The Museum of All Things – A Location to Steal

Collectively written by The Gollicking writing circle; /u/PaganUnicorn, /u/Mimir-ion, /u/DeathMcGunz,

/u/famoushippopotamus, /u/zweefer, /u/PaddyWagon123, and /u/RexiconJesse

History
There is a demi-plane, created by a being of unknown origin, that serves as a vast and meandering edifice built
to house the strangest collection of objects in the known realities. The building and the demi-plane are
synonymous – the building occupying all the available space on the plane. Visitors call it The Museum of All
Things, but the building has its own name, given to it by its creator, and the Museum is a living entity. It has
awareness and can reconfigure its shape at will, and often does so out of boredom or malice if those trapped
inside become violent and disrespectful to its “children” - the vast collection housed within.
The Museum wanders. It is not lost, but it has no destination. Its impressive exterior entrance will often appear in
urban areas wherever it can squeeze into – sometimes in alleyways, sometimes tucked away in parks, or along
shorelines. In the wilds, it can be found nearly anywhere, and will often appear near tourist attractions or
historical sites.
A long and wide sweep of marble stairs, sometimes brick, sometimes adobe, sometimes ice, leads up to a
portico flanked with two majestic statues of black marble – the figures often change, but are always of fantastic
creatures of lore. The large doors are always carved jade and etched in a bas-relief of a million million tiny
shelves, each with a tiny humanoid perched thereon – some of these are recognizable races, but many are not.
The doors have no handles, and will open outwards if visitors approach them. The space beyond the open doors
is one of opulence and clever lighting, showing a well-planned museum/gallery filled with curious objects.
Sometimes faint music is playing. Sometimes not. Once inside, the doors will close on their own, and will resist
all attempts to prevent them from doing so. The doors will then vanish, and will reappear when and if the
Museum decides to let the visitors go.
Some never leave, and have become the Curators of this vast and endless place.

The Curators

The Collector - Runs the Forbidden Wing. Likes to bottle things. Is rarely seen, but when he chooses to show
himself, it is always as a very tall humanoid wearing a silver mask in the visage of a weeping old man.

David - A man who is assistant to the curator of the forbidden wing. Comes in every day insisting that today is
his first day, where he goes into a locked room to do his work. Leaves every evening with a haunted expression
only to return to his "First day" the very next morning. According to the paperwork it is indeed his first day, but the
curators have been seeing him for over forty years

Winston - Weapons collector, purveyor of the odd and possibly useless, with OCD. Doesn’t much mind for
firepower, but enjoys a nice trick. Guns that shoot backwards through time, swords that slay days of the week,
and nets that wrangle colossi. Anything lesser should be given to some thieves’ guild or a trash can.

Barvolomus Typestry - Art collector. Tries to be equally as apathetic as the museum to get on her good side,
but he can’t hide his bright grin whenever he sees a horrid piece of art. “This painting holds the soul of a
forgotten species? I’ve never been so giddy.” He giggles and never laughs. He turns to hide his smile. But
everyone knows he’s got a soft spot for colors on paper.
Dejiny or ‘’Jinny’’ - To say she is a history buff is a gross understatement. She *loves* history. In fact she is part
of it herself. She is a species anomaly, and she never fit in anywhere because of it, but she found her place
amongst the other oddities in the museum. She has one of those classy sexy librarian looks, if you like fangs,
beautiful oval but unblinking eyes, and the two slits she has instead of a nose. She doesn’t care about visitors,
especially since she feels she is seen as just a part of the museum, though when you get her to open up she will
pour her heart out about all she knows, only to be embarrassed if you stop her torrent of information.

Past Evec - Odd little fellow with triple glasses of which he needs to adjust the lenses constantly to see properly.
He loves the properties of all his creatures, but he always talks about them like they are test subjects. As a
matter of fact, he talks about all living things like they are test subjects, which is quite unsettling. He always has
one or two experiments running on one of his subjects, just to see what happens, just to satisfy his curiosity. He
even goes as far as to invite visitors to participate willingly in (often quite harmful) experiments as a ‘’control
group’’.

The Wings

The Museum is broken up into many wings, and some of them are listed below. Visitors can expect to find
anything, however, so a good map and a competent navigator are a must. Some of the wings appear, and
vanish, seemingly at will. Many of them are not listed here.

Weapons & Tools

Appears as a huge workshop, an organized area full of racks, tables, and the occasional glass case. Winston the
Curator tries to keep this place neat and tight, though The Museum seems to have a knack for annoying him and
putting things slightly off the straight and narrow. The more important pieces of his collection can be found
displayed in locked glass cases, the other lesser pieces he keeps around on tables or in racks. People need to
stay on the path and keep their fingers from the exhibits, or only touch with permission.

