Published - February 2009

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A Comparative Study of ’The Old Man and the Sea’ With Its Two Persian Translations

By Shilan Shafiei & Amir Hossain Hatam,

M.A. in Translation Studies,
University of Isfahan, Iran

Abstract

In this study, the text of the well-known American novel “The old man and the sea” by Ernest
Hemingway is compared with its two Persian translations the interval of publication between
which is 23 years. First, some selected parts of the novel, including morphemes, words, phrases,
clauses, sentences, and larger text segments, are compared with their corresponding parts in the
Persian translations. Then, comparisons are made and classified in terms of mistranslation,
deletion, expansion, transference, transliteration, synonymy, shifts or transpositions, etc. and for
each item in these classes a Persian translation as a suggestion is tried to be given. After
gathering the sufficient related data, we try to come to a conclusion about the dominant style of
the two translators in applying certain procedures, thereby comparing the translations with each
other to determine which is more communicatively effective, the older or the newer one.

Key terms

English-Persian translation, The old man and the sea, comparative study, translation
procedures.

Introduction

Translation typically has been used to transfer written or spoken SL texts to equivalent written or
spoken TL texts. In general, the purpose of translation is to reproduce various kinds of texts—
including religious, scientific, philosophical, and in this study, literary texts—in another
language and thus making them available to wider readers.

If language were just a classification for a set of general or universal concepts, it would be easy
to translate from an SL to a TL; furthermore, under the circumstances the process of learning an
L2 would be much easier than it actually is. In this regard, Culler (1976) believes that languages
are not nomenclatures and the concepts of one language may differ radically from those of
another, since each language articulates or organizes the world differently, and languages do not
simply name categories; they articulate their own. The conclusion likely to be drawn from what
Culler (1976) writes is that one of the troublesome problems of translation is the disparity among
languages. The bigger the gap between the SL and the TL, the more difficult the transfer of
message from the former to the latter will be.

This study is going to concentrate mainly on the problematic factors involved in translation such
as form, meaning, style, proverbs, idioms, etc. existing in the Persian translations of “The old
man and the sea;” and to correlate these factors with the translation procedures proposed by
Newmark (1988b).

Research Question

The researcher tries to answer the following questions:

1. Is there any relationship between the performance of the translators and the chronological
order of the translations?

2. Considering the translation procedures employed by the two translators, how are the two
works evaluated in comparing with each other and with the original English version?

3. Have the translators been consistent in applying certain procedures in rendering certain
linguistic features according to the classification of Newmark (1988b)?

Review of Related Literature

Translation is an activity of enormous importance in the modern world and it has been a subject
of interest not only to linguists and translators, but also to scientists and technologists during the
last fifty years. Generally speaking, however, translation studies in our country have not received
their due attention and needless to say, there is a great need for further investigation in this
regard by scholars in related areas. Without a thorough knowledge of translation procedures, on
the one hand, and the description of languages, on the other hand, much rendered materials
would likely be doomed to utter failure. Hence, this section deals with the translation procedures
proposed by some scholars.

The translating procedures, as depicted by Nida (1964) are as follow:

a. Technical procedures:

1. Analysis of the source and target languages;

2. A thorough study of the source language text before making attempts to translate it;

3. Making judgments of the semantic and syntactic approximations.

b. Organizational procedures:
Reevaluating the attempt made constantly, contrasting it with the existing available translations
of the same text done by other translators, and checking the text's communicative effectiveness
by asking the target language readers to evaluate its accuracy and effectiveness and studying
their reactions.

Vinay and Darbelnet (1973) proposed seven methods or procedures (loan, calque, literal
translation, transposition, modulation, equivalence, adaptation).

Newmark (1988b) mentions the difference between translation methods and translation
procedures. He states that in contrast to translation methods, which relate to whole texts,
translation procedures are used for sentences and the smaller units of language within that text.
He goes on to refer to the following methods of translation:

· Word-for-word translation: in which the SL word order is preserved and the words
translated singly by their most common meanings, out of context.

