LOVELOST

SEASON1
I
ntr
oduct
ion.
..

"
Alr
ightev
ery
one,
pensdown.
"
Il
etoutahugesi gh.Mylastexam.It earoutmy
papersandst apl
emypaper stogether.I
m so
happy.I
mf inall
yamat ri
culant,wellt
hatsifI
passbutIm guar ant
eedto.Imf ir
stinmygr ade
andIstudytirel
esslysoIhav etopass.Igetout
ofthehall
andgoout si
detogohome.I t
spast
11soIwal kout .
Mfundo:Haiboqobokazanasowugoduka?
Awuzikwipensdown?
Il
aughandshakemyhead.
Mfundohasbeenwant ingmesi ncegrade8and
Iv
ebeenr ej
ecti
nghim since.Honest l
ywhenwi l
l
hetakethehint
?Iwalkt othet axir
ankbehind
sparandcatchataxit
oWhi tt
lesea.From t
here,
i
cat
chanot
heronet
oSada,
eMadakeni
.

Ohhowrudeofme!I
m bl
abbi
ngonwi
thout
i
ntr
oduci
ngmysel
f.
Hi,I
m Thandokazi Nqumbof rom eMadakeni ,
eSada, EasternCape.Ilivewi t
hmy
mot her,Thandiwe,andIat t
endschool at
HexagonHi gh.Ivejustwrit
tenmyl astexam
todayi nGrade12andnexty earIplantoattend
atWSUi nWhittl
esea.Im soexcitedtobef inal
ly
donewi thschoolcausenowIcanconcent rate
onmot her.Shesunwel ll
atelybutshepr et
ends
thatshei sandkemnaIdontwantt omakea
fussofnot hing.Mydad?Hepassedaway2
yearsagoandl eftmeandmymot herR10000
toli
v eon.Hi skidsfrom hisprevi
ousmar r
iage?
Hel eftthem closetoR800000.Butt hatsnone
ofmybusi ness.Any waybackt othenow. .
.

Igethome,
washmyuni
for
m andst
arton
supper .Igot
omomsr oom, shesnothere.
Probabl ywor
kingthelat
eshi f
t.Igotoher
war dr
obeandt akeoutmyphone.I tsa
SamsungA2.Mal umegoti tf ormebeginningof
thisyeartomot i
vatemet ost udyharderand
alsoforbeingagooddaught er.Anywayi swi
tch
i
tonandl ookformyear phones.Iplugthem in
andpl aysomemusi c.Istartdancingaround
thehousewhi l
eIclean.
Myhomei sa2bedroomedhousewi t
ha
ki
tchen,bathr
oom andlounge.I
m anonl
ychi
ld
soIhavemyownr oom, whi
chIsometi
mes
sharewithmycousinwhenshecomesov erfor
weekends.Shes20andst udyi
ngatWsuwhich
i
swhyIwantt ost
udytheretoo.

Ther
esasofttaponmyshoulderandIt
urnt
o
seemymom smi l
ingbehi
ndme.Itakemy
ear
phonesoutwhichareonf
ullbl
ast
Me:
Hil
over
Shel
aughs
Her
:Mybaby
.Unj
ani
?Bel
i
njani
phepha?
Me:Arg!
!!Beli
nzi
makodwandili
zamil
emama.
Account
inginzi
manaweuy ay
azi.Hewethu
mntwam, ndi
zif
umeneif
ormszaseStandar
d
Bank.Soholi
dayjobndi
yi
bambil
e.
Mamashakesherheadno.
Me:
Hai
boma?
Her
:Nobaby
.Awuzuphangel
akul
eihol
i
day
.
Me:
Ngoba?
Shesighsandwalksaway .Im notgoingto
pest
erheraboutherdeci
si on.Mymom maybe
mybestf r
iend,
butIst
il
lrespectherasmy
mother.SheworksatSpari nWhitt
leseaand
sometimescomeshomel ateespeciall
yonthe
fi
rst
.

Any
way
,If
ini
shupcl
eani
ngandgof
etchmy
unif
ormfrom t
heline.Igobacki
nandmoms
seatedonthecouchwat chi
ngtv
.
Me:
Ndi
phake?
Her
:Pl
ease.
Idishupformeandher .Makazi
andMal ume
knockandIdishf ort
hem too.Mom didsay
they'
ll
becomingt oday.Wechat,mostlyabout
schoolandIclearever
yonesplatesandtake
them tot
hekitchen.
Mama:
Thandoy
izazi
yekei
zi
tya.
Sheshoutsf
rom thelounge.Il
eavet
hedishes
andgositwi
ththem.Mamahast ear
sinher
eyesandMakaziislooki
ngdown.
Malume: Thandolwam nt
ombi.Akhondl
elail
ula
yokuxel
elalento.Kodwangomgqibel
o,abakhozi
bazazokulanda.
Me:
Abakhozi
?
Mal
ume:
Ewent
ombaam.Uy
atshat
a
Ikeepqui
et.I
mtoonumbt
ospeak.
Me:
(whi
sper
ing)ngoba?
Mal
ume:
Mnt
anam,
senzel
awenal
ent
o.
Me:
Mamaawusandi
fun?
Mamaj
ustcr
iessohar
dandMakazi
comf
ort
s
her
.
Iam f
uri
ousIgetupandgot
omyr
oom and
j
ustcryonmybed.

IguessImust
vef
all
enasl
eepbecauseI
m
wokenupbymyalar
m at6.Iwakeupandgo
pee.
Ihearmamasdooropenandshecomesout
.
Hereyesar
epuff
yabdred
Her
:Thandol
wam?
Me:
Ma?
Her
:Im sor
ry
Me:Why
?Thist
imepl
easebeopen.I
m nota
chi
l
danymor
emama.
Her
:Come.Sot
het
haekamer
eny
am.
Ifi
nishupi
nthebat
hroom andgot
oherr
oom.I
getinsi
det
hebedandfaceher.
Her:Thando,I
m unwell
.Ihavecancer
.Mineis
bonemar r
owandl ung.I
vebeengoingtothe
doctor
stogethelpbutnanat hedoct
orsare
hi
ghlyscepti
cal
.It
sspreadallovermybodyand
worsenedinmylungsbaby .I
m...
Ijustl
etoutahugesob.Howcoul dInotnot i
ce.
Ilookatherandreali
seshessoskinny.I
thoughti
twasst r
essorshewasst i
llmourning
myf at
hersdeath.Imoveclosert
oherandj ust
cryinherarms.Whyher?
Me:
Im sosor
rymama.
Shewi
pesmyt
ear
sawayandhol
dsme.
Me:
Ist
hatwhyy
oumar
ryi
ngmeof
f?
Her
:Baby
,Iwanty
out
obet
akencar
eof
.HadI
notbeenli
kethi
s,
y ouknowIdneverdot
his.But
becauseofthesi
tuati
on,Imustdowhatneeds
tobedone.
Iopenmymout hbutsherai
sesherhand,
i
ndicat
ingshesnotdonesoIshutmymout h.
Her:Iknowy ou'
l
lsayy oucant akecareof
yourself,
buthoney , i
mpiloinzi
ma.Iwanty out o
getqual i
tyeducationandbecomesomebody .I
knowbei ngsomeoneswi fewontbei dealbut
atl
easty oul
lgot ot heuniversi
tyofyourchoice
andst udy.Somet hingthatIcannotgiveyou.My
ti
mei salmostupandIneedy outobest r
ong.I
knowy oucandoi tmyangel .
Ismi
l
eandnod.

Wespendt hemor ni
ngtoget
her, t
alki
ngabout
eachot herandshetell
smeal lthethi
ngsthat
wil
l berequir
edofmeasawi fe.Itsmostl
yall
thethingsIdoaphaendl i
nsoitwontbet oo
hard.ItsaThursdaysoshehast ogotowork
l
ateron.Ihaveahugel umpi nmythroatandas
soonasmot herleaves,Il
ockupandcr y.Not
becauseIm getti
ngmar ri
edinatwoday s,but
becausemymot herisbatt
li
ngcanceronher
own.Thatjusttearsmyhear tf
urt
herand
makesmecr yharder.
[
10/
29,
17:
03]Wadz
:£01
Igathermy selfup,washmyf aceandgetthe
potsready.Ther esaknockont hedoorandi
ts
makazi.Iopenupf orherandshewalksin
holdi
ngplastic.
Her
:Mar
ir
i.Phanoza.Mangxi
zakaMakazi
.
Shepinchesmycheekandpecksmyl i
ps.Yho
makazi l
ikestal
kingtomel i
keababyev er
yti
me
sheseesme.Shesbar renumakazi soshe
tr
eatsmel i
keIm herown.Hernamei s
ThandiswaQumbu, shesmomsy oungersist
er
whostay seDongwe.Shes34, unmar ri
edand
worksatSt andar
dBank.Shel ovesmet odeath
andspoilsmeev erychancesheget s.Shesa
verybeauti
ful
womanwi thgreeneyesandl ong
hairandacaramel skintone.Makazihasthat
gorgeoushour-gl
assf i
gure.Shewasmar r
ied10
yearsagobutherthenhusbandusedt oabuse
herandendedupmar r
yinganotherwomanand
havingkidswit
hher .SoMakazi fi
ledfordi
v orce
andl ef
t.

Me:
Mol
oMaki
wam.
Shesmi lesatmeandputstheplast
icsonthe
couch.Shesnotherbubblysel
fanymore.She
comest omeandhugsme.Shebr eaksdown
andcr i
esonmyshoul der
.Ifol
l
owandcr yon
hers.Shepullsawayandwipesmyt ear
s.
Her:UxoloThando.I
fIcoul
d,Iwoul
dtakeyoui
n
butumamakhoi sadamentinherdeci
sion.
Yhi
ni usanal
wam
Tear
sjustr
oll
downherey
es.
Me:
Itsokaymakazi
butpr
omi
semeonet
hing?
Her
:Any
thi
ng.
Me:
You'
l
lbet
her
ewhenIneedy
oumost
.
Her
:Okomnt
anam oko!
!
Shehugsmeagai nandkissesmecheek.She
wipesmyt ear
swi t
hherthumbsandgiv esmea
reassuri
ngsmileeventhoughherey
est el
la
diff
erentst
ory
.Shesighsandt ur
nstothe
couch.
Her
:Ndikut
hengel
eimpahl
azobuKot
ivha?Tr
y
t
hem on.
It
akethet
wopl ast
icsf
rom herandgotrythe
at
ti
reon.I
tdoesntl
ookrightbutke,
ndazini
?
Iwal
koutandshesmi
l
es.
Her
:Awumhl
e.Howdot
heyf
eel
?
Me:
Wei
rd.
Shegetsupandf i
xesme.Shet iesthebl
ack
doekproper
ly,
placesthetowelnicel
yovermy
shoul
derandfixesthescarfar
oundmywai st
.
Her:Heke!You'l
lmakeabeaut
if
ulbr
ide.
Especi
all
ywi tht
hoseey
es,smil
eanddimpl
es.
Rha!Uzonyisa.
Il
aughsohar
d.Makazi
hasawayof
br
ight
eni
ngupmydaywi t
houtev
ent
ryi
ng.

Inmot hersroom, Igot othef ulll

engt hmi r
ror
andl ookatmy self.Myey esar et hi
sdar k,
magi calgreenthattur
nl ightbr ownwhenI m
mad.Myski ntonei salightcar amel andonmy
l
ef tcheekisadeepdi mpl e.Myhai risabl ack,
sof tafr
othatisbig,mybr eastsar eaf i
rm C-cup
andmyl egshav easli
ghtt hi
ghgap.Mybum i s
roundedandsor tofbig,formybodywi t
hsmal l
hipst oaccompanyt hat.Mybel lyisflatandmy
feetar easize4.Idrawi nabr eathwhenIl ook
i
nt othemi rr
or,Il
ookol derandunl ikemy selfat
all
.Isighandgobackt othel ounge.Ij ustfeel
sosadr i
ghtnow.
Maki
:Comesi
tnextt
ome.
Igosi
tnextt
oher
.
Her:Baby,yourmot herisdoingwhatshet hinks
i
sbestf oryou.Dontshutheroutpl ease.You
knowhowmuchshel ovesyouandt hi
sis
tear
ingherapartbutshesput t
ingupabr ave
faceforyou.It
snoteasyonal lofusandwe
wishimekowasdi fferent.Pl
easetrybaby ,
what
i
fitsnotsobadaf terall
.
Whatifhelovesyouandyoul
ovehimtoo?Just
thi
nkofall
theposit
iveout
comethatmaycome
ofthi
smarriage.

Isi
ghandnod.
Me:
Doy
ouknowhi
m?
Shenods.
Her:Hi
snamei sMeli
sizweMvelase.Hesfrom
CapeTown.Heownsanumberofbusi nesses
i
nconstruct
ionandhasfarmstoo.Hes30
year
sold.
Igasp
Me:Yhuuuu!!
!!
!Thenwhydoeshewanttomar r
y
ateenage?I
sheoneoft hose'Iwantav
irgi
n'
t
ypeguy ?Howf uckencr
eepy!
Makazi
laughssohar
d!
Her:Hayi
Thando!Nam andazi
butmmmm
mhleumfanavha?Uyanyi
sa.Mmm ubahe
wantedanol
derwomanngekudala
ndamxhumelay
o!
Il
aught
oo
Me:
Hay
iwet
hu.Sowhyi
snthemar
ri
edke?
Makazi
shr
ugs.
Her:Andazi
.Butkodwahe'l
lbeget
ti
ngadamn
goodwife.Pr
omisemey ouwonthesit
atet
o
cal
lmei fhetr
eatsyoubadl
y?
Me:
Ipr
omi
se.
Her:Ungat
hul
iThandounyamezel
eamasi
mba
uyev
ha?Akubethenjendi
zokul
anda!
Il
aughandnod.Igetupandchangebacki nt
o
mytracksui
tandt
ankt op.Igobackt ot
he
l
oungeandshegivesmet heothertwopl
asti
cs.
Oneisfil
l
edwithl
acy,sexylinger
ieandpadded
br
as.
Me:
Andt
hen?
Her:Hayikalokuumdal angokusoy ouhaveto
l
ookandf eel t
hepar t
.Nomor echi
ldi
sh
underwearandgr annypanties.Rha!Anyway
,we
haveimportantt hingstodiscussbefore
umamakhoaf ike.
Inodandexcusemy sel
ftocheckonmypots.I
swit
chthem of
f,maketeaforMakaziandgoto
thel
ounge.Shethanksmeandsi psonit
.
Her
:Iwantt
otal
kaboutsex.
Icough.
Me:
Huh?
Her:Ewe.Mamelake,
ngomsosizoyaecl
ini
c
uyocwangci
saukwaziungameet
hi.Thef
ir
st
ti
mei tsgoingtobepainful.Alot
.Andy ouwil
l
bleed,notalot.Justal
it
tle.Butaft
erthefi
rst
twot i
mes, i
tsgoingtobeamazi ng.Youmust
l
ear ntopleasureyourmanandsuckhi m.
Myey
eswi
denandshebur
stsoutl
aughi
ng.
Her
:Eweman!
Me:
Siesmakazi
.No.
Her:
Hehake!Hesgoingtopleasur
eyounawe
youmustl
earntopleasur
ehimt oo.I
tsnothar
d.
I
tsli
keumuncaist
ockiewethu.
Icl
osemyearsandshakemyhead.Ir
aisemy
handtost
opher
Me:Makazi
Iknowhowt
ogi
veabl
owj
ob
pheza.
Herey
eswidenandshehit
smeonmyar m.She
scr
eamsi
nlaughterandt
hrowsherheadback.
Her
:Hai
bosi
ncewhen?
Me:
Grade10.Ev
ent
houghI
venev
erbeen
penetr
atedIv
ehador alsexwethu.Sodont
worryaboutthatdepar
tment.
Shesscr
eami
ngandl
aughi
ng.
Her
:Thando!
!!
!Awumdal
agi
rl
.
Inodandlookdownsmi
l
ing.I
m so
embarr
assed.
Her:Hay
idontbeshythat
sgood.Sokey
our
e
set
.Whydidntyoutel
lme?
Me:
Bendi
soy
ikat
shn!
Shelaughsandshakesherhead.Wesitand
chatnjeandshesaysshessleepi
ngov
erwhich
i
snopr oblem.

Mom comesbackwi t
hbraaiedmeatfrom
eSi
munyewhichweeatnomngqushoIcooked
i
ntheafter
noon.Wechatandeatandl augh.I
ts
sospeci
alandpreci
ous.Aft
erIm donewashing
di
shes,mom cal
lsmet otheloungeandIsit
.
Her
:Nana,abakwaMv el
asebatshi
ntshe
i
ngqondo.Bayezangomsolate.
Il
ookathershocked!
Me:
Hai
boMama?
Her
:BabyI
m sor
ry.
Me:
Doy
ouwantt
ogetr
idofmesoqui
ckl
y?
Mama:
Nobaby
!It
swhatwasi
nthecont
ract
!
Me:
Cont
ract
?Whatcont
ract
?
Mamawhatar
eyounott
ell
i
ngme?
Shehol
dshermouthandshakesherhead.
Makazist
andsupandcomesovertoherand
comfor
tsher.
Me:
Mama!
!!
!Thandi
we!Ndi
xel
ele.
Mama: ThandoIm notsupposedt otel
lyoubut
wheny ouwereborn,youwer en'
tbreat
hing
proper
lyandwedidnthav ethefundstot ake
careofyou.DrMvelasetooky outothebest
hospit
alsandint
urny ourfat
herpromisedhim
yourhandinmar r
iaget ohi
sy oungestson.In
thecontr
actsitst
ipulatesthatafteryouare
donewithexams, twoday slateryoushallbe
takenbythem andt heyhavetot akey out
othe
bestuni
versi
tymoneycanbuy /ofy our
choosi
ng.
I
m speechless.Inf
act,
numb.I m sotir
edof
motherssecretsthati
tsdrai
ningme.
Andingumntuuthandanolil
asoIj ustnod,say
goodnightandlockmy sel
finmyr oom.Ijust
geti
ntobedandt r
ytosleep.Thi
si sall
justtoo
muchf orme.
[
10/
29,
17:
05]Wadz
:£02
Iwakeupear l
yt henextdayandcl eant he
houseanddol aundry.Ibath,wearmyshor ts
andcami sol
eandpumps.Icombmyhai rand
ti
eit
.It
spast8whenI m doneandIt akeat axi
toW/sea.Iwal ktoNelsonMj uzacli
nicand
l
uckil
yitsnotfullyet
.Imakemywayt ogett he
3mont hcontracepti
ve.Thenur seexplainsbut
i
tf al
l
sondeafear s.Mymi ndisnther ebutat
thesituati
onathand.Shei njectsmeandgi ves
meabookl etwhichstat esthenameoft he
i
njectionandwhenIshoul dgoagai n.Ithank
herandl eave.Igot othesalonwhi chi sempt y
andr elaxmyl onghair.Theyal wayschar geme
R5ext rabecausemyhai rissol ong.UsuallyI
argueandwi nbuttodayI mj ustnotinthemood.
Ipayandl eave.Icatchaf ulltaxibackhomeat
past11.Igethome.AssoonasIopent hedoor,
Im metbyawar m hugandt ears.It
smymom
andaunt .

Them:
Uvel
aphi
?
Makazi
:Yeeeerungumnqundusuka!
!!
Il
aughsohar
d.HawuMaki
.
Me:Ndivel
eVetl
i
s(t
hat
sWhi t
tl
esea)
.
Bendi
yocwangci
saandndokwenzanent
loko.
Mama:
Hai
bouy
acwangci
sa?
Me:
Ewebendi
qal
akephof
.
Mama: Ohsanalwam!Your esogrown.Jonga
kehambochinchasizohambasiyeetown
si
yothengai
ntozot
hambi saxauhamba.
Ismileatbot hoftheseladiesandgot omy
room.Mybagsar ealreadypackedandt heres
anout f
italr
eadylaidonmybed.I tsnavyripped
j
eans, whit
echucksandt hi
sni cewhiteoff
shouldertop.It
sreall
ypr et
ty.Thereareloop
earri
ngsont hebedt ooandaj eanjacket
.Iget
dressedquicklyandgr abmybr ownbagandgo.

Wegett otownandwal ktot hemall

.Mama
buysmet oil
etri
esandthisr
eal l
yexpensi
ve
perfumefrom Edgars.I
tsmel l
sreal
lyni
ce.I
l
ov eit
.Makazi buysme2dr essedfrom
Foschini
.They'rebot
hoffshouldermaxi
dressesthatarebodyhugger sandsandal
s.We
thengotoSpurandeatandchat .Mamagi v
es
meabankcar d,sayi
ngsheopenedmyown
accounti
thasaf ewhundr
edsinitandIshoul
d
keepit
.Im sohappyandexci
ted.
Maki:Nana,
youknowt
hatsi
yakut
handa
kakhul
unomamakho?
Inodandcanf
eel
tear
sthr
eat
eni
ngt
ofal
l
.
Mama: Pleasemntanam xaupha.Uzi phathe
kakuhle.Ungasidanisi
.Ndiyakwazi ubaasoze
uzi
phoxenoThandi swa.Umt handeumy eni
wakhonaxasel ekubi .Umkhut hazeandbehi s
shouldertoleanonev ha?Butatthesamet i
me,
dontlethim walkallov ery
ou.Standupt ohi
m
butinar espect
fulmannerav ha?
Inodwit
htearsfal
li
ngdownmyface.Icansee
theguyonthetabl
enextt
ousi
sconcer nedbut
hedoesntmove.
Mama:Andpleasenanawam, dontwor
ryabout
me.Li
veyourl
ifetot
hefull
est
.ThatswhatI
wanty
outodof orme.Behappyandlovewit
h
al
lofy
ourheartandsoul
.Uyevha?
Inodagain.Im unabl
et ospeak.Theemot i
ons
Im goi
ngthroughhav elockedmyv oi
ceandl et
thetear
stakeitsplace.Maki comesaroundand
givesmeahugandki ssesmycheek.Wi thher
thumbs,shewipesmyt earsaway.Mama
brushesmyhandandsmi l
esatme.Wef i
nish
upandgohome.

Assoonasweappr oachthehouse, t
her ei
sa
whiteHil
uxpar kedoutsi
demygat e.Isighand
sodoesmom.Webot hlaughathowwebot h
sighedatthesamet i
me.Wegetof fandcarry
theplast
icsin.Thedoorsoft hecaropenanda
tall
,dar
kmancomesout .Hegoest ot heback
seatandopenst hedoor.Aneldermancomes
out.Heslooksol denoughtobemyf ather,I
hopehesnotmysoont obehubby .
Mama:
DrMv
elase.
Hesmi
l
esbr
oadl
yatmymot
her
Hi
m:Mol
oThandi
we.Usemhl
enangoku.And
whoi
sthi
s?
Ismileashelooksatme.Sohe' sthedrthat
savedmyl i
fe?Hesr eall
ycuteforanoldguy.Oh
shitI
m star
ing.Il
ookatuMakazi whosjawis
pract
ical
l
yont hefloor.Inudgeherandshe
shutshermout h.
Her
:Hi
.
Hesmi
l
esandshakesherhand.
Hi
m:Andyoumustbet
helovel
yThandokazi
?
Awwazewamuhl
eumntu.Uzokwenzaumakoti
omhl
e.
Iblushandshakehishand.Wewal ki
nsideand
Ipackmyt oil
etr
iesi
nmybagsandsi tonmy
bed.Iwalkaroundmyr oom andopenmy
war dr
obeandf i
ndsomeofmyf av
ouri
tejeans
arestil
lher
e.Iwonderwhatsinthebagsthen?I
browsemyr oom onelastt
imebeforeIm cal
led
overbyumama.Igoout
Me:
Ma?
Her
:Ti
met
ogobaby
.
Inodandgof etchmybags.Mal umewal ksi n
andgi v
esmeahugehugandgi vesmeanot her
bagwhi chi
squitebigandabrandnewbl anket.
Hewi pesatearandhelpsmecar r
ymyst uffout
.
UDaps( myuncl
eswi f
e.Ical
lherdaps)hugsme
sot i
ghtl
yandkissesmeal l
overmyf ace.I
giggl
e
Her:Uzi
phat
hekakuhl
e.Iwi
shy
oual
lthebest
nana.Il
oveyou.
Ismil
eatherandsqueezeherhands.Ol
uhle(
my
cousi
n)gi
vesmeawr appedpresentandhugs
me.Shescryi
ngsomuch.
Her
:Im goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.I
llcal
lyouev
a?
Ismil
eandnod.Imt
oomuchofanemot
ional
wrecktospeak.
Mama:
Seey
ounextweekend.Il
ovey
ou.
Makazi
:Nam.Thandasanal
wam.
Ihugandki
ssbot
handMal
umewal
kswi
thme
tothecarwher
eweloadmybags.Thedri
ver
opensformeandIgeti
n.Iwav
eatevery
one
andwedr i
veof
f.

Im quietthewholewayuntilIev
ent uall
yfall
asleep.Im wokenupbyapr essi
ngneedt opee.
Iopebmyey esandwear enearingSt utt
erhei
m.
Ili
ghtlytaponDrMv el
asesshoul der,hesont he
phone.Heexcuseshi mselft
owhomev erhes
tal
kingtoandt ur
nstome
Hi
m:Ewent
ombam?
Me:
Tat
abendi
zocel
aibat
hroom aphaeSt
utt
.
Hi
m:Akhongxak.
Hesmi lesandIsmileback.Heconti
nues
tal
ki
ngont hephoneandi pr
essmythighs
ti
ghter.Ir
eall
yhavetogo.Yhuuu!Wegetto
Stut
tandgot oSpar
.AsIm abouttoopen,t
he
doorlocks.Haw!
DrMv
elase:
Promi
seawuzubal
eka?
Il
aughsohar
dthatIal
mostpeemy
sel
f
Me:Asozet
ata.Andi
nophoxaabazal
ibam
ngel
ohl
obo.
Hesmi
l
es.
Me:Kodwake, i
fitmakesy
oufeelbet
ter
,
ungandi
khaphaundil
i
ndengaphandl
e.
Henodsandcomesoutwi t
hme.I m practicall
y
runningt othebat hroom andhesonmyt ail.The
l
adyatt hebat hroomssay sitsR2t ogoi n.Fuck,
mypur seisi nthecar.Im bouncingar ound,
fumbl i
ngf orchangei nmypocket s.DrMv elase
clear
shi sthroatandgivesmet heR2.It hank
him andsmi l
e.AssoonasIgoi n, i
tsflowsl i
ke
theNi agraf all
s.Thatfeel
sdamngoodImust
say.Af terI
m doneIwashmyhandswi thsoap
andappl yal i
tt
leli
pbalm onmyl ipsandgoout .

DrMvelasei
ssti
ll
atthedoorandsmil
eswhen
heseesme.Inf
act,hebr
eathesasi
ghofr
eli
ef
butIchooset
oignor
ethat
.
Hi
m:Ar
eyouhungr
y?Thi
rst
y?
Me:
Icoul
ddowi
thsomewat
erpl
ease.
Hesmi lesandnods.Wewal ksidebysi
de
i
nsideSparandIgetwat er
.Whenher eaches
forDoritosonthetopshel
f,Iseeagunathis
waist.Whatthefuck!
!Iqui
cklylookawayatthe
chocolatesbutwit
hthecornerofmyey e,
Isee
him pulldownhisshi
rt
.Washegoi ngtoshoot
mei fIran?
Isl
i
ghtlyst
artt
rembl
ing.Whatkindofafamil
y
am Imarry
ingi
nto?Mythoughtsaredi
stur
bed
byhim
DrMv
elase:
Woul
dyoul
i
kesomechocol
ate?
Il
ookathi
m andnodshy
ly.
Hi
m:Take.Asmanyasy
ouwant
.
IgiggleandtakeaCadburybuscui
t.Idontl
ike
Lindtchocol
ate,i
tst
oorichformypalateand
Im all
ergi
ctonutssoIcanthavetheFerrer
o
Rocher
.
Mv
elase:
Ist
hati
t?
Me:
Ewet
ataenkosi
.
Hi
m:Awuzut
ya?
Me:
Bendi
tyi
l
ephambkokubandi
zet
ata
Henodsandget ssomef oodforhim andhi s
dri
ver
.Wepayandl eave.Mymi ndisstil
lreali
ng
onthegunissueIcantgetitoutofmymi nd.I
hopeIdontgetkil
l
ed.Myphoner ings.It
s
umama.
Me:
Heymom.
Her
:Ni
ndawoni
nana?
Me:Sigqi
thaeSt
uttngoku.I
ngat
hsi
bheka
ngaseMonti.
Her
:Ohokay
.Ut
shoxani
fi
ka.
Me:
Okaymyl
ove.
Her
:Lov
eyou
Me:
Lov
eyoumost
.
Her
:Lov
eyoumost
est
.Mwa.
Shedropsthecal
landI
mlef
tgi
ggl
i
ngand
smil
i
ngl i
keanidi
ot.

Whi l
egoingt hroughmyphot os, i
tdawnsonme
thatmamai snotgoi ngt obear oundf orlong.I
hopeandpr aythatuMakazi andOl uhl
edont
makeherf eel alone.Myhear tjustbreaksatt he
thoughtthatIf i
ndmy sel
fsniffi
ngwi tht ears
roll
i
ngdownmyf ace.Mymot herismywhol e
wor l
d,f
rom bei ngmycar etakerandpr oviderto
mybestf ri
endandsi ster.Mv el
asehandsmea
ti
ssue.Imt ooembar rassedtolookathi m.
Hi
m:Pleasedontcr
y.Asi
zukul
i
maza.Wewi
l
l
t
akecareofyouasourown.
Inodandcrysoft
er.IguessImjust
overwhel
medbyt hesepastfewdays.Fr
om
scholart
omarri
age.Icanthelpmytears
f
lowing.Idrinksomewat ertocalm my self
i
nsteaditjustmakesmat t
erswor sethatIf i
nd
myselfunabletobreathe.Im gaspingforai r
whichseemsoutofr each.ThelastthingI
r
ememberi sMv el
asesshockedexpr essi onand
t
heni tgoesdark.
[
10/
29,
17:
06]Wadz
:£03
Im wokenupbyasof tshakeandIopenmy
eyes.Brown/hazeley
esarelooki
ngatme.I
smileandhehel psmeup.DrMv elasehas
beauti
fuleyes,howdidInotnoti
ce?
Hi
m:Ar
eyouokay
?
Inod
Me:
Im sor
ryDrMv
elase.
Hef
rownsandshakeshi
sheadsmi
l
ing
Hi
m:Youaretoomodestforyourowngood.
Ar
eyouexper
ienci
nganyheadache
Me:
NoSi
r
Hi
m:Doy
ouknowwhoy
ouar
e?
Me:Yes.Ndi
nguThandokaziNqumbo.Theonl
y
daught
erofThandi
weandt helastbor
nof
Mpumelel
oNqumbo.
Hesmi
l
esandnods
Hi
m:Doy
ouknowwher
ewear
e?
Me:
uhm.
..
Il
ookar
oundandi
tseemsl
i
kewear
einKi
ng
Wil
li
amsTown.
Me:
Looksl
i
keKi
ng.
Hesmi
l
es.
Him: Okayyour
eokay.Ntombi(
gir
l)
,Iknowthat
thi
sisallabitt
oomuchf oryouandyoure
overwhelmed.ButIpr
omisethatmyfamil
yand
Iwillt
akecareofyouli
keourowndaughter.
Pleasestopstr
essi
ngsomuch
Inodandbowmyhead.I
mt ooembarrassedt
o
l
ookhimintheey
e.WeareparkednearKFC.
Him:Wear ebuyi
ngfood,whatwouldyouli
ke?
Andpleasedontsayno,t
hejourneyaheadi
s
st
il
lfar
.Letmef eedyou.
Igi
ggl
e.
Mee:Okay
.Idl
i
kedunkedwi
ngsandanor
eo
cr
usher
.
Hi
m:Qha(
onl
y)?Ar
eyoucomi
ngwi
th?
Ishakemyheadno.
Me:
Ifi
tsokaywi
thy
ou,
Idl
i
ket
ost
ayi
nthecar
.
Henodsandleav
es.Imlef
twiththedr
iver
.He
t
akesouthi
sphoneandcallssomeoneandI
j
ustdozeof
f.Imti
red.

WhenIopenmyey es,
weareinEastLondon,
headi
ngf
ortheai
rport
.DrMvelasei
sont he
phone
Hi
m:Youbett
erbehomewhenIar
ri
ve
t
omorr
ow..
.
Cal
l
er:
..
..
Hi
m:Mel
i
sizwe,
mywor
disf
inal
.
Hedropst
hecall
andletsoutasigh.Isi
tupand
dr
inkmywater
.Mv el
asetur
nshishead
Hi
m:Her
eisy
ourf
oodmakot
i.
Hehandsmet heKFCpackandIt hankhim and
l
ooki nside.Hesboughtme8dunkedwi ngsand
thecrusher.Theresal
soaburgerinsidebutI
dontthinkthatsmine.Ieatmywingsanddr ink
i
nsilence.Myphonebuzzesandi tsMakazi.
Me:
Myl
ove
Her
:Mybaby
.Uphi
(wher
eyou)
?
Me:
Looksl
i
keEastLondonai
rpor
t.
Her
:Oh?
Me:Yeah.I
llcal
lyouxasesi
fi
keendl
i
ni(
when
wearr
iveatthehouse)
Her
:Okay
.Lov
eyou.
Me:
Lov
eyout
oo.By
e.
Shehangsup.

Thecarcomestoast
opandI
m doneeat
ing.I
m
qui
teful
lyhu.
Mv
elase:
Masehl
eni
ke.
Heopensmydoorandwegetout .Hethrows
awayt heKFCpackett ogetherwiththebur ger
andIgr abmypur seandf ol
lowhim.Thedr iver
offloadsourbagsandwegoi n.Wegot othis
othersidewherewewal kt otheplane.Imt oo
dumbst rucktospeak.DrMv elaseisholdingmy
handandwegeti ntheplane.Ithinkmymout h
j
ustdr ops.It
shugewi t
hcouchesandt ableson
eachsi de.
Mv
elase:
Closey
ourmout
h,f
li
eswi
l
lgeti
n.
Il
aughandcl
osemymout
h
Hi
m:Fi
rstt
imeonapr
ivat
epl
ane?
Me:
Fir
stt
imeonapl
ane!
Hechuckl esatt hewayIsayi tandt hedr i
ve
comesi nabi tlater.Aladycomesoutand
greetsus.Sheof f
erssomet hi
ngt odr i
nkandI
decline.Mv elasehassomewhi skeyandt he
driv
erhaswat er.Theladybucklesmei nand
l
eav es.Thepl anecomest ol i
feandI m petr
ified.
Im holdingont omyseatf ordearlifeandIf eel
tearsont heirway .I
m shaki
ngpr ofuselyandmy
handsar estar t
ingtohurtfr
om hol dingtheseat
sot i
ghtly.
Dr
iver
:Rel
ax.Justbr
eat
hei
nandout
.
Ismil
eathim.Hehasareal
l
ysexyv
oiceand
beaut
if
ulsmil
e.Thebear
dmakeshi
m even
morehandsome.
Hi
m:Qondi
khay
a.
Me:
Thandokazi
.
Hesmi l
esandnods.Helowershi
shatov
erhi
s
faceandsl
eeps.Icantsl
eep.I
mtooawaketo
sleep.
Mv
elase:
Vukanont
ombi
sesi
fi
ki
le.
Iopenmyey esandhef l
asheshi ssmi l
eatme.I
smileback.Thel adyunbuckl esmybel tandI
getup.Iwal koutoft heplane, withmypur sein
hand,andam wel comedbycol dCapeTownai r.
WhenIl ookatmyphone, it
spast1t hemor ni
ng.
Wegeti ntothecarandQondi loadsmyl uggage
i
nt hecar.Mv el
asedr i
vesusoutal l
thewayt o
hi
shouse.I tsintheuppereastsi deofCape
Town.Aswedr i
vet here,t
hev i
ewoft hebeach
i
samazi ngasi tspar kl
esint hemoonl ight.Im
speechless.Thecarst opsi nfr
ontofahuge
gateandt hegateopens.Wear ewel comedbya
beauti
fuldoublest oryhomewi thani vor
yand
golddoor.

DrMvel
aseopensupandwegoi n.Heshows
metomyroom andIopenandgoi n.Theroom
i
shugewit
hakingsizedbed.WhenIwal kint
o
thecloset,therearemal eclotheshangi ngon
thehanger sandshoesont heonesi de.Theres
aknockonmydoorandQondi comesi nwi th
myl uggage.It hankhi m andopenonoft he
suit
cases.It akeoutmyt oi
letrybagandpack
myt oil
etri
esi nthere.Ther eisat owel t
ooand
mywashcl oth.Isear chforpy j
amasandt here
arentany.Justni ghtgowns.Ver y,v
erysexy
onesatt hat .Hmmm. ..any way ,ipickthegrey
l
acyoneandsi lkgown.Iopenanot herbagand
mysl i
ppersar ei nt
her e.Igot ot hebat hroom
whichisbigt ooandshower .Aftermyshower ,I
getdressedandcal lmom.
Mama:
(inasl
eepyv
oice)
Hel
l
o
Me:Himamasesi
fi
ki
le.Si
sekapa(Wehav
e
ar
ri
ved.We'
rei
nCapeTown)
Her
:Hai
bo!Msi
nyakangaka(
sosoon)
?
Me:Ewentombisihambengepl
ane!
(yesgi
rl
.We
camewit
ht hepl
ane)
Her
:Hai
bo!Ut
hinaphakum?
(real
l
y)
?:NguThandol
owo(Ist
hatThando)?
Uthi
ni(
Whatisshesayi
ng)
?Baphi(Wher
ear
e
they
)?
Mama: EweuthibaseKapabahambe
ngepl
ane.(
shesaystheiri
nCapeTown.Thyl
eft
wit
htheplane)
Me:
Banl
owo?
(whost
hat
)
Her
:Thandi
swa.
Me:Undi
bul
isel
e.Mandil
alesothethangomso.
Uyat
handwandim.(
Greetherfor.I
m goingt
o
sl
eepnow.Loveyou)
Her
:Thandanam nana.Lal
ekakuhl
e.(Lov
eyou
t
oo.Sl
eepwell
)
Idropthecall
andgeti
ntobed.Isetmyal
arm
onandt akeoutmychar
gerinmypurseand
chargemyphone.
I
m wokenupbymyal ar
m andIgoshower
.
Aft
erIm doneshoweri
ng,i
dontknowwhatto
wearsoIcallMakazi
Makazi
:Baby
Me:Hey.Idontknowwhatt
owear
.What
shoul
dIwear?
Her:
Wearoneofthemaxidresseswit
hadoek
andpumps.Younustr
espectthei
rhomekal
oku.
Me:
Okay
.Thanky
ou.
Idropthecallandtakeouttheof fshoulder
fl
oralmaxidressandpumps.Isear chfora
doekandi fi
ndapur pl
eone.I tgoeswell wi
th
mydr essandIweari t
.Iwearmysi l
verstuds
andgocheckmy selfi
nthemi rror
.Nottoobad.
Imaket hebedandgoout .Ilookar oundforthe
ki
tchenandIf i
ndit.Ther
esal adyinhergown
hummi ngandsway ingherhips.
Me:
Mol
weni
ma(
Goodmor
ningma)
Shet
urnsandshescr
eamswhensheseesme.
Idontknowwhatt
omakeoft
hissoIst
and
ther
efrozen.
Her:
Yhuuuu!Awusemhl
e(Your
esobeaut
if
ul)
i
zapha(
comehere).
Shecomesov erandengulfsmei nahugs.She
hol
dsmycheeksandt ear
sr ol
ldownherface.
I
mj uststar
ingather,speechlessand
motionl
ess.
Her
:Oh.Sorr
y.Im Mr
sMv
elase.Yourhusband
t
obe'smother.
Ismi
l
eandnod
Me:Im Thandokazi
Nqumbo.Yourf
utur
e
daught
erinlaw.
Her:
Youreyes.Wow!
!!Andthatdi
mpl
e.Ooo
yougoi
ngtomakealov el
ybri
de.
Me:
Thanky
ou.I
llt
rymybest
.
Her
:whatar
eyoudoi
ngupsoear
ly?
Me:
Im her
etomakehr
eakf
astorany
thi
ngt
hat
needst
obedone.
Shesmi l
esandtakesmyhand.Wemake
breakf
asttoget
herwhi
lewehaveaf
rui
tf
ulchat
andlaugh.
Her
:Soy
our
e18?
Me:
Yesma
Her
:donewi
thgr
ade12?
Me:
YesIhopeso.Justwai
ti
ngf
ormymar
ks
Her
:Sowhatdoy
ouwantt
odonexty
ear
?
Me:
Uhm st
udyt
obecomi
nganaudi
tor
.
Her
:Wow.Hav
eyouappl
i
edatuni
ver
sit
ies?
Me:
Yesma.
Her
:And?
Me:Iwasaccept
edatStel
l
enbosch,CapeTown
andWit
s.ButIdonthav
ethefundssoIwas
goi
ngtoatt
endatWSUi nWhi
ttl
esea.
Her
:mmm.
.butnowsi
nceuSi
zwemadeadeal
wit
hyourfat
her
,he'
l
lpayf
ory
ourst
udi
esand
youcango.
Me:
IhopeIhav
egoodenoughmar
kst
hough.
Shesmi l
esandpinchesmycheek.Shewal
ks
outoftheki
tchenandImlef
tsetti
ngupatt
he
tabl
e.

Ayoungladywear
ingpyj
amaswal
ksi
n.Her
hai
rinadoekandherhandsf
ondl
i
ngherphone
sheseesmeandfreezes
Her
:Hi
.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Her
:Thandokazi
?
Ismi
l
eandnod
Her
:Suzuki
we.
Me:
pleasedt
omeety
ou.
Her
:Li
kewi
se.Yousopr
ett
y.
Me:
Thanky
ou.Woul
dyoul
i
kesomef
ood?
Shesay
snot
hingandjustst
aresatme.Ifeel
so
awkwar
dsoIjustst
andther
einsil
ence.
Her
:Mybr
otheri
sonel
uckymot
her
fucker
.
Shet
urnsandl
eav
es.Aaaah.
..t
hatwaswei
rd.
[
10/
29,
17:
07]Wadz
:£04
Anothergi
rlcomesdownstai
rs,
weari
ngabi
g
shi
rtandshortswit
hsneaker
s.Iwi
shIwasher
.
Herhairi
sti
edi nabun
Her
:HeyThando.I
m Sazi
kazi
.
Ismi
l
eandshecomesandgi
vesmeahug
Her
:yousmel
lsogood.
Me:
Your
esopr
ett
y.
Sheblushesandgi
ggl
es.Shel
ooksmei
nmy
eyesandsmiles
Her
:Wow!Yourey
esar
eheav
enl
y.
Ibl
ushandl
ookaway
.
Shesi
tsandtel
lsmeabouthersel
f.Shes16,
doi
nggrade10.Shel
ovesdrawingandsingi
ng.
Her
:That
spr
ett
ymuchi
t.You?
Me:Uhm.
.well
,I
m 18.Justf
ini
shedmymatri
c,
I
m anul
ti
matebookworm andthat
sabouti
tso
f
ar.
Webothgi
ggl
e.DrandMr
sMv
elasecome
down
Dr
:Goodmor
ningThando.
Me:
Goodmor
ningSi
r.
Isayl
ooki
ngdown.Thepresenceoft hi
sman
makesmeallsweat
yandf uzzy
.Idontlikeit
.He
i
ntimi
dat
esmeespecial
lynowt hatIknowhe
hasagun.Ayounggi
rlcomesint oowiththem
Her
:Hel
l
oThando.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Seemsli
keever
yonealr
eadyknowsmeinthis
houseandI
m notsur
ehowIf eel
aboutt
hat.
Her
:Im Si
mthandi
l
e.AndI
m 4.
Shegi
vesmeahugandIhugherback.Shesso
warm.
Her
:Your
esopr
ett
y.
Me:
Justl
i
key
ou.
Shegigglesandweal lgotothet abletobe
seat
ed.Mamai sadamantt hatIsitandeat.
Ther
ei sconversat
ionaroundt hetable,wel
li
ts
mostl
ySi mthandil
etal
kingwi t
hherSi zwe.
Si
zwe:
Lov
e,whenar
etheboy
scomi
ng?
Her
:Luncht
ime.Andnoy
ounotgoi
ngt
owor
k
mybaby.
Hepout
s.Andsheki
sseshi
m ont
hel
i
ps
Si
m:Euw!
Sazi
:Wehav
eaguest
Suzi
:Hav
esomer
espectf
ort
hepoorgi
rl
sey
es!
Ij
ustgi
ggl
eandsodoesumama.
Aft
erbreakf
ast,Icl
earupandof f
ertowash
di
shes.Sazihel
psmeandSuzi sweeps.Weall
cl
eanthehouseandt henwestartonlunch.
Suzigoestothemothersroom upst
air
sand
comesbackwi t
hacar dandcarkeys
Suzi:
Let
sgopi
ckupt
hemeatandaf
ewt
hings
atthemall
.
Inodgetti
ngup,wewalktothegarage.When
thedooropens,mymouthdrops.Somanycars!
Theresli
ke15ifI
m notmist
aken.Im notacar
fanati
csoIcantnamethem.
Me:
Woaw!
Sazi
andSuzi
laugh.
Suzi opensabigonethatl
ooksl i
kea4x4and
wel eaveforthemall
.Thedri
veisshorttothe
butcherytopickupmeatandt henthemall.We
got oCheckerstogetwineandsnacks.Then
wakaber ryandgetf
rozenyoghurt.I
m notused
toitsoIgetv anil
laandputinal
otofdif
ferent
chocolatepiecesandgummywor ms.Sim
l
aughsandget sthesame.Shestoocute.Then
wegohome.Sazi ispest
eri
ngmetoshowher
myhai r.It
aket hedoekoffi
nthecarandshe
gasps
Her
:Azi
ntl
e(y
ourhai
rissobeaut
if
ul)
.
Il
augh
Me:
Mxm hamba!

Ifi
xmyhai randgoinsi
de.Wemar i
nateand
spicet hemeatbecauset heguy saregoi ngt o
braai.Wemakesal adsandsetupf ort hebr aai.
TatauSi zwet ell
sSuzit
ogopi ckupbeer satt he
l
iquorst ore.Whenshesgone, igot omyr oom
andf reshenup.Thedooropenswhi leImr e-
doingmydoekandagodessofanAf r
ican
brotherwal ksin.Hesmuscularandl ooks
deli
ciousi nrippedj
eansandanav ytshirt.Hi s
hairisinani cecutandthoselipstodief or .I
dontl
ookf
orl
ong.
Hi
m:Ohsor
ry.
Fuckhi
svoi
ce!Adefi
nat
epanty-dr
opper.I
ts
ni
ceanddeepandIcoul
djustgetl
ostinit
.
Me:
Nopr
obl
em.I
llbeoutofy
ourwaysoon.
Hi
m:uhm,
HiI
m Mel
i
sizwe
Me:
Thandokazi
.
Istret
choutmyhandandgi vehim afi
rm
handshake.Hiseyesarethi
sgorgeoushazel
brownandf orasecond,I
ml osti
nthem.ButI
quickl
yrecovermysel
f,fl
ashhim mydazzl
ing
smi l
eandwal kout
.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Wow!Nev eri
nmyent i
reexi
stancehav eIseena
creat
uresomarvell
ous.Imean, Yonelamhle
nhe?ButuThandokazi?Uyanyisa!If
indmy sel
f
smili
ngatthedoor.Icantbel
ieveshe'l
lbemy
wifesoon.Iwonderwhatshewasdoi nginmy
room?Igot omycl osetandIf i
ndherbagsi n
there.Uh?Wasshesl eepinginhere?Why ?I
changei nt
oj eanshor ts,navyandwhi teteeand
navyloafers.Igot oupst air
sinsearchofmy
parents.Iknockont heirdoorandnosound.
Theymustbeati tagain.Honest l
y,t
hoset wo
j
ustcantgetenoughofeachot herit
snast y
real
ly.Butke, it
showIf eelaboutYonel amy
gir
lfri
end.We' vebeent ogetherfor5mont hs
andi t
sbeent hebest5mont hsofmyl i
fe.

Ohy eah,mxm eish.Im Melisi

zweMv el
aset he
l
astsonof4.I m 30y earsoldandIm abusiness
mogul .Idontknowhowt oint
roducemy self
wethusot hatsthebasics.Anyway,abouttwo
weeksback, dadtoldmeI m getti
ngmar ri
ed.I
wasshockedbecauseIwast heonlyonewhod
beinanar rangedmar r
iage.Allmybrothers
weremar r
iedoutoflove,sowhywasIbei ng
punished?ItoldYonelaandofcour seshewas
pi
ssed,
butIpromisedtot
akeherasasecond
wi
feaft
erbecausehonest
lyspeaki
ng,she
mademef eel
loveandsospecial
.Sheis23and
i
saPAt osomef ashi
ondesi
gner.
Whydi dIagr eetoallthi
smadness?Togai n
65%ofshar esinmydadsbi ggestcompanyin
Afri
ca.Idohav eot herbusi
nessesont hesi
de,
butnothingt hi
sbig.Ihavealotofvisionf
orthe
companyandbybei ngtheCEOIwi l
l make
thosevisionsar eal
ity
.

Backtothenow,Iknockagai
nandst i
llno
answerbutIcanhearasoft"
Sizwe,baby.
..
".Oh
euuuuuw!Fuck.Myparent
sareli
kerabbit
s;
al
way sontopofeachother
.It
sgross.No,
di
sgusti
ng.
Ipassandgot otheendofthehallandknock
onthedoor.IhearasoftcomeinandIgoi n.
Simishavi
ng" t
ea"wit
hhertoys.Shebeams
whensheseesme.
Her
:Hel
l
oBaby
!
Il
aughandpickherupandspinheraround.She
gi
gglessosweet
ly,Icanf
eel
myhear tmelt.
Me:
Hel
l
opr
incess.
Her
:Bhut
i,di
dyoumi
ssme?
Me:
Alot
.
Her
:Thenwhydonty
oucomehomeany
mor
e?
It
salmostacryandIcanf
eel
myhear
tcl
ench
atthesoundoft
hat.
Me:Workmyl
ove.ButI
llcomeseey
oumor
e
of
ten.
Shesmi
l
esandki
ssesmycheek.
Me:
Wanagogetsomej
uice?
Shenodsandgest
uresIshoul
dputherdown.I
doandsheget
shershoes
Her
:Bhut
idi
dyouseeThando?
Me:
Yeah
Her
:Mommysay
sthaty
out
woar
eget
ti
ng
marr
ied?
Me:
Yeahwear
e.
Shegi
ggl
essomuch
Her:I
m happyf
ory
ou.Shesni
ceandv
erypr
ett
y.
Il
ikeher
.
Ismil
e.Im speechl
ess.Ipickherupandcarry
herdownstair
s.Downt hepassage,dadcomes
outofthei
rroom zi
ppinguphi spantswit
hs
hugefucki
nggr i
nonhisf ace.Hesshocked
whenheseesme.
Hi
m:Ny
anawam wol
ahl
eko(
myl
ostson)
Il
aughandgreethim.IgoinforahugandI
i
nstant
lyr
egr
etit.Myfatherr
eaksofsex.
Me:Ihopey
ounotgoi
ngdownst
air
ssmel
l
ing
l
iket
his.
Hi
m:(
smel
l
inghi
msel
f)l
i
kewhat
?
Il
ookatSi
m andgest
uresexwi
thmyhand.He
bur
stsoutl
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:Thatbad?
Icovermynosewi
thmyhand.Heli
ght
ly
punchesmeonthear
m andIl
augh.
Me:
Hima!By
e,ma!
Her
:Heywena.
..
Iwal
kawaywit
hhershout
ingandgo
downst
air
s.

Naledi(50),i
smymot her
sname.Shehadus
boy swhenshewasqui teyoung.Shehadmy
brother,Langa(36)whenshewas14andt he
twins,Kamv aandKhany a(34)t
woy earslater
.
Sheandmyf ather,
Sizwe(56)havebeen
togethersinceday1t hatshowmucht heyl ove
eachot her.Iadmi r
et hewaytheycareandl ove
eachot herandcanonl yhopethatoneday ,Il
l
havet hesameki ndoflove.Myparentsadopt ed
Sim afyershewasl eftbyhermotheratthe
hospi
tal
inherwar
d.Simisspoi
l
trot
tenby
ever
yoneint
hefamil
ybutmostl
yme.

Mybrother
shavearri
vedwi t
honlytheirwi
ves.
Mybrother
shavethei
rownbusi nessesand
wantnothi
ngtodowithdads.Theyar einv
ested
i
ntothemusicandmar ket
ingbusinesswhileI
m
aconstr
ucti
onguru.
Langa:
Mnt
akama?
Me:
Mol
obhut
i.
Hegi
vesmeahugandki
ssont
hecheekand
sodothet
wins.
Kamv
a:Howar
eyou?
Me:
Im get
ti
ngt
her
esl
owl
ybutsur
ely
.
See,
acoupleofyear
sagoIwasdi agnosedwi
th
depr
essi
onandasar esul
titl
edt omebei ngt
he
ul
ti
matefuckboyandworkaholic.I
twasadark
pl
aceinmylif
ethatYonel
apulledmeoutof .
Khany
a:Akasemhl
eumakot
i.
Il
aughandl
ookaway
.

Atthedinnertabl
e,Im seatedacr
ossThando.
Yhowazewamuhkeummt u.Icantbel
ieveshes
18.Fuck.Im marry
ingat eenager
.Idontknow
howtof eelaboutthi
s.
Her
:(whi
sper
ing)t
akeapi
c.I
tlast
slonger
Me:
(whi
sper
ing)t
rustmeI
mtempt
edt
o.
Her
:What
sst
oppi
ngy
ou?
BeforeIcanreply
,mamaaskswhatwe
whisperi
ngabout.Thandoblushesandlooks
awaywhi l
eijuststar
eatmypl at
e.Seemslike
l
it
tl
emami hasamout honher.
[
10/
29,
17:
08]Wadz
:£05
~Thandokazi
~
WeeatandImintr
oducedt
oMel
i
sizweandhis
br
other
s.Theyar
eallni
cet
omeespeci
all
ythe
wives.Il
i
keSiphenat
hi,
BhutLanga'
swife.Shes
l
ikemymot her.Sof
twarm andbeaut
if
ul.Wein
t
heki t
chencl
eaningup
Her
:Ar
eyouexci
ted?
Me:Notreal
l
yno.Unl
i
keyou,
Im mar
ryi
nga
st
ranger
.Atl
easty
ougott
ochoosey
ourhubby
Her:
True.ButMeli
sizwei
ssuchagentl
esoul
andful
loflov
e,y
ou'l
l bet
akencar
eof.
Me:
Ihopeso.
Her
:Andbesi
des,
youcancall
meandv i
sitme
any
timey
ouwant.Wherear
ey ourpar
ents?
Me:
Mydaddi
edandmom i
sathome.
Her
:Oh.Nosi
bli
ngs?
DoIcountmyf
ather
ski
dswhowantnot
hingt
o
dowit
hmeornot?
Me:
uhm,
notr
eal
l
y.
Her
:Whatdoy
oumean?
Bef
oreIcanspeak,
BhutLangawal
ksi
nand
ki
ssesher.Ilookawayembar rassed.Real
ly?I
carr
yonwi pi
ngdishesandclearingup.
Meli
sizwewal ksi
nandsitsont hehighchair
neartheki
tchencounter
.Ifi
nishupandwhenI
l
ookup, t
heresaflash.I
thi
mt akingapi cofme.
Me:
Hai
bo!Andt
hen?
Hi
m:Yougav
emet
hegoaheadr
emember
?
Igi
ggl
eandwal
kaway
.

I
m seat
edi
nSimsroom pai
nti
nghernai
ls,
when
oneoft
het
winswalki
nandsitsnextt
ome.
Hi
m:Hey
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Si
m:BhutKamv
a,uphi
uRor
o(wher
esRor
o)
Hi
m:Shesathomebaby
.
Her
:Whydi
dnty
oubr
ingher
?
Hi
m:Shewassl
eepi
ng.
Her
:Nextt
imewi
l
lyoubr
ingher
?
Hi
m:Def
inat
elybaby
.
If
ini
shpai
nti
nghernai
l
sandhert
oenai
l
stoo.
Theyar
ebri
ghtpi
nk.
Kamvajustsitsbesi
demeandsay snothi
ng
andsodoI .Idontknowwhet
heritsawkwardor
whatbutIm beginni
ngtof
eeluncomfor
table.
Hef
inal
l
yspeaks
Hi
m:Whyar
eyoumar
ryi
ngmybr
other
?
Me:Becausei
tssomet
hingmyfatherandy
our
f
atheragr
eeduponbef
oreIcoul
dev enwal
k.
Hi
m:Sot
hisi
sar
ranged?
Me:
Yes
Hi
m:Andy
ouhav
enosay
?
Me:
Nope.
Hi
m:Doy
ouwantt
odoi
t?
Me:
Ihav
enochoi
ce.
Hi
m:Weal
lofchoi
cesi
nli
fe.
Me:YesIknow.AndI
m choosi
ngnott
odi
sobey
myparent
s.
Henods
Hi
m:Ihopey
out
wof
indl
ovewi
theachot
her
Isaynot
hing.WhatcanIsay
?
Hi
m:Goodby
e.Seey
ounex
tweekend
Me:
Bye.Enj
oyy
ourweek.
Heki
ssesandt
ickl
esSi
m andt
henwal
ksof
f.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Aft
ert
aki
ngapicofThando,Igoupst
air
stomy
fat
her
sst
udy.If
indhi
mt her
esitt
ingi
nhisdesk.
Me:
Canwet
alk?
Hi
m:Yeah,
what
swr
ong?
Me:
Icantdoi
t.
Hi
m:Nott
hisagai
n
Hehuf
fsandcl
osest
hefil
einfr
ontofhim.I
wal
kcl
oserandsi
tonthechai
rinf
rontofhi
m
Me:
Tat
ashesateenager
.Ummtwana?Doyou
r
eal
i
seubandi
mshiyange12y
ear
syonke?
Him:ar
gagei sj
ustanumberMel i
sizwe.
Besi
des,It
oldyouthi
syearsago.Youknow
whatsatst
akeheresopleasedontletmedown.
Me:
ButwhataboutYonel
atat
a?
Hi
m:Youcant
akeherasasecondwi
fe.
..
Ismi
l
e
Hi
m:Af
ter6mont
hs
Me:
What
?!Sol
ong?
Him:Takeitorl
eavei
t.NowgetoutIwantto
getworkdonebefor
ey ourmot
hercomesin.
Wit
hthatbei
ngsaid,Iwal
kout
.Myphoneri
ngs
andYonel
aspicf
lashesonmyscr
een.Ismi
le
andanswer
Me:
Babywam
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Hi
lov
e.Howsi
tgoi
ng?
Me:
Okay
.Iguess
Her
:What
swr
ong?ComehomeImi
ssy
ou.
Ismi
l
e
Me:
Icant
.Ipromisedmom thatI
dsleepher
e
t
oni
ght
.ButIpromiseI
m al
lyourstomorr
ow.
Shesi
ghs
Her
:Okayt
hen.I
sshet
her
e?
Me:
Noshe'
l
lcomet
omor
rowmi
dday
.
Imlyi
ngt
hroughmyt
eet
h.Why
?Ial
sodont
know.
Her
:Okayt
hen.Lov
eyou.
Me:
Lov
eyout
ooby
e.
Shedr
opst
hecal
l
.

Downst
air
s,mybr
other
sar
epr
epar
ingt
oleav
e.
Wewav et
hem offandtheyl
eave.Mom and
Thandoar
eprepari
ngli
ghtdi
nner.
Me:
Any
thi
ngIcanhel
pwi
th?
Mom:
Yeah.Di
cet
hepot
atoes.
Il
ookather .What?Dadshoutsformom
upstair
sandshel eavesmeandThandoalone.
Thandocomesar oundandhel
psmepeel t
he
potatoes.Idontknowwhattosaytoher
.
Luckil
yherphoner i
ngsandshepicksi
tup.She
doesntleave.
Her
:Heyl
ove.
..
Love?Boy
fri
end?Phambkwam(
inf
rontofme)
?
Heee!
Cal
l
er:
..
..
Her
:Yesgi
rl
.Hessi
tt
ingr
ightnextt
ome.
Cal
l
er:
..
..
Her
:Nonoty
et.AndIdontt
hinkso.
Cal
l
er:
..
.
Shelet
soutabeauti
fulsound.Herl
augh.Gosh
thi
sgir
lisj
ustbeaut
if
ul.
Her
:Lov
eyout
oo.By
e
Shehangsup.
Me:
Boy
fri
end?
Thewor
dsj
ustsl
i
poutofmymout
h.Fuck!
Her
:No.Myaunt
.
If
eel
sost
upi
dnow.Igetupandl
eav
e.

~Thandokazi
~
Wesi taroundthedinnertabl
eandeat .
Everyoneistal
kingcarefreeandImj ustqui
et.
Mymi ndisbackhomewi thmymot hernother
e.
Ihopeshesdoi ngokaybecauseIknowshes
not100%happyaboutal l
oft hi
sbutlikeme,
sheshonour i
ngmyf ather
swi shes.My
thoughtsaredistur
bedbyl i
tt
leSim
Her
:Thando.
..
Il
ookupandshesmi
l
es.Ismi
l
eback.
Me:
Yesangel
?
Her
:Whyar
eyourey
esgr
een?
Me:
Becausemymomsey
esar
eal
sogr
een.
Her
:Oh.Ar
eyousl
eepi
ngi
m Bhut
isr
oom agai
n
t
oni
ght?
Agai
n?Il
ookatMel
i
sizwe.Idontknowwhatt
o
say.
Me:
Idontknowl
ove.
Her
:Oh.
Me:
Why
?
Her
:CauseIwant
edt
ocomesl
eepwi
thy
ou.
Me:
Youcancome.
Melisi
zwefrownsandIwanttolaugh.I
fhes
expecti
ngtocrackopenthecooki
ejar,
thenhe
hasanotherthi
ngcoming.
Mel
i
sizwe:
Thenwher
ewi
l
lisl
eep?
Ishr
ugandexcusemy sel
ffr
om thet
able.Iget
upandgototheroom andcall
mymot her.Aft
er
thet
hir
dri
ng,shepicksup
Her
:Hi
baby
Me:
Himama,
unj
ani
?Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Her:I
veseenbet t
erday
s.Anyway,Im happyto
announcethatil
obol
asowuyibhat
alel
we(lobol
a
hasbeenpaid).40cowslov
e
Me:
Oh!Somuch?
Her
:ewekal
oku.Tshi
ni!
Il
augh
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Her:
Met
oomybaby
.Ar
etheyst
il
ltr
eat
ingy
ou
r
ight
?
Me:
Yeah
Her:
Good.Nextweekkewil
lbey
ourt
radi
ti
onal
wedding.I
llseey
out
hen.
Me:
Promi
se?
Her
:Pr
omi
se
Me:
Okayt
hen.Seey
out
hen.Lov
eyou.
Her
:Lov
eyout
oo.
Ihangupandijustl
ayont hebed,l
ookingatthe
cei
li
ng.Ev
ery
thi
ngi smovingtoofastformy
l
iki
ngandworstofall
,ihavenocontroloveri
t.

Meli
sizwewal
ksi
nasIst
epoutoft
he
bat
hroom
Hi
m:Mamai
slooki
ngf
ory
ou.
Me:
Ber
ightt
her
e.
Hi
m:Youokay
?
Ismi
l
eandnod.
Het
urnsandleav
es.Igobackt
othedi
nner
t
abl
eandsit
.
Nal
edi
:Ar
eyouokay
?
Me:
Ewema.
Ismi l
eandclearthepl
ates.Iwashthedishes
withSuziwhosay snothi
ngexceptforsteal
ing
glances.I
tsv
er yuncomfort
able.Shefi
nall
y
speaks
Her
:Whydi
dyouagr
eet
omar
rymybr
other
?
Me:
Idi
dnt
.Myf
atherdi
d.
Her
:Younotgoi
ngt
oev
enf
ighti
t?
Me:
No.
Sheshakesherheadandl eav esthedisheshal f
done.Whatisherpr obl em withme?If inishup
i
nt hekit
chenandgot other oom.Iopent he
doortofindMel i
sizweshi rtl
essandont he
phone.Fuck!Igawkf oraf ewsecondsbef oreI
enterandgot othecl oset.Itakeoutmyt oil
etr
y
bagandheadf ortheshower .Ishowerandget
dressedinmyni ghtieandgown.Iwearmy
sl
ippersandletmyhai rdown.Ineedt ocombi t
.
IgooutandMel i
sizwei swear inghispj
bottoms.Hehangst hem insuchawayt hatit
makesmycl itthrobwi thlust.Mmm damn!Isay
nothingandgot otheful
llengt
hmi rror.His
room iscoveredi nasoft,
blackcarpetandi
l
ov eit.Isi
tont hefl
oorandcombmyhai r
.It
s
toolong.MondayI l
lhavetogetitplait
edy hu!I
canf eelMeli
sizwesey esonmebutIwontsay
anything.
Hi
m:Youhav
eni
cehai
r
It
urnandsmi
l
eathi
m
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Hi
m:Soi
sSi
m st
il
lsl
eepi
ngwi
thus?
Me:
Ifshest
il
lwant
sto.
Oncuethedooropensandl
i
ttl
eSi
m andNal
edi
wal
kin.
Nal
edi
:Yhui
nwel
eezi
ngaka(
somuchhai
r)
!
Ibl
ushandSi
m comesandsi
tsonmyl
ap.
Nal
edi
:Icamet
osaygoodni
ght
.Si
miza
masambe.
Si
m pout
s
Her
:Mommysay
sIcansl
eephert
omor
row
Ismi
l
eandki
ssheront
hecheek
Me:Okay
.Goodni
ghtMa,
nil
alekamnand(
sleep
wel
l
).

Aft
erNaledi
andSimleav
e,Melisi
zweandIget
i
ntobed.Wesitupandhelooksatme
Hi
m:Sot
ell
meabouty
our
sel
f
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwantt
oknow?
Hi
m:Yoursubj
ect
satschool
Il
augh
Me:Okay.Uhm,Physi
cs,
Business,Accounti
ng,
Bi
ology
,Maths,
Isi
Xhosa,Engl
ish,L.
Oandt hen
Af
ri
kaansontheside.
Hi
m:9subj
ect
s? i
sthatal
l
owed?
Me:
IdontknowbutIdi
d.
Hi
m:Why
?
Me:
uhm,
Idontknow.
Hi
m:Andy
oucoped?
Me:
Yeah.
Hi
m:Soy
oursmar
t?
Me:
Kindof
.
Hi
m:Andy
ourboy
fri
end?
Me:
Donthav
eone
Heli
ft
shi
slef
tbr
owasi
ftosayhedoesnt
bel
i
eveme.
Me:
You?
Hi
m:No.Nev
erhadaboy
fri
end.
HesmilesandIl
augh.Ipushhi
m ont
he
shoul
der
Me:
Noman!Imeantdoy
ouhav
eagi
rl
fr
iend?
Hi
m:Yeah.
Me:
Oh.
Ikeepqui
etf
orabi
t.
Me:
Thenwhydi
dyouagr
eet
othi
s?
Hi
m:Ihadnochoi
ce.
Inodandsaynot
hing.
Hi
m:Soy
ouv
enev
erhadaboy
fri
end?
Me:
Idi
d.Butt
hatwast
woy
ear
sago.
Henodsandgoesqui
et.
Hi
m:Soy
ouv
ehadsexbef
ore?
I
m st
unned.Di
dhej
ustaskmet
hat
?
[
10/
29,
17:
08]Wadz
:£06
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Di
dIjustaskt
hat
?Yhoshesgoi
ngt
othi
nkI
wantsome.
Me:
Uhm.
..y
oudonthav
etoanswert
hat
.Sor
ry
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:No.I
venev
erhadsex
.Wel
l
,penet
rat
ion.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her
:Iv
ehador
alonl
y.
Shesaysthatwit
hastrai
ghtface.Nogiggles.I
chuckl
ecauseIcantbeli
evei
t.Shelookstoo
i
nnocent.Butke,
astheysay,
itsalwaysthe
i
nnocentonesthaty
oudontsuspect.
Her
:Im notgoi
ngt
oasky
oucausei
sobv
ious.
Me:
Meani
ng?
Her
:Yourwhol
eper
sonaoozessexso.
..
I
m shocked.Idontknowwhatt
osay
.
Her
:Im sor
ryi
fIv
eof
fendedy
ou.
Me:
Notatal
l
.Buty
ouv
esupr
isedmet
hough.
Her
:Howso?
Me:
Yourhonest
y.I
tssor
efr
eshi
ng
Her:Thatsmef oryou.Idpref
ert obehonest
andletyoudecidethancomf ortyouwithl
ies
onl
yt ohurtyouintheend.Becauseev ent
ual
ly,
al
lthatishidden,
shallberevealed.Al
ways!
Shesmi
l
esatmeandI
m awedbyt
hiswoman.
Shesnogi
rl
.Shesawoman.
Her
:Wel
lIshoul
dgetsomesl
eep.Goodni
ght
.
Me:
Goodni
ght
.
Sheget
sinbedandsl
eeps.

Inthemor ni
ng,Iwakeuphopi ngtofi
ndher
nextt omebutinsteadIwakeupt ofi
ndher
standinginf
rontofthemi rror,i
nherunderwear.
Al acynumberatthat !Yeeeeeeeeeeeer!
!Ican
feel mybestf
ri
endst anding,readytoexpl
ode
i
nsi desomeone.Iclearmyt hroatandshe
j
umps
Her
:Hi
.Sor
ry,
Il
lgetdr
essednownow.
Me:
Itsokay
.
Shetur
nsandIhav eaful
ldi
splayofherbehind
anddamni t
ssof uckabl
eandj ui
cy.I
tsfi
rm and
upr
ight
.Fuckmypeni sisbegi
nningtothrobin
mypants.Igetupandwal karoundtothe
bat
hroom.Shet urnsandseesme.Shescr eams.
Her
:OhmyGoodness.
Andcl
osesherey
es.Il
aughoutl
oud.
Me:
Sor
ry.
Shest i
l
lclosesherey esandgoest othemi r
ror
.
Iclosethedooroft hebathroom anddecideto
takeacoldshowert oleti
tfal
l.Iwontjer
koff
never!Well.
..notwhileshesstil
lher
e.AfterI
m
doneshower i
ng,Igooutwi t
hat owelwrapped
aroundmywai standluckil
yshesnotthere.I
takemyphoneandcal lmylove
Her
:Hi
baby
Me:
Mor
ningmyl
ove.Sl
eepwel
l
?
Her
:Yesbabeandy
ou?
Me:
No.
Her
:What
swr
ong?
Me:
Im mi
ssi
ngy
ouandy
ourbody
.
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Met
oo.Youcomi
ngt
oni
ght
?
Me:
Ofcour
se.Ihav
etobewi
thmynumber1.
Justt
hen,Thandowalksin,
inadresst
hat
showsoffhercurvesandofcour
seherhai
ris
cover
ed.Shelooksyummy .
Her
:Uhm,
breakf
asti
sready
.
Me:
Bet
her
enow.
Shet
urnst
oleav
eandIcont
inueont
hephone
Me:
Got
tago.Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.Cantwai
tfort
oni
ght
.
Il
aughandhangup.

~Thando~
YhoMel isi
zweisonef i
nespecimenofaman.I
walkedinonhi m onthephoneandhewas
shir
tl
essst i
ll
.Thosemusclesandabshav eme
weaki ntheknees.Butunfor
tunat
ely
,hestaken
andhemadet hatverycl
earwhenhet ol
dhis
gir
lf
riendhelovesheroverthephone.Di
dithurt
me?No.Am Iangr y?Notatal l
.ButIam feel
ing
somet ypeofwayandIcantexpl ai
ni t
.After
thatphonecal l
,mymoodi mmediately
dampened.Ishoul dntbef eel
i
ngthiswaybutI
do.Iwal kbackt othediningroom andsitnext
toSazi opposit
eSi m.Idontwantt obenear
Mel i
sizweatall.Hecomesi ndressedinall
blackandsi t
snextt oSim andSuzi .DrMv el
ase
saysgr aceandwedi gin.Iminnomoodt ochat
soIeatandonl yt alktoSim
Her
:Yougoi
ngt
ocomepl
aywi
thmenhe?
Me:Ofcour
seangel
.Any
thi
ngf
ory
ou.Butaf
ter
Ihel
pwit
hlunch.
Mel
isi
zwekeepsst
eali
nglookskywaybutI
min
nomoodtoevenspeaktohim.
Nal
edi
:Thando,
lov
e?
Me:
Ma?
Her
:Youcanr
estt
oday
.Il
lcookl
unch.
Ismi
l
eatherandsayt
hanky
ou.Si
m cl
apsher
hands.

Aft
erbr
eakfastwegoupstai
rstoSim'sr
oom.
I
tsver
ypinkandveryf
luf
fyIlov
eit.Sazi
isher
e
too
Sazi
:Cany
oudr
ive?
Il
ookatherandnod.
Her
:Hav
eal
i
cense
Me:
Yeahwhy
?
Her:CauseIwantt
ogotothemal
lbutt
hey
dontwanttotakeme.Wi
l
lyou?
Me:Idonthav
eacarnjeandbesi
des,I
pr
omisedSimill
playwi
thhert
oday.
Sazipoutsandsul ks.Thedooropensand
Melisi
zwecomesi n.Iminstant
lyannoyedbyhi
s
presence.Whatthef uckishappeningnam?I
dontli
ket hi
sfeel
ingatall.
Hi
m:Thando,
canIt
alkt
oyoupl
ease?
Inod.
Hi
m:Out
side.
Iexcusemy sel
fandpromiseSi
mIl
lbeback.
Sazialsocomesoutandgoestoherpar
ents
room,practi
cal
lyi
ntears.
Me:
Yes?
Si
zwe:
Im goi
ngbackt
oday
.
Me:
Back?
Him:YeahIstayi
nSummer st
randnear
Stel
l
enbosch.SoIm goi
ngbacktodaybutI
ll
comebackonFr i
day.
Me:
Okay
Hi
m:Woul
dyoul
i
keany
thi
ng?
Me:
Like?
Hi
m:Idontknow?Jewel
l
ery
?Chocol
ates?
Me:
NoI
m good.Thanx
.
Hi
m:Al
ri
ghtt
hen,
bye.
Me:
Bye.
Weshar eahug, hesobviouslytall
erthanme,
butthewayhehol dsmei senought omakeme
weakatt heknees.Hesmel lsdivineandhis
bodyiswar m.Ibreakthehugandhepecksmy
cheek.Iwalkhim outsi
detohi scarandwav e
hi
m off.Igobacki nandev eryoneislooki
ngat
me.Iwal kpastandgoupst airstoSimsr oom
wherewecont inueplayi
ngdol l.

¤Aweekl
ater
¤
It
sFr i
day .Thedaybef orethet radi
ti
onal
weddi ngandmyst omachi sinknots.Im
nervousaboutt omor rowandi tdoesnthelpthat
Mel i
sizwehasntar ri
vedy et.Andnotoncedi d
hecall t
hisweek, idontev enknowwhyi was
expect i
nghimt o.Hehassomeonet hathe
l
ov esandt hati
snotme.Ther esaknockonmy
doorandi t
smyauntandmom.Ipr acti
call
y
j
umpi ntheirar
msI m soex ci
ted.Makazi is
hol
dingasuitbagandabox.Mamaisholdi
ng
twoboxesandshessoskinny
.Icanseeher
vei
ns,i
tsscary.
Me:
Hi.
Mama:Awusemhl
e.Ev
ent
hough,
youv
elost
wei
ght
.
Ir
oll
myey
es
Me:Idi
dnotlosewei
ghtqhawenaj
ustadmi
t
youmissedme.
Her
:Al
ot.
Shehugsandki
ssesmeandsodoesMakaz
i.
Makazi
:Hav
eyoudoney
ourhai
ryet
?
Shesayswhileremov i
ngmydoek.Ishakemy
headno.Sher ol
lshereyesandcall
ssomeone.
MamaandIcat chupnjewet huandlaughhere
andthere.Aladywalksintheroom anddoes
myhair.Sheputsinabr azi
li
anweav ethatf
all
s
tomybackandcur l
sit
.Itssobeauti
fulonmy
headbutitdoesntmatterbecauseIm goingto
hav etowr apupsoon.Ther eisululat
ingout side
myr oom andi wrapmyheadandgoout .There
i
ssi ngingandI ml eadal lt
hewayoutt othe
l
oungewher eImf ocredtositon
umkhukhu( smal lgrassmat )withMel i
sizwe.I
wonderwhenhegother e.Hesmel lsof
womansper fumeandi t
snotmi neoranyofhi s
sit
er s.Mustbet hegi rl
fr
iends.Theelderst alkto
usandt henImf orcedt oeatutsiki
,Idoand
thent heladiesswoopmeupandt akemet othe
room.Wher et heysi nganddanceandwe
celebratethisday .

Thenextmor ni
ngIwakeupear lyandshower .
WhenIgobackt otheroom, mamaandMaki
arealsothere.Dressedtokillbaba.Makidoes
mymakeupandhai rwhil
eumamaget sme
dressedintoabeaut if
ulorangetradi
ti
onaldress.
Ithugsmybodyi nalltheri
ghtway sandits
strapl
ess.Isitandshedoesmydoek.Il ook
breatht
aking.Iputonear r
ingsandat radi
ti
onal
necklace.Mamahandsmebl ackst i
lett
osanda
blackwat ch.Im sopr etty.Shegiv esmean
orangeclot hthatIneedt owr apar oundmy
shoulders.Ther eissingingandul ulati
ng
outsi
demydoorandmamai nstructsmet o
l
ookdownasIwal kout .WhenIwal kout,
moneyi st hrownonmeandt heysi ngev en
l
ouder .Wegeti nt
othecaranddr i
vet oa
townshipwher ethereisahuget ent .Igetoutof
thecarwi ththisotherladysweepi ngi nfrontof
me.I m smi li
ngsomuch, Icantbel ieveIm
getti
ngmar ri
ed.Itwouldv ebeenmor ejoyousif
i
twaswi ththemanIl ov ed.Sigh.
[
10/
29,
17:
09]Wadz
:£07
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Bythesoundoft heulul
at i
ngandsi
nging
outside,Icantel
l t
hatThandoishere.Im
dressedi nbabybluechinosandashi r
tthati
s
babybl ueandor angebutinatradi
ti
onalpri
nt.I
feelhellagood.Thismor ni
ngdadyell
edatme
forsmelli
ngl ikeYonel ayesterday .AndI m sure
i
fdadsmel led,thenThandosmel l
edmet oo.To
behonest ,ifeel badandIwantt oapol ogiseto
her.Iwonderi fshe' llacceptmyapol ogy.She
comesi nandIst opbr eathi
ngf orasecond.She
l
ooksmagni f
icentandi nthatmomentIf eel
l
uckyt obemar ry i
ngher .Butt henIr ecov er
my sel
f,whenIseeYonel aseat edi ntheback
seatlookingal lsortsofsexy .Sheswear inga
shortdressandheel s.Im droolingf orher .I
dragmyey esawayf rom herandl ookat
Thando.Shecomest ostandbef oreme.The
pastorblessesourmar r
iageandIsl ipmyr i
ng
onher .I
tsabeaut i
fuldiamondr ingandshe
sli
psonapl ainbl ackbandonme.Ther ei s
muchsi nginganddanci ng.WeeatbutThando
eatsverylit
tle.
Me:
Arey
ouokay
?
Shelooksatmewit
hsuchhat
eandnods.Idont
knowwhatIcansaytomakeherbet
ter
.
Her
:Ist
hather
?
Shegest
uresnearYonel
a.
Me:
Yeah
Shenodsandsay
snothi
ng.I
nsteadsheasks
mysist
ertot
akeheri
nthehouse.I
m def
eated.

Thefesti
vi
ti
esconti
nueintothenightandIhave
notseenThandosince.Shedisappear
edinthe
houseanddidntcomeoutagai n.If
eelgui
l
ty
andbad.Iguessinvi
ti
ngYonelawasabadi dea.
Yonelacomestothetableandsitsbesi
deme
Her
:Hey
.What
swr
ong?
Me:
Not
hingwhy
?
Her
:Youdontl
ooktoohappyf
orsomeone
whosj
ustgotmar
ri
ed.
Ij
ustgl
areatherandsaynot
hing
Her
:Wher
e'sy
ourbr
ide?
Ishr
ug
Her:
Well
,i
fyoudontfeelbet
terl
ater
,youcan
cometomyroom andIll
makey oufeelbet
ter
.
Ismi
leatherandnod.Shebr
ushesmyhand
andget
supandl eav
es.
Around9Igobackhomeandf i
ndheri
nbed
soundasleep.IguessI
vehur
thermorethanI
thought
.Ili
ghtl
yshakeher
Her
:Hmm?
Me:
Canwet
alk?
Sheopensherey
esandsi
tsup
Her
:Yes?
Me:
Youdontl
ookokay
.
Her
:Im not
.
Me:
What
swr
ong?
Her:Igetyoudontloveme, IdoandI
understand.Butt
oinvi
teyourgirl
toour
weddingandl ookathert
heent i
reti
meIcame
downt heisle,
wasjustdi
srespectf
ulandcol
d.
At
earescapesherey
e.
Her:
Youknow,justl
etmesl
eepbef
oreIsay
somethi
ngIwontregr
et.
Withthatbeingsai
dshet urnsoverandsleeps.
No,shecries.ImfrozenIdontknowwhatt osay.
ButIwontapol ogi
seforlovi
ngYonela.Thats
onethingIrefusetodo.Iturnandleave.

~Thando~
Ifeelthedoorclosebehi
ndmeandIknowhes
gonet oher.Si
gh.Igetupandgowashmyf ace
i
nt hesink.Thi
si sgoi
ngtobeonel ong
mar r
iageandami ser
abl
eoneatt hat.Thedoor
opensandcl osesagainandIgoout .Ifi
ndhim
standingnearthebedholdingt
wocups.Whyi s
heher e?Ij
ustfreezeandlookathim.Idont
knowwhatt osay.
Hi
m:I
m sor
ryf
ordi
srespect
ingy
ou.
Inodandgoi
n
Hi
m:Ar
enty
ougoi
ngt
osayany
thi
ng?
Me:
Like?
Hi
m:Idontknow.Justdontbemadatme
Me:
Im not
Hi
m:AndI
m sor
ryf
ormaki
ngy
oucr
y.
Me:
Itsokay
.
Hesit
sdownandpassesmeacup.Il
ooki
nsi
de
andseei
tshotchocol
ate.
Me:
ohy
um.Chocol
ate.
Hi
m:Makesanyhear
tmel
t.
Igi
ggl
eandsi
ponmycup.
Me:
Didy
oubuyt
her
ings?
Henods
Me:
Wasy
ourgi
rl
fr
iendwi
thy
ou?
Hi
m:No.Justmeanddad.
Me:
Oh.
Hescootsclosertomeandput shi
sarm
aroundmeandsi ghs.Wei
rdl
y,Idontf
eel
uncomfor
table.
Hi
m:Sowe'
remar
ri
ed?
Me:
Husbandandwi
fe.
Webot
hlaughandt
hensi
tinsi
l
ence.
Me:Shesver
ybeaut
if
ult
hough.Youl
ookcut
e
t
ogether
Hi
m:Whendi
dyouseeust
oget
her
?
Me:
Whenshecamet
oourt
abl
etot
alkt
oyou.
Witht
hatbei
ngsaidIst
andupandgetint
obed.
Icanhearhi
m si
ghandIjustcl
osemyeyes.

WhenIopenmyey es,
ifi
ndhim wrapped
aroundmel i
kesi
lk.NowonderIwasgetti
nghot.
Ilookathi
m andhessobeautif
ul.Hedbemor e
amazingifhehadabeardthough.Il
ookathis
l
ipsandhislongl
ashes.Damn!Heshotev en
whenhesl eep.IlookdownandIseehesnot
wearingashi r
t,onlypjpants.Why ?Andwhyi s
hewr appedaroundme?Idonthav eti
met o
dwellmor eonthet houghtasIhav eapressing
needt opee.Ikisshim ont hecheekandhis
faceissosof t
.Iwonderhowi twouldfeelon
myt ongue.Woah!Wher edidthatthoughtcome
from?Asmi lecur v
esonhi slipsandIm
i
nstantlyshy.Imov efrom him butheholdsme
ti
ghter.Hemov esandget sont opofme.He
openshi seyesandsmi l
esatme
Hi
m:Mor
ning
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Hemov eshisli
psclosertomeandki ssesme.
Hisli
psaredeli
ciousl
ysoftandwar m andso
fi
l
ledwithpassi
on.Hiskissesarefil
l
edwi th
prai
seandanapol ogy.Af
terawhile,hepull
s
awayandIcanf eelhi
s,uhm,eish,
peni spoking
me.
Me:
AsmuchasIl
i
key
oust
ari
ngi
nmyey
es,
I
r
eal
l
yneedt
hebat
hroom.
Hechucklesandr
oll
sov
er.Igetupandr
unt
o
t
hebathroom.

Whil
stImi nther
eIshowerandMeli
sizwewalks
i
n.Fuck!ThankGodhisshowerdoorsaret
int
ed
butsti
l
l hecanseetheshapeofmybodyfrom
theoutside.
Me:
Mel
i
sizwe
Hi
m:Yes?
Icanhearhi
m peei
ng
Me:
Pleasepassmeat
owel
.
Hi
m:Noj
ustcomeout
.
Me:No.Im mi
ghtsl
ipandfal
landbesi
des,
I
dontwantt
ogetthefl
oorwet.
Hefini
shespeeingandfl
ushes.Heget
samat
andputsitnearthedoor
.Andthenst
andst
her
e.
Iopenthedoorandonlypokemyheadout.
Me:
Towel
please?
Heshakeshi
sheadno.Hel
ooksamused
Him:Soonerorl
aterI
'
llhav
etoseey
ournaked
bodywif
eysoIsuggestsooner
Me:No!Youv
eseenmei
nmyundi
esandt
hat
s
abouti
t.
Hi
m: Haikesui
tyour
sel
fcauseI
m notgoi
ngout
.
I
nfact.
..
Heat
temptt
opul
lhi
spy
jamapant
sdownbutI
st
ophim
Me:
No!Pl
easei
tst
ooear
lyt
obet
raumat
ised.
Heletsoutahugel augh.I
nfact
,hecracksup.I
usetheoppor t
unit
ytoquickl
ygetoutandr unt
o
thet
owel rack.Buti
tstoolat
ecausehegr abs
myar m andpullsmetohim.
Hi
m:Youhav
eabangi
ngbody
.
Ibl
ushawayandcovermymomowi
thmyhand
andtheot
hermybreast
s.
Me:St
opst
ari
ngatal
lthi
syoungmeati
nfr
ont
ofy
ou.
Hechucklesandi grabatowelandwrapmy sel
f
i
nit.Igooutandhegoesi ntotheshower.I
l
otionandgetdressedinmymakot iatt
ir
eand
whenIlookatthet i
meitspast5.Thank
Goodness.Icombmyhai randhecomesout
wrappedinatowel.
Hecomesovertomeandhekissesme.Our
ki
ssisfi
l
ledwi
thlov
ebutIpul
laway.Hehasa
gi
rl
fr
iend
Hi
m:Yourl
i
psar
esosof
tandj
uicy
.
Me:
Iknow.
Hesmi lesandpecksme, leav
ingmewant ing
more.ButkeIhav etorememberhesnotmi ne.I
t
urnandf acet hemir
rorandwr apnyhead.I
maket hebedandt henheadf ort
hedoorbut
Meli
sizwest opsme.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofy
ouokay
?Justgi
veme
t
imet
oadj
ustt
oal
loft
his.
Inodandwal kpasthim andintotheki
tchen.I
maket eafortheparentsandthenstar
tof
breakf
ast.WhenI m done,Meli
sizwegoesand
call
sev er
yone.TheycomedownandSi mj umps
i
nmyar ms.
Me:
Mor
ningsunshi
ne
Her
:Morni
ngSi
si.Guesswher
eIm sl
eepi
ng
t
oni
ght
?
Igi
ggleandhugher.Shesjusttooadorabl
efor
words.Wehav ebr
eakfastwit
hlightconvo
fl
owingaroundus.
Nal
edi
:Thando,
all
yourgi
ft
sar
eint
hegar
age.
Me:
Okayma.Thanky
ou.
Her
:Doy
ouwantmet
ohel
pyouunwr
apt
hem?
Me:
Andsendt
hanky
ouspl
ease.
Shesmi
l
esatme
Her
:That
smygi
rl
.Idl
ovet
o.
Ismileandcleart
hetabl
e.SaziandSuzisay
theyl
lwashthedishesandIstar
tcleani
ng
aroundthehouse.WhenIm upstai
rs,Mel
isi
zwe
comesbehindmeandhol dsme.
Me:
Andt
hen?
Hi
m:Yourbodyi
saddi
cti
ve.
Il
augh,
Icanf
eel
hiser
ect
ionpr
essedonmy
bum.
Me:
Buty
ouhav
entbeeni
nsi
demet
oknow.
Hechuckl
es
Hi
m:Yet
!AndIwi
l
lbe.Soon.
Withthebei
ngsai
d,heki
ssest
hebackofmy
earandleav
es.
[
10/
29,
17:
09]Wadz
:£08
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Afterpr
essingmyselfonThando,I
mr eal
lyin
themoodf orsome.Butit
stoosoon.Igetinthe
carandgot oYonel
ashotelr
oom.Icallherand
shel etsthef rontdeskknowshesexpect i
ngme.
AssoonasIr eachherbedr oom, Ipounceon
her.Myl i
pssmashonherandi closet hedoor
withmyf oot.Iliftherupandwr apherl egs
aroundme.Iki ssherandputheront hecouch.
AssoonasIsetherdown, igoonmykneesand
Ispr eadherl egswi de.Il
etmyt onguepl aywith
hercl i
t.It
samazi ngandshesal r eadywetf rom
theshower .Ipul lmypant sdownandi nsert
my selfinher .Shesont heinjectionsoi tsso
theresnoneedf oracondom.ThemomentI m
i
nIf eelsogood.Ist ar
tmov ingf astandhar d
i
nsi dehert or eleaseal lt
histensionf rom last
nightandt hismor ni
ng.Shesmoani ngmyname,
beggi ngmet osl owdownbutIwont .Icant.Not
whenI ml i
ket his.ShecumsandIf ollowsoon
after.Icoll
apseont opofher .
Her
:Angr
ymuch?
Me:
Nosor
rybaby
.Justr
eal
l
yfr
ust
rat
ed.
Her
:Youdi
dntsl
eepwi
thher
?
Me:
No.
Icanf
eelhersmi
l
e.Myphoner
ings,
itsmy
fat
her
.Ipi
ckup
Him:Atleastshowyourwi
fesomerespectand
bewithher .Orel
se,
youwontmar
rythatfl
oozy
ofyours.
Hehangsup.Fuck!
Me:babe,
Ihavet
ogo.AndIm probabl
ynot
goi
ngtoseeyoufort
her
estofthisweek.
Shepout
s
Her
:Pr
omi
set
ocal
l
?
Me:
Promi
se.
Her
:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyoumost
.
Shegi
gglesandkissesmef orquit
esomet i
me.
Shepul
lsawayandIf ixmysel
fwhi l
eshegets
mesomewat er.Idownthewat erandshefi
xes
meup.Ikissheragainbef
oreIleave.
Athome, If
indmyf amil
ylaughi
ngint hekitchen
butThandoisnotthere.WhenIgoi nther oom,I
fi
ndThandoi ntheroom l
ayingonthebed
readi
ngabook.Shesnol ongerwearingt he
clot
hesforuMakoti(newbri
de)butaf lowy
dresswit
hthickstr
apsandsocks.Shel ooksso
peaceful
andhappy .
Me:
Hey
.
Shel
ooksupbr
ief
lyandt
henatt
hebookagai
n
Her
:Hi
.Yourfoodi
sint
hemi
crowav
e.Shoul
dI
war
mitupforyou?
Me:
Yeah.
Her
:Wi
l
lyoubeeat
ingher
eort
het
abl
e?
Me:
Tabl
e
Shegetsup,marksherbookandclosesi
t.She
bri
ngsthedressdowntobelowherkneeand
wearsboots.Shel
ooksamazing.Shewalksout
wit
hnotsomuchsoasagl ancemyway .As
soonassheleaves,
myf at
hercomeschar
ging
i
n.Helookspissedoff
Hi
m:YOUWILLRESPECTMYHOUSEAND
THATGI
RL!
!YOUHEARMEBOY?
Iswal
l
owhar
dbef
oreInod.
Him: Whati sitMelisizwe?Whyar ey ouso
sel
fish?Unl ikeyou,thischildwast hrowninthe
l
oophol e.Hadt hedr eam ofpl anningaweddi ng
snatchedawayf rom her .Somet hi
ngy ou'
ll
never
understandbuti nsteadoft r
yingto, yougoand
bri
ngYonel atoHERweddi ng.Andt henhave
hercomeov ertoyourt ableDURI NGt he
ceremoni es.Now, youcomebacksmel l
ingof
i
kuku( v
agi na)!Yeeerkwedi n(boy)!!
Myfathertur
nstoleaveandslamsthedoor
behi
ndhim.Hei sreal
l
ytickedoff
.It
urnand
headfortheshower.

~Thando~
Mel isizwehassomener vey azi
!Fl
ir
tingwithme
andt hengoi ngtof ucksomeoneel se!Rhaaaa!
Im somad.Butt henagai n,Ihavenor easonto
bemad.I mj usttheot herwomanandt hats
whatI ll
alway sbet oMel i
si
zwe.Her eallyand
truellylovesYonel a, hecanthelpitandt hen
her ehei s,beingf orcedt omar r
yme.Isi ghand
swi tchont hemi crowav e.Whyismyl i
feli
ke
this?Icanf eeltearst hr
eateningtoexposeme
butIr ef
uset olett hem fall
.Idosomebr eathi
ng
exer cisesandt heygobacksome.
Nal
edi
:Youokay
?
Mamastar
tlesmeandInodmyhead, feari
ng
myvoi
cemi ghtfai
lme.Icl
earmyt
hroat,si
pmy
wat
erandreply.
Me:
Ewemama,
Imf
ine.
Shelooksmedeepinmyey es,sear
chingfor
somel i
eint
hem butIguessshedoesntfi
ndit
becauseshesmi
les
Her
:Im her
efory
ou,
alway
s.Your
eoneofmy
daught
ersnow.
Inodandmov ei
nforahug.Herhugsar
eever
sowarm andmother
ly,
Iwishicoul
dbaski
n
them f
orev
er.
Her
:Sohowar
eyouandMel
i
sizwe?
Ipl
ast
eraf
akesmi
l
eonmyl
i
ps
Me:
Okay
.Wet
ryi
ngatl
east
.
Her:At
least
.Hopef
ull
yhe'
ll
for
getaboutt
hat
gi
rlnowthathehasyou.
Shekissesmycheekandwal ksaway .Oh?
Whatwast hatnow?DoesMot herdearestnot
l
ikethegirl
friend?Iwonder.ItakeMelisi
zwes
foodtothet ableandcoveritwiththeplast
ic
dishcover.Iturnedtogocallhim buthecame
out,l
ookingal lsor
tsofyummyi nhi
sjeansand
tshi
rt
.
Me:Iwasjustabouttogocal
lyou.Her
eyougo.
Tea,
coff
ee,jui
ce,beer?
Hesmi
l
es
Hi
m:Beerpl
ease.
Igofet
chhiscanandputi
tont
het
ableandI
m
aboutt
oleavewhenhetel
l
smetosi
tdown.
Him:Howdidy
ouknowshewasatourt
abl
e
yest
erday
?
I
sher
eal
l
yaski
ngmet
hisbul
l
shi
t?
Me:Iwasabouttocomesit,
thenIsawyouand
howshebrushedyourhandsoIlef
t.Togi
ve
youtwopr
ivacy.
Hegoesqui
et.Notsot
oughany
mor
e
Me:
Whydi
dyoui
nvi
teher
?
Him:Sheaskedt
ocome.Shewant
edt
osee
you.
Ibetshedi
d.
Me:
Why
?
Hi
m:Idontknow.Idi
dntask.
Mxm!Iremai
nmuteandlookthrought
he
sl
i
dingdoort
othebeaut
if
ulgardenout
sideand
thegl i
steni
ngpool .Itssobeaut ifulherebutthe
housei stoohugeman.10bedr oomseachwi th
anensui teandcl oset.2lounges, oneupst ai
rs
andonedownst ai r
s,acinema, amassi ve
kitchenwi t
hawal kinpantry,diningroom, study,
ent er
tai
nmentr oom andl i
brary.Itsallabitt
oo
much.Theout sideisapool ,j
acuzzi ,
gardenand
tenniscourt.Notf orgett
ingthel argegarage
wi t
h5door soneachsi de.Butt hat sdetached
from thehouse.
Hi
m:Thando?
??
Me:Noify
ouwereher
ethi
smor
ning,
youd
knowi
tsKany
isanow.
Hi
m:Oh.
Me:CanIgopl
ease?I
dli
ket
ocont
inuewi
thmy
book.
Hi
m: No.Cancelanyplansyouhavet oni
ght
,
we'
regoingtodinner.AndIl
ltel
lSi
m shecant
sl
eepwithyoutonightcauseIm sl
eepingov
er.
Inod
Him:Im sor
ryIwasnther
ethi
smor
ning.ButI
m
herenow.
Me:Thewayy oukeepdi
sappear
ing,
Iwonderi
f
you'
l
leverbearoundwhenIneedyoumost.
Withthatbei
ngsai
d,Igetupandwal koff
.Imay
beyoungerthanMeli
sizweby12y ear
s,butt
hat
doesntmeanheshouldt reatmebadlyand
di
srespectmeinhi
sfat hershouse.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
We'vebeent ogetheradayandahal fand
al
readyIm screwingup.Ineedtof i
xthisorI
cankissmar ryi
ngYonelagoodbye.Icontinuet
o
eati
nsi l
ence.Il
ltakehertoanicerestuar
ant,i
t
al
way swor kswithYonelawhenwehav ea
misunderstandi
ng.Butthenagainshesnot
Yonela.If
inishupandclearmypl ateandplace
i
tinthesink.Sazikaziwalksi
nandIaskhert o
washmyplate,wel
lthat
saft
erIbr
ibeherwith
R100.Mxathi
skidandcash?Samewhat sapp
group.
Sazi
:Uphi
uSi
sKany
i?
Ial
mostwanttoaskwhot
hati
sthenI
rememberi
tsThando.
Me:
Room.Why
?
Her
:Pl
easet
ell
herI
mreadywecango.
Me:
Wher
eto?
Her
:Mal
l
.
Me:
CanIt
agal
ong?
Her
:No.
Shesayst
hatwi
thsomuchaut
hor
it
ythati
t
shocksme.
Me:
Whynot
?
Her
:Causei
tsagi
rl
str
ip.Teensonl
y.
Mxm.Igot
other
oom andt
ell
Thandowhat
Sazi
sai
d.
Her
:Okayt
hanx.
Shegetsupandgoest othecloset
.Il
ooki
nmy
wall
etandseethatIdonthavemuchcash.I
ll
gi
vehermyblackcard.Shecomesoutwearing
fl
atsandanotsotughtdress.
Me:
Her
e.
Igi
vehermycar
d.
Her
:WhatmustIdowi
thi
t?
Me:
Buyy
our
sel
fsomet
hingni
ce.
Sheshakesherheadno.
Her
:Not
hanks.
Bef
oreIcanar
gue,
herphoner
ingsandshe
pi
cksitup.
Notlongaf tershesanswered,shel
etsouta
soultear
ingscr eam.Shecriessohardthatshe
fal
lsonthef l
oor.Igoov
ertoherbythe
dressi
ngt ableandcomf or
ther.Mymot herand
f
athercomer
ushi
ngi
n.
Them:
Whathappened?
Me:
Idontknow.Shewasont
hephone
Sheconti
nuestocryandIpickherupandput
heri
nmyar ms.Ilayherheadonmychestand
l
ethersob.Iwonderwhatcoulditbe?
[
10/
29,
17:
10]Wadz
:£09
~Thando~
Sigh.Eversincemot hertoldmeabouther
si
ckness, Iknewdeat hwasi nevi
tabl
e.ButI
di
dntt hinkitwouldbesosoon.Thewaymy
uncl ebr
okeov erthephoneandhear ingmyaunt
cryinginthebackgroundmademeweakert han
ever .Whowasgoi ngt obeinmycor nerwhen
al
l elsefai
ls?Whatifthissham ofamar ri
age
bl
owsupi nmyf ace,whowasIgoi ngtotal
kto?
Makazi couldneverunder standmel ikeumama.
Mamai sagent l
esoul whosoot hesme
whenev erIneedsoot hing.Af t
ercryi
ngfor
somet imeinMel i
sizwesar ms, Icalm downand
wipemyt earswit
hhi ssoakingwetshi r
t.Ishi
ft
andheunwr apshisar msaroundme.Igetup
andgot othebathroom walkingpastt he
parents.Igetinandwashmyf ace.Myey esare
adar kgreenandpuf fy.Mynosei sredandso
aremycheeks.Idr ymyf aceandappl yfresh
cream oni t
.WhenIgobackout ,If
ind
Melisizwesitti
ngont hebed.Hel ooksupwhen
Iwalkout ,wit
hquest i
oningey es.
Me:Mymom died.Shehadlungandbone
marr
owcancer
.She'dbeenbatt
li
nginsi
lence
andonl
ytol
dmel astweek.
Hi
m:I
m sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss.
Igivehi
m aweaksmi l
eandwal kpasthim.Iget
tothekit
chenandt heresnoonet her
eandI
star
tcooking.Icookmamasf amousspicy
l
ambst ewwi thsteamedbasmat iri
ceand
sweetandsourst irfryveg.Nalediwal
ksint
o
thekit
chenandgi vesmeahug.
Her
:Im sosor
ryKany
i.
Isaynot
hingandj
ustwi
pemyev
erf
all
i
ngt
ear
s.
Her
:Got
obed.Letmecont
inue
Me:
NoMapl
ease.Thi
sismyr
emedy
.
Her
:Okay
.Il
ltel
lSi
mtogi
vey
ousomespace.
Ismi
l
eather
Me:
Thanky
ou.

Idishupandputf oodont hedi

nnertabl
e.
Everyoneisal
readyseatedinsi
lence.
Tat'Mvel
asesaysgr aceandIexcusemysel
f.
Nal
edi
:Younoteat
ing?
Ishakemyheadno
Me:
May
bel
ater
.
Meli
sizweisst
ari
ngatme,l
ooki
ngl
ost
.Ismil
e
athi
m andwalkaway.AssoonasI
minthe
room,Igeti
ntobed.
Imust v
edozedof fbecauseIm wokenupbymy
phoner i
ngi
nginthedistanceandMelisi
zwei
s
wrappedaroundmel ikeav i
ne.Igent
ly
untanglemysel
ffrom him andanswer.
Me:
Hel
l
o
Makazi
:Hel
l
onana.
..
Herv
oicesoundshoar
seandi
sbr
eaki
ngt
oo.
Me:
HiMakaz.
Her:Baby
,askuMam'Naledi
ify
oucancome
overonTuesdaypl
ease
Me:
Okaynopr
obl
em.
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oomuch.
Igi
ggl
e,causi
ngMel
i
sizwet
ost
ir
Me:
Lov
eyoumost
.
Shehangsup.
Melisi
zwepull
smei ncloserandwesnugglet
il
l
wef al
lasl
eep.Icanfeelmyheartpoundinmy
chestandIknowt hi
sfeel
ingall
toowell.
Inthemor ni
ngIm wokenupbysomet hingbi g
pokingmybum.Ohgoshi tshi
m.Imov eaway
andgetupandgoshower .OnceIm doneIgot o
theclosetandshowerandchangeint here.My
eyesaresosor eandmyheadi sspli
tt
ingi nhal
f.
Melisi
zwecomesi nandgivesmet abletsand
somewat er
.Ismil
eandtakethem
Me:
Mor
ning
Hi
m:Mor
ning.
Thewayhi
spant
sar
ehangi
ngonhisbody
makesmewantt
ori
poffhi
scl
othesandl
et
hi
m hav
eme.
Hi
m:St
opst
ari
ng?
Me:
Justr
etur
ningt
hef
avour
.
Hel
aughsandcomessi
tsnextt
ome.
Him:Yourfl
i
ghtisbookedfort
oni
ghtbutI
m
sorr
yIwontbeabletocome.Ihav
etoworkbut
Il
lbether
efort
hefuneral
Me:
OkayIunder
stand.
Het urnsmyheadandkissesmesodelici
ousl
y.
Ishiftandsi
tontopofhim.Hestooyummynot
to.Hemoansi nmymout handpull
saway.
Him:Ha.
aorelseIm goi
ngtofucky
outil
lyou
cantwal
k.Andri
ghtnow,your
ehurti
ngbaby.
Me:
Im sor
ry.
Him:
Dontbe.Itsgoodt
oknowt
haty
ouf
eel
the
samethatIdo.
Me:
Whi
chi
s?
Hi
m:Hungerf
ory
ou.
Ismi
leandgetoff
.Ist
andandhestandsi
nfr
ont
ofmeandkissesmemore.Igi
ggl
eandpull
away
.
Me:
StopIhav
etopack.
Hegroansandpul
lsaway
,hewal
ksof
fandI
m
l
eftsmil
ingt
ouchi
ngmyli
ps.
I
ntheki
tchen,
uMam'
Nal
edi
iscooki
ng.
Me:
Goodmor
ningma
Her
:Hi
baby
.Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Shet
urnsandf
rownswhensheseesme.
Her:
Whatarey oudoingoutofbed?Ohmy
baby,t
hosebeauti
ful
ey esl
ooksopainf
ul.
Me:
theyar
e.It
houghtIshoul
dcomeandhel
p
Her:No.Younotdoi
nganythi
ngtil
laft
ert
he
funer
alokay?Andyoudi
dnteatlastni
ght
.Got
o
bedandSazi wi
ll
bri
ngyourfoodtoyou
Iopenymout
htospeakbutshecut
smeof
f
Her:Ha.aKanyisa.Youhav
ebeenthr
ough
enough.Pleaseletmedothisf
ory
oubabyface.
Ismil
eandletmyt earsfall
.Shecomesov er
andcomfort
sme, Isobhar derandlet
ever
ythi
ngI
vebeenhol dinginout.Sherubsmy
backandki
ssesmyf oreheadrepeat
edly
.Istop
whenIhavehiccups.WhenIpul laway,
Melisi
zweisstandingi
nthekitchenlooki
nglost
butsoonrecoversandgivesmesomewat er
.I
thankhiminamel achonl
yvoice.HenodsandI
got ot
heroom andpack.OnceI m done,Iget
i
ntobedandj ustrestmythrobbi
nghead.

