice in certain situations. For instance, if your
marijuana-addicted friend refuses to lend you his car, you
may understand that it is because he does not want others
to know of his habit, not because he doesn’t trust you with
his car.
Moreover, it is also important to know of your target’s
primary motivations.
Primary Motivations
Another important factor that helps you understand people
well is their primary motivation(s). Primary motivations are
the ultimate desires, ambitions, and wishes that drive your
behavior and influence you. For instance, if you are
passionate about singing, your primary motivation is singing
since you aspire to become a renowned international singer.
To get better insight into people, you need to know about
their primary motivations so you can know what drives and
inspires them. Your target’s perceived strengths and
weaknesses help you understand the target’s primary
motivations.
A person’s perceived strengths and weaknesses often serve
as the motivating factors behind that person’s primary
motivations.
For example, if someone wants others to perceive him as a
generous person, then he will give donations and collect
funds for helpless people. On the other hand, someone
perceived as being poor may aspire to become incredibly
rich at some point in his or her life.
Additionally, look for your target’s fears. This will mostly
relate to your target’s perceived weaknesses. Your target’s
fears help you know what scares him/her so you can use that
information to improve your communications.
If you want to improve the target’s self-confidence, you can
help him/her move past his fears. For example, if your sister
lacks confidence, she may be scared of speaking publicly. If
you see her behaving strangely in a crowd or in front of a
complete stranger, you can easily identify her fear and will
be better able to talk with her and give her the confidence
she needs the next time she has to speak in front of people.
In addition to this information, knowing someone’s birth
order can help you to effectively analyze people.
Birth Order
You may not think that birth order is of great importance in
predicting the behavior of adults, but in fact, determining a
target’s birth order can yield great insight.
The role someone plays while growing up will continue to
have an impact on how that person looks at the world even
as the person grows to become an adult. The treatment
accorded to you in your childhood determines your
personality and your perception about yourself and of the
world.
For instance, if you are the first child, it is likely you received
the most attention from your parents, which is why you are
more confident than the rest of your siblings. Let us study
the characteristic of different birth orders so you can know
how to dig a little more into your target’s personality.

First Child
During the birth of a first child, parents are more attentive
and concerned about the child’s health, upbringing, and the
activities the child is involved in. The extra parental care and
attention is likely to turn the first child into a ‘perfectionist’.
The following are the common characteristics that can help
you identify firstborns:
● Firstborns are trusted to be very reliable because in
their parent’s eyes, they are perfect.
● Firstborns are highly motivated towards success.
 ● They like taking charge of the situation and try their
best to please their parents.
● They are highly confident and determined.
● Their body language is mostly strong and shows their
self-belief.

Second Child (Middle Child)

Most parents raise their second child in a more relaxed
manner. The attention given to the second child competes
with that given to the first child. Middle children are often the
opposite of the first child.
The following are the common characteristic of the second
child:
● Lack of attention given to the second child makes the
child insecure and secretive.
● Second born children are attention seekers.
● They are more independent because they do not rely on
their parents or elder siblings.
● They are rebellious and have “I have my own life”
attitude.
● Second born children are peacemakers because their
birth order allows them to see all sides of a situation.

Last-Born
Last-born children or the youngest child in the family is the
family’s baby. The characteristic of the last-born children are
as follows:
 ● They have a carefree attitude because they share no
responsibility.
● They are spoiled and have chances to develop a
rebellious personality because of the extra love given to
them.
● Last-born children can lighten the atmosphere with their
presence.
● They are likely to be stubborn thanks in part to the extra
love and care they receive.

Only Child
A singleton is an only child. Compared to children who have
one or more siblings, singletons are likely to receive extra
parental attention. Here are the basic characteristics of an
only child.
● Their self-esteem and self-confidence levels are high
because they receive undivided parental love and
attention. This is visible through their confident gait, style
of talking, and body language.
● Because they never had to share their belongings with
anyone, they have a high sense of privacy. They may act a
little private amongst other kids and may not easily settle
in because they need more time and space to adjust to
new surroundings.
● They are independent and enjoy doing things
independently. They may also not be good team players. If
you see someone, who does not adjust well to a group and
 demands to work alone, that person is most likely a
singleton.
In addition to the birth order, a person’s gender also
influences his or her behavior, attitude, and thinking pattern.
If someone is a second child male, he is likely to be more
dominant than a female second born. Since males usually
assume different roles in society and with their siblings, their
behavior is different from their female counterparts.
If a second born male has an elder sister, he is still likely to
be more confident and boisterous than his sister.
Hence, whenever you analyze a person, also consider the
person’s birth order and gender.
Belief Systems
Religious and spiritual beliefs are certainly an important
factor, but the term ‘belief system’ refers to a broader range
of possibilities. This is about determining the framework that
someone has for ordering his or her life experiences.
Each of us has a different belief system based on what we
think ‘makes sense’ or has some ‘logic’. The life experiences
we go through greatly influence how we build our belief
systems.
For example, your best friend strongly believes being a
failure does not make you a loser. This is so because he
never looked back at his failure and instead, worked harder
to attain his goals. The experience one goes through greatly
influence that person’s belief systems.
Beliefs often determine what is possible as well as what
someone is likely to achieve. The best show of this is the
famous anecdotal story of the first 1954 4-minute mile run
by Roger Bannister.
Before that record-breaking event, the populace (even
seasoned runners) believed it was impossible to run a 4-
minute mile. Part of Roger’s training involved rigorous
visualization of the certainty that running a mile in under 4-
minutes was indeed possible.
After Roger broke that record, many runners all of a sudden
started running a mile in under 4 minutes. Roger Bannister’s
historic run changed many people’s belief systems and
helped them turn their negative beliefs into positive ones.
All the life experiences we go through have a different
impact on our belief system based on our life experiences.
How you (or someone else) perceives the world depends
upon the treatment given to him by the world.
For instance, if you meet someone who is full of positive
energy, someone who is ready to accept challenges and
believes in spreading love, this person’s positive attitude
tells you his/her belief system is about a happy and peaceful
world.
On the other hand, if you meet a person who is not confident
and avoids social interactions, you will pick up clues of the
person having bad experiences that shattered his self-belief.
Your target’s beliefs give you a deeper understanding of the
target’s thought process. What the target believes in clearly
tells you how he or she perceives the world. For instance, if
your brother believes in his abilities, he is likely to behave
confidently, talk assertively, and always take responsibility
for tasks assigned to him.
On the other hand, if your cousin always complains of how
unfair life is, is seldom happy, and always acts as the victim
in a challenging situation, his demeanor helps you
understand he has a negative belief system.
In addition to understanding your target’s general belief
system, also seek to gain insight into the target’s core
beliefs, limiting beliefs, and other beliefs such as social,
economic, religious, and political beliefs because
understanding these things will help you understand the
person that much better.

Core Beliefs
Core beliefs are the beliefs we truly believe in; they help us
set the principles we base how we live our lives on. For
instance, a core belief could be honesty and sincerity; if a
person is always honest and sincere in their professional and
personal dealings with people they have a strong value
system that determines how they act.
You can determine someone’s core belief through his or her
speech and his/her outlook on the outer world. If you meet
someone who very enthusiastically talks about how happy
he is to help people and the appreciation he gets from
others, you can conclude that this person’s core belief is to
become a better person and spread positivity.

Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are the negative thoughts that stop you from
attaining your full potential. For instance, if you believe you
cannot be a better person, then that belief is your limiting
belief.
You can identify someone’s limiting beliefs by spending time
with the person and talking about how he or she views him
or herself and life in general. If you are talking to someone
who talks about his passion of becoming a writer but is
holding back his talent because he fears he cannot become a
good writer, it clearly shows he nurtures a limiting belief
about his potential.
Other Beliefs
We have many other beliefs such as religious, political,
economic, and social beliefs. Covertly research and
interrogate your target’s other beliefs so you can know what
things he or she believes in.
For instance, if your friend practices Hinduism and is strictly
religious, you know you should not say anything against the
religion in front of him.
Additionally, it is also important to pay attention to your
target’s unconscious triggers.
Unconscious Triggers
Unconscious triggers are the stimuli that unconsciously
affect us without our awareness. For instance, if someone
loses their temper if someone mentions politics, it may be
one of their unconscious stress triggers.
Similarly, each of us has some triggers that trigger different
emotions without our awareness. Everyone has experienced
life events that have produced great emotional reactions.
Sometimes even word/s will trigger a strong reaction in a
person if the word/s strongly ties to a memory.
To analyze people, take note of their unconscious triggers so
you can determine what makes them happy, sad, upset, and
feel other emotions. To do that, spend time with your target
and be attentive to his or her emotions.
If you notice the target’s happy expression changing to a sad
one, focus on what happened in that moment. Did someone
say something upsetting? Did the target eat something
terrible? Did he or she experience an emotional trauma?
Examining such things helps you know your target’s
unconscious triggers so you can use those triggers to
influence your target.
Now that we have identified these key areas of insight, we
have a very good understanding of who the target is as a
person. By practicing these observation techniques, you will
be in a position to analyze people more accurately.
When analyzing someone, one important thing you should
remember is to have an open mind and not let your
judgment and perceptions cloud your analysis.
Building Blocks Of Analysis:
Understanding Body Language
Now that we have a framework for understanding
personality, let’s discuss how to increase our powers of
observation.
The best way to analyze people is by keenly observing the
signals they transmit non-verbally. If we carefully observe
people in any social situation, (for instance at a party, a
romantic dinner, or in a job interview), we become aware
that they are continuously broadcasting hundreds of signals
to us every second through their body language, speech
patterns, and unconscious gestures. Our subconscious picks
up on all of these signals; however, not all of this information
can possibly be processed by our conscious mind.
According to research conducted by UCLA, only 7% of our
communication with others consists of the words we actually
say. The rest of the conversation, a whopping 93%, consists
of body language and the tone of your speech with body
language comprising of 55% and tone accounting for around
38%of the conversation.
By understanding body language and tone variations, you
can easily read people. To gain a deeper understanding of
this concept, we need to look at a few examples:
Imagine one of your female friends is clinically depressed.
When you meet your friend, you focus more on her words
than her body posture. Later, upon recalling the
conversation, you start to remember that her hands were
shaking and she failed to maintain direct eye contact. In
such an instance, Focusing on her body language helps you
understand how bad her depressive state is.
Here is another instance; while you and your elder brother
are discussing politics, you see him crossing his arms in front
of his chest. While you may not understand the coded
message in this gesture, your brother is simply trying to say
that something you have said has offended him.
Your body language speaks volumes about what you feel and
think. To analyze people, you need to get a better
understanding of body language:
Body Language
The common belief is that body language refers to your body
posture only. While that notion has some truth to it, body
language refers to unconscious and conscious body postures,
movements, and gestures by which you communicate your
feelings, emotions, and attitudes. It not only includes your
posture, it also encompasses your facial expressions, eye
contact, and movement of your arms and legs.
By observing someone’s body language, you can easily
understand the person’s emotions without the need for
verbal cues. To understand this, let us go through some
common body postures and their meanings.
Arms Crossed in Front of Chest
This gesture indicates the person you are talking to is being
defensive or disagrees with you. For instance, if during a
group discussion, you raise a point that contradicts with your
friend’s opinion and he stiffly crosses his arms around his
chest, your friend is expressing disagreement
Nail Biting
Nail biting shows nervousness, stress, or a state of
confusion. People unconsciously bite their nails when tensed
or nervous. This body language gesture is common in
students sitting for an exam.
Hands on Cheek
If someone is sitting with hand on cheek and furrowed
eyebrows, it means the person is lost in thought. If you are
talking to someone and the person makes this gesture, it
means that person is not attentive and his or her attention is
somewhere else.
For example, if you meet a friend who is sitting with his hand
on his cheek, it means he is not concentrating on you and is
thinking deeply about something else. Through keen
observation, you can talk to your friend about what is
bothering him, thus showing him your concern.
Touching the Nose
If someone makes this gesture, it means the person is either
lying to you or showing rejection and disbelief in some
opinion. In many conversations, people give signals of
rejection by frequently rubbing their nose instead of directly
talking about it.
Moreover, if someone is hiding something from you, or is
lying about something, the person is likely to rub his or her
nose too.
Stroking the Chin
If someone makes this gesture, it means he/she is in deep
thought or is busy deciding something. If you often see, your
boss stroke his chin when thinking about an important
business decision or otherwise, you now know what this
gesture implies.
Head Nodding
If someone makes this gesture while talking to you, it means
he agrees with you. This submissive gesture tells you that
you and your listener are on the same page. For example, if
you have noticed your audiences nod their heads while you
present a speech, it means they agreed with you.
If someone does not nod his or her head when conversing
with you, it means the person disagrees with you or cannot
understand your point.
In addition to these gestures, the eye contact people make
with you communicates a lot about their hidden feelings. Let
us dig deeper into different sorts of eye contact.

Eye Contact
Eye contact is another signal that silently tells what the
other person is feeling or hiding. Eyes indicate attention,
interest, and your involvement with the next person. The
length of eye contact, blinking of the eye, and pupil dilation
are all cues of nonverbal communication
Let us find out what different types of eye contact mean.
Lowered Gaze
If you are talking to someone and then the person lowers his
or her gaze, it has two meanings: the person is lying or is
feeling shy. For instance, if you date a person and your date
finds it hard to maintain eye contact, smiles and lowers her
gaze, this says she is feeling shy.
On the contrary, if you ask your friend a personal question
and while answering, he avoids eye contact and has a blank
or worried expression on his face, it means he is hiding the
truth or is not comfortable sharing personal issues.
Keeping Consistent Eye Contact
If you are talking to someone and he maintains direct eye
contact without blinking or looking around, it means you
have that person’s full attention and he or she is fully
involved in the conversation. Direct eye contact shows the
level of confidence in your listener and the interest he/she
has in the conversation.
Glance (Conscious)
If someone sitting next to you breaks eye contact by looking
downwards, it means he or she is attracted to you but is
feeling shy. However, if he or she breaks eye contact by
looking towards the sides, it means he/she is not interested
in the conversation or in you.
Another important component of body language is your
facial expressions. Let us explore a few common facial
expressions and the meanings they hold.

Facial Expressions
The Face is the medium through which we express human
moods. Different facial expressions communicate different
things. Here are a few common facial expressions we often
use to express our emotions to others.
Smile
Happiness is a universal expression easily observed through
widened lips (smiling) and crescent shaped eyes. A smile
identifies a person’s happiness through his widened lips and
crescent eyes.
Crinkling of Eyes
When you smile, tiny crinkles form at the corners of the eye
indicating genuine happiness. If you want to observe
whether the person next to you is actually smiling or faking a
smile, then look for the crinkles at the corner of the eye. This
is the best way to analyze someone’s genuine happiness or
insincerity.
Slanted Eyebrows
If someone has slanted eyebrows and a frown, then you can
easily understand he is sad. The dullness of the eyes
indicates sadness or defeat. People show such facial
expressions when they are withdrawn and lack excitement.
Widened Eyes and Eyebrows Slanted Upwards
If you are talking to someone whose eyebrows appear
slanted upwards and eyes widened, it means the person is
fearful of something. In a 2008 scientific study conducted to
study the fearful face, researchers discovered that people
who show fear by breathing air and widening their eyes
could attract their target of fear towards them.
Anger
The demeanor of an angry person is unmistakable. An angry
person squeezes the eyebrows to form a crease and has
tight and narrowed eyelids. The person cheeks turn red due
to blood rushing through the body at a high speed and the
person lowers his or her head.
If someone is angry with you, the person’s facial expressions
and body posture will be stiff.
Lowering of Eyes
If you see someone lowering his eyes to avoid eye contact,
has a worried expression on the face, and points his head
downwards, it means they are ashamed of something.
Pursed Lips and Narrowed Eyes
If you see your spouse’s lips tightly pursed, eyes narrowed
and eyebrows raised, it means she is confused about
something.

Gestures with Hands and Arms

You can also analyze people by observing the movements of
their arms and hands. While communicating, people
unconsciously use their arms and hands to make gestures.
Hand gestures aid communication without verbal
discussions. The following are the most commonly observed
hand and arms gestures.
Clenched Hands
Clenched hands represent negative attitude, giving you a
signal of frustration or irritation. We clench hands in three
common ways: hands clenched in raised position, hands
clenched in middle position, and hands clenched in low
position. All three types represent negative moods.
You may have noticed your spouse clench his or her hands
whenever you are trying to convince her to do something
she is not willing to do; here, their clenched hands tell you
how frustrated they are with you.
Rubbing Hands
This hand gesture indicates excitement. Whenever you are
super-excited about something imminent, you are likely to
rub your hands. For instance, the time you knew your father
was buying you a bicycle, or when you and your best friend
were making hiking plans, you may have unconsciously
rubbed your hands together.
Pointing Fingers
Pointing your finger at someone is an authoritative gesture.
You usually make this gesture when you are imposing
yourself on others. Pointing a finger at someone shows
arrogance and anger towards a person. People often point
finger at others when insulting them or with the intent is to
make someone feel inferior.
When you become angry during a conversation, you start
pointing fingers at the person you are talking to as a gesture
to show your authority. Apart from pointing a finger at
others, many point fingers in the air. They do so to
emphasize their point during a conversation and to exhibit
their confidence. You may have seen preachers and
politicians make this gesture when emphasizing a point.
Hands on Heart
This hand and arm gesture shows sincerity and affection. It
indicates you are speaking directly from your heart. If
someone wants to convince you he or she is not lying to you
and is completely honest about a topic, he or she will place
his or her hand(s) on heart.
Hands behind Your Back
This gesture is common among men. Keeping your hands
behind your back shows your level of confidence because
having your hands behind the back exposes your front body
and you do not fidget. Sometimes, this gesture shows
respect for someone.
For instance, when talking to your boss (especially if you
greatly respect your boss or perceive him/her as an authority
figure), you are likely to place your hands behind your back.
All these unconscious gestures form different forms of body
language indicating your hidden emotions and feelings.
Some unconscious gestures or facial expressions directly link
to a thought pattern. If you identify them, you can unlock
anyone’s mind.
To explain this notion better, here is an example of poker.
Poker has a great involvement of facial expressions and hand
movement. The unconscious gestures exhibited by a player
can act as a hint for others to understand a player’s next
move. Touching the face is a common gesture used by
players when they are bluffing. If you know what this gesture
means, you can counter bluff.
Another important element of body language is speech
recognition. Let us deeply explore this factor.
Speech Pattern Recognition
A person’s tone speaks volumes about the person’s mood
and feelings. Voice is an important part of our personality; it
shows our age, gender, and few personality traits. Even a
single word you speak is enough to express the excitement,
sadness, or confusion in your voice.
You may have noticed the different tonal changes that occur
in your tone during the day. The change of your tone
depends on the person you are talking to or the kind of
message you are trying to convey.
If you meet an old friend after ages, your voice becomes
louder or shriller than normal because it is full of excitement.
If you are upset, your voice becomes harsh.
The changes in your tone clearly express the changes in your
moods, emotions, and feelings.
To understand people better, you need to understand the
kind of tone they use. The best way to understand different
tones is by using yourself as an example. This way, you will
realize the change in your voice due to change in moods or
emotions.
Read the following types of tones and relate them with the
tones you use every day.
Speaking Plainly
When nothing exciting is going on in your life, you talk with a
plain voice that hardly shows any emotion. If someone talks
to you with a plain voice, it means the person is bored with
his or her life or bored with you.
Sarcastic Tone
We use a sarcastic tone to taunt a person.
A stressful situation can also make your tone sarcastic
showing your frustration. For instance, if you are running for
president at your college, you are likely to talk to your
competitor in a sarcastic tone.
Suspenseful Tone
People often speak with the element of suspense in their
tone to make the conversation sound more exciting and to
gain the listener’s attention. They do this by taking sudden
pauses and controlling the rise and fall of the voice. With the
suspense element in your voice, a boring talk can become
interesting.
Sad Tone
When people talk in a slow and low voice, it shows their
resentment and sadness about something. If you are talking
to a friend who talks slowly with a low voice, it means
something is bothering him and he feels sad.
Excited Tone
A voice filled with excitement shows your enthusiasm and
happiness about something. When you are doing something
exciting such as going to a fun filled event or meeting an old
friend, your voice will be excited. When you are very excited,
you tend to speak loudly and quickly in a single breath.
While noticing the tone of your voice, it is also important to
analyze its pace so you can better understand people’s
emotions.

Notice the Pace of the Voice

The pace at which you speak reveals your level of confidence
or nervousness. For example, when you converse with a very
confident person, you will notice self-assurance in the
person’s voice; the person is likely to speak slowly and
clearly taking small pauses, making sure you understand and
follow the conversation.
Take your boss as an example. Your boss probably delivers
his/her thoughts and ideas in a low pace with strong voice
making sure he/she is loud and clear and everyone can
easily understand his/her points. The pace of his/her voice
and his/her tone of voice clearly exhibit high self-confidence.
On the other hand, if you talk to someone who lacks self-
belief, that person’s speech will be hushed and hurried to
display lack of self-confidence.

Use of Words and Their Repetition

After learning about the different tones as well as what they
mean, you should now focus on the words a person uses.
The words a person uses depict the thoughts going inside
the person’s mind. The kind of words a person uses to
express him or herself shows that person’s thoughts about
the people and things around him or her.
For example, if your friend constantly praises himself or uses
good words to describe his personality, then you will
understand the amount of respect he has for himself.
Let us look at another example of your neighbor who uses
the word ‘I’ in every conversation. This means your neighbor
focuses more on herself or she is a self-centered person who
only loves talking about herself.
Sometimes, the people you talk to continuously talk about
the same topic or repeatedly use specific words. This
indicates their attention is somewhere else. For instance, if
you are talking with your sister and she repeatedly talks
about the fight she had in school, this is your cue to
understand how angry she is and her attention remains
focused on that incident.
A common reason why most people learn how to analyze
people is to detect their lies. As such, we need to explain
how you can use body language and facial expressions to
detect a liar and a dishonest person.
 
A Bit About Lie Detection
Lie detection boils down to noticing the inconsistencies in
what someone is saying verbally and what someone is
projecting through body language or nonverbal cues. Lie
detection involves critically observing a person’s facial
expression, body language, and gestures.
Nonverbal cues are the most reliable ways to detect lies
because no matter how hard you try to lie, your body
unconsciously signals what it feels.

Lie Detection through the Eyes

You can easily tell what a person is thinking by looking into
his or her eyes. When a left-handed person tells a lie, his or
her eyes will move upwards towards the left. This eye
movement indicates they are visualizing or inventing a
response, rather than remembering one. The opposite is true
for right-handed people. While detecting lies through
someone’s eyes, remember the following points.
1: Watch the Eyelids
If someone closes his or her eyelids for a long time, it means
the person is trying to avoid eye contact. If the person blinks
more than 3 times, it is a sign of nervousness and
apprehension that you will catch him or her. If someone uses
the hands to cover his or her eyes, this is yet another sign
that the person wants to ‘block out’ the truth.
2; Pointing of Eyes
Our eyes point at things we find attractive or where our body
wants to go. If you are talking to someone who is lying, the
person will continuously look at the door or watch signaling
the desire to cut short the conversation because the person
is fearful you will catch the lie.
3: Avoiding Eye Contact
Breaking eye contact is the most basic way to identify a lie.
Someone who has complete confidence about what he or
she is saying will never avoid eye contact. However, if
someone is lying, he or she will definitely avoid eye contact.
4: Facial Expressions
Observing facial expressions can help you detect a lie. The
most common facial expressions observed in a liar are,
dilated pupil, the appearance of lines on the forehead,
narrowing of the eyebrows, and blinking eyes. Sweat on the
forehead and an angry expression are common with these
facial expressions.
5: Dilated Pupils
Pupil dilation indicates tension and concentration. When
someone gets worried about exposure, the pupils
unconsciously dilate as the person thinks of ways to hide the
lie. If you are talking to someone but you are unsure if the
person is honest or not, look at the person’s pupils for
answers.

Lines on Forehead
Someone who is lying will definitely have lines on the
forehead because of the stress the person has to bear as
he/she seeks ways to cover the lie.
Apart from the facial expression, we can also observe many
other gestures in a liar.

Clearing of Throat
If someone is lying to you, he or she will probably clear his or
her throat more than once as a nervous gesture due to
stress.

Backward Head Movement

When someone is telling a lie, the head always moves
backwards. This gesture occurs as the lying person tries to
avoid the source of anxiety because people tend to distance
themselves from things they dislike.

Hard Swallowing
Because the throat of someone who is lying becomes
immediately dry, the person swallows hard to bring moisture
back to avoid clearing his throat. This is common in people
trying to hide their lying.

Statement Analysis to Determine Lie

Analyzing someone’s lie through his or her statement is the
last step in lie detection. Sometimes what people say does
not support their body language. This allows you to detect
lies. People often stammer or talk at a fast pace as a way of
trying to avoid lie discovery.
For instance, if you suspect your classmate stole your
money, and when you ask her about it, you notice darting
eyes, nervousness in her tone, and her body language does
not support her statement that she did not steal the money,
it means she is lying and has stolen it or knows who did.
No matter how good a person is at lying, if the person’s body
language is not supportive of his or her statement, that
person is lying. To identify a liar, analyze someone’s body
language and determine if it matches with the person’s
statement. If the two contradict, you have a liar on your
hands.
You now have a complete idea on how to analyze your target
by studying body language, expressions, and gestures. This
was just one way to analyze people. If you wish to analyze
people more efficiently then you need a framework to
analyze all the information obtained from the target’s body
language and expressions.
Conclusion
Congratulations! You now have a framework you can use to
be able to analyze people effectively and gain an in-depth
understanding of their personality. Your careful observations
will allow you to influence people more easily, as well as
giving you an insight into their psychology and decision
making process.
You have also learned how to analyze body language by
observing their facial expressions, their gestures, and their
verbal tonality. Using the information contained in this book,
you will easily read the people around you like open books
themselves!
The best way to increase your ability to analyze people is to
practice the information in this book. Over time, you will
develop your abilities and become adept at reading between
the lines and understanding the psychology of others. As
mentioned previously, this single ability can become your
greatest asset in areas of business, relationships, and self
improvement.
 
 How to Talk to Anyone:
21 Tips for Instant Rapport
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Breaking the Ice
Tip 1: Know What Questions to Ask to Start a
Conversation
Tip 2: Politeness Always Wins
Tip 3: Take the Initiative!
Chapter 2: Mastering Non-Verbal Communication
Tip 1: Know How to Make Eye Contact
Tip 2: Make Others Feel Special - With Your Genuine
Smile
Tip 3: Become an Expert of Body Language
Chapter 3: Become A Genius of Small Talk
Tip 1: F.O.R.D.S - Family, Occupation, Recreation,
Dreams, Sports
Tip 2: Stay Up to Date on Current Topics
Tip 3: Ask Fun Questions - Think Outside the Box!
Chapter 4: Get Them Talking About Themselves
Tip 1: Genuine Curiosity Can Be Disarming!
Tip 2: Asking the Right Questions
Tip 3: Find Their Hot Buttons
Chapter 5: Finding Commonalities
Tip 1: Find Common Ground
Tip 2: Pacing & Rapport - Matching Frame
Tip 3: Creating Common Experiences
Chapter 6: Give Genuine Compliments
 Tip 1: Avoid Flattery - How to Be Sincere
Tip 2: Find Out What They Like About Themselves
Tip 3: Your Goal is to Eliminate Their Self - Doubt
Chapter 7: Be a Magnetic Personality
Tip 1: Positive Attitude
Tip 2: Humor
Tip 3: Appear More Intelligent to Others
Conclusion
 
 
Introduction
 
Imagine yourself at a party. Drinks are flowing, music is
playing, and everyone is having a great time. Where are
you? Are you in the middle of the room, chatting and
laughing, getting phone numbers and making friends? Or are
you in a corner, playing with your phone and wondering how
to infiltrate this strange world filled with dynamic, interesting
people? Now, imagine you are at a job interview. Your
qualifications are stellar, your experience exhaustive, your
references have nothing but praise for you. But, after the
interview, you never receive a call back. What went wrong?
Was it your choice of outfit? Did you answer the questions
incorrectly?
 
Whether navigating the social world, the business world, or
just making friends out of people you meet, well-developed
social skills are an absolute must. Shyness and social
awkwardness are common ailments, and nothing to be
ashamed of, but they are liabilities. You might be funny and
charming, intelligent and thoughtful, hardworking and
trustworthy--but without the social skills to communicate
well with others, how will anyone ever know the real you?
 
In How to Talk to Anyone: 21 Tips for Instant Rapport, you will
learn the best and most effective ways to not only handle all
situations with confidence, but to tap into your inner charm
and charisma and dazzle and impress everyone with your
social skills!
 
Chapter 1: Breaking the Ice
 
First things first: time to say “hello.” For many people, this is
the most challenging part of meeting new people. Each
social situation carries its own set of rules and pitfalls to be
navigated. Each new person is a mystery--with their own
likes, dislikes, histories and personalities. How do you know
what to say to them in particular? How do you know that
what you say will be taken well?
 
Let’s say you are meeting a new coworker for the first time.
You say hello and state your name, then you drift into silence
while you search for what to say next. The silence drags on
until your coworker either attempts to keep the conversation
alive, or just gives up and moves on. Even though your
silence was simply the product of shyness and anxiety, your
coworker may see things differently; they may think that you
are unfriendly, or they may take your silence personally and
think you simply don’t like them. They will be wary about
talking to you, and unsure of your competence. It need
hardly be said that this can have an adverse effect on not
only your work relationship, but on your job as well.
 
Similarly, at a social gathering, long awkward silences can
make the other participant think you are dull or disinterested
in them, and they will be likely to move on to someone else
for better conversation. After all, no one likes to talk to a
statue. Too much of this will leave you bored and ready to
leave, when you could be having a great time making new
friends and building lasting relationships.
 
But fear not--breaking the ice is not a difficult mountain to
climb. Just use the following tips to get you started.
 
Tip 1: Know What Questions to Ask to Start
a Conversation
 
So, how do you know what to say to start a conversation? It’s
simple: after your initial introductions, ask the other person
open-ended questions about themselves. “Open-ended” is
the operative term here; simple “yes” or “no” questions
leave little room for them to follow up. If you aren’t sure
what to ask about, start by considering your setting. For
example, if you are meeting a new coworker, you might start
by asking him about his time with the company. However,
instead of asking “Have you worked at XYZ Corp long?” try
asking “How long have you worked at XYZ Corp?” Instead of
responding with a simple one-word answer, your coworker
now has an avenue to talk about his time and experience on
the job. Here are some more conversation-starting
questions:
 
● “What do you enjoy about working here?”
● “What position did you hold when you started working
here?”
● “Is there anything you would change about your job
here?”
 
Questions like these have the added bonus of showing that
you are interested not only in them, but in your career path
as well.
 
Now, let’s look at some questions to get a conversation
started in a more casual social setting. Say you are at a
party with a friend who introduces you to someone new,
then is called away. Again, if you don’t know what to talk to
them about, start by considering your setting--in this case,
the party you both are attending. Try these icebreakers:
 
 ● “How long have you known the host? How did you
meet?”
● “What do you like to do for fun?”
● “Have you lived in this area long? Where are you
from?”
 
Keep in mind that most people enjoy talking about
themselves. Opening a conversation with questions along
these lines gives others an avenue to do this while making
you seem interested and focused on them, which will go a
long way towards building rapport with them.
 
Tip 2: Politeness Always Wins
 
Another important aspect of the vital first meeting is good
manners. Unnecessarily personal questions or comments,
neglecting to give common courtesies such as “please” and
“thank you,” poor etiquette--all these can make a potential
acquaintance want to disconnect from the conversation.
Remember that if you find a particular behavior repulsive or
unattractive, chances are so does everyone else.
 
Let’s look at this in a professional setting--in this case, a job
interview. Interviews are formal and structured situations,
but manners and etiquette are as vital here as in any other
situation. Even if your qualifications are stellar, there are
some things that will turn off potential employers, such as:
 
● Not returning a greeting. For example, when your
interviewer says “Hello, how are you?” just saying
“Fine.” is unacceptable. A better answer would be “I’m
well, thank you, and yourself?”
● Neglecting to say “please” and “thank you.” For
example, if you are offered a refreshment, don’t just say
“yes” or “no” without following up with the appropriate
courtesy.
● Disrespectful or inappropriate body language and
actions--fidgeting with your phone or keys, looking away
from them, placing your belongings (or, worse, feet) on
their desk.
 
What about informal situations, such as parties? Although
you can be more relaxed and open, especially as you are
open to a wider range of topics to talk about, politeness is
still crucial. Remember, politeness doesn’t just make you
look good; it makes the person you are speaking with more
at-ease and willing to engage with you. Here are some things
to avoid:
 
● Poor general etiquette. Talking with your mouth full,
interrupting or talking over others, ignoring people who
are speaking to you--all these are turn-offs and likely to
cause people to leave you talking to yourself.
● Inappropriately personal questions and comments.
This generally includes questions regarding someone’s
age, relationship status, sexual orientation, and religion,
among other things. If you wouldn’t want a stranger
asking you a particular question, don’t ask it of anyone
else.
● Again, disinterested body language speaks volumes.
 
Politeness is simply being thoughtful and respectful of
others, which is not a difficult skill to learn. A lack of manners
signifies a lack of consideration for the wants and needs of
others, and makes you seem unpleasant and selfish. Put
yourself in the other person’s position: would you want to
talk to someone who interrupts you, talks over you, and
generally acts boorish? Again, bear in mind that good
manners make the person you are speaking with feel more
relaxed and be more willing to converse with you. A misstep
is easy to fix; for example, if you ask a question that turns
out to be too personal, simply say “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to
offend,” and move on. Lingering on the mistake only serves
to make the other person even more uncomfortable, so just
apologize and change the topic.
 
Politeness is also welcome in simple everyday interactions.
Wish your cashier at the grocery store a nice day--they’ll feel
appreciated in what can often be a thankless job. Hold the
door for people entering a building behind you. Say “excuse
me” when you bump into someone. Don’t forget to smile.
You never know if or when you will meet the people you pass
on the street again in the future, so it hurts nothing to be
polite.
 
Tip 3: Take the Initiative!
 
The old saying goes “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”
While this is true, the first impression--the opinion one forms
of another within their first five seconds of meeting--can be
extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change, and sets the
tone for the relationship that follows. Your appearance, voice,
words, and body language all factor into the first impression.
You may not be able to alter your appearance and voice, but
you can make sure your words and body language make a
good impression.
 
So, how do you make a good first impression? The first step
is to take the initiative. Don’t wait for someone to approach
and speak to you--go up and say “hello.” At work and notice
a new employee? Walk up to them and introduce yourself.
Something as simple as “Hi, I’m Ann. What’s your name?”
can do wonders for making a new employee feel at home in
an unfamiliar environment, and let them know there is
someone they can turn to if they have any questions about
the job or workplace.
 
This applies in social settings as well. See a person at a party
standing alone? Walk up and introduce yourself, then ask an
ice breaker question. It may be that this person is bored, or
they too may have difficulty meeting new people. It can be
easy to let shyness and social awkwardness get the better of
you and leave you second guessing yourself. Just think--if
you greet someone you don’t know, what is the worst thing
that can happen? Chances are extremely slim that they will
laugh at you, say something cruel, or ignore you. Chances
are high, however, that they will return your greeting and
engage in a conversation with you, which is your goal. Even
if they don’t want to talk, you will seem friendly and
interesting to them, which will make them more likely to
seek you out later on.
 
Here are a few more tips on taking the initiative:
 
● People like confidence. Stand up straight, make
eye contact, give a firm handshake. Even if you are shy
or insecure, if you make yourself look confident you will
start to feel more confident, making breaking the ice
even easier.
● Remember your icebreaker questions. Think of a
list of questions to ask new acquaintances, and pick one
as a jumping-off point. Don’t just stick to the ones listed
earlier in this chapter--get creative and come up with
your own, or search the internet if you are unsure what
questions are ok to ask.
● If you make eye contact with someone from a
distance, smile. This mitigates any awkwardness and
signals that you are open to conversation.
 
Remember, shyness is a liability, but not an insurmountable
one. You can learn to be confident, just as you can learn any
other skill. Remember that you are important, you are
valuable, and you have something to say. Practice speaking
with family members, pets or in front of a mirror if talking
off-the-cuff is difficult for you (it’s not silly if it helps build
your confidence). Ignore your inner voice that plants
negativity and anxiety in you mind Your goal is to make
friends and connections, and have fun doing so.
 
Chapter 2: Mastering Non-Verbal
Communication
 
Imagine you are talking to a coworker in your company break
room. While she is carrying on a conversation with you, she
is also toying with her phone and not making eye contact.
Would you imagine she is interested in your conversation, or
simply killing time until it’s time to go back to work?
 
Any time you speak, about half of your message is carried
through your words. The other half is carried through
nonverbal cues: your tone of voice, facial expressions,
posture and gestures. No matter what you are saying, if your
nonverbal cues don’t match your message, you won’t be
believed. Take the example above; the distracted coworker
might be fully engaged in her conversation with you, but her
body language says she is bored and disinterested. Likewise,
even if you know that you are giving someone your complete
attention, if you look at your shoes, turn your body away
from them, or fidget with your keys or phone, the other
person has no reason to believe you are focused on them. No
one wants to talk to someone who doesn't want to be
engaged.
 