· Literal translation: in which the SL grammatical constructions are converted to their

nearest TL equivalents, but the lexical words are again translated singly, out of context.

· Faithful translation: it attempts to produce the precise contextual meaning of the original
within the constraints of the TL grammatical structures.

· Semantic translation: which differs from 'faithful translation' only in as far as it must take
more account of the aesthetic value of the SL text.

· Adaptation: which is the freest form of translation, and is used mainly for plays
(comedies) and poetry; the themes, characters, plots are usually preserved, the SL culture is
converted to the TL culture and the text is rewritten.

· Free translation: it produces the TL text without the style, form, or content of the original.

· Idiomatic translation: it reproduces the 'message' of the original but tends to distort
nuances of meaning by preferring colloquialisms and idioms where these do not exist in the
original.

· Communicative translation: it attempts to render the exact contextual meaning of the

original in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible
to the readership (1988b: 45-47).

In contrast, the following are the different translation procedures that Newmark (1988b)
proposes:

· Transference: it is the process of transferring an SL word to a TL text either because the

TL does not have a lexicalized correspondence, or for stylistic or rhetorical reasons.
· Naturalization: it adapts the SL word first to the normal pronunciation, then to the normal
morphology of the TL. (Newmark, 1988b:82)

· Cultural equivalent: it means replacing a cultural situation/word in the SL with an

analogous one in the TL (when communicative situations are difficult to understand in the
culture of TL, when the situation of the SL does not exist in the TL- a cultural gap- and therefore
another equivalent situation has to be created).

· Functional equivalent: to neutralize or generalize an SL cultural word by using a culture-

free word.

· Descriptive equivalent: to neutralize or generalize an SL cultural word by using a

description.

· Componential analysis: it means "comparing an SL word with a TL word which has a

similar meaning but is not an obvious one-to-one equivalent, by demonstrating first their
common and then their differing sense components." (Newmark, 1988b:114)

· Synonymy: to use a near TL equivalent to an SL word in a context, where a precise

equivalent may or may not exist. This procedure is used when there is no clear one-to-one
equivalent, when literal translation is not possible, and the word is not important in the text
(adjectives, adverbs of quality), not important enough for componential analysis.

· Through-translation: it is the literal translation of common collocations, names of

organizations, the components of compounds, and perhaps phrases. It can also be called: calque
or loan translation. (Newmark, 1988b:84)

· Shifts or transpositions: it involves a change in the grammar from SL to TL, for instance,
(i) change from singular to plural, (ii) the change required when a specific SL structure does not
exist in the TL, (iii) change of an SL verb to a TL word, change of an SL noun group to a TL
noun and so forth. (Newmark, 1988b:86)

· Modulation: it occurs when the translator reproduces the message of the original text in
the TL text in conformity with the current norms of the TL, since the SL and the TL may appear
dissimilar in terms of perspective. (Newmark, 1988b:88)

· Recognized translation: it occurs when the translator "normally uses the official or the
generally accepted translation of any institutional term." (Newmark, 1988b:89)

· Compensation: it occurs when loss of meaning in one part of a sentence is compensated in

another part. (Newmark, 1988b:90)

· Expansion: to use more words in the TT in order to re-express an idea or to reinforce the
sense of an ST word because his correspondence in the TL cannot be expressed as concisely.
· Paraphrase: amplification or explanation of the meaning of an SL cultural word. Here the
explanation is much more detailed than that of descriptive equivalent. (Newmark, 1988b:91)

· Omission: to concentrate or suppress elements in the TL text.

· Couplets: it occurs when the translator combines two different procedures. (Newmark,
1988b:91)

· Notes, Additions, Glosses: when the translator supplies additional information in the form
of footnotes, endnote, glossaries at the end of the text, or within the text.

Nida (1964) advocates the use of footnotes to fulfill at least the two following functions: (i) to
provide supplementary information, and (ii) to call attention to the original's discrepancies.