TheresaknockonmydoorandSazi
wal
ksi
n
wit
h2pl at
esoffood.
Her
:Inasi
si
(her
eyougosi
si
)
Me:
Thanky
oubaby
.Whost
heot
herpl
atef
or?
Her
:Me.CanIsi
twi
thy
ou?
Inodandscootov
erandshesi
tsnextt
ome.
Her
:Im sor
ryabouty
ourmom
Me:
Itsokay
.
Webothsitandeati
nsilence.Whenwedone,
Sazigi
vesmeawar m hugandkissonthe
cheek.
Her
:Idontknowwhy
,butIl
ovey
ousosomuch.
Li
key
our
emybl
oodsi
ster
.
Il
augh
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
AndkeIdo.FunnyhowitssoeasytosayIl
ove
yout
oherbutyetIdontknowherthatwel
l.
Her
:Yougoi
nghomet
oday
?
Me:
Yeah.
Her:I
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.Pr
omi
sey
ou'
l
lcome
back?
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Promi
se
Her
:Good.Causei
tsni
cehav
ingy
ouar
ound.
Me:
Real
l
y?
Her
:Yeah
Me:
Doesntseem so
Her
:Whatdoy
oumean?
Me:
Suzuki
wedoesntseem l
i
keshel
i
kesme.
Her:ar
hgnodontmi ndher.Shejusthatesthat
youhavenosayi nthis.Mysisterisastrong
femini
stsothi
sisnotdoi ngwel lf
orher
especi
all
ythefactthattheresnothingshecan
doorsayaboutit.Dontmi ndherman. ..
Ibreatheoutasighofrel
iefandgi
veSazi
anotherhug.Melisi
zwewalksinl
ooki
ngall
sortsofyummyandsmi l
esatme.Ipul
laway
andSazi l
eavesus.
Si
zwe:
Arey
our
eady
?
Me:
Ewebhut
i.
Hesmi
l
es
Hi
m:Let
sgo.
SizwegetsmybagsandIhugev er
yone.He
driv
esmet otheai
rportandwavesmeof f.I
m
reall
yner
voustobefly
ingalone.ButI
llbeokay
.
Ihavetobe.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Aft
erIv
edroppedThandooff,
Igohomeand
chi
llwi
tht
hefam.Mybr ot
hersandthei
rwives
comeinandSiphenat
hii
slooki
ngforThando.
Her
:Uphi
uKany
isa?
Me:
Shesgonehome
Her
:Sosoon?Whatdi
dyoudo?
Igasp
Me:Hai
bo!Nothi
ng.Hermom di
edsoshes
goi
ngtosor
tfuneral
arr
angement
sandsuch.
Her:
Oh.Shameman.Pleasegi
vemeher
numbersoIcansendmycondol
ences.
If
reeze.Fuck.Idonthav
ehernumber.What
ki
ndofhusbanddoesnthavehiswif
e'snumber
?
Me:
Andi
nay
o(Idonthav
eit
)
Shel
ooksatmeconf used.Sher
oll
sherey
es
andshakesherhead.
Her
:Sazi
!
Sazi
:Si
si?
Her
:Izapha(
comeher
e)
Sazi
comesdownt
hest
air
sandi
ntot
heki
tchen
Her
:Si
si?
Si
phe:
Doy
ouhav
eThandosnumber
?
Sazi
nodsandgi
vesitt
oSiphe.Shelooksatme
conf
usedandwal
ksout.I
ll
askherlaterf
orit
.
Nomsawalksi
nwithOlwet
hu.
Ol
wet
hu:
Sohowsmar
ri
edl
i
fe?
Me:Uhm,Icantqui
tesay
.Im notr
eal
l
yful
l
yin
youknow.
Nomsa:Mmm. .
.Im sor
ryaboutwhathappened
wi
thyourwi
fesmot her
.
Me:
Okay
..
.
Nomsa:
Sendmycondol
ences.
Si
phe:
How?Hedoesntev
enhav
ehernumber
.
Them:
Hay
iMel
i
sizwe!
I
m def
eat
edsoIj
ustst
andupandgo.Idont
havetimef orthei
rjudgement albull
shit
.Ical
l
Yonela.Itr
ingsforquitesomet imet hengoes
tovoicemail.Ical
lagain,samet hing.Iwonder
whatshecoul dbedoi ng.Ilookedatt heti
me
anditwaspast10t henIr emember edthatshes
probablyatwor kt
oday .
Igoandchi
l
lwit
hmybrot
hersunt
ilt
heyleave.
Myphoneri
ngsandi
tsanumberIdontknow.
Me:
Mel
i
sizweMv
elasehel
l
o
Cal
ler
:HiBhut
i,i
tsKanyi
sa.I
vear
ri
vedsaf
ely
.
Pl
easetel
lumamanot at
a
Me:Hiyou.Okaymyangel
.Hopeev
ery
thi
ng
goessmoothl
y.
Her
:Thanky
ou,
bye.
Me:
Bye.
Shedropst hecal
l.Nothi
ngtur
nsmeonmor e
thanhercalli
ngmeBhut i
.Yeeeri
tdr
ivesme
crazyespecial
lyi
nthatsweetvoi
ceofher
s.
DuringsupperIt ellmypar ent
swhat supand
havel ightconv er sati
onwi t
heveryone.Af ter
dinner ,whilstImi nmyr oom, myphonebuzzes.
WhenIopeni t,Yonel ahassentmeapi cofher
i
nl i
nger ie.Shit.Mycockst ir
s.Imusthav eher
now.Thepi ciscapt i
oned' Waiti
ng'.Fuck.I
i
nst antlyjumpf rom t hebedandheadf orthe
door .Lucki l
ymypar entsandSi m areupst ai
rs
soIpaySazi tocov erforme.Sheshakesher
headandsay ssur e.IdrivetoYonel ashot el
and
knock.Sheopens, wear ingablacksi lkgown
andl inger i
e.Asmi lecur vesonmyl i
psandshe
stepsasi de,whi l
eIwal kin,myey esnotl eavi
ng
hers.
[
10/
29,
17:
10]Wadz
:£10
~Thando~
Iwontgoint
odetai
laboutthefuneral butIwi
ll
sayever
ythi
ngwentsmoot hl
y.Mel i
sizweand
hisf
amil
ycametosuppor tbuttheyst ayedi
n
Queenst
own.Hecall
edmeev er
y dayt wi
ceaday
whenIwashomeaski nghowIwasandal l
.
Atl
eastheshowedt hathecared.Todayis
Sundayandwe'reprepari
ngt ol
eave.Makazi
saysshe'
ll
stayathomeper manant
lyandput
upthehouseinDongwef orsal
ebecauseshe
doesntwanttostaythereanymore.Ihugher
goodbye
Her:(
inmyear)dontf
orgetourtal
k.Iknow
your
ehurti
ngbutyoumustfulf
il
l y
ourwifel
y
duti
es.Imeani
nthebedroom.
Me:
Okayma.
Her
:Nopr
essur
e.
Igiggleandwi nkatherwhenshepul l
saway.
Any way,wegeti nt
ot hecaranddr i
v etoEast
London.I tsj
usthim andIi nthecar.Wegett o
EastLondonandbooki ntothehotel.Wegoup
tother oom andItakeashower .Wel eaveear
ly
tomor r
owwi ththeprivateplanesoI m not
wor r
ied.Myhear ti
sst i
llachi
ngbutmyur ges
forMel i
sizwearestronger.WhenIcomeoutof
t
heshower
,Si
zwei schangi
ngint
opjs.Igoover
t
othebedandsi
tinfr
ontofhim.Hesmi l
esat
me
Me:Thanksf
orsuppor
ti
ngmet
hroughal
lof
t
his
Hi
m:Al
way
s.
Hebendsandki
ssesmesosweet
ly.I
tsnot
l
ongandwhenhepull
saway
,hessmili
ng.
Hi
m:Yout
ast
esogood
Ibl
ushandpushhi m away .Iwal
ltothe
bathr
oom andfini
shof fcr
eamingmybodyand
weari
ngmyni ghtdress.IcomeoutandMel ii
s
al
readyi
nbed.Igeti nbesidehim andsl
eep.

Inthemi ddl
eoft henight
,Mel ii
swrapped
aroundmel i
kesilkandIreall
yneedtopee.I
gentlymov eunderhim andgopee.Iquickly
washmymo- mowi thaclothandrefr
esh
my self
.Igetint
obedandhepul lsmeincloser
.
Iki
sshi
m ontheneckandattemptt
ogetont
op
ofhi
m.Icanhearhi
ssmile.
Him:Kanyi
sa,dontst
artsomet
hingy
ouwontbe
abl
etofini
sh.
Me:
Say
swho?
Hechuckl esandinnot i
mehesont opofme,
kissingmewi t
hsomuchneedandl onging.He
skimshi shandt ot hehem ofmydr essand
pullsitupandt akesi toff
.Hesshirt
lesssomy
handsar eonhi sbar e,muscularbackandi t
feelsgood.Hesl owl ykissesmyneckandhi s
handspl aywi t
hmybr easts.I
tfeel
ssogood, Im
practical
lysquir
mi ngunderhi m.Hismout h
mov esf rom myneckt omybr east
swher ehe
suckseachoneandgent lybl
ows.Itsorgasmi cI
tellyou,somuchsot hatIcum i
nmypant ies.
Hi
m:Soeager
?
Me:
mmm.
..
Hi
smout
hmov
esf
rom mybr
east
stomynet
her
regions!Andthatswhereallt
hefunbegins.I
m
tel
li
ngy ou,t
hismanst ongueisl
i
kemagi c.It
s
sowar m andkindaroughespeci
all
yonmy
shav encrot
ch.Im moaningandscreamingand
call
ingoutnamest hatIveonl
yeverdreamedof
using.Icum inhi
smout h,har
dandhemov es
up.
Hi
m:Youonacont
racept
ive?
Me:
Yeah.
Hesmi l
esandkissesme,makingmet astemy
ownpleasure.AndImustsay
,thoughitsabit
sal
ty,
Idot ast
egood.Heremov eshi
spj pant
s
andgetsinbetweenmylegs.
Hi
m:Yousur
eaboutt
his?Icanst
opi
f.
.
Me:
Ineedy outot
akemypai
naway
.Makeme
f
eelgoodbabe.Pl
ease.
Hekissesmeandposi t
ionshimsel
fbetween
mylegs.Helif
tsmylegshigherandspreads
t
hem wide.Icanfeel
him onthewallofmy
coochieandwithonehar dthrust
,heripsme
andisin.Il
etoutascr eam butIm qui
ckly
si
lencedbyhiskisses.Atearescapesmyey e
andfall
sont hesideofmyf ace.
Hi
m:I
m sor
rybabe,
wantmet
ost
op?
Me:
No.Pl
ease.
Hegentl
yst
art
smov
ing.I
tspai
nful
buti
tfeel
s
sogood.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Ohmy !Thandoissotightandv erywarm.Wi th
everythrust,
Icanfeelmy selfbui
ldi
ngsoIst art
picki
ngupt hepace.Hermoansandmov ement
ofherwai stmoti
vatemet ogivehermybest
butalsobegent l
ewithher .Icanfeelherbody
tensi
ngunderme
Me:
Letgobaby
.
Shearchesherback,
pushingherbr
east
sint
o
me.Theyaresowar m andper
ky.Theyf
it
perfectl
yintomyhand.Shel etsoutamoan,
call
ingmynamei ntheprocessandhasa
massi veorgasm thatpushesmeoutofher
sli
ghtlyandl eavesuswet .Ifollowtooandlie
onherpant ing.Irol
loverandl ayonherside.I
switchont hesidelampandshecov er
sher
faceandgi ggles.Igentl
ymov eherhandsand
Im metbyemer aldgreeney es.Theyar e
magni fi
cent.Icouldstar
ei nt hem forali
feti
me.
Ismi l
eandsodoesshe.Idontknowwhatt o
saysoIj ustbitemyl owerlip.Andshemi r
rors
myr eacti
on.
Me:
Howwast
hat
?
Shegi
ggl
esandbur
iesherf
acei
nmychest
.
Me:
Hai
bo?Noanswer
.
Sheshakesherheadandsnugglesi
ncloser
.
Herski
nonmyski nismagical
.Ismil
etomy
sel
fasIhugher.Shemov esupandrol
lsontop
ofme.Sheli
cksmyf ace.WhatTheFUCK?
Her
:Iv
eal
way
swant
edt
ofeel
yourski
nonmy
tongue.I
tssmoot
hli
kegl
assonahotsummer
s
day.
Il
aughandgentl
yspankherbum.Shemoansin
suchawaythatmakesmydickwake.I
tssexy
.I
ki
sshercheekandshesmil
es.
Her
:Howmanyv
irgi
nit
ieshav
eyoubr
oken?
Woah!Sucharandom quest
iont
obeaski
ng.I
m
st
unnedIdontthi
nkIcananswer.
Me:
Yourt
heonl
yone.
I
tst
rue.Al
lthegi
rl
sIv
eev
erhadwer
en'
tvi
rgi
ns.
Her
:Real
l
y?
Me:
yeah
Her
:Wow!
Me:
Whyy
ouaski
ng?
Her:
Causeyoucar
essedmybodyl
i
kei
ts
somethi
ngy
oudoonadai l
y.
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.Fi
l
termuch?
Me:No.Justt
hatIknowhowt
ohandl
ea
womansbody.
Her
:Mmmh.
.
Fuck!Whydi dIjustsayt hat
?Shegoesawf ull
y
quiet.IguessI v
emessedup.Iwantt omake
thisbetter.Iki
ssherheadandshebr eathesout.
WhenIpeakather ,shesasleep.It akemy
phonef rom thest andandi t
s2: 57am.Ishi f
t
andgot othebat hroom andwhenIcomeback,
shesmov edt ohersi de.Igetinbedandpul l
her
closertome.Ismi l
ei nthedar knesswhenI
thinkaboutwhatshesj ustdone.Shesj ust
givenmeheri nnocenceonasi l
verplatt
er.I
f
any t
hing,Iam grat efulandIllshowhermy
appreciati
onsoon.
[
10/
29,
19:
30]Wadz
:£11
~Thando~
☆Mont
hlat
er.
.☆
I
tsnowt
he31stofDecember
.Newy
ear
sev
e..
.
i
tsbeenqui tehecticthispastmont h, watching
Melisizwel ov ehisgi r
lfr
iendhasbeent he
hardest .LastweekIf oundaneckl acehi ddenin
hisblazer .Itwasbeaut i
ful andsoel egant ,
butI
am nof ool.Iknewt hati twasntmi ne.The
fol
lowi ngday ,heleftforheranddi dntcome
backhome.I m kindofusedt oitnow, butIm
notgoi ngt ol i
eandsayi tdoesntbot herme
becausei tdoes.I nfact,itinfuri
atesme
becauseIam st arti
ngt of all
forhim.Not
becauseoft hesex ,whichbyt hewayi s
phenomonal ,butbecauseoft hewayhei s.He
caresf ormewhenhewant st o,
butnott heway
hedoesf orher .
Anyway ,ear
li
erthisweek,iheardhim sayt ohis
fat
herthathesadamentont akingYonela( t
hats
hername)ashi ssecondwi fe,whetherIlikeit
ornot.Thatnight,Icr
iedmy sel
ftosleep.Ev er
y
ti
mehedoesntsl eephome, myhear tbreaks
fur
ther,especi
all
yknowi ngthatIcannev er
competewi thher.Shehashi sheartandwas
her
ebef
oreme.

Mel
i
:Kany
i.
..baby
?Hel
l
o?
That
swhathecall
smet osof
tenmeupand
al
mostal
waysitworks.Hi
sdeepvoi
ceandt
he
wayhesaysmynamemakememel t
.
Me:
Hmm?
Hi
m:Hey
?Wher
ewer
eyouj
ustnow?
Me:
Justt
hinki
ng.
Hi
m:About
?
Me:
Myr
esul
tsandwher
eIm goi
ngt
ost
udy
.
Hi
m:oh.HeyIwast
hinki
ng,
whydonty
oumov
e
i
nwit
hme?
Myey esshootupi
ntohi
s.Doesthismeanthat
hewantstogiveusachance?Butwhoam I
fool
i
ng?Icanseeitinhi
seyesthatit
snotgoing
tohappen.
Me:
Ooookaaay
??
Him:Yeah.We'
remar
ri
edandwoul
dver
ymuch
l
ikeustoactandbel
i
keacoupl
e.
Ial
mostscoffathi
sremark."
LIKE"!
!Soright
nowImjustsomechickheoccasional
l
yf ucks
causecl
ear
lytohim wear
eNOTacoupl e.
Hi
m:Kany
i?
Me:Yeahnopr
obl
em.Hav
eyout
oldy
our
par
entsyet
?
Hi
m:Yeahandtheydontseem t
omi
ndexcept
f
orSi
m andSazi
.
Whenhement
ionst
hei
rnames,
ther
esaknock
onmydoor
.
Me:
Comei
n.
Sazi
wal
ksi
n,herey
espuf
fyandr
ed.
Her
:Soy
our
eleav
ing?
Me:
Yeahbaby
.Iam mar
ri
edkal
oku.
Igetupandgi
veherahugandshehol
dsmeso
ti
ghtl
y.
Her
:Im goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
Me:
Met
oo.
Her
:Whendoy
oul
eav
e?
Ipul
lawayandl
ookatMel
i
.
Hi
m:Tomor
rowl
ate.
Il
ookathi
m,shocked.
MeandSazi
:Sosoon.
Hi
m:Yes.Saz
ipl
easeexcuseus.
Shepouts,ki
ssesmeonmycheekandwal
ks
out
.Mel i
walksovertomeandhol
dsmebymy
waistandpull
smet ohi
m
Him:ImissyourbodyandIj
ustwanty out
obe
asloudasyouwantwithnodist
urbancesby
Si
m.Okay ?
Me:
Ohsot
hisi
saboutsexmor
ethanust
ryi
ng?
Helooksatmeshocked.Hedidntexpectmeto
askthat
.Ipushhi
m offmecauseclearl
y,t
hat
s
al
lhewantsfrom me.
Inthekit
chen,Im cookingupast or
m because
Im pi
ssedoffli
kehel l
.Hesnotev enwil
li
ngto
try
.Allhewantsiswhat sbet weenmylegs.I
s
thatal
lIl
leverbegoodf or?Cooki
ng,cl
eani
ng
andfucking?Yeeer!Im somadIcoul dcrybutI
wontgivehimt hesatisfacti
on.
Mel
i
:Kany
i?
Il
ookathi
m
Me:
Bhut
i?
Hi
m:Canwet
alk?
Me:
Im cooki
ng.
Hesi
ghsandcomesar oundandstandsbehi
nd
me.Helay
shisheadonmyshoul derand
whi
spersi
nmyear.Thatsendsshiver
sdown
myspiner
ightt
omyv agina!
Him: Idontmeanitli
kethatKanyi
saplease.Yes,
Idl
iket ohavesexwithy
ouagai nbutmoret han
anythingIdl
iketohaveyouallt
omy self
.
Ev
eryti
me,wetr
ytotalk,
theresSaziorSi
m who
di
stur
bus.Andworstofally
ouletthem..
Me:
Soi
tsmyf
aul
t?
I
mfumi
ngwi
thr
age.Rha!
Him:Nothat
snotwhatImeanmyl ove.Just
t
hatIwanttobeinourownsmallbubble.Just
t
hetwoofus.Likeaminihoney
moonbef or
e
yougotoschool
.Okay?
Ismil
eandnod.Heki ssesthebackofmyear
andcircl
eshishandsaroundmywaist.Mmm
thatf
eelsgood.
Him:Baby
,woul
dyoubemadi
fIsai
dIwant
younow?
Me:
ButI
m st
il
lcooki
ng
Hi
m:Whenl
ast
?Theweekbef
ore?
Me:
Andwhosf
aul
tist
hat
?
Hi
m:I
m sor
ry.I
vebeen.
..occupi
ed.
Il
aughandpushof
fhi
m.Ri
ght
!
Dinneri
stensebet
weenthetwoofus.He
keepslooki
ngmyway,butIcoul
dntgi
vet
wo
shit
s.
Sazi
:Cany
ousl
eepi
nmyr
oom t
oni
ght
?
Befor
eIcanrepl
y,Mel
i
sizwei
sal
ready
ahead(
rol
l
ingeyes)
.
Hi
m:No.Kanyi
saismyWI
FEandshesl
eepsi
n
MYroom.Cl
ear?
Igl
areathi
m.Sazi
say
snot
hing
Me:
Howaboutwespendt
heaf
ter
noonatt
he
mal
ltomor
row?
Shebl
ushessohar
d.
Her
:Okaydeal
.
Mamaandt
atasmi
l
eatme.
Af
tersupper,mamai nsi
ststhatherandSazi
wi
lldothedishes.SoIgotot heroom andpack.
Meli
sizwecomesi nandclosestheclosetdoor
andl
ocksi
t.Fuck!
Hi
m:What
syouri
ssue?
Me:
Int
ermsof
?
Mybacki
stohi
m whenIr
epl
y.
Him:
LOOKATMEWHENI
M SPEAKI
NGTO
YOU!
Me:
Dontshout
.
Iturnandfacehi
m andhel
ooksmadAF!Butso
fuckensexy.Mar
athismani
sjustbeaut
if
ul,
peri
od.
Hi
m:Whati
sthepr
obl
em?
Me: Thedi srespect.Dismi ssingmyf eel
ingsas
i
ft heydontmat ter,orbettery etmeannot hing
toy ou.Forgetti
ngt hatjustlikey ou,Ihad
plannedal if
ebutwasf orcedi nthistoo.The
const anthumi l
iati
onofwaki ngupwi thoutyou
bymysi deaty ourpar entshouseandhav ing
yourpar entslookatmewi thsuchpi t
yintheir
eyes.That sthei ssue.
Wi
tht
hatbei
ngsai
dIcont
inuepacki
ng.

Ikeeptossi
ngatt
urni
ngi
nbedbutIcantsl
eep.
Melii
snexttome.Heswi
tchesont
helight
.
Hi
m:Whati
sit
?Youkeept
ossi
ngar
ound.
Hesatupandsodi
dI.Bef
oreIcanopenmy
mouth,
herai
seshi
shandtosi
lencemesoI
shutmymouth
Him:Thandol wam, Im sorr
yforbei
ngabad
husband.ButIpromi setotryhar
derfr
om now
on.I
m sorryfordisrespecti
ngourmarri
ageand
i
tstopsnow.Buty ougottounderst
andthat
YonelaandIhav ehistoryand.
..
Icuthi
m of
f.
Me: Notoncehav eIeveraskedyoutol
eaveher
forme.Nev er!Youdontseemecal l
i
ngyou
wheny ouwi t
hher,butshecall
syouwhenyou
withmeandy ouANSWER!YOUFUCKI NG
ANSWERANDTHENHAVETHEAUDACI TYTO
SAYYOULOVEHERI
NFRONTOFME.
I
m enragedandev
encr
yingnow.I
mfucken
pi
ssed.
Me: Iunderst
andy oudontl ovemeandy ou
neverwill
.Buttor ubsal tt
ot hewound?Wow.
Andexact l
ywhyar eyout akingmetoy ourpl
ace
he?Soy oucanl eav emet her ewi
thnoonet o
cal
loraskany thingf r
om andgot oherfr
eely
wit
houty ourparentsbr eathingdownyourneck
huh?Isthatwhy ?
Heshakeshi
sheadno.
Me:
Getout
!
Hi
m:Hai
bo?
Me:
Mel
i
sizweMv
elase,
getout
.
Hi
m:Butt
hisi
smyr
oom
Me:
Idontgi
vet
woshi
ts.Leav
e!Got
oher
,go!
Hedoesntmov e,soIthr
owtheglassonmy
si
deathim andithit
sthewal
l.Hesshocked
andget
sup.
Me:
Now!
Heget supandl eaves.Draggi
nghi sfeetatt
hat
.
Igetintobedandsobsi lentl
y.Ihearthedoor
cl
ose.Andt hatalonebreaksmef urt
her.Our
fi
rstfi
ghtandIvej ustki
ckedhim outofhis
parentshome.Si gh..
.
[
10/
29,
19:
36]Wadz
:£12
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thandohasj ustkickedusoutofourr oom.
Hee!!Idontknowwhet hertobeangr yor
rel
ieved.Thewayshet hroughthatglassatme
mademesoscar ed.Iwassur eshewasgoi ng
tokil
l me.ButIm notleavingher,no.Im goi
ng
togosl eepi
nBhutLangasr oom.Iopent he
doorandgeti nt
obedanddozeof f,deepin
thoughtaboutallthatThandosj ustsaid.
Inthemor
ning,
Iwakeupandgotothekit
chen.
Ibumpint
ohercooki
ngandsi
tonthehigh
chai
r.
Me:
Mor
ning.
Her
:Hel
l
o.
Herv
oicehel
l
oisi
cy.Shi
t!
Me:
Happynewy
ear
s.
Her
:Thanks.Yout
oo.
Befor
eIcanopenmymout htospeak,her
phonerings.Shespeaksforawhile,
laughi
ng
andgiggli
ng.It
sreal
lyaheavenlysoundtohear
.
Aft
erawhi le,
shedropsthecall
.
Me:
Aft
erbr
eakf
astgetr
eadywe'
reheadi
ngout
.
Her
:Icant
.Ipr
omi
sedSazi
.
..
Me:
Ndi
thi
nikuwe?
(whatdi
dIj
ustsayt
oyou?
)
Shesay
snot
hing,
soIbangt
het
abl
e.
Me:
Kany
isa!
Mom:
Hay
iMel
i
sizwe!Asoze(nev
er)
!
Thandoi
slooki
ngatmebl
ankl
y,wi
thnotso
muchasf earinhereyes.Shescoolandthat
al
onejustpissesmeof f.I
m notaviol
entguy,
butwhenpushed?Ncncncnc.I m dangerous.I
getupandwal kaway.Igetint
oourbedroom
andshower.WhenIcomeout ,I
m cool.

Thandocomesi
n
Her
:Br
eakf
asti
sready
,Bhut
i.
IthoughtIwascool .Nah,Iwasf uckingfooli
ng
my sel
f.Igrabherandlockt hedoor.Bef or
eshe
cansayany t
hing,myli
psar eonher s.She
respondsandIpi nheront hedoor.Im hungry
forher.Ili
ftherupandt r
ytakingherdr essoff
ofher,itdoesntobli
ge.Sot her
ewasonl yone
optionleft
,teari
ngit
.Ifel
tlikeabeastasIt ore
i
t.
Her
:Bhut
i.
Me:
Shhh,
nowor
ds.
Oncet
hedr
esswasof
fcompl
etel
y,i
mov
edher
totheedgeoft
hebedandknel
tbefor
eher.
Shesweari
ngredundi
es,
whichIgl
adlyt
akeof
f
wit
hmyt eet
h.
Her
:Bhut
i.
..i
ma.
..wai
t.
..
Isil
enceherwi thmyt ongueonhernooki e.She
moansandhol dsmyhead, spreadingherl egs
wider.Yes!Justwher eIwanthert obe.Il ifther
higherandstarttorment inghercooki e.Ican
feelherlegstensi
ng, shesal mostt here, andl i
ke
gentlerainonahotsummer sday ,sher ainsi n
mymout h.Yum!Ipul lmypant sdown, fl
ipher
overandsl am my sel
fi nt
oherwet ness.She
screamsandIspankherbum t osi l
enceher .
ShemoansandIpi ckupmypace.Igof ast er
andwi t
hev erythr
ust, herlegst i
ghteni nf rontof
meandsoon, sheshower smewi thcum.I
foll
owensui t
e.Fuck!Ij ustmadehersqui r t
.
Excit
edasIam, Im notsat i
sfi
ed.Im stil
l har d
andIwantmor e.Iturnherov erandpi ckherup
andmov ehertothewal l
, whereIwr apherl egs
aroundme.WhenIsl idei n,shegaspsand
pushesmeback
Her
:Your
eint
oodeep.
..
Ikissherneckandshecal msdownandputs
herhandsonmyshoul der
s.Ist
artmovi
ng,
sl
owl yatfir
st.Butt
hewayherpussyhugsmy
dickson,andthewar mt
hofital
l,f
uckIst
art
poundinghersohar d.
Her
:Bhut
i.
..pl
ease.
..aaah!
..
.no.
..
Me:
Shhh.
..
Shest ar
tsscratchi
ngmyback, f
uckme!Shesa
beast.Shetightenshergr
ipar
oundmeand
sl
ightl
yclosesherv agi
nalwal
lsti
ght
eraround
mypeni s.Thatsenoughtomakebothofus
cum together.Wear ebot
hlef
tbreat
hlessand
ti
red.Andwet !

Atbreakf
ast
,Kanyisaisqui
et.Butglowi
ng,shes
thor
oughlyf
ucked.Iputmyhandonhert high
andsheinst
antl
yclosesherlegs.Iwantt
o
l
augh.
Dad:
Mvel
ase?
Me:
Ta?
Him andmom burstoutlaughing.FuckIknow
whatthi
sisabout.Isteal
agl ancewithKanyi
andhercheeksarepink.Verypink.Sazi
,Si
m
andSuziareconf
used.
Sim:Mommy
?CanIgopl
ayatJessi
eshouse
today
?
Ma:
Okaymybaby
.Sazi
wil
ltakey
ou.Nhe?
Sazi
:Okay
.
Sazi
looksatKany
iandt
heysmi
l
esecr
etl
y.
Ist
ret
chov
erandwhi
speri
nherear
.
Me:
Im notdonewi
thy
ou.
Shesmilesandstandst
ocleart
heplat
es.I
haveafullvi
ewofherbum.Fuckme!It
sbigbut
Icanhandleit
.Ir
eachupandsqueezeit
.
Her
:Hay
i.
Iwi
nkandbi
temyl
owerl
i
pandshel
ooksaway
bl
ushi
ng.
Sheclearsupandgoest otheki
tchen.If
oll
ow
behindher.Shesbythesink,
Igostandbehind
herandpressmygoodnessonhersexybehi nd.
Iputmyhandsar oundherwaistandkissher
neck.
Her
:Hay
iBhut
i!Whati
fumamanot
atawal
kin?
Shepushesmewit
hherbehi
ndandcar
ri
eson
washi
ngdishes
Me:
Youpushi
ngmeaway
?Agai
n?
Shedoesntrespond,i
nsteadshelooksatme
withthosebeaut
if
uleyesandbitesherbott
om
l
ip.Yhowhydoest hi
sgirlmakemecr azyso
much?Mustbet hesex.
It
akeadi
shcl
othandhel
pherwi
pet
hedi
shes
Her:
HawBhuti
?Kantither
essomet
hingy
ou
candoi
ntheki
tchen?
Shesay
sthatwi
thsuchshockt
hatmakesme
l
aughsohar d.Shegigglesandwewasht he
di
shesinsi l
ence.Wi t
htheoccasi onalglance
andbrushingofbodi esagainsteachot her.
Shesplayi
ngadanger ousgame.Shebendst o
wipet
het able,butthewayshebendsi ssosexy
i
tsendsshi versri
ghttomydi ck.Befor
eshe
goesandst andsont heot hersideofthet abl
e,
l
il
esheknowsI m aboutt ograbher .
Her
:Sowher
ewegoi
ng?
Me:
Beach.
Her
:Oh.
Me:
Andy
oumustwearabi
ki
ni.
Shel
aughs
Her
:No.
Me:
Arey
oudef
yingme?
Her
:No,
Imr
espect
ingmybody
.
Me:
Wel
lIwanty
out
o.
Her
:No.
Me:
Yes.
Her
:No.
Me:
YouknowIcandot
hist
hewhol
eday
?
Her
:Iknow.Besi
des,
itst
hef
ir
stt
hebeachwi
l
l
bef
ull
.Cantwegosomewhereel
se?
Me:
Wecangot
omyhouset
hen.
Her
:Sosoon?
Me:
Hai
ke!
Igiv
eupandturnbacktot
hedishes.Idont
knowwhatswrongwithme.ButIj
ustcant
seem t
owooher.OhIknow..
.
Me:We'l
lgot
omyhouset
henwe'
l
lcomeback.
Pr
omise.
Her
:okayt
hennopr
obl
em.
Ismi
l
eatherseduct
ivel
y.
Her
:No.
Me:
Nowhat
?
Her
:Im sor
e.
Me:Noty
etyounot
.WhenI
mthr
oughwi
thy
ou,
you'
l
lbel
impi
ng.
Her
:Ha!We'
l
lseeaboutt
hat
.
Idropthetowelandwal
kov
ert
othet
abl
ethat
s
separat
ingus.
Me:
Ist
hatso?
Shesaysnot
hingexceptforl
ickherl
i
psand
unbot
tononeofthebuttonsonhershir
t,
rev
eal
li
nghercleavage.Damn...
[
10/
29,
19:
39]Wadz
:£13
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thandoi slayingonmychestaf terahellofa
fucksession.Thewaysher odemef am?Flame
fordays!Nev erinmyl i
fehav eIeverbeen
sexuall
ychal l
engedlikethat.Thisyoungbl ood
real
lyknowswhatshesdoi ngasi fshehas
beendoingi tforyear
s.We' rebreathlessand
wet,dri
ppingwi theachot herspleasure.
Me:
Let
sgoshowerandgo.
Her
:Okay
.
Wehaveaninnocentshowert
oget
herandget
dr
essedt
oleave.Befor
eweheadoutthedoor
,
mydadcall
sme.
Me:
Tat
a?
Him:Goeasyonthepoorgi
rl
.YhooIcanhear
herf
rom myroom.
Me:Uzubewenaumamel
int
oni
(whyar
eyou
l
ist
eni
ng)?
Isayl
aughi
ngandwal
ki
ngout
.
Dad:
HeyKwedi
n!!
!(
boy
!!
)
Iwalkof
fandgetint
othecarwi thKanyibesi
de
me.Assoonaswel eave,
shet akesofft
he
doekandlet
sherhairl
oose.Shesdyedit
maroonanditsui
tshersomuch.Br i
ngsouther
eyesandherski
ntone.
Me:
Your
esobeaut
if
ul,
youknowt
hat
?
Shebl
ushes
Her
:Thanky
ou.Your
enott
oobady
our
sel
f.
Ichuckleabitanddri
vetomydadcompany .
Shel ooksatmeconfused,wegetoutandIhol d
herhand.Itfeel
ssogoodinmi ne,t
oogoodi n
fact.Wegoi nandgotothetopthef l
oor,t
othe
helipad.Der
ri
ckist
here,wait
ingforus.Kanyi
turnstome
Her
:We'
ref
lyi
ngt
oyourpl
ace?
Me:
Nope,
wef
lyi
ngar
oundCapeTown.
Shegaspsandl
ooksatme,
shocked.
Me:
Closey
ourmout
hbef
oref
li
esgeti
n.
Shegigglesandt hr
owsherar msar oundme.
Herhugsandki ssesar ethebest,
Imustsay
shame.Any way,wegeti nandIstrapherup
andwet akeat ourofthemot hercit
y.It
s
beauti
ful
.Itwouldbebet teri
ntheev eni
ng,but
we'l
ldothatsomeot herday.Derr
ickistheone
fl
yi
ngtoday ,andafterthetourwegoback.
From there,It
reatherouttoadelici
ousmeal
out,wher ewechatandl augh.Kanyii
sactually
maturef orherageandv erysmart.If
indmy self
smili
ngasIwat chherlookatthebeauti
fulview
oftheocean.

Backhome, Ispendt hedaywi t

hmyf ami lyand
Kanyi.Myphonei sringi ngnon- st
op, probabl y
YonelabutIchooset oignor eitbecausewi t
hall
thatKany isai
dy esterdayshewasr ight.WhenI
wentt oYonela, shewoul dntcallorev ent ext
me.ButIsuspecti tsbecauseshet hinksIwont
answer .Orshesj ustr espectingYonel a.It ext
Yonelat hatIm busyandwi l
lcallherwhenIget
thechance.WhenIl ookup, Thandoi snowher e
tobef ound.Igetupandgol ookf orher .Ifind
herinther oom, pacing.
Me:
Hey
?
Her
:Hi
.
Me:
What
swr
ong?
Her
:Not
hing.
Shef
akesasmi
l
e.
Me:
Tryagai
n.
Her
:Nor
eal
l
yIm okay
.
Witht
hatbei
ngsai
dshepushespastmeand
goesout
.

~Thando~
I
m sostupi
d,it
sajoke.Howcanmyhear t
betr
aymymi ndli
kethi
s?Ist
hisal
lpar
tofhis
pl
an?WhatwasIt hi
nki
nghe?Itwasal
ltoo
goodtobetr
ue.
Im pacingintheroom angr y .Imf uckeninlove
withMel i
sizwe.Cany oubel ieveit ?Just
yesterdayIwasr eadyt oslaught erhim butafter
today,withallt
het al
kingwedi d, Isawhishear t
andhowi thassomuchpot ent i
al ofl
ove.But
thatloveisnotmi ne.Ineedt obehonestwi th
my self
.Ifeelsostupidf orlovinghi mithurts.
Aaaarh!Iwantt oscream outi nf rustr
ation.And
thenhegoesandt extsheri nf r
ontofme.Just
whenIt houghtthingswer efinallylookingup
betweenus.Af tertal
kingwi t
hMel i,Igot othe
poolareawher eev er
yonei sseat edand
chatt
ing.Myphonebeepsandi tsanot ifi
cation
from mybur sarysayi
ngt hatt heyappr ovemy
appli
cationbutarenowwai tingf ormyr esul ts
forconfi
r mati
on.Iinvolunt
arilyletoutascr eam
ofexcit
ement .WhenIappl ied, Ithoughtmy
chancesofbei ngappr ovedwer eslimtonot hi
ng.
Sazi
:Andt
hensi
si?
Ismi
l
eatherbr
oadl
yandhugher
.
Mama:
Kany
iyi
ntoni
sthandwa(
whati
sitl
ove)
Me: Sorr
yma.I vej
ustbeenappr
ovedf
ora
bursarythatIappl
i
edforbegi
nni
ngofJunel
ast
year.Idi
dntthinkI
dgetit
.
Mel
i
:Buty
ounotgoi
ngt
oneedi
tnj
ebabe.
Mysmi
l
einst
ant
lyf
ades.Whatdoeshemean?
Doeshenotwantmet
ofur
thermyeducat
ion?
Me:
CanIt
alkt
oyoupl
ease?Now.
Heget
supandsodoIandwewalltoourroom.
Whenwegett
her
eIcl
osethedoorandsiton
t
hebed.
Me:
Youdontwantmet
ofur
thermyeducat
ion?
Hel
ooksatmeconf
used.
Me: Pl
easeBhuti,I
m beggingy
ou.Letmedo
thi
s.It
sallthatI
veeverdreamedof.Pl
ease
donttakethisawayfr
om me.I..
.
Hecut
smeof
f
Him:Whatarey ouonaboutlove?Im nott
aki
ng
anyt
hingawayfrom you.Al
lIm sayi
ngisthat
younotgoi
ngt oneedthebursarybecauseIm
payi
ngforyourfeesmos.
Myeyeswiden.Ohmygoodness!Ijumponhim
andat
tackhim wi
thki
ssesal
loverhisf
ace.
Me:
Thanky
ou!Thanky
ou!Thanky
ou!Youdont
knowhowmucht
hismeans.Il
ovey
ousomuch.
Thankyou!
Ohmyshit.Whatdi
dIj
ustsay?Holyf
uck.Di
dI
j
ustsayIl
ovehim?Outl
oud!Shi
ii
i
t!
HelooksatmewideeyesandIpushhi m offme
andwalkout
.Iknowhewontsayi tback.Ican
feel
iti
nmybones,andifhedoes,Iknowhe
wontmeanit.Why?Why?Why ?Aaaarhg!Me
andmybloodyfi
lt
erl
essmouth.Whathav eIjust
done?
.
.
.
(
Sor
ryi
tsshor
t,wi
l
lmakei
tupt
oyou)
.
[
10/
29,
19:
43]Wadz
:£14
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Shit
.Di
dThandojustsayshel
ovesme?Im
fl
abber
gast
ed.Speechl
ess.St
unned.WhatdoI
say?ItsnotthatIdontf eelt
hesamewaynhe, I
do.Butjustdiff
erent.Idohav estr
ongf eeli
ngs
forThando,Ireallydo.Butlove?eish,Idont
knowman.Ev enwhenIsayIl ovey outoot o
Yonela,myhear tcri
ngesbecauseIknowI m not
beinghonest.Idontev enlovemy self
,sohow
couldIpossibl
yl oveanotherhumanbei ng?The
onlywomenIl ov eismymot herandsisters.
I
m star
tingtof
eell
ikeshi
t.ThankGod
t
omor r
owi sMondaysoit
sbackt owork.Soal
l
t
hisawkwar dv
ibewil
lbegone.
Igoint
otheclosetandstar
tpacki
ngf or
tomorr
ow.Imleavingtoni
ghtbutI
lll
eave
Thandobehi
nd.

Igooutsideandstartsayi
ngmygoodbyes.
Thandodoesntev enlookmyway.Isi
ghandgo
overt
oher .Igi
veherabearhug,l
if
ti
ngherupi
n
theprocess.Shegigglesi
nmyearandIgiv
e
herabigsmoochwhenIputherdown
Si
m:Eeeeeeeuuw!
!Mommymaket
hem st
op.
Ichuckl
eatt
hat
.Psht
!Li
keshewoul
d.
Thandogi
vesmeahugandwhi
sper
sinmyear
Her:Youdonthav
etosayi
t.Pl
easedontsayi
t
back.
Il
ookatherandt
akeherawayf
rom ev
ery
one.
Me:
Whydonty
ouwantmet
osayi
t?
Her:Becauseyouwontbemeaningit.Just
mimickingwhatI
m sayi
ng.Justf
orgetIever
sai
ditokay?
Me:No.Iwont .Becausei
tcomesf r
om your
heartandIm elat
edtoknowthatyoufeel
somet hi
ngformebecauseIalsohavestrong
feel
i
ngsf oryou.
Her:
Stopmocki
ngmepl ease.Hav
easafetri
p
homeandenj
oywork.Seey ouwhenIseey
ou?
Shegi
vesmeahear t
-f
eltki
ssandwal
ksaway,
swayi
ngherper
fect
lyroundbut
tatme.Isi
gh.
Reser
vedandgoaround.Geti
ntomycarand
dri
vebacktoSummerstr
and.Thedr
ivei
slong
andIcal
lYonel
a
Her
:What
?
Me:Hai
ke.I
fyour
egoi
ngt
obel
i
ket
hat
,then
by
e.
Idr
opt
hecal
l
.

WhenIgett omyhouse, Yonelaisalready

parkedatt hegate.Iopenmygat eandshe
dri
vesin,sodoI .Myhousei squitebigf orone
personreally
.Ithas5bedr ooms, 5bat hrooms,
hel
ipad,cinema, l
ounge,kit
chen,pant ryand
outsi
de,swi mmingpool andj acuzzi.
Downstairsismymancav eandgar age.
Anyway,Yonel acli
mbsoutofhercarand
comest ome.Igetoutandshehol dsme.
Her:
Im sorr
ybaby.Justt
hatIwasannoy
edat
youfornotanswer
ingmycall
s.
Me:Wit
hgoodr
eason.Iwaswi
thmyf
ami
l
yand
wi
fe.
Her:Butthatdoesntmeany
oushoul
dntanswer
yourphone.
Me: NoYonela.Youknowt hatIm mar
ri
edand
thatmeansyoumustr espectthoseboundari
es.
WhenI m wi
thy ou,
doyouseemeanswer ing
hercal
ls?
Shepout
s
Her
:No.
Me:
Exactl
y.Sopl
easeext
endt
hesamecur
tesy
t
oherokay?
Her
:Fi
ne.
Shethr
owsherar
msaroundmyneckand
ki
ssesmedeepl
y.Shepul
l
saway
Her
:Iwast
hinki
ng?
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:Howabouty
oucomet
omypl
acef
or
di
nnert
oni
ght
?Onme.
Ismi
l
eandnod.

Thethingi swithYonel a,
itsr eal
.Wecancuddl e
wit
hnosexandt al
kt hewhol enight .Sher eall
y
wast heretopullmeoutofmydepr essi vestate
andloveme, evenwhenIdontl ovemy sel
f.I
val
ueherandl oveher .Shepi ckedmeupwhenI
wasdownanddust edmeof fwi t
hl ov e.She
caresformeandi sal wayst herewhenIneed
her.Myshoul dertoleanon.Nowt ellme, how
doIletgoofsomet hingliket hisforsomeoneI
hardl
yknow?We' vebeeni nti
mat ef orl i
ke2
weeksi fIsum ital
lupandIst il
ldontknow
Thandowel l
enought obui ldsomet hingwi thher.
Hadwenotbeenar ranged, Iwoul dn'thav e
l
ookedatThandot wi ce.Notbecauseshes
unattr
act i
ve,nobutbecauseIhav eev eryt
hingI
couldev erwantinawomani nYonel a.
~Thando~
Awhol eweekhaspassedandst il
l nowor d
from Mel i
sizwe.Imust vescaredhi m off.For
thepastweek, Ivebeencr yi
ngmy selftosl eep
askingmydadwhyhewoul dtormentmel i
ke
this?Whycoul dnthim andmom t ryandpayDr
Mv elaseof ft hensoIwoul dntsuf ferli
ket his.
Tobehonest ,whatmyf atherdidwasv ery
selfishandI m begi nningt oresenthi mf ori t
.
Yest erday,Ihear dumamaandt atasayt hatthe
reasonI m probabl ygr umpyt hisweeki s
becauseImaybemi ssi
ngMel i
sizwe.Mxm, i
f
onlyt heyknew.Theweekendcameandwent
andst i
llnowor dfrom him.Yazi ,Im star t
ingto
alsonotl i
keuYonel a.BecauseI mj ealousofher .
ShehasMel isizweshear tandsoul without
beingf orcedi ntoamar ri
age.Shei shiswor ld
whi l
eI mt hedusthewal kson.Ift hisiswhat
hear tbreakf eel sl
ike, t
henIdontwi shitupon
any one.
TheMondaymyr
esul
tsar
ecomi
ngoutandI
m
all
ji
tt
eryandscar ed.Utat
asaidhe'
ll
takemeto
thepetrolst
ati
oninthemor ni
ngtogocheckt
he
papers.Sazisai
dshe'l
lbetheret
oo.

Atdi
nner
,Im soqui
et.
Mama:
Dontbener
vous.I
m sur
eyoudi
dgr
eat
.
Ij
ustsmi
le.Mymindisnotevenonmyr
esul
ts,
i
tsonthi
stort
ureofamarri
age.
Afterdinner,Idot hedishes,cleanupandgot o
bed.Myphoner i
ngs.I
tsMel i
sizwe.Mxm.Il eti
t
ri
ngwhi l
eIgohav eawar m bat htocal m myself
.
Icanst il
lheari tr
ingi
ngandI m deci dingnotto
careatal l
.Heknowst hatweekendsar ethe
onlytimewecanspendt ogetherbecausehe
wor ksduringt heweek, andhedi dntcome
homet hi
sweekendsowhatt hefuckdoeshe
wantf rom me?Toapol ogiseagai n?Isnthe
ti
redofmaki ngmeani nglessapol ogiesti
me
andt i
meagai n?Hay iI
mt ir
edofhear ingthem
nam.Ij ustwantt ogetmyeducat i
onandl i
ve
l
ifetotheful
l
est.Myphoneev ent
uall
ystops
ri
nging,hemustvegrownti
redandgivenup.I
getoutofthebathanddrymy sel
fandcleanthe
bath.Iwrapmyselfi
natowelandgot othe
room andchangeint
opjs.
Myphoner
ingsagai
nandi
tsuMakazi
Me:
Himaki
.
Her:Al
lthebestf
ortomorr
ownana,
uyat
handwandim.(Ilov
eyou)
.Goodni
ght
Myt
ear
sfal
ldownmyf
ace.
Me:
Goodni
ght
.Lov
eyout
oo.Thanx
Idropthecal
lbef
oreshecanhearmecr y.Im
sotir
edofcryi
ng.Myey esarej
ustpainfulnow
l
iketheti
memom di ed.Isayashortprayer
thenfal
lasl
eep.

I
m wokenupbyasof
tknockonmydoor
.
Tat
a:Makot
i?Masi
ye(
let
sgo)
Me:
Okayt
ata.
Igetup, wearabr aandwearadr essand
Melisizweshoodi e.Ifibdmy selfi
nhali
nghis
scent.Mxm f uckenpr ick.Imisshim andhis
deepv oi
ceandl aughandsmi leand..
.and..
.and.
Thel i
stisendless.Iwr apmyheadandwi pemy
faceandgoout .Sazi iswearingjeansandIso
envyherr ightnow.Sazi i
stallwit
hthatmodel
bod.Itsgor geouslikeYonela.Woah!Wher edi
d
thatthoughtcomef r
om?

Wegett othepetr
ol st
ati
onandthereareot
her
studentst
here.Waiti
ngli
keus.Ist
epoutofthe
carwithSaziandstandatthedoor,
holdi
ngher
handandpl ayi
ngwithherfi
nger
s.
?
:TK!TKNQUMBU!
Iturnandfi
ndsomeonewav ingatme.Iwonder.
Iwav ebacktr
yingtomakeoutt heface.The
personcomescl oserandIcantbel
ievewhoiti
s.
It
sLaml aNjongo.Ohmygosh.Iscr eam.And
gi
vehim abearhugwhenher
eachesme.I
coul
dcry.
Me:Noo!Dude.
..wher
ehav
eyoubeen?How
ar
eyou?Ohmygosh.
Hesmi
l
esandpi
nchesmycheek
Him: St
il
lbeaut
iful
Isee.TshomzaIvebeen
aroundnje.I
m okayhowar eyou?Andwhois
thi
sbeautybesidesyou?
Ismi
l
e.
Me:Sazi
,mysi
steri
nlaw.Sazi
,Laml
amy
chi
l
dhoodbest
ie.
Lamla:Ohy eahhey.Umamadidsaykanene,
thoughtshewasj oki
ngbutl
i
keforr
ealsbabes,
youpushingthis?
Ismi
l
eandshr
ug
Him:Li
sten,
Im sor r
ythatIdi
dntcometoyour
momsf uner
al babes.IwasinJozit
hatweek.
Buty
ouknowI ll
makei tuptoyoupromi
se.
Whereyouattending?
Me:
Stel
l
ies.
Hescreamssodr
amat
ical
l
yandcl
apshi
s
hands
Hi
m:Metoo.OoooyouandIt
oget
herl
i
ket
he
ol
dday
s.Thetwohott
ies.
Il
aughsol
oudandhehugsmeagai
n.
Hi
m:Chomzagi v
emey ournumbersowecan
dol
unchtodaycausey
ouandIneedtocat
ch
uponever
ythi
ngwemi ssed.
Weexchangenumber sandhav el
ightchats
untilt
het ruckar r
ives.Thenewspaper sar
e
deli
veredandLaml arunsandgr abst wo.We
bothscanf orournumber sint henewspaper s
separately.MynumberpopsupandIt akea
hugegul pofai rbef or
eIread.Myey esar e
glassyfrom hol di
ngbackt ears.Iwipewi t
hmy
sl
eev eandst artreading.Al l
mysubj ectsare
wr i
tt
ent here.All9.Iscream andhugSazi .
Jumpi ngar oundandcr yi
ng.Laml aal so
screamsandhugsme.Wecr yandl aughand
actcr
azyal
ltoget
her
.Ipassedguys.Wi
th
di
sti
ncti
ons .Mama, canyouseeme?
[
10/
29,
19:
44]Wadz
:£15
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Iv
et r
iedcalli
ngThandot odaycauseherr esults
arecomi ngoutt omor rowandtri
edtowi shher
goodluckbutIguessshedoesntwantt ot alkto
me.Thi sweekhasbeenhect i
candinsteadof
goinghomef ortheweekend, Ihadtogot o
Nigeri
af orbusiness.Beautif
ulcountr
yImust
sayandYonel aenjoyedherself
.Yeahthat sright,
ItookYonel awi t
hmet oNigeri
abecauseI
wantedt omakei tupt oher
.Shemustf eel so
sadknowi ngI m marriedtosomeoneel sesoI
spoilherwithaf f
ecti
ont oremindherthatshe
hasmyhear t.Im beginni
ngtoreall
yloveher
becauseInol ongerfeelguil
tywhenIsayIl ov e
hertoo.
Notoncet
hisweek,
didi
tcrossmymi ndt
ocal
l
Kanyi
.Imr
eall
yabadhusbandtohershame
andIshoul
dgethersomet
hingt
oapol
ogi
se.

Mondaymor ni
ng,I
m backinSouthAfri
ca.
Yonelahasgonebackt oworkandIvedecided
totakethedayoff.Idr
ivebackhome,Iwantt o
surpri
semyf amil
yandThando.Iboughthera
beautif
uldiamondneckl
aceandmat ching
earri
ngs.Thecentrepi
eceisahugeemer ald
diamondt hatr
emindedmeofherey es.It
s
exquisi
teman.
Igethomeandf i
ndmysi ster
swashingdi
shes,
Simisjustsi
tt
ingandt
alking.Mom andDadare
cuddl
ingonthecouch.
Mama:
Heybaby
.
Tat
a:Hai
bo.Am Inoty
ourbaby
?
Ar
gtheset
wo.
Mamagi
ggl
es
Her
:Hay
impasubanomona(
dontbej
eal
ous)
!
Me:
Hipar
ent
s.Howar
eyou?
Tat
a:We'
regood.
Sazi
wal
ksi
n
Her:
Heybro.HowwasNi
ger
ia?Whatdi
dyou
br
ingme?
Shegi
vesmeasweetsmil
e.Buthowdoesshe
knowaboutNi
ger
?Idi
dntt
ellher
.
Me:
Dadr
eal
l
y?
Tat
a:What
?Shedi
dntheari
tfr
om me.
Her
:Itwasonsoci
almedi
awethu,
withyouand
Si
sYonelaatsomedi
nnerl
ooki
ngall
cosy.I
t
wascute.
Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!
Tatagi
vesmeonehel
lofal
ookandshakeshi
s
head.
Hi
m: Kany
isai
sinherr
oom.ButIt
hinkshes
pr
epari
ngtogoout.
Mama:
Sheshoul
d.Shesal
way
scooopedupi
n
t
hishousewi
thus.Sheneedssomeai
rshame.
Itur
nandl eavewhil
emypar entsaretal
ki
ng.Im
sonervoustogot otheroom.IfSaziknows
aboutNiger,t
henKanyiknows.Sazi
akanasi
fubakalok(
cantkeepthingstohersel
f)
.
IknockandIhearasof
tcomei
n.

Iopenandfi
ndhercombi
ngherhai
rinf
rontof
themir
ror
.
Me:
Hey
Her
:Hel
l
o.
Me:
Youl
ookni
ce.
Her
:Thanx.
Idontknowwhatt osay.If
eelsoguilt
yanddir
ty
standinghere,knowingver
ywellthatshesaw
meonsoci almediaandIdidntcal
lherthe
wholeweek.If eell
ikeIv
ebeencaughtwi t
ha
mi st
ress.Shi
t.
Me:
Igoty
ousomet
hing.
Her
:Oh?
Shesnotlooki
ngatmet heenti
retime.Igoov er
toherandhandthegif
tbagt oher.Shestops
whatshesdoing,wi
pesherhandswi thwet
wipesandopensthegif
t.Herfaceisblank,i
n
factsheal
mostlooksdisgust
ed.Yhosomuch
foreff
ort
.
Her
:uhm t
hanks,
butnot
hanks.
Shehandst
hegif
tbackt
omeandt
iesherhai
r
andcl
eansup.
Me:
Whynot
?
Her:
Notmyst y
le.Butt
hanksf
ort
het
hought
.
Youstay
ing?
Herwor
dsar
esocol
dandherey
esev
encol
der
Me:
No
Her
:okay
.Wel
l,
seeyouwheny
oudeci
det
o
r
ememberme.Got
tago.
Wit
ht hatshegr
absarat
herheav
ybag, and
l
eaves.Istandt
her
e,dumb.Whatjusthappened?

~Thando~
Thener veofMelisizwe.Tothinkhecanj ustbuy
mel i
kethat
.Rhaaauy andi
qhel a(hedoesntsee
me) !Fuckenhell
.Isaygoodby et otherentsand
kissSim onthecheek.Tatai nsist
sonme
takinghiscar,
abl ackGTIandmamaf orcesme
totaket hesever
al R200notest hatsheforci
bly
givesme
Her:Hayhayhay.Andi
funnova(Idontwantto
hearit
).Your
emydaughtertoosoImustt ake
careofyou.Enj
oyyour
selfandbesafemybaby .
Im soproudofyou.
Ismileandhugher .Isaluteutata(
ourt hi
ng
wethu)andleave.Thewhol ewayI m shaking
wit
hanger .Whatawayt ost ar
tmywonder ful
day,butIwontlethimr uinmyday .Myphone
buzzesanditsacal lf
rom Maki .Ianswerand
shescr
eamsandsingsandul
ulat
es.Makihas
mynumbersoshecancheckmei nthepaper
s.
Aft
erawhil
eshedecidest
ospeak,
Her:Congratul
ati
onsmybaby .OhhowIwish
umamakhowoul dseealloft
his.Youar
eagem
tobehold.Ihopeyourhubbyspoil
syourot
ten.
Thatlastpartcl
enchesmyhear tandmor ethan
anythi
ng,makesmeangr y.Itl
eav
esabitter
tastei
nmymout h.Husband?Mxm.Mel isizwe
i
sany thi
ngbutahusbandt ome.Makade
atshate(
hemustmar ry)uYonelasoal
lthis
sneakingaroundcanstop.
Me:ThankyouMaki .Im sur
emamasproudof
myresult
s.Youandherwer etheonl
ypeopl
e
whokeptmemot ivatedtodobett
erandbe
more.Thankyou.
Her:I
tsapl
easur
emyl
ove.Anuy
hingand
ever
ythi
ngf
oryou.
Me:
Iknow.That
swhyIl
ovey
ou.
Myvoicechokesonthelastl
i
neasIhol
dback
mytears.I
m emoti
onal
lycrumbl
i
ngatafast
r
ateandIcantcont
roli
t.
Her
:Youdontsoundokay
.What
swr
ong?
Me:
Not
hingmama.Idontwantt
otal
kabouti
t.
Her
:Wel
lcal
lmewheny
oudo.Il
ovey
ouby
e.
Me:
Bye.
Ihangupandl
ookf
orpar
kingatt
hepacked
parki
ngl
ot.

Lamlai salr
eadyseat edatthecof f
epl aceandI
walkupt ohim.Ivechangedmyat t
irei nthe
bathroom tojeansandanof fshouldershi rtand
pumps.I veti
edmyhai ri
ntoahi ghbunand
wearingloopear r
ingsandmar oonlipstick.Im
sohot .Myr i
ng?Imt emptedt otakei toffand
putitinmypur se.KalokuwhenMel isizwe
handedmet hegift,t
herewasnor i
ngonhi s
fi
ngersocl earl
y,hedoesntcar eany mor eso
whyshoul
dInott
aket
hisr
ingof
f?
Anyway ,
wesitandtalkforawhil
ewi t
hLamla.
Het el
l
smeabouthi sboy f
ri
endMar kandwe
takealotofsel
fi
es.Guys,youknowhow
I
phonescamer aistheshit
?Yhofam.Iwasso
gorgeousonthatphonescameray eer!Some
magazinetypeshit
.
Hi
m:Howi
smar
ri
age?
Ij
ustsi
ghandshr
ug
Me:
Idr
atherwi
shIwasnt
.
Hi
m:Why
?Isi
thor
ri
ble?
Me: Noi t
snotthat
.Justitwoul
dbesoni cet
o
experiencewhatfr
ee-f
all
ingl
oveislikey
ou
know?Somet hi
ngthatsnotf
orced.Bea
teenagermanandenj oyli
fe,
notsomeone
strangerswif
e.
Ismi
l
eatLaml
aandhehugsme
Hi
m:I
m sor
rybabe.
Me:
Itsokay
.At
leasthi
smom i
sni
cet
omeso.
..
Henodsandwewal kar oundsomemor e.We
sett
leforSpurl iket heoldtimesandeat .After,
hetakesmet oShi manskyJewel l
er swherehe
buysmeabeaut i
ful si
mplenecklace.Wear gue
becauseIdontwanti t
,it
saroundR3000buthe
buysitany wayandf or
cesmet oweari t.It
sso
gorgeousagai nstmyneck.Lat er,wegot ot able
mount ainandhav eagl assatther est
uarant
there,
ov erlookingt hewhol ecit
y.Laml areally
knowshowt ospoi lsomeone.Iwi shMel i
sizwe
couldbel ikethi stoo.Ha!Whoam Iki dding?Im
surehei sl i
ket hiswi thhistr
uelove.Fuckwhy
didheagr eet ot his?Ineedt odigandf indout
soIcanwor m my selfoutofthi
spat heti
c,
embar rassingmar r
iage.

Aft
eralongday,
Igethomeandtakeamuch
neededrel
axi
ngbat
h.Laml
aandIare
whatsappi
ngnonst
opandlaughi
ng.Dur
ing
di
nner,Im weari
ngLamlasneckl ace.Hegotus
ahisandhert y
peofthing.IcanseeMel isi
zwe
i
sfumi ngandgivingmenast ylooksbutIcoul
d
notgi
v etwofucks.Aft
erdinner,Iwashthe
di
shesandgot other
oom wher eIfi
nd
Meli
sizwepacing.Hethrowst heempt y
j
ewell
er yboxathim
Hi
m:Whati
sthi
s?
Me:
(cal
mly
)aneckl
ace.
Hi
m:Sowenay ougoaroundaccept
inggif
ts
f
rom st
ranger
s?Didyourboyf
riendbuyyouthat
?
Hei
sroar
ingwi
thangerandI
m cool
.
Me:No, mybestfr
iendLamlaboughtmet his.
AndIaccepteditbecauseheboughtthi
sf orme
outofthegoodnessofhisheartandnotasan
aft
erthoughtorawayt osoot
hehi sgui
l
ty
consci
ounce.
Wit
hthatbeingsai
d,Iwal
kofft
otheclosetand
hesl
amst hedoorasheleav
es.Rha!Whothe
f
uckdoeshet
hinkhei
s?
[
10/
29,
19:
45]Wadz
:£16
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Imfumingwi
thr
age.I
mli
ter
all
yshaki
ngwi
th
anger
.
Mama:
What
swr
ongbaby
?Youl
ooksomad.
Tat
a:Mxm.What
everi
tis,
hehasnor
easont
o
besuka.
Igi
vedadadeat
hst
are.
Me:
Imf
inema.Seey
oul
ater
,Im goi
ngout
.
Tata:
Thereyougoagai n.Mkm Iwonderhow
Kanyi
samustf eelknowingherhusbandi
snot
eventr
ying.Mkm umntwanomnt u.
Withthatbei
ngsai d,
hewal ksoutandheads
upstai
rs.I
sit'
pissMel i
sizweoff
'daytoday?
Yeman!Igosi tnexttomaandl ayonherlap.
Sheplayswithmyhai r,
itfeel
sgood.
Her
:Mel
i
?
Me:
Ma?
Her
:Whyar
eyout
reat
ingKany
ili
ket
his?
Me:
li
kehow?
Her
:Li
kesomef
loozywi
thnoemot
ion?
Iat
temptt
omov
ebutshehol
dsmyheadf
ir
mly
.
Her:I
veseenhowdist
raughtshewasthisweek
andIknowthatmustbeyourdoing.Di
dyoucal
l
heratal
l?
Me:
No.
Her
:Why
?.
Me:
Ivebeenbusy
.
Shel
i
ftsmyheadandIsi
tupst
rai
ght
.
Her:Evendur i
ngthenight?Sobusyy oucant
evenaskhowshei s?Youdor eali
sethatshes
youngandunl ikeyou,t
hebesty ear
sofherlif
e
havebeent akenfrom her
?Mel i
sizwekuthen
umphet hikanj
eumnt wanawabant u(whyare
youtreati
ngKany il
ikethi
s)?Shestryi
ngand
you?Busygoingonromant i
cget-
awayswi t
h
Yonel
awhileshesitsandsuffer
sinsi
lence?
SHEDOESNTDESERVETHI SFROM YOU.St op
puni
shingherfory
ourfathersdoi
ngs.
Withthatsai
dshest andsandleav
es.Dad
comesdownst ai
rsinhisdrscoatandbri
efcase.
Guesshe'sbeencall
edi n.Kal
okuutat
aisa
pediatr
ici
anandalsosomet i
mes,deli
ver
stoo.
Kany i
comesintothelounge.
Kany
i:Tat
a,cany
oupl
easedr
opmeof
f?
Tat
a:Youcanusethecarnj
e.I
mrunni
ngl
ate
mydarl
ingsor
ry.
Shesmi
l
es
Her
:It
sokay
.Thanky
ou.
Dadr
ushesof
ftot
heki
tchen
Me:
Wher
eyouheaded?
Her
:Gy
m.
Oh?
Me:
oh.
Shegi
vesmeaf
akesmi
l
eandl
eav
es.

Im si
tt
ingatt
hedinnert
abl
eopposi
teKany
iand
shesnotevenlooki
ngatme.
Mama:
Kany
iandMel
i
?
Webot
htur
ntol
ookather
Mama:
Myof
fi
ceaf
terdi
nner
.
Us:
Okayma.
Si
m:ooooo!I
yhuuuwi
!Al
aladudu!
Shesay
sthatshaki
ngherhand.Weal
ll
augh.
Mxm cr
azychi
ld.
Af
terdi
nner
,wegot
omomsst
udy
.
Shesi
tsandwest
and.
Her
:What
sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
out
wo?
Kany
iandIbot
hsaynot
hing.
Her
:Ndi
yat
het
ha(
Imt
alki
ngt
oyou)
!Mel
i
sizwe,
wher
eisy
ourweddi
ngr
ing?
Fuck!I
tsi
nmycar
.Howcoul
dIbesost
upi
d.
Me:
Inmycar
.
Her
:Whyisi
tnotinyourf
inger
?IsKany
i
marr
iedt
oyourcar?
Ishakemyhead.
Her
:andy
ouKany
isa?What
sgoi
ngon?
Kany
isa:
Not
hingma.
Her:Tel
lmethetr
uthKany
isa.Whyhav
enty
ou
spokentoMeli
thi
sweek?
Kanyi
sa: BecauseIrespectmy sel
fenoughto
knowwhenI m notwanted.Iknowt hatuBhuti
spendshisev eni
ngswi t
huYonel asoIrespect
hispri
vacy.
Mama:
Buty
ou'
rehi
swi
fe.
Kanyi
:Wit
hallduerespectmama,thatsall
Iam
andwil
leverbe.UYonelahasBhut
i'
sheartand
soul
.HowcouldIev ercompet
ewiththat?And
whywoul
dI?Knowi
ngv
erywel
lIl
ll
osei
nthe
end.
Myheartbr
eakswhenIheart
hosewor
dsf
rom
her
.Yho.
Mama:Kanyi
sa,
pleasel
eav
eus.Iwantt
otal
k
t
oMeli
sizwe.
Shenodsandl
eav
es.
Mama: Meli
sizwe,mntanam.Whathappenedto
you?Whendidoubecomet hiscoldper
sonhe?
I
fy oudontf
ixthi
swithThando, youwil
lnev
er
mar r
yYonel
aI mtel
li
ngy ou.Nowgetout.

I
ntheroom,myheadi
sf i
l
ledwi
thal
lthat
Thandosai
dint
heoff
ice.
Me:Whatdi
dyoumeanwheny
ousai
dthat
sal
l
you'
l
lev
erbe?
Shet
urnst
ofacemeandf
rowns
Her
:Par
don?
Me:Whatdi
dyoumeanwheny
ousai
dthatt
he
onl
yper
sonyou'
l
lev
erbei
smywif
e?
Her:Imeantthatyou'
llnev
erlovemeoreven
pret
endto.You'l
lnevercaref
ormeorev ent
ry.
Ifi
tsnotyourparent
sforci
ngy ou,
theny
oudont
evenbother
.
Me:
Whatmakesy
out
hinkt
hat
?
Her:Youract
ions.Theysi
ngadi
ff
erentt
unet
o
yourwords.
Me:
Thando.I
m sor
ry.
..
Her
:Pl
easejustdont
.Justst
opwithyour
meani
ngl
essapologi
esBhuti
.Theydomore
har
mthangood.
Me:
Thenhowam Igoi
ngt
ofi
xthi
s?Us?
Her
:Idontknow.Goodni
ght
.Imr
eal
l
yti
red.
Shet
urnsov
erandsl
eeps
I
mleftinmythought
sastohowI m goi
ngto
makethisbet
ter
.Makeuswork.Notbecauseof
mom say i
ngthatIwontmar
ryYonel
aifIdont
,
butbecauseThandodoesdeser
vebett
erthan
whatIm off
eri
ngher.

~Thando~
Iwakeupal oneinbed.ItsTuesdayso
Melisi
zwemust vegonebackt owor k.Igo
thr
oughmydai lyrouti
neandgooutt othe
kit
chen.Mamai salreadyupwear i
ngshortsand
acasualtop.Welleveryonei
s.Ifeeloutofpl
ace.
Mama:
Mor
ningbabyf
ace.
Ibl
ush
Me:
Mol
weni
ma.
Her
:Hay i
gochangeyounotgoingoutl
iket
hat
.
Andtakethatdoekof
f.Imi
ssyourhai
r.
Ismileandgot omyr oom.Igeti
nandl ookfor
myshor ts.Theyrenott
ooshort
.Justabovethe
kneeandashi r
tthatsl
i
ghtl
yshowsoffmy
assests.Icombmyhai randwearloops.Iwear
mywhit
echucksandl
oopear
ri
ngs.It
akeahai
r
t
iewi
thmeandgoout.
Si
phe:Yhui
nwel
eezi
ngakababes(
somuchhai
r
babes)
Ismi
l
e
Me:
Mol
weni
.
Si
sNomsaandSi
sOl
wet
hul
ookatmeand
gasp
Them:
Suchf
lamesbabes.
Weal
llaughandBhutLangaandt
het
wins
gr
eet
.Igreetandgot
akeSim.
Me:
Hibooboo.What
swr
ong?
Shepoutsandburiesherheadonmyshoul
der
andcri
es.Othersmallki
dscomethr
oughand
Imint
roducedtothem.
It
akeSi
m upst
air
sandgot
oherr
oom
Me:
What
swr
ongpr
incess?
Her
:Mommydoesntwantmet
owearmyboot
s.
Me:
Buti
tshotnj
ena
Her
:Noi
tsnot
.
Me:
comeI
llt
alkt
omommyf
ory
ouokay
?
Shenodsandwi peshertearsaway.Igetout
herpinksandalsandshewear st
hem.WhenI
gobackdown, Meli
sizweisstandi
ngthere
l
ookingtoogoodi nhi sj
eanshortsandnavy
vest
.Hisshirthugshi smusclessogorgeousl
y,
yummy !
Si
m asksmet oputherdownandIdo.
Meli
sizweexcusesusandtakesusoutt
othe
poolarea.

Hi
m:Youl
ookgood.
Me:
Sodoy
ou.
Hi
m:Congrats.Mom showedmey oursy
mbol
s.
9di
sti
nct
ions?That
si ncr
edi
ble.
Ibl
ush
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Hetakesmyhandandleadsmearoundt
he
house.Ther
esaAudi
SUVwi thabi
gredbowon
i
t.Hehandsmeasmal lbox
Hi
m:Congr
ats.
I
m shocked.Woah!I
sthi
scarf
orme?
Iscr
eam andcl
apandj
umpi
nonepl
ace.
Hi
m:CanIgetahugat
least
?
Ipracti
call
yjumponhi m andgivehim ahuge
hugandwr apmylegsar oundhiswaist.He
chucklesinmyear.Imov efr
om hisshoulderto
hi
sl i
ps.Theyaresosof tandsucculentdamn.
Weki ssforaverylongtime.Slowlyand
passionatel
y,t
asti
ngeachot herintheprocess.
"Eeeeeeuw!"Igi
gglei
nMelisi
zwesmout
hand
pullaway.Isuddenl
yfeel
shy.
Iunwrapmyl egsfr
om him andst
epdown.
Guy s,
Mel i
sizweisawholeheadandshoul
der
tal
lerthanme.Any way
, heholdsmeand
whi
sper
sinmyear
Hi
m:Dontmov
e.Orwe'
l
lscar
etheki
ds.
It
urnt
ofi
ndhi
sdi
ckhar
donhi
sleg.Shi
t.
Hi
m:Thi
sisal
lyourdoi
ng.
Igi
ggleandhepull
smeclosertohi
m.Myback
tohi
m.Ev er
yonecomesaroundandwedr
ive
out.

Weal lhaveaspl endi

ddayatt hepar khav inga
pi
cnictogether.Thenweal lheadoutt othe
beach.Sazigivesmeabi kinitochangei n.
Everyoneiswear ingbeachat t
ire.SisNomsa
gi
vesmeanext r
asar ongtowr apar oundmy
waistandSipheshadest owear .Iti
enyhai rup
andIlooksocut e.Wealltakepi cs.Mel i
sizwei s
withhisbrothersinthecarschat ti
ngand
dri
nking.Hedoesntwantt ogoi ntot hewat er
withus.
Hi
m:Youl
ookhel
l
afi
nei
nthi
s.Yhobabydamn!
Comel
etsgo.
Het akesmyhandandwegeti ntohiscarand
dri
veof f.Westopatt hisluxurioushot elandhe
carri
esmei n.Imagine!Hesay sI mlighterthan
beforeandi t
sbecauseofal lthestresshes
beenput ti
ngmet hrough.Hef eelsbadand
want stomakei tuptome.Any way ,weget
i
nsidet hepresi
denti
al suiteupst ai
rsandhe
carri
esmei nf r
om theel evator.
Me:
Wowt
hisi
ssobeaut
if
ul.Yho.
Iwal
kar
oundandhesonmyt
ail
.
Hi
m:Idi
dntbr
ingy
ouher
etol
ookatt
hev
iew.
Me:
Thenwhydi
dyoubr
ingmeher
e?
Isaywi
thmyhandsonmyhi
ps.
Hi
m:Fort
his.
..
Hecomescl oserandkissesmewhil
ehishands
takeoffmybiki
nitopandhisfi
nger
sfindmy
cooch.Igr
oanandpr essmyboobsonhi s
chest.
..
Aft
ertheheavyl
ovemaki
ng,
wel
ayont
hef
loor
.
Ist
artgi
ggli
ng.
Hi
m:What
ssof
unny
?
Me:
Not
hing.
Heresthethingsnhe?Iknowy ouguy st hink
thatI
m givi
ngmy sel
ftooeasytoMel isizwebut
thetr
uthis,Ilov
ehi m.Withal
lthatIam.Iknow
i
tsaone-sidedlov eandhemaynotf eel t
he
sameaboutme, butIcanthel
pi t.Hehasmy
heart
,mybodyandsoul .Howst upidright?
[
10/
29,
19:
46]Wadz
:£17
☆4mont
hlat
er.
.☆
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thepastmont hshavebeensplendi dwit
h
Thando.Wehav egoneoncount lessdates,t
o
themov i
es,
fl
ight
st oJoburganddi nneri
n
rest
uarant
s.Isti
llhav
entsaidIlovehertoo
becauseIm notsureifIdo.DoIhav estr
ong,
unexplainablefeelingsforhert hatseem t o
growdai ly
?Yes.YesIdo.Butt otellherwould
seem abi tfarfetched.Andbesi des,Ilove
Yonelasomuch.Yest erday,Iwentshoppi ngfor
engagementr i
ngsbecauseI m goi ngtopr opose
toYonel atonight.Iwantust ogetmar ri
edsoon
soallthissneakingar oundbet weenuscan
stop.Ihatemaki ngherf eell
ikemymi str
ess
becauseshesnot .Todaymar ksour1y ear
anniversaryandIm bey ondner vous.Ther esa
knockonmydoorandIt ell
theper sont oenter.
ThedooropensandYonel acomesi
n.Looki
ng
al
l sexyinherj
eansandt opwit
hheel
s.Shehas
braidsinherhai
rthati
stiedupinabun.She
l
ooksl i
keshesbeencrying.Ist
andupandgoto
her
Me:
Heybabywhat
swr
ong?
Shethr
owsherar
msaroundmeandlay
sher
headonmyshoul
der
.Im begi
nni
ngt
oworr
y.
Me:
Pleasebaby
,youmaki
ngmewor
ry.
Theresaknock,andStuar
tcomesi
nwit
hout
wait
ingforananswer.Behi
ndhi
misThando.
Fuck!Howawkwar d.
St
uar
t:I
llcomebackl
ater
.
Thandojustst
andst
urnsandwal
ksaway
.
Fuck.
..whatdoIdonow?

Aft
ersomet i
me,Yonel
apull
sawayandsmiles
atme.Sheopensherpurseandpull
ssome
small
pict
ure-
li
kecardoutandhandsitt
ome
Me:
Uhm.
..whatam Il
ooki
ngat
?
Her
:Yourchi
l
d.I
m pr
egnant
.
Igaspandl ookather,
thenthecar
d,t
henher
again.Iscream andpi
ckherupandspinher
around.Shesgiggli
ngsosweetl
y.WhenIput
herdown, Igiv
eheronehellofasmooch.She
pull
saway
Her
:Younotmad?
Me:
Whywoul
dIbe?
Her:Youknow.Consi
der
ingt
hef
actt
hati
m not
yourwif
e.
Me:
Inmyhear
t,y
ouwer
eal
way
smywi
fe.
Shesmi
l
esandat
earf
all
sdownherf
ace.
Me:
Howf
aral
ongar
eyou?
Her
:3mont
hs.
I
m shocked
Her:Idi
dntknowbaby
.Justf
oundoutacoupl
e
minutesago.
Me:Doesntmat
ter
.Al
lthatmat
ter
sist
hatwe
knownow.
Iki
sshersopassionately
.Shepullsawayand
saysshesgottogobackt oworkbutwi l
lsee
met oni
ght.Assoonasshel eav
es,if
indmy sel
f
dancingandjumpingaroundmyr oom.Ohmy
gosh,Im goi
ngtobeadad.
~Thando~
AfterseeingMelisi
zwewithYonelaembraci
ng
l
ikethat,myhear tj
usttor
eoutofitssocket
.My
eyesar eburni
ngf r
om cry
ingandIcanhardly
seet heroad.ButbyGrace,Igett
omy
apartmentandcr yi
ngmyhear touti
nbed.Icry
untilIf
allasl
eep.
WhenIwakeup, Ihav eaheadspl it
ti
ng
headacheandi tl
ooksdar koutside.Imt ootir
ed
andemot i
onall
ywr eckedtocooksoI llgoget
RomansPi zza.Igetoutofbedandl ookatt he
ti
me, i
tsalmost7pm andnomi ssedcallsfr
om
Meli.Clearl
yIm notimpor tant
.Igrabmycar
keysandgo.If i
ndmy sel
fdriv
ingt o
Summer st
randt omeandMel i
shouse.Yeahwe
ki
ndofl ivetogether,bythatImean, duringthe
weekendsi fIdonthav ecl
ass.Dur i
ngweekday s,
Istayatanapar t
menti nStell
enboschbecause
i
tsawast eofpet r
olandt i
meconsumi ngt o
dri
vef r
om St r
andev erydaytoSt el
lenbosch.
Igett ot hehouseandf i
ndt hatitsabi tdar k
i
nsi de.Igoi nandIf i
ndr osepet alsscat teredall
ov erthef loorleadi ngsomewher e.If oll
owt he
trail
, t
ot heout sidear ea.Thr ought hesliding
door ,IseeMel isizweononekneewi thar ingin
hand.Ohmygosh.Ther ei sv i
oli
nspl ayi
ngand
l
ittlefairylightsshi ni
ngal laround.I t
sadr eam
thatIcannev ergett olive.Luckily,hedoesnt
seemesoIt urnonmyheel andrunout ,
slammi ngt hef rontdoorbehi ndme.Ist artmy
engi neanddr i
veoutasf astasIcan.I m
uncont rollablysobbi ng.Thi sisit
.Thi sist he
endoft hebegi nning.Igett omyapar t
mentand
call Eri
n, mynewbestf riend.
Her
:Hel
l
o
Me:
CanIcomeov
er.Pl
ease.
Her
:Nopr
obl
em
Me:
Pleasepi
ckmeup.I
minnost
atet
odr
ive.
Her
:Bet
her
enow.
Isitinmycarandcont i
nuesobbi ngand
screaming.Ikbewt hatthiswasgoi ngt o
happenbutIdi dntthi
nkitwoul dhur tt
hisbad.I
thoughtmeandMel i
wer efinallypr ogressing
forwardasamar r
iedcoupl e.Buti twasal la
facadet ocoveruphisreal intention.Mel ihas
nev erl
ovedmeandt odaypr ovesi tall
.Iwai l
harder.Theresaknockonmywi ndowandIf i
nd
Erinstandi
ngt her
elookingsosad.Icl imbout
andf al
lint
oherar ms.
Her
:What
swr
ong?
Ishakemyheadandsaynot
hing.

Atherhouse,Eri
ngiv
esmepi
zzaandwings.
ButIwantmor e,
sowegotoKFCandget
dunkedwingsandicecr
eam.
Her
:Babey
oust
il
ldontwantt
otal
kabouti
t?
Me:
Myhusbandi
smar
ryi
ngt
hel
oveofhi
sli
fe.
AndI
llsoonbet
ossedasi
del
i
ket
rash.
Isayt
hatwi
thnoemot
ionwhat
soev
er.
Er
in:
Donty
ouhav
easayi
nal
loft
his?
Ishakemyheadno.
Er
in:
BabeI
m sosor
ry.I
sther
esomet
hingIcan
do
Me: CanIhi
deoutherewit
hyouforthenext
coupleofdays?Ipr
omisetocont
ri
butetowar
ds
rentandpetr
ol.
Shel
aughs
Her
: Nopr
obl
em.Butnot
other
entandy
est
o
pet
rol.
Ismileatherandweendupwat chi
ngamov ie
together
.Webot hdonthav eclassthenextday
sowechi llandgot othemal landwat cha
mov i
e.Ifeelsosickasofl ate.IfIdontvomit
,I
feelnauseousthewhol edayandkakt ir
edtoo.
Erinhasbeenhi nti
ngIdoapr egnancytestbut
Ivebeenbrushingherof f
.
Butt
odayIthi
nkI
m goi
ngt
ogo.I
m notf
eel
i
ng
anybet
ter
.
Me:
Let
sgot
othegy
nae.I
m notf
eel
i
nggood.
Her
:Yes.
WegotothedocandIpeei
nacupandhe
dr
awssomeblood.
Hi
m:Wel
lcongr
atul
ati
ons.Your
epr
egnant
.
I
m numb.Dumb!Fuck!
Me:
Howl
ong?
Hi
m:Laydownandl
etscheck.
Wecheckandi
tconcl
udes9weeks.St
il
lear
ly.
That
stwomonthsri
ght
?
Er
ini
sov
ert
hemoonandI
mjustsi
l
ent
.Si
gh.

IstaycampedatEr i
nshouseandMel ii
scalli
ng
nonst op.Idontansweratall
andhesl eft
count l
esssms' aski
ngwhereIam andt hathes
wor r
ied.Psht,
please!Worr
iedmyleftass.On
Thursday,Itexthimtell
inghimi fhewant sto
seemehe' llfi
ndmeathi sparenspl aceon
Fri
dayev eni
ng.Mondayi stestweekandI m
mor ethanprepared.Iv
ebeenst udyingmyass
offsoImj ustgoingtoseet hepar entsonFri
day
andcomebackSat ur
dayev eningsoIcanbr ush
uponmywor konSunday .AndalsoIwantt o
breakthenewst oever
yone.
ThedrivetoCapeTownf rom Stelli
esislong
andstrai
nuousonme, y ho.Igethomet of i
nda
l
otofcar spar
kedoutsideexceptf orMelisizwes.
WhenIopent hedoor,Sazi att
acksmewi tha
hug.Sim comestomescr eami ngandIpi ckher
upandspi nherar
ound.Igr eetev eryonewhos
here,
whi chi
sMelisbrothers,theirwivesand
ki
ds.Igreetever
yoneandhel pouti nthe
ki
tchen
Siphe:
Yousoy el
l
ow.Stel
l
iesi
kuphet
hi
kakuhl
e(St
ell
i
esagreeswithy
ou)
Ibl
ush
Me:
Enkosi
.
Ol
wet
hu:
Younotpr
eggi
es?
Ilaughandshakemyhead.I
m notr
eadyt
otel
l
them maybeoverdi
nner
?
Nomsa:
Mmmmm!
!We'
l
lseeaboutt
hat
Me:
Yeswe'
l
lsee.
Ohgosht
heycanseer
ightt
hroughme.

Afterawhil
e,Meliwalksinhand-i
n-handwi
th
Yonela.Myheartsi
nksr i
ghtther
eandI m
tongueti
ed.TheygreeteveryoneandYonel
a
greetsme
Her
:Heysi
ster
-wi
fe.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Her
:Yougood?
Me:
Wel
lthanky
ouandy
our
sel
f?
Her
:Im good.
Me:Congr
atul
ati
ons.Iknowhowmuchy
oul
ove
eachot
her
.
Alleyesar
eonusandI m ascool
asa
cucumber.Ift
heyexpectdr
amafrom me,
then
sorrytodi
sappoi
nt.
Her
:Thanky
ou.
Shewi
nksandsmil
esatme.I
tsadev
ioussmi
l
e
andmi
neisgenui
ne.
Weal lsitandeatduringdi
nner.Conversationis
fl
owingandI m qui
et.Myheartisinmymout h
andmysoul hangi
ngbyat hr
ead.Myt hought s
aredisturbedbyMel i
sizwecli
nkingagl ass.He
ri
sesandal l
ourattenti
ontur
nst ohi
m.
Hi
m:Thanky
ouev
ery
onef
orcomi
ng.
..
Ituneoutforabi
twethu,
athi
slongassspeech
butmyat t
enti
oncat
chesonagain
Him:Im heart
oannouncemyengagementt o
YonelaKhesaandalsobri
ngtoyouratt
enti
on
thatwe'
llbeexpect
ingourf
ir
stchi
ldtoget
her.
Ifeelai
rleavemybodyandcomebackl i
kea
tonofbrickstomychest .Icanfeelthetears
comingbutIhal tthem intheirt
racks.Siphe,
OlwethuandNomsasey esareonmebutI
choosetor emaincool .Theresquietforabit
andthencongr atulat
ionsflowaround.Si m
comesandsi tsonmyl apandlaysonmychest .
Itel
lhertogot ohermom qui ckl
yIneedt he
bathr
oom.Sheobl iges.
Me:
Congr
atul
ati
ons,
uhm,
excuseme.
Idontwaitfort
heirrepl
i
esasIgetup, gr
abmy
purseonthekit
chencount erandgogetinmy
caranddriveof
f.IseeMelisizweandhisfat
her
i
nt herear
viewmirrorasIdriveaway
.

Im parkedatthebeachandIsitneart hesand.
Im alonehereandIletmyemot ionsout.I
scream outinfr
ustr
ationandjustsinktothe
fl
oor.Tata,whyhavey oudonethistome?
[
10/
29,
19:
47]Wadz
:£18
~Thando~
Aftercr y
ingforsomet ime,Ifi
nal
lygather
my selfupandgogetsomei cecream.My
phonehasal otofmissedcall
sandmessages
askingwher eIam?IgetSazi andSim some
chocol ates,
chips,j
uiceandairt
imeforSaziand
dri
v ebackhome.Igeti nsi
deandf i
ndthecars
sti
llthere.IopenandSi mjumpsonme
Her
:Wher
ewer
eyou?Whydi
dyoul
eav
eme?
Me:Ineededsomespaceangel
.ButIm al
l
your
snow.Youcansleepwit
hmet oni
ghtnhe?
Shesmi
l
esandnods.Icar
ryheri
ntot
hel
ounge.
Mama:
Thando,
pleasesi
t
Me:
Nomama,
Imt
ir
ed.Ij
ustwantt
orest
.
Yonel
aandMeli
sizwear
eseat
edlooki
ngatme
andIwal
koutwit
hSim onmyhip.
Wegot omyr oom andwebat
htogether
.Shes
spl
ashingandtel
l
ingmeaboutcrechandIm
l
aughing.
Her
:Nextweeki
smybi
rt
hday
,ar
eyoucomi
ng?
Me:Ofcour
sebaby
.Woul
dntmi
ssi
tfort
he
wor
ld
Her
:Whaty
ougoi
ngt
ogetme?
Il
augh
Me:
Itsasupr
isekal
oku.
Her
:Oh.
Me:Youget
ti
ngol
dernow.HeyIgotyou
somethi
ngi
nmycar.Let
sgofet
chit.
Her
:Wi
l
lyoucar
ryme?
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Okay
.
Iwearagownandcovermyheadwit
hadoek.
Meliwalksi
nwhi
leI
m busydr
essi
ngSim and
l
aughingwit
hher
.
Him:I
m goi
ngt
odr
opof
fYonel
athencome
back.
Me:
Oh.
Hi
m:Weneedt
otal
k
Me:Idontt
hinkther
esanythi
ngleftt
osay
.Your
act
ionshav
ealreadyspokenforyou.
Heshakeshi
sheadandt
urnst
oleav
e.
Si
m:Doest
hismeanIcantsl
eepher
e?
Me:
Ofcour
sey
oucan.
Ipi
nchhercheeksandwegoout
.Sheinsi
stedI
wraponeofmydoeksonhersoIhav
eandwe
l
ookli
kemom anddaughter
.Howcute.
Wegooutandf i
ndumamasay inggoodbyeto
everyoneandImjustmute.Imov emycar
becauseIvebl
ockedBhutKamv aandparkat
thefarend.Si
mi swit
hme.It akeoutthe
plast
icandwegoi ntoget
her.Sazi i
ssoquiet
andsoi sSuzi
.Igiv
ethem botht hei
rai
rt
imes
andgot obed.
InthemiddleofthenightIm wokenupbya
sharppain,
Meli i
snotinbedwi thme,j
ustSi
m.
Atfir
stIi
gnoreit,butt
hereitisagai
n.Thi
sti
me
muchst r
onger,Ifi
ndmy sel
fscream.
Me:
Sim!Si
m!Si
m!
Her
:hmmm?
Me:
Babypl
easewakeup.
Sheopensherey
esandIatt
emptt
ogetupbut
i
tstoopai
nful
.Ir
eachbehi
ndmeandswit
chon
thel
amp.
Me:Gocallmommybaby
!Qui
ckl
ySi
m..
aaaaah!
!!
Iscr
eam i
nagony.Yhonowthatwasahuge
oneandifeelmypant
sarewet.Itouchand
whenIret
riev
emyhandther
esbl ood.
Si
mi sshocked.Oht
hisi
sgoi
ngtoscarherf
or
l
if
e.Shegetsupandshetooi
stai
ntedwit
h
bl
ood.Ohno.
Sher
unsupst
air
stohermomsr
oom andIcan
hearhershouthermomsname.Hermom
screamswhensheseesher.Pr
obabl
ythi
nks
thebloodi
shersbutSi
misshouti
ngmyname.
Her:
NoMommy !
!!I
tsnotme.I
tsSi
si
!Daddy
wakeup!
!!Daddy
!
Simisaver
ydemandi
ngchi
ld.Shecanscr
eam
thi
shousedowni
fshehast
o.

Mydoorburst
sopenandmamaandtatabar
ge
i
n.Iopent
hesheetsandmamagaspssodoes
ut
ata.
Me:Tatapl
easehel
pme.Mamandi
yani
cel
a(I
m
beggi
ngyou).
Mamast
art
stocr
yandt
atal
i
ftsmeup.
Tata:Uphi
lomnqunduunguMel
i
sizwe(
wher
es
thatf
ucker,
Meli
sizwe)
?
Me:
Akabuy
anga(
hedi
dntcomeback)
.
I
m cr
yingsomuchIcanthel
pmy
sel
f.Mamai
s
i
nthebackbesi
demebr
ushi
ngmyhai
rand
hol
dingmyhand.
Me:Iwant
edt
otel
lyou.Ir
eal
l
ydi
dMama.But
..
.
but
..
.
Tat
a:I
tsokay
.It
snoty
ourf
aul
t.Mamai
scr
ying
Her
:Im sosor
ryThandokazi.Ifai
l
edyou.I
m
sor
rybabychi
ld.Pl
easeforgiveme.For
giv
eme.
Wegettothehospi
talandi
mtakent
o
emer
gencyimmediatel
y.
Aft
erawhi l
e,t
hedrconfi
rmsthatImiscar
ri
ed
andIm cl
eanedupaft
er.Itur
noverandrol
l
mysel
fintoaball
andjustballmysel
ftosl
eep.

Iwakeupwit
hMel i
sizwesv
oicebr
ushi
ngmy
hai
randapol
ogi
sing
Him:Thando,pl
easefor
giveme.Inev ermeant
foral
loft
histoenduplikethis.I
m sorr
yfor
bri
ngi
ngy oupai
nliket
his.Please.
..
Itur
nandIm ey
etoeyewit
hhim.Hiseyesar
e
redandhel
ooksli
kehesbeencr
ying.
Me:
Leav
e!
Hest
akenaback.Hedi
dntexpectt
hisf
rom me.
Hi
m:Thandopl
easedont
..
Me:Melisi
zweMv el
ase,getout.Haventyou
doneenough?Whatmor edoy ouwant ?Mysoul?
Takeit
.Youvealreadydestroyedmyhear tand
tr
ampedal l
overit.NowIsayi tagai
n,leaveand
gotoyourpreci
ousYonel aandgol i
vey our
happyeveraft
er.Kakade,whyar eyouhere?He?
Justgo.Now!
Hesighsandwi pesawayaf
all
ingtearand
walksaway.Umamawal ksi
nandI mjustnumb.
Inolongerhav
et heener
gyt
ocr yanymore.I
m
drai
ned.Shehugsmeandcriesonmyshoul der
.
Her
:Im sur
eyouhat
eme.
Me:Icoul
dnever.Eveni
fyout
hrewmet
othe
dogs,
Idsti
ll
neverhatey
ou.
Her
:Im sor
ry.I
m sosor
ry.
I
m beyondhel
pless.I
velostmyfi
rstbaby
.I
wonderwhati
tcould'
vebeen.Maybeitwoul
d'
ve
beenababyboyorgirl
.

Im dischargedthef ollowingdayandI m
dreadinggoi ngbackt othehouse.Whent he
gateopens, therear eaf l
oodofcar s.Fuck!Is
nothingsecr et
iveint hisfami l
y?Istepoutoft he
car,sti
lli
nabi tofpai nbuti tsnotsomet hing
thatIcanthandl e.Iwal kslowl yt
ot hehouse,
dreadingtogoi n.Iopent hedoorandgot othe
l
ounge, wher eIfindMel i
sf acebetweenhi s
handsandt hefami lyinsilence.Si
mi ssit
ting
ont hegroundpl ayingwi thherdolls.Igoi n.
Siphelooksatme, sodoesNomsaandOl wethu.
Theireyesar eredandSi phesnosei spink
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Them:
Hi.
Si
m:Hi
sisi
.Ar
eyouf
eel
i
ngbet
ter
?
Me:
Yeah.CanIt
alkt
oyoupl
easebabycakes?
Shecomeov
erandIgoonmykneesandhug
her
.
Me:
Im sor
ryf
orwhaty
ousawbaby
.
Her
:Whywer
eyoubl
eedi
ngl
i
ket
hat
?
Mywordsgetcaughti
nmymouthandIdont
knowwhatt
osayany mor
e.Myt
earsfl
ow
unwel
come
Her
:Isi
tme?
Me:No!Nobabyanddonty
ouf
orasecondev
er
t
hinkt
hatokay
?
Her
:Pr
omi
se?
Me:
Promi
se.
Her
:Soy
oubet
ternow?
Me:
YesI
m 100%bet
ter
.
Her
:Okay
.
Shewr apsherl
it
tlearmsar oundmeandsodoI .
Ipi
ckherupandgot ot heroom wit
hher.Itake
anothershower,
al ong,scorchi
nghotshower
andIcomeout .Simi snottherebutMelii
s.
Sit
ti
ngwi t
hhisheaddown.Hel ookssogood
butIhatehimtothecor e.
Hi
m:Iknowy
ouhat
eme.
Me:
Cany
oubl
ameme?
Heshakeshi
shead,
no.

Ichangei nt
oadr essandwr apmyheadi na
doekandgetr eadytogodeal wit
hev eryone.
Melisi
zwel ookslikeshitbutIcouldntcar eless.
Yesheal solostachi l
dbutitcannev erhurthim
thewayi thurtsme.At l
eastheget sanot her
from Yonela,andwher eam Iget t
inganot her
one?Ibr oughtasmal lback-packandputi tin
mycar .Igobacki nandhel pwi t
hl unch.The
moodi ssomberar oundthehouseandI mj ust
vibi
ng.Nomsa, OlwethuandSi phegi vemea
l
onggr ouphug,cryi
ngbutImtoonumbt oal
lof
thi
s.Lunchisbeingprepar
edandImjustnoti
n
themood.Mel i
sizwewontdarespeakt
ome
bevauseheknowswhathesdonei sthecause
ofthi
shollownessinmysoul.
Mama:
Yougoi
ngbackt
oday
?
Me:
Ewema.
Her
:Why
?
Me:TestweeknextweeksoIcantski
patal
l
.
I
m wri
tingever
ydaynextweek.
Her
:Okay
.
Shel ookssot err
ibleandIthinksheblames
herselfforMel isi
zwesdoi ngs.Butkeatt heend
oftheday ,shecantmoni torhim 24/7.
Melisizwei sagr ownmanwhomakeshi sown
decisions.Hechoset onottalkt
omef i
rst
beforepr oposing, hechoset onottel
lmet hat
hespl anningont el l
i
ngthef amil
y,hechosenot
totellmeasi deaboutYonel aspregnancyand
hechosenott ocomebacklastnight
.Maybeif
hehadtoldmebef or
ehand,allofthi
swould
nothavehappened.Butke,
intheend, I
mthe
onewhosst upidf
orfal
li
ngforatakenmanwho
usedmef orsex.Andnow,Im payi
ngthepri
ce.
Mama:
Kany
isa?Hel
l
o?
Im si
tt
ngatt
hedinnertableandcompletely
zonedout
.Idi
dntreal
iset hatmytear
sar e
fal
li
ngdownmyface,Iwi pethem andlookat
umama.
Me:
Ma?
Her
:Donty
ouwantt
ogoandl
i
edown?
Me:
Not
hanky
ou.
Si
phe:
PleaseKany
i.
Shegent
lysqueez
esmyhand.
Me:
Im okay
.Real
l
y.
Igi
veherareassuri
ngsmil
eandlookatmy
pl
ate.I
tsempty.I
mi nnomoodforfood.But
bei
ngar
oundev
ery
onei
shel
pingabi
t.
Si
m:Si
sKany
i?
Il
ookatherandsmi
l
e
Me:
Yesbaby
?
Shecomesandsi
tsonmyl
ap.Shewhi
sper
s,
rat
herl
oudl
y,i
nmyear.
Her
:Wel
l,r
ememberwhenyouweremaki
ng
l
unchwi
thmommyandev er
yone?
Inod
Her:YeahwellIwenttotakemynapandI
dreamedal i
tt
leboysaidthatImustt
ell
you
thathelovesyouandBhut i
.Andi
tsnotyour
faul
the'sgone.Butyou'
llal
waysbehismommy
i
nheav en.
Myhear
tcl
enchesandIcryholdi
ngl
it
tl
eSim,
whol
ookssoconfused.Ther
eisnowayshes
maki
ngthi
sup.Noway !
[
10/
29,
19:
48]Wadz
:£19
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thingswer eneversupposedtoturnoutl i
kethi
s.
Every thingisspi
ral
li
ngoutofcontrolanditsall
myf ault.Whenutatacall
edmet othehospi t
al,
I
didntexpectwhatIhear d.Andwor seofal l
,
Thandobl amesme.Andwhyshoul dntshe?I ve
causedhernot hi
ngbutpai n,
butthi
sist he
wor st.Thewayshet hr
ewmeoutconf i
rmedmy
suspi cion,sheabsol
utel
yhatesme.I m crushed
i
nsideout .
Buty
ouknowwhatpainsmemost ?Thatli
tt
le
Si
m wastheonetowit
nessital
l.Andwher e
wasI?Lay
ingbesi
deYonel
a,brushingherbell
y.
Si
m:Ar
eyoucr
yingbecauseofmeSi
si
?
Thando:
Nobaby
.Thanky
ouf
ort
ell
i
ngmey
our
dream
Si
m:I
tsapl
easur
e.Ar
eyoul
eav
ingt
oday
?
Thandonods
Si
m:I
sitbecausey
ouwer
einhospi
tal
?
Thando:
No,
becauseIhav
etogot
oschool
on
Monday.
Si
m: Oh.Buty
oupr
omi
set
ocomet
omy
bi
rt
hday?
Thando:
Iwoul
dntmi
ssi
tfort
hewor
ldki
d.
Si
m:No,
saypr
omi
se
Thandol
aughst
hroughhert
ear
s
Thando:
Ipr
omi
se.
Si
m:Andt
obr
ingpr
esent
s?
Thando:Andtobri
ngpresent
s.Whatdoy
ou
wantforyourbi
rt
hday
?
Sim whispers,l
oudlyatthat,
inThandoseart
hat
shewant sauni corn.Ifi
ndmy sel
fsmil
i
ngatthe
thoughtthatthi
si sgoingtobemesoon.

I
nther
oom,
Iwat
chThandopack.
Me:
Arey
ouokaydr
ivi
ngback?
Shesaysnot
hingandcar
ri
esondoi
ngwhat
shesdoi
ng.
Me:Ididntmeanf oral
loft
hist
ohappen
Thando.Pleasedontshutmeout.
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe.
..
Iknowwhenshecal
l
smebymyf
ull
nameI
min
tr
oubl
e.
Me:
Baby
..
Her:
Dontbabyme.Donty
oudar
e!Khonawhat
ar
ey oudoi
ngher
e?
Shel
ooksatmewi
thsuchdi
sgust
.Ouch!
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her
:Whyarentyouwit
htheloveofyourl
i
fe?
Cel
ebr
ati
ngyourengagementandbabyhe?
Me:HaiboThandohowcanIwhenwej
ustl
ost
ourbaby?
Her
:Il
ostababy
.ME!NOTYOU.ME!
Me:
Buthewaspar
tofmet
oo.
Shel
aughs,
sar
cast
ical
l
yandshakesherhead.
Her: Right
.FunnyhowwhenI ,
nowe, needed
you, youwer entther
e.Yazi
youmakemesi ck.
Tot hecore.Tel l
me, doyouenjoyseei
ngme
breakapar t?Cry?Hurt?Humil
iated?
Me:
No.
Her:Thenwhydoy oudoi t
?Doy ouknowhow
embar r
assedIwast ofindoutthatyour
e
engaged?Andumi t
hisi
lengaphezul
u(Andgot
herpregnantto)
?InfrontofEVERYONE?You
dontev enhav
et hedecencytocallmeandtel
l
measi deonwhaty ouwer eplanni
ng?
Ikeepquietandkeepmyheadbowed.If eel
somethi
nghi tmychestandheart hedoorslam.
Wheni l
ookonmyl ap,
itsThandosweddi ng
ri
ng.Ohno.Thiscantbeov er.Notnow,notever
.

~Thando~
I
tssohar
dtosaygoodby
etol
i
ttl
eSi
m.
Especi
all
yafterwhatsheswi t
nessed.Ipray
thati
tdoesntaffectherinf
uturebecauseshes
tosmallt
obet raumat i
sedbyallofthi
s.
Thedri
vetoStel
l
enboschisdepr
essi
ngand
col
d.Idri
vet
oErinsapar
tmentandcal
lhert
o
opem f
ormeatthegate.ShedoesandIgoi
n.I
gouptoherfl
oorandknock.Assoonasshe
opens
Her
:Heybabymama
Iletthetearsfall
.Sheengul
fsmeinahuge
bearhugandIcr yonherchest
.Inbet
ween
tears,It
ellherwhathappenedandshecries
withmet oo.Ther esaknockonherdoorand
herboy f
riend,Jason,comesi
n
Hi
m:Hi
booboo.What
swr
ong?
That
smycuet
oleav
e.
Iassur
eErinthatI
llbeokayandIreall
yjust
wanttorest
.Butshesmor ethanwelcomet o
comeSunday .Sheagreesevent
uall
y.Ihug
Jasonandleave.Myphoneri
ngsandit
s
Meli
sizwe.Aaargwhatt
hefuckdoeshewant
fr
om me?
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Hi
m:Wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
Myapar
tment
.
Him:WellI
m her
eandyour
enotsotel
lmet
he
t
ruth.Ar
eyouwithy
ourboyf
ri
end?
Me:
Your
esof
ull
ofshi
tyouknowt
hat
?!
Idropthecal
l.Imfumingwit
hangerandas
soonasIgett omyapartment,
uzondibonauba
ndi
bhinqentoni!
(He'
l
lseewhatIm capableof
).

IstopbyKFCandgetsomef oodf orhi

m andI.
GoshIdontknowwhyIst i
llcarenxanddr i
veto
myapar t
ment.Ipar
kmycarandwal kt
othe
secondfloor
.Il
ivei
nabachel orpad.It
sreal
ly
prett
yandbigandkindofmanl y.Ifi
ndMeli
seatedatthedoorwit
hhisheadbet weenhis
l
egs.Icl
earmyt
hroatandhel
ooksup.
Hi
m:Hi
Irol
lmyey esandopenthedoor.Hecomesin
too.Iopenthefr
idgeandpourmyselfsome
j
uice.Hecomesar oundandopensthe
cupboardslooki
ngforpl
ates.
Hi
m:CanIsl
eepher
etoni
ght
?
Ij
ustl
ookathi
m.
Me:
Youpayt
her
entso.
..
Hi
m:Buti
tsy
ourl
i
vingspace.
Me:
Youdoasy
oupl
easeany
waysoi
tdoesnt
mat
ter
.
Iknowthatmustv
ehithi
m whereithur
tsbuti
ts
tr
ue.It
saround7soIgogetchangedintopj
s
andtakemybooksouttomystudycorner.
Hi
m:Yougoi
ngt
ost
udy
?
Me:
Yeah.
Her
emai
nsmut
e.Good,
causei
fhewer
eto
repl
yIdontknowwhatIddo.I
m soangr
ythatI
canfeelmyhandsshaki
ng.
Hi
m:Soshoul
dIgo?
Me:
Yes
Hi
m:Okay
.ButI
llbebackt
omor
row
Me:
For
?
Hi
m:Whatdoy
oumean?Fory
ou.
Me:
Why
?
Hi
m:Hai
boThando?
Me:
No, donthaibome.GotoYonel
aandleav
e
mealoneplease.Justl
etmebe.Pl
ease
Mel
i
sizwejustgo.
Hecomescl
oserandhol
dsme.Hewhi
sper
sin
myear
,
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
Ij
ustl
aughandpul
laway
.
Hi
m:Whyy
oul
aughi
ng?
Me:
Att
hel
i
est
haty
out
ryi
ngt
ofeedme.
Hi
m:I
tsnotal
i
e.ThandoIdol
ovey
ou.
Me:
Mxm somel
ovet
hatmustbe.
Helooksatme,hur
tbutIcoul
dntcar
eatal
l
.He
t
urnsandleav
es.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Wow.Ij usttoldThandoIl ovedherandshe
l
aughed.Yhot hechestpai nsI m exper i
encing,
aretoomuch.ButIguessIdeser v edthat.You
shouldveseent hewayshel ookedatmeasshe
said:"somel ovethatmustbe" .Shel ookedso
anryanddi sappointed,butherey eswer efil
led
withsomuchhat e,i
tpainsmet ot hecor e.I
haveonl ymy selftoblamef oralloft hisbutI
wil
l notgi v
euponThando.HerandIwi l
lwor k
thr
ought his.Itdoesntmat t
erhowl ongittakes
butIwi l
l notloseherIr efuse.Ivel efther
weddi ngr i
ngont hecount erandl eft.I
ve
bookedi
ntoProteaHotel
.Icantgohome.My
phoneri
ngs,
itsYonel
a
Me:
Hibabe
Her
:Hi
lov
e.Wher
eyou?
Me:
Wit
hThando
Her
:Oh.Okay
.Wheny
oucomi
ngbackher
e?
Me:
Monday
.
Her
:Oh.ButImi
ssy
ou.
Me:
Yeahbutsheneedsmebabe.
Her
:ButIneedy
out
oo.
Me:HaikeYonel
a.Ispendthewhol
eweekwi t
h
youandonlyseeherweekends,
bereasonabl
e.
Her
:Mxm.
Shedropsthecal
l
.Sigh.Il
ldeal
wothher
Monday.It
stimeIfocusedonThandofora
change.
Themor ni
ng,Iwakeupandshower .Ihaveno
cl
othestochangeint
osoIgot othemalland
buyclot
hesf r
om Markham andundiesfr
om
Woolworthsandchange.Ispotabeautif
ul
neckl
acef r
om Ameri
canSwi ssandbuyitfor
Thando.Ihopeshetakesitthi
sti
mear ound.
Idri
vetoherapar
tmentandknock.Noanswer .I
knockagai
nandIhearasof t'
coming'inside.
Sheopensthedoor,
wearinghergownandher
hai
ramess.Whenshepul lsthedoorwi der,her
gownopensandIseeabi tofherbreast.Fuck.
Me:
Mor
ning.
Her
:Hi
.
Me:
Nohug?Noki
ss?
Her
:No.
Shesay
sthatwi
thsuchannoy
ancet
hatIdeci
de
nott
opush.
Me:
Getr
eady
,we'
regoi
ngoutf
orbr
eakf
ast
.
Shesi
ghsandr
etr
eat
stot
hebedr
oom.If
oll
ow
behindherandsitont
heready-
madebed.She
takesoffhergownandImusttel
lmysel
fnott
o
gettemptedbyherbody.Il
ookaway
.
Her
:Im done.
Il
if
tmyheadandsheswear
ingjeansandatop.
Withpumpsandoneofmyj
ackets.Hey,
Iguess
hopeisnotl
ostaf
teral
l
.

