BB

The document is a first-person reflection on enduring endless suffering and the feeling of being controlled by an inescapable fate. While the speaker feels numb, they are confronted by friends who try to lift their spirits and remind them of promises made in the past to experience life and cherish themselves. Though the speaker cannot remember their true name or past promises due to their blurred memory, their friends continue to support them in the present.

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BB

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pB Brine

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I’ve never wanted this.

Why was I put through all of this? I asked this question every time they would answer “that’s
just how life is” that’s for you lot. What about me? Is what I’m going through really how life
is? Having to lose everything over and over again.

“just endure it, you’ll get through. I’m sure of it”

“believe in yourself”
“never give up”

“you only have one life, live it to the fullest”

Don’t lecture me, have you ever thought of my feelings? Have you asked me about how I
feel? There’s no **one** life for me. All there is this bullshit called ‘fate’ shoved down into
my throat. Every step, every breath, every word I screamed, it was because of fate. The
unbreakable thread restraining me from ever be free. Why does this soul hate me so much?

The one things that had keep me in check, every last one of them taken away from me by that
fate. Friend or foe, please, just leave me alone. That thing, it just won’t stop sticking to me
like a bug, a parasite, eating away every last bit I have. Leaving out my already crumbling
sanity for dessert.

Countless worlds passed, numerous bodies buried under.

This body, I take care of it every time. Leaving it to rot in hopes of ending this pain.
I feel numb but not tired, I can do this forever. There’s no other reason I should stop, there’s
no reason to care anymore. Every knowledge I’ve ever gathered, every word I’ve ever
uttered, everything I’ve ever seen, I’ll ignore them all, forget them in order to be in peace.
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil; isn’t that right?
Yeah!! See? I’ve done it, I’ve achieved it! The eternal bliss I promised to myself! But… oh,
my hands.. they feel sore, and my body won’t move. Why..? why?! Move it! Come on, if I
stop here then that peace I’ve granted to myself will be gone!! Then I’ll have to suffer again
and again endlessly—

“Are you okay? isn’t it painful?” (possibly Mina)

It hurts like a bitch.
“c’mon, get up! Didn’t you say you wanted to see the world above?”
No.. that was, like a long time ago.

“HEY! You said you’ll buy me those sneakers and hang out with me more!” (Justus)
Oh, did i? I think I’ve forgotten, sorry..?

“Did you really think we’ll leave you? No way, even if you’re on the other side of the world,
we’ll keep on tracking you and pester you even further haha!”
Hahaha! Keep on trying weirdo.

“aren’t you tired? here, I made a lot of things for you. One day, let’s have a picnic with
everyone, don’t worry! I’ll prepare everything so don’t sweat anything.” (Mina)
…I like these, you’re nice. But don’t be too much of a pushover, you’ll just get bullied.

“what are you doing lying on the ground? You look like a dried up worm” (Blake)
A ghost wouldn’t know how it feels to roll on the ground and act like an insect out of pure
spite.

“I know you don’t celebrate this kind of thing but here is a gift, for you, from me. Wear it
every day, that way we can have matching musty jackets.” (Zeke?)
ewWW! Yours already look like mold because it’s green. This one look red so I’ll take better
care of it and wash it every day, no way I’ll let it have the same fate as yours.

“stop being a wussy and start focusing on the present! What’s the point of thinking about
pointless things like fate if you’re basically immortal? you said you tend to forget things,
right? Then write a diary, elementary schoolers like doing those~” (Cadence)
Oh r-right, but hey- did you just say I’m like a kid…
…
You’ll continue to help me though, right?

“listen, I know you don’t like lectures but I just had to knowing how you’re doing right now,,
a promise is an important thing, something noble, you said you wanted to change, to become
like me. Then I’ll tell you something. Names are a promise you make as soon as you were
born. A promise that benefits yourself and no one else, like a blessing. It might be
insignificant but it holds a dear meaning to your entire life, like a tiny hope of what your life
is going to be like. So BB, hold your name close to your chest, remember it, and cherish it.
Use that one promise as a guide in your life.” (Brine)
You’re oddly talkative today. And giving me so much eye contact.. even went through your
way to hold my hands too. Anyway, you know I’m no good with promises yet you’re wasting
your breath on me. I’m sorry…
“and most importantly, cherish yourself. This mind, this body, this soul, cherish them, protect
them” (Brine)
o-oh….
….
Y’know.. my real name isn’t BB it’s actually... it’s a bit blurry, but um it’s….

“Bliss! Good morning! Look what I found, a frog heh”

“you bring frogs every time, I’m a bit tired seeing their gross appearance”
What’s this? It’s warm.
“don’t be rude, it’s not like I don’t bring you other things”
“yeah, other things I didn’t ask for