According to Delisle (1999), translation procedures are methods applied by translators when they
formulate equivalence for the purpose of transferring elements of meaning from the ST to the
TT.

Methodology

Materials

This research study intends to gather some text segments; including morphemes, words, phrases,
clauses, sentences, and larger elements, which undergo translation procedures, from different
translations of an American novel with their corresponding versions. Thus, as a framework,
comparative analysis is applied for this study and that is why the source of data is restricted to
one 20th century novel with its different Persian translations that are as follow:

Hemingway, Ernest, The Old Man and the Sea, Triad/Panther Books, Granada Publishing Ltd,
1976.

1. ، ‫ انتشارات خوارزمی‬،‫ تهران‬،‫ چاپ اول‬،)‫ نجف دریا بندری (مترجم‬.‫ پیرمرد و دریا‬.‫ ارنست‬،‫همینگوی‬
1363.

2. 1340 ،‫ کانون معرفت‬،‫ تهران‬،‫ چاپ اول‬،)‫ یحیوی (مترجم‬.‫خ‬. ‫ م‬.‫ مرد پير و دریا‬.‫ ارنست‬،‫همینگوی‬.

The Rationale for Materials

The fundamental reason for choosing such book is that it has been written originally in English.
This 26,500-word novella, a simple narrative fable about the struggles of a poor Cuban
fisherman in his quest for a giant marlin, earned Hemingway the Pulitzer Prize for fiction and the
American Academy of Arts and Letters' Award of Merit Medal for the Novel in 1953, and
played a large part in his winning the 1954 Nobel Prize for literature. Written in spare,
journalistic prose with minimal action and only two principle characters, the work is at once a
realistic depiction of the events and locale described and a symbolic exploration of the human
struggle with the natural world, the human capacity to transcend hardship, and personal triumph
won from defeat. Although Hemingway claimed that in the novella he "tried to make a real old
man, a real boy, a real sea and a real fish and real sharks," the work is rich in imagery suggestive
of deeper meanings than appear on the surface. As Hemingway remarked, The Old Man and the
Sea is written on the "principle of the iceberg": seven-eighths of it is underwater for every part
that shows.

Here is a selection of quotes about this Hemingway’s masterpiece:

“Not only the finest long short story that Hemingway has ever written, but one of the finest
written by anyone anywhere” (The Listener)

“As an example of ‘declarative’ prose it is unsurpassed in Hemingway's oeuvre. Every word tells
and there is not a word too many” (Anthony Burgess, 99 Novels: The Best in English Since
1939)

“The best story Hemingway has ever written… no page of this beautiful masterwork could have
been done better or differently” (Sunday Times)

“A quite wonderful example of narrative art. The writing is as taut, and at the same time as lithe
and cunningly played out, as the line on which the old man plays the fish” (The Guardian)

“Hemingway brings to the old man's tragic fishing trip all his real, deep, intuitive understanding
of simple men who face primitive, ill-rewarded fates” (The Standard)

Moreover, it is, as Mollanazar (1990) states, worthwhile for the study, for there are at least four
Persian translations that can be compared with each other. The novel with its different
corresponding versions is carefully surveyed so as to spot the translating procedures in the
sentences used by translators.

Procedure

This study tries to answer the aforementioned research questions through the following
procedures:

1. Identifying and collecting some text segments; including morphemes, words, phrases,
clauses, sentences, and larger elements, which undergo the translation procedures
proposed by Newmark, from two Persian translations of “The old man and the sea” with
their corresponding equivalents.
2. Presenting the collected data in percentage and formulating them in the form of tables,
graphs, etc.