1. A cigarette lighter etched with symbols of the sea and whaling. its a large curved bone with a flint-wheel
that pulls out to reveal the cotton packed into the hollowed out cavity. It never works reliably the first time
its used, and then will burn through all its fuel on the second try, and will burn for 3 hours if fully fueled.
The light from the lighter can reveal the presence of Abyssal writing (which is normally invisible).
2. A sickle, cuts plants like butter. The plants cut with it stay in perfect shape way longer than they should.
Except roses, rose wither and die violently.
3. A magical crossbow that is completely ordinary in every regard, except for the fact that whenever the
user misses a shot it loudly insults them and their lineage.
4. A pair of gloves that look like bear paws, complete with felt claws. They appear to be quite large, but
always change size to fit the wearer perfectly. On full moons, the wearer of the gloves will change into a
full-sized brown bear, but will have hands of the wearer. This lasts until sunrise, and will repeat on each
night of the full moon. There is a 10% chance that the change is permanent.
5. A longsword whose blade is split clean in half, with constant searing heat on both edges of the break.
The pommel bears the crest of God.
6. Saddlebags made for a pony named Chuck, as stitched in the leather. If it is put on another horse and
the rider calls it anything other than Chuck it will strangle the horse.
7. A tin cup with a bent handle and a dented rim. The base (flipped upside-down) has an inscription written
in Common that says "Who Dat Moose?". There is nothing else remarkable about it's appearance.
Whomever drinks from the cup, however, will demand to be called "Moose" instead of their real name
and will do anything to retain ownership of the cup, including murderous violence.
8. A candle that burns in reverse, collecting material from the aether forming it into a water-rich waxy
substance that can be eaten. Producing a cup-worth of water takes an hour of burning.
9. A pair of sandals that always feel sandy, no matter how often they are washed. The sandals will change
 shape to fit any sized feet. The benefit of the sandals is the ability to walk on water for up to 1 hour.
10. A six sided die which will occasionally land on 7.
11. A whittling knife used to make talisman. It only does creature tokens, and in fact, tokens made by this
knife have a tendency to attract the depicted creatures.
12. A flintlock pistol/hand-crossbow (Depending on the setting) That will invariably shoot through the heart of
the nearest living creature. It is important to remember that the user is usually the nearest living
creature.
13. A cast iron pot. Any (tiny or smaller) creature cooked in here creates a healing potion of equal HD. It is
very gross though, and it has to be cooked alive.
14. A writing quill that when used, the words of the text will periodically change to synonyms of the original
text while unobserved.
15. A wig that when put on makes your character look like you, the player.
16. A ball of twine that absorbs fibers to become bigger. It will resist being used, and will accumulate fibers
within a couple of feet, destroying any piece of clothing in 3d10 minutes.
17. A living spell in a container. It presses its face on the glass, breathes, then writes cryptic messages in
the form of incantations in the glass-fog.
18. A set of utensils that allow the dead to eat food on the Prime Material Plane. They are made from bone
and are ancient and yellowed with age. If a demon can be convinced to use them, it will be forever
destroyed.
19. A bronze bathtub that fills itself from the closest liquid sources when the faucets are opened. Any liquid
qualifies, mixing is not optional.
20. A flashlight. Most natives think its a weapon, or a portal to the Positive Energy Plane, or a trapped
elemental. But it is just a flashlight.
21. A tattoo kit and an image of a door on parchment. If you tattoo that door on living flesh, you can open the
door and enter a dungeon.
22. A hoe that effectively spreads a plant blight, killing off plant life left and right.
23. An archaic video game controller. If plugged into the brain of a living creature (figure that one out) you
can control them in a very robotic and simplistic way. Oh, and the cord is only 30ft.
24. A set of armor, each piece a different type, e.g., chain chestplate, plate gauntlets, leather greaves, etc....
When in combat, the wearer can sacrifice a piece of the armor to completely avoid a successful hit, but
their AC decreases a small amount. If the armor is completely sacrificed, it will return, whole, in 7 days.
25. A stone that will stay the outside temperature despite being somewhere else. It will also become wet
when it rains, be covered in ice crystals with snow, and give you shocks during thunder.
26. A sundial that shows the correct time regardless to whether the sun is in the correct orientation or even
present.
27. A set of glass playing cards, with symbols and numerals unknown to scholars. If shuffled, the deck will
transport the owner to the 450TH ANNUAL RYL'AKS'HOOM TOURNAMENT and be automatically
registered for the Final Death Match.
28. An odd box with a hole in it. When the command word is spoken a paralysing spell goes off, freezing
everyone in front of it and the wielder itself. After 1d6 + 2 minutes the spell fades and the box hums while