So, can you make your body language match your message?
Can you control your facial expression and gestures? Can
you make the person you are talking to feel like you are
interested and focused on them? The answer is yes to all of
the above--you can make your body language match your
verbal language easily. But, would it feel forced? Can others
sense when you are trying too hard to make eye contact and
smile? The answer is no--if you know how to use body
language to your advantage.
 
Tip 1: Know How to Make Eye Contact
 
Think of how many common sayings and idioms contain the
word “eyes.” Someone untrustworthy can be described as
“shifty eyed.” A romantic interest might give you “bedroom
eyes.” You might describe someone you care for as the
“apple of your eye.” We are told to keep our “eyes on the
prize” in competitions. Most everyone has heard the saying
“the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
 
People make eye contact as a means to gain feedback. We
often subconsciously check for eye contact when we ask a
question and during conversation pauses. Eye contact is also
used as a means of synchronization; we glance into each
other's eyes’ at grammatical stops and at the ends of
statements to “pass the baton,” so to speak, and invite the
other to contribute. Eye contact represents, interest,
honesty, integrity--in short, making eye contact is vital to
communicating with the world.
 
The psychology behind eye contact can be daunting, but
with a little practice, making appropriate eye contact with
another is as natural as looking through a window. In fact, in
a sense you are looking through a window--a window into
another person’s thoughts and feelings. Simply keep these
tips in mind:
 
● Initiate eye contact. Don’t be afraid to look
someone in the eye, even if they don’t seem to respond.
It may be that the person you are talking to is as wary
of eye contact as you are. So, if you attempt to make
eye contact and they don’t reciprocate, don’t take this
as a sign that they are disinterested. Simply try again in
a few moments.
● But don’t stare. If you attempt eye contact twice,
and the other person doesn’t respond, give up. Again,
 this may simply be because they themselves have
trouble with eye contact and should not be
automatically taken to mean they don’t want to talk to
you. This is especially relevant when speaking with
someone of another nationality, as different cultures
have different rules regarding eye contact.
● Know when to look away. While eye contact is
important, it is also important to not keep a laser-
intense gaze on your subject. Too much eye contact can
seem impersonal and, well, creepy. Look away every few
seconds, to another part of the person’s face or
elsewhere on their person, then re-initiate eye contact
after a couple of seconds.
● Use other forms of nonverbal communication in
conjunction with eye contact. Lean back when
making eye contact with someone you don’t yet know
well, this will show that you respect their personal
space. Likewise, if they are talking about something
personal or important to them, lean in slightly. This will
show that you are focused on listening to them.
● Don’t focus too hard on eye contact. Don’t forget
to look at a mutual topic of interest during a
conversation, or watch where you are going while
walking. It is natural to look away from the person you
are speaking to every few moments.
 
Seem like a lot to remember? Practice your eye contact skills
with the following method: while talking to someone, look at
one eye for three seconds, then the other eye for three
seconds, then their mouth for three seconds. Every few
moments look away from their face for three seconds.
Estimate the time, don’t tick the seconds off in your head.
This will help you develop the natural rhythm for eye
contact.
 
It may also help you to raise your eyebrows slightly when
making eye contact with someone. This helps you keep a
neutral, yet interested, facial expression. Some people feel
their eyebrows drift down during conversations, giving the
impression that they are frowning or glowering. If you catch
yourself doing this, simply take a breath, raise your
eyebrows or widen your eyes a bit (but not into a “shocked”
expression), and resume your eye contact pattern.
 
Tip 2: Make Others Feel Special - With Your
Genuine Smile
 
While eye contact and other aspects of nonverbal
communication can vary between cultures, a smile is
universal. It signifies goodwill, friendliness and acceptance
across the globe. It is also automatic; you don’t control your
smile when you hear or see something pleasing, it simply
happens. You can, of course, smile whenever you like. But, if
not done correctly, a forced smile looks just that way--forced.
 
Think of a group photo where some people are smiling
naturally, and others are forcing a smile. You can pick out the
forced smiles every time--they look strained rather than
happy and relaxed. Some people counteract this by making
goofy faces, which is not advised, and some people simply
don’t smile if they feel they have to force it. Either way, you
can tell who is having a good time and who is just going
through the motions.
 
Your smile doesn’t have to look forced. Have you ever been
in a retail environment and noticed the cashier smiling at his
customers? His smile looks natural and comes easily
because he has practiced it over hundreds, if not thousands,
of customer interactions. You don’t need to talk to hundreds,
thousands, or even dozens of people to gain the same
natural, genuine smile, however. Just keep these tips in
mind.
 
● Your smile is not limited to your mouth. When
you smile naturally, your entire face lights up: your
cheeks lift, your eyes sparkle, your nose crinkles slightly.
If you just move your mouth into the position of a smile,
without the rest of your face following suit, your smile
will be fake and unnatural.
 Practice this in a mirror: find something that you enjoy
(a funny YouTube video, or remembering a favorite joke)
and let it make you smile. Notice how your entire face is
invested in the smile. Then, clear your mind, and force a
smile. See the difference?
● You can smile with just your eyes. Manipulating
your eyes to look how they do when you're smiling can
bring a smile to your face without moving your mouth.
While smiling in a mirror, cover the lower half of your
face and focus on your eyes. Then, while not smiling,
practice manipulating your eyes to achieve the same
effect.
● Practice makes perfect. Exercise your smiling
muscles in the mirror: smile and hold it for ten seconds,
then widen your smile and hold for another ten seconds.
Repeat this exercise daily. The muscles in your face can
be strengthened and toned the same as any other
muscles, making your smile come more naturally.
● Learn not only how, but when to smile.
Obviously, no one smiles continuously. A natural smile
lasts about as long as natural eye contact--about three
to five seconds. Also, some people are nervous
laughers; they smile and laugh in tense or awkward
situations as a way to mitigate some of their discomfort.
This can be seen as inappropriate, though, so if you find
yourself smiling when no one else is, give yourself a
neutral expression. Try to smile when the person you are
speaking with smiles, but don’t match them smile for
smile--they will likely notice.
 
Tip 3: Become an Expert of Body Language
 
Eye contact and smiling are only two pieces of the body
language puzzle. There are myriad other ways people
communicate ideas, emotions, and their state of mind
nonverbally. Let’s start with the face. Suppose you are
talking to a neighbor and she names a person or place you
are not familiar with. Likely, your brow will furrow slightly, or
your head may tilt a bit to the side. Your neighbor may see
this and know that you didn’t quite get what she said, giving
her an opportunity to clarify her statement. If she doesn’t
you may spend the rest of the conversation wondering about
“Linda from Harlingen.” Here, you can see how important
reading nonverbal cues is. Were your roles reversed, you
wouldn’t want your neighbor wondering who and what you
are talking about.
 
Let’s consider a more formal setting, such as the workplace.
If you meeting with a supervisor for a performance
evaluation, you may give off defensive body language:
keeping your hands and gestures close to your body, sitting
cross-legged, minimizing facial expressions, avoiding eye
contact. Your supervisor may wonder why you have the need
to feel defensive--are you concerned about your own poor
work performance? Are you hiding something from him? If
your roles were reversed, how would you feel about someone
else's defensive body language?
 
Learning to read and interpret body language is a critical
skill, yet not a difficult one to develop. Generally, if a person
positions their body toward you and their arms are at their
sides, they are open and receptive. Likewise, if they turn
away from you, fold their arms across their chest, and cross
their legs, they are “closed off”--creating a barrier between
you and themselves to signify they are not open to talking.
Body language cues generally tend to fall into a spectrum
between comfortable and uncomfortable. Comfortable body
language includes eye contact, wide gestures, straight
posture, smiles and easy speech. Uncomfortable body
language includes crossed legs and arms, slouching posture,
avoiding eye contact and quiet or unnatural speech.
Obviously, if you see comfortable body language you can
feel good about the conversation. But if you see
uncomfortable body language, your next step should be to
figure out the source of their discomfort. Here are some
other common gestures and how to interpret them:
 
● Finger stroking chin, face slightly tilted, gaze
shifting to an unspecified point while listening
and making eye contact while speaking. The
subject here is likely reflective: thinking about what’s
being said to them before responding. This is common
behavior in interviews. Ask pointed questions and give
the other party the opportunity to respond fully; this will
let them know you are interested and invested in their
response.
● Avoiding eye contact, changing vocal pitch,
perspiring, breathing slightly harder than usual.
The subject here may be lying. Ask probing follow up
questions after they speak, then gauge their reaction to
determine if you should believe them.
● Paleness, speech errors, vocal tremors,
fidgeting, blushing. Here the subject may be nervous
or anxious. Ask questions to determine the source of
their anxiety, or change the subject if your topic of
conversation about seems to be the source of their
nervousness.
 
This is far from an exhaustive list of body language cues, and
body language varies between cultures and individuals.
Someone who shows a few of the visual cues of dishonesty is
not necessarily dishonest, they may simply be nervous. Just
like with eye contact and smiling, practice is key. Watch
others when they speak, and compare their words to their
actions. Pay attention to your own actions when you speak.
In a little time, you will gain an understanding of nonverbal
communication that will allow you to read, and even control,
everyday situations.
 
Chapter 3: Become A Genius of
Small Talk
 
Now that you’ve exchanged names and greetings, what
comes next? If you are talking to someone to achieve a goal,
ask something from them, or learn something, you could be
direct and tell them what you want. While this is often fine,
some people find the direct approach off-putting. Also, if you
are at a party or event and just want to meet people or make
contacts, you need to engage in the art of small talk.
 
Small talk is just what it sounds like--a conversation about
unimportant matters or current events. Some topics may
include the weather, current events, sports, or work. There
are some people who dislike and avoid small talk, but you
can use it as a tool to learn about and gain rapport with
others, and to let others get to know you. There is an art to
it, however. You should be careful of talking for too long or
dominating the conversation, or you may come off as self-
absorbed and inconsiderate. Also, your topic of discussion
should be appropriate for the setting and for who you are
talking to. Always know what topics are open to discussion
and which topics to stay away from. How? Just follow these
tips.
 
Tip 1: F.O.R.D.S - Family, Occupation,
Recreation, Dreams, Sports
 
People like talking about themselves. This creates
opportunities to learn about the likes and dislikes of others,
and also let others learn about yourself. The following topics
are almost always appropriate and serve as a good starting
point when making small talk with someone.
 
● Family. Ask general questions regarding your
conversation partner’s family and background, without
digging or prying. Questions like “Do you have any
siblings? Children? Does your family live in this area?”
are all good questions to ask.
● Occupation. “What do you do for a living” is a
perfectly fine, if a bit boring, conversation starter. Some
other questions to consider are “If you weren’t in your
current career, what would you be doing? What do you
love most about your job? What would you like to be
doing in five years?”
● Recreation. Ask what the other person likes to do for
fun, then follow up with questions about their hobbies.
“What books have you read recently that you would
recommend? How long did it take you to learn how to
line dance? Is sailing hard to learn?” The key is to show
that you are paying attention and interested in what
they have to say.
● Dreams. Asking about the other person’s dreams
and goals gains you valuable information about their
motives. Ask things like “If you could live anywhere in
the world, where would you live? What is something you
have always wanted to do? When you were a kid, what
did you want to be when you grew up?”
● Sports. “How do you think your team will do this
year? What is their coach’s style?” Sports fans love
 talking about their favorite teams. Use this opportunity
to learn more about their teams and the sports they
play if you don’t follow sports closely. Don’t be afraid to
ask questions. If you don’t know much about football, a
football fan would likely love to explain the game to you.
 
Keep in mind that there are two topics--politics and religion--
you should avoid until you know a person better. These
topics not only tend to be divisive and raise tempers, but
people often feel the need to take “sides” and defend their
“team’s” position, at the expense of maintaining a civil
conversation. So, wait until you are closer to a person before
discussing these topics. In the workplace it is best to avoid
discussing politics and religion altogether.
 
Tip 2: Stay Up to Date on Current Topics
 
Aside from the topics listed above, you can also talk about
current national or local events. Even if you don’t watch the
news much, no one lives in a bubble, and you are expected
to know at least a little about goings-on in the world. If you
are out of touch with the world around you, you’ll be seen as
naive or, worse, boring. Keep up to date on goings-on in you
area and you will always have a go-to topic if the
conversation starts to drag.
 
● Browse current event blogs and websites.
Remember to avoid politics and religion and keep the
topic positive. Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, Google
Trends, and Twitter are all good places to start. Find a
blog or source that fits your style and interests, and
refer to it once or twice a week to keep up to date.
● Think of a few topics to talk about if the
conversations stalls. Keep in mind a few questions to
ask when the dreaded awkward silence hits, things like
“How is your family doing? Seen any good movies
lately? How are things going at work?”
● Don’t panic if the conversation does begin to
lag. Don’t feel the need to fill every silence--a pause
could mean the other person is thinking or shifting to a
new topic. Conversations have a rhythm to them, and
automatically filling every pause with words can make
the conversation tiring.
● Talk about the other person’s current events,
too. “Are you working on any home improvement
projects? What are your plans for the weekend? Is there
anything going on at your job that has you excited?”
Show a genuine interest in the other person, and they
will respond in kind.
.
Tip 3: Ask Fun Questions - Think Outside
the Box!
 
One reason some people don’t like small talk is that it can
get stale. Image “working the room,” so to speak, at a party.
Everyone asks the same questions over and over again, and
everyone give the same answers over and over again. There
are many people who feel no real meaningful information
can be gained in such a way, and with good reason: you
can’t learn anything new if all you ask are the same set of
questions.
Small talk doesn’t have to be boring. The same subjects get
old after a while, so don’t be afraid to try something new.
Especially at a work function or party, people tend to get
tired of answering the same questions over and over again,
and start to feel like their reading from a script. You will feel
like you’re reciting something you memorized, as well. If you
ask everyone the same things, your tone and body language
will start to reflect this, and no one likes talking to a robot.
Just remember to keep your topics appropriate to the setting
and to whom you’re speaking. Here are some questions that
will spice up any conversation:
 
● What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? Did you
like it?
● Have you ever thought of a really cool invention, only
to discover someone had already invented it?
● Would you prefer to visit Earth in 2100 or travel back
to 1900?
● If aliens invaded Earth tomorrow, what would you
want them to learn about humanity?
● If you had magical powers, what is something that
you’d like to change?
● Would you rather live without your favorite food or
your favorite hobby? Why?
 
A few final words on small talk: We’ve gone over a lot of
questions, but a casual conversation is not an interview. You
want to learn more about the person you’re talking to, but
don’t forget to let them learn about you as well. Find a
balance between asking the other person questions, and
answering questions they ask you.
 
Chapter 4: Get Them Talking About
Themselves
 
Once the small talk is over, it’s time to get your neighbor,
coworker or acquaintance talking about themselves. As
we’ve seen, people like to talk about themselves, and you
can learn a lot about them from not only what they say, but
what they don’t say. You want to develop a natural rhythm,
however, and not rapid-fire a hundred questions at them;
after all, this is a conversation, not an interrogation.
 
Let’s see this in action. At a party, you meet and start talking
to someone. You engage in small talk, learn some of her
interests and what she does for a living, and start to ask her
questions about her hobbies and job. After a few rounds of
questioning, she starts getting bored and anxious, and starts
to look for a way out of the conversation. Just as you can talk
too much about yourself, you can ask too many questions
about another and be just as unpleasant to talk to. The key is
to follow these steps to make your conversations interesting
and dynamic, while also learning about others.
 
Tip 1: Genuine Curiosity Can Be Disarming!
 
Everyone enters a conversation with a set expectation of the
information they plan to give out, especially when
networking. These set expectations often degrade into
boredom. As we saw in Chapter 3, people get tired of
answering the same questions over and over again, and
asking a series of questions can make you seem like you are
going through the motions of the conversation, not like you
actually care about their answers.
 
Say you are at work discussing your position with a coworker.
You likely will talk a lot about your role in the company, and
theirs as well. Questions like “How did you get to be in your
current role? What did you do to get there? What is the next
role you see yourself in?” all show not only interest in you
coworker, but in your own career path as well. Here are
some more ideas that can help you seem interested, but not
nosey.
 
● Interspace you questions with comments. If
someone tells you their career, whether they are an
aerospace engineer or barista, say something along the
lines of “Sounds like you stay busy,” “That seems like
hard work,” etc. This opens a door for the other person
to tell you how they feel about their job.
● Ask a question, without asking. If someone
mentions something you aren’t familiar with, for
example, that they recently traveled to Kathmandu, say
“Now, Kathmandu is…” and let them fill in the blank.
They know you were paying attention and are
interested, and you learn something new.
● Remember names, places, topics. For example, if
they mention their niece Tisha, remember the name and
relation. If they mention her later in the conversation,
 you can show you are paying attention by saying “Tisha
is your niece, right?” Even if you get a detail wrong,
they still know you were paying attention.
● Give them time to answer. When asking a
question, don’t respond right away after they answer if
their answer is short. For example, if you ask your
neighbor where they are from and they simply answer
“Iowa,” stay silent for a couple of seconds. The neighbor
will want to fill the silence and elaborate on his answer.
If after two seconds he says nothing, simply move on
with the conversation.
 
Showing that you are genuinely interested in what they have
to say causes people to drop their initial guard and makes
them open up more to you. They like you more, and you
make a new friend.
 
Tip 2: Asking the Right Questions
 
Effective questions help you connect with a person in a more
meaningful way. They also help you understand their
motives, wants, and needs, and can even help persuade
people. What questions are the “right” questions to ask? Try
not to ask “why,” but “how” and “what.” “Why” questions
lead to “because” answers, which do not tend to shed new
light on an issue.
 
With new acquaintances, you don’t want to come off as
probing or nosey, but you can get the information you want
if you approach it right. When sharing information, the other
party will be more forthcoming if they think it’s their idea to
share it. If your coworker is talking about a problem he is
having with a client, he is likely focusing on the problem
itself rather than the root of the problem. Asking a question
like “Why is that?” will lead to an answer like “Because their
demands are unreasonable/I don’t have enough time to do
what they want/The client is a jerk,” none of which serve to
improve the issue. However, a question like “How do you
think the problem started?” will make him think more
critically about the cause of the problem, and will make him
share information he might not otherwise have shared.
 
If a new friend is talking about why not being able to go back
to school to complete her degree, asking something like
“Why not?” will lead to an answer like “I don’t have the
money/I can’t find anyone to watch my kids/It’s just too
hard.” Again, “because” answers focus on the problem
instead of the solution. “What seems to be your biggest
obstacle?” may make her open up about things going on in
her life, while at the same time signifying her desire is not
impossible. You seem more intuitive and considerate for
asking, and gain valuable insight into her wants and needs.
 
Both of these questions address not the problem, but how
the other party sees the problem. But asking the right
questions is only half of how you gain information; you must
also be a good listener. Asking the right questions gains you
nothing if you don’t listen to the answers. After the above
coworker discusses his client problem, summarize the issue
into your own words. If you are missing something, he will fill
it in. Ask a question like “How do you want the situation to
turn out?” Listen to his answer, and you may help him solve
his problem, making you look like a valuable asset to the
workplace in the process.
 
You can also use your question-asking and listening skills to
help influence others. After your friend discusses what’s
stopping her from going back to school, ask “What are your
next steps?” Perhaps she focused so much on what she
couldn’t do, she didn’t think about what she can do. Listen to
her answer, and summarize to show you are trying to
understand. Offer an encouragement, such as “I think you
will do great.” You may have made her mind up for her.
While, in this scenario, you may not have a vested interest in
your friend completing her degree, you can see how asking
the right questions can get others to see your way of
thinking and allow you to “plant” ideas they may not have
had otherwise.
 
Tip 3: Find Their Hot Buttons
 
As stated before, religion and politics are “hot-button”
issues, topics which are to many people deeply personal and
important, and tend to raise tempers. But everyone has a
subject besides these two which they are passionate about.
Finding these hot buttons helps you gain valuable insight
into the thoughts, desires, and motives of others: all
information you can use to your advantage.
 
Often you can stumble across a person’s hot buttons by
accident. Mention that you are a fan of a particular athlete,
and your neighbor might get riled and start talking about
said athlete’s history of animal abuse. This lets you know
that your neighbor is an animal lover, for sure, but also lets
you know how passionate they are about their cause.
 
Sometimes a person’s hot buttons can be not simply a topic
or issue, but something within themselves. During a difficult
work conversation (say, if a project failed), you may find a
coworker being obnoxious and browbeating others. He may
be letting his ego get the better of him, or he may be using
his obnoxious behavior to cover his own insecurity. Either
way, you now know more about how he thinks, and respond
accordingly.
 
So how do you find out others’ hot buttons, and how do you
use them to your advantage? Hot buttons tend to be linked
to a person’s desires: the neighbor wants to see that no
animal ever comes to harm, and the coworker wants to be
seen as more powerful than he actually is. Here’s how you
can find out what others are passionate about:
 
● Let them talk. Often you can get a feel for a
person’s buttons by simply listening to what they talk
about. Someone who spends a lot of time talking about
 their job is very passionate about it; if they didn’t like
their job they wouldn’t spend much time on the topic. If
they seem to hate their job and still talk about it, then
their hot button isn’t so much their job as how they feel
they are treated there.
● Ask. Obviously you wouldn’t say “What is your hot
button?” Frame the question in a way that shows you
want to get to know them. “What is something you are
passionate about? What is a cause you firmly believe
in?”
● Look for visual clues. A woman wearing cat
earrings is very likely an animal lover. Sports fans wear
gear representing their favorite teams. Buttons, bumper
stickers, musical instruments--all these provide clues
into a person’s passions.
 
You want to also be aware of your own hot buttons. It’s easy
to be caught off-guard when someone says something to
trigger you, and defensiveness and arguments can arise
when you feel someone is getting the better of you.
Understanding your own hot buttons can help you regulate
your emotions and respond appropriately when someone
pushes them.
 
Chapter 5: Finding Commonalities
 
In a world of over seven billion people, it’s easy to get lost,
to feel like everyone else you meet is a stranger with whom
you have nothing in common. But the world is a lot smaller
than you might think. Everyone on Earth has something they
love, something they hate, something they’ve lost,
something they hope to gain. We are all much closer than
you might think.
 
In a conversation, especially with someone to whom you
don’t find much to say, it’s important to find commonalities--
shared interests and experiences. Commonalities help us
break down barriers and learn more about each other. Say
you are at work meeting a new supervisor for the first time.
She went to a different school than you did, grew up in a
different area, has different hobbies and interests. In short,
you are simply two different people. Just when you think
about giving up on the conversation, she mentions that her
last job was at a company you use to work for. This opens up
a new area of conversation, and gives you both a chance to
see how you are alike, not how you are different.
 
Why is this important? Well, in the above scenario, it never
hurts to have a good working relationship with a supervisor.
If you both see each other as “different people,” likely you
won’t be able to communicate as effectively with each other.
If you can’t communicate effectively with your work higher-
ups, you aren’t doing your career any favors. But why would
this be important in any other situation--say, with a coworker
or other acquaintance? Why should you care about being
able to find commonalities with anyone?
 
There are benefits to being able to establish an even playing
field with anyone for a few reasons. First, it helps to put
people at ease. Imagine you are meeting with a prospective
client and find that he tends to act obnoxiously. He makes
unreasonable demands and refuses to cooperate when you
don’t give in to them. Very likely he feels you are in a
position of power over him, and he feels the need to prove
that he won’t allow himself to be taken advantage of. Taking
a few moments to find your commonalities shows him that
you are here to work with him, not against him.
 
Second, it can help to stave off arguments. In an argument,
people are focusing on what is different about them, not
what is the same. By finding your commonalities you can
show the other person that you are not two members of
opposing teams with the goal of “winning” over each other,
but simply two people whose ideas on some subjects differ.
 
Tip 1: Find Common Ground
 
Finding common ground with someone is not the same as
coming to an absolute agreement, but rather finding a goal
or idea that you both agree on and, and using that as a
means to come to an agreement. Remember that “winning”
the conversation is not the goal. Your goal is to bring others
to your way of thinking, or at least understand theirs.
 
● Start by identifying a common goal. What do the
both of you want to accomplish? In the new client
scenario above, you want to establish a contract or deal
that will benefit you, and the client wants a deal that
will benefit himself. Start by asking their goal. “What do
you want to accomplish here today?” When he explains
what he wants, say “I, too, want to establish a beneficial
agreement. How can we work together and make that
happen?”
● Even if you can’t find a common goal, find
beliefs and ideas you might have in common. If
you get pulled into a political discussion with a neighbor
with whom you have very differing beliefs, you may feel
like she is on another “team” with the goal of defeating
you. Establish that while you both may support different
candidates, political parties, and ideologies, you both
have a common belief in free speech, voting and the
democratic process. Focus on what you have in
common, and agree to disagree on the rest. Work within
one another's existing mindframe, without trying to
impose your opinions on them.
● Keep in mind that in any discussion, there is a
lot that is being left unsaid--by both you and the
other party. Think of an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg
is the argument or point that you or the other person
are making. Below the water, however, where the bulk
 of the iceberg lies, are the beliefs, issues, wants and
fears that support that point. Ask questions to gain
some insight on the bulk of the iceberg. Try to
understand the position of the other person, and see
how it compares with your own.
 
Tip 2: Pacing & Rapport - Matching Frame
 
As mentioned before, conversations have a natural rhythm
to them. Just as every song on the radio has a different
rhythm, so does every person you speak with. Some people
talk fast and jump from topic to topic quickly, some people
are slower and more thoughtful in their speech. You, too,
have a natural conversation rhythm. This rhythm is called
the pace of the conversation.
 
You will notice if you watch two people having a discussion
that often they will adjust their pace to fit better with the
other’s. If one person talks fast and the other person talks
slow, the conversation becomes tiring and frustrating, with
one person talking miles ahead of the other. But pacing
doesn’t only concern the rhythm of the conversation, but
body language as well. Here are a few tips on pacing your
conversation.
 
● Match speaking tempo. As stated above, if a fast
talker is talking to a slow talker, the conversation
becomes frustrating. If you know you talk fast, slow
down a bit. If you know you talk slow, try to eliminate
pauses and nonword utterances (“um,” “uh,” and so on)
to speed your speech up.
● Match the other person’s body language. If your
neighbor tilts her head and leans slightly to the side
while speaking, try tilting your head and leaning. Look
at something when they look at it. Nod when they nod.
This makes people like you a bit more on a subconscious
level.
● Match their intensity--then lead them to match
yours. Anyone who has ever spent time working in
customer service knows that one of the worst ways to
deal with someone who is angrily yelling is to softly tell
 them to calm down. When encountering someone
whose temper is getting the better of them, raise your
voice slightly (without shouting), then gradually lower
your voice to your normal speaking tone. They will
subconsciously want to follow suit, giving you more
control of the conversation.
 
Tip 3: Creating Common Experiences
 
One thing you and whomever else you are speaking with will
always have in common in your setting. No matter how
different you and your coworkers seem to be, you have in
common the fact that you all work in the same place and are
trying to achieve the same goals there. You and your
neighbor live in the same area. At a party, everyone is
connected to the host in some way. Everyone is at the same
conference or convention for the same reasons.
 
Creating a common experience is a way to enhance bonds,
and is easier than you might think. Use your setting to your
advantage. At a convention, when you find a shared interest
with a new acquaintance, invite them to go with you to hear
a speaker or see an exhibit related to it. Find someone who
shares your love of karaoke? Invite them to sing with you. At
work, offer to help them with a project, or ask for their help.
Later on, you can use your shared experience to enhance
your relationship and strengthen your bond with them.
 
If you are willing to look, you can find commonalities with
everyone you meet. Sometimes people are simply too
different to get along, and that’s perfectly fine. What is
important is to be able to communicate effectively with
them. Even if you know you will never be friends with them,
if you can find enough common ground to focus on your
similarities and not your differences, you will build enough
rapport with them to achieve your goals.
 
 
Chapter 6: Give Genuine
Compliments
 
Suppose you are talking to a coworker who recently and
successfully completed a work project. You congratulate him
by saying something along the lines of “Great job on the
Johnson project.” Your coworker mumbles a thank you, and
goes on about his business. This probably wasn’t the
response you were expecting. Later on, while getting a drink
with some coworkers, you compliment a particularly
attractive coworker with “You really are very pretty.” She
tenses and looks nervous, then excuses herself from the
conversation. What went wrong?
 
We’ve seen how people enjoy talking about themselves, and
we’ve learned a few ways to ask questions to give them the
opportunity to do so. But what happens when a lull in the
conversation stalls any attempt to keep them talking? What
if your compliment is met with indifference? What if you
sense nervousness in them? How do you counteract their
anxiety?
 
Everyone likes to receive a genuine compliment. But, if given
the wrong way, a compliment can serve to make a person
feel indifferent, uncomfortable, or even embarrassed. How
do you avoid this? Keep these tips in mind.
 
Tip 1: Avoid Flattery - How to Be Sincere
 
Your compliments won’t be believed or accepted if they
aren’t seen to be sincere. A genuine compliment comes from
the heart and is intended to make the recipient feel good
about themselves, not simply serve as a means to continue a
conversation. You want people to open up to you, not to talk
for the sake of talking.
 
Something else to avoid is complimenting someone with the
hopes of receiving a compliment in return. If you don’t
genuinely admire something about someone, it’s best keep a
compliment to yourself rather than have that person think
you are insincere. Flattery and brown-nosing are not
admirable traits in anyone and will only serve to make other
people think you are self-serving.
 
● Be specific. In the first example above, the project
coworker got a compliment he had likely heard a
hundred times over. When congratulating or
complimenting someone, say what in particular about
them or their actions you like. A better compliment
would have been “I like how you handled the client’s
concerns,” or “You did a great job addressing the budget
issue.”
● Be appropriate. In the second example, the
attractive coworker found the direct compliment about
her looks creepy and unnerving. Comments about
another person’s appearance can very often be
construed as an attempt to be romantic, which will
cause problems if you don’t mean your remark to be
taken as such. Even if you are romantically interested in
someone, there are better ways to express this. Until
you know a person better, avoid complimenting their
physical traits, or at least keep your compliments
 specific and brief. “You have a great smile” would work
better in this scenario. Remember that even if what you
are saying is positive, it is still a judgement, and no one
likes being judged.
● Know when to let it go. Do not expect your
compliments to be accepted every time, or expect them
to be returned. If a compliment falls flat, simply move
on with the conversation; trying to “fix” the situation
will only make it more awkward. If you receive a
compliment, accept it graciously with a “Thank you, you
are kind to say so” and move on, but don’t match their
compliment with one of your own. Remember--you want
to be sincere.
● Don’t exaggerate. You may think that a
hyperbolized compliment seems more sincere, but it
doesn’t. Instead of something like “That’s the most
beautiful cake I’ve ever seen,” try “The cake you
decorated looks really beautiful, I can tell you worked
hard on it.”
 
Tip 2: Find Out What They Like About
Themselves
 
People are mirrors. Anything you like or do not like about
someone reflects something you like or do not like about
yourself. One reason compliments fall flat is that they can
touch on people’s insecurities. If someone tells you you have
a great figure, and you’ve struggled with your weight your
entire life, you may be more self-conscious rather than less.
You may not know what another person’s insecurities are,
but those aren’t important; make an effort to find out what
their favorite attributes are and focus on those.
 
Finding out what a person likes about themselves is as
simple as listening to them. While talking to someone, if they
spend a while talking about something important to them,
you can often learn something about them you can use in a
compliment: their work ethic, generosity, intelligence, and so
on. For example, if your neighbor is talking about training for
a marathon, they probably like being physically fit. A good
compliment would be “You really take great care of yourself,
I admire your dedication to being healthy.”
 
If you still can’t glean a person’s strengths by listening,
there’s nothing wrong with asking, if you approach it the
right way. Simply asking someone “What is your favorite
thing about yourself?” may meet with self-consciousness,
especially if they are shy and insecure by nature. A less
direct question, like “What is your favorite attribute in
people?” gives them the option to say what things they like
in other people that they may share, even if they don’t
realize it. When they answer, compliment them on that
attribute if they share it. For example, if they say kindness is
their favorite attribute, you can say (as long as you mean it,
of course), “I can see that, you are a very nice person
yourself.” Another way to phrase this would be “What is
something you have always admired in other people?”
 
Tip 3: Your Goal is to Eliminate Their Self -
Doubt
 
Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses. But all too
often we focus on negativity and bad experiences. How do
we find the strengths in others? It’s hard to find something to
compliment when all you focus on is negativity; dismiss your
negative thoughts when you’re getting to know someone. It
may be that you find you really don’t like a person after
spending time talking to them, and that’s ok. Otherwise, if
you do enjoy someone’s company, you obviously already see
their positive aspects. You just need to put them to work.
 
Pay attention to what makes them smile. The more you get
to know a person, the more you will see their passions and
motives come out in day-to-day moments. Remember to use
these moments to pay genuine compliments when
appropriate, especially if you can see they are feeling
insecure or are having a tough day. A person who laughs a
lot would appreciate a compliment along the lines of “You
have an amazing sense of humor.” An animal lover would
like to hear “You are a warm, caring person.” Remember, you
are focusing on the person’s strengths and positive
attributes. Sometimes you just have to remind them that
they’re there.
 
Let’s see this in action. Suppose you are talking to your
neighbor and she mentions she’s been working on her novel.
You know this neighbor well enough to know she is creative
and intelligent, so you take the opportunity to compliment
her, saying something like “That’s incredible! I’m sure it will
be great when you finish it.” Anyone who has ever written
knows how difficult putting words to paper can be, so your
compliment will likely mean a lot. Later on, if she mentions
how difficult writing is or talks about having writer's block,
you can say (and mean it) “If anyone can do it, you can. You
are very clever and creative.” Saying that will remove your
neighbor’s self-doubt and motivate her to work harder.
 
Some people can’t take a compliment. No matter what you
say to them, they only see the negative. You tell them they
are a great musician, they focus on how much practice they
need. You compliment their cooking, they insist they simply
followed a recipe and have no natural talent in the kitchen.
The best way to handle such negativity is to smile and say “I
mean it just the same.” Once they see your compliment is
indeed from the heart, they will begin to accept it and
believe more in their own abilities and strengths..
 
Chapter 7: Be a Magnetic
Personality
 
Anywhere you go, there always seems to be someone, or
perhaps a few people, who are surrounded. People gravitate
to them, want to talk to them, want to hear what they have
to say. Being on the outside and looking in, it is easy to think
they are “magical,” or have something you don’t have.
 
The truth is, anyone can learn to draw people towards them.
By now you have the skills to strike up a conversation with
anyone; now it’s time to learn how to make people want to
talk to you. Whenever you see a new person, there is
something about them that makes you want to meet them.
At a social gathering, you may be drawn toward someone
who has an infectious laugh, an easy and confident manner
of speaking, or they may seem to make people around them
happy. Not everyone is born with a magnetic personality, but
anyone can learn to develop one. Here’s how.
 
Tip 1: Positive Attitude
 
Have you ever had a coworker who had nothing good to say,
ever? His boss is always treating him unfairly, his coworkers
disrespect him, he can’t stay on top of his bills, his girlfriend
left him, his dog bit him. Any solution or encouragement you
offer is met with indifference, or more negativity. To him,
everything is pointless. How long did it take for you to get
bored and weary of the conversation?
 
No one likes negativity. True, not every experience or
interaction you ever have is going to be positive, but it’s
focusing on negativity that turns people off. Focusing on
negativity makes you look self-absorbed. The depressing
coworker above that talks exclusively about what’s going
wrong in his life doesn’t want a conversation so much as he
wants a sounding board for his frustration. If you’ve ever
talked to anyone like that, you know that it gets old very
quickly.
 
So how can you be more positive? Can you replace every
unpleasant thought in your head with a happy one? Of
course not. The key to having a positive attitude is not to
avoid having negative thoughts and experiences, but to
know how to process those thoughts and experiences
constructively. Here’s an example: You make a mistake at
work which leads to a disciplinary meeting and a stern
lecture from a superior. Do you focus on how unfair the
meeting was? How dumb you must have been to make such
a mistake? Or do you look at the situation as a learning
experience, focus on improving your performance, and move
forward? If a coworker asks you later on what happened, how
do you respond?
 
A part of having a positive attitude is taking responsibility for
yourself and your actions. A negative person has things
happen to them, a positive person makes things happen. In
the example above, when your coworker asks what
happened, you can blame the situation, a lack of proper
training, or say that your boss is out to get you. You will look
like you are trying to shift responsibility for your error onto
someone else. If, on the other hand, you accept that you
made a mistake and focus on learning from the incident, you
will look mature and responsible. Everyone makes mistakes,
including the hypothetical boss and coworker in this
scenario. You will seem more confident and positive if you
accept responsibility and move forward. Here are some more
tips on maintaining a positive attitude:
 
● Be enthusiastic. Be eager to meet new people. Get
excited about events and projects. You will find that
people will gravitate to you and want to share your
enthusiasm.
● Maintain inner peace. Positivity comes from within.
A healthy self-esteem will give you a confident, happy
vibe that others will find irresistible.
● Be interested. Be curious about others, and want to
hear what they have to say.
● Look for the best in others. When you look for the
best in people, you make them want to be their best.
 