Data Analysis

1. In this part, some of the examples extracted from the novel with their translations from the
first translator, ‫نجف دریا بندری‬, are presented as follow:
1. Transliteration

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 the Gulf Stream ‫گلف استریم‬
2 salao »‫«ساالئو‬
3 Santiago ‫سانتیاگو‬
4 the Terrace »‫ «تراس‬،»‫ کافًه «تراس‬،‫کافه‬
5 Havana ‫هاوانا‬

Note the following remarks about the elements in the shaded areas:

· ‘The Gulf Stream’ means a warm current of water flowing across the Atlantic Ocean from
the Gulf of Mexico towards Europe. This extra information could be added in the form of
footnote, endnote, or glossary at the end of the text, or within the text to clarify the meaning of
the Gulf Stream.

· ‘The Terrace’, the name of a cafй, if translated as ‫کافه‬, may be mistaken for another word in
the text, bodega meaning a wine shop, which has been translated as ‫کافه‬.

2. Shift or Transposition

Shift Type Abbr.

Class shift CS
Gerund G
Intra-system shift IS
Level shift LS
Structure shift SS
Unit shift US
No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian) Shift Type
1 In the first forty days ‫ در چهل روزاول‬CS
2 orders ‫ فرمان‬IS
3 It made the boy sad ‫ پسر غصه می خورد‬SS
4 slapping and banging ‫ این ور و اون ور می کوبید‬G
5 those who love her ‫ دوستداران دریا‬LS-US

These were a small fraction of shifts or transpositions detected in the text. In some cases, 1, 2,
the application of shifts on the part of the translator has been obligatory while in some other
cases, 3, 5, it has been optional; and in the rest of the cases, 4, they should not have been applied.

3. Synonymy
No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)
1 he always went down to help him ‫همیشه می رفت چنبر ریسمان را برای پیرمرد به‬
carry the coiled lines ‫دوش می کشید‬
2 deep wrinkles ‫شیارهای ژرف‬
3 The blotches ran well down the ‫لکه ها هر دو سوی چهره اش را تا پایین پوشانده‬
sides of his face ‫بود‬
4 deep-creased scars ‫خط های ژرف‬
5 Everything about him was old ‫همه چیز پیرمرد کهن بود‬

In some cases, 1, 3, the near equivalents chosen can be acceptable while in other cases, 2, 4, 5,
the translations have the possibility of being modified so as to obtain nearer, more acceptable
equivalents.

4. Modulation

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 -He hasn’t much faith. .‫ بابام زیاد اعتقاد نداره‬-

-No. .‫ آره‬-
2 But remember how you went ‫ هشتاد و هفت روز هیچ ماهی‬،‫مگه یادت نیست‬
eighty-seven days without fish. ‫نگرفتیم‬
3 -But we have. Haven’t we? ‫ غیر از اینه؟‬.‫ ولی ما که داریم‬-

-Yes. .‫ نه‬-
4 and your eyes are good. .‫چشات هم هیچ عیبی نکرده‬
5 -Do you think we should buy a ‫ چطوره یه بلیط بخت آزمایی که رقم هشتاد و پنج‬-
terminal of the lottery with an ‫داشته باشه بخریم؟‬
eighty-five?
.‫ بد فکری نیست‬-
-We can do that.

Seemingly in all of the above cases, the modulations applied on the part of the translator are not
obligatory; they just serve variation through change of viewpoint, of perspective, and very often
of category of thought. Probably, one can obtain a more TL-oriented translation through
applying this procedure.

5. Addition

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 The sail was patched with flour ‫بادبان با تکه های گونی آرد وصله خورده بود‬
sacks
2 his hands had the deep-creased ‫بر کف دست هایش خط های ژرف افتاده بود‬
scars
3 We’ve made some money ‫حاال یه خرده پول داریم‬
4 The successful fishermen of that ‫ماهیگیرهای موفق آن روز همه از دریا آمده بودند‬
day were already in
5 the noise of you clubbing him ‫صدای تخماق که به کله اش می کوبیدی‬

In some cases, 1, 3, the additions to the translations can be readily omitted. However, in some
other cases, 2, 4, 5, it would be better to keep them, thereby increasing the accuracy, the clarity,
and the beauty of the description.