WeheadouttoSummerstr
andandeat
br
eakf
ast
,incompl
etesi
lence.
Me:
Thandokazi
?
Her
:Hmm?
Me:Ther eisnoamountofsor r
iesIcansayt o
fi
xthis.Us.ButIam sorrhf orbreakingyour
heartandteari
ngy oursoul.Itwasnev ermy
i
ntentiontomaket hingsturnoutl i
kethis.Yes,I
shouldveconsult
edy oufirstbeforegoingt othe
familyandIam truel
lysorryaboutt hat.From
nowon, Il
ltal
ktoy oufir
stbef oreIdoany thi
ng,
asmyf
ir
stwi
fe.
Shesaynot
hingandnods
Me: AndwhenIsai dIlovedy oui zol
o,Imeantit
.
Notbecausewe' regr i
ev i
ngt helossofourson
butbecauseIt r
uellymeani twhenIsayIl ove
you.Ido.Andal lIaski sthatyougi veus
anotherchance.Giv emeanot herchancet o
maket hi
ngsrightbet weenusandbet he
marriedcouplewear e.Pleasest handwasam,
dontgiveuponussoeasi l
y.Im beggingyou.I
cantloseyou.Notnow.
Shelooksatmewithatearf
all
i
ngdownher
faceandIki
sshercheekandwipet
het
ear
away.
Sheclear
shert
hroatandgi
vesmeaweak
smil
e.
Her
:Ij
ustneedt
ime.
Me:
Andt
hat
sgoodenoughf
orme.
Ipul
lherbyherchi
nandpl
antaki
ssonherl
i
ps.
Sheresponds.WhenIpul
laway
,shepul
l
sme
ti
ght
eranddeepenstheki
ss.
[
10/
29,
19:
49]Wadz
:£20
~Thando~
Iml yi
ngi nbedt hinkingaboutmybr eakfastwi th
Mel i
sizwe.Wi l
lheev erchangeorwasIj usta
l
ov est r
uckf ool whowast ooscar edt ostand
hergr ound?Imean, Ikissedhi m.Why ?Icannot
begint oexpl ai
nmyr easonsbecauseIhadnon.
Ijustwi shhedi dntlov eYonel at henmay beI d
beli
ev ehim whenhesay shel ovesmewhi chby
thewayhesai dagai nbef oreIgotoutofhi scar,
hour sago.Iputmyhandonmybel lyasIt hi
nk
aboutmybabyboy .Myt earscomeunwel come
andst ingmyal readypai ningey es.Idontt hi
nk
anyonecoul dev erfathom t hegr iefy ouget
wheny oul oseyourf ir
stchi l
doranychi ldf or
thatmat t
er.Apar tofy oursoul get srippedout
ofy ourbodyandy ourhear tshat tersi nt
o
i
nf i
natepi eces.Irollovert omysi deandl etout
abodybr
eaki
ngwai
l
.

NickiMinaj's-DungeonDr agonwakesmeupi n
themor ni
ngandIdr agmyheav ybodyt othe
shower.OnceI m outIwearj eans,hoodi eand
sneakers.Imi nnomoodt omakeanef for
t
causeIm dr ained.IcantbelieveIm writi
ngt he
wholeoft hisweek.Wel l
ex ceptforFriday,
thankGoodnesscauseIpl ant ogetfuckedup
drunkThur sdayni ght,
soIcanr emov ethis
evergr
owi ngpai ninmysoul .Igrabandappl e
andmakemywayout .AsIopent hedoor ,I
m
metbyEr inhol dingtwocupsofcof feeanda
puffyf
ace.Shesbeencr yi
ng
Me:
Hey
.What
swr
ong?
Her:
Reall
y?Wej
ustl
ostababyhowcany
ou
askthat
?
SeewhyIl
ovethi
sgi
rl
!Iwi
shMel
i
sizwewas
l
ikeher
.Si
gh.
Me:
Ohy
eah.IhopeIdi
dntr
uiny
ourdat
eni
ght
.
Her:
Strangel
y,y
ourgr
iefbr
oughtmeandJason
cl
oser.
Me:
Andher
eyouwer
e,r
eadyt
odumphi
m
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Ithoughtheonl
ywantedt
hecooki
ejar
mos.Butno,hewasscar
edofme.
Il
aughoutl
oud.I
tsbeenawhi
l
esi
nceI
ve
l
aughedl
iket
his.
Me:Shamepoorguy .ButI
m happyforyou.I
wi
shIcouldexper
iencewhatyouregoing
t
hrough.
Her
:Yeahmet
oo.
Ij
ustbreakdownandcr yonEr
insshoul
der
.Im
soti
redofpain,
Ijustwantt
obehappy .
Her :
Itwil
lgetbet
termyfr
iend.I
tdoesntrai
n
forever
.Someday swil
lbesunnyandothers
cloudy.I
tsuptoyouwhaty oudowhent he
weat
herchanges.
Sheki
ssesmyforeheadandhugsmeti
ght
er.
Wegoandgetinhercarandli
stent
omusi
cthe
whol
eridet
oschool.

Theex am i shect i
cbutIst udiedhar dsoI m glad
Iwenti nther eprepar ed.Idrivet o
Summer strandandgot othemal ltoshopf or
Simsgi ft
.Inoneoft hejewel l
eryst ores,Ifi
nda
necklacef ormomsanddaught erssoIgetone
formeandSi m.I t
sahear tlocketsoIaskt he
shopassi stantf orassistance.Iwantt oputa
picofmeandheri nher sandt hesamei nmi ne.
Igot othepr intersandpr i
ntoutt hepi csandgo
backt othej ewel l
erystoreandhesay sIshould
comecol l
ecti tonWednesday .Igot ot het oy
storeandl ucki l
yIgetahor set eddybearwi tha
horn.Andt hengot oaki dsclot hi
ngst oreand
buyherapi nkdr essandheel s(shel ovest hem).
Simi sabeaut if
ul,darkbeaut ywi thdi mplesand
l
onglashes.GorgeousItell
y ou,Iwishshewere
mine.AtthemallIbumpi nt
oYonel aand
Meli
sizwe.Myhear tdr
opsbutIkeepmy
composure.IdontknowhowI m managingto
keepcool.Meli
siz
wel ooks.
..dif
ferent
.Ismi
le
Yonel
a:Hey
.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Her
:Fancyseei
ngy
ouher
edur
ingt
heweek?
GoshIwantt
orol
lmyey esbutIwont
.
Composur
ebabes,composure.
Ij
ustsmi
l
e.
Me:Wel
li
twasniceseei
ngy
ou,
enj
oyt
her
est
ofy
ouraf
ter
noon.
Igiv
ethem mysweet
estsmi
l
eandwal
kpast
them.

I
m paci
ngi
nmyapartmentbutwhy
?Shesgoing
t
omar r
yhi
m soonsomightaswel
lgetusedt
o
thei
dea.Butshemustnotfuckwit
hme, causeI
cangetver
ynasty
,ver
yquicklyandshe'
l
lend
upnotmarryi
nghi
m.Nx!
Aftersupper
,Isitatmydeskandcont
inue
studyi
nguntill
ate.Ther
esaknockonmydoor
anditsLamla.Baaaaaaabes!
Me:
Honeypi
e.
Hi
m:Donty
oudar
e.Whatki
ndoff
ri
endar
eyou?
Me:
Whatdi
dIdo?
Hi
m:Youl
osey
ourbabyandy
oudontev
ent
ell
me.
Me:Iwantedtotell
youwhenIwasstr
ong
enough.Idontwanttobr
eakany
more.
Lamlaengulfsmei nahugandcr i
esonmy
shoul
der.It
sapai nf
ulsightbecausehesalways
bubblyandcheerfularoundme.Hi m andhis
boyfr
iend,Mark.Theytreatmel i
kethei
rbaby
si
sandal waysmakesur eIm good.
Af
terawhi
l
eLaml
apul
l
sawayandwi
peshi
s
t
ear
s
Him: Pl
easeThando, comet omewheny ounot
okay.Imayj okearoundandbeanui sanceat
ti
mes, butthatsbecauseIprefertobet he
reasonfory oursmil
e,notyourtears.Butthat
doesntmeany oushouldntcomet omewhen
youhur t
.Im hereforyounomat terwhatokay?
Inodandhewi
pesawayanescapi
ngt earwi
th
hi
sthumb.Heki
ssesmeonthecornerofmy
mouth.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
"
WHATTHEFUCK?
"
Webot ht
urnt
oseeamadMel isi
zweatt
he
door.Ohhowi
rri
tat
ing.I
mtemptedt
orol
lmy
eyes.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
I
sshefucki
ngser
ious?Shescheat
ingonme?
Real
l
y.
Her
:(
cal
mly
)hel
l
oMel
i
sizwe
Guy
:Ohi
sthi
sthehubby
?
YesMot
her
fucker
.Iam t
hehubby
.
Me:
Car
etoexpl
ainwhyy
ou'
reki
ssi
ngmywi
fe.
Her
:Lamla,I
llseey
out
omor
row.Pi
ckmeupso
wecancatchup.
Ohi
sthi
sthe'
fr
iend'
Laml
a?Nx!
Lamla:Sur
e.Bytheway,
Mar
kist
heonewho
i
nsist
edont hewine.
Wi ne?Whatwi ne?Thandoblushes.Shes
fuckingblushi
ng?Inmypr esence.Thelevelof
disrespectfr
om thi
swomani sastoni
shing.
Laml acomesmywayandImov efrom thedoor
andhel eaves.Icl
osethedoorbehi ndhi
m
Her
:Whatdoy
ouwantMel
i
sizwe?I
m st
udy
ing.
I
sshej
oki
ng?Shemustbej
oki
ng.
Me:
Ist
haty
ourboy
fri
end?
Sher ol
lshereyes,
annoyed.Andi
ttakesal
lthe
strengt
hinmenott othrowthegl
assonthe
tableagai
nstthewallandbeangr
y.
Her:
No.That
smygayfr
iendLaml
a,whowas
her
etocomfortme.
Me:
mmm. .
.Ihopef
ory
oursakey
our
etel
l
ing
t
hetr
uth
Her:Hehake.Unli
keyou,Idontsneakaround
anddoshadyshi t
.Soifyoucandomeaf avour
,
pl
easekindlyexcuseme, Im wri
ti
ngtomorrow
andifIcantbeamot her
, atl
eastletmebea
graduat
e.
Yhothatl
astl
i
nepunchesintomyhear
tandit
dropstomystomach.Thandohasawayof
makingmefeelsmall
,yer
!
Me:
Icamet
ocheckony
ou.
Her:
Why?ToseeifIhaventcr
umbledfrom
seei
ngy
ouall
lovey-
doveywithyoursoul
mate?
Nahboo,
Im good.
Hey!Thandoisthrowi
ngsomehar dpunches
mywayandIhav enochoicebuttot
aket hem,
causeIdodeservethem.Iremainmute,unabl
e
tospeak.WhatcanIsayaf t
ert
hatbi
gblow?
Me:CantIcomecheckupony
ouwi
thoutbei
ng
scr
uti
nized?
Her:Youcanbuty ounormall
ydonthencethe
scrut
iny.Theonl
yt i
mey ouevercomehereis
foragreatfuckt
heny ouleav
emel ikeI
m some
l
oosewhor e.
Yho!Ouch!Whatwast
hatf
or?
Me:
Letmegobef
oreIdosomet
hingI
llr
egr
et.
Her
:Pl
ease.
Iputt
hegrocerybagonthekit
chencount
er,
gi
veThandoonel astl
ookandleav
e.Wow!So
muchfortr
ying.
..
~Thando~
Rha!YeereMel
isi
zwethi
nkshecanhav ethe
bestofbothworl
dsnhe?Hey!Hay
iletmef ocus
onthesebooksbefor
eIdwel
l ont
hatissue
fur
ther
.
Thursdayr ol
lsar oundandI m exci t
edt hatIm
donewi thtestsf ornow.I t
stheendofMay
today ,whichmeanspayday !Mymomspol icy
paidoutasum ofR400000, whichIv eputinto
mybankt opaymeoutR1000ev er
ymont hend
forent ert
ainment .Mel i
sizwepay sformy
everythingandgi v esmeanal l
owanceofR5000
whenev erIwanti t .TheR1000f r
om mom, I
somet i
mesendupnotneedi ngsoIputi tinmy
savingswi t
ht her est.Any way ,Eri
nandIgot o
theliquorst oreandst ockuponsomebooze
butnotal ot.Enoughf orpr edr i
nksaswewi llbe
headingoutt oCubanaandal ltheot herclubs
aroundSt ell
i
es.I m excitedcausesi nceIvebeen
tovar sit
yIhav entgonecl ubbingcauset hings
weregoodwi thMel i.Well,t
hatwast hent hi
si s
now.Wehav esomeli
ghtsandwichesand
predr
inkswhi
lewegetdressed.

AtCubanaEr inandIar edanci ngouthear t

sout
andsmoki ngoka.Fuck.Thi si st
hebestt ime
Iv
ehadi nal ongtime.Wel l,
y out
hli
kef un.I
m
l
aughingandf li
rti
ngandbei ngcr azy.Thejoy s
ofbei
ngy oung.Iseeanol dermar ri
edcoupl e
comei nanddancet ogether.Cuteman.It ake
shot
sandI m dancingthem away .
Me:
Eri
nlet
sgo.I
mti
red
Her
:It
houghty
oudnev
ersay
.Mypl
acenhe?
Me:
Yeah.
Er
inspl
acei
scl
osersowegot
her
e.
Welayi
ngont hebed,eat
ingchi
psandice
cr
eam andlaughing,
whenEr i
nstar
tski
ssi
ng
me.Im shocked.
Her
:Thando,
letmemakey
ouf
eel
goodpl
ease.
Makemebettert
oo.
Inodandshet akesmycl othesof fandIt ake
hersofftoo.Sheski ssingmyneckandboobs
andcar essi
ngmybody .It
sheav enly
.She
eventuall
yreachesmypar adiseandl icksme
reall
ygood.Itsheav enly.Hert ongueci rcl
ingmy
cli
tandherf inger
smov ingi nandoutofme.I t
s
i
ndescr i
bable.Mylegsqui ckenbeneat hmeand
beforeIknowi t,i
letoutamasskv eorgasm,
splashi
ngherf aceint hepr ocess.Shesmi l
es
andget sont opofmegr i
ndingherbodyup
towardsmymout h.Shesi tsonmyf ace, her
pussydi r
ectl
yonmymout handshest art
s
gri
nding.Isli
pmyt onguei nsideherhol eand
mov eitupanddown.
Her
:Yesbaby
,tonguef
uckme,
yeah.
Itt
urnsmeonsoIgr abherlegsandlowerher
down,si
tt
ingupintheprocess.Assoonas
shesonherback,If
inerf
uckherhard.She
gri
ndsandscreamsandcumsonmyf i
ngers.
Damn.
Sheroll
soverandtakesoutadildo.I
tsadual
pl
easuredil
doandroll
sov erandsli
desiti
nto
herpussy,
herlegsspreadwideoverherhead
Her
:Comer
ideonme.
Igetontopandst
raddl
eher
,sl
i
dingt
hedi
l
doi
n.
Itf
eelssogood
Her
:Fuckmehar
d.
ShegrabsmyassandIst artmoving.Fuck,you
shoul
dv eheardthemoansandgr oanst hat
camef r
om ourmout hsaswef uckedeach
other
.WhenIwasnear i
ng,shefl
ippedmeov er
andfuckedmet i
ll
mypussubur ned.Ihad
multi
pleorgasmst hatl
eftmecrashingontop
ofher.Damnt hatwasgood.
[
10/
29,
21:
23]Wadz
:£21
~Thando~
Iwakeupt oanakedErinwrappedaroundme.
WhatisitwithherandMeli
sizwe?Igentl
y
unt
anglemy sel
fandstandtogopee.Ihav ea
l
argehangover,t
hat
sgotmyheadspl i
tt
ingi
n
two.Oncei
nt hebathroom,Ishowerandcome
out,
Eri
nissti
llsl
eeping.Igetdr
essedandgrab
mycarkeysandgo.
Igettomyapar tmentandMel ii
salreadyt
here.
Asuddenwav eofguiltgoesthr
oughmybody
butisquickl
yreplacedwi t
halongi
ngand
hungerforhim.Hel ookssogoodstandingnext
tohiscar.Igetoutofmi neandwalkintot
he
buil
ding.
Hi
m:Wher
ewer
eyou?
Me:
Out
.
Hi
m:Whydi
dnty
ousl
eepher
e?
Me:
BecauseIwasout
.
Iwantt
olaughsobadbutIwont
.Hegr
absmy
ar
m
Hi
m:Wher
esy
ourweddi
ngr
ing?
Me:
Her
eathome.
Hi
m:Your
eal
l
ytest
ingmypat
iencenhe?
Isaynot
hingexceptmakethat"
mngqca"sound.
Imtoohungoverfort
hisshi
t.
Me:
Whyar
eyouher
eany
way
?
Him:You'
resocheekynhe?ThandoI
m war
ning
you!
Me: Orwhat?Yougoi ngtohitme?Takeaway
myschooling?GoaheadBhut i
.Youveal
ready
brokenmesoj ustfi
nishmeof f
.Yhuhayiube
undingxol
elandinebhabhalaza(busymakinga
noisewhil
stIm hungover)
Hi
m:Uy
asel
angoku?
(Youdr
inknow)
Me: Ewekaloku.Imustt oreli
evemyev er
achingheart.KnowingIm secondbestbyf or
ce.
Wat chi
ngthemanIl ove,
lovesomeoneel se.
Wat chsomet hi
ngthatwillneverhappentome
happent osomeoneel se.Isawy ouproposeto
her.InOURhome.
Ist
art
edt
ocr
y,Iwasf
umi
ngwi
thanger
.I
wantedt
oki
ckhim outbutIwont.Notthi
sti
me.
Iwanthi
mtoseehowmuchhesbr okenme,
howmuchofalove-si
ckfoolhesturnedmeint
o.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Seei ngThandocr yandbei ngt hecauseofher
tearshur t
sme, deeply .Idontknowhowt ofix
thi
sany more.May beifIl ethergo, she'
l
l be
happyandIcanst ophur ting.ButasmuchasI
wantt o,
Icant.Myhear tandsoul wontl etme.
Im dr awntoher ,spir
itually.Somet hingIdont
hav ewi t
hYonel a.Ifindmy sel
fdoingwhatI ve
nev erdonebef ore.Pr ayingf ormywomanand
strangely,Ial
mostal way spr ayforThando.
Me:
Thando.
..
Shel
i
ftsupherhandandshakesherhead.
Her:Pl
easedontMeli
sizwe.Pl
easedontf
eed
meany moreofyourl
i
es.Imt i
redoft
hem.For
once,j
ustt
ellmethetr
uth.
Me:
thet
rut
haboutwhat
?
Her
:Doy
ouhonest
lyandt
ruel
l
ylov
eme?
Me:
Yes.
Ianswerinaheartbeatbecausei tsthetr
uth.
Shenodsandwal ksoff.Probablygoingto
change.Igotothekit
chenandf i
xhera
hangoverdri
nk.Worksmagi cwithmybr other
s
soitwil
lsurel
yworkforher .Iwalkintot
he
bedroom andsheschangingi nt
oadr ess.
Me:
Her
e..
.
Her
:Thanx.Whati
sit
?
Me:
Hangov
erdr
ink.
Shesmel
l
sitandpul
l
saf
ace.
Her
:Euw!What
sini
t?
Me:
Youdontwantt
oknow.Justdr
ink.
Sheswall
owshardandlooksatme,t
henthe
dri
nk.Shepi
ncheshernoseandgul
psthedr
ink.
Shepull
safaceandholdshermout
h
Her
:It
hinkI
m goi
ngt
othr
owup.
Me:
Dont
.Wai
t,I
m comi
ng.Justdontt
hrowup.
Igototheki
tchenandgethersomejuiceand
honey.Iwal
kbacktotheroom andherhandi
s
sti
l
lonhermout h,
shesgaggi
ng.
Me:
Her
e.
Shetakesthej
uiceanddrinksit
.Thensqueezes
honeyonherfi
ngerandsucksoni t
.Damn!I
fi
ndmy sel
fmoaning.Shi
t!Iinst
inct
ivel
ytur
n
andwalkaway,notbefor
eIhearhergi ggl
e.

Thedrivebackhomei squietwit
honlymusic
pl
ayingbetweenus.Ireachoverandlockmy
handwithhers.Shet
ur ns,
smilesandholdsmy
handfir
mer.Seemslikenotallhopeisl
ost.As
wenearCapeTown, shespeaks
Her
:Bhut
i.
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:CanIgosl
eepatahot
elpl
ease?
Il
ookather
,sear
chi
ngf
orr
easonsi
nherey
es.
Her:Im notr
eadytosl
eepint
hatr
oom, t
hatbed,
thehouse.It
sallal
it
tl
etoomuchtoosoon.
Please
Me:
Itsokay
.Il
lbookusi
n.
Her
:Noj
ustme.Iwantt
obeonmyownpl
ease.
Me:
Okay
.ButI
llcal
lyouokay
?
Shegoesqui
et .Andl ooksoutt
hewi ndow.I
si
gh.I
tsti
meIst eppedup.Forrealthi
sti
meno
morebul
lshi
t.Icallahot el
andbookherin.We
gett
othehotel andIhelphersettl
ein.
Her
:Pl
easet
ell
Simt
hatI
llbeatherpar
ty
t
omorr
owokay?
Me:
Okay
.IguessI
llseey
out
omor
row.
Her
:Okay
.Sl
eepwel
l
.
Me:Yeahyoutoo.Andifyouneedany
thi
ng,
Im
aphonecal
laway.Pleasecal
lmebabe.
ShenodsandIpullheri
nf orahugandsof
t
peckonthel
ips,
thenleave.

Atthehouse,
Ifi
ndt
hem seat
edatt
hedi
nner
tabl
e.
Me:
Heyev
ery
one.Hi
dad,
Himom.
Langa:
Im notev
ery
onemna.
Me:
Oho!
Si
m:Wher
esSi
si?
Me:
Shescomi
ngt
omor
row.
Si
m:Oh.CanIt
alkt
oherpl
ease?
Me:
Aft
ersupper
.
Shesmi
l
esandgi
ggl
es.
Mama:
Sim goupst
air
shoney
,Il
lbewi
thy
ou.
Si
m get
supandl
eav
es.AndsodoesSazi
and
Suzi
.
Tat
a:Wher
eisshe?
Me:
Att
hehot
el.
Mama:
Hai
bowhy
?Di
dyouguy
sfi
ght
?
Me:
NoMother.Shejustcantbar
etobeinthe
r
oom y
ouknow,aft
erallthat
shappened.
Kamv
a:Ar
eyout
reat
inghergood?
Me:
Yeahhai
bo.
Khanya:mmm. .
.Ihopey
ounotnegl
ect
ingher
becauseofYonel
a.
Me:Haikengoku!Im notgoingtosi
thereandbe
i
nterr
ogatedandbej udged.AndIseethatyou
guysseem toforget
,thatIalsol
ostachil
dnot
j
ustuKany i
sa.
Langa:Butunl
i
kehery ouhaveanotheronthe
way,yena?Anddontforgett
hatyouwer ent
herewhenshelostherbabysodontcomeher e
andtrytoactt
hevict
im.
Mama:
NoLanga.
Langa:
Nomama,
no.I
mti
redofy
oual
way
s
defendingMeli
sizwe.Canty ouseet hathe's
breaki
ngKany i
saapart?Mel isizweisself
ish
qha!Weal lsawhowKany i
sawasshockedand
hurtwhenheandYonel acamepr anci
ngin
announcingthei
rengagement .Clear
ly,
hedidnt
consulther
.Hest aki
ngadv antageofherl ove
andwhenshef i
nall
ybreaks, he'l
lhavenoone
el
set oblamebuthi mselfnx!
WiththatbeingsaidLangagetsupandleav
es,
pushingmeont heway.Yho.Wow.Isay
nothi
ngandt ur
ntogotomyr oom.Im
speechlessandmyspi ri
tisbr
oken.Il
ayonthe
bedandt heresasoftknockinmyroom.
Me:
Yeah?
Si
m comesinholdi
ngherteddyi
nherv
erypi
nk
py
jama.Shelookssocut
e.
Her
:Canwecal
lsi
sinow?
Inodandgestur
ehert
ocomel i
enexttome.I
takeoutmyphoneandcal
lThando.Shepi
cks
upont het
hir
dri
ng
Her
:Hel
l
o?
Me:Hey
.Ther
essomeonewhowant
stot
alkt
o
you.
IhandSi
mthephone
Her
:Hi
Sisi
.
Thando:
Hibaby
.Imi
ssy
ou?Howar
eyou?
Iwal
kawaytothecl
osett
ochange,l
eavi
ngSi
m
tot
alkt
oThando.Af
terI
m doneIgobackout
Si
m:Andt
henshesai
dIm ugl
y.
Shewasi
ntear
s.
Thando:I
m sorrybabybuty ouknowthatsnot
tr
uenhe?Your esobeauti
ful andwar
m andkind
andbubbly
.Youhav eahear tofgol
d.Youcould
neverbeuglyevenifyout
ried.Dontl
ist
entoher.
ShesmeanandI llhav
east rongtal
kwithher
okay?
Si
m:Okay
.
Thando:
Pleasedontcr
ymybabybecausey
ou
makemewor
ryandsadwheny
oucr
y.
Sim:OkayI
llst
op.I
tsmybedt
imenow.Lov
e
you.
Thando:
Ilov
eyout
oo.Gi
vet
hephonet
oBhut
i.
Her
:Okayby
eseey
out
omor
row.
Shehandsmet
hephoneandki
ssesmycheek.
Her
:Ni
ght
.
Me:
Night
.
Shel
eav
es.
Thando:
Thanksf
ort
hat
.
Me:
Itsapl
easur
e.
Her
:Wel
lsweetdr
eams.Goodni
ght
.
Me:
Goodni
ght
.

Dur
ingtheni
ght,Itossandturnthinki
ngabout
whatLangasai
d.Thegui l
tiseati
ngmeup
i
nsi
deandIcantt akeitany
mor e.SoIgetup
andl
eavethehouse.Idr
ivet
oThandoshot
el
andcal
lher.
Her
:Hel
l
o.
Me:
Pleaseopen.
Her
:Okay
.
Iwai
tabi
tandsheopenst
hedoor
.Looki
ngso
cut
eandi
nnocent
.
Her
:What
swr
ong?
Icanthol
diti
nanymoreandIjustcr
y.Shepul
l
s
mei nandwrapsherar
msaroundme.
Wei nt
hebedr
oom andI
mlay
ingwi
thher
,st
il
l
cr
ying
Her
:Bhut
iyoumaki
ngmewor
ry.What
swr
ong?
Thewor dsj
ustdontseem tocomeout ,onl
ymy
tears.Howisshestil
lwithmet hr
oughthis?Iv
e
brokenherandshesst il
lhere.Isi
tbecause
sheshonour i
ngherfatherswished,forher
educationorbecausesher eall
ycatesabout
me?Eit
herway ,Langaisright
.IfIdontpul
lup
mysocks, shesgoingtoleavemeev enthough
I
m star
tingtofallf
orher.Shecomf ort
smeand
r
ubsmybackt il
lIfal
lasl
eep.
[
10/
29,
21:
24]Wadz
:£22
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Iwakeupaloneinbed.Myheadi sheavyandso
aremyeyel
ids.Isearchi
nbedf ormyphone,
fi
nditandl
ookatt heti
me.Ihavesomany
missedcal
l
sf r
om Yonela,Tat
a,Mama, Langa
andthetwi
ns.Myphonebuzzes, it
sSazi.
Me:
Heybabyf
ace.
Shegi
ggl
es
Her:
HelloBhut
i.Umamawant
stoknowwher
e
youare?
Me:
Im wi
thThando.I
llbet
her
enow.
Her:Okay.Causeshewant
syout
ocomehel
p
setupforthebir
thday
.
Me:
Okay
.Im comi
ng.
Thandowalksin,dressedinli
ghtbl
uejeans,
pol
oneckandov ersizedjeanj
acket
.Itl
ooksli
ke
oneofmine.Sheshol dingatr
ayoffood.
Her
:Mor
ning.
Me:
Hel
l
omyl
ove.
Her
:Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
Bet
terwi
thy
ouher
e.
Sheblushesandsitsonthebedandhandsme
thetr
ay.Isitupandstar
tdiggi
ngin.Ihol
dupa
spoonfulofyoghur
tandfeedher.Ismil
ewhen
sheresponds.
Me:
Wheny
oust
art
ingwi
thexams?
Her
:Thur
sday
.
Me:
Oh,
your
eady
?
Shesi
ghsandshr
ugs.
Me:
Your
ebr
ighty
ou'
l
lpassei
therway
.
Her
:Ihopeso.
Ipul
lheri
nandpl
antapeckonhersof
tli
ps.
Her
:Whatwast
hatf
or?
Ij
ustshr
ug
Me:
CauseIcan.
Shesmi
l
esandst
ands.
Her
:Hur
ry.Mamai
scal
l
ingf
ory
ou.
Me:
Ohy
eah.Comesi
tnextt
ome,
Imi
ssy
ou.
Shesmilesandt
akesoffherchucksandgetsi
n
nextt
ome.Shesnugglesincloseandwejust
si
tli
kethis.I
nsi
l
ence.

~Thando~
Ireal
lydontknowwhat sgottenintoMeli
sizwe.
Sincewe'vegothereattheparty,he'
sbeen
cli
ngy.Fol
lowingmeev erywhereandholdi
ng
myhandl i
keal ways.It
hinkit
sfinall
ygott
ohi m
thathehaslosthissonwi t
hme.AsmuchasI
l
ovealltheattent
ionhesgiv
ingme,Iknowits
notgoi
ngt olastl
ong.IhopeYonel
adoesnt
comebecausehe' ll
thr
owmeawayl ikelast
ni
ghtsrubbish.
Simi sal
soanotheronewhosst ucktomeli
ke
glue.Shewantsmet ocarryherever
ywher
eand
sheswear i
ngmydr essasherbirt
hdayout
fi
t
withablackPoloneck.Shelookssocut
ewith
herponies.
Si
phe:
What
swr
ongwi
thMel
i
sizwe?
Me:
Idontknow.Hedoesntwantt
otal
kabouti
t.
Si
phe:
Hesf
oll
owi
ngy
ouar
oundl
i
keabi
gbaby
.
Igi
ggleandoncuehewal
ksintotheki
tchen
andlayshi
sheadonmyshoulder
.
Nomsa:
Mhmmmm.
..
Ij
ustl
augh
Me:
Hay
isi
si.
Ol
wet
hu:
Hay
iMel
i
sizwehamba(
go)
.Women
onl
yher
e..
HelooksatOlwet
huandsnugglesmyneck.He
real
l
yisofft
oday.Usual
l
yhehasasnappy
comebackbutnottoday.I
mreall
yst
art
ingto
worry.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Mymoodr eal
l
yisdampt oday,
ontheoneday
thatweshouldbecel
ebrati
ngSimsbday.Shes
ourli
tt
lepri
ncesssoweal lmakeaneff
ortt
o
makeev er
ybirt
hdayofhersspeci
al.
Thando:
Baby
..
.
Il
ookt oher
.Shehasnev
ercal
l
edmet
hat
,Im
shocked.
Her
:What
swr
ong?Your
eal
l
ymaki
ngmewor
ry.
Me:
Il
lbef
ine.Justsad.
Her:
okay.Well
you'
l
lcomet
omewheny
ou
wanttot
alk.
Shekissesmyfor
eheadandget
supt
ogo
out
side.Shet
akesmyhandandwego.
Thepar tyi
sverychil
dlikeandnoisy.Yhokids
areloud.Thereisscreaming,cryi
ng,l
aughing
andshout i
ng.ThankGodt hi
sisonceay ear
causey homyheadi shur t
ingfrom al
lofthi
s.
Myphoner i
ngsanditsYonel asayi
ngshes
outsidethegate.Si
gh.
Me:
Im comi
ngnow.
Iki
ssThandoont hecheekandtel
lherI
m
coming.Shenodsandplayswit
hSim

Outsi
de,
Yonel
agi
vesmeahugesmoochand
hug.
Her:
Im her
etost
eal
youawayf
orami
nut
eor
t
wo.
Me:
Icant
.It
sSi
msbi
rt
hdaypar
ty.
Her
:Pl
ease,
itwontt
akel
ong.
Isi
gh.Inodandgeti
n.Shedr
ivestot
hedrs
off
ice.Shewal
tsi
nandwegoi nt
otheroom.
Dr
:Goodaf
ter
noon.
Ismi
leandshakehishand.AndYonel
asmi
l
es
athi
mtoo,r
atherseduct
ivel
ytoo.
Hi
m:Your
eadyt
oseey
ourf
ir
stchi
l
d?
Ismil
ebuti
tdoesntr
eachmyey
es.Because
ther
eisashar
ppaini
nmyheart
.
Yonelaliesont hebedandthedrdoeshist hi
ng.
Thent hereisasound.Aheartbeat,mykids
hear
t beat.Ifi
ndmyt ear
sforminginmyey es
andtheybegi ntof
all
.Yonel
asmi l
esatmewi th
hertearst oo.It
ssuchanamazingfeeli
ng.
I
m ov
ert
hemoonwi
thj
oy.
Ont
hewaybackhome,
wedr
opbyt
hehal
l
.
Her
:BabyIwast
hinking,t
hatmaybewecoul
d
hav
eourweddi
ngov ertheJunehol
iday
s.
Me:
Sosoon?
Her:Yeah.Imeanweloveeachothersowhy
waitsolong?AndIwanttogetmarri
edbef
ore
mybumpshowsandal sosothebabycanhave
yoursurname.
Ismi
l
eandki
ssher
.
Me:
Okay
.
Her:Okaygood.CauseI
m sendingt
heinv
ites
outnextweek.AndyouandIneedtogocake
tast
ingonMondayandgof oryourf
it
ti
ngon
Wednesday.Okay?
Me:
That
sfi
nebyme.
Her
:Thanky
oubaby
.
Shekissesmeandhugsme.Wegoi nt
othehall
andtheweddingpl
annershowsusaround.I
har
dlypayatt
enti
oncausethiski
ndofthi
ng
boresme.Whenshesdone, wegoeatoutand
shedropsmeathome.

~Thando~
Howmuchofaf oolam I?FuckIknewt hatall
thisatt
entionIwasget tingwouldcomet oan
endsoon.Butnott hi
sf ast.Mel
isi
zwehas
disappearedf ortherestoft heday.Im beyond
madandIj ustwantt ofuckoffhome.How
couldhedot his?Playwi thmyhear tl
ikethis?I
cantleaveandam sur eashellwil
lnotbe
sleepi
nginhi sr oom tonight.
Hecomesback, allsmi l
esandsmel l
i
ngl i
ke
anotherwoman.MustbeYonel asper fume.Im
l
ividwithanger.Luckil
y,thepar tyhasdi eddown
andwear ekindofdonecl eaning.Het ri
es
givi
ngmeahugbutIshakemyhead.Thi sisit
.
Ivehadenough.Al lthewhol eImt hinkinghes
beendepr essedcauseoft hemi scarri
agebut
no!Itsbecausehesbeenmi ssinguYonel a.Rha!
Im somadIcoul dspi t
.Andwhatpi ssesmeof f
mor e,i
sthathedoesntev ensaywhenhes
goingandwhohesgoi ngwi th.Iwasntgoi ngto
stophim butitwouldshowsomecar eand
respectformeandmyf eelings.Butno!As
al
ways,Mel
i
sizwedoeswhathepl
easesandt
o
hel
lwit
hme.Fuckenbast
ard.
Oncewedonecl eani
ngandev ery
oneleaves,I
headupstai
rsandputat i
redSimtobed.WhenI
l
eave,sheasksmet olaywithherforawhil
eso
Ido.

Imustv
edozedoffcauseIm wokenupbymy
ri
ngi
ngphone.I
tsMeli
sizwe.
Me:
Yes?
Hi
m:Wher
eyou?
Me:
Simsr
oom
Hi
m:Oh.I
vebeenl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou.
Me:
Okay
.
Hi
m:Ar
eyousl
eepi
ngt
her
etoni
ght
?
Me:
Why
?Youwantt
osneakoutt
oYonel
a?
Hegoesqui
et.
Me:
Mxm.
AndIdr
opt
hecal
l
.Idonthav
eti
mef
ort
hisshi
t.
Real
l
y.
ThedooropensandMel
i
sizwecomesi
n.
Hi
m:Canwet
alk?
Me:
Tal
k.
Hi
m:Heywat
chy
ourwor
ds.
Me:I
fyoureher
etotel
lmetowatchmywor
ds,
t
henIsuggesty
outurnar
oundandgot
oYonel
a.
Him:
What
supwi t
hyou?Onemi
nut
eyourup
andt
hennexty
ouredown.
Il
etoutasar
cast
icl
augh
Me:Your
eonet otal
k.Meli
sizwe,
Imti
redand
wantt
osleep.Pl
easeleav
ebef or
eyouwakeup
Si
m.
Hesighsandleav
es.Notbef
ore,
heshakeshi
s
head.Mxm t
ohellwit
hhim.
Thenextmor
ningIwakeupandcal
lacabt
o
pickmeup.Iki ssSim byeandsneakoutt ot he
cab.Lucki
ly,mypur seisonthekitchencount er
soIgr abi
tandl eave.Thecabtakesmet othe
hotelandIpay.Igoi nsi
dethehotel andgot o
myr oom,wher eIshower,changeint oblack
j
eansandsweat erandheeledboot s.Ihardly
wearheelsbutt oday,If
eelli
kewear ingthem.I
ti
emyhai rinahi ghbun,wearmyr edl i
pst i
ck
andcoatwithloopear ri
ngs.Ipackmybagand
callMam'Naledi.
Her
:Heybabyf
ace.
Me: Hell
oma.I m notgoi
ngt
oj oinyouf or
breakfastorl
unchcauseIm goingbackear l
y
today.Butyest
erdaywaswonder ful
,thankyou.
Her:Youmadeitspeci
alf
orSi
m.Thanky
ouand
al
lthebestf
orexams.
Ther
esasoundi
nthebackgr
ound,
itsut
ata.But
umamagaspsandmoans.Euw!
Her
:Li
sten,
cal
lyoul
ater
.Il
ovey
ouby
e.
Shehangsupwi t
houthearingmyr esponse.
Sies!IcallSaziandwechatf orabitbeforeI
l
eav e.Imt aki
ngthet r
ainbackcausewet ook
Mel i
sizwescarher e.Igotorecepti
onandpay
formyr oom.Thencat chataxitothetrain
stati
on.Ibookat i
cketthenIleaveforstel
li
es.
Ther idei
sl ongprobablyanhourifnotmor e
andt hetrainisnotsopacked.

Iwalkf
rom thetrai
nstati
ontomyapar tment,
dropmybagsof fandknockonLaml asdoor.
Therei
snor esponse.Iknockagainbutthi
s
ti
meIturntheknobandt omysurpri
seitsopen.
Igoinandwal ktohisroom,whereIfindMark
bentoverandLamlaf ucki
nghim har
d.
Mark:BabyIm sor
ry.
..aahy
our
eint
oodeep.
..
f
uck..
.please.
..
It
urnandwal
kout
.Woah.
[
10/
29,
21:
24]Wadz
:£23
~Thando~
SeeingthewayLaml af uckedMar kmakesme
missMel i
sizwesdick.Yhoguy sthewayt hat
manf ucksmei stoogoodt oshar e.Iguess
that
swhyI mj eal
ousofYonel a.Shepr obabl
y
getsitonthedail
yandIgeti twhenuMel i
remember sIm hi
swi f
e.Mx m myf uck.My
phoner i
ngsanditshim.Nah, Im notinthe
moodf orhisfakecareandcr ocodiletear
s.
Honestly.
LamlaandMarkar
eshockedt
oseeme
l
oungingont
hecouch.
Them:
Hai
bo!
Me:Youguy
sar
ereal
l
yloudandaf
uckent
urn
on.
Theylookatmewi t
heyeswideopenandLamla
smir
ks.Weal l
laughandtheycomesi
tnextt
o
me.Mar kki
ssesmycheek.
Me:
Sies.Dontki
ssmewi
tht
hatbl
owj
obmout
h.
Mark:
Hahaohpl
easei
tsnotl
i
key
ouev
enknow
how.
Me:
Youdbesur
pri
sed.
Hi
m:Pr
ovei
t.
Me:
What
?
Hi
m:Yeah.Pr
ovei
t.
MeandLaml
a:How?
Markst
andsandgoestot
hefr
idge.Ohno.And
comesbackwit
hacucumber
.Ohshit.
Heput
siti
nfr
ontofme.
Hi
m:Suck.
Ilookathi
m,thenLaml
a,t
hent
hecucumber
thenMarkagain.
Me:
Arey
ouf
uckencr
azy
?
Hel
aughsandsodoesLaml
a.
Mar
k:Rel
axbabygi
rl
.Iwontdoany
thi
ngt
oyou.
Me:
No.I
mtoosoberf
ort
hisshi
tandbesi
des,
whatwi
l
lhappenwheni
gethor
ny?Wi
l
lyou
f
uckme?
Mar
klaughs
Me:
Exact
ly.Nowl
etsgoeat
.
Theylaughatme.Mxm t
hesei
diot
s.Wewalk
outhandinhandwit
hMarkandLamlaf
oll
ows
behi
ndus.

WeatMar ksplace,havingpi
zza,ri
bs,wingsand
wine.Theconvoisflowingandsoist hefun.
FuckIlovebei
ngar oundthesetwo.Theymake
mesohappyandf orgetaboutmymar i
ti
al
probl
emsandl i
fe.Myphoner ings,i
tsErin
Me:
Heyboo.
Her
:Mxm f
ucky
ou.
Me:
Hai
bo?
Her:
Areyouashamedofwhathappened
Thur
sday
?
Me:
No.
Her
:Thenwhyhav
eyoubeenav
oidi
ngme?
Me:Ihavent.Justt
hatwehav entspokenandI
wasgoingtocomesl eepovertheretoni
ghtso
wecancatchupandmov eonf rom what
happened.
Laml
a:(
whi
sper
ing)
whathappened?
Me:
(whi
sper
ing)f
uckof
f.
Er
in:
Oh.Wher
eyou?
Me:
Wit
hthecr
azi
es.
Her
:Putmeonspeaker
.
Iputt
hephoneonspeaker
Her
:Heyy
ouguy
s.
Them:
Heyboo.
Mar
k:Wanacomet
hrough?Wehav
ingwi
neand
f
ood.
Her
:Mostdef
.Shoul
dIbr
ingdesser
t?
Me:
Yeah.I
cecr
eam.
Mar
k:Andv
odkai
fyouhav
e.
Laml
a:Wehav
ethedash.
Me:
No,
nomor
eal
cohol
.
Her
:Argst
opbeingascar
dycat.Iwontdo
any
thi
ngtoyou,
youwontli
ke.
Mar
k:Woah!Wher
est
hatcomi
ngf
rom?
Bef
oreIcanopenmymout
hEr
inspeaks
Her
:TeeandIf
uckedonThur
sday
.
Theguy
sgaspandLaml
alaughs.
Mar
k:WhatTheFuck?Thando!
!!
!
Irol
lmyey esandgetupandgot otheki t
chen
togetanotherbott
leofwine.WhenIr eturnto
thelounge,MarkandLaml aaresucki ngface
andmyphonei sonthetableringing.Gosh
thesetwo.Ipickupwit
houtl ooking.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Mel
i
:Uphi
(wher
ear
eyou)
Me:
Out
.
Hi
m:Pl
easecomet
otheapar
tmentnow.
Me:
Fine.Gi
vemeanhour
.
Hi
m:No.NowThandokazi
.Now.
Hedr opsthecall
.Idontunder
standwhyhes
angryreal
l
y .Itur
nandLaml aisontopofMar k
gri
ndingonhi m.Real
ly?Thesetwo.Ipul
lthem
apart
.
Me:Takemehomeandt heny
ouguy
scanf
uck
unt
ilchr
ist
mascomes.
Laml
aisr
ockhar
dandhi
sey
esr
ed.
Hi
m:Yousuchaf
uckencockbl
ock.
Me:
Iknow.Let
sgo.
Befor
ehecankissMar
k,Ipul
lhi
m byhi
sar
m
anddraghi
m away.
Mar
k:I
llgety
ouf
ort
hisThando!
Ilaughandwal kout.I
nthecar,
Ical
lEri
nand
tellherthatI
m notgoi
ngtocomelaterbut
promi setoshecancomeov erMonday.Shes
cool wit
hev er
ythi
ng.

Iwalki
ntotheapar
tmentandMel
i
sizwei
s
si
tt
ingonthecouchdri
nki
ngsomebrownst
uff
.
Hi
m:Thando
Me:
Yes?
Him:Doyouknowhowhumil
i
ati
ngiti
stonot
knowwhereyourwi
fei
swhenbei
ngasked?
Me:
Icani
magi
ne.
Heyt
hisi
sthewi
net
alki
ng.Iswear
.
Hi
m:Yazi
undi
del
ewena(
your
esocheeky
).
Me:
Isi
t?
I
m socool
att
hismoment
,youguy
ashoul
dsee
me.
Me:
Whydi
dyoucal
l
?
Hi
m:Hai
bo.Whatki
ndofdumbquest
ioni
sthat
?
Me:
Onet
hatneedsananswer
.
Hi
m:Wher
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
Me:Answermyquest
ionf
ir
stbef
oreIanswer
your
s.
Hesof
tens
Hi
m:CauseImi
ssedy
ou.
Me:Heeeeee!!
!Hahahaamen!Why?I
sYonel
a
notgi
vi
ngy outhecooki
esoyour
eheret
oget
fr
om me?Shame!
Hi
m:Hai
bowher
eisal
loft
hiscomingf
rom?
Whyi
sYonel
aev
enint
hisconvo?
Me:Hayikal
oku,
wenay ouonl
yeverknowme
whenyouwantyourdi
cksuckedandwantto
poundmypussy.Well
keshame,it
sunavai
l
able
now.
Mel
i
sizwechuckl
es.
Hi
m:Meani
ng?
Me:Meani ngthatthis(poi
nti
ngt
omyhoneypot
)
i
snol ongeryours.Ithasanewowner
,who
poundsittil
li
tburns.
I
naspeedoflighteni
ng,
Mel
isi
zwehasgotme
bymythoatagainstt
hewal
l
.
Hi
m:Thando,
dontt
estme.
.
Me:
Im not
.Im bei
nghonest
..
Hemoveshi
sheadcl
oserandhi
shandhol
ds
myvag.
Hi
m:Thando,
dontpi
ssmeof
f.Ori
twi
l
lgetugl
y
Me:
Itsal
readyugl
y.
..
Hesmasheshi
sli
psonmineandImoan.As
muchasIwanthi
mtohaveme,Icantl
ethi
m
wal
kall
overmesoIpushhi
m offme.
Me:
GoMel
i
sizwe.Leav
e.Got
oYonel
a.
Him:Soy
oucangoandgetf
uckedbyot
her
guys?
Hesay
swhi
l
eli
ft
ingmyl
egsar
oundhi
swai
st
andgr
indi
ngonme.
Me:No.
..Mel
i
sizweI
m beggi
ngy
ou.Pl
easej
ust
l
eav
e.
Hesbr eathi
ngsoer
otical
lyandhisscent
heightensmytemptat
ion.ButIneedtoholdmy
ground.Ineedtost
opt hi
sbeforeIgi
veinand
pullhi
mi nmymouth.Hesi ghsandletsgoof
myl egssoIcanputthem down.Hehuf f
s.
Hi
m:Your
eal
l
ywantmet
oleav
e?
Me:
Yes.
Him:Fi
ne.Buti
fyoueverbri
ngamanov eror
f
indoutyou'
rebei
ngfuckedbysomeoneelse,
t
herewil
lbehellt
opay.Youhearme?
Inod.Andhet
urnst
oleav
e.

It
snowThursdayandI m moret
hanpreparedt
o
writ
emyfir
stexam.Im nerv
ousbutready.
Lamlaiscomingtofetchmeandwe'lldr
ive
toget
hert
oschool.Theresaknockonmydoor.
Me:
Comi
ng.
Igoopent
hedoorandi
tsMel
i
sizwe,
smi
l
ingat
me.
Hi
m:Hel
l
o.
Me:
Hi.I
m onmywayout
.
Her
aiseshi
sbr
owandl
i
ckshi
sli
ps.
Thatalonedoesthi
ngstomybodycauseI
coul
dr eal
lyneedhi
sdicktocal
m medown.But
Il
lbelateandmisstheexam
Hi
m:okay
.Ij
ustcamet
osayal
lthebestf
or
t
oday
.
Me:
Thanks.
Istepscloserandput shislipsonmi ne.I
respondimmedi atel
y .Icantresi
sthim.Ourki ss
i
ssl owandpassi onat easifwear eexplori
ng
eachotherforthef i
rsttime.Itsheavenl
y .Af
ter
awhi l
e,Ipullaway.
Me:
(i
nahoar
sev
oice)Ineedt
ogo.
Hi
m:Okay
.Wi
l
lcal
lyou.
Isaynothi
ngbecauseIknowhewi ll
.Asoflat
e,
he'sbei
ngattent
ive.Iwonder.ButkeasI
alwayssay,
whatishi ddenshall
bereveal
ed.
Hi
m: Babe,IgetitI
m hotbutcany
oust
op
st
ari
ng?Itscreepy.
Il
augh.
Me:
Nowy
ouknowhowIf
eltt
hef
ir
stdaywe
met
.
Hesmi
lesandpecksmeonemor
eti
meandwe
wal
kout.Laml
ahootshi
scar
.
Hi
m:Baby
!Come,
wegoi
ngt
obel
ate.
Meli
:Di
dhejustcal
lyou.
..
?Inf
rontof.
..
?Heee
i
yadel
alent
wana(Thi
sboydoesntseeme).
Me:Ha.aBhut
isuqalauchukukusasa(dont
st
artshi
tsoearl
y).
Helooksatmeandshakeshi
shead.Bef
oreI
geti
nthecar,
hesmoochesmeandspanksmy
ass,
makingmegr
oan.Hesmi
l
esandwi
nksat
me.Heee!
Theex am ishardasIexpect edbutIwas
preparedasal ways.Aftertheexam, LamlaandI
gof oricecr
eam andcat chupt henhedr opsme
athome.WhenIgett omyapar t
ment ,t
hereisa
gi
ftbymydoor .Ipickitupandgoi nwithit.I
gettot hekit
chenanddr i
nksomewat erthen
opent hegift
!Ohmyf uckinggoodness, you
havegott obebullshit
tingmer ightnow.Really?
[
10/
29,
21:
25]Wadz
:£24
~Thando~
It
sani nv
itati
on.Af uckeninvi
tati
ont o
Meli
sizweMv el
aseandYonel aGi yose'
s
wedding.Heee!Thi sgirl
hasgut s!Shestesting
menhe?IswearI m beingbewi t
chedr i
ghtnow.
Andi
li
ngwana?Hay itheyaretesti
ngmeand
tr
ustme, they'
llgetwhatsduet ot hem.Nx.No
wonderMel isi
zwewasbei ngniceandext ra.He
knowswhatwashappeni ng.I
m notmad.No, I
m
bi
tteranddi
sappoi
nted.Butnomore.I
vehad
enoughandthi
stime,thi
stimeImeanit.
Enough.
ThedooropensandMeli
sizwestepsinlooki
ng
al
lchocol
ateyandyummyi nhi
ssuitandtie.
Yeer
.
Hi
m:Heybaby
.
Ijustlookathim andshutt hedoorinhi sface
andl ock.Whatki ndoff ucker yi
sthis?What
kindofani ghtmar eam Il i
v i
ng?Justl astweek,
LASTWEEK, Il
ostmybaby !Andnow, my
husbandi sgetti
ngmar ried.When?Il ookatt he
i
nv it
ation.15July!Ar eyouf uckingjoking?
That smybi rt
hday .Howsel fi
shisonehuman
beinghe?Mel i
sizwei sbangi ngont hedoorbutI
couldntgi v
etwof ucks.Iml iv
idwithangerbutI
willnotcry.Imtiredofcr ying.Reall
yImt i
redof
thisli
fe.Thebangi ngst opswhi chmay
obv i
ouslymeanhe' sgone.
I
nmyr
oom,
Itakeoutmybooksandst
udy
.Let
mer
edi
rectmyangeratt
hesebooks.

Themorning,Iwakeupandshower .WhenIgo
out
,Im metbyMel i
sizweseyesst
aringatme,
bl
oodshotredandheshol di
ngaglass.
Hi
m:Goodmor
ning.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Igr
abanappl
e,mykey
sandat
temptt
oleav
e.
Hi
m:Uy
aphi
?(wher
ear
eyougoi
ng)
Me:
school
.
Hi
m:Buty
ounotwr
it
ing.
Me:
Im goi
ngt
othel
i
brar
y.
Hi
m:Wel
lineedt
otal
k.
Me:
Ther
esnot
hingt
otal
kabout
.Excuseme.
Iwalkoutandgot ot
hecar
.OnceI minthecar
,I
cal
lEri
nanddriv
eof f
.WeatMar kspl
ace
chi
ll
i
ngandchatting,
Eri
nhasbroughtheroka
pi
peandwear
esmoki
ngt
hat
.
Er
in:
You'
resoqui
etwhat
sup?
Me:
Not
hing.Youguy
sthi
nkt
hedeani
sin?
Lamla:
Yeah.Sawhi
scarwhenIdr
ovepast
ther
e.
Ist
andupandgetmyt
hings
Me:
Thanks.
Idri
vetocampus,got
or ecept
ionandaskto
seethedean.Thel
adysaysIshouldwaitf
or10
minsasheisinameetingthengoin.Isi
tand
makazical
ls
Me:
Yhuuu!
Her
: .Baby
!
Me:Mom di
esandy
ouf
orgetIexi
st.Mustbe
ni
ceeh?
Her
:Hai
boThando?
Me:It
str
ue.Whenlastdidwetal
k?WheneverI
cal
l
,youeit
herbusyorsayyou'
l
lgetbackt
ome
buty
ounev
erdo.
Her
:Thandoi
ts.
..
Me: Nothi
ngMakazi.It
snot hi
ng.Yousai
dyou'd
bethereformeandwer eyou?No.Noneofyou
were.Im al
lalonei
nthiswor l
dandIm dr
owning
butwenay oucouldntcarel
essbecauseI
m not
yourchil
disitnotso?
ShegoesquietsoIdr
opthecall
.Whydi d
mamahav etogososoon?Ther ecept
ioni
st
summonsmeandIgoi n.ThedeanandIt al
k
forawhi
leandIaskforatransf
er.
Him:Transf
er?Ar
eyounothappywi
tht
he
school
?
Me:Iwish.Thi
swasmyfi
rstchoi
cefrom t
he
getgo,
butthewaymyli
feissetup.
..
It
rai
lof
f.Icantcont
inueorI
llcr
y.
Hi
m:Youknow,runningawayfrom y
our
pr
obl
emsneversolvesanyt
hing.
Me:
Butwhati
fthat
stheonl
yopt
iony
ouv
egot
?
Hi
m:Buti
tdoesnthel
pbecausesoonerorl
ater
,
t
hey'
l
lcat
chupwithyou.
Me:IknowSir,
butsometi
meswalki
ngawayis
thebestt
hingyoucandofory
oursani
tyand
heart
.
Hesi
ghs
Hi
m:Well,
Icanonl
ytr
anf
ery
ouf
ornexty
ear
.
I
tsabi
tlat
enow.
Me:
Okay
.Thanky
ouSi
r.
Hi
m:i
tsapl
easur
e,al
lthebestf
ort
hef
utur
e.
Me:
Thanky
ousi
r.
Iexithisoff
icewithaheav
yheart
.Iwantedto
bet r
ansferr
edtoPEsoIcanbef arfr
om al
lthi
s
shitthatshappeni
nginmylif
e.Ij
ustneeda
breakf r
om ital
l.

Ifi
ndmyselfwal
ki
ngalongt
heshoreoft
he
beacht
hinki
ngaboutmybabyboy.Myfi
rst
child.Rippedf r
om mywombbyMel isi
zweand
hispr eciousYonela.Whyme?Whydi dmy
fatherdot hi
stome?Di dhehat emesomuch
thathedt hrowmei nthelionsden?Isitonthe
fl
oorandj ustlookouttothewat er
.Itsparkl
es
andgl istens.Onmyr ight,
isahappycoupl e.
Theyar ekissi
ngandl aughingandholding
hands.I tsgetti
ngcold,ti
met ogohome.
Igettomyapar tmentandMel ii
snotherebut
thepositi
onoft heinv
itat
ionhaschangedwhi ch
meanshesawi tandopenedi t
.Ist
artcooking
formy sel
fandeatwi thaglassofwat er
.Igetin
myr oom andopenmybookst ostudy.I
m
dist
urbedbymyphoner i
nging.I
tsmyaunt .I
contemplateonwhet herornotIshouldpickit
uporleaveit.Ipickup
Me:
Hel
l
o
Makazi
:
(sni
ff
ing)Hi
Thando.Howar
eyou?
Me:
Wel
lthanky
ouandy
our
sel
f?
Her
:Imf
ine.Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
Study
ing.I
m wr
it
ingexams.
Her
:Oh.Al
lthebest
.
Me:
Thanx.
.
Thel
inegoesqui
etforawhil
e,I
m eventhi
nki
ng
ofdr
oppi
ngthecall
butthenshespeaks
Her
:Im sor
ry.
I
m soti
redofpeopleapol
ogi
singfort
hingst
hat
t
heyareconsci
ousl
ydoingknowingverywel
lit
wi
llhur
tmyfeeli
ngs.Yeer
!
Her
:Im pr
egnantThandoandj
ustdi
dntknow
howtotel
lyou.
Thosewor
dspl
ungei
ntomyhear
tli
keakni
fe.
Me:
Oh?For6mont
hsy
oudi
dntknow?
Her
:.
..
.
Me: Oh.Congrat
ulat
ions.Iwishnothi
ngbutt
he
bestforyou.Youdeserveallthehappi
nesst
hat
thi
scruelworldhastooffer.I
mr eal
lyt
ir
ednow,
goodnight.
Her
:Pl
easedontbel
i
ket
hisThando.
Ijustcutthecal
l
.Iputmybooksawaywit
h
tearsfal
li
ngdownmyf ace.Ir
eal
l
yam al
one.

☆t
woweeksl
ater
..
.☆
Im wri
tingmyl astexam andIhav entheard
from Mel i
sizwemuchov ert
heweeksbutke, im
usedtoi t.Itoldhismom anddadt hatIpl
anon
spendingt heholidaysathomeandt heywere
coolwithi t
.Sot odayaft
ermyexam, Imtaki
nga
bushome.I ml eavi
nghiscarcausewher ewillI
putit
?Mybusl eavesinanhourandLaml ai
s
taki
ngmet her
e.Melisi
zwedoesntknowandI
dontcar e.
Lamlaar r
ivesanddropsmeof fatthetr
ain
stat
ionandwai tst
il
lthebusarri
ves.I
tdoesand
Igoinandhewav esmeof f
.Thedr i
veback
homei slongbutthankGoditsGreyhoundso
l
uxurioustravel
sbabes.Wearenear i
ng
TarkastadwhenMel i
sizwecal
ls.
Hi
m:Pl
easeopenup.
I
mtempt
edt
olaugh.
Me:
Icant
Hi
m:Wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
Tar
kast
ad.
Hi
m:What
?
Me:
Yep.
Hi
m:I
m conf
used.Wher
eist
hat
?
Ir
oll
myey
es
Me:
East
ernCape.
Hi
m:Yho.Whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
her
e?
Me:Hai
bowhatdoy
oumean?I
m her
eformy
hol
i
days.
Hi
m:I
m conf
used.
Me:
Hehake.Ndi
goduki
l
e(I
vegonehome)
!
Ther
eissi
l
encebet
weenus.
..
Hi
m:Enj
oy.
Andt
hel
i
negoesdead.Mx
m what
ever
.

Mal umepicksmeupfrom t
hebusstati
on,and
ther i
dehomeissi
lent
.Wit
hhim occasi
onall
y
glancingmyway.
Hi
m:Thando?
Me:
Mal
ume?
Hi
m:What
swr
ong?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Him:Ubhi
tyi
l
e(your
eski
nny
)andt
hespar
kin
yourey
esisgone.
Shoul
dIt
ell
him orkeepi
ttomy
sel
f?
Hi
m:I
syourhusbandmi
str
eat
ingy
ou?
I
m quietIdontknowwhatt
osay .Hesnot
beat
ingmeorany thi
nghor
ri
ble.
Me:
No.Justt
hat
,3weeksago,
Imi
sscar
ri
ed.
Theressi
lencebet
weenus,obv
iousl
yhes
shockedanddoesntknowwhattosay.
Hi
m:I
m sor
ry.
Ikeepqui
et.
Hi
m:Whydi
dnty
ousayany
thi
ng?
Me:
Towho?
Hi
m:Tomeorumakazi
.
Me: When?Causeev er
sinceshedied,y
ou
haventcal
ledtocheckuponmeormyst udies.
It
slikeyoudontevencare.Sotel
lmewhenwas
Isupposedtotel
lyouwheny ouandy oursister
mademef eel
li
keinkedama(anorphan)?
Hegoesqui etandsodoI .Ij
uststarttocry.Im
sosadatthedi recti
onofmyl if
e.Ibringmy
kneesupandputmyheadont hem andcur l
up
andcry.Ifeelahandonmyar m andIbr ush
him of
fandmov efurtheraway.Myhear tis
paini
ng.Andmyownf amilyhasleftme.If eel
soaloneanddr ained.
ThecarstopsandIlookup,we'r
eoutsi
demy
home.Iwishmymom woul dopenthedoor
causeImissoneofherhugsr i
ghtnow.Ireal
l
y
needone.Iwipemyt ear
sandgetout.Malume
hasalsobeensil
ent
lycryi
ngbesidemeand
l
ookssosad.
Hi
m:CanIcomeov
ert
oni
ght
?
Me:
okay
.
Hesaysnothi
ngandtakesmybags.Makazi
opensandmyjawdrops.Hert
ummyi sbi
gbut
notasbigast
hesmileonherf
ace.
Her
:Hibabyhow.
..whyareyoucry
ing?Bhut
i
umenzeni
umntwana(Bhut
iwhatdi
dy oudo)
?
Hesaysnot
hingandwalkspastherandi
nside
toputmybags.Makazipull
smei nf
orahug
andIst
andtheremoti
onless.Shewasl
iv
ingit
upwhil
eIwasdr y
ing.
Her
:Thandokazi
?
Me:
Makazi
?
Her
:Im sor
ryf
ornegl
ect
ingy
ou.Iam.
Ij
ustnodandgot omyr oom whereIl
ock
my selfi
nandclimbint
obedandj ustmell
ow
out.Ipulloneofmypil
lowscloseandjustcr
y
oni t
.WhatI dgi
vetobeinmymot hersarms
ri
ghtnow.
[
10/
29,
21:
25]Wadz
:£25
~Mel
i
sizwe~
HowcouldYoneladothi
s?Imfumingwith
anger
.Im enr
aged.Myphoner
ings,i
tsher
.
Me:
Yonel
a!
Her
:Hi
baby
.
Me:
Howcoul
dyoudosuchat
hing?
Her
:Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Me:Theweddinginvi
tat
ion!Thefucki
ng
weddingi
nvi
tat
ion.Whydidy ousendonet
o
uThandowit
houttal
kingtoem fi
rst?
Her
:Im sor
ryIdi
dntt
hinki
twoul
dbeabi
gdeal
.
Me:Itisabigdeal.Nowshesgone.Andi
fshe
l
eavesmeYonel a,Isweart
her
ewi l
lbeno
wedding,uy
andiva?
Her
:Hai
bo!
Idropt hecall.Nx.Im pissedof f.Idri
v etoher
apart mentandcal lher.Shesay sshesonher
wayhome.What ?Ivereall
yfuckedupt hi
st i
me.
Whatam Igoi ngt odo?I m notpr eparedt olose
her.Thi smaysoundsel fi
shbutIdontcar e.I
l
ov eThandokazi wholehear t
edlyandI m wi l
li
ng
toriski tal
ltobewi thher.Butatt hesamet i
me,
Istil
l l
ov eYonelaandIwantt omar r
yher ,
especi all
ynowknowi ngshest hemot herofmy
kid.Ithasntbeenay earandal readywear eon
ther ocks.Callmesel fi
shal l
youwant , ButIwill
notloseThando.

~Thando~
Imust
vef
all
enasl
eepbecauseIm wokenupby
aheav
yur
getopee.Igetupandgotot he
bathr
oom.I mt hi
rst
ybutthenaaah!I t
saf t
er
7pm, thewaterhasbeenswi t
chedof f.Whata
welcomehomeser vi
ce. .Iopent hefri
dge
andtheresjui
ceandwat er.Idri
nkthewat erand
tur
nt oleav
ebutMakazi isstandingthere.
Me:
Yhu!Dontdot
hat
!Myhear
tal
mostst
opped.
Her
:Im sor
rybaby
.
Shel
ooksl
i
keshesbeencr
ying.
Her
:Yourf
oodi
sint
hemi
cro.
Me:
Thanx.ButI
lleatl
ater
.
Her
:Thando?I
m sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss.
Inod.
Me:Congr
ats.It
houghty
ousai
dyouwer
e
bar
ren
Her:MetoocauseIwasntget
ti
ngpregnanti
n
mymar ri
agebutIguessi
twasfat
eswayof
say
ing,notnow.
Me:
Congr
atsany
way
.DoIknowt
hedad?
Shebl
ushes.
Her
:Yeah.I
tsDav
id.
Me:
Thewhi
teguy
?
Iexcl
aim,
almostchoki
ngonmysal
i
va.Woah!
Me:
Ishesuppor
ti
ve?
Her
:Al
ot.
Me:Thatsgood.Howl
onghav
eyoubeen
t
ogether
?
Her
:Al
mostt
woy
ear
s.
Woah!Wow.
Isaynothi
ng.Idonthav
etheener
gyt
osay
anyt
hing.
Me:
Okay
.
That
sallImanaget
osay
.Imt
ooshockedt
o
sayany
thing.
Her
:Canwet
alk?
Me:
Yeahi
nthemor
ning.I
mreal
l
yti
redf
rom al
l
t
het
rav
ell
i
ng.
Her
:Okaygoodni
ght
.
Me:
Yeahy
out
oo
Iwalkoutt
omyr oom andpl
ugmyear phonesin
andli
stent
o'RoseColour
edGlassesbyMill
ie
Jackson

"
IdontknowwhyIkeeponbel
i
evi
ngy
ouneed
me
Wheny
ou'
vepr
ovesomanyt
imesi
tai
ntt
rue
AndIcan'
tfi
ndar
easonf
orst
ayi
ng
May
bebyl
eav
ingwi
l
lbet
hebestf
ory
ou"

Thosefir
stl
inestwisttheknifethat
salr
eady
pl
ungedinmyhear t.Im hurt
ingandIcrymor e
asIpagethroughmeandMel i
sphotosfrom
begi
nningoftheyearwhenwehadourmi ni
honeymoon.Butallthatisoverandtheonly
thi
ngt hatsleftaretheashesofouronce
burninglove.Mymusi ci
sonshuf fl
eandIfeel
l
ikemyphonei sconnectedtomymoodas
Hav eYouEv erbyBrandyplays.AndIcat
chit
onthesecondv er
se

"Hav
eyouev
erf
oundt
heone
Youv
edr
eamedofal
lyourl
i
fe
You'
ddoj
ustaboutany
thi
ngt
olooki
ntot
hei
r
eyes
Hav
eyouf
inal
l
yfoundt
heone
You'
vegi
veny
ourhear
tto
Onl
ytof
indt
hatone,
wontguv
ethei
rhear
tto
you
Hav
eyouev
ercl
osedy
ourey
es
Anddr
eamedt
hatt
heywer
ether
e
Andally
oucandoi
swai
tfort
hedayt
hatt
hey
wil
lcar
e"
Icryev enharderasIt hinkaboutMel i
sizweand
hisfor biddenheart.I
m cr ushedandi t
sallmy
faul
t.Iv eleti
tgett hi
sf arandnowi tsti
met o
facet hemusi c.Theresasof tknockandIt el
l
them t ocomei n.Makazi walksinandsay s
nothing.Justl aysnextt omeandr ubsmyback
asIcr yi nherar ms.Ispeakt hroughmyt ears
Me:Hedoesnt.
..l
ove.
..me!Hewi
l
l.
..nev
erl
ove.
..
me.He'
smar r
yingher
!
Icryharderastheimageofhi m andherwalki
ng
i
nt hehouseholdinghandspopsi nmymi nd.I
replaythatf
atalni
ghtoverandov eri
nmyhead
andi t
slikemyheartwil
lexplode.
Maki
:Hmm.m nana.Pl
easeThandodontdo
t
hist
oyour
sel
f.
Icont
inuet
ocr
yunt
ilIf
all
asl
eep.

Themor
ningIwakeupwi
thaheav
yheadand
heart
.Imakemybedandgooutt ot
hekitchen.
Im wokenupbyadelici
ousar omaofbaconand
eggs.Yum.Igotothekitchenandfi
ndMakazi
cookingupastorm.Icantopenmyey es
properl
ybutIcanseeshesglowingandradiant
.
Me:
Mol
omakazi
Isayi
nahoar
sev
oice.
Her
:Hi
baby
.Whatar
eyoudoi
ngup?
Me:
Hai
bo.Icantbei
nbedt
hewhol
eday
.
Her
:It
scoldoutsi
deandy
esy
oucan.Goback
t
obedIm coming.
Itur
nandgobacktobedandshecomes
carr
yingat
raywi
thfood.
Me:
Letmehel
p
Her
:No.Letmef
eedy
ou.
Isi
gh.Defeat
ed.Andshewalksoutandcomes
backwit
hcoffeecupsandmorefood.Gosh
howmuchf oodhasshecooked.Shesit
sand
handsmemypl
ateandcup.
Her
:Hotchocol
ate.
Ismi
l
e.Mymomsr
emedyf
orev
ery
thi
ng.
Her
:Nowt
alkt
ome.
Me:
Wher
edoIst
art
?
Her
:Fr
om t
hebegi
nni
ng.
Isi
ghandgetti
ssuesfrom mybagoneforme
andoneforher
,thennarr
atet
hestor
yfr
om
begi
nni
ngtoend
Her
:Sohi
sdi
cki
sgood?
Il
augh
Me: Bett
erthangood.Wheni t
sinsi
deme,i
thas
thi
st hi
ngli
keitsvi
brat
inganditsbi
g.Tr
ustmeI
know.Ivehadsomanyor gasmswithhi
my ho.
Maki
laughssohar
d.
Her
:Andhi
stonguegame?
Me:
Damn!Onpoi
nt,
justt
hatIdonthav
ehi
s
hear
t.
Maki
looksatmeandseemssosadf
orme.
Her
:Soar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
opt
heweddi
ng?
Me:
No.
Her
:What
?
Me: NoIwont.I
llj
ustl
eave.He'l
lhat
eme
especi
all
yknowingshescarry
inghischi
l
dso.
..
Maki
:Whatdoy
oumeany
ou'
l
lleav
e?
Me:Divor
ce.Bef
oreIendupl
osi
ngmy
sel
fin
t
hissham ofamarri
age.

Theweekgoesbygr eatwi t
hMaki andI
reunit
ed,we'v
egonet olawy erst
ocheckmy
optionsfordi
vorce.ThankGodDav i
dborrowed
mehi slawyerssoIcangeti tdone.And
spendingtimewithhim andMaki .Satur
dayrol
l
s
aroundandI minal i
ghterair
iermood.Ive
becomehappi erandsmi l
inghome.I tmustbe
thefactt
hatI
vecomehome.AndIhav ent
spokentoMeli
sizwesincei
vecomehomebut
hesbeencall
i
ngandIev ent
ual
lybl
ockedhi
m.
Im heret
ogetawayfrom hi
m.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
I
v ebeent
ryi
ngtor eachThandobuttonoavai
l
.
EvenwhenSim called,
Thandodropped
i
mmedi at
elyaf
ter.NowI m goi
ngtoherhome
towntogoseeher .IhavetoImissher
.
Thef l
i
ghtisnotfastenoughandthedr i
v ei
s
worse.IgettoherhomeSat ur
dayev eningand
knockonherdoor .Sheopensupl ooki
nghel l
a
fi
neinbum shortsandanov ersi
zedshirt.I
tsmy
shi
rt.Shelooksgreatandshockedt oseeme
Her
:Bhut
i?
Me:
Heybabe.
Her
:Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Doesntshegett
ir
edofal
way
saski
ngmet
his
quest
ion?
Me:
Im her
etoseey
ousi
l
ly.CanIcomei
n?
Shestepsasi
deandwal kin.Sheseemsli
ke
sheshomealone.Idontli
kethisonebi
t.
Me:
Youhomeal
one?
Her
:Uhm y
eah.
Me:Arenty
ougoi
ngt
oof
fermesomet
hingt
o
dr
ink?
Shesst
unnedandqui
et.
Her
:Uhm y
eah.
Igotot hecouchandsi t.Shewal ksof fshaki
ng
hermagni fi
centbehi
nd.Imi ssherbody .It
s
beenov ertwomont hssinceI v
ehadt heliber
ty
oftasti
nghersweetpi e.Ont hecouchi san
envelopewr i
tt
enhername.Outofcur iosi
ty,I
openupandt akethedocument sout.Whatt he
fuck!
!!Divor
ce??
[
10/
29,
21:
26]Wadz
:£26
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Shewal
ksi
nandal
mostdr
opst
hegl
asses.
Her
:Whyar
eyour
eadi
ngmypr
ivat
edocument
s?
Me:
DIVORCE!
!!
!DI
VORCE?
Shedoesntanswerme
Me:
ANSWERME.
..
Her
:Whatot
heroptiondi
dyougiveme?You
get
ti
ngmarr
ied.I
tsconfi
rmed.Sowhatar
eyou
doi
ngwi
thmet hen?He?
Me:Il
oveyou.I
minl
ov ewit
hy ou.Iwi
shyoud
hearmewhenIsayt
his.I
vegrownt ol
oveyou.
Ist
andupandpullheri
ncl
oset
ome.Herbody
i
spressedagai
nstme
Iwhi
speri
nherear
.
Me:PleaseThando.Justgivemeunti
lendof
year
.Andifitdoesntchange,
theny
oucanleav
e
okay?
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe.
.
Imovemyhandt
oherbum andhol
dherinso
cl
oseandl
aymyheadonherneckandbegher.
Me:
Please.Onel
astchance.
Her
:Mel
i
sizweI
..
.
Imovemyl ipscl
osertoher
s.Shesbr
eat
hing
di
ff
erent
ly.Seduct
ivel
y.
Me:Tel
lmey oudontlovemeandIl
ll
eav
e.Ill
si
gnthepapersandleav
eyou.Tel
lmeplease.
Her
:Mel
i
...
Me:
Please.
..
Ifeel
mytearsthreat
eni
ngtofal
l.Theydo.I
f
shesaysshedoesntloveme,I
llbr
eak.I
twil
lki
l
l
mebecauseImi nlovewit
hher.
Imov emyl i
pscloserandkissher.Wi
thmy
tear
sstil
lrol
li
ngdownmyf ace.Thisi
sthef
ir
st
ti
meI veeverbeenv uner
abl
et oanywoman
besi
desmymot her.
Herl i
pst asteofcool lemonade.Mmmm. .
.i
slowlyunbut t
onhershi rtandmakemywayt o
herneck.Shegi vesmeper mi ssionandi kiss
hersof tneck.Shehast hosel it
tlef reckl
eson
herneckandherski nissof tl
ikecot toncandy .
Del i
ci
ous!Isl owlyr emov et heshi rtandher
breastsar eexposed.Oh, Iliket his.Ilikethisa
l
ot .Myhandsski m ov erthem cuppi ngeachone
i
nmyhand, Ismileandmov emyl i
pst okiss
eachone.Herni ppl eshar denundermycool
breathasi blowandsuckeachone.Shesmy
muse.Wi thmyhands, Iunbot tonhershor ts.
Shef li
psusov erandr ipsmyshi rtopen.And
kissesmyneck.Ir ollusov eragai nand
cont i
nuewi thmyt orture.It akehershor t
sof f
andf oll
owwi ththem, kissingherf latbell
yal ong
theway .Shehasabel lyringi n,woah, whendi d
shegett hi
s?Fuck, focus.
Hersweetmoansandgaspsar ewhatkeepme
goi
ng.Ievent
uall
yreachhercast
leandshes
weari
nglacepanti
es.Myfavouri
te.Iopenher
l
egswiderandskim mytongueovert
hepanties.
Shemoans.Idoitagai
nbutthist
imei sl
i
ghtl
y
pul
lherpant
iesup.Myhandgrabstheedges
andIslowl
yteart
hem off
.Hergaspisaudibl
e
anditmakesmesmi l
e..
.

~Thando~
Withev erystr
okeandt hrust,Icanfeel
Melisizwesneedf orme.Mybody .Hisdesir
ef or
myl ov eandpassi onforme.I nthismoment ,i
m
notthinki ngaboutourf ightsandmyemot i
ons.
I
nt hismoment ,I
mt hi
nkingaboutusandal lthe
possibilit
iesourf utureholds.Inthi
smoment , I
feelMel i
sizweslov eformeandmi nef
orhim.
I
m bui lding,higherandhi gherandhesher ewi t
h
me, takingmet her e.
Hi
m:Letgobaby
..
.
Idoandmypl easurerel
eases,l
eav
ingme
scr
eamingandgaspi ngforai
r.Mel
isi
zwe
fol
l
owssuitandcr ashesontopofmel i
kea
l
eat
herbl
anket
.Herol
l
soverandlay
shishead
onmychestaswebot
hcatchourbreat
hs.
Hi
m:Pl
easedontl
eav
eme
I
tsasobandpl eai
none.Hi
sv oi
cesounds
broken.ButIhavet
ostandonmyownt wofeet
.
BecauseasmuchasIl ovehi
m andwanthimt o
haveme, al
lofme,hedoesntdeser
veme.
Hi
m: I
llwor
konmy
sel
fThando,
Il
lwor
konus
j
ust
..
.
Me:Howmanyt i
meshav ey ousaidsomyl ove?
Butyouractionssangadif ferenttune.
Meli
sizwe,wi t
heverypassingdayt haty
oudont
cal
lortextmeorl eaveafterourl ovesessi
ons,
you'
reslowlybutsurel
ybreaki ngme.I m
begi
nningt obecomear eflectionofmyf or
mer
sel
fandi tpainsme.
Him:Iknow,butever
yti
meIt ryt
heresal
way s
somethi
ngthatrui
nsital
l.ThandoIam try
ing,
bel
iev
emewhenIsayt his.Buti
tsnoteasyfor
me.It
snoexcusef orbr
eakingyourheart
though,
real
l
yitisntbutdontgi
veuponi
sso
easil
ymylove.Thatsall
Iask.
Idontknowwhatt
osay
.Shoul
dI?

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Themor ni
ngIwakeupnextt oasl eepi
ng
Thando.Shesbreathi
ngsosof tl
y.Herfeat
ures
arebeauti
ful
onherdel i
cateface.Herl
ipspink
andplump.Iwanttokissthem always.Imov e
cl
oserandplantasoftkissont hem.Shesmi l
es.
Imoveandpl ay
full
ybiteherear.
Her
:Ow!Babe.
..
Thewayshesay sthatmakesmesmile.She
suddenlymovesandpinsmeunderher.Shes
radi
ant.Mor
ningdefi
natel
yagr
eeswit
hher .
Her
:Goodmor
ning.
Me:
Goodm.
..
Herl
i
psar
einst
ant
lyonmi
ne.Thi
smakesmy
heartsmi le.Shegoesl owerwi thherkisses
unti
l sher eachesmyMandi ngo , icantsee
whatshesdoi ngbutIf eelhermout honme.
Fuck, Ibecomehar der.Thet i
pofhert ongueis
onmyt ipandhermout hwr appedar oundme.
Damnt hatf eelsgood.Igr oanandshest art
s
mov ing.Thewaymydi ckfeelswheni thitsthe
backofhert hroatisindescr i
bable.Whyi sshe
tort
ur i
ngmeso?I m starti
ngt ogethar derand
harder .Ifeel li
kemyv ei nsaregoingt oexplode,
fuck.Im al mostt herewhenshest ops.What ?
Why ?Iat t
emptt ol i
ftmyheadbutshepi nsme
downwi thaki ss, sheshi f
tsont opofmeand
gri
ndshercoochi eagai nstmyt hrobbi
ngcock.I
needt openet r
ate.Ihav etorelease.Whyi sshe
punishi ngmel i
ket hi
s?
I
m al
mostaboutt
ogiveupwhenshesli
psme
i
nsi
deofher
.Yes!Andshest
art
smoving..
.

~Thando~
Themor ni
ngsessi
onwi t
hMelisi
zwewas
phenomanalbutknowinghim,i
twil
lbeshort
l
ived.Hesint
hekitchencooki
ngandsingi
ngto
somesongIdontknowbuti tgoes

"
Ican'
thi
dei
tandIcan'
tfakei
t,baby
Thi
sti
mei
sforr
eal
Thel
ovewehav
eisnotmi
staken,
baby
If
eel
it'
sgonnal
ast
Causegi
rlIl
ovey
ou(
Ilov
eyou)
Ooohmybaby
Myl
ovei
str
ue(
It
str
ue)
AndI
lldoany
thi
ng
Al
lfory
ou"

Hi
ssingi
ngi
sspectacul
arsomuchsot
hati
t
makesmeblush.
Me:
Youcansi
ng?
Het
urnsandf
lashesabeaut
if
ulsmi
l
emyway
.
Hi
m:Howl
onghav
eyoubeenst
andi
ngt
her
e?
Me:
Longenoughtohearhowbeaut
if
ull
y
mel
odi
cyourvoi
ceis.
Hesmi
l
es,
wel
lmor
eli
kebl
ushes
Hi
m:Thanky
oubaby
..
.
Me:
HowcomeI
venev
erhear
dyousi
ngbef
ore?
Him:Youwer
eprobabl
ysleepi
ng.Youremy
onl
ywomanwhosev erheardmesing.Wel
l
,
owneduptoi
t.
Ibl
ushathiswor
dsandhebi
teshi
sli
p
seduct
ivel
y.
Hi
m:Youl
ookamazi
ngi
nmycl
othes.
Me:I
sthaty
ourwayofper
mit
ti
ngmet
owear
t
hem?
Hel
aughs.
Hi
m:What stheuseoft
hatcausey
ouwear
t
hem ei
therway.
Iblushandgoov
ert
ohi
m andki
sshi
m ont
he
l
ips.
Hi
m:Yout
ast
ereal
l
ygood.
Me:Sodoyou.Mustbet
hehungerwehav
efor
eachot
her
.
Hi
m:No,
itsbecausewel
oveeachot
her
.
Ibur
ymyheadi nhischestandgiggl
e.Gosh,
whyishedoingthi
stome?Maki ngmef eelal
l
l
oveydoveyandgooeyinside?
AfterbreakfastwewashandIt akehim ontour
toQueenst own, wegototheCasi noandhav e
somef unt hengoeatat,correctmei fI
m wr ong,
Buddies,wher eDagwoodusedt obe.Wechat
andeatandki ss.Li
kewewer einourownl i
ttl
e
l
ovebubbl e.IjustwishIcoul
dt akethis
momentandputi ti
nasealablecontainerand
keepitforever.Butasweal l
know, nothing
l
ast
sforev
er ,
especi
all
ywheni
tcomest
o
mat
ter
soft heheart
.

Thef ollowingmor ning, wemadesweet ,div i

ne
l
ov eandt henIwat chedhi ml eave.Myhear t
brokebutIknewi twasgoi ngtohappen.That
ni
ght ,Isati nbedandr eminensedont heev ents
oft heweekend.Ir eal
isedt hatImt ooinlov e
withMel i
sizwet oseet hathe' l
lneverbemi neto
hav eandt ohol d.I nnot ime, Iwil
lbeshar ing
hi
m wi thanot herandf ort hef i
rstt
ime, Iwasnot
angr y,orbitter.Iwascont ent.Hecameal l the
wayf r
om CapeTownt obewi t
hmeandt hat s
enoughf orme.Butdi dt hismeant hatdivor ce
wasof fthecar ds?Notachance.ButIhadt obe
strategicabouti t.Ihadt oleavewithmy
educat ioninhand.Soi tsbackt othedr awi ng
boar d.
YesIloveMel
i
sizweandprobabl
yal
way swi
l
l,
butIdeser
vemorethabwhathesof
fer
ingme.
Hehasuntilt
heendoft heyeartopr
ovewhyI
shoul
dstayandifnot,
hecanki ssmyjui
cy
pussygoodbye.Tohel
lwiththi
sshit
.
[
10/
29,
21:
26]Wadz
:£27
~Thando~
Thehol i
dayisalmostov erbutIdontwanti tto
end.Beinghomei sthebest .Itstruewhent hey
saythere'
snopl acelikehome.Makazi has
encouragedmet ogot ot heweddi ng.
Somet hi
ngaboutbei ngt hebi ggerper sonand
showingmyhusbandsuppor t.Psht .Ij
ustr ol
led
myey es.Butshesr i
ght.May beIshoul dgo.Ina
sexynumbert hatstasteful l
yreveal i
ngandey e
catchi
ng.Lamlasai dhesf oundt heper fect
dressandEr i
ntheshoes.Mar ksai dhe'lldomy
makeupandLaml a'
shai rdresser,myhai r.I
m
prett
ymuchsor t
edoutwi thoutlift
ingaf i
nger.
Andwor stofall,
Ihav entt ol
dt hem aboutmy
tr
ansfer.Yep,youhear dright,I
m st il
l
tr
ansferri
ngtoPEandIgotabur sarythats
will
i
ngt opayf ormyaccomodat i
onandf ees.
Well,Davidgoti tf
rom me.Hisdadisan
accountantandwhenhesawmymat ricresult
s
andmar ksf rom myJuneexams, whichi barel
y
didgoodi n, Igot80and81imagine?Me?I
knowv arsityis10xhardert
hanschool butstil
l
.I
knowwhatI m capableofandmymar ksare
mediocref ormyst andar
dtobehonest .

Anyway,MakiandIar einEastLondom fort

he
weekendthenIl
ltakeaf l
ightSundayeveni
ng
andspendtheweekl eadinguptotheweekend
wit
hLaml aandMar k.Davidhasinvi
tedusover
tohi
sparentshousef orsupperandMaki i
s
ner
vousashell.
Her
:Whati
ftheythi
nkIm aft
ert
hei
rsons
money
?Whatiftheydonrli
keme?
Me:WhatdoesDavi
ddo?Calm downy our
e
goi
ngtostr
essyour
sel
fandthekids,pl
ease.
Andbesi
des,whywoul
dntt
heylikeyou?Thisi
s
nottheapar
thei
deramakazi.Mixedrace
rel
ati
onshi
psareall
owed.Theycantnotli
key
ou
becauseofthecol
ourofyourski
n.
Her
:Okay
.Your
eri
ght
..
.
Shest
opspaci
ngar
oundandcomesov
ert
o
me.
Her
:Youl
i
keDav
idr
ight
?
Me:Wel
l
,Idontknowhimthatwellbutsi
nce
youl
i
kehim hemustbecoolr
ight
.
Her
:Yeah.
Me:
Isheanygoodi
nthesack?
Her:
Yho.
..hegivesagr
eatf
uck.
..hi
sst
roke
gameisonpointandhi
sfor
epl
ay?Ooooo!
Me:
Uhm,
okay
.
Dav
idknocksandcomesi
nlooki
nggood.
Me:
Hel
l
o..
.
Hi
m:Heycut
ie.
Ismile.Davi
diskindofoldyouguys,l
i
keinhis
40sandwi thnopreviouski
ds.Thandi
swais
carr
yinghisfi
rstchi
ld,whi
chhapenstobea
babyboy .
Hi
m:Babyy
ouokay
?
Her:
Im ner
vous,
Ineedsomet
hingt
ocal
m me
down.
Hi
m:Whatwoul
dyoul
i
ke?
Her
:You.
Me:
Euw!NoThandi
swa.
Theybot
hlaughandwel
eav
e.

Hispar
entsar
eli
kesuperexci
tedandpr
ett
y
chi
ll
edpeopl
e
Mom:
Soy
our
eal
somar
ri
ed?
Me:
Yesma'
am.
Mom:
Ohnohoney
,cal
lmeCar
ol.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Idontt
hinkI
llbecomf
ort
abl
ecal
l
ingy
ou
t
hat
.
Dav
id:
Dinner
sreadycome.
Thandi
swai
ssoqui
ett
squi
tehi
l
ari
ous.
Wegooutt othegardenar eaandohgoshit
s
beauti
ful
.Therearel
it
tlefair
yli
ght
sandroses
andcandlesevery
wher e.I
nthemiddl
eisa
smil
ingDavidinaformal sui
tandbowti
e.
Every
oneislockedintheirpl
ace.
Mom:
Dav
id,
what
sgoi
ngon?
Hecomesov erandt akesThandiswa'shand
whoi slockedandwi thhermout hopen.He
takeshertothemi ddleareaandpul l
souta
chairforhertosi
t.Thenhedoest he
unexpectedandgoesdownononeknee, I
m
speechlessandcryingIthink.Wecanthear
whathessay ingbutwhat everhessaidhasgot
Thandiswaemot i
onal andint ear
s,shenodsher
headwhichobv
iousl
ymeansshesaccept
ed
andisnowsqueal
ingwi
thexci
tement
.

Dinnerisfil
ledwi thlaughterand
congratul
ationsar ef l
owing.Ifeelapangof
j
ealousyf orThandi swaandDav id.Theyhav i
ng
i
tallwhileIm st uckinonepl ace.WillIeverget
afair
ytalepr oposal andmar ri
age?Pr obably
neverandt hathur tsmei nthedeepestpar tof
mysoul .Butr egardless,I
m happyf orher.
Aft
erdi
nner,Davidtakesmebacktoourhotel
andheandThandi swagoelsewher
e.Ishower
andgetint
obed.Mel isi
zwecal
lsmeasIm
aboutt
odriftof
f.
Me:
Hey
.
Hi
m:Hi
.What
swr
ong?
Me:
Not
hing.
Hi
m:Tal
ktomebaby
.
Me:
Iguessi
mjustdowncauset
hehol
i
dayi
s
al
mostov
ery
ouknow?
Hi
m:I
m sor
rymysugar
-sweet
ness.
Igi
ggl
e.Whati
shedoi
ngt
ome?
Hi
m: Yourfl
i
ghtisreadyt
omorr
ow.Icantwait
t
ohav eyoubackinmyarms.Imisdyoutoo
much.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oo.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumyThando.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
Icanhearhi
ssmil
eandhedr
opst
hecal
l
.Wel
l
,
goodni
ghttoyout
oo.

Myf l
ightbackisshortandmyluggagealot.
Thandi swahasboughtmealotofclothesand
sexylingeri
eandshoes.It
sherwayof
apologisingpr
operl
yasshesays.
Laml
aist
heonetopickmeupfr
om t
heai
rport
andwegotohi
shouse.Al
ongt
hewayhetel
ls
mehescheatedonMar
kandwant
stoknowi
f
hemustt
ellhi
m.
Him:Itwasj
ustakiss.Not
hingmor
ebuti
ts
eati
ngmeupi nsi
de.
Me:
Yho.Why
dyoudoi
t?
Hi
m:Idontknow.
Me:Wellbabe,thinkaboutitthi
sway ,
isit
eati
ngyouupi nside?Ifyoutell
him wi
lly
oube
happywit
hy ourself?Areyoureadytori
skital
l
fort
hesakeoft ruth?
Hegoesqui
etandsodoI
.
Theweekki ndofroll
sov erquickl
yandbef oreI
knowi t
,it
stheeveoft heweddi ng.My
emot i
onsareal
lov erbutIrefuset ol
etsadness
win.Eri
n,MarkandLaml acheermeupby
taki
ngmeoutandhav i
ngaf unday .Lamlatold
Mar kanditwasallgood.Mar kdidbl owagas
butcooledofft
hef oll
owingday .Iadmired
thesetwo.Thatnightwepl aykar aoke.
Ev
eryoneissingingjoyf
ulsongsandwheni
ts
myturntopick,IpickUsher
-Separ
ated.

"
Ifl
ovewasabi
rd
Thenwewoul
dnthav
ewi
ngs
I
flov
ewast
hesky
,we'
dbebl
ue.
I
flov
ewasachoi
r
YouandIcoul
dnev
ersi
ng
Causel
ovei
sntf
ormeandy
ou

I
fIwasanoscar
YouandIcoul
dnev
erwi
n
Causewecannev
eractoutourpar
ts
I
flov
eist
heBi
ble
Thenwear
elosti
nsi
n
Becausei
tsnoti
nourhear
ts.
Sowhydonty
ougoy
ourway
AndI
llgomi
ne
Li
vey
ourl
i
fe
AndI
lll
i
vemi
ne
Babyy
ou'
l
ldowel
l
AndI
llbef
ine
Causewe'
rebet
terof
f
Separ
ated"

Thissonghitsanervebutitstr
ue.Wear eatthe
barandpeopleareclappingandcheering.
Seemsl i
ketherear
eal otofbrokenheartsi
n
here,
waiti
ngt obepiecedbacktogether.

It
sSatur
day,t
hedayoft hewedding.Iwakeup
earl
yandgetdressed.Iwearabacklessbody
huggerwi ththinkstrapst ohol dit.Ithasasmal l
mer mai dtr
ainatthebot tom andi tsagentle
peachi ncolour.Theshoesar eanudeandsoi s
mymakeup.Mar kssty l
i
st, Jude, washesand
dyesmyhai radar kredandst raightensitand
gelsit.Thentiesitupi ntoabeaut if
ul bi
gbun
andt helookisf i
nishedof fbydi amonear r
ings
thatfallatmysi des.Iml ookingbey ond
beaut i
fulandmyl ipsaf ieryred.Er i
n,Lamlaand
Mar kalsocomewi t
hme.Asmydat estothe
weddi ng.
Wear riveal it
tl
elat
eattheweddi ng,
andal l
eyesar eonusaswemakeourwaydownnear
thealtertot he3rdrow.Melisi
zwesey esare
almostpoppi ngoutofhishead.Heswear inga
formal tuxandhast ri
mmedhi shairandbear d.
Hel ooksgood.Thesongpl aysandev ery
one
standsasYonel awalksdownt heisl
ei na
beautifuldressthatsl
ightl
yshowsof fherbump.
Im calm asacucumberandSi phekeeps
steali
nggl ancesatme.Mel isi
zwesey esare
gl
uedonher,unl
ikemewhenIcamedownt he
i
sle.Thebi
tt
erthoughtcomesunbi
ddent
omy
mindandIdismissiti
mmediat
ely
.

Thei
rv owsaresofullofloveandatsomepoi nt
atearescapesdownMel i
si
zwesey eashesay s
hi
sv ows.MyheartclenchesandIbr eatheinto
avoi
dmyt ear
sfal
li
ngdownmyf ace.Igr abErin
andLaml ashandsandgent lysqueeze.Mar k
l
ooksatmeandr eachesov erandbr ushesmy
l
egandIsmi l
e.Hemout hs"Arey ouokay ?"and
Inod.
Pastor:I
fanyone,
shouldseekar
easonasto
whyt heset
woshouldnotbewed,speaknowor
for
everholdyourpeace.
Melisi
zwestealsalookmywayandsodoot her
peoplebutIholdmycomposur eandl ookatthe
crossbehindthepast orasIthi
nkaboutthe
Lordandf ai
th.Theweddi ngproceedsand
peoplearecelebrat
ing.Im hol
dingEri
nshandas
west
ayseatedandwai
tforev
eryonetol
eav
e.
Mar
kkissesmycheekasweexitl
ast.

Atther
ecepti
on,wesi
tandeattheappetiser
s
andchatamongstour
sel
ves.Thegroom and
bri
desdancecomesonandtheystandand
dancetoGiv
ingMysel
fbyJennif
erHudson

"
Im gi
vi
ngmysel
fov
ert
oyou
Bodyandsoul
I
m gi
vi
ngi
tov
er
I
m gi
vi
ngmy
sel
fov
ert
oyounow"

Thewayhel ooksint
ohereyesandsmilesat
her.Shelaysherhandonhischestandhesi ngs
i
nherear .Thelooksoinl
oveandhappyt hatIm
start
ingt
of eelli
keathi
rdwheel.Theunwanted
pi
ecet oanal r
eadycomplet
epuzzle.It
hinkthis
i
smycuet ol
eave.Mythroatfeel
sli
keits
closi
ngupandnoti nagoodway .Iwonderi
f
therearentanynutsinthi
sfood.Ical
lovert
he
waiter
,bynowI m star
ti
ngtolosebreath
Me:
Aret
heanynut
sint
hisf
ood?
Her
:Yesi
ntheappet
izer
s.
Igr
abEr
inshandandshel
ooksatmeshocked
Her
:What
swr
ong?Yourf
acei
stur
ningpal
e.
Ipoi
ntt
omyt
hroat
.Thent
hef
ood.
Her
:Ohno.Nut
s?
Inodmyheadandcanf eel
myt
earsrol
li
ng
down.I
m suf
focat
ingandmyvi
sionbl
urr
ing.
Me:
Hospi
tal
.
I
sallIcanutterandletthetearsfal
l.Markpics
meupbr i
dalstyleandrunswi t
hmeacr ossthe
hal
ltothedoor.Throughblurryeyes,Isee
Meli
sizwestandandt hefamilytoowhenwe' re
bythedoor.Bythetimewegeti nt
ot hecar,
my
t
hroatcompl
etel
ycl
osesandt
hen,
li
ght
sout
.
[
10/
29,
21:
26]Wadz
:£28
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thi
sbigwhit
eguyishol
dingThandobr
idal
styl
e
andrunni
ngoutwi
thher
.Istandandsodoes
Yonel
a.Mydadcal
msev ery
onedownand
comesovert
ome
Him:Si
tandst
ay.I
m goi
ngwi
thNal
edi
togo
seeher
.
Sazi
comesr
unni
ngt
othet
abl
e
Her
:Ar
ether
enut
sint
hef
ood?
Yonel
a:Yeahwhy
?
Sazi
:Ohno.Si
sKanyii
shi
ghl
yal
l
ergi
ctonut
s.
Li
kedeadl
yall
ergi
c.
Yonel
a:Ohno.
..
Shestar
tstocr
y.Iguessshefeelsguil
ty.How
canInotknowthatThandoisal
lergi
ctonut s?
Whatthefucki
swr ongwit
hme?Icomf ort
Yonelareassuri
nghert hatitsnotherfaultand
shecalmsdown.Thef esti
vi
tiesconti
nueas
normalandev eryoneenj oy
st hemself
.Tocal m
Yol
andadownandgetbackt ous, Isl
owdance
ustoLaSaucef eatur
ingAmandaBl ack-Ido.
Sheglowingandsmi l
ingandki ssesmyl i
ps,but
notthewayt handodoes.Wedancet othesong,
mymi ndonThandoandwhet herornotshes
al
ri
ght.

~Thando~
Iwakeupinhospi
tal
wit
hEri
ncry
ingbymysi
de
brushi
ngmyhandbackandf
ort
h.
Me:
Hey
.
Shelif
tsherhead,
get
supandt
hrowsherar
ms
aroundme.
Her
:OhmyGoodnessThando,
youscar
edme.
Me:
Whatdayi
sit
?
Her
:It
sSundaybabe.
Me:
Oh.
..di
dMel
i
sizwecomet
ovi
sit
?
Sheshakesherheadno.Okay.Thatsenough
confi
rmati
onforme.I
mt roughwithhi
m.Ti me
toservehi
mthepaperstomorrow.Im outof
thi
s.Nothi
nghecansayordowi l
lchangemy
mindthist
ime.Ial
mostdieandhedoesntset
foott
ocomeseeme?Wow.
Thedrcomesi nanddi schargesme.Hehands
mesomepaper stosignwhi chIdo,apparentl
y
mymedi calbi
ll
hasbeenset tl
ed,anda
prescri
ptionnote.LamlaandMar kcomet o
fetchusandwepassbyt hepharmacyf i
rst.The
wholedayt heybabymei tssocut e.
Lamla:Yhowhenyoustoppedbr
eat
hingI
thoughti
twastheend.
Mark:Youscar
edusboo.
..
dontev
erdot
hat
agai
nokay?
Me:
Im sor
ryy
ouguy
s.
Laml
a:Youri
nlawscameandsai
dIshoul
dcal
l
wheny
ouwakeup.
Me:
Didy
ou?
Lamla:
yeahbuti
trungunt
ili
twentt
ovoi
ce
mail
.
Me:
Mar
k?Your
eal
awy
err
ight
?
Mar
klaughs
Hi
m:Hawy
oudoubtme?
Me:No.Justt
hatIwantt odr
aftmydivorce
paper
sandhav ethem ser
vedtomeli
sziwe
tomorr
owmor ningathismother
shouse.Im
done.
Ev
ery
onegoessi
l
ent
.
Mar
k:Ar
eyousur
eaboutt
his?
Inod.

TheMondayIwakeupandshowerandgot o
theki
tchen.I
m atmyhouse.Theresaknockon
mydoorandwhenIopen, I
m attackedbyahug
byMel
i
sizwe.Ist
andf
rozenandj
ustl
ookat
hi
m.
Hi
m:Ar
eyouokay
?
Isaynot
hingandstil
ll
ookathi
m.Nowor
ds,
no
emoti
on,noreact
ion.
Me:
Excuseme,
Ihav
esomewher
etobe.
Iwal
kpasthi
m andoutt
hedoor
.
Me:
Iwantt
olock.
Hi
m:ThandoI
..
.
Me:
Sav
eit
.
HewalksoutandIlockupandgo.Igetint
othe
caranddri
veofft
oJudesSalon.Igett
hereand
si
tinhischai
r.
Hi
m:Heyboo.
Me:
Heyl
ovel
y.
Hi
m:Whatcani
dot
othegor
geoushai
r?
Me:
Cuti
t.
Hegoesqui
et.I
nfactt
hewhol
esal
ondoes.
Hi
m:Li
kei
nast
yle?
Me:
No,
ALL.Chi
skop.
Hi
m:What
?No.
Iat
temptt
ost
and
Hi
m:Why
?
Me:
Wil
lyoudoi
tormustIgoel
sewher
e?
Hegoesquietandsummonssomeguyt odoit
.
Hecomesov er,smilesatmeseduct ivel
yandI
j
ustblankl
ystareathim.Hecut sitall
off.AndI
askformyhair.Hel ooksatmewei rdbut
nonethel
essgivesittomei naplasti
c.Ipayand
walkout.Wit
hst ar
esasIl eav
e.
?
:Mhl
eakazenzi
shame(
shesanat
ural
beaut
y).
OneladysaysandIsmileasIshutthedoor.I
geti
ntomycaranddr i
vetoMar ksoff
ices,
whereIfi
nal
isemydivorcepaperswit
hhi m.
YeahMarkisoldert
hanallofus,hes26anda
greatl
awyer
.SothatswhyIwentt ohi
m.He'll
bemydefenceattorney,f
reeofcharge.He
real
lyi
ssweet.Hesay sthatbyWednesday ,
withmydemands, ever
ythi
ngwillbefi
nali
sed.
Hessureofit
.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
ThewayThandodismissedmesay
sital
l.Shes
beyondhur
tandasalways,i
tsmyf
aul
t.
Yonel
a:Howi
sshe?
Me:
Okay
.
Her
:Im sor
rybaby
.Idi
dntknow.
Me:I
tsokaydontst
ressabouti
t.What
sfor
di
nner
?
Her:
Beefst
ewandr
ice.Wantmet
odi
shf
or
you?
Me:
Not
hanksbabe.I
m goi
ngt
obed.
Her
:Bet
her
enow.
Thenextmorni
ng,t
heresar
ingatt
hedoor
.Igo
geti
tandther
esthepostman.
Hi
m:Pl
easesi
gnsi
r.
Isi
gnandt hankhi m.I
tsabrownenvelopewith
mynameoni t.Igotothetabl
eandopen.Its
papers,
divor
cepaper s.Fr
om Thando.Fuck!I
runupstai
rsandt akemyphoneandcal lmydad.
Hi
m:Hel
l
o
Me:
Shesser
vedmewi
thdi
vor
cepaper
s.
Myv oiceisawhi sperasIm dev astatedasIsay
thi
s.Myhear tisslowlytearsinmychest .I
beggedhernott odot his,maybey est erdaywas
thelaststr
aw.Im hurti
ngsohur tbyt his.Yonel
a
comesoutwr appedinat owel andIjustl ookat
her.Igointotheshoweranddomybusi ness.
Thengetout .Iwearmysui t,
cal l
myl awy er
s
andgot otheiroffi
ces.Theythinkt hat
everyt
hinginthereseemsf ai
randWednesday
wewi l
lallmeett ofi
naliseeveryt
hing.Sosoon?
Butthereisnopoi ntindraggingthisout.I
nthe
sett
lement,itstat
est hatImaynotseeherunt i
l
ever
y t
hingisfinal
ised.Fuck!Imlost.Idont
knowwhatt odo.Myhandsar et
ied.
I
m athi
meatt hedi
nningtablewit
hmyheadin
myhands.I
m sil
entl
ysobbing.Shereal
l
yis
l
eavi
ngme,theresnogoingback.
Tat
a:Whatar
eherdemands?
Me:Igiveheral
l
owanceandpayherf eesfor
therestoft
hisy
ear .Imaynotcont
actherup
unti
lthi
sisfi
nal
ised.
Tat
a:That
sit
?
Inod.Itssol
itt
le.Theall
owancei
sR35000and
thatsit
.Herfeesandaccomodati
onhasbeen
paidforfort
her estoft
heyearal
readyso
theresnostr
essaboutt hat
.
Mamai
scr
yingandr
ubbi
ngmyback.
Her
:Whatar
eherr
easons?
Me:Fai
lur
etocarr
yduti
esasaspouce,
emoti
onalnegl
i
gence.
Tat
a:Yho.
Theressi
l
encei
nther
oom asIweepont
he
tabl
e.