producing a hologram of the scenario. Whenever a new hologram is taken the old one disappears.
29. A board game that requires the players to travel through the planes to complete the game. It’s called
"FUN WITH SCIENCE".
30. A whistle that only dragons can hear.
31. A crab cracker that only works when operated by dwarves.
32. A single rusted scale from a piece of scalemail. It seems to attract rust, and when in contact with other
metals it will let them gleam and shine (collecting all rust already present and preventing new). When it
 disintegrates (due to collecting too much rust, or otherwise) the magic is released and all the collected
rust will affect the nearest metal things instantly.
33. A harpoon that will spear a fish from any liquid it is thrust into. If asked the curator will demonstrate by
spearing a tuna from a glass of milk.
34. An iron horseshoe that brings luck to a horse wearing it, but it takes the luck from the rider.
35. A 10' foot pole made of wood that is incapable of displacing any object.
36. A set of tools for installing a door, including hinges and a knob. When placed into an existing door frame,
will open upon the name of any plane that is written upon its face in chalk. Cannot connect physical
spaces on the same plane.
37. A pair of wedding rings that pull towards one another if the player using them is single, and repels if
they're married.
38. A portable brewery and distillery kit that is semi-automatic. It is however slightly damaged and will
produce loads of methanol (causing blindness and death).
39. A brush that changes your hair color when you use it.
40. A simple lever attached to nothing. If you switch it a chest or other container will open (if locked with a
simple lock or worse). If you switch it too many times (5) without a chest being present it will: 1. Break
your arm 2. Bend a leg backwards 3. Rip your jaw open 4. Crack 2d5 fingers.
41. A baseball bat that deals damage equal to the amount of tattoos and piercings you have.
42. A small glass bulb that gives off a bit of bluish light when touched. The light it shines counts as moonlight
for the purpose of revealing things.
43. A dagger that doesn't harm anything stabbed by it, but displays the memories of what it stabs instead.
44. A whip that doesn’t ‘’clack’’ but sounds like a horse whining instead.
45. A set of brass chimes that will calm all the animals who can hear its ringing, regardless of their current
mood.
46. A bowl that whistles if the food in it is too hot to consume.
47. A wooden stool that is unusually comfortable, despite it's simple construction.
48. A deep blue pistol, which compels the wielder to shoot their own head. When done, the wielder's
subconscious will become a physical manifestation, and have an honest conversation with them.
49. A ring that if it is worn and you touch water will make you need to pee badly, seems to be some sort of
college ring.
50. A cloak with a hood that smells of lavender and repels all disease while worn. The drawback is that is
bright orange and stitched with embroidered smiling cat faces.
51. A pair of glasses that allow the wearer to read tiny texts from afar but doesn’t enhance sight in any other
way.
52. A dragon hoodie with a zip-up hood. When the hood is zipped up you can roar like a dragon and fly for
10 seconds at a time.
53. A freezer box made to keep greens green. There is a one in four chance an item gains a glass-like
consistency and breaks upon impact as if touched by liquid nitrogen.
54. A tiny house, two stories, beautiful and always the perfect temperature. It can travel anywhere. But you
have to be tiny to enter.
55. A portable keyhole. A brass plate with a keyhole in it, that, if placed against a door, will let you watch
through it.
56. A pair of ear warmers that heighten the environmental sounds around you, but drowns out
conversations.
57. A set of knitting needles that are capable of knitting together dreams of multiple people or even the same
 person. once complete, if the dreamcoat is worn, the memories are able to be changed, but only once,
and never again.
58. A tool designed to crack nuts. It disintegrates shells, leaving the nuts untouched. Bloody marks between
the teeth and weird stains on the handle leave disturbing thoughts as to what it has been used for
recently.
59. A wooden handle that contains every tool ever conceived within. The ultimate Swiss army knife. Good
luck finding what you need, though.
60. A bell that summons a horse when rung. 10% chance it summons Shael on a Pegasus.
61. A cold Iron spade labeled "THE SPOON OF BALOG."
62. A fingernail sized blade that can cut through anything, even subatomic particles.
63. A lantern that burns brighter the more the wielder is afraid.
64. A set of dueling blades that refuse to deal a killing blow. the individual cases are marked "His" and
"Hers" in High Elven.
65. A small set of silver dining spoons. Scrying is impossible within a 10 ft. bubble centered on them.
66. A group of seven swords, each with a day of the week on them. They can only be used on the week that
is on their blade. When used they always hit and always cut off a limb.
67. A fork that causes any edible substance stabbed with it to be transmogrified into cooked pork. Was
retrieved from the possession of an infamous serial murderer.
68. A dagger that only hurts those who are feeling angry.
69. A candlestick that ignites things that are inserted.
