L i V i n g W i t h a u t i s m

Puberty and children on The aUTism specTrUm

contribUted by: aT a parenT groUp meeTing, a moTher asked, “since

Melissa Dubie, M.Ed.
Indiana Resource Center for Autism my daUghTer’s menTal age is aboUT a Third grade

level, Why is she sTarTing her period? This doesn’T

seem possible.”

All children go through puberty regardless of IQ or social skills. The brain

does not tell the body to stop growing if the boy/girl’s developmental level is

younger than their age. Puberty is a stage of development just like moving

from being an infant to a toddler. Puberty is considered to begin around

age 12 for girls and age 14 for boys. The physical changes of puberty are

centered on the development of secondary characteristics and the onset of

menstruation (in girls) and ejaculation (in boys).

Images used for illustration purposes only.
Models may not have autism.
 The average age a Get used to saying
girl starts menstru- words such as penis,
ating is around 12 testicles and pubic
or 13, but some girls hair for boys and
start as early as 9 vagina, breasts,
and others are as and menstruation
late as 17. for girls.

• Make a visual schedule of how often the sanitary pad

girls. The physical changes in girls usually begin between
should be changed. Remember her school schedule. Try to
ages 7 and 14. Girls begin to have growth spurts, develop breasts,
arrange the changing time with the times that she would
pubic and underarm hair, and have vaginal discharge. Good hygiene
change classes (normal breaks in the day) at school. The
by taking a shower or bath each day, washing your hair, underarms,
more the schedule is the same at home and school, the
and vaginal area is increasingly important. A girl’s menstruation
easier the transition will be.
(period) usually follows within a year or two of these changes. The
• Watch a video on a teens health Web site (http://kidshealth.
average age a girl starts menstruating is around 12 or 13, but some
org/teen/sexual_health/girls/menstruation.html).
girls start as early as 9 and others as late as 17 (Strong, DeVault,
• If your daughter learns best with facts, buy a book on
Sayad & Yarber, 2005).
getting your period (see references at end of article).
As parents see their daughter developing physical changes of puberty,
Having a full explanation of her menstrual phases may help
they should start talking to her about menstruation. For example,
your daughter transition to this part of her life. For others,
a father was concerned that his daughter screams loudly and runs
the information may be overwhelming. As her parent, you
around the room every time she sees the sight of blood, even if the
know in what manner your daughter learns best.
cut on her finger is small. She doesn’t become calm until they put a
• Plan a celebration party for when she starts her period.
bandage on the cut. How will she react about blood from her vagina?
Growing into a woman is exciting and should be celebrated.
We suggested calling menstrual pads a very large bandage. This

language would help their daughter transition to starting menstration. boys. The physical changes in boys usually begin around age
In addition, the family decided to start practicing the steps of wearing 13. Some boys start prematurely at age 12 while others begin as late

a pad and changing it regularly before the important day came. as 17 or 18 years of age. Generally, boys’ puberty lags behind girls by

Here are some ideas to assist girls in that process: two years. The secondary characteristics for boys include: growth

• Put red food coloring in your daughter’s underwear to show spurts, bigger hands and feet, increased muscle mass, deepened

what the blood might look like when she starts her period. voice, facial and underarm hair, and more hair in the pubic area. Their

• Mother should model the steps of wearing and changing penis and testicles also develop (Strong, DeVault, Sayad, Yarber,

a sanitary pad. If possible, include other girls in the house 2005). Like girls, boys should shower or bathe each day. Be sure to

as well. wash hair, underarms, and genital area.

• Mark the pad and panties with a different color to show At puberty, boys begin to ejaculate semen. Many boys are unnerved

where the pad should be placed in her underwear. by the first appearance of semen which will probably occur while

• Go to the store and buy a few different kinds of sanitary sleeping (e.g., wet dreams). One parent shared that her son didn’t

pads. Try different sizes, thicknesses, wings or no wings, want to disappoint her because he was a “big boy” now and

fragrances, and brands. didn’t wet his bed. So when he started having nocturnal emissions,
 Images used for illustration purposes only.
Many boys are unnerved
by the first appearance

Models may not have autism.

of semen, which will
probably occur while
sleeping.

he was afraid to tell her because he thought she would be when he has, for example, nocturnal emissions. Change the

disappointed. His behavior escalated until he refused to go to bed sheets or have him help you.

at night. It is important to assure your son that he is not urinating • Use a calm voice and explain what is happening during
in bed. In addition, boys may have erections at odd or unplanned puberty with your son. Relate the nocturnal emissions to
times. Explain that this is a part of puberty that will eventually stop. other changes he is experiencing, then explain that this is

Here are some ideas to assist boys at puberty: part of puberty and growing into being a man.