Tip 2: Humor
 
The first thing many people think of when they hear the word
“humor” is something, like a joke or story, that was designed
to be funny, to make people laugh. Certainly, it never hurts
you to have a few jokes in mind when talking to people, as
long as you keep them appropriate to your audience. Clean,
family-friendly jokes are always appropriate, so save your
edgier jokes for when you know your audience better. Here
are some more tips on developing a good sense of humor.
 
● Be witty. Sarcasm has a certain humorous appeal,
but focuses on negativity. Wit, on the other hand,
focuses on being clever and funny in any everyday
situation. It can be a difficult skill to learn. Watch
comedians, and pay attention to their timing and
delivery. Keep in mind, however, that a large part of
being witty is spontaneity. If being spontaneous is
difficult for you, practice making jokes and witty
observations with a friend.
● What makes you laugh? If you find something
funny, chances are at least some other people will as
well. Remember jokes and witticisms that make you
laugh, and repeat them to others--when they are
appropriate, of course. You wouldn’t tell a sexually
explicit joke at a church function, you wouldn’t tell a
“dumb blonde” joke to a blonde, and you shouldn’t
repeat racist jokes anywhere.
● Know when to let it go. Not every joke you crack is
going to be met with raucous laughter. Sometimes, for
whatever reason, a joke will fall flat. Sometimes you can
recover, sometimes you can’t. If a witty observation
doesn’t gain the applause you think it should, just move
on. Try the joke with a different audience if you can, or
just chalk it up to being less-than-clever.
 
There is a saying: “Blessed are those who can laugh at
themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.”
Having a good sense of humor is not confined to knowing a
few jokes; you must also be able to see the humor in
everyday situations, and not take yourself too seriously.
Sometimes, you have to let go of your pride and
acknowledge your own faults. No one is infallible, and
knowing how to laugh at yourself can not only make you
more likeable, but do wonders for your self-esteem.
 
 
Tip 3: Appear More Intelligent to Others
 
Everyone has their own brand of intelligence. Some people
have “book smarts,” a formal education focused on facts and
figures. Some people have “street smarts,” a common sense
gained from experience rather than studying. Some people
have a so-called sixth sense, or natural intuition. Some
people know how to say the right thing at the right time,
some are creative, some are analytical. In other words, no
one is “dumb” in the common sense of the word. Everyone,
yourself included, has something to offer the world.
 
What makes people seem dull or unintelligent is not their
lack of knowledge, but more of (a) a lack of opportunity to
exhibit their knowledge, and (b) not knowing how to exhibit
their knowledge. You may hold a doctorate in molecular
biology, but at a poetry reading you will likely not have much
to say. Obviously you aren’t foolish, but you don’t have the
proper platform to show what you know.
 
But fear not. With a little practice, you can look intelligent to
any group and in any setting, which will gain you
opportunities to share your strengths. Here are some tips on
how to achieve this:
 
● Using big words only helps if you know how to
use them. If you cannot accurately define, or say, the
word “incorrigible,” you shouldn’t use it in a sentence.
Someone who does know what the word means will
catch that you are trying to use big words to seem
smarter. Once you learn the meaning of “incorrigible”
(not able to be corrected or reformed) and how to
properly use it, you will fare better.
● Speak clearly, not loudly. A common
misconception is if you talk loud you will seem smart.
 You will only seem loud. Instead, speak clearly and a
regular pace.
● Again, listen and be curious. This is another
instance in which seeming genuinely interested in
others helps you. In this case, you seem smarter by
seeming naturally curious.
● Explore your natural intelligence. Intelligence is
essentially knowing things. Read to learn more about
things that interest you. If you are an art lover, go to art
museums. If you love nature, try natural history
museums and nature trails. You’ll become smarter and
have fun in the process.
● Look the part. Taking care of your appearance
makes you look more confident and intelligent. You
don’t need to wear an evening gown or tuxedo for every
event, but simply wear neat, well-fitting clothes and
maintain proper personal hygiene. Keep you hair and
nails neatly groomed. Wear makeup if you like, but don’t
bother if you don’t enjoy it--it will feel, and look, like a
mask and only serve to make you feel less confident.
 
You have likely noticed a pattern--many of the tips you’ve
seen involve being confident and listening well to others.
This is not meant to be repetitive. An air of confidence and
the ability to get people to talk will cause people to gravitate
to you, to want to hear what you have to say. Remember:
you are important, you have value, and you have something
to say. Even if you don’t make friends out of every person
you meet, people respect self-esteem.
Conclusion
 
Social anxiety is a quite common issue, but there is no
reason to allow it to control your life. Socializing, making
friends, getting to know and understand others--these are
some of life’s simplest pleasures. Whether your aim is to
have a large circle of acquaintances, or just a few close
friends, to rise to the top of your career or become more
effective in your current role; the the ability to communicate
effectively, to understand the wants and needs of others and
cause them to see your own point of view, and even
influence them, is essential.
 
After reading this book you should have a good
understanding of how to socialize with others. But knowing
how to carry on a conversation is only the beginning--now
it’s time to practice your new skills. The next time you are at
a party and see someone you would like to know better, step
out of the corner and break the ice. Use your small talk skills
to get a feel for their personality. Ask questions. Listen. Find
common ground. Make them feel good about who they are.
The more you socialize, the better you get at it, and the
more interesting you become. You may have a few missteps
and awkward moments, but use these moments as learning
experiences and you will find that, before long, other people
will gravitate to you, and want to hear what you have to say.
 
Reading this book is only half the battle. Get out there and
start socializing!
 
  
Memory Squared
 
Why Maximizing Your
Capacity for Information Can
Skyrocket Your Productivity,
Success and Happiness
 
 
Table of Contents
 
Introduction
Chapter 1: Why You Should Train Your Memory
Chapter 2: Maintaining Memory Is More Important
Than Ever Before
Chapter 3: The Architecture of Memory
Chapter 5: Spatial Memory – The Secret to a Sharp
Memory
Chapter 6: The Memory Palace – Method of Loci
Chapter 7: Compressing Information
Chapter 8: The Major System
Chapter 9: Spaced Repetition
Conclusion
 
 
Introduction
 
“Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us.”
-Oscar Wilde
 
You’ve probably never thought of your memory as your
most prized possession. After all, it is something that runs in
the background, sorting through our thoughts and emotions,
organizing the experiences of our lives. It’s only those
occasions when we have what we call a ‘senior moment’ or
‘brain fart’ that we are reminded to consider this amazing
capacity that we have to store endless amounts of sensory
data, thoughts and information.
Memory, in short, is our ability to summarize our life
experiences. It shapes who we are, as well as our future
reality. It grants us wisdom, judgement, and the ability to
solve problems. And yet, we hardly understand how it works
or how to maximize its potential to enhance our lives.
Memory plays a key role in our happiness because it is
associated with our identity. We form our beliefs not around
our experiences, but around the memory of our experiences
- in other words, how we commit our experience to our long
term memory determines how we look at them later and
incorporate them into our belief systems about the world.
Having a detailed, accurate memory is an extremely
valuable thing to develop because it can allow us to make
more wise and accurate judgements in the future. Your
memory is your personal library of life experiences!
 Memory is also your foundation to all learning. One
thing we weren’t taught in school is the proper way to use
our memory to study. How much information can be stored
at a time? When should we take breaks to optimize
information retention? How can we commit information in
short term memory to long term memory? In this book, we
will cover the science behind all of these questions. As it
turns out, there an extremely powerful method known as
spaced repetition that will allow you to improve your
retention of large amounts of information simply by
reviewing it at certain intervals of time.
One of the most exciting tools to learn to improve your
memory is a familiar technique known as the memory
palace. We will be learning this technique in detail - and it
may be more fun that you could have imagined! Once you
get into the habit of using this technique, it will become
almost like a game and you will experience the joy of being
able to remember large amounts of information easily and
imaginatively.
Developing a powerful memory is an often overlooked tool of
self development, but there are so many benefits that come
along with mastering this important skill. Once you get used
to implementing some of these techniques in your life, you
will wonder how you ever got along without them!
Chapter 1: Why You Should Train Your
Memory
 
Having a sharp memory can be an invaluable skill in
this modern age. With a sharp memory comes a whole host
of benefits that will help you in your day to day life. Whether
you are a student, a businessperson, a gas station attendant,
or what have you, a sharp memory will have unseen benefits
all around. This first chapter will discuss some of the more
obvious and a few overlooked benefits to having a good
memory.
One of the most obvious uses for a strong memory is for
students, but this applies equally to anybody wishing to
study more efficiently. Individuals who have a sharp memory
are much more likely to recall information than those
without. This means that time spent studying will be cut
down drastically. Rather than cramming information for
several hours a day, multiple days before a test, you could
study more efficiently for one or two hours. When it comes
time to take the exam you’ll be able to recall the information
significantly easier. Not only will you do better on exams, but
you’ll also free up a significant amount of time that would
have otherwise been spent studying. That’s like icing on the
cake.
Being able to study more efficiently is a huge boon to any
student. Free time is a rare commodity when living the
campus life. Not only will being able to study more efficiently
reward you with your sanity and more free time, it’s also
guaranteed to boost your grades. Knowing how to study is
more than half the battle. And if you aren’t sure exactly what
the best methods for that are, well don’t worry. I’ve got you
covered in a few chapters. As I already mentioned though,
you certainly don’t want to be cramming information for
hours on end. Not only is that stressful, but you won’t retain
much of the information that way either. It is much more
efficient to study for shorter amounts of time more often
throughout the week. This way you will retain more
information in a shorter amount of time.
Another benefit people often overlook is often used by
business professionals. This includes remembering names,
faces, and any presentation materials. The benefits of
remembering presentation materials are a little easier to
understand. When presenting, being familiar with your
material allows you to speak clearly and confidently,
transition smoothly, and look more professional overall.
Being unfamiliar with presentation materials gives off the
illusion of unprofessionalism because you will be more likely
to slip up. This could cause any potential business partners
to shy away from you or your product. A subtle perk of
having a sharp memory in the business world is
remembering business partners’ or potential clients’ names
and faces. Remembering names and faces is good in its own
right, but being able to put the two together will set you
apart and impress your colleagues. Being able to address a
client or partner by name subconsciously makes them feel
more important. If you are sure to greet them by name every
time you see them they will be much more likely to
remember you in turn. Combine this with having a solid
presentation and you are on the fast track to becoming
successful in the world of business.
Along with remembering names and faces, get in the habit of
actually listening to people when they talk. If you’re able to
regurgitate the information you took in during a meeting
from a few weeks ago when it’s relevant now, it will show
initiative and drive on your end. This looks great to bosses
and shows them that you are a dependable and valuable
asset.
On top of being useful for business and school, your memory
will also serve you well in your personal life. In an age
dominated by technology our ability to remember things as a
species has started to fade. Being able to recall things as
simple as credit card numbers, social security numbers, and
phone numbers can improve your life simply by making it
easier to save time. Oftentimes when ordering things online
you will be asked to fill in your credit card information;
sometimes you will have to do this multiple times per form.
You could save yourself a couple of minutes at a time by
memorizing those numbers instead of having to dig through
your purse or wallet for the card each time. Now, a couple of
minutes doesn’t seem like much, but over time those
minutes add up. If memorizing your credit card information
saved you just one and a half minutes every time you
needed it and you only ordered something online thirty times
a year you would end up saving forty-five minutes a year.
That’s forty-five minutes you could have spent doing
something else. And that is only time saved by memorizing a
credit card number; there are several other things you could
memorize to maximize the time you save over the course of
a year. Another thing most people don’t often remember are
phone numbers. People have become too reliant on their
smartphones to just remember information for them. There
are several situations where having a number memorized
will help you. For example, say your phone dies and you
need to get ahold of somebody. Most people would be out of
luck. If you memorize important phone numbers you will
never be in this situation. You’ll always have an emergency
contact at the ready, smartphone or not.
Another major benefit to a good memory is when you are in
the kitchen. Being able to memorize and recall recipes is
extremely helpful. Knowing what to preheat the oven to, how
long to cook something, when to add a certain ingredient,
etc. are all very helpful when trying to seamlessly cook a
meal. Having to stop periodically to read a cookbook or
recipe will add quite a bit of time to any meal. Not only that,
but you also run the risk of potentially burning something if
you have to stop monitoring it as it cooks so you can read a
recipe.
Overall, having a sharp memory will improve your general
quality of life. It will reduce stress and keep your mind sharp.
You won’t have to worry about misplacing things nearly as
often and those pesky brain farts where you just can’t recall
something will be few and far between. These will be lasting
benefits going well into your old age. Training your brain now
and keeping it maintained into your old age will make it
much less likely to deteriorate as quickly or easily.
On top of all of these other benefits, if you read to keep your
mind sharp you are more likely to be more intelligent. That’s
just an added benefit of being highly literate. It’s not a direct
benefit of training your memory itself, but it is certainly a
nice bonus! Not only that, but those who do read tend to be
happier as well. So, by simply reading a book you’ll keep
your wit sharp, be a more intelligent person, and be overall
happier.
Our brain is one of our most important assets. If we don’t
take care of it now we won’t have much of one left when
we’re older. It’s already hard enough to keep our minds from
rotting away as we age. The older you get the harder it is to
recall even the simplest of things. That’s why you should do
simple mental exercises now to decrease the likelihood of
diseases such as early-onset Alzheimer’s and other
debilitating illnesses. The peace of mind you gain from
having a solid memory should be reward enough for the 15
or 20 minutes a day it will take you to exercise your brain.
The next chapter will explain why it’s more important now
than ever to keep your brain in tip-top shape. It’s always
been a very important part of our society, but the more
advanced we get as a species the more we degrade mental
capacity. We’ve begun relying more and more on technology
to do even the simplest of tasks. It’s getting to a worrying
level. It’s time to take control and begin actively developing
and maintaining your memory!
 
Chapter 2: Maintaining Memory Is
More Important Than Ever Before
 
Memory is an essential part of our lives. So essential,
in fact, that as a species we used to solely rely on it to
survive. In more primal civilizations memory kept people
from eating poisonous berries or by being mauled by large
animals. It was a sort of trial by fire, so to speak. Once they
noticed that eating specific foods caused people to get sick
and eventually die, they avoided those foods altogether.
Similarly, once they noticed certain creatures were more
dangerous than others they would take measures to avoid
those creatures. Again, sticking with animals and food, our
ancestors would follow animals around and learn their daily
routines and habits. This allowed them to better understand
their prey. They would remember where they liked to eat and
sleep and could capitalize on these vulnerabilities when
hunting to maximize the amount of food they would return
with from a hunting trip.
These were some of the earliest civilizations. The cave
dwellers that painted on walls and didn’t know how to make
fire. They had to rely on their experiences and those of their
ancestors to survive. It wasn’t as simple as asking Siri where
the nearest Italian restaurant was back in the day. They
legitimately had to dedicate things like the breeding habits
and sleeping patterns of their prey to memory. They noticed
things like animals eating certain kind of berries. So one day,
they had to have some unfortunate soul try a handful of the
berries. If they were bad and the person keeled over, well,
take note to avoid those berries. If they were edible though,
watching the animals paid off and they committed that to
memory!
In more agricultural based civilizations memory served
to help them with their crops. Farmers would have to
remember what to grow in certain plots, how their crops
would be affected by the changing of the seasons when to
rotate crops, and much more. Forgetting one or more of
these could have been detrimental to not only the farmer
and their family but anybody else that was being sustained
by those crops. Basically, maintaining a long memory was
the foundation that kept these ancients civilizations alive.
Not only did they have to remember things like the
seasons, weather patterns, and other seemingly mystical
things at the time, they also had to remember which plants
were ok to grow and how to make more of them. It’s not like
they could run down to their local hardware store and pick
up a bunch of seeds. They had to figure all of that out on
their own. On top of that, they had to figure out the most
efficient methods for growing those crops and commit that to
memory. There was no way for these ancient civilizations to
just Google “how to grow corn”. They had to watch and learn
from somebody that already knew how and memorize it.
As important as our memory is, modern society has
evolved to reduce our need for it. That is to say, we’ve made
so many technological advancements that we have devalued
being sharp minded. That’s not to say that there aren’t still
perks to having a strong mind because that’s wildly untrue.
It’s just that with all of the technology at our disposal most
people disregard the benefits of a sharp mind in lieu of the
simplicity that technology provides. To reference the first
chapter, there are several benefits of having a strong
memory. It used to be commonplace for people to remember
things as simple as phone numbers. Back in the days of
rotary phones, or even landlines, if you wanted to call
somebody you had better remember their phone number,
otherwise, it may as well not exist. There was no contacts
app to rely on. Your only other option was to hope that
whoever you wanted to call had a listing in some archaic text
known as a phonebook. This was essentially a compilation of
telephone numbers for the majority of people in your area.
The smartphone singlehandedly made the human
species dumber. Not only is it practically impossible to
remember all of your contacts’ phone numbers, but the
majority of people don’t know how to read maps or road
signs anymore either. Now people rely on a robotic voice to
tell them when to turn left or how far to drive until they’ve
reached their destination. We’ve reached a day and age
where the answer to any question we may ever have is at
our fingertips. All any average joe has to do is type
something into a search engine and they’re practically an
armchair genius. People have gone as far as relying on their
social media calendars to remind them of dates as important
as close friends’ or family members’ birthdays and minor
holidays. It really is wild how much people rely on technology
for such mundane tasks. Every day with every advancement
we stray further from maintaining our memory.
Going back to cooking, it used to be such a basic,
everyday activity. It was just a part of life for a housekeeper
to learn how to cook and just know it. They learned from
their parents who learned from their parents before and it’s
just been passed down every generation for years using only
their memory. Nowadays, a large amount of people in the
kitchen are on their smartphone browsing Pinterest for the
next cute desert they’d like to make, without the benefit of
the cultural memory passed down from one generation of
bakers to the next.
Our brains are muscles. If we don’t use them they will
deteriorate. We’ve already got it bad enough in the memory
department. We don’t need to make it any worse by actively
avoiding using our brains. We’ve gotten to a point where we
will shut our brains off for hours on end for entertainment.
Whether it be watching television for hours on end or playing
some mindless video game. The point is, we aren’t actively
engaging our brain in anything, we just sit there, staring at a
screen, mouth slightly open because we don’t want to have
to think.
To add to this, these sources of entertainment have all
but replaced reading. I’ve already touched on the importance
of reading. It has been proven that people who read are, in
general, more intelligent people. And more intelligent people
are, more often than not, happier. They live a higher quality
life because they hold themselves to a higher standard than
the uneducated layman. Instead of getting lost in a fantasy
world, or an alternate universe to read about philosophy and
philanthropy, people now stare at a screen for hours and
hours at a time. Not even to be replaced by something
equally as enthralling. Oftentimes they’re just watching
reality television shows or overly biased news programs.
People are slowly losing this ability to think for themselves.
Like any muscle, the only way to grow it is by
exercising it. This can be as simple or as complicated as you
make it. You don’t have to go out and do complex equations
or write a lengthy novel every day, though that certainly
wouldn’t hurt. It’s much simpler than that. Even simple
puzzles will help keep your memory sharp. Doing crossword
puzzles in your down time. Instead of turning your brain off
and watching reruns of some television show you’re hardly
even interested in you should do something more
productive. Practice an instrument that you’ve always
wanted to learn. Learn a new skill like knitting or painting.
Anything creative and engaging to get your mind working.
Arguably the most productive thing to strengthen your
mind is reading. Those who read regularly are on average
smarter and much more likely to retain information than
those who do not. Not only is reading good for your mind, it
is also highly entertaining. When you find a good book by an
author you enjoy you allow yourself to get lost in the world
the author has created. Why not benefit from this by
allowing your mind to expand as well? If fiction isn’t your
thing then you can double down on self-improvement and
read something educational or historical as well. There is so
much to be learned from literature. You should absolutely
utilize this proven method if you wish to boost your memory.
Chapter 3: The Architecture of
Memory
 
We use each of our five senses to help us store and,
later, retrieve information. This is done subconsciously
without us ever intending to do so. The fact that we use each
of our five senses to store memories can be illustrated in a
phenomenon known as the baker/Baker paradox.
The baker/Baker paradox is a mind experiment that
goes like this: Two subjects are both shown a picture of a
man and told two similar, but different things about the man.
One subject is told that the man is a baker by trade. No other
information is given. The other subject is simply told that the
man’s last name is Baker. Again, no other information is
given. These two subjects no nothing else about the man
other than what they were originally told. Several days later
the men are asked to recall the word that was associated
with the picture of the man. The person who was told the
man’s last name was Baker has a difficult time recalling it,
while the person who was told the man’s profession was a
baker is almost always able to remember that word.
Why is it that when given the same word and shown the
same picture one person had a considerably easier time
recalling the word associated with the man? That’s simple.
The answer is exactly that, association. We utilize each of
our five senses to help us remember things. This is why the
person that was told the man’s profession was a baker had
an easier time remembering that word than the man who
was told Baker was a name. Remembering the man as a
baker is much easier because our brains subconsciously
associate things with the memory, such as the smell of
freshly baked bread, a large hat, and the taste of some
delicious pastry a baker might have made. It is much easier
to remember these smells and tastes that we’ve associated
with the man’s profession than it is to use rote memorization
and hope to recall the man’s name.
The baker/Baker paradox is a more subconscious method of
using association where our brain automatically associates
memories with certain senses. A more involved use for
association comes when we are actively trying to memorize
things. There are several tricks that have been proven
successful in helping people memorize things like capitals,
countries of the world, long strings of numbers, and other
similarly boring topics. Just trying to use plain rote
memorization is a terrible idea! It would drive any sane
person crazy in a matter of minutes. It’s far too easy to slip
up and get stuck. With the power of association, you’ll no
longer have to worry about that!
The entire premise of association is based on taking
something boring, or difficult to memorize, and associating it
with something outlandish, or memorable. The idea behind
this is that it will be considerably easier to remember a short
story or image with very vivid details than it will be to
remember a list of whatever it is you are trying to memorize.
A common method for this is by making a short story out of
it. You associate each item in the list of things you want to
memorize with a similar sounding, but a very recognizable
word. Then you take each of these words, starting with the
first, and work them into a short story. The story itself
doesn’t matter so much as long as each of the words
remains the same.
Association doesn’t have to be that complex though. It can
be, and often is, much simpler than that. It can be as simple
as the mnemonic device people commonly use to remember
the colors of the rainbow. Red Orange Yellow Green Blue
Indigo Violet can be reduced to a phrase - Roy G Biv. By
associating a color with each letter of the name it makes it
easier to remember.
Our brains are always looking for easy to make comparisons
that will help with memory. That’s why association is such a
proven method for memorizing new things. It’s the way our
brains already work to help sort and recall information. When
you learn something new, your brain is already trying to link
that new information to something you already know to
make it easier on itself to recall later. Or when you meet
somebody new for the first time, your brain will attempt to
pick out visual cues to remember that person. For example,
say you meet somebody named Harry. Your brain may try to
associate the fact that they had a lot of body hair with their
name.
Imagine an apple. What are some of the first words that
come to your mind when you think of it? They were most
likely red, crunchy, tree, and pie, or something very similar
to those. These are just associations that your brain has
tethered to your memory of an apple. Every time you see or
think of an apple those are the thoughts floating around in
your head, under the surface of your awareness.
You can test this out on your own if you want. Your brain is
constantly looking to make connections to other memories. If
you want, get a pencil and some paper to test what your
brain associates with a few random words. This could help
you in a later part of the book when we talk about building a
memory palace. Knowing the types of words that your brain
associates together will help you in understanding how to
make more effective connections yourself and help you read
the cues your brain gives you.
So, let’s get to the test. On the piece of paper write
down this list of words: giraffe, eleven, painting, sunset,
disco-ball, college. Once you’re done with that, in a column
next to the original words write the first few thoughts that
pop into your head when you read them. These will be the
thoughts that your brain has subconsciously associated with
those words. This will help you better understand the
associations your brain tends to already make.
The brain utilizes the five senses and association when
creating and storing long-term memories. Have you ever
thought about how you’re always able to recall what your
favorite perfume smells like, or the taste of your favorite
food? Try it now. Imagine you’re walking through a forest,
birds chirping in the trees, a creek slowly babbling on in the
distance, the cool feeling of a gentle breeze blowing by. Did
it work? If so, that’s because you’ve experienced each of
these things before and your brain has associated each of
those things with a particular smell or sound. Even if you
haven’t been in the exact situation I described before, your
brain is able to build a close approximation of that
experience based on the information it already has stored.
It’s uncanny how our brains can build this elaborate scene
that feels so real using only what it already knows and a little
push in the right direction.

Now that I’ve told you about how the five senses and

association are involved in building memories I’ll teach you

about the three types of memory. Hopefully, you will be able

to use what you have learned from these two chapters when

we start to learn how to build a better memory. Being more

conscientious of how your brain works will make it easier for

you to tap into and utilize these tactics in your everyday life

when trying to sharpen your memory.

Chapter 4: Long Term Memory, Short Term Memory,
and Working Memory

 
In this chapter, I will discuss the three types of
memory. These include long term memory, short term
memory, and working memory. Short-term memory and
working memory have a lot of similarities and sometimes
overlap. Long term memory is more straightforward and
simple to understand. For simplicity’s sake, let’s start by
explaining long-term memory.
Long term memory, as the name implies, is how we
store information for a long period of time. This includes any
memory you have that is more than a few minutes old. That
said, not all memories are equal. Some are considerably
stronger than others. You will distinctly remember some
memories better than others; the more memorable ones are
usually big events in your life. On top of that, a majority of
your memories may have been influenced by others in your
lifetime. The reason for that is that memory isn’t static.
Each time someone recalls a memory they recall it a little
differently. Over the course of time we start to add or
subtract details, some details are subconsciously influenced
by other people, but the result is always the same. The
longer you have a memory stored in your long-term memory
the more likely it is to have changed from how you originally
remembered it.
Just as there are three different categories for memory there
are two sub-categories for long-term memory. These
subcategories are known as explicit and implicit memories.
They do roughly the same job, but there is one distinct
difference between the two. Explicit memories are the ones
of events or activities that you can recall actually
experiencing or learning. Implicit memories are the ones
where you subconsciously remember something.
As I stated, explicit memories are usually big events in your
life that you will remember. These can include birthdays,
going on a nice vacation, seeing the ocean for the first time,
and similarly grand activities. Explicit memories,
unfortunately, aren’t all positive. They could be anything
traumatic like a car crash, losing a family member, or any
other memorable traumatic experience. Finally, they can also
be facts that you remember such as a math equation you
learned in school. The point is, explicit memories are
occurrences or facts that you consciously remember.
Implicit memories are more subtle and subconscious than
explicit memories. These are the types of memories we use
when we learn a new skill that we don’t have to actively
think about. They are the types of skills we learn once and
are always able to recall. The best example of these kinds of
memories is learning to ride a bike. Somebody could learn to
ride a bike as a young child, get rather good at it, stop riding
for several years, and still know exactly how to ride a bike
after several years without practice. Implicit memories are
something you can learn and do but don’t have to actively
think about.
Even though explicit and implicit memories are separate
they aren’t always mutually exclusive. Oftentimes long term
memory is fluid in that explicit and implicit can blend
together.
The major counterpart to long term memory is short term
memory. Short term memory is extremely important. This is
where most of our thoughts happen and it’s where we
process the input from our senses. Metaphorically speaking,
short term memory is the brain’s receptionist. It’s where new
information comes in and is processed. Short term memory
basically tells new information to grab a sign in sheet and
wait to be directed further. Short term memory then sorts
this new information into two groups. One group is
information that will only be kept around for a short amount
of time to complete a very specific task. These types of
memories are usually thought of as working memories. The
other group is information that will be sent off and stored for
a longer amount of time. Basically, short term memory
screens the applicants that are applying for the other two
memory types.
Working memory is very similar to short term memory. Often
the two terms are used interchangeably. However, working
memory is better thought of as a chalkboard. This is where
the brain will actively think about things. Doing things like
mental math or working on puzzles. This is essentially the
workhorse of the brain. It’s also where you store those short
term thoughts that you will only need to use for a brief
amount of time. You can remember something like a short
string of numbers you may need to enter or the price of
something you hope to buy. These things are usually largely
inconsequential and will be forgotten within a few minutes.
 It’s a very important job processing all the new
information. Occasionally, however, short term memory will
mess up. This phenomenon is known as déjà vu.
Déjà vu occurs when our short-term goofs up and
immediately sends a fresh short-term memory to be stored
in long term. This confuses the brain because as the event
happens it is being processed in long-term memory so it
gives your brain the illusion of recalling it exactly as it’s
happening in front of you. Basically, instead of taking in new
information and processing it first, your brain skips a step
and it winds up being stored as an old memory. With as
much information as short term memory must process it’s a
wonder that stuff like this doesn’t happen more frequently.
The three types of memory can be likened to a warehouse.
Short-term memory plays the role of the trucks bringing in all
of the new information and unloading it. They unload all of
this information onto the conveyer belts and send it down
the line. This is where working memory takes over as the
minimum wage worker doing all the grunt work. They take
care of all the physical labor and menial tasks and refer all of
the actual issues back to short term memory. Short term
memory doubles up on tasks now. Not only is short term
memory in charge of bringing in the new information, it’s
also in charge of telling working memory where to send it.
It’s got one of two options. The new information can either
be kept with short term memory to use for some issue they
have on hand or it can be sent to long term memory. When
information gets sent to long term memory they act as the
storage crew. They box everything up, label it nicely and put
it all in nice, neat rows to be retrieved later.
Your memory is like a candle. The older you get the shorter it
gets. Our brains start to deteriorate with age. Our long-term
memory starts to get hazier and more difficult to recall while
our short term memory doesn’t last quite as long. Computers
are really the perfect metaphor for the human brain. Much
like a computer, the older our brain gets and the more we
“download” onto it, the slower it will be at recalling
information. As we keep loading information into our brain it
takes more and more computing power to recall information,
but as we age we begin losing that computing power.
Memories are much more difficult to recall and usually much
more inaccurate and processing new information is more
difficult as well. That’s why you should train your brain.
Doing short puzzles, reading, doing simple math, anything to
keep your brain active going into old age will keep it from
deteriorating as drastically.
A key component to keeping a sharp mind is having good
spatial memory. Now that we’ve discussed the importance of
short and long term memory we can discuss how to hone
and improve both through improving our capacity for spatial
memory. We will discuss what exactly spatial memory is and
the effects that it can have when you improve it in the
following chapter. Additionally, we will discuss the detriments
of having poor spatial memory. It may seem daunting, but
fear not! By following the advice listed in this book and
understanding its concepts you will be well on your way to
be able to create large memory palaces and more.
Chapter 5: Spatial Memory – The
Secret to a Sharp Memory
 
We’ve discussed short term, long term, and working
memory, but there is one more type of memory we haven’t
gone over yet. That’s spatial memory. Now, spatial memory
is a little bit different than the other three in that it isn’t
exactly a way of remembering things per se. It’s more just a
sense of being aware of your surroundings, or your space,
hence the name. Of course, you can’t do that without
processing and remembering everything that’s going on
around you, but working memory and short-term memory
have those covered, respectively. Spatial memory is
frequently referred to as a sort of cognitive map. You use it
to process your location in relation to everything around you
and navigate through it all.
Spatial memory is incredibly important because without it,
you would be oblivious to everything that was going on
around you. You’d be in a constant state of confusion as you
blundered about your daily life. You’d never remember
something as simple as navigating through your home. This
could be detrimental, especially if you particularly had to use
the restroom late at night and couldn’t remember how to get
there from wherever you are. A more serious side effect of
not having spatial memory would be when crossing the
street. If you weren’t aware of your surroundings and
attempted to cross the street there is a very good chance
you could be hit by a car.
Clearly, spatial memory is pretty important. It helps us
navigate our surroundings, remember and plan routes,
remember where objects are located, and other basic
functions we do every day. Without it, we’d be at a loss. But
how is spatial memory a key component in improving
memory overall? Well, let’s find out!
We know that spatial memory is in charge of helping us
navigate through our surroundings and remember where
everything is in relation to everything else. We also know
that it has to rely on the other three types of memory to
function properly. It needs short-term and working memory
to process the information around us and then it is able to
use working memory as a sort of chalkboard to map
everything out.
As stated, spatial memory allows us to navigate our
surroundings and locate objects within them. This is an
incredibly valuable skill that we need throughout the entirety
of our lives but only gets weaker with age. As with anything,
our memory needs to be exercised and kept in tip top shape
if we hope to keep it from deteriorating into nothingness as
we grow old. Losing the ability to process and thus navigate
our surroundings would be debilitating.
The parts of the brain that are in charge of spatial memory
are the hippocampus and the medial temporal lobes that are
surrounding it. These are very important parts of the brain
that are linked to spatial memory and episodic memory, or
the memory of specific events. This is why as we get older
and our brains start to deteriorate we begin to forget
memories that were once very important to us, it becomes
harder to recall information, and we begin to forget who we
are or where we are. This is made considerably worse by
diseases that specifically target these parts of the brain,
such as Alzheimer’s disease.
Having a strong spatial memory is, in a roundabout way, the
key to having a strong memory overall. The reasoning for
this is because spatial memory is connected to those parts of
the brain that control our episodic memories (the ones that
give us our individuality, make us who we are) and
familiarity-based recognition, as well as many other types of
memory. If you are able to train your brain to keep it sharp, it
will be less likely to deteriorate at an early age, or at the
very least, it won’t go quite as rapidly.
Spatial memory isn’t just for navigating our physical location.
It’s also heavily utilized in some later chapters of the book
when you’re learning about the memory palace and other
mnemonic devices like the major system. Basically, any sort
of memory system that will have you associate words with
pictures or other senses will require you to use your spatial
memory. This works because much like navigating your
house in real life, your spatial memory is able to map out the
fictional memory palace you’ve built inside your head so you
are able to navigate that as well.
At this point, you should notice that each type of memory is
involved in some way or another with every other type.
Spatial memory has to utilize all three other types to be
effective. It has to rely on long-term to remember the layout
of everything. It uses short term to take in all the new
information as it comes in. Finally, it uses working memory to
actively work out how to navigate through everything. This
process is called spatial memory. The activity of utilizing all
three types of memory is the perfect example of memory
working in tandem to accomplish a more advanced task than
any of them could on their own. This is an essential part of
the human brain.
So, if spatial memory helps us to navigate our
surroundings, surely it can be used in an entirely fictional
environment that we’ve just made up, right? But what would
the benefits of that fictional place even be? Why would we
need to know how to navigate it? I’ll answer all of those
questions and more in the next chapter where we discuss
the memory palace! Sounds like a magical place, huh? That’s
because it is.
Chapter 6: The Memory Palace –
Method of Loci
 