6. Omission

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 He was an old man. .‫پیرمردی بود‬
2 the boy’s parents had told him ‫پدر و مادر پسر گفتند‬
3 with his skiff empty ‫با قایق خالی‬
4 Let me get four fresh ones. .‫برم چار تا تازه شو بیارم‬
5 After it is light, he thought, I will --------------
work back to the forty-fathom bait
and cut it away too and link up the
reserve coils. I will have lost two
hundred fathoms of good Catalan
cordel and the hooks and leaders.
That can be replaced. But who
replaces this fish if I hook some
fish and it cuts him off? I don’t
know what that fish was that took
the bait just now. It could have
been a marlin or a broadbill or a
shark. I never felt him. I had to
get rid of him too fast.

In some cases, 1, 2, 3, the omissions occurred in the translations do not make any trouble for the
TL reader’s comprehension of the ST, and that is why the translator, in case of intentional
omission, had not needed to worry about his unfaithfulness to the ST. Nevertheless, in case no. 4,
the act of description has been paralyzed by the omissions made on the part of the translator.
Generally speaking, we cannot see our way clear to claim that all of the omissions have been
made intentionally and if so, to claim that we know exactly why the translator has used such
procedure in a given situation. For example in case no. 5 one full paragraph has not been
translated at all. Whether or not it is the translator to lay the blame on for this is not known.

7. Mistranslated Items

This section is not included in Newmark’s translation procedures. It has been added as the last
part just because of its significance in translating and in obtaining the desired results for this
study.

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 His hope and his confidence had .‫امید و اطمینانش هرگز وانرفته بود‬
never gone.
2 -You didn’t steal them? ‫ یه وقت ندزدیده باشی؟‬-

-I would. .‫ حاضرم بدزدم‬-

3 He was too simple to wonder ‫مرد ساده ای بود و از خودش نمی پرسید‬
4 He does not like to work too far .‫این بابا دوست نداره خیلی دور بره‬
out.
5 I think so. .‫خیال می کنم‬

The above items that have been mistranslated may fall into two categories. Some, e.g. 2, 3, 4, do
not have correct translations semantically (in terms of lexical choices); and some others, e.g. 1, 5,
convey the meaning somehow but have not achieved to communicate well or easily with the TL
reader.

2. In this part, some of the examples extracted from the novel with their translations from the
second translator, ‫ یحیوی‬.‫ خ‬.‫م‬, are presented as follow:

1. Transliteration and Transference

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 Santiago Santiago ‫سانتیاگو‬
2 Havana ‫هاوانا‬
3 sardine ‫ساردین‬
4 the Mosquito Coast Mosquito ‫سواحل مسکتو‬
5 guano guano «‫»گوانو‬

In the shaded areas, the translator has applied both transliteration and transference but we do not
exactly know why he has used these two procedures just in some items, not in all of them.
Probably, he has thought that the transliteration of certain words does not look that familiar to
the TL reader because they do not have a high frequency of usage in the TL lexical scope so in
this translator’s view transliteration should be accompanied by transference in these words.

2. Shift or Transposition

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian) Shift

Type
1 it is light ‫ روشنایی‬US
2 orders ‫ امر‬IS
3 It made the boy sad ‫ پسر بچه بسیار متأثر بود‬SS
4 breaking, chopping down, ‫میکوبیدی‬،‫ با تبر بزند‬،‫ شکسته‬G
clubbing
5 He made a quick drop ‫ یکمرتبه پرنده خود را بپائین کشید‬LS-CS
These were another small fraction of shifts in the text with their corresponding translations by
the second translator. Again in some cases, 2, 3, the application of shifts on the part of the
translator has been obligatory while in some other cases, 1, 5, it has been optional; and in the rest
of the cases, 4, they should not have been applied.