70. A noose that only tightens around the necks of thieves who stole because they were starving.
71. A dagger that can only strike its target in the dark.
72. a set of dishes that can summon rotting food that will fully heal any lycanthropic curses, but will
permanently give the user bad breath.
73. A curved, two handed longsword carved from the neck bones (spine) of a hydra. If the spine sword is
cut, two more blades sprout from the broken point, making it a forked sword, and the second blade deals
an extra 1d6 damage. After 1d4 hours, one of the blades falls off.
74. The blade of this greatsword has a faint blue glow. If you hold it up to a full moon, the glow will grow
righter. After doing so for a moment, the sword reaches its full glow. A mage can cast one touch spell into
the blade. The sword will hold the spell and then use the spell the next time it strikes anything.
75. A dagger made of shadows that can pin shadows to walls, paralyzing the owner of the shadow.
76. A brittle that cannot be removed and makes the wearer behave. Weirdly it seems to be made for a
dwarf.
77. A bow that fires no arrows. Aim it at the head of your target and release the string. The first thought in
the target’s head will be shot out the back of their skull.
78. A saw made of stone, was used as a medical tool for a long time. Very good at amputations, self
amputations, magically programmed into it.
79. A greatsword that only appears in the glimmer of the full moon and can slay beasts which normally are
unable to be killed by a mortal blade.
80. A lockpick set that dances in locks, doesn’t open them though.
81. A gun with a bullet for every bad idea you can give it.
82. A comb that lengthens your hair slightly, but makes it itch (ethereal fleas).
83. Six daggers that seek each other out before sundown, no matter how far away from each other they are,
or what stands in their way.
84. A frying pan that heats up when near a fire, 20ft. is enough. The cast iron it is made of is quite warped.
85. Arrows that ignore organics such as flesh.
86. Sword that cuts negative space open so you can venture into it. In negative space everything is inverted,
even time. So using it to travel makes it appear as though you teleported from one place to another.
87. Backpack made of silk, very soft and easy to carry. The content weighs double as much as normal.
88. Letter opener that will seek out all folded pieces of paper, and cut them neatly.
89. Witch Hunter - this katana must serve a witch and will seek the nearest one out by flying at break-neck
speeds. It has respect for walls and door and will not harm a soul on its journey. In the hands of a witch it
function as a Soul Blade, striking not the body of its target, but the soul. To anyone else, it doesn’t like
you, please put it down.
90. Radioactive paper weight.
91. A shovel that moves solid rock.
92. Boots that let you outrun whatever it is that is chasing you. The faster it is, the faster you go. If there is
nothing chasing you, you are immobile.
93. An old smoking pipe that blows the smoke in whatever shape your current thoughts are about. Is out to
embarrass you.
94. A flickering lantern that shifts colors depending negatively on obvious colors displaced around it.
95. Microphone that amplifies your voice too many decibels.
96. Probability Sword - when you roll to attack, the sword makes an attack for each number you didn’t roll.
97. A gauntlet that absorbs static electricity all the time. When you activate it, roll a d12 to see what happens
(can be used 1/day):
98. 1-4 - hums with bright electric light, will shock anything that touches it
5-6 - discharges, disabling anything electrical around you
7-8 - Electrifies your body, vibrating you fast enough to travel supersonic speeds
9-10 - Turns off with a sputter
11 - Discharges a lightning bolt at target
12 - Creates a connection with the sky, causing a lightning bolt to strike down towards you, will strike
anything in the way.
99. Smoking Hammer, usable 1/day. When you smack it against something, roll a d12 to see what happens.
1-4 - makes minor repairs
5-6 - fixes large damages
7-8 - fixes magical problems
9-10 - repairs electrical damages
11 - shatters it into thousands of tiny pieces
12 - animates it
Ice - clear blue sword, so smooth it rings indefinitely when drawn. Roll d12 to see what it does when you
use it.
1-4 - Cuts off a limb
5-6 - Crystallizes the air (hold your breath)
7-8 - Must be bathed in flame to warm up
9-10 - Shatters opponents weapons
11 - Breaks all glass in area
12 - Freezes water in area
100.Neon - strobing with bright colors, this weapon stuns animals, sends predators running, blinds
humanoids, and draws the attention of dragons.
Arts & Crafts
A huge hall filled to the rafters with trinkets and bobbins. If you have ever been to an old antique shop you know
what kind of cluttered I mean. Things displayed behind, on top of, and in other objects and not a single square
foot not obstructed like a hoarders nest. Paths no more than two feet wide wind through it like an ants nest.
Amongst all these beautiful things wanders Barvolomus, the curator. The fact that he is an art-lover, specifically
paintings, is visible by the fact that the pieces he likes best are the only ones not covered or behind other objects
in his collection. He is happy to let you wander alone, and even doesn’t mind you handling the exhibits as long
as you don’t mess it up (or take it).