Themorning,Iwakeupgroggyanddepressed.
I
m athome, soIshowerandgetdressedi
nto
mysuitandgot othedi
nningar
ea.
Si
m comesbounci
ngt
ome.
Her
:Bhut
i!Wher
esSi
sKany
i?
Ilookatherandcl
earmyt
hroat
,pushi
ngback
thetear
s,
Me:
Shesatschool
baby
.
Her
:Wheni
sshecomi
ngback?Imi
ssherso
much.
Shelaysherheadonmychest.Iwipeawaya
tearandl
ookatmom wit
hpleadingeyes.
Me:
Idontknow.ButI
llt
ell
her
.
Her
:Okaygood.
Breakf
asti
squietwithSaziandSim chat
ti
ng
andlaughi
ng.I
tstoocute.ButIhavemyown
probl
emstodeal wi
th.
Me, dadandthel awyer
sf l
yt oSt el
lenboschand
meetupwi thThandoi nherlawy ersof fi
ces,
whichsuprisi
nglyisnottoof arf r
om t hepost
off
ice.Wear r
iveandwesi tint heboar droom
wit
hThandosl awy er
.Wai t
,isntt hi
st heguy
fr
om t hewedding?Heintroduceshi msel fas
MarkSmi thandisadef enseat torney .Mi nutes
l
aterThandowal ksin,wow!Shesbal d!Wi t
h
darkmake-upandbl ackclothes.Shel ooks
beyondbeautiful
.Shegreetsev eryoneandsi ts
nexttoMar k.
Justi
n(mylawy
er)
: mycl
i
entwant
sasepar
ati
on
rat
herthanadi
vorce.
Mark:No.Mycl
ienthasspeci
fi
cal
l
yaskedf
ora
di
vorceandi
fherdemandsarentmett
henwe
wi
llhavet ot
akeitt
ocourtwhere,
asyouknow,
ev
erythingwil
lbeprol
ongedandpubl
i
sizedand
myclientsdemandswill
behigher
.
Met oJust
in:
(whi
sper
ing)CanIspeakt
oher
di
rectl
y?
Justi
n:mycli
entwoul
dli
ket
ospeakt
oyour
cl
ientdi
rect
ly.
Mar
klooksatThandoandshenods.

~Thando~
Hel ookssodi st
raughtandbr oken.ButI
couldntcareless.Idontwantany thi
ngf r
om
hi
m, i
ncl
udinghismoney .Theal l
owancehes
beengi v
ingmeI v
ebeensav ing.SoIhav e
aroundR90000f rom him.Thi swi l
lcoverme
hopefull
ynexty ear.MomsmoneyI v
esav edup
soitcangr owandI m nottouchingthat.
Him:Ithoughty
ousai
dyoudgi
vemeanot
her
chance.
Me: That
sbef
oreIal
mostdiedandy
ouand
yourfamil
ydi
dntcar
etoshowup.
Hi
m:Thando.
..
Me:NoMelisi
zwe.I
vehadenough.Ival
ue
mysel
ftoomuchtocarr
yonlett
ingyoustr
ing
mealong.
It
urnt
oBab'
Sizwe.
Me: Your ememberendofl astyearwhenIcr ied
i
nt hebackseatofy ourwhiteHiluxunt ilI
passedout ,whatyousaid?Yousai dy oudt ake
careofme.Whathappened?Whatdi dIdoso
wrongt hatIdeservedt oletyouwat chyourson
tr
ampl eov ermyhear tanddonot hing?Icoul d
havedi edthispastweekendandy oudi dntev en
caretopi t
ch.Youl i
edt omewheny ousai d
youdt akecar eofme.Youdi dnt.Yout hrewme
i
ntot heli
onsdenandwat chedasi tdest royed
me.Butnomor e.Thisismest andingupf or
my self
.Im done.Imt hroughwi t
ht hissham ofa
mar r
iaget hatyouandmyf atherorchast rated.
Withthatbeingsaid,
Isli
ppedoffmyweddi
ng
r
ing, r
eachedacrossthetabl
eandgavei
tto
Melisi
zwe.
Hi
m:Keepi
t.
Me:
Whatf
or?I
thasnov
alueany
mor
e.
Myv
oicei
scol
dandmywor
dsi
cey
.
Mar
k:Pl
easesi
gnher
e,her
eandher
e.
Isi
gnwi
thmymai
densur
name.
Melisi
zwealsosi
gnsandplacest
hependown.
Atearfal
lsonthetabl
eandhewipesitaway.I
openmybagandhandhi m hisbl
ackcard,
car
keys,pet
rol
cardanddiamondneckl
aceand
earr
ings
Hi
m:Youcankeept
hem.
Me:
No.Idontwantany
thi
ngt
hatwi
l
lremi
nd
meofy
ou.
Hegaspsandsodoeshi
sf at
her.It
hinkt
hey
onl
yregi
ster
ingnowt
hatIam tr
uell
yleav
ing,
for
good.
Marknodsandwestanduptol
eave.WhenIm
att
hedoor,Mel
i
sizwecal
lsmyname,Itur
nto
hi
m
Hi
m:I
sthi
sreal
l
ytheendofus?
Me:I
twasoveralongtimeago,butIwastoo
st
upi
dtoreal
isei
tbecauseIthoughty
ouwould
l
oveme.Buthowcany ou,
wheny oudonteven
l
oveyour
sel
f.
Wi
tht
hatbei
ngsai
d,It
urnandwal
kout
.
[
10/
29,
21:
27]Wadz
:£29
~Thando~
☆ 3mont
hsl
ater
..
☆
ItwasnowOct oberandmyhai rwasbacktoit
s
ori
ginal
lengthi
fnotlonger.I
vediedi
tPurpl
e
andIml ooki
nghell
afine.
I
m notgoi
ngtol
ieandsaythepast3months
hav
ebeeneasybecauset
heyhaventbutI
ve
tri
edt omov epastthem.Icr ied,Itookmy
frust
rationsoutonev eryoneandatt imes,I
want edt ocallhi
m andsayImi ssedhi m.Butno,
Istoodst rongandf acedal lmyemot i
onssoI
canmov eonfrom himf ull
yandIam, slowlybut
surely.Lifehasnev erbeenbet ter.No, Ihavent
start
eddat i
ngbutI vebeenonaf ewdat esbut
thatsall.Why ?Wel l
..
.Im pr egnant .With
Mel i
sizwesbaby .WhenIf oundout ,Iwasso
pissedof fbuthadnoonet oblamebutmy self
.I
sobadl ywant edt oabor tbutmyf ri
endsand
familytalkedmeoutofi t.Inf
act ,theywanted
met ot ellMeli
sizwebutIr efusedandgui lt
tri
ppedt hem inev eryt
hing.Imeanti twhenI
saidIdi dntwantany thi
nht odowi thMel i
sizwe
andhi smoneywasi ncluded.

It
sawar m ThursdayandIm wear
ingshortsand
anov er
sizedshi
rt.I
mlayingonmybed, goi
ng
thr
oughschool materi
al,
myphoner i
ngs.It
s
David.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Dav
id:
Hi.
Hi
snosesoundsst
uff
ed,
li
kehesgotf
lu
Me:
Arey
ouokay
?What
swr
ong?
Hi
m:Thandi
swai
sinhospi
tal
.
Me:What
swr
ong?I
ssheokay
?Ist
hebaby
okay
?
Hechuckl
es.
Hi
m: Mor
ethanf
ine.Shegav
ebi
rt
hthi
s
morni
ng.
Iscream.Oh,
howcute.Im sohappyf
ort
hem
theydeser
veall
thehappi
ness.
Me:Aw!Congr
ats.Youhav
etosendpi
csand
vi
deosandal
lokay?
Him:Yeah.Wethoughtyoushouldknow.I
wantedtocal
lwhenshewasi nlabourbut
Thandi
swasaidwe'dstr
essyouout .Howare
you?
Me:
Im okay
.Justwi
shIwasntpr
egnant
.Dav
id?
Hi
m:Yeah?
Myt
ear
sbegi
ntof
ormi
nmyey
es.
Me:
CanThandi
swahearme?
Hi
m:NoIm athomef
oraqui
ckshower
,what
s
wr
ong?
Me:
Whati
fIhat
emybaby
?
Hi
m: Youwont
.Thando,honey
, t
ryandst
op
ov
ert
hinki
ngever
ythi
ng.I
tsgoingtobeokay
.
Tr
ustme.Doyoutrustme?
Me:
Wit
hmyl
i
fe.
Him:Thenstopworr
yingaboutthewhatifs
okay?Igoty
ou.Youfocusony ourbooksand
bei
ngthebestaudi
torint
hewor ldokay?
Igi
ggl
ethr
oughmyf
all
i
ngt
ear
s
Hi
m:That
smor
eli
kei
t.
Me:
Thanky
ouDav
id,
bye.
Hi
m:By
elov
e.
Ismile,agenui nesmi l
eofr eli
ef.Onething
aboutDav idist hathim andThandi swalove
eachot her,si
ncer el
y.Theyar gueandbickerbut
theytruell
ycar eforeachot her.Itwarmsmy
heart.Thandiswahasbeent hroughalotand
shedeser vesal lthehappinessDav idi
soffer
ing
her.Hopef ull
yoneday ,
Illbeinthesame
posit
ionashert oo.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
☆ 5mont
hsl
ater
..
.☆
Yonel
aisnow1weekawayf rom being9
monthspr
egnantandshesnotasbigasI
i
maginedhert
obe.Butyhothemoodswi ngs
I
vehadtodealwit
hhavebeenhectic.
HaveIbeenmissingThando?Youbetyourl
ast
moneyIhave.Every
dayIm wit
houtherf
eels
wor
sethantheonebef or
eandSim aski
ng
abouther
,makesi t10ti
mesmor e.Iv
eslowl
y
sl
ippedbackintomydepr essi
vest
ateandmom
evensaysIvelostwei
ght.Butyouknowhow
mothersarewiththei
rki
ds.
I
m attheoff
ice,
wri
ti
ngmypr
oposal
swhenmy
br
othercal
l
s
Hi
.
:Heybabybr
o
Me:
Hey
.What
sup?
I
tsBhutLungamyel
destbr
other
.
Him:
Hee!Siphetel
l
smet hatwhenhewent
homethesehol
iday
s,shebumpedint
oThando.
Me:
..
..
Idontknowwhatt
orespondandsay
.
Hi
m:Mel
i
sizwe?
Me:
Im her
eBhut
i.
Hi
m:Yeahandshespr
egnantbr
o.
Me:
What
?
Hi
m:Yeah.
..y
oudi
dntknow?
Me:
No.Thanksbr
o
Ihangupandst and.Whywouldntshetell
me?
Wasshepl anningonkeepingmyki dawayf r
om
me?Howcr uelisuThando?YeahIhurtherbut
tokeepmyki dawayf rom meisjustwrong.I
m
i
nfuri
atedbyt hi
s.Howdar eshe.I
mt emptedto
dri
vethereanddemandmypr esenceinmy
chi
ldsli
fe.Fuckenhell.

Igethomeandf
indYonel
abentov
er,
cry
ing.
Me:
Heybabe,
what
swr
ong?
Her
:mywat
erbr
oke.
Ist
andt
her
e,dumb.
Her:
Melisi
zwe!Dontjustf
uckenst
andt
her
e!
Ourbabyiscoming!
Andthenshescreams.Ohshi
t.Ir
unupst
air
s
andgetthebagsandgodownstai
rsandcar
ry
hertothecar
.Shescryi
ngandbr eathi
ngandI
m
dri
vi
ngl i
keamaniactothehospital
.Myheadis
nolongerwit
hThando,buther
eatt hismoment.
Ical
lmymot heronthehandsfree
Her
:Hi
nana
Me:
Heymom.Uhm,
Yonel
aswat
erbr
okeso.
.
Shescr
eams.
Her
:Howi
sshe?Wher
ear
eyou?
Me:I
m aboutt
opul
lupatt
hehospi
tal
.Tel
l
ev
ery
one.
Ipul
l upandgr abev ery
t hi
ngandherandgoi n.
AssoonasIgoi n,wear eatt
endedt oand
wheeledintot hemat er
ni t
yward.Thenur se
changesheri nt omat ernit
ycl
othingandshe
comest ol i
eont hebed.Shei nst
r uct
sYonelato
openherl egsandshef eelsi
nhercr otch.Oh
myf uck..
.chi
ldbi rt
hi straumati
sing.Fuckenhell
.
Thenur segasps.
Nur
se:
Your
eful
l
ydi
l
ated.Whendi
dyour
cont
ract
ionsbegi
n?
Yonel
a:Thi
smor
ningbutIt
houghti
twasa
fal
seal
arm.
Thenur serunsoutandcal lsanothersot hey
canhelphersetup.I m standingt
her eli
kean
i
diot.Thefuckam i supposedt odo?Thenur se
comesi nandhandsmecl othest
owearov er
mine.Iweart hem quickl
yandgost andnextt o
Yonelaholdingherhand.Thenur sepl acesher
l
egsupandspr eadsthem wi de.
Yonel
a:Real
l
yMel
i
sizwe?
Il
ookather
,dumbf
ounded
Me:
What
?
Her:I
m aboutt
ogivebi
rt
handwenay
our
eher
e
cat
chingaboner?
Il
ookdown.Tshn!Mel
ii
sst
andi
ng,
readyt
o
sal
ute.
Me:
Ha.
athi
sisnoti
ntent
ional
.
Shepul
lsherhandawayfrom mineandgr
oans
l
oudl
y.Yer!Bei
ngaguyreall
yishard
someti
mes.Excuset
hepun.

Aftermuchscr eamingandpushi ngandcr yi

ng,
thereisasof tcry.Mybaby scry.Icanthel pbut
getemot i
onalasshecomesoutst i
ll
cov eredin
fl
uidsandt heambi l
i
cal chordstil
lattachedt o
her.We'v edecidedtonameherAhl umi leJai
Mv el
ase.I t
smadef orher.Shei ssobeaut i
ful
andhassol it
tl
ehai r
.Hernosei ssmal l,pinklips
andadar kbeaut y
.Wow.I m astoned.Thenur se
handshert omeandt hatswhenmywor ld
stops.Imi nlovewi t
hher .Shesmyev erything
andt heresnothingIwoul dntdof orher .She
start
st ocryandIhandherov ertohermot her
whot akesoutherbr eastandf eedsher .Mom
comesi nandt akesapi cofthem.
Mama:
Enkosi
Makot
ifort
hisbeaut
if
ulgi
ft
.
Yonel
abl
ushesandsmi
l
es.Shet
urnst
osmi
l
e
atmeandIsmileback.Mymi ndisnotherebut
rat
herwit
hThando.Inthi
smoment ,Iwi
shi t
washerlayi
ngi
nthisbedholdingmybaby .I
misshersomuchandi tpai
nsmedeepl y.What
haveIdone?

~Thando~
It
sst il
l earlyDecemberandI ml ayinginbed
naked, wel linmypant i
esandasar onglightl
y
cover i
ngme.DecembereSadai sunbear abl
e.
Theheat ?Yhoo.I veshower edt wicetodayand
tomor rowIhav eagy naeappoi ntment .I
m so
l
azyt oev endoany thinglatelyandI m only5
mont hsal ong.Yesterday,IsawSi pheatt he
mall andshewassohappyt oseeme.Ij ust
smiledbecausehonest l
y,Im notinthemood
forher .Wher ewasshewhenIal mostdi ed?
Mxm f ake.AndI m sur eshesal r
eadycal l
ed
Melisizweandsai dI m pregnant.Sigh.Ijust
hopehedoesntcomeher eanddemandt osee
mebecauset obehonest ,Iwontbeabl eto
resisthim.Iwi l
leathim uplikeIm ondeat hrow
andhe' smyl astmeal .Imisshispeni sandhis
tongueandhi shandsandhi smmmm. .
.yhoits
beenf oreversodontj udgeme.I not hernews,
Thandi swahasgi venbi r
thtoabounci ngbaby
girl
.Sobeaut ifulwi
tht hefamili
es,tr
ademar k
greeney esandhai r.Shesabeaut if
ul babywith
herupt urnednose.TheynamesherAmorSmi t
h.
Yeah, Thandiswagotmar ri
edov ertheholidays
andi twasspect acular.Thecolourswer eblush
andpear l.Yhosobeaut i
fulandbig.Iwasher
mat ronofhonour .Iwishmom wast heretosee
them.Herandherf am stayinQueenst ownbut
aftertheholidays,wear eallmov i
ngt oPE,
permanent ly.

Thenextmor ni
ng, Iwakeup,bat
handweara
maxidressandbl ackchucks.Myhairi
slonger
now,soi j
ustti
eitbackandgo.Illeati
ntown,
takemyselfoutforaburgeratDagwood.Igrab
anappleandcatchataxit
otown.Igett
othe
gynaespract
iseandwaitmytur
n.Mynameis
call
edandIstandupandgoin.Isi
tandwechat
forawhil
e.
Her
:Your
eadyt
ofi
ndoutt
hegender
?
Me:
No.Iwanti
tont
he7t
hmont
h.
Her
:Okaynopr
obl
em.Anymov
ementt
oday
?
Me:
uhm.
..
Tobehonest
,ther
ehasntbeenmovementfor
thepastt
wodays.ButIt
houghtnot
hingofi
t.
Her
:Thando?Let
sgocheck.
Wegetont hebedandIli
ftmydressandshe
appl
iesgel
onit.Myheartisi
nmyt hr
oatasI
pati
entl
ywaitf
oraheart
beat.Si
l
ence.
Me:
Whyi
sther
enohear
tbeat
?
Shegoesqui
etandr ot
atest
hemonitort
hingall
overmybel
ly
,askingmet ot
urnthi
swayand
thatway
.Mytearscomeunbiddentomyey es.
Pl
easeLord.JustasIwasst
art
ingt
olov
eit
.
Pl
easedontdot hi
stomebaby.
Dr
:Im sor
ry.
..
[
10/
29,
21:
27]Wadz
:£30
~Thando~
Mytearstur
nint
oscr
eamsasIcr
umbleover
andcry
.Whyme?Whyme?Al way
sme.I nt
hat
moment ,
Thandi
swacomesi
nandrushest
o
meside.
Her
:BabyI
m sosor
ry.
.
Ipushheroffofmeandgetup.Dav
idi
sseat
ed
i
noneoft hechai
rs,
hest
andswhenheseesme
andfol
lowsmeout .
Atthehospi
tal
,thedeadfoetusisremov ed
from mywombandcl eaned.Inolongerhav e
theenergyt
ocryanymore.May beIm not
desti
nedtohavekidsorImjustabadpar ent
.
Thandiswai
scryingbymysi deandImj ust
comforti
ngheratthi
spoint
.Inawaymyhear t
i
sspli
tintwo, sadthatIwonthav emybundl eof
j
oyandr el
ievedthatIm of
fi
cial
lycutofal
l t
ies
wit
hMel i
sizwe.Ishallmournthischi
ld
accor
dingl
yandmov eon.Iwi l
lnotbeheldback
bymymi sfortunes.I
m donebeingav i
cti
m of
badcir
cumst ances.Nomor e.
Themor ni
ng,Iwakeupandl eavethehospital
.
Thandiswa'
sey esarepuffyandhazelbrown.
Davi
dsar ejustred.Theyseem sosadforme
butIdontwantt hem to.WhenwegethomeI
askthem tocomesotwi t
hmeatt hetable
Me: Iknowt haty outwof eelsadforme.ButI
dontwanty outo.Yest hi
spastyearhasjust
beenshi t,f
rom losingmymot her,
being
div
or ced,watchingmyhusbandmar ryanother,
miscar r
yandl oseababybuti tsal
lforareason.
Idontwantt ocryany mor eandneit
hershould
you.YesIl ostmybabyandi thur
ts,butperhaps
i
tsabl essingindi sguisethatwearestil
lpained
tosee.Fr om nowon, Iwantusalltostart
embr acinglif
e.Youv ejustgotmar r
iedandhad
ababy.Yout
wohavej
ustf
oundl
oveandy
ou
shoul
dbecel
ebr
ati
ngt
hat.
Makazi
isjustbal
l
ingwit
htear
satt
hemoment
andDavi
discomf or
ti
ngher
.
David:
Howcanwewhenlif
eisli
ket
his?We
careandl
ovey
ouThando.Your
eourdaught
er
too.
Me:Iknow,butmyl
i
feisntal
way
sgoingtobe
shi
t.Il
lhav
egooddaystoo,y
ou'
l
lsee.Okay
?
Makazi
:Your
esost
rongbaby
.
Me:Ihavet obeorI
llendupi
nacoff
inandI
cant
.Lif
ei stooamazingt
odi
e.Pr
omisemeno
moretears?
Shenodsandstandsupandopensupf orahug.
Iwal
kintoherwarm embraceandfeelherlove.
It
sli
kehomet ome.Idontknowwhy ,butIjust
weep.Il
eti
tallout
.Funnyenough,I
vejustmade
awholespeechaboutnomor etear
sbuther eI
am,cryi
ngariv
er.ButIdeser
vetoleti
tallout
aft
erwhatI v
ebeent hr
ough.ImeanIm 19,
2
miscarr
iagesanddivorced.Howmany19y ear
ol
dscansayt hesame?ButIguesst
hisismy
desti
ny.

It
st i
met ol eavenow, weheadi ngforPEandmy
heartisheav y.Thissmal ltowni swhatIve
alway sknownandl oved,andnowI mleavingi
t
allbehind.Im hopingPEhasal lt
hebestinstore
forme.Ineedabr eakfrom sadnessandt oli
ve
myl i
f etothegr eat
est.Leav ingQueenstownis
bit
tersweetf orme,butachangeofscener ywil
l
begoodf orme.I m star
tingt ogetal i
tt
le
excitedtoleav e.MalumeandOl uhl
ebidme
farewellandgetmeaneckl aceforgoodluck.
Thetrav
elt oPEi sshortasDav i
dsjett
akesus
ther
e.Nicelif
el i
vi
ngImt ell
i
ngy ou.Amoris
suchabubbl y,beauti
fulchi
ld.Shesver
yquiet
,
l
ikeherfather.Cri
esonlywhensheshungr y,
wetoruncomf or
tabl
e.Shes3mont hsnow,and
j
ustador able.Wef i
nall
ygettoPEanddr iveto
thenewhouse.Wow!I t
sneart hebeachand
quit
eisolated.Thev i
ewi sspectacularandthe
houselarge.Ithas6bedr oomsandbat hrooms,
aplayarea, ki
tchen,l
oungex2, cinema,studi
es,
swimmi ngpool ,j
acuzzi
,pantryandmassi ve
garden.Im speechless.
Thandi
swa:
Babe?
Dav
id:
Sur
pri
se!
Ohsheal
sodi
dntknow?Wowt
hat
sso
r
omanti
c.

Ipickar oom upstair

sandst artunpacki
ng.The
rentsroom isdownst airswi t
hAmor .Ihavea
walkincl osetl
ikeatMel isi
zweshouse.Isi gh.I
dontknowwhyImi sshi m somuch.May beits
thefactthatIlostyetanot heroneofhi ski
dsor
may behi ssmil
e...Adele'
s-Babyi t
syoucomes
tomi ndandIf i
ndmy selfsinging.
'
It
snott
hewayy
ousmi
l
ethat
stouchedmy
hear
t
I
tsnott
hewayy
ouki
sst
hatt
ear
smeapar
t
Howmany
,many
,manyni
ght
sgoby
Isi
tal
oneathomeandIcr
yov
ery
ou
WhatcanIdo?
Icanthel
pmy
sel
f
Causebabyi
tsy
ou.
..
'

Atearescapesmyey
e.Ihat
emy sel
ffor
missi
nghim.Hewasnothi
ngbuthel
ltomeso
whyam Ili
kethi
s?

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thi
ngsbet
weenYonel
aandIhaventbeenso
goodsi
ncethebi
rt
hofJai
.Inf
acti
tsbeenhell
.
Wef i
ghtev er
ydayaboutev ery
thi
ng,event he
smallestmeaninglesst hings.Shesay sthatIve
neverlovedher,j
ustpr etendedt o.Ihonestly
dontknowwher ealloft hisiscomingf r
om?I
marri
edherdi dntI
?Il etgoofmyThandof orus
sowhatel sedoesshewantf r
om me?
Jaii
sthecutestbabyeverandstr
angely
,shes
myplaceofsanity
.Hersmilesmeltmyheart
andhertear
sbreakme.Thewayshecoosand
l
aysonmychesti sthebestfeel
i
ngev er
.Ther
es
not
hingiwouldntdoforher.

Thandoi sinmymi ndandhear tdailyandthe

factthatshespregnanghaunt smeev ery
wakingmoment .If
indmy selfdial
i
ngher
numberatt imestocallbutitalwaysgoest o
voicemail
.May besheschangednumber s.
Themonthnowi sMarchuniversi
tieshav
elong
openedbutshesnothere.Maybeshesnot
comingbackthi
syear.Why?Idr i
vehomewi t
h
l
itt
leAzingce.Mom saidshewantstoseeher
andletherspendt heweekendt
here.Yonel
a
needsther estanyway
.IgethomeandSuzi
comesandt akesherf
rom me.WheresSaziand
Sim?
Me:
Mom!
!!
Her
:Int
heki
tchen!
Igoov
ert
her
eandgr
eetheranddad.
Me:
Wher
esSi
m?
Mom:
Away
.
Me:
Wher
e?Kamv
ashouse?
Mamashakesherheadno.
Her
:No,herandSazi
hav
egonet
oseeKany
isa
f
ortheweekend.
What
?!
Me:
What
?!!Andy
oudi
dntt
ell
met
hisbecause?
Ma:
Sli
ppedmymi
nd.
Whatthef
uck!
!!Ist
orm of
ftomyr
oom andcal
l
Sazi
.
Her
:Bhut
i!
Me:
Hey
!Wher
ear
eyou?
Sazi
:I
nPE.
Por
tEl
i
zabet
h?
Me:
PE?Why
?
Sazi
:Wi
thsi
sThando.Shel
i
vesher
emos?
Thandomov ed?DoIsickenhersomucht
hat
she'
dtransf
ertoPEjusttobeawayfr
om me?
Yho.I
vemessedup.
Me:
Oh.Howi
sshe?
Sazi
:Fi
ne.Happy
.
Me:
mmm.
.howst
hebaby
?
Sazi
:Baby
?Whatbaby
?
I
sthi
ssomesi
ckj
oke?
Me:
IsntThandopr
egnant
?
Sazi
:No.Infact
,sheshel
l
afine.Idontknow
howyoulethergo.Honestl
yBhuti.Butkei
ts
yourl
if
e,bye.
Shehangsup.Heeeundi del
euSazi!Thenerve
ofhertotalktomelikethis.Andwhatdoesshe
meanThandosnotpr egnant.Kantidi
dntLanga
saythatSiphesawherpr egnantinDecember ?
HeeIhav etoseethistobelieveit
.Istr
ipdown
andgoshower ,getdressedandgot othe
dinnert
able.

It
sawf ul
l
yquietandawkwardwi t
houtSim and
Sazitokeepusallchat
ty.Af
terdi
nner,
Suzi and
Iwashdishes.Thi
sgivesmet i
met obondwi th
her,
Me:
Sohowar
ethi
ngsi
nyourl
i
fe?
Shef
rownsandl
ooksatme
Her
:Yout
ryi
ngt
omakesmal
ltal
kwi
thme?
Coul
dthi
schi
l
dbeany
mor
eobv
ious?
Me:
Yeah
Her
:Why
?
Me:
Hai
bo.Whatdoy
oumean?
Her:wel
l
,whenevery
our
eher
eyoumakei
tyour
missi
ontoi
gnoreme.Al
lofy
oudo.
DoIr
eal
l
y?
Me:Idont
.Andwhatdoy
oumeanby"
all
of
you"
?
Her:Youdo.Theguysofthishousei
ncl
udi
ng
dad.It
sli
keIm somefuckenplaguet
hat
ever
yoneistr
yingtogetri
dof.
I
m st
ruckbyherwor
ds.
Me:
Itsnotl
i
ket
hathai
bo?Wel
lformei
tisnt
Her
:Yeahr
ight
.WhatdoIdo?
Me:
uhm.
..y
our
eint
hir
dyearr
ight
?
Sherol
lsherey
es,
hidi
ngt
hehur
tthatl
ays
beneat
hthem
Her: No!Igr aduat
edbuty ouwoul dntknow
becauset heonlyper sonwhoev erpit
chedt o
mygr aduat i
onwasmom, sim andSazi .Ima
fuckeni nternatalawcompany ,youjerk.But
obviousl yy oudontcar ebecauseev ery
t hi
ngi s
alway saboutev eryonebutme.I fIweret odi e
tomor row, noonewoul dpit
chbecauseI m
i
rrelev antt oyourli
fenotso?Nowonder
Kany isal eftyou,youreanar rogantandsel f
ish
bastar dt hatshouldr otinhellwithyourdadand
brother st oo.Fuckall t
hemal esi nthi
sf amily
makemef uckensick.Got ohellwithyoursmal l
tal
k.
Withthatbeingsaid,shestormsoff,al
most
knockingdadof fhi
sf eeti
ntheprocess.Yho!
Im mor eofafuckupt hanIthought
.

[
10/
30,
05:
58]Wadz
:£31
~Mel
i
sizwe~
I
mlef
tspeechl
essandwi
tht
ear
sinmyey
es.
Everyt
hingSuzisai
di str
ueandapangofguil
t
stri
kesmyheart.Im suchabadbr ot
hert
oher
.I
didntevenpi
tchforhergraduat
ion.Whodoes
that?
Dad:
Andt
hen?Whathappened?
Me:
Didy
ougot
oSuzi
sgr
aduat
ion?
Dad:
No.ButIpr
omi
sedheracar
.
Me:Whatt
hefuckdad!
!!Doyouknowhow
muchshehat
esandresent
sy ouf
ori
t?
Dad:
Shesai
dthat
?
Me:Yeah.Al
lofusmalesi
nthi
sfami
l
yignor
e
her
.Howsadi st
hatdad.
Dadstearsfal
ldownhi sfaceandhet urnsand
goesupstai
rs,probablytoSuzi
sroom.If ol
l
ow
behi
ndbecauseIf eel
badforeverythi
ng.How
coul
dInotpi t
chf ormyownsi st
er sgraduati
on?
WhenIgetther e,Suzii
sonthefloorwi t
hpill
s
byhersideandbl oodpumpingoutofherar m.
Ohno!Whathav ewedone?Dadi snthere.
Pr
obabl
yspeaki
ngt
omom.
Me:
Dad!Dad!
Heopenshi sdoorandcomesr ushing.Hesees
Suziinmyar msandhest ar
tstocr y.Mama
screamsandcr i
estoo.Dadquicklyr ecover
s
himselfret
reat
stohisroom forcarkey s.Ir
un
downst ai
rswit
hSuziinmyar ms, shessol i
ght
.
I
nthecart
othehospi
tal
Ishakeher
Her
:Hmm?
Okayshesst
il
lal
i
ve
Me:Babypl
easedontdie.Pl
easeSuzi
Im sor
ry.
Dontl
eavemejustyet
.
Dadisdr
ivi
ngl
i
keamadmanandmamai s
seat
edbesi
dehim wi
thAzi
onherl
ap.
Mama:
Nott
oof
astbaby
.Pl
ease.
Dadslowsdownabi tunt
ilwegettothe
hospi
tal
.Wer ushi
nandSuziistaken
i
mmedi at
ely
.Itakeoutmyphoneandcal l
Langa
Hi
m:Hey
Me:
Comet
othehospi
tal
now.
Hi
m:What
sup?Whathappened?
Me:
Suzuki
wet
ri
edt
ocommi
tsui
cide.
Ther
essil
ence,
fol
l
owedbyagent
lesobandt
he
l
inegoesdead.
Ical
lKhany
a
Khany
a:Bi
tchwhatnow?
Iwantt
olaughbutnotnow.
Me:Comet
othehospi
tal
.Suzi
tri
edt
oki
l
l
her
sel
f.
Hi
m:Whatt
he.
.
Cl
ick.Fuckwhati
supwi
thmybr
other
shangi
ng
uponme.
Ical
lKamv
a,buti
tsayst
henumberi
sbusy
.It
ry
agai
nandagai
nbuttonoav
ail
.Mxm.
I
mi ntherecept
ionareawhenLangaandthe
twinsburstinwitht
heirwi
ves.Langasey
esare
bloodshotred
Them:
Whathappened?
Tat
a:Mel
i
sizweknows.
Thet urnt omeandInar r
ateev er
y t
hingthat
happenedandKamv acri
esonNomsa' s
shoulder .I
tsasadsi ghttosee.Khany ajust
burieshisf aceinhishandsandsodoesLanga.
Siphei sholdingLangaandOl wet huisrubbi
ng
Khany asback.Thi sisheartbr
eaking.Thando
shouldv ebeenher etocomf ortme.Sheget sme
event houghwedi dntknoweachot herforl
ong.
Imisshersomuchandal lofthisismyf aul
t.
Thedrcomesoutaft
erawhi
l
eandweal
lst
and
tohearwhathehast
osay
Hi
m:She'
l
lbeokay,outofdanger
.Wepumped
t
hepi
ll
soutofherstomachandstit
chedupt
he
tearonherwr
ist
.Thankheav
ensi
twasntt
oo
deep.
Wesi
ghoutofr
eli
ef
Hi
m:But
..
.
But
?
Him:Shessev
erl
ymalnuri
shed.Hert
hroati
s
heav
elydamagedfr
om thebil
e.
I
m conf
used
Dad:
No!
Weal
ll
ookatt
hem,
conf
used.Dr
s!
Me:
Idontunder
stand
Him:Shesbulimic.Whateversheeatsshe
vomitsout.Herweightisthatofatoddler.I
m
afr
aidthatshewillhavetobebookedi ntorehab
asweal sofoundal ar
gedosageofher oineor
cocai
ne, westi
ll
areuncertain,
inherblood
str
eam.
Weal
lgasp.Suzi
wasondr
ugs?
Hi
m: Butt
hegoodnewsisthatshesal
i
veand
wi
lldowell
.Ifshet
akescar
eofhersel
f.
Heturnsandl
eavesus.Icr
ashontheseatand
l
etthetear
sfl
ow.HowcouldIhavebeenso
bl
indtoall
oft
his?

~Thando~
Thearri
valofSi m andSazi hasbeent hemost
bli
ssf
ul t
imei nawhi l
e.They vebroughtbackl i
fe
i
ntomet hatIoncel ost.Sim wassoexci t
edt o
seeme.Sheact ual
lycried.Doy ouknowhow
heart
breaki
ngi ti stoseeachi l
dcryof
happi
ness?Yho.Shehuggedmesot ight l
yandI
spunheraround.Sazi jumpedonmeand
almostsqueezedt heli
f eoutofme.I twasa
sweetsight.Iintroducedt hem toAmorand
theyl
ovedhert opieces.Si m wastalkingbaby
l
anguaget oherandt heygi ggled.Weird!Ki ds!
Saziwasbur stingwi t
hexci tement,t
ellingme
aboutherboy friendandal l.Iwaslaughi ngmy
buttoff.Wewentt othebeachandSpurf or
supper.Itreal
lywasheav enlyforall
ofus.But
thenourdaycamet oabitterend,whenSazi
receiv
edacal lthatSuzukiwewasi nhospital.
HerandSazi ,
throughtearyeyes,beggedmet o
gowi ththem homeandcomebackMonday .I
wasntgoi ngtohav eclassonMondaysoi twas
cool.EvenThandi swaencour agedmet ogo.

WegettoCapeTownandIcal
lmel
i
si.
zwe
t
hroughSazi
svoi
ce.
Hi
m:Sazi
.
Fuckt
hatvoice.Yeeer
!It
sst
il
lsexyasev
er.I
cl
earmythroatsoIdontmoan.
Me:
Hi.Noi
tsThando?
Hi
m:Thando?
Hesaysmynamei
nawhi
sper
.Li
keasi
l
ent
pr
ayer
.
Me:
Yes.Whathospi
tal
?
Het el
lsmeandIhangup.Idr ivether eand
carrySi mi nwhi leSazirunsaheadofus.As
soonasweent erthewai ti
ngr oom, alleyest urn
tome.Iwantt or ollmyey esbutIr efrainmy self.
Iturnt oMel i
sizwe.Fuckme!Yhohesso
beaut i
ful.Especi al
lynowt hathesbesi de
himsel f.Igoov ertouMam' Nal edi andhugher .
Shecr iesonmyshoul der ,
whi lecar r
yinga
sleepingbaby .MustbeMel isizweschi ld,
shes
gor geous.Yeah, meandMam' Naledi stayedi n
touchev enaftermeandMel i
sizwegotdi v orced.
Shecamet ov isitmeal mostev eryweekaf ter
myal l
ergicincidentthepr eviousy ear.Shedi dnt
forcemet ogetbackwi thMel isizwe,she
respect edmydeci sion.HencewhyIst ayedi n
touch.Shesai dIwasl i
keoneofherdaught ers
andSi m cal l
edmewi t
hherphoneal most
alway s.IloveSi ml i
keshesmi neandI m
attachedt oherl i
keglue.Idontknowwhy .

Igoov
erandsi
tnextt
oMel
i
sizwe.
Absentmindedl
y,Irubhisbackandcomf orthi
m.
Hepicksmeupandput smeonhi slapand
buri
eshisheadonmyshoul der
.Myhear tski
ps
afewbeat sandIreali
sesomething.Ist
il
llove
him.ButIcantshowhi m orI
llf
oreverbedrawn
tohimli
keamot ht oaf l
ame.
Hi
m:Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngher
eforSi
m andSazi
.
Me:
Itsnopr
obl
em
Hi
m:Si
mreal
l
yador
esy
ou.
Me:
AndIher
.Whathappenedwi
thSuzi
?
Henarrat
esthest oryandIf i
ndmy sel
fteary.
SuziandIwerenotcl osebutIlovedherli
keshe
wasmyownf leshandbl ood.Iwouldcallher
andhermebutnotoncedi dIthi
nkshewas
usi
ng.Im sosadf orSizwebecauseIknowhe' ll
bl
amehi mselfforthi
s.
YonelacomesinjustasImov efrom Meli
sizwe
andgivesmear atherweir
dlook.Idontknow
whetheri
tsnast
yordi sappr
ovingbutshecan
fuckoff
.Im notheref orherman.Sheget st hei
r
babyandcal l
sMelisizweasi de.Ihearthem
argui
ngandt hebabycr ying.What shappeni ng
here?Meli
sizwejustget sinhisf at
herscarand
dri
vesoffl
eav i
ngYonel aandt hebabybehi nd.
Woah.Seemsl i
ketroubleinpar adi
sebutt hats
notmyshitany more.Mamaasksmet o
accompanyYonel atot hehouseandgett he
babythi
ngs.Yho!

Wedr i
veinsil
encet
othehouseandIm hol
ding
babyAzi.Mygoshcouldthi
schi
l
dbeanycut er
.
Ital
ktoherinbabytal
kandshegiggl
esandso
doesYonela.Ipl
aywit
hherandshesjusta
bundleofj
oy.
Yonel
a:Hel
ovesy
ou,
youknow.
Me:
Who?
Her
:Whoel
se?Mel
i
sizwe.Het
ruel
l
ylov
esy
ou.
Me:
ohokay
.
Howawkwar d.WhatcanIsaytothat
?Thisi
s
noneofmybusiness.Hecanlovemeallhe
wantsbuthesnotgett
ingmebackshame.He
madehisbed,nowhemustl ayi
nit.
Wegett othehouseandIpackt heirthingsin
hercarandwav et hem of f.Istar
tcooki ng
dinnerf orthef am andgot oSuzi sroom.I ts
bloodyanddi r
tyanddar k.Iopenupt he
windowsandcl eanherr oom forher .Whi l
eI
cleanIf inddr ugsi nherbag, yho.Iputt hem on
herdr essingt abl eandcar r
yoncl eaningunt i
li
ts
spotless, whilstchecki ngonmypot satt he
samet i
me.If inishupandswi tchthest ovesoff
,
thengoupst airst oSuzisr oom andf lushthe
drugsaway .Shecanhat eme, butthi sisforher
.
Iheart hedoorcl oseandgodownst air
sto
checkwhoi tis.ItsMel isizwe.
Me:
uhm,
doy
ouwantsomej
uice?
Heshakeshi
sheadnoandcorner
smeagainst
t
hefri
dgedoor.Myhear
tisr
aci
ngatt
hispoi
nt,
hemov eshi sheadcloserandhisli
psf i
ndmi ne.
Hismout hiscool wit
hat ouchofalcoholbut
nonethelessdeli
cious.If
indmy sel
frespondi
ng
tothekissandpul li
nghim cl
osertome.Hi s
bodyfeelssogoodonmeagai n.Whydoeshe
havethiseffectonme?
[
10/
30,
05:
59]Wadz
:£32
~Thando~
Ourkissisgett
ingheat edaswepourour
emot i
onsandneedf oreachother.Myl egsare
wrappedaroundhi swai standhi
sdi ckis
pressi
ngdelici
ouslyonmycooki ewalls.ButI
soonrecovermy selfandpushhi m sli
ghtlyand
tr
yt owri
gglefree.
Me:
Noo.
.mmm
Hest
opsandbacksaway
Hi
m:I
m sosor
ry.
Ismi
leandmovehim compl
etel
yof
fmeandI
goupst
air
stoSuzi
sroom.WhathaveIdone?
Mamaandev er
yonecomebackandIdi shf
or
them.Themoodissomberandtherest
ensi
on
betweenMel
isi
zweandI.Sexual
tensi
on.
Me:Mama,Im notgoi
ngt
ost
ay.Ihav
etocheck
i
natthehot
el.
Nal
edi
:HaiboThandowhy
?Ther
espl
ent
yof
r
oom her
e.
Me:
Ithi
nki
twoul
dbebestt
hisway
.
Isaygl ancingatMel i
sizwe.Heresthethi
ngnhe,
Icantst ayinthishouseorMel isi
zweandIwill
definatelyfuck.Andnotal i
tt
lebit,
thewhole
night.Ihav entgott
ensomei nawhi leandhe
satisfi
esmegr eatl
ysot her
eisa100%chance
thatIwi l
l sl
eepwi t
hhim andIjustcantal
low
that.Ivecomet oofart
of al
loffthewagonnow.
Aft
erdinner
,Mel
i
sizwedr
ivesmet
omyhot
el.
Real
ly
?
Hi
m:Ihopey
ounotl
eav
ingbecauseofme.
Isaynot
hingcauseal
lImt
hinki
ngabouti
show
del
i
cioushi
sdi
ckwouldbeinmymout
h.I
m
get
ti
ngwetatt
hethought
.
Hi
m:Im sor
ryf
orkissi
ngyou.I
twaswr
ongof
metovi
olat
eyourbodyli
kethat
.
Me:
Itsokay
.
Wegett
othehot
elandIt
ell
him nott
ocomei
n.
Me:
Thanx.Seey
out
omor
row,
goodni
ght
.
Hesmi
l
esandr
ubsmyhand
Hi
m:Sl
eepwel
l
.

Inmyr oom Imt ossi

ngandt urningasIst i
ll
feel
Mel i
sizwespeni sonmyv agi
nal wall
s.FuckI m
sot ur
nedonbyi tal
lbutIneedt ogerov eri
t.Im
hereforSuzi andnottoreunitewithmyex.
Yonelaswor dskeepr i
ngi
nginmyheadt hathe
l
ov esme, butIbrushthataside.Im nolonger
histol ove.Myt houghtsaredistur
bedbyacal l
.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
?
:Heycany
oucomet
othehospi
tal
?
Me:
Suzi
?
Her
:Yeah.Pl
easeIneedt
oseey
ou.
Me:
OkayI
llseewhatIcando.
Icallacabanditdropsmeof fatthehospi
tal
.I
walkpastthenurses,wel
lmor eli
kesneak
aroundbutthat
snott hepoi
nt,unti
lIr
eachher
room.Igoinandshel ookssoskinnyandpale.
Thereisaninst
antlumpinmyt hr
oat,
Her
:Hey
.
Me:
Heyboo.What
swr
ong?
Shecrumbl
esandcr
ies.Igoov
ert
oherand
hugherandsoot
heher.
Her
:Iwi
sht
hingswer
edi
ff
erent
.Whydontt
hey
l
oveme?
Me:Theydobaby.Yourdadandbrothwr
slov
e
youdear
lyj
ustt
hattheygetcaughtup
someti
mes.
Her:Inwhat?Isworkmorei
mportantt
hanme?
Forthem nottoevencomesupportmewhenI
wasgr aduat
ing?Am Isomuchofanuisancet
o
thi
sfami l
y?
Ishakemyhead
Me:
Noangel
younot
.
Her
:Thenwhydontt
heycar
eforme?
Idontknowwhatt osay,mymout hr
unsdr yat
herquesti
on.Inall
honesty
,Icanunderst
and
herpain,
causeitsthesamepainIexperi
enced
wit
hMel i
sizwe,butunl
ikeme,shecantdi
vorce
herfamil
y.
Her
:Cany
ousl
eepher
ewi
thme?
Inodandshemov esupandwelayi
nbed
together
,shecr
iessobitt
erl
yinmyarmswhi
leI
sootheherandholdher.Aft
erawhi
le,
shef
all
s
asleepandIfol
l
owaf ter
.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Themor ni
ng,Idr
ivetothehospi
tal
withdad
andMom.Wegoi ntoSuziswardandfi
nd
Thandoandhersleepingsosweetl
y.I
tsacute
momentt obehol
d.Thandostir
sandopensher
eyes.SodoesSuzi.
Me:
Mor
ning?
Thando:
Hi.Suzi
,Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng.
SuzinodsandThandokisseshercheek.
Thandowearshersl
ippersandwalksmyway
.
Me:
Hi.
Shesmi lesatme.Iof f
ertot akehert oherfl
at
andsheagr ees.Thedr i
veissi l
entandIdr op
heroff.Shethanksmeandgoesi n.Idri
veback
tothehospitalandgoi n.Tataiscr yi
ngonSuzis
shoulderandapologisi
ngt oher ,beggingfor
for
givenessandt hathe'l
lbemor eattendi
ngto
her.I
tsabi t
ter
sweetsi ght.
Suzi
:HadInottr
iedt
oki
l
lmy
sel
fwoul
dyou
havecar
edtat
a?
Dad:
Ial
way
scar
eSuzi
.
Suzi
:Enoughtonotnoti
cemypresence?To
val
ueally
ourkidsbutme?Tataadmitit
.You
dontl
oveme.Younev erhav
e.Am Ievenyour
s?
Weal
lgasp.Wher
eist
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
Mama:
Hai
boSuzi
whaty
out
ryi
ngt
osay
?
Suzi
:Expl
ainwhyhehat esmethen.Ihav
e
al
waysbeenthebl ackcl
oudinhi
slif
e.Mama
hasalway
sbeent heonetotakecareofme.
Wenaallyouv
eev erdoneist
hrowmoneymy
way.Youknow..
.
Shecl
osesherey
esandsi
ghs
Her
:Leav
e.Pl
easel
eav
etat
a.
Im shockedbutdaddoesashest
oldandget
s
upt ol
eave.Mamaf ol
l
owsandImov ecl
oser
andholdherhand
Me:Im sor
ryf
ori
gnor
ingy
ou.I
twonthappen
agai
n.
Her
:Whydoy oudoit?Yougiv
eSazi
andSi
m
t
ime,butcompl
etel
yobli
vi
ateme.
Me: Idontmeant
odoi tonpur
pose.Justt
hat
t
heydemandmyat t
enti
onandyoualwaysin
yourroom.SoInevergett
hechance.
Her:
Soi sthatwhyyoui
gnoredThando,
cause
shedidntdemandyourat
tenti
onli
keYonel
a?
Isi
gh
Me:
Ithi
nkso.
Her
:Oh.Doy
oul
oveeachot
her
?
Me:
Who?
Her
:YouandYonel
a?
Me:
Iguessso.Whydoy
ouask?
Her
:Doesntseem youl oveher.Li
ke, dontget
mewrongnhe, butIthinkyouarejustgrateful
t
oherfortaki
ngy ououtofy ourdepressive
modeandy oumi st
akingthatforl
ov e.
ThedrivebacktoCapeTowni ssi l
entandIm
deepint hought
.WhatSuzi sai
dt omest uckin
myheadandr eall
y,IdontloveYonel a.I
m
great
fulandappr eci
ati
veofherbutt hat
sjusti
t.
Ipull
upathomeandgoi n.YonelaisinAzi'
s
room,lulli
nghertosleep.Iwat chedthem and
every
thingSuzisaidcomescr ashingdownon
me
Me:
Yonel
a?
Shel
ooksatme
Me:
Canwet
alk?
SheputsAzidownandcomestoourbedr
oom.I
dontknowhowt oputt
his?Howwi
llI
?
Me:
Doy
oul
oveme?
Her
:Yeahhai
bo.
Me:No,r
eall
ylov
eme?Areyouinlov
ewi t
hme?
Pl
easedontspar
emyfeel
i
ngstell
met hetrut
h.
Her:Wherei
sthi
scomi
ngf
rom?I
sthi
sbecause
ofThando?
Me:
What
?No!
Her:Thenwhyal
loft
hesequest
ionsallofa
sudden?Whatar
eyousayi
ngMel i
sizwe?Spi
tit
out!
Thi
siswhatdr
ivesmemad.Hergoi
ngf
rom
zer
otoahundred.
Me:Dontt
alkt
omel
i
keI
m achi
l
d.Respectme
woman!
Her
:Il
lfuckenspeakt
oyouhowIwant
.
Me:See?ThisiswhatImtal
ki
ngabout.Theno
r
espect.Dontpissmeoff
.Dontr
aisey
our
f
ucki
ngv oiceatme.Rha!
Her
:Orwhat
?Huh?What
?
Ist
orm of
fbefor
eIdosomethi
ngI
llr
egret
.
Whendidthi
ngsgetli
ket
his?Wewerehappy
,in
l
oveorsoIthought
.

Att
hecl
ub,
Imt
aki
ngshot
saf
tershot
,dr
ink
afterdrink,justdowningmysor rows.Whydi dI
fuckupwi thThando?Thi syounggi r
lpullsme
tot hedancef l
oorandImov ewi t
hher .Our
bodi esgrindingagainsteachot her,al
l eyesare
onusasWi zkid's-ComeCl osercomeson.One
thingaboutmei sIcanmov e,t
hewayI m
wor kingthisy oungladiesbodyasIbendher
andt wi
stheral loverthisfl
oorisemmacul ate.
Whent hesongends, Im abitsoberedupsoI
bowandgi eheraf ri
endlyhugt henexitthecl ub.
Igeti nmycaranddr i
v ehomei nmydr unken
state.Luckilytherearenocopspat rol
lingorId
bei nshit.Igethome, openthegat eandgoi n.I
l
ayont hecouchandpassout .
Themor ningIwakeupwi t
hagruesome
headachet hatt
hr eat
enstospl
i
tmybr ai
n.Fuck!
Islowlygetoffthecouch,mybodypaini
ngasI
do, andheadtot hebathr
oom.Mypathis
blockedbyYonel a
Her
:Uv
elaphi
?(wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
)
Me:
Out
.
Ipushpastherandgoi nt
ot hebat
hroom and
domybusi ness.WhenIcomeout ,Yonelaisin
thekit
chenspitt
ingfir
eandbl azi
nghellonme.
Butreal
ly,I
m unfazed.Whydi dwegetmar ried?
Wewer ebetteroffaslovers,noasfr
iends.She
wasmyr ightwingman.I sthisal
lami st
ake?
Me:
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgetdi
vor
ced.
Shestopswhatshesdoi
ngandl
ooksatme.No
words.Noemoti
on.Nothi
ng.
[
10/
30,
05:
59]Wadz
:£33
~Thando~
Theweekenswasbi t
tersweetbutatleastIgot
tospendti
mewi thmyl ovi
es.NowitstimeI
headbackhomeandf acer eal
it
y.Thefli
ghtis
rat
hershor
tandKev i
ncomest ofet
chmeatt he
air
port
.AndwhosKev in,youask?Hm. .
.wouldnt
youli
ketoknow.Hesmynewboot hang.Icant
besingl
eforev
er.West il
lfr
eshwethuandhes
doing3rdyearinscienti
fi
cengineering.Smar t
,
nerdybutfi
ne.Hecomesf rom aweal thyfamil
y.
Hehasdar kbrowney es,chocolatesmoot hskin,
abeard(megat ur
non),dimplesandl i
pst hat
aresoft
erthanbut t
eronahotsummer sday.I
canttel
lyouaboutt hebedroom causewe
haventdoneit,butsoonenoughwewi ll
.Watch
thi
sspace.Ihopehedoesntdohi sownshi t
betweenmyl egs.Anyway ,hedriv
est omy
apart
mentandwegoi n.
Hi
m:Sohowi
sshe?
Me:
Shesgoodbabe,
bet
tert
hanbef
ore.
Hi
m:That
sgood.Imi
ssedy
ou.
Me:Metoo.Sor
ryIdi
dntcal
lyou,
Iwashel
dup.
ButI
llmakei
tuptoyou.
Hi
m:Yeah?
Hi
sbodywasal
readypressedagai
nstmineand
myli
pscl
oset
ohis.Inodandmov ecloser
.
Themomentourl ipst ouch, t
hemoodchanges
tosav agemode.Hi ski ssesar enol ongersweet
butneedy .Hishandsr oami ngar oundmybody
tr
yingt ogetaf eelofme.Wer emov eeach
othersclothesandhel aysmeont hebed.He
divesheadf i
rsttomycoochi eandImustsay
hisheadgamecoul ddowi thsomemor ewor k.
Buthedoesl eavemewetandwant i
ngmor e.
Het rail
shiskissesupt omyf aceandspr eads
myl egswi der.Het earsaf oilpacketandsl ides
acondom onhi simpr essi vel engthand
positionshimself.Heki ssesmeashet ri
est o
sli
dehi mselfinme.I tsbr eat htaking.Fuckhi s
stroke?Impeccabl ey ho.
Me:
Kev
in.
..mmmm.
..
Hesay snothi
ngexceptbr eat
heprovocati
velyi
n
myear .Hemov esslowlyinthebegi
nning,
adj
usti
ngmycoochi etoaccomodatehislength.
Fuck!Oncehescomf or
table,
hestar
tsmov ing
andpumpi ngme, i
namomentofweakness, I
l
etoutamoanandsi l
entl
ycum onthesheet s.
Hi
m:I
m notdonewi
thy
ou.
What
?
Hef li
psmeov erandbr i
ngsmykneesupand
l
ower smyback.Hesmacksmyasshar d.
BeforeIcany elp,heslamshi mselfinmeandI
scream.Suchbl i
ss.Hegr absmywai stand
startsmov inghar dandf ast.I
m grabbingonto
thesheet sfordearl i
feashef ucksme.I m
moani ngandgr oaningwhi l
eshessi l
ent,onl
y
breathinghardandf astli
kehispace.Mybody
cantt akeitany moresoIcum har donhi sdi
ck
andhecal l
soutmynamewhi leti
ghteninghis
gripar oundmywai st.Wear ebothleft
breathlessandwetaswecomecr ashingdown
ont hebed.
Kevi
n:I
fthi
sist
herewar
dIgetwhenev
ery
our
e
away,t
henyoushoul
dgomoreoft
en.
Igi
ggl
eandlayonhischest
,li
steni
ngt
ohi
s
cal
minghear
tbeat
.
Themor ni
ng,
Im wokenupbywetkissesonmy
necktr
aili
ngt
onybreasts.Imoanwhenhe
sucksonmyhardnipples.
Hi
m:Mor
ning.
Hi
shandrubsmycookiewhi
lehi
sli
psl
i
ckmy
br
east
s.Heavenl
yIt
ell
you.
Me:
Baby
..
.
I
sallIcanmanaget osay .Hemov esdownt o
myhoneypotandki ssesmet here.Icanfeel
mylegst rembleandmypl easurebuildi
ng,then
hestops.Likecompl etel
ystops.Hepecksme
onthelips,rol
l
sov erandget soutofbed.
Uhmm. ..whattheact ual
fuck?!Hedr essesand
i
m sti
llspeechless.
Him:Lat
eforclass.Seeyoulat
er.Hepecksme
agai
nandleaves.Imflabber
gasted.He!Yho.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
I
tsMondaymor
ningandI
m wi
thmyl
awy
ers
draftingoutadi vorceset t
lement .Icantkeep
l
ivingal i
eany mor e.Imt oool dfort hi
sshi t.
Her est hebackgr oundonmeandYonel a:She
wasmyf r
iendbef oreshewasmygi r
l.Wewer e
fr
iendsf orquitesomet i
mewhenIwasf ucking
herf ri
end, thenthingswentsout hforusandwe
endedupbr eakingof fbutYonel aandI
mai ntai nedourf riendship.Shemademel augh,
smi le,happyandexci tedtowakeupt henext
day .That showgoodt hi
ngswer ebet weenus.
Thent hi sotherday ,weki ssedandhadsex.And
Ithinkt hatswhenwest arteddat ing.ButSuz i
wasr ight ,IneverlovedYonel ali
kel ovesdo.I
l
ov edherl i
keshewasmyf r
iend.Andnowi ts
ti
met osetherf reesosomeoneel secanl ove
hert hewaysheneedst obel oved.She
deser v est hatandIneedt ot akeat i
meoutand
fi
ndmy self.

Atthehouse,IhandYonel
athedi
vor
cepaper
s
andshetakesthem
Her:Myl
awyerandIwi
l
lrev
iewt
hem andget
backtoy
ou.
Inod.
Her
:Buti
nthemeant
ime,
youcantst
ayher
e.
Me:
Butt
hisi
smyhouset
oo.
Her
:Ify
oust
ay,
Azi
andIl
eav
e.
It
hrowmyhandsup,
resi
gni
ng.
Me:
Fine!I
llgo.
Igoupst
airsandpackasmal lbag,thenl
eav
e
tooneofthehotel
sandforthefirstti
meina
l
ongtime,Ihaveapeacef
ulnight.
It
sThursdayandIm meetingupwithYonela
andherlawyer
s.Ihopeshedoesntgiveme
gri
eforhell
wil
lbreakloose.I
m notpr
eparedto
sacri
fi
ceanymoret hanIhaveto.I
veal
ready
l
ostThandoandal mostmysister.
MrKat:Mycl
i
enthast
hefol
lowingwishes;hal
f
ofwhatMrMvel
aseowns,
full
custodyoftheir
daught
erandR30000amont
hforchi
l
d
suppor
t.
Ilaugh.No,seri
ousl
y,Il
aughsohar dIcanf
eel
thetearsfal
li
ngdownmyf ace.Ever
yonei
s
l
ookingatme.I sthi
sbit
chf orreal
?
Me:Sheget
st hehouseandkeepsherpor
sche
andSUV,j
ointcust
odyandR10000mont hl
y.Or
we'
ll
seeherincourt.
Igetup,lookatherwithsuchdi sgustandwal k
out.Whendi dYonelabecomet hisgreedy?She
usesmymoneyt ogetev erythingt hatshe
current
lyowns.Thecars, t
hei nt ernati
onaltri
ps,
theshoppingsprees.Iwast heonewhof orked
outmyhar d-ear
nedmoneyt obuyhert hatshit
andnowshewant stogetsmar t?Bi t
ch!

I
mi nmyof f
ice,sl
avi
ngawayasal waysandmy
l
awy ercal
ls.Yonelaistaki
ngmet ocourt
.Hee!
Shesreall
yser i
ous.Icallt
hebankandletthem
fr
eezeallmyt ransf
erstoher.Let
sseehow
she'
ll
paythelawyer.Al
lhercr
editt
hat
sdue
monthend,Icutoff
.Letthebi
tchpayi
ther
sel
f.
Fuckthat
!It
stimetodance.
TodayisThur sdayandawhol eweekhas
passedsi nceYonelaandIspoke.Herphone
ri
ngs,probablydebtcollect
orsandshel ooks
drai
ned.Shesai dshe'll
dropital
l,
butitstoo
l
atenow.Shesal readyinf
uri
atedmeandnow
i
tstimef orcourt.Anyway,shecancallher
uncl
et opayf orhershitmos,hesrich.
Mylawy er,
MrCr awfordi sdef
endingme
superbl
y.Squander inganyaccusat i
onsand
cl
aim madet hatwasf alsemyway ,highl
ighti
ng
al
lmyef fortsandr aisi
ngmyi mageasaf ather.
Thejudger eacheshi sruli
ngandIgetj oi
nt
custodyofAzi ,Yonelaisnotgett
ingadi meof
mymoneyandR6000f orchil
dsuppor t.
Yonel
aisli
vi
dandthrowingdagger
smywaybut
Icoul
dnotgivdt
woshits.Shescl
aimi
ngwe
boughtt
hejudgeandallt
hatbul
l.
ItsSaturdayandYonel ai smov ingoutofmy
house.Soam IcauseI m putti
ngt hehouseup
forsale.Ivedeci dedtomov ebackintomy
condowhi chIboughty earsagowhenIwasa
bachelor.Itshas3bedr oomssoAzi wil
lgether
own.Mycondoi salr
eadysetupasI vehired
peopletof ixitupandmakeAzi sroom
comf ort
abl e.Also,Iv
et akenandsol dall
j
ewel l
erypi ecesI v
eev erboughtYonel a.Fuck
her.IgotlikeR250000atmost ,whichIwas
happyabout .Shewant edt obepet t
yandt ry
takemymoney , ha!Clearlyshedoesntknowme.
Mom,Suzi
andSim comeov
ertomy' house'
to
seemeandofcour
semom disappr
oves.
Mom:Thi
splacei
stoosmal l
forasmal
lchi
l
d.
Youmustgetabi
ggerhouse.
Me: I
tsnotl
i
key ouguysev
ervi
sit
.Ev
enwhenI
hadthebighouse.
..soi
tsf
inef
ormeandmy
chi
ld.
Suzi
:Howar
eyoubr
o?
Me:Im good.Happy
,rel
i
evedt
hatI
m nol
onger
l
iv
ingal i
e.
Mom:
Mkm.Sowhatnextf
rom her
e?
Me:Idontknow.Maybeworkonmy sel
fand
f
indmyf eet
.Thenseewher
etheroadtakesme
f
rom ther
e.

~Thando~
Im atKevi
nsplace,prepari
ngameal formeand
him.Ihaventfor
gottenwhathedi dtomel ast
weekandt odayhesgoi ngtopay.Whodoeshe
thinkhei
s?Maki ngmewett henl
eavingme
hangingabdsexuall
yf r
ustrat
ed.Ha!Hewill
knowme.Any way,I
m wear i
ngonlysexyl
ingeri
e
andagownj ustincasesomeoneknocksand
alsoforwhatIhaveplanned.Hecomesi n
Hi
m:Baby
!Im home.
Ha!Babymyass.
..
Me:
Kit
chen.
Hecomesi nandst
opswhenheseesme.My
robeisopenandI
m si
tt
ingi
nthehi
ghchai
r
sippi
ngonsomewine.
Hi
m:Hey
.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Hi
m:Youl
ooksex
y.
Me:
Onl
yfory
oubaby
.
Heswal l
owshar dasIwal kt ohim, droppingmy
robeal ongt heway .Hedr opshi sbookbagon
thefloorandIpul l hi
mt ome.Ki ssinghim as
myhandsmaket heirwayt ohi sjeans,whi l
eI
unbuckl ethem anddr opt hem alongwi thhi s
underwear .Assoonast heycomeof f,Imake
mywaydownandputhi srather,lar
ge,penisin
mymout h.Isuckhi m soslowl yandsof tl
yand
hitgodeeper ,hit
tinghi sdickatt hebackofmy
throat.Hegr oansandt hev einsinhispenisget
harder,indicatinghescomi ng.Istop,getupand
gr
abmykey
s.Igetmygownandt
urnt
ohi
m
Me:
Got
tago.I
m babysi
tt
ing.
Thent
urntoleave.Ha!Youshoul
dveseent
he
l
ookonhisface.Pri
celess.
[
10/
30,
06:
00]Wadz
:£34
~Thando~
Halfwayt omyapar tment,Ifeel
badsoImake
au-turnbackt omybooshome.Ineedsome
gooddi ckinhreall
y.Igetther
eandgetout .
Therest hunder,seemsliketheheavensare
openingup.Igetast herainstar
tst
of al
landgo
i
n.
?
:Har
derKev
in,
please.
..aaaah!Yeah!
Woah!Whot hefuckisthat
?Imov ecl
oserto
hisroom andopenthedoor.Ther
eIfi
ndKev i
n
bendingsomegirl
,pul
li
ngherhairandfucki
ng
herhard,l
ooksli
keinherass.Wow!Im ali
tt
le
turnedonbythi
s
?
:Wanaj
oin?
Myeyesmov etoherandoureyesmeet.Wow.
Thisi
sAngela.Myso-cal
l
edfr
iendt
hatImade
thi
syear.Wow.Kevi
ngaspsandAngelasmil
es.
Sodeviousl
y
Kev
in:
Baby
..
.li
sten.
..
Ishakemyheadandwalkout.IcanhearKev
ins
footst
epsbehi
ndme,butIkeepwalki
ng.He
blocksmyentr
ancet
omycardoor .
Me:
Mov
eandgof
uckAngel
a!
Hi
m:Baby
..
.pl
ease.
..i
..
.
Me:nothing!Iheardhowmuchofapl ayeryou
werearoundcampusandal lt
hest
oriesthat
roamed,butstil
lIkeptmyfait
hinyou.But
youvej
ustpr ovedmewr ong.Nowgetoutofmy
FUCKENpat hy oupieceofShit
!
HegaspsandIpushhi m pastmeandIgoi n
anddrivehome.Im sopissedthatIdonteven
cry.I
mj ustcal
m anddri
vet oDavi
dsplace.I
standintherai
nbeforeknockingonthedoor.
Davi
dopensandt
hetear
sIv
ebeenhol
dingi
n,
comegushi
ngout
.Heopenshi
sarmsandIcry
i
nthem.
Dav
id:
What
swr
ongnunu?
Me:
IfoundKev
inhav
ingsexwi
thAngel
a.
Dav
id:
Ill
fuckhi
m up.
Me:No.Leav
ehi
m.Lett
hegui
l
teathi
m up.I
m
done.
HebrushesmybackandThandiswacomes
downstai
rsi
nonl
yDavidsshi
rt
.
Her
:Heybaby
,whathappened?
Itel
lherthr
ought ear
swhatshappenedandshe
comfortsme.HerandDav i
dgiveeachother
gl
ancesandl ooks.Oh!
Me:Uhm. .
.well
Ishoul
dgetgoing,
looksli
keI
i
nterr
uptedalover
ssessi
on.Andbesides,
both
ofyoureakofsex,i
tsqui
teapungentsmell
.
Theyl
aughandsodoI
.
Onmywaybackhome, Ipl
ayt
heradioandmy
favour
it
esongcomesonandI
m singi
ngi nt
he
car.Al
mostdanci
ngev
en.Myphonerings,
unknown
Me:
Hel
l
o?
?
:Hi
Thando.
FuckIknowt
hatv
oiceany
wher
e.I
tshi
m,my
Meli
sizwe
Me:
HiBhut
i.
Hi
m:Howar
eyou?
Me:
Alr
ightt
hanksandy
ou?
Hi
m:I
m good.
Ther
essi
l
ence.
..what
sthepoi
ntoft
hiscal
l
agai
n?
Hi
m:Justwant
edt
oheary
ourv
oiceagai
n.By
e.
Cl
ick.Hedrops.Howf
uckenrandom.Igopast
apizzapl
aceandgetf
oodthendriv
etomy
place.Icoul dreal
l
yuseaf r
iendr i
ghtnow.But
pityminewast oobusyf uckingmyboy f
ri
endto
care.Ieatupandcal lSuzi
.Wehav eanhour
l
ongchataboutour sel
ves.Thenshet el
l
sme
aboutMel isizweandhi sdivorce.Yho!Andhere
Iwast hinkingthatYonelawasal ady.Mkm how
ti
meshav echanged.
Anyway ,
Iwakeupear l
yandgot ot hehairsal
on
anddy emyhairshocki
ngpi nk.I
tssocr azyand
Il
oveit.Igetmynosepiercedwhi chishella
soreandgot ocl
ass.IgetthereandAngel ais
seatedinwhatusedtobeourusual spot.Igo
si
tnexttothisot
hergir
l.
Me:
Hi,
Thando.
Her
:Hi
,Qaqamba.
Me:
Nief
ace.
Shegi
gglesandcov
ersherf
ace.Thel
efthand
hasari
ngoni t
.
Her
:Buty
our
sisbet
ter
.
Il
augh
Me:
Congr
ats.Ar
ranged?
Shegasps
Her
:How'
dyouknow?
Me:
Usedt
obei
n.
Thelecturercomesi nandwesitandpay
att
ention.Heassi gnsusproject
sandsayswe
shouldwor kintwos.Ismi l
eatQueandshe
nodsandsmi lesback.Yes!Wegetupandwalk
outafterthelecture.Angel
acall
sme.Irol
lmy
eyes.IpullQuewi thme
Me:
Yes?
Her
:Canwet
alk?
Me:
Tal
k
Her
:Inpr
ivat
e
Andshegest
urest
oQue,
giv
ingheranast
ylook.
Bi
tchnah
Me:
Youl
ostt
hatpr
ivi
l
edgewheny
ouwer
e
f
ucki
ngmyboy
fri
end,
sot
alk.Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Her
:TosayI
m sor
ry.
Me:
oh.That
sit
?
Her
:Hai
boThando?
Ir
oll
myey
esandwal
kof
fwi
thQue.
Me:Promi
seyou'
dnev
erf
uckmyboy
fri
end
behi
ndmyback.
Her:Onl
yify
oupr
omi
senev
ert
oseducemy
husband
Me:Nahgi r
l.Iknowwhatthatf
eel
sli
kesoI
woul
dntdar e.Shel
aughsandweswearoni t
.
TherestofthedayIspendwithQuel
aughing
andchatt
ing.Shereal
lyi
sbeautif
ult
hough.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thandost i
ll
soundsthesamei fnotbett
er.Last
nightIwaskindofstal
ki
ngheronI nstaand
facebook.Icantbel
i
eveIlethergo.Myoneand
onl
y.Imi
sshert
oomuch.
TheJunehol iday sarefastapproachingand
newshasi tthat ,Thandowillbeatmomsf or
thehol i
daysandIwi l
lthenbemaki ngmymov e
onhert hen.Ij ustneedt obestrategicabout
everything.Themoodbet weenSuzi andDadi s
atitswor sttoapoi ntwhereSuzi doesnteven
recognisedadsexi stance.Momst r
yingto
medi atebutf aili
ngdismally
.Yho!Theonl y
personSuzi t
al kstoisme, t
her est?yho.
Me:
Suzi
gir
l!
Shel
aughs
Her
:Ar
eyousur
eyounotonmyt
eam?
(gay
)
Me:
Nev
er.Doy
ouknowhowgoodnooki
eis?
Shelaughsandpushesmeaway .Theresa
knockonherdooranddadcomesi n.Suzir
oll
s
hereyes.Iat
temptt
ostandbutSuziholdsme
down.
Dad:
Suzuki
we,
howl
ongwi
l
lyoupuni
shmef
or?
Her
:Idontknow.Untilmyhear
tstar
tsfeel
ing
gui
l
ty.Unti
lIm nol
ongersi
ckenedbythe
moment syoushar
ewi t
hevery
oneelsebutme.
Unt
ilIcansleepwi
thoutbr
eaki
ngapart.Unti
l
...
Shebreat
hesin,
Im guessi
ngt
ost
opt
het
ear
s
fr
om coming
Her:Unt
ilIknowwhati
tsl
i
ket
obel
ovedbya
f
ather.
Dad:
ButIdol
ovey
ou.Ial
way
shav
e.
Suzi:Wor
dsmeannot
hingi
fyouract
ionsdont
fol
low.
Dad:
Suzi
please,
Icantt
akei
tany
mor
e.
Mydadgoesonhi
skneesandkneel
sather
f
eet
,cr
ying.
Hi
m: Pl
ease.Rel
easemef
rom t
hismi
ser
yand
I
lldobet
ter
.
Seei
ngmyf athergr
ovelandbegi sasoresi
ght
tobehold.Icantwit
nessthisanymorebecause
i
tscrushingmeont heinside.Icanhearsni
ff
ing,
butIkeepmyheadbowed.
Suzi
:Pr
omi
se?
Dad:
Promi
se
Suzi:
Yougobacktoyourol
dway sandy
ou'
l
l
neverseemeagai
n.Imeanitdad.
Dad:
Okaymybaby
.
Il
ookupandfindthem embr
aci
ngandhol
ding
eachot
hernearanddear.

Onmywayhome,
Yonel
acal
l
s.
Me:
yes?
Her
:Cany
out
akeAzi
thesehol
i
day
s?Because.
..
Icutherof
f
Me:Noprobl
em.JustsmsmewhenandI
ll
comefet
chher.
Her
:okay
.Thanks.
Shehangsup.I
vev
owedt
omy
sel
fthatno
mat
terwhat,Iwil
lbethereformydaughterno
mat
terwhat.Shesmyl i
fel
ine.Thel
eastIcando
i
sbecivi
ltoYonela,
forthesakeifAzi
.
Ther estoftheweeki sr at
herdull
,j
ustwork
stuffandgym keepmeoccupi edbutFri
day
schoolsclose,whi chmeanst hatThandowill
be
heresoonandmypl antogetherbackwi ll
commence.Ir efusetolose,butIwont
pressuri
zeher.Kakadeshewasmi nefir
stand
thi
st i
mei twil
l bediff
erentbecauseitwil
lj
ust
beus.
Any way ,
Fri
dayr ol
lsar
oundandIknockof f
early.Idri
vetoYonelasapartmentandfetchAzi
,
thenwedr i
vedownt oCapeTownt omoms
place.Shesv erytal
kat
ive,wel
linherbaby
l
anguage, i
tsadorabl
e.IgethomeandI m
welcomedbySi m andSazi.Suzii
sinPEt osee
Thando.Ihopeshedoesntf uckthi
supf orme.
Me:
Hel
l
ofami
l
y.
Mama:
Heybaby
Dad:
Myson.What
supbr
a?
Nowhatt
heheck?
Me:
aaah, nodad.Dontev
er.
..t
hatwas.
..okay
.
Wei
rd!Sazi!
!!
Shecomesi
ndr
aggi
ngherf
eet
Her
:yes?
Me:fi
rst
ly,
answerwhenIcal
landsecondl
y,
whyisdadspeaki
ngli
kethi
s?It
shell
aweird
yho.
Her:uhm,21stcent
uryparent
ingiswhatthey
cal
lit.I
tsmegaawkwar d.Tel
lthem t
ostop
causetheydoi
ngitinf
rontofmyf r
iends.
Il
aughandshakemyhead.Yeah,
myf
ami
l
y.

Theweekendisgreatandmom i smor ethan

happytotakeAziwhenIgotowor k.The
monday ,
Ideci
detodosomet hi
ngI vebeen
skept
icali
nalongti
me.Im gett
ingat att
oo.Yep,
me, thebusi nessmogul whosbeendi vorced,
twiceImi ghtadd, atage31andi snow
somebody sf at
her,i
sget t
ingatatt
oo.Im ao
nervous.Wher ewilli
tbe?Whatwi ll
itsay?Willi
t
hurt?Idrivet othetatt
oopar l
ourin
Stell
enboschandsi tinthechair
sandwai t.
Luckilytheresnooney etasits7am andt he
tatt
ooisthasntcomei n.Hef i
nal
lyarri
vesand
Im nervousashel l.
Hi
m:Shaun
Me:
Mel
i
sizwe.
Hi
m:HowcanIhel
p?
Me:
Im her
etogetat
att
oo.
Wel
l
,duhdude!Shaunhast
hegr
acet
olaugh
Hi
m:Okay
.Butwher
e?
Me:
onmyl
eftt
orso
Hi
m:Yousur
e?
Me:
Yeah.
Hi
m:Okay,
whatdoy
ouwanti
ttosayor
sy
mbol
ise?
Me: I
dli
kewords'
MeliThando'wri
tt
eninbol
d
i
tal
ics.Nott
oobigbutsmallenoughtobe
vi
sibl
e.
Henodsandheset sup.IsmileasIthi
nkof
whatIm aboutt
odo.I tonl
ymakessenset o
havehername,etchedacrossmyheart.And,
eveni
fshedoesntt akemeback,she'
ll
forever
bethewomanwhohasmyhear tandsoul.
[
10/
30,
06:
00]Wadz
:£35
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Get t
ingat att
ooispainfulyhu!Isatst i
llf
oran
entir
ehourt ogetmyt at
toodoner ight
.Butit
s
allworthit.Thandohasgonet hroughal otof
painbecauseofmeandI m willi
ngt owalk
throughf i
reandhel lt
obewi thher .Somemay
arguet hatImt oooldforherbutf r
ankly,Icoul
d
notcar e.Sheismi neandIam her s.
Shaun:
Im done,
youl
i
ke?
Me:
Ohsor
ryman,
itsamaz
ing.Thanks.
Hi
m:Payatt
hef
ront
.
Me:
Thanksman.
Igooutandpay .Iti
pShaunt ooforhiswor k
andgot owor k.Itsli
kemychestisbur ning,and
Icantconcentrate.IhopeIm notal
ler
gi ctothe
i
nkt hough.Imf i
ndingithardtoconcent r
atesoI
l
eave.ItellSt
ev etocancelallmyappoi ntments
andIgot omypl ace.I
tsMondaysoI m bor ed.
Arg,Igetinmycaranddr iv
etoCapeTown.I m
j
ustgoingt ospendt hedaywi t
hmysi sters.

Igethomeandal l3arether
e.Suzihaslefther
previ
ouswor kasthecontr
actisup.Igethome
andtakemygi rl
souttoCanalWalkforadayat
themall.Theyshopandeatandjusthavef un
man.Itsbeenawhi l
esinceIv
elaughedthis
hard.Sazi
sphoner i
ngs,
Her
:Si
swam.
Thando?
Her
:Nooo.
..butwepl
annedsomuch.
.
..
.
Her:Okay.Congr
atst
hough.Seey
oui
ntwo
weeksthen.
.
..
.
Her
:Pr
omi
se?
.
..
.
Her
:Okayl
ovey
ou
Me:
Sayhi
forme.
Her
:Bhut
isay
shi
.
.
..
Sazi
giggl
esandl
ooksatme.
Her
:Okay
.Lov
eyoumost
.By
e.
Shehangsupandl
ooksatSi
m
Her
:Thandosay
sshe'
l
lcal
lyout
oni
ght
.
Si
m:Okay
.Imi
ssher
.
Yeahmetoo.Suzicl
earshert
hroatandl
ooksat
me.Di
dIsaythatoutloud?
Me:
What
?Nonev
ermi
ndl
etsgohome.
Si
m:y
eahI
m sur
emommymi
ssesme.
Weallchuckl
e.MamasbabyuSimy hu!Butke,
sheisal
most6,it
sherbir
thdaynextweek.I
hopeThandocomesthrough.

~Thando~
I
m scr
eamingmylungsoutandj
umpi
ngar
ound
wi
thQaqamba.Ohmygosh!
Sanele:Woah!Andt
hen?What
sthecommosi
on?
I
sev ery
thi
ngokay?Qamba?
Weinst
ant
lystopandIl
ookdown.Sanel
eYozi
i
sQueshusband.HeisaboutMel
i
sizwesage
andver
ybufft
oo.Hesay el
l
owboneandv er
y
cut
e.Hi
m andQuel
ookdamngoodt
oget
her
.
Me:
uXol
oBhut
i.
Isayt
hat
,ki
ssQueont
hecheekandheadout
.
Sanel
e:Whyy
oul
eav
ingThando?
Me:
Ithi
nki
tsbestt
hatIgo.You'
l
lseewhy
.
It
urnt
oQue
Me:Hopet
oseeyoutomor
row.Cal
lmesowe
canhav
ecoff
eebef
oreweleav
e.Lovey
ou.
Her
:Lov
eyoumost
.
Shesmi lesandIwi nkandleave.Tobehonest ,
Saneleintimidat
esmet oomuch.Henev er
smilesandhehasar ough,deepv oicethati
s
veryauthoratati
veandmakesmeshakei nmy
pants.Quel ovesit.Hayishamei tscaresthe
crapoutofme.SoInev erwantt obei nhis
presencemuch, unlessIhaveto.Dontgetme
wrong,Iliketheguy ,butfr
om af ar.
QueandIhav
egot
tensupercl
oseandshesj
ust
anangel .Shesast raighttalkerandnotafr
aidt
o
voiceherwor ds.Shedoesntt akeshi
tandis
alwaysfightingmybat t
les.Sheunder st
ands
whenIt ellheraboutMel i
sizweandal l
,andshe
supportsmel ikeatruesister.Ilovet
hatabout
her.

Oh, youwantt oknowwhyIwasscr eaming?

Wel l.
..IandQuehav ebeeninv i
tedtoan
account ing/fi
nancialsummi t
.InChicago!Im so
stockedIcant .ThandiswaandDav i
dwer eso
excitedf ormeandsheboughtmea
wat ch(gol dwithdiamonds)t osay
congr atulati
ons.HerandIhav egotr eal
lyclose
andshesl i
kemymot hernow.Dav idistr
ying
buthe' l
lforeverbemycool uncle.Icancallhim
aboutany thi
ngatanyhourandhespr eparedto
l
isten.Awesomeguy .SoI mleav i
ngforaweek
onFr idayandI mt oohappy .
I
llbeexci
tedt
olety
ouknow,
thatIt
hinkand
missMel ilessandl essast i
megoesby .Ithi
nk
Im beginningt oheal .AndIt hinkthi
sleavewill
domegoodandgetmet oreall
yfocusonmy
wor k.Butsadl y ,Sazi postedapi cwithherand
him andal l myf eelingscameback.You
shoul dv
eseenhi m, yho!Sexwasj ustoozing
fr
om hi slips,tohi sey estohisbody .Heis
sexierthanev ery hu!Hehast rimmedhi sbeard,
cuthi shair(chiskop)andbuf f
.Likethatfuckme
ti
llIsquirtbuf f.Ijustdr ooledandImustsay ,
gotwetandmast urbat edtohispic.Icouldnt
helpmy sel f.Heusedt obemi neanyway.

Si
m:Hel
l
oSi
si
Me:
Hibabyhowar
eyou?
I
m onthephonewit
hSim andIm dr
eading
t
ell
ingherIl
lmi
ssherpar
tynextweek.Idont
wanttocrushmyl
it
tl
ebaby.
Si
m:I
mfi
nehowar
eyou?
Me:
Im okay
Her
:Whenar
eyoucomi
ngher
e?
Mmm!Her
egoes.
.
Me:Baby
,Im goi
ngt
ocomeont
hel
astweekof
hol
i
days.
Her
:Butt
hent
hatmeansy
ou'
l
lmi
ssmypar
ty.
Me:YesIm sor
rynana,butIpr
omiseI
llmakei
t
uptoyou.Wecandoany thi
ngandever
ythi
ng
youl
ikewhenigetback?
Her
:Getback?Getbackf
rom wher
e?
Me:
Iml
eav
ingf
orawhi
l
ebutI
llbeback.
Her
:Oh.
Shesoundssosadandmyhear
tisbreaki
ngbut
ihavetogo.Thi
sisaoncei
nal
if
eti
me
opport
uni
ty.
Her
:Okay
.By
enow.
Shehangsup.Iknowsheshurt
,shesprobabl
y
cr
yingbutt
heresnot
hingicando.Ihav
et odo
thisformeandmyf ut
ureandmaybemyf ut
ure
kids.Icantdependonanyonebutmysel
f.My
phoner i
ngsandi t
sSuzi
Me:
Boobear
.
Her
:Hey
.SoIseey
ouf
inal
l
ytol
dSi
m?
Me:*
sigh*y
eah.I
tshear
tbr
eaki
ngbutIhav
eto
dot
hisSuzi
.
Suziwast hefir
sttoknowaf termyparens
ofcourse,andmalumeandOl uhl
e.Oluhlei
s
nowi ntheFreeState,st
udyingthere.I
m so
happyf orher,
butIl
lseeheri nDecemberagai
n.
Imissher .Butany
way ,backtothenow.
Suzi
:Iunder
standbabesandI
mful
l
ybehi
nd
you.
..
Ther
ear
evoi
cesi
nthebackgr
ound
Me:
Suzi
.Babes?Hel
l
o?
Her
:Hey
,wai
t,Bhut
iwant
stot
alkt
oyou.
Me:
Suzi
..
.
Fuck!Am i
ready
.Itsbeenal
most2mont
hs
si
nceIspoketohim.
Hi
m:Hey
.
Damn,t
hatv
oice.Yhoi
tget
smeev
ery
time.
Why?
Me:
Hi
Hi
m:Ihearcongr
atul
ati
onsar
einor
der
.
Me:
uh.
.yeah.
..t
hanks
Si
lence.
..whendidwebecomeawkward?
Causethelastcal
lwasal
soli
ket
his.
Hi
m:So.Si
misabi
tcr
ushed.
Me:
Yeah,
Ifeel
sobad.
Hi
m:Dontbe,
she'
l
lbef
ine.Enj
oyy
our
sel
f.
Me:
Iwi
l
lthanks.
Hi
m:By
e.
Me:
Bye.
Hehangsup.Myst
omachf
eel
ssogi
ddyand
f
uzzy
.Whyi
sheaf
fect
ingmeso?

Fri
daycomesar oundandIm packedandr eady
togo.Im soexcitedandreadytoexpl or
ethe
world.QueandIar eonthewayt ot heair
port
withSaneledrivi
ng.Theycantkeep, wel
lSanele
most l
y,t
heirhandsoffeachother.Itssocute.I
wishIexperiencedthi
smuchj oyinmymar r
iage.
Butke,allt
hingshappenforar eason.
Que:
Babyst
op!Thandoi
sri
ghther
e.
Sanel
e:So?Letmej
ustt
ouchi
t.Feel
it.
Me: Ooooh!Euw..
.okay
..
.wow!Thoughtmy
parentswereroudy,
nopeIwasver
ymuch
mistaken.
..euw!
Sanel
echucklesandQueswat shishandaway ,
I
m guessingembar rassed.Itakemyearphones
outandplugthem in.Ibrowseandpl ayLetme
l
ovey oubyDjSnakexJust inBieber
.Thi
ssong.
Thi
ssongmar a!I
tdoest hingstomyemot ions.
Yho.Myey esarecl
osedasIletthewordssoak
i
ntomyhead.Thecarcomest oastopandI
openmyey es.We'r
ehere.Thankfuck.It
akemy
earphonesoutandgetr
eadyt ogo
Que:I
m goingtomi
ssy
ousomuch.Pr
omi
se
youwil
lbehave?
Sanel
e:Ipr
omi
se.Il
ovey
ou.
Quei
stear
ingupsomuch.
Her
:Il
ovey
oumost
.
IgetoutasIcanf eel apangofj ealousy .Iwish
thatwasme.Butmyt i
mewi l
lcome, may bei t
s
notnow.Shecomesoutev ent uallywi pingher
tearsandsher unsar oundandbur iesherf ace
i
nSanel eschest.Af terawhi l
e, shepul l
sback
andwi peshertearsandgi v eshi m onehel lofa
smooch.I mjustst andingt hereawkar dAFf am.
ButIm good.Af t
erawhi l
e,wel eaveandgoi n.
Ourf l
i
ghtisalr
eadybei ngcalledsower unov er
thereandgetreadyt ol eave.Firstcl assbaby !
*
Oneweekl
ater
*
Yjomyt i
mei nChi cagowasamazi ng.Just
fabulosit
yi ni
tstruestf orm.Ilearntsomuch
andwentsi ghtseeingf ordays.Ireallyenjoyed
my selfandsodi dQue.Wet ooksomanypi cs
andat esomuch.I tr eallywasgr eat.Im soglad
Igott oexperiencet hiswi thher.Butke, sadly,
it
hascomet oanendandwor stofal l,
Im going
homesol o.Sanelecamet hereandhi m andQue
willbegoi ngtoNewYor kforther estofthe
week.Howsweeti st hat?
I
m onthefl
ightbacktoCapeTownf rom
Chi
cago.ImissSim butI
m notgoingtostay
l
ong.Just3daysthengobackhome.Mel i
sizwe
i
stheonetopickmeupf rom theair
portandhe
l
ookssogoodi nhissui
t.
Hi
m:Hey
.
Il
augh.Heshol
dingabi
gboardwi
thmyname
andpict
ureoni
t.It
ssoador
abl
e
Me:Didy
our
eal
l
yhav
etogetsuchahuge
boar
d?
Hi
m:Yeah,
soy
ouwoul
dntmi
ssme.
Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
HowcanI
?
Hesmi
lesandweshar
eahug.I
tswar
m andi
t
f
eel
sli
kehome.
Thedr ivet
ohishomei ssil
entwi thhim st
eali
ng
glancesmyway .Im sotir
edanddr owsy.
Mel i
sizwesli
deshishandov erandl ocksi
twith
mi ne.Ismil
eandlookoutt hewi ndow.Hest i
l
l
want smebackandsodoI , butam Iprepared
togobackdownt hatroadagai n?
[
10/
30,
06:
00]Wadz
:£36
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Herhandi nminefeel
sli
kedest
iny .Im
capti
vatedbythi
smomentandel at edthatshe
hasntsnatchedherhandawayfrom mi ne.
Clear
lyshemustf eel
somethi
ngt henorshe
wouldntbesmi li
ng.Wepullupatthehouseand
Irel
uctantl
yletgoofherhand.Itsearl
yMonday
morning,possibl
ythecrackofdawn.Ioffert
o
carr
yherbagi nandshel et
sme.Sheopenst he
doorandSi mjumpsonher ,thankfuckIm
behi
ndherorshewoul dvefal
len.
Thando:
Hibaby
..
.
Si
m:Hi
.Di
dyoumi
ssme?
Thando:Idi
d.Butl
etschati
nthemor
ning,
Im
real
l
ytir
edandneedt osl
eep.
Si
m:Okay
.Let
sgosl
eep.
Sim grabsherhandandl eadsherupstair
sto
herroom.It akeherl uggagetomyr oom,force
ofhabit,andgol ockup.WhenIgobackt omy
room, Ifi
ndThandot herechangingi
ntopjs.She
turnsandsmi lesatme.Herbodydoes
somet hi
ngtomey ho.Imlit
eral
lyswall
owingso
much, causeImf uckendr ooli
ng.
Her
:Goodni
ght
Sheleansinonhertoesandki
ssesthecor
ner
ofmymout h.Shegr
absmydick,
winksand
walksout.Fuckme!

~Thando~
Aft
erIleaveMelisi
zwesr
oom Irunupstair
sto
Si
msr oom.Whydi dIdothat?ButyhoIthi
nkit
s
got
tenbigger.I
twasneverli
kethi
swhenwe
werei
nt i
mate.
Aaahswearatmeal lyouwant ,butIwant
Melisi
zwesbodyonme.Ihav enthadsexi na
whil
eandr ightnow,Icoulddowi t
hsomegood
l
ov i
ngbeforethenextsemest er.Butmay beI
shouldntdoitwithhim causeIknowIwi l
lcatch
feel
ingshardandf astandtheni twil
lall
be
gameov erforme.Ineedt odot hisstrat
egicall
y
soitdoesntbackfir
eonme.Assoonasmy
headhitsthepill
ow,it
slightsoutforme.
I
nthemor
ning,Iwakeup,
washmhf aceand
br
ushmyteet
h.Thenwrapmysel
finagown
andgoout
.
Mama:
Mor
ningsunshi
ne.Oool
ovet
her
ed!
Igi
ggles,morelikeblushandMeli
sizwewas
si
tt
ingtherelookingallsor
tsofdi
vi
neandI
swall
owhar d,t
hinkingaboutl
astni
ght.
Me:
Mol
weni
Ma,
yougood?
Her:
Imfi
nebaby
.HowwasChi
cago?Di
dyou
enj
oy?
Me:
Uhm.
..
BeforeIcananswermyphoner i
ngs,
its
Thandiswa.Meli
sizwei
slooki
ngatme,
checkingmeout.Ha!Letthegamesbegin.
Me:
Excuseme.
..Hi
baby
.
Isaywal
ki
ngout,IcanhearMel
i
sizwehuf
fand
Iwantt
olaughsobadly
.
Thandi
swa:
Hinana,
howwasi
t?
Me:
Amazi
ng.Di
dyouseemypi
cksoni
nst
a?
Her
:Yeah.Andt
heonesy
ousent
.
Me:YeahsoIm comingbackWednesdaysowe
cant
alkandcat
chupnhe?Gr eetl
i
ttl
eonefor
meanddaddydearest.
Her
:Okaymyl
ove.Il
ovey
ou
Iwal
kbackandf
indMel
i
sizwest
ari
ngatme
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
Her
:Awusekhosexynj
e.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Ha.
akeuy
azi
bona?
Her
:Mel
i
sizweul
apho
Me:
ewe
Her
:Yout
ryi
ngt
omakehi
mjeal
ous.
Me:
Yesbaby
,yho!
Her
:hahaIhopey
ouknowwhaty
oudoi
ng
Me:
Babet
rustmeIknow.
Her
:hahaokayby
ebaby
.
Me:
Noy
ouhangup.
Her
:Ohumnt
anabant
usi
sono.
Mel
i
sizwel
ookssopi
ssedl
i
kehecanj
ustcr
y.
Me:
Lov
eyoumost
.Mwa.
MakazihangsupandMel i
si
zwest or
msoutof
t
hekitchen.I
m hol
dingi
nmyl augh.Yj
othat
wasfun..

Afterbreakf
ast,SaziandIwashdi shesand
headupst ai
rstogoshower .Theni gobackt o
Mel i
sizwesroom andgetcl ot
hestochange.
ThankFuckhesnother eorhedf uckmesi ll
y,
andofcour seIwoul dntsayno.Mel isi
zwecan
fuckshamey ho!Igetwetj ustthi
nkingabout
thewayhesl ideshisbigj ui
cycocki nme, orthe
wayhi stonguecircl
esar oundmycl itortheway
hesucksmyni pplesor..
.mmmm. .
.letmest op
beforeIsearchforhim andr i
dehim unti
lmy
thi
ghsbur n.
Azi
isj
ustt
hesweet
estsoul
ever
.Iv
ebeen
pl
ayingwi thherthewholeti
meandshesj ust
beautif
ulman.Shehashermot her
sdimples
andherf atherseyes.Sher
eall
yisabeauti
ful
soul.Icanspendhour swatchi
ngher.She
smilesal ot,
speaksbabylanguageandsuper
hyper.
Mel
i
sizwe:
Your
egoodwi
thki
ds
Hestartl
esme.Wher ethef uckdoeshecome
fr
om looki
ngthisdangerouslyhandsome.He
doesnteventr
y.Helooksj ustli
kehi
smom, t
he
eyes,t
hehairandthoselips.Mygoshthosel
ips.
Hi
m:Thando?St
opdr
ool
i
ngy
ho.
Ismi
l
e,f
uckI
vebeencaught
.
Me:
Im not
.Justt
hinki
ng.
Hi
m:About
?
Me:
Howmuchy
out
akeaf
tery
ourmom.
Hel
ooksatmeconf
used.
Me:
Yeah,
youhav
ehersmi
l
eandey
es.I
tsr
eal
l
y
cut
e.
Helaughs,
mor
eli
kebl
ushesandwal
ksout
.
Bi
ngo!

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Idontknowwhat sgoingonwi t
hThando.Shes
bei
ngsof r
iendlywit
hmeandcompl i
ment i
ng
me.Notf orgetti
ngthedickgrablastnight.
Whati ssheplay i
ngat?Isshetryi
ngtohi ntt
hat
shewant smebackoram Ij ustr
eadingt oo
muchi ntoit?Ihopeshedoesnthav ea
boyfr
iendorI l
lfuckhim up.Nx.
It
sl unchandwesi t
ti
ngatt hetableeati
ng,
Thandoi ssit
tingnexttome.Shedr opsher
napkinandpi cksitup,thenlaysitonmyl ap.
Okay ?Notlongaf t
er,If
eel herhandgoing
undermyt racksuitpantsandt ouchi
ngmy' man'
.
Whati sshedoi ng?Slowlyandgent l
y,she
strokeshim andplayswi thhim.Mmmm. .
.that
feelsdamngood.I mtryingtokeepast rai
ght
facebutI m sl
owlystarti
ngt of ail
.Ikeep
dri
nkingmywat ertosuppr esst hemoancaught
i
nmyt hr oat.Thando!Herhandmov esfast
er
andf aster.Fuckme, shesj erkingmeof f.Mmm. .
damn. ..baby .
.arethewor dsr unningthrough
mymi nd.Im getti
nghar derandhar der,
justas
Im gettingcloseshest ops.Pul lsherhandout
andlicksherf i
nger.
Her
:Mmm.
..t
ast
esgood.
Mama:
Thanky
oubaby
.
Fuck!Mymanhoodi st
hrobbing.Ineedto
rel
easeorI
llexpl
ode.Whatisshepl ay
ingat
?

Mymanhoodev entual
lygoesdown, wel laft
erI
fi
nishedwhatThandost art
edalone.Ifeel so
disgusti
ngnow.Lastt imeImast urbatedwas8-
10y ear
sago.Nx.Uy andi
qhela(
shebel it
tl
esme) .
Any wayIm si
tt
inginmyr oom r
eadingr eports
andr ev
iewi
ngdocument s,whent heresasof t
knockonmydoor .
Me:
Comei
n.
Thandowal
ksi
n,cl
osi
ngandl
ocki
ngt
hedoor
behi
ndher.
Her:You'
l
lhav
etobequi
et.Ev
ery
onei
supand
about.
IdontrespondcauseIdontknowwhatshes
tal
kingabout.Shecomest othebedandpul l
s
myl egsoIm sitt
ingwithmyfeetontheground.
Sheopensmyl egandkneelsbefor
eme, t
hen
takesoutmymandi ngo,smi
lesandsays
Thando:
Itssohuge.Whathav
eyoubeeneat
ing?
Befor
eIcanr eply,shehasmei nhermout h.
Ooohgoodheav ens.Thankyou.Hertongue
doeswander stomycock, especial
lyt
hetip.
Shereall
yknowshowt opl
easureme.Imuf f
le
mygr oansandmoans.Shegoesdeeperand
pract
ical
lydeept hroat
sme.Myt oescurland
mybackar chessl i
ghtl
y.Or
gasmi cshi
tri
ght
here.
Me:Thando..
.baby
..
.st
op.
..i
m..
.c-
c-cummi
ng.
.
sss.
..f
uck!
Iexpl
odei
nhermout
handsheswal
lows.Wow!
Shecomesupandgi
vesmeali
ghtpeck.
Her
:Yout
ast
esogood,
itsaddi
cti
ve.
Shewinks,smi
lesandl
eav
esmyr
oom.What
j
usthappened?

~Thando~
Aftergivi
ngMel i
sizweoneheckofabl owjob.
Iv
ebeenav oi
dinghiml ikeapl ague.Imov edmy
cl
ot hesfrom hi
sroom andputi tinSuzis.Iv
e
beensl eepi
nginherr oom sinceandkeepi ng
my selfbusywiththegi r
ls.AlotsoIdontbump
i
ntohi m.Atdinner,IsitbetweenSi m andSazi,
mucht oMeli
sizwesirrit
ation.Haha!
Thingsbetweenme, Si
phe,OlwethuandNomsa
havebeenr ockyt
oapoi ntwhereiftheycome
over,
whichwasy est
erday,ibl
atant
lyignor
ed
them byt akingSim outf oricecr eam and
mov ies.Itwassomuchf un.IfitwasntforSim,I
wouldntbeat tachedt ot hisfami l
y,buttheres
somet hingaboutSi mt hatmakesmel oveher
toomuch.Hencewhy ,today ,i
tshardf ormet o
saygoodby e.Mel i
sizwewant edtodr i
vemet o
theai r
portbutIki ndlydecl inedandaskedSuzi .
IwantMel isi
zwet obegandgr oveli
fher eall
y
want smeback.Hesputmet hroughtoomuch
formet ohandmy sel
fov eronasi lverpl
atter
.
Nahboo, thatThandodi edwi thherlastbaby.
Now?I m getti
ngmypowerback.I veletpeople
walkal lovermet oodamm much.NowI ma
war r
ior,afighterthatwi llnotletanymanwal k
alloverher .
[
10/
30,
06:
01]Wadz
:£37
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Hehehe!YhouThando.Idontknowwhether
shesacowardorsmar tbutI
m damnsureshes
stupi
d.Sheknowsshesplayi
ngwithf
ir
e,butyet
sheaddsfueltoital
l.Heman!I
m goi
ngt ocr
ush
herbonesandmakeherhat esexwhenIm
thr
oughwithher.Yhoshesbrave,
Imeannone
ofmyexsev erdaredtodowhatshesdoneto
me.IguessthatswhyIlovehermost.Shes
dif
fer
entanddaring.
Theholi
dayshavecomet oanendandt odayis
Sunday,t
hedaybeforeschoolsbegi
n.Si
mi sso
exci
tedandSuzigotajobsoshebegins
Monday.It
ssafetosaythatthemoodar ound
thehouseisqui
tejol
l
y.
Mama:
Mel
i
sizwe.
.
Me:
Ma?
Her
:Pl
easechangeAzi
.
Me:
Nopr
obl
em.
IunhookAzi
f r
om mom andtakeher
.Shes
poopedanditreal
l
ysmell
s.NahIcantf
am yho.
Me:
Suzi
.
Her
:No,
doi
tyour
sel
f!
Ipoutandl
ookatmybabygi
rl
,whoi
snow
sucki
ngherthumb.
Her
:Dada.
I
m shocked.
Her
:Dada.
Ismi
l
eatherwi
thtear
sgl
i
steni
ngi
nmyey
es.
Shej
ustsai
dmyname
Her
:Dada
Me:
Yesbaba.I
m dada.
ShegigglesandItakeoffhernappy.
Rhaaaaaaaaa!!Ohmyshi tI
m goingtovomi tI
cant
.Itsmel l
sanditsbrowney-
dark.Yeeer!Im
gaggi
ngbutnonet helessIchangeherusi nga
l
otofwi pestowipeherbum.Sies.AfterIm
done,Idisposeofthenappyandgodownst ai
rs
wit
hher .
Mama:
Isi
tcl
ean?
Me:
Ewe
Mama:
Didy
oual
sowi
pehernunubud?
Me:
No.Justherbum.
Sheswat
smewi
tht
hedi
shcl
oth.
Her
:uzot
yabukaumnt
wana(
she'
l
lgetnappy
r
ash).
Me:
see?Thi
siswhyIsayy
oudoi
t.
Mamashakesherhead, takesAzi fr
om meand
walksof
f, sweari
ngunderbr eath.Obviousl
yat
me.Hayi neveragai
n.ThisiswhyAzi hasa
nannyathome.Sot hingslikethisdonthappen.
Iknowshesmychi l
dbutIcant .Il
lhappily
changethepeenott hepoop.Rha.

IdropAziatYonelashousethengobacktomy
condoandchill
forabit.Letmecall
Thando.
Shepicksupafterthe4thri
ng
Her
:Hel
l
o?
Mywor
dsar
ecaughti
nmymout
h.Fuck,
too
l
atet
obackoutnow.
Me:
Hey
.
Her
:Mel
i
?
Me:
Yeahbaby
.
Baby?Wheresthi
scomingfr
om?Whysitso
hardtot
alktoher
?Shewasoncemine,
may be
that
swhyIcanttal
ktoher.
Me:
Imi
ssy
ousomuch.
Her
:Oh?
Me:
yeahj
ustcal
l
edt
osayt
hat
.
Ihangup.Thi
sist
oomuchf
ormenow.It
urn
overandcal
li
tani
ght
.
Thenextmor ning,Ibur
ymy selfi
nwor k,t
ryi
ng
toavoidthi
nki ngaboutThandobuti t
st ono
avail
.Every
timeIgetami ni secondtot hi
nk,al
lI
thi
nkabouti shermout haroundmycock,
hit
ti
ngthebackofhert hr
oat .YhoIm dist
urbed.
Reall
y,I
m ment albecauseofher .Myphone
r
ings.
Me:
BigBr
o.
Him:Heywanahangtoni
ght?I
mintownand
coul
ddodri
nkswithmyli
ttl
ebro.
Me:
Yourt
reat
?
Hel
aughs
Hi
m: Okay
.Butyour
eunfair
.Youmaketr
ipl
e
whatIdo,
butyetImustpay.Your
eal
l
yareyour
f
ather
schil
d.
Il
aughsohar
d.Langat
hough.
Me:
Ofcour
se.Seey
oul
ater
.
Hi
m:Yeah.Wi
l
ltexty
out
het
imeandpl
ace.
Hehangsup.Langanev ersaysgoodbye.Ev
er!
I
tsl
ikehehasaf earofsayinggoodbye.Wei
rd!

~Thando~
Cl
assesandassi
gnment
sandt
est
swi
l
lbet
he
deathofmey hu!Iv
edone4oft he6andal ready
Im exhausted.Secondyearissodenandi ngy ho
andIt houghtthi
ngswouldgetbetter.Iv
esent
myexam mar kstomybur serandtheysai dthey
werepr oudtojavesponsoredme.Ifitwasntf or
them, Iprobabl
ywouldntbepushingt hi
shar d.
Melisi
zwei sthel astthi
ngonmymi ndatthe
moment ,infactanyguyi s.I
m soswampedi n
workthatIm begi nningtolosemyf emi ni
ne
touch,Thandiswaswor dsnotmi ne.Heee
speakingofher ,shespr egnantagain.Yhoher
andDav i
ddontpl ay.Theyar ethecutestandare
soinloveitsgr oss.ButIlovethem.They
i
nspiremet of allinloveagain.
It
stestweekthi
sweekandI m wri
ti
ngunt i
l
Wednesday.I
m ov er
whel medIwontl ieand
couldr
eall
ydowi thsomesexual r
eleasetoput
thi
ngsint
operspective.Butwherewi l
lIget
causeIwil
lnotmast urbate.Ha.
aitsnotthe
same.Andafterthewhol eKev i
ndebacle,I
min
nomoodt osearch.Ihav equit
eadi l
emmaon
myhands.