3. Synonymy

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 The blotches ran well down the ‫این لکه ها از صورت تجاوز کرده‬
sides of his face
2 there are many tricks ‫برای این کار فنهای مختلفی الزم است‬
3 great DiMaggio ‫دیماجیوی بزرگ‬
4 managers ‫ مباشرین‬-‫اداره کنندگان‬
5 He was holding his glass ‫در حالی که گیالسش را در دست داشت‬

Some cases, 2, 3, 4, have acceptable near equivalents while the other cases, 1, 5, have the
possibility of being improved so as to obtain more acceptable nearer equivalents.

4. Modulation

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 the old man was now definitely ‫هیچ تردیدی نیست که حاال دیگر پیرمرد در نهایت‬
and finally salao ‫بدشانسی میباشد‬
2 You shouldn’t be that tired after a ‫ حال آنکه دیشب‬،‫تو نبایستی که اینهمه خسته باشی‬
windless night. ‫هم هیچ بادی نمیوزیده است‬
3 Why am I so thoughtless? ‫چرا من باید اینقدر بفکر باشم؟‬

In the above 3 cases, the modulations applied on the part of the translator are not obligatory;
these sentences can be translated without having to change their viewpoints.

5. Expansion

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 fished ‫بکار صید ماهی اشتغال داشت‬
2 the flag of permanent defeat ‫بیرقی که حکایت از یک شکست دائمی بکند‬
3 the ice truck ‫اتومبیل باری مخصوص حمل و نقل ماهی‬
4 They picked up the gear ‫آنها لوازم بادبان بندی را برداشتند‬
5 He smelled the tar and oakum of ‫بوی قطران و باقی مانده های لیف های شاعدانه را‬
the deck. .‫از عرشۀ کشتی اشتنشاق می کند‬

In the cases 1, 2, 3, the expansion procedure does not need to be applied and we can use simpler
forms to convey the same meaning; while in the others, 4 and 5, expansion serves us well in the
act of translation.
6. Addition

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 the old man was now definitely ‫هیچ تردیدی نیست که حاال دیگر پیرمرد در نهایت‬
and finally salao ‫بدشانسی میباشد و ماندن او در قایق صیاد پیر‬
‫موردی ندارد‬
2 It made the boy sad ‫پسر بچه بسیار متأثر بود با اینکه دیگر در قایق او‬
‫کار نمیکرد‬
3 like chopping a tree down ‫مثل کسی که با تبر بدرختی بزند‬
4 Do you want me to make the fire? ‫آیا میل داریکه برای گرم کردن آن آتش را تهیه‬
‫بکنم؟‬
5 The old man opened his eyes and ‫مرد پیر چشمهایش را باز کرد و برای لحظه ای‬
for a moment he was coming back .‫مثل اینکه از راه دوری باز گشته باشد خیره ماند‬
from a long way away.

In some cases, 1, 2, the additions to the translations can be readily omitted. Nevertheless, in other
cases, 3, 4, 5, it would be better to keep them, thereby increasing the accuracy, the clarity, and
the beauty of the description.

7. Omission

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 the old man was now definitely and ‫هیچ تردیدی نیست که حاال دیگر پیرمرد در‬
finally salao ‫نهایت بدشانسی میباشد‬
2 he always went down to help him ‫مرتبًا در آوردن طنابها پیرمرد را یاری میکرد‬.
carry the coiled lines.
3 the sail that was furled around the ‫بادبان‬
mast
4 The sail was patched with flour sacks ‫بادبان با گونیهای کف اطاق وصله شده بود‬
and, furled,
5 the benevolent skin cancer ‫زخم سرطان‬

In the above Table, we can identify the additions and the mistranslated items besides the
omissions in the translations but the original intention has been to detect and analyze just the
omissions made on the part of the translator. Nearly in all the cases above, the omissions have
caused the translations to have defective inaccurate descriptions of the events, objects,
characters, and etc. in the original novel. Again in this case, we have no way of verifying the
translator’s intentionality in omitting some text segments.