1. An egg that is wobbling around in a perfect circle, making exactly ten laps every minute. It is said to
hatch when time stands still.
2. A small oil painting of a ferret. To many people it seems completely mundane. Anyone illiterate who
views it will see the portrait animate. The ferret inside will speak and insult the onlooker before
attempting to teach them how to read.
3. A marble bust of some famous general. It will roll its eyes, sigh deeply, or straight up tell those present
they are making stupid and fatal mistakes.
4. The Deurggometer - a small black box with an eye-hole in it. "DO NOT LOOK INTO THE BOX" is
painted on a sign in big red letters. Inside the box are little clay figures that look like people you know.
Ask the person looking into the box to name a failed love. That person is now in the box. Ask them if they
like their mother more or their father more. Whichever one they pick is not present. Ask the other player's
at the table to place one more person in the box (this can be anyone from the player's life). Then you, as
the DM choose one more player at the table to be present in the box.

Roll to determine what happens. Mark down each roll so you remember how many times you rolled, and
after each roll ask the player if they want to keep looking. Continue to roll until they say they can't watch
anymore.

For each outcome, roll 2d4 to determine who does what. Then place a verb between them:
Loves
Kisses
Marries
Adventures with
Hides
Dines with
Fucks
Bites
Stabs
Betrays
Cries about
Buries
Ostracizes
Eats
Chases
Cleaves
Mocks
Executes
Owns
Comforts