Myphoneri
ngs,
Mel
i
sizwe.Whyi
shecal
l
ingme
att
hist
ime?
Me:
Bhut
i
Hi
m:Il
ovei
twheny
oucal
lmet
hat
.
Hesoundsdr
unk.Superdr
unk.
Me:
Hey
.
Hi
m:Ar
eyousl
eepi
ng?
Me:
Iwas
Hi
m:Di
dIwakey
ou?
Me:
No.
Hi
m:oh.Sowhoy
ouwi
tht
her
e?
Me:
Im al
one
Hegi
ggl
es.Whatt
hef
uck?
Him:Oh.Youknow,
your
esobeauti
ful
.And
sexyandyoumakemeveryhor
ny.
Il
augh.Hai
bo?
Me:
Thanky
ou,
yourhandsomeandsexyt
oo.
Hi
m:Real
l
y?
Me:
a.ha
Hi
m:That
sni
ceofy
out
osay
.
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Him:
Taki
ngoffmypants.Butt
heydontwantt
o
comeof
f.Canyouhel
pme?
Isupr
essagi
ggl
e.I
sheser
ious?
Me:
ButI
mfarnj
e.
Hi
m:Noy
our
enot
.You.
.you.
..
Thent
heresmuffl
ingandshuf
fl
ingand
swear
ing.Whati
shedoing?
Hi
m:It
ookt
hem of
f.Ineedt
opee.
Me:
Okay
.
Hi
m:Pr
omi
sey
ouwonthangup.
Me:
Ipr
omi
se.
Hesoundsul
tr
asexywhenhesdrunk.Haw!My
Mel
i.Thent
heresapeei
ngsound.
Me:
Mel
i
?
Hi
m:I
mint
hebat
hroom.Wai
t.
.
Ikeepqui
et
Hi
m:Baby
?
Me:
Im her
e.
Him:I
m sorr
y.Ishoul
dnthav
eletyougo.Il
ove
yousomuch,andIwanttofuckyousohardbut
mostl
yIlov
ey ouand.
..
Hemumbl
esonandon.I
tssocut
e.
Me:
Iknow.
..
Hi
m:Wai
t.
..wai
t.
..ssssh.
..i
m notf
ini
shed.
..
Ikeepqui etandli
stentohismumblesunt
ilhe
fal
lsasleep.Ialsosleep,
withahugesmil
eon
myf ace.
Testweeki sfi
nall
yoverandtodayi
sFriday
.Im
goingoutt oday.Hopefull
ywit
hQambaor
Jason( mynewLaml arepl
acement)
.Jasonisso
cool andhappy .Hesdoingengi
neeri
ngandits
quitediff
icultt
oseehim butwhenIdo,itsa
bl
ast .
Ipullupoutsi
demyapar t
mentandt heresar ed
fer
rarit
here.Haibo!Anditsinmyspot .Did
Davidbuyanewcar ?OrisitJasons?Iwonder .I
parknexttothecarandIgoupt omyf l
oor.My
doorisunlockedasIopenup.Fuck.Shoul dIgo
i
n?Butonl yoneper sonhaskeyst omy
apart
ment ,David.Iwal
kinandr ecei
vethe
shockofmyl ife.
Me:
Mel
i
sizwe.
Hi
m:Hey
.
Hel
ookstodi
efori
nri
ppedjeans,
kni
twearand
l
oaf
ers.Si
mpl
ebutel
egent
.
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoinghere?Howdi
dyouget
i
n?Wher
edyougett
hekeys?
Hi
m: Somanyquest
ionsandyoudi
dntev
en
of
fermesomethi
ngtodri
nk.
Hesleani
ngagai
nstthewallandImt ooscared
t
opasshim andgot otheki
tchen.Ismil
e,and
wal
tspasthi
m.Hel etsmethrough.
Me:
Wine,
jui
ceorwat
er?
Hi
m:Jui
ce.
Hesay sital
lsosexy.Mynunubudisget
ti
ng
wetterbythesecond.Igotothef
ri
dgeand
open.WhenIt ur
nhesi nfr
ontofme,smi
li
ng.
Hi
m:So.
..
Hepull
smecl
oserandcl
osest
hef
ri
dgedoor
.I
swal
l
owhard.
Hi
m:Youpl
aywi
thmet
henr
unaway
?Why
?
Ibi
temybot t
om li
p,suppr
essingamoanand
l
ookdeepi nt
ohishazeleyes.Whyishedo
beaut
if
ul?Im pr
essedonhi m andIcanf
eel
his
'
man'pressedonmybel l
y.
Hi
m:Answerme.
I
tsawhi
sper
Me:
BecauseIcan.
Ipushhim offme, almostl
osi
ngmybal ance
andwal kpast.Pheuw!Thatwascl ose.Ipour
himjuiceandmy selfandgostandont heother
si
deoft hekitcheni sl
and.Hepull
suphi s
sl
eev esandthev einsonhi sf
orearmspopout .
Almighty!Hef ol
dshi m ar
msandl eansont he
cabi
netbehi ndhi m.
Him:
Youknow,youcantrunfor
ever
.Andt
his
gameyoupl
ayi
ngisverydanger
ous.
Me:
Formeorf
ory
ou?
He!Thest
rengt
h.Wher
edi
dthatcomef
rom?
Myshit
.
Him:You.Because,assoonasIgetachance,
I
wil
lFUCKy outi
lly
our esentsex.Doy
ou
under
stand?
Iswal
l
owhar
dandnod.Idontt
rustmy
sel
fto
speak.Hegul
psdownthej
uice,
comesar
ound
andwalksout
.Woah!

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thandiswai sthebest .Shegav emet hekeyt o
Thandosapar tmentsoIcansur pri
seher .Ihad
tobegandapol ogiseandpr omisenott oev er
hurtherthewayIdi dwhenwewer emar r
ied,or
she'dmakemepay .Thewayshesai ditmade
meshakei nmypant s.Yho..
.any way,seeing
Thando, awakenedsomanyemot i
onsinside
met hatIdidntthinkwer ethere.Shesagem t o
hold.Shelookedsogoodi ntr
acksui tpantsand
ahoodi e.Notherusual out
fi
tofchoi ce,soI m
guessingsheshadat oughweek.Ti met oput
mypl aninaction.Ar ound9:30pmIcal lher.
Her
:Hi
.
Shesoundsf
lushed.Ihopeshesnotget
ti
ng
fucked.
Me:
Im pi
cki
ngy
ouupi
n30.Getr
eady
.
Ihangup.Nowt
hebal
li
sinherhand.I
mtaki
ng
heroutt
othecl
ubf
orsomefunti
mes.

Igettoherpl aceat10pm andgoup.Iknock

andsheopenst hedoorlooki
ngallcutei
na
shortdenim skir
t,acroppedhoodi
eand
sneakers.Sheswear i
ngloopedearri
ngsand
ti
edherhai rup.Shelooksamazing.
Me:
Wow!
Her
:Yout
oo.
Shesmi
l
es,
get
sherl
i
ttl
ebagandwel
eav
e.
Me:Isther
eany
thi
ngi
nther
ethaty
ou'
l
lreal
l
y
need?
Ipoi
ntt
oherbag
Her
:Cashandmyphone.
Me:Cash?I
m buy
ing.Phone?I
mri
ghther
e.So
no?
Shesmi
l
es
Her
:No.
Good.
Sheli
ft
sherarmsupt
otakeherbagof
fandI
spotabel
l
yring.
Me:
Whendi
dyougett
hatdone?
Her
:What
?
Me:
Bel
l
yri
ng.
Her
:It
sbeenawhi
l
e.Mar
chIt
hink.
Inod.DontknowhowIf
eel
aboutt
hat
.
Wegett otheclubandwewal kin.Iholdher
handandwegoi n.Sheor dersherdr i
nksandI
j
usthav ewater.Tonight,
itsallabouther .She
goestot hedancefloorandgi vesthiswhi teguy
ahug.Shepul l
shimt oourtable,obviouslyto
i
ntroduceus.
Her
:Hey
,Mel
thi
sisJason.Jason,
Mel
.
Theguysmi
l
esandhegi
vesmeahandshake.
Het henexcuseshi msel fandpul l
sherwi t
hand
theygodanci ng.Thedanci ngl ooksi nnocent
causehesnotgr i
ndingonher .Wizki d-
Come
closercomeson.Sher unst omeandgr absmy
handandpul l
smet othedancef l
oor .Assoon
aswet her e,shest andsi nfrontofmeand
startsgr indingherf i
neassonme, putti
ngmy
handsar oundherbodyandt hrowingherhands
i
nt heai r.Shecanmov e.Inaspl i
tsecond, i
reciprocat ehermov esandi tslikeonl ythetwo
ofusont hef l
oor.Hebodyi slikethatofa
snake, flexibleandt ogetherwi thmi ne,wear e
danger ous.Nev erinami l
li
ony ears, di
dIthink
Thandocanmov e.Fuck, I
m shocked.Iguess
theresst illmuchIneedt olear nabouther .Until
then,Illputsexonhol d.
[
10/
30,
06:
01]Wadz
:£38
~Mel
si
zwe~
Lastni
ghthasgott
obeoneofthebestni
ghts
ever
.Thandohadsomuchfun,
pit
yitendedup
i
nt ears.Wellitwashi l
arious.Soaf terdancing
andbl owingof fsteam, wewenthome.Shewas
ali
ttl
edr unk,okayal ot.Soaskedheri fshe
want edfoodandsheshookherhead, butthen
herst omachgr owl edandIl aughed.Yho!Bi g
mistake!Shest artedt ocr y,sayingthatIm
l
aughi ngatherandIdontl ov eherandI m going
tostar v
ehertodeat h.Hey !Iboughthert ake
outandsheat e.Thengi ggledandki ssedmeal l
overmyf aceasawayofapol ogisi
ng.Mkm
women.Butkei twasf un, regardless.Idropped
herof fandonceIsawshewassaf einside,I
l
ockedheri nwi t
ht hekeyIhadandl eft.
Myphonesr
ingi
ng,
unknownnumberandi
tsa
l
andl
i
netoo.
Me:
Mel
i
sizweMv
elase.
?
:Hi
..
.
I
tsThando
Me:
Hey
.
Her
:Coul
dyoucomeov
er?
Me:
Yeah,
sur
ewhat
swr
ong?
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Youv
elockedmei
n.
Me:
yeah.
..
Her
:YeahsoIneedy
out
oopenf
orme.
Me:
Im conf
used.
Her
:Mybagwi
thmykey
sisi
nyourcar
.
Il
augh
Me:
Oh.I
m sor
rybabe.
Her:I
tsokay
.ButI
m ser
iousl
ydesperat
ely
hungr
yandther
esnothi
ngtoeathere.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her:Iwasgoi
ngt
ogogr
ocer
yshoppi
ngt
oday
.
Butnow..
.
Shehuf
fs
Me:
Bet
her
einaf
lash.
Shehangsup.

Ipul
lupatherplaceandunlockherdoor.Igot
herasandwi
chandSt eriSt
umpie.Iremember
howmuchshel ovedthose.Shesseatedona
hi
ghchair
,si
ppingwaterandlooki
nggood.My
babyi
sbeauti
fulhaw.
Me:
Hey
.Im sor
ry
Her
:It
sokay
.Thanky
out
hough.
Ihandhert
hef
oodandsheeat
swhi
l
ewal
ki
ng
out.
Her
:Youcomi
ng?
Me:
Wher
ewegoi
ng?
Her:Groceryshoppi
ng.Thandi
swami ghtcome
overforsupperandIdonthavefood.
Me:
Oh.Wel
lI
llcomeononecondi
ti
on?
Her
:What
sthat
?
Me:
Youl
etmepay
.
Her
:Ha!St
ayke.
Stubborn!Yhu!Shewalksof
fandgetsinhercar.
Il
ockupandr unofft
oher,t
aki
ngmywal l
etand
phonef r
om mycarf i
rst
.Thi
shastobet hefi
rst
ti
meThandodr i
vesusanywher
e.Hercarisso
cute,i
tsablackPoloVivowi
thapinkint
erior
.
Me:
Nicecar
.
Shescof
fs
Her
:Thanks.
Me:
Andt
hatr
emar
k?
Her
:Youdr
iveafucki
ngFer
rar
iandher
eyouar
e
t
ell
i
ngmenicecar?Real
l
y?
Shesi
deey
esmebef
oret
urni
ngi
ntot
henext
l
ane
Me: Hai
kengoku!I
tisani
cecar
.It
scut
eli
ke
you.Didyoubuyit
?
Her
:NoDav
iddi
d.
Inodandkeepqui
et.
Her
:HowsbabyAzi
?
Shepar
kst
hecarandunhooksherseat
bel
t
Me:
Great
.Shesai
ddadal
astweek.
Isayandopent
hedoorandgetout
.Thengo
aroundt
ohersi
deandwewalkintoget
her
Her
:That
ssocut
e.Youmustbeagr
eatdad.
Me:
Itr
y.
Shebeamsatmeandweheadf
orChecker
s.

Wegoupanddownt heisl
es,pr
act
ical
l
ybuyi
ng
ev
eryt
hing.Thengot
ot hewineandshebuysso
much.Howmuchi sshedrinki
ng?Whyisshe
dr
inki
ng?
Me:
Somuch.
Her:Yeah,somef orJasonandQamba.They
askedmet ogetsomef ort
hem,t
henDavidand
j
ustnjeforvisi
ts.
Inodandkeepmut
e.Idontwantt
osay
anythingthat'
l
lpissheroff.Wegettothecheck
andt heyscanev er
y t
hing,whenit
stimetopay ,
I
whipoutmycar dandgi veitt
othelady.Thando
grabsi tandgiv
est heladyhers.
Me:Si
si,
dontt
akehercar
d.I
twi
l
ldecl
i
ne,
take
mi
ne
Thando:Thi
sguyhasbeenstal
ki
ngmef
ort
he
pastcoupl
eofdays.Pl
easedont
.
Me:
Dontl
i
e.
AndIki
ssher,t
odistr
actherwhil
etaki
ngher
car
dandgivi
ngtheladymine.Thandogiggl
es
andswatsmyarm
Her
:Thanky
ou.Butnextt
imes,
Il
lkneey
ou.
Igaspandshegi
vesmeadar i
nglook.I
tsso
cutet
hatIf
indmysel
fsmi
li
ng.HowcanInot
l
oveherwhenshesthi
spl
ayfulhuh?
Igrabherbum asshewalksoffandshegroans,
l
oudly,causi
ngpassbyer
stolookatus.Ncnc
nc.Thando!Weoffloadthegrocer
yinhercar
andgobacki
n.
Thando:
Wimpy
,myt
reat
.
Ishakemyheadno,
Im notcomf
ort
abl
elet
ti
ng
herpay.
Thando:
PleaseMel
.Baby
..
.
Shepout
s.Ei
sh.Thi
swomanknowshowt
o
makememelt.
Me:
Justt
hisonce
Shegigglesandt
hrowsherar
msaroundme
andkissesme.It
sdeepandpassi
onat
e.Then
pul
lsawayanddr agsmetoWimpy.Whenlast
di
dIeather e?

~Thando~
BreakfastwithMel
isi
zwewasgr eatbut
unfort
unatelyhehadtogo.I
mj ustgrat
eful
that
hecameandwedi dntdoanythi
ngbecauseI
woulddef i
natel
ybemiser
ablenow.
I
mi nthekit
chencooki
ngdinnerformypar
ent
s
becauseIknowthatThandii
stheonewhogave
Melimykeys.Mxm.
Dinnerisser
vedandIdeci
denottoi
nter
rogat
e
Thandi.Shewasdoingi
toutoft
hegoodnessof
herheart.
Ma:
Howwast
heweekend?
Me:
Fine.
Her
:Justf
ine?
Me:
Yeah.Your
s?
Dav
id:
Great
,amaz
ing,
spl
endi
d.
Thel
ookateachot
herandDav
idt
urnspi
nk.
Mhmm.
Me:
Okayenoughl ov
ebi
rds.St
opr
ubbi
ngi
tin
myface.Igeti
t.
Theybothgi
ggl
eandcarr
yoneati
ng,wi
thli
ght
chatt
erandl
aught
erspr
eadi
ngthr
oughoutt
he
tabl
e.
Af
terdi
nner
,Iwashup,lockandgot
omyr
oom.
Assoonasigeti
n,Idozeoff.
Myphonesoundsl
ikei
tsr
ingi
ngfr
om afar
,i
sear
chfori
tinmybedandanswer
,rat
her
sl
eepy
Me:
Hel
l
o
Mel
i
:Baby
.
Gosh.Whenhecall
smethat
,especi
all
yinhi
s
voi
ce,makesmyinsi
demelt
.
Me:
mmm?
Hi
m:Yousl
eepi
ng?
Me:
mm.
m
Hi
m:Oh.Wel
lIcal
l
edt
osayI
vear
ri
vedsaf
ely
.
Me:
Ohgood.Sl
eepwel
lmyangel
,I
m sl
eepy
.
Hi
m:Sweet
estofdr
eamsbabe.By
e.
Hehangsup.Howr
ude.Doesntev
enwai
tfor
any
one.AndIsl
eep.

Thenextcoupl eofday sar edrywithMel

occasional
lycall
ingmeandt ext
ing.Busi
ness
men.Mxm.Buty est
erday ,hesaidthathesgota
ver
yi mportantmeetingt oattendtodayandhed
appreciat
eifIdidntdisturb.Mxar i
ght.
Im atthemall
,shoppi
ngforundieswhen
somet hi
ngcatchesmyey e.I
tst
hesebeauti
ful
l
aceandsi l
kundiesgoingatR670each.Yhoa
l
otofmoneybutIbuyt hem.Nowi tst
imeto
play.
AssoonasIgethomeIshowert henputon
somemake- up.Notal otj
ustenought o
highl
ightmyf eat
ures,thenweartheundi es.Oh
wow!Thenudeonei sj ustdoi
ngt hi
ngst ome,
yho.Itakeoutmyl aptopandst ar
tshoot i
ng.
Thebr aiscompletel
yl aceandsoi sthebottom.
Youcanseeev ery
thing.Thentheresthe
compl ementrysi
lkgownt hatonlycov er
swhat
needbe.It
aket
hem of
fandt
henwearmynav
y
ones.
Im nowdr essedinj
eansandoversizedteeand
edit
ingmypi cs.AssoonasIm satisf
ied,Isend
twot oMel i
capti
oned:NudeorNav y?Then
switchmyphoneof f.Thi
swil
ldefinatel
ydr i
ve
him crazy
.Haha!
[
10/
30,
06:
01]Wadz
:£39
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Themeet i
ngisasuccessandnowI m onmy
wayt omyof f
ice.Myphonepi ngsandIr et
ri
eve
i
tt olookatthemessage.Ohmyf uckenshit!
Yhoooo!If oundmy selfwhistl
i
ngwhenIseet he
twophot os.Whyi sshedoi ngthistome?Nude
orNav yisthecapt ion.Il
ikethem bot h.Iwant
toripoffbothandl eaveherexposed.Iqui ckl
y
dialheranditgoesst rai
ghttov oi
cemai l
.Again,
stil
lthesamer esult
!Shit.Shesdoi ngthison
purposeandI ml et
tingher.
Igr
abmybagandessent
ial
sandl
eav
e.I
m not
i
nther i
ghtstat
eofmi ndtobeher e.Ineedto
goany wher
eorel seIl
lfi
ndmy sel
finPE
betweenThandosl egsmakinghersqui r
tandI
dontwanttodot hatbecauseIwil
l hurther
,
badly
.

AssoonasIgethome, Itakeawar m showerto

rel
ievet
histensiononmyshoul der
s.Icanteven
getbabyAzi becauseIhadhert hewhol e
holi
dayandYonel awant edtospendt i
mewi t
h
her.SoIm allal
onet hi
sweekend.Istepoutof
theshowerandi tdidnthelpatall
.Igof oraj
og
andstil
lnothi
ng.YhoIneedt obeburieddeepin
Thando.Fuckt hi
sshi t
.
Igetintomyheli
copterandDanf l
iesusoffto
PE.Assoonaswel and,mymer cedesiswai t
ing
formeandIgetinanddr i
vetoThandospl ace.
Im goingt
ohavesomegoodf unwi t
hherbefore
Isavageherup.Ont heway ,
Istopbyanadul t
storeandgetamini vi
brat
ingthing.Thi
swi l
l
dri
veherinsanef orsure,
she'
llknowwhatIm
madeof.Igeti ce,l
iquorandicecream.I
m
keepi
ngitforjustincasethi
ngsgetsteamyand
sheover
heat s.

~Thando~
Ther
esaknockonmydoorandIgoopen.I
ts
Meli
looki
ngdanger
ous.
Hi
m:CanIcomei
n?
Ist
epasi
de
Me:
Hel
l
otoy
out
oo.
Mel
i
:Hi
angel
face.
Heleansoverandgivesmeadr
yki
ss.Hesmad.
Icanseeiti
nhiseyes.
Hi
m:Dr
ink?
Heholdsupabott
leofbr
ownstuffandIshake
myheadno.Iwanttobesoberf
orthi
s.He
pour
shimsel
faglassandaddsi
ceandpour s
mej uicewithnoiceandgoesov ertothecouch.
Hesi t
sont hefarend,awayfrom meand
switchesont henews.Im si
tt
ingaloneonthe
bi
gcouch, weari
ngonlyanoversi
zedshirtand
pjshor t
s.Iopenmyshi r
tandlookunderandIm
st
ill
wear ingthenavy.Yho!
Mel
i
:So.
..
Il
ookupathi
m andgoqui
et.
Hi
m:Whatar
eyoupl
ayi
ngat
?
Igi
vehi
m abl
ankst
are
Me:
Idontknowwhaty
out
alki
ngabout
.
Hi
m:Youdont
?Wantar
ecap?
Igul
pdownmydr
inkandj
ustkeepl
ooki
ngat
hi
m.
Him:Okay
,youki
ssmeandgr
abmydi
ck.Then
youki
ssmeonmyl eg.
Shoul
dIcont
inue?
Ishakemyheadno.Hesi
psonhi
sdr
inkand
gl
aresatme.Ihav
enochoi
cebutt
olookdown,
oraway.

Ther oom i
sf i
l
ledwithsil
ence,
thetvoff
,onl
y
withMelisi
zwesipingslowlyonhisdr
inkand
l
ickinghi
sl i
ps.Suddenl
yheget supandcomes
kneelsbeforeme.
Hi
m: Thando,
Iaskedy
ouaquest
ionandy
ou
di
dntanswer.
Heputstheglassont
hef l
oorandget sbetween
mylegs.Idontknowwhy,butIm scared.Hi
s
gazei
ssocol danddi
stant
,it
sscar esme.
Me:
Whatwast
hequest
ion?
Thebr
aver
y!Hey
!
Hi
m:Whatar
eyoupl
ayi
ngat
?
Me:
Not
hing.Al
l
sfai
rinl
oveandwarr
ight
?
Heywena!IdontknowwhereIm get
ti
ngt he
st
rengt
hfrom.ButIm onf
ir
e.Hechuckles.
Hi
m: That
swhatt
heysay
.Buti
sthi
slov
eori
s
t
hiswar?
Me:
Yout
ell
me.
Hayi
nibet
huna!Li
kemymouthiscompl
etel
y
det
achedfr
om mybodyIswear
.
Hereachesupandpull
smylegsapart
.And
hol
dsthebott
om ofmyshir
tandli
ft
situp,Il
i
ft
myarmsupandhet akesi
toff
.Hesmi l
es
Hi
m:Iseey
oual
readypi
ckedf
orme.
Hegoesf ormynipplesandgentl
ybi
tesit
,I
moan.Hismout hissocoldonmysof tni
ppl
es
thatt
heyhardenimmedi at
ely
.Hesmilesand
pull
sback.Hetakesmyshor tsof
fandwhistl
es.
Hi
m:Doy
ouknowhowgor
geousy
ouar
e?
Me:
No.
Hi
m:Wel
lyouar
e.
Ibl
ushandheski
mshistongueovermy
nunubudmaki
ngmeshif
tsli
ghtl
y.
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
oscr
eam andsqui
rt
.
Ikeepqui
et.WhatcanIsay
?

I
nthebedr
oom,Meli
iscompl
etel
ynakedand
I
m st
il
li
nmylaceunder
wear.
Me:Pl
easedontr
ipmyunder
wearof
f,Il
i
ke
t
hem.
Hechuckl
esal
i
ttl
ewi
thhi
sheadonmyneck
Hi
m:I
llseewhatIcando.
Hishandi sonmycoochi e.Gentlyst
roki
ngt he
fabricandhismout hmakesitswayt omy
nipples.I
m pull
inghi mtomeandpr essi
ngmy
alreadyhardnipplesfur
therintohismouth.His
otherhandgent lyrubsmeandi tal
lfeel
sgood
atonce.Imr estl
essandmov ingmyhi psin
circul
armot i
on.JustasI m cl
osinginhestops.
No!
Him:Youmakemef
eel
thi
ngsI
venev
erf
elt
befor
e..
.
Witht
hatbei
ngsaidheslowlyanddeli
ber atel
y
ri
psoffmypanti
es.Nooo!Im aboutt
opr otest
buthi
smouthfi
ndsmycl it
,ci
rcli
ngit
,sucking,
bl
owingandgentl
ybit
ing.Thi
smanmar a!
Me:
Aaah!Mel
i
...i
m cl
ose.
..dont
..
.no.
..
Mylegsst
artt
oquiv
erandshake,
Im goi
ngt
o
come,I
m cl
osi
nginandthen.
..

~Mel
i
sizwe~
AssoonasThandonear s,Iputtheiceonher
clitandshest ops.Haha!Thetortur
e.Irepeat
thepr ocedureandev er
yti
mesheget scl
oseto
climaxing,Icoolherdown.Iknowf orsureits
drivingherinsane,havi
ngherpleasuretaken
from her.Final
ly,shecr
acks.
Her:
Meli
..
.pl
easeI
m sor
ry.
..pl
easebabyI
cant
..
.
It
saplea,
almostasob.Ismi
l
eandl
i
ckmyl
i
ps
andgouptohermouth.
Me:
Howsor
ryar
eyou?
Her:
Terr
ibl
ysorr
y,i
twonthappenagai
n..
.just
st
opIcanttakei
tanymor
e..
.
Ismi rkather ,peckherl i
psandt urnherov er.
Shebr ingherkneesupandIsmackherass,
hard!Bef oreshescr eams, Islam mypeni si n
andshel etsoutahugescr eam!Yes!Igetout ,
turnheronhersi deandl iftherl eg.Isli
dei nand
shegr oans.Taki ngthev ibrator,Iplaceitonher
cli
tandst artmov i
ng.Hernunubudi ssotight
damn, I
m enj oyi
ngmy sel
f.Itslikemyown
personal, penisglove.Imov efast erandhar der.
Goingdeepandci rcl
ingmyhi pswi theach
thrust.Shescal li
ngmyname, playingwithher
nipples,biti
ngherl i
p.Herki ttytightensandI
feelclose.
Her
:Baby
..
.Im cumi
ng.
..dont
..
.aaah!
Shesquirtsonme,li
kearunni
ngt ap.Damngi
rl
.
Ifoll
owsoonaf t
erandcomecr ashi
ngdownon
her.Yho!Iswi
tchofft
hevibr
atorandlayonher
andkissher
.Ir
oll
overandwecat
chour
breat
hs.

Shegi
ggl
esandscr
eams.
Her
:Yho!Your
easav
age.
Me:
Onl
yfory
oubaby
..
.
Imlay
ingnearherneckandgentl
ykissi
ngher
andshesgiggl
i
nglikeaschoolgi
rl
.
Her
:That
sti
ckl
i
shst
op.
Imov
ebackandl
ookather
.
Me:
Sincewhen?
Her:
Sincenow.Ihopey
ounotl
eav
inghi
cki
es
al
loverme.
Me:
Inf
act
,Iam.
Her
:Nobaby
,whatwi
l
lThandi
andDav
idt
hink.
Me:
ThatIl
ovey
ou.
Shebl
ushesandki
ssest
het
ipofmynose.How
wei
rd.Ther
essi
l
encef
orabi
t.
Her
:Bhut
i?
Me:
Mmm?
Her
:Whati
sthi
s?
Isi
tuponmyel
bowandl
ookather
.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her:Am Ij
usty
ourr
ebound,
fuckbuddy
,boot
y
cal
l
?
Me:
Hai
bowher
edi
dyougett
hatf
rom?
Her
:Answermyquest
ionf
ir
st.
Me:Iwantyout
obemine.Al
lmine,nooneelse
butme.Youmakemehappy,f
eeljoy,
laughand
exci
tedf
oranewday
.
I
mlooki
ngdeepi
nherey
esasIsayt
his.
Me:
Sowi
l
lyou?
Her
:Iwi
l
ltr
y.
Il
augh.Shecantbeser
ious.
Me:
Try
?
Her:Yeah,
tobet
hebestgi
rl
fr
iendandl
over
ever
.
Me:
Youdonthav
etoy
oual
readyar
e.
Shesmil
esandIsmi leback.IwishIcoul
dhav e
thi
smomentf orever.Shereachesforherphone
andwetakeapi ctogether.Missi
on
accompl
ished.Signed,sealedanddeli
vered.

~Thando~
I
m offici
all
yMelisi
zwesgirl.I
m sohappyr i
ght
now,becauseIhonestlyandt ruel
l
ydol ovehim.
Hemakesmehappyandt hatswhatnatters
most.Ijusthopehedoesntgobackt ohisold
ways.Because,ther
ewi l
lbeanomor eusaf ter
,
i
twillkil
lmeinsi
debutIwi llhavetopickmy sel
f
upandmov eon.ThisishislastchanceandI
hopethatwemakei twork.Forus!
Mel
i
:Baby
?
Mythought
sar
edi
stur
bedbyhi
ssexydeep
voi
ce.
Me:Hmm...hav
eIev
ert
oldy
ouhowmuchI
l
oveyourv
oice.
Heki
ndofgi
ggl
es.
Hi
m:Why
?
Me:I
ttur
nsmeon,
get
smewetj
ustbyhear
ing
i
t.
Hehasaf ull
onlaugh.Hest
opswhenIseeI
m
notl
aughing,I
m act
uall
ybi
ti
ngdownonmy
bott
om l
ip.
Hi
m:Ser
ious?
Me:
Yeah.Babyy
ourv
oicei
sheav
enl
yshame.
Hebl
ushes.
Hi
m:Thanky
ou.
..buty
our
edi
str
act
ingme.
Me:
Sor
ry,
whatwer
eyousay
ing?
Bef
orehespeaks,Igi
vehim al
ongt
ender
smooch,
thenpull
away .
Hi
m:woah!
Ismi
l
e
Me:
Baby
..
.
Hi
m:Ohy
eah,
whathappened?
Hesholdi
ngmybel
l
y.Mybr
eat
hcat
chesi
nmy
t
hroat
.
Me:
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Myvoicei
sshaky
,thr
eat
eni
ngt
oawakenmy
sl
eepi
ngtear
s.
Hi
m:Tot
hebaby
?
Itakeadeepbr
eath.Sipheobvi
ousl
ymust
ve
toldLanga,
whothentoldMeli
.
Me:
Herhear
tst
opped.
Theroom f
all
ssil
entaswebothtakeinwhat
I
vejustsai
d.Aft
erawhil
e,hespeaks
Hi
m:Whydi
dnty
out
ell
me?
Ikeepqui
et.What
?Sohecant
hinkIwast
ryi
ng
togethim back?Ortr
yingtorui
nthi
ngsforhi
m
andhisbri
de?No.Iwant edthebabytobemy
blessi
ngandmyj oy.Withouthi
m.
Hi
m:Thando,
ndi
yat
het
ha!
(I
m speaki
ngt
oyou)
.
Me:
Idontknow.
Heget
supof
fthebed,
hesf
uri
ous.
Hi
m:Youdontknow?YOUDONTKNOW!
Hewasy
ell
i
ng.Somuchf
orpi
l
lowt
alk.
Hi
m:Wher
eyouev
ergoi
ngt
otel
lme?HE!
Ikeepqui
etandl
ookaway
.WasI
?
[
10/
30,
06:
01]Wadz
:£40
~Thando~
Mel
i
sizwei
sgl
ari
ngatme.
Hi
m:Answerbef
oreIl
osemycool
.
Me:
(cal
mly
)Iwas.
Hi
m:When?
Hi
svoi
cei
slow,
tool
ow.
Me: Af
terIgavebir
th.Idi
dntwanttobethe
reasonbehindyourdiv
orcewit
hYonela.You
weresohappyandIdi dntwanttorui
nthatf
or
you.ThatswhyIkeptquietandkeptmy
dist
ance
Hehuff
sandlooksatmei
ntheey
es.Hel
ooks
pai
ned,
regr
etf
uleven.
Hi
m:Butshewasmychil
dtoo.Di
dyouhateme
t
hatmuchthaty
oudi
dntwantmeinyourl
i
fe?
Ishr
ugmyshoul
der
s.
Me:Nothate,
well
ali
tt
le.Justdi
sappoi
nted,
sadandangry.
Hestandsupandcovershisfacewi
thhi
s
hands.I
m guessi
ngf
rustr
ated.
Ms:
What
sthat
?
Hepeaksatmet
hroughhi
shands
Hi
m:What
?
Ipoi
ntt
ohi
speck.Looksl
i
kewr
it
ingofsome
sor
t.
Hi
m:At
att
oo.
Iqui
ckl
ygetupandcr awlt
ohissideoft
hebed
andpul
lhi
m closersoIcanlookati
t.Myhear
t
melt
simmediatel
y.
Me:
Mel
i
Thando?
Hesmi l
esandlooksaway .Ibeam athi
m.Oh
mygosh, i
m oncloud9,howcut ei
she.Ipul l
hi
mt omeandhel aysontopofme.Ir oll
him
overandlayontopofhim andkisshisleftt
orso
whereournamesar e.
Me:
So.
..
Hi
m:Yeah.
Me:
Why
?Whati
fwedi
dntgetbackt
oget
her
?
Him:Iwouldvetri
edharder.ImeanitwhenIsay
Il
oveyou.IknowIhurty oubabyandIwilll
i
ve
mylif
etryi
ngtomakei tupt oyou.I
m sosorry
Thandoforhurt
ingyouthewayIdi d.
Hesl
idesdownandkneel
sbesi
dethebed.By
now,
myt ear
sarebegi
nni
ngtofal
l
,onebyone.
Him:Baby ,Imadeal otofempt ypr omises
befor
eandIknowI '
l
lhav etoprovemyl oveto
youandIwi l
l.I
m notr iskingl
etti
ngy ougoagai n.
Youremyl i
feli
ne,myr easonf orbreathing,f
or
l
ivi
ng.Ineedy ouThando, andIknowand
understanditwi l
ltaket i
mef oryout ofull
ytrust
mewi thy ourheartagai n.ButIm will
ingtowai t
becauseI dratherwai tforyouthanl osey ou
for
ever.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
WakingupnexttotheoneIlovehasgott
obe
t
hebestfeel
ingever.Shesl
ookingatmeandI
f
eelshy.Whyisshedoingthist
ome?
Her:
Youmaket
hecut
estugl
yfaceswheny
ou
sl
eep.
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.Thandot
hough.
Her
:Goodmor
ning.
Shepl
ant
sasof
tpeckonmyl
i
ps.I
m bl
ushi
ng
sohar
dnow.
Me:
Mor
ning.What
sthet
ime?
Her
:past6.
Me:
Soear
ly?
Her
:Yeah.
..andi
tlooksl
i
kei
tsr
aini
ngt
oday
.
Shesnugglesi
nclosert
ome.Herbare,warm,
softski
nonmine.Thisf
eel
soutofthi
swor l
d.I
fi
ndmy sel
fmoaning,my3r
dlegonherthigh.
Her
:Your
esohar
d.
Me:
Fory
ou,
alway
s.
Shegi
ggl
esandf
lexsherhi
p.
Her
:Baby
?
Me:
Mmm?
Her
:Whydoy
oul
oveme?
Sheshi
ft
sherheadandl
ooksatme.Fuck.Shes
put
ti
ngmei nt
hespot
li
ght
.Ihat
ethi
s.Icl
ear
mythroat
.
Me: Wel l
,fi
rstl
yy ourwar m hear
t,yoursmi l
e,
yourey es,yourlaugh,howy oushowpat ience,
l
ov eandcar einal lthi
ngsy oudo.Howhumbl e
youar eandhoweasyy ouar etolove.Youdont
pretendt obeany oneel sebutyourselfandt hat
aloneat t
ractsmet oyou.
Shesbl
ushingsohar
dwi t
hherdi
mpl
eshowi
ng
andhercheekssl
i
ghtl
yred.
Her
:Real
l
y?
Me:
Yeah.
Shegi
ggl
esandki
ssesmybear
d.
Her
:Ar
enty
ougoi
ngt
oaskme?
Me:
Im scar
edoft
heanswer
.
Shepokesmysi
demaki
ngmej
erkal
i
ttl
e.
Her
:Ohwhat
sthi
s?MrMv
elaset
ickl
i
sh?
Me:
No,
dont
.Pl
easeor
..
.
Shedoesi
tagai
nandIl
augh.
Me:
Thando!
Shestopsandbitesherlowerl
ip.Seduct
iveI
tel
lyou.Sheedgescloserandkissesmeagain,
thi
stimeroll
ingmeov erandgetti
ngontop.She
hol
dsmyal readyerectpeni
sandsl i
desmein.
Damn...

I
m wear i
ngonlymypjpantsasIsitandeaton
theki
tchencount
er.Thandoissi
tti
ngopposite
me,onlyweari
ngmyshi r
t.Westealglances,
no
onesayingaword.Sheshif
tsinherseatandIm
j
ustquiet.
Me:
Foodt
ast
esgr
eat
.
Shesmi l
esandnods.Igetupandgoar ound
andputtheplateinthesinkandstandbehind
her.Herbreat
hstartschangi
ng.I
m effecti
ng
herthewayshesaf fect
ingme.It
sar el
ief
.I
wrapmyar msar oundherandlaymyheadon
hershoul
der
.
Me:
So.
.
Isaywhileni
bbli
ngonherearl
obemakingher
squi
rm andgiggl
e.Iki
sst
hebackofherear.
Shejustsmell
ssogood,i
tsmesmeri
sing.
Her
:Mmm?
Me:Mypl
ansfort
odayar
erui
nedbutIal
way
s
hav
eabackup.
Shesnor
tsatmyr
emar
k.Okay
?
Her
:Whi
chi
s?
Me:
Mov
ies,
foodandy
ou.
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Andme?Whataboutme?
Me:Dowhateveryouwantandgett
oknowyou
bet
ter
.Whatdoy ouwanttodo?I
my our
sbabe
soanyt
hingyouwantyoucanhave.
Shesmi
l
esandsi
ghs.
Her:
Okay.ButI
m notcooki
ng.Junkfoodi
s
whatIwantandIseeyouboughticecr
eam.
Sheunfol
dsfr
om myembraceandwashesour
pl
ates.I
mjustsi
tt
ingadmi
ri
ngherbody
.Damn.
Her
:St
opdr
ool
i
ng.
Me:HowcanInotwheny
oul
ookt
hisdamn
good?
Shebl ushesandlooksdown.Ipullher
i
nbet weenmyl egsandlockherin.Theholdher
faceandki ssi
tallover
.Shesgiggli
nglikea
l
itt
leschool gi
rlwhichmakesmysoul r
ejoi
ce.
Afterawhi l
eIstopandunhookmyl egs.
Her
:Your
etoocut
e.
Me:ha!Cut
e?I
mtoool
dtobecut
e.I
m nota
baby
.
Her
:Youar
e.Your
emybaby
.
Ismilel
ikealovestr
uckf
oolandshesmiles
back.Shereachesuponhert
oesandkisses
theti
pofmynose.
Aft
ershower i
ngandf ool
ingaround,we'
reatthe
mall
, l
ooki
ngforwarm clothesforme.Shes
hol
dingmyhandandI m holdi
ngherpurse.My
babykodwa!Isettl
eforahoodi e,j
eansand
boots.Igotothebathroom andchange.WhenI
comeoutshesst andingwithabeautif
ulyoung
l
adyandt hei
rlaughi
ng.
Me:
Hey
.
Her:
Hi.Babythi
sisQaqambamybestf
ri
end.
Que,Meli
sizwe.
Que:
Oh?Hes.
..ohnowonder
.
Sheextendsherhandandgi vesmeaf i
rm
handshake.Thandosli
desherhandinmyback
pocketandsqueezesmybum.Ial mostjump.
Tshini
!Il
ookatherandsmi lewhil
stshakingmy
headsli
ghtly
.Ift
hisiswhatbeingi
nloveisli
ke,
thenIwanttofalli
nloveoverandoveragain.
WithThando!
Me:
Pleasedt
omeety
ou.
Her
:li
kewi
se.
Amancomesourwayandwrapshisarms
ar
oundQueandshegi
ggl
es.Wai
t,Iknowhi
m.
Me:
Sanel
e?
Hi
m:Mel
i
sizwe?
Webot
hgetexci
tedandshar
eabr
ohug.
Me:
Dude?
Hi
m:Br
a!Longt
ime.
..
Me:
Yeah.Whathav
eyoubeenupt
o?
Que:
Youknoweachot
her
?How?
Sanel
e:Hi
ghschool
andv
arsi
ty.
Me:
Besty
ear
s..
.wel
lofschool
.
Webothlaugh.Sanelei
say earyoungerthan
mebutthewaywewer einhighschoolyou
woul
dnev ersay
.Aftervar
sit
y,weallgraduat
ed
andweseemedt olosecontactwitheachother
.
Butnow,
we'
reback.
Hi
m:Br
a,whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
hissi
de?
Isi
gnal
toThandousi
ngmyhead.
Hi
m:Oh.Youst
ayher
eorj
ustweekendt
hings?
Me:
Weekendt
hings.Boy
fri
enddut
ies.
Wel
aughandf
istbump.
Me:
You?
Hi
m:Ist
ayher
ewi
thmyl
ovel
ywi
fe.
Me:
Oh?Congr
atsman.
Ilookathim andQueandt heyrer
eall
ygood
together
.Sanelehandsmehi sphoneandIput
mynumber si n.Thandoissilentt
hewholeti
me
andwel eave,aftergr
abbingjunkfoodonthe
way .

~Thando~
We'
rebackatt
heapar
tment
,cuddl
edont
he
couchwi
thapizzabet
weenus,
wine,
snacks
andachi
ckf
li
ck.
Hi
m:Whyy
ousoqui
et?
Me:
Nor
easonwhy
?
Him:Ev
ersi
ncewevecomebackf
rom t
hemal
l
,
youv
ebeenquiet
.
Me:
Real
l
y?Idontknow.Di
dntnot
ice.
Hi
m:mmmm.
..sowhat
syourf
avour
it
ecol
our
?
Random!
Me:
Uhm.
..gr
ey.
Hi
m:What
?Gr
ey?
Me:
Yeah.
Hi
m:I
tssogl
oomy
Me:Hai
bo?Youl
i
kebl
ackandIdontsay
any
thi
ng
Hebl
ushes
Hi
m:Not
hat
sdi
ff
erent
,bl
acki
sbeaut
if
ul.
Hewriggl
eshi
sey ebr
owsandIcanthel
pbut
l
augh.Suchastoege.Whoknew?
Hi
m:Il
ovei
twheny
oul
augh.
Ismi
l
eandhehasasadexpr
essi
ononhi
sface.
Hi
m: Pi
ty,Icoul
dntmakey
oudot
hatmor
e
of
tenbefore.
Iholdhi
shandandhel
ooksatmei
ntheey
es,
helookssosad.
Me:
Wel
lyoudonow.
Il
eanov
erandgi
vehi
m ar
eassur
ingki
ss.

I
mint
heki
tchen,
inonl
yat
-shi
rt
.
Why ?Wel l
,youguessedit,Meli
sizwef
uckedme
onthecouch.I twaseroti
candst eamyand
wonder f
ul.Yeah,youcangoaheadandj udge
meandsayI m givi
ngmy sel
ftooeasil
ytohim
butifypuvenev erbeeni
nlove,pl
easetake
severalseatsdown.Ilov
eMel isi
zweandIddo
anythi
ngforhim.AndIknowf orafacthe'dgo
thr
oughhelltobewi thme.Thisr
ighthere?Thi
s
i
swhat si
mpor tantri
ghtnow.Thefactthatwe
haveeachotherandar ewil
li
ngtodowhat ever
i
ttakestobet ogether.
I
m busyi
nthefri
dgewhenhecomesupbehi
nd
meandmov eshi
shandaroundmywai
st.
Me:
Missme?
Hesaysnothi
ngexceptputhishanddownto
mycoochieanddi
phisfingerin.Mmmm..
.he
t
akeitoutandput
sitinhismout h. .
Hi
m:Yout
ast
esogood.
Andhewalksaway
,wit
hthefi
ngerst
il
li
nhis
mouth.I
mtoshooktosayany
thi
ng.WhatcanI
say
?
[
10/
30,
08:
40]Wadz
:£41
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Todayi
sSunday,
thedayIgobackt
oCape
Town.I
m sadtol
eave.Ir
eal
l
ydontwantt
ogo.I
wantustost
ayi
nourbubbl
efor
ever
.She
complet
esme.
Me:
Idontwantt
ogo
Her
:Idontwanty
out
oleav
e.
We'reatt heterminal,
sul
ki ngov ermydeparture.
Thisweekendwasnot hi
ngshor tofbl i
ssf
uland
Iwishi twouldntcomet oanend, causethi
s
comingweekendIwontbeabl et ocome
becauseAzi iscomi ngtome.Iwi shThando
couldcomewi thmebutshehast oatt
end
school .YhoIreal
lyfeell
ikecr yi
ngnow.Thi sis
heartbreaki
ngsay inggoodby e.Ipullheri
nfora
l
ongki ss.Ipourall myemot ionsinthiski
ssand
icanf eelmycheeksget tingwet .Shemustbe
cryi
ng.WhenIpul laway,shel ooksdownandI
wipehert earsaway .
Her
:Whenwi
l
lIseey
ouagai
n?
Me:Idontknowbaby.I
m goingtoGhanafora
weekandthenTanzani
aafter.Iwi
shyoucoul
d
comewithme.
Her
:Met
oo.
Shehasahi ccupandwi pesherfall
i
ngt ear
s.My
heartf
eelsli
keit
st ear
ing.Thi
siswor sethan
whenwegotdi vorced,becausenowI m ablet
o
ful
lyunderst
andandacceptmyf eel
ingforher.
Her
:Wi
l
lyoumi
ssme?
Me:
Mor
ethanwor
dscandescr
ibe
Her
:Met
oo.
Me:IloveyouThando.Ir
eal
l
ydopl
easenev
er
f
orgetthatokay
?
Shenodsandkissesmeonemor eti
mebefor
eI
getoutandgointotheheli
copterbackhome.
Mytearsareonthebrim offall
i
ng,butI
composemy sel
f,ashardasi tmaybe.

~Thando~
Theweekissl
owlywear
ingmedown.Ithi
nkIm
goi
ngcrazyi
nthi
aapart
mentbecausei
tfeel
s
l
ikeitssuff
ocati
ngme.Ev eryt
hingsmell
sand
remindsmeofhi m,from t
hebedsheets, t
ot he
couchandev enthefood.TheFOODPEOPLE!
Howmyf oodsmellsofhim baffl
esmetoo.And
no,Ihaventcri
ed,j
ustgri
m andmoody .And
seei
ngQueandSanel emakesi twor
se.Ishould
apologi
setoherforsnappingatheryesterday.
Okayher eswhathappened, sheofferedto
comepi ckmeupbecauseIt ol
dherIdontf eel
l
ikedriving.Sheknowsv erywellhowdownI ve
beenaboutt hiswholelongdistanethingwith
Meli
sizweandy etshestil
lrubsherand
Sanele'sl ov
eandhappi nessinmyf ace.LikeI
needt hatshi tr
ightnow.SoIsnapped.Li ke
real
l
ysnappedanddi dnttalktoherthewhol e
dayti
ll now.
Herphoneisri
nging,unanswer
ed.Shepr
obabl
y
hat
esme, Iwouldtoo.Itr
yagai
nandshepicks
uponthethir
dring.
Que:
Hel
l
o?
Me:QueIm sorr
yforsnappi
ngaty
ouyest
erday.
Thatwasr
eallybit
chyofmeandImtr
uell
ysorr
y
aboutt
hat
.Pleaseforgi
veme.
Her:
Baaabe!I
tsokay
,ImeanIki
ndofdeser
ved
i
t.
Me:
No.Youdi
dnt
.
Her
:It
sokay
.Wantmet
ocomeov
er?
Me:(si
gh)noIm notgoodcompanyatthe
momentandI m goingtogohome.I
tsl
i
ket hi
s
apar
tmentissuffocat
ingme.
Her
:Ohokay
..wel
lIm her
eify
ouneedme.
Me:
Iknowt
hanky
ou.Lov
eyou.
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Lov
eyout
oo.
Sanel
esayssomet
hingi
nthebackgr
oundand
Quegiggl
esandt
henscr
eams.Idropthephone.

I
m backathomeandI
m enj
oyi
ngev
erymi
nut
e
ofit
.ThandiswaandDavidarespoil
ingmeand
Amor eandI mfeel
ingat
adbitoverwhel
med.I
dontli
keitwhenpeoplefussoverme,it
s
annoying.Iknowtheymeanwellbutsti
l
l.
Me:
Im goi
ngbackt
omor
row.
Thandi
swaputsdownherforkandDavidclear
s
hi
sthroatwhi
l
ewipinghi
smout hwitht
he
napki
n.Weatthedi
nnertabl
ehavingsupper.
Dav
id:
Why
?Doy
ounotl
i
kei
ther
e?
Me:
No.Whatmakesy
out
hinkt
hat
?
Thandi
:Wel
l,
baby,y
ouhardl
yevercomehome
andwhenyoudo,y
oustayforashor
twhi
leand
l
eavesoqui
ckly
.
Real
l
y?
Me:
Real
l
y?
Theybot
hnod.
Dav
id:
Hav
eIdonesomet
hingt
oof
fendy
ouor
?
Me:
Noo,
goodgr
iefno.Yout
wohav
ebeen
spect
acul
arandt
hegr
eat
estpar
ent
stome.
Justt
hat.
.
Ei
sh,
canIsayi
t?Feel
swei
rdt
hough.
Dav
id:
What
?
Me: Yourenewlywedsyouknow.Justmar
ried.
Freshoffthemarket
.SoIdidntf
eell
ike
i
ntrudingorheari
ngThandi
moan.Ivebeen
tr
aumat i
sedonce.
Thandigasps.AndDavi
dburst
soutl
aughi
ng.
Thenshestartstocr
y.Ahoh!
Her
:Soi
tsme?
Me: Nooo!Imjoki
ng.JustthatIonceaccidentl
y
heardy ouguy
sandt henitcl
ickedthaty
our e
sti
l
ly oungandinyourhoneymoonphase.
Thandi
swacr iesmoreandget
supf
rom the
tabl
etoleave.Fuckmeandmybigmouth.Why
!
Davi
disstil
lchuckli
ng,
Him:Dontwor
ryabouti
t.Pr
obabl
ythe
hormones.
Hesmil
esandIsmi
l
efai
ntl
yandwasht
he
di
shes.

Theresaf ai
ntknockonmybedr oom doorand
Thandiswawal ksi
n.Herey
esar epuffyand
hazelbrown.Shecomesov erandhugsmet ight
Her
:Im sor
rybabyf
ace.
Me:
Itsokay
.
Ther
oom f
all
ssi
l
ent
.
Her
:Soy
our
eal
l
yleav
ingt
omor
row?
Me:Ihavean8am cl assMondaywhi chI
absolut
elycannotmiss.I
m present
ingwit
hQue
anditwil
l det
erminewhetherwegot oGermany
ornottheseholiday
s.
Shegasps.
Her
:Yougoi
ngt
oGer
many
?
Me:
Idontknow.Ihopeso
Her
:Forhowl
ong?Whydi
dnty
out
ell
me?
Me:BecauseIdidntwanttogetmyhopesup
f
orsomet hi
ngthatmightnothappenandget
youexci
tedovernothi
ng.
Her
:Oh.Buty
ouwi
l
lgeti
t.Youwor
kreal
l
yhar
d.
Me:
Ihopeso.
Myphoner
ingsandMel
i
sizwesf
acepopsup.
Thandi
:It
hinkt
hat
smyquet
oleav
e.
Igi
ggl
eandshel
eav
es.
Me:
Mynunuber
ry.
..

*
3mont
hsl
ater
*
It
snowNov emberandI m prepari
ngtoleavefor
Germanywi thQueandSanel e.Melisi
zweandI
aregreat.Eventhoughitsl
ongdi st
ancewe
makingitwor k.Lastweek,hebroughtmeback
thesegorgeousdi amondearri
ngsbutIcouldnt
acceptthem.Ha. atheyweretoomuchbutt hen
Iendedupf eeli
ngbadandt ookthem only
becauseheboughtthem wi
ththehopesof
makingmehappy .Dati
ngari
cholderman
though .Hayi!
Todayismyl astdayher ebeforeIleaveandnot
oncehasMel isizwecal l
edoranswer edmycall
s.
AndIknowheswel lcauseYonelapost edapi
c
ofhim andAzi ont hebeachtitl
ed'
Fami l
y
Bonds'.AndIknowi tsfr
om todaycauseSuzi
sai
dhewasatt hebeach.Im somad, l
i
v i
d,
fur
ious!From twoday sagohehasntbeen
answeringmycal ls,nx!Fuckthi
s.
Im onthewayt otheair
portwit
hThandiswa
andDav id,
playingwithAmorandt aki
ngpict
urs
wit
hher .Herspar kl
i
ngblueeyeshav emyheart
melti
ngev eryti
meI m hol
dingher.Myphone
ri
ngsutsMel isi
zwe.
Me:
What
?
Hi
m:Babyhai
bo?
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Hi
m:You
Me:
Mxm.Your
eaboutt
woday
stool
ate.
Hi
m:I
m sor
rynj
e.Iwasbusy
.
Me:Toobusyt
oanswermycal
l
s?Ev
ensenda
f
ucki
bgtext
?Mxm
Hi
m: HaiboThandoIdogethunguponal
otof
t
hings.Ihav
eachildso.
..
Me:Luckyy
ouwhohasami
niy
out
otakecar
e
of
.
Hi
m:NobabeIdontmeani
tli
ket
hat
.Imeant
..
.
Me:
Got
ohel
l
.
Idr
opthephoneandscr
eam outoff
rust
rat
ion.
Davi
dandThandi
swakeepquiet
.
Imeanhowdoeshet hinkIfeel
seeinghim pl
ay
happyfamil
ieswithhusexandnott akingmy
call
sforday
satat ime?Insensi
tiv
eprick.And
whatdidhemeanby' Ihaveachi l
d'
?Ishe
blamingmef ort
hemi scar
ri
ages?Rha!Mxm,
fuckMel
isi
zwe,l
etmegoenj
oymyt
imei
n
Germanyandsecur
emyfut
ure.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Im suchafuckendi ckgeadatti
mes.WhydoI
saythemosti nsensiti
veandhurtful
shittothe
onesIlove?Ivetri
edcal l
ingThandobackaf ew
ti
mesbuti tgoesstraighttovoi
cemail.Shi
t!
Now, beforey oujudgeme, Ireal
lyhavebeen
busythesepastf ewday satwork.Iwasi n
meetingaf t
ermeet ing, si
teinspect
ions,
materialchecks, ar
chitecturaldr
awingsand
budgetcost s.Iwashandsonanddi dntgetti
me
tobreathe.WhenI dgethomeIj ustslept.
Thandowoul dconst antlycrossmymi nd,but
wouldbedi sturbedev er y
timeIthoughtof
call
i
ng.AndwhywasIsobusy ?Well,Iplanon
taki
ngaweekl eavetogoseeheri nGer many .
SoIwaswr appi ngthingsupandIwant editt
o
beasur pri
sebutnow?I m notsosur e.
Andno, t
heresnothing,zero,zi
lchgoingon
betweenmeandYonel a.Yeswehadaf amil
y
dayforAziandthatsit.OnlybecauseIwas
goingaway.AndIdi dntansweranyofmycal l
s
causeIlef
tmyphoneathome.Iwant edtheday
tobejustabouther.YeahIcoul dvetexted
Thandoandnowi nhi ndsightIseeIshouldve.
Butwhatsdoneisdone, nowi t
stimet ofi
xthe
damage.

Awhol eweekhaspastandThandoi snot

taki
ngmycal lswhichisdriv
ingmei nsane.ButI
knowshesenj oyinghersel
f,Iseeherpicson
socialmediawithQueandsomeshesal one.I
nowknowt hefeeli
ngshewasgoi ngthrough
whenIdi dntanswerandIcanassur ey ou, i
ts
tort
ure.IwakeupSundaymor ni
ngandget
readytoleave.Ti
met ogof i
xt hi
ngswi t
hmegi r
l.
Im sonervousnow, wil
lshebehappyt oseeme
orwi l
lshebabgthedoori nmyf ace?
Onthef l
ightther
e,I
mr estlessandagit
atedand
nervous.Idri
nksomewhi skeytocal
m medown.
IguessIvedrunkal i
tt
letoomuchbecauseI m
feel
i
ngv eryfuzzyandsleepy .
Thefli
ghtatt
endantgentl
ywakesmeandDan
takesmetoThandoshot el
.Imveryj
etl
agged
andcoulddowi t
hsomer est
,butThandofi
rst
.I
tal
ktorecepti
on,bookaroom cl
osetohersand
Igoupandknockonherdoor .Mymout hgoes
dryandmypal msfeelsweaty
.
Sheopensl
ooki
ng,
sosexyandbeaut
if
ul
Her
: Mel
i
sizwe?
Me:
Hibaby
..
.
[
10/
30,
08:
40]Wadz
:£42
~Thando~
Argfuck!Isl
am thedoori nMeli
sizwesface.Nx!
Howdar ehecomeher e.Ifi
ndmy sel
fsmili
ng,
howsweett hough,he'
sf l
ownallthewayher e
toseeme.That sreal
lycute.Butno!Im madat
him.Howdar ehet hinkwhathesdonei sokay ?
Lesst hanay earagot hismanwasmar r
iedto
thelov eofhisli
fe!Iwatchedast earsfelldown
hisfaceashepr oclaimedhisloveforher.How
hewoul dpurposelyhurtmeal li
nthenameof
her,Yonela.Whydi dIev engobackt ohim when
i
tscl earthathedoesntl oveme?Becausei fhe
did,hewoul dnthurtmet i
meandagai nwi ththe
sameshi t
!No, I
m done.Thi sismetappingout .
Im notgoi ngtodot histomy sel
fanymor e.I
knowIkeepsay ingt hesamet hi
ngbutt histi
me,
evenmyhear thasl etgo.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
IexpectedThandot obemadbutnotli
kethi
s.
Sheslit
erall
yshutthedoori
nmyf aceand
honestl
y ,
Idodeserveit
.Isi
ghandgot omy
room andsleep,I
m beyondti
red.
Themorni
ngIwakeupandshower.Myheadis
hur
ti
ngbutit
snotasmuchasthepainIf
eeli
n
myheart
.Igetdr
essedandpr
epar
etogoout.
AsIcl
osemydoor ,
Sanel
ecomesoutofhi
s
room,
wearingagown.
Hi
m:Hey
.
Me:
Hi.
Hi
m:Sur
pri
sev
isi
t?
Me:
Yeah,
yout
oo?
Hi
m:No,
somet
hingmywi
fecal
l
sabaecat
ion.
Il
aughandsodoeshe.
Him:Yeah,youngblood.I
fy oul
ookingfor
Thando,shesalr
eadyleft
.You'l
lprobablysee
them t
onightt
houghbecauseQuesai d
somethingaboutAdelebeinghereandwhatnot.
Me:
Oh.Thanksman.
Hi
m:Br
eakf
ast
?
Me:
Please
Hi
m:Gi
veme20.
Inod.Igobacktomyr
oom andgetmy
essenti
alsl
i
kemywall
etandsuch,
brushmy
beardandhair
,gr
abacoatandgoout.
Wesi tatther estuar antwithSaneleandhav e
breakfast
.Chat t
ingaboutol dtimesandnow
andplansf ort hef uture.Weev entual
lyendup
tal
kingaboutwor k.Thedaywi thhimissplendi
d,
him showingmear oundBer l
inanddrivi
ng
around.Weendupgoi ngtot hemov i
esand
comeoutl aughi ngl ikeidi
ots.Wehav eal egi
t
bromancebr ewingl i
ketheol dti
mes.Hemakes
mef eelbetterandr eadyt ofaceThandowhen
shecomesbackwhi chissoon.

Backatthehotelroom,Im pacingupanddown
waiti
ngforThandot ocomeback.Final
lyIhear
herdooropenandIwai t10mi nsbefor
eIgo
knock.I
m nervousbecauseIdontknowwhat
awaitsmeont heothersi
deoft hedoor.I
breat
heindeeplyandknock.Thedooropens
andthereThandostands,i
nallhergl
oryand
magnifi
cence.I
ttakesallmyselfr
est
raintnot
tograbherandkissher.Shel
ooksmadbut
radi
ant.
Me:
Hey
Her
:Hel
l
o
Me:
CanIcomei
n?
ShestepsasideandIgoi n.Assoonasshe
cl
osest hedoor ,
Ipullherinandhol
dher .Just
holdher,nowor ds.Afterawhil
eIpullawayand
smileather.Shegi v
esmeaf ai
ntsmile,
probabl
yt i
redandwegoi nandsitdown.
BeforeIopenmymout h,myphonerings.I
i
gnoreit,butitpersi
sts
Her
:Answeri
t.I
tmaybei
mpor
tant
.
It
akei
tandanswer
.
Me:
Hel
l
o
Mama:Mel
iuphi
(wherear
eyou)
?Azii
ssick.
Weatt
hehospit
alpl
easecomenana,
shes
vomit
ingandbur
ningup.Pl
easecome
mntanam(mychi
ld).
Shehangsup.
Me:
Ihav
etogo.
Ist
andandr
unoutt
oleav
e.

~Thando~
AfterMel i
sizwessuddendepar tur
eIcl
oset he
doorandgeti nt
obed.I m drainedandthi
s,
what everhim andIhav egoingon, i
sover.
Clearlyit
snotar elat
ionship,becausehedoesnt
respectmeorcommuni catewi thmesot heres
nopoi ntinust r
yinganymor e,wellMEtry
ing
anyway .
Theweekf l
iesbyqui
ckl
yandbef or
eIknowit
,I
havetofl
ybackhome.Itsabitt
ersweet
momentbecauseasmuchasIwantt ogo
home,Iwantt ost
ayandlear
nmor e.Butt
hat
s
notpossi
bleandIhavetogo.Queand
Sanz(
whatIcal
lhi
m now)ar
est
ayi
ngf
ora
l
ovecati
on.Cut
e.
Thef l
ighthomei snicebecauseImfly
ing
businessclassthankstoSanele.Myparents
pickmeupf r
om theairportandIcr
ywhenIsee
them.Thandi swaisalmostreadytopopat7
mont hsbutshest heeversobeauti
fuland
Davidisthebest.
Them:
Baby
?
AssoonasIseet
hem,
myt
ear
sfal
l
.
Dav
id:
What
swr
ong?
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ouguy
s.
Theyl
aughandgi
vemeawarm hug.Then
Davi
dgetsmybagsandwegohome.

Imlayi
nginbed,star
ingatt
heroof
,thinking
aboutwhatshappeni
ngbetweenMelisizweand
I.Myphonebuzzes,i
tsatextf
rom Melisi
zwe.
"Mi
ssyousomuchandIcantwaittoseeyou.
Havealotofexpl
aini
ngt
odo.Lov
ey ou,
sweet
estdreamsmyangel"
Ha!Lov
eyoumyass.It
exthi
m back
"
WENEEDTOTALK"
Andsend.That
sal
lIm say
ing.
Myphoner i
ngsagainandi t
shim cal
li
ng.Ar
gI m
notinthemoodf orhi
m andhislit
tl
epathet
ic
excuses.Il
etitr
ingunt
ili
tstops.Thenputmy
phoneonsilentsoIcansleep.
Themor ni
ng,t
herearealotofmessagesfr
om
Meli
sizweandmi ssedcal
ls.Hesaski
ngme
whereIam andtoopenmyapar t
mentdoor
.It
s
ti
meIt ext
edhim andgetthisov
erwit
h.
"
Wher
ear
eyou?
"
Hecal
l
simmedi
atel
y.
Hi
m:Babycanwe.
..
Me:
Wher
ear
eyou?
Hi
m:Pr
otea
Me:
Stayt
her
eIm comi
ng.
Ihangup,getup,maket hebedandt akealong,
warm,soothi
ngshower .Thengetdr essedafter
.
It
shot,DecemberinSout hAfri
ca!Yho!
Unbearabl
e.I
m wear i
ngshor t
s,sheertopand
sandal
s.Igodownst ai
rs,havebreakfastwith
thefamil
yoverli
ghtconv er
sati
onandIl eavefor
Prot
eaHot el
.Im anervouswreckbuti tneeds
tobedone.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
ThetoneofThandosmessagestell
met hat
ther
estr
oublehere.Ihopewecansolv
et hi
s
andmov epasti
t.Ihavetobehopef
ulfora
goodoutcomeinallofthi
smadness.
Ther
esaknockonmydoor
,Iopenandi
tsher
.
Me:
Hi
Her
:Hey
.MayI
?
Istepasi
deandshewalksi
n.Shesit
sont he
couchandIoff
erhersomethi
ngtodri
nk.She
poli
tel
ydecl
i
nesandIgosittoo.
Me:
Baby
..
Shel
i
ftsherhand,
signal
l
ingmet
okeepqui
et.
Her:
Idontt
hinkIwanttocont
inuewi
th
whatev
eri
shappeningbet
weenus.
Me:
Thandopl
easebabydontdot
his.
Her:Ihavet
o.I
mt i
redofbei
ngsecondbest
becauseIdodeser
vemorethanwhatyoure
off
ering.
Me:
Babyl
etmeexpl
ain.
Her:NoMel i
sizwetheresnothingtoexpl
ain,you
keepdoingthesamet hingov erandover
,then
giv
ingmeapat het
icsorryeveryt
ime.Wellthi
s
ti
me, i
tsnotgoingtocutit.
Me:Thandopl
easemylove,I
m sor
ry.Il
ovey
ou,
dontl
etthi
sbetheendofus.
Bynow,shescr
yingandIcanf
eel
myt
ear
s
begi
ntofal
l.
Her:Youdontl ovemeMel isi
zwe, no.
Inf
atuationorlustmay bebutl ov e?Notatal l.
Becausei fyoudi d,
y ouwoul dnthur tme
continuouslywi t
hthesamet hing.Howdoy ou
thi
nkIf eltseei
ngpi cturesoft hehappyf ami ly
onfacebooky etthemant hatcl aimstolov eme
doesntev enanswerhi sphone?Justl asty ear
Melisizwe,onmgFuckenbi r
thday ,Iwatched
youpr oclai
my ourlov eforYonel aandev en
cri
edwhi lesay i
ngy ourv owst oher .Idontknow
whyIt houghtwewoul dwor kwhencl early
youreconf usedwhoy ouwantbet weent hetwo
ofus.

Im bal
l
ingmyey esout,
kneel
ingi
nfr
ontofher
andbegginghernottoendus.
Me:ThandoPleasebabydontl
etwhatcoul
dve
beenbeauti
fulcometoanend.
Sheswi
pingawayherf
all
i
ngt
ear
s,buti
sfai
l
ing
to.
Her:Ihaveto.Forthebothofus.Youknowhow
muchIl oveyoubutitsnotenoughtokeepme
wit
hy ouanymor e.
Im begi
nni
ngtobreakdownsl
owlyandsur
ely
assheutter
sthesepai
nful
wordsatme.
Me:Thando,onel
astchance,
justone.I
lldo
bet
ter
.Il
l.
..
Her:No,nomorechances.Thi
sisit
.Ithi
nkyou
needtogoandfindexactl
ywhatyoulooki
ngfor
.
Andwheny oudo,dontcomebackforme,
becauseIwontbewaiti
ng.
Withthatsaid,
shestandsandwal ksof f
.Ihear
thedoorcloseandIknowf orsur eshesgone.
Whoev ersaidmendon'tcryhasnev erbeen
heart
brokenbyt heonetheywer esur ewast he
one.Thepai nI
mf eel
ingisindescribablethatI
j
ustlayont hefl
oorandletoutabi ttersob.This
i
sallmydoi ng.Ivel
ostthewomanIl ove
f
orev
er(
uThandol
wam l
umnki
l
e).
[
10/30,
08:40]Wadz
:Her
e'sal
i
ttl
esomet
hing
f
ornow..
.

£43
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Idontknowhowl ongIvel
aidont hefloorcryi
ng
buti t
st i
met hatIstoodupandgotahol dof
my self.Weepingwontsolveany t
hing,taki
ng
actiondoes.Myheadi spai
ningbuti t
snot hi
ng
compar edtomyhear tandsoul.Icantexplai
n
howI mf eel
ingbecausewordsar efai
lingme.I
dragmy selfofft
obedandpl ayRKel l
y -I
fI
couldt urnbackthehandsoft i
me.

"Howdi
dIev
erl
ety
ousl
i
paway
Neverknowi
ng,
Idbesi
ngi
ngt
hissong
someday
AndnowI
m si
nki
ng,
Si
nki
ngt
ori
senomor
e
Ev
ersi
ncey
oucl
osedt
hedoor

I
fIcoul
dtur
n,
Tur
nbackt
hehandsoft
ime
Thenmydar
li
ng
Youwoul
dbemi
ne"

Isi
ngal ongasIl ett hetear sfall
.Mamaal ways
sai
di t
sokayt ocr yandl etallyouremot i
onsout,
soy oudontev ercr yfort hesamer easonagain.
Thisiswor sethanwhenIwasgoi ngthrough
depression.Thet earsar ejustfall
ingont hei
r
ownnowasIr emi nenceont hegoodt i
mesme
andherhad.Themi ni dateswewentonwhen
wegotmar ri
edandev ennowt hatwewer e
dati
ng.Itwasl ikewewer emadet oloveeach
other.Oursoul sli
kewat erandrain,thesame.
ButIguessi t
snitenough, orIwouldntbei nthis
hotelroom, cryi
ngov erher.Idbewithhernow,
l
aughi ng,
t aki
ngpi ct
ures,makingsweet ,
devil
ish
l
ov eandsl eepingineachot hersarms.Thi s
ti
me, Ivereall
ymessedupandnot hingont his
greenearthwi llf
ixusorchangehermi ndto
takemeback.Shewasadamentonher
decisionandI l
l r
espectit.ButI
m notgoi ngto
giveuponus.IcantorI m asgoodasdead.

Iwakeup,f
eeli
ngdrai
nedandpained.Ineedto
getoutoft
hispl
ace,NOW!Im donecryi
ng,i
ts
toomuch.
Igetupr at
herbegrudgingl
yandgoshower .Ilet
thewatercascadeov ermyt i
redbody .The
waterisscorchi
nghot ,j
udgi
ngf rom t
hesteam,
butImi mmunet othepain.Im numbt oany
feel
ingonmyf l
esh,j
ustashar ppaininmysoul
thatkeepsgrowingbyt hesecond.Iturnoffthe
shower,
drymy selfandgot otheroom t olot
ion
andgetdressed.Il ookatthetimeandi tspast
8intheevening.Howl onghaveIsleptf or
?And
wil
lIhavetheener gyt odri
vebackhome?I n
thi
sstat
eImi n,Icouldcauseanacci dent.ButI
needto,PortEli
zabet hisstar
ti
ngtocl oseupon
meandI m slowlyst ar
tingt
olosebr eath.
Thedr ivehomei slongandbl urrybecauseI m
cryingasIdr ive.It
sreal l
yirr
it
at ing.Youhav eto
under stand, Im notmuchofat alker,
Ilike
bottlingmyf eeli
ngsup.Formet hat
smycopi ng
met hod.Sot hiswhol ecr yi
nggamei snewt o
meandf rankly,Idontl i
keit.ItmeansIhav et
o
feel eachandev er
yemot i
onI m goi ngt hr
ough
andIhat ei tbecausei tmeanst hatI m
vulner able.Thesef oreignfeelingshav eme
exposedandI m notsur eIm okaywi t
ht hi
s.

Igett
omymother
shouseandgoi
n.Iknock
andmymom comest
oopen.Themomentshe
seesme,
thesmi
l
eonherf
acef
ades
Her
:Babywhat
swr
ong?Whathappened?
Idontwantt
ocryanymoresoIjustshakemy
headandshehugsmetight
er.Eventual
lyshe
l
etsgoandwewal ki
n.
Tat
a:Ndoda,
what
swr
ong?
Langa,
thet
winsandtheirwi
vesar
eal sohere.
Iminnomoodforevery
oneandtheirpit
ystares.
Me:
Mol
weni
(hel
l
oev
ery
one)
Khany
a:Hey
.Babybr
o?
Hegivesmeaquest ioni
nglookbutIi gnor
eit
andturnt
omyr oom.Ihearfootstepsbehi
nd
measIwal k,t
hecologneiseitherdadorLanga.
AssoonasIwal kinmyr oom,Iheadf ormybed.
ThedoorclosesandLangaspeaks
Hi
m:Mnt
akat
ata(
dadschi
l
d),
tal
ktome.
Me:
Thandohasof
fi
cial
l
ylef
tme.Forgood
Isayt
ryi
ngt
ohol
dbackmyt
ear
s,butmyey
es
deceiveme.Whyist hi
ssopai nf
ul?Langa
keepsquietandwalksout.Sigh.Igetundert
he
sheetsandballmyselfup.Thedooropens
againandcloses.
?
:Ki
ddo?
That
sei
therKhany
aorKamv
a.
?
:Getupbhudda!
Defi
nat
elyKamva.Isi
tupandl
ookatt
hem.My
dadsher
etoo.
Khany
a:Whathappened?
Me:Ihappened.Youknow,
ever
ythi
ngIt
ouch
t
urnstoshit
.
Myvoi
ceishoar
seandcracki
ngasIspeak.I
m
r
eal
l
yfall
i
ngapartf
rom t
his.
Kamv
a:Dontsayt
hat
.
Me:I
tstr
uenje.Lookatme,I
m afucki
ngmess
t
hatnoonecancleanup.Andbesi
des,noneof
youwi
ll
everunderst
and,y
ourehappysojust
l
eav
emebe.
Langa:
Your
eki
cki
ngusout
.
Me:
Thi
sismyr
oom af
teral
l
.
Tat
a:Buti
tsmyhouse.
Me:
Fuckt
henI
lll
eav
e.
Igetup,wearmyshoes,gr
abmyshitandwalk
out.Theguysdontutt
erawor
d.Ineedtoget
someper spect
ive.
Mama:
Youcantdr
ivel
i
ket
his.
Me:
Wat
chme.
Igetoutanddr
ivet
othenearestpub.The
barmanisJohnandhesf
riendl
y.
Me:
Keeppour
ingunt
ilI
m numb.

~Thando~
AssoonasIlef
tMel i
sizwespl
aceIdr
ovehome
toThandi
swasplace.WhenIgothome,Ij
ust
cr
iedinherar
msunt i
lIf
ell
asleep.Thi
sisway
worsethanwhenwegotdivorced.Why?Imin
l
ovewithhim,bodyandsoulbutit
snotenough.
Thenextmor ning,Iwakeupwi thaheav yhead
andheav ierhear t.DidIletgot oosoon?Di dIdo
therightthi
ng?Youcangoaheadandcr uci fy
meonmydeci sionbutunt i
ly ouwal kinmy
shoes, y
ou'llnev erfullyunder stand.Notsol ong
ago,Iwat chedhi ml oveanot herwoman,
chooseherov ermecount l
esst imes,shegav e
him abeaut i
ful childwhi l
eIgav ehim nothing.I
havenochoi cebutt oletgo.Iwi l
lalwaysbe
secondbestt oher ,alway s.Ivelost2soul s,
alonewi t
houtMel isizweandsomemi ghtsayI
shouldmov eonbuthowcanIwhenhe
remindedmenotsol ongagot hathehasa
chil
d.Thathur tmemor ethanany thi
ngont his
planet.
I
m standi
ngi
nfrontofthemir
rorlooki
ngat
myself
,Iv
egrownskinnyandti
red.ButIneedt
o
pul
lthr
oughunti
lImov eonfr
om him.
*
6mont
hsl
ater
*
It
sbeenal ong6mont hsandI m slowl ymov ing
onaseachdaypassesby .Im st
ill
singl eandNo
Im notpregnant.Thankgoodness.Ihav ent
beent oCapeTownt ogoseeSi m orspokent o
heront hephonel ately
.It hinkit
st i
meIcutt ies
withthatfami l
yforgoodsoIcanf i
nal l
ymov e
on.Myal arm goesof f,disturbi
ngmyt houghts.
Timet ogetup.Igetupandshower .I
m wr i
ti
ng
myl astexam today.Im sohappy ,Im goi ngto
l
oungear oundt hehousedoi ngfuck-all.It
sbeen
awhi l
esinceI vedonesuch.Any way ,Iget
dressedintojeans,uggsandhoodi e.Imt oo
coldtocaret odayreall
y .Thengoout .
Theex am washar dandlongbutIm gladit
s
overwi t
handat l
eastIt
ri
edmybest .Ipullup
outsidemyapar t
mentandt akethestair
sup.At
mydoor ,isalady.AsIapproachsheturnsto
me, andsmiles.
Me:
Hel
l
o,MayIhel
pyou?
Her:
hel
lo.Yes,
Iml
ooki
ngf
orThandokazi
Nqumbu?
Me:
That
sme.What
sthi
sfor
?
Shehandsmealar
ge,t
hickenv
elopeandIsi
gn
andbi
dherfar
ewel
l.
Iopenupandgoi nsi
de.Idr
opmybagandgo
overtot
hecouchandopent heenvel
ope.I
nsi
de,
amongstotherthi
ngs,i
salett
er.Wi
thmyname
onit,
andit
sr eads
"
ToThandokazi
I
fyou'v
er ecei
vedthisenv
elope,i
tmeansI
ve
f
inal
lysuccumbt othedepressi
onandki
ll
ed
myself
..
."
[
10/
30,
08:
40]Wadz
:Im bet
ternow.
..

£44
~Thando~
Ibl
i
nkbackt
ear
sbef
oreIcont
inuer
eadi
ng.
"I
thadt obedone, Ivebeenbat tl
ingwi thi
tfor
years,duet onegli
gencef rom mymot her
.
Thando, Im sorryforthewayIt reatedy ouover
they earsandy ourmot hertoo.Justt hatIwas
enviousofy ourbondandhowshel ov esyou
withoutev entryi
ng.Mymot her,dadsex- wif
e,i
s
acol dwomanwhonev erreall
ycaredorl oved
us.Shewasbusyl iv
ingherlifetonot i
ceour
exi
st ance.Whenshef inal
lygatheredt he
couraget odivorcedad, sheleftusouti nthe
coldandt hankGoodnessGr andmot hertookus
i
n.
Im wri
ti
ngt hisletterbecauseIcantf acey ou
dir
ectl
y,notaf terthehur tandpai nIvecause
yourmot herandy ouov erthey ears,
butbel i
eve
mewhenIsayIl ov eyou.Notbecausey our
dadschild,butbecauseofy ourfreespiritand
goodhear t.Irememberf rom thet i
mey our e
l
itt
le,
whenI dv i
sitandal waysmakef unofy ou
andhityou, youdst il
lcomet omeandhugme.
Andforthat
,Ithankyou.Goodby
eThandoand
takecar
eofy oursel
f.
Lov
e,
Li
hleNqumbu"

Iburymyf acei
nmyhandsandl eti
tal
lout
.
Hlehle!Mydadsfi
rstchi
l
d,shewas10years
olderthanme.
Aft
erIm donecryi
ngIopenuptheenv
elope
fur
therandther
esanothernot
e
"Thando,behi
nd,Il
eavemydaught er,
Simthandil
eNqumbunowknownas
Simthandil
eMv el
ase,f
indherandloveher.
Takecar eofmychil
dpl easeandmakeherfeel
themot her
lyl
ovethatInev err
ecei
ved.
..
"
Sim?Shesmybabynephew?What ?Whydi
d
shegi
veSim up?Icont
inuer
eadi
ng
"Im sur
ey our
easki
ngyour
selfwhyIgaveher
up,well
,howcouldIl
oveherwhenIdonteven
l
ovemy sel
f?Shedeserv
esbett
erandIknowfor
afactDrMvelaseandhiswi
fecan/
wil
lgiv
eher
t
hat.
Ileavebehindalumpsum ofR3mil
li
onforyou
tofurtheryourst
udi
esatt
heschool
ofyour
choice..
."
Somuchmoney !Ist
opr eadingbecausethisi
s
toomuchf ormet obare.Igetupandgoget
someicewat ertostopt hetears.Thenstar
t
cooki
ngnoodl esandmi nceformy sel
ffor
supper
.Ineedst rengthtogett hr
oughtherest
oftheenvelope.Hey!

Aft
ersupper ,Ipagethrought heenvelopeonce
more.Insi
de, ther
ear epicturesofSim pr obably
fr
om 2y earsago, shesatt hepar k,
someshes
l
aughingatt hemal l
,inother sshesbei ngheld
byDrMv elaseandmam' Naledi.Theresa
part
icul
arphot owher eMel isi
zwei sholdingher
andthey'r
elaughingt ogether.Howcut e!Theres
herbirthcer t
if
icate,let
tersaddressedtoDrand
Mr sMv elaseandl itt
leSim, whichIdontopen,
andawi l
l.Inthewi lli
tgivesmev i
sit
ati
onr i
ghts
toSim, moneyf orherandsomet hingabouther
father.I
tsay sthatherf atherisThembel i
hle
JonasandImustl ookforhim anduni t
ethem
together.Fuck!Andt hatstheonlywayI l
l
accesst heR3mi ll
ionandSi mt oo.Wher ewill
I
startl
ooki ng?Butl uckil
ytheresaphot oofhim
soIcanst alkhim onFacebook.
Ipackupandheadhome.Ineedtoshar
ethis
i
nfosoThandi
swacanadv i
cemeonhowt o
handl
ethi
sinf
oproper
ly.AssoonasIgeti
nside,
Me:
Daaaaaaaaaad!MOOOOOOOOOM!
Dav
id:
Int
her
oom.
Iclosethedoorandgotothei
rroom.Im
practi
call
yrunni
ngwit
htheseenvel
opesto
them.Igetthereandbar
gein,
they'
recuddl
i
ng,
naked.
Me:
Hey
!
Them:
Thando!
Ilookforsomet
hingIcanthr
owoverandcover
them.Oncetheyr
ecoveredIshowt
hem the
papers.

Davi
d:Sowhatdoy
oupl
ant
odowi
tht
he
i
nfor
mation?
Wear
eatt
hedi
nni
ngt
abl
eeat
ingl
unch.
Me:Doasi tsaysandfoll
owt hei
nst
ructi
ons.
Notforthemoney ,
butforthesakeofSim
knowingthetrut
h.Shes7now, ol
denought o
underst
and.ButallI
m worri
edaboutisthe
fat
her.Whatifherej
ectsher?Howwillshe
handl
eit?
Thandi
swa:Yhomnt
anam andi
yazi
(mybabyI
dontknow)
.
Me:I
lldr
ivetoCapeTownandgi v
eittothe
Mvel
ase'
sandseewhatt heydoaboutthe
i
nfor
mation.Theyhav
etheirownlet
ter
sthat
mightexplai
nwhat sgoingonsoi tsuptot hem.
Imjustsadt hatshecommi tt
edsui ci
de.Goest o
showhowdepr essionisanev erending,nev er
heali
ngdiseaset hatcannotbecur ed.It
cri
pplesthesoul andleavesthefleshbeggi ng
tobesetf r
ee.
Davi
d:Yesdefi
natel
y .Icompl
etel
yunder
stand
herr
easons.Thereisal i
mitt
ohowmuchone
canhandl
eandf orhowl ong.
Iagreewi thhim completely.I
mj ustsadIdidnt
gettoknowherbet teroratleastatt
endher
funeral.May bei
tsti
meIr eachedoutt omy
fatherskids.Thatway ,
Iwontgetsur pri
sing
l
ettersliketheseanymor e.
Thatnight,If
indmy selfcr
ying.Depr
essi
on
real
lyisasoul cr
usherandnoonecanr eall
y
understanduntil
youvebeent hereyour
self.It
s
mor ethanbeingsad, i
tgoeswaydeeper .Ijust
wishshecoul dvetri
edt or
eachoutt ome
beforetaki
ngherl i
feintoherownhands.Li hl
e
wasabeaut i
ful
womanwi t
hchocolateski
nand
darkbr
owney es.Herhairwashuge,afr
ostyle
l
ikemineandwasal wayscomposed.Shenev er
hadahairoutofplaceandherbodywast okill
for
.Butke,asIhavelear
ned,underallt
hat,
was
asad,di
stantwomanwhowasst ruggli
ngwitha
danger
ousment ali
ll
ness.Mayhersoul r
estin
peace.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Itsbeen6mont hssi nceI v
eseenorhear df r
om
Thandoandev erydayi sast r
uggletogetup.I ve
tri
edt ogetherbackbutwasshotdownatev ery
attemptImade.ButI m notgivi
ngup, j
usttaking
abr eakandr estr
ategisingonmynextmov e.My
daught erisnothi
ngshor tofamazingandi s
now1y ear6mont hs.Shemakesmel aughal l
thet i
meev enwhenI m madather .Sheisa
talker,
y hobutwalking?Oho!Shej ustdemands
myat tent i
onandshesmypl aceofsanity.Shes
theonewhokeepsmegoi ngdayt odaywi t
hout
fai
l.Hersmiles,gi
ggles,
facesshemakesand
thi
ngsshesay smakemyday .Yonel a?Ei
sh
whatdoIsay ?Shetr
iedseduci ngmeandwel l
..
.
i
m onl yhumanandIgav ein.Butinstantl
y
regrett
editthenextday,becausef orsurenow
IvelostThando,butthenIrejectedherwhen
shet r
iedagain.AndIvesetheri nplacethatI
dontloveherany moreandmyey esareseton
Thando.Shewasal adyabouti tand
understoodandnowshesdat i
nghergy nae.
Wei r
d.

Im athome, I
m hereal otbecausemom want s
toseeAzi andSuzi demandsmypr esence.
Shesnotr eall
ycoolwi t
ht heguysanditsquit
e
sadandt hehousei sdivided.Mom isinthe
middleofitall
.Ijustfeelforher
.Anditsgetti
ng
worset oapointwher eiftheguyscomeov er
Suzileaves.Shesev enaskedmom anddadt o
mov eout.Yho!Idontknowany more.
Thedoorbellr
ingsandIgoopenandIm
stunnedtoseeThandother
e.Herey
esare
puffyandshesholdi
nganenvel
ope.
Me:
Hey
.
Her
:Hi
.Yourpar
ent
shome?
Me:
Yeah.
Ist
andt
her
eandgawkather
,mot
ionl
ess.
Her
:MayIcomei
n?
Me:
Ohsor
ry,
yeah.
Imov epastandshecomesi nandsi t
sont he
couch.Si
m comesi nbounci ngandwhenshe
seesThandoshesgoescr azyandscr eams.
Thandojustbreaksdownandhol dsSimf or
whatlooksli
kedearli
fe.Igoupstairsandknock
Mama:
Comei
n.
Igoi
nandf
indt
hem i
nbedr
eadi
ng
Me:Uhm.
..Thandosher
etoseey
ou,
bot
hof
you.
Tat
agiv
esmom aquest
ioni
ngl
ookandt
heyget
upandwel
eav
e.

Downst air
s,mom, Thandoanddadar esitt
ing
outsidetalki
ngandbyt helooksofthi
ngs,it
s
quit
ehect i
c.Thandoandmom ar ecryi
ng
hysteri
call
yanddadhashi sheadbowed.I
wonderwhat st
hedeal aboutandifThandohas
dri
venal lt
hewayf rom PE.Innoti
me, Langa
comesi n.
Hi
m:Heyki
d
Ichuckl
e.Real
l
y?
Me:
Heybhut
i.What
sup?
Hi
m:Iwantt
oseeSuzi
.Sheher
e?
Me:
Yes.Suzi
!Suzi
!
Her
:Comi
ng!
It
urnt
oLanga.Hesf
umi
ng.
Suzi
comesdownandassoonasshesees
Langasher
oll
sherey
esanddr
agsherf
eet
.
Langa:
HeySuzuki
we!Hav
eyout
oldmom and
dadyet?
Her
:Hel
l
oBhut
i,howar
eyou?I
m wel
lthanky
ou.
Him:Heysundqhel
amna(dontf
uckwithme)
!
Andi
yont
angakho(I
m noty
ourfr
iend)
!
Her
:Exact
ly!Sost
ayoutofmybusi
ness.
Hi
m:Suzuki
we!
!!Wat
chwhaty
ousayt
ome.
Her
:Orwhat
?
Shefol
dsherar
msandgivesLangaadi
rt
ylook.
Langai
sfumingandy
ell
i
ng.
Me:
woah!What
shappeni
ng?
Langa:
Askher
!
Suzi
rol
l
sherey
esandl
ooksatme.
Her
:Not
hing.
Langa:
Bul
l
shi
t!
Her
:Whydoy
oucar
eLanga?
!It
snotanyof
yourbusi
ness.Youv
enev ercar
edsowhydo
younow?Juststayoutofmyl i
fel
ikeyouhave
yourwholel
if
e!Comeher epret
endingtobe
angryandal
lli
keyougivetwoshit
s!
Langa:
Iveal
way
scar
ed!Al
way
s!
Her:
Damnr i
ght!Justl
eavemealone!Okay?I
ts
notl
ikeI
m car
ryingyourbabysoj
ustfuckoff
!
Dad:
What
?!
O.
oh!
[
10/
30,
08:
40]Wadz
:£45
~Thando~
Ohf uck!Thi
sisnothowt heparentswere
supposedt ofi
ndout .Shi
t.IfeelbadforSuzi.
YeahIknewshewaspr eggies,causeIknowt he
guy.Andnoi t
snotKev i
n.ItsMar ksbrot
her,
Alex.Hesabitolderlike28andany way,Suzi
is
23whi chisnoproblem eitherway .
Suzi
:Tat
a..
Si
zwe:
Suzuki
we!
!!Whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
?
Suzi
looksatmewi
thpl
eadi
ngey
esandIl
ook
down.
Suzi
:Ar
eyouhappynow?Getoutofmyf
ucken
l
if
eLungaandthi
sti
me,st
ayout!
Shehi ssesandwhenIl ookupshes
disappearedupstair
s.IrunpastDrMv el
aseand
goaf t
erher.Im scar
edshe' l
ldosomethi
ng
crazy.WhenIgett oherr oom andopen,
shes
furi
ouslypackingwithtearsrunni
ngdownher
face.
Me:
Babewhatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Her :
Imleavi
ng.Thando,
Ivef
uckedupmega
thisti
meandnotev enmom canhel
pme.Iv
e
disappoi
ntedher.
Me:Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?Suzi
cany
ouj
ust
st
op!
Igoov
ert
oherandhol
dherhands.
Me:
Tal
ktome.
Her
: Iwasgoingt
otell
t hem,y
ouknowbutnow
t
hatt hey
'vef
oundoutthisway,Ij
ust
..
.ihav
eto
l
eave.
?
:Younotgoi
ngany
wher
e.
Webotht
urnt
ofi
ndDrandMr
sMv
elaseatt
he
door
.
Me:
Il
lgo.
Igi
veSuzi
ahugandwal
kout
.
Nal
edi
:Thanky
ou.
Me:
Alway
s.

Downstai
rs,Lungaispaci
ngandMel isizweis
si
tti
ngonthekitchencount
ersippingonj ui
ce.
Simissit
ti
ngnextt ohi
m,eati
ngy oghurt.As
soonassheseemsme, sheputshery oghurt
downandcomest ome.
Her
:HeySi
si
,ar
eyoust
ayi
ngher
enow?
Ishakemyhead
Me:
Nobaby
,Ihav
etogobackhome.
Shel
ookssosad
Her
:Why
?
Me:Im baby
sit
ti
ngt
oday
.Imj
usther
etosee
you.
Her
:Real
l
y?Canwedosomet
hingbef
orey
ou
go?
Me:Yeahany
thi
ng.Cany
ougetmesomewat
er
f
ir
st?
Shet
akesmyhandandwegot
otheki
tchen.
Me:
Mol
oBhutLanga(
Hel
l
oBhutLanga)
.Hey
.
Ismi
l
eatMel
i
sizwe.Hesmi
l
est
oo
Hi
m:Hi
.
Langa:
Howi
sshe?Doesshehat
eme?
Me:Arghshe'
llcomearound.Justdo
somethi
ngniceforhertoshowhowsor r
yyou
areandhowmuchy oucareandloveher
.
Hi
m:I
vet
ri
edThando,
Idontknowany
mor
e.
Me:Tryhar
der,j
ustonelastti
me.
Communicati
oniskey.Givehery
ourt
ime,
dont
buyherl
ove,ear
nit.
Henods,
thanksmeandl
eav
es.
Si
m hasgoneupst
airstofet
chhershoesand
i
tsjustmeandMelinthekit
chen.I
tsqui
te
awkwardasnoonetalks.
Hi
m:So,
howst
hir
dyear
?
Me:OkayIguess.Hecti
cbutI
m pul
l
ingt
hrough.
Andwork?HowsAzi ?
Hi
m:Shesgr
owi
ng,
play
ful
.
.wor
ksf
ine.
Inodandsaynothi
ng.ThankfuckSaziwalksi
n,
si
ngingof
ftuneImightadd,andsavesthe
uncomfor
tabl
esil
encebetweenus.
Her
:Hey
!
Me:
Babydol
l
.
Her
:Soont
obe21howdoy
ouf
eel
?
Me:
Nor
mal
.
Her
:hav
ingapar
tyt
ocel
ebr
ate?
Me:
No.I
m notev
enhav
ingacake.
Shepout
s.
Mel
i
:Whynot
?
Me:
Wast
eofmoneyandt
ime.
Henods.Saz
ipout
s.
Her:
Butatl
eastgotot
hemov ieswi
thmeordo
somethi
ngfunwit
hmet hatday?
Me:
Il
lsee.
Si
m comesdownandli
teral
lyt
akesmeaway
,
pul
l
ingmetothedoor
.Ilaugh.
Me:
Byey
ouguy
s!

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Tal
kaboutawkwardvi
bes!MeandThando.
Whatshappeni
ngher
e?We'renev
erawkward.
TheressomuchIwant edtosaybutmyt ongue
fr
oze.Ev eryt
hingshesai dt
oLangawasl ikeshe
wasdi r
ecti
ngatme.Andshewasr i
ght.Seeing
herbr oughallthefeel
ingsIhadbackandIf i
nd
my selfsmili
ng.Iknowi nmyheartthatThando
andIwer emadef oreachother.We'
re
Mel i
ThandoandI dbedamnedi fIl
ethersl i
p
away .Shesmyf orev
er.
Il
ookattheti
meandi t
spast9pm.Ineedt ogo
checkonSuzi
.Haventseenhersi
ncesupper.I
goupstai
rst
otheroom onthefarendand
knock,
noanswer.
Me:
(whi
sper
ing)Suzi
.It
sme.
Iopenandgoi n.I
tsqui
tedar
ksoIcl
oseand
walktoherbed.
Me:
Suzi
?
Ther
essnif
fi
ng.Igoi
nsi
det
hebedcov
ersand
pul
lhert
ome.
Me:
Dontcr
yyou'
l
lupsett
hebaby
.
Suzi
:I
m suchadi
sappoi
ntment
.
Me:Noyour
enot.Yesweexpect
edyoutobea
bi
tol
der,
buti
tshappenedandwe'
reher
enow.
Whatdi
dmom anddadsay ?
Her
:Dadjustaskedaboutthef
atherandmom
j
ustst
oodtherewithsomuchdisappoint
ment
i
nhereyesandwalkedout.Shehatesme.
Shesobshar
derandIbrushherback,
cal
ming
herdownunt
ilshef
all
sasleepi
nmyar ms.

SaziandSuzicomedownst
air
slooki
ngfi
ne.I
whist
leandtheygi
ggl
e.Mamaswat smeonmy
arm.
Me:
Hai
bo!
TodayisFriday,mamaandSuzi madeupand
theguystoo.Theyhadabondi ngt y
pethi
ng
withher.I
twascut ewet
hu, whil
eIwentout
withSim andSazi.Soev
erythi
ngi sgoodand
BabyAzi i
swi t
hmommyt heseholiday
s .But
December
,Ihav
eher
.
Any
way
,backt
oSazi
andSuzi
Me:
Wher
eyoul
adi
esof
fto?
Them:
Lunch.
Me:
Ooof
ancy
!
Theyl
augh.
Suzi
:Mxm kanenewena!We'
ret
aki
ngThando
out,
itsherbi
rt
hdayt
oday.
Ithi
nkmyj awdrops.Howcoul dInotknow?I
takeoutmyphonet ocheckthedate,i
tsthe
15thofJuly.Herbir
thdat
e.Ihavetodo
somethingnowt hatsheshere.
Me:
Ohokay
.Wher
ewi
l
lyouguy
sgo?
Sazi:
That
sforust
oknowandy
out
ofi
ndout
.
Letsgosi
s.
Hehake!Mxm.Isti
ckmytongueoutatherand
sodotheyandthengi
ggl
e.
I
minmyr
oom wear
ingj
eans,
kni
tt
edj
ersey
,
boots, t
renchcoatandbeanie.I
m weari
ng
Thandosf avour
it
ecolour
:greybutwi
thami xof
hazel.IcallSazisoIcantr
ackherwhereabout
s.
Shepi cksup.
Me:
Giv
ethephonet
oThando.
Her
:ar
g!Fi
ne.
.si
sThando,
phone.
Theresali
ttl
eshuff
li
ngnoi
sei
nthebackgr
ound,
thenherangeli
cvoi
cecomest
hrough.
Her
:Hel
l
o,
Ist
artsi
ngi
ng,
rat
hert
ryi
ngt
osi
ng
Me:HappyBir
thday
,dearThando,wishi
ngyou
moreyear
stocome, y
ouknowt hatIlov
eyou,
happybi
rt
hdaytoyou.
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:thanky
ou.
Me:
Whatar
eyourpl
ans?
Her
:Goi
ngtot
hehotel
tofreshenupt
henwe
goi
ngout
.Wel
l,
bei
ngtakenout.
Me:Cany
oucal
lmewheny ougof r
eshenup,
wantt
ogi
veyouahappybi
rthdaygi
ft.
Her
:Okay
.
Me:
Bye.
Her
:By
e.Thanksagai
n.
Shehangsup.Ididntgetheragi
ft
,butIwil
l.
Fir
stletmegetreadytogoseeher,Ihope
every
thinggoessmoothly
.Igooutandheadfor
themal l
.
Atthemall
,Igotoat oystoreandgethera
hugefl
uff
yteddybearandt henthejewell
ery
shopforaneckpiece.Somet hi
ngthatscr
eams,
IwantyoubackandI veneverstoppedlov
ing
you.

Ipullupoutsi
deThandoshot
elandsi
tint
hecar
forabit.I
m nerv
ous.Ibr
eat
heandgoout.Iask
forheratrecept
ionandt
heytel
lmetogoupt o
herroom.
I
m outsi
deherdoor .Thisi
sit,
Iknock.Thedoor
opensandshest andstherei
nalonggr eydr
ess
wit
hjeanjacket
.Shel ooksgood.
Me:
Hey
.Happybi
rt
hday
.
Sheblushesandopensthedoorwi
dersoIcan
goin.Icar
rythebugteddyi
nandshescreams.
Her
:Ist
hatf
orme?
Inod.Shej
umpsupanddownandgi
vesmea
hugebearhug.
Her
:Il
ovei
t.Ohmygoshi
tssobi
g!
Shesqueezest
hebearandki
ssesi
t.
Her
:Thanky
ou.I
tsv
erysweetofy
ou.
Me:
Itsapl
easur
e.Her
eist
heot
her
.
Ihandhertheboxandshegi
vesmea
questi
oni
nglookwhensheseest
hewor
ds
Graffont
hebox.
Her
:Gr
affdi
amonds?
Inod,
shehandsmet
heboxwi
thoutopeni
ng
Me:Noitsy
ours.OpenitwhenIm nother
ethen
i
fitmakesyouuncomfort
able.
Shenods.
Her
:Wi
ne?
Me:
Dri
vi
ng.
Her
:Jui
ce.
Ichuckl
e
Me:
Yeah.
Wegotot hemi
nibarareaandI
m seat
edonthe
hi
ghchair
s.Whenshehandsmet hej
uice,
our
handst
ouchandipull
herin.
Me: Icantgetyououtofmymi ndandi t
sdr i
ving
mei nsane.Yourthefi
rstthingIt hinkabout
wheny ouwakeupandt hel astbef oreIsleep.
Everyspar emomentIhav et othink, y
oureal l
thatoccupiesmymi nd.Ifindmy selfsmili
ng
whenIt hi
nkaboutyoursmi l
eandcr yingwhenI
thi
nkofal lthehur
tIvecausedy ou.Butt hrough
i
tall,youvemanagedt oseet hegoodi nme.
Tear
afor
minherey
es.
Me:Thesepast6mont hswithouty ouhave
beenhellonear t
handal l
Iaskisthaty ousave
mef r
om it.Takemeoutofmymi seryThando.
Youhav emyhear tandsoulinthepal m ofyour
hands.Pleasel oveme.Icantsleepatni ght
knowingthaty oumaybet heonet hatgotaway .
Thandoal lIaskisforanotherchancet oprove
mylov etoy ou.Bepatientwit
hmeandI l
lprove
mylov etoy ou.Letmeshowy ouhowgoodI
cantreatyouandhowmuchIwanty ou.
At
earf
all
sdownmycheek.
Me: Thando,
please.Icantbar
ethisgr
owi
ng
painanymore.Il
lbebetterIpr
omiseandt
his
ti
meImeani t.Justletmewor konmy
communi cat
ionwithyou..
.
Shel
i
ftsherhandandshakesherhead,
tear
s
cr
umbli
ngdownhergorgeousface
Her
:Icant
.Im sor
ry.
Sherunsof
ftotheroom andshut
sthedoor
.I
si
tandlett
hetear
sf al
l
.
[
10/30,08:40]Wadz
:Riseandshine.I
ts
morning.Goodmorningangel
s,herei
ssome
br
akfast..

£46
~Thando~
Myheadi sbetweenmyl egsasIsobbi t
ter
ly.I
heart hedoorcl oseandIl eti
tall
out.Theway
heconf essedhisloveformeshoul d'v
ebeen
enought oletmegor unningbacktohim but
whydi dIturnhim down?Myhear tandsoulare
screami nghisnamewhi lemymi ndisstubborn
andf ullofpride.Imisshim.Ilovehim.Ineed
him.
Isi
tinthi
sposit
ionforawhi
leunti
lmyphone
ri
ngs.Igetupandgogetitf
ronthebarcount
er,
andhesleftt
hediamondboxthere.I
mtoo
scar
edtoopenitsoIt
akei
twithmet omy
room whi
l
eIpagemycontact
s.Itr
ingsagai
n
Me:
Eri
n?
Her:Youready
?Andnoy
ouhav
etocomeno
excuses
Me:
Il
lber
eadynownow,
comi
ng.
Her:
GoodI
m comi
ngt
opi
cky
ouupi
n30mi
ns
okay?
Me:
Okay
.
Af
tert
hecal
l
,Iheadf
ort
heshower
.
Er
inst
aystruetoherwor dsandcomest opick
meupandwegot ot
hecl ub.Thewhol
eway ,
mymindisonMel isi
zweandwhathesai dto
methi
safternoon.Aflashbackofhi
mfeeding
meicecr
eam comest omi nd.
Er
in:
Andt
hatsmi
l
e?
Ishakemyhead.Idontwanttorui
naperfect
nightwi
thsadt
houghts.Funnyhow,ev
ery
t i
me
wealoneeat i
nghe' l
lfirstt
astethefood,thenif
i
ttastesgreat,he'l
lforcemet otryitbyfeeding
me.Ort hetimehet ickledmeunt i
lIli
teral
ly
peedfrom laughing.Hel aughedsohar dhe
al
mostwethi mselfandIwasmadathi mf oran
enti
rehour.Hebeggedmeandt easedmeunt i
lI
gavein.
Er
in:Okaysharewit
hme,
whosemaki
ngy
ou
bl
ush,evengiggl
e.
Il
augh
Me:
Noone,
wil
ltel
lyoui
nduet
ime.
Shegiggl
esandsaysokay.Fi
nal
l
yshepul
l
sup
out
sidethecl
ub,
thenturnstome
Her:
Pleaseletl
oose.Okay
?Enj
oyy
our
sel
fjust
t
hisonetime.Promise?
Me:
Promi
se.
Her
:Thenl
etsgo.
Oht hehangov erIhadi nt hemor ning!Itwasl i
ke
myheadwasf oreignf rom mybody .Ifeltlike
shit
,lookedl ikeshi tandev enwokeupl ikeshit.
ButIenj oyedmy selfthepr eviousnight.Itwas
goodt obey oungagai nandl etmy selfjustt o
rel
ax .Bestbirthdayev er,byf ar.Well,besides
theMel i
sizwesaga, whi chmakesmesadwhen
Ithi
nkabouti t.SoIsett hiset hought sasi de,
wellfornowwhi l
eI m nur singmyt hrobbing
head.Ilazilygetup, shower ,
getdr essedand
getpackedt oleave.I m sogl adDav idspi cking
meupsomyt eddycancomet oo.Myphone
ri
ngsandi tshim
Hi
m:I
m her
ebabycakes.Comel
etsgo.
Me:
Okayber
ightdown.
Ipackupevery
thi
ngthatbelongstome, al
most
for
gett
ingt
heboxandl eave.Davi
dhel psme
carr
ymystuffandweleavei nhi
sprivateplane
backhome.Niceli
fepr
oblemsIt el
lyou.
Hi
m:Di
dyouenj
oyy
our
sel
f?
Me:
Yest
hanky
ou.Andy
ouandmommy
?
Hel
ooksdownandsi
ghs
Hi
m:We'
l
lbeokay
.
Istandupandgogi
vehi
m ahug.Hel
ooksso
sad.
Hi
m:Amor
ehasbeenaski
ngf
ory
ounon-
stop
Me:
Hessogr
own.Ladi
esman.
Hel
aughsandsodoI
.
Hi
m:Thando,
doy
out
hinkI
m abaddad?
Me:
Nowhy
?
Him:
Iacci
dentl
ydroppedBl
essi
ngyest
erday
andI
vebeenfeel
ingli
keshi
tsi
nce.
Me:Mi
stakeshappenandy oudidnoti
ntendon
doi
ngi
tsodontbeatyourselfupabouti
t.
Henodsandlooksaway
.Shame,
thepoorguy
seemsdi
str
aught.
Wel
andbackhomeandwedr
ivet
ohi
shouse,
andAmorj
umpsonmet
hemi
nut
eIgoi
n.
Hi
m:Imi
ssedy
ou.
Me: Metoo.Your
esogrown.Il
eav
efor2day
s
andcomebackt oagr
ownman.No, st
op
growing.
Hegiggl
esandIkisshi
m.Iwal
ktot
heki
tchen
andgogreetThandi
swa.
Me:
Heysexymama.
Shegiggl
esandtur
nstomet
ogr
eetme.Her
eyesarepuf
fyandred.
Me:Heywhatswrong?Boy/boygotothepl
ay
r
oom andI
llcomeplaywit
hy ounow.Letme
t
alkt
omommyf i
rst
Amor
:Okay
.
Isethi
m downandher
unsof
f.
Thandi
swa:
Ithi
nkt
hehoney
moonphasei
s
over
.
Me:
Why
?
Sheshr
ugs.
Me:
Doy
ouwanti
ttoend?
Her
:No.
Me:
Thendontl
etit
.Itsal
li
nyourhandsmom.
Got
alkt
odaddy,I
llf
ini
shup.
Her
:Im doneany
way
.
Sheswi
tchesof
fthest
oveandwewal
ktot
he
st
air
shandinhand.

Amori saplay f
ul,
busy1yearoldwhor uns
aroundalot.Hehar dl
ytal
ksli
kehisfatherbut
whenhest artshedoesntstopli
keThandi swa.
Duringsupper,Thandi
swaandDav idcantst op
steali
ngglancesateachotherandsmiling.Its
weirdandgr oss.Wonderwhattheyvebeenup
to.
Me:
Il
lwasht
hedi
shes.
Thandi
smi
l
esatmeandDav
idsay
snot
hing.
Inbed,Ili
eawakethi
nki
ngaboutMel
i
sizweand
Ijustcanthel
pbutsmil
e.