8. Mistranslated Items

No. Source Text (English) Target Text (Persian)

1 The Gulf Stream ‫آبهای خلیج‬
2 the boy had gone at their orders in ‫پسرک بر حسب امر پدر و مادر خود برای کار‬
‫بقایق دیگری منتقل شده بود‬
 another boat
3 each day ‫هر شامگاه‬
4 flour ‫کف اطاق‬
5 The brown blotches of the ‫لکه های سوختۀ پوست که از انعکاس آفتاب بر‬
benevolent skin cancer the sun ‫ مانند‬،‫روی آبهای مناطق گرمسیر بوجود آمده بود‬
brings from its reflection on the .‫زخم سرطان در پوست صورتش خودنمائی میکرد‬
tropic sea were on his cheeks.

Nearly all the cases above do not have exact and/or correct translations semantically and/or
structurally.

Results and Discussion

Note the following inferences from the two translations:

1. The 1st translator has applied 6 out of 17 Newmark’s translating procedures (35.3%) in
contrast to 7 out of 17 (41.2%) applied by the 2nd translator. The following Tables show the
procedures used by the translators, their modes of application, the number of items detected for
each procedure, the ratio of each procedure to all in percentage terms, and finally the data related
to the mistranslated items.

No. Translating The Number of Items Percentage

Procedure Found (%)

1st 2nd 1st 2nd

Translator Translator
1 Transliteration 38 34 15.8 12.1
2 Transliteration+ 0 13 0 4.6
Transference
3 Shift 86 70 35.8 25.0
4 Synonymy 24 25 10.0 8.9
5 Modulation 14 3 5.8 1.1
6 Expansion 0 8 0 2.9
7 Addition 20 45 8.3 16.1
8 Omission 58 82 24.2 29.3
Tota All Procedures 240 280 100 100
l
Application Mode
Translating Obligatory Nonobligatory Incorrect
Procedure 1st % 2nd % 1st % 2nd % 1st % 2nd %
Translit. 30 78 28 82 4 11 4 12 4 11 2 6
Translit. + 0 0 0 0 0 0 13 100 0 0 0 0

Transfer.
Shift 10 12 5 7 59 68 47 67 17 20 18 26
Application Mode
No. Translating Procedure Acceptable To be improved
1st % 2nd % 1st % 2nd %
1 Synonymy 18 75 11 44 6 25 14 56
Application Mode
Translating Obligatory Nonobligatory Incorrect
Procedure 1st % 2nd % 1st % 2nd % 1st % 2nd %
Modulation 0 0 0 0 14 100 3 100 0 0 0 0
Expansion 0 0 2 25 0 0 6 75 0 0 0 0
Application Mode
No. Translating Procedure To be omitted To be retained
st nd
1 % 2 % 1st % 2nd %
1 Addition 9 45 39 87 11 55 6 13
Application Mode

No. Translating Incorrect Insignificant

Procedure 1 st
% 2 nd
% 1st % 2nd %
1 Omission 41 71 80 98 17 29 2 2
Application Mode
Mistranslation
Semantically Incorrect Unfamiliar
st nd st nd st
1 2 1 % 2 % 1 % 2nd %
83 104 64 77 93 89 19 23 11 11
Abbr.
Transliteration TL
Transliteration+Transference TL+TF
Shift SH
Synonymy SN
Modulation MD
Expansion EX
Addition AD
Omission OM
Mistranslation MT
Erroneous TL SH SN AD OM MT
Application 1 st
2 nd
1 st
2 nd
1 st
2 nd
1 st
2 nd
1 st
2 nd
1 st
2nd
Modes (%)
Incorrect 11 6

Incorrect 20 26

To be improved 25 56
To be omitted 45 87
Incorrect 71 98
Semantically
77 89
Incorrect
The last Table above shows the percentage of the erroneous application modes of the procedures,
which indicate the amount of each translator’s weakness in applying the corresponding
procedure. For example in the case of shift, 20 per cent of the shifts applied by the 1st translator
and 26 per cent by the 2nd translator are incorrect. Hence, the higher the percentage related to
each translator, the poorer his performance will be. Analyzing the results, we readily find out that
the 1st translator’s performance is higher except in the first procedure, transliteration, which is
ignorable.

