Hard to Swallow Monologue
On the morning of Catherine’s twenty-first birthday I persuaded her to let me
Take two polaroid photographs of her.
She had just been released from an…
Entirely unsuccessful stay in hospital weighing little over 3 stone. She was
Incontinent and had lost all muscle control. I hoped to shock her into seeing
How she really looked.
Remember, Catherine was twenty-one years old.
The one condition I made before agreeing to bring Catherine home was that
She handed over her responsibility for eating to me. I made no mention of
Weight target, my overwhelming desire was that she could increase her weight
Sufficiently to prevent her death.
Four weeks after this Catherine weighed 5 stone. It seemed like a miracle.
She acquired a job looking after two adorable little girls- Chistina, aged
One year, and Sarah who was three. She loved it and became very attached to
The children.
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I knew we shouldn’t have gone out. We should have realised that after
All the effort she put into last night she’d feel empty this morning- and
When she stayed in bed this morning … we shouldn’t have gone out.
At half past ten that night the phone rang. She’s obviously changed her mind
Since this afternoon.
Whilst we were at the hospital, the Doctor came up to John in a very agitated
State making out that John had corroborated with her discharge.
She came home with us and, for some days afterwards remained in bed,
sleeping a great deal. John and I planned a week’s visit to the Holy Land to
mark our 25th wedding anniversary and we were undecided about whether to
Hard to Swallow Monologue
go or not.
Pg45
Our trip to the Holy Land became a pilgrimage on Catherine’s
behalf.
Pg 49-50
It was the same old story. She was co-operating to get out and then starve
herself again at home.
There was no attempt to determine the underlying causes of her anorexia and
to deal with them.
Anorexia nervosa represents an arrest of puberty, and , in severe cases, a
reversion towards childhood, reflected in the appearance and attitudes of the
individual. She gains satisfaction and security from the way in which she is
able to suppress her hunger and control both her body weight and body shape.
Every aspect of anorexia needs to be treated, not just the weight problem-
how to cook food without becoming frenetic, how to sit down and eat with
other people and most importantly… how to form relationships. It is vitally
important to help the patient make plans for the future and to rebuild her
self-esteem. Whenever possible, but particularly in severe cases, the
treatment should be carried out by a specialist team, in a specialist unit, able
to provide 24 hr support, and therapy. I thought these ‘experts’ knew what
they were doing.