*
4mont
hsl
ater
*
~Mel
i
sizwe~
It
sbeen4mont hssinceI veseenorspokent o
Thando.Ev ersincesher eject
edme, Ivebeen
dyingslowl yont heinside.Butl i
femustmov e
on, I
vebeenhav i
ngmeani nglesssexwi t
hsome
chicksbutt hatwast womont hsback.I
tsnow
almostt heendofNov ember ,whichmeans
schoolsar ecl osi
ngsoonandIcanhav eAzi.
Shest urningt wothi
sDecemberandI m not
throwingherabi gparty.Justt aki
ngheroutto
eatwi t
ht hef am andmakesur eshehasaf un
day .
I
verel
ocat
edtoCapeTownandIm acondoi
n
t
own.Iputmyol
doneupforsal
eandlooki
ng
i
ntofi
ndi
ngasui
tabl
ehome.
Todaysweatherisgloomyandrai ni
ng,andIm
i
nnomoodt ogot owork.Ical
linsickand
l
oungearoundt hehouse.Mydoor bellr
ings,
mustbethepizzaguywi thmyor der.Igrabmy
wall
etandgot othedoor,assoonasIopen, I
m
st
unned.
Me:
Thando?
Shessoaki
ngwetandl
ooksasi
fshesbeen
cr
ying.
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe.
.
Me:Comein.I
llgety
ousomet
hingt
odr
y
your
sel
f.
Shenodsandwalksin.Ir
etr
ievet
omyr oom
andgetatowelandsmallfl
eecebl
anketand
handthem t
oher.Shesmil
esandwr apsher
sel
f.
Me:
Tea,
cof
fe,
hotchocol
ate?
Her
:Hotchocol
atepl
ease.
Shehassli
ghthi
ccupsandhervoicei
sbreaki
ng.
Thi
sisbreaki
ngmei nsi
de.Imakeaquickcup
ofhotchocol
ate.WhenIm doneIgobackand
shessti
ll
standi
ngnearthedoor,shi
ver
ingand
shaki
ng.Ihandherthecup
Her
:Thanky
ou.
Me:
Comesi
t.
Sheshakesherhead.
Her:Ivebeensuchafool whoselether
emot i
onsgetthebett
erofher.Iv
ebeensobusy
focusi
ngont henegat
ives,for
getti
ngal
lthe
good.
Shesayst
hiswi
tht
ear
sst
reami
ngdownher
face.
Her:Im sor r
yMel isi
zwef orbreakingy ourheart
andsay i
ngal lthosemeant hingstoy ouback
then.Tr uthis,Iwasani nsecureandj ealous
foolwhocoul dntseet hegoodt hatwasi nf r
ont
ofher .IloveyouMel isizwesosomucht hatits
start
ingt opainmebecauseImi ssy ou
everyday .Yourl augh,yourv oice,yourbear d,
yourtongue, yourhands,yourwarm hugs,
cologne, t
hecut efacesyoumakewheny ou
sleepandt hesexy ,deepgroanyoumakewhen
somet hingtastesgood.Ifyouvemov edon
pleaset el
lmeandspar emet hefur
ther
embar rassment ,soIcanleave.
.
Shelooksupint
omyey
esandt
hey
ref
il
ledwi
th
sadnessandpit
y.
Me:
Ihav
ent
.Iv
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
Her
:Why
?WhenI
vebeensuchabi
tch?
Ishakemyheadandmov
ecl
osert
oher
Me:Noyouhavent
.Justsomeonewhosbeen
hur
tagr
eatdealbytheoneshelov
es.
.
It
akeherfacei
nmyhabdsandwipehertear
s.
Thenbendandketmyli
psfi
ndhers.Herl
i
ps
aresocol
dbutthey
resof
tandful
l
..
Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
AndI
venev
erst
oppedl
ovi
ngy
ou.
Shesmi lesandsodoI .Ourmomenti sruined
byt hedoorbel l
,i
tsthepizsaguy.Ipayupand
closethedoor .Taki
ngThandoshand, Ileadher
tothebedr oom wher eshestr
ipsdownand
takesawar m shower.Il
ayclothesonthebed
andwal kout .

Isetupsnacksandpizzaforusandplump
downont hecouch.Fewmi nutesl
ater
,she
comesoutlookingcutei
nmycl ot
hesandsit
s
downbesideme.Ipullherclosetome.
Her:
Im sohappyIfoundyoual
oneorIwoul
dve
di
edofembarrassment.
Il
aughandki
ssherhead.
Me:I
m gladIt
ookt
hedayoff
.Whot
oldy
ouI
l
iv
ehere?Andwhywer
ey ouwet
?
Her
:Sazi
andt axi
sdontcomet
hissi
desoI
wal
kedhere.
Me:
Int
hisr
ain?
Her
:Idwal
kthr
oughf
ir
etobewi
thy
ou.
Ibl
ush.
Me:
Met
oo
Her
:Iknow.
Sheshif
tsandstraddl
esme.Shet akesmyface
i
ntoherwarm habdsandkissesme.I t
ssoslow
andfi
ll
edwithpassionaswet ast
eeachother
andl
etourli
psdanceandspeakf orthemsel
v es.
Shepull
sawayandl ooksmeinmyey es
Her
:Im sor
rybabyt
hatIt
ooksol
ong.
..
Me:I
tsokay
.Whatmatt
ersi
syoureher
enow,i
n
myarms,wher
eyoubel
ong.Il
oveyousomuch.
Her
:Il
ovey
oumor
e.
Shewrapsherar msaroundmeandki ssesmy
cheekt
henr estsherheadonmyshoul der
.It
s
sogoodtohav eherinmyar msagain.Adream
cometrue.Iwipeawayaf al
li
ngtearandwrap
myarmsar oundherpetitf
rame.
[
10/30,08:40]Wadz:
Goodmor ni
ng.
..sor
ryfor
notposti
nglastni
ght.Fel
lasl
eepwhilety
ping.

£46
~Thando~
Iwakeupinbedal onewit
hanur gentneedto
pee.Mynunubudf eel
swarm andabi tsqui
shyI
mightadd.
..ohno!Nonono!Iopent hesheets
andtherei
tis.Bl
ood.Fuck!Myperiodsstar
ted
whichmeanst hei
nject
ionisup.Whynow?Why
here?
Meli
sizwecomesi
nandIm ashamed.It
ry
pr
etendingt
obeasl
eepbutIknowhewontbuy
i
t.
Hi
m:Heysunshi
ne.
I
m sohumili
atedIcouldscr
eam.Whywoul dmy
bodybet
raymel i
kethi
s?Ipull
thebl
ankets
ti
ght
ertomeandj uststayi
nmyposit
ion.He
l
ooksatmewi thafrown.
Hi
m:What
swr
ong?
Icantholditany
moreIjustcr
y.Im soashamed
ofmy sel
f.Hecomescloseratt
empt i
ngtoget
i
ntobed.
Me:
No!Dontcomei
n!
Iy
ell
.
Hi
m:Why
?What
shappened?
Me:
Pleasego.Icantl
ookaty
ou.Pl
ease.
Hi
m:No!Justt
ell
me.
.di
dyoupeet
hebed?
Ishakemyheadno,
inf
actIthr
owhim wit
hthe
pil
l
ow.Hechuckl
esandbarel
yducks.Hesees
myexpressi
onandi
sconfused
Hi
m:Ladyt
hings?
Inodmyhead.Ohwhydoesntt
hegr
oundj
ust
swall
owmeupi nt
hismoment?
Hi
m:Oh.Isee.
Me:
Please.
..
Him:No.We'r
einthi
stoget
her
.Whatdoy
ou
need?Padsortampons?
Me:
Bot
h.
Hi
m:Si
ze
Me:Smal
ltampons,
anypadwi
thwi
ngs.Buti
t
mustbeAl
ways.
Henods.
Hi
m:Any
thi
ngel
se?
Me:
Under
wear
.
Hi
m:Okay
.
Hecomesaroundtomysideandki
ssesmeon
t
hefor
ehead.Thenleav
es.

Imfinall
youtofbedandI vewashedthesheets,
i
nfactallthebeddingandthecl
othesIwas
wearing.IstepoutoftheshowerandMeli
sizwe
comesi n.Wi t
hsomanypads, t
amponsand
underwear .
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Hesmil
esandhandsmet hest
uffthenleav
es.I
domybusinessthengoout.Hesseatedont he
bedandsmileswhenIwalkout.Hepatshis
l
egssuggesti
ngIgositonhisl
ap.Im
uncomfor
tablebutIdoanyway
.
Hi
m:Baby
..
Me:
Hmm?
I
ml ooki
ngdown.I
mtooembar
rassedt
olook
hi
mi ntheey
e.
Hi
m:Lookatme.
Ido.
Him:Baby ,Idontev erwanty outobe
embarrassedofany thingwheny our
ewithme.
Especi
allyyourbody .Thesethi
ngshappenand
i
tsmydut y
, asyourmant otakecareofyou.
Youaremi neandIam y our
swhi chmeanseven
ourbodiesbel ongtoeachot her.Theset
hings
happenwhenwel eastexpectthem.Donthide
f
rom mepl
easeokay
?
Ibl
ushsohar
dandnod.
Hi
m:Imeani
twhenIsayIl
ovey
ouokay
?
Me:
Iknow.
Him:Good.Andanothert
hing,ndi
mdal
a(I
m old)
sotheseki
ndofthi
ngsdontf azemeli
kethe
fuckboysyour
eusedto.
Il
aughsohard.Mxm If
orgothowmuchofan
i
diothecanbeatt
imes.
Hi
m:Ther
esmybaby
.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Hi
m:Anyt
ime.Ar
eyouokay
?
Me:
Wit
hyou,
Im al
way
sgood.
Hepul
l
smei
nandweshar
eashor
tki
ss.
Hi
m:Comegetdr
essed.
Me:Inwhat?Iki
ndofcameher
eonawhi m.No
cl
othes,
justmybankcar
d,I
dandphone.
Hechuckl
esandl
i
ftsmeup.
Hi
m: Wearsomet
hingofmi
ne.Il
i
key
oui
nmy
cl
othes.
Ibl
ushandl
ookaway
Me:
okay
.
Ibrowsehi sl
argeclosetandpickout
tr
ackpants,hoodie,
v estandsocks.Thenwear
hi
sslippers.WhenIcomeouthewhi st
les
Hi
m:Damnbaby
.
Il
aughsohar
d.SeewhyIl
ovehi
m somuch.
Me:
Your
eani
diot
.
Hi
m:Youri
diot
.
Me:
Ver
ytr
ue.Soy
oucookedsupper
?
Hewr
iggl
eshi
sey
ebr
ows.
Me:
Yho.Iwonder
.
Hi
m:What
?Iv
ecookedbef
ore.
Me:
Nonotf
orme.
Hi
m:Thebr
eakf
astImadey
ouaty
ourhome?
Me:
Thatdoesntcount
.
Hest
ickshist
ongueoutandpul
l
smeoutwi
th
hi
mtot hedi
nni
ngroom.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Supperwasf i
nebuthavingThandohere,i
nmy
clothes,wasthebest.Shemakesmeabet ter
me.I m notgoingtoli
eandsaywhathappened
thismor ni
ngdidntshockmebecauseI venever
experiencedsomethingli
kethat
.ButIm gl
adit
happened, soourbondcouldbestronger.
Me:
Sowhatdoy
ouwantt
odo?
Her:Uhm.
.anyt
hingr
eal
l
y.I
tsr
aini
ngandmy
cl
othesar
ealmostdr
ybutmyshoesnot
.
Me:wel
lIhav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou.Cl
osey
our
ey
es.
Shesmi
l
esandshakesherheadbutshecl
oses
herey es.Itakeoutt heshoppi ngbagsand
plastics.Iwentandboughthergoodi estomake
herf eel bett
erwheni tsthatti
meoft hemont h
andal sowar m pjs,thickgownandsl ippers.I
al
soboughtherj eansandchucks.I mt aki
ngher
shoppi ngtomor r
owsoIwanthert obe
comf ortabl
e.Igoar oundandgui dehertot he
ki
t chencount erandt hent el
lhertoopen.She
opensherey esandgasps.
Her
:Forme?
Me:
ofcour
se.
Her
:Awbabe.Thanky
ou.Thi
smeans.
..wow.
..
Shekissesmeandgrabst
het
eddyandhugsit
.
Whatsitwit
hwomenandstuf
fedani
mals?I
ll
neverunder
stand.
Me:
Wanawat
cht
v?
Her:Noy ounev
erpayat
tent
ionany
way .I
d
r
atherreadabookcauseIknowyou'
ll
wantto
work.
Ismi
l
e.Mywoman.
Me:
Okay
.
Her
:Uhm.
..Bhut
i.
Mmm..thatwor
dcomi
ngoutofhermout
h.I
t
doest
hingst
ome.
Her
:Doy
ouhav
eahotwat
erbot
tl
e?
Me:Ithi
nkso.Somewher
eint
hespar
eroom.I
ll
gocheckforyou.
Igotother oom oppositemi neandl ookforiti
n
thedrawers.Ifinditwrappedi napi nkf ur
ry
thi
ngwithSuzi wr i
tt
enoni t
.Igobackt othe
kit
chenandf il
litupwi t
hhotwat er.Igrabice
cream,buscuits,chipsandjuicet hengot othe
room.Shescur ledupwi thhert eddybear .
Me:
Her
ebabe.
Shelooksupandthanksme.Shetakest
he
bot
tl
eandplacesnearherabdomen.
Me:
Badcr
amps?
Her
:No.Notbad,
andI
m col
d.
Isnugglei
nclosert
oherandkissher.Webot
h
j
ustli
stentoeachother
sbreat
hingandhear
t
beat.

Themorni
ng, Iwakeupal
onei
nbed.Igot
ot he
bathr
oom andassoonasIopen,
Iseeanaked
Thandodr
y i
nghersel
f.
Her
:Mor
ning
Me:
Heyangel
face.
.showerwi
thoutme?
Her
:Yeahdi
dntwantt
obot
hery
ou.
Me:
Itwoul
dnthav
ebeenabot
her
.
Ipeewhi l
eshesher e, f
lushandgoov ertot he
si
nkt owashmyhands.WhenIt ur
n,Thandos
bentoverwi pingherlegs.Hernunubudi nfull
di
splay,Ihav eneverseensuchapr ettysight.I
wassemi hardbutnow, I
m har
dasar ock.I
walkbehindherandr ubmy sel
fonher .
Her
:Baby
,Im onmyper
iodnj
e.
Me:
So?
Her
:No
Me:Pl
easebaby
..j
ustt
hisonce.Ihav
enthada
t
ast
eofy ouf
orawholeyear
..
Iv
ealreadydroppedmepjpant
sandthet
ipof
mythrobbingboneri
sal
readyr
ubbi
ngonher
cast
le.
Her
:Whatam Igoingtodowi
thy
ou?Aaah.
..
t
hatfeel
s..
.yesbaby
..
.
Imrubbi
ngmyselfonherandIcantt
akei
t
anymoresoIt
rysli
dein.I
tssoti
ght,
whathas
shebeendoi
ng?

Afterourst
eamysessionandshoweringagain,
together
,we'
reintheki
tcheneat
ingcereal
.She
comesandst andsbetweenmylefsandkisses
myf ace.
Her
:Thanky
ouf
ory
est
erday
.
Me:
Nopr
obl
em.
..
Weshar
eaki
ss.
Her
:Ar
eyougoi
ngt
owor
ktoday
?
Me:
No.
Her
:Whynot
?
Me:Youreher
emos.Andbesi
desIwantt
otake
youshoppi
ng.
Shelooksatme,inf
actshef
rowns.Nott
he
react
ionIwasexpecti
ng
Me:
Whyy
ouf
rowni
ng?
Her:YouknowhowmuchIhat
eyouspendi
ng
yourmoneyonme
Shefol
dsherar
msandbur
uesherf
acei
nmy
chest
.
Me:
Letme,
justt
hisonce.Pl
ease.
Her
:Fi
ne.
Ismileandkissherf orehead.Myhandi sonher
fi
rm behi
ndandI mj ustrubbingit.Icouldstay
l
ikethisforet
ernit
y.Ther esjustsomet hi
ng
aboutThandot hatIfindmy selfunabletoresi
st.

We'r
eatt hemallhandi
nhand,goi
ngi
nandout
ofshops.Thandoisnotmuchofashopperor
shedoesntwanttospendalotofmoney.I
bumpintooneofmyol dexs
Her
:Mel
i
?
Me:
Car
yn,
hi.
Shegi
vesmeawar
m hug.
Her
:Howar
eyou?
Me:
Wel
lthanky
ouandy
our
sel
f?
Her
:Im good.Youl
ookgood.
Me:
Thanks,
sodoy
ou.
Thandoissomewherei
ntheshoplooki
ngatI
dontknowwhat.I
m neart
heti
llgoi
ngthr
ough
myemai
l
s
Her
:St
il
lsi
ngl
e?
Il
augh
Me:
No.
Her
:Oht
oobad.Shesal
uckywoman.
Me:
NoI
mtheonewhosbl
essed.
Icanf
eel
herbef
oreshest
andsnextt
ome.
Thando:
Hel
l
o.
Sheext
endsherhandtoCar
ynwhotakesi
tbut
wit
haquesti
oni
nglookonherf
ace.
Car
yn:
Hi.
Me:Caryn,
thi
sist
hel
oveofmyl
i
fe,
Thando.
Thando,
Caryn.
Thandosmi
l
esandCar
ynki
ndofsmi
l
esback.
Me:
Didntf
indany
thi
ngy
oul
i
ke?
Thando:
Nobabe.Readyt
ogo?
Me:
yeah.
Shehol
dsmyhandandwi
tht
heot
herIhol
dthe
l
it
tl
ebagswehave.
Thando:
Itwasni
cet
omeety
ou.
Car
yn:
Likewi
se.Seey
ouar
ound?
Me:
Idoubt
.
Andwewal koff.Youguysshoul
dv eseenthe
wayIwasst ar
ingatThandosbehindasshe
walkedahead.Itdr
ivesmecrazy,
especial
l
y
knowingthati
tsmineandmi neal
one.
Thando:
Shedoesntl
i
keme.
Me:
Shedoesnthav
eto.Shesofnoi
mpor
tance
t
omeortoyou.
Nowcomegi
vedaddysomesweetl
ovi
ng.
Ipul
lheri
nforaki
ssandshegi
ggl
es
Her
:Nowe'
rei
npubl
i
c.
Me:
So?
Isnakemyhandar
oundherwaistandpul
lher
i
ncloser
.Looki
ngi
nhereyes,
Ifindmysel
fin
t
hem.

~Thando~
Beingher ewit
hMel i
sizwei st
hebestfeeli
ng
ever.Im bei
ngspoil
trottenandIm notreal
ly
comf ort
ablewithi
t.Hesshower ingmewi t
hhis
aff
ect i
onwhichIlovebutt hegif
ts?Notso
much.
We'rebackinhi scondoandI m cookingsupper
forus.Hesv erydistr
act
ing.Ki
ssingme
constant
ly,
smacki ngmybum, rubbingmy
boobs,ki
ssingmyneck, gri
ndi
ngonme.I t
salla
bit
,romanti
ci nmybooks.Hemakesmegi ggl
e
andblush.
Me:
Babe.
Hesstandingneart
hefri
dge,
looki
ngal
lsor
tsof
chocol
ateygoodness.
Hi
m:Hmm?
Me:
Im goi
ngbackt
omor
row
Hi
m:Why
?
Me:Ineedt
ogo.Myparentsdontev
enknowI
m
her
e.Theymustbewor
riedsi
ck.
Hi
m:Justcal
lthem andt
ell
them y
our
eher
e.
Me:
NoIhav
etogo.
Hel
ooksatmewi
thpuppyey
es.
Me:Andbesides,
you'
ll
beatworkthewhol
e
dayandI
llbehereal
one,doi
ngnot
hing.
Hepull
smeincl
oseandr
est
shi
sheadonmy
shoul
der.
Hi
m:ButIdontwanty
out
oleav
e.
Me:
IknowbutI
llbebacksoon.
Hi
m:Pr
omi
se?
Inod.
Hehuff
s,ki
ssesmeont
heforeheadandwal
ks
of
f.Hesbei
ngsuchagr
ouchybaby.Real
l
y!
Thewhol
eti
medur
ingsupperhewasbei
ngso
cl
ingyandmoppy.Hessocute.Wewashed
di
shestoget
herandhemoppedafter
.Hey!I
m
j
ustasshockedasyouare.
Hisheadisonmychestandhisar
m holdi
ngme
i
nplace.Im pl
ayi
nggamesonhisphoneand
hessleepi
ngsosoundl
y.Amessagecomes
thr
oughandIopenitbymist
ake.
"
Callmewhenyouwantareal
woman.Nott
hat
l
i
ttl
egir
lbesi
deyou.Car
yn"
Bi
tch!
[
10/
30,
08:
40]Wadz
:Iknow.Iknow.I
m sor
ry.
..

£47
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Im wokenupbyadel ici
oussmell
.Iturnandfind
Thandoi snotbesi
deme.Igouset hebathroom
thencomebackt omyr oom andcheckmy
emails.AssoonasIunlock,amessagepops
up..
.from Cary
n.Issheseri
ous?Nof uckof
f
man.Howdareshecall
myThandoal
i
ttl
egi
rl
.
Fuckenmakemesick.
Inthekit
chen,
Thandoi
ssway
ingherhi
ps
cookingandhummingt
oanunhear
dtune.She
tur
nsandsmi l
es
Her
:Hi
.
Me:
Hey
.
TheCary
nstextcomest omindandIf
ind
mysel
dgett
ingmor eangry
.Wheredi
dsheev
en
getmynumbersfrom?
Her
: Babywhat
swr
ong?Comel
etmeki
ssi
t
bet
ter.
Ibl
ushandwal
kovert
oher.Shehugsmeand
ki
ssesme.Whenshepul
l
saway ,
shesmi
lesso
sweet
ly.
Her:
Bhut
i,pl
easet
alkt
ome.What
swr
ong?Di
d
Idosomet
hing?
Me:
Nobabe.I
tsnot
hingy
oudi
d.
Thandoi smoreofawomant hanCarynwi
l
l
everbe.Thandohasaheartandisgoodwhil
e
shesal eechwhosucksanymanwi t
hmoney
dry!Fuckenhel
l.
Thandoshakesherheadandwal
ksof
f.
Me:
Baby
?
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe.
Woah!Thatchangedf
ast
.
Me:
What
swr
ong?
Her:Awuf
unt hethanam mos(y
oudontwantt
o
tal
ktome).Ivebeenaskingyouwhat
swrong
andyoubrushingmeof f
.
Me:
Fine.I
tsCar
yn.
Her
:BabyIm sor
ry.Idi
dntmeantoopeny
our
messagesi
twonthappenagain
Me:
What
?Soy
ousawt
het
ext
?
Shenods
Me:
Arey
oumad?
Her
:Shoul
dI?
Me:
No.
Her:
Thenno.Shecansayallthenast
yt hi
ngs
shewantsaboutmebutunti
lshehasy ouinher
armsthenIdontgi
veafuck.
Me:Good.Andshe'
l
lnev
erhav
emei
nherar
ms.
Angany
a!
Shel
aughsoutl
oud.
Me:
Im sor
rybaby
.
Igostandbehi
ndherandwr
apmyar
msar
ound
herwaist
.
Her
:Myhoneysugarsweet
ness?
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Real
l
y?
Shenods
Her
:Pl
easedontshutmeoutokay
?
Me:
Okay
.
Her:
Andwheny ouhaveapr oblem cal
lme
al
ways.Andsad,orangr
y,callmeokay ?
Me:
Okay
.
Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Idontknowabouty
ou,
butIgetgi
ddyev
ery
time
shesaysit
.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.

Heybreakf
astwasscrumpt
ious.Icantt
ell
you
whatwasont her
ecausei
twassomeshi tIve
nev
erheardof.Buti
twasappeti
zingyho.
Thandosl eavi
ngt odaybutpromi sedtobeback
Fri
day.Itsonlytwoday sfr
om nowbutst i
ll
.I
wantherher ebesidemeal way s.Ot r
iedto
i
niti
atesomei ntimacyandshef l
attenedmel ike
pi
zzadough.Yhu!Shewoul dnthearofi t
.Iev en
askedf orthebehindkeatleast,youknowanal .
Yho!Ibingathindi
yamthuka(itwasl i
keIdswor n
ather).Thewayshef r
eakedout .Nev eragain...
orunt
ilnextt
ime.
We'
reatt
heai
rpor
tter
minal
,Idontwanthert
o
go.
Me:
Il
lmi
ssy
oubaby
Her
:Notmor
ethanme.
Me:
Promi
set
ocomeback?
Her
:Wi
thev
erybeatofmyhear
t.
Weshar eamomentandt henshehast ogo.I
waveheroffthengobacktowor k.Ineeda
di
stract
ionbefor
eIexpl
ode.Im sohappyshes
comebackt ome.Andthisti
meI llmakesur
e
i
tsforgood.

~Thando~
I
m backatmyapar tmentandIcantf i
ndmy
bankcard.I
velookedeverywhere,l
ucki
lyIhave
afewcoinstobuyairti
mebutf orpetr
olnothi
ng.
I
mr eal
lystr
essingbecauseThandi di
dsendme
money,herandDav
idbutnowbankcar
di s
missi
ng.Onmywayt otheshop,
Ibumpinto
Kevi
n.Arg!
Hi
m:Hey
,geti
n.
Me:
NoI
m good.
Hi
m:ComeonThando,
Iwontdoany
thi
ng.
Me:
Nor
eal
l
y,I
mtaki
ngawal
ksoI
m good.
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ou.
Me:
Okay
.
All
thi
swhi
l
eIm wal
ki
ngandhescr
uisi
ngnex
t
tome.
Hi
m:Ist
il
ll
ovey
ou.
Me:
Goodf
ory
ou.
Ir
eachtheturnf
ortheshopandgoi n.Ibuymy
ai
rt
ime,l
oaditandwalkbackt omyapar tment
i
nsil
ence.OnceImin,Inervouslycal
lMelisi
zwe,
i
tri
ngsforabitt
henhisv oi
cecomest hr
ough.I
swearhi
svoicewil
lbethedeat hofme, i
ts
hoar
sebutdeep.Yhui
tssexy
.
Hi
m:Baby
?
Imoan.Icanthel
pit
.Ij
ustthi
nkoftheti
mes
whenwemakesweetdel i
ci
ousloveandhe
cal
l
soutmynamewhenhecomesort el
lsme
helov
esme.
Hi
m:Thando?
Me:Ohsorr
y,hey
.Iv
ear
ri
vedsaf
ely
.Uhm,
qui
ck
f
avourpl
ease.
Hi
m:Any
thi
ng
Me:
Arey
ouatt
hehouse?
Hi
m:Nomyl
ove.
Me:
Oh.Wheny
ouar
epl
easel
ookf
ormycar
d.
Hi
m:Oh.Okay
.Needcashnow?
Me:
Uhm y
eah.
Hi
m:I
lle-
wal
l
ety
oui
nabi
t.
Me:
uhm.
..i
l
lpayy
oubackIpr
omi
se.
Helaughsandhangsup.Asi fhecalledtsh!My
phonebeepsandanamountofR800hasbeen
senttome.Somuch?Mel isi
zwet hough.Idri
ve
totownandwi t
hdrawthemoneyt henf i
l
l upmy
fuel
.Igetsomegoodiesanddrivehome.
Thandiisnotgoi
ngtobehappy

Mama:
Uvel
aphi
(wher
ear
eyouf
rom)
Thatst
hefir
stthi
ngThandisayswhenIcome
thr
oughthedoor.I
minshit
.Ifeel
li
kepeeing
myself
.
Me:
CapeTown.
Dav
id:
Andi
tdi
dntdawni
nyout
ocont
actus?
Me:
Itdi
d.
Hi
m:Whydi
dnty
ou?
Me:
uhmmm.
..i
tsl
i
ppedmymi
nd.
Ma:
Thando.
..
Me:
Im sor
ryokay
?Idi
dntpl
ani
ngoi
ngt
her
e.I
t
wasamomentofweaknessbuti
twonthappen
agai
n.
Davi
d: Hel
lnoi
twont
.Becauseyour
egrouded.
Andthatmeans,y
oumaynotleavethi
shouse
unt
ilIappr
ove.
Me:
What
?No.Mamapl
ease.Dad.
Hi
m:Ihav
espokenandt
hat
sfi
nal
.
Iscr
eam outoff rust
rat
ion.Goshhowi rri
tat
ing.
Cary
nwasr ight,Iam alit
tl
egir
l.Istorm
upst
airsandlockmy selfinmyroom.Mel isi
zwe
i
snotgoingt obehappyaboutt his.Ideci
det o
cal
lhim.Hepi cksupont hesecondr i
ng.
Hi
m:Twi
cei
noneday
?Im ar
eal
l
yluckyguy
.
Il
augh
Me:Thanky
ouf
ort
hecash,
Il
lpayy
oubackI
pr
omise.
Hi
m:Nodont
.
Me:
Iwantt
o.
Hi
m:AndIdont
.
Me:
But
..
.
Hecut
smeof
f
Him:Canyoust
opbei
ngsost
ubbor
n?I
m
sayi
ngnoandthat
sfi
nal
.
Isi
gh.Reser
ved.
Me:Okay
.Wel
lIcal
l
edtotel
lyousomenews.I
hav
egoodandbadnews.
Hi
m:Goodnewsf
ir
st.
Me:Imfi
nishi
ngtomorr
owwhi
chmeansby
Fr
idayI
llbegoodtogo.
Hi
m: ThatisgoodnewsindeedandI
m al
ready
pi
ctur
ingthethi
ngsIwanttodotoyou.
Igi
ggl
eshy
ly.
Him:Icanal
readyt
ast
eyou,
smell
youandf
eel
youallov
erme.Mmm babydamn.
.
I
m bit
ingmybot t
om l
ipandclosi
ngmythighs
t
ight
ly.Icanal
readyi
maginehiminsi
deofme,
mov
ing.
..mmmm!Hesdr
ivi
ngmecr
azy
.
Hi
m:andIknowy
oucanf
eel
met
oo.
Igi
ggl
eandbl
ush.Howdoesheknow?
Me:
Icantwai
t.
Hi
m:Badnews?
Me:
What
?
Hi
m:Thebadnews?
Me:
Oh.Uhm.
.im gr
ounded.
Hi
m:What
?What
sthat
?
Irol
lmyeyes.If
orgett
hathesf
rom adi
ff
erent
ti
met hanme.
Me:Grounded.I
tmeansI m bei
ngpuni
shed
fr
om nottel
li
ngthem IwasinCapeTownthese
pastt
woday sso..
.
Hi
m:okay
.Andt
hatmeans?
Isi
gh
Me:
Icantl
eav
ethehouseandmyphonewi
l
l
probablybeconfi
scat
edsoon.SoIdontknow
howl ongitwi
llgoonforbut
..
.
Myphonecut
s.Myai
rt
imesf
ini
shed.No!But
mybabycal
ls
Me:
Sor
rymyai
rt
imesf
ini
shed
Hi
m:Nowor
ri
es.Soubusi
thi
ni(
youwer
esay
ing)
?
Me: Sodadwil
ltel
lmewhenI m nolonger
groundedandI
llhavetoaskper
mi ssi
onto
comeov er
.Li
keIm...
Mydoorbur
stsopenanddadcomesi
n.
Hi
m:Phone.Now!
Me:
2mor
emi
nut
es.
Hi
m:No.NowThando!
Me:
Ilov
eyoubaby
.Gott
ogo.
Ihangupandpr
act
ical
l
ysl
am myphonei
nhi
s
hand.
Me:
Sounf
air
!
Hi
m:Shoul
dvethoughtoft
hatbef
orey
ouwent
mi
ssi
ngmissy.
Andstormsout.Arg!Mypar
entsareso
annoyingIcant
.AndworseIj
ustgotbackwi
th
Meli
sizwe.Mxm

Atthedinnertabl
e,it
sj ustkni
v esandf orks
doingthetalki
ng.Im notreall
yhungr yand
definat
elynotinthemoodt otalk.I
mf iddli
ng
aroundwi t
hmyf oodonmypl ate,t
hinkingout
mybaby .
Dad:
Eat
!
Ialmostjumpf r
om myseat .Hessoangr y
.Ive
neverseenDav i
dli
kethis.Hisfaceisal
most
redandhi seyesbl
oodshotr ed.ButI
m angry
too.Ij
ustgivehim anuglystareandputmyf or
k
down.Iattempttostand
Dad:
Didy
ouaskt
obeexcused.
Me:
MayIbeexcused?
Hi
m:Nof
ini
shy
ourf
ood
Me:
Im nothungr
y.
Mom:
Babywe'
redoi
ngt
hisf
ory
ourowngood.
Me:
okay
.CanIgot
otownt
omor
row?
Dad:
Why
?
Me:Needt
ogomakeanewbankcar
d.Lost
mi
ne.
Dad:
You.
..no!
Me:
What
?Why
?
Him:Nott
hatIhav
etoanswertoy
oubutyou
notgoi
nganywher
esoIdontseet
heneed.
Yho!Thi
smanmar
a.Mxm.
Me:
Fine.
.
Af
tersupperIdot
hedi
shest
hengotomyr oom.
Assoonasmyheadhit
sthepil
l
ow,Iknockout
.
Thef
oll
owi
ngday
sthemoodaroundthehouse
i
ssomber,
wel
lminei
s.Dav
idandThandiar
e
j
ustfi
ne,al
lloveydoveyandnotgi
vi
ngadamn
aboutme.Ipracti
cal
l
yignoret
hem,Idi
d
apol
ogisesowhatelsedotheywantfr
om me?
Todayi
sSatur
dayandI
minmyr
oom,
lay
ing
whenDavi
dcomesin.
Hi
m:Thando?
Ijustl
ookathi
m wi
thabor
edexpr
essi
ononmy
face.
Me:
Ta?
Him: Iknowyouremadbutt hisi
sf oryou.You
scaredusbabyandhadInothear df r
om QueI
wouldv egonetothepoli
ce.Dontev erdisappear
l
ikethatagainokay?Wel oveyousomuch
angel andIwoulddieami l
l
iondeathsi f
somet hingwer
et oeverhappentoy ouokay ?
Inod.
Hi
m:Her
e..
Il
ookupandhehandsmemyphoneandbank
car
d.
Hi
m:Got
ohi
m.I
m sur
ehemi
ssesy
ou.
Ismil
eandgiv
ehim ahugehug.Al
most
knocki
nghi
m over
.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Todayi sSundayandst i
l
lnowor dfrom Thando.
Iv
et riedcall
ingherseveralti
mesandi twentto
voicemai lal
lthetime.Imisshersomuch, but
l
ucki lyBabyAzi haskeptmecompanyt hi
s
weekend.Todayhermom i staki
ngherforthe
holidaysinJobur gwhichmeansI l
lseeher
agai n3weeksf rom now.Idocallconstantl
y,
buti t
snott hesameashav i
ngherinmyar ms.
Mydoorbel
lri
ngsandi
tsYonel
aher
etof
etch
Azi
.
Me:
Byebaby
.Daddyl
ovesy
ou.
Her
:Wuvy
ou(
lov
eyou)
Me:
Enj
oy.
Igi
veherakissandhugYonela.WhenIpul
l
away,
Yonelatri
est
okissmebutIbackup.
Whatthef
uckisupwiththat
?
Me:
No.
Her
:ComeonMel
i
sizwei
ts.
..
Me:Yonela,
stop.Il
oveThandoandIj
ustgot
herbackandIl
lbedamneifIlety
outr
yandpull
usapart
.
Her
:Mxm.Iknowy
ou'
l
lcomeback.Youal
way
s
do.
?
:Heybaby
.
Webotht ur
nandfindThandost andingther
e
wit
hahugegr ini
nherf ace.Ir
ushov ert
oher
andgiveheronehellofasmooch.Shesso
sneaky
.Iwonderifshehear dYonela?
[
10/
30,
08:
41]Wadz
:£48
~Thando~
Hee!Andi
l
ingwa?Hay
indi
yal
i
ngwasanaasoze
uve!(
Am Inotbei
ngt
est
ed?)Becausewhatt
he
actuakf
uck!WhatwasYonel
athinki
ng?
Mel
i
:Babysl
eep.
Me:
Iam.
Hechuckl
essodeepl
y.Damn.
Hi
m:Ri
ght
!What
swr
ong?
Me:Whatdi
dYonel
ameanwhenshesai
dyou
al
waysgoback?
Hehuf
fsandkeepsqui
et.
Me:
Baby
..
Hi
m:Canwet
alkabouti
ttomor
row?
Me:
NoIwantt
oknownow.
Hemov esontopofmeandki ssesme.Its
heav
enlybutno.Iwantanswers.Heseparat
es
mylegswithhi
sandslideshi
sf i
ngeri
nsideme.
Mmm
Me:
Ah.
.baby
..
.no.
..t
alk.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
l.
.
Me:
Now.
..Mel
i
..
.
Hi
m:mmm?
Whyishedoi
ngthi
stome?Hei
shi
ding
somethi
ngf
rom me.
Hemov eshi
smout hmovesf
rom minet
omy
neckt
omybr east
s,tomycoochi
e.
Hi
m:Baby
?..
I
minheav
en
Me:
Mm.
..I
m cl
ose.
.
Hi
m:If
uckedYonel
a..
Igaspasar i
fal
li
ngor gasm ripsthr
oughmy
fragil
earea.Iwantt ocl osemyl egsbecauseI
m
fuckenmadbutIcant ,becauseMel i
sizwehas
alreadyposit
ionedhi msel fontopofme.He
slidesinohsocar efullyandi fi
ndmy self
aut omati
call
ywr appingmyl egsaroundhis
wai st
.
Hi
m:I
tdi
dntmeanany
thi
ng.
..
Hesmov i
ngsosl
owl
y,sodeepl
y,so
passi
onat
ely
Hi
m:Dontl
eav
eme.
..
I
m moani
ng,
scr
atchi
ngandmov
inhi
nsy
nc
wi
thhi
m.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
..onl
yyou.
..
Howi sheabl
etospeakduri
ngt hi
ssensat
ive
ti
me?Andwhyi smybodybet r
ay i
ngmeby
respondi
ngtohist
ouch?Mylegsar et
rembli
ng,
andmyey essoaki
ng.I
m cr
ying.
Hi
m:I
m sor
ry.
..
Iarchmybackasmypl easuresoaksbot hme
andMel isi
zwe.Aft
erIv
ecalmeddown, Ipush
him offmeandgot othebathroom.Ineedt o
coolof fbefor
eIdosonet hi
ngIllr
egret.Aft
erIm
done, Ilookatmyselfi
nthemi rr
or.Myey es
puffy.Igobackt otheroom.Mel i
sizweissitt
ing
withhisheadonhi shands.Heswear i
ngbriefs.
Me:
Why
dyoudoi
t?
Hel
ooksup.
Hi
m:Idontknow.
Me:
Youdontknow?
Hi
m:Idontknow.
Me:
Mmm.
..
Iwal
kpasthi
m andwearhi
sgown.
Me:
Guest
room.
Hi
m:What
?
Me:Gosleepint
heguest
room unti
lyouknow
whyyousleptwi
thher
.GobeforeIl
osemycool.

Iwakeupr ejuv
anisedandr eadytoface
Meli
sizwe.Im notmad, I
m disappoint
ed.He
coul
df uckanyoneany where,j
ustnotYonelaor
Cary
nf orthatmatter
.Yeahwewer enttoget
her
whenhedi d,butsti
ll
.Ibrushmyt eethandtake
aquickshowerandwearnot hingbuthisshi
rt
andgototheki
tchen.Igett
her
eandhes
wear
ingonlyhi
sbrief
smakingbreakf
ast
.
Me:
Mor
ning?
Het
urnst
ofaceme,
Hi
m:Hi
.
Me:
sleepwel
l
Hi
m:No.You?
Me:
Likeababy
.Whatar
eyoumaki
ng?
Hest
opswhathesdoi
ng.Andwal
kstowards
meandst
opsinfr
ontofme,andl
ooksdownat
me
Hi
m:Babypl
easedontl
eav
e.Iwontbar
eitt
his
t
ime.
Me:
Dependsony
ouranswer
.
Hi
m:Thandopl
ease.
..
Me:Behonestwit
hmeandl
etmedeci
de.Why
di
dyousleepwit
hher
?
Hesi
ghs.Fr
ust
rat
ed.
Him:Idontknow.BecauseIwashor ny,
becauseshewaswi l
l
ing,becauseIwasmi ssi
ng
youandneededabodyt otakemyf rustr
ations
outon,becauseIwassexuall
yfrust
rated,Idont
know..
Me:mmm...butwhyher?Ofal
lthewomanon
t
hisf
inegr
eenearth!Whyher
?
I
m cal
m buti
nsi
de,
Imf
umi
ng.Icoul
dsl
aphi
m.
Hi
m:Babypl
easedontdot
his.
Me:Im notdoingany
thing.Justaski
ngaf
ew
quest
ionsthatneedanswers.
Hi
m:Ufunandi
thi
niThando(whatdoy
ouwant
metosay?
Me:
Saywhat
siny
ourhear
t.
Hesighsandrunshishandsov erhisf
ace.He
hol
dsmywai standlooksmei nmyey es,If
old
myarms.Andisenashori
!
(Im socheekyyhu).
Ngaseundibone(
Iwishyoucoul dseeme).
Hi
m:Yousocut
eyouknowt
hat
?
Mxm haike.Ir
emovehishandsf
rom meandgo
tothekit
chenisl
eandsit
.Hehuff
s.I
m dr
ivi
ng
himinsane.

Breakfastissi
lentwit
hmeocasi onal
lyplaying
withmyhai rormyt hi
ghs.Iknowitsworking
hi
m causeheshar dasarock.Im notgoingt o
l
eav ehim evenifheweretosayhef uckedt he
wholeofCapeTown, becauseIhavenor ightto
be.
Hi
m:Pl
easest
op
Me:
Stopwhat
?
Hel
ooksatmeandhi
seyesar
ebloodshotand
t
hevei
nsonhi
sfor
eheadar
epoppingout.
Hi
m:Seduci
ngme.
Me:
Im not
.
Hef
uri
ousl
yst
andsupf
rom t
het
abl
ethr
owi
ng
t
hegl
assagai
nstt
hewal
landhuf
fi
ngatme.
Hi
m:WHATDOYOUWANTFROM ME?
Hesshout
ingandpaci
ng.
Me:
(cal
mly
)thet
rut
h.
Hi
m:ITOLDYOU.IDONTKNOW!
Me:
Thenwhyy
ouget
ti
ngangr
y?Dontshoutat
me.
Hi
m: Babyplease.
..I
llansweral
lyourquest
ions
i
fyoupromisemeonet hing.
Me:Idontt
hinky
ouratt
hel
i
ber
tyofcal
l
ingt
he
shot
s.
Hi
m:Fi
ne.ThenIwontanswer
.
Me:
Sobei
t.
Iat
temptt
ost
andbuthebl
ocksmyway
.
Hi
m:Okay
,okay
,fi
ne.
Me:
Okay
.Whatdi
dyouwantmet
opr
omi
se?
Hi
m:Thaty
ouwontl
eav
e.Nomat
terhowhar
d
i
tget
s.
Me:
Fine.
Hi
m:Pr
omi
se?
Me:
Ipr
omi
se.
HisabouttotalkwhenIpul
lhi
spant
sdownand
wrapmyl egsaroundhi
m.Ili
ftmyhi
pali
tt
le
andheslidesin.
Hi
m:aaah.
..baby
..
.
Me:
Babe.
..aaah.
..
Webot henjoyingeachother.Truthi
s,Idont
careanymor e.WhyshouldIwor ryaboutthe
thi
ngshedi dwhenhewassi ngle.Hewasdoi ng
them athisownwi l
lbutthatsthepastandthis
i
snow.Whatmat t
ersiswhathappensnowt hat
hesgotme.Andanot herthi
ng,Idontwantto
comet hroughassomej ealoushoodr att
hat
doesntknowherpl ace.Whathedi dbeforewe
metisnoneofmyshi tanyway .
Aftert
hebreakf astsex,wet akeashowerand
hegoest owor kwhi l
eIst ayandcleanup, t
hen
cooklunchforus.I m nowont henetlookingat
potent
ialj
obsf ornexty ear.Myemai lpingsand
Iopen.Ohmygoodness.Icanthel pbutscr eam
andjumpar ound.Noway .Noway .Meli comes
i
nandIr unov ertohim andj umponhi m.He
holdsmeandconf usioniswr it
tenall
ov erhi s
face
Hi
m:Whatme?
Me:
Igotaj
ob.
Hi
m:Oh.
Icli
mbof fandheput
sthepl
ast
icsdown.Not
thereact
ionIwashopi
ngfor
.Whatseat
inghi
m
now?

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Asyouv
eseen,Im notexci
tedwithThando
get
ti
ngajob.Iwashopingthatshe'
dbemy
housewife,l
i
kemymom.Butke, Iguessthe
moder nwomanwant stowor k.Andtheres
nothingwrong,butIcanpr ovi
demor ethan
enoughforher.She'l
lgotowor kandmeeta
youngerguy,who'l
lgiveherwhatIcant ,
becausenoonehasi tal
l,notevenmeandshe'l
l
l
eav eme.Thenwhatwi l
lbecomeofme?
Her
:Babe?
Imint
hebedr
oom changi
ng,
andThando
comesandwrapsherar
msaroundme.
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:What
swr
ong?
Ihuf
fhard.Idontwantt
ocomeacr
ossi
nsecur
e
andall
.
Me:
Babe,
inal
lhonest
y,Idontwanty
out
owor
k.
Her
:Why
?
Iwasexpect
inghertor
antandr
avebutnoshe
hol
dshercomposure.
Me:
BecauseIcangety
ouy
ourhear
tsdesi
re.
Her:Soyouwantmetosi
ther
eanddiddl
emy
thumbswhil
eyouslav
eawaymeet
ingnew
cli
entsont
hedail
y?
Me:Youwontdwi
ddl
eyourt
humbs.You'
l
lhav
e
ahobby.
Her
:Bythaty
oumean,
spendy
ourhar
dear
ned
money
?
Me:
Wel
l
...notexact
ly.
Her:No.Thi
sisnotaboutt
hat
.Whati
sther
eal
concer
n
Me:Whatifyouf
indayoungerguywhossexi
er
t
hanmet hatwoosyouoffyourf
eet
?
Shel
aughssohar
d.
Her
:Soy
oudontt
rustme?
Me:
What
?No.
Shest
urni
ngt
het
abl
esnow.
Her
:Youdontwantmet
owor
kbecausey
ou
thi
nkIm af
teral
lthedi
cksoft
hiswor
ld?How
chi
ldi
sh.Real
ly.
Shepushesoffmeandst
ormsof
f.Damny
ou
i
nsecur
it
ies.

Ir
efusetoeatl
unchi
nsi
l
ence,
notl
i
ke
br
eakfast
.
Me:Baby
,Idi
dntmeani
tli
ket
hat
.Imj
eal
ous
okay
?
Shel
ooksatmef
rowni
ng.
Her
:Ofwhat
?
Me:
Ofy
ou.
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Why
?
Me:Becauseyouresobeaut
if
ulandal
lthese
boy
swi l
lwantyou.
Shegi
ggl
essohar
d,i
nfactshel
aughs.
Her
:Ist
hati
t?
Inod.I
m bei
ngsoser
iousandshescr
acki
ngup.
Me:
Whyy
oul
aughi
ng?
Her:Baby,
Im al
lyours.Bodyandsoul
sodont
eventhi
nkaboutbeingjealous.
Me:
Promi
se?
Shel
aughsandsmoochesme.
Her:Promi
se.Andbesides,
youdontseeanyof
myexscomi ngaf
teryou.Damn,baby,
you'
rea
ki
ll
erinbed.
Il
aughsohar
d.YouseewhatImean?
Me:
Idontknow,
am I
?
Sheshr
ugs
Her:
Youokaywet
hu,
yourst
rokecoul
dsowi
th
somework.
Ha!
Me:
Thesamest
roket
hat
sgi
veny
oumul
ti
ple
or
gasms?Thatone?
Shebi
tesherbottom l
i
pandnods.Ilaughso
har
d.Befor
eIcanpounce,sheshif
tsand
movesoffthecouchinaf
lash.Shesgiggl
i
ngso
sweet
ly.
Me:
Ohugezaubal
eke?
(your
unni
ngnow?
)
Her
:No.
Isetmypl
atedownandst
and.
Me:So?Howhar
ddoy
ouwanty
our
puni
shmentt
obe?
Her
:ButIdontdeser
vet
obepuni
shed.Whatf
or?
Shessmi
l
ingsobeaut
if
ull
yit
saddi
cti
ve.
Me:
Fort
ell
i
ngl
i
es.
Her
:Whatl
i
es?I
sitl
i
es?
Me:
He?
!Whaty
out
ryi
ngt
osay
?
Shegi
ggl
es
Her
:Isnti
tobv
ious?
Itr
yt ograbherbutsherunsandIchaseaf t
er
her.Shescreamingandlaughi
ngthewhol eway
andIcanthelpbutlaughtoo.Thi
slov ewi
llhav
e
mecr azy.I
veneverbeensohappyt hewayIam
nowandIl oveit
,especi
all
ythefactthati
tswit
h
mysoul mate.
[
10/
30,
08:
41]Wadz
:£49
*
3mont
hsl
ater
*
~Thando~
It
snowMar chandwor kist
hegr eatest.Iwork
atFNBof fi
cesasani nternandIhav entmetmy
bossyet.Hesov erseasapparentlyandwi l
lbe
backnextweek.I m notreal
lylookingforwardto
i
tbecauseI l
lbehav i
ngashoul derlookingover
meconst antl
y.Myf uck.Worki ssoawesome
these3mont hsandI m workingmybut toff
.Iv
e
l
earntsomuchal r
eady .
Meli
sizwe?Wow!I v
eneverknownl
ovel i
kethi
s
bef
ore.Thewayhecar esf
ormeandt akescare
ofme, i
sjustunbel
i
evabl
e.No,wedontli
ve
together .Ir
enti ntownandhest aysint he
subur bs.No, hedoesnotpaymyr ent,Ido.And
trustmewef oughtbutt henmov edonqui ckly.
NoI m notpr egnanty et,
Im sti
llonthei njecti
on
sodontgety ourhopesup.Imi sshi m somuchI
hav entseenhi m sinceFr i
dayandtoday s
Wednesday .Icriedsomuchl astnightwhenhe
called.Hesawayonbusi nessandwant edme
togowi thbutIcantandt hatangersmeso
muchatt i
mes.Hessett ocomebackFr iday
dependi ngonhowt hi
ngsgobutImi sshi m so
much.Wedonthav et ohavesexorev ent al
k,
j
usthi spr esenceal onei senoughf orme.I t
s
crazy ,butthat showIf eel.

It
salmosthomet imeandI m dreadingtogo
home.Illj
ustgetther
eanddowhat ?Eat
?Sleep?
That
si t
.It
sthesamer outi
ne,ov erandoverit
si
ckensme.ButIl ovemyjobj usthategoingto
anempt yhome.May beIshouldt ake
Meli
sizwesofferandmov einwi thhim,butt
hen
again,Idontwantt
oco-habitwithhim.Callme
i
nsane, butI
m scar
edwe'l
l getsickofeach
otherandlosethei
nter
est.Andbesi des,ev
en
whenwewer emarri
ed,wedi dntevenli
ve
together.
Iwrapupatwor kanddr ivet omyapar tment,
stoppingtogetsomej uiceandy oghur tont he
way .Iparkmycari ntheunder groundgar age
andmakemywayupwi ththeel ev ator .Assoon
asitpingsonmyf l
oor ,Isighheav ilyandwal k
tomydoor .Withoutt hi
nki ng, Iunlockt henst ep
i
n.WhenIgoi n,thefloori sscat teredwi th
fl
owerpet alsandmymi ndi mmedi at elyrushes
tothet i
meMel i
sizwepr oposedt oYonel a.I
canthelpbutf eel i
nsanel yangr y
.Isobadl y
wantt ostorm outandgoel sewher e.Whatt he
fuck?Iwal kinandf indMel isizweseat edont he
couchwi ththesl i
dingdooropen, l
et tingacool
summerbr eezein.Hesmi lesandIj ustgl areat
him.Whyam Iangr ythough?Idontgeti t.I
shakemyheadandsmi le.
Me:
Hibaby
.
Hi
m:Andt
hatl
ook?
Ishakemyhead,
Me:
Justt
ir
ed.Thi
sisani
cesur
pri
se.
Hi
m:Youdontseem happyt
hatI
m her
e.
Me:
Iam baby
.
Hegetsupandcomestokissme.Hi
sli
psare
sodel
ici
ousandjui
cyt
hatIfi
ndmysel
fopeni
ng
tohi
ml i
kealot
usfl
owerbl
ooming.

We'rehav
ingdi
nneranditsawful
lyquietandI
dontli
kei
t.Whyarewebecomi ngcoldand
di
stantal
lofasudden?Igetupandgosi ton
hi
slapandkisshi
m allov
erhisface.Hegiggl
es
Hi
m:Andt
hen?
Me:Idontli
kethi
s.Forpeoplewhohav
entseen
eachotherf
ordays,we'
redistant
.
Hi
m:Yeah,
that
swhatIwast
hinki
ng.
Me:Im sorr
ybabyforacti
ngallwei
rd.Justt
hat
,
whenIsawt hepetal
sont hefl
oor
,Ithought
aboutthatni
ghtyouproposedtoYonelaandI
gotangry.I
m sor
ry.Idontknowwhyt hat
happensanditshouldnt
.
Hi
m:Wi
l
lyouev
erl
ett
hatgo?
Me:
What
?
Hi
m: Thi
sobsessingovermypastwit
hYonel
a.
I
thappenednowev er
yromanti
cgestur
eIdo
wi
llbescrut
ini
zedandquest
ioned?
Whatisheonabout ?Hepushesmeof fofhim
andstandst oleave.Hesaysnothi
ngexcept
walkoutthedoor .Mywhol ebodyjusttenses
up.Whatwassupposedt obearomant i
cnight
hasjustturnedtoshit.Andwhy?Iapol ogised
andnowhesact ingup?Mxm.Fuckt hi
s
honestl
y!Istepintotheshowerandl etthe
waterwashal lmyst r
essesaway,wel l
almost .
Theseawf uldir
tythoughtskeepcrawlinginto
mymi ndandasmuchasIt rytopusht hem
away ,t
heycomeback.I mlay i
nginbed, j
ust
thi
nkingaboutwhatt ranspiredbetween
Melisi
zweandIandIj ustcanthelpbutcr y.He
walkedoutonme.Andi tsallmyf ault
.Maybe
him amdIar entmeantt obe.May bewe' re
for
cingsomet hingt hatfatehasal readydecided
against.Becausewhyi sitthatwhenev erwe're
happy,weendupf ight i
ngort urni
ngt oshit
?I
eventuall
yfallasl
eepwi t
htheset houghts
swimmi nginmybr ain.

TodaysFridayandMelisizwehasntcalledor
text
edsinceWednesday .Itr
iedtocal
lbutitj
ust
rangunanswered,sev
er altimes.Hemustst i
l
l
bemadatme, soIvedeci dedt ogi
vehi
mt i
me
tocooloff
.Myof f
icephoner ings
Me:FNBaudi
ti
ng,
Thandospeaki
nghowmayI
hel
pyou?
?
:ABSAaudi
ti
ng,
Quespeaki
ng,
aty
ourser
vice.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Que!
Her
:Baby
!
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Her
:Cal
l
ingy
ou.
Me:
Your
esuchanui
sance.
QueandIar est
il
lclose.OhIforgott
oment i
on,
shespregnant.Toldmet woweeksbackandI
fl
ewt oPEt oseeherandcongr atul
ateheri
n
person.Wet al
kalmostev er
ydayherandI.Shes
mysi st
erfrom anothermist
er,t
hatshowmuch
Il
ov eher.NextweekFr i
day,we'
regraduati
ng
andIm superexcited.
Her
:Iknow.What
swr
ong?
Me:
Ithi
nkMel
ihat
esme.
Inar
rat
ethewholest
oryandatearescapesbut
Iqui
ckl
yswoopitupbefor
eany
onenot ices.
Her
:Babe,
whydoy
oudot
hat
?
Me:
Quey
our
esupposedt
obeonmysi
de.
Her:No.I
m neut
ral
.Imagi
neift
het
abl
eswer
e
t
urned,howwouldyouhandl
eit
?
Me:
Idontknow.
Her:Youdo.Nowstopbei
ngpet
tyandgoenjoy
yourman.AndwhenIcall
Monday,
Iexpectt
o
hearahappyyou.Cl
ear
?
Me:
Yes
Her:Good.Nowgofuckyourmansenseless
causethat
swhatI
llbedoingt
hisweekend.Bye.
Shehangsup,l
eavi
ngmedazedandsmi l
ing.
Thisi
swhyshesmybest estfr
iend.HerandEr i
n.
Theytel
lmesomecut t
hroattr
uthsbutatl
eastI
knowitsfr
om agoodplace.Thedayfli
esby
andbefor
eIknowitit
shomet i
me.Yay!Idriv
e
home.
Iopenmygat eandhearmyt v
sonandIknow
that
sMelisizwe.Tear
scometomyf aceandI
wipethem atthedoorbutt
heykeepcoming.
Mxm stupidtears,
betr
ayi
ngmewhenIneedt o
bestr
ong.Igoov ertothel
oungewhereIfi
nd
hi
m seatedwatchingsport
s.Gosh.Mytear
s
havestopped.Good.
Me:
Hey
.
Hetur
nstomeandfrowns.I
m guessi
ngmy
ey
eshaveal
readygi
venmeaway .
Hi
m:Hi
.

Itur
nt hewat
eroffandstepout
.WhenIgett
o
theroom,Melii
sont hebed.
Hi
m:Baby
?
Il
ookathi
m andsaynot
hing.Nor
esponse,
no
emoti
on.
Hi
m:I
m sor
ryIov
err
eact
ed.
Me:Noy ouwereri
ght
.AndIm sor
ryt
oo.Butit
wasntint
ent
ional
andIonl
ytol
dy oubecauseI
f
eltbad.
Hi
m:Nobaby
,Il
i
kei
twheny
ouopenupt
ome.
Soy
ouf
orgi
veme?
Me:
Onl
yify
ouf
orgi
veme.
HenodsandIsmi
l
e.
Hi
m:NowcanIgetmyl
ongov
erdueki
ss?
Ibl
ushandgoki sshi
m,it
ssodel i
ciousand
fi
ll
edwithlov
e.Hepull
smecl oserandIendup
str
addli
nghim andki
ssi
nghimf ordearl
ife.I
pullawayandheissohard.
Him:Iloveyoumorethanme.Ihat
eitwhenwe
donttalk,
ithur
tsme.
Me:
Met
oo.Your
emywor
ldandmor
e.
Hef
li
psusov
erandl
aysont
opofme.
Hi
m:MayI
?
Inodandheki
ssesme,whi
lehishandmakes
i
tswaytomynewlywaxedcrot
ch..
.

We'r
eatthedi
nnertabl
e,si
tt
ingacr
ossf
rom
eachot
herandjustsmi
li
ng.
Me:
Youknow.
..
Hel
ooksatmeandbi
teshi
sbot
tom l
i
p
Me:
Whenyouweregone,Iwasimagi
ningal
l
t
hethi
ngsI
ddot
oy ou,whenyoucomeback..
.
Hi
m:I
sit
?
Inod.Andgetupfrom t
hetabl
eandwal
ktohi
m.
Ibendandwhisperinhi
sear.
Hi
m:Bei
nthebedr
oom i
n10andI
llshowy
ou.
Withthatsaiditurnandwal koff,
notbeforehe
spanksmeandIy el
p.AssoonasIgett othe
room,Irushtot heclosetandchangeintomy
l
itt
lenursescost umeandgetcuf fs,
Itonethe
l
ightsdown, l
ightsomecandl esandplugmy
phoneonhi sspeaker s.Toni
ght,I
m goingtoliv
e
mywi l
destdreams.Hecomesi nandwhi stl
es.
Hi
m:Baby
..
.
Iputmyfi
ngert ohi
sli
psandshakemyheadno.
Ipushhi
m ont hebedandhandcuffhimtoi
t.
Onbothsides.Timetopl
ay.Ipr
essplayand
Bey once-Rocketcomeson.Mel i
sizwei swide
eyedasi st artmov ingandgr inding.Hes
gri
nni ngandl ickinghi slips, whileIsl owlytake
offmycl othes.Imov et ot hebed, gr abbing
scissor sal ongt hewayandsmi leathi m.The
feari nhi sey esi senought omakemel aughbut
Idont .Ir emai ni nchar act er.SlowlyIcuthi s
j
eansof f,maki ngsur eImov ef r
om hi swai st.I
canseeasmi lecr eepingonhi sbeaut i
ful,
bear dedf aceasIcutt hem of f.Thisi spayback
foral lthet imesher ippedmypant iesof f.I
m
j
ustr et urningt hef avoursi ncet hesear ehis
favour itejeans.OnceI m doneIgetont opof
him andst artgr indingasDanceForYoubegi ns.
Im gr i
ndi ngonhi shar dcockwi thmyl ace
pant i
es.I mr ubbi ngmy self,moani ngand
throwi ngmyheadback.Thebedst artsshaking,
Mel i
sizwewant stobef r
eeandt ouchme.
Hi
m:Thando,
baby
,pl
ease.
Iunhookmybraandl
etmybreast
sfr
ee,and
star
trubbi
ngonmyni
ppl
es,bi
ti
ngmylips.
Hi
m:Thandoy
our
eki
l
li
ngme.Pl
ease.
Ismi l
e,l
ickhisl i
psandbi t
ehi sbottom l
ip.He
groansinmymout h.Itakeof fmypantiesand
Im soakingwet .Iturnandsl i
dehimi n,r
ev er
se,
thenletmyhi psdot hetal
kingforus.Webot h
panting,screaming, moaningandgr oaning.
Calli
ngeachot hersnamesanddecl ari
ngour
l
ov e.Aft
erwhatseemsl i
keal if
etime,my
pleasurecomesdownonhi ml i
kear ai
nandhe
foll
owsaf ter,hi
ssingmynamel i
keapoi sonous
venom thathasi nv adedhi
sbody .
[
10/
30,
08:
41]Wadz
:£50
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Iwakeupt oawar m,
fuzzygoodf
eeli
ng.I
tsl
i
ke
mynetherregionsar
eallti
ngl
yandwarm.When
Il
ookdown, IseeThandosmouthtast
ingmy
goodness.Yummy !
Me:
Im goi
ngt
ocum.
..st
op.
..
Shesr
elent
less.Toy
ingwi
thmel
i
keI
m her
favour
it
elol
li
pop.I
m moaninglikeabi
tchand
shesgentl
ymassagingmybal l
sandthatalone
i
sdr i
vi
ngmecr azy
.Im socloseIcanf
eelitand
i
fshedoesntstop,I
llbusti
nhermouth.
Me:
Tha.
..
Icum i
nhermouthandshedoesntstop.
Swall
owingandcleani
ngupmypleasurewi
th
hermouth.Shecomesupwit
hadev ioussmi
le
onherface.
Her
:Mor
ningbaby
.
Shekissesme,maki
ngmet
ast
emy
sel
fonher
feat
hersoftl
i
ps.
Me:
Hi.
Shesmi
lesandcuddl
esme.Whatawayt
ost
art
myday.
Her
:Sl
eepwel
l
?
Me:
yeahandy
ou?
Her
:No.
Me:
Why
?
Il
ookatherconcer
ned.
Her
:Your
esnor
ingl
i
kepi
g.
Igaspandshegigglesl
ikeasmallchi
ld.Iget
ontopofherandtickl
eherunt
ilshesnorts.Ha!
Ienduplaughi
ngsohar dandsodoesshe.Who
knewshesnorts?

Aft
erasteamyshower
,wehav
ebr
eakf
astand
chi
llont
hecouch.
Me:
Baby
?
Her
:mmm?
Me:
Doy
ouev
erwantki
dsagai
n?
Thequest
ioncomesoutunexpect
adl
y.
Her
:uhm.
..
.wel
l
..
.may
be.Why
?Tr
yingt
oknock
meup?
Me:Notintent
ional
l
yno.ButI
dli
ket
ohav
eki
ds
wi
thyou.Itwouldbegreat
.
Her
:Okay
,wher
eist
hisgoi
ng?
Me:It
sjustaquest
ion,
youknowafter
ever
ythi
ngwevebeenthrough,
Iwantust
otr
y
agai
n.
Shesi
tsupandl
ooksmei
ntheey
e.Tr
yingt
o
getar
eadofme
Her
:wel
lyou'
l
lhav
etor
emar
ryme.
Il
augh.
Me:
re-
mar
ry?
Her:
Yes.Youwantt
oknockmeupoutof
wedlock?
Me:
uhm.
..
Ei
sht
hisi
sat
ri
ckquest
ion.
Me:
No?Wel
lnoti
ntent
ional
l
y.
Her
:Oh.Okay
Wechatsomemor eaboutrandom t
hingsunt
il
shedozesof
fandsleepsnexttome.Imustve
real
l
ywornherof
flastni
ght.Wewer eall
over
thebedr oom.Iwat chherasshesl eepsandI
thi
nkaboutt hepossi bi
l
itiesofami nimeand
her.Iprayourki dshav eherhear tandey es.
Thatsall Iaskfor,nothi
ngmor e.Shehasr eall
y
gottenundermyski nandIl oveit
.Shemakes
mehappy ,
excit
ed, angryandf al
l i
nl ovewith
herdaily.Sheknowswhi chbuttonst opushand
whichnott o,when.Ivenev erknownl ovel
ike
thi
si nallmyr el
ationshipsandI l
l bedamnedt o
fuckitupagai n.Shest i
rsandopensherey es.
Me:
Hey
.
Shestr
etchs,
flexi
nghersexybodyonmeand
bl
inksacoupleofti
mes
Her
:Hi
.What
sthet
ime?
Icheckmywat
ch
Me:
justaf
ter2.Youhungr
y?
Her
:Idontknowy
et.You?
Inod.
Her
:Whaty
ouwantt
oeat
?
Me:
Let
sgoout
.
Her
:Yousur
e?Idontmi
ndcooki
ng.
Me:
Iwantust
o.
Her
:Okayt
hen,
letmegogetdr
essed.
Me:
What
swr
ongwi
thwhaty
our
ewear
ingnow?
Sheswear
ingj
eansandat
op.Shel
ooks
amazi
ng.
Her
:Noi
tsnotcut
e.

Wesi tti
ngatt herestuaranthavi
nglunchand
talki
ngaboutl ifeandshesaskingmeabout
highschool .Peoplearegivingusdir
tylooks
andst ares.IsitbecauseIlookolder
,especi
all
y
withmybear d,orwhat ?Argwhogi v
esadamn
any way?
Her
:It
hinkweshoul
dgo.Peopl
ear
elooki
ng.
Me:
So?Letthem.Peoplewi
llal
wayslookand
r
emark.Andeveni
ftheydo,
itsnotaboutwhat
t
heysayandcal
lyou,it
saboutwhaty
ouanswer
t
o.Rememberthatokay?
ShenodandIleani
nforakiss.JustwhenI
thi
nkshe'
l
lleav
emehanging,sheleansinand
pecksme.
Me:
Ilov
eyouokay
?
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
Ont hewayhome, Icontempl
ateontell
i
ngher
thatIwontmakei tt
ohergraduat
ion.I
m going
toChicagoforaweekandahal fi
fallgoeswell
businesswise.Ij
usthopeshewontbet oo
disappoi
nted.
Me:
Babe?
Her
:Mm?
Me:Iwontbeabl
etocomet
oyourgr
aduat
ion
butIpr
omiset
omakeitupt
oyou.
Shej ustl
ooksatmeandsaysokayandnot
hing
mor e.Wegettoherf
latandsheget
soutand
walksup.Iknowshesmad.
Wegoi nandshegoestotheroom andchar
ges
herphoneandgoestotheki
tchen.I
mf ol
l
owing
behi
ndherli
kealostpuppyandshesnotsayi
ng
anyt
hing.
Me:
Saysomet
hing.
Her
:Li
kewhat
?
Me:
Any
thi
ng,
please.
Her
:Idonthav
eany
thi
ngt
osay
.
Me:Igetyour
emadandy
oushoul
dbutIwi
l
l
makeituptoyou.
Her
:Im notmadandy
oudonthav
etomakei
t
upt
ome.
Me:Thenwhatar
eyou?Whatdoyoumeany
ou
dontwantmetomakeitupt
oyou?
Her:I
m notany
thing.Youhavebusi
nessto
at
tendtothenfi
ne.Go.Idontwanttomakeit
uptomebecausenoamountofgi f
tsor
pr
esentswil
levermakeupf ori
t.
Shetakesoutsomewor
kingt
ool
sandeggsand
mil
k.
Me:
Cany
oust
op?I
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou.
Her
:AndIml
i
steni
ng.Idonthav
etol
ookaty
ou
t
otalk.
Me:
Thandoman!
I
m shouti
ng.Shesmakingmeangr y
.Shestops
whatshesdoingandputsherhandonherhips.
Her
:Bhut
i?
Herey
esshownoemot
ionandl
ooksatme.
Me:
Cany
ouj
usthearmeout
?
Her
:ButIdi
dnj
e.Whatmor
edoy
ouwant
?
Me:
Tol
i
sten.
Her:
Okayt hen,
tal
k.Shesi
tsont
hehi
ghchai
rs
andlooksatme.
FucknowI
vel
ostmyf
li
ppent
rai
noft
hought
.
Mxm
Me:
Soy
ounotmad?
Her
:No.
Me:
Buty
ouract
ionsdontsuggestso.
Her
:Nj
ani
(how)
?
Me:Wel
lforst
art
ersy
ouj
ustst
ormedoutoft
he
car
.
Her
:Idi
dntst
orm out
,Iwal
kedout
.
Shessocool aboutev er
ythi
ngthatitpissesme
off.Whyam Iev engetti
ngangry?Istandand
attackherwithakiss.Ineedtofeelthatwe'r
e
okayandt hatshesreall
ynotmad.She
recipr
ocatesandev enmoansal it
tl
ei nmy
mout h.Shepull
sawayandl ooksatme, wit
h
l
aught eri
nherey es.
Her
:Andt
hen?
Me:
CantIki
ssmygi
rl
fr
iend?
Her
:oooo!Gi
rl
fr
iend?Sof
ancy
!
Icanthel
pbutsmi
l
eandshesmi
l
esback,
wel
l
mor
eli
kebl
ushes.
Me:
Soy
our
enotmad?
Her:No.Real
l
ybaby,Iunder
standandther
esno
needtomakeituptome.Yougoi ngawayon
busi
nesssoitsf
ine.
Icanthel
pbutadmi
reher
.Shesagem t
o
behol
d.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Her
:SocanIgobackt
owhatIwasdoi
ng?
Me:
whatwer
eyoudoi
ngany
way
?
Shest
andsandIspankherbum
Her
:aah!Babe!
Shesaysthatsosexyt
hough.Damn!Ibi
temy
bot
tom l
i
p.

~Thando~
Byt
het
imeI
m done,
theki
tcheni
samessand
Im cov
eredinchocol
atesauceandf
lour
.Nev
er
againwil
lIbakewit
hMelisi
zwe.
Hi
m:Whendoweaddt
heweed?
Igasp
Me:
Whatweed?
Hi
m:Tot
hebr
owni
es?
Alaught
erescapesmyl i
ps.Whatdoesheknow
aboutweed?Imlaughingsohar
dev ent
earsar
e
for
minginmyey es.Hesdeadsti
ll
justl
ooki
ng
atme.
Me:Nobabe.Noweed,
justchocol
atebr
owni
es.
Any
waywhatdoyouknowaboutweed?
Hi
m:Heehai
bo?
Me:
Yousmokedweedbef
ore?
Hi
m:Yeah.I
nhi
ghschool
.
Me:
Yhu?Andt
hatwasi
n19-
when?
Hel
aughs
Hi
m:Whaty
out
ryi
ngt
osay
?
Me:
Not
hing.
Iendupgi ggli
ngtryi
ngtomov efrom hi
m.He
takesoffhisshir
tandmov esclosert
ome.Hes
magnificentandIjustwantt
or unmyt ongue
alonghischocolatebrownski
nandhav eatast
e
ofitagain.
Hi
m:St
opogl
i
ngmybody
.
Me:
Stopbei
ngsodamnsexy
.
Hesmi
l
es,
mor
eli
kebl
ushi
ng.
Hi
m:Yout
hinkI
m sexy
?
Hesst
andi
ngi
nfr
ontofme,
smi
l
ing
Me:
Yeah
Hebl
ushes.
Me:
Andt
hisi
sthepar
tyousayt
hanky
ou?
Him:Thankyou.
..butwhenIcompl
i
menty
ou,
youneversayt
hanky ou.
Ismi
l
e,embar
rassed.
Me:
Ido.
Hi
m:Youdont
.Why
?
Hessocutewhenhesmi
l
esIj
ustcantst
op
smil
i
ngtoo.
Me:
Idontknow.
Hi
m:Youdontknow?
Me:
Idont
.ButI
lll
ear
ntosayi
t.
Hi
m:good.Nowgi
vedaddyaki
ss.
Me:
Euw!Daddy
?Megat
urnof
f.
Hebur
stsoutl
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:Okay
,gi
vey
ourmanasmooch.
Igi
ggl
eandreachuponmytoesandki
sshim.I
pul
lawaywhenhegrabsmybum andl
i
ftsme
up.
Me:
a.awehav
etocl
ean.
Hesi
ghs,
pecksmeandput
smedown.
Mondaymor ning,Im smili
ngl i
keani di
otat
wor k,
althoughI m sadmybabyl oveisnothere.
Hesov er seasandIwi shIcoul dvegonewi t
h
hi
m.Icr iedyesterdaywhenhel eftandheev en
shedat earort woatt heairport.Theweekend
wasmagi cal
,fi
lledwithlove,laught erand
obviouslysex.Idontknosbutt hewayMel i
holdsmei senoughtol astmeal i
feti
me.Thats
whatIl ov emostabouthi m.Hi shear tthatnow
bel
ongst ome.
I
m sl
avi
ngaway,goi
ngt
omakecopi
eswhenI
bumpsomeone.
Me:
Sor
ry.
Isaywhil
stwalkingaway.Appar entl
ytheboss
i
scomi ngi
nandI mrunni
ngar oundlikea
headl
esschicken.Idontknowwhybecauseal l
theworkIv
ebeenassi gnedtohasbeendone
anhouragoandI m nowjusthelpingSav anna,
mysecondaryboss, wi
thhers.Af t
erIm done,I
gobackandshecal
l
smet
oherof
fi
ce.Iget
ther
eandstand.
Her
:MrJonasi
sinandwoul
dli
ket
oseey
ou.
Me:
DidIdosomet
hingwr
ong?I
..
.
Her:
Nohewantstomeety
ou.Nowst
op
pani
cki
ngandgo.
Shesmil
esatmeandIsmi
l
eback,
thengot
o
hi
soff
ice.
Iknockonhi sdoorandhet ell
smet oent er
.I
openandgoi n.Hesseat edandlookingathis
comput er
.Istandbyhi stableandwai tforhi
m
tofi
nish.Suchar udeass, doesntevennot i
ce
myf uckenexistance.May beIshoul
dl eave
becauseobv i
ouslyIm distur
bing.Af
terawhi le,
heturnstome
Hi
m:Thandokazi
Nqumbo?
Me:
Yessi
r?
Him:
Thembel
ihl
eJonas.ButI
m MrJonast
o
you,
alway
s.
Me:
Yessi
r.Pl
easedt
omeety
ou.
Hehasalightcompl exi
on,themostbeaut i
ful
hazel
eyesunderthickspect acl
esanddimpl es
whenhespeaks.Hisey esremi ndmeofSi m.
Woah,hol
dupwai t,didhejustsayhes
Thembeli
hleJonas?Coul dhebeSi mthandil
e's
fat
her?

[
10/
30,
11:
56]Wadz
:Her
esal
i
ttl
eIm sor
ry.
..

£51
~Thando~
"
Dismi
ssed"
.
Iturnandwal kaway .Icanfeel hi
seyesbor
eat
thebackofmyhead, probablychecki
ngmeout.
Im sit
ti
ngatmydeskpounder i
ngthi
snew
foundinforoami nginmyheadanddeci det
o
callMam'Naledi.Justasi tr
ings,hecomesout
ofhisoffi
ceandIdr opt hecal l
.Hewalks
t
owardsmeandstandsnextt
ome,
notsay
inga
wor
d.Itur
ntohi
m
Me:
Yessi
r?
Hi
m:I
tsl
uncht
ime
Uh.
..am Isupposedt
oanswer
?CauseI
m
st
unnedIhav enowords.
Hi
m:Letmet
reaty
ou.
Me:
RocoMamas?
Hesmi
l
es,
wow.
Hi
m:Yes.
Ismilebackandwewal kout.Sever
alpeopl
e
arelookingatuswithshockandsomear eev
en
whisperingtoeachother.Okay?Why?Itsnot
evenlikeweholdinghands.
Wegett
oRocoMamasandor
der
.
Him:Sotel
lmeaboutThando?CanIcal
lyou
Thando?
Me:
YesSi
r.Whatdoy
ouwantt
oknow?
Hi
m:Any
thi
ngy
our
ewi
l
li
ngt
oshar
e.
Me:Uhm..okay.
.im 21almost22,Ima
fi
nanci
alaudi
tori
ntrai
ning,noki
ds,nopets.
Andyeahthatsabouti
t.Oh,yes,
Ivebeen
meaningtoask,mayIpleasehaveFri
dayoff
?
Hi
m:Why
?
Me:
Im gr
aduat
ing.
Hi
m:Oh.Wher
e?
Me:
AtNMU
Hi
m:Ohokay
.Uhm.
..canIcome?
I
m abitt
akenabackbyhi
squest
ion.Hesmy
bossso.
..
Me:
Yes,
ify
ouwant
.
Hi
m:Good.Anyboy
fri
end?
Me:
No.
Ohmyf uck!WhydidIsayno?Shit
.Butke,who
canhonestl
ybefreei
nfrontoft
hei
rbossand
sayyestheyhav
eaboy fri
end?Hayishame,I
m
t
ooshy
.
Hi
m:Oh.
Me:
Andy
ou?
Hi
m:No,
noboy
fri
end.Nev
erhadone
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Soy
our
est
il
lav
irgi
n?
Helaughs.Wow.Hi
ssmi
l
e,t
hosedi
mpl
es,
t
hoselips .Damn.
Woah!Di
dIj
ustcheckoutmyboss'
li
ps?
Him: No.Im mor
ei ntowomanthanmen.
TheresjustsomethingaboutawomanthatI
cantresi
st
Me:
Oh,
soapl
ayer
?
Hesmi
l
es
Hi
m:Notr
eal
l
y.
Ismi
l
eandl
ookdown.
Me:
Anyki
ds?
Thequest
ionbl
urt
soutofmymout
h.
Hi
m:Uhm.
..nott
hatIknowof
.
Isaynothing.Ineedt
ogethi
sDNAsomehow.
Hisnapkinwontbeenough.Ineedhi
ssal
i
va.

We'rebackfr
om l
unchandIm worki
ngi
nmy
cubicl
e.If
ini
shanhourear
lyandgotoSt
ephs
off
ice.
Her
:Hey
Me:
Hi,
ist
her
eany
thi
ngel
seIcandof
ory
ou?
Her
:uhm,
no.GoaskMrJonas.
Ialmostpeemysel
f.Idontknowwhybuthe
scaresmesomuch.Butany way,Igoknockat
hisdoorandhetel
l
smet oopen.Iopenthe
doorandgoin.Helooksupatme
Me:Uhm.
.Si
r,doy
ou.
..uh.
..hav
e..
.uhm,
any
ot
herwor
kforme?
Hi
m:Li
kehel
pmewi
thsomet
hing?
Me:
Uhm.
..Isuppose.
..
Hi
m:Notatt
hismomentno.Butuh.
,
Hesear
chesaroundandget
supandgoesto
hi
scabi
netthentur
nstome.Hehandsme
somepaper
s
Hi
m:Dontdot
hatpl
ease
Me:
DowhatSi
r?
Hi
m:Bi
tey
ourbot
tom l
i
p.
Ilookaway,t
ryi
ngnotosmil
e.It
akehispaper
s
andwal kout
.Whatdidhemeanbythat
?Imake
thenecessar
ycopi
esandwalkbacktohis
offi
ce.Ontheway,somechi
ckbl
ocksmyway ,
Her:
Ifyouknowwhatsgoodf
ory
ou,
you'
l
lst
ay
awayfr
om Thembel
ihl
e.
Me:
Orwhat
?
Shechuckl
es
Her
:Hesadanger
ousman.Wat
chy
oursel
fgi
rl
.
Wi
tht
hatsai
d,shepassesby
,bumpi
ngmy
shoulderasshedoes.Whatt hefuckisgoingon
here?Iknockathisdoorandst epin.Hes
pacingandstopswhenheseesme.Igoi nand
givehim hi
spaper s.Hecarri
esonpaci ngandI
putthepapersathi sdesk.WhenIt urn,hi
slips
areonmi neandhi shandonmywai st
.Hislips
aresowar m andsof t,
thatIcanthelpbutkiss
hi
m back.Het astesofpepper mintandwine.Is
hedr i
nki
ngont hej ob?Aft
erawhi l
ehepul l
sof f
Hi
m: I
m sorr
y,t
hatshoul
dnthav
ehappened.I
t
wonthappenagai
n.
Ibl
i
nkacoupl
eoft
imesandwal
kaway
.Woah!

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Theweekhasf l
ownbyqui cklyandIm onmy
wayt oPE.Im goingt osur
pr i
seThandof orher
graduati
on.Wewr appedthingsupquicklyinthe
stat
esandev er
ythingwentsuper bl
y.I
m so
anxiousIcantwai ttogetthereandseeThando
i
nhergownl ookingallsor
tsofbeaut i
ful
.Iget
toNMUandsecur itylet
smet hrough.Heee!
Justliket
hat ?IbettergetThandooutofher e
fastbefor
eanybadshi thappens.Igett ot he
hallandsitattheback, withQondi khaya.I
watchast hest udentsstandt ogocol l
ectt hei
r
degrees.Finall
yThandoget scalledandshe
standsandgof etchesherpaper .I
m smilingli
ke
amadmanatt hebackr estr
ainingmy selffrom
maki ngacompl et
ef oolofmy self.
Im outsi
deseepi ngt hroughacr owdof
graduatesandt heirpar entslookingforThando.
IspotDav i
dandThandi swaandgot othem.I
fi
ndt hem standingwi thThandoansomef ucker
whossmi lingli
keani diotatmywoman.Hee!
Heshol di
ngherwai standt hey '
retakingaphot o.
Whatt hefuckist hi
s?Icl earmyt hroatand
Thandoal mostjumpswhensheseesme.She
walksoutoft hemansembr aceandt owar
ds
me.
Me:
Heybaby
.
Her
:Hi
.
Igi
veherabearhug,li
fti
ngherupandspinni
ng
herar
oundint
hepr ocess.Shesqueal
sinmy
earasIspi
nheraround.
Me:
Sur
pri
sebaby
!Congr
atul
ati
ons.
.

Thandoi ntr
oducesmet ot hefucker.Hesher
bossbutt hewayhesogl ingherbody ,makes
mybloodboi l.Af t
erthegr aduat i
on,weal lgo
eatoutandt hebossl eaves.Quei ssocutewi t
h
herhugebel l
yandSanel ei sglowingwi th
happiness.Ireallyam happyf orthem andt hei
r
soont obebundl eofj oy.Att hetable,Thando
seemsdi str
act ed.Farawayf rom everyone.She
occassionall
ylaughsandsmi l
esandt hatsit.
Shekeepsst eal i
ngglancesmywayandshy s
awayev eryt
imeIt r
ytoki ssher .Whats
happeningher e?
I
mi nmyhotel
room hav
ingaglasdofwhiskey
whenther
esaknockatthedoor,
Iopenandf i
nd
mybeauti
ful
gir
lf
ri
endst
andi
ngt
her
ewi
tht
ear
s
i
nhereyes.
Me:
What
swr
ong?
Her
:CanIcomei
n?
Istandasideandshewalksin.AssoonasI
cl
oset hedoor,shet
hrowsherarmsaroundme
andweepsi nmyar ms.Thr
oughhertear
s,she
tr
iestospeak
Her
:Pr
omi
se.
..pr
omi
se.
..y
ouwont
..ev
erl
eav
e?
Me:
What
shappened?
Shel
oseshershi
tandhi
tsmehar
donmychest
.
Me:
Fine,
Ipr
omi
se.
Her
:Sayi
tli
key
oumeani
t.
Me:
Imeani
t,Iwontev
erl
eav
e.
Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Iknow.Il
ovey
oumor
e.
Sher
eachesupandpul
l
smyf
acet
oher
sand
kissesme.Inmyhead,amil
l
iont
hingsar
e
runningt
hroughmymind.

~Thando~
Theguiltiseatingmeup.Tr uthis,myboosand
Ididmor ethanki ssing.Nosex, wellpenetrati
on
thati
s.Het ookmet omuf f
t owni nhisoff i
ceon
Thursdayaf t
erwor k.Andt hat swhenIst opped
i
tall,
Icantdot hi
st oMel isizweaf terallwe' v
e
beenthrough.Hesbeensogoodt omeand
eventhoughhehashi sf aults, hedoesnt
deservethisfrom me.Hel ov esmesomuch
andIseet hatnow, hemakest i
mef ormei nhis
busyschedul eandwhenhesnotaway ,
he
comest oseemeev ery
dayj usttosay
goodnight.Andt hismancoul dbeSimsf ather.
HowcanIcont i
nuewi tht his.
Mel
i
:Baby
?
Me:
Hmm?
Hi
m:Sl
eepmyl
ove.
Me:
Icant
.
Isaywhil
esnuggli
ngincl
osert
ohi
m,sli
dingmy
handinhi
spants.Ij
usthol
dmypeni
s.Yes
MINE!Hemoans
Me:
Ineedt
otel
lyousomet
hing.
.
Icanthol
ditanymore,Icantl
ivewi
ththi
sgui
lt
i
nmyhear tanymore.Myt ear
sfal
landIsi
tup.
Me:
Wheny
ouwer
egone,
somet
hinghappened?
Hesi
tsup
Hi
m:What
?
Me:
I..
.I.
..
Fuck!Icantdothis,
Imov eandstraddl
ehim so
Icanbeclosertohim.Her eachesoverand
swit
chesont helampIguesssohecanseeme
bett
er.Thisi
ssohar d.Theconcernand
curi
osit
yinhiseyeshurtsmeev enmor e.
Hi
m:Tal
ktomebaba.
Me:
Iki
ssedhi
m.
Hi
m:Who?
Me:
Myboss.
Hegoesqui
etandl
ooksdown.
Hi
m:That
sit
?
Shoul
dI?Shoul
dntI
?
Me:
Andhemuf
fedme.
AssoonasIsayt hat,hepushesmeof fhim and
Ifal
lonthebed.Heget sup,grabshiskeys,
phoneandwalletthenleav
es,bangingthedoor
behi
ndhim.
Whathav
eIdone?
[
10/
30,
11:
56]Wadz
:£52
~Thando~
IdontknowwhenIf ell
asleepbutIwaswoken
upbyMel i
sizweget t
ingintobedsmelli
ngli
ke
al
coholandper f
ume.Heget sinandpull
sme
i
ntohisarms, wrappinghisbodyaroundmine.
At
leasthesshowingmeaff
ecti
oneveninhis
dr
unkenstate.Iev
ent
ual
l
yfall
asleepagai
n.
Iwakeupaloneinbed.Si
gh.WhenIsitup,I
al
mostgetaf r
ight
,Meli
sizwei
ssit
ti
ngont he
chai
ropposi
tethebed,withagl
assofwhiskey.
Me:
Isnti
tal
i
ttl
eear
lyt
odr
ink?
Hesay
snot
hingexceptgul
pshi
sdr
ink.
Hi
m:Somewher
eint
hewor
ld,
itst
heper
fect
t
imet
odri
nk.
Inod.I
mtooaf
rai
dtospeak.
Hi
m:Why
dyoudoi
t?
Me:
Idontknow.
Hi
m:Youdontknow?
Me:
Idont.ButI
m sor
ryIdi
d.I
twasntsupposed
t
ohappen
Hi
m:Butitdi
d.Youl
etanot
hermant
ast
ewhat
i
smine.
Ihangmyheadi
nshame.I
mfi
l
ledwi
thr
emor
se
t
osayany
thi
ng.
Hi
m:Di
dhemakey
oucum?
Whatt
hef
uck?HowdoIanswersuch?
Hi
m:Thando,
ndi
yat
het
ha(
Imt
alki
ngt
oyou)
.
Idontr
epl
y.Icantr
epl
y.
Hi
m:THANDO!
Hesmashest
hegl
assont
hef
loorandIst
art
cr
ying.
Hi
m: Donty
oufuckencr
y.Wipet
hosecrocodi
l
e
t
earsandanswermyFUCKINGQUESTION!
Hesliv
idwi
thanger.I
veneverseenMel
i
sizwe
l
ikethi
sbefor
ebutIm adamentinmysi
lence.I
wipemytearsandshakemyheadno.
Hi
m:Soy
oudi
dntcum?
Ishakemyheadno.
Hi
m:Openy
ourmout
handanswerme.
Me:
No.
Hest
andsandwal
ksout
.

Im athome, pacingupanddown.It ri
edcalli
ng
Mel ibutitgoesst r
aighttov oi
cemai l.DidIli
e
aboutnotcummi ng?NoIdi dnt .Ididntcum.I
stoppedhi m bef oreitcouldgetf urtherthanthe
moans.Whenhewaspl easuri
ngme, al
lIcould
thinkaboutwasmymanandt hat swhenI
pushedhi m of fmeandwal kedout .He
apologisedsev eralt
imesbeggi ngmenott o
sendhi mt oHR.IwontbecauseI m mucht o
blamesoi she.Imanagedt ogetsomeofhi s
DNAandsenti tt othelabwi thTat '
Sizwe.So
nowI mj ustwai t
ingtoheart her esul ts.
"
THANDO!
"
Me:
Comi
ng!
Igodownstair
stotheki
tchenandf
indmy
par
entsseatedther
e.
Mama:
Baby
?What
swr
ong?
Me:
Not
hing.
Shegi
vesmealoookandDavi
dleav
es,
kissi
ng
myfor
eheadashepasses.
Ma:Thando,whathappened?Youvebeenso
di
stantsi
nceyousawMel isi
zwe.Di
dyouguys
fi
ght?
Me:
I..
.
Tear
sfal
lonmyal
readyt
aint
edcheeks
Ma:
Thandoy
our
escar
ingme.Pl
easebaby
.
Me:
Icheat
edonhi
m
Shegaspsandshakesherhead.
Me:
AndIt
oldhim.Nowhedoesntwantt
otal
k
t
omeatal
l.Imustdi
sgusthi
m somuch.
Her:Nobabydontsayt
hat
.Hav
eyout
ri
ed
cal
l
inghim?
Inod.
Me;
Buthedoesntpi
ckup.
Mama( Thandiswa)hol dsmei nherarmsand
rocksmet il
lIcalm down.Justt hen,Blessi
ng
andAmorcomei n.Blessingissocuteand
growingol der.Shesal most1andhast hemost
adorableey es.They'readar kershadeofgreen
onherl ightcaramel skin.Shelif
tsherarmsup
andIt akeher .
Her
:Tado!
Me:
Baby
!
Ikissheral
lov
erhergor
geousf
aceandshe
giggl
es
Amor
:Me,
Thando!
Amorissuchahandsomeli
tt
lefel
l
aIt
endto
getl
osti
nhisbeaut
if
ulbl
ueeyes.Hel
ooksso
muchli
keDavi
ditsscar
y.
Me:
Hiangel
face.
Hegi
ggl
esandcomesi
nforahug.
Hi
m:WatwongTado?
(What
swr
ongThando)
?
Me:
Not
hingbaby
.
Hi
m:Whyy
oucl
y?(
whyar
eyoucr
ying)
Me:
Im happy
.Ipassed.
Hegiggl
esandrunsoff
.Dav
idcomesinand
cat
cheshim.I
tssuchasweetsi
ght
.Davi
d
comesinwit
hAmori nhi
sarmsandahuge
envel
ope.
Hi
m:Openi
t.
Iopenandit
sadopt
ionpaper
s.Whoar
ethey
adopt
ing?
Me:
Arey
ouguy
sadopt
ingababy
?
Theyl
augh.
Mama:
Yes.
Me:
Oh.
Dav
id:
Readon.
Ir
eadonandIf
reeze.
Me:
Me?Your
eadopt
ingme?
Theybot
hnodandIscr
eam.
..

It
sMondayandI m backatwork.ImissMeli
li
ke
crazyandoddlyenough,i
tsnotawkward
bet weenmeandmyboss.Wewor ki
nghustfi
ne
andal lt
hat
shappenediswaterundert
he
bridge.Heapol
ogisedagai
nandIm coolwi
th
him.
Man:
MissThandokazi
Nqumbo?
Me:
Yest
hat
sme.
Hehandsmesomef lower
sandchocolatesand
tel
lsmet osi
gn.Iwondetwher
ethisi
sf r
om.I
searchthr
oughthefl
owersandther
esanot e.I
t
reads:
"Imi
ssy ouli
kecrazybutIneedsomet
imeto
coolof
f.Ilov
ey outothemoonandbackand
donteverdoubtthat
.
Mel
i
sizweMv
elase"
Icanf
eel
myt
ear
spr
ickl
i
ngmyey
esbutIhol
d
t
hem backbecauseI
minanof
fi
cear
ea.
?
:Flower
salr
eady
?Wowy
oumust
ver
eal
l
y
f
uckedhi
m good.
Iturnandfi
ndthatsamegi
rl
,wit
hherar
ms
foldedandgi
vi
ngmeat t
it
ude.
Me:Bit
chwhat
sy ourpr
obl
em?Spiti
tout?What
?
YouwantMrJonas?Goaheadandleav
eme
thef
uckal
one.
Shecli
ckshertongueandwal
ksof
f.Shaki
ng
herr
atherl
argebehindatme,
mxm basi
cfool
.
Jonas:
Thando,
off
ice,
NoW!
Igetupandwal
ktohi
sof
fi
ce.Fuckenhel
l
.
Ist
epi
nandl
ookathi
m.
Hi
m:What
sgoi
ngon?
Me:Tellyourwomentostaythefuckawayfr
om
me.Im notint
oyou,
pleasetel
lhertost
ayinher
l
anebeforeIlosemycool.
Wi
tht
hatsai
d,It
urnandgobackt
omycubi
cle.
I
m sof uckenmadIcoul dscream butIkeepmy
headdownandf i
nishmywor k.WhenIlookup,
i
tswaypasthomet i
mear ound7pm.Ihav eto
putthewor ki
nhisof f
ice,Ist
andandwal kto
hi
sof fi
ce.WhenIopent hedoor,If
ind
StephaniebentoverandJonasf uckingher
fr
om behind
Me:
Oh.
..sor
ry.
Itur
nshutthedoorandleav
et hepapersand
documentsinSt
ephaniesoff
ice.Thengohome.

Thenextday ,Idr
eadgoingtowork.Butnev er
theless,
Igoi nandheadformydesk.
Stephani
ecal l
smet oherof
ficeandIr eal
l
y
dontwantt ogo.Butshedoesntbackdown, she
call
smet hroughtheoff
icephone.Istandup,
fi
xmyski rtandwalktoheroffi
ce,Iknockand
goin.
Me:
YesMa'
am?
Her
:Abouty
est
erday
,whaty
ousaw.
..
Me:
Whatdi
dIsee?
Shel
ooksatmeconf
used.
Her
:Youknowi
nMrJonas'
off
ice
Me:Idontknowwhatyout
alki
ngaboutma'
am.
Idi
dntseeanyt
hing.
Iwi
nkatherandshesmi
l
es
Her
:Hav
eIev
ert
oldy
ouhowmuchIl
i
key
ou?
Ibl
ush.
Me:
No.
Shel
aughs
Her
:Wel
lIdo.
Me:
Met oo.I
sther
eany
thi
ngel
sey
oudl
i
kef
or
metodo?
Shehandsmeashi
tloadofwor
kandIsmi
l
e
Me:
Il
lgetoni
t.
Theweekf
li
esbyandbef
oreIknowi
t,i
tsFr
iday
.
Im soexci
tedf
ortheweekend.I
m goi
ngto
cl
eanmyapar t
mentandjustchi
llwi
thwi
ne.I
cantwaitt
ogetoutofher
e.
Thedaygoesbyandbef or
eIknowiti
tshome
ti
me.AssoonasIst epoutoft
hebuil
ding,
my
phoner
ings.I
tsTat
'Sizwe.
Me:
Ta?
Hi
m:Pl
easecomesl
eepher
e.
Me:
Okayt
ata.

Igettomyapar t
mentandpackanov er
night
bag.Theresaknockonmydoor ,whenIopen,
i
tsMel i
sizwe.Ahugegr
inexplodesacr
ossmy
faceandIsqueal.Hesmil
estooandattacks
mewi thahugebearhugandhespi nsme
around.
Hi
m:Hi
baby
.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Hekissesmesosof
tl
y.Mycheeksbecomewet
,
i
tsnotmytear
s.
Him:Im sorr
yf orlett
ingmyegogetthebet ter
ofme.Butpr omi semet haty
ou'
l
lneverhurtme
l
ikethatagain.Nev erletanymannearmy
cast
le.Thatsmi nealone.AsIam yoursalone.
Inodwi
thahugegr
inonmyf
ace.
Hi
m:Souy
aphi
?(wher
eto)
Me:
Kokwenu(y
ourhome)
.
Hi
m:CanIdr
ivey
ou?
Inod.I
m outofpet
rol
any
way
.
Thedr
iveheshol
dingmyhandandki
ssi
ngme.
Hi
m:Icantl
i
vewi
thouty
ou,
myweekwashor
ri
d.
Me: Mi
netoo.ImissedyousomuchIwas
goingi
nsaneespecial
l
ywhenyoudi
dntanswer
yourphone
Him:
Im sorr
y.Ij
ustwasnti
nther
ightspace
andmind.Iwasscar
edofwhatImightdowhen
Isawy ou.ButthenIreali
sedt
hat
,aseachday
passed,Iwasmi ssi
ngy ousomuchandtoday
wasthel astst
raw.
Me:Well
,forwhatit
sworth,
Ivel
earntmy
l
essonandwillnev
erdoitagai
n.Youremy
l
if
eli
ne,
withoutyouIdi
e.
Hesmi
l
essohar
d
Hi
m:Real
l
y?
Inod.Justt henheplaySam Smi th-Li
fesuppor t
.
Hesi ngsal ong,ki
ssingmyhandashesi ngs.Im
practicall
ybeami ng.Mycheeksar ehur t
ing
from smi li
ng.Wegett ohishouseandgoi n.
Heshol di
ngmywai st,ki
ssingmebehi ndmyear
andwhi speringsweetnothingsi nthem.I m
giggl
ingandsoi she.We' reli
kel ovestruck
teens.MamaandTat aaresitt
ingont hecouch
holdi
nghands.Looki ngsodi straught.
Me:
Baby
,Im comi
ngnhe?
Hi
m:NoI
m comi
ngt
oo.
Hetakesmyhandandweexchangegr
eet
ings
wi
ththepar
entsandsi
tdown.
Tat
a:Wel
lthednatest
shaveret
urnedandwe
wanty
outoopentheenvel
ope.
Inodandtaketheenv
elopeinfrontofthem.Im
scar
edbutIhavetobestrongforallofus.I
opentheenvel
opeandpeakinside.Itakethe
paper
soutandgasp..
.
[
10/
30,
11:
56]Wadz
:Sor
ryi
tsshor
t.
..

£53
~Thando~
Il
ookatthepaper
sanditr
evealst
hatheisnot
herf
atherbutt
heyar
erel
ated.Whatdoesthi
s
mean?
Tat
a:I
thi
nint
ombam(
whatdoesi
tsaymygi
rl
)?
TheyarelookingatmeandIhol
dMelisi
zwes
hand.Ii
nterl
inkitwi
thmi
neandbrushitwi
th
myt
humb.
Me:Uhm...wel
l
...hesnotherf
atherbutt
heyar
e
r
elat
edthough.
Theyl
ookatmeconfusedandIhandthe
paper
sovert
oTat'Si
zweandhereadsthem.
Hisbr
owcreasesandheshakeshi
shead.
Hi
m:Iguesst
her
esonl
yonet
hingl
eftt
odo.
Mama:
What
?
Tat
a:Thando,
you'
l
lhav
etoaskhi
m.
Myeyeswi
denandMelisi
zwesgr
ipt
ight
ens
ar
oundmyhand.Ouch!
Me:
Uhm.
..how?
Tata:
Idontknowy
et.
..l
etsdi
scusst
his
tomorrow.
Inod,myhandpai ni
ngunderMeli
sizwesgri
p.
Mamast andskissesmycheekandgoes
upstai
rswi t
hTat a.Midwaythr
oughthestai
rs,
tat
acallsMel i
sizwe.Hepecksmylipsand
f
inal
l
ylet
sgoofmyhand.Iletmyhandf
reeand
f
lexmyfi
nger
s.Whatwasthatfor
?

~Mel
i
sizwe~
I
mi nmyparentsroom seat
edont
hecouch
opposi
tet
heirbed.
Me:
Ta?
Tat
a:Soy
ouandThando?
Me:
Whataboutus?
Mama: Dontbreakherheartany
mor ebaby
...
shesthebestthi
ngthatshappenedtousina
l
ongt i
me.Promisemet hatyou'
llst
opfool
ing
aroundandjustcommittoher?
Me:
Wher
est
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
Mama:Well
Ijustseehowyouvechangedand
howhappyyouare.Your
eevengl
owing.
Ismil
e,r
atherawkwar
dlyImi
ghtadd.Wher
eis
all
ofthi
sgoing?
Tata:Soall
inall,
youbr
eakt
hegi
rl
shear
t,I
breakyourdick.
Haibo!Wher
eisal
lofthi
scomi
ngf
rom?What
exactl
ydi
dIdohere?
Mama: Youv eputthegi
rlt
hroughalot.Ifyou
goi
ngt oplayher,t
henIsuggestyouleav eher
now,tonightsoshecanmov eon.Yout ookher
i
nnocence, madeherawi f
e,brokeherhear t
,
watchedherl osey
ourbabiesandmadeher
l
ovey ou.Ifyounotbackwithhertostay,then
l
eaveherf orgood.
Iswal
l
owedandnodded.
Tata: Youcangonow.Butr ememberourwords.
Umdal angokuMel i
sizwe(
Youreol
denough
now) .Ul eqai40(
Almost40).Pl
ayt
imeislong
over.Di smissed.
Withthatsai
dIstandandwalkout.Whatwas
thatabout?I
stheresomethi
ngtheyknowIdont
?
WhatdidIdot omakethem tal
kli
kethi
s?Igo
downstair
sandfindThandosit
ti
nginthe
ki
tchenont
hephone.
Her
:Wi
l
lyou?
.
..
Her:Thanksbabe.Your
ethebest
.Iloveyou.
Kisstheli
tt
leoneformeandtel
lherIcantwait
tomeether .
.
..
.
Her
:Haha.By
e.
Shehangsupandsighs.Igobehindherand
wrapmyarmsaroundhersmal l
frame.
Me:
What
swr
ong?
Her:
CanInottal
kabouti
tnow?Idontwantt
o
cr
yanymore.
Me:
Okay
.Nopr
obl
em.Soy
ouhungr
y?
Her
:St
arv
ing.Buti
tsl
atenj
e.
Me:
Comel
etsgoout
.Weneedt
otal
k.
Her
:Oht
hat
snev
eragoodsi
gn.At
leasty
ou'
l
l
dumpme,
whi
l
eImf
ull
.
Il
aughoutl
oud.
Me:
Mxm l
etsgo.
Shestandsandwalksaround.Igr
abherbum.
Shesquealsandgi
ggles.

We'r
eatt herest
uar
anthav
ingdinneroversome
ai
ryconversati
onandl
aughing.Justenj
oyi
ng
eachotherscompany.
Her
:Sowhatdi
dyouwantt
otal
kabout
?
Me: Baby
, y
ouknowIloveyouandwoulddo
anythi
ngforyou,
evenjumpinfr
ontofamoving
tr
ainforyou?
Her
:Okay
..but
?
Me:Butnot
hing.Iwasjustwonder
ing.
..want
ing
toknowyourvi
ews..
.orhowy oudfeel
.
..you
donthav
etoanswerrightaway.
..
Her
:Justgett
othepoi
nt.
Someonesr
atheragi
tat
edt
oday
.
Me:
Woul
dyoupl
easemov
einwi
thme?
Ihol
dmybr
eat
h
Her
:CanIt
hinkabouti
t?
Me:
Yeahsur
e..
.li
keIsai
d,y
oudonthav
eto.
Shesmi
l
esandki
ssest
hecor
nerofmyl
i
p.
Me:Iwantt
omakesweetandt
enderl
ovet
o
you.
Her
:Whatar
eyouwai
ti
ngf
or?
Ismi
l
e
Her
:Af
terI
vehaddesser
t,y
ouwantsome.
Me:
Iml
ooki
ngatmydesser
t.
Ismir
kandli
ckmyli
ps.Shest
ickshert
ongue
outatmeandbl
ushes.
Her
:Babe.
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:Whot
aughty
ouhowt
ofuck?
Il
aughoutloud,maki
ngsever
al peoplel
ookat
uswithdi
sapprovementont
heirfaces.ButI
dontcar
e.
Me:
Hai
bo?Whydoy
ouask?
Her
:Causey
our
edamngoodatwhaty
oudo.
I
minst
it
ches.Thando!
Me:
Thanky
ou.Andi
tsf
rom exper
ience.
Hersmi
l
efades.Shi
t.
Me:
Iusedt
obewi
l
dinhi
ghschool
andv
arsi
ty.
Her
:Youwer
eapl
ayer
?
Me:
Ipr
eferl
adi
esman.
Shel
aughs
Her
:Ha!I
m sur
eyoudo.
HerdessertcomesandIhav
eabi
tef
rom her
.
Sheli
kesfeedingmeandsodoI
.
Me:
Icantbel
i
eveI
m 12y
ear
sol
dert
hany
ou.
Her
:Yhuuu!Oupa!
Il
augh.
Me:That
snotwhaty
ousaywhenI
mlay
ingi
t
down.
Shel
aughs
Her:
ItsbecauseIdontwantt
osquandery
our
ef
fort
s.
Haha!Didshecal
lmysexgamewack?Hee
whatisshedoi
ngtomeandwhyam Ilet
ti
ng
her
.
Me:
Youl
i
kei
nsul
ti
ngmenhe?
Shegi
ggl
es.
Her
:Hai
ke!Notev
enmyol
dman.
Mxm howdoIevent
akeherser
iousl
ywhen
shesl
iket
his?

~Thando~
Mybodyisyearni
ngformorewhi
lemycoochi
e
oozeswi
thpleasur
e.Meli
si
zweisbet
weenmy
l
egs,gentlygrazingonmycoochi ewhilehis
fi
ngersmaket heirwayi nandoutofme.I m
moaningandgaspi ngf orair
.Buthedoesnt
stopj
ustther e.Hemakeshi swayupt omyf ace
whil
esepar atingmyl egswi derwi
thhis.He
gentl
yinsertshisr atherlargepenisi
nme, I
swearitsgrownbi ggerbecauseIcanf eel
my
nunubudpai nfull
yst ret
ching.
Hi
m:Whospussyi
sthi
s?
Hesay swhil
eheslowlysli
desout
.Imi n
anotherworl
d,mylegsaroundhi
swai standmy
waistmovinginsy
ncwi t
hhis.Hestops
Hi
m:Answerme.
Me:
Its.
..aaah.
..y
our
s.
Hi
m:Agai
n.
Hesayswhil
eheslamsinme, t
henslowl
y
sl
i
desout,mov i
nghi
shipsi
naci r
cul
armoti
on.
Hi
sheadbur i
edinmyneck,
kissi
ngandsucki
ng
me.Fuck.
..
Me:
Itsy
our
s.
Thebast
ardsmi
l
es
Hi
m:Whosbaby
?
Me:
Mel
i
sizweMv
elase.
Hechucklesandcont
inueswi
thhusheav
enl
y
t
ortur
e.Thewayhesdoi ngmeist
oogoodtobe
t
rue.
Hi
m:Nowshowmet
hat
sit
smi
ne.
Hef l
ipsusoverandIm ont op.Thankfuck.I
startmov i
nghar
dandf ast,Icanfeelhi
m hitmy
belly.Usingmyhands, Ispreadmyasscheeks
andr i
dehimfordearlif
e.Mycl i
maxcomes
rainingdownonhi m andt hebedandheshoot s
i
nsi deme.Wow!If alldownonhi schest.
Hi
m:I
m notdone.Iwanty
oul
i
mpi
ngt
omor
row.
Yho!Whatf
reshhel
li
sthi
s?
[
10/30,11:
56]Wadz:Tomakeupf
orl
astni
ght
.
Wil
lpostagai
ntoni
ght.
£54
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Mybodyf eel
ssogoodwhenIwakeupi nthe
morni
ngbesideasleepi
ngThando.Heral
arm
goesoffandshegr
oans.
Me:
Wakeupbaby
..
Isaywhi
l
eki
ssi
ngherneckandgent
lybi
ti
ngher
ear.
Her
:No.
..
Shesaysthatsosexy
,itmakesFredstand.
Mmm. .
.may besomemor ni
nggoodnesst o
wakethebothofusupandst ar
tourdayoffon
agoodnote.
Her:No.Nosex
.Ha.
ayouov
erwor
kedmet
his
weekend.
Isul
k
Me:
Hai
bobaby
?Notev
enaqui
cki
e?
Her
:No.Mov
eont
opofme.
Irol
l overandsheget supt ogoshower.When
sheent ersthebathroom,shelocksand
switchesont hewat er
.Heee, i
sshemadatme?
Igetupandmaket hebedt hensi
tandwaitfor
hertofinish.Shedoesandcomesout .She
walkspastmebutIgr abherarm.
Me:
Andt
hen?
Her
:Huh?
Me:
Theat
ti
tude?
Sherol
lsherey
esandpull
sherarmfr
om me
andgoestoherwar
drobe.Whatdi
dIdonow?
Intheshower ,
Imt r
yingtofi
gur
eoutwhatIdid.
IsitcauseIini
ti
atedsex?Mxm howfucken
stupid.I
m gett
ingpissednow.Ist
epoutofthe
showerandbr ushmyt eethwit
hhert
oothbr
ush.
Inthebedr oom I
m get
ti
ngdressedandshes
nowher einsight
.Igototheki
tchenandshes
sti
l
l notthere.Di
dshejustl
eave?Notevena
goodby
e?Ar
gwhatawayt
ost
artmyf
ucken
day.

