In the past, people stored knowledge in books.

Nowadays, people store knowledge on

the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The 21st century has witnessed an unprecedented development of advanced technology,

creating a shift in the way books are kept and stored. However, there exist conflicting
opinions on whether some people claim that the availability of electric storagestoring devices
hashave questioned the existence of libraries with physical storage, with which I partly
agree. This essay will elaborate on the reasons for my perspective. On the one hand,
modern technology unquestionably serves a critical role in facilitating human life especially
when it comes to reading habits. By providing a huge range of media and resources which is
managed in aan logical organization, public libraries offer patrons fast-paced multifunction
compared to stockpiles of books and documents in the racks of the library. To exemplify,
where an ardent reader takes a few minutes to specify the relevant information whilst turning
every page of the books, net surfers need only a few seconds to clickby clicking a few
buttons for the required content. Hence, these modern devices can allure the younger
generation in visiting libraries that resonate with superior technological experiences.
However, it is also essential to acknowledge that public libraries are intended for intensive
readers and learners who crucially remain linked to this primary function. Hi-tech devices
such as computer programs as well as DVDs may be efficient and multifaceted but they do
not enhance intellectual development and critical thinking as reading does. Therefore, it is
reasonable to assert that the primary aim of printed books should be to promote literacy and
education which cannot be permanently substituted by electronic devices in the long term.
To recapitulate, I believe that striking a balance between these objectives is crucial to ensure
that technology continues to be a driving force for human progress therefore traditional
libraries can still remain relevant to serve human’s literate needs.

Task Response
Band Score: 6.0

Quoted text: "However, it is also essential to acknowledge that public libraries are intended
for intensive readers and learners who crucially remain linked to this primary function. Hi-
tech devices such as computer programs as well as DVDs may be efficient and multifaceted
but they do not enhance intellectual development and critical thinking as reading does."

Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point about public libraries being
designed for intensive readers is valid, but the subsequent argument about how hi-tech
devices like computer programs and DVDs do not enhance intellectual development lacks
depth and specific examples. To strengthen this argument, consider providing examples of
how reading promotes critical thinking or intellectual development compared to using these
electronic devices. Describe scenarios or personal experiences where reading has
significantly contributed to enhanced critical thinking or intellectual growth.

Improved example: "However, while public libraries cater to intensive readers, the assertion
that hi-tech devices like computer programs and DVDs lack the capacity to enhance
intellectual development needs more substantiation. For instance, reading a variety of books
exposes individuals to diverse perspectives and complex ideas, fostering critical thinking and
intellectual growth. Unlike digital resources that offer information in a streamlined manner,
reading demands cognitive engagement, comprehension, and analysis, thereby significantly
contributing to the development of critical thinking skills. Personal experiences of grappling
with complex narratives or analyzing conflicting viewpoints within books can vividly illustrate
the mental stimulation and intellectual growth derived from reading."
Quoted text: "Therefore, it is reasonable to assert that the primary aim of printed books
should be to promote literacy and education which cannot be permanently substituted by
electronic devices in the long term."

Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The conclusion about the primary aim of
printed books promoting literacy and education is clear but lacks further elaboration on why
electronic devices cannot permanently substitute them. To enhance this point, delve deeper
into the unique advantages of printed books in fostering literacy and education that
electronic devices might not effectively replicate. For instance, discuss how the tactile
experience of reading physical books, the absence of screen-related distractions, or the
permanence of knowledge gained from printed material contributes to a more profound
learning experience.

Improved example: "Therefore, while acknowledging the primary aim of printed books in
promoting literacy and education, it's imperative to highlight their irreplaceable advantages.
The tactile experience of holding a physical book, devoid of screen-related distractions,
offers a unique learning environment that fosters deeper comprehension and retention.
Unlike electronic devices where information can be ephemeral, printed books provide a
lasting impression, allowing readers to engage more intimately with the content and
encouraging prolonged focus on the material, which significantly contributes to a more
profound learning experience."

Overall, the essay presents a balanced perspective on the advantages and disadvantages of
storing knowledge in books versus on the internet. However, it would benefit from stronger
examples and more detailed explanations to support the assertions made, ensuring a more
comprehensive and convincing argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Band Score: 6.0 Explanation: The essay presents a generally coherent and logically
organized argument. There is a clear overall progression, and the essay effectively uses
cohesive devices. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion within and between
sentences. The introduction is slightly confusing, and there is some underuse of cohesive
devices. The use of referencing and substitution is not always clear or appropriate.
Paragraphing is used, but not always logically. How to improve: Focus on improving the
clarity of the introduction to set the tone for the essay. Ensure consistent and clear use of
cohesive devices, avoiding faulty or mechanical connections. Pay attention to referencing
and substitution for a smoother flow. Work on enhancing the logical organization of
paragraphs for better coherence.

Lexical Resource
Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficiently wide range of vocabulary, allowing for
flexibility and precision in expression. The writer uses less common lexical items with some
awareness of style and collocation. While there are occasional errors in word choice,
spelling, and word formation, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay
successfully conveys the writer's perspective on the advantages and disadvantages of
storing knowledge on the internet compared to traditional books.
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer could focus on refining
the accuracy of word choice and collocation. Careful proofreading is recommended to
eliminate occasional errors in spelling and word formation. Additionally, incorporating more
sophisticated and varied vocabulary would contribute to a more polished and nuanced
expression of ideas.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures with a

variety of complex sentences. There are instances of minor errors and awkward phrasing,
such as "the availability of electric storagestoring devices hashave questioned," which may
be considered slips. Additionally, there are some issues with word choices and cohesion, as
seen in "by providing a huge range of media and resources which is managed in aan logical
organization." However, the majority of sentences are error-free, and the essay maintains a
good level of control over grammar and punctuation. The candidate effectively conveys their
ideas with a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the candidate should
focus on refining sentence structures and word choices. Paying attention to subject-verb
agreement and ensuring clarity in expression will enhance the overall coherence of the
essay. Additionally, careful proofreading is advised to eliminate minor errors and improve the
overall fluency of the writing.

Bài chữa tham khảo

The 21st century has seen remarkable technological advancements, reshaping how
knowledge is stored from traditional books to digital platforms. There's a debate on whether
the availability of electronic devices challenges physical libraries, and I find merit in both
perspectives. I'll explain why I hold this view.

On one hand, modern technology greatly benefits our reading habits. Public libraries
organize a vast array of media and resources logically, offering faster access compared to
combing through physical books. For instance, while avid readers spend minutes flipping
pages for specific information, online users can find it within seconds with a few clicks. This
tech-driven convenience can attract younger generations to libraries offering superior
technological experiences.

Yet, it's crucial to recognize that public libraries cater to dedicated readers and learners who
remain deeply connected to this core function. High-tech tools like computer programs and
DVDs are efficient but fall short in fostering intellectual growth and critical thinking as reading
does. Hence, printed books' primary role should be to promote literacy and education,
something electronic devices cannot fully replace in the long run.

In conclusion, I believe maintaining a balance between these objectives is vital. Technology

should continue propelling human progress while traditional libraries can still play a relevant
role in fulfilling our literacy needs.