 Briefly explain the information contained in your submission.

What were
you trying to say? Why? This should be a few sentences (e.g., “This
submission contains a theory of writing paper that examines (insert theory
topic here). I was trying to…”)
In my essay/remix artifact I tried to research something that I was curious about
and have been curious about for a while now and something I can relate to. This
submission paper contains a theory of writing paper that examines “Why do high
school students hate writing?” I was trying to find an answer not only for myself
but also for other people that hate writing and want to know why. I am trying to
understand why some of us hate it and what can be done so we won’t hate it much.
I also added some pictures to my essay for the remix artifact part of it and in those
images, I tried my best to pick out good images that explain my essay and I also
explain my images.
 Discuss each and every choice you made in service of the goals you
mentioned in #1 and the work you mentioned in #2. (This will be the
longest section of your statement, and could cover several paragraphs.)
In my first essay, which was the second revision, I did receive feedback on it and tried
to apply it into the essay. I got feedback from my professor and peers, and I tried to
incorporate what they mentioned to me in that feedback. I used that feedback because
it was good and helped my essay get better. In this essay I revised paragraph 2 page 2
because I felt that it needed the most revision. I had revised that one because in the
feedback that I got it was mentioned to not let all my essay be my sources so I tried to
revise that the best I could by adding more examples that I thought of. My goal was to
find the answer to my ToW and make the essay good enough. In my essay it mentions
why students hate writing and what educators can do to help students with their
writing.
In my second essay/remix artifact which is my third revision I believe. I also received
some feedback from my peers on what I needed to work on. I tried my best to revise it
to the best I could with the feedback I received. I switched my cites page to the end
and added more information to the last image. I also tried my best to switch my essay
from first person to third person as my professor and peer suggested because it is an
investigative essay. I also tried to make my transitions smoother to the best I could. I
kind of revised paragraph 2 page 2 because I had some “I” in there and it had to be in
third person, also revised the last paragraph on page 4 because it had “I” in it. I tired
making the transitions smother from each paragraph. I left my first paragraph the
same and it talks about my line of inquiry. My second paragraph stayed the same
because it talks about a personal experience with writing. The third paragraph was the
one that I tried to revise so I can make it into a third person instead of first person. I
also tried adding some examples. My last paragraph I did change it but not a lot, I just
had to make it into a third person. On my images I tried adding more information on
the last image.
I did take the feedback my peers recommended so I can make my essay a little better.
I tried my best to make it better than the last revision. It is kind of difficult for me to
revise although I do try my best to make it better each time. I think each time we
revise it gets better, the feedback we receive helps a lot with revising the essay. My
goal is to get the question answered as best as I can to not only myself but also for the
reader.
 What work does your submission accomplish? How? For whom?
In my submission I tried my best to make my essay more understandable. I tried
adding good enough sources for my essay and good images that make sense with my
essay and images that explain my essay but in image format, I also added information
under the images to better understand what is happening in the image. I did try my
best to better my essay/remix artifact to make it more understandable not only for
myself but for the reader as well. I tried my best to explain why some students hate
writing but also what educators can do to better help students struggling with that.
And how educators can make it more engaging and how they can help with the
writing process. I tried to make it as understandable as I could and tried adding
examples as to why students might hate writing and what educators can do. I also
added a personal experience that happened to me with writing because others might
be able to relate to it as to when the hate for writing started and also why I started
hatting writing.
 Explain who and what helped you accomplish your objective.
What helped me accomplish my objective was my peers, my professor and also
myself because I was able to connect my line of inquiry with a personal experience
that had happened to me with writing. At first, I did not understand what to do until
my professor better explained and gave us ideas on what we can add or do to make
our essay better. My peers helped me by giving me feedback on what I can do to fix
my essay so that it can be smoother and more understandable. They also helped me by
giving me feedback on the images I used saying that they were good and that they
explain my essay well, but I just needed to add more information to one image. I think
it is great receiving feedback from peers because I get to see what they found in my
essay that can be better that I hadn’t seen.
 Explain how your sources connect to and support the argument within
your artifact.
I think that every source that I choose gives me good and valid information for my
line of inquiry. Each source can explain why students hate writing or what educators
can do to help students. I also believe that the images I provided go good with my
essay and kind of explain my essay but in pictures. For example, some of my sources
say why some students hate writing is either because of the way it is being graded,
taught, how they can’t think if ideas on what to write about and how that there are so
many rules on writing essay now. In my other sources it gives examples of what
educators can do to help students with their writing so it can at least be easier for
them. All my sources I feel connect to my ToW because it answers my question as to
“Why do some high school students hate writing?” Also, on what educators can do so
that students can like writing better. I think my sources do support my ToW.
 Explain what you have learned about engaging in inquiry, making
rhetorical choices, doing research, and using sources.
When we first started this, I was a bit confused on what had to be done because I had
never done a ToW essay or a remix artifact since in high school, we never practiced
this format or at least in the classes that I had. I learned many new things, for example
how to do an essay in the proper MLA format even though it might still not be perfect.
At least I have an idea of what it is supposed to look like and learned how to look for
valid sources. The research was kind of difficult, but I found sources that had good
information. I also believe that I choose good images for my Tow essay, I feel that
they have a good explanation to my essay. It was kind of difficult to put everything in
my own words and know when to use quotes, but I think I did good with doing that. I
also like that during this whole process we do feedback I think that has helped a lot of
us. Overall, I think my essay/remix artifact is going good so far and still needs work,
but it is a process.

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