Scribd
Upload
70 views2 pages

Love and Attachments

The document discusses topics from two books and articles about relationships and human behavior. It talks about how childhood attachment styles formed with parents can impact relationships later in life. Children with secure attachments tend to have healthier relationships as adults, while those with anxious or avoidant attachments struggle more. The document also explains the differences between lust, affection, and attachment. Lust is driven by hormones and creates sexual desire, affection involves feelings for partners' positive qualities, and attachment creates an emotional bond similar to that between a parent and child through chemicals like oxytocin and vasopressin. The author learned about these topics and will apply the knowledge to ensure their future child feels supported.

Uploaded by

api-709737280
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
70 views2 pages

Love and Attachments

The document discusses topics from two books and articles about relationships and human behavior. It talks about how childhood attachment styles formed with parents can impact relationships later in life. Children with secure attachments tend to have healthier relationships as adults, while those with anxious or avoidant attachments struggle more. The document also explains the differences between lust, affection, and attachment. Lust is driven by hormones and creates sexual desire, affection involves feelings for partners' positive qualities, and attachment creates an emotional bond similar to that between a parent and child through chemicals like oxytocin and vasopressin. The author learned about these topics and will apply the knowledge to ensure their future child feels supported.

Uploaded by

api-709737280
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 2

It's funny because, at the beginning of this class, I was dreading reading this book thinking it

would be some useless comment on happiness with no logical or factual content. Still, the
author, Jonathan Haidt, does a remarkable job breaking down studies and research
experiments. Haidt was able to tie the research experiments and studies all together to build a
psychological evaluation. This psychological evaluation explains the reasoning behind human
nature and how they think, speak, and behave. I think the most interesting and
thought-provoking topic that the author covered in this chapter was the attachment theory.

The reason I found this so interesting is due to the way that it correlated with how a child-parent
relationship affects children once they have fully grown up. Now, of course, correlation doesn't
always equal causation. Many different factors play into the lasting effects that are imprinted on
children by their parents. It seems that showing physical affection and providing for a developing
child makes them more likely to be emotionally and even physically intact. A majority of the
studies Haidt referenced on the effects of motherhood as the caregiver, but there has been no
psychological evidence suggesting different attachment styles from the father. What I mean by
that is that there are three attachment styles as pointed out by Juli Fraga in her article titled,
How Parents are Made. These styles are secure, anxious, and avoidant. Children who showed
secure attachment were more likely to be secure in relationships as they aged, while children
who showed anxious tendencies tended to be more insecure in their partner's love for them
which can sometimes cause issues. Avoidant styles are much more apathetic and simply avoid
any attachment as they were left unsupported in their developmental years. As a result of
learning this information, I will ensure that if I am a parent I will ensure my child is not caudled
but very well supported and physically nurtured.

Another interesting thing I learned was the difference between lust, affection, and attachment
and their effects on a relationship. While Hadt covered this I learned most from Katherine Wu's
article titled Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship. The
differences between these three things may be known when you look at them from afar but
when in a relationship sometimes they all blend together and it's not emotionally possible to tell
them apart. However, science tells us differently. Lust is primarily caused by hormones such as
testosterone and estrogen and makes people crave sex. Affection is caused by chemicals like
dopamine, norepinephrine, and seritonin. These things are released when we experience good
things related to a partner such as their attractive appearance, intimacy, or good discussion.
Finally, attachment is caused by oxytocin and vasopressin. These chemicals create less of an
emotional experience and more of a bond. This is most similar to a bond between a mother and
her child.

Sources

Fraga, J. (2020, September 28). How parents are made. Aeon.


https://aeon.co/essays/learn-your-own-attachment-style-to-become-a-better-parent?utm_source
=Aeon%2BNewsletter&utm_campaign=f04b685ac4-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_09_27_10_
48&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_411a82e59d-f04b685ac4-69422937

Wu, K. (2017, February 14). Love, actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and
companionship. Science in the News.
https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companions
hip/

You might also like