Alright, the memory palace! Also known as the method
of loci. And no, loci is not Thor’s brother or the bad guy from
The Avengers. At least, not in this context. No, in this context
loci is Latin for places. So the method of loci translates to the
method of places. But how does this translate to memory?
Well, you’re about to find out.
The memory palace is yet another method that can be used
to help memorize, sort, store, and finally, retrieve
information. The memory palace is a mnemonic device that
was popularly used by Greeks and Romans of old. It proved
so useful, however, that memory champions (yes, they’re a
thing) still use this method to this day when trying to
remember long lists of people, faces, numbers, or anything
else. This method, like most others, has little to do with how
smart you are, but, in fact, relies mainly on spatial
awareness. In building a memory palace one must associate
one item from their list with a specific room, or perhaps one
object in a larger room. They do this for every item on their
list until each item has either its own room or is associated
with another object within a room in the memory palace.
This is where the spatial memory kicks in. You must be very
spatially aware when navigating your memory palace so you
pick up on all of the cues you have left yourself to remember
those specific items in the list when navigating your memory
palace.
If you wanted to attempt to memorize each of the 50 states
of the United States using the method of loci then one way
you could go about doing that would be to create a specific
room in the memory palace for each of the 50 states. You
would start with the first room or state. You would think
about all of the things that remind you of that state and then
decorate that room with them. That way, whenever you
close your eyes and imagine you are walking through this
room in your memory palace you will see all these things
reminding you of a certain state and you can deduce that
must be what this room was representing. You will repeat
this 49 times until you have a room dedicated to each of the
50 states. Once that’s done, all you have left to do is close
your eyes and enter your palace. Walk through each of the
rooms, see the clues you have left for yourself, name the
state, and move on to the next one.
If creating a room for each of the 50 states sounds a little too
daunting, maybe you could just create one room and have
one or two items that would remind you of each state within
it. For example, if I wanted to remember Arkansas I would
think of either a diamond because it’s the Natural State, or
perhaps an image of a small scale Walmart. Just think of
something that is easily identifiable to you. It doesn’t have to
make sense to other people as long as you understand what
you’re trying to remember. That’s the beauty of using your
memory palace, it doesn’t have to make sense because it’s
all in your head and you are the only one who will ever see
it. It can be as wild and imaginative as you want it to be as
long as it is effective.
The main benefit of using the method of loci is that it is able
to turn abstract information into “tangible” items. I say
tangible in quotes because obviously, you aren’t physically
creating these items, they are still simply figments of your
imagination; however, rather than just being something
whimsical like a string of numbers, you can visualize it in a
very real manner. By associating a string of numbers with
physical objects and placing them in your memory palace
you are making them “more real”. You will be able to enter
your memory palace, go to the place you’ve stored this
information, walk around the room, and interact with the
information, all as if it were a real item. This visualization
using spacial awareness is much more effective at helping us
recall information than just straining and trying to memorize
a long list of items without the help of any method.
This brings us all the way back around to how spatial
memory is one of the most important aspects of having a
strong memory overall. If you have a weak spatial memory
when you’re trying to build and navigate your memory
palace it won’t do you much good at all. You won’t be able to
remember where you’ve placed anything. You’ll get lost
between rooms, not pick up on the clues you’ve left for
yourself, and overall, defeat the entire purpose of even
having a memory palace. So, it is very important to build up
a strong spatial memory.
Memory Palace Exercise
Let’s go ahead and try out building your very first memory
palace. Realistically, they can be used to memorize just
about anything. It’s very common for people to remember a
long string of nonsensical numbers when competing in
memory competitions. That won’t really apply to your
everyday life though. Let’s go with something more relevant,
like a credit card number. On average, credit card numbers
are 16 digits long. Now there are a ton of different ways this
could be done. You could assign each number an item and
put it on display in a room, but that would get messy and
you’d probably not be sure which order they go in. I say we
choose a method that’s a little more organized. It will
probably take a little bit longer, but each number will be in
order and it will be much more organized. I like the idea of
giving each number on the card it’s own room. Even this
could be done several different ways. You could create a long
hallway with several doors numbered 1 through 16, or my
preferred method, create one very tall building with an
elevator where each floor corresponds with a number on the
card. To be more clear, the first floor will correspond with the
first digit, the second floor will be the second digit, and so on
so forth all the way to the sixteenth number.
For this exercise, I will be using a completely made up string
of numbers to simulate an actual credit card. I got this from
a random number generator, it is in no way a real credit
card. Moving on, the number I’ll be demonstrating my
memory palace with is as follows: 6264-7992-9542-8862.
On the first floor of my memory palace, I need something to
remind me that the number six is the first number of my
credit card. Again, this could be anything and it doesn’t have
to make sense to anyone but you. That said, the more
outlandish or memorable it is, the easier it will be to recall
later. So, I’m going to choose six slithering snakes. They will
just be slithering around the first floor of my memory palace.
Now I’m going to run to the elevator, hop in, and hit the
button to go to the second floor.
Keep in mind, the second floor means the second digit of the
credit card. For me, that would be two. I’m going to imagine
there are two towering trees. I get back in the elevator and
move to floor number three.
On the third floor, there are six more slithering snakes! By
keeping the objects the same for the same number even
though they’re on different floors I won’t accidentally
confuse myself. There’s no point in convoluting things further
if you don’t have to.
Once I reach the fourth floor I find four fat farmers! Squeeze
past them and back into the elevator.
On the fifth floor of my memory palace, there are seven
steaming bowls of spaghetti.
Once I reach the sixth floor I find nine nagging nuns. I quickly
escape to my elevator to reach the seventh floor.
To my dismay, the seventh floor houses nine more nagging
nuns. Fortunately, I’m not there long.
The eighth floor has two more towering trees. A welcome
sight after the nuns.
Floor number nine brings on nine more nuns.
On the tenth floor, there are five flapping flamingos!
The eleventh floor has four fat farmers.
On the twelfth floor, there are two towering trees!
Floor number 13 has eight elegant equestrians.
Floor number 14 also has eight elegant equestrians.
The fifteenth floor has six slithering snakes.
And finally, the sixteenth floor has two towering trees.
Ok… Now I know that using descriptions like that make it
seem pretty childish, but that actually helps my brain to
recall what was in that particular room, which I can then
relate back to numbers, thus helping me remember my
credit card number. If we decided to tour my memory palace
in the first room, the room on the first floor, we would find all
six of those slithering snakes. That makes the first number in
the series a six. If we continue to the second room, we’d find
this one had two towering trees, making the second digit a
two. The third room held six more snakes, making the third
number a six. In the fourth room, there were four fat farmers.
That finishes our first block of four numbers with the series
6264. I could continue explaining this all the way through the
sixteenth room and you would see that by relating each
number to a specific object I am able to recall it much easier.
Try this with your own credit card number and your own set
of associations to see for yourself!
You should begin picking out how each of the types of
memories plays a role in the memory palace. Long term
memory is obviously where everything is stored. This is a
pretty massive way of remembering information over a long
period of time, so it only makes sense that it’s kept in the
long term memory. Short-term and working memory are
going to be a little more confusing. Technically you could say
they would be used as you are walking through your memory
palace and noticing things. As you interact with items in your
memory palace and recall information you could try to say
that’s short term memory. In actuality, it mostly just boils
down to being spatial memory. This is the real heavy hitter
when you’re talking about the method of loci. As was stated
earlier, spatial memory is useful not only in the physical
world but also in your fictional memory palace. The same
rules apply when in the memory palace. Spatial memory is
still in charge of helping you navigate through everything.
Chapter 7: Compressing Information
 
Our brains are essentially highly advanced computers.
At the very least, they have a lot of similarities. They do the
same job of processing information for us in real time and
also storing it away for us to access later. That said, there
are a lot of shared terms between the two. The one we’re
going to learn about now is compressing information.
In the computer world, you would compress information
when you have a lot of data that you want to store but don’t
want it to take up very much space. Computer hard drives
only come with a limited amount of space, much like our
human brains. This means that memory space is precious.
We can’t be wasting it with every whimsical thought that
pops into our heads. The memories we do choose to save
have to be important. That’s not to say that our childhood
memories aren’t very important, but they certainly won’t be
prioritized over something like your route to work, or
remembering your family members’ names. When your brain
starts to find it’s running low on resources, so to speak, it will
start to compress information. This is often done with
information that you likely won’t need to remember very
frequently or at least information your brain doesn’t think
you’ll need to recall very frequently.
This compressing of information is essentially the key to
unlimited memory. When a “file”, or in our brain’s case,
memory, is too large or unimportant, it gets compressed.
This helps to massively increase the productivity of our
brains. It makes them more efficient by not being bogged
down by all the unnecessary information floating around. It
also allows us to store significantly more information. If your
brain compressed all of the files it didn’t actively use in day
to day life it could potentially be thought of as infinite
storage space.
The way that would work is by compressing everything your
brain and body don’t need to function. You’ll remember
everything you need to get through your day. Work schedule,
peoples’ names, how to shower, dress yourself, all the
important stuff is still there. The only things that are locked
away are those superfluous memories like you’re twelfth
birthday, or how to do quadratic equations. (Unless for
whatever reason you may need to do those on a daily basis!)
The point is, you’d only subconsciously remember the things
that were necessary for your daily routine. You would still be
able to access those older memories, they’d just take a little
more work.
To continue the computer metaphor, the act of unzipping
those compressed memories would take a little longer than if
they were just readily available. It’s a matter of
reconstructing the original memory piece by piece.
Essentially, compressed memories, or files, are like jigsaw
puzzles. When they’re put together they create one large,
cohesive picture, but each piece on its own doesn’t make
nearly as much sense. You need each of the pieces to fall
into their specific places for the entire memory to become
whole again. Each piece plays a necessary role in creating
one cohesive picture, or memory.
Each individual puzzle piece in this scenario could represent
a smaller memory. Say it’s a smell, or the color of a shirt that
somebody is wearing, or something small like that. On their
own, they give you a small detail but don’t really mean
much. If you are able to find the right pattern though and
can put them together just so, they will make a much larger
memory.
On top of all this, there are two types of compressed files.
Those two types are lossy compression and lossless
compression. Lossy sounds a little bit silly, but lossless is
pretty straightforward. With lossless compression, you
compress a file down without losing any of the data. It’s a
little bit larger than its alternative, but still considerably
smaller than a non-compressed version. When using lossy
compression you are essentially getting rid of all the
nonessential parts of the file. You only keep what is
absolutely necessary when you are compressing files in the
lossy compression format.
That doesn’t make much sense. How do you make a
complete puzzle when you throw out half of the pieces
because they aren’t important? Well, that’s your answer.
They weren’t very important, so the details don’t have to be
exact. When you are decompressing a file (or memory) that
was compressed in the lossy format you are more or less
approximating all of the details. When you rebuild the
memory it’s just the best guess as to what the full thing
would have been like. It isn’t an exact replica, but it’s close
enough that no harm was done. The major perk of this is that
the files are quite a bit smaller but sometimes less accurate.
So, comparing the two type. One type is a more accurate
representation of the memory but isn’t quite as effective
when compressing. This leads to a more rounded memory,
but kind of defeats the entire point of compressing the
memory in the first place. The other type shirks all those
pesky details and gets down to the bare bones basics it has
to have. Then, when it’s time comes, it relies on a good
approximation to get it back to its full form. This is the type
of compression we’ll focus. Losing a little bit of data is
tolerable in this instance because it meets the purpose of
unlocking the potential for unlimited memory.
How exactly does this work for brains though? Good
question. I’ll explain that now. If you were to aspire to have
an unlimited amount of memory then you would have to
come to terms with the fact that you aren’t going to
remember everything in exact detail. And that’s ok! This
entire theory revolves around using sound logic, reasoning,
and past experiences to rebuild memories.
To give an example for this to make sense I’ll use the twelfth
birthday you read about earlier. There is no good logical
reason for any person to have to remember their twelfth
birthday. That said, if you wanted to and you were using this
method of memory compression, here’s what it would take. If
you were to attempt to recall what your birthday was like at
the time you’d only have a few things to work with. You
wouldn’t have the entire guest list, the exact number of
presents you received, what those presents were, how much
cake you ate, or anything like that. What you will have are a
few solid facts and some sound reasoning at your disposal to
extrapolate more information with from there. You’ll likely
remember where you had your birthday party, what sort of
interests you had at that age, and who your friends might
have been. That’s a solid foundation to build on.
So, you know where you had your birthday. You also know
yourself well enough to infer what flavor of cake you may
have had. Continuing, although you didn’t remember an
exact guest list, you probably knew the types of people you
hung out with and you can assume that family members
were invited. Along those same lines, you know the types of
hobbies and interests that you had around that age, so you
can have a rough estimate of the types of gifts that were
given to you. By just using the knowledge you had and some
sound logic, you were able to recreate a pretty accurate
memory of your twelfth birthday. You just went from knowing
very little about the event to painting a pretty vivid scene of
how it went down.
That’s the beauty of compressing memory. It allows you to
store so much more information without technically losing
any in return. By using your experiences and what you
already know about yourself and the world you will be able
to rebuild and recreate any memory you may have had using
only a few details. Sure, it may not be an exact
representation, but as you have read in previous chapters,
memories are fluid and end up changing over time anyway.
You may as well remember more information with a few
minor details altered rather than cling to a smaller memory
bank that will fade and change over time anyway.
Chapter 8: The Major System
 
The mnemonic major system is very similar to the
method of loci in that it associates a thought or image to
what you are trying to remember. This is just another
memory trick that is predominantly used to help memorize
numbers. The idea behind the major system is to associate
numbers with different phonetic sounds or maybe images.
The idea is that it will be easier to remember the sounds
and, once you are good enough, the words that you will be
able to create with a short string of numbers.
This method goes back hundreds to potentially thousands of
years ago. First, you assign a number a phonetic sound. Then
you use those phonetic sounds to create words. Once you
have that word you can easily visualize whatever image
comes to mind from that word. Boom! In just three very
simple steps you have gone from looking at a string of
difficult to memorize numbers to thinking of that particular
set of numbers as an image. And since images or stories are
so much easier for us to remember than a long, boring string
of numbers this is a very effective method for memorizing
said a long and boring string of numbers.
Much like the memory palace, there are several
different ways this can be done. There are multiple accepted
methods and quite a few official ways to assign letters or
sounds to numbers. Like the memory palace though, it
ultimately doesn’t really matter how you go about it as long
as it makes sense to you in the end. After all, you are going
to be the only one that ends up using your particular
method. What works for you might not work for somebody
else.
Much like the method of loci, the major system is a very
personalized way of memorizing something. Oftentimes they
can be used in tandem as well. That’s the beauty of these
memory hacks. They aren’t often mutually exclusive. A lot of
times they rely on one another to be as effective as they can
be. And being affluent with one memory system makes you
much more susceptible to learning another way of
memorizing things when utilizing a new method.
Some of the advantages to utilizing this method aren’t
nearly as obvious as remembering other things since this is
mostly limited to numbers, but that doesn’t mean there
aren’t still advantages. The most obvious one, or at least the
most practical, is the ability to remember phone numbers
with ease. Considering most people these days rely on their
smartphones to even find a phone number it will already be
a novelty to remember a few phone numbers, much less
everyone that you wish to remember.
Once you’ve got the major system down memorizing new
strings of numbers is a cinch. It’s literally just a matter of
coming up with a word or short story that relates to the
numbers you’re trying to remember. Again, you do this by
relating the numbers to a phonetic sound, using those
sounds to create a word, and associating those words with
an easy to remember the image. Are you starting to see how
all of these methods intertwine? There is a lot of overlap
between the different memory methods.
As far as practical uses in your everyday life, we’ll use the
credit card example again. We’ll use the same number as
before. A completely randomized 16 digit number I got from
a number generator to simulate my credit card number. That
number is 6264-7992-9542-8862.
If I were to use the major system to memorize this number I
would start by looking at each number individually. I’d then
look at the phonetic sound it should be assigned and assign
it that sound. Once I did this for all 16 digits I would attempt
to group them together in a way to made some sort of short,
coherent phrase. This is where it gets difficult for newcomers
to the major system. The entire point of doing this is to help
you memorize the numbers, but you can’t do that if you
aren’t able to associate a simple word or phrase to your list
of numbers.
To reiterate, using this system is very similar to using the
method of loci. It relies strongly on your working memory
and spatial memory, especially when you start dealing with
long strings of numbers. This is the method that is used by
memory champions who memorize thousands of digits of pi
for whatever unknown reason. They are so adept at this
method that they are able to see a set of numbers and
automatically associate them with their given sounds. This
allows them to create short stories on the fly using nothing
but the numbers in front of them. This, in turn, allows them
to very easily memorize any set of numbers in the time it
takes them to recite their story.
You’ve read about how to remember just about anything by
using your spatial memory in the memory palace. You just
read a chapter on how to memorize any string of numbers by
converting them into sounds, converting those sounds to
words, and those words to pictures. Now it’s time to learn
about a method that is predominantly used to memorize a
large amount of material at once. It’s generally used when
trying to learn another language. This method is called the
spaced repetition method.
Chapter 9: Spaced Repetition
 
Spaced repetition is yet another form of memory
training that is used primarily when trying to memorize a
large quantity of information at once. The main ideology of
spaced repetition is increasing the intervals of time between
previously learned materials in order to maximize the effect
of psychological spacing. Basically, what this means is that
you learn something and then move on. One interval later,
you are reintroduced to what you previously learned. This
cycle continues with the intervals routinely getting further
apart. Each time you are reintroduced to a previously
learned material it is always at the time that you need it
most.
For example, if you were studying for a vocabulary test and
needed to learn terms and definitions this would be very
useful. The way you would go about doing this would be to
go over all of the information. A few minutes after you
studied all of the information, you would do it all again. Then
you’d repeat this, but you’d wait a little bit longer. You’d
continue this cycle several times until you felt confident in
the material. The amount of time you wait between each
cycle isn’t quite as important as the fact that you do wait. At
least, it isn’t as important in this situation.
Another amazing way for you to use spaced repetition to
your advantage is when learning a language. If you combine
this with some of the technology that is available these days
you will breeze through learning a new language. There are
apps specifically designed to capitalize on the spaced
repetition method. Basically, you start to learn a language.
The app teaches you some basic phrases and words and
continues to reintroduce them to you at set intervals when
you’re most likely to have forgotten them.
The forgetting curve is the reason that spaced repetition is
effective. Following the curve, it’s how you gradually start to
forget something that you’ve learned until you no longer
remember anything about it at all. The rate of decay is
affected by many different factors. The difficulty of the
material being learned, how well it was presented, how
meaningful it is to the student, and factors such as stress
and amount of sleep all affect how quickly a subject will be
forgotten. Spaced repetition directly combats the forgetting
curve by keeping the material fresh in your mind.
This method of learning goes hand in hand with the spacing
effect that is studied in psychology. The spacing effect states
that it is more effective to study over a longer period of time
rather than cramming that same amount of information into
a shorter period of time. This means that it is more effective
to study a little bit each night rather than once for a long
period of time the night before a test.
The material is much more likely to be retained when it is
learned over a longer period of time. Thinking about this
logically, it only makes sense. If you were to study a little bit
each night over the course of several days you are highly
likely to remember a large percentage of what you studied
each night; however, if you were to only study one night per
week for several hours at a time, you are not very likely to
be able to retain much of that information months after
taking the exam.
There are several checkpoints that will be reached on the
forgetting curve. After one day roughly 54% of information is
remembered. After seven days only 35%; 14 days leaves us
with 21%; 21 days gives us 18%; 28 days and we have 19%
remembered, and finally, after 63 days we only remember
17% of what we learned. So, logically thinking, these are the
days that you will want to be reintroduced to material that
you have learned to commit it to long-term memory. This will
mostly be utilized by those who are learning a language.
That’s one of the few times this will be applicable. That’s
mostly because that is one of the few materials that people
try to learn and actually stick with for such a long period of
time. Each time you learn something new in that language
you will want to be reintroduced to it at one day, seven days,
14 days, 21 days, 28 days, and 63 days.
It has been proven that studying material over a longer
period of time is a better way to learn and cramming for a
test is inefficient. Therefore if you have a test that you need
to study for you need to do it over the course of the week
leading up to it. Studying each night for approximately 45
minutes per night will be considerably more beneficial to you
than not doing anything at all and then suddenly, the night
before, attempting to cram 4 hours of studying and stressing
into one session.
To summarize, this is a very good method for memorizing a
massive amount of information in a stress-free manner. By
studying in shorter bursts several times a week and
continuing to reintroduce yourself to old material to keep it
fresh in your mind you will be more likely to retain the
information you have learned. Following these study habits
will lead to better information retention and a more stress-
free life. Cutting out the several hour long sessions of
cramming information all at once will do a lot of good. Not
only will you be better prepared, but you will be less stressed
by cramming, thus helping you perform even better on a
test.
The two main things to keep in mind when going forward are
the forgetting curve and the specific days to reintroduce
yourself to old material. If you are able to keep these in mind
you will be on your way to mastering whatever it is you’re
trying to learn in no time!
By now you should be able to see that each type of memory
we have talked about so far will be used here. Not only that,
but there is even opportunity to use the other memory
devices here as well. Long term memory is the easiest to
spot. The entire point goal of this study style is to commit
something to long term memory. You do this by continually
reintroducing yourself to it over the course of the forgetting
curve at those certain dates where you are likely to forget a
little bit more. Short-term and working memory are obviously
used when actually studying. You have to process the
information you are going over.
As far as the other memory devices go, they could be used
to study. The memory palace would probably be your most
likely bet unless, for some odd reason, you needed to
memorize a bunch of numbers. With the memory palace, you
could place objects or create entire rooms catering to your
studying needs. If you were studying history, you could
literally create a historically accurate room inside your
memory palace that would help you remember what you
need to know. As you can surely see by now, the memory
palace is a real powerhouse as far as remembering things
goes. If that’s just not your thing though, you can always use
simple association. Say you’re studying terms and
definitions, but you are having a difficult time. You can assign
the term and the definition something that stands out a lot
more and go together very well. Something along the lines of
peanut butter and jelly would work incredibly well. It may not
make a lot of sense, but as soon as you see it on the test
you’ll know what term to match to the definition.
 
Conclusion
 
So now you know the most important secrets behind
developing a powerful memory! We have discussed many
different aspects of memory including the main reasons to
train your memory, how memory is undervalued in modern
day society and different methods for memorizing large
amounts of data at once. We have discussed several key
methods to expand your mind, including the secret to
unlocking the potential for unlimited memory through the
power of compressing information. On top of that, we have
learned about the most efficient studying methods there are,
including the memory palace technique. Now all you’ve got
to do is apply the skills that you will learn throughout the
course of this guide, and you will be well on your way to a
more fulfilling way of organizing not just information, but
your life experiences!
Developing your memory can improve your quality of life
well into your old age, and there are many advantages to
developing your memory. These include being more being a
more rounded and overall successful person in the world of
business, having more efficient and healthier study habits as
a student, and being able to remember long strings of
numbers, such as credit cards or phone numbers with ease,
making your daily life less stressful.
In this book, we have delved into the science of
memory, including the three main types of memory: short
term memory, long term memory, and working memory. We
have learned how association plays a huge role in in our
memory, and how it is one of the most useful tactics your
brain has for remembering details. We have also learned how
important spatial memory is, and why it is the key to a sharp
memory. Spatial memory is essentially the brain’s mapping
system. It’s how you’re able to navigate your surroundings
and locate objects within them. It’s also related to very
important parts of the brain that affect of parts of your
memory. The understanding of spatial memory allowed us to
learn about the memory palace, also known as the method
of loci. This is a very popular method for memorizing vast
quantities of information. It’s especially popular among the
competitive memorizing crowd. This is arguably one of the
most useful memorization tactics, mostly because it is so
versatile. Most of the other memory devices are based on
this one in some way, shape, or form.
Also important is retaining information after it has been
committed to short term memory. We discussed the
importance of compressing information, and how the brain is
analogous to a computer. Much like a computer, the key to
storing more information is by compressing that information.
We learned that one of the most efficient ways of
studying and retaining all of the information you take in is
the method is known as spaced repetition. Here we learned
how to use several rounds of studying and reintroduction to
older topics to keep information fresh in your mind. This
helps to directly battle the adverse effects of the forgetting
curve. You’ll learn once and for all that cramming the night
before a test is a no go! It’s always better to study for
shorter amounts of time several times a week.
I’d also like to take the time to thank you for reading this
book. Hopefully, you will enjoy reading this book and have
learned how to incorporate memory techniques into your
daily life, whether it be for studying for an important exam,
or taking steps to improving long term memory in general!
  
 

Focus
 
Hack Your Productivity for
Massive Success
 
 
 
Table of Contents
 
Introduction
Chapter 1: What is Focus?
Chapter 2: How Long is Your Attention Span?
Chapter 3: Optimize Your Goals
Chapter 4: How to Eliminate Distractions Effectively
Chapter 5: Get in the Zone
Chapter 6: Strategic Downtime
Chapter 7: Left Brain, Right Brain, Left Brain
Chapter 8: Using a Timer and Other Techniques
Chapter 9: Circadian Rhythms
Chapter 10: Meditation
Chapter 11: Fasting
Chapter 12: Sleep!
Conclusion
Introduction
“Focus is a matter of deciding what things you’re not going
to do.”
-John Carmack, Innovator and Engineer
 
It seems simple, but being able to focus is a skill that cannot
be underestimated. The ability to prioritize, the ability to
persist in the face of challenges, and the ability to let go of
distractions are all contingent upon how strong your focus is.
Many successful inventors and entrepreneurs will tell you
how important this one skill can become in determining your
success, no matter what your goal may be.
In today’s hectic society, however, we are used to allowing
distractions such as TV and Internet get the better of our
attention. It’s no wonder when we are being bombarded
constantly with notifications, messages, emails and
reminders. In the Age of Communication, we face a spectrum
of accountability that can demand, and even mercilessly
consume all of our mental energy if we are not careful. The
good news is, that if you can hone this one ability, your focus
alone will provide you with a great advantage in any
profession or academic endeavor. While other people are
allowing themselves to be distracted, you will be able to
surpass expectations, get more done in less time, and reap
the rewards. But it all starts with knowing how to hone your
mental clarity.
In this book, we will discuss some of the most powerful
productivity hacks that can help you relearn focus. For
instance, you will learn how to optimize your goal setting
strategy, so you always have one long term (reward-
motivating goal) and one short term (task-oriented goal) at
all times, so you will not want to opt for the fleeting rewards
of short term distractions. We will also be discussing habits
that have been proved to have massive impact on your
ability to focus. Meditation, of course, can also be a hugely
advantageous practice, but we will also be discussing the
importance of restful sleep and even how fasting can boost
your mental clarity.
This book will teach you to relearn how to focus your
attention and re-evaluate how to use your mental energy
both wisely and effectively; how to turn off distractions, and
even say no to communications sometimes; how to
prioritize, and to develop the mental acuity to follow through
on our goals. All of these things can be easily done if we
simply relearn the skill of powerful focus!
Chapter 1: What is Focus?
 
Basically, focus is simply a skill that will allow you to begin
on a task, without procrastinating, and then maintain
attention and effort until the task is complete. Focus can
help you to pay attention to a task, even if there happens to
be setbacks and distractions that are in the way. When you
are really focused, you will have no problem getting started
on that big project right away and no matter how many
setbacks or distractions present themselves, you are going
to sustain the energy and the effort that is needed in order
to reach the goal of finishing that task or project.
 
For example, if you have a big report to do at work, you
would be demonstrating focus if you got to work and started
writing the report, not allowing yourself to get distracted
until it was completely finished. You won’t let other things,
such as the Internet, friends, or television get in the way of
completing your work, and you would not even let other
projects or other thoughts get in the way of your goal.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could always do that with ease?
 
There are many ways that you are able to help increase your
focus, and in this book we will spend some time talking
about the different methods that you can use in order to
increase this focus in no time. For those who have trouble
concentrating at work or who let other things get in the way
of finishing up a task, you are probably ready to get some
greater focus in your own personal life.
 
It is common to have a lot of trouble with focusing on just
one thing. With social media, multitasking, and people
always trying to get our attention all the time, it is hard to
learn how to pick up a task and just focus on that for a bit.
But all of this noise and trying to do more than one thing at a
time can be hard on the mind and we are going to get less
done than before, even if we think we are ‘multitasking.’
Learning how to focus on just one topic, without letting
distractions or other tasks get in the way, is one of the most
efficient ways to get things done quickly during the day.
 
All of us can benefit from learning how to add some more
focus into our lives. It is a simple idea, but when we are
trying to multitask and get many things done at once, it
becomes harder than ever to learn how to put our attention
to just one thing in front of us. The good news is that with
some practice and some hard work, we are able to gain that
focus and get things done.
 
Advantages of Improving Your Focus
All of us want to get through the day with more focus. We
realize that this allows us to get more done through the day
because we can stay on topic and our minds are not as likely
to wonder as they may have been in the past. But all of us
also have those days when we go into work and we are just
not able to focus on anything that is in front of us. We may
be too tired, working against the rhythms of our body, or
doing something else that makes it hard to get in the right
amount of focus.
There are so many benefits that we are able to receive when
we start to work on our focus and try to improve it as much
as possible. Some of the biggest advantages that you will
notice include:
Get more done
People who have more focus are the ones who are able to
get more done during the day. They sit down at their desks
and get a ton of stuff done while the rest of us wonder what
we are doing wrong while we doodle, check emails, look at
social media, or just have our minds wander off all the time.
Focus can be really hard to learn, but when you practice
making it a part of your work life, you can get so much more
done during the day!
Builds momentum
When we are able to improve our focus, we are able to also
increase our effectiveness, which will help us to make more
and even faster progress. This can be really motivational to
most people. When we notice how much we are able to get
done in a short amount of time, it is going to encourage us to
work harder so that we can see even more results. As soon
as we get more focus and more productivity, we are able to
build up a new momentum and the ball starts rolling. In no
time we are getting more and more focus and seeing more
results in the process.
Reduces stress
When we have trouble with our focus and we aren’t able to
concentrate on the tasks at hand, it is easy to become
overwhelmed because there is too much to get done in a
short amount of time. For the most part, it is not that there is
too much to get done, it may instead be that we do not know
where we are supposed to get started, or we aren’t able to
get enough focus to get the work going, and this can
become stressful. As we are able to increase our focus and
understanding, we are able to handle the projects that are
coming at us without feeling so stressed out. We are able to
see what needs to get done and we can also see that while
we work, we are making some good progress. On the other
hand, when we have the wrong focus going on, we can keep
on working, but the efforts are going nowhere, leading us to
more stress, demotivation, and frustration.
Increases engagement
You will find that there is nothing that is more frustrating
than working for a boss or a company that doesn’t have an
idea of where they are going. People are not really afraid of
hard work, they are more afraid of failure. This means that if
you are not able to articulate the goals that you want to
reach and how they should be achieved, it is difficult to get a
team to engage. Everyone wants to be on the winning team
and when a business or a company is able to get their focus
right, or you are able to do this for your own personal goals,
you are going to start seeing more progress, as well as more
excitement and engagement in the process.
Focus is an integral part of getting things done during the
day. Without focus, you are going to end up wasting a lot of
the day and not getting the tasks done that you really
should. On the other hand, when you learn how to increase
your focus, you are able to get things done quickly and
without all that wasted time, which can be an efficient way
to keep up at work!
 
Chapter 2: How Long is Your Attention
Span?
 
One of the biggest determinants of how much focus you
have includes your attention span. The attention span is the
amount of time that you are able to spend on a task without
having to worry about distractions or losing your focus. If you
want to reach your goals and get things done, you need to
have a fairly long attention span so that you can keep up the
concentration.
All of us have different types of attention spans. Some
people are able to focus on a task for a long time, getting
started with a task and spending hours on it until that task is
done. Others have very short attention spans, getting
distracted by everything as they try to get their tasks done.
Most people are going to be somewhere in between, having
a pretty good attention span but troubles on some days
while being better focused on other days. Understanding
where your attention span is right now will help you to see
where your focus is and what you need to do to make it
better.
When we are considering the average attention span of each
person, age is often a big factor with this. From babies to
children and then adults, the attention span of the person is
often going to grow when they get older. For example, when
you are a child, your attention span is often much less than
that of an adult and you are going to flit from one task to
another in just a few minutes while an adult can usually sit
down and finish a task if motivated.
In our modern times though, it seems that our attention
spans are getting smaller and smaller. We are used to being
fed something entertaining, seeing constant news come up
in front of us all the time, and the constant distractions that
are going to pull our attention in different directions, it is
easy to see that our attention span is getting lower and
lower. This is a horrible thing to have to happen because it
makes it almost impossible for us to get the work done that
we need.
So the first step to working on your focus is to figure out
what your attention span is. For this, sit down and grab
something to read or something to work on, and a timer. Set
the timer and then start to work on the project or the
reading. When you look up to check your phone, check the
timer, to answer questions from kids, to check emails, or to
do something that takes away your attention from the work,
you should stop the timer. Do this a few times, and you
should get some good information on how long your
attention span is.
If you are like most people, you will probably notice that the
attention span is pretty low. You may have made it for a few
minutes the first few times, but as time goes on and you
think of other things that you need to check or get done,
your attention span is going to get shorter and shorter. If you
start out with an already short attention span when you
show u to do the project or the work, you will find that this
spells disaster if you are actually trying to get things done
during the day.
How to increase your attention span
If you have checked your attention span and you are worried
that you are not able to concentrate on the work that you
need to get done for a very long period of time it is time to
work on making this better. There are some simple tips that
you are able to follow in order to increase your attention
span and get more done during the day. Some of the simple
things that you can do to increase your attention span
include:
● Get exercise: it has been shown that some physical
activity during the day can help you to improve your
attention and focus because it is capable of releasing
chemicals in the brain for memory and learning. It can
even be better than drinking a cup of coffee in the
morning. If you are having trouble focusing, take a few
minutes to do a quick workout, and you will be
impressed by the short term boost to your cognitive and
mental performance.
● Drink more: according to The Journal of Nutrition, a
little dehydration can make you lose attention. If you
are feeling just a little bit thirsty while you are getting
work done, take a break and grab a quick drink.
● Get rid of the distractions: distractions are one of the
biggest reasons that we are not able to focus on one
thing at a time or why we lose our concentration. When
we see a new email come up on the screen, we notice
that there is a new update on social media or a new text
that comes in on the phone, we are more likely to
answer them rather than ignore it until later. If you
would like to get things done, get rid of those
distractions so that you can focus on the important
things, and then you can check on those distractions
later. Setting specific times everyday to check you
email, rather than constantly checking messages
throughout the day, has proven to increase focus and
productivity.
● Work on one thing at a time: too many times we are
trying to work on more than one thing at a time. We
want to try to finish two or three projects at a time, but
this usually ends up with us wasting time and not
getting anything done. While our world values
multitasking, this is a very inefficient way to get work
done. If you want to work on increasing your attention
span, you need to learn how to take one task and work
on it until things are done, rather than trying to finish
more than one thing at a time.
● Learn when to take breaks: if you focus too long on
one topic, the mind is going to get tired and start to
wander off. You should make sure that you take a few
little breaks during the day to ensure that you are
getting stuff done without wearing out the brain too
much. Working for about 25 minutes or so, and then
taking a short break, can increase productivity. Once
that break time is up, go right back to work and get your
focus going again.
Increasing your attention span is important if you want to get
your tasks done at the end of the day. Those with little to no
attention spans are the ones who can sit and work all day
without really getting anything done. But those who have a
longer attention span are the ones who are able to sit down
and get their work done in no time at all. When you learn
how to increase your focus and get that attention span to go
longer and longer, you can join this latter group and get
more done, even in less time!
Chapter 3: Optimize Your Goals
 
Goals are an important part of our lives and if you want to
make sure that you are getting somewhere, you need to
have them in place and know what you intend to do with
your time. If you are missing out on having any goals in
place, you are basically just allowing distractions to take
control of your attention, never improving on what will
happen to you in the future. The good news is there are quite
a few different goals that you can pick from. For example, if
you want to increase your focus to get more done, you
already have a goal in mind and you just need to
strategically make the plan to have this happen.
 
When it comes to setting goals, there are two types that you
are able to set; the big goals and the smaller goals. The big
goals are the ones that you get you motivated towards
achieving the things that you really want to get in life. For
example, the big goal could be to gain more focus in your
daily life. But, the small goals are the steps that you are
going to take in order to get more focus. Are you going to
learn how to get rid of distractions first, and then use a timer
method to keep focus, then get better sleep at night, and so
on? The big goals are the ultimate ones, the ones that you
really want to reach, but the smaller goals are the ones that
you will cross off the list and will help you to reach the
ultimate goal, so they are there to help keep you on track.
Too often, we allow ourselves to get distracted because the
distractions offer immediate rewards. For example, watching
TV or talking to a friend on the phone is immediately
gratifying; however it will not help us get further towards our
larger ambitions.
 
Keeping two goals in mind at all times, a long term rewards-
based goal, and a short term task-oriented goal will help
keep the tempting distractions at bay because we will be
keeping the big reward always at the center of our attention.
Try this technique out the next time you need to accomplish
a difficult task. What is the long term reward? What are the
action steps you can take right now to reach your goal? Keep
a list of action oriented tasks that you can check off, one by
one.
 
Setting goals do not have to be difficult, you just need to
know where to start. Another method that you can use in
order to set up goals for better focus includes the SMART
goal approach.
 
Use the SMART goal approach
 
When you are picking out your goals, you will want to make
sure that they are:
 
● Specific: writing out specific objectives will help you
to easily identify what you want to accomplish.
● Measurable: if you aren’t able to measure a goal, how
are you supposed to know if you have made any
progress?
 ● Attainable: your goal needs to be something that you
personally can attain. It doesn’t matter if someone else
is able to attain it, it matters whether you will be able to
attain it.
● Relevant; the goal needs to have some meaning to
you, otherwise you won’t keep working at it.
● Time-bound: you must have a deadline with your
goal. Otherwise, it is basically a dream that you can't
turn into reality. This can also help to bring more
commitment to the mix as well.
 
Write the goals down
 
Studies have shown that people who wrote down their goals,
and added some actionable commitments to these goals,
were 76 percent more likely to accomplish them, compared
to those who didn’t do this step where only 43 percent were
successful. When you write down your goals on paper, they
become more tangible and you are more likely to pursue
them, rather than letting them just be a dream inside of your
head.
 
Take the big goals and make them smaller goals
 
While it is great to have a big goal in mind, it can be
disheartening when you don’t see results because you
haven’t reached that big goal yet. When you take that big
goal and break it into some smaller goals, you have an
actionable plan that you can actually see the results. When
one of the smaller goals is completed, you can cross it off
and then work on the next smaller goal. Keep on doing this
and it won’t take long until you have reached the end. It is
much easier to stay motivated to your goals when you can
see the progress and when you understand how much you
have accomplished with the little goals, rather than trying to
tackle the big goal all at once.
 
Make an action plan
 
You need to have some kind of action plan if you want to
reach success with your goals. Just writing them down is a
good start, but it is not enough to help you reach the overall
goals that you want. While you are writing things down,
determine exactly what steps you are going to take in order
to see results in the end.
 