The number of times you roll equals the amount of days before one of these things comes true.
5. A mask of a crow. If worn, the speaker will be attacked by phantom crows until the mask is removed.
However, the mask does not want to be removed and will resist by psychically attacking the wearer. If
the mask wins the struggle, the wearer will die of his imagined wounds in less than an hour. If the owner
wins the struggle, the mask teleports 10-1000 miles in a random direction, but will always end up in a
place of civilization, regardless of distance traveled.
6. A colander that turns all solids into liquids, this includes limbs and fingers.
7. A gold coin minted in some long forgotten time. The face on the coin is of an old man with a short beard
and a crown. When flipped the coin always lands heads up.
8. An ordinary table, however, carved into its surface is an effigy of a famous artist named Fruhe. It is
animated and winks, blows kisses, and burps.
9. What do you see? - by Thelma - Whoever looks at this painting will see the room (or place) they grew up
in. If you look at it alone, the painting will move and show you a moment from your past. If you crawl into
the painting you will inhabit your child body for exactly 10 seconds of real time (long enough to say one
thing that you do) before being ejected from the painting.
10.A small figurine of a dragon. It changes colour like a chameleon, to the appropriate colour of the closest
thing with draconic blood.
11. Your childhood stuffed animal. The plaque under it reads "First stuffed animal of [insert PC] retrieved
from his gravesite.".
12.A kid’s doll that seems to animate when no-one is looking. It is depressed or has other issues as it can
nearly always be found attempting to kill itself (by impalement or in a fire). As it is magical it is not easily
destroyed (it might actually be a phylactery).
13.A jacket that compliments the wearer on its fashion choice every single time there is a reflective surface
nearby. It is stitched in narcissism.
14.A small wooden box with some silver markings on its surface. You can hear something shift inside,
however it has neither a lock nor hinges, cutting it open by force reveals it to be solid wood.
15.A mirror that reflects an image from .5 seconds in the future.
16.Door Stopper made from a weighed-down goblin skull.
17.A chess set of all Queens and 1 King. If a game is played, the loser is Banished to the Demi-Plane of
Chess.
18.A crystal pendulum that points towards the biggest booty. Too many bored and horny wizard students.
19.A pair of shoes that grant the ability to jump at great height. Was sold to the museum by a Djinn who
claims to have found them floating above the atmosphere.
20.A handheld mirror that reflects the colour red better than all other colours.
21.A paintbrush that paint will never ever stick to.
22.Three black satin scarfs that will animate and censor certain parts if too much skin is shown.
23.A tiny doll version of yourself that you can embody, but your regular body will become a doll in the
meantime.
24.A small porcelain pig with a slit on its back. When someone curses in its vicinity it will start screeching
uncontrollably and will only be silenced by putting a silver coin in it, or gold if it was really rude.
25.Two gold coins that when rubbed together reproduce.
26.A pearl oyster that opens up on proximity blows bubbles. When the bubbles pop it sounds like they are
saying the name of the closest person to it.
27.A tiny statue of Hastur. If the statue is rubbed, and Hastur's name is spoken, there is a 75% chance that
the user's wish will come true, and a 25% chance that Hastur will manifest and punish the offender.
28.A vase with a single flower. The flower opens and closes with the heart beat of the last person that
touched it.
29.A toy otyugh that vomits cloth garbage when you pull the string on its back.
30.A small painting the size of a hand. Depicted are a farmer and a smoking dog. The pipe actually
produces a whiff of smoke which smells like an extinguished candle.
31.A Skeleton Key. You can use it to unlock a heart (to make someone love the first thing they see), a
bladder (to make them pee), or any other part of the body. Does not unlock doors.
32.A locket with a picture of a woman, at least as long as a man looks at it. Any female will see a picture of
herself there. Engraved with the initials E. A., the initials of a famous bard.
33.A painting of an old hag wearing a cloak and hood in a bad frame. If hung on the wall, over the next 30
days, it will slowly transform into the painting of a beautiful man or woman. After the painting has fully
changed, the owner will meet the subject of the painting and fall madly in love with them, and the feeling
will be mutual. The painting will then teleport away.
34.A pocket watch that does not display time, but it's hands are always turning very fast. It ticks ever so
often when an anomaly in time is detected.
35.A coin that when flipped tells you something nice about the person you're looking at.
36.A whittled whistle. Blowing it produces the sound of a soft breeze through trees.
37.An orb that swallows a negative emotion and spits out a black butterfly.
38.A seashell that when you listen to it will whisper something extremely sexist/racist in your ear.
39.A monocle that changes every person the wearer sees to be happy.
40.A fake plant that produces a mechanical flower when there is joy around.
41.A tiny clay man wearing a tiny hat. If a name is scratched into its chest, it will come to life and perform
complicated dances, but only when the owner is alone.
42.A painting of nude nature, but it is painted so much in a modern art style that it appears horrid and no
elegant shapes are left. Works like a cold shower.
43.A brick of modeling clay that when used to sculpt small creatures they come to life. If two of these
creatures encounter each other they will battle to the death, the loser reverting into a blob of clay.
44.A dye-mixing set that once belonged to some famous painter. It is said that the colors mixed are still
those of his last painting, and two of the colors are so rare they can’t be produced anymore.
45.A beautiful painting of the sea. It moves when you look at it. You see yourself floating on your back.
You're smiling.
46.A tripod contraption that seems to be 2D and pulled from canvas. It is fully functional though.
47.A necklace with rough cut stones and glass strung on it. It makes the wearer feel comfortable in all
conditions.
48.A feather pen that, when left alone, will scribble rude comments and sarcastic remarks in the borders of
pages.
49.A snowglobe of (insert city from your world), shaking it makes it snow there.
50.A painting made with a single color: Blue. However if you look closely there are some odd shadows in
the painting that could be whales and fishes.
51.A full sized 110-pipe organ, complete with padded bench. It comes with a songbook of the greatest hits
of Heaven and Hell. If played by a skilled performer, will draw a host of the appropriate type to come and
judge the performance. A poor performance will have unpleasant consequences, while a good one will
grant the player a Boon. The organ will then teleport in a random direction.
52.A small music box that makes sounds when opened as if it was connected to another object somewhere
else. Effects could include: 1. Busy tavern 2. Snoring man 3. Diner table 4. Street sounds 5. Whispering
meeting 6. Bedroom noises 7. Playing kids 8. People begging for mercy before being murdered.
53.A tiny hand mirror that will reflect the owner at any age it desires, including into the future. there is a 10%