~Thando~
Im atwor kfeeli
ngnauseousasf uck.WhenI
wenttot hebat hr
oom Ist art
edmyper i
od.
Hencet hemoodswi ngs.Fuck.Im sohungr y
causeIl eftthehousewi thoutfood.Why ?For
somer easonMel i
sizwessmel lmakesmesi ck.
Idontknowwhybutt hemeersi ghtofhim
pissesmeof fandtobehonest ,thatsaddens
me.Ir eallydontknowwhat shappeni ng.May be
i
tsmyper iod.
St
eph:
What
swr
ong?Whyy
oucr
ying?
Iwi
pemyt
ear
sandshakemyhead.
Me:
Not
hingI
mfi
ne.Ar
ethosedocument
sfor
me?
Shel
ooksatmewithsuchpi
tyandhandsme
thef
il
es.It
aket
hem andst
artwor
king.My
t
ummyisgr
owli
ngbutIcantgogetf
ood.Let
mecal
lmyman.
Hi
m:Mv
elaseConst
ruct
ion,
Mel
i
sizweSpeaki
ng?
Me:
Hibaby
.
Hi
m:Hi
.
Me:
Hai
bowhyy
ousocol
dtowar
dsme?
Ist
artcr
ying.Li
ker
eal
l
ycr
ying.
Me:
Itsokaynev
ermi
nd.By
e.
Idr
opt hecal
l
.Whatdi
dIdotohim?Yhomaybe
hesti
redofmeanddoesntwantmeanymor
e?
Jonas:
Thando?Ar
eyouokay
?
Me:
Imf
ine.
Hi
m:Noy
our
enot
.Your
ecr
ying.
Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:
Il
lbef
ine.
Hi
m:Yousur
e?Icanal
way
ssendy
ouhome.
Me:
Noneed.I
llbeokay
.
Iworkthroughoutmydayandf i
nishup.Ive
beennauseoust heentiredayandcr y
ingtoo.
Aft
erwhatseemsl ikeforev
er,Ieventuall
yget
home.Istartcooking,goshowert heneatinf
ri
nt
ofthetv.Meli
sizwehasntcal l
edmeort exted
met hewholeday .Idecidetocallhim
Hi
m:Hey
Thetear
sstar
tagai
n.I
m cr
yingsomuchIcant
evental
k.
Hi
m:What
swr
ong?I
m comi
ngov
er
Me:
Nodont
.Your
ether
easonI
m cr
ying.
Hi
m:Whatdi
dIdo?
Icr
yev enmore.Cl
earl
yhedoesntcar
eabout
meorwhyel sewouldheaskmesuchastupi
d
quest
ion.
Me:Youv
ebeenignor
ingmethewhol
edayand
nowyouwantt
oaskmet hat
?Mxm.Gotohell
.
Idr
opt
hephoneandcr
ysomemor
e.
Im mustv
efall
enasleepcr
yingbecausemy
alar
m goesoff
.Fuckitsmorning.Igetup,make
thebedandgetreadyforwork.Myheadi sso
heavyandImfeeli
ngsoslack.Myphoner ings
anditsQue.
Me:
Hibabe.
Her
:Heyangel
cakes.Openup?
Me:
Huh?
Her
:Opent
hef
ucki
ngdoor
.
Iscream andrunt
ogoopen.Idoandshe
standstherel
ooki
ngabi
utr
eadytopop.
Me:
Hiangel
.Hi
baby
.
Ihugherandki
ssherbi
gbel
l
y.
Que:
Yhu!CantIgi
vebi
rt
hal
ready
?
Me:awshamebabe.I
twi
l
lgetbet
ter
.Sowhat
br
ingsy
ouher
e?
Her
:Icamet
oyourr
escuesi
l
ly.Comel
etsgo
sowecansortoutThembel
ihl
eonceandforal
l
.
Thenmybabycancomef et
chmeandt akeme
home.
Il
aughandgot ot
her oom whil
eshedoes
whateveri
ntheki
tchen.Iwearjeans,heel
sand
ablousewithadi
amondneckl aceandear r
ings.
Itakemyhandbagwi thanavybl azerandwalk
out.
Her
:Shu!Mama.
..l
ooki
ngsodamnsexy
.
Me:
Im nowher
eneary
ou.
Shesweari
nganavydressthathugsherbody
graci
ousl
yandfl
i
pflops.Herhai
rislooseunl
i
ke
minewhichi
sinabun.
Her
:What
swr
ong?Yourey
esar
esopuf
fy.
Me:
Mel
i
sizwe!
Isayr
oll
i
ngmyey
es.
Her
:Whatdi
dhedo?
Thedooropensandhest
epsi
nlooki
ngt
oo
goodi
nanav
ysui
twi
thbr
ownshoesandt
ie.
Hi
m:Heybaby
.
Ir
oll
myey esandIfeelli
kethr
owi
ngup.Yeer
hi
sstench.Whatt
hef uck?
Me: Hi
.Let
sgowena.Bef
oreI
mlat
etowor
k.
Excuseme.
Isaywhil
epassi
nghi
m.Ialmostfuckent
hrow
up.Queburst
soutl
aughi
ng.Iwonderwhatthe
fuckshesl
aughi
ngat

*2mont
hsl
ater
*
~Mel
i
sizwe~
It
sbeentwomont hsandt hingshav enot
changedbetweenThandoandI .Everyt
imeshe
seesmei t
sli
keshewant st ovomitbutsti
ll
wantsustobeinti
mat e.I
m soconf usedasto
whatshappeni
ng.Itr
iedtalkingtomamaand
shesaidshesuspect
sThandospr egnantand
shoul
daskher.Damn!HowdoIgoonabouti t
wi
thoutupset
ti
ngher.Im al
readyi
nthedogbi
n
f
orsomethingbutIdontknowwhat.

~Thando~
Soturnsout,
Simsfat
heri
sinAust
ri
athankst
o
Que.Letmet akey
oubacktot
hedaywe
i
nvesti
gated:
QueandIwal
kedint
oMrJonas'
off
iceandIl
et
Quedothet
alki
ng.
Her
:MrJonas,
QaqambaJubase.
Hi
m:Pl
easedt
omeety
ou.
Her:Li
kewise.I
m awomanofbusi nesssoI
ll
getri
ghttoit
.Somyf r
iendhere,
managedto
obtai
nsomeofy ourDNAf orsometesti
ng.
.
Hi
m:Woahwoahwoah,
what
sthi
sabout
?
Quesi
ghsandr
oll
sherey
es
Her:I
fyouletmef
ini
sh,
youdknow.Andno,i
ts
gotnothi
ngtodowit
hyoutwoalmosthav
ing
sex.Sother
esthisli
tt
legi
rlnamedSimthandi
le,
whosf at
herhappenstobeThembelihl
eJonas.
Anditsnotyoubutwhatbafflesusi
sthatyou
aresomehowr el
atedtoher.
MrJonassit
sther
edumbfoundedl
ooki
ngat
Quel
ikeshesondrugs.
Hi
m:What
?
Quehuf
fsandr
oll
sherey
es.
Her:Doyouhav
eabr
othert
hatwasoncewi
th
Li
hleNqumbo?
Hegasps
Hi
m:Your
eLi
hle'
ssi
ster
?
Inod.
Hi
m:I
m sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss
Inodwhi
l
ewi pingt
ear
saway
.Whyam Icr
ying?
Arghowi
rri
tat
ing.
Que:
So?
Hesi
ghs
Him:Mybr
otherThembaisawayonbusi
nessi
n
Aust
ri
aandwill
onlybebacki
nJuly
.Youcantr
y
hi
m.
Inodandthankhimf orhi
sti
meandl eave.My
hearti
sinpiecesasIcall
Tat'
Sizwetel
l
inghim
thenews.AftermycallMrJonasgiv
esmet he
dayoffandIleavet
ospendt i
mewi t
hQue,
digest
ingt
henews.

Im atthedoctorsoffi
cetodayandi tskakcold.
Juneint heCapeiscoldshame, i
tsev enrai
ning
today.Im her
eatt hedrbecauseI mf eeli
ng
unwell,i
vebeenv omiti
ngsi ncethi
smor ni
ng
andIpassedouti nthebat hroom,soSt eph
broughtmeher e.Im wait
ingonmyr esultsnow.
Hi
m: So,l
ooksast
houghy
our
epr
egnant
.12
weeks.
Igonumb.Stephscreamsandhugsmet i
ght
.I
canthel
pbutcry
!Notagain.Il
etoutabit
ter
wail
,acryt
hatcutsdeeptomysoul and
exposesmypai n.Theresashar
ppaini
nmy
chest,
myv isi
onisblurri
ngandmyhead
thr
obbing.Thedarknesscomescreepi
ngi
nand
consumesme, bodyandmind.
[
10/
30,
11:
56]Wadz
:£55
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Im speedinglikeamadmant ot hehospi t
al.I
wasj ustcall
edbyt hehospi t
al,appar entlyshes
l
istedmeasheremer gencycont act.How
sweetofher .Iev entuall
yarri
v eandr uninside
tother ecepti
onar eaandaskf orher.They
dir
ectmet othemat erni
tywar d.Mat er
nity?Why
mat erni
ty?Irunther eandt hereshei shooked
onmachi nesandt herear e3hear t
beat s.Woah!
Noway !Shesl ay
ingt herecryingandt hedri s
begginghert ocal m down.Ir ushov ert oher
andhol dher.
Dr
:ThankGoodnessy
ou'
vear
ri
ved.
Me:
What
shappened?
Dr
: Shej
ustwokeupnow.Shehadaheart
at
tackduetostr
ess.Mi
ssyoumustcal
m down.
Thandonodsonmychest.Ir
ubherbackgent
ly
andkissherf
orehead.
Dr
:Butt
hegoodnewsi
sthatt
het
winsar
e
st
abl
e.
Ilookathim dumbf ounded.Twi
ns?What?My
faceignit
esi nt
oamassi vesmil
eacrossmy
face.Im havingtwi
ns.Icanalmostj
umpoutof
myski n.Ithankthedrandhecongratul
atesme
thenleaves.
Her
:Dont
.Pl
ease.
Me:
Dontwhat
?
Her
:Getexci
tedandt
hankme.Pl
ease.
Me:
What
swr
ong?Babyar
enty
ouexci
ted?
Shel
ooksatmewi
tht
earst
ainedey
es.
Her:
Real
lyMel
isi
zwe?I
v eal
readyl
ost2ofour
ki
ds.HowcanIbeexci
ted?
Me:Babypl
easedontdothistoyourself
.Pl
ease.
I
m heref
oryouwhateverhappens.Pleasemy
l
ove.
Isaykissi
ngherforehead.Tearsf
alldownmy
cheeksasIthi
nkofal lt
hatwe'vebeendepri
ved
of.I
m notamanofpr ayerbutIpr
aythatt
hese
twomakei tt
hrough.
Me:Babywe'
ll
befine.We'
l
lmakei
tthr
ough.
Theki
dswil
lbefi
ne.
Her
:How?Howsur
ear
eyouoft
his?
Me: I
m notbutIhavefai
th.Inyou,i
nus.Okay
?
Letmewor ryandyoushoul denj
oyour
pregnancy
.Okay?Im beggingyou
Shenodsandkissesmesodeepl
y.Shepull
s
awayandlooksmei nt
heey
eswhilel
icki
ngher
l
ips.
Her
:Im sor
ry.
Me:
For
?
Her
:tr
eat
ingy
oul
i
keshi
tov
ert
hepastf
ew
mont
hs.
Me:
Itsokay
.ButdoIst
il
lsmel
ltoy
ou?
Sheshakesherheadno.
Her
:No.Notany
mor
e.
Shegi
gglesandsodoI.I
m soel
atedwi
tht
hese
newsIcouldscr
eam.

~Thando~
I
m stil
lint
hehospi
talwithMeli
sizwehov eri
ng
overme.Hesbeensosuppot i
veev ersincehe
foundout,l
i
keanhourago.Hescal led
Thandiswaonmybehal fandt
oldhert he
goodnewsashecallsthem
Me: Dontcal
lanyoneel
se.Pleasebaby.I
ve
disappoi
ntedevery
onealr
eady,let
sjust
surpri
sethem wit
hthebabiesokay?
Hesi
ghs
Hi
m:Momsnotgoi
ngt
obehappy
.
Me: Please.Iwontbeabl
etohandl eev er
yone
hoveringallovermeandfussing.Pleasemy
angel.Mybabydaddy .Myvirginbreaker.
Heburst
soutl
aughi
ngandki
ssesmewhi
l
e
l
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:Okay
.Needany
thi
ng?
Me:
Uhm.
..f
ood.Ihav
enteat
ent
oday
.
Thedrwalksinandtel
l
smeIcangohomebutI
needtocomebackonMondaysi nceit
sFriday
formorescansandwhatnot
.Inodandhe
l
eavesaft
erMelisi
zwessi
gnedthedischar
ge
paper
s.
Me:
Youl
ooksogoodbaby
.
Heblushesandhel psmegetdr essed.Whil
e
hesbusyhel ping,mycli
tisthrobbi
ngf orhi
m.
I
m wet ,dr
ipping.Ineedhim now.Ineedt ofeel
hi
mi nsideme.Hel ooksatmewi ththose
beauti
fulhazel ey
esofhis.
Hi
m:What
?
Ibi
temyl
i
pandcl
osemyl
egs.
Me:Ineedy
oui
nsi
deofme.Wel
laf
terIeat
f
ood.
Hel
aughs.
Hi
m:Let
sgo.
Me:
Cany
oupi
ggybackme?
Helaughsandt
urnsandbends.Ismackhi
s
bum andheyel
ps
Hi
m:Ha.
ake!Yazbo?
(yousee)
Il
aughandheturnsagainandIcli
mbon.Wego
outoft
hehospi
talwithpeoplegi
vi
ngussev
eral
star
esandsomeev engiggl
ing.

Icum andf
all
ont
hebed.YhoI
mti
red.
Me:IknowIsai
dIwashungr
yfory
ou,
but
damn.Giv
emykitt
ysomerest
.
Hel
aughsandsl
i
desoutofme.
Hi
m:I
sthaty
ourwayofsay
ingy
ousat
isf
ied?
Me:
Fornow,
yes.
Hel
aughs
Hi
m:Eyy
ougoi
ngt
oki
l
lme.I
m anoupakal
oku.
Il
aughandr
oll
oversohecanl
aybesi
deme.
Me:
Iguessy
ou'
l
lneedt
ost
ockupont
hepi
l
l
Webot
hlaughandhel
ayshi
shandonmybel
l
y.
Hi
m:I
m soexci
tedbaby
.Thanky
ou.
Me:Nothankyou.
.any
way
,whatwoul
dyoul
i
ke?
Gi
rl
sorboys?
Hi
m:Doesntmat
ter
.Longast
hey
'r
eheal
thyand
l
ookl
i
key ou.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Me?Whyme?
Him:Causet
henthey
'l
lbebeaut
if
ulwi
thgood
hear
tsandsmart
.
Me:
Hai
bo!Buty
our
ebeaut
if
ult
ooandsmar
t?
Hi
m:No.Notl
i
key
ou.
Me: Ncaw.Thanky
ou.Butifi
tsboys,Ihope
theygrowtohaveyourv
oice.I
tssexyand
authorat
ati
ve.
Hel
aughswi
tht
hatdeepl
aughofhi
s.
Hi
m:Ohy ouandmyvoi
ce.I
sthatal
lyoul
i
ke
f
rom me?Mypeni
sandmyv oi
ce?
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
No.
Hesi
tsupandl
ooksatme,
deepi
ntheey
e.
Hi
m:Whydoy
oul
i
kemet
hen?
Me:wel
l
,because.
..ei
sh.
..babyy
ouput
ti
ngme
ont
hespot.
Isayhi
dingmyf
aceonhi
schest
.Hechuckl
es.
Me:
Lookawayke.
Hegi
ggl
esandhedoes.
Me:
okay
,
Icl
osemyey
esandl
ayonhi
schest
.
Me: Il
ov ehowy ousmi l
ewhensomet hing
warmsy ourhear t,
howy ourey esspar klewhen
youhappy ,
howsof ty ourbear di swheny outrai
l
ki
ssesal lov ermybody ,howy oucar essmy
bodyandhol ditasi fitsfragile,howmuchy ou
showy ourl oveandcar etowar dsme, howy ou
fi
ghtforsomet hingy ouwantev eni fthewor ld
i
sagainsti t,howgoodaf at hery ouar et oli
ttl
e
Ahlumile,howsexyy ougr oanwhenIni bble
youreari nthemor ning,Il
ov ethewayy our
bodyfeel sonmi ne, Ilovey ourl aughi tsdeep
andittouchesev erypar tofmysoul butmost ly,
Iloveyouf orallyouar eandwi lleverbe.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
ThenextmorningIm sohappyIdontknow
whattodowithmy self
.Imlay
ingbesi
de
Thandowhossof t
lysnori
ngonmychest .I
ti
ghtenmygr
ipar oundherbodyandinhaleher
i
ntoxingsmel l
.Fredi
supandr eadyforacti
on.
Ifonl
ymybeaut i
full
ovecanwakeupsoIcan
l
ov eherharderthanbefor
e.Thewayshe
procl
aimedherl ovetomel astnightmakesme
gri
nlikeafool.AndhereIwasdoubt i
ngherlove
forme.Im starti
ngtofeelbadfordoubtingher
.
Ishouldreal
lyletgooftheJonasi nci
dent
becauseIvedonewaywor setoher .
Her
:Baby
..
.
Me:
Mmm?
Her
:Ineedt
opee.
Oh.HerandIareentangledsoIneedtomove
mylegsandarms, Idoandshewal kst
othe
bat
hroom,buttnaked.Yhoisitmeordidher
bum getbi
gger?Sheflushesandcomesout.
Her
:Wanaj
oinme?
Ismi
l
eandgot
othebat
hroom wi
thher
.
Wespendthedaymakinglazyl
oveandeati
ng
al
lsor
tsi
fjunk.Wel
lshedoes.Icanti
t'
l
lmess
upmyeati
ngschedul
e.I
m backatthegy
m and
Ineedt
okeepfi
tandheal
thyatal
lti
mes.
Her
:Youknowt
hef
ir
stt
imeImety
ou.
.
Shegi
ggl
esandIcanthel
pbutsmi
l
e.
Me:
What
?
Her:It
houghtt
omy
sel
f,Ibethet
ast
esl
i
ke
chocol
ate.
Il
augh.Whot
hinksofsuch?
Me:
And?DoI
?
Shegiggl
esandnods.Haibo?Icanthel
pbut
l
aughwi t
hher.Il
oveitwhenshesinagood
mood.Justthenshestops,
looksatmewi t
h
wideeyesandrunstothebathr
oom.Ifollow
behi
ndherandshesbentov ert
hetoil
et.Aaaw!
Mypoorbaby .
Me:
Ohnanawam
Shegivesmeadeathstareandgoesoverto
thesi
nktobrushhert
eeth.I
mj ustst
andi
ngat
thedoorlooki
ngather
,shesgl
owi
ng.How
beauti
ful
.

Myphoner
ingsasI
m aboutt
odr
if
tof
fandi
ts
mama
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Her:
Comet
othehospi
tal
.Suzi
saboutt
ogi
ve
bi
rt
h.
Thenshehangsup.Thandosphoner
ingst
oo.
Her
:Hel
l
o?
.
..
.
Her
:Now?Wher
ear
eyou?
.
..
.
Her
:OkayI
m comi
ng.
Shehangsup.
Me:
Suzi
?
Sheshakesherheadno.
Her
:Qamba.Ineedt
obet
her
e.
Me:
Your
enotdr
ivi
ngt
oPE.
Her
:No.Shesher
eintheCape.GotoSuzi
.She
r
eal
lyneedsyout
her
e.Il
lcomeinthemorni
ng.
Webothgetupandgetchanged.Werush
downst
air
sandIgi
veheralongkissbefor
eI
l
eave.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oomuch.Dr
ivecar
eful
l
yokay
?
Her
:Yout
oobaby
.Iwi
l
l.Il
ovey
out
oo.
Sheki
ssesmeagai
nandwegeti
noursepar
ate
car
sanddri
veof
f.
Igettot
hehospi
tal
andf
indmyf
ami
l
yther
e.
Waiti
ng.
Me:
Hey
.
Theyl
ookatmeandgr
eet
.
Langa:
Wher
esThando?
Me:Shesatanot
herhospi
tal
.Herf
ri
endsal
so
gi
vi
ngbirt
h..
HenodsandIt
akeoutmyphoneandcal
lher
.
Her
:Myl
ove.
Me:
Hey
,yout
her
eyet
?
Her
:Iam.I
mtur
ningi
nand.
..
IhearascreechandThandoscr
eami
ng.Then
theli
negoesdead.
[
10/
30,
11:
57]Wadz
:£56
~Thando~
"MOTHERFUCKER"i sallIcansayi nt his
situat
ion.Yho.Howr eckl
esscanpeopl ebe.Nx.
Sot hi
smancomesspeedi ng,thelightturnsred
andhescr eecheshi scartoahal t,crashinginto
thecarnextt omi ne.Tal kaboutr ecklessdrivi
ng.
Itsnotbadbuti twi ll
causet raffi
c.Fuck!Ical l
anambul anceonmywayt othehospi t
al.Iget
thereandIgi vedet ai
lsoft heaccident .Assoon
asIent eet hehospitalIaskf orQambaandI m
takent othemat ernityward.Igett hereand
sheseat i
ngi ce.Hehake!
Me:
Hey
..
.
Her
:Hi
.What
swr
ong?
Me:
Almosti
nanacci
dent
.
Her
:Youokay
?..
.aaaaah.
..Sanel
eeeee!
Hecomesoutoft
hebat
hroom andgoesov
er
t
oher.
Hi
m:Hi
Me:Mol oBhut
i.I
mfinebabe.Justal
i
ttl
e
spooked.Whatsupwit
hy ou?
Her:
Contract
ions.Theysai
dIm onl
y4cm.
Yhootshomyt hi
sshiti
spai
nful
.
Me:
Im sor
rybooboo.
Isaykissingherall
ov erherf
aceandhuggi
ng
her,makinghergiggle,muchtoSanel
es
surpri
sewhosf rowningatme.
Hi
m:Thando,
yourpant
s.
Il
ookatmyself
.OhGodIpeedmy
sel
f.How
humi
li
ati
ng.Tearsj
ustf
low.
Sanel
e:No,
Idi
dntmeani
tli
ket
hat
.
Hel
ookssogui
l
ty
Que:
Your
esoinsensi
ti
veSanel
e.Shewas
al
mosti
nanaccident
.BabeI
m sorr
y,cal
lMel
i
.
Inodandwal
kout
.Anddi
alMel
i
Hi
m:Thando!Babywhereareyou?Areyouokay
?
Whyarenty
ouansweri
ngy ourphone?I
m
al
mostonmyway ,whathospit
al?
Igi
ggl
e.
Me:BabyImfi
ne.I
llexpl
ainwheny
oucome
ov
er.Butuhm,Mel
i
Hi
m:Mnt
wam?
OhhowIbl
ushwhenhesay
sthat
.
Me:Pl
easebr
ingmepant
sandf
reshunder
wear
.
HowsSuzi
?
Hi
m: Bytheti
meIgotthere,
she'dal
readygiven
bi
rt
h.Isawthebabyandtoldheraboutearl
ier.
Myfam issoworr
iedaboutyou.ButI
llcal
lthem
whenIgett
oyoufi
rst
.Im sogl
ady
oucal
l
ed,
Im
st
art
ingtol
osemymind.
Me:I
m sorrymybaby.Br
ingfoodwi
thy
ouas
wel
l
,Im hungr
y.Pl
easehurr
y.
Im get
ti
ngsoemoti
onal
.It
ell
himthehospi
tal
andhangup.Quescr
eamsagainandIgo
rushi
ngin.
Her
:Baby
..
.ooow!
..
.nomor
e..
..pl
ease.
..
.San.
..
.
Shelookspai
nedandi
ssqueazi
ngSanel
efor
dearli
fe.

I
mi nMel i
sizwesarmsandhiski
ssi
ngmef
or
dearl
ife.Whenhepullsawaywe'
rebot
h
breat
hlessandIgiggl
e
Me:
Someonemi
ssedme.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ousomuch,
dontev
erdi
eonme.
Il
augh,
hessoser
ious.
Me:
Il
ltr
y.Di
dyoubr
ingt
hepant
s?
Hehandsmethepant
sandunder
wear,
brand
new.Theyl
ookl
i
kethesear
eformen
Me:
Wher
edi
dyougett
hese?
Hi
m:Al
way
sinmycar
.
Me:
Why
?
Hesmi
l
es
Hi
m:I
llt
ell
yousomeot
hert
ime.
IgointoQuesbat hroom, shesnappingonthe
bedwithSanele,guesst hecontract
ionshave
dieddownabi t.Igeti n,usehertoil
etr
iesand
change.Ifi
ndcal cuim andpr egnancypil
lsi
nher
bag.Itakethecal cuim andwal kout.
Hi
m:HowsQue?
Me:
Nappi
ngt
hebabyi
snther
eyet
.
Hi
m:Oh!
Hel
ayshi
shandonmybel
l
yandhandsme
f
ood.I
tsmel
l
ssoyummy.
Me:
Smel
l
sdi
vi
ne.
Hesmi l
esatmeandpecksmyl i
psrepeatedly
.
Hel ookssosad.Iguesshesmor efri
ght
ened
thanIthoughthe'dbe.Ishouldlethi
m be.He
takeshisphoneoutandhecal l
shisfamil
y
tell
i
ngt hem Imf i
neandIll
seethem tomor r
ow.I
kisshim ashet al
ksandhechuckl esandsmi l
es.
Muchbet t
er.Iseenursesrunni
ngintoQues
room.Iguessi tstime.
Me:
Wanacome?
Heshakeshi
sheadnoandIgoi
n.

Aft
ermuchpushingandcry
ing,
theresasoftcr
y.
I
tsagirl
.Iminl
ovewithher
.Theytakeherand
putheronhermomschest.
Que:
Thando,
wil
lyou?
Ilookatthem andSanelehandsmet he
scissor
s.Iblushandcuttheambil
icalcor
d.Aw!
Myf ri
endthough.Im gi
ggl
ingli
kecrazyandhug
them both.
Me:
Yout
woar
esosneaky
.Congr
atst
hough.
Que:Thanky
ou.Hopef
ull
yIl
lbeher
efory
our
t
ime.Whichi
ssoon.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Itwi
l
l.
Her
:Youknow?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her:I
vebeensuspect
ingeversi
ncethatday
andIdidntwantt
obri
ngitupincaseIwas
wrong.
Ismi
l
eandnod.Shegi
ggl
es,
webot
hdo.
Me:Ha.ai
tsy
ourday
.Wecel
ebr
ati
ngy
ourbaby
.
Ourbaby.
Sanel
ecomesbackholdingher,whendidhego?
Helookssocutewit
hhisbaby.ItakeQues
cameraandcaptur
ethem t
ogether.
Me:
Name?
Sanel
e:Thandol
wet
hu
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
BabyThando.Beaut
if
ull
i
keheraunt
.
Sanel
elaughsandsodoesQue.Hehandst he
babyovertoQue,thenursecomesinand
showsherhowt obreastf
eed.BabyTlat
ches
onquickl
yandIjustwatchinaweasshe
suckl
eshermother.Quef l
i
nches.
Me:
Sor
e?
ShenodsandIki
ssherforehead.Ther
esa
fl
ashandwhenIlookup,Meli
sizweissmi
l
ing
nextt
oSanel
e.Theyfi
stbumpandhug.Aw!
Hi
m:Congr
atsnewmommy
.
Quegi ggles.BabyTf all
sasleepandIkissher
forehead.Thenur secomesi nandQueasksher
totakeapi cofusal together
.Melicomesand
standsbehi ndme, snakinghisar
m aroundmy
wai standwesmi leforthecamer a.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Im bey
ondex haust
ed.Whatat ur
nofevent
sits
been.I
tsearl
ySundaymor ningandI
m drai
ned.
Thestressoflosi
ngThandohasgotmei na
sombermood.Wei ntheki
tchenhav
ing
breakf
astmadebyy ourstr
uell
y.
Her
:Mybaby
?
Shecomesandst
andsbet
weenmyl
egs.
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:Im okay
.St
opwor
ryi
ngpl
ease?
Me:
Il
ltr
y.Butnopr
omi
ses.
Her:
Thatsal
lIask.Comel
etsgo.Wehav
etwo
babi
estogif
t.
Inodandstand.Shegr
absmybum andIj
ump.
Shelaughssohard.
Me:
Hai
bo!What
supwi
thy
ouandmybum?
Her
:What
supwi
thy
ouandMYbum?
Me:Noy oudonthav
eabum.YougotAssbabe.
Forday
s.
Shel
aughsandwal
ksaway
.
Weinthebedroom,we'r
eget
ti
ngdr
essedand
I
m cr
avingforherbody
.
Me:
Thando?
Her
:Hmm?
Shesay
swhi
l
efaci
ngt
heot
herway
.
Me:
Ndi
cel
undi
phe(
CanIpl
easehav
e).
Sheturnst
ome,
conf
usi
onwr
it
tenal
lov
erher
face.
Her
:Int
oni
(what
)?
Me:
Impundu(
someass)
.
Shel
aughssohar
d.Iendupl
aughi
ngt
oo.But
I
m damnhornyf
orher.
Her
:Andi
funi
(Idontwantt
o).
Me:
Ndi
yakcel
ator
ho(
Im beggi
ngy
ou)
.
Shel
ooksatmeandbi
tesherbot
tom l
i
p.
Her
:Zoy
ithat
ha(
comegeti
t)
.
Noneedt
osaymore,
becauseweal
lknow
what
sgoi
ngdown.

We'reatthehospi
tal
wit
hSuzi.Thandohas
broughtSuziagoodi
ebasket
,withal
lsort
sof
babygoodsandmommyst uf
f.It
sblueforaboy
.
Suzi
:Heyheyhey
!
Thando:
Babyf
ace.Aaaawhessocut
e.He
l
ookssomuchli
keyou.Beaut
if
ul.
Suzi
:Nhe?I
vebeent
ell
i
ngt
hem.
.
Theboyf
ri
endwal
ksin.Iwanttopunchhi
m so
har
d,howcoul
dhe?Suzi smi
leswhenshesees
hi
m andIwal
kout.Thandofoll
owsaft
eral
itt
le
whil
e.
Her
:Andt
hen?
Me:
Justdontl
i
kehi
m
Her
:Why
?
Me:
Hegotherpr
egnant
.Outofwedl
ock.He
di
dntev
enpayf
ordamages
Shel
aughs
Her
:Somehy
pocr
it
eyouar
e.
Il
ookather
,shocked.
Her:HereIam, knockedupandy oudi dntev en
payformydamages.At l
easthest heret hrough
i
tall
.Sogi v
et hepoorki dabr eakbefor ehe
l
eavesSuzi becauseofy ourshi t
.Youandy our
brot
hersmakemesi ck.Howl ongar ey ougoi ng
tomakeSuzi suffer
?Canty oubehappyf orher?
Letherbehappyf oronce?Wat chherbl ossom
underAlex'
slove?Honest ly
.Noneofy ouar e
perf
ectbutaresohar shonpoorSuzi .Fuckman.
Youdontknowhowmuchshecr i
edthr oughout
thi
spregnancy ,
askingwhyy oudontl ov eher
enoughtobehappyf orher?Ser i
ously !
Wi t
hthatsaidshestor
msof f
.Leav
ingme
shocked.Iturnandmybrother
sarealso
standi
ngthere,j
ustasshockedasIam.Okay
.
Them:
What
sthatabout
?
Me:
AlexandSuzi
.

We'
rei
nSuzi
sroom t
alki
ngt
oher
.
Langa:
Suzi
,mnt
ase.
Shel
ooksathi
m
Him: I
m sorryforevery
thing.Thepainandthe
stressweputy ouandAl exthrough.Weonly
gi
v ehim ahardtimebecausewedontwanthi m
breakingyourheart
.Wej ustwanthimt obethe
bestforyouandl it
tleDav e.
Her:Butheist
hebest.Hereal
lycaresforme
andDav i
dandalwaysther
ewhenweneedhi m.
Andifyouguysdontopenuptohim, he'l
lsoon
runawayf r
om us.Socanyouall
juststop?
Wenod.Im si
tt
ingherponderi
ngwhatThando
sai
d.Tat
awalksinnomamaandaskst oseeus.
Wegooutandst andaround.
Hi
m: Soil
etai
fi
ki
lekaSuzi
(Al
ett
erf
orsuzi
has
ar
ri
ved).
Langa:
He?Al
exwant
stomar
rySuzi
?
Dadnods.Hee!Wow.

Kamv adropsmeof fatThandosf

latandIgoup.
Iopenthedoorandgoi n.AssoonasIent er
,
shejumpsonme, takingmebysurprise.ButI
qui
cklyrecoverandcat chher.
Her
:Im sor
rybabe.Idi
dntmeanwhatIsai
d.
Me:
Youwer
eri
ght
.
Her
:Sti
l
l.Idi
srespect
edy
ouandy
ourf
ami
l
yand
I
m sor
ry.
Sheki
ssesmesogreedi
l
y.Pul
li
ngmybody
cl
osert
ohersandl
i
fti
ngthehem ofmyshi
rt
.I
pul
laway.
Her
:Pl
ease,
Ineedy
ounow.Feel
Shet
akesmyhandandput
situphershor
tski
rt
,
shesni
tweari
nganyunder
wearandhernooki
e
i
swet,dri
ppi
ng.
Me:
Forme?
Shenodsandt
akesmypant
sof
f.
Her
:Pleasedontbegent
le.Makemescr
eam
f
oryou.
Ismirkandsli
pmyf i
nger
sinsi
deofher
.She
archesherbackandmoans..
.
[
10/
30,
11:
57]Wadz
:£56
~Mel
i
sizwe~
It
sear lyMondaymor ni
ngandi tsraini
ngcat s
anddogs.I mi ntheshowerpr eparingtogot o
wor kandThandossl eeping.Shesbeenbooked
offunt i
lWednesdaybecauseshehast ogot o
thedrandmi ghtbehospitali
sed.Im petr
if
ied
forherandmyki ds.Speakingofkids,Ihavent
seenmydaught erinaweek.I l
lgoseehert hi
s
afternoon.Istepoutandgot ot hebedroom and
getdr essed.
Her
:Mor
ningbaby
.
It
urnandf
indhersmi
l
ingatme
Me:
Hihun.
Shegoestothebathroom qui
ckl
yancomesout
asImtucki
nginmyshi rt
.Shemov escl
oserand
ki
ssesme.Herhandmaki ngitswaydowninto
mypantsandgrabbingFred.
Ipul
lawayandl
i
ght
lypushher
.
Me:
Icantbaby
,Iml
ate.
Her
:Pl
easebaby
.Justaqui
ckone.
Iki
ssher
Me:
Aft
ermymeet
ingIpr
omi
se.
Tear
swel
lupi
nherey
es.
Her:Pl
easeBhut
iIneedtofeel
you.Ev
eni
fI
dontcum.Justf
eelyourwarmt
h.
Tearsfal
ldownherbeaut
if
ulf
ace.Ohy hi
ni
bethunaumntwam!Iunzi
pmypant sandshe
gi
ggleswithdel
i
ght.Shemustreal
l
ywantit,
for
hertocr
yandgetexci
tedforFr
ed.AssoonasI
pul
l mypant
sdown,shegoesonherkneesand
putsmeinherwar
m mouth.Fuck.
..

Ihav
emi
ssedcal
l
sfr
om Johnmyassi
stant
.
Me:
John?
Him:Sir
, t
hemeet
inghasbeenpost
ponedt
o10
hereattheof
fi
ce.
Me:
Im onmyway
.
Igetupanduntangl
emy sel
ffr
om Thando.Af
ter
Im dr
essed,
Igentl
yshakeher.
Me:
Baby
..
.
Her
:Hmm?
Me:
Whatt
imesi
stheappoi
ntment
?
Her
:12
Me:
Okay
.Il
lmeety
out
her
enhe?
Her
:Okay
.
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Her
:mmm.
.
Shessoundasl
eep.Iki
sshercheekandl
eav
e.
Themeet
ingi
sadr
agandbef
oreIknowi
t,i
ts
al
most12
Me: Gentl
eman,I
llhav
et ocat
chupwithyou
l
ater.Ihavesomewheretobe.Johnwi
ll
reschedul
eyouandwe' l
lpi
ckupwhereweleft
off.
Ishaketheirhandsandwalkout.I
m ki ndof
rushi
ngtot hegnaesoffi
cestomeetupwi th
Thando.Igetthereandwalktother ecept
ionist
andaskf orher.Appar
entl
yshesalreadyin.
Fuck.Ist
epi nandshesseatedwitht hedr.
Hi
m:MrMv
elase.
Thandoj
ustl
ooksatmeandmout
hsanI
m
sorr
y.Mxm
Wemov etothebedandscanfi
rmykids.As
soonasIseethem myangermel
tsawayandis
repl
acedbyjoy
.Thedrisfrowni
ngandmov i
ng
thescanthi
ngaround.Hegaspsandshakeshi
s
head.
Hi
m:Uhm.
..Mi
ssNqumbo,
arey
ouonmedi
cal
ai
d?
Sheshakesherheadno.
Me:
Ist
her
eapr
obl
em?
Henods.
Hi
m: Look,
thet
wi nsareshari
ngthesame
wombandambi l
icalcord.I
tsver
yrareanditi
s
ahugehealt
hri
skf orbothmotherandfet
ii
.
Thandogaspsandti
ghtenshergr
iparoundmy
hand.Myheartsi
nksandItr
ymyl ev
elbestt
o
actstr
ong.

~Thando~
MaybeI
m notdesti
nedtohav
echildr
en.I
fits
notmel
osingthem,it
scompli
cat
ions.MaybeI
shouldgivet hem upandmov eonwi thmyl i
fe
withoutkidsorMel isizwebymysi de.We' r
e
backhomeandI mj ustcur ledupi nbed, tr
ying
mybestnott ocr
ybecausei twillupsett he
babiesmor e.Meli
sizwei snother e, hesgone
somewher eandIm al lalone.If eelsol onelyand
cold.Itakemyphoneandpl ayBuy elaKum by
AmandaBl ack.Thet ear sjustflowf rom my
eyesasIt hinkaboutmyl i
feandl ov ewi th
Mel i
sizwe.Thesamet hought sast heonesI
hadwhenIwasmar riedt ohi m keepcomi ng
backt omi nd,wil
lhebeher ewheni needhi m
most ?BecauseI mv ulnerablerightnowand
wher eishe?Di dher eallylov emeorwashe
i
nfatuatedwi thme?If eelhisar m snakear ound
mybodyandpul lmet ohim
Hi
m:We'
l
lbef
ine.I
m her
ethewhol
eway
.
Me:
Wher
ewer
eyou?
Hi
m: Justwentt
otakecar
eofsomet
hings.But
I
m herenow.
Ij
ustsighandr
emov ehi
shandfrom mi
neand
getup.WhenIl
ookaround,
ther
earecandl
esli
t
i
nthebedroom andsomesoftmusicpl
ayi
ng.
Me:
What
sthi
s?
Hi
m:Somer
elaxat
ionf
ormywi
fey
.
I
m shocked.Awed.Baf
fel
l
ed.Butmost
ly,
happy
.

Melisi
zwei
srubbi
ngmyf eetandImustt el
lyou
i
tssoheavenl
y.I
vebeenlett
ingsoftmoans
escapemyli
psbecauseofthepleasur
ehes
giv
ingme.Thi
shasgottobet hebestfoot
massageinworl
dhist
ory
.
Hi
m:Babyst
op.
Me:
Buti
tssogood.
Hi
m:Buty
ougi
vi
ngFr
edsomeexci
tement
.
IopenmyeyesandIfi
ndhim hardasstone.
Damn.Mymout hj
ustdr
oolsatthesightofi
t.I
getupandst
raddl
ehim.I
m alreadywetfrom
theshowerearl
i
erandthepleasurefrom t
he
footmassagealsocont
ri
buted.Im nakedand
soishe,soitwontbeahassle.Isl
owl ysl
i
de
himin.
Me:
Oh.
..wow.
..baby
..
.
Isl
owlysl
i
deup.Whatt
hefuck?It
sli
kehis
peni
shasgrowni
nwidt
h.I
tsalit
tl
epainf
ul.
Hi
m:Andnow?
Hiseyesar
ebloodshotr
edandthevei
nsonhi
s
for
eheadarepoppi
ngout.Yhosomeonei
s
hungr
yforme.
Me:
Youv
egr
ownl
argery
ho.
Hechucklesandpl
aceshi
sfi
nger
sonmy
nunubud.Hemoanswhenhefeel
sme
Hi
m:I
tssoswol
l
enandj
uicy
.Damn.
Helift
smywai standsli
deshi
mselfinme.It
s
sosorebutIll
endurethepai
nforhim.Iri
se
agai
nandsl owlycomedownonhi m.Okay,I
m
gett
ingthehangofthi
s.Imovefasterand
f
aster,
panti
ngandgr oani
ngashemoanson
myneck.Thissendsmeov ert
heedgeandI
l
oudlycomeonhi m andfl
exmyhipsashe
f
oll
owsafter.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
*
3mont
hsl
ater
*
Sigh.Wher edoIbegi n?Thi spregnancyhasgot
mebyt heballs.Thandoi sforeverhornybutIve
gotthest aminat okeepupsoI m not
compl aini
ng.ButI m scaredforherandmyki ds
asshesconst antl
yinandoutofhospi tal
.It
s
quitescary.Thandoev enhadt oquitatwork
becauseoft het wins.Wedontknowt hegender.
Thandowant sittobeasur pri
se.Shesalway s
atmyhouse.Yepwemov edintogetherandi t
s
sobl i
ss.Todaywe' regoi ngtothecour t
house.
Weget ti
nglegall
ymar riedagain,thenwe'l
lhav e
thecer emonyl at
er.
Thando:
Yho!I
tssohot
.Dowehav
etogot
oday
?
Me:
Pleasebaby
.It
'l
lbequi
ck.
Shegrunt
sandputsonawhi
tedr
ess.I
tsknee-
l
engthandfl
owy.
Her
:Baby
?
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:Wi
l
lyoupl
easet
iemyshoes?
Ismileandbendov erandt iehershoes.Idont
knowwhysheswear inghighheel s.But
nonethelessshel ooksr adiant,
magni fi
cent.
Shesqui tesmal lf
orapr egnantwoman.I
wonderwhatmom wi ll
saywhensheseesher .
Andtoanswery ourquestion,nowest i
llhav
ent
tol
dmyf amily.We'v ebeenducki nganddi vi
ng.
Ahlumile?Sigh.Yonel atookherwi t
htoLondon.
Iwassobr okenwhent heyl ef
tbutIsky peher
every
dayandsodoesThando.Shecal l
s
Thando, Lovely.It
ssocut e.
Thando:
Baby
?Hel
l
o?
Ismi
l
eandt
urnmyat
tent
iont
oher
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:Let
sgoi
n.Wher
ewer
eyounow?
Me:
Thi
nki
ngaboutwhatwear
eaboutt
odo.

Judge:Bythepowervest
edinmybythecourt
oflaw,Ipr
onounceyouhusbandandwi
fe.You
maykissyourbri
de.
Ipullheri
nandgi v
eherahel lofasmooch.She
gigglesandpullsaway .Shesosneaky ,she
boughtmeani ceblackandsilverbandandI
boughtheraemer aldstonewithasilverband.
Ithasmyi ni
ti
alsenscr i
bedinthem justli
ke
mi nehashers.Itsverybeauti
ful
.
Athome, Iknockonthedoorandopen.Mom i
s
singi
nginthekit
chenandsoisdad.Theyar
e
veryhar
monoust ogether
,Imustadmit
.
Me:
Hel
l
ohel
l
o?
Theybotht
urnandmom scr
eamsf
orj
oywhen
sheseesThando.
Her
:Kany
isa!Awusemhl
e.
Shegiv
esherahugehuganddadshakesmy
hand.
Mama:
Yhubet
huna!
Thandogi
ggl
esasmom r
ubsherbel
l
y.
Mama: Howf
aral
ongar
eyou?Comehav
ea
seatl
etmepampery
ou.
Thandogi
ggl
es
Her
:Im si
xmont
hsal
ong.
Mama:Yhuuyoutwoar
esosneaky
.Whywere
youhi
dingf
rom me?Di
dIdosomethi
ngwr
ong?
Thandoshakesherheadandcr
ies.
Her:Iwantedtobeatleastinmy3rdt
ri
mester
beforeIt
oldanyone.Ididntwantt
odi
sappoint
youagain.
Mamawi peshertear
sandThandos.She
shakesherheadandsqueezeshand,
butthen
noti
cestheri
ngandkeepsquiet
.
Her
:Youguy
sgothi
tched?
Inodsmi
l
ing.
Thando: Buti
tsj
ustsotheki
dscanbei
n
Melisizwesname.Butt
heweddingwe'
l
lpl
an
together.
Mamasmi l
esandcr
iesonThandosshoul
der
.
Theywal
kofftot
heroom chat
ti
ng.
Me:
wher
ear
ethegi
rl
s?
Tat
a:Suzi
andAl
ex'
s.
Me:
Oh.Theyl
i
vingt
oget
hernow?
Tat
anodsandshr
ugs.Si
gh.

Weseatedatthedinnertableandevery
onei
s
her
e.Seemsast houghthingsaretense
bet
weentheladi
es.Iwonder .
Si
phenat
hi:
Youl
ooksobeaut
if
ul.
Thandojustlooksatherandj
ustnods.Yep,
defi
nat
elytension.
Ol
wet
hu:
What
swr
ongThando?
Thandojustshakesherheadandl
aughs,
sar
casti
call
y.
Thando:Wow!Yaz iy
ouar eallunbelievable.
WhenIalmostdi ed,noneofy oucamet ocheck
uponmebuty etyoupr omisedmet hatIcan
alwayscountony ou.WhenMel i
sizweandI
brokeup,noneofy oubotheredt oaskhowI
wasdoing.WhenIhadt womi scarriages, none
ofyouevensenty ourcondolences.Buther e
youaretryi
ngtoplaychomi -chomi ?Psht .Dont
fuckenpi
ssmeof f.
Withthatsai
d,shegr
absthekeysonthe
counterandwalksof
f.Ist
andtofol
l
owherand
getinandshespeedsoff.
Me:
Dri
vecar
eful
l
ybaby
.
Her
:Dont
!Pl
ease,
notnow!
Yho!Ij
ustshakemyheadandpl
acemyhand
onmybabies.Shesi
ghsandpl
acesherhand
ov
ermi
ne.
Me:
ilov
eyou.
Her
:doy
ou?
Hai
bo?What
sthatsupposedt
omean?
[
10/
30,
11:
57]Wadz
:Fucki
ngVodacom .
..

£58
~Mel
i
sizwe~
"STOPTHECAR"I mfumingwi t
hanger .How
dareshequesti
onmyl oveforher?Howmuch
mor ecanIendureofthi
s?Wi l
lIeverbeenough
forThando?Will
sheforeverdoubtmyl ovefor
herandholdontothepast?Shepul l
sov erandI
getout.I
m somadIcoul dhitsomet hi
ng.Igo
aroundtothedri
versseat.
Me:
Geti
ntheback!
Ihel
pheroutandshecli
mbsi ntheback.As
soonassheshutsherdoorIdri
veofftothe
house.I
mfur
ious.Enr
aged.Af
uckenani
mal
.
Her
:Mel
i
Me:
Speak.
Her
:Yhohay
inev
ermi
nd.
Me:
Nof
uckensaywhaty
ouneedt
osay
.
Shekeepsqui etandIm guessingbyt hechange
ofherbreathingshescr ying.ButIdontcar e.I
m
bit
terashell.Iparkoutsideherapar tmentand
shegoesi n.Assoonasherdoorshut sIdr ive
off.Tothegy mt oblowof fsomest eam bef oreI
fuckenkil
lsomeone.Igett here,checki nandgo
tothemensl ockerroomsandchangei ntomy
gear.Ial
way skeepspar egy m clothesint he
boot.Igotot hepunchingbagandl etallmy
angerandf rustrat
ionsoutont hepoorbag.
?
:Heyst
all
i
on.
Asweetfacedbrowneyedsugarl
ooksatme
smil
i
ng.AnyotherdayIwoul
dvesmiledback
andent
ertai
nedherwhil
egentl
yrej
ecti
ngher.
Butt
oday
?Imi
nnomood.
Me:
Hi
Her
:Jessi
ca.
.
Sheext
endsherhandbutImjustnoti
nther
ight
spacet
omakeanaquintance.
Me:
okay
.WhatcanIdof
ory
ou?
Herexpressi
onchangesf
rom f
li
rt
ici
oust
out
ter
shock.
Her
:Youdonthav
etobesor
ude.
Ichuckl
esar
cast
ical
l
y.
Me:Dousbothafav
ourandwalkawaybef
oreI
saysomet
hingt
hatwil
ldest
royy
ourl
it
tl
eego.
Itur
nandwalkt
ot hemensl ockerr
oomswher e
Igetmybagandleave.I
llshoweratThandos
pl
ace.

~Thando~
Im paci
ngbackandfor
thwipi
ngmyt ear
sand
prayi
ngtoGodthatMelicomesbacktome.We
j
ustgotmarri
edforf
uckssakes.Whatmore
canhedo?
ThedooropensandIrushovert
ohi
m andhug
hi
m.Hedoesntreci
procatet
hehug.
Hi
m:Ineedt
oshower
.
Ishakemyheadno.
Hi
m:Thando!
Me:
CanIt
alkf
ir
st?
Hesi
ghsandIpul
lhi
m ov
ert
othecouch.
Me: I
m sorr
y.Idi
dntmeanwhatIsai d.Youwere
i
nt hefi
ri
ngli
newhenIwast hrowingshots.
JustthatIwassoangryandItookitoutonyou.
AndIm sosorrybaby
.Iloveyou,y
ouknowt hat?
Hesi
tst
her
eandl
ooksatme.
Hi
m:Doy
oubel
i
eveIl
ovey
ou?
Inod
Me:
Ido.
Hi
m:Doy
ouev
erquest
ionmyl
ovef
ory
ou?
Me:
Notany
mor
e.
I
m bei
nghonest
.
Hi
m:Whatdoest
hatmean?
Isi
ghandplacehishandonmybel l
y.Theyst
art
mov i
ngandwebot hgi
ggle.Iguesstheycan
sensethatt
hingsar
entsogoodbet weenus.
Me:
promi
sey
ouwontl
eav
eorgetmad?
Heshowsmet
hef
ingerwi
thhi
sweddi
ngband
Him:Ipr
omi
senott
oleav
ebutIcantpr
omi
se
nott
obemad.
Me:
Okay
.Butl
etmegopeef
ir
st.
Hel
aughs.

Hesi
nt heshowerandI
m si
tt
ingonthebed,
wear
inghisgownandsli
pper
s.ImustsayIl
ook
cut
einhiscl
othes.Thewatergoesof fandmy
kni
ghti
nshini
ngar mourst
epsout .Yeer.He
comesoutnaked.Yhohestorso!Hisarms!Hi s
l
egs!Hi
spenis!Icantst
oplookingathispenis.
..
Hi
m:Myey
esar
eupher
e
Me:
Buty
ourpeni
sisdownher
e.
HelaughsandIinv
olunt
ari
l
yli
ckmyl
i
psand
cl
osemyl egst
ight
er.
Hetakesouthi
slot
ioni
ngcr
eam andashes
aboutt
osqueeze
Me:
CanIdoi
t?
Helooksatmeandchuckles.Hehandsi
ttome
andImakehimlieonthebedandsitonhi
m.I
l
oti
onhisupperbodyf
irst
.
Hi
m:t
alk.
Me: Okay.
..wellinthebeginni
ngIusedt
odoubt
you.Butthent hatall
changedonceIsawyour
l
ovef orme...hayiMelisi
zwe.
Fr
ed,
ashecal
l
shi
speni
s,pokesmybum.
Him:Hayii
tsnotme.St
opf
lexi
ngy
ourhi
psso
sexynawe.
Il
augh.
Me:AsIwassayi
ng,wejustgotr
emarr
iedandI
j
ustwantustobehappyandinl
oveand
const
ant
lyf
uck.
Hel
aughsandsodoI
.
Me:
Idol
ovey
oual
ot.
..ouch!Ow!Hey
.
Hesit
supandwearenosetonose.Hel
i
ftsme
andpl
acesmenex
ttohim,openi
ngmygownin
thepr
ocess.
Hi
m:What
swr
ong?Let
sgot
othehospi
tal
.
Me:
No.Yourf
uckenki
ds.
Hegi
vesmeadeathst
areasIsaysoandIrol
l
myeyes.I
m br
ushi
ngt
hesideofmybel
lyand
soi
she.
Hi
m:What
swr
ong?
Me:Theel
bow.Herel
bowispokingonmysi
de
andtheot
heronei
scaughtundermyri
b.
Hi
m:Awmynunu.I
m sor
ry.
Herubsmybel
l
yandki ssesmybel
l
yrepeat
edl
y
unt
ilt
hepai
nevades.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thandoi
sdrippi
ngwet .WhycantIgetoverher
gooddel
ici
ousnookie?Shescreamsand
comesfl
oodingonmel i
ket
heNi agr
aFalls.
Damn.Shecloseshereyesandlight
lysnores.
Thenextmorni
ng,Imakeherbreakf
asti
nbed
andgotoourroom.Shesbentoverdoi
ngIdont
knowwhat.
Me:
Baby
!Nodontdot
hat
.
Shest
andsandsmi
l
esatme.
Her
:Iwant
edmynooki
etogetsomeai
r.You
r
eal
lydi
danumberonmedamnman.
Il
aughandshef
ansher
sel
f.
Her
:Youknow,
aft
erl
astni
ghtnomor
eri
ght
?
Mysmi
l
efadesandIt
hinkmymout
hhangs.
Me:
Why
?
Her
:Mywat
erbr
oke.
Ist
opandl
ookatherl
egs.If
reeze.I
snti
ttoo
ear
ly?
Her
:Babyl
etsgot
othehospi
tal
kal
oku.
Howi sshesocal m atsuchacr i
ti
calti
me.Ir un
aroundlikeheadlesschickenl
ookingforalkthe
necessarythi
ngs.ThankGodI veshower ed.I
weart r
ackpants,vestandloaf
ers.Shewear sa
dressandmysl i
ppersandgetsthephone.Shes
walkingaroundsocasual ly
.
Me:
Yougood?Younothur
ti
ng?Cany
ouwal
k?
Shesmi
l
esatme
Her
:NobabyI
mfi
ne.Let
sgo.
Ir
unt
othecarandputal
lthebagsi
nsi
de,
then
gobackinandcar
ryhert
othecar
,muchtoher
del
i
ght.Il
ockupanddri
veofft
othehospi
tal
.
Onthehandsf
ree,
Ical
lmymom.
Her
:Yes?
Me:
Itsti
me.Thandosgi
vi
ngbi
rt
h.Meetusat
t
hehospit
al.
Mama:
Okay
.Wowsosoon?
IhangupassoonasIhearThandogr
oan.
Her
:Oww!
Igrabherhandandhelpherbr
eathel
i
ket
hey
taughtusi
ntheclassesweatt
ended.
Thando:
aaaaaah!
Thatmustbethef
ir
stcontr
acti
on.Iwantt
olet
goofherhandandrubherbackbutshehol
dsit
fi
rmly
.
Her
:Nodontpl
ease.
..

Shesl
ayi
ngont
hebedandt
her
ear
eal
otof
machi neshookeduptoher.I
m scar
edforher
l
ife.Ikeeprubbi
ngherbackandholdi
ngher
handwi ththeother
.Shesl
ayi
ngsoftl
y.
Dr:
Weneedt ogototheater
.Shesnotdi
lat
ing
andthebabi
esar
estarti
ngtousefuncti
on.
Fuck!Igentl
ywakeherupandgochangei nto
scrubs.Thenmeetherintheater
.Igostr
aight
forherhandandkissheront hefor
ehead
repeatedl
y.
Her
:BabyI
m scar
ed.I
tsonl
ythe7t
hmont
h.
Me:We'l
lbefine.Thebabi
eswi
l
lbegood.We'
l
l
al
lbehappy.Iloveyou.
Shenodsandki ssesmylips.Ireal
lyfeelli
ke
cryi
ng.Tearsfalldownmyf ace, i
nsidemyhead
Isayasi l
entprayeraski
ngt hatThandoandmy
kidsmakei t
.Im kissi
ngherf or
ehead,aftera
while,t
hereisasof tcr
yandIl ookupi t
sababy
boy.Theyplacehi m onThandoschest .Then
theressil
ence.
Dr
:Thi
sli
tt
leonei
shungr
y.
Hehandsmet heot heroneandIpl acehim on
mybar echest.Whyi snthecr yi
ng?Hessot iny
onmychestI m soscar edtodr ophi m andy et
I
m petrif
iedtoti
ghtenmygr i
par oundhi m
i
ncaseIsqueezehi mt odeat h.Afterawhi l
et he
nursestakethem andgocl eant hem andpl ace
them i
nincubatursbecauset heyar esosmal l
.
Myl i
tt
lepremies.IkissThando, thankingherf or
thi
spreciousgift
.Shebl ushesandIgot othe
l
itt
leonesinthenur sery.

~Thando~
Mybodyhur t
ssobadl yf
rom t
heop.Mylower
hal
fiskil
l
ingmebutImi ssmybabiesmore.I
wanttogoseet hem.Meliwal
ksinwit
hanarm
ful
loff
lowers.Theyr
esobeautif
ul
Me:
Forme?
HenodsandIsqueal
indel
i
ght
.Butt
hen
rememberImi
npain,
asi
tcomesl
i
ke
shockwav
ethr
oughmybody.
Me:
Thanky
ouangel
.
Him:No,thanky
ouforgi
vi
ngmet
wobeaut
if
ul
andpreci
oussons.
Ibl
ush
Him:Iusedtotakey
ourl
ovef
orgr
ant
edandI
m
sorr
yforthat
.
Me:
Wat
erundert
hebr
idge.
Heki
ssesmeal
lov
ermyf
ace,
Hi
m:Youmakemesohappy
.
Me:Sodoy ou.Wellatt
imes,
youpi
ssmeof f
butnonet
heless,
Icanti
maginemyli
fewi
thout
you.
Hi
m:Idontev
erwanttoev
enthi
nkabouti
t.You
ar
emylif
e,wi
thouty
ouIdi
e.
Ibl
ushandheki
ssesmeagai
n.Fr
edst
ands.
Me:
Nobabyandt
hen?
Him:Ialr
eadyplannedt
ofucky
out
hewhol
eof
yest
erdaybutke..
Me:
Yest
erday
?
Him:Yeah.Aft
ertheopyousleptt
hewhol
eday.
Iwassowor r
iedbutthedr
sassuredmeyou
werefi
ne.IhopeyoudontmindbutInamedt
he
boys.
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
Okay
?Andi
tis?
Hi
m:Si
bon'
engezi
nosi
bon'
ezi
l
e.
Whatt
hef
uck?
[
10/30,11:
57]Wadz:Somethi
ngsupwi t
hthis
page.Myinser
tskeepdi
sappear
ing.Angeke
ha.
a..
.

£59
~Thando~
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ngandsodoeshe.Ooooh!
Ouch!Thepai
n!Ist
opl
aughi
ngandsodoeshe
Hi
m: I
m sosorr
ybaby .Idi
dntmeani
t.Iwas
j
oki
ng.It
sMeluthandoandMmel i
wot
hand
Me:Ncaaaw!Wowbaby
.Whati
nspi
redt
hose
names?Ilov
ethem.
Hi
m:Seei
ngthem andhowhardI
vebeen
smi
li
ngsi
nceIvebeenwit
hthem.
Me:
WhencanIgoseet
hem?
Ther
esasof
tknockonmydoorandt
hedr
ent
ers.
Him:
ohyour
eup?Congr
atul
ati
ons.Howar
e
youf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
Sor
e.Ver
ysor
e.
Hi
m:CanIcheckt
hei
nci
sion?
Iopenmygownandt her
essomuchbl
ood.
Fuck!Im embar
rassedatonce.Whyt
hough?
Melilooksatt
hecutwi thsomuchwor
ryi
nhis
eyes.Thedrdoesev eryt
hing.
Him: Shoul
dgiveitsomet i
metoheal.Dontl
i
ft
anyt
hi ngheav
yandt akeiteasy
.Seeyouina
mont hsti
met ocheckforanyscar
ri
ngor
tear
ing.Okay?Everyt
hingseemsgood.
It
hankhi
m andhet
urnshusat
tent
ionbackt
o
Meli
.
Hin:
Nosexf ort
henext2mont
hs.Orunt
ilshes
complet
elyheal
ed.
Mel
smi
l
esandnods.Thedrl
eav
es.
Mel
i
:Baby
?
Me:
Nana?
Hesmi
l
es
Hi
m:Ar
eyoudi
sappoi
ntedt
hatt
hey
renotgi
rl
s?
Me:Notreal
lyno.Asl
ongasmybabi
esar
e
heal
thyandali
ve.
Hesmi
l
esandki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Me:
Let
sgoseet
hem.
Ical
lanur
seandshecomest
hroughandhel
ps
mecl eanupmy selfandshowerandal l
.Once
Im cl
ean, MeliandIgot othenursery
.He
carri
esme.Soext ra.Whenwegoi n,
ohmy
goodness, t
hey r
esosmal l.Thenursecomesin
andhel psmef eedt hem t
hroughtheholesi
n
theincubator.Myhear tbr
eaksasIwant edto
feedthem withbr eastmil
k.

We'rebackinmyr oom andMel

ii
sinmybed
cuddlingt
hepain.Ther
esaknockandMeli
tel
l
s
them toenter
.Mamacomesi n,
fol
lowedby
ever
y one.
Ma:
Mor
ningnana
Me:
Mol
omah.
Thandi
swacomest
omybedandhugsmef
or
dearl
if
e.
Her
:Youokay
?
Me:
Uhm.
..y
eah.
.justhungr
yandi
nal
otofpai
n.
Mom:
Ohmybaby
..
.whatdi
dtheygi
vey
ouf
or
pai
n?
Ishowherandshenods
Wetal
kforawhi
l
ecompl
etel
yignor
ingev
ery
oneel
se
Mom:
Iwassowor
ri
edbaby
..
Me:I
m okay
.Justhappyt
hey'
real
i
vey
ouknow?
Any
wayhowsDav i
dandtheki
ds?
Shebl
ushesandsmi
l
es
Her:
Theyref
ine.Gr
owing.Amori
saskingabout
youconst
ant
lyandBlessi
ngisst
art
ingtowalk.
Ismileatherasshet alksaboutherkids,my
si
bli
ngs.Wet alkforsomet i
meandsheasksf or
hotwaterandt heygiveherandshepour s
peppermintdruppelsi
nf ormet odrink.I
tsbi
tt
er
butapparentl
yithelpswithcleaningthewomb
andremov i
ngcl ot
sandi mpuriti
esfaster
.Then
sheleaves.
Mama:
Unj
ani
ntombi
?(howar
eyougi
rl
)
Me:
Im good.Thepai
nissubsi
dingbutI
m okay
.
WhenIlookar
ound,Melii
sgonewi
ththi
s
br
other
sandfatherpr
obablyt
ogoseetheboy
s.
Mama:
Kany
i,
Ismi
l
eatherandshesmi
l
esback.
Her
:Im sor
ry.
If
rown
Me:
For
?
Her
:Al
lthathappenedwit
hyouandMel
iand
howIwasntther
eforyou.
Me:
Itsokaymama.Wat
erundert
hebr
idge.
Shehugsmeandsmi
l
es.

*
3mont
hsl
ater
*
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thingshavebeenokayaroundt
hehouse.
Exceptfort
hetwinscr
yingandThandost
oo,
we'v ebeengood.Li ttl
eAhlumi le,hasbeen
homef oracoupl eofweeksandi twasgr eat.
Shel ovesherbr ot her ssomuchandcantwai t
fort hem t owal kandt alk.Shesaf eisty2y ear
oldwhocant alky ho!Shesv eryspoi ltby
ever yoneandi sgr eatt obear ound.Butshehad
togobackt otheSt atesbecausehermot her
missedher .HerandThandogetal ongl ikea
houseandf i
re,i
tsador abletowat ch.Speaki ng
ofThando, Imisshersomuch.Bei nginsideof
her, hearinghermoanmyname, squi rtonme,
ri
dingmeandput tingFr edinhermout h.We
hav entdonei tsinceshecamebackf rom the
hospi talandal thoughIunder stand, Icravefor
her.Someday sIsl eepi ntheguest room to
avoidseei nghernakedbecauseIgett urnedon
i
mmedi at el
y.Shesbeenexer cisinganddr inking
allsor t
sofheal thyst uffsoherbodyi sbangi ng
forday s.Herassi sj ust.
..l
etmegetbackt o
wor kbef oreIcomei nmypant s.
I
m att heoff
ice,drawi
ngupabudgetf oranew
bui
ldingandr evi
ewingtheacut
ecturalst
ruct
ure.
Theresaknockatmydoor .Whot hefuckcoul
d
i
tbe, Itol
dCraig,mynewassistant,t
hatIdont
wantany onehere.
Me:
Yes?
Herperfumehi
tsmebefor
eIev
enl
ookup.
Wow, shesmagni
fi
cent
.
Her
:Hi
baby
.Lunch?
Ismi
l
e.Mywomanal
way
sthi
nksofev
ery
thi
ng.
Me:
Please.
Shecomesar oundandhandsmemyf
ood.The
phoner
ings.Fuck.
Her
:Answer
,anddontdr
op.
Il
ookatherconfusedandIanswer .Shecomes
aroundandgetsonherknees.Fuck.Ihope
shesnotthi
nkingofdoingwhatIthinksheis.
Sheunzipsmypantsandt akesoutFred.She
smilesandl
icksherl
ips.Damn.Icanhar dl
y
concent
rat
eont
hecal
l
.
Me:
CanIgetbackt
oyou?
Her
:Youdr
op,
Ist
op.
Fuck!Iconti
nue, l
yi
ngaboutsomet hi
ngbutI
fi
ndi t
.MrAndr ewsissuchapest er
.Whyi she
goingonwhenI m bei
ngpleasur
ed.Ittakesall
thatsinmenott omoan.Shekeepst aki
ngme
deeperinhermout h,smil
ingandkissingmy
penis.Then,shefull
ysati
sfi
edme.Yeeeer r!I
gaspatt hepleasureandbit
emyhandt orefr
ain
from moaning.
"
Shi
t"comesunbi
ddenf
rom mymout
h.
Andr
ews:
Isev
ery
thi
ngal
ri
ght
?
Me:
Yesuhm,
I.
..cl
osedt
hedr
aweronmyf
inger
.
Imlyi
ngt hroughmyteet
handThandoi s
rel
entl
essinherpleasur
egivi
ng.Im socloseto
coming,Ireall
yam.Shestops.
..noopleaseno.
Thenstandsandhi t
chesupheralreadyshort
ski
rtandslidesmein.What?Shesnotwear ing
underwear
?Shecamepr epared.Ohshef eel
s
sogoodandt i
ght.Sheshouldstopwithher
kegel
snowcausedamn.Shest arsmov i
ng,
whil
eIconti
nuetryi
ngtotalkont hephone
aboutbudgetandlogi
sti
cs.
Me:MrAndrews,Iseem t
ohaveamissi
ngpage,
canIcal
lyoubackonceIpri
nti
tout
?
Hi
m:Nopr
obl
em.
Ihangupbef oreIlosemyboner .NowIcanf ul
l
y
concentr
ate.Damnherwai stismor efl
exi
ble
thanbefore,
herasssof teryetfir
mer ,
bounci
ng
onme, herbreastsrubbingonme, hermoans
sil
entbuteffect
ive.Sheletsoutagr oanand
cumssilentl
yonme, soonIfollow.Shelayson
mychestsoshecancat chherbr eat
h.
Shetakesherbagandt
akesoutherwi
pesand
wipesthebot
hofus.
Her:
Enj
oyy
ourmeal
andI
llseey
ouathome
nhe?
Shepecksmeont heli
psandturns.BendsandI
swatheronthebum,shegiggl
esandwal ksout
,
notbef
oresheblowsmeaki ss.Wow!Whata
waytostar
tmyday .
[
10/30,11:
57]Wadz:Sorr
ymyfacebooki
sonl
y
r
espondingnowsinceSatur
day
..
.

£60
~Thando~
Ooot hatwasf un!Icantwai tf
orhimt osav age
met onight.YoudontknowhowmuchIcr aved
forMelisizwesbodybutIwast ooi nsecur e
aboutmy self.Eventhoughhewoul dgeta
bonerwhenIwasnakedIwasst il
l i
nsecur ebut
today,Ijustfeltl
ikepleasingmyman.Il ove
Melihei smy3r dbaby .Hahay oushoul dv eseen
thewayhewassul ki
ngt hi
smor ning,beggi ng
met ojustl ethimt ouchit,smell
itev en.My
mansaf reak.Im onmywayt oWool iesf oodfor
somecakef ormeandmyboo.Iaskedhi s
mom t obabysitforusandshewasbey ond
exci
ted.Myboy s?YhoI veneverlov
edt wo
peoplemorethanIl ovethem.Theyar emy
ever
ythingandmor e.Theymakemeangr y,
happy,sad,cr
yandl augh.Every
dayt heylook
moreandmor eli
ket hei
rfat
herandt hat
saddensme.
?
:Hey
It
urnt
ofindCary
nsmi
l
ingatme.Goshwhata
moodspoil
er.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Her
:Congr
atsont
heki
ds.
Me:
Andy
ouknowt
hishow?
Her
:Yonel
ami
ght
vement
ionedsomet
hing.
Me:
mmm.
.thanks.
It
aket
hecakeandwal
kawayt
othet
il
ltopay
.

BackhomeIcookupast
orm,
try
ingoutsome
reci
pesandaddingaf ewt
wistsofmyown.I
boughtt
hissexyli
ttl
enumberforhimtorip
apartwi
thhi
st eet
handwaitedforhi
mt ocome
home.Thedooropensandhecomesi n.He
smil
esatme
Hi
m:Mybaby
?
Me:
Myl
ovey
our
ehomeear
ly.
Hesmi l
esandmovesclosert
omeunt il
we're
nosetonose.I
m wear
inghisgownandmy
undi
esonlysohe'
ll
accessmef astandIdont
wantthat.
Me:
No.
.
Isaymovi
ngaway
,hessohar
dandr
eadyt
o
pounceonme.
Hi
m:Why
?
Heki
ssesmyneckandmov
esdown.Thi
sfeel
s
damngood.
Me:
Food.
..now.
..baby
Hedoesntst
opunti
lher
eachesmyhappypl
ace.
Hecomesup,li
cksmyli
psandbi
tesmybott
om
l
ip,
pul
li
ngandsucki
ngonit.
Hi
m:What
sforsupper
,besi
desy
ou?
It
hinkmycheekshavetur
nedbeet
rootr
ed.
Thi
sguymara?Igiggl
e.Nowords.
Hi
m:Hai
bo?Nowor
ds?
Ishakemyheadandl
eadhi
mtot
heki
tchen.

Wehav
ingdi
nnerov
eral
i
ghtconv
ersat
ion
Him:Youknow,
we'
venev
erbeenonapr
oper
honeymoon.
If
rownandl
ookathi
m
Me:
Wel
lwear
entmar
ri
edy
etso.
..
Hi
m:Wehav
e.
Me:Well
letmeputi
tthi
sway
,Iv
enev
erhadmy
dr
eam weddi
ng.
Hest
opswhathesdoi
ng.
Hi
m:Youwantaweddi
ng?Whi
te?
Me:Both.Iwanttochoosemyweddingnot
hav
eitdonef orme.Nothi
ngbi
g.Somethi
ng
small
andi nt
imate,
li
keus.
Hel
ooksatme,
dumbf
ounded.
Hi
m:Ri
ghtnow?
Hesay
swhi
l
escr
atchi
nghi
shead.
Me:
Whynot
?
Him:Wevebeenmar
ri
edbefor
esoi
tsj
ust
goi
ngtobeawasteofmoney.
Icantbeli
evehe'
sjustsai
dt hat
.If
eel
myt ears
thr
eateni
ngt of
all
.Sobasicall
yhewasmar r
ying
mef orconveni
ence?Igetupandhestands
beforeme.
Me:
Mov
e!
Clearl
yhedoesntwantt
his.Canhenotseemy
reasoni
ng?I
mi nnomoodf orthi
sconver
sat
ion.
Hi
m:Babe.
.
Isnat
chmyhandawayandwal kof
f.Try
ingmy
bestnott
ocr
y.Icanhearhi
sfoot
stepsbehi
nd
me
Hi
m:Thando!Canwet
alk?
Me:Whatfor
?Youal
readymadeupy
ourmi
nd
sowhat
everIsaywi
l
lbefut
il
e.
Hi
m:Comeon!
Me:Noit
sfine.Kakadewhatev
eryousaygoes
sowhydidIeventhinki
tdbedif
fer
entt
hist
ime?
Hesighsandkeepsqui
et.Iminmoodf
orsex
any
mor e,
Imfuckingpi
ssed.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
I
tsbeensosouri
nthi
shousesincedi
nnerandI
r
efusetosl
eeepl
iket
his.No,
never
.
Me:
Thando.Mybaby
.
Shegi
vesmeadeadl
yst
are,
yho.
Her
:Yes?
Shesreadingabookandl
ookingsogoodinher
l
inger
ie.Thisi
stor
tur
ebutIneedtobestr
ong.
Me:
Ndi
j
ongekal
oku(
lookatme)
Sheput
sherbookdownandl
ooksatmewi
th
suchat
ti
tude.
Me:
Im sor
ryaboutwhatIsai
d.
Her
:Di
dyoumeani
t?
Di
dI?
Me:
Notr
eal
l
y.
Her
:Expl
ainy
our
sel
f.
Me: Well
,j
ustthatIdi
dntt
hinkyoudwant
anotherweddi
ng.Justapri
vategetaway
betweenthetwoofus.Tryforanot
herbaby
.
Her:Thereyougo.Sex!Thatsal
lyouev
erthi
nk
about.
..whataboutwhatIfeel
?Want?Need?
Si
gh.Ther
esmor
etot
hist
hanmeet
stheey
e.
Me: NoIdontal waysthinkaboutsex.
.Ial
so
thi
nkabouty ourcaptivati
ngsmil
e,yourdr
eamy
eyes,youraddicti
velaugh,howyousaymy
name, howcutey oulookwheny ourangry
, the
wayy ouscri
nchy ourey eswhenreadi
ngfine
pri
ntandhowdi sori
entatedyouarewheny ouve
j
ustwokenup.
Shebl
ushesandcov
ersherf
ace.
Her
:Your
enotof
fthehookMr
!Outwi
thi
t.
Me:Im sor
ryIdi
dntconsidery
ourfeel
ings.We
canhaveaweddingofy ourdr
eamswi th
car
ri
agesandballr
oom andalltheext
ravagent
s.
Anyt
hingforyoubaby.
Shegi
ggl
es.
Her
:Bal
l
room nhe?
Me:
Yesgi
rl
!
Shel
aughsandcomescl
osert
omet
oki
ssme.
Her
:Okay.ButImeanitwhenIsaysomethi
ng
smal
l.Justafewpeopl
eprobabl
y50,aty
our
momshouseandourki
dst
obepar
tofi
t.That
s
i
t.Not
hingdr
ast
ic.
Ismi
l
eandnod.
Me:
Okay
.
Shestr
addlesmeandkissesmewhilegr
indi
ng
herhi
ps.Shesavi
xen.Afterawhi
l
e,shepull
s
away.
Her
:Thanky
ou.
Me:Any
thi
ngf
ormybaby
.Ihat
eitwhenwe
f
ight
.
Her
:Met
oo.Okayonel
astt
hing.
.
Isi
gh.
Me:
Yes?
Her
:Ha.
adontbel
i
ket
hat
.
Ihuf
fandsmi
l
e
Me:
Yeshoney
?
Shegi
gggl
es
Her
:Bet
ter
.Uhm,
itsaboutwor
k.
Me:
No.
Her
:Youdi
dntev
enhearmeouty
et.
Me:Idontneedt
o.BabeImakeenoughf
orus
t
oli
veon.
Her:Baby,
pleaseI
m beggi
ngy ou.It
snoteven
aboutmoney ,
okaymaybe,butplease,
thi
nk
aboutit
.
Ihuf
f,i
mf r
ust
rat
ed.Whycantsheunder
stand
myreasoni
ng?
Me:Fine.
.nowcanIhav
emynookiepl
ease?Iv
e
beenwaiti
ngadamngood3monthstotast
eit
agai
n.
Shel
aughs
Her
:Sochi
val
rousofy
ou.
I
minnomoodt
otal
k.Ti
met
oeat
.

'
MELI
I.
..BHUTI
..
.BABY.
..PLEASE.
..AAH.
..NO.
..
FUCK! 'I
sal lt
hatmybeaut i
fulwifeismoani ng
asItakeherf r
om behi nd.Shesholdingont ot he
kit
chensi nkasIt akeherf rom behind.Herl egis
perchedupont hest epladderandt heot heron
thefloor.Hergloriousassi sri
ghtonmeasher
backusar chedandherwai stmov i
ngi ncircles
aswemakesweetdi v
inelove.Thisisprobabl y
the8t hti
mewe' v
ebeenati t,
Iveevenl ostcount .
Ismackherassandt hatsetsherof fbecause
shecums, shower i
ngmei ntheprocessandi n
not i
me, Ifoll
owsui t.West ayli
kethisfora
whilebef oresheput sherlegdownandI
carefull
yslideoutofher .Hernooki eisswol len.
Her:Damnbaby.
..y
ousureknowhowtochow
nookieandl
eav
eabi t
chbeggi
ngformor
e.
Ilaugh.Hai
bo?I
sthi
smydearwi
fet
alki
ngl
i
ke
this?
Her
:Hay
inev
er.Mypoorcoochi
eisonf
ir
e.Yhu.
Shetakesoutabagoff r
ozenpeasandput
sit
onherdeli
ciousness.Icanthel
pbutl
augh.
Ser
iousl
y?Peast
hatweeat
?Amen!
Me:Icanthel
pt haty
ouredeli
cious.Gotme
wanti
ngmor eallday
,every
day.Andbesi des,
whatswit
hthatnewhi pthi
ngyoudoi ng?Wher e
di
dyoulearnthat?
Her
:Youl
i
kei
t?
Inodv
igor
ousl
y.
Her
:GoodcauseI
m notgoi
ngt
otel
lyou.
Me:
Eshee!
Shelaughsandcarri
esoncooki
ng.It
salmost
theendofApril
,soweatheri
squit
ewindy
outsi
de.Ihopewe'l
lbei
ndoorsthewholeday
.
Her
:Babywam?
Il
ovei
twhenshecal
l
smet
hat
.
Me:
Myl
ove?
Her
:Aboutwor
k.
Isi
gh.
Me:
Nott
hisagai
n.
Her
:Yes.Thi
sagai
n.Igotaj
obi
nter
viewon
Monday.
Me:
Ohwher
e?
Her
:Li
keI
dtel
lyou.
Me:
Whynot
?
Her:Soyoucansabot
agemychances?Ha!I
m
notstupi
d.
Woah!Whatdoest
hatmean?
Me:
Whatdoest
hatmean?
Her:
ItmeansIknowyourewel
lconnect
edand
youdontwantmetowork,sowhoknowswhat
youcan/wi
l
ldo.
Ouch!
Me: Soyout
hinkI
m socr
uel
ast
omesswi
th
yourcar
eer?
I
m genui
nel
yhur
tbyt
his.Whatthef
ucki
s
Thandot
aki
ngmefor
?Whati sshei
mply
ing?
Am Isuchat
yrantt
owar
dshrl
i
fe?
Her
:NoIj
ustmeant
..
.
Me:
Noi
tscool
.
Igetupandst or
m off.I
m seri
ouslypissedof f
byherstatement.YeahokayIadmi tIdontwant
hertowor k,
notbecauseofinsecuri
ti
es, Ijust
wanthertobehomet aki
ngcareofourki ds
hersel
f.ButIguessnot.

[
10/
30,
13:
42]Wadz
:£61
~Thando~
Swi t
chi
ngof ft
hestove,Ifol
l
owaf terMel
i
.If
ind
himi nt
hebedr oom si
tt
ingont hechai
rwi
thhis
faceinhishands.Hesuddenl yscr
eamsand
throwsthelampacr osstheroom.
Me:
Hai
bo!Bhut
i?Andt
hen?
Heshuf
fi
ng.
Hi
m:Whydoy
oumakemeamonst
er?
Me:
How?
Him:Youmakeitseem asthoughI
m some
domi
neeri
ngtyr
antthatwantstoexhaustal
l
ty
pesofcont
roloveryou?
Me:
Hai
boni
ni?
(when)
Hi
m:Thatl
i
ttl
esnycommenty
oumadeabout
me.
Okay
!Someonei
sser
iousl
ypi
ssedof
f.
Me:
Il
ltal
ktoy
ouwheny
our
ecal
mer
.
Hepullsmebymyar
m andt
hrowsmeonthe
bed.Hehover
sov
ermeandstar
esdeepi
nmy
eyes.
Him:Thando, dontmakemel osemypatience
wit
hy ou.Im averydangerousmanwhenI m
pi
ssedof fsodont..
.pleasedontt
ipmeov ert
he
edge.Dontmakemesomet hi
ngIm not
.
Hesseri
ousl
yangryandIm begi
nni
ngtofeel
ver
yscaredandoverpower
ed.Hecanseethe
f
earinmyey esandhecli
mbsoffmeandsi t
s
ont
hechairopposi
tet
hebed.Isi
tupandbr
ing
mykneesuptomychest.
Hi
m: HaveIev
ermadeyoustopyourj
ob?Ev
en
whenyouhadthatwhol
eor
dealwit
hJonas,
did
Imakeyouquit
?
Ishakemyheadno.
Him:Sowhatmakesy
out
hinkI
dint
erv
enei
n
yourcar
eer
?
Isaynot
hing.
Him: YesIaskedy ounottowor
kbutyoumade
i
tper f
ectl
yclearthatyouenj
oyi
tandIlety
ou
be.Sowhyar ey oumakingmeseem l
ikean
overbeari
nghusband?
Ikeepquiet
.Idi
dntr
eal
i
set
hatmycomment
hurthi
m somuch.
Me:
Im sor
ry.
Hel ooksatmeandnods.Nowords.Igetup
andwal ktowar
dshi
m andstandi
nfrontofhi
m.
Ifeelbad.
Hepul
l
smecl
oserandIsi
tonhi
slap.
Him:IloveyouandwhateveryouchooseI l
l
supportyouandtheonl
yreasonIneverwantt o
hearyoutalkaboutwor
k,i
sbecauseIenj oyour
l
itt
lebubbleanddontwantitt
oburstjustyet.
Igi
ggl
eandki
sshi
m onhi
sfor
ehead.Hesso
cut
e.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Hegasps.
Hi
m:Thanky
ou?Qha?
Igi
ggl
eandnod.
Hi
m:Eshee!Mxm sukaphezkwam(
getof
fof
me)
Me:
Andi
fun(
Idontwantt
o)
Hesmi
l
esandki
ssesmynose.
Me:
Yousoext
rat
hough.St
ormi
ngof
fli
ket
hat
?
Hi
m:Oho!Mpa!
Il
aughandwr
apmyarmsaroundhi
sneckand
l
aymyheadonhi
sshoul
der
.Hesmellssogood.
Hi
m:Sowhenst
hei
nter
view?
Me:
Monday
.10am shar
p.
Henods.
Hi
m:Okay
.
Me:
Uhm.
..Tat
abo?
Iknowhemel
tswhenIcal
lhi
mthi
s.Hesmi
l
es.
Hi
m:Nt
ombam?
Il
aughsol
oud.Hai
bo!
Me:
Ineedanout
fi
t.
Hi
m:Okay
.Youcangoaf
terI
m donehav
ingmy
waywi
thyou.
Hesayswhil
eki
ssi
ngmyneck.Thi
sman
t
hough.Suchst
ami
naforanol
dman.Myol
d
man.
.
We'reatthemal lwearingmatchingnavyj
eans,
sneakersandtops.Mel ii
ssomucht al
l
er
besi
desmewi thhi shandonmybum.
Obviousl
ymar ki
nghi st er
ri
tor
yandnotgivi
nga
damnaboutt hel ookspeoplearegiv
ingus.Meli
hasgrownsomef ewgr eyhai
rsandhesaysit
s
al
lmyf ault
.Istresshimt oomuch.Hehake.
Me:
Sowhatdoy
out
hinkoft
his?
I
mi nthefi
tt
ingroomsandhesstandi
ngatthe
doorl
ookingatme.Hefrownsattheknee-
l
engthredskir
t.
Hi
m:Toor
eveal
i
ng.
Me:
Rev
eal
i
ng?
Il
ookatmy
sel
fint
hemi
rr
or.
Hi
m:Ewe!I
tdr
awsoutwhat
smi
ne.
Ij
ustr
oll
myey
es.Tobehonest
,Il
i
ket
hisski
rt
.
Me:
Toobad,
Imt
aki
ngi
t.Il
i
ket
hisski
rt
Hi
m:Thenwhydi
dyouaskf
ormyopi
nion?
Hesay
ssoi
rr
it
ated.
Me:
Hehake.I
mpoxoengaka?
Hesmi
rksandwr
iggl
eshi
sey
ebr
ows.
Hi
m:I
m hungr
y.
Me:Noyouj
ustdontwantt
obeher
ewi
thme
any
more.
Isaywhi
l
epout
ing.I
m gui
l
ttr
ippi
nghi
m.
Hi
m:Damnr
ight
!
Ha!Thatbackf
ir
edqui
ckl
y.Nx.
Me:Fi
ne.Butdontcompl
ainwhenImaxy
our
car
dout.
Hi
m:Pleasedo.Causeyoufor
everbuy
ingfor
ev
ery
oneelsebutyou.Enj
oymylove.I
m out.
Hepecksandsqueezesmybum, maki
ngme
squeal
wi t
hexci
tement.Hewal
ksawayandI
m
l
eftsmil
ingli
keafool
.
?
:Iwi
shIcoul
dgett
hatki
ndofl
ove.
It
urnandf
indav
erybeaut
if
ull
adysmi
l
ingat
me.
Me:I
tslurki
ngi
nev
erycor
ner
.Al
lyouneedt
o
doi
sletitfi
ndy
ou.
Shesmi
l
esandext
endsherhand
Her
:Br
it
ney
.
Me:
Thando.
Her
:Beaut
if
ulf
ace.
Me:
Myt
hought
sexact
ly.
Shel
aughsandwal
ksof
f.St
range.

Im soexhaust
edf rom shoppi
ngandeat i
ngtake
out.Imlayi
nginthebat ht
ub,j
ustsoakingmy
stressandpai
naway .Im sonervousfor
Monday .WhatifIdontgetthejob?YhoIll
be
crushedshame.
Mel
i:
Baby.
..nana.
..mnt
wam..
.mama
wamawel
eam. .
.theonewhohol
dsmyhear
t,
soul
andbody
..
.
Iblush.Hesst
andi
ngneart
hedoor
,leani
ngon
theframesmil
ingatme.
Hi
m:Wher
ewer
eyounow?
Me:
Ner
vousf
orMonday
.
Hi
m:Youl
ldogr
eat
.Iknow.St
opst
ressi
ng
Isi
ghandnod.Hecomesandkneel snexttothe
tubandpl
ayswit
hthewater.Ipull
him cl
oser
andpeckhi
m conti
nuousl
yuntil
hechuckles.
Hi
m:Youl
ovemedonty
ou?
Me:
Uhm.
..wel
l
...t
obehonest
..
.
Webot
hlaugh.
Me:
Ido.Li
key
oul
oveme.
Hesmi
l
es.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Theweekendhasbeengoodwi
thmywi
febut
i
tsbackt owor k.I
ml i
ghter
, ai
ri
er,happiert
his
morning.Mustbeal lthesexingwe'vebeen
havi
ngt hispastweekend.Butitwasshor tl
i
ved
asThandowant edust ogoseet heboysat
moms.SoIcoul dntdoallthatIwanted
yest
erday ,j
usthal
f.Mx.Ihav esomuchwor kto
do,i
tsdr ai
ning.Ei
sh!Bythet i
meI m doneit
s
aft
erlunchandI m exhausted,mentall
y.
Me:
Crai
g!
Ibark.Aaah!Myoff
icei
ssoundpr
oof.How
stupi
d.Ipickupt
hephoneandcallhi
m
Hi
m:Si
r?
Me:
Bri
ngmel
unch.I
m dy
ing.
Hi
m:YesSi
r.Any
thi
ngspeci
fi
c.
Me:2chi
ckenandmay osandwi
ches,
1lof
wat
erandfrui
t.Hur
ry,
Im er
odi
ngaway.
Hel
aughs.
Hi
m:Ri
ghtawaySi
r.
Ihangup.Myphoner
ingsagai
n
Me:
Yes?
Ther
esascr
eam.
Me:
Pinkpuf
fs?
That
swhatIcal
lThandoandshehat
est
olov
e
i
t.
Her:Igott
hej
ob.Justgotcal
l
edbacknownow.
Igotit
.
Me:Congr
atsbaby
.SeeIt
oldy
ou!Congr
ats
angel
.
Her
:Thanky
ou.Seey
ouathome?
Me:Yeah.
..butI
llbel
ate.Ihav
eal
ott
ocat
ch
upon.
Her
:Okay
.Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Shecl
i
ckshert
ongueandhangsup.He.
.ical
l
her
.
Her
:What
?
Me:
Ilov
eyoumost
.
Thenhangup.Iknowshe' l
lbl
usht i
l
lhercheeks
tur
npurple.Cr
aigcomesi nwi
thmyf oodandI
i
mmedi at
elydevourit.Ihandhim somemoney
andhekindlydecl
ines.
Him:Thi
sismythankyoufort
hejob.I
dbe
deadhadyounotgi
venmet hi
sjob.At
leastl
et
meshowmyappr eci
ati
on.
Hesmi l
esandwalksout
.Im st
unned.
Speechl
ess.Whatdi
dhemeant hathedbedead?

Aft
erwhatseemsl i
keforever ,
Idri
vehomet o
myhouse.Wemov i
ngher esoon, al
thoughits
qui
tefarbutThandolovesit.Iwalkinandshes
cooki
nginthekit
cheninadr essandslipper
s.
Shelookssocute.
Me:Daddyshome..andIknowyouv
ebeen
wai
ti
ngforthi
slov
ingallday.
.
Isi
ngasIwalkin,l
icki
ngmyl ipsand
seduct
ivel
yst
ri
ppingforher.Shecomesar ound
andhelpsmeoutofmyj acketthentur
nsand
gri
ndshersweetbodyonme, usi
ngmyt i
eas
hergri
p.Shet
henlaughsandki ssesme.
Her
:Your
esocr
azy
.Heybaby
.
Me:
Onl
yfory
ou.Hi
.
Her:
Myoldman.Cany
oubel
i
evey
ou5y
ear
s
awayfr
om t
hebi
g40?
Me:Ha!OLDMAN?Thatsnotwhaty
ousay
whenImtear
ingt
hatassup.
Shel
aughsandwal
ksaway
.
Her
:Andy
oudo.Mustbet
heol
dage.
Il
aughsohard.Il
ovehowpl
ayf
ulwear
ewhen
wewantto.
Me:
Doesi
tbot
hery
ou?
Her
:What
?
Me:
Myage.
Her:No.Il
ikethefactthatyoureol
der.Bri
ngsa
cert
ainl
evelofsophisti
cati
ontoourlove.And
besi
des,Imakey ouy oungeranyway.
Ichuckl
e.Sucht
rut
h.
Me:Mmm...Iwant
edt
obr
ingy
ougif
tsbutI
wasswamped.Ipr
omi
set
omorrowt
hough.
Her
:Noneed.Yoursuppor
tisal
lthegi
ftIneed.
Ismi
l
eandsi
tont
heki
tchencount
er.
Me:
Boy
snotback?
Shepout
s,l
ooki
ngal
i
ttl
esad.
Her:No.Mom beggedt
okeepthem j
ustf
ora
bi
t.ButImisst
hem somuch.
Me:Iknowyoudo.ButI
m her
eandwecan
makeanotherone.
Shel
aughs
Her
:Af
tert
het
winsar
etwo.
Inod.
Me:
Sohowdi
ditgo?
Her
:Uhm.
..okay
..
.iguess.
..j
ustt
hat
..
.
Shekeepsqui
et.
Me:
What
?
Her:Theboss,i
sthatl
adyImetwhenIwent
shopping,
rememberher?
Ishakemyhead.Ipr
obabl
ywasntpay
ing
att
enti
on.
Her
:Doy
ouev
erl
i
sten?
Me:Notwhenyounaked.Idonthearany
thi
ng
buty
ourmoans.
Shegi
gglesandl
i
ght
lyswat
smewi
tha
di
shcl
oth.
Her
:Ar
gkewena!Thesexf
reak
Me:
Stopchangi
ngt
hesubj
ect
.
Her
:Justt
hat
..shewaswei
rdman.
Me:
Wei
rdhow?
Her
:Li
keshewaschecki
ngmeout
.
Me:
What
?
Her
:Mythought
sexactl
y.ArgbutImustv
ebeen
i
magini
ngthi
ngs.Pr
obablymynerves.
Inod.Notknowingwhatt osay.Whatcanyou
saywheny ourwif
et hinksthatherf
emaleboss
i
scheckingherout?Tobehonest ,I
m ali
tt
le
skept
icalaboutal
lthis.ButIcantsayanyt
hing
ordoanythingori
t'
llbel i
keIm agai
nsther
worki
ng.
[
10/
30,
13:
45]Wadz
:Thecat
ch-
upbegi
ns.
..

£62
~Thando~
Theweekpassesinaf l
ashandIm gladithas.
MondayIst
artworkoffici
all
yandIm soexcited.
Thetwi
nsarejustworkingonmyf uckennerves.
They
vebeencryingf
ormeal way
sespeci al
ly
whenIputt
hem down, soIvehadtohav ethem
sleeponme, muchtoMel i
sdisapprovalsayi
ng
thatIm spoi
l
ingtheboysbutcany oublameme?
Theyremyf i
rstsur
viv
ingki
dsandI m petri
fi
ed
tolosethem yhuIl
ovemypi ki
nini
s.
Hi
m:Pi
nkpuf
f?
If
uckenhatethi
sst
upi
dname.Thef
uck?I
m so
ol
dforsuch.
Me:
Mkhont
o?
Hebl
ushessohar
dandIgi
ggl
e.
Hi
m:Idontt
hinkt
heyl
oveme.
Hesayswi
thsuchasadf
ace.Hel
ooksl
i
kehes
aboutt
ocr
y.
Me:
Hai
bonana?Wher
est
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
Hi
m:WhenIt
akethem f
rom y
out
heycr
yand
al
way
swantyou.
Me:Thatsnott
ruemyl ove.JustthatIv
ebeen
homeforthepast4mont hssot heyr
eusedt o
memor ethanyou.Buttheydolov eyouthough.
Hepoutsandlay
shi
sheadonmyshoulder
.He
r
eall
yisfeel
i
ngdownandIdontknowhowfi
x
t
his.
Me:
Dontbesadmyl
ove.
Hesighsandsaysnothi
ng.Hecl
imbsonme
andcuddl
esmeunt i
lhefal
lsasl
eep.Icant
sl
eepawi nkj
ustt
hinki
ngaboutwhathesjust
sai
d.Myheartsi
nksandIwanttocryshame.

IdontknowwhenIf ellasl
eepbuti wakeup
bri
ghtandear lySundaymor ningandst ar
twi t
h
thepot s.Myheadi sheav yandmyshoul ders
painfull
ycramping.Mustbeal lthestresst hat
Im havingfrom Melisizwe.Mam' Thit
hi walksin,
shest hetwinshelper.Ilovehershesqui teold
butknowshowt ohandl etheboy s.Shesa
widowerwi th3olderki ds.Theyy oungest ,Meli
s
ageandshecal l
smeherbaby .Shewor ksf or
usbecauseshesbor edathomeandherki ds
dontsendhermoney .Itsqui
tesadact uall
y.
Me:
Mamzo.
Her
:Mnt
wanam(
mychi
l
d)
Me:
ulel
ikamnandi
(sl
eepwel
l
)?
Her:
Ewewet hu.Yhubay alal
aabantwanabakho
andi
nabhongo.(Yourbabiescansleepyhu)and
you?
Isi
ghandj
ustshr
ug.
Me:
Ndi
l
elewet
hu(
Isl
eptokay
ish)
.
Her
:Theni
?(what
swr
ong)
Me:
Str
ess.
Her
: Nomanbabydontstress.Tomor
rowwil
l
gookay.I
m hereandsoisumamazala(y
our
motheri
nlaw).Soitwi
l
lbef i
ne.
Inodandshegi
vesmeahug.
Afterchur
ch,wegobackhome.Theboy sar
e
soundasleepinthecarandMeliisj
ustsoquiet
today.Ohmybaby !Imisshi
m somuchev en
thoughhesrightbesi
deme.Ireachoverand
br
ushhisthigh.Hedoesntev
enl
ookatme,
i
nsteadhetakesmyhandandmov esi
tfr
om
hi
m.Andt hen?WhatdidIdo?

Aftersupper,I
m pl
ay i
ngwi tht
heboy sand
l
aughingsohar datthef acestheymake.
They'r
esocut e,aspit
tingimageoft hei
rfat
her.
Itakeaf ewpicswithmyphoneoft hem smil
ing
andsleeping.Meliwalksinandsitsnexttome.
Hi
m:Hi
.
Me:
mmmm.
..
Hi
m:Aboutwhathappenedi
nthecar
,Im sor
ry.I
wasj
ustnoti
nagoodspace.
Me:
ButI
m her
efory
ounj
e.
Hi
m:Iknow.I
m sor
ry
Ipoutandhesmi l
esandsmasheshi sl
ipson
mine.HeattempstopullawaybutIpul
l hi
m
cl
oseranddeepent heki
ss.Hetastesl
i
ke
chocol
ate.Ipul
lawayimmediatel
y.
Me:
Youhadchocol
atewi
thoutme?
Hesmi
l
esandnods.
Hi
m:Icoul
dntr
esi
st.
Me:
Mxm mpa.
Ili
ght l
ypushhi
m andfocusont heboys.Meluis
pull
ingonMel i
.Meli
pickshim upandMel u
giggles.I
tssocut
ethatIcanthelpbutsmile.I
takesnapsofthem wit
hMmel i i
nthepict
ure
too.Myboy s.
Me:
Babeweshoul
dgof
oraphot
oshoot
.
Hesmi l
esandnods.Theboysarepull
ingonhis
faceandli
psandsucki
nghisface.Melii
sjust
l
aughingandsayi
ngnobuttheboy sconti
nue.
Soadorbs.
We'
reinbed.Cuddl
ingwhi
l
ewat chi
ngamov i
e.
Wel
lIm watchi
ngandhesreadi
ngthepaper
.
Me:Icantwai
tfort
omorr
owbutI
m sosadI
wontbeheref
ortheboy
s.
Helooksatmethroughhisgl
assesandfrowns.
Helookssohotwhenhewear shisgl
asses
especi
all
ynowthathesgotabeard.Ooomyclit
thr
obs.WhycantIgetenoughofthi
sman?
Hi
m:Whyy
oul
ooki
ngatmel
i
keI
m api
eceof
meat
?
Me:
Becausey
ouar
e.
Ist
raddl
ehi
m andbit
ehi
sbot
tom l
i
pandpul
l
.
Damn.Hegroans.
Hi
m:Hor
nymuch?
Me:
Fory
ou?Any
day
.
Hechuckl
esandpull
smecloser
.Ist
artgri
ndi
ng
onhi
srisi
ngdick,
whil
eki
ssi
nghim.Hegroans
onmyneck,sucki
ngandbi
ti
ngit
.Aaah..
.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Eversi
nceThandotel
l
ingmeaboutherboss,
I
vebeenuneasy.I
vegotmyeyeonherandi f
shet r
iesanythi
ngI llf
uckherup.Iwasoncea
ver
ybadboybef oresoIknowpeopl ewhodbe
wil
lingtotastesomewhi tepussybef or
e
fi
nishingheroff.Any onecomesnearmyf amil
y
andkids,Iwonthesi tatetofuckthem up.I
m
notasgoodasIper ceiv
emy selftobeandI
havenopr oblem channel i
ngthatsideofmysel
f
again.Butthatsast oryforanotherday.My
personalphoner ings,anumberIdontknow.
Me:
...
?
:Hel
l
o?MrMv
elase?
Soundsl
i
kemyol
dPA,
Stuar
t
Me:
Yes?
Hi
m: Pl
ease.
..comef
ast
.Theywantt
oki
l
lme
pl
ease.
Me:
Wher
ear
eyou?
Hi
m:NoI
m comi
ngt
oyou.Pl
easeSi
r,hel
pme.
Thel
i
negoesdead.Thef
uck?Ther
esasudden
commot
ionout
sidemyoff
iceandt
hedoorfl
i
es
open.Suchdi
srespect
.It
sNel
son.Oh.
Me:
Nel
son.
..
Cr
aig:
Itr
iedt
ost
ophi
m but
..
.
Me:
Itsf
ineCr
aig.I
vegott
his.
Nel
son:
Mvel
asemydearf
ri
end.
HesanAmericansohesay
smysur
namewi
tha
sl
ightt
wang.
Me:
HowcanIhel
pyou?
Hi
m:Yourboyst
olef
rom me.
Me:
Boy
?Idonthav
eaboy
?
Him:Dontfuckwi
thme.St
uar
t.Thatl
i
ttl
eidi
ot
ofyour
sthatyour
ecommendedme.Stolefr
om
me.
Fuck!Howcanoneper
sonbesost
upi
d?
Me:
Howmuch?
Hel
aughs.
Hi
m:8di
amonds.Rubi
esandemer
alds
Fuck!
!Thatscloset
oahundr
edmi
l
li
onont
he
bl
ackmar ket
.Fuck!
Iwhi
stl
eandshakemyhead
Me:
Shi
t.Nowwhat
sthatgott
odowi
thme?
Hi
m:Wet
rackedhi
sphoneandhecal
l
edy
ou.
Me:
Yeah,somet
hingaboutsomeonewant
ing
t
okil
lhi
m.
Hi
m:Wel
l
,that
swher
eyoucomei
n.
Ishakemyhead.It
houghtIwast
hroughwi
th
thi
sli
fe,
buti
tkeepspul
li
ngmeback.
Me:
Fuck!
[
10/
30,
13:
48]Wadz
:£63
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Nel
son:
Indeed.
Me:
ButI
m notaboutt
hatl
i
feany
mor
e.
Hi
m: Oncey
ourein,
yourei
nforl
i
fe.Doesnt
matt
erhowlegi
tyoutr
ytogo.
Tr
ue!Ihuf
fandcal
lKamv
a.
Hi
m:Mnt
akaDaddy
Me:
Shi
tshi
tthef
an.
..
Idr
opthecal
l.HeknowswhatImean.Nel
son
smil
esandli
ghtsaci
garandchi
l
lsi
nmyof fi
ce.
Him:Youhav
eanicebusi
nessher
e.Readt
hat
youmadeyourf
ir
st100mil
lmark3monthsago.
I
mpressi
ve.
Me:
Itr
y.
Hi
m:Soi
sitaf
rontf
ort
hesmuggl
esorl
egi
tfor
r
eal
?
Me:
Legi
tforr
eal
.Nocr
ap,
nobul
l
shi
t.
Henods.
Hi
m:Sot
hesmuggl
es?
Me:
LikeIsai
d,Idontdot
hatany
mor
e.
Hesmirksandcarr
iesonsmoking.Hisguardi
s
att
hedoorloooki
ngahead,pr
obablyatt
he
sky
li
ne.Icont
inuewit
hmywor kunti
lKamv a
cal
l
sme.
Me:
Whatdi
dyouget
?
Him: Al
readysol
d,onashi
poni
tswayt
o
Europe.
Me:
Fuck!
Hi
m:Yeah.Nel
sont
her
e?
Me:Yeah.Busyf
umegat
ingmywor
kpl
ace,
the
f
ucki
ngpr i
ck.
Nel
sonlaughsandhisbodyguar
dsmiles.
Nel
sonslaughi
saddicti
veman,he'
llmakeyou
l
aughevenwheny oudontwantto.
Iputt
hephoneonspeaker
.
Me:
Thet
ha(
speak)
.
Kamv
a:Nel
,l
ongt
ime.
Nel
:Isawy
out
woweeksback.
He?Kamv
a?Ncncnc.Butt
hat
snoneofmyshi
t.
Kamv
a:Youst
il
lcantt
ell
usapar
t?
Nel
:Fuck!Sowhat
sthenews?
Kamva:
Yourdiamondsareonthei
rwayt
o
Eur
opeandStuar
t?Dead!D'
youdoit?
Nel
smi
l
es
Hi
m: Dependsonwhaty
oupl
ant
odowi
tht
hat
i
nfo?
Kamv
asi
ghs
Hi
m:WhyMel
i
?
Nel
:Becauset
hatwashi
sshi
pment
.
Myey
eswi
den.What
?
Me:
What
?
Ipressaredbutt
onandinseconds,
4ofmy
guardscomein.Ipul
loutmygunandst
and.
Kamv
a:Mel
i
sizwe!
Me:
Bye!
Ihangup.Andwalktowar
dsNel
,mygunaimed
athishead.Nel
putsdownhi
sci
garandl
ooks
atme.
Hi
m:Sor
ryman.
Il
owermygunandt
ipt
het
abl
eov
er.I
mfumi
ng.
Me:
What
sthenextmov
efr
om now?