For example, you can start by writing down the big overall
goal that you would like to reach. What is the one thing that
you really want to be able to do? Write that down. Now it is
time to write down the smaller goals that you will want to
work on in order to accomplish this bigger goal. If you plan to
work on increasing your focus, you may make a goal of
getting more sleep at night, of trying some new time
management techniques and even adding in meditation.
Each bigger goal should have at least five or smaller goals
that go with it.
 
Once you have some of these smaller goals in place, it is
time to start working on the action plan. What steps are you
going to do in order to add more meditation to your life, for
example? Will you start doing meditation in the morning
right when you get up and get some guided tapes to help
you get started? Well, there is an action plan! Do this with all
of the smaller goals so that you have some concrete plans of
what you want to get done.
 
When the action plan is all set up you must make sure that
you actually follow through with it. You wasted a lot of time
and energy if you just wrote down some notes and never
follow through with them. To the best of your ability, you
should work hard in order to take this action plan and make
it a reality. And if you are able to do that, you will see a big
surge in your focus or a big jump ahead on any goal that you
are trying to reach.
 
Tell someone else
 
For some people, keeping your goals to yourself is not one of
the best plans of action. You are able to change dates on
yourself, change the rules, and do other things that sabotage
your success, and no one else knows about it. If this sounds
like you, it is time to tell someone your goals so that they
can help hold you accountable for the work you do.
 
Having someone else along can help you to stay focused on
your goals. The fear of disappointing this person or having
them say “I told you so” is often enough to spur most of us
on to be successful. Find a good friend, a co-worker, a
spouse, or someone else you can talk to about your goals
and see if they are willing to hold you accountable for
actually reaching the goals that you set.
 
Work on the goals in the morning
 
For most people, working on their goals right away in the
morning is the best plan of action. This allows you to get the
most done because your mind is still fresh and ready for a
good night of sleep. You are able to focus better, so
practicing your focus is going to be easier. Plus, when you
are able to do this right away in the morning, you can get it
done and out of the way without having to stress about the
work, or worry about it later. Any time that you have a goal
that can be done right away, make sure to do it as early in
the morning as possible.
 
Working on your goals is such an important part of helping
you to gain focus. These goals are going to tell you exactly
where your focus needs to be during the day and what you
need to work on each day. You can get up in the morning and
know exactly where all of that focus should be without
wasting time sorting it out or worrying that you have
forgotten something. Make sure to follow some of these easy
steps for planning out your goals, and see what a boost it
can give to your focus.
 
 
Chapter 4: How to Eliminate
Distractions Effectively
 
All of us have had those times when we need to get work
done, but there is something around to distract us. Our
phones, emails, social media accounts, and so much more
can get in the way and take our focus away from what we
truly need to work on during the day.
 
There are many common distractions that show up during
the day. We can get distracted by the emails that are coming
into our inbox all day long. We can start looking for social
media accounts and then spend hours there checking up on
friends and missing out on work. We may look at texts, talk
to friends, and do anything that keeps us away from doing
our work. It is important to learn what these distractions are
and how we respond to them so that we can shut them down
and get our focus back onto the work.
 
Common distractions to avoid
 
There are so many different distractions that you may need
to deal with during the day. Each time that these come up,
your focus is going to go to them, rather than the work that
you need to get done during the day. Learning how to get rid
of some of these distractions can make it easier to focus on
your work and get more done. Some of the most common
distractions that you will encounter in the workplace and
how to get rid of them include:
 
● Your cell phone: nothing is more distracting than
having your cell phone on you all the time and seeing
everything that comes up. Between updates about your
social media accounts, calls from numbers you probably
don’t know, and texts from friends, you will constantly
have your focus go elsewhere if you aren’t careful. The
best thing that you can do when you want to focus and
get work done is turn off the phone and leave it on the
other side of the room. You can always catch up on
news and your friends when work is done for the day.
● Feeling hungry or thirst: if you are trying to get work
done and notice that you are hungry or thirsty, it is
going to be hard to focus on anything else for the time
being. You should stop what you are doing and instead
focus on those two things. Have a little snack or take a
drink and then get back to work. Some people try to
ignore these feelings, but unless you are trying to fast
for the day, (which we will talk about later), this is not
the best way to go about things because your hunger
may serve as a distraction.
● Emails: you may think that you are being productive
with your emails, but these can be really distracting,
especially if you have lots of spam that shows up
throughout the day. You will find that every time an
email show sup on the screen, you will get distracted
and lose out on the focus that you need. Then, you will
loose time re-focusing on your task. Consider not even
turning on the email until you get close to lunchtime so
that you don’t waste time looking through them all
before you even get some work done. And through the
day, make sure that you keep the email off so you don’t
see the new emails that are coming in.
● Social media: Social media can be a huge drain on
your focus and attention. You may get on for just a
moment to check something, and then half an hour or
more has gone on and you are no further to starting
your work and getting things done. And the longer that
you are on social media, the more your motivation will
go down and the harder it is to start. If you are at work,
turn off the social media and don’t go on until you get
home at night. Your focus will be so much sharper if you
aren’t always worrying about what everyone is posting
on their social media accounts.
● People stopping by: if others are always stopping by
the office to talk or ask questions, it is hard to get into
the flow of things and actually get them done. You are
constantly stopping and looking up from your work and
maybe even searching through papers and files in the
hopes of getting the right answer. This can really slow
down all the work that you want to get done during the
day. If this is a common distraction for you, there are a
few steps that you can take. First, consider closing the
door and the blinds and make the office look like you
are not there. This makes it less likely that someone will
stop by and bother you. If this isn’t possible, let others
know that you are busy and that you will be available to
help them out at a later time.
 
Distractions are one of the worst things when it comes to
getting things done and maintaining your focus. They can
seem simple and like they are just taking a few minutes of
your time, but when you have a lot of these distractions
around you all the time, it becomes really hard to
concentrate and get all of the work done that you need.
Learn how to avoid some of these common distractions and
you will be amazed at how much more work you are able to
accomplish.
 
Chapter 5: Get in the Zone
 
Getting in the zone is one of the best things that you can do
for your focus and concentration. All of us have had those
days when we can just sit down to work and we get more
done than we can ever imagine. We zoom through those
reports, we work efficiently, and we feel so accomplished
when we are able to leave the office or workplace that day
because we know that all of the work is all done. It doesn’t
feel like a struggle to get it done and we don’t have to stay
late at all because we were in the zone.
 
Wouldn’t it be nice to have this happen every time that we
sat down to get work done? We could zip through the work
that we needed to finish with the right amount of focus.
Instead of working late, feeling distracted all the time, and
never being able to keep up with things, we could learn to sit
down and be in the zone no matter what we are working on.
 
When the mind is the main processor, your focus is going to
be like the computer screen. The mental focus that you put
towards a task is going to determine where you are able to
put your attention and your time. If you aren’t taking the
steps to actively control your focus, you are basically wasting
resources in the process. Unless you plan on relaxing, it is
best to learn to set your mental focus on something that is
worth your time.
 
Luckily, there are a few steps that you can take that will help
you to get into the zone when it comes to working. When you
follow these simple tasks, you are able to get things done at
a fast pace and you won't feel like you are racing against the
clock or out of luck at the end of the day. Some of the simple
steps that you can take to help you to get into the zone and
get more done during the day with better focus include:
 
Choose just one important task.
 
To get your mind to work the best, you need to learn how to
concentrate and focus on just one thing and nothing else. We
live in a world that values multitasking and being able to get
a ton of things done all at once, but this can exhaust the
brain and makes us lose focus faster than anything else.
When you are ready to get in the zone though, it is important
to just focus on one task and not worry about anything else
for a bit. You can come back to those other tasks later on,
but for now, it is best to just focus on the task that is most
important right here and now.
 
Avoid the distractions and create the right
environment.
 
When it comes to learning how to focus, distractions are
going to be your worst enemy. Distractions are going to be
anything that takes away your focus, things that ask for your
attention, but usually are not all that important. As was
mentioned, your phone, your social media accounts, and
your emails can all be examples of these. If you want to
make sure that you are getting the most out of your focus,
you need to make sure that there is no possibility that you
are going to be interrupted. This means that you will need to
set up your environment in a way that helps to keep you
from getting distracted.
 
There are several ways that you are able to do this. First,
close the doors and make sure that you have a low profile.
This will help prevent people from stopping by all the time
and interrupting your thoughts and your focus. Next, mute
the phone and turn off the radio and the television. If
someone needs to talk to you, you can get ahold of them
later on, and the television and radio are just providing noise
that will keep you away from the focus. You can even unplug
from the internet (if you are able to do this and still get your
work done) so that you don’t get tempted to surf around
online or look at your social media accounts and emails.
 
If you are continuously interrupted, you are going to find that
you will lose your focus. And this is going to result in you
losing your depth, and the ability to get into the flow.
Learning how to set up your office space so that it is quiet
and free from distractions is key if you want to get into the
zone and get the great results from it.
 
Attention and intensity
 
When you are ready, dive completely into the task that you
want to get done. In order to get into the zone, you need to
become totally focused on the task at hand. Adding in some
intensity is going to help create some of this depth as well.
So how do you get this intensity? First, you need to avoid
being distracted, which we talked about above. And then
second, you need to become more motivated about what
you are doing because this is going to bring in the intensity
more than anything else.
 
You should never have to fight to get into the zone. If you are
fighting with the work that needs to get done and you still
aren’t able to get into the zone in this manner, you are doing
it the wrong way. Intensity does not mean that you are going
to be fighting and forcing things to happen, it simply means
that you are trying to aim for a deeper understanding and
connection for your task.
 
Work on the task steadily for a period of time.
 
Getting into the zone is not something that is going to
happen in just an instant. It is something that is going to
take time and the longer you are able to work on a task
without interruption, the easier it is to get into this zone. In
order to fully get into the zone, you need to make sure that
your mind is focused on a task for a minimum of 25 to 30
minutes at a time. This is because you are more likely to
enter the zone at the moment when your feeling of time
starts to vanish and you are pretty much forgetting about
the time and the world around you.
 
Each person is going to have a different length of time that
they get into the flow. Some people just need 30 minutes of
intensity on their work to enter into the flow and others may
need to work for closer than an hour. In addition, some
people once they get into the zone are going to want to keep
working for a few hours in order to keep up the flow and get
as much done as possible. If you are someone who can get
into the flow and work for 2 or 3 hours without feeling tired
or running into a wall, keep going with it because this is a
great way to get things done. But when you need a break,
make sure to take one so that the brain and the body don’t
get too worn out.
 
Stay on your task until it is done.
 
Whether you are able to get into the flow and want to keep
working at your task, or you need to use a method like a
timer technique to break up the work into chunks with
breaks, make sure that you are staying on one task until it is
complete. It can be hard on your focus if you are jumping
from one topic to another because you may have left the
middle of one and started on a new one. Not only are you
confusing the brain with this skipping around, you may keep
reverting back to that first project and thinking about it
rather than getting the work at hand done.
 
If you find that one of the tasks is too big to finish in one go,
you should break it up into smaller parts. You can then work
on one part at a time, eventually putting them all together
until they fit well. When you keep working on one project, or
the little subtask that comes with a bigger project, you are
able to focus your attention better and this is going to help
out with the productivity that you want to get done. Try to do
this as much as possible, while adding in the time and the
intensity, and you are sure to get into the zone and see the
results that you want with your focus!
Getting into the zone is one of the best things that you can
do for your focus. It allows you to get going on a task and
then keep going without feeling tired or like you are plodding
along. All of us have been in the zone at some time or
another, but most of us had no idea that we were able to
control this and just thought it was random. Using the tips
above will help you to get into the zone any time that you
need to get more work done so that you can focus on the
right tasks and zip through that work!
 
Chapter 6: Strategic Downtime
 
Many people are under the wrong impression that if they
want to get more done during the day, they need to just sit
down at their desk in the morning and not move until the
end of the day. They assume that the more time they sit
down working, the more they are going to be able to get
done. This may sound good in theory, but in reality, it is one
of the least efficient ways to get the work done. In fact, it is
going to slow you down quite a bit and you are going to have
to work harder, and for longer hours, in order to get the work
all done.
 
When you spend all day working without taking breaks, you
end up losing your focus. It is a good thing to work long
enough to get into the ‘zone’, but keep in mind that the
attention and focus that the brain is giving to the task are
going to start dropping after extended periods of time
focusing on just one task. When the focus starts to drop, our
performance starts to drop as well. We all are used to this
feeling. We may show up to work in the morning, excited to
get a lot of things done and to keep moving on a big project.
We sit down to work, claiming that we will not get up until we
get the whole project done. We do well with it for some time,
making some good headway right away, but after an hour or
so, the energy levels starts to top off. The longer we sit there
working on the project without some relief of a break, the
harder it is to focus and keep going with the work.
 
The trick here is understanding that our bodies need a break.
Our brain is not able to spend hours working on a task
without ever taking a break to relax and feel better. Taking a
brief diversion, such as a quick stretch, can often increase
our ability to focus on a task for a long period of time, just as
long as we don’t allow distractions to get the better of us
before diving back into the work.
 
Like time, our energy levels are finite and we are not able to
sit down at one task all day long without getting any breaks.
But unlike time, we are able to renew our energy levels.
Taking some time off from the work, especially if we make
sure to schedule it in so we don't forget and we get it at
regular intervals, can seem a little bit counterintuitive for
most of us, but it actually increases our focus and therefore,
our productivity.
 
There is absolutely no way for us to perform at our highest
levels if we don't take some time to rest. Over really long
periods of working, which are common in many jobs today,
our brains are going to use up glucose and oxygen to help it
get its energy and keep on working. The brain will be able to
use enormous amounts of energy for how big it is, and
regardless of whether we are looking at memes online or
getting a lot of work done, the brain is going to use a ton of
energy.
 
So after working hard or for a long stretch of time, it is a
good idea to give the brain a break. Think of it this way, if we
went and ran a long distance or did a good hard workout,
wouldn’t we take a break to rest the muscles before going on
with the rest of our day, or at least take breaks in between
sets to help the muscles when weight lifting? The same
benefits can be applied to our brains when we are working.
 
Any time that you find that your productivity is lagging, you
may find that adding in more breaks, rather than trying to
push yourself to work harder, can be the best way to
increase your productivity. And the type of break that you
take will make a big difference as well. Scheduling your
breaks is great because these encourage you to get enough
of them into the day and ensures that you will not forget.
Some of the simple things that you can do to optimize your
breaks and help to increase your productivity and your focus
include:
 
● Get up and move: When you take your breaks, don’t
just sit in front of the screen for longer and eat an
unhealthy snack. Give your eyes a break and get up and
move. This helps you to take a quick break from the
work that you are doing. Plus when you move around,
instead of just sitting in front of the screen, you are
helping to clear the mind and get the blood flowing.
● Turn it into a social break: If you are able to, turn
this break this into a social break. You will find that
getting out and talking to a few coworkers can make
you feel better and more connected to your work and
help you clear the mind, and feel happier when you go
back to work. Try to structure some of your breaks
around this.
● Work in increments: We will discuss this a bit later,
but working for a bit, and then scheduling in a break
when that time period is up, is one of the most effective
ways to get work done. You will set a time, such as 25
minutes, and then work as hard as possible during that
time. When it is up, you get up and take a break, no
matter where you are in the project. Do a few of these
during the day, with regular breaks, and you will be
surprised at how much more effective you are at getting
things done.
● Maximize a nap: Napping has been shown to help
boost your mental alertness, your memory, and can
even increase your productivity and creativity. If you are
able to, take about a 30-minute nap to help increase
your energy. If you have some freedom, adding in a nap
that is 60 to 90 minutes is better because it has some
more benefits for your memory and your mental
capacity, but even a 30-minute nap will make a big
difference.
● Take mindful breaks: The breaks that are the most
effective are the ones that will be able to calm down the
mind. Things like yoga and meditation, or even just
deep breathing, will help you to get the most brain
renewal possible in the least amount of time. Try to
have a few breaks where you take in deep breathing to
help make a big difference in how you can attack the
work that needs to be done.
 
While most of us assume that we need to work non-stop in
order to get the growing pile of work done during the day,
this can be one of the least effective methods of helping you
to get work done and being productive. When you make sure
to work on having some break throughout the day, you will
find a big difference in what you are able to get done
because the brain needs these breaks to recharge!
Chapter 7: Left Brain, Right Brain,
Left Brain
Many of us are familiar with the idea that the different sides
of the brain help us to perform different tasks. The left brain
is responsible for critical thinking tasks, such as writing out
reports and doing math problems. We use this side quite a
bit in the workplace, especially when it comes to working on
some big projects, doing accounting, or other things each
day. On the other hand, the right brain is in charge of the
more creative tasks that we want to work on during the day.
This is the side that will help you with being creative, writing
creative stories, singing, drawing, and more.
When we are in the business world, we tend to use our left
brain most of the time. It is often overused, helping us to do
the tasks that are common in the workplace. But sometimes,
it is good to mix them around a bit to help out. Working just
one side of the brain all of the time can be boring and can
wear out the brain quickly. When we work with numbers all
day, for example, we will find that it is hard to keep
concentrating for the long term, and we may start to have
trouble focusing at all.
One trick that you are able to use is to start bringing in the
right brain to help, even when you are working on some of
these left brain activities. This may seem a little bit
counterintuitive when working on logical problems, but there
are a lot of great benefits that come with this option.
First, when you decide to work on some right brain activities,
it can give the left side of the brain a little bit of a break.
Sometimes the left brain just gets too tired after working all
day, those simple problems start to look complex and we
aren't able to figure out the problem. When we take a break
and work on the other side of the brain for a little bit, we will
rest the left brain. When we are done with the right brain
activity, we can come back to the problem at hand, and
often the answer is right in front of us.
In addition, when we force our brains to work in a different
way, such as doing something creatively rather than
critically all the time, we may learn how to look at the
problem in a new way. Sometimes we get too stuck working
on a problem in a critical manner, but we are missing out on
some obvious methods that can help us to solve it if only we
would allow the creative method to come in.
So how can we make this work? There are a few activities
that can be effective at helping you. For example, some
people who are stuck on solving a problem or coming up with
a solution will find that doodling or drawing on a piece of
paper can help them to refocus their energies and come up
with better answers than before. Other people may schedule
a little time into their day to do right brain activities, such as
painting, doing some creative writing, dancing, or something
else that is more creative. Even scheduling in half an hour of
reading, or getting it in when you are stuck on a solution, can
help you to get out of the rut and will improve your focus and
your memory.
Many people have the wrong idea when it comes to the right
brain. They think this is all about being creative and having
fun, while they think that the left brain is all that they need
to get their work done. But learning how to use the right
brain more, and adding it in with the left brain will help you
to get more work done, increases your focus and your
memory, and can help you to finish your work in new and
more efficient ways.
Chapter 8: Using a Timer and Other
Techniques
Are you someone who has a lot of trouble concentrating on
tasks that you need to get done? Or are you someone who
will start on a task and kind of mess around, eventually
looking at the clock and realizing that a lot of time has
passed and you are falling behind? Sometimes the method
that you are using to get the work done will make a big
determination on how successful you are and how well your
focus will work.
Most of us are not able to sit down for a full day and have an
intense focus for the whole time. We may have a day every
once in awhile that you can get a lot of focus, but most of us
will start to wander or have trouble working on one topic if
we have to do it for too long. This is why many people are
successful when they can split up their time and work in
small intervals at a time, taking breaks in between to give
the mind a rest before getting back to work. For example, it
is much easier to focus on a task for 20 minutes than it is to
focus on a task for five hours at a time.
The Pomodoro Technique, for instance, is a time
management tool invented by Francesco Cirillo in the late
1980s. It is a great method to use to get through distractions
because it helps you to get a lot of stuff done in short bursts
of time, with plenty of breaks to relax and recharge the
brain. If you are in a job that requires you to produce results,
this is one of the most effective methods to help you get
through the tasks and be more productive with your sharp
focus.
The Pomodoro Technique is pretty simple. When you are
faced with a series of tasks, or a large task, you should break
down all of the work into short intervals of about 25 minutes,
which are called ‘Pomodoros’. At the end of each of these
timed intervals, you will take a short break as well. This
works well because it will train the brain to focus for a short
period of time and then gives it a break so that you can keep
on top of deadlines or inboxes that are always staying full.
With time, you will find that it can be an effective method for
increasing your concentration and attention span.
Does this seem too simple? This timer technique is one of
the simplest productivity methods that you can implement
into your day and all you are going to need is a timer to help
you keep on moving. There are no special formulas and you
don’t need a lot of apps, tools, or books to make this happen.
Then you just need to follow these simple five steps to make
the Pomodoro Technique work for you:
● Choose what task you want to accomplish
● Turn on the timer, whichever you would like to use,
and set it for 25 minutes.
● Now grab the task and work on it the task for the full
25 minutes. Don’t stop and don’t worry about the time
at all. Marshal your mental energy to really focus on the
task at hand. The timer will ding when the time is up.
When the timer is done, place a check on the paper.
 ● Take a quick break. Usually, about five minutes is
enough in between these tasks.
● After you have done 4 of these short sessions, take a
longer break, maybe fifteen to thirty minutes to relax
and get ready for the next session.
If you are able to repeat this process two or three times
throughout the day, you are going to be amazed at how
much you are able to get done during the day. And while
others are going to be stuck at the desk all day and barely
getting anything done, you will have time to walk around a
bit, grab some coffee, and relax rather than being stressed
out too much.
Now one thing to remember with this is to note that you are
not supposed to divide up this unit of work at all. This means
that if you are distracted at all, with an emergency, a
meeting, or a co-worker, you will need to either end the
timed session and start a new one later, or you will have to
find a way to postpone the distraction until the time is up.
Some of your distractions are going to need your attention
right away, but honestly, most of them can wait until the end
of the 25 minutes for you to get back to them.
To make these even more effective, you may want to take a
few minutes in the morning writing down the tasks that you
need to get done in the day and dividing them up into
smaller parts. This helps you to go from one task to another
and can allow you to actually take your breaks, without
wasting time on figuring out what task you need to do next.
For most people, that 25 minutes is perfect for getting work
done. It is enough time to get some good work done and
make some good headway, but short enough that the brain
is not going to start wandering and causing you to lose
focus. And the fact that you are getting consistent breaks
throughout the day makes a big difference to your
motivation to keep going. For some people, you may find
that going for longer periods of time, such as 30 or 45
minutes is best for your attention span and for getting things
done, but try not to go above these times before giving your
brain a little rest. Having scheduled times of work and break
taking are important to helping you to stay on task while
resting in there as well.
The Pomodoro Technique is one of the best time
management techniques that you can use to increase your
focus and get more done. You just need a timer that can
keep track of 25 minutes, and you are set to go. Work as
hard as you can to get the work done during those 25
minutes, and then take a few minute break in there as well.
After a few hours, take a longer break to let the brain
recharge and you can get back to work after that time. At
the end of the day, you will finish two or three of these
sessions, and then you are able to finish your work faster
than ever while effectively enhancing your focusing skills.
Chapter 9: Circadian Rhythms
Do you get up during the day all ready to get to work and
see how much you are able to get done, but then find that it
is hard to focus and you end up getting nothing done at all?
This can be one of the most frustrating things in the world
when you really need to accomplish a lot of things. There is
some new research that suggests that paying attention to
your body clock, and how it affects your alertness and
energy, will help you to figure out what times during the day
are the best for helping us to think creatively, resolve
conflicts, and get more things done.
There are many different ways that we organize our times.
These can include social events, commuting, kids’ schedules,
workday demands and more, but we never stop to think
about how we should organize our time around the natural
rhythm of our body’s. All of these other things are often
going to clash with the circadian rhythms of waking and
sleeping and when we do finally get a chance to sit down to
get some work done, we are going to be disappointed by
how little we accomplish.
It may seem difficult to try and align our schedules with the
natural rhythms of our body, but there are a ton of health
benefits of doing this and it can dramatically increase our
efficiency. For example, if we disrupt our circadian rhythms,
we are increasing our risks of obesity, dementia, depression,
and even diabetes. When the body’s master clock can
synchronize the functioning of our behavioral,
cardiovascular, and metabolic rhythms in response to natural
stimuli, such as light, and it can really give you an edge in
your daily life.
So how can this work help us get more done during the day?
One example is doing cognitive work. For most adults, the
best time to do this cognitive work is in the late morning. As
the temperature of the body starts to rise just because we
awake in the morning and it continues to increase through
the day, the concentration, alertness, and working memory
are going to start improving. If you need to jumpstart this a
bit, you should consider taking a warm shower.
Our ability to concentrate and focus is going to start to slide
shortly after the midday. Most people will find that between
noon and 4:00 P.M. they are going to be easily distracted.
Alertness seems to take a nosedive after we eat a meal and
the peak for sleepiness is going to peak around 2:00 in the
evening. If you are able to, this is the perfect time to take a
good nap.
An interesting thing to note though is that this fatigue can
help to boost your creative powers. For most adults, if you
need to work on a problem that requires some open-ended
thinking, you should try to tackle it in the evening when you
are tired. Fatigue can work with this because it allows the
brain to wander a bit more freely than you would allow when
you are alert, and this can be a great way to explore some
alternative solutions to the issue.
Keep in mind that your body clock doesn’t have to work in
this way and each person is going to have a slightly different
internal clock. This can make it really difficult for you to
synchronize your natural rhythm with the plans that you
need to get done during the day. There are two distinctive
chronotypes that most people will match up with. The first
group is the morning people, the ones who tend to wake up
earlier in the day and then go to sleep earlier in the evening.
They are going to be the most productive during the
daytime. On the other hand, evening people are the ones
who will wake up later, tend to start out the day at a slower
pace, and then they will reach their peak in the evening and
do their best work at this time.
So what does this mean to your focus and helping you to get
more done during the day? When you are able to learn how
your circadian rhythms line up, you are better able to learn
when you can get the most work done. Let’s look at morning
people first. These are the individuals who get up earlier in
the day and they are more likely to get more work done right
in the morning. These ones would be the most efficient
during the day, and probably in the morning, shortly after
they wake up and this would be a good time for them to get
the work done. As they get further into the day, and closer to
the time that they usually go to sleep, they will start to lose
their efficiency because they get overly tired. These morning
people should concentrate their efforts on getting the work
done early in the morning and take a break at night.
On the other hand, the night time people would have a
horrible time getting a lot of work done in the morning. They
wake up late which throws them off to start with and they
often have trouble getting their minds up and running for a
bit after they wake up. But after midday and into the early
evening, their brains start to run a bit faster and they can
get things done in no time. These night people should avoid
doing too much work in the morning because they will lack
the right focus, but they can wait until later in the day and
get better results.
The trick here is to learn what your circadian rhythms are
and then use these to help you to get more work done. If you
notice that there is a certain time of day that you just can’t
focus and get things done, this is the time when you should
take a break or take a nap. If there is a certain time during
the day where you feel the most productive, make sure to
schedule that for getting work done so you can push things
through without wasting a lot of time.
When you learn how to read your own circadian rhythms,
you are going to be amazed at how much it can help you get
things done and increase your focus. Too many times we try
to fight against our bodies, staying up too late to get work
done, working through times when we are too tired, and
doing other things that slow us down and make things
difficult. Take the time to listen to your body and learn when
these rhythms are for you, and you are sure to see a big
difference in how much you can get done.
Chapter 10: Meditation
 
Meditation is one of the most helpful lifestyle habits that can
help make focus a permanent state of mind. Meditation has
also been used to help with a wide variety of health
concerns, such as stress and high blood pressure, in many
people. It can also be used on those who are having a hard
time with their focus and concentration. Focus is the ability
to be able to pay attention to just one thing and to do it well,
at the expense of the other projects, people, and concerns
that are going on around you. In a world where there are
always a million things going on around us and the idea of
multitasking is considered normal, it can be hard to imagine
that we need to focus on just one thing at a time, but it is
really important to learn how to focus and use our
concentration in the right way. Increasing your power of
focus can help to foster more creativity, will promote
problem-solving skills, and can even decrease your stress
levels because you don't have to worry about working on
more than one task at a time.
This sounds like a tall order for one activity to be able to
handle, but you would be surprised at how powerful
meditation can be. The process is pretty simple, but you do
need to give yourself some time to get used to the technique
and to learn how to not let your mind wander and get lost in
the process.
To start a meditation habit, you need to schedule about
fifteen to twenty minutes during your day for meditation. You
can consider doing it right away in the morning to help start
out the day or save it for the end of the day before going to
bed. You also need to pick a quiet and comfortable place,
where you are able to be alone for this time, with no
interruptions or distractions that will ruin the results. While it
may take some time to get going with meditation and to
learn how to do it without letting outside thoughts come in,
you will be able to see the benefits right away and your
focus will start to improve almost right away.
Meditation doesn’t have to be difficult to learn, but it will
take some practice and a bit of patience on your end to learn
how to do it and get your focus to behave. Some of the steps
that you can take when you are ready to start learning
meditation and getting it to help you focus more in your life
include:
Step 1: Listen to Your Breathing
One of the main points of meditation is to learn how to focus
on just one thing, while allowing the other thoughts to just
pass by, without any emotions attached to them. For
someone who has trouble getting their mind to just sit still
and not think about fifty topics at once, this is going to seem
a little bit daunting at first. One method that you can use to
help with this is to start taking deep and steady breaths and
learn how to just listen and concentrate on that breathing.
To do this, make sure that you sit in a way that is
comfortable on the body. You don't want to be distracted
during this time by physical pain or discomforts. When you
are ready, close your eyes and concentrate on listening to
your breath. Breathe in and out using your nose, but
otherwise, you shouldn't try to control the depth or the rate
of your breath. You want to make sure that the breathing is
as steady as possible, but don’t try to force it at this time.
When you are doing this process, you may notice that there
are some thoughts that try to crowd into the meditation.
When this happens, try to let them fade as you refocus your
energy on the breathing. Feel the air as it flows down the
throat, how your stomach feels as it expands, and just how
good it feels to take in this air. Try to stay in this state for a
few minutes at least, but when the other thoughts come in,
just gently try to make them fade into the background again.
It is going to be hard in the beginning, but over time, your
focus will get better and your concentration will stay on the
breathing and not on other thoughts.
Step 2: Don’t Move
When you first get started with meditation, you may notice
that you are a bit fidgety. Sitting still can be hard for you, but
if you move around a lot, you are going to put your attention
on your movements, rather than on the breathing, and that
defeats the purpose. You should make sure that you sit as
comfortably as you can, but if this is hard, we can make
some changes to help with this if you can't sit still. Rather
than focusing on your breathing, this time we are going to
focus on sitting still and not moving a single muscle.
As soon as you concentrate on not making a movement, you
will notice that your joints are protesting, your hairs will
tickle your face, and there are even itches all over the place.
Unless you notice that there is a pain that is above a regular
discomfort from sitting still, then don’t succumb to these
urges. The focus that it is going to require you to ignore the
discomforts of the body and sit still will help you to calm
your mind and over time, you will be able to increase your
ability to concentrate on one thing.
Step 3: Consider Using a Mantra
Once you have had some time getting comfortable with
sitting still during your meditation session and you learn to
just sit there and listen to your breathing for a longer period
of time without too much difficulty, it is time to add in a
mantra. This is basically a repeated syllable, or a word or
some kind of phrase, that is going to help you to focus.
During your session for meditation, make sure to repeat the
mantra over and over again.
To make it simple, we are going to start with a single syllable
of “OHM”. You should condition yourself to say this on the
exhale of each breath. When you try to inhale, you will notice
that there are tons of thoughts that are trying to rush into
the mind, and it will take some focus to help you to keep
your mind still so that you can concentrate on the syllable
again. This can help you to develop a better ability to keep
your concentration on one thing, even if you happen to have
some interruptions
Over time, you are going to get better at using meditation to
help you learn how to focus. You really only need to spend
about fifteen minutes a day on this, and within a few weeks,
your concentration and focus will be way better than before.
It seems like such a simple exercise, but once you get the
chance to try it out, you will notice that it does take a bit of
work and practice on your side. But if you are struggling with
your focus levels and want to get them back on track,
scheduling in a bit of meditation each day can make a world
of difference.
Chapter 11: Fasting
Fasting could be another method that you can use in order to
improve how well your brain functions and your focus. There
has been a lot of research that has shown how fasting is able
to ward off diseases that affect the functioning of the brain.
In fact, even if you don’t have an interest in gaining some
more muscle or losing weight, you may find that there are
some positive benefits of fasting on your brain. Fasting will
put a bit of stress on the brain cells, such as what happens to
the muscles when you do some exercise.
Your brain is actually able to become stronger over time and
it will grow a resistance to neurodegenerative diseases when
you fast. Fasting is able to enhance your focus, can bolster
your concentration, and will be great for improving your
neural circuitry.
There are many objections that start to come up when you
talk about fasting. Many people worry that it is really hard to
concentrate on a task at hand when they are hungry. In
some cases, this is true when you first start with a fast, but
the evidence shows that over the long run, this becomes
false. Individuals who are able to last through the fast and
can adapt to this lifestyle will find that their attention span,
focus, and concentration are much improved.
You can try out this technique by choosing one day a week to
fast, and foregoing meals for that day. Of course, if you have
any medical condition that would interfere with the
effectiveness of this technique, consult your doctor before
trying this method.
Regenerating the Brain
There is a lot of research that shows how fasting is able to
keep the brain healthy, and it is able to work in several
different ways. Some of the benefits that you will be able to
see with fasting and how it helps the brain includes:
● Fasting will help with autophagy: Autophagy is
basically the waste removal system in the brain. This
process is going to dispose of any damaged molecules,
many of which can be tied to neurological diseases in
the brain. Basically, this should be seen as the way the
brain will take out the trash, and if the process is not
working properly, this garbage is going to pile up and
cause a big mess. Fasting is able to help this cellular
cleansing work properly so that the brain is able to
function properly.
● Fasting increases the BDNF, or Brain-derived
neurotrophic factor, in the brain: Basically, the
BDNF is able to prevent the stressed neurons in the
brain from dying out. When there are low levels of this
in the body, there is more likelihood of dementia,
Alzheimer’s and other cognitive disorders.
● Fasting helps to grow new brain cells: This is a
process that is known as neurogenesis and it is great to
help establish new connections inside of the brain. This
can work well to help you improve the abilities of the
brain.
Increase your productivity
Food is actually a big distraction to the mind. Imagine who
much time you would be able to save and even how much
more you would be able to get done during the day if you
didn't need to spend time cooking a meal or eating it. Fasting
makes it easier for you to focus, sets your mind on a smooth
course, and can help you to save a lot of time during the day.
You won’t have to spend time worrying about what to eat for
the day, what time you need to eat, or even what you need
to cook, at least on the days that you are fasting.
Even if you are not able to make it through a whole day of
fasting, you may want to consider fasting at certain times.
There are some scientific circles who believe that during
most of the daytime, people should be on the move,
expending their energy to get work done. Then when the
night time comes along, they are meant to sit back and eat,
recuperate, and relax. This is the same idea of the circadian
rhythms that we talked about before. When you learn the
natural rhythms of eating at certain times for your body, you
can concentrate on getting more work done without worrying
so much about food.
Hunger is going to provide us with a reason to get the work
done. This makes sense because, in the past, hunger was
able to compel us to scavenge and hunt, so it clearly was
something that helped us to focus.
You can also think about it in another way. After you have a
big meal, are you likely to want to sit down and get work
done, or would you be more comfortable taking a long nap?
When you are done eating, your body is going to release
some hormones that will make you sleepy. Add on that the
process of digestion can take up a lot of energy and this
takes away from the work that you should be doing.
Yes, in the beginning, hunger can be a distraction, but when
you get used to fasting, even if it just for one day a week,
you will train yourself to embrace the hunger and learn how
to use it as a motivational tool to get more things done. You
can spend that time, the time you would normally spend
preparing or eating food, to get as much work done as
possible, and then save time to eat later on. This is more
efficient and can free up a lot of your time.
There are several ways that you can choose to do the
fasting. Some people decide to fast completely on their
really busy days, avoiding food all day long so that they can
get as much work done as possible without concentrating on
making food or having to eat. Others decide to save eating
for later in the day. They can spend the morning
concentrating on getting work and other obligations done.
Then when they are all caught up with the work, they can sit
back and relax with some good food, without having to worry
about being tired later on.
Fasting can make a big difference in how much focus you
have during the day. Fasting will help to strengthen the brain
and make it easier to concentrate on things that you want to
get done and can fight off some degenerative diseases as
well. In addition, when you don’t have to spend so much of
your time concentrating on preparing food and eating it, you
can take the energy and put it towards the work that you
need to get done. For those who are trying to increase their
focus and concentration, adding some fasting into your
routine can help!
Chapter 12: Sleep!
All of us have had those days when we go to work tired. We
find that it is hard to remember things, we slur our words,
and our thoughts are not as sharp as they should be. Missing
out on sleep can really impair your learning abilities and your
memory and research have proven this time and time again.
If you don't get enough sleep during the night, your brain is
not able to store information from the previous day, get
some rest to recharge, and work the way that you would like.
When we get enough sleep, we help the brain to function
more the next day. We can be sharp and focused on all of the
tasks that we need to get done. We remember important
events and other things that we need to get done, we are
able to talk with others and keep up our end of the
conversation, and we can focus long enough on tasks to get
them done.
On the other hand, when we miss out on sleep, or we get too
little sleep, the opposite is going to happen. Our brains will
feel tired and sluggish and just concentrate on getting to
work is going to be a huge undertaking for us. We will have
trouble focusing because we are so tired and the brain will
keep on moving to other topics. We may finish the day and
feel like we got nothing done.
For many people, this is something that they deal with on a
regular basis. They are used to going into work and feeling
like they got nothing done because they were up too late or
got up too early this morning. They struggle to stay focused
during meetings, work, and other important things, and they
fall behind. This can be a horrible cycle because they often
end up needing to take more work home with them, staying
up late yet again to try and get more stuff done and not fall
behind.
The trick to helping you to stay focused and to get out of this
loop is to learn how to get the proper night of sleep. Setting
up a regular bedtime and wake time, one that stays the
same even on weekends and holidays can make a big
difference. This will help to set up some of those important
circadian rhythms that you need and can make it easier to
stick with the best times for getting work done during the
day. So the first thing that you need to do is pick out a
bedtime and a time to wake up in the morning and then stick
with them.
In the beginning, you may find that this is tough. The
bedtime will roll around and your mind will convince you that
it isn't tired, especially if you are trying to fall asleep earlier
than you are used to. Some people may need to start slowly,
going to bed fifteen minutes earlier than they are used to
and then moving it closer to your goal each week until it gets
to a spot you are comfortable with. Then when morning
comes, you may face the same issue. Your body will not be
used to getting up as early in the beginning, but with some
practice, you will get used to it all.
Once the body gets used to waking up at the right times and
getting enough sleep, (which for most people should be
between 8 and 9 hours each day), you will be able to easily
fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning, full of
energy and ready to take on the world. You will be able to
make it work in the morning and sit down to get work done,
keeping your focus and not having to worry about a mind
wandering or forgetting things or not getting important tasks
done with. It does take some time to get used to, but giving
your body the amount of sleep that it needs and making sure
that you stay on a schedule are important to ensuring you
get into a rhythm and can keep your focus.
So what happens if you have trouble falling asleep at night?
There are some people who are more of night people who
will do better at night and won’t be able to fall asleep. The
good news is that with this, you can set your bedtime and
awake time anyway that you would like. If you are someone
who works best at night, set a later bedtime and get up a
little later in the morning. But if you are someone who does
their best work in the morning, make sure you are getting to
bed at a decent time.
Some of the other tips that you can follow to ensure that you
are getting enough sleep and not tossing and turning all
night long include:
● Set up a bedtime routine: A bedtime routine is one
of the best things to help signal to the mind that it is
time to go to bed. You can make this simple, such as
getting into your pajamas, brushing your teeth, washing
your face, and reading a chapter in a book. Each person
can pick out their own bedtime routine, but make sure
that you start it at the same time each night and stick
with it to see the best results.
● Keep the room dark: To fall asleep well, you need
to make sure that the room you are sleeping in is dark.
Turn off the lights, hide anything that makes some light,
and get curtains or other items to block out the windows
and outside light. Your mind will not fall asleep if the
room is too bright, so make it as dark as possible.
● Turn off the television in the room: If you have a
television in your room, turn it off completely. This is just
going to keep you awake and half the problem with
getting a good night of sleep is because the television
interferes. Take it out of your room if it is too tempting,
but make sure it is off while you sleep.
● Close down the computer and electronics: At
least an hour before bed, turn off the computer, the
phones, the video games, and the television. Keeping
these on can greatly affect your circadian rhythms and
will throw you off when it is time to go to bed. Instead,
spend some time talking to your spouse or kids, sharing
family time, working on your bedtime routine, or even
reading a book to help slow the mind down before bed.
● Add in some soft music: If you are someone who
can’t fall asleep to complete silence at night, or there
are a lot of outside noises that are keeping you up,
consider turning on some light music to help you sleep.
Something like nature sounds is a good place to start
but going with some classical music can help as well.
● Be comfortable: If you are not comfortable when
you lay down to bed at night, you are going to find it is
hard to fall asleep. Make sure that you keep the
 temperature a little bit cooler because this helps to
promote sleep, and pick out comfortable blankets and
pajamas so that you can better fall asleep at night.
Getting a good night of sleep is one of the best things that
you can do for your focus. No one is able to concentrate on
the tasks at hand and get things done if their mind wanders
off all the time or feels sluggish, which is what will happen if
you don’t get enough sleep. Follow some of the tips above to
help you to fall asleep faster and get your 8 to 9 hours a
night, and you will be surprised at how much more you can
get done during the day.
Conclusion
 
Congratulations for completing this book! Some of these
strategies you will want to put to use right away such as
setting actionable goals, and others may be habits you will
want to begin developing over time, such as setting a
meditation habit every day.
As you continually develop your ability to focus, you will
notice that this habit actually can get easier over time. Keep
in mind your intention to continually increase your focus, as
you develop your skills. You can even revisit some of these
ideas later on, to make sure you are incorporating good
habits into your work routine. Learning to increase your focus
can be one of the best time investments you can make! Keep
working at it, and you will be sure to see your productivity
increase dramatically, no matter what you are trying to
achieve.
 