chance that Shael will gaze back at the owner.
54.A letter filled with musical notes. Believed to be the last mad ramblings of a legendary composer, the
notes are said to be impossible to play.
55.A set of tiny iron soldiers wearing the livery of Kalan, The Unspeakable. if the soldiers are arranged into
an attack position, there is a 50% chance they will animate and become full sized, obeying the
commands of the owner, and a 50% chance that the owner will be forced to wear the livery of Kalan for
the next year, losing their name completely.
56.A fake apple, seems to be made of some sort of crystal. Strangely a bite seems to be taken out of it,
three teeth seem to be left behind.
57.A music box that plays pleasant music. 5% chance of invoking the curse of Shael when the song
completes.
58.A full set of original sheet music. They are really ugly and blunt sailors songs.
59.One hundred carved wooden ducks each bearing the name of a constellation. They are unremarkable
otherwise.
60.A strange tattoo on a piece of grafted skin. The tattoo is of an eye, which follows you around the room if
you have any kind of divine link.
61.A gold coin that can only be stolen.
62.A cello with 11 strings, three of which run diagonal somehow.
63.A coin that changes metals every time its flipped.
64.A drum that echoes like a wishing well, creating some strange sound effects.
65.A set of brushes. Whatever is painted with them will come into existence.
66.Fox pelt that lets you turn into a fox when you throw the head over your own head
67.A small CRT monitor with a video playing. Stock images with the phrase “A Life Lived” infrequently
passes over the images. If a visitor watches the presentation, some of the stock images will be replaced
by moments in their own live. There are headphones attached to the display, but they only produce a
low, static-filled tune. The name of origin of the tune is unknown.
68.Two leather bracelets, each one with a marble eye on the cuff. The eyes will always look toward each
other, no matter the distance between them.
69.A perfect replica of a sperm whale skeleton made entirely out of the skeletons of fish.
70.An old house uprooted and put on display. Through the windows, people can watch the events of the
families that lived in the home unfold in real time. Inside, the house is empty.
71.A healer’s kit that holds an unlimited amount of strong liquor, but it can only be accessed by the person
performing a medical act.
72.A set of building blocks that will scold the builder if they build anything other than build a “traditional”
looking home. The voice is male, and his words often slur together.
73.A bucket of paint. When the person holding the handle of the bucket says a color, any paint drawn from
the bucket will be that color. It does not produce paint on its own, but it can change the color of any paint
poured into it.
74.A metal pendant with a bloodshot eye carved into the center. Anyone who views the pendent cannot
sleep when they think about it.
75.A sleep mask that allows the wearer to experience lucid dreams. During lucid dreams, a figure can
always be seen in the distance, watching the dreamer.
76.A kettle that when filled with water and boiled, the contents poured out is spiders.
77.A painting of three men. These three men represent the past, present, and future. They will posture
themselves in a demeaning act that represents those eras of your life.
78.A dark dragon figurine made of chocolate that melts at room temperature. If it melts it releases an
almighty dragon.
79.A vase full of dried and dead ever-lasting roses.
80.Ethereal painting, functions like a window into the ethereal plane.
81.A set of a dozen small pieces of colored parchment, each carrying a strange symbol. Each symbol
seems different to a viewer, and often some can be recognized. They represent symbols important to the
person and his/her life.
82.A weirdly shaped clay bowl, it is hideous. Made by a dragon.
83.A small simple painting of a landscape. The sun is golden and the moon silver, they represent the true
diurnal cycles, showing the landscape in all the different lights.
84.A painting that slowly turns around its center point, complete frame and all. It depicts only weird shapes
and colors.
85.A clay tablet with a carving of a very muscular naked man. A daring piece of pornography made by one
of the First Women.
86.A large marble statue of a wyvern in action, the stinger is a fountain. The wyvern is killing what appears
to be a griffin.
87.A whole weapon rack filled with weapons that have been modified to function or resemble tools of the
trades, such as a battleaxe plow, a whip brittle, and a bend sword pickaxe.
88.A flashfrozen humanoid, encased in frost and snow. It is the artist himself in a pained expression of a
horrid hypothermal death.
89.A brain in a jar. The brain is very mangled and seems to be modified in extreme ways. The artist was an
experimental illithid. The thoughts it seems to be able to express telepathically are disturbingly perverse,
examining the flavor of nearby brains by telepathic probing.
90.A set of warded spoons so intricately crafted and sublimely concealed you can only see them when you
look directly at them. Also, you can only see them once.
91.A full-sized stuffed owlbear teddy. When you press its tummy hard it will open its beak and Hoot.
92.An egg, painted with tiny tiny lines. For those who look closely it shows to be a maze, and they say
nobody can solve it.
93.A shining unicorn, so beautiful it hurts. Some can see through all this glamor and see it for what it really
is: A donkey with a stick in its head looking silly.
94.A small ship sailing in a large bottle, shaking the bottle will change the weather. Tiny sailors seem to man
the ship, and somewhere in the depth of the jar is a living kraken (just a small octopus, but seems on
scale).
95.A book that says all people are puppets in a show. If you skip to the last page it will show you who holds
your strings, <insert player name>.
96.A curtain rail with what seems to be invisible curtains. In fact, looking through them from the outside will
always reveal an extra person in the room.
97.A mirror that shows you who you think you are.
98.A box with a thousand tiny scrolls. You have to pick one and it will give you a wisdom for your life, like
fortune cookies. Only they are in fact tiny curses that cling to you until a bad thing happens involving
your ‘’wisdom’’.
99.A tin soldier that is perpetually marching around a tiny flagpole, and it will defend it fiercely, it will even
stab you with its tiny but keen halberd, insulting you in french.
100.A female doll that will act like a mother to you, telling you to clean your room, straighten your hair, or put
on some appropriate clothes. If not compliant it will compel you as per spell.
Living Things
A huge glass-domed ceiling orbits this classy looking room. Although the dome above is glass there is nothing
“outside’’, instead the whole doom appears to be divided into huge aquaria or terraria. Everything in between the
clean scrubbed floors and the domed ceiling is a mesh of glass and steel, from old-fashioned iron cages to
intricate glass complexes all kinds of containers can be found here. It is a cacophony of sound in this area, even
though some cages seem to be specifically muted or otherwise magically warded. Past Evec wanders between
the living exhibits and the surgical tables, he keeps his experiments near the back wall in special warded glass
cages. He is eager to explain his experiments and involve you in it.