Im onmywayhome, I
m bruisedf r
om t hefight
Nel andIhad.Wedr ovetothewar ehouseand
thingsgotheat edwhenwecoul dntagr eeona
wayf orwar d.Nel blamesmef orSt uartandI
blamehi mf ornotkeepi ngmyst ashsaf e.But
nowal lthingsar ecool betweenus, j
ustt hatwe
needt omov ef ast.Howam Igoi ngtoexpl ain
thecutonmyback?Ort heswol lenlip?Or
bruisedrib?Thandoi sveryobservantov ermy
bodysoshe' llnoti
cef ast.Ipull
upatt hegat e
andgoi n.I m notgoi ngtohi deit
.Shescooki ng
i
nt hekitchenandIgoi n.
Me:
Hey
.
Icantl
ookatheri
ntheey
e.Shegaspswhen
sheseesmeandr ushesover
.Gentl
yli
ft
ingmy
face,
shelooksinmyeyes.Hersar
eglassyand
IneedtoassureherI
mf i
ne.
Me:Pleasedontcr
y.I
mf ine.Justal
it
tl
e
squabbl
ewithanoldfr
iend.Imf i
nenow.
Her
:Baby
..
..
That
sallshesay
sbefor
esheatt
acksmewit
ha
ki
ss.Shepull
sawaywhensheseesmewi
nce.
Her
:Areyouokay?Comesit
.Ohmylov
e.Why?
Whathappened?Comel
etsgotot
hehospi
tal
.
Me:
No.Nohospi
tal
Imf
ine.
Ihav
eanhourtopsher
ebef
oreIl
eav
e.Howam
igoi
ngt
oexplai
nthi
s?
Me:
Honey
,li
sten.
.
Isaypul
l
ingherbackt
ome.
Me:
Ihav
etogo.
Her
:What
?Meli
sizwey
oujustgother
e.And
howar
eyougoi
nganywher
ewheny ourei
nthi
s
st
ate?
Me:
Imf i
nebaby
,real
l
yIm abi
gboy
.Il
lheal
f
ast
er.
Her
:Idontcar
e.Younotgoi
ng!
.
He!Thi
swomani sunbel
i
evabl
e.Hee,
Ijust
l
augh.Icanthel
pit
.
Her
:Somet
hingf
unnyper
haps?
Me: Thando,I
ml eav
ing.Il
lexpl
ainwheni come
back.Besafe,youandmyki ds.Iloveyoutoo
mucht oletsomethi
nghappent oy ou.Imeanit
whenIsayy ouremyl i
fe.Il
oveyou.
Ipeckherandwal
kaway
.
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe!

Imintheplaneonmywayt oLondonwithNel,
Kamv aandKhanya.Langawi
ll
foll
owifthings
getoutofhand.I
mf umingwi
thrage.Thandois
somadatme.Shecr i
edwhenIlef
tandmy
heartbroke.ButI m doi ngthisf orus.Sot hey
aresafe.Im notwor ri
edaboutherandmyboy s
becauseIknowt hey '
resafe.Ial way shavebody
guardsar oundme, buty oullnev ernot iceuntil
youtakeacl oserl ook.Theyar eal way slurking,
8oft hem.Theyr otatewi t
ht heot her s.Mymai n
guy,Tido,isal waysamongstt hem.Heswi thus
nowonourf light,hesv eryver satil
eandcan
shootawhol eki l
omet reawaypoi ntblank.
ThatswhatIl oveabouthi m.Mybodyi snotas
soreIllr
ecov er,wej ustgoingt olayl owin
Europeunt i
ltheshi pmentcomesi n.Im goingto
It
alywhi l
eKamv ai sheadedf orLondon, Khany a
FranceandNel Russia.Wespr eadi ngouttosee
wheret heshi pmenti sgoingsowecancol lect
mydi amondsandgohome, hopef ull
ywithouta
mess.

~Thando~
Ihonest
lydontknowwhat
sgoi
ngonwi
th
Mel i
sizweany more.Hecomeshome, bruised
andbat t
ered,onlytot ellmehesl eav ing.And
wor stofal l
,Idontknowwher eto.Hee!I fhes
cheat i
ngonme, uzony a!Iwi l
lleav ewi thmy
kidsanddemandsol ecust odyoft hem.He
betternotf uckwi t
hme, Im bat shitcr azyt his
ti
mear oundandIwi llnotputmyl itt
leangel sat
ri
sk.I m notaboutt hatl i
fe.Ilookov ert ohis
sideoft hebedandi tsempt y.Igetupandgo
sleepi nmybabi esr oom.It aket hem bot hand
putt hem inmybedbecausei tsbi ggerand
maket heirbottl
esandsl eep.Iwakeupear l
yin
themor ni
ngandchangebot hthei rnappi esand
feedt hem theirbottl
esandsl eepagai n.My
phoner i
ngs.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Mel
i
:Baby
,youst
il
lmad?
Me:
Wher
ear
eyou?
Hi
m:I
tal
y.
Ikeepqui
et.I
veal
way
swant
edt
ogot
her
e.I
heardi
tsabeaut
if
ulcountr
ythatser
vest
he
bestpi
zzasandmacarons.
Hi
m:Myl
ove?
Me:
Oh.
Hi
m: I
tsforbusinessbabyandIdontknowhow
l
ongIm goingtobeherefor.Imi
ssyouso
much.Pleasedontbemadatme.
Me:
Im not
.Wel
lnotany
mor
e.
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ou.
Me:Metoo.Andsodothetwi
ns.They
'r
e
sl
eepi
ngonyoursi
deofthebed.
Ihearhi
m smi
l
e.
Hi
m:Ki
ssthem f
orme.Il
ovey
oual
landy
ou
t
hemost.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Baby
..
.youcantsayt
hat
.
Hi
m:It
strue.Whodoy
oul
ovemor
ebet
ween
meandtheboys?
Me:
Theboy
s.
Hi
m:Yho!
Igi
ggl
ewithtear
sinmyey
es.Imi
sshi
m so
muchitmustbeasin.
Him:Okayke.Inowknowwhereyourl
oyal
ti
es
l
ie.Il
oveyoualotev
enthoughyoudontl
ove
memost .
Me:
Stopbei
ngsoext
ra.
Hel
aughs
Hi
m:Sl
eepwel
lmybaby
.Goodni
ght
.
Me;
Bye.Il
ovey
ou.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo.
AndIhangup.Ikneelbef
oremybedandj ustl
et
mywor r
iesgo.Igi
vethem uptot
heAlmighty
becauseIcantbar
ethem anymor
e.Idontknow,
forsomereasonmyshouldersar
eheavyand
I
m prayi
ngformyhusbandsomuch.
Myal arm goesof fandIswi t
chitoff.Iwakeup
anditf eel
slikeI
m wal kingonacl oud.Ifeel
l
ighterandr eadyt ofacetoday.Tobehonest ,
mybosscr eepst heliv
ingshitoutofme.Idont
knowman, shessweetuBr i
tneyIwontl i
ebut
herey estel
l adi
fferentstor
y.Behindher
seemi nglyi
nnocentsmi l
e,t
heresahi dden
agendaandI my ettoputmyf i
ngeroni t
.
Iar
riveatwor
kandgotomydeskandstar
tup.
Bri
tneycal
lsmetoherof
fi
ceandIgo.
Her
:Ar
eyout
echsav
vy?
Ismi
l
e
Me:
Notr
eal
l
yMa'
am.ButIt
ry.
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Her
:Whenwi
l
lyoust
opcal
l
ingmema'
am?
Me:Never.Youremyboss.Ineedt
orespect
your
egardless.
Shesi
ghsandnods.
Her:
Fine.Thepr
oblemsonmycomputer
,can
youhelpme?Idontwantt
ocal
lthet
echguy
andwastemoneyifit
sasmal
li
ssue.
Igi
ggl
eandgoover.Shemovesherchai
raway
andIbendov
erandlookatt
heprobl
em
Me:
Doy
ouhav
eanext
ernal
dri
ve?
Her
:uhm.
.It
hinkso.
..
Shestandsandsli
desbehi
ndme.Shemoans
whenshepassesbymybum andIswearshe
pausedforasecondbef
orepassi
ng.Whati
s
thi
s?Didshejustmoanatme?
[
10/
30,
13:
50]Wadz
:Bonas.
..

£64
~Thando~
TherestofthedayIwor
ktraumati
sed.Iso
wanttocall
Melisi
zweandtell
him buthi
s
phonesaysthenumberdoesntexi
st.Whatthe
f
lyi
ngfucki
sgoi
ngon?Usual
l
ywhenIcal
lhi
m
whenhesaway,
heanswer
ssowhat
supwi t
h
t
hisbul
l?
Mydayendsqui cklyandIgohomet omy
babies.UMam' Thithiisbusywi t
ht hepot sand
theboy sarei ntheirli
ttleplaybedpl ay i
ng.SoI
guessi shoulddomyweddi ngthi ngs.I ve
alr
eadyf oundt hedr esses, Im hav ingQueand
Erinasmybr idesmai dsandt heirdr essesar e
ready,Kamv aandKhany assuitsar er eady ,
Mel ssuiti
sr eadyandt hev enuesgood.The
cakeisbasi call
ydoneandsoi st hef ood.Al lI
needt odoi sgetmar ried.Alloft hiswoul dnt
hav ebeenpossi blewi thoutmyf riends, Suzi and
Sazi,ThandiswaandMam' Naledi.Theyhel ped
meseti tupnowi tst i
met osendoutt he
i
nv i
tati
ons.Al lofthisiagoi ngt obeasur prise
toMel iandIm soexci ted.ButnowI m notso
surebecauseofhi smy st
eriousdepar turewi th
hisbrothers.Theresaknockonmydoor ,Igo
open.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Si
phe:
Heycanwecomei
n?
Iopenandtheystepi
n.It
sherandOlwethu,
Nomsascarpull
si nj
ustasI
m abouttoclose
thedoor
,Iwaitf
orherandcl
oseup.
Me:
Tea,
cof
fee,
jui
ce,
wine?
Nomsa:
wine,
doesntmat
ter
.
Si
phe:
wine,
whi
te.
Ol
wet
hu:
Jui
ce.

We'
reseatedi
nthel
oungeandI
m gi
vi
ngt
he
t
winsthei
rbot
tl
es.
Si
phe:
Thando,
Im sor
ry.
Ilookatherandsaynot
hing.WhatcanIsay?I
forgav
eherlongagobutwasjustmadforthem
notreachi
ngoutwhentheywereinthewrong.
Nomsa:
Im sor
ry.
Ol
wet
hu:
Im sor
ry.
Me:
okay
.
Siphe:Iknowt hatIsaidI
llbeher efory ou
throughthi
ckandt hi
nandf ai
l
edt odoso.I m
notgoingtomakeexcusesorl ie,
Imj ustgoing
tobehonestwi t
hy ouandapol ogise.Itwas
wrongwhatIdi dandIapologise.Buty ouare
alwayswel comei nmyhomeany dayany ti
me.
Ismi
l
eandnod.
Olwethu:Youreli
kealit
tl
esi
stert
ome.AndIm
sorr
yf ornotbei
ngtherewhenyouneededa
shouldertocryon.I
..
.
Shebr eaksdownandcr ies.Nomsacomf or
ts
herandIt akeouttissuesf r
om mybagt ogive
toher.Mam' Thi
thitakest hetwinstotheirr
oom.
IsmileatherandgohugOl wethu.Shehugsme
ti
ghterandweal lembr acei nabearhug.Iwi pe
mytear sandgosi tafterwebr eakthehug.xl
p
Me:
Ifor
gav
eyouguy
sal
ongt
imeago.I
tsokay
.
I
m goodnowasyouseeIm happy
,mar
ri
edand
wi
thajob.Soi
m good.
Si
phe:
Thanky
ou.Yourboy
sar
esogr
own
Me:Iknow.They
reaspi
tt
ingi
mageoft
hei
r
f
ather
.
Isaywhi
l
epout
ing
Nomsa:Butwi
thyoureyes.They
rehandsome.
Bazobazi
zi
bet
hi(
they'
l
lbecharmers)
.
Ibur
ymyf
acei
nmyhands.
Me:
YhuuuSuy
thet
hasi
si(
Dontsayt
hat
).
Theyl
augh.
Me:
Sohowar
eyouguy
s?
Them:
Good.
Igiggl
eandsodot hey
.Mam'Thi
thibr
ingsf
ood
forever
yone.Yhoshesamazing.Ismil
eather
andmout ha'thankyou'
.Shesmil
esatmeand
wedi gi
n.
Me:
Sohowst
hehousewi
thouty
ourhubbi
es?
Nomsa:Ij
ustwanthim backal
ready
.Thei
r
missi
onmustjustendalr
eadyyhu.
Me:
Missi
on?
Si
pheshakesherheadatNomsaandNomsa
cl
ear
sherthroat
.
Nomsa:
yeah,
thei
rbusi
nesst
ri
p.
Me:
Oh.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Theshipmenthasar ri
vedi nLondonsoI m on
mywayt heirtogetmyshi t.Stuar
tisanass
shamenodoubt .Ivespentagoodweekgoi ng
tothedoctocheckf oranynewshi pmentsfrom
Afri
caandwasst arti
ngt olosepatience.My
planefi
nal
lylandsandTi dodrivesust owhere
mydi amondsar e.Imv erydiscret
ewheni t
comest omyi l
legiti
mat ebusinessbecauseI
cantfacebeingex posed.Itwontbegoodf or
me.Imi nsomef i
eldwai t
ingformydi amonds.
Theyar
ri
vein7bl
ackSUVs.Thepeopl
einsi
de
st
epout.Ohmyshit
,it
sSl
y.Sl
yhasmy
di
amonds.
Me:
Fuck!Nott
hisassagai
n.
Kay
(Khany
a):
Shi
t!Let
spr
epar
eforwar
.
Kadar(
Kamv a)
:Im noti
nthemoodf
ort
hiscr
azy
motherf
ucker.
Langa:
Sly
.Myol
dfr
iend.
Slyi
sanI ri
shman.Afuckinglunat
ic.Heli
veson
i
mpulse,hecoul dt
ell
hisguardstoshootus
nowandt hewarwoul dbegin.Hes
unpr
edictabletomanybutnotme.Ir eadhis
movement sv er
ywellandknowwhenhe' l
lstr
ike.
Butsomet i
meshecat chesmeof fguardt
oobut
i
tsveryrare.

Sl
y:Theboy
sar
eint
own.What
sup?
Me:
Youhav
emypackage.
Sl
y:Danger
,theeverst
rai
ghtt
alker
.What
packagear
ey ouonabout
?
Me:Dontfuckwi
thme,youcr
azybi
tch.You
knowwhatIm onabout
.Howmuchdidy ouget
fori
tsoIcanref
undyou?
Sl
y:Notf
orsal
e,wel
lnott
oyou.
SeewhyIhat
ethi
sbast
ard?
Me:
Dontpi
ssmeof
f.Nott
oday
.
Sl
y:Congr
atul
ati
onsont
het
wins.Ador
abl
eli
tt
le
boys.
Hee!Hest
est
ingme.ButI
llkeepmy
composur
e.
Me:
Thanks,
mydi
amonds.
Sly:
Iboughtthem sothei
rmine.St
uar
t,sol
d
them t
omef airandsquare.
Me:
Buty
ouknewt
heywer
emi
ne.
Sl
y:That
snott
hepoi
nt.
Il
augh.
Me:
Remembert
hosewor
ds.Let
sgo.
I
ml i
vi
dbutIhaveabet
terplan.I
llavenge
mysel
fandgetmymoney .Fucki
ngf oolt
hinks
heswon?Hereal
lyi
soutofhismi nd.

Thenextf ewday s,west akeoutSl ys

mov ement sandcal ls.Iknowheknowsandi s
tr
y i
ngt obl ockusoutbuti tsaf util
eat temptas
wehav eal lt
hei nfoweneed.TheMonday ,we
got oIrelandandhi jackSl ysshipment .Ithas
diamonds, cocaine, met haneand10y pung
womenr eadyt obesol dt othehi ghestbi dder
.
Im notint otraff
icking, t
hat sNel sforte.Hesa
pimpsohet akest hegi rls.Imlef twit
ht he
diamondsandcocai newhi chIsel loffand
easilymakeameasl y€150mi ll
ion(pounds) .I
guesswhoev erswai tingf ortheirorderwi llbe
pissedof fwheni tdoesntar ri
ve.Takewhat s
mi nethenwat chasIst ripy ouofev ery thi
ng.My
phoner ings, Sl
y .
Me:
Myf
ri
end
Sl
y:I
llf
ucki
ngki
l
lyouyoupig.Doyouknowhow
muchdamageypuvecausedyoubl
ackshi
t?
Me:Isai
dgivemewhat
sduet
omeandy
ou
deci
dedtogetsmar
twi
thme.
Sl
y:I
tsnotov
er.
Me:
Ohl
ett
hegamesbegi
nmyman.
.
Ihangup.Ti
metocel
ebr
atemyv
ict
orybef
ore
thewarbegi
ns.

~Thando~
Myphonepi ngsanditsamessagealert
ingme
thatR50000hasbeendepositedinmyaccount
.
IhateitwhenMeli
sizwedoesthis.Hi
mjust
throwi
ngmewi thmoneynx.Itrycall
i
nghim
anditrings.
?
:Hel
l
o?
Femal
evoi
ce,
Bri
ti
sht
oo.Di
dnthesayhesi
n
I
tal
y?
Me:
Hi.MayIspeakt
oMel
i
?
Her:
Uhm...noIthi
nkyouv
egott
hewrong
number
..
.Dee,ther
essomeonel
ooki
ngforMel
i
.
Mel
i
:Nohangupandcomeher
e.
Shehangsup.Heee!Thismot herf
uckeri
swith
anotherwoman?Inaf or
eigncountry
?Lett
ing
heranswerhisphone?Thentell
inghertohand
up?What sgoi
ngon?
Ical
l Ol
wethuaski
ngherwhentheguysare
comingback.Imakeupsomel i
eofmewant i
ng
tosupriseMel
iandnotwanti
ngtorui
nitby
aski
ng.Shetel
lsmethey'
ll
landSat
urdayandI
getready.
Fri
dayIsendmykidst othei
rgranandgiv
e
MamThi t
hit
heweekendof f.Meandmydear
husbandhavesomei ssuesthatneedt
obe
i
ronedout.I
tsFri
dayev eni
ngandIhaventsl
ept
awink.Mymi ndr
eplaysont hephonecal
l,
i
magi ni
ngal lsortsofscenariosofwhatt hey
couldvebeendoi ngf orhimtot ellhertohang
uponme.Iwontcur seatherbecauseshes
i
nnocenti nallthi
s.Shesnotmar riedt ome.Im
sitt
ingonthechai rfacingthedoor ,sippi
ngon
somev odka.If eelli
keImi naf uckenJames
Bondmov i
eandI m JamesBond.Ihearacar
pullupandI m guessingi t
shim.Heopensand
closesthedoorandhearhi slightfoot st
epsup
thestai
rs.Hecomest oourroom andwal ksi
n
andshut sthedoor .Ifl
ickert
hel amponandhe
j
umpsback.
Hi
m:Hay
iman!Doy
ouwantmyhear
ttost
op?
Il
ookathi
m,car
ryonpuf
fi
ngont heci
gar
ett
e
Iv
eli
tandsi
ponmycoldvodka.
Me:
Sowhoi
sshe?
Hel
ooksatmedumbf
ounded
Hi
m:Si
ncewhendoy
ousmoke?
Me:
Answermyquest
ion.Whoi
sshe?
I
m cal
m andcol
l
ect
ed.I
vecr
iedenough,
no
moret
earsnow.
Hi
m:Babywhat
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Whoi
sshe?
Ikeepaski
ngt
hesamequest
ionl
i
keI
minsane
Hi
m:Idontknowwhaty
our
etal
ki
ngabout
.
Me:
Real
l
y?Dontl
i
etomyf
ace.
Hi
m:Thando,
baby
,pi
nkpuf
f.
.
Heset smeof fandIt hr
owt heglassathim.It
hitsthear m blocki
nghisfaceandshat t
erson
thef l
oor.Igrabt hebott
leanddowni t.Meli
is
standingt hereshocked.Notutteri
ngasingle
wor d.Mycr azybi t
chmodehasbeenact i
vated
andunt i
l heanswer sme, shesheretostay.
[
10/
30,
13:
52]Wadz
:Goodday
..
.

£65
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Di
dshej
ustt
hrowagl
assatme?Mypi
nkpuf
f?
Her
:Mel
isi
zweMv
elase,
Iwi
l
lnotasky
ouagai
n.
WHOISSHE?
Shescalm nowpr
obablydr
ainedf
rom al
lthe
yel
li
ng.Shessobeaut
if
ulwhenshesmad.
Me:
Whoi
swho?
Her
:Thewomanwhoanswer
edy
ourphone.
Me:
Myphone?
I
m conf
usedasFuck.Whati
ssheonabout
?
Shestandsandgr absherkeysandwalksout
.I
runpastherandlockthefrontdoorandt
hen
runtotheki
tchenandlockt hatdoort
oo.
Her
:Wenzani
?
Shessocal
mit
sact
ual
l
yscar
y.
Me:
Uyaphi
?
Her:WhereIwil
lfi
ndmysani
ty.Becausecl
ear
ly
youreouttomakemecrazyandtrustme,y
ou
haventseenshi
t!
Yho!Andher
eIwast
hinki
ngSl
ywascr
azyand
i
mpulsiv
e.
Me:BabyI
m notcheat
ing.Woul
dntev
endr
eam
ofi
t.
Her
:Thenwhoansweredy
ourphone?The
womanyoutol
dtohangupandgoov ert
oyou?
Oooh!
Me:
Char
li
ze?Shesj
usta.
..anaqui
ant
ance.
Her:YoumustthinkI
mf uckenstupid!Sothi
sis
whyy ouwantedmetobeahousewi fe?Soyou
cantravel
fucki
ngall
thebitchesofthisworl
d
knowingyourpi
eceofshitwifeisathome?Rha!
Shepushespastmeandstor
msupstai
rs.Who
i
sthi
swomanandwher eismyThando?
Me:
Pinkpuf
f?
Shestopsinhertr
acksandgi v
esmeadeadl y
star
e.Yhoifl
ookscouldkill
,I
dbedeadnow.
Sheturnsandslowl
ywal ksmyway .HeyIst
art
backi
ngawayslowly,buthe!Imtheonewhos
themanhere,lethert
hrowherbestshot
.This
ti
meI mready.Iwalkt
owardsherandIthink
sheseesmyexpr essi
onandbacksaway .That
s
i
t!Goodgirl
.Shebacksupagainstt
hedoorand
Ileani
n.
Me:
Fir
stl
y,y
ouwi
l
lNEVERt
hrowany
thi
ngat
meagai
n?
Shejustl
ooksatme.It
hinkIvemetmymat ch.I
bangonthedoorwit
hmyf ist
.Shest
art
lesand
swal
lowshard.
Me:
Under
stood?
Shenods.Notat
eari
nsi
ght
.Thi
sisdef
inat
ely
notmyThando.
Her
:Youdone?
Shef
oldsherar
ms.I
m st
unned.
Her:YouWil
lNEVEREVERtel
lanyonetohang
uponme!Ort her
ewi
llbehel
ltopay.
Underst
and?
Il
ookheri
ntheey
eandgi
vehermymost
i
nti
midat
ingl
ook.Imov
ecl
oser
.
Me:
What
?
Shesay
snot
hingexceptswal
l
owhar
d.
Me:
Whoi
sthemanapha?Youorme?
Her
:What
sthat
..
.
Me:
Thando!Answermyquest
ion.
Sheswal
l
owsagai
n
Her
:You.
Me:
Good.Donty
ouf
orgett
hat
.
Shejustlooksatme,
nowor
ds,
noemot
ion,
just
heav
ybr eathi
ng.
Her:
Youaresopr
oudt
hatyounegl
ectt
osee
whatyouv
etur
nedmei
nto.
Wit
hthatshepushesmeasi
deandgoest
oour
r
oom andlocks.Si
gh.

Thenextmor
ning,
Imakeusbr
eakf
ast
,it
sti
me
thatweclearedtheair
.Ihearherf oot
steps
downt hestair
s.Shecomesi ntot hekit
chen
wearingagown, ver
yshor tshortsandsmal lt
op.
Mybr eat
hhi t
chesinmyt hroat.Damn.
Me:
Mor
ning.
Her
:Hi
.
Me:
Comeher
e.
Shest
andsatt
hedoor
wayandj
ustl
ooksatme.
Me:
MrsMv
elase.
Sher oll
shereyesandgoest osi
tonthehigh
chairs.Shelaysherheadont heki
tchenisl
e.
Probablyhungov er.If
ini
shupanddi shforthe
bothofus.Igiv eherherplat
eandshej ust
l
ooksati t.Igoaroundandt urnt
hechairaround
getinbetweenherlegs.
Me:
What
shappeni
ngher
e?
Her:Youtel
lme?Youlieandsayy oureinI
tal
y
whenclearl
yyounot?Some"aquintance"
answersyourphoneandyoutel
lhert ohangup?
Hee.
..al
lIknowthatamarr
iagebasedon
secr
etsandli
esneverl
ast
s.
Shesr
ight
.
Me:
Il
ltel
lyouev
ery
thi
ngononecondi
ti
on?
Her:
Whyisther
ealwayscondi
ti
onswit
hyou
whenyouhavetot
ell
mesomet hi
ng?
Isi
gh.
Me:Becausethi
sti
me,
itwi
l
lbeat
estoff
ait
h
onourmarri
age.

Breakfasti
squietwithmeoccasional
ly
glancingherway.May beIshoul
dtel
lher
throughsex.Thatwayshewontbesomad?No.
Letmej ustbestrai
ghtwithher.
Her
:Youdontt
rustmeorhav
efai
thi
nus.
Wher
eist
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
Me:
What
?
Her
:Isi
tbecauseI
myoung,
orwhat
?
Me:
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Her:Ev
eryt
hingmustalway
sst ar
toutwi
th
dramaandliesbefor
eyourev
ealsometrut
h.I
ts
quit
eti
ri
ngactuall
y.
Shest
andsandmakesherwaytot
hesink,butI
bl
ockherpat
handtaket
heplat
efr
om her.
Me:
Im nott
hemany
out
hinkIam
Her
:What
?
Theconf
usi
ononherf
ace.
Me:
Yeah,
Im adr
uganddi
amondsmuggl
er.
Shesaysnot
hingbutshocki
swr
it
tenal
lov
er
herf
ace.
Me:
Saysomet
hingpl
ease.
Her
:Oh.
Me:
That
sit
?
Shenods.Shescal
m,toocal
m andIdontl
i
kei
t.
Anyoneel
sewouldvepani
ckedandacte
di
ff
erent
lybutnotmydearwif
e.
Me:Babypl
ease.
..shout
,scr
eam,
rantj
ustdont
bequi
et.
Her:
Idonthav
eany
thi
ngt
osay
.Wel
l
,exceptf
or
okay.
Me:
Okay
?Noquest
ions?
Her
:Ar
eyoual
onei
nthi
sbusi
ness?
Me:
No.I
m wi
thmybr
other
sandNel
myf
ri
end.
Her
:Howl
ong?
Me:
10y
ear
s
Her
:Ist
heConst
ruct
ionbusi
nessj
ustaf
ront
?
Me:Noit
slegi
ti
mat
e.St
art
edbymyf
atherand
car
ri
edbyme.
Her
:Ist
hatwhyy
ouwentov
erseas?
Me:
Yes.Adeal
wentbadandIhadt
ofi
xit
.
Her
:Ar
emyki
dssaf
e?
Me:
Alway
s.
Shenodsandwal
ksaway
.Idontknowwhatt
o
makeofthi
s.Areweokay?I
sshemad?Icant
r
eadheremotionsandi
tspi
ssi
ngmeoff
.

~Thando~
Im notsur ewhatt odowi ththeinf ormationthat
Melisjustbest owedonmebutIknowdamn
str
aightthatI m notgoi ngtoleav eme.Butwhat
baffl
esmei showhesbeenhi dingsuchahuge
secretfrom mef orsol ong?Di dhenott r
ustme
orwashescar edIwasgoi ngt ofreakoutand
l
eav e?Am Isohar dt oapproacht hathecant
confideinme?Imeanwhat sthepoi ntofbei ng
mar ri
edify ouregoi ngt okeepsecr etsfrom the
oney oucl aimt olov e?Idontwantt ogiveupon
us,butforhi mt or atherbeendanger edanddi e
i
nsomef orei
gncount r
ythant ocomef orward
andt el
lmewhat shappeni ng?Wher edoest hat
l
eav eme?Us?Howcanwebewhenwel ack
what smosti mpor t antinarelati
onshi p,
communi cati
on?Somet hi
ngwe' vest ruggled
withf
orawhi l
ei snowgoingtobet hecauseof
ourdownfall
.Andi t
snotonlyusany more,
ther
e
areki
dsinvolved.Ihav
et othi
nkforall
ofus
now.Myt houghtsaredist
urbedbythedoor
sl
owlyopening,
Mel
i
:Baby
..
.
Il
ookup.
Hi
m:Tal
ktome
Me:
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgetdi
vor
ced.
[
10/
30,
14:
05]Wadz
:Im sl
eepysonobonus.
..

£66
~Thando~
"
No"
.
Me:
No?
Hi
m:No.Andthat
sfinal
.Whydoy oukeep
r
unni
ngi
nsteadoffi
xingt
his?Us?
Thi
smani
sreal
l
ytest
ingme.
Me: Runni
ng?Runni ng?Youwantt otal
kabout
running?Wellherei
sanexampl e,
you!Coming
homebat ter
edandbr uisedthenrunni
ngoffto
anothercountrywit
houtt el
l
ingme.
Hi
m:Idi
d!
Me: Wheny ouwereal readyt here!Thatdoesnt
count!Tellme, hadt hepl anecrashed
bendizothinikumamakho?Huh?Tel lme!What
wouldIhav epossiblysaidt oyourmot her?That
hersoni sdeadi naf oreigncount rythatIknow
nothi
ngabout ?Ordoessheknowabouty our
pri
vatebusi nesstoo?Whatwoul dIhav esaidto
ourchildren?HowwasIgoi ngtoexpl ainwhere
thei
rfatherwasandhowhegott her
e?What
wasIgoi ngt osayt oAhl umi l
e?What ?Tel lme!
Yourereckl esswenaman!Sel fi
sh!Whatabout
me?HowwasIgoi ngt ol i
vewi t
hmy self
knowingIl etyougoseei ngt hestatey ouwer e
i
n?
Im st
andingontopoft
hebed,
scr
eamingathim
andhesjuststandi
ngbyt
hedoorwi
thhishead
hanging.
Me: Im sofuckenmadaty ourightnow.Fornot
tr
ustingmeenought oletmei nanddeci def or
my self
.Wheny ouaskedf ormyhandi n
mar r
iagewhatwasi tf
or?Her eIam, walking
proudlywithmyheadhel dhi ghthinki
ngIknow
whoI m mar r
iedtobutclearlyi
tssomebi gfat
l
ie!What sthepointofusbei ngtogetherifyou
cantlayyourlif
einmyhandsasIhav esogl adly
l
aidmyl i
feinyours?Whati sthi
s?Whoar ewe?
Tear
saref
all
ingdownmyfaceandImroughl
y
wipi
ngt
hem awaywit
hthesl
eeveofmygown.
Me:I
m sodissapoint
edi
nyou.Pl
easej
ust
..
.
l
eav
emeal one..
.letmebe.
Isi
ghandf allonthebedandjustbr eat
he.He
comescloserandl ay
sbymysi deandt akesmy
hand.I
m nol ongercr
ying,j
ustquietandmy
thr
oati
spai ningfr
om screamingandshout ing.
Fel
tgoodbutIdontl
ikedoi
ngit.Idontwantt
o
bedisr
espect
ful
towardsnyhusband.
Me:Iwasnevergoi
ngtol
eave,hady
oubeen
honestwi
thmefrom t
hegetgo.
Isnat
chmyhandawayandgotothebat
hroom,
i
nsearchofl
ozengesandt
oshower
.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Thandocomesoutwr appedinatowel
andgoes
str
aighttothecloset
.Igositt
her
eonthecouch
andwat chherloti
on.
Me: I
thasnot hingtodowithtrust
.Ij
ustwant
ed
youtokeepl ivi
ngwi t
houtsubconsci
ousl
y
l
ookingov eryourshoulder
.Iwantedyoutobe
youngandf ree,notworri
edaboutwhomay
harmt hekidsory ou.
Her
:Ory
ou.
Me:Icanpr
otecty
ou.Ivebeenprotect
ingyou.I
t
rustyouwi
thmylifeandsoulbabyandt hel
ast
thi
ngIwant edtodowashur tyou.Youreall
I
l
ivefor.Thesmuggli
ngbusinesswas
somet hi
ngIwassuckedintoyearsagoandno
mat t
erhowmuchIt ryt
or unfr
om it,i
talways
catchesupwi t
hme.Im sorr
yforgetti
ngy ou
i
ntomymessyl if
ebuty
oucantl eaveme.Ineed
youandmyki ds.
Istandbehi
ndherandwrapmyar msaround
hersmallwai
standkissheronherbar
e
shoulder
.Shesmell
sgood.
Me:
Im sor
ryandIl
ovey
ou.
Shesmilesandturnstofaceme.Shewr
apsher
armsaroundmyneckandgi v
esmeahug,the
towel
wr appedaroundherfal
li
ngt
othef
loor.
Me:
Promi
sey
ouwontl
eav
e.
Her
:Ipr
omi
se.Nomor
esecr
ets?
Me:
Nomor
e.
Iwrapmyar
msaroundhert
ight
erandki
ssher
somemoreonherneck.
Wipi
ngmytear
s,Iki
ssheronherl
i
psandsmi
l
e
downather
.
Me:
Your
equi
tet
hedr
amaqueen.
Her:Youbestbel
i
evei
t.I
m amot
hernowand
wif
e,mykidscomefir
st.
Me:
Hai
bo!Whataboutme?
Her
:Yout
oonj
e.
Ismi
l
eandl
ookathernakedness.
Her
:Ij
ustshower
ed.
Me:
So?
Sher
oll
sherey
esandt
urnsar
ound.
Her:Youknow,whenyousai
d,y
ounottheman
Ithi
nkyouare,
Ithoughty
ouweregoi
ngtosay
youregay
.
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.Hai
bo?
Her
:Youl
aughnowbutIwasal
readypani
cki
ng,
t
hinki
ngaboutal
lthegoodsext
hatwasgoi
ng
t
ogof rom myl
if
e.
I
minst
it
ches.Ther
esmypi
nkpuf
f.
Me:Wel
l
...Il
ovey
ourv
agi
nat
oomucht
obe
gay
.
Her:Pi
ty,
itwoul
dveexpl
ainedy
ourobsessi
ve
behavi
ourtowar
dsmyass.
Il
aughoutl
oud.
Me:I
sitwr
ongofmet
owant
oexpl
oreal
lyour
av
ail
abl
eholes?
Shel
etsoutahugel
augh.
Her
:Yho!
Me: Andbesides,
ther
esj
ustsomethi
ngabout
yourassthatmakesmelosefocus.
Igrabherbum andshesqueal
s.Wit
hmyl eft
hand,Ipul
lhercl
osertomeandwiththeother,
mov eitar
oundandplaywit
hhernooki
e.She
thr
owsherheadbackandmoans
Her
:Fuckmesensel
ess.
..
Andt
hat
sexact
lywhatIi
ntendt
odo.
.

~Thando~
Imlist
eningtoMel i
sizweshear tbeatandhis
softsnores.Iwonderhowheendedupwher e
heisnow?DoIdar et oevenaskhi m?Tobe
honest,myl i
fei
sforev erchangedfrom thi
s
pointon.IwishIdidntknow.Butkenot hi
ng
stayshiddenforev
er
Hi
m:What
swr
ongbaby
?
Me:
Not
hing.Sl
eep.
Hi
m:Tal
ktomemyangel
.
Me:
Im scar
ed.
Hi
m:ButI
m pr
otect
ingy
ounj
e.
Me:
Cany
oul
etmef
ini
sh?
Hehuf
fsandnods
Me: Idontdoubtyouprotecti
ngus.Ihaveno
reasonandwi l
lnever.I
m scaredforyou.What
i
fsomet hinghappenstoy ou?Icantl
osey ou
baby.Notnow, notever.Il
oveyoumadal awam
andlosingyouwi l
lbethedeathofme.Dont
makemedi eplease
Hi
m:I
mfi
nenj
e.
Me:
Butwhospr
otect
ingy
ou?
Hi
m:You!
Me:
How?
Hi
m:Bypr
ayi
ngf
orme.
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
Howdoy
ouknowIpr
ayf
ory
ou?
Hesmi
l
esandshr
ugs
Hi
m:Icanf
eel
it.
Ismil
eandshi
ftt
olayont
opofhi
m,ki
ssi
nghi
s
tor
so.
Me:
Tel
lmeabouty
our
sel
f
Hi
m:Hai
boy
ouknowev
ery
thi
ngaboutmenj
e
Me:
No.Theot
herguy
.
Hel
aughs.
Hi
m:Oh.
..Hi
.Im Danger
.
Me:
Danger
?WhyDanger
?
Him:I
m aloosecanon.Iactonimpul
seand
anger
.It
sfrom myyoungerdays.Whent
hisguy
thr
eat
enedmyf amil
yandIshothim.
Igasp
Hi
m:Onhi
sleg.Kneecap.
Heburstsoutlaughi
ng.Idontknowwhethert
o
j
oininorrunforthehil
l
s.Laughterwi
ns
becauseIfi
ndny sel
fcracki
ngup.
Me:
AndIt
houghtI
m cr
aycr
ay!

I
ml ay
ingonthecarpet
,eat
ingpizzaand
dr
inki
ngwinewithmyman.I minheaven.
Mondaysevent
scomet omi ndandIfi
ndmysel
f
l
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:What
sfunny
?
DoIdaretellhim?No.Thenthatwi
llgi
vehi
m
goodreasonf ormetostopworki
ng.NopeI
ll
handl
eBr i
tneymy sel
f.
Hi
m:I
m st
il
lwai
ti
ng.
Me:Theyshoul
dvecal
ledy ouKil
l
er.Causey
ou
beki
ll
ingmypussyman!Yhuuy amt yaumnt
u
Meli
sizweMvel
aseandinabhongo.(
Youcan
chowmeshame.Wow! )
Helaughssohar deventhrowinghi
sheadback.
I
veneverhear dMeli
sizwelaughli
kethi
sandI
l
oveitthatit
smemaki nghimlaughl
ikethi
s.
Gooddiversi
on.
Hi
m:Hai
boPi
nkpuf
f?
Me:Yeah.Icanst
il
lfeel
youwhenIsi
torwalk
orl
augh.Yhonomor e.We'
regoi
ngcel
ibat
e.
Him:Yhu!Nev
er.Umnandi
kangaka(
yout
oo
del
ici
ous)!
Igi
ggl
eandblush.Tot
hinkIwasaboutt
oleav
e
thi
smannotsolongago.
Ist
raddl
ehi
m andst
artgr
indi
nghi
m.
Hi
m:Your
est
art
ing.
Me:
CantIdancef
ormyman?
Him:ooowi
!Her
ecomesmyr
ider
.Byt
heway
youowemenewJeans.
Ist
op
Hi
m:Dontst
op
Me:No.Howmanyunder
wearsofminehav
e
yout
orn?Dr
essest
oo?Yhuunever
!
Hi
m:ButIal
way
srepl
acet
hem
Me:
Onl
ytor
ipt
hem apar
tagai
n.
Hechuckl
es.Thenst
opsandl
ooksmedeepi
n
myeyes.
Hi
m:Pr
omi
senomor
erunni
ng?
Me:
Nomor
erunni
ng.
Hi
m:Pi
nkyswear
?
Igi
ggl
eandl
ockmypi
nkywi
thhi
sandnod
Me:
Pinkyswear
.
Hi
m: Good.Nowwhatwer
eyousay
ingabout
t
hataddict
ivepussy
?
Ismil
eandbit
emybot t
om l
i
p.Makeupsex
wit
hMelisi
zwethough.
.
[
10/
30,
14:
06]Wadz
:Goodmor
ning.
..

£67
~Mel
i
sizwe~
It
searl
ySundaymor ni
ngandIcantsl
eep.
Thandoswordshauntme.Icoul
dvediedand
shewouldnthav
eknownshit.Ormykids
wouldvebeenki
dnappedandwherewouldthat
haveputus?
Her
:Sl
eepmybaby
.
Ipul
lheri
ncl
oserandcl
osemyey
es.Ir
eal
l
y
wassel
fi
sht hust
imearound.Leavi
ngherinthe
dar
ktofacemysinsalone.Shewouldvehated
meforl
ifeIknowit.Whatwouldshehadsaidto
mymother?Whatwoul dmyfamilyhav
esaidt o
her
?
Her
:Nanawam?
Me:
Hmm?
Her
:What
swr
ong?
Me:Cantsl
eep.Imthi
nki
ngaboutwhaty
ousai
d.
AndIm sor
rybaby.
Her
:It
sokay
.Youhady
ourr
easons
Me:
Butst
il
l.Letmemakei
tupt
oyou?
Shet
urnsov
erandl
aysonmychest
Her
:Youdi
d.Al
ot.
Il
augh.
Me:Notli
ket
hat.Li
kei
napr
operway
.Takey
ou
outorsomet
hing?
Her
:Youdonthav
eto.
Me:
Please.
Her
:Okay
.Not
hingf
ancy
.
Ther
essi
l
encebet
weenus.
Her
:Tat
abo?
Me:
Mm?
Her:
CanIaskonel
astquest
ionr
egar
dingt
he
ot
hersi
de?
Me:
Youcanaskasmanyasy
oul
i
ke.
Her
:Wel
l
...doy
ou.
.uhm.
..ei
sh.
..
Me:
Goaheadbaby
.
Her
:Idontknowhowt
oask.
Me:
Justsayi
tli
kei
tis.
Shesighsandki
ssesmytorso.Hersoftl
ips
agai
nstmyhardchestmakesmesmi le.She
ki
sseswherethetat
tooi
s.
Her
:Doy ouhav
etr
acker
sandst
uffonmeand
t
hekids?
Me:
Yes.
Shesi
tsup.
Her
:Real
l
y?
Me:
Ofcour
se.
Her
:Onourcl
othesandst
uff
.
Me:
Uhm.
..ki
ndof
.
Her
:ohokay
.
Sil
ence.Im sur
eThandoi sv eeycuriousabout
myot herli
febutdoesntknowhowt oaskandI
dontwanthert oknowt oomuch.I t'
llcausea
ri
ftbetweenus.Illt
akehert oTableMount ain
forthedayandl etusenjoyeachot hers
companybef oregoingbackt oworkt omor row.
Im sotir
ed,andThandossl eepingpeacef ull
y
besideme.

~Thando~
Thet
imewespendatTabl
eMount
aini
s
phenomonal .HehadMi Casacomepl ayf orus
andIwasbey ondhappy .Idancedwi t
handf or
him, l
aughedandj usthadacar efr
eedaywi th
myman.I twasi ncr edibl
e.Justf ortoday ,I
wasntThandot hemom, orwi fe,orcar eer
woman.Iwasj ustmeandIl ov edi t
.Butnowi t
s
ti
met obur stt hebubbl eandf ocusont henow.
Thel i
feIhav e.WhoknewI dbeagangst ers
wife?Hay imyl i
feisj ustfill
edwi thdramaandi t
seemst hatit snotaboutt oendsoon.Mel it
ol d
met hatt heirmom doesntknowandt heydlike
tokeepi tt hatway .SoIguessi twasj ustme
andhi smom butnotany mor e.Ilookov erto
him andt hinkabouthowf arwe' v
ecomet oget
wher ewear eandIwi shwecoul dstayl i
kethi s
forever.Butl ifeisnotsetupt hatway ,soi t
s
besttoenj oyt hehi ghsanddeal wit
ht helows.I
stret
chov erandbr ushhi sthigh.Taki nghi s
hand, Ikisst hebackandl ayitonmyf aceand
closemyey esf oracoupl eofseconds, i
nhaling
hisintoxicatingcol ogne.
Hi
m:Somebodyi
sinl
ove.
Me:
Iam.
Hi
m: Iguessthatmakestwoofus.Onl
y
di
ff
erenceis,Ikeepfal
l
ingf
ormypersonwi
th
ev
erydaythatpasses.
Ibl
ushsohard.Howcut
e.Wegethomeand
we'
regreet
edbytheboy
sandMam'Thi
thi
.
Me:
Himamzo.
Her
:Hi
baby
.
Me:
Takeoutokay
?
Her
:yesy
hu!
Igi
ggleandgot othebedroom whereIfind
Meli
sizwewalkingaroundshi
rtl
ess.Igoov er
andkisshusbar echest
.Hisbodyjustexci
tes
mewhenev erIlookatit
.Hestheulti
mat edark
chocolat
edippedincaramel.
Me:
Im get
ti
ngat
att
ooonmyass.
.
Hi
m:Nev
er!Any
wher
ebesi
desmychowbunni
es.
Il
aughatt
henameheuses.WhatcanIdot
o
hi
m?Thenamesthough

Myphoner i
ngsanditsThandi
we.Ilookov
ert
o
Melir
eadingthenewspaper
.Grabbingmy
phoneIruntothebathr
oom andlock.
Me:
Mah?
Her
:Heycany
out
alk?
Me:
Kanci
nci
.
Her
:We'
rer
eadyt
ogof
ornextweekend.
Me:Thanky
ou.I
llj
ustneedadi
ver
sion.Howi
s
Bl
essi
ngandAmor?
Her
:Theymi
ssy
oual
ot.Oh.
.her
esAmor
.
Amor
:Hel
l
osi
si.
Me:
Mybaby
.Myl
ove.
Her:
Whydonty
oucomeher
eany
mor
e?Wher
e
ar
etheboy
s?
Me:I
llcometomorr
owandbri
ngtheboys.They
mi
ssyou, Imi
ssyousomuch.Il
oveyou.
Bl
essi
ng:
Lov
eyou.
Me:
Heyboo.Lov
eyout
oonana.
Amor
:lov
eyout
ooby
e.Seey
out
omor
row.
Thecal
lcut
sandIpeet
hengobackt
ohi
m.
Hi
m:Andt
hen?
Me:Nothi
ng.JustThandiandt
heki
ds.We'
re
sl
eepi
ngtheretomorrow.
Hegi
vesmet
hesi
deey
e.
Hi
m:Why
?
Me:Haibo?Theymi
ssusandIneedt
otal
kto
Thandi
.
Hi
m:About
?
Isi
gh.Thei
nter
rogat
ion
Me:Li
fe,
love,
sex,
justamotheranddaught
er
bondi
ngsessi
on.I
cecream,
cookies,
cake,f
att
y
f
oods.
Hi
m:Mmmm.
..
Heshif
tsandpi
nsmedownont
hebed.Hi
m
andIarenoset
onose.
Him:
Ifyouev
ercheatonme, I
llki
l
lyourl
over
andl
ockyouint
hishouse.Youhear?
Het
hinkshef
ri
ght
ensme.
Me:
YesMel
i
sizwe.
Isayannoyed.WhywouldIcheat?That
sjust
unnecessar
ypressur
eandMel i
sizweal
ready
doesmet oogoodandhard.
Hi
m:I
m bei
ngser
ious.
Me:
Iknow.Yousocut
ewheny
our
ejeal
ous.
Ipeckhi
m andbi
tehi
sbot
tom l
i
pandpul
l
.
Me:
Yourl
i
psar
esosof
t.
Him:I
tsbecauset
hey
rebei
ngbi
tt
enandsucked
andpul
led.
Me:
Il
lst
opt
hen.
Hi
m:Idi
dntsayso.
.
Me:mmmm.
..suka,
uyasi
nda(
mov
eyour
e
heav
y)!
Hi
m:Nomi
dni
ghtsnack?
Me:
Yhu.Ha.
anoI
m bey
ondt
ir
ed.
Hemov
esandIcur
lupandpassout
.

It
sWednesdayandIm wor
kinghal
fday
becauset
hebosssai
dsosinceshewasgoing
toJhbtosubmi
ttheaudi
tsIhaddone.Mybaby
call
sme
Me:
Tat
abo?
Hi
m:ComeI
m wai
ti
ng.
Me:
okay
.
Icamewithhimtoworkthi
smorni
ng.IwishI
didnt
.Iwant
edtousetodayasanoppot
unityt
o
gocheckonproceedi
ngsathi
smomshouse.I
walkdownstair
sandtohiscar.Hewhi st
les
whenheseesmeandIbl ush,catwal
king
towardshi
m.WhenIgettohim, Ispi
nf orhi
m,
givi
nghim af
ullvi
ewofwhatbelongstohi m.
Hi
m:Damnmami
e.
Me: Iknow.Bestbeonyourbestbehavi
ous
becausethisbootybedr
ivi
ngmencr azy
.
Hechuckl
esandpul
l
smetohi
m.Grabbi
ngmy
bum,hepi
nsmybodyonhi
sandl
eansinfora
ki
ss.
Him:Noonebutmegetst
otast
ethi
s.Li
key
ou
oncesai
d,t
hatpussyi
smi
ne.
Heki ssesmesosweet l
yandpullsaway.He
smacksmybum, maki
ngmey elpandopensmy
door.Her eal
l
yispossesi
veoverme, i
tsl
ikeI
m
hi
sf avouri
tedrug.Heget
sinhissideandwe
dri
veof f.
Hi
m:Youhungr
y?
Me:
No.
Hegi vesmet hesi deey eandsay snot hi
ng.
Instead, heki
ssesmyhandanddr ivesoutof
CapeTownt owar dsSt el
li
es.Andt hen?Wear e
headedf orHelshoogt ebuthemakesat ur nint
o
thef orestanddr i
v esin.It
squitefarandv ery
greenandpeacef ul ,
Ilikeit
.Butinthesame
note, I
m scared.Whyi shet aki
ngmeher e.We
stopi nthemi ddleofnowher eandheget sout .
Anot hercarpul l
supbehi ndusandadar k, buff
mandr essedinasui tcomesout .Mel i
sizwe
comest omysi deandopensmydoor .He
bendsandchangesmyheel swithsneaker sand
givesmeheadphones.
Hi
m:Let
sgo.

Idontknowwhattomakeofthis.I
m
i
ntimidat
edbyal
loft
hisbutIhavetobest
rong.
Icantshowmysel
fasweak.
Him:Al
waysaimfort
hehead.I
tsdoordi
e.Ki
l
l
orbeki
ll
ed.I
tst
hatsi
mple.
Ihuffandli
fttheheav ygunandaimi tatthe
headofthepuppet .Onet hi
ngrunsthroughmy
mind:myki ds.Iimaginethepuppetholdi
ngmy
ki
dsandIj ustloseit.I
m shooti
ngwithfocus,
wit
hapangofi nsanityr
unningthr
oughmy
mind.Idontdar efl
inchorbli
nk.Focusand
agi
li
ty.
Hi
m:Baby
?
It
urnt
ohi
m
Hi
m:Wow!Ev
ershotbef
ore?
Me:
No.
Hi
m:Wel
lthatwaspr
oshi
t.
Hepicksmeupandspi nsmear ound.Igi
ggl
e
l
ikealit
tl
eschoolgi
rl.Theeffecthehasonme?
Crazy
.Theotherguyi ssmili
ngtoo.Hessocute.
Defhookhim upwithErin.Onceheletsgoof
meIgoov ertotheotherguy.
Me:
Hi.
Hi
m:Hel
l
oBossLady
.
Me:No,
Thando.NotBossLady
.Notnow,
not
ev
er.
Hesmi
l
esandnods
Hi
m:Ti
do.
Iext
endmyhandandheshakesi
t.
Me:
Howl
ongy
ouv
eknownDanger
?
Hesmi
l
es
Hi
m:5y
ear
s.
Me:
Wow.Sol
ong?
Henods
Me:
Youmar
ri
ed?
Thequest
ionbur
stsoutofmymout
h.
Hesmi
l
esandshakeshi
shead.
Me:
Why
?
Hi
m:Uhm.
..Hav
entmett
her
ightgi
rl
.
Inod.ThenlookoveratMel
iwhosshoot
ing
str
aightwi
thfocus.
Me:
Wow.Sot
hisi
swhaty
out
wodo?
Henods
Hi
m:Yesma'
am.
Me:
Oh.Her
e,Iwantt
oseey
oushoot
.
Hetakesthegunandshoot sfrom wher
ewe're
st
anding,
pastMelisi
zweont othedummy .I
m
st
unned.Meli
sizweturnsandfrownsandIstick
mytongueoutathim.Hesmi l
es
Ti
do:
Int
hisl
i
fe,
onl
yaf
ewpeopl
efi
ndt
ruel
ove.
Me:Nope.Onlyi
fyoul
eti
tfi
ndy
ouanddont
f
orcei
t,ever
yonecanfi
ndit
.
Hi
m:Notl
i
key
out
wo.
Me:Wewerentl
iket
hisbefor
e.Butthen,
wej
ust
l
etwhatwefeel
takeoverandthat
showwe'r
e
sohappy
.
Henodsandi
fIm notmi
staken,
takesnot
e.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Istret
choutmybody .Fredisstandinghighand
proud,allt
hatsneededi smydear estwife.
Wher eisshe?Igetupandwal ktot he
bathroom,nother e.Strange.Thehousei sso
sil
ent.Mybi ggestfearcomest omi ndandI
grabmygunf rom undert hedressingtableand
goout .Iwalktotheki dsroom, noone.
Mam' Thit
hisroom, noone.Igodownst ai
rsand
theresnotasi ngl
esoul .Buttheresanot e
'
Goneoutfori
cecream.Di
dntwanawakey a.
Br
eakf
astsint
hemi cr
o.Welov
ey ou'
.Theres
al
so4li
tt
lehandsonthepaper
.Howcut e.
Ical
l Tidowhosurpr
isi
nglyi
sntansweri
ng.Hee?
Ical
l mybrother
s.They'
real
sonotpicki
ngup.
Thef uck?Isi
tandeatmybreakfastt
hengo
upstair
sandshower.WhenIcomeoutIhav e8
missedcallsfr
om dad,mom andmybr other
s.I
cal
ldad
Dad:
Mel
i
sizwe.Gether
enow.
Me:
What
swr
ong?
Hi
m:Not
imet
oex
plai
n.Comenow.
Hehangsup.Mustbehect i
c.Iwearcasual
clot
hesandr ushhome.Therearealotofcar s
parkedoutside.Shi
t.Di
dsomeonedie?Ir unto
thefrontdoorandopen.It
ssobeautif
ulinside.
What sthi
s?
Mama:Mel
isi
zwe.Yhuuy
alal
asuka(
youcan
sl
eepy
hu).
Me:
Hehake!Whatdi
dyoucal
lmef
or?
Her
:Not
imet
oex
plai
ngoupst
air
s.
Ti
docomest
hroughandt
akesmeupst
air
s
Me:
Bra
Hi
m:Boza.
Igetint
omomsr oom andmybr other
spullme
i
n,dressi
ngmei ntoasuit.I
tsquit
eaf i
ght
becausetheyarepushingandpulli
ngme.They
si
tmedownandLangabr ushesmybear dand
combsmyhai r.SometimesIthinkhesgay
causehecanst yl
ehairshame.
Me:
What
sgoi
ngon?
Them:
Not
ime.
Theytakemedownst airsandwewal kthr
ough
totheout sudeareawher efi
ndal otofpeople
seatedandl ooki
ngatme.Ther est hepastor
thereandKhany aandKamv astandingthere
too.Istandtheretoo.Wai t
,ist
hishappening
now?Today smyweddi ngday ?
[
10/30,
14:
07]Wadz:Ifuckenhat
eVodacom.
4t
htimepost
ingnow..
.

£68
~Thando~
EttaJames-AtLastinst
rument al
scomeon,
thatsmyque.Dav i
disstandingbesi
demewi th
puffyeyes.Hesbeencryi
ngev ersi
ncehesaw
mei nmydr essbuti
tsnothingcomparedto
whenIaskedhi mtogivemeaway .Hebal
led
fordays.Malumesaidhecoul dntmakei
tas
Oluhlewasgr aduati
ngfr
om UoFS.Yeahshe
tr
ansferredtheresometimebackbutthat
sa
storyforanotherday.
Iinhaleandst artwalki
ngwi t
hDav idholdingmy
hand.AssoonasIst epoutandt urnthecor ner,
Mel i
smi l
es.Ther earetear st umblingdownhi s
faceashi sattemptatwi pingt hem fail
s.Thisis
i
t.Wef i
nall
yhav ingourweddi ng,t
iei
ngt heknot
andpr oclai
mingourl ovef oreachot her.I
want edthistobeasur pr isesowhat everhe
sayshemeans.Becausemyv owsar ejustas
unplannedashi s.Iwal
kmi ndingmyst epasmy
eyesar eblur
redf rom t
het ears.Ifinal
lyreach
theal t
erandthankDav id.Mel it
akesmyhand
andsmi l
esatme.Hi stear shav efinal
lystopped
buthi ssl
eevei ssoaked.Gosh.
Hi
m:*whi
sper
ing*y
our
esobeaut
if
ulandsneaky
t
oo.
Igi
ggl
eandbl
owaki
ssathi
m.
Thepast
orpr
oceedesandt
heni
tsoutt
urnf
or
t
hev
ows.Shi
t,mef
ir
st.
Me: MelisizweMv elase,Tatawabant wanabam,
themanwhohol dsmyhear tandsoul ,todayI
givemyal l t
oy outoholdandkeepf orev er.I
promiset obeher efory out hroughthickand
thi
n,throught hebadandt hegood, t
ol ov eyou
evenwhenI m angry,tocar efory ou,tofeedy ou,
holdusdownwhent hi
ngsgetr ough, t
opl ace
myl i
feiny ourhandst ot akecar eofus.We' ve
beent hroughhellandmadei tthroughbecause
herewear e.Youmakemesmi lewhenIdont
wantt o,blushwhenI m noti nt hemoodandf all
foryouev enwhenIdontwantt otal
ktoy ou.I
l
ov eyouandpr omiset odosount i
ltheendof
ti
me.

Past
or:
Yho!Suchpower
ful
wor
ds,
wil
lyoube
abl
etofol
l
owndoda?
Mel
ismi
l
esandi
handhi
m at
issue
Hi
n:Pi
nkpuf
fyam,
Gosht
hisname.Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
Him: Thandol wam, mybegi nni ngandend.
Wher edoIbegi nt oexpl ainwhati feelf
ory ou?
Youl ovedmeev enwhenIcoul dntlovemy sel f.
Youwer et heref ormewhenIpushedy ouaway
andhel dmecl oser .It houghtIwasntdeser v i
ng
ofyouandIst i
lldo.Youmakemeabet t
erman
andl earnt olov e.Ilov ey ouandonl yyouwi thal l
thatIam andwi lleverbe.It hankGodev ery day
forbr i
ngingy oubackt ome, becauseIhonest ly
woul dstillbel ostwi t
houty ou.Thanky ouf or
thebeaut i
fulboy sy ouv eblessedmewi thandI
hopet hatwe' l
l hav emor esomedaysoon.Your e
allt
hatIl ivef orandcont inuet ol i
vefor.Wit hout
you, I
ml ifeless.Iwi l
lmakey oumadand
somet imescr y ,butt rustmeIdontmeant o.I
willprotecty oual way sandev enwhenIf ai
l to,
Il
ltr
yhar der.Ipr omi set obef aithfultoonlyy ou,
toshar emyhopesanddr eamswi thyou,
suppor ty ouiny ourf utureendeav oursandwi pe
awayanyt earsy oumayhav e.Ilovey ouThando
l
wam f
orev
erev
eni
ntot
heaf
terl
i
fe.
Past
or:Yho!Hay
ither
esnothi
nglef
tformet o
sayexceptf
ormayIhavetheri
ngsplease.
Amorhandsustheri
ngs,l
ooki
ngsocut
einhi
s
l
it
tl
etuxedo.Soador
abl
e.
Past
or:
Repeataf
terme
Wit
hthisr
ing,
IThandokaz
iNqumbo,
promi
se
tol
oveandhonourourmari
tal
commit
ment
unt
ilt
heendofti
me.
IrepeatandslideMel i
sringinandhedoest he
same.Thent hepast orsayswecanki ss.You
shouldveseenMel i
sizwe.Itwasl ikehecouldnt
wai t
,thewayhepul l
edmei nandki ssedmef or
thelongestti
me, f
orgetti
ngt hattherewere
otherpeoplewatching.Thepast orclearshis
throatandIpushhim back, onlyforhimt obit
e
mybot t
om l
ip.Heey ho!
Past
or:
Yhu!Igi
vey
ouMrandMr
sMv
elase.
Atthetable,
Mel i
sizweisbeingsonaughtyyhu.
I
fhesnott ry
ingtof i
ngermei nmylongA-li
ne
dr
ess,hesbiti
ngmeear ,ki
ssi
ngmycheek,
whi
sper i
nginmyeart el
l
ingmehowbadl yhe
wantsme, bit
ingmybot tom li
p.Yhuubusyman!
Me:
Youknowt
her
ear
eli
tt
leki
dsher
e?
Hi
m:So?Lett
hem seewhatt
ruel
ovel
ooksl
i
ke.
Ishakemyheadandj
ustsmi
l
e,gi
vi
ngup.
Hi
m:Let
sdi
tch.
Me:Noit
sourweddi
ng.I
t'
ll
ber
udeofust
ojust
upandgo.
Hi
m:Exactl
y.I
tsOURweddi
ng.Wecandowhat
wewant.
Me: Soyoudontwantt
ohav et
hefi
rstdance
withme?Oranythi
ng?Justmypussy?Mxm I
dontknowwhyIt r
ywhenclear
lyI
mj ustasex
toyandbabymakingmachine.
Ist
andupandaskQambatothebathr
oom.
WhycantmeandMelij
ustbehappywit
hout
fi
ght
ing?Justonedayi
nthewholefuckeny
ear
?
Ihuf
fandgot other
oom andchange.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Si
gh.
..whatcanIsay
?
Mama:What
sgoi
ngon?Whyar
eyout
wo
f
rowni
ng?
Me:
Not
hingwecantf
ix.
Mama: Wellfi
xitf
ast.Shewentalloutf
oryou,
dontbeself
ishandruinitf
orher.Thi
sisher
fi
rstwhit
ewedding,doalli
ttakestomakeher
happy.Okay?
Inod.Shesright
.Ineedtost
epupnow.Igetup
andgol ookforher
.Shesnoti
nthebat
hroom
butlucki
lyIbumpintoQue
Me:
Hey
.Thando?
Her:Hi
.Uhm.
..bedr
oom It
hink.Thef
ir
stoneI
t
hink.
Me:
Thanx.
Shesmilesandwal
ksoff.Iknockonthedoor
andopen.Shesweari
ngashor terwhi
tedr
ess
thatdr
awsoutherbeaut
ifulshape.Mywoman
kodwa.
Me:
Hi.
Her
:Hey
.Cany
ouzi
pmeup?
Iwal
koverandzi
pherup,
kissi
ngheronher
bar
eshoul
der.
Me: Youlookbreatht
aki
ng.Thanky
ouf orall
of
thi
s.Im happythatyour
emineandIm sorryfor
bei
ngsel f
ish.
Her
:It
sokay
.
Me:I
tsnot
.YouremywomanandIshoul
ddo
what
everi
ttakest
oputy
oufi
rst
.
Shesmi
l
esandhugsmet
ight
ly.
Her
:Il
ovehowy
ourar
mswr
apar
oundme.
Me:
Theywer
emeantf
ory
ou.
Shegiggl
esandbl
ushes,
hidi
ngherf
acei
nmy
chest
.
Her
:Ohno!
Il
ookdownatherandshr
ug.
Her
:Ist
ainedy
ourbeaut
if
ulshi
rt
.
Me:I
tsokay
.Aslongast
heyfr
om y
ou.Let
sgo
andenj
oyourweddi
ngPi
nkpuf
f.
Shesmi
l
es
Her
:Iguesst
hisnamei
sher
etost
ay.
Inodandwr iggl
emyey ebrows.Sheshakesher
headandgoest ot heclosetandcomesoutwi t
h
anothershi
rt.I
tsniceman, blackwi thprint
son
i
tandGucci shoest omat ch.Iqui cklychange
andlookatmy self
.Shet akesoutherphone
andtakesaf ewsel f
iesofus.Posi nginal l
sor
ts
ofpositi
ons,well
Im mai nlyjustst andingand
smil
ingwhi l
eshetur nsthi
swayandt hatway
andholdsme.I t
sal otbutIl oveit.Wet hen
walkout,handinhandandsmi l
i
ng.
I
tsfi
nallyti
meforourf i
rstdance, andIknow
Thandocanmov esoI m sort edunli
keYonela
wherewehadt opr act
iseal otjustsoshecan
gettheslowdancer i
ght.Icantbel i
evethi
sis
myfirstdancewithThando, consideri
ngthisi
s
oursecondmar r
iageandal sospont aneous.I
wonderwhatsongshechose, butitdoesnt
matter,asl
ongast hesongsay swhat si
nour
hear
t sri
ght?
Boy s2Men-
ColorofLov ecomesonandmyf ace
spli
tsint
oashi t-
eati
nggrin.Thandor eal
ly
l
istenstome, IoncetoldherIm ahugef anand
heresheis,pl
ay i
ngoneoft heirsongs.We
makeourwayt othedancef loorandIholdher
closetome, t
henst ar
tmov ing.Sheeasil
y
foll
owsmyl ead,lay
ingherheadonmychest .
Me:
Ilov
eyoubaby
.
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
Me:
Noy
oudontunder
stand,
butsomedayy
ou
wi
l
l.Iwi
l
llaymyl
i
fef
ory
ou.
Shesmilesandatearescapesherey
e,Iwipei
t
awaythenkisshersodeli
catel
y.Myfav
ouri
te
par
tofthesongcomesonandIf i
ndmy sel
f
si
ngingtoher

"
Sogi
rlIwantt
othanky
ou
Icantt
hanky
ouenough
Forshowi
ngmet
hemeani
ng
Themeani
ngoft
ruel
ove
(
WhenIwaslostandsoi
nneed,
youopenedup
y
ourhear
t)
(WhenIneededy
out
ocomf
ortme,
youopened
upyourar
ms)
(Icoul
dntf
aceant
herday
,yousai
ddontbe
afrai
d)
Youshowedmyhear
tthe,
showedmet
heway
Iknowt
hecol
ourofl
ove
I
tli
vesi
nsi
deofy
ou
Iknowt
hecol
ouroft
rut
h
I
tsi
nthei
mageofy
ou
I
fitcomesf
rom t
hehear
t
Theny
ouknowt
hati
tst
rue
I
twi
l
lcol
oury
oursoul
li
kear
ainbow
Andt
hecol
ourofl
ovei
siny
ou"

Bynowshewaspr acti
call
ysobbi
ngandsowas
I.WhatIf eelforThandocannnotbefakedor
force.NowIunder st
andwhatShakespeare
meantwhenhewr otesonnet116,becausei
n
thi
smoment ,asIgazeintomywomans
beaut i
fulgreeneyes,Ifeelsomet
hing
unex pl
ainablebuil
dinginsi
deofmeand
consumi ngme.
~Thando~
Theweddingcouldnthav egoneanybet ter
.I
guessmeandMel i
smi niargumentiswhat
madet hedayspectacularbecausehekindof
changed.Hebecamesof terandlov
ing.Idont
knowhowt odescri
bei tbutitwaslikehe
becamesomeoneel se,amanI vealways
thoughthecoul
dbe.Sosof tandlovingand
warm, i
tmakesmegi ddy.
HeyIshoul dgocheckonmybabi es.HereIam,
enjoyi
ngmy sel
fli
keanewl ywedwi thno
responsibi
li
ty.Gett
ingup, Imakemywayt o
Simsr oom upstai
rsandt omysur pri
sethere
aretwobi gmenguar dingthedoor ,shaki
ngmy
headIopent hedoor.They resleepingso
soundly,al
lofthem.Mam' Thi
thiisalsoresti
ng
withAmorandJai (
Ahl umile)onherl ap.How
sweet.Iclosethedoorandsmi leatthetwo
gentl
emen.
Me:
Hi.
Theynodandl
ookahead.Wow!Somuch
host
il
it
y.
Myf eetar ekil
l
ingme, Ithi
nkf lat
swi l
l do.Igoto
Mel i
sol droom insearchforpumpsorsandal s.
Igot omybagandsear chf orthem.OnceIf i
nd
them, Isitonthebedandt akemyst r
apheel s
off,sl
owl ybecauseitfeelslikemyf eetar e
gluedt othem.Ouch!Myphonev i
bratesunder
meandIt akei
tout.It
samessage.Openi ngit
,
i
tr eads
'Cantwaittohavethatj
uicypussyinmymout h.
Justthethoughtofitmakesmel oseallsenses.
Enjoyyourweddingwhil
eitlast
s,becauseIm
comingforyouandIi nt
endtomakey oucum. '
I
tsfr
om apr
ivat
enumber
.Fuck.Whocoul
dthi
s
be?
[
10/
30,
14:
07]Wadz
:Net
wor
kpr
obl
ems.
..

£69
~Thando~
Anot
hermessagecomest
hrough.
'
Youlooksodamnfinei
nthatshor
tdress.You
real
l
yareabeaut
if
ulwomanandIwi l
lloveyou
bett
ert
hanhecan.Youj
ustneedtoseeitand
soonyouwil
l
.'
Whatt
hefuck.Mel
i
sizwecomesi
nandhi
s
smi
lef
adeswhenheseesmine.
Hi
m:What
swr
ongbabe?
Isi
ghandshowhi
mthemessages.
Me:
Idontknowwhot
hiscoul
dbe.
Melisizwecrushesmyphonewi
thhishand.
Fuck.Heat t
empt st
oleav
ebutIpul
lhi
mt ome
shakingmyhead.
Me:Babyno.Pleasenottoday
.It
sourspeci
al
day
.Dontlett
hisrui
nit.
Him:Thando!Someonejustt
hreatenedus.Our
uni
on.Ourmar r
iage.HowcanItakethatl
ight
ly?
Tel
lme!
Hesbar
kingatmeandasscar
yashei
s,Ineed
t
ostandmygr ound.
Me:Theresal
way stomorr
owory oucanask
someonetotracethemessages.Cal
m down
pl
ease.Ther
ear epeopl
ehere.
Hehuffsandcloseshiseyes.Whenheopens
them,they
recoldanddist
ant.Hisexpressi
on
changestosomethingIdontrecogni
selikea
monsterofsomesor t
.
Me:
Mel
i
sizwe.Bhut
i.
Hel ooksatmewi t
hsomuchhost i
l
ity
,Im
actuall
ygett
ingscared.It
hinkhecanseethe
fearinmyey esbecauseheshakeshishead
andcomesbackt ome.
Him:I
llsor
titoutandsoon.Whohast
his
number?
Me:
Justcl
osef
ri
endsl
i
keQambaandEr
inand
f
amil
y.
Henodsandpul
lsmei n.Heki
ssesmewit
hso
muchpassi
onandlonging,
pul
li
ngusbot
hto
t
henow.
Hi
m:Dontbescar
edofme.Iwonthur
tyou.
Inod,
notknowi
ngwhatt
osay
.

It
sl aterintheeveningandt heweddi ng
festivit
ieshavenotdi eddownasIhoped.Mel i
andIar ebookedintooneofHi l
tonHot el
sin
JHBsowe' regett
ingr eadyt oleav e.Thetwins
willbewi thMam' Thithi atthepar entshouse.Im
soexci tedtogowi t
hmybooandj usthaveloud,
wild, dr
unkandhappysex.Idi dntgivehimthe
whol eweekandnowi tstimet omakeup.Yeah,
youmaysayt hatMel iandIhav esext oomuch
buti sntthathownewr elati
onshipsar e?Iwant
tospendt herestofmyl i
femaki ngsweetdi vi
ne
l
ov et omymanandI 'm st arti
ngt oday.
Hi
m:Baby
..
.Pi
nkpuf
f?Wher
ewer
eyounow?
Me:
Justt
hinki
ng.
Hi
m:Nothi
ngsgoingtohappent
oyouorusor
t
heki
ds.Il
lpr
otecty
ou.
Il
ookathi
m conf
used
Me:
Huh?
Hi
m:Themessage?
Me:
oh!HaIev
enf
orgotaboutt
hat
.AndMr
,
Isayki
ssi
nghi
m
Me:You*ki
ss*owe*kiss*me*
kiss*a*
kiss*
new*ki
ss*phone*
kiss*.
Heblushessosweetly.Whoev
ersai
dmendont
bl
ushclearl
yhasntseenamaninl
ove.
Hi
m:Okay
.Il
lgety
ouoneMonday
.
Me:Okay.ButIdontwantanIphone.Iwanta
SamsungNote.Whichevernot
eitis,I
llt
ake.
Hi
m:Okay
.
Me:
Andmakesur
eIgetal
lmypi
csback,
sav
e
mymemor
ycar
d.
Hi
m:Okay
.
Me:
Cany
oust
opsay
ingokay
?
Hi
m:Okay
.
Webot hlaughandhehol dsmyhand.Wer eon
ourwayt oJobur gandIm sogiddyintheinsi
de.
Im beyondex ci
tedandIrefusetothinkabout
themessages.Mel i
pull
smei ncloserand
kissesthesideofmyhead.Iguesst he
messagesgott ohi m.Butwhatgoodwoul dit
hav edoneifIhiditfr
om hi
m?

~Mel
i
sizwe~
Im bey ondpi ssed,
whointheirr
ightmi nd
thr
eat ensme?I vebeentooni
cef ortoolong
now.ButIdontwantt ogobackt othatmonster
Iwasbef ore,Ivemadetoomuchpr ogr esswi
th
mypsy chiatri
sttogobacktherenow.Ihav ea
familyt othinkof,awif
etoloveandki dsto
watchgr
owup.Ihavet
obecar
eful
oral
otof
bl
oodwil
lbeshed.
'
BABY.
..
'
IlookupandThandoi ssulki
ngbet weenthe
bathroom doorandbedroom.Imi nbedandon
myl aptoptry
ingtocodeKhanyasohecant rack
thenumberbuthecant .It
suntraceabl
e.So
clearl
ythispersoni
snoamat eurtothis.
Me:
Nana.
Her
:It
sourti
me.Timetobondandl
aughand
beMeli
Thando.Putt
hataway
.
Me:
Onesecond.
..
Her
:No.
..
Me:Pl
easesoIcanmoveonf
rom t
hisand
f
ocusonuscomplet
ely
.
ShehuffsandIcarryont y
pingandlooki
ngat
thestr
eam li
nesandcodest r
yingt
ocatcht
he
culpr
it
.Fuck!Ipushthelaptopdownbecause
Thandoisonenaught ygir
lthatneedst
obe
puni
shed.
Me:
Baby
..
.I.
..
Shet
akesmedeeperi
nhermout
h.
Me:
Fine.
..
Iputmyl aptopawayandl etthepleasuretake
over.It
ssogoodanddel i
cious.Theresanot her
factori
npl ayt
hatIcantputmyf i
ngeron.Its
l
ikeal i
ttl
e..
.mmmm. ..ball
..
.okayIlltal
klater
Im..ooo!
Me:Baby.
..
.aaah.
..f
uck.
..Pi
nkpuuuuuuuf
fff
ff!
Aaaaaaar
rrdamn.
Ibustinhermout
handsheswall
ows.My
naughtywoman.Shesmi
lesandsti
cksouther
tongue.Woah!At
onguer
ing?Si
ncewhen?
Her
:Lov
emynewt
oy?
Inod.
Me:
Sincewhen?
Her
:Longago.Justnev
erwor
eitbecause
mamasai
ditmakesmel
ookl
i
keawhor
e.
Il
augh
Me:
Youcanbemywhor
eanyday
.
Her
:Soy
oul
i
kei
twhenI
m naught
y?
Shecl i
mbsupandt rail
skissesup.Im smil
i
ng
l
ikeani di
otmygi rlt
hough.Sheget st
omy
nipplesandgent l
ybiteseachoft hem.Oo!Wow!
Strangely
,thatfel
tgood.Shef inall
ymovesto
myl ipsandbitesmybot tom li
p.
Her
:Il
ovey
ourl
i
ps,
they
'r
esof
tandso.
..mmm.
.
Shegr
indsherbodyonmeandt
hatal
one
makesFredst
and.

Bysomemiracle,Ifel
lasl
eepl
astnightandnow
i
tsmorni
ng,istret
choutandtheothersideof
mybediscold.Wher esmybri
de?
Me:
Thando?
Ther
essi
l
ence.Ij
umpoutofbedandgol
ook
forheri nt
hebathroom,shesther
ebrushingher
teethsway i
ngherhipsinfr
ontofthemirror
.
Shet urnstomeandf rowns.Shecarr
ieson
brushingherteet
handIgohugherf rom behind,
kissi
ngher .
Me:
Youshower
edwi
thoutme?
Shesaysnot
hingexceptshr
ug,
spi
tsoutand
ri
nseshermouth.
Me:
Wel
lke,
Iguessy
ou'
l
lhav
etor
epeat
.
Her
:Babe,
Im onmyper
iod
Me:
Okay
.
Itakemyhanddownt ohercoochi
eanddipmy
fi
nger.Shit
,shessoaki
ngwet,bendi
ngherover
thebathroom si
nk,andsl
idemypenisi
n.She
gasps
Her
:Mkhont
o..
.Bhut
i.
..
ThatswhatIwanttohear
,holdi
ngherwaist
,I
st
artmovingfastandhar
d,Iwantt
omakeher
sweatsosheshower swi
thmeagain.Shes
panti
ngandscreamingandbeggi
ng,whileI
gruntandpant
.YeerInever
,inmyli
fe,t
hought
I
dbeaddi ct
edtosex.Nowonderthatcunt
wantstofuckher.
Her
:Oooow!MELI
II
II
..
.
Shecums,
shower
ingmeandIshooti
ntoher
.
Her
:Hai
bo!Andt
hen?
Ifi
nall
yrel
easeaft
erI
vedefl
atedandl
etgoof
her.Myhandsareimpr
int
edonherwaist
.Fuck,
Iheldontooti
ght
ly
Me:
Im sor
ry!Ij
ustl
ostcont
rol
Her:Damnst r
aightyoudi d.Nowy ouhav eto
makeupf orit
.Shej umpsonmeandIcat chher
.
Putt
ingherbackagai nsttheshowerwal l,I
gent
lyinser
tmyer ectmani nsi
deofher .When
l
astdidImaket eeth-gri
nding,back-scr
atchi
ng
l
ovet omywi f
e?Itst i
meIt akeitslow.
Her
:Fast
er.
..
Isi
l
enceherwi
thaki
ssandst
artmov
ing,
inand
outofher,herwar mt hhol dingmypeni slikea
gloveasIstrokemy selfi
nher .Shesamuse, a
painti
ngtobehol d,api t
cur etokeep.Sheal lures
me, mysafehav en,mycomf orter
,myshel t
er.
Hersweetmoansnar r
owl yescapi ngherl
ips, I
turnontheshowerwat ertocool usoffi
nt his
heatedmoment .Thewat eriswar ml i
keher
bodyandst eami nglikehersweetcoochi e.Her
l
egst rembl
ear oundmywai st,shewantst olet
gobutIholdherf i
rml yi
npl ace.
Me:
Letgo,
cum f
orme.
..
Shemoansgaspi
ngasIhi
therhar
der
.
Me:
Saymyname.
..
Shesscr
atchi
ngmyback,
signal
l
ingshescl
ose
Me:
Cal
lformebaby
..
.
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe.
..
Me:
Agai
n
Her
:Mel
i
sizwe.
.
Me:
Louder
..
.
Shescr
eamsmyname
Her
:Mel
i
sizweMv
elase!
Onethingaboutmywoman,shedoesntcum
si
lent
ly,shel
eavesamar
k,anecho.Ihi
ssher
nameinherearasmyrel
easeimplodesinher
.

~Thando~
Yhoha. a!Im grat
eful
thatmeandMel i
sizwe
postponedourhoney moonorI dbepr egnant
again.Themanknowshowt ofuckv ha?Ihad
tobegf orust ogoout,mynooki eisst i
ll
burningfrom allt
hepleasur e.Ha.amymani sa
beastIcantkeepupany mor e.ThefactthatIm
onmyper ioddoesntbot herhim atall,he
carri
esonwi t
hhisbusiness.I veshower ed3
ti
mest odaybecauseofhi m.I mt i
redbuty et
rej
uvini
sed.Itsawei r
df eeli
ng.We' reatthemal l
becauseIsawsomeni cet hingsthatIwanthim
topeel of
f ,
withhistongue.Justt
hat.Ohandto
alsobuymyphone, Imissmykidsandtaking
pics.Melisi
zweisntmuchofasel fieguy,
but
atleastheletsmet akeself
ieswit
hhisphone.
Hisphoner i
ngs,andthenameNel sonpopsup
Me:
Myhubby
sphone,
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
er:
Hi,
Dangert
her
e?
Me:
Justasecond.
..
Ihandi
ttohi
m andhessmi
l
ingl
i
keani
diot
Hi
m:Nel
son.
.
Itakemyhandf r
om him andgest ur
eaway.Thi
s
i
st heperfectoppor
tunitytogetwhatIwant
withoutbeingcaught.Isneakintotheshopand
buymynecessar ythingsandst uffi
tint
omy
bag.
Hi
m:Andt
hen?
Fuckhegi
vesmeaf
ri
ght
.
Me:
Not
hing.
Her
aisesandbr
owandsmi
rks.

Backatthehot el
,wehav i
ngroom ser
viceinour
gowns.Im nakedunderneathsonosurpi sef
or
Melij
ustyet,butthatdoesntst
ophimf rom
wanti
ngtopeaki ntomygown.
Me:Hehake.Donty
ougett
ir
edofseei
ngmy
br
east
s?
Hi
m:No.Especi
all
ywhenIsuckont
hem.
Iswathishandawayandshakemyhead.I
m
noteati
ngtoni
ght.Hav
etohaveacl
ear
stomachforwhatIhavei
nmind.
I
nbedwefondl
ingar
ound,hestr
yingt
ot akemy
gownof
fandIwontl
ethim.Hekeepskissing
meandti
ckl
i
ngme, i
tssocute.
Me:
Ineedt
opee.
Hi
m:Ha.
a
Me:
Bhut
i!
Hel aughsandrol
lsover,
givi
ngmeaf ull
viewof
hisalreadyer
ectpeni
s.Fuck!Inowhave
reservati
onsofwhatihaveinmind.Buti
tsnow
ornev er.
Hi
m:Di
dnty
ousayy
ouwantt
opee?
Me:
Idi
d.
Hi
m:Sowhyy
oust
ari
ngatFr
ed?
Me:I
m shockedathowal
loft
hatcanf
iti
nsi
de
ofme.
Helaughssohar
dandIwal
koff
.Inthe
bat
hroom Iwi
pemygoodi
esandtakeoutt
he
l
ube.Timetopl
ay.
Igooutnakedandsmi
l
eathi
m,t
hrowi
nghi
m
thel
ube.
Hi
m:Andt
hen?
Me:Di
dnty
ousayy
ouwantt
oexpl
oreal
lmy
hol
es?
Hi
sey
espopoutandIal
mostl
augh.
Me:
Butbegent
le,
itsmyf
ir
stt
ime.
Hepul lsmet othebedandat tacksmewi th
kisses,hef l
ipsmeov erandli
ftsmybut ti
nthe
air.Ohf uck!Whathav eIgotmy sel
fint
o?He
l
icksmyanus, whichissurpr
isinglygood,
Ifind
my selfmoani ng.Hecar r
iesonandonwhi l
e
playingwi t
hmycl i
tandIcanthel pbutcum.
Ther esacol dsensationonmybackhol e,I
guesst hatst helube.Myinsi
descl ech.Am I
readyf orthis?
[
10/
30,
19:
46]Wadz
:SeasonFi
nal
e..
.

£70
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Cir
cli
ngmyf i
ngeraroundheranus, Icanfeel
Thandotenseup.May beshesnotr eadyf
orthis.
Butwhyissheforci
ngher self
?May beshes
tr
yinhtopl
easeme?ButIl ovewhatwehav e
now.Herscrumptuousv aginaisgoodenough
formenow.Itkeepsmecomi ngbackf
ormore.
Slowlyi
nser
ti
ngmyi ndexf
inger
,shecl
enches
aroundi
t.
Me:
Itsokay
,Iwonthur
tyou.
Sheslowlybreathesout ,
letti
ngmyf i
ngergo.I
mov etoherclitandhelpmysel f
,gentlybi
ti
ng
andgrazing.Thest r
ingoft hetamponi sinmy
way,soImov eit
,andcar r
yonwi thmyquest .
Shesmoani ng,groaningandgr abbingthe
sheetsti
ghter.Istar
tmov ingmyf inger,i
nand
outofhergent l
y.
Her
:AAAH...dontst
op.
..Mel
i
...baby
..
.that
f
eel
s..
.oooh!
Shespanti
ngandthattur
nsmeon.Shes
soaki
ngwetandIm harderthanstone.Taki
ng
outhertampon,
Iinser
tmy selfi
nherandshe
gasps.
Her
:Im cumi
ng.
..
Sheexpl
odesonme.He.
.shet
hinksshesof
f
thehook?Nahi t
smyt urn.Istartmov i
ngso
slowlyanddeli
cat el
y,sav ouri
nghersweett i
ght
goodiebag.Shehasamagi cpussyIswear .
Nev eri
nmyent i
refuckingl i
fe,haveIhad
nookiethisgood.Shegott hatBi l
li
ondollar
goodness.Takingmyi ndexf ingerout,Isli
dein
myt humb, t
hesamet imeI m strokingher
vagina,shescreamsmyname.Thoughal i
ttl
e
l
oud, it
smusict omyear s.Imov emyt humbi n
andoutt hesamepaceandt i
measmydi ck.
Thisfeelsdamngood.I m bui l
dinghigherand
higher,
Her
:Bhut
i.
..Baby
..
.Nana.
..oh!Aaah!
Thatsset
smeof fandIshoothardinsi
deofher.
Fuck!Andshefol
lowstoo.Isl
owlytakemy
thumboutandthenmyselfandlaybesideher
.
Shespanti
ngandbreat
hingheavy.Igetupand
gogetanothert
amponf r
om herbagandputit
i
nsideofher.
Iwakeupt omuff
ledgi
ggl
esandIf i
ndmysel
f
smil
ing.Openi
ngmyeyes,IseeThandosmil
i
ng
atme.
Her
:Your
eonecr
azyguy.Wher
edidy
oul
ear
n
t
oputatamponi
nsi
desomeone?
Imuff
lealaugh.Whatthef
uck?Whoasksa
per
sonsuchwhent hey
v ej
ustwokenup?
Me:From y
ou.Iwat
chy
ouwheny
oudoi
t.Qui
te
sexyt
oo.
Shel
i
ght
lypat
smychestandgi
ggl
es
Her
:Your
esuchaper
ve.
Me: Onl
yforyou.Sohowwasy
ourf
ir
stanal
experi
ence?
Her:Uhm..
.notsobadIthi
nk.ThoughIwas
expect
ingmyfir
stpenet
rati
ontobekaksor
e.
Likewhenyoubrokemyv i
rgi
nit
y.
Me:Ididntpenet
rat
einyou.ButIwi
l
l,whenI
seefi
t.
..di
dIdoy ousor
e?
Shepout
sandgi
vesmepuppyey
eswhi
l
e
noddi
ng.
Me:
Im sor
ry.
Shegi
ggl
esandpecksmyl
i
ps.
Her:Butitwasgood.Amazi
ng,i
ncr
edibl
e,l
ip-
smacking.Yougavemethat.
..y
ouknow..
.that
thi
ngman.
If
indmy
sel
flaughi
ng.Mybabyt
hough.
Me:
Youj
ustbl
untnhe?
Her:
Uhm..wi t
hyou?Al
ways.Li
keIoncesai
dto
you,
Il
lrat
herhity
ouwit
hthetrut
hthancomfor
t
youwithl
ies.I
tsj
ustmeandIexpectt
hesame
f
rom you.
Shesl
i
desherhandi
nandhol
dsmypeni
s.
Her
:Whydi
dnty
oupenet
rat
e?
Me:
Youwer
entr
eady
.
Shenodsandsay
snot
hing.
Fi
nal
l
yshespeaks
Her
:Iwi
shwedi
dnthav
etogobackt
owor
k
That
saf
ir
st.
Me:
Whynot
?
Her:NoIjustli
keourbubbl
e,i
tsni
celikewe
havenokidsorproblemsoranyt
hing.Whycant
l
ifebeli
kethisMeli
?
Shebur
iesherheadi
nmychestandIdont
knowwhattosay.It
hinki
tst
imet
oupsecuri
ty.

It
sTuesdayandasalways,
Im slavi
ngaway
withal
lmybusi
nesses.Wehav entcrackedt
he
codebutI
veuppedmysecur i
ty.
Cr
aig:
Boss,
someonesher
efory
ou.
Thedooropensandmybri
decomesi
nsway
ing
herhipsandsmi
li
ngbr
oadl
y.If
indmy
sel
f
smil
ing.
Me:
Real
l
yCr
aig?
Hesmi
l
esandwal
ksout
.Cr
aigwal
ksoutand
mywif
esmil
esatme.Herdressi
srat
hershor
t
f
ort
heworkpl
aceandt
ightt
oo.
Her
:What
swr
ong?
Me:
Thatdr
ess.
Her
:What
swr
ongwi
thi
t?
Me:
Itsr
atherr
iskyf
ort
hewor
kpl
ace.
Shel
ooksather
sel
fandr
oll
sherey
es.
Her:
Hai kei
tsabitl
atenow.Any
way,Ibr
ought
youlunch,I
m goi
ngbacktoworknow.Ki
ssme
soIcangomybad, badman.
Ichuckleandt
urninmychair.Shecomes
aroundandsit
sonmyl apandgi v
esmeone
hellofasmooch.Shegiggl
esinmymouthand
pull
saway .
Her
:Any
way
,Ihav
eabi
grequestf
rom y
ou.
Me:
Yourwi
shi
smycommand.
Shegi
ggl
es.
Her
:Car
eful
whaty
ousay
.Ij
ustmayhav
emor
e
t
han3wi
shes.
Ismi
l
eandzi
pmyl
i
ps
Her:Okay1:Weneedanewhouse.Thati
syour
house,Iwantmyhouse.I
ncasey
ouwantto
l
eavemesomeday ,atl
eastgi
vemeahouse.
Me:
Il
lnev
erl
eav
e..
.
Shepecksme
Her
:Wedontknowwhatl
i
fehol
ds.
Isi
gh
Her:
Second:
Thet wi
nsar
eteet
hing!Isawt
wo
l
it
tl
emunchkinspeepi
ngout
.
Shessqueal
sandbouncesonmydi
ck.
Me:Caref
ulnow.Wedontwantt
owaket
he
sl
eepi
ngbeast.
Shegi
vesmeal
ookandhi
tsmychest
.
Her
:Pl
easebeser
ious.
Ismi
rkandnod
Me:
SowhatmustIdo?
Her:
Nothi
ngImjustsay
ingandl
ast
ly,
uhm.
..
ei
sh..
.howdoIask.
..
Me:
Youneedmoney
?
Shel
ooksdownandnods.Itakeoutmyphone
andsendhert
oheraccount
.
Her:
Notal
ot.Li
keal
i
ttl
ebi
t.Isawt
heser
eal
l
y
cut
e..
.
Ipl
aceahandov
erhermout
h
Me:
Baby
,youdonthav
etoexpl
ainy
our
sel
f.
Her:
NoIdontwanty
out
ofeel
li
keI
m sucki
ng
youdry
.
Me:
Idont
.
Her
:Pr
omi
se?
Inod.Ipeckherl
i
psandgr
abherbr
east
.She
squeal
s
Her
:Oho.Letmegobef
orey
oupoundmeon
t
hedesk.
Shest
andsandIsmackherbum.
Her
:Ooow!Fut
sek.
Igaspandsher
unst
otheot
hersi
deoft
he
tabl
e,gi
ggl
i
ng.
Me:
Il
lpuni
shy
ouwhenwegethome
Her
:Idl
i
ket
oseey
out
ry.
Shelaughsandr
unstot
hedoor
.Fr
om t
her
e
sheblowsmeakiss
Her
:Il
ovey
oubaby
.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo,
MrsMv
elase.

~Thando~
Meli
sizweMv elase,wher
edoIbegi n?IwishI
coul
dgi v
ewhatwehav etoeverycouplewho
wantslove.We'reinsuchagoodspacer i
ght
nowandwi ththekidstoo.Theboy shave
warmedupt otheirdadandMel i
sizwecouldnot
bemor eexci
ted.Litt
leAhl
umile?Imissherso
somuch.Shemakesmesmi l
e,howIwi shshe
wasmi ne.Shesomet i
mescal l
smemom and
thatwar msmyhear t.Ical
lheralmostdai ly,
just
tohearherlitt
levoiceandl aughandseeher
prett
yface.Shesbeaut i
full
ikehermot her
shame.Tooador able.Sim?Wehav entf ounda
l
eadonherf atherandhonest ly
,Ivegivenup.
Wecal ledhi
m andt riedtoaccesshi m butt ono
avail
.Af t
ert
hatcall hechangednumber sand
wenev erheardf r
om hi m orMrJonasf orthat
mat t
er.Myphoner i
ngs
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Sil
ence.SoIgosi l
enttoo,I
m notgoingtohang
up,wewi l
lbothbesilentunt
ilt
heper son
decidestospeak.Thisisbul
lshi
t.I
tsnott he
fi
rstti
met hi
shashappenedandI m gett
ingsick
ofit.
Speaker
:Br
acey
our
sel
f.
I
tsdeep,
almostcomput
eri
sed.Whatdoeshe
meanwhen..
..
Bang, crash, boom.AcarhitsmineandIgoof
f
cour se.Im screamingandholdi
ngontothe
steer i
ngf ordearli
feasmycarroll
sohso
sl
owl y.Mywi ndowshatter
sandIhitmyhead
ont hest eeri
ng...
Iopenmyey esslowlygaini
ngconsci
ousness
andseepeoplerunningtowardsmycar,why
aretheyr
unningslowly?Smell
sli
kefi
retoo..
.
Myeyeli
dsareheavyasIat
tempttoopenthem
butI
m str
uggl
ing.Ther
esavoicespeaki
ng,
?
:Ihav
eher
.Meetmeatt
hespot
..
[
10/
30,
19:
47]Wadz
:Her
eiti
sthef
inal
inser
t.
..

£70.
.cont
inued.
..
~Mel
i
sizwe~
Ti
docomesbur
sti
ngi
nmyof
fi
ce.
Hi
m:Thandosbeenki
dnapped
Ist
opmi
dchewandl
ookathi
m.
Him:Boss!Yourwifehasbeenkidnapped.
Cheese,
Kiddo,St
ylesandChainzaredead.
Assassi
ned.Let
sgobosspl ease.
Isl
owl
ygetupf r
om mychair
.Theresashar
p
pai
nonmyl ef
t,i
tseemsli
keIvebeenst
abbed.I
l
ookatTidowhosrunni
ngtowardsmeasIsink
tot
heground.
Theresabeepi ngsoundasIr egai
n
consciousness.Islowlyopenmyey esandturn
myheadt owardsthebeepi ngsound.Seems
l
ikeImi nhospital
.Iturnmyheadagai nandf i
nd
Langa'sheadbowed, snif
fi
ng.Iclearmythroat
andhel ooksupwi thtearsfall
ingdownhisf ace.
Odd?Langanev ercri
es,unlesssomet hi
ng
ter
ri
ble,li
kereall
yhor r
ifi
chashappened.He
att
acksmewi thahug.
Hi
m:I
m sosor
ry.
If
rownathi
m
Me:
For
?Whathappened?
Hecri
esharderandIcomfor
thim
dumbfounded.Mom wal
ksinandgaspswhen
sheseesmeandLanga
Her
:Ohabantwanabam andshecr
iest
oo.Yho
hay
iIdontunder
stand.

Thedrcomesi
nawhi
l
elat
erandchecksal
lmy
vi
tal
s.
Me:
Whathappened?
Him:Yousuffer
edami ldhear
tat
tackt
ri
ggered
byshock.Icancleary
outogohomet oday.
Me:
Thatwoul
dbegr
eatt
hanky
ou.
Henodsandwalksout
.Khany
aandKamv
a
wal
kin,
alll
ooki
ngsad.
Them:
Heyki
d.
Il
aughathowt heyt
alki
nunison,
li
keol
dti
mes.
Mustbenicebeingatwi
n,Ihopemyboysar
e
al
soli
kethis.
Me:Hey.Whysever
yonelooki
ngsogri
m?And
wher
eisThando?Iexpect
edhertobethef
ir
st
oneher
e.
Theylookateachot herandlookdown.Not
utt
eri
ngawor d.Bot
hcr yi
ngandcomingt ohug
me.What swithmybr othersandhugstoday?
Tatawalksin.Yessomeonewhocananswer
myquest i
ons.
Hi
m:Hi
Boy
-boy
.
OhhowIhatethi
sname.Gosh,I
m sool
dfor
such.I
m al
mostfor
tynowl
ikecomeon.
Me:
Daddydear
est
.Wher
esThando?
Mydadclear
shi
sthr
oatandl
ooksev
ery
wher
e
butme.
Tat
a:We'
l
ltal
kabouti
twhenwegethome
Me:
Nonow!Iwantanswer
snow!
Im get
tingf
rust
rat
ednowathowev
ery
onei
s
avoidi
ngmequestion.
Hi
m:Mel
i
sizwepl
ease.St
opbei
ngdi
ff
icul
t.
Me: Diff
icul
t?Dif
fi
cult
!FuckdadIhadtoaskt
he
fucki
ngdrwhathappenedt omebecausemy
ownf uckingfamil
ywonttell
me.SoIaskandI
wontr epeatmyself
.WHEREI SMYWI FE?
Tat
a:KI
DNAPPED.
..shesbeenki
dnapped.
Hewhisper
sthel
astwor
dsandt
ear
sfal
ldown
hi
sface.
Hi
m:Theguar
dsyouhiredwereassassi
nat
edi
n
t
hepr
ocessandhercarist
otal
led.
Hesstut
ter
ingandsi
ghi
ngandsobbi
ngandIm
j
ustnumb.Hedrawsinabr
eathandstar
ts
t
alki
ng.
Him:Carssayshewasdraggedoutoft
hecar
byaman, aski
ngpeoplet
ocallt
hehospi
tal
,
pr
obablyasadiver
sionandspedoff
.
Me:
Whydi
dntt
heycheckt
henumberpl
ate?
Myv
oicei
shoar
seandl
ow
Hi
m:CCTVshowsnonumberpl at
e,t
heper
sons
f
acei
snott
here.Idontknowhow.
Me:
Gett
hej
etr
eady
,we'
rel
eav
ingf
orRussi
a.

~Thando~
Myheadi sheav y
,andt hrobbi
ng.Isowantt o
scream becauseoft hepainim experiencing.
Mychesti sbur ni
ng.It r
yopeni ngmyey es,
sl
owl y.Theyfinal
lyopen.Ohwow!Ther oofi s
gorgeousi thaspaintingsonitandami rr
ort oo.
Woah!Icantseemy selfasitst othefarside
butIm damnsur ethisisnotmyr oom athome.
Iturnmyheadandt heresagl asswi t
hwat eron
mysi de.Iyearntoreachoutandr i
nkthe
contentsbutIdontt rusttheli
qi ud.I
m sur pri
sed
athowcal m Iam att hismoment .
'
Youcangoaheadanddr
inkt
hewat
er.I
ts
cl
ean'
.
Af
emal
evoi
ceIknowsay
s.Ij
ustdoandsay
nothingandf acetheotherway, t
owardswher e
thev oi
ceiscomi ngfr
om.St andingatthedoor,
smilingandwear ingagown, i
sCar y
n.Myf uck!
Ohf uck,shesgoingtokill
mef orMel i
sizwe.Oh
Lordno.Pl easesavemef rom thismessI min.
Her
:Im notgoi
ngt
ohur
tyouory
ourf
ami
l
y.
Isaynothi
ngandjustcr
y.Shelaughs,
tur
nsand
walksaway,l
eav
ingmesobbi ngformyli
fe.

Imustvefal
lenasl
eepbecauseI
m wokenby
softki
ssesonmyf ace,
Ismil
ethi
nki
ngit
sMeli
.
Iopenmyey esandIm metbyasmil
ingCar
yn.
Her
:Shesmi
l
es.Hi
baby
.
Ist
aysmili
ngbecausecl
ear
lyt
hisi
ssome
psychobi
tchr
ighther
e.
Me:
MayIpl
easehav
esomewat
er?
Her
:Ohmyl ove.Im sureyour
ethi
rst
y.
Br
it
neeeeeeeey!Bri
i
iii
ii
i
ii
it
!
Sheturnsandsmi l
esatmeandpecksmynose.
Bynowmysmi l
ehaslongfadedandrepl
aced
byshock.ThedooropensandBr i
tney
, myboss
Bri
tney
, comeswaltzi
ngin,
naked!Shehasa
ni
cebodyf oranel
der
lywoman.Yeah,Bri
tneyi
s
i
nherear ly40s.
Her
:Oh.Your
eup.Heyangel
face.
Car
yn:
Shesay
sshest
hir
sty
.
Bri
tney
:Hel
pherupsoshecandr
inkwat
erand
eatsomet
hing.
Im deadquietnotsurewhatt omakeofthi
s
si
tuati
onathand.Car ynhelpsmeupandt her
es
achainscratchi
ngsound.Il ookdownandfi
nd
myl egchai
nedt othebed.Woah, Ir
eal
lyam a
pri
sonerinapsy chot
icplace.
Br
it
ney
:Wedontwanty
out
orunaway
.
Inodandwipeawayaf
all
i
ngt
ear
.Iv
ebeen
ki
dnapped.
Im wokenupbyapr essingneedtopeebutI
m
tooafrai
dmov e.Iopenmyey esandfi
ndCaryn
snuggledincl
oset ome.What supwit
hthi
s?
Didntshesayshewant sMeli?
Me:
Car
yn?
Her
:Yesl
ove?
Lov
e?Heey
ho.
.
Me:
Ineedt
hel
adi
esr
oom.Badl
y.
Shet
urnsherhead,
bit
esherbot
tom l
i
pand
l
ooksatme.
Her
:Uhm...canty
ouhol
dit
?Br
it
neysai
dshe'
l
l
bebacknow.
Me:
Itsgoi
ngt
ocomeoutv
eryv
erysoon.
Shejumpsupandst art
spanicki
ng.Sherunsto
theendoftheroom anddumpst hecont
entsof
thedustbi
nandcomesr unni
ngtome.She
helpsmeupandof fthebed,
justthenBr
itney
walksin
Her
:Whatt
hef
uckCar
yn?
Car
yn:
Sheneedst
opeeso.
..
Sheget sahotslapacrossthef acethatl
eaves
herfal
lingonherbutt.I
m soscar edthatIpee
myself.Imtr
yingtosuppressi tbuti
twontst op.
Ohno!Shesgoi ngtobeatmet oo.Brit
neylooks
atmet henburstsoutlaughi
ng, l
ikeshelegit
l
aughsandIj ustbli
nkbackt ears.Mylegis
hurt
ingsobadl ybutI
mt ooscar edtosayso.

Aft
erbeingcleanedupandl
aidonthebed
agai
n,withf
reshsheets,
Isi
tupandeatmy
supper
.Iveaskedforoat
sbecausemystomach
i
sinknots.
Me:
Im sor
ryIpeedony
ourbed,
MissSt
eyn.
Br
it
neygi
vesmet
hemostdeadl
i
estofl
ooks.
Her
:Isai
d,cal
lmeBr
it
ney
.
Me:
Bri
tney
.
Shegi
ggl
esandsmi
l
es
Her
:Muchbet
ter
.
It
urnt
oCar
yn
Me:
Thanksf
orhel
pingme.
Carynsmil
esatmeandt
henr
oll
sherey
esat
Bri
tney.
Br
it
ney
:Baby
..
.
Car
ynl
ooksather
Bri
t:I
m sor
rymylove.JustIt
hought
..
.im sor
ry.
Letmemakeitbett
er.
Cary
njustpoutsandl ooksaway .Openingher
gown,Bri
tputsherf ingersonCar ynscooch.
Shegetsoffthebedandpul lsCarynsleg
makingherfall
flatandspr eadsherlegsand
muffsher
.Ohmyf uck.Rightinf
rontofme.No
shame.Carynmoansandgr untsandbegsf or
mercy.
Br
it
:Tel
lme.
..y
ou.
..f
orgi
ve.
..me.
Car
yn:
Ido,
Ido.If
orgi
vey
ou.
Shegrabsont
othesheetsandscreams.I
guessthat
shercumming.Whatthefuckj
ust
happened?

Icantsleepanymor
e.Mymindkeepsgoi
ng
backtomyki dsandmyhusband.Hemustbe
goinginsanewit
hworr
y.
Br
it
:Sl
eep!
Ikeepquiet
.Icantsl
eep.HowcanIknowing
verywell
thatImightnev
erseemychil
dren
again?
Brit
:Whatswrong?Anddonty
oudar
ement
ion
thatbast
ardandhiski
ds.
Shesf
uri
ous,
Icanseei
tinherey
es.Shesr
eal
l
y
cr
azy.
Me:No.Ijustr
egr
etsl
eepi
ngt
hisaf
ter
noon.I
cantsl
eep.
Carynst
ir
s.Yep,
weallsl
eepi
ngononebed,
wit
hmei nthemiddl
e.
Car
yn:
Bri
t?
Br
ithuf
fsbesi
deme,
frust
rat
edi
fIm not
mist
aken.
Br
it
:Mmm?
Caryn:
Fuckmepl
ease.Har
dandr
ough.Ial
so
cantsl
eep.
Thesidel
ampison.Iguesssoshecanseeme
atal
lti
mesandmymov ements.Buthonest
ly,
wherecanIgowhenIm chai
nedt othi
sbed?
Bri
tstandsandwal ksoffsomewhere.I
fyou
mustknow, I
m dressedinanightdr
essand
panti
es.That
sit.Britcomesbackwithastr
ap
on.Woah!Shesmi les.
Caryngiggl
esandgetsof
fthebedandmeets
Bri
thalfway.Icl
osemyeyes.Someonegr
abs
myfaceandIopenmyey es
Br
it
:Dontcl
osey
ourey
es.Ort
her
e'l
lbehel
lto
pay
.

Carynisri
dingBritl
iket
heresnotomor r
ow.
Sheshuffi
ngandmoani ngandbeggi ng.I
none
swiftmove,Bri
tlaysheronherbell
yandl i
ft
s
herassintheair.ShesmacksCarynhar dand
sl
idesherstraponin
Car
yn:
Yeah,
baby
!Fuck.
..Br
it
ney
..
.
Idontknowhowmuchmor eofthi
sIcan
endure,
butIkeepwat
chingbecauseI
m
petr
if
iedtof
indoutwhathell
Bri
tneywason
aboutwhenshetol
dmenott odareclosemy
eyes.

~Mel
i
sizwe~
3mont hs!
3fuckingmont hs.
.Iv
eturnedthe
worldupsi
dedownl ooki
ngformywi f
eand
nothi
ng.Iv
ethreatenedoldfoes,I
veshot17
peopleandsti
llnoonebr eat
hesawor dof
wheresheis.I
mfuckinggoi
ngcr
azyandIf
eel
l
ikedarknessi
scl
osinguponme.
Mama:
Baby
,pl
easest
op.You'
l
lfi
ndher
.
Me: Itsbeenthr
eemont hs.Thr
eemont hsand
sti
llnothi
ng.Whoknowswhatt hefuckthat
bastardcouldbedoingtoher?Hecoul dbe
fuckingheratthi
sinst
ant,ormakingherwork
asacal lgir
l?
Mama:
Youdontknowt
hatf
orsur
e.
It
hrowthegl
assatthetv
, smashingbot
hint
he
pr
ocess.I
mtorn,
broken,batt
ered.
Mama:
Her
e.Eat
Me:HowcanIeatwhenI
m notsurewhatthe
l
oveofmyli
fei
seati
ng?Wheresshesleepi
ng?
Wherei
nTHISFUCKINGWORLDSHEI S?Huh?
Tel
lme!
Forthefi
rstt
imesincethehospit
al,
Iletouta
sob,Isi
nktothefl
oorandjustleti
tallout
.
Thandowherearey ou?Comebackt ous.Your
f
ami
lyneedsy
ou,
theboy
smi
ssy
ou.Imi
ss
y
ou.
..