 
 
  
 
Speed Reading
Intelligent Reading Hacks
for Increasing Speed and
Improving Comprehension
Table of Contents
 
Introduction
Chapter 1: Why Learn to Speed Read
Chapter 2: Calculating Your Reading Speed
Chapter 3: Getting Organized
Chapter 4: The SQ3R Method
Chapter 5: Saccades, Fixations, and How the Eyes
Work While Reading
Chapter 6: The Chunking Method
Chapter 7: Reducing Subvocalization
Chapter 8: Meta Guiding Techniques
Chapter 9: Skimming and Mapping
Conclusion

 
Introduction
 
Imagine if you were running a very old software program on
a computer. It would be slow, inefficient, and drag down your
ability to get work done. It may even stop working on you
unexpectedly, and would cause you to waste a lot of time
dealing with the outdated interface.
 
You know how frustrating it is when this happens to you on a
computer, but do we even notice when we are using old or
inefficient mental skills? Think how many times you read
every day. (You’re even doing it right now!) And imagine how
much more time you would have if you could learn how to
speed read. If you are a student, or a professional that is
required to absorb new information on a daily basis, the
rewards are of course huge. But absolutely anyone can
benefit by learning to update this skillset.
 
Think of your ability to read as a program that has been
hardwired into your brain since elementary school. This
‘Reading’ program is constantly operating in the background,
encoding our environment with the learned linguistic and
syntactical information that allows us to process visual data,
such as text, instantaneously into meaningful words and
phrases.
 
We have had this program running ever since we learned to
read. Unfortunately, when we were first learning to read in
the our early elementary school years, we also adopted
some bad habits. For example, subvocalization is the
technique we learned that allowed us to read silently, or
‘read to ourselves.’ When you were first taught to read, this
was a great habit to adopt because it meant that you had
moved past the phase of sounding out words. Now that we
know how to read proficiently, however, this can actually be
more of a hinderance to us if our aim is the quick and
efficient absorption of reading material.
 
Speed reading is not a difficult skill to learn. With the
information provide here, you can in fact learn it in less than
a day; and with continued practice, it will become as easy as
riding a bike, or any other skill you have committed to habit.
It’s not as easy as downloading an app update on your
smartphone, but it’s not too far off! If you are committed to
skyrocketing your productivity from now on, you won’t regret
updating this skillset! Speed reading is one of the best things
that you can do to free up more of your time, take in more
information, and even enjoy what you are reading more! In
this book, we will discuss the main techniques that can be
used to remaster this essential skill.
 
Chapter 1: Why Learn to Speed Read
 
Reading is an activity that helps to engage the mouth, brain,
ears, and eyes. When you decide to learn how to speed read,
you are basically learning how to use these senses, and the
brain, even more efficiently, and in a faster manner than you
did in the past. It is not just about reading through the words
quickly, it is about reading silently, without the
subvocalization, and about taking the words and seeing
them in blocks rather than each individual words. It is also
about comprehending, so you need to do it in a manner that
helps you to remember and understand the topics that
happen inside the report or document. This book will discuss
the main tools that you are able to start using speed reading
in your daily life.
 
The speed that you are able to read through books, articles,
important papers, and other written words will make a huge
difference on how much you will be able to get done each
day. Those who are slower readers may find that it takes
them so much more time to complete their work each day
compared to those who can get their paperwork or study
material read in just a few minutes. Most people are not
speed readers, and they are honestly losing out on a lot of
time in the process.
 
There are quite a few reasons that you would want to learn
how to speed read, whether you do a lot of reading for your
job, or if you are a student. Some people find that when they
get to work, they will need to read a long list of reports
before they can even get started on their work. For the
speed reader, this isn't really that big of a deal because they
are able to read through it in just a few minutes. For the
average reader, though, you may find that this can be
exhausting because you are going to need to spend several
hours to get the information.
 
Some of the most successful people in business and in their
personal lives are the ones who know how to speed read.
They are able to take in more information about the topics
that interest them. They can get their work done and be
ready for that big meeting with a few good ideas to share
around. They are able to go to almost any party that they
would like and join in the conversations because the speed
reading has allowed them to learn new topics and make
themselves feel comfortable in almost any situation.
 
Most people don’t associate reading with something that
would help them to improve in their day-to-day lives. Yes, we
often associate people who are really smart with ones who
do a lot of reading, but we assume these are the people who
have a lot of free time to get the reading done, not that they
are necessarily speed readers and that is how they can do it
all. But the average speed reader doesn’t necessarily have
more time to read compared to others, they just know how
to efficiently read through the material in front of them, so
they can learn more in a short amount of time while still
getting the work all done.
 
Speed reading can help you out in so many different aspects
of your life. It will help you to get that promotion at work
because you can get things done quickly, answer questions,
and even come up with great ideas that move the business
forward. It will help you to impress the people that you know
at social gatherings because you are able to talk about
almost any topic that you would like. It can help you to get
into new situations that can get you ahead, especially with
that confidence, and just makes life more enjoyable because
you have the knowledge that is needed to succeed.
 
Think about the person that you know who is the most
successful, who has the most money, the best job, or
something else that you think makes them successful. You
may have a lot of things that you are able to say about
them, but often, you will find that one thing they all have in
common is that they spend a lot of time reading. Some of
them will focus on reading the news and news magazines,
others will read more works of fiction, and others will want to
read articles and learn something new in a favorite
periodical. But no matter what, they all spend a lot of their
time reading, and many of them are probably speed readers
who can fit in with their busy schedules.
 
If these successful people spend their time reading and they
know how to speed read, doesn’t it make sense that you
should learn how to speed read as well? If you want to be
successful or at least get better at managing the time that
you have each day, it is time to learn how to speed read.
Don’t worry, it is a simple process, and while some people
will take longer to learn how to do it than others, it is simple
and anyone can increase their speed and see results.
 
There are actually quite a few benefits that come with
learning how to speed read. It is not just about getting
through that boring report or a newspaper a bit faster than
before. It is going to help improve so many different parts of
your life including the following:
 
● Empowerment: The faster that you are able to read,
the more information you can take in. You will be able to
learn your facts better, have some backup points to
impress others, and will be more likely to speak up at
that next meeting or another event. If people ask your
opinion or you are looking for a topic to discuss in a
social situation, you will be able to answer the call
thanks to that extra information that you took in. You
can speed read pretty much anything, from the news to
reports for work, to books, and other information so that
you can get caught up and ready to impress no matter
where you go.
● Money: People who are able to speed read often
obtain better employment options than others. Speed
reading can help out because you will be able to gain
the knowledge that you need to get a better job, and it
can help with increasing your education. For example, if
you are able to take some online courses or training
classes and get them done faster with speed reading, it
is easier to finish the class and either get that promotion
or find a better job with better pay.
● More confidence: People who are speed readers are
the ones who are able to become more confident. They
know about their company and the topics that are being
discussed at meetings. They have topics to cover at
social gatherings. They have the information needed in
order to share their points of view and not get tripped
up when someone asks a question. When you know the
right information no matter the situation, it is easier to
feel confident, and speed reading can help make this
happen. Some of the most confident people you will
meet are speed readers. This is because they are able
to obtain more knowledge about the things that go on
around them in life, they are able to learn things quickly
if they don’t know the information, and they get along
better with the people they meet.
● Enhanced memory: Not only is speed reading able
to help you read through your documents faster, it will
also help you to increase your understanding as well.
When you are able to understand a fact or a topic and
why they are important, it is easier to remember them.
This improved memory is not just seen with the things
you read; you will see that it can be extended into other
parts of your life as well. And since memory is
considered an aspect of creativity, most speed readers
find that they are more creative as well.
● More focus: Are you someone who seems to have a
lot of issues focusing on the tasks that you need to get
done. You will find that the skills you learn with speed
reading are great for helping you to become more
focused. This helps you to become more interested in
the things that you read, and when combined with your
creativity, you are more eager to learn and focus on the
task at hand. Speed reading takes a lot of focus to get
done and when you are good at it, you will be able to
take some of that focus and put it into other parts of
your life, such as your work, your family, your friends,
and so much more.
● Your thinking improves: Speed reading helps your
thinking to improve. You will be able to take in more
information in a shorter amount of time, which helps
you to use your critical thinking skills, with information
to back it up, which can make life so much easier.
● Better time management: Speed reading can help
you to better manage your time. You will be able to read
emails and directions quickly and can get started on
work right away. You won’t have to waste your time
reading through reports and other things, so you spend
more time working. If you are someone who has trouble
getting things done or using time management, you
should work on speed reading. All of us have about the
same amount of time in our day, just the 24 hours, but
it is how we use that time, how efficient we are at
getting things done, that will determine how successful
we are. With speed reading, we can get at least a few
things in our day done faster and really free up our time
for things that are more important to us.
● More productive: People who are speed readers are
able to get more done. Rather than spending so much
time reading through directions, emails, and reports to
 get the work done, they can get this reading done in
just a few minutes, and then, they can get right to work.
The faster you are able to get through the reading, the
more that you will be able to get done. And with the
enhanced memory, you will be able to remember the
information that you read, so you aren’t searching
around for it or forgetting important facts you need to
get the work done.
● Better problem-solving skills: Speed reading
makes it easier for you to stream more information into
the subconscious of the brain. With this information at
hand, the subconscious is going to be able to solve
more problems. This can make it easier for you to look
at a complex problem and figure out how you will be
able to solve it!
 
There are just so many great benefits of learning how to
speed read. Even if you are only able to increase your speed
reading by a little bit, you will find that it makes such a
difference in your productivity, your job happiness, your
memory, and so much more.
Chapter 2: Calculating Your Reading Speed
 
So before we are able to get started with the tips and tricks
for speed reading, we need to get a good idea of the speed
that you are already reading at. It is hard to tell if you are
getting any faster with the reading or not if you don’t even
have a good idea of where you started. You will need to
calculate your reading speed at the beginning and then at
different intervals along the way to make sure that you are
getting better.
 
There are several methods that you will be able to use in
order to calculate your current reading speed and to
calculate it as you improve your speed. The first one is to
pick out a passage of some sort, probably a few pages long,
and read through this passage. First, you should count how
many words are inside of this passage. Then bring out a
timer and let it run while you read through that same
passage.
 
The goal here is to not hurry through the passage but to read
through it at a speed that is comfortable for you right now.
You are not in a hurry, and you should take the time that it
needs to understand what is being said. You want a good
comparison to go from later on, so just read the document
like you normally do.
 
When you get to the end, you can turn off the timer. Dividing
by the number of words that are in the passage, you will be
able to calculate how many words you are able to read in a
minute. Don’t be worried if you feel this number is too low in
the beginning. The whole point of speed reading is to learn
how to read faster than before; if you could already read
really fast, there is really no point in learning how to speed
read.
 
Write this number down somewhere so that you have a good
idea of where you started at later on. From here, you would
use apply the methods that we discuss in this guidebook in
order to improve your speed compared to the number that
we got in the beginning, with still getting the same
comprehension out of the reading material. Periodically
during your learning, take some time to do a test. You can
pick a passage that is about the same length (but go with a
completely new passage) and then try out the speed reading
techniques that you have learned to see how they work for
you.
 
You will be surprised how, after just a few weeks of practice,
you can increase your reading speed by quite a bit. You
should write down the number each time to help you to get a
good idea of how your speed reading is going and try to keep
the articles about the same length for a good measurement
along the way. Soon, you will be able to use speed reading in
order to get through at least a few pages of text in less than
a minute, while still comprehending what is going on in the
writing.
 
Sometimes, it is hard to find the text that you want to use, or
you are worried about how many words are present. There
are a lot of great websites that you can use online that will
record your reading for you. You can pick out a passage, turn
on the timer on the program, and then read through. As soon
as you tell the program to stop recording, you will get the
results. This makes it easier to keep track of your results
based on the passage that you are reading and how quickly
you get through it. You can bookmark the website that you
like the most so that you can go back to it each time
 
It is a good idea to set up a plan that will help you to keep
track of your reading speed and how well you are doing
overall. It is impossible to tell if you are getting better with
the speed reading or not if you aren't monitoring what is
going on. So, the first step is to come up with a plan to help
you out. The first time should be before you even get started
with any of the tips in this guidebook. This helps to give you
a basis point. It doesn't matter how fast or slow you are in
this section; no one is judging you, and you want to get an
honest base to compare with later on. So, just take the
document and read at a pace that is comfortable for you and
that helps you to still comprehend the material when you are
all done.
 
After the first time, you may want to pick to do another test
every week or so for the first month. If you are spending at
least a little time practicing each day, maybe 20 minutes,
you are going to see some pretty good results at the end of
the week. Some people get frustrated after a few weeks
because they feel that their speed reading is not getting any
better, but you may be surprised after doing some of these
reading speed calculations at how much better you are
getting over time. Do this for about 4 weeks to help you to
see the improvement.
 
Once that first month is up, you may be able to reduce the
reading speed testing down to a few times a month or even
less. You should always be working to increase your speed so
that you can get information even faster than before, but
you don't need to calculate it all of the time. If at any time
you feel like you aren't getting better or that you are slowing
down, take the time to do one of these tests again. One of
two things will occur; you will either be surprised at how fast
you are and will want to keep working, or you will notice that
you are slowing down and will start pushing yourself to get
faster again.
 
Calculating your reading speed is an important step in
getting started with speed reading. It ensures that you are
able to see what your starting point is and then will show you
how far you have come along the way. It can even be a good
motivating tool for those times when you feel you are getting
nowhere, but you find that your speed is actually getting
quite a bit better. Always start out with a test reading speed
to know where you are starting and keep that, plus your
subsequent reading speeds, together so you can see how far
you’ve come.
Chapter 3: Getting Organized
 
Now that we have the base of our reading speed and we are
ready to learn how to do it, you should make sure that you
are organized to get the most out of the speed reading. If
you don't do a bit of preliminary work, make sure that your
lighting makes reading easier and that you are free of
distractions before you even get started. Organization ahead
of time is almost as important as the actual speed reading,
so we are going to take some time to explore them here.
 
If you are just grabbing the first thing that comes over to
you, sitting in front of a television in a dark room, and trying
to hold conversations with other people while you are
working on speed reading, you are going to be disappointed.
You will find that you can't read as fast as you would like and
that you are not even remembering what you read in the
document. Luckily, with a bit of organization and some of the
tips in this chapter, you will be able to get in the right
environment and even have the right plan, to see success
with your work in speed reading.
 
Prioritize your reading material and create a strategy
 
Before we get started, it is time to go through our reading
materials and decide what is the most important for you to
work with. You most likely need to spend time reading a few
different types of documents, and you need to figure out
what is the most important to get done with first. Do you
have a particular document that needs to get done? Is there
a certain order that you want to get things done? Take all of
the things that you would like to read through and need to
get done, and put them in the order that you want to do
them. If you need to do some work with them, such as
creating a report from the research, you should put all the
information together and leave the items that you need all in
one place. You would be surprised how taking a moment in
the beginning to prioritize your work can really help you save
time in the long run.
 
You basically need to use this section in order to create a
great strategy that will help you get started. You need to
figure out what things you would like to get done with first,
how long you will give yourself to get the stuff done, and
what all needs to get done with it. You can also create a plan
for how you will get the reading done on each document and
make sure that it is all going to fit in for the best time
management possible.
 
Use the hierarchical system to start
 
For this part, we are going to take some time to look over the
basics by skimming through the material and learning what
we will be reading inside of the material before it even
begins. If you go into reading something without any idea of
what you are reading, it can really slow you down. With this
method, you will at least be able to get an outline of what
will be discussed in the rest of the document, and that can
speed up the reading because you don’t need to get caught
up later.
 
So for this part, we are going to start by looking at the table
of contents that comes with the document that you are
reading. If it is done well, you can get some ideas on the
topics that will be discussed within the document based on
the chapter names and the subheadings that are found
inside the table of contents. Take a look at this and get
familiar with the topics that are there.
 
Next, we are going to go through the introduction and the
conclusion of our document, to see what are the most
important parts that are inside. If the report is written
properly, you will be able to get some information on the
topics that are inside of the whole document, and it can
speed up the process. Take some time to read these and
then check if there are some questions at the end of the
document or chapter, such as with a textbook. These
questions are going to help you to see the most important
topics as well.
 
And finally, if the document is split up into little sections, you
should take the time to read the first and the last paragraphs
that are inside each of the sections. These are like
summaries of each section and can help you out. You don't
have to spend a lot of time looking through this. Just read a
bit so you get some basics.
 
At this point, it is time to start with the speed reading. You
should have a pretty good idea of what is going to be inside
of the document, so you will not need to read every word,
and you can instead look for the most important part of the
section. You will be able to use the various speed reading
techniques, such as chunking, (which we will cover in detail
later in this book) in order to read quickly through the
document and get it done in just a few minutes, rather than
spending a few hours on it. It may take a bit of time to get
the hierarchical system in place, but you will find that it can
give you the most important information, especially in the
beginning, and then allows you to get through the document
quickly with plenty of comprehension.
 
Tips and tricks for the right environment for speed
reading
 
It is important to be in the right environment before you start
speed reading. If your posture is poor, you have a lot of
distractions around you, or you can’t find good lighting, it is
going to be really hard to get started on speed reading.
Some of the tips that you can use in order to create the best
environment for your speed reading includes the following:
● Pick a spot with good lighting: Lighting is
important when you get started with speed reading.
How are you supposed to be able to read the words on a
page, much less read them quickly, if you are not able
to see what is there? Make sure that the lighting in the
room is providing you with enough illumination. Adding
a reading lamp can help so that you can see the page in
front of you without straining the eyes over time.
● Avoid distractions: When you are speed reading,
you need to make sure that you are avoiding
distractions as much as possible. This means turn off
the loud music, make sure that you are nowhere near
the television, and that no one comes into the room and
distracts you while you work on this. These distractions
will make it impossible to concentrate on the words in
front of you and can limit your speed and your
comprehension.
● Turn on some quiet music: Some people find that
having it completely quiet when they are trying to read
can be hard. They may keep vocalizing the words that
they are hearing in their head or they may hear other
noises, such as a car going by or other things, that keep
them from concentrating on their speed reading. Some
quiet music, such as classical music, can be the best for
you to use because it will give you some of that
background music and has even been shown to help
you concentrate more.
● Sit up straight: Posture is important when it comes
to speed reading. When you are slouching, you are
going to make your mind think that you are relaxing,
and it becomes really hard to concentrate on the work
that you are doing. Make sure that you are sitting up
 straight; with a good posture, you are more likely to
focus on the task at hand.
● Be comfortable: While good posture is important to
helping you to concentrate on the work that you are
doing, you also need to make sure that you are
comfortable. If you feel sore or achy or have something
else that is wrong with where you are sitting, you will
concentrate on the problem, rather than on the thing
that you are reading. Find a spot that is good for your
posture and that will help you to feel as comfortable as
possible.
● Eat a little bit before starting: If you are hungry,
have a light snack before you decide to start speed
reading. If your stomach is grumbling, you are sure to
have troubles with reading the material that is in front
of you. Make sure that it is just a light snack, though,
just enough to make you feel satisfied but not enough to
make you feel overfilled. A stuffed stomach is just as
bad as an empty stomach when it comes to how well
you are able to concentrate.
● Bring in something to drink: Depending on how
much time you spend speed reading, you may get a bit
thirsty in the process. If you spend too much time
thinking about getting a drink or about how thirsty you
are, you are going to miss out on some of the
information you are reading, and your speed may slow
down. Bring in a glass of water so that if you feel thirsty,
you are able to just take a quick drink and get back to
work.
 
Getting organized is important when it comes time to start
with your speed reading adventure. If you are not prepared
and ready to take on the speed reading, you are going to run
into a lot of issues in the process, and you may not have the
right concentration that is needed to do well. Make sure that
you use these tools, and you are sure to get going on speed
reading, and you can increase those words per minute in no
time!
Chapter 4: The SQ3R Method
The SQ3R is actually a comprehension-based reading
method that has been around since the 1940s. Francis
Pleasant Robinson, an American education philosopher,
introduced this topic in his 1946 book ‘Effective Study’.
Basically, it is a method that helps you to maintain high
levels of comprehension of the material that you are reading.
When we are looking at SQ3R, we are talking about a
method that uses 4 parts: Survey, Question, Read, Recall,
and Review. It has been updated over time in order to help
include some other facets of reading and comprehension
when it is necessary. We will look at this method in the
context of speed reading to understand how it is possible to
maintain high reading comprehension, even when reading
very rapidly.
 
The main purpose of this method is to improve the memory
skills and concentration skills of the reader. The SQ3R has
been adapted over time to be used as a speed reading
technique, even though this wasn't what it was originally
intended for, because it is going to help you to sharpen your
skills of retention no matter what speed you are working at.
It would be pretty counterproductive to speed read if you
can’t even remember what you read in the first place! Let’s
take a look at some of the different parts that come with the
SQ3R method and how you can use it to increase your
reading speed.
 
Survey
 
The first part of this method is the Survey. For this one, we
are going to spend a few minutes looking over the
document, textbook, or other material that we are going to
read as carefully as possible. This means that we need to
look at some things like the title, headings and subheadings,
introduction and summary paragraphs, bold or italicized
words, and sometimes it will even be a good idea to look
through some of the descriptions that are under the images
if there are some. This should not take you a few minutes,
but it can help you to get an idea of the important parts that
are inside of the document and what you will need to
remember after you are all done.
 
Question
 
For this part, we are going to take the title, the headings,
and also the subheadings and change them over into
questions. You should also take some time to read the
questions that are given by the writer at the end of the
sections or the document if these are available. You can do
this at the same time that you are surveying the material as
well if it works the best for you. This requires some conscious
effort, but by doing so, you are able to keep yourself alert, as
you will subconsciously be trying to answer the questions
you asked while you read over the material. It also helps to
increase your focus, but engaging your curiosity. It also helps
you to get an idea of what the material is leading to and the
message that it is trying to send to you.
 
While you are going through the question part, make sure to
take notes and write down all of the questions that you are
making. This helps you to look back at them later on and
remember what you wrote and gives you a good idea of what
each section is going to talk about before you delve into
reading that part.
 
Read
 
Now that we have some information about what is inside of
the document, it is time to read some of the paragraphs. You
need to be alert to what you are reading, but do push
yourself to get through it as quickly as you can. To help with
reading comprehension while you are going through all of
this, make sure to answer the questions that you wrote out
earlier. This will make it easier for you to look for the
information that is pretty important in the document and will
ensure that you are able to remember what you wrote down.
 
If you are having some trouble with comprehension of the
material that you are reading through during this process,
you are able to write down some notes in between each
section. Do not go through and write notes that take up
several pages, though. This is going to slow you down and
kind of makes the process of speed reading worthless.
Rather, just write down a few words here and there and call
it good, and you are able to use these notes later to help you
out.
 
Recall
 
Aside from looking at the questions that you wrote out and
then answering them in your own words to help you
understand what is going on in the document, you will also
want to speak them out in your own words. Speaking out the
notes that you wrote is a great way to help reinforce the
comprehension that you want with the material. This method
actually works to help the brain remember more of the stuff
that was in the material because you will not only have to
write down the parts that you read about, but you also be
engaging different parts of your brain by speaking them out
loud, helping to engrain the more in your subconscious.
 
When you are recalling the information and trying to read it
out loud, do not look back at the book or the notes that you
took, or even the questions that you wrote out on the paper.
If you look back at these, they are giving you little triggers,
which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does not help you
to get some of the comprehension that you are looking for. If
you find that you are not able to comprehend what you have
just read, you probably need to slow down the reading speed
a little bit for now, but keep trying so that you are able to
keep improving and getting faster. If you are not able to
comprehend, however, it means you are not ready to go that
fast yet.
 
It is going to take some practice before you are able to go
through and do the recall well, but that is why you need to
practice with speed reading as much as possible. As you get
better with comprehending what is going on and increase
your speed, you will be able to finish the pages that you
want pretty quickly and still be able to recall the information
that you just read through.
 
Review
 
When it is all done, you should look over all of the material
that you are reading again and look at it with the information
that you wrote down as notes and even questions. You could
even try to recall some of the questions and answers that
you wrote down if you feel that you are ready for this point,
but that is more advanced, so you can look over the notes at
this time if you would like.
 
If this is a method that you are using as a student for your
classroom lesson or the book that you need to read for class,
you will need to use the review section in order to check for
all of the significant material that is inside of the studies. But
when you are working on speed reading for work or
something else, what you will need to look for is how much
of this information you have remembered and even how
much you have understood from the material, and you
should concentrate on how quickly you were able to get this
done.
 
Once you have done these five steps, it is time to move on
to the other things that you need to read through. If you
work in the corporate world or you need to get through a lot
of documents, you are going to get a lot of practice with this
method to see it work well. But the more you work with the
method, the more you will get used to it, and soon, you will
be able to do the recall and even the review without having
to look at your notes or work as hard, and you will even get
faster at the reading part as well.
 
Speed reading is a great thing to learn how to use if you
need to get a lot of information for work, school, or other
things in a quick manner. But with that being said, it is not
going to do you much good if you are not able to remember
or comprehend what is going on in the document. With the
SQ3R method, you will be able to work on getting faster with
your reading while still comprehending and remembering the
information that you are reading at the same time.
Chapter 5: Saccades, Fixations, and How
the Eyes Work While Reading
 
Understanding how our eyes are going to move around on a
page when we are speed reading is going to make a big
difference in how well you are able to read. If you have ever
been able to watch someone do speed reading, you are
going to enjoy the experience. They are able to take a book
and turn the pages very quickly, faster than you can even
imagine. You may think that they are joking and not even
looking at the page, but in reality, they are able to stop and
repeat the information that they learned from the book when
they are all done. Even though a traditional reader finds that
it is sometimes hard to remember the information that is on
the page, it is possible for a speed reader to get this work
done quickly and still remember the information.
 
One of the biggest keys that you need to help with speed
reading is with the eyes. The eyes are the parts that will be
scanning the page and keeping up with the information
before transmitting it to the brain. Those who have had a lot
of practice with speed reading aren’t the ones who are super
smart or have like bionic eyes. They have the same eyesight
as others, they have just learned to pick up the speed of
their reading, and they have learned to move their eyes in a
manner that will help with this.
 
So the first step that we need to look at for success at speed
reading is going to be found inside the eyes. For you to be
able to read through a document or other materials well,
regardless of what speed you choose, you need to be able to
have a good ability to see. This involves making sure that
you get regular eye exams. Even if you were a speed reader
in the past, if your eyesight starts to fail a bit, you are going
to have trouble keeping up the pace that you are reading.
 
For a long time, it was believed that in order to do speed
reading, you needed to learn how to use your peripheral
vision. When we are talking about the peripheral vision, we
are referring to the line of sight that we are able to use and
see right out of the corners of our eyes. The idea was that
the eyes would go through and scan the page, it was just the
words that were inside the peripheral vision that would stick.
Through some more research, though, it has been found that
this isn't the case, and in reality, using this method could
result in you losing quite a bit of the comprehension that you
need with the text.
 
Instead, it is really important for speed reading that you can
get your eyes to scan the whole text. This method is going to
make it much easier for you to catch on to every word and
phrase, like what would happen when you use the approach
of your peripheral vision. Your eyes are the most important
part of the speed reading process because they are going to
help you catch all the information and getting them to work
for you, and go at the tempo that you need is critical. There
are some problems that can come up when you are trying to
speed read, common issues that the eyes like to focus on
that will slow you down and make it hard. We will take some
time to talk through these in the rest of this chapter and
even work on some eye exercises to help make speed
reading better.
 
The issue with saccades and your eyes
 
Saccades can also be important when it comes to helping
you to explore what is going on in the world around you and
to increase your reading speed. A saccade is a rapid
movement of the eye between fixation points. So the faster
that you are able to make these rapid eye movements and
the further apart you are able to make the fixation points,
the faster your reading speed will be.
 
Sometimes you don’t have as much say in the saccades. For
example, if there are some words in the text that you don’t
know, the saccade will probably cover a smaller area and
you won’t be able to read as fast. On the other hand, if you
are familiar with the information and you know the words
that are listed out, you will most likely get to quicken up the
rapid eye movements, and it will be easier to get the fixation
parts to be further from each other, effectively helping to
increase your speed.
 
Most people are going to have trouble because their rapid
eye movement is going to be pretty slow because the
fixation points are so close together. They may only be able
to take a few rods in at a time, and while they may be able
to do this quickly, each time they have to stop the eye
movement, they are going to slow down quite a bit.
 
Fixations and how they can speed up your reading
 
Another component of speed reading is going to be eye
fixation. Eye fixation is basically a point where the eyes will
come to rest while you are reading. Readers who are able to
take these fixations and make them a bit faster are able to
increase how many words they can fit into each fixation and
basically are able to read faster. The number of words that
you are able to process with your eye fixation will depend on
how familiar you are with the material in front of you, your
own personal vocabulary, and even your vision span.
 
The wider you are able to get your vision span, the more
words you are able to process at the same time and the
faster you can read through the document. You will need to
work on getting in more words at a time so that you are able
to read faster. Let’s look at the following sentence: “The rain
in Spain stays mainly in the plain.” A regular reader may
have a narrow vision span and will need to go through at
least six different eye fixations in order to take this in, and
some are only able to take in one or two words at a time. But
if the reader is a speed reader, they may be able to get this
done within a few eye fixations, and if they are really good at
it, maybe even just one.
 
The wider your vocabulary is, the easier it is for you to move
the eyes more. If there are a lot of words that are unfamiliar
with you and that you just aren't able to work with all that
well, you are going to stop more to look at them, the eyes
are going to be drawn back to those same words, making
your reading slower and slower. Any time that you don't
recognize the words all that much, you are going to fixate on
them more, so learning a wider vocabulary is a great way to
ensure that you are able to read through the material faster.
 
And finally, the familiarity you have with the topic is going to
help determine how many words you are able to see in one
eye fixation. When you read about a topic that you know a
lot about or that is in your field of interest, you will be able to
read with more confidence, and it is easier for you to get
through the material with fewer eye fixations because you
are familiar with the information and even with the
terminology.
 
Your background, your education, and your general
knowledge will also make a difference in how fast you are
able to read. People who have a big range of knowledge are
going to be able to read faster because this is something
that they are used to working on. By making reading
something that is pleasurable and more efficient, speed
reading will encourage you to read, which will widen how
much you know and can help you to read even faster than
before.
 
Eye exercises for your speed reading
 
If your eyes are not as strong as they should be, you will find
that it is really hard for you to get the reading speed that you
want, no matter how hard you are trying. The good news is
that you are able to do some exercises that will help you to
get through the text faster and will even make the muscles
around the eye a bit stronger. Some of the things that you
can work on for this includes the following:
 
Thumb to thumb glancing
 
For the first step, we are going to work on the thumb to
thumb glancing because it is able to work on the muscles
that are inside of your eye sockets and that are important to
working peripheral vision. For this one, you will start with
either standing or sitting and then look straight ahead.
Stretch out the arms to the sides and then stick the thumbs
up. Now you will do the next part without turning the head
and just glance back and forth between the two thumbs,
doing this about 10 times each. Put your arms down for a
break and then repeat these steps a few times to finish.
 
Eye writing
 
For this exercise, we are working on getting our eyes to
move around a bit more. Remember that with speed reading,
you don’t necessarily need to read from left to right all of the
time. Some people find success when they are able to do
chunking well enough that they will go just down the page
instead, so using eye writing can help move in different
directions. For this one to work, we are going to look at a wall
that is far away, or on the other side of the room. Now, you
are able to imagine that you are writing out your name or
some other words on that wall, just using movements with
your eyes. You would pretend that they were the paint brush
for you and that you would like to write out the name. You
can even try to write it out with some block letters or in
cursive to make sure that you are really working on the
words.
 
Hooded eyes
 
This is a good technique to use if you would like to make
sure that your eyes are looking relaxed. You will want to use
this technique any time that your eyes need a little bit of a
break. For this one, you will want to close the eyes so that
they are halfway closed and then work on not allowing your
eyelids to tremble. As you are concentrating on the eyelids,
you will find that your eyes are really relaxing. With the eyes
still closed in this matter, make sure to look at an object that
is far away. This is going to help keep the eyes strong when
they are tired of reading and makes them stronger.
 