• Don’t overreact or under react. Remember your son • Go to the library or bookstore to read about how boys

probably doesn’t have any idea of what is happening to him bodies change during puberty.

parentS. When talking about • Before you can effectively communicate and directly. Don’t give too much

your values about sexuality to your information to your adolescent.

boy and girl body parts, use the medical
children, you need to know what you
terminology. Language concepts are • Children are not perfect. They make
believe and why.
difficult for many individuals with autism mistakes and it’s up to us to turn their
spectrum disorder. Therefore, if they • You are the main educators of sex for
mistakes into lessons.
learn the word “pee pee” to mean penis your son and/or daughter. Whether you
• Remember to use the same teaching
when they are young, it will be awkward are comfortable or not, wouldn’t you
strategies that you have used to teach
and inappropriate for them to still be rather they get factual information from

you than follow a classmate’s or friend’s your children other skills. Apply these
calling their male genitalia “pee pee”
advice? strategies to teaching them about
when they are young adults or men.

Start with the medical terminology from • You must be “askable” (Gordon & menstruation and nocturnal emissions

the beginning, and get used to saying Gordon, 2000). This means you as they go through puberty. Some of

words such as penis, testicles and pubic should be prepared for any question these strategies may include visual

hair for boys and vagina, breasts, and or incident that involves your son or schedules or check off lists, videos,

menstruation for girls. Here are other daughter’s sexuality. Always say, “That
facts in books, pictures of what is
critical points to ponder: is a good question.” You can decide
happening to their bodies, stories to
to answer the question immediately
predict what might occur, or specific
or say, “We’ll discuss it when we get
terminology. Think of puberty as
home.” If you answer with a positive
just another stage of development.
tone, then your child will continue

to ask questions. Also, remember Embrace this time and move forward.

to answer the questions simply

 looKing for autism resources? visit www.autismsource.org

references: with disabilities. (2004). new york: planned

american girl library (1998). The care & keep- parenthood federation of america, inc. (avail-
ing of you: The body book for girls. middleton, able at www.plannedparenthood.org).
4340 East-West Highway, Suite 350
Bethesda, Maryland 20814 Wi: pleasant company publications. specher, J. (producer). (1999). Body parts &
Phone: 301.657.0881 or crissy, p. (2005). Personal hygiene?: What’s grooming. milwaukee, Wi: anything’s possible,
1.800.3AUTISM inc. [video tape]. (available at www.spe-
that got to do with me? philadelphia: Jessica
Fax: 301.657.0869
kingsley publishers. cialkids1.com).
Web: www.autism-society.org
gordon, s., & gordon, J. (2000). Raising a child stanfield, J. (producer). (1996). Hygiene for
This material was reproduced responsibly in a sexually permissive world. females. santa barbara, ca: James stanfield
with support and permission from company. [video tape]. (available at www.
avon, ma: adams media corporation.
The Indiana Resource Center stanfield.com).
for Autism (IRCA). Visit gravelle, k., castro, n., & castro, c. (1998).
www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca. What’s going on down there?: Answers to ques- stanfield, J. (producer). (1996). Hygiene for
tions boys find hard to ask. new york: Walker males. santa barbara, ca: James stanfield
and company. company. [video tape] (available at www.
stanfield.com).
gray, J., & Jilich, J. (1990). Janet’s got her period.
carlton, australia: social biology resources cen- strong, b., devault, c., sayad, b.W., & yarber,
tre (available from James stanfield company, W.l. (2005). Human sexuality: Diversity in
santa barbara, ca, at www.stanfield.com). contemporary America (5th ed.). new york:
mcgraw-hill companies, inc.
harris, r.h. (1994). It’s perfectly normal: Chang-
ing bodies, growing up, sex and sexual health. Topics on puberty presented by Planned Par-
cambridge, ma: candlewick press. enthood. new york: planned parenthood
federation of america, inc. (retrieved may 25,
Jukes, m., (1998). Growing up: It’s a girl thing:
2005, from http://www.teenwire.com).
Straight talk about first bras, first periods, and
your body changing. new york: borzoi book Wrobel, m. (2003). Taking care of myself: A
publisher. hygiene, puberty and personal curriculum for
young people with autism. arlington, tX: fu-
loulan, J., & Worthen, b. (2001). Period: A girl’s
ture horizons, inc.
guide. minnetonka, mn: book peddlers (also
available in spanish).
resoUrces:
madaras, l., & madaras, a. (2000). What’s hap- view www.kotex.com to identify some of the
pening to my body? Books for boys: A growing- options this company has available.
up guide for parents and sons. new york: W.W.
borrow books and videos from cedir (center
norton & company.
for disability information and referral at the
mayle, p., (1975). What’s happening to me? new indiana institute on disability and community,
york,: kensington publishing. www.iidc.indiana.edu/cedir or 812-855-6508).
Sexuality & disability: A resource list for those see www.familiesaretalking.org for information
who work with, live with, or care for people and talking points.

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