Reflection Paper
Loren Yutuc
Foundations of Biblical Spirituality
Fall 2019
The journey from home to Berrien Springs, MI has been quite the journey so far. I knew
in a shallow way, to be honest, that God had directed my wife and I here to the seminary. I was
preparing myself for the long hours of reading, as well as learning again how to parse and
translate Greek sentences. I was opening up my mind and heart to new ideas that would add
new tools to my ministry tool belt. What I overlooked was the necessity of reshaping my heart
for a life of servant-led ministry. I did not know what to expect when entering this class,
Foundations of Biblical Spirituality. As I look back now, I believe that God led me to this class
for a reason. My spiritual well-being needed a turn around, and this class helped me get
started.
I needed to be in the presence of God, but I don’t think I knew what that meant. I knew
I needed to be and wanted to be in His presence, but I learned that I need to enjoy His
presence. In order to enjoy His presence, I had to be intentional by finding time to be alone
with God and unplugging (especially electronically). One of the key exercises which I will
forever be grateful for is learning how to do reflective Bible reading. For many years, I read the
Bible in order to exegete the passage and find out what God was saying to the masses. Then in
turn, I would disseminate the information to the congregation. I was definitely uninformed in
how to read Scripture. This class taught me how to read Scripture for myself. I needed to find
my “hiding place,” where it was only God and I alone. It was in this place where God would
speak directly to my life. The reading of Mark 10:46-52 impacted me greatly in my spiritual
walk. As I read the story and internalized it, I could hear God asking that same question in the
passage, “What do you want me to do for you?” That question is something I still ask myself on
a daily basis. So no as I read Scripture, I always ask myself, “What are you saying to me God?
How are you trying to intersect with my life? Where are you inviting me in this passage?” This
exercise of Scripture reading has radically forever changed my view on Bible study.
Aside from Scripture reading, the lecture on prayer really affected me. Dr. Walshe gave
us this statement, “Your prayer life is in direct proportion to your picture of God.” Did I even
have a right picture of God? I was challenged to think that maybe my prayer life is not very
effective because I didn’t know His face. I also learned that according to Scripture, prayer is a
conversational relationship which enables me to grow in trust in God to the place where I
delight for Him to give me what He wants. I realize now that the essence of prayer is
relationship, not requests. Requests are not the heart of prayer. Dr. Walsh then gave a radical
statement that I will forever be grateful for, “God does not respond to prayer. God does not
merely respond to prayer. God responds to us, to our whole life.” God sees me and answers
my life and where I’m at.
If there was anything Dr. Walshe has stressed and was intentional about, it would be the
regular exercise of journaling. Before attending this class, journaling my thoughts and Scripture
readings was far from my radar. It was something I felt was unnecessary for my spiritual walk. I
praise God for showing me the error of my ways. I struggled at first to journal my thoughts. I
kept asking God if this was necessary, and soon He was the one asking questions and speaking
to me through Scripture. It has been a fulfilling experience doing my devotional exercises. It’s
one thing to read Scripture and contemplate it in your head, but it’s another thing to journal
one’s thoughts while reading Scripture. The message of the passage felt more real and I felt as
though God and I were having a conversation. I was able to write my frustrations, wants,
needs, and hopes as God listened to me. In turn, I listened for His voice and found myself
hearing it as I journaled. I wonder how much more effective I could have been if I had been
doing this sooner early in my ministry. Walshe shared with us some thoughts regarding
journaling:
1. Brain science reveals to us an extraordinary relationship between the brain, mind,
hand, emotions, and heart.
2. A journal is just not a recording of thoughts. It is a journey, an exploring of a
landscape of the mind and the heart.
3. What is written is not as significant as what has to happen before we can write.
4. Writing is a way into or an understanding of what is going on in
ourselves…developing in ourselves.
5. It helps us get a handle on what is happening within us which can be lost without
articulating it on paper.
6. Helps to keep an ongoing conversation about an issue flowing and on track.
7. It is so easy in this busy world to merely live outside of ourselves…to be unaware of
the inner journey.
8. As we pray, as we reflect upon the word, often the Holy Spirit will give us insights or
understanding about our relationship with God, what is happening in our lives, and
what is happening in relationships, our pain, our “stuckness.”
9. Creative clustering (mind mapping)
10. Plan and write down several things you plan to do differently….more intentionally.
Suffice to say, I will add journaling to my spiritual tools and share it with those I will minister so
that they may enjoy this wonderful exercise.
The topic of praise was something that caught me by surprise. I knew God deserved my
praise. I would sing songs and then praise Him in prayer, but I didn’t fully realize what it was all
about. I floored when I learned that we often confuse praise with thanksgiving. I always
thought they were kind of the same thing. Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” When I thank God, I am
recognizing Him for what He does. When I praise God, I am recognizing Him for who He is. I
was so used to thanking Him because He gives me so much that I failed to give Him the
recognition He deserves. FB Meyer wrote, “Praise is our highest service, we thank God for what
He does for us, but we praise God for what He is of Himself.” The praise we give God makes me
aware of His presence, it enthralls the mind of God, it honors Him, it lifts me above my
situation, helps me to focus on the Giver, and it reminds me how marvelous is the One whose
presence I am in.
This semester, I learned how inadequate I was spiritually. I do not mean to be down on
myself, but rather I’ve learned that I need God even more. My journey to this place took 15
years. I shared the story of my journey here during the spiritual retreat and I felt so vulnerable
and naked because I was revealing to people and to myself how God has been with me through
this important journey. I felt as though God was stripping me of my preconceptions about
spirituality and reforging me into something better. As I’ve spent time with my spiritual partner
and with others in the class, I see now how we are all on our own spiritual journey. While we
may feel alone at times, the connections we make with each other help deepen our need for
connection with God.
If anything, that’s been constant during this semester, it’s been God. He is the one who
helped me on this journey. He continues to be my shepherd and lead me to greener pastures
and still waters no matter what. He leads me to paths of righteousness and continues to
choose me for His work no matter what. He is constantly asking me that question from the
beginning of the semester, “What do you want me to do for you?” Sometimes it’s very easy to
answer Him, but other times I find it difficult. It’s during those times, I reach out to Him and
praise Him for who He is and what He’s able to do in my life. My spiritual walk has just started
but this class and my professor, Dr. Walshe, as helped put me on the right path in recognizing
who God is what He wants to do in my life, no matter what.