Eye squeezes
 
This is another one that you will want to work with if your
eyes are looking for a way to relax. It is also good to add
some more flexibility to the eyes and can increase the flow
of oxygen and blood to the face and the eyes. This is an
exercise that is going to take about 3 minutes to accomplish,
so get ready for that. When you are ready, inhale deeply and
then slowly open the eyes and the mouth as wide as you are
able to. This is going to help you to stretch out all of the
muscles that are inside of your face. As you exhale, you will
need to close and squeeze together the eyes as much as you
can while squeezing the muscles that are in the neck, face,
and so on. Hold your breath and keep on squeezing for about
30 seconds to really stretch it out. Repeat this a few times
and then take a quick break before doing it again.
 
Keeping your eyes strong is one of the best things that you
can do to ensure that you are able to get the results you are
looking for out of speed reading. These tips are going to
strengthen the eyes and the muscles that control them and
will ensure that you are able to get the eyes stronger and
faster, while also giving them a break as needed, so they can
keep going and helping you to get faster at reading.
 
Chapter 6: The Chunking Method
 
The next part that we are going to take a look at is called
chunking or making groupings of words. A slow reader will
often take a look at the words and read them out one at a
time as if they were reading these words out loud. That is an
incredibly slow method to learn how to speed read because
you have to stop and look at each individual word, and
sometimes, it is going to make it really difficult to keep the
subvocalization out of your head.
 
With the chunking method, we are going to be able to take
some of the words that we are working on and combine
them together. We can see three or four words together and
see them as one, making the reading much faster than
before. You may have to try doing this in a few different
ways, but it can be really effective to make your speed a
little bit.
 
Let's look at an example. Read the sentence “the big, red
house.” If you are not used to speed reading yet, you will
probably look at this one and see each of the words on their
own, and you probably even imagined the big house that
was red in your mind. But when each of the words is their
own units, you are slowing down the speed that you are able
to read with. On the other hand, you should learn how to
take a few of the words and group them together, making
three to five words a unit, rather than each individual word.
 
At the beginning, this is going to seem a bit daunting, but as
you practice, you are going to get the hang of the whole
idea, and it won’t be as bad. For example, let’s look at some
of the sentences below and see if you are able to picture
them each of them as a single unit or if you see them as
their own individual word:
 
● the tree, blowing in the wind
● the fast moving car
● the dark night
● the brown dog
 
When you read through these phrases, you are probably
looking at each of the chunks, and you picture what they are
saying in your mind. You are not seeing the word “the,” then
the color brown, and then the dog; you are seeing a brown
dog. This is a start to what you want to have happened when
you work with speed reading and the method of chunking.
You want to be able to take bigger chunks of words and just
put them together rather than having them all be separated
out on their own and slowing you down.
 
As you get better at speed reading, you are going to learn
how to move your eyes along a line of text, and you will
learn how to see a combination of words, rather than the
individual words. For example, if you have a page that is
going to contain 350 words on it, you may group them into
only 125 groups of words. This is a much faster method to
use, pretty much increasing your speed already since you
can cut it down by almost a third. You will basically be
reading fewer words on that page when you use the
groupings, but you will get the main idea from it, will be able
to spend a lot less time on every page, and will still be
getting faster. When you add this with some of the other
topics we have discussed for reading faster, your speed will
get better in no time.
 
So how do you learn how to use these groupings in order to
see some of the results that you would like when working
with the chunking method? We are going to start out pretty
small, with just chunking together about three words at a
time. If you are able to, just use your eyes to do this on the
document, but some people find that bringing out a pen and
marking at every three words can help them to separate it
out and get used to this. Go ahead and mark up the page if
that is what works for you before we start.
 
Now that you have a pretty good idea of where you need to
group the words together, it is time to start reading. Rather
than going through and looking at each of the individual
words, make sure to look at the grouping of three all
together. Go from one grouping to the other as quickly as
possible to help you to get the hang of speed reading and to
ensure that you are not vocalizing at the same time.
 
Once you are able to do the grouping of three pretty well and
your speed has increased quite a bit, it is time to make the
groupings much bigger. You will find that you are able to do
quite large groupings, and some of the best speed readers
will be able to take whole sentences at a time. We will start a
bit smaller, though, perhaps going from three to four words
in a grouping. Do the same steps as before but separate
everything out into groups of four words at a time and see if
you are able to do this well.
 
When you get done with doing well on the four-word
groupings, it is time to move on to adding five and the six
words to the groupings. The more words that you are able to
add into each of these groupings, the faster you will be able
to speed read and the less you will need to worry about
issues such as having the vocalization that is inside your
head when you read. Over time, you won’t even need to
make the little marks on the documents that you are
practicing with; your mind will automatically look for the
groupings that it is comfortable with reading, and you can
zoom through the material in no time.
 
When you add in more words to the grouping, you may find
at first that your speed goes down a little bit. This is normal
as your eyes get used to having to take in more words at a
time, and they get the idea that they need to find a new
fixation spot on the document. They will get used to it
though and soon the reading speed will get faster because
you are taking in more words than before.
 
Chunking is a great method to help you increase your speed.
Too many of us never got out of the methods we learned
when we first started reading, the idea that we needed to
sound out each word on its own, and while this is a great
way to get started with reading, it will incredibly slow us
down when we are older and need to get the reading done.
Chunking can help us to get over that, as well as being able
to help us to stop vocalizing the words in our head, because
it forces us to look at words in groups, rather than as
individual parts. You may need to start out slowly with this,
just doing three or so words at a time, but with some
practice, you can increase how many of these you do until
you can take in whole lines at a time and zoom right through
all the things that you read! Try some of the methods that we
discussed in this chapter, and you will be able to make these
groupings work for you.
Chapter 7: Reducing Subvocalization
 
One of the biggest issues you are going to run into when you
start with speed reading is the idea of subvocalization. With
this, you are looking at the word on a page and then saying
it in your head. This is often a process that was taught to us
when we first learned how to read and it may have been
helpful then, but as adults, it is simply causing us to slow
down and not see the results that we want.
 
When you read a book or another piece of written work, do
you often hear that voice inside of your head reading along
with you? Since most people were taught to read by saying
the words silently in their head, this is often a situation that
will continue to follow you throughout your adult life. When
we were originally taught out to read, we did it out loud, but
once we were fluent enough, the teacher most likely had you
read these words in your head. As a beginner reader, it was
a good idea to do this because you were learning the words,
but as adults, this is basically slowing us down and making it
hard to get all of the reading done that we need.
 
Reading each of the words in our heads can slow down our
reading speed significantly. But how is it possible to read a
word without speaking it to ourselves first? Actually, this is
something we do all the time. While we may look at the word
"Stop" on the page and read it out loud, are we doing the
same thing when we see a stop sign? The answer is probably
no because we have trained our brains to see the sign and
the word, and we automatically stop without needed to read
the word. If we write out a year, such as 1885, we are likely
to just see the year, rather than read out eighteen hundred
and eighty-five. These are both examples that we can use for
speed reading, we just need to learn how to do the same
automatic response with the majority of the words that we
read rather than just with a few of them.
 
Think about it, with vocalizing every word that we read, do
you really think that you are able to read 300, 400, or even
more words in a minute? The best speed readers have
learned to turn off this subvocalization so that they can just
focus on what is being said, rather than on each individual
word. Luckily, there are a few things that you are able to do
yourself that will help you to speed up the reading while still
getting the comprehension out of the work, and it simply
involves turning off all of that subvocalization. Some of the
steps that you can do to make this work includes the
following:
 
● Use your hands as a guide: This is actually a
central principle that comes with speed reading because
it is going to force you to move along on the page rather
than trying to say the words. You will use your hands to
help guide you through at a pace that is slow enough
that you can learn what the document is saying, but fast
enough that it makes it impossible to vocalize all of the
words. As you get better at speed reading, you will be
able to make your hand go faster and faster to keep up.
● Distract yourself: If you are really having trouble
with subvocalization, it may be a good idea to distract
yourself in some manner so that you can’t say the
words inside of your head. There are a few methods that
you can use to do this, including chewing gum so that
you don’t say the words inside your head. Some people
find that using another voice in your head can help,
such as counting from one to three on each line so you
aren’t able to say the words. You can just say these
slowly in your head or whisper them out loud, focus on
the beginning of the sentence on one, the middle on
two, and the end on three.
 ● Listen to some music: Some people have found
that they can have success with ending subvocalization
if they turn on music when they are reading. Listening
to music is a great way to help you concentrate on
things better, but remember that you have to pick the
right music or you won’t be able to concentrate. Go with
something that doesn’t have a really strong beat and
that doesn’t contain lyric because this will distract you
from the reading. The best music to listen to is
something like classical music because the melodies are
soothing and they can help you to concentrate pretty
well.
● Use an speed reading application: If you are still
having some issues, you may want to consider getting
an application that can help. You would be able to paste
in whatever you are trying to read, and then, you set up
the reading speed. The words are going to blink up on
the page at the speed that is set, and you can even
choose how many will show up on the screen at a time.
A good speed to avoid the subvocalization is 300 words
a minute. A good application to use for this would
include AccelaReader RSVP.
● Push the reading speed: If you keep reading at the
same pace all of the time, you will find it is impossible to
get the faster reading speed and get rid of the
subvocalization. If you are able to read about 200 words
per minute, force yourself to go faster, maybe 300
words a minute. This alone will help you to cut out some
of the noise in your head so that you can see better
results.
 
Subvocalization may have been something we were taught
at a young age, and it may have helped you learn how to
read. But when it comes to getting things done as an adult, it
is important to learn to turn off this skill and just read for
comprehension, not so you can hear all of the words in your
head. Use some of the tips above, and you will see some
results when it comes to picking up the speed with your
reading.
Chapter 8: Meta Guiding Techniques
 
Meta Guiding is another technique that you are able to use
when it comes to speed reading. This one sounds really
difficult, but it is actually pretty easy and can make it easier
for you to keep a steady pace with your reading. For this one,
you will need to use your finger, a pointer such as a pencil,
or even an index card to help guide your reading. You would
use this guide to help trace in front of the line of vision you
have as you read. This is a motion guide, and it can help the
eyes to maintain their fluency and speed while also reducing
the regressive or erratic eye patterns that you may have that
end up slowing your reading down.
 
The good news is that there are a few different tools that you
are able to use in order to make the meta guiding technique
work. For the first one, we are going to grab a pencil or a pen
and place it to the right of the first word that you are going
to read. Then, you will move the utensil all across the line
from word to word, going with a speed that is faster, but
which the eyes will be able to keep up with. This will force
the eyes to keep up with the pen or pencil, and it kind of
pulls them along a bit more. If you are working on stopping
the subvocalization, you need to increase your reading
speed.
 
Another tool that you are able to use is to grab a sheet of
paper or an index card. Use this to place it underneath the
line that you are reading. This is going to help you to keep
focused on the information as well and can help you to get
the speed to keep going as fast as you would like. It will also
work to keep the eyes steady and can keep you from getting
distracted. This one often works the best if you want to go at
a steady rate and if you are utilizing the method of chunking
along the way.
 
There is another variation on this second tool. Sometimes,
you happen to have issues with wanting to go back through
the information that you have read and can’t stick with just
going on to the next line. With this option, you would use the
paper or the note card in order to cover up the words that
you have already read. You can push the paper or the note
card down the page, and if you aren’t reading fast enough,
you miss out. It keeps you focused on the work, avoids you
looking back up at the information, and can ensure that you
get faster as the paper or note card moves faster.
 
Along with the note card or paper method, if you are having
issues with chunking and reading faster, take the caret
symbols and place it along all of the cards, about an inch
apart. This is going to be a great way to ensure that you are
learning how to read the thing in phrases rather than reading
the individual words like before. As you get better with the
chunking method, you will be able to move the carets further
apart so that you are able to do larger areas of chunking to
read even faster.
 
Both of these tools can work well, and if you are short on
having a tool available that can help you, it is just fine to
work with your finger as a guide. The point of this is to try
and push your reading speed along a little bit. Some people
will think that their reading speed is getting faster, but they
aren’t really pushing themselves, When you use your finger,
or a note card and paper, or even a pen, you can truly watch
how fast you are going. You can keep the object moving at a
steady speed and keep your eyes moving, even if they
happen to miss something in the process. This can even be a
great way to see if your chunking practice is going well
because you can choose the speed that will force you to use
chunking along the way.
 
For some people, it is easy enough to learn speed reading
without needing a guide or a tool that will help to dictate the
speed or keeps you moving along, but for many readers who
are dealing with the issues of subvocalization or who need
help pushing themselves along a bit, the meta guiding
technique may be the one that you really need to see some
great results.
Chapter 9: Skimming and Mapping
 
For this chapter, we are going to take some time to learn
about skimming and mapping, two really great strategies
that will help you to speed up your reading levels a little bit.
They are each going to be used for different reasons, and
you may not need to use them all the time. They are the fast
part of the speed reading range, and people who are able to
do the skimming will be able to become the more flexible
readers. They will have a purpose to their reading, and they
are able to get ahold of the information that they need pretty
quickly without having to waste a lot of time. Even better,
they know that they don’t need to read every word in the
document in order to increase the reading speed. They know
what specific information they need to be looking for and
which of the methods they should be using.
 
What is Skimming?
 
To start, we need to understand what skimming is all about.
Skimming is a great tool to use when you need to read more
information in much less time. With skimming, you are going
to be looking just for the main ideas, or the general ideas,
that are inside of the document, which makes it best suited
for working with nonfiction works. When you are skimming,
your overall understanding is going to be reduced a bit
before you aren’t reading all of it, but you are basically
looking for the information that is important to your purpose.
Skimming will take place when you are reading so that you
are able to look for a few of the details in addition to some of
the main ideas.
 
The next question that you may have is how do you get
started with skimming? There are many people who feel that
skimming is kind of all over the place; that is, it is all about
just the eyes falling wherever they do naturally and you just
hope that they pick up in the right place in the manuscript.
However, there is some structure that comes in when you
are skimming. You don’t need to read all of the words on a
page, but if you hope to skim in the proper manner, you will
be able to get all of the information that you need. With
skimming, what you are reading is going to be more
important than what you are trying to leave out. So how do
you figure out what information you should read and what
information you don't necessarily need?
 
Let's take a look at what you would do if you're doing
research on a website or on a long chapter. By reading just a
bit of the information, such as the first few paragraphs, you
should be able to get a pretty good idea of all the
information that the writer wants to discuss, as long as they
wrote it out properly. Once you have an idea of where this
information is heading, you should start by reading just the
first sentence that occurs on all of the paragraphs. These are
known as the topic sentences because they will give you the
main idea of each paragraph. For the most part, you will get
some of the basics that will go on in the document from
reading just these first sentences.
 
When the topic sentence is done, you should do a quick skim
of the rest of that paragraphs to find out if there is other
information that you need to keep track of, such as events,
dates, and names. You will not read all of the sentences in
this manner, just skim for some of the important information.
Once you skim for some of the important information in that
paragraph, you will move on to try and find the next topic
sentence and repeat the steps again. When you get to the
last few paragraphs that are in the document or chapter, you
will want to stop and read through these again. These final
few paragraphs are often going to be the summary and
conclusion of the information, so you should stop with the
skimming at this point and read through these details.
 
With the skimming, if you feel that you are gathering a lot of
the information and you are understanding what is going on
in that document, then you are doing it well. Over time you
will be able to go through this much faster without having to
miss out on some of the information that is so important. If
you find that you get to the end and you still don’t feel like
you understand what is going on in the information, you
need to work on the skimming a little bit more.
 
Keep in mind that when you are skimming and you do this so
quickly, you are not going to get the normal comprehension
that you would get with some of the other options. This
means that it is probably not the best idea to use skimming
all of the time when you are working on reading, but if you
are just looking to get the general ideas from something, it
can work out well.
 
Let's look at an example of this. With this one, let's say that
you need to make a presentation for class and you are
required to give a report in just a few days about some of the
first computers that were ever made. You are able to find
four newspaper articles and six books on the topic. But since
it is important to get all of this work done in just a few days,
you won't be able to read through all of the information that
is inside all of these sources, but it is still important that you
have some quality information ready for the presentation.
 
This would be a good time for you to work on the process of
skimming. This process will allow you to go through the
information quickly so that you are able to get as much out
of each of them without having to miss out on sleep just to
get them read. It is also a method that will help you to
increase how much usable material you can use for this
research project. It also shows that you are able to use the
skimming method no matter what type of resource that you
are using.
 
In addition, this is a really great review tip when you are
getting ready for an exam. You may have a big exam that is
coming up soon, but you don’t want to go through all of the
material and read it word for word again. This takes up too
much time, and you want to be as effective as possible when
you study. For this one, you would be able to use skimming
in order to go through the material quickly, figure out the
things that you already have down, and then figure out the
stuff that you may need to study a bit more. It is way more
efficient and will help you to not waste time in the process.
 
It is important to know when skimming is a good idea, as
well as when it is something that is going to limit your
comprehension and will make it hard for you to learn what
you need to. While you are reading, there are a few
questions that you should ask in order to decide if it is a
good idea to skim or not. If you are able to answer yes to any
of the following questions, skimming may be the right
answer that you are looking for:
 
● Is the material considered nonfiction?
Do you have a lot of information that you need to read
through and just a small amount of time?
● Do you already have some background information
about this document and the topics inside of it?
Is it possible to skip some of the material and still get
the main idea that comes with it?
 
For example, if you feel that you have sufficient knowledge
of the topic or that the information is not all that important
to you, you may want to just skip it all together and not read
it. While most of us will get a document and feel like we need
to read every last word in order to get the benefits, learning
what information we can skip and then not read that
information can be one of the most efficient ways to get the
information.
 
What is Scanning?
 
Another tool that we can use, depending on the document
that we are reading, is known as scanning. With skimming,
we went through and looked at all of the information that
was inside the document, just at a faster pace and kind of
skipping over things, but with scanning, we are only looking
through the document in order to find a specific piece of
information without having to read the rest of the
information there. For example, if you are looking at the
cable guide for a specific show that you want to watch, you
are using scanning.
 
In order to see some success with scanning, you need to
have a good understanding of how all of the material is
going to be structured as well as a good amount of
comprehension for what you are reading. This is all going to
work together to help you to locate the specific information
that is needed, without having to read through the whole
thing. Scanning can also be used in order to help you find
out important information and some of the details in a hurry.
 
So how are you going to improve speed with the scanning
technique? Because you are used to scanning a lot of other
information, sometimes without even realizing it, you will
find that scanning can actually be a pretty simple tool to
work with. First, you need to establish the purpose, the
information that you are looking for, then you need to locate
the material that has the information, and then learn about
some of the methods used to structure the information.
 
While there are some differences in how this is done, most of
the material that you will want to scan is going to be
arranged in a specific way using alphabetically,
chronologically, non-alphabetically, by category, or by text.
When we are talking about the alphabetical information, you
will see that the information is arranged from A to Z in order.
But if we are talking about the chronological information, we
are talking about information that is arranged in time or in a
numerical order. If you are looking at something that is like a
television listing, you will see that it is arranged in a non-
alphabetical order. The category listing is going to be things
like auto parts, and the textural option is going to be
something like an encyclopedia entry. Understanding what
system is used will make it easier for you to navigate
through the information and find what you are looking for.
 
You may find that using your hand can be really helpful when
you are scanning. Think about how often you use your hands
in order to find some of the information that you need, such
as looking to find the time for a meeting on your calendar or
looking for a word in the dictionary. This is a great way to
help keep your attention in one place and can help you to
not lose your place in the document when looking for the
material.
 
Scanners are also great at using their peripheral vision to
help them out and to do this process the most effectively.
When you are moving your hand down a list of names, for
example, you are not just seeing the name that your finger is
right on, but you will also be able to see a few the name that
is above and below it. You should allow your eyes to do some
of the work when you scan to make it more effective.
 
Your purpose with scanning is to learn what the keywords are
supposed to be and then keep these in mind while you are
doing the process. Suppose you are looking for the time a
train will leave one city to get to another. You would want to
keep the keywords being something about the cities you are
traveling from and to. If you are looking for a printer for your
computer that has a specific code number, you would want
to use that code number to be the key word that you work
with.
 
As you can see, scanning is a great way to get a lot of
information in a short amount of time, but when is it a good
idea to scan? Obviously, it is not going to work for everything
that you do. Many times scanning is done to help you find
out if the information that you want is inside of the
document before you go through and read the whole thing.
For example, if you are working on a report on a specific
topic, you would be able to use scanning, such as going
through the table of contents, to find out if your chosen
information is there, rather than trying to read a 300-page
book and finding that it has nothing that you want inside of
it.
 
Most of us actually are pretty good at scanning and have
probably used it at some point or another without even
realizing what we are doing. It is often not enough to help us
get the best comprehension of the material, but it can save
time since we can just jump to the information that we need
inside the document or even find out that this information is
not what we are looking for in the first place.
 
The more you are able to practice with skimming and
scanning, the faster you will get with your speed reading
needs and the better off you will be with getting things done.
They are not always the most effective options for helping
you to get the best understanding out of the information, but
they can be helpful for getting things done and helping you
to at least get the general idea of what is going on inside the
document. For people who have trouble with missing out on
words because they think that they need to read each one to
understand what is in the text, you need to learn how to give
yourself permission to skip some of the words. You are never
going to be a good speed reader and get through things
quickly if you have to read each word, and skimming and
scanning can be good ways to train yourself off from reading
all the words so that you can get to speed reading in no
time.
 
 
Conclusion
 
Congratulations on finishing this book! You have now learned
the main tools that can be employed to greatly advance your
reading ability for increased speed and improved
comprehension. Whether you are looking to absorb
information for an academic exam, or reading through an
important report for work, speed reading is an extremely
beneficial skill that will aid in your success no matter what
you are trying to accomplish. Continue to practice these
skills every time you read, and before you know it you will
have a habit that is like second nature to you! Keep learning,
and remember that knowledge is power!
 
 The Persuasion Equation
 

Influence Others With the

Science of Persuasive
Psychology
Table of Contents
 
Introduction
Chapter 1: Why You Need Persuasion
What is Persuasion?
Chapter 2: Why Understanding the Science is
Important
Chapter 3: Persuasiveness and Your Brain
Life on Trial
Chapter 4: Unspoken Communication
The Snap Judgment
Chapter 5: Understanding the Motivators Behind the
Decisions You Make
The Pyramid of Needs
Difference Between a Desire and a Need
Chapter 6: Focus on Similarities
Chapter 7: Understanding Resistance and How to Use
It
How to Overcome Resistance and Be Persuasive
Tap Into Their Belief System
The Power of Freedom
Chapter 8: Effective Persuasion Techniques
Analyze the Problem
Surround the Facts With Imagination
 Demonstrate Your Knowledge or Skill
Maximize/Minimize the Situation
Trigger the Motivators
Think Positive
Give Assurances
Persuade Yourself First
Start With Your Own Inner Feelings and Emotions
You May Need to Change Your Belief System
Conclusion
Introduction
 
Persuasion is an essential part of human communication and
is a powerful tool when used in the right way. In this book,
you learn many of the same secrets used by those who have
successfully built up an influence on the people in their lives.
While the art of persuasion has been a key tool in the lives of
marketers and business people of all sorts, you learn that
persuasion is a tool we can all use to our advantage.
Whether you’re a business owner trying to boost your
bottom line or you’re a mother trying to convince her
children to eat their vegetables, persuasion is how you will
accomplish your goals.
After learning the techniques in this book and the basic
neuroscience behind it, you’ll be better prepared to get the
things you want when you want them. You’ll learn how the
brain processes information, makes decisions, and how to
make gentle nudges in one direction to get people to do
what you want them to do, what is the compelling force
behind the decisions people make and how to tap into that
force to nudge them in the direction you want to go.
Once you understand the basic principles included in this
book, you’ll wonder why you waited so long. The basic
knowledge and skills in these pages have the potential to
change lives simply by getting people to change their minds.
The strategies included in this book will help you to get
ahead of the crowd and stay there making you a winner in
your own life.
It may be surprising to know that we all need to use the art
of persuasion in some aspect of our lives. In fact, while you
may have purchased this book in an effort to boost your
business or to advance your life in some way, the reality is
that you’re already used persuasion tactics to get where you
are now. Perhaps today, you’ve convinced your child to eat
their vegetables or you’ve reasoned with your partner over
some household chore. You might have even been able to
convince your faithful pet that it’s time to take a bath. The
reality is that persuasion is a major part of all of our lives and
the skill is something that has already been hardwired into
our brain.
The challenge in exercising this skill has little to do with
mastering other types of arts but it has to do with
understanding some of the basic fundamentals of the mind.
We all have the ability but it is actually knowing how to
recognize it and use it to our best advantage that will help us
to achieve our goals. We hope that through the pages of this
book, you will be able to bring to them up to the surface and
put those techniques you already know out in plain view
where you can analyze them and make them more tangible
thus unlocking your hidden potential. The more you know
about them the more comfortable you’ll be with using them
and the more advantages you’ll get in applying them in your
daily life.
In the following pages, you will learn why everyone should
and in fact needs to master this skill and why understanding
the neuroscience behind it is a key factor in your success.
You’ll not only know how to use it but also be able to see
when it is being used on you.
This does not mean that mastering the art of persuasion will
guarantee you get everything you wish for all the time - but
it will definitely supercharge your ability to get what you
deserve. Mastering the techniques found in this book could
be the very thing that will help you to land that job, seal the
deal in a relationship, or negotiate for that new car you’ve
been eyeing. Don’t you deserve to get what you want in life?
As you learn more about this skill and how it can improve
your life you’ll come to realize that persuasion is not always
about getting others to follow your lead and do what you
want them to do but often involves understanding why they
think the way they do and the reasons for the decisions they
make. The more you come to understand their resistance the
easier it is to know what’s needed to get them to change
their minds.
The following chapters will discuss::
● How to hone our skills of persuasion
● Why it’s necessary to understand the science
● How we can use non-verbal communication to boost
our persuasive message
● What motivates people to make the choices they do
● and effective techniques that can give you influence
over someone else
 
So, whether your goal is to boost your marketing skills for
your business or to get help when you need it, learning how
to make use of your own art of persuasion can make a major
difference in your life.
Chapter 1: Why You Need Persuasion
 
We all like to think that we are people with minds of our own.
The idea of someone being able to wield power over our
ability to analyze and decide for ourselves can be
frightening. However, it is a basic fact of life that every
decision we make is based on several different types of
influences in our lives. We make all of our decisions based on
both internal and external pressures for us to do so. We may
have made up our minds in one direction and then
something happens and we start thinking in an entirely
different way. The reality is that changing our minds is a
natural part of the human psyche and mastering this skill is
just part of being human.
Unlike any other creation that walks this earth, humans are
some of the most social of all living species. Our ability to
communicate is key to our survival and is the main reason
why we go to such great lengths to make sure that others
understand us. We even work out our communication skills
without even thinking about. Think about the automatic
mental game your mind plays as soon as you enter into a
room. Immediately the brain scans the room searching for
those people that we view as important to us. We look for
our friends, for those who think and act like we do, and those
we would hope we can build a connection to. Our minds do
this instinctively; there is no planning or plotting involved but
the end result is that we surround ourselves with people
we’d like to influence us or those we feel confident we can
influence.
Our brains divide our social connections into two camps. The
first group includes those people who we perceive will be of
some benefit to us in the future and the second are those
who we connect with emotionally or have some common
bond or goals we share.
There are many aspects in our life that require us to be
persuasive:
Marketing: If you are in any type of business, your ability to
attract and keep customers will be directly affected by how
persuasive you can be. Any business can get off to a good
start with supportive friends and family members but to give
your business any kind of staying power, you’ll have to
convince complete strangers to trust in you and the products
or services you offer.
Management: Another crucial aspect of your business is
the ability manage employees and get them to follow your
directions. Part of being a good manager is being able to
influence another person’s behavior. But the skill is not
limited to business but can also be used when interacting
with family members, in social circles, and a wide range of
other areas of one’s life. Anytime you need to motivate
someone to follow your directions, you’ll need persuasive
speaking.
Teaching: A large part of teaching is influencing your
students in some way or another. Whether you’re teaching
pre-school or at the university level, getting students to
grasp your lessons and apply them in their lives will require
you to have some pretty good persuasive arguments. A good
teacher knows how to guide people’s behavior so you need
to know how people respond to others and use that to your
advantage.
Charities: Charities use persuasive speech in every aspect
of their business. Their goals are to motivate people to
volunteer, make donations, and to speak out against and for
all sorts of causes, often without any form of compensation.
The success of a charity will depend largely on how effective
they are in connecting with their audience emotionally and
moving them to take action. To do this you need to influence
people’s opinions.
For Help: Whether you’re in need of someone to bag your
groceries at the supermarket or you want that landlord to
choose you over a hundred other tenants, it is the power of
influence that will move them to do so. It is one thing to ask
someone to do something for you and another entirely to
persuade them to do it. Knowing how to make a request so
people are likely to respond can get you the help you need.
Opinions: Whether you’re an environmentalist, politician, or
social activist, by persuasion you get them to become more
favorable to your cause.
Because persuasion is a natural part of our mental and
emotional fabric it is a key element in giving our life
foundation. Everyone uses it so whether you become an
expert at persuasion or not, the reality is simple. If you’re not
doing the persuading the odds are quite high that you’re
being persuaded yourself.
 
What is Persuasion?
 
Persuasion is simply using language to motivate people to do
things your way. It is an art that has gone back for thousands
of years. The first philosopher to analyze what is involved in
persuasive thinking was Aristotle. He concluded that there
were in fact, three different aspects that needed to be
applied to become persuasive.
Ethos or credibility. People had to believe and trust your
expertise on a specific topic.
 
Logos or logical reasoning. What you say needs to make
sense to your target audience.
Pathos or emotion. You need to give your audience an
emotional connection to what you want to say.
So, whether your goal is to prove a specific fact,
demonstrate value, or to move someone to do something for
you, knowing how to affect these aspects in your
communication can go a long way in helping you to reach
your goal.
Because we need all of these factors when it comes to
getting through our lives, learning how to be persuasive may
very well be the single most important tool we can use on
our path to success.
Chapter 2: Why Understanding the
Science is Important
 
There are countless people that will tell you their techniques
for persuading someone to do what you want. But when you
listen to them you find it is merely their opinion or ideas on
how to convince people. However, their teachings do not
explain how effective their approach was or even if they’ve
tried it before. It may work in a single instance or it might
not work at all.
However, by learning the science behind the art of
persuasion you come to realize why a certain technique
works it will help you to realize that the strategy you use has
been used before and has produced proven results.
The techniques included in this book have been developed
based on scientific studies, which can give you confidence in
how effective you will be in applying them when you’re
trying to convince someone to change their mind on a
particular topic.
For centuries, people have tried all sorts of things in order to
persuade someone to do what they need them to do yet the
knowledge of how the brain works in this regard was
practically non-existent. There were a few noble philosophers
who had delved into the topic but the body of knowledge
was still rather limited. However, over the years, countless
studies have been performed, each geared to focus on
various theories behind persuasive conversation that today
has developed into its own field of science.
Being able to understand the inner workings of the brain and
the various stages of mental processing that is involved in
moving people to make a decision has allowed many people
to build up crucial skills they may have otherwise
overlooked.
While persuasive speaking is not anything new, its influence
has been used in every aspect of our lives. It’s widely used in
social circles, an essential part of religious and spiritual
ceremonies, and definitely a key element in the world of
business. To understand it clearly, it involves much more
than just observing what we see around us and reacting to it
but it means coming to know and understand why people
behave in certain ways, how they feel about certain things,
and uncovering the very forces that motivate them to do
what they do.
Once you know the science behind decision making and
what it takes to change, people will naturally be drawn to
you an view you as a leader, will come to you for advice, put
their trust in you and will open up to the power behind your
words.
Before we can learn the simple strategies that have proven
effective over the years, learning the basic fundamentals will
help you to identify persuasive techniques in everything
around you. Understanding the science helps you to see
what tools advertisers are using and why they work, the
tricks politicians use to gain your support, and what your
bosses may even be doing to get you to follow their
instructions.
In short, the science opens your eyes to a whole new world;
one that has been played out right in front of you but as if
hidden behind a veil that you will just now be privy to see.
Once you know which buttons to push and when, your ability
to persuade people will be stronger than ever. It will be as if
you had super-powers beyond human ability. You’ll be well on
your way to an effective persuasive conversationalist that
loads of people will come to love and respect.
Chapter 3: Persuasiveness and Your
Brain
 
The brain is one of the most fascinating organs in the human
body. While we are a far cry from understanding everything
about it over the last century or so we have come to learn a
lot. In fact, neuroscience has become a hot topic on
university campuses, science research, and a load of other
programs across the board.
No matter where you live, you’ve been advised on the right
foods to eat, the right vitamins to take, and the right
practices to do in order to maximize your ability to exercise
your brain and get it to its peak performance. So, it just
makes sense that we try to understand what’s happening in
the brain during a decision making process when we’re
trying to influence people to follow us in some form or
fashion.
Before you can begin to hone your skills in persuasiveness,
you need to know the steps the brain takes in the decision
making process. One cannot begin to persuade a person to
change his mind on any topic without understanding this
fundamental aspect of the mind.
Every day, we each make thousands of decisions that can
vary from very small and insignificant choices to life altering
ones. The brain is the organ that makes decision making
possible. For years, researchers have been trying to decide
just how the brain filters through the millions of bits of
information it receives every day to narrow a decision down
to one single point.
Life on Trial
 
The decision making process in the brain functions in a
manner very similar to what happens in court every day.
When a choice needs to be made the evidence is put
forward. The brain collects visual cues, sounds, and other
sensory data and “logs” it into its sensory circuits. Other
cells in the brain then take on the role of jurors and weigh
each piece of evidence presented. Once enough evidence is
presented a decision is made.
The area of the brain where these decisions are made are
not always the same. Depending on the type of sensory
input the brain receives a different section of the brain may
be involved.
After careful analysis, researchers have determined that
there are actually two separate networks at work in the brain
when it comes to making choices. The first determines that
actual value of the object or condition in question and the
potential reward while the second works out the actual
behavior expected of the individual.
It seems obvious that the process of making decisions is part
of our natural makeup. We do this instinctively without much
forethought. In fact, many of our decisions are made without
us being aware of it. We instantly turn our head in the
direction of sound, our eyes scan for things to set our gaze
upon, and smells automatically draw our focus. Through
research, we’ve come to learn that this process is performed
in different parts of the brain’s frontal lobe. This is the area
that is responsible for planning and/or reasoning on both
abstract and concrete ideas.
For example, studies of stroke victims have shown that those
who suffered damage to the front part of the region showed
difficulty making abstract decisions whereas those who may
have suffered damage to the back part of the region had
difficulty with the physical aspects of a function. So, a stroke
victim may not be able to decide whether or not to wash the
dishes but the person who had damage to the rear part of
the frontal lobe may not be able to perform the physical
function of washing the dishes. In both cases, the dishes
don’t get washed because the action required was processed
in a different section of the brain.
Depending on the region of the brain, decisions can be made
based on a number of rapid and complex calculations
performed in the neurons. According to one study on
monkeys, researchers were able to predict the monkey’s
decisions solely based on the electrical activity of the
neurons found in the parietal lobe of the brain.
This neuronal activity not only showed how the monkey
made its choice but researchers were also able to see just
how confident the monkey was in the decision that was
made. Through the course of the study, each time a monkey
made a correct decision it was rewarded. They had the
option of making a selection that would give them a sure but
small reward or they could choose another option that could
give them an even larger reward but was not guaranteed.
Whenever they lacked confidence in their options, they
invariably went towards the sure bet and the activity in the
parietal lobe changed showing their confidence level.
This is key to helping us to understand the science behind
persuasion. If a decision goes wrong in someone’s mind, the
orbitofrontal cortex lights up. This area is located at the front
of the brain and sits right behind the eyes and forces us to
alter our behavior. In cases, where this area of the brain is
damaged (drug addicts, accidents, lack of sleep, etc.) the
inability to weigh the rewards of decisions and adjustments
in certain situations is impaired.
Interestingly enough, research studies have discovered that
it is in this same region of the brain where the dorsomedial
prefrontal cortex is found. This is where one has the ability to
adopt another person’s perspective and/or persuade them to
change their viewpoint. According to their findings reported
on in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience (2009) the more
persuasive a message was the more of this area of the brain
became active. One of the researchers reported that “our
data are consistent with the notion that if you can get
someone to step into your shoes psychologically, you might
be halfway home in terms of persuading them to see the
content of the message the way you want them to.”
Research suggests that empathy is a very important
component of persuading others.
There are two other sections of the brain that can help us to
understand how the brain processes persuasion tactics.
The medial prefrontal cortex and the precuneus, both of
which sit near the back of the head. These are the regions
that are responsible for self-refection and they generally
become more active when given more tailored messages like
suggestions on how to quit smoking or recommendations to
use sunscreen.
While more study is required to fully understand the process
the mind takes when presented with persuasive information,
these studies make it clear that certain types of sensory
input can make it possible to persuade people to change
their way of thinking. Suffice it to say, that the more you
understand this aspect of persuasion the more effective you
will be when you apply your strategies.
Chapter 4: Unspoken Communication
 