2. The following Charts show the two translators’ performances, the percentage of translation
procedures’ application, and the percentage of shift types’ application.
3. Neither of the two translators is completely consistent in applying Newmark’s procedures. In
order to evaluate these two from the point of view of inconsistency, we make use of the number
of erroneous application modes in the above Tables. The more the number of these modes for
each translator, the more inconsistent that translator will be. Refer to the following Table and
Chart.

Number of

Erroneous Application Modes

Translation 1st Translator 2nd Translator

Procedure
TL 4 2
SH 17 18
SN 6 14
AD 9 39
OM 41 80
Total 77 153
Percentage 77/240 ≡ 32% 153/280 ≡ 55%

Since the percentage of the 2nd translator is higher than that of the 1st, we readily find out that
the former is more inconsistent in applying the procedures by 23%. This percentage is the same
as that of the difference in performance between the two translators.

Conclusion

1. Generally speaking, there should not be a relationship between the performances of the
translators and the chronological order of their translations. Each translation should be judged on
its own merits at its own time because as we mentioned in the second part of ‘Results and
Discussion’, each period of time possesses its own translating conventions and in order for a
translation to become a smash hit it should conform to these conventions; and since the
conventions change over time, judging two or more translations on their chronological orders
seems not to be reasonable. However in this research study, it happened that the earlier work,
made by the 2nd translator, had a poorer performance by 23%.

2. As we saw in the first chart; the 1st translation, by N. Daryabandari in 1363, had a higher
performance than the 2nd, by M. KH. Yahyavi in 1340, except in applying the first Newmark’s
translation procedure, transliteration, which could be ignored. Daryabandari’s work had a more
communicative, at the same time more faithful and more beautiful translation than Yahyavi’s.
Both translations had made use of Newmark’s procedures nearly to the same degree.

3. Neither of the two translators was consistent in applying Newmark’s translation procedures.
The 2nd was more inconsistent by 23%.

Works Cited

Ed. Anna Sheets Nesbitt. Vol. 36. Gale Cengage, 2000. (2006). The Old Man and the Sea,
Ernest Hemingway: Introduction. Short Story Criticism. Retrieved 2008, from eNotes.com:
http://www.enotes.com/...hemingway

Elizondo, S. (2008). GradeSaver: The Old Man and the Sea - Study Guide - Short
Summary.Retrieved 2008, from GradeSaver: http://www.gradesaver.com/.../shortsumm.html

Hariyanto, S. (2002). The Implication of Culture on Translation Theory and Practice.

Retrieved2008, from TranslationDirectory.com:
https://www.translationdirectory.com/article634.htm

Hemingway, E. (1976). The Old Man and the Sea. London: Triad/Panther Books, Granada
Publishing Ltd.

Newmark, P. (1988a). A Textbook of Translation. Hertfordshire: Prentice Hall.

Newmark, P. (1988b). Approaches to Translation. Hertfordshire: Prentice Hall.

Nida, E. A. (1964). Towards a science of translation, with special reference to principles and
procedures involved in Bible translating. Leiden: Brill.

Topham, J. (2008). The Old Man and the Sea. Retrieved 2008, from About.com :
http://classiclit.about.com/.../aa_oldman.htm

Tronch-Pйrez, J. (2006). Translation Procedures. Retrieved 2008, from Universitat de Valиncia:

http://www.uv.es/...Procedures.pdf

.‫ انتشارات خوارزمی‬:‫ تهران‬.‫ چاپ اول‬.)‫ نجف دریا بندری (مترجم‬.‫ پیرمرد و دریا‬.1363 .‫ ارنست‬،‫همینگوی‬
‫همینگوی‪ ،‬ارنست‪ .1340 .‬پیرمرد و دریا‪ .‬م‪ .‬خ‪ .‬یحیوی (مترجم)‪ .‬چاپ اول‪ .‬تهران‪ :‬کانون معرفت‪.‬‬