1. A jar of a glue-like oozing substance. When fed bones it will produce a sticky glue, when hungry it turns
acidic and vaporous. It can die.
2. Three oddly shaped seeds, they seem to hate the sun. It grows during the night on moonlight, giving off
an odorous scent, before developing a seed again at the end of its life cycle and the morning light.
3. A bag of seeds in a burlap sack. There are approximately 500 seeds in the bag. If planted, they will grow
into full sized fence posts in approximately six weeks. The posts will never rot and never need painting.
4. A small rooted plant that screams wildly if touched.
5. A young man. No, not a preserved one, a live human male aged about 23. He smells constantly of skunk
spray and demands you keep a distance from his display. He is otherwise very inward.
6. Flowers that seem buoyant and float in the air, they have ethereal roots and sail along astral currents to
spread themselves.
7. A mockingbird that will appear as a beautiful piece of taxidermy, but will reveal itself to be haunted by the
ghost of an angry spirit who mocks the owner relentlessly while in its presence. The mockingbird can
never be sold, but can be given away.
8. A human heart in a glass jar full of dirt. The heart is beating.
9. A stuffed skunk the size of a bull. The skunk's black and white fur is reversed, and it has 7 eyes and six
legs. The stink gland has been surgically removed, with large unruly stitches in its wake.
10.An old clock that produces a dove every whole hour. Sometimes the bird is mangled and dead, other
times it just flies away.
11. An umbilical cord in a neat wooden box, lined with velvet. The cord itself has small, glassy eyes over its
surface.
12.A pair of halfling hands that are locked in a cage. They jump at the bars and try to pry through, moving
like spiders, and fighting like monkeys. Hands seem to belong to the same person.
13.A set of hydra's teeth in a carved wooden box. On the bottom of the box the name "Ray" has been
carved hastily and with an amateur hand. If the teeth are planted, a single skeleton will rise for each
tooth and will obey the owner's commands to the best of their ability until destroyed.
14.A smelly black lily, said to be the last of its kind.
15.A viking who has no idea what he is doing in a museum. It's labeled "Perfect recreation of an ancient
warrior. Totally not a real person."
16.An apple that rolls around. A small glass window set in the apple allows you to see some sort of insect
that turns itself around, using the gyroscopic moment of its body to move the apple.
17.A bird cage that will kill any living thing placed inside it, but if left alone, will slowly manifest an Infernal-
equivalent over 30 days. This hell-pet will act like a real pet, unless its owner is ever alone with it, at
which point, it will try and escape. Its ability to breed with creatures on the Prime Material Plane is
unparalleled.
18.A dried-up rose that will come to life when pure hatred is nearby.
19.An egg-shaped cage made of willow branches. Its craft seems simple, however it can hold magical
creatures as if it had anti-magical properties. What currently is in it is a mystery as it keeps itself invisible
at all times.
20.A copper heron statue that, if placed near water, will act as if alive and life-like. Its copper belly is often
found full of rotten and fermented fish.
21.A normal sized carrot that weighs 300lbs.
22.A scrawny chicken that flutters around. It has two stones for eyes but seems to see fine, although slightly
nearsighted.
23.A life-sized unicorn that claims the gods are false and the true meaning of life can only be found in the
old ways. The unicorn refuses all saddles, bridles, or hats.
24.A wool blanket that will occasionally “bleat” as a sheep.
25.A brass hippopotamus. Life sized. When its snout is rubbed there is a 50% chance the hippo will
transform into a real hippopotamus, and a 50% chance that the victim is turned into a life-sized brass
hippopotamus.
26.A (fake) plant, made of some sort of organic fiber, resembling a tiny Shambling Mound, that will clean
your room and leave a slightly slimy trail.
27.A puppet in the form of a human or an animal, it depends on the desire of the one who claims it. It has a
string to open and close the mouth and its limbs are fully articulated. The puppet has a name tag stitched
to it, and its always the same name as the person who claims it. Over the course of 30 days the puppet
will attempt to switch the owners mind into the doll, while it occupies the owner's body. If it is successful,
it will live the most mundane, boring life it can, not trying to destroy anything, but not helping either, and
will become listless and only interested in food and sleeping. After 30 days of this it will become bored
and switch back. If it is not successful, it will be forced to wait 30 days before it can try again.
28.Some sort of human sized humanoid puppet. It is male and seems to possess all the correct anatomical
parts, in full rigor, including a tail and two pair of horns. Said to be flesh-molded from a real humanoid,
beyond macabre.
29.Two little birds in cages that tweet when they are apart and will do anything to come together.
30.A toad that croaks the alphabet.
31.Empty flower pot. If you collect a flower from a place and plant it in the pot, you can smell that place by
sniffing the flower.
32.A small faery on a silver and runed chain. A small sign informs you this faery is responsible for the
individual deaths of 783 sentient creatures.
33.An invisible, invincible creature trapped in a lead box. It kills something random once a year if released.
34.A huge spider the size of a horse. It is called Beth and thinks it is a dog, it wants to get cuddles and be
petted.
35.A 6 inch tall horse.
36.A nest of mechanical wasps. They are currently contained in a large glass jar, as they have figured out
how to reproduce.
37.A disembodied head of a Modron. The creature will accurately guess the weight of anyone who stands
within 1' of it.
38.A small beer elemental in a keg.
39.A suit of armor that always approaches mundane animals and pets them. It imitates a soft cooing noise
when it pets them, which usually soothes the animal. It can be worn, though it is difficult to