One of the first things we often overlook when
communicating with others is the unhidden language that is
universal across all cultures. Whether we’re meeting
someone for the first time or we’ve known them for years,
we begin to understand and relate to one another even
before the first words are spoken.
A major part of our communication is through the language
of our bodies. Estimates show that our non-verbal
communication skills make up well over half of what we say.
These can include our facial expressions, posture, pitch and
tone of our voice, and our physical reactions to external
stimuli.
When you are in the process of persuading someone to your
way of thinking, it helps to realize that their mind is not only
going to be focused on the words you say but also on those
subtle cues your body is sending out. With that in mind, it is
easy to see why paying attention to the non-verbal
messages you send out can help you to send the right
message to those you speak with when you’re trying to sway
them to see things your way.
The Snap Judgment
 
We’ve all made “snap judgments” from time to time when
the occasion calls for a decision to be made instantaneously.
What you may not realize is that the brain only allows for
these kinds of quick decisions under very specific
circumstances. Our ability to make these decisions quickly is
part of our own physiological make-up and is found in the
Brain Stem (sometimes referred to as the “lizard brain.”) This
is the area of the brain known to control our survival instincts
and the choices that come from there are usually closely
related to our continued existence. They help us identify in
an instant if someone or something is our…
● friend
● foe
● potential sexual partner
● neutral
 
We sometimes refer to the snap judgment as our “sixth
sense.” It is that innate gut feeling that we have when we
meet someone for the first time or are faced with a particular
situation. The question is however, how does our mind
determine in an instant whether someone we interact with
falls into one of these categories? It is usually by these
unspoken cues that we all send off without realizing it.
In general, our ‘lizard brain’ is preprogrammed to be
indifferent or neutral and unless the signals we send out say
something to the contrary, the people you meet will be
perceived that way. It does not automatically see the need to
classify everything we come into contact with into one of the
four basic categories. So, when practicing the art of
persuasion, one of the first things you need to do is to
activate this primitive part of the brain. It is difficult to
persuade someone who sees you as neutral or unimportant
to their life. As long as the brain sees you as non-influential
you will not be able to persuade them to your way of
thinking.
Ideally, you want to make the shift from neutral to friend by
sending out signals through your own body language. There
have been several research studies that have shown that by
applying just a few basic tips on non-verbal communications
you can at the very least get the individual’s attention so
that they are paying attention and are ready to listen to your
message when you are ready to speak.
Smile: A genuine smile says a lot about you. It is important
however that your smile is authentic. A genuine smile is not
just a matter of curling up the corners of your mouth but
involves the whole face. The eyes light up, the muscles that
enlarge the cheeks contract, and the teeth are exposed. The
orbicularis oculi muscles around the eyes also contract
making the eyes close a little, giving you those laugh lines
while pulling the cheeks upwards at the same time.
When we fake smile, those muscles remain relaxed making it
easy for many to spot a fake when they see one. A genuine
smile will have slightly closed eyes, crow’s feet around the
edges, and both upper and lower teeth exposed.
Observe these features in others and copy them when they
smile and you’ll see how easy it is to disarm the individual
with your new welcoming smile.
Researchers also suggest that if you really want to disarm
them, delay your smile for a moment. Start your smile after
you’ve made eye contact with the individual and then reveal
it slowly and naturally. This will give them the feeling that
you are smiling because of their presence. By doing this you
tap into their primitive brain and they will feel much more
drawn to you. When you’re ready to speak, they’ll be ready
to listen.
Eye Contact: It is said that the eyes are the windows to our
souls and using them can create a powerful tool of
persuasion. It is one thing to get someone’s attention and
another thing entirely to hold it. When you are speaking, try
focusing just beyond the person you’re speaking to; it will
appear as if you’re looking directly at them. Your eyes can
create an invisible line connecting the two of you together
and as long as you maintain it you silently cement the
relationship between you.
Caution is warranted however, when it comes to using eye
contact properly. The technique could backfire and give you
the opposite result. Using this kind of connection does not
always work. According to a study performed by researcher
Frances Chin and published in Psychological Science,
“In the case where the listener was sympathetic to the
speaker … we found that more eye contact was associated
with more receptiveness. … Our research specifically showed
that eye contact could backfire (i.e. lead to less persuasion)
in cases where the speaker and listener start out disagreeing
about an issue. It’s in this case that we believe that too
much eye contact may be perceived as threatening, or as an
attempt to dominate.”
For eye contact to be effective, you need to observe closely
how your listener is responding. If you sense that they are
feeling uncomfortable or are showing signs that they are
being intimidated, you might want to ease up a bit and let
your gaze leave and come back. Follow the cues of your
listener when using eye contact.
Open Hands: Your hands say a lot about what you are
thinking. Gestures are a normal way of communicating. If
you don’t believe this, try telling your favorite story to
someone while sitting on your hands. You’ll quickly realize
that you forget some very important details or aspects of the
story and your listener won’t receive it very well.
That said, the use of hand gestures is a key element in the
art of persuasion. It is important that you are very aware of
what your hands are doing while you are speaking,
especially the palms. As Allan Pease, one of the world’s most
influential speakers on body language says, “there are more
connections between the brain and the palms of your hands
than with any other part of the body.” By speaking with the
palms facing upward you present yourself as more likable
and persuasive. He points out the feelings people have when
they watch the Nazi salute as opposed to the feelings evoked
when the same gesture is done with the palms facing down.
The way you shake hands also sends a different type of
signal. Depending on the orientation of the palm when the
gesture is made you can either communicate trust or
rejection from the listener. According to the book The 4 Ways
You Can Use Body Language to Influence Success by
Christian Jarrett, a person can be perceived as more
confident and effective simply by basis of the hand gestures
they use.
While most people see the gesture as just that, a lot can be
communicated in the way you do it. The sideways handshake
can signal who has more authority in the relationship. Those
who shake with their hand on top will subconsciously be
viewed as having more authority. Shaking with one hand and
placing the other on the other person’s arm or shoulder
reflects the depth of the relationship. The higher the
placement of the hand the more of a leadership role you’ll
have.
It would be worth your while to take some time to study the
different hand gestures you make and the kind of messages
they send so that you can be sure that your body is not
contradicting the words you say.
Face With a Full Body: When engaging with an individual
one-on-one, make sure that you are facing them with your
whole body. Avoid facing them on an angle or presenting
your shoulder to them. When you face them head on you
send the message that you are open and have nothing to
hide, your attention is directed completely in their direction.
This position helps to cement the relationship between you
and they will mirror your actions.
Micro Expressions: If you’ve seen TV shows like Lie to Me
then you are aware of the term “micro expressions.” These
are small involuntary expressions that are recognized across
all different cultures and show the true feelings of someone.
These tiny expressions speak volumes about what’s on a
person’s mind. If you are keyed into these expressions that
only last a fraction of a second you can quickly grasp what a
person is really feeling.
As you engage with others, watch for these facial
expressions and you will begin to hear what others are not
saying. For example, speaking positively about something
while shaking their head or with a wandering gaze can reveal
that they are not telling you the whole truth.
Statistics vary but it has been determined that more than
half of what we communicate is non-verbal and these micro
expressions can say a lot. While you cannot create your own
micro expressions, you can observe them in others. This way
you can adjust your speech or argument to help put them at
ease. If they are showing avoidance or irritation in your
direction you can adjust your language to help them relax.
Posture: Good posture can also evoke a sense of trust and
confidence in you. There have been several studies
performed that revealed those who stand or sit with a
straight back and keep their shoulders pulled back will make
one appear more skilled and knowledgeable. When listeners
feel that way, the speaker is much more likely to be taken
seriously. It shows they have self-confidence in their words
and what they are doing, which will naturally help the
listener to build up confidence in them as well.
Voice Variations: Your tone of voice, its pitch, volume, and
rhythm also tells a lot about you. The voice is unique in that
it can say a lot about how you feel about a situation. A
listener can easily tell if you truly believe what you’re talking
about, how passionate you are about your topic, or if you
have any doubts. This will be reflected in the speed at which
you speak (those who are really excited about something will
talk faster), the tone you use, and the pitch. Try listening to
yourself as you speak in various situations and you will be
able to quickly tell how your voice sounds to others.
Learning about how your body talks can help you to perceive
how people view you and your ideas as well as tell you how
to gain people’s confidence. While this information may be
new to you, it is something that you already know how to do.
From the beginning, we talked about how we are all
hardwired to use the art of persuasion in our lives. The key
here is not just to learn about these things but also to
become aware of how they are used every day. Eventually,
they will become second nature to you and the small
adjustments you make will become part of your daily habits.
Chapter 5: Understanding the
Motivators Behind the Decisions You
Make
 
On the surface, we are all unique and distinct individuals.
Our choices are based on our individual circumstances,
backgrounds, and environment. You can grow up with the
same family dynamics, guidelines, and support system as
your siblings and yet, you’ll end up wanting to carve out your
own separate piece of the world. No two people will have the
exact same viewpoints and desires in any given situation.
The Pyramid of Needs
When developing your art of persuasion, this is a factor that
cannot be changed no matter what you do. However, to
introduce a convincing element into your interactions with
people, there should be enough similarities found between
you that will allow you to tap into the basic fundamental
desires and needs of those you are speaking to.
 
Several psychiatrists accomplished this through numerous
studies conducted over the years that revealed that there is
actually a “pyramid of needs” that all people possess. By
tapping into this pyramid, you can put yourself in a position
of influence and motivate people to do what you want them
to do.
At the very bottom of this pyramid are the basic needs we all
share. These are part of the necessities of life for everyone
and include things like food, clothing, and shelter but on the
higher layers of the pyramid you’ll find other essential needs
that people naturally long for. The ability to feel safe and
secure, a sense of belonging, self-esteem, knowledge,
aesthetics, and finally some form of spirituality can all be
found somewhere among the different layers of this pyramid.
 
  
What the studies revealed was that we all instinctively want
to secure the lower levels of the pyramid for ourselves but
once fulfilled we will naturally be motivated to acquire other
levels of the pyramid to give our life meaning. Thus, once
physical needs are met we will then attempt to secure the
more abstract aspects of our lives.
As you interact with different people you’ll begin to notice
that each person is motivated to reach for a different level
on the pyramid based on where they are in meeting their
unique combination of needs. As you come to understand
these different needs you start to understand the motivators
in people’s lives. You will be able to see what they are afraid
of, what they are reaching for, and what their innate desires
are. Using this information you can become a powerful tool
of persuasion.
Still, much more is involved than just understanding what
motivates each person. While every person may have a
motivation to fulfill that need, the fuel that propels them to
action is their emotions. Therefore you also need to tap into
the emotional needs of your audience. There are at least six
basic elements involved in exercising this type of persuasion.
Promise of Surety: When your target audience is assured
that you can help them meet that innate need they will be
more likely to put their trust in you. Ask yourself how you
can help them to have more confidence in you and what you
have to offer and you will open up a wide door of
opportunities.
Variety: One of the biggest obstacles to meeting certain
needs is routine. When your need is for acceptance, for
example, doing the same thing day in and day out can
prevent you from acquiring it. However, when you can offer
them something that can change things up a bit, you offer
them additional options and possibilities for meeting those
motivating needs.
Importance: Everyone has a need to stand out in some way
from the crowd. By providing them with something that can
help them accomplish that you are able to persuade them to
listen to you. This is why many seek to purchase fancy cars,
elaborate houses, or designer clothes. The emotion that fuels
this type of need is often the fear of being rejected or looking
foolish among those they seek acceptance from. Find ways
to show them that your product, service, or advice will give
them significance in the eyes of their peers.
Love: The need for love is bred into us from the time we
take our first breath. We all need to be connected to
someone or something and is an important part of the
human experience. People go to great lengths to find that
acceptance from things like buying cosmetics and the
clothing we choose to the kinds of foods we eat or the
exercises we do. Once you learn how to promote love in your
persuasion approach you will find yourself with a large
following.
Growth: We all grow in different ways and at different rates.
People can grow through education or experience. Self-help
books are flying off the shelves in bookstores all over the
world and resorts are making fortunes on giving people all
sorts of unique experiences. Once your listeners can identify
with the growth potential you offer them, they will readily be
able to move forward in their confidence in you.
Contribution: We all need to be of importance to someone
else. By giving them the opportunity to contribute something
in support of others, you tap into one of the highest needs
you can have. The ability to make a difference in someone
else’s lives is a powerful motivator that could boost one’s
spirits in a myriad of ways.
Difference Between a Desire and a Need
 
It is clear that our needs are our biggest motivators in life.
They are key to our very existence and our quality of life.
One who struggles every day to find the food to keep us
alive has a very poor quality of life as opposed to someone
who is focused more on meeting their aesthetic needs. In
both cases, they make up the fundamental part of who we
are - but one need may be more pressing and urgent than
the other.
On the other hand, many people often confuse needs with
wants or desires. Some may feel that they truly need
something when in actuality it is really just a strong desire.
When practicing the art of persuasion, it is necessary to
know the difference. Spending your energy to fuel the
desires of an individual will not be nearly as effective as
meeting that inherent need that will push their lives forward.
Levels of Needs and Desires
 
Both needs and desires can be met on three different levels:
personal, social, and emotional. When it comes to personal
desires, one might believe that freedom, power, and
accomplishments are basic needs but when you look a little
closer you realize that none of these factors are essential for
the continuing of life. Still, if you detect that this is a strong
desire in the person you’re talking to, you want to make sure
that the words you choose do not interfere with these
qualities. Don’t rob them of their freedom of choice but
instead use that desire to help them attain to a personal
need they may have.
Also, when it comes to power make sure that the options you
lay out before them give them a sense of empowerment if
they follow your lead.
Other people may desire financial success; in such cases,
you might broach the subject of financial independence if
they will concur with your assessment. Are you offering
something that will help them to get out of debt or will allow
them to have more control of their money? The more you
appeal to that need the easier it will be for them to resonate
with you.
Other desires that can be used as tools to aid you in
persuasion techniques are creative expression, hope, peace,
and security. While you can very well exist and live without
all of these things, they are not the basic needs we all have
and the key to our very survival on this planet.
Social Needs: It is part of human nature to act as
communicable beings. We are happiest when we are
connected to other humans. This can come through
identifying with their ancestral bonds and connecting them
to their roots. One of the first things we ask when we meet
someone for the first time is where are you from? This
connects them with a physical location on the planet? What
language do you speak? Acknowledges their culture, and
what is your name? connects them to the people they are
closest to in life.
Fairness is also a basic social need. No matter what culture
one springs from, the cry against injustice is strong. It is
within our personal nature that we want things to be fair.
Emotional Needs: We also have a long list of emotional
needs that must be recognized. Think about how many
people are going through life in the pursuit of happiness,
self-esteem, and internal security. People who have been
damaged emotionally in the past tend to be very fragile and
you can easily identify them because they have a difficult
time blending socially with others.
The more you can recognize the individual needs of those
you are speaking to, the easier it will be to tailor your words
to meet those needs and sway them to your way of seeing or
doing things.
Chapter 6: Focus on Similarities
 
One of the key building blocks of persuasion is the use of
similarity. The reason this is so effective is because science
has proven over the years that we choose to like or trust
someone based on how they are similar to you. The common
rule of thumb is that we naturally are more inclined to help
and give support to those we like. This leaves us open and
more easily persuaded if it is someone you see yourself
forging a common bond with.
So what does this mean for us? Countless studies have been
shown that we like people more if they have the same likes
and interests as we do. If we share beliefs, values, and/or
opinions with others that may be all that is needed to form a
bond with them and gain their trust.
Studies have shown that when people found that they had
shared interests participants were much more likely to
connect with that person on a completely different level.
So, how can we apply this fact to the art of persuasion?
Simple. When someone is trying to convince us on some
point and we can identify similarities between us, we are
more inclined to allow them to influence us. On the other
hand, if we don’t feel that connection and we view them as
very different from us we will be less susceptible to their
influence.
This means that if you are trying to influence another person
and you don’t already have a bond with them, you will need
to establish some type of common ground. This doesn’t have
to be an elaborate intimate relationship but it can just be
highlighting some very basic points that the two of you
share. The reason this works is because the more similarities
you have with another person, the more likeable they will
perceive you. When they find you likeable, they will be more
inclined to let their guard down and thus be more susceptible
to your suggestions.
Chapter 7: Understanding Resistance
and How to Use It
 
Now that you know how to make use of people’s wants and
needs you’re halfway there. Just by applying the simple
strategies already mentioned you’ll be able to influence
people’s decisions in a wide number of ways. However, these
strategies in persuasion are not always foolproof. In spite of
the fact that you can tap into people’s innermost desires and
needs there are still obstacles to overcome when it comes to
influencing people.
Inevitably you’ll meet with resistance on some level when
you try to persuade people and it pays to be able to identify
the types of resistance you may come up against and how to
turn things around. There are at least twelve different
resistance factors you should know about.
The Skeptic: We live in a world where propaganda abounds
and everything you hear is not always from a reliable and
trustworthy source. For this reason, many people have
become callous to the statements they hear. People are
bombarded with all sorts of advertising gimmicks that do not
deliver on their promises. Ask yourself if you actually believe
everything you see and hear every day. Most likely, you
would say no so you should understand and relate to the
mind of the skeptic.
Financial Resistance: Probably the most common form of
resistance you’ll meet is financial. While you may be able to
convince someone of the value of your viewpoint or product,
if they are struggling with a lack of resources, no matter
what pearls of wisdom you throw their way you’ll be unable
to sway them in your direction. Unless you are armed with
tools that will help you to get around this problem, your
efforts will inevitably fall flat.
Lack of Knowledge: People may not understand your
message if they lack a basic knowledge of your subject
matter. It is easy to assume that people know everything
that you do but you may find that you’re talking over their
heads. Make sure that you are both on the same page and
you can circumvent this problem.
Urgency: Remember, in order to persuade someone to your
way of thinking, you need to tap into their emotions.
However, if you fail to impress upon them the sense of
urgency involved in their decision making process you may
find you’re missing out on a valuable opportunity. If your
listener doesn’t believe that the message is important
enough to take immediate action, he or she may
procrastinate in taking the necessary steps to change his
mind.
Authority: Another obstacle may be that you have not
established yourself as an authority on your particular topic.
Unless they view you as someone knowledgeable and
experienced in the topic they are not likely to listen to your
argument.
Need: Effective persuasion requires you to convince the
person there is a need for the decision you’re asking for. The
options you present must come in the form of solving a
particular problem or your words may fall on deaf ears.
Lack of Trust: A huge area of resistance may be a lack of
trust in you. You want to be very careful to instill and sense
of confidence in your ability to deliver on your promises and
your word. Any sense of doubt they may have could become
a major stumbling block to you reaching your goals.
Don’t Like You: Keep in mind that people who will be
swayed by you will first need to like you and that can be
done by establishing some common ground. If you have not
bonded with them on some level, they are not likely to
embrace your message and leave themselves open to
persuasion.
Fear of Change: Many people are guided by their fears. In
today’s world of uncertainty, it is very common to find
people who are afraid to make changes. They find security in
the routine of their daily lives and may be reluctant to let go
no matter what you may say to them.
Fear of the Unknown: Closely related to the fear of change
is the fear of the unknown. People naturally want to feel
secure in their lives and when they do not know what to
expect it may make them reluctant to make the switch to
something different. They feel unprepared and unsure of
themselves and opt to stay with the familiar.
How to Overcome Resistance and Be Persuasive
 
Once you are able to identify the type of resistance you’re up
against, your next step will be in developing strategies to
overcome it. This requires a clear thought process and a
careful analysis of what you are doing. There is a six-step
process to determining the type of resistance you’re facing
and developing the ways to get around it.
Reciprocity: reciprocity is an age old practice that says you
will be rewarded for performing simple acts of kindness. It is
found in every culture of the world and we instinctively
respond to it. When someone does even a small gesture of
kindness we often feel obligated to respond in kind. You see
this done in marketing campaigns where someone may offer
you a free gift and in return you are asked to simply sign up
for their promotion or campaign.
Authority: people will follow you if they believe that you
know more about a topic than they do. Before you attempt to
persuade anyone to follow your lead make sure that you are
knowledgeable about your area of expertise.
Scarcity: Make your product or service something that is
hard to get. Present your idea as something that is unique
and not available to the masses and people will feel more
inclined to follow suit. It is much more appealing to be part of
a small elite group than a common thread among thousands.
Be Likeable: People can identify a fake from a mile away so
make sure that the persona you put forth is authentic. Once
people see you as authentic they will be more drawn to you
and will respond to your message. It is much more difficult to
say no to someone you like and respect.
Consistency: One thing that draws people is reliability. They
need to see that you are consistent in your practices and
that you are in harmony with what you say. If your track
record proves that you are constantly moving from one idea
to another then they will quickly lose interest. The more
stable you are the more open to your influence they will be.
Evidence of Social Approval: People will often say they
want to be unique and seen as separate from the world but
by and large they are more likely to follow something if
others are already doing it. Even if it is a new idea, few
people want to be the leader of the pack but they will be
more inclined to respond if others are already behind it.
By anticipating these obstacles and preparing a response in
advance you will be able to overcome many of them and
demonstrate your personal knowledge and expertise on your
particular platform. Keep in mind that reluctance doesn’t
always mean no, so once you understand that there are
things you can do to influence another person’s decision, the
idea of persuasion doesn’t seem so hard. Below are a few
tactics you can try.
 
Tap Into Their Belief System
 
It is interesting to note that nearly everyone on this planet is
born into a specific belief system. For most people, that
comes in the form of religion and for others it may come in
the form of mediation, soul searching, music, or some other
way for them to connect to their more spiritual side. While in
most Western cultures, the idea of discussing religion and
politics is a sensitive one, it bears mentioning that every
day, large numbers of people are changing their personal
belief systems in one way or another.
Why is this the case? Because of the influencers they
encounter on a regular basis. Every day, we are exposed to
constant input from the world around us and that input can
either reinforce our belief system or it can make deep
inroads that allow us to doubt what we have formerly
believed. Depending on how deeply ingrained one’s beliefs
are, it is possible to persuade some to change simply by
inserting just a small bit of doubt in their mind. This does not
mean that you have to get them to completely change their
ideas but simply insert a single question into their mind that
makes them question their present choices and their brains
will do the rest.
By learning the belief system of your target audience you
can slowly cast a shadow over the ideas surrounding their
thinking. For example, many religious people believe that
drinking alcohol is a sin but you want to convince someone
to have a drink with you. The conversation may go
something like this:
You: Why don’t we have a drink?
Them: Drinking is bad, the Bible talks against it.
You: True, I believe that drinking too much is bad, the
same as eating too much food is bad but the Bible
says that even Jesus Christ drank. Why do you think
that is?
In this scenario, you are agreeing with the argument but you
are saying just enough to cast doubt on their words. The
mention of Jesus shows that you are knowledgeable about
the topic and may have some insight that they are not
familiar with. Of course, not all arguments will be of this
extreme but few would debate the holiness of Jesus. You
don’t need to beat them over the head and win the
argument; that would actually work against you but by
finding common ground and planting a little tiny seed you
start their minds to thinking in a completely different
direction.
Now, it will depend on how deeply ingrained their beliefs
actually are but chances are you will need more than one
opportunity to get them to change their mind. The main
point here is to avoid turning the issue into a debate but just
to leave subtle inroads that will start their minds to shifting
gears and moving in a different direction.
Replacement: It’s important that you don’t leave your
subject feeling a void in their lives. So, if you plant doubts
that will eventually cause them to leave their way of thinking
you need to replace it with something they feel is of equal
value. If their belief system requires them to give up a
particular habit, like smoking, it has to be replaced with
something better. This is why e-cigarettes have become so
popular now. They replace the bad habit with something the
person sees as of equal importance to them. If they must
give up friends, relationships, money, make sure you leave
them feeling as if they are getting something in return and it
will make it easier for them to follow your ideas.
The Power of Freedom
 
At times, you may feel that your subject is almost ready to
respond to your idea or concept but then they pull back with
an excuse about reliance.
“I need to ask my wife/husband.”
“I don’t have enough time.”
“It’s too expensive.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
It’s good to know that in most cases, these are not the real
reason they are rejecting your proposal. However, you will
have to address these issues before you can get to the real
underlying cause of their reluctance.
This can be done first by agreeing with them. Most people
have an inbred reluctance to being told exactly what to do so
they often defer to other people or other situations. By
letting them know that you are not taking away their
freedom of choice you disarm their defenses. Responses like
…
“Of course you are free to do this whenever you’re
ready but….”
“Naturally you’d want to ask your
wife/parent/husband but….”
“I agree, the price is higher than others on the
market but….”
Often you can diffuse an argument simply by empowering
your listener with this simple strategy. Research has shown
that by reinforcing their right to make a decision many are
more likely to respond to you in a positive way. Once they
are disarmed you can add in your sentence of doubt and
then ask about any other issues they may be holding back
on.
 
Chapter 8: Effective Persuasion
Techniques
 
Now that you have covered the basic fundamentals of
persuasion it’s time to get into some of the specifics. Since
no two people will respond in exactly the same way when
these techniques are applied it makes sense to equip your
arsenal with a variety to tactics so that you improve your
chances for success. By following these basic guidelines you
can increase your effectiveness in a variety of ways and
boost your results.
Analyze the Problem
 
One of the first things you want to do is to try to understand
exactly what the other person is thinking. Keep in mind, that
much of our communication skills and interaction with other
people is produced by several complex systems being
filtered and processed through the brain. A person’s
viewpoint on any given topic is more than just a collection of
prejudices, ideas, and habits they have accumulated over
the years. These opinions are part of the fabric of who they
are and the result of years of experiences. You must be
careful not to tread in muddy water and inadvertently offend
them at their core.
This starts with an understanding of their position. It’s
important to note that to understand does not necessarily
mean to agree with them but you have to be at least willing
to step into their shoes for a minute to grasp their point of
view. If you are not at least willing to try to see something
from their perspective you’ve probably lost your edge
anyway.
This requires listening to the other person and showing them
that you are considering their point of view. So, rather than
focusing on what you are going to say next, take the time to
mirror back their concerns before addressing the issue.
“So, your concern is…..”
Then allow them to confirm or deny your conclusions before
you offer any suggestion. Once you understand and have
carefully analyzed the problem, then you can proceed with
addressing their issues. By doing this you have validated
their concerns and built up their self-esteem and their
confidence and trust in you. At this point they are more likely
to be open to your suggestions.
 
Surround the Facts With Imagination
 
We all have vivid imaginations but often the events of this
world have taught us that the creative mind is wasteful. But
if you tap into their creativity in just the right way, you can
have them experiencing something new before they ever
realize it. So, rather than list a bunch of numbers (facts)
dealing with a particular event or cause, use visual imagery
to make it personal to them.
Imagination is directly connected to one’s emotions and
emotions are the driving force behind decision-making. Facts
only, uses only one side of the brain (the left hemisphere),
but when coupled with imagination you can also engage the
right or the more creative side of the brain a well. When the
entire brain is concentrating on your ideas they are much
more likely to be open to new and exciting things you
suggest.
Demonstrate Your Knowledge or Skill
 
At this point, the more knowledge and skill you can
demonstrate the easier it will be for you to persuade
someone over to your line of thinking. This requires doing
additional homework and research to make sure that you
have your facts straight. As you speak on your topic, make
sure that you analyze the situation from all angles. If you’re
speaking with your employer, do you really understand his or
her point of view, if you’re considering a new purchase, have
you analyzed your spouse’s role in the matter. By stepping
into the shoes of everyone involved you get a more rounded
picture and the solution you present will be one that
everyone will most likely be receptive to.
Use respectful terms when speaking to others. Even if you
don’t address a person’s role directly, elevating your
expertise above everyone else’s could come off as boastful
and demeaning to others. Keep your tone respectful and
focus on building the other person up without diminishing
your role in the situation. Keep in mind their underlying issue
that you are trying to address. If the concern is fairness or
justice, use that to your advantage but if they are concerned
about teamwork or cooperation you should use that as well.
Maximize/Minimize the Situation
 
This basically means that you want to minimize the risks and
maximize the possibilities for gain in each situation. Keep
steering the conversation towards the more positive aspects
of your argument and away from the negatives. The more
you can keep their focus on the positive side of things the
more relaxed they’re going to be. When they bring up a
negative point, don’t ignore it or gloss over it but don’t dwell
on it either. Keep gently steering them back to the more
positive side of things and keep them emotionally engaged
throughout.
Trigger the Motivators
 
We’ve already discussed the different types of motivators
that are behind making decisions. Every choice we make is
because of these different motivators so by developing
strategies to move them in a certain direction, you could
overcome the challenge. Once you’ve identified what is
moving the individual in a particular direction, you can use
words that will tap into that motivator and possibly seal the
deal.
 
Think Positive
 
Like minds think alike. People have a natural tendency to
follow the vibe one sets. If you tend to focus on the negative
then chances are those are the areas your listener will focus
on too. However, if you develop the skill of painting lovely
pictures with your words, you tap into their subconscious and
they will follow your lead. The more positive the picture is
the more attractive your message will be. The right words
will generate a feeling of warmth and establish a mental
bond that your listener will be drawn to on a subconscious
level.
Give Assurances
 
Given the condition of the world today, many people are very
skeptical and reserved when it comes to new ideas and
concepts. While they may have agreed to listen to your
argument it does not necessarily mean that they are keenly
interested in what you have to say. They may have joined
you out of politeness and/or obligation and have agreed to
listen to you for a period of time.
Because of this your words must hit to the heart of the
matter. While you are speaking, their minds could be drifting
to other things they need to do today, how much time you
are taking or any number of issues that they may feel is
more pressing.
If you fail to make the strong emotional connection as soon
as possible and provide them with a solution to their problem
you could very well lose them. However, if you are able to
provide certain assurances within the realm of possibilities
you get them to lower their guard. Your message must be
relevant to what means the most to them and gives them a
promise of an improved condition in the life in some way.
Only these kinds of words will have the power to influence
people in ways that matter.
Life in general is full of uncertainty so any time you can offer
assurances your message becomes very appealing. Showing
them how they can benefit from what you have to offer can
be one of the most powerful messages you can send. The
more you reinforce that kind of thinking the more open they
will be to your persuasive tactics.
Persuade Yourself First
 
As we now know, the art of persuasion is a skill that we don’t
need to learn. It is built into us from our very first memories.
However, it is a skill that has been suppressed by society
over many years. As a result, for most people it has become
a dying art.
Before you set out to persuade others, you need to practice
this skill over and over again until you can master it. The
average person does not know that they have this skill
buried deep inside of them and so many doubt they have the
ability to influence others in one way or another. If you’re
one of those people, you need to change your own way of
thinking first. The fact is that if you don’t believe you’re
capable of executing the art of persuasion successfully,
anyone you speak to will pick up on your vibe and will be
reluctant to open themselves up to you.
In honing your persuasion skills start by convincing yourself
that you are capable of applying the strategies in the areas
where you need them. We’ve already learned that we go into
every situation with a preconceived belief in its success or
failure. Listen to your inner voice and figure out if it’s
sending you positive or negative message about your
abilities. Be honest and recognize the areas where you need
improvement. If your inner critic is telling you that you “in
over your head” or that you’re weak in a certain area you
need to take active steps to prove it wrong. When you
identify a weakness, start working on improving that area
and keep doing it until you begin to believe it.
Start With Your Own Inner Feelings and
Emotions
 
Take active steps to boost your self-esteem. If you have any
doubts about your abilities you need to address them first.
These doubts are rarely the result of things that are
happening today but are the consequences of a lifetime of
negative experiences. Your self-esteem issues may be the
result of a neglected childhood, a poor economic situation, or
limitations in your social life. It may take some soul-
searching but once you recognize the root cause of any
social problems you may have it will become easier to
convince yourself that you are able to influence other
people.
Another way to boost your self-esteem is to do more for
other people. With every kind gesture performed for others
you build up positive feelings in both you and the recipient
thus laying the foundation to cement a bond in the future
and open a door to your persuasiveness.
Physical activity also helps to boost your spirits and feelings
of self worth. Physical activity releases endorphins (the feel
good hormone), and brightens everyone’s viewpoint on their
personal life.
And when you feel good you naturally want to look good. A
change in your personal appearance can do wonders for your
self-esteem and your personal image. This sends subliminal
messages to the subconscious mind that here is a person
that loves and respects herself.
There are a lot of things that can work towards boosting your
own belief system. Think about it, if you don’t believe in
yourself and are unable to show it to the world then you
won’t be able to convince anyone else to believe in you too.
This means taking whatever steps are needed to make
yourself more appealing to your target audience. This could
include, quitting bad habits, improving your posture, or
enhancing your mind.
Think of it as if you’re planning on dating. In order to attract
the right people you have to portray a specific image. To find
the right partner in life, you’ll have to become the kind of
person you want to find. When you match those qualities
with theirs you’ve won half the battle in the art of
persuasion.
You May Need to Change Your Belief System
 
Some skepticism is healthy for everyone but it has to be kept
in check. If you’re the kind of person that doubts everything
you hear you need to find a balance. For your
persuasiveness to be effective you have to believe that it is
effective. The ideas in this book are not your first class ticket
to instant wealth and overnight success, but they can be
very instrumental in gradually expanding your ability to have
influence over people around you.
Your words can be a powerful tool for good or for bad
depending on how you use them and hopefully you will be
able to use these strategies for the betterment of not just
yourself but those who have the good fortune to interact
with you but all of this starts with your initial practice. Simply
by changing your viewpoint and your attitude about a lot of
things you’ll see how persuasion does have the power to
change lives.
The human brain is a powerful and mysterious tool. It is the
impetus behind every experience you have, every action you
take, and every skill you develop. Learning how to tap into
and utilize that tool can open the door to your subconscious
mind and all sorts of opportunities. Through study and
research we have come to learn that the brain is a never
ending learning machine and the more we understand about
how it works the more questions we have. The billions of
neurons and connections that are at work in our mind are
constantly being reinforced by the sensory input that we
feed it every day. So, as you go about persuading yourself on
a new viewpoint on life, you are in fact, creating a new
reality about the things you interact with.
Over the years, our viewpoints change and what may be
your belief system today was not the same system of beliefs
you had twenty years ago and likely won’t be the same in
another twenty years. Things change in people’s lives based
on what is important to them at the moment. So, what would
you like to change about yourself today? Once you’ve
decided that, apply these persuasion techniques to yourself
and see how skilled you really can be in this age-old art.
Many people achieve this by doing daily affirmations. The
regular repetition of certain phrases and concepts can trick
your mind into believing that they are actually true. This will
reinforce your belief system as each time you do it, you are
strengthening those neural pathways and creating entirely
new habits.
Make a list of the things you want to change and start
reinventing yourself first. That way, when you are ready to
become an influence in other people’s lives the skill will be
second nature to you.
Conclusion
 
Through the pages of this book you have learned that the art
of persuasion is a basic part of all of our makeup. It is not
something that we learn but it is becoming a lost skill. In
today’s modern world, where marketing, advertising, and
propaganda seem to inundate us we have become a people
to be persuaded and few have found the way to the other
side of the equation.
Yet persuasion at some level is a part of every job we get,
every relationship we have, and every decision we make. We
are either in the act of being persuaded, persuading
ourselves, or someone else at some point every day. It pays
for all of us to master the skill and learn how to use it to the
best of our advantage.
Whether you’re reading this book because you want to land
that perfect job or you’re in search of the perfect mate, the
skills here should set you well on the path to success in your
endeavor. Through these pages, you’ve learned the science
behind the tactics suggested here, you’ve gained a better
understanding of how the brain receives and utilizes the
input it receives, and how emotion can be a powerful tool in
swaying people’s opinions.
You’ve also learned about the various ways someone may
resist your persuasive methods and how you can circumvent
those arguments and launch a campaign to redirect their
thinking.
We are all base creatures by nature and understanding the
fundamental needs of all of us is at the root of everything we
do. By addressing people’s needs and desires in exercising
our persuasion tactics we bond them to us in ways that no
other methods can do. By doing this we become one with our
audience and they will be more inclined to listen to what we
have to say.
Regardless of your purpose for wanting to influence people,
just know that the power already lies inside of you. It’s just a
matter of waking up a sleeping art and putting it to practice.
The result will be a powerful tool that you may be amazed to
know you already have.
We hope that you enjoyed reading this book and that you
learned enough to set you on your way to reaching your
goals. Don’t be afraid to go back and read certain sections
over again to reinforce your knowledge and start putting
your new skills to use right away. There is always something
in our lives we’d like to improve so start at the beginning and
work on yourself first. Each time you succeed in persuading
yourself to make a small change, you will boost your self-
esteem and reinforce your belief system and before long
you’ll realize that you are well on your way to getting the
kind of life you’ve always wanted.
The next step is to put these simple but useful strategies in
play by practicing on yourself. When you’re able to convince
your own mind to change then you know you’re ready to
start on someone else. Hopefully, this book was informative
and able to provide you with all of the tools you need to
achieve your personal persuasive goals - whatever they may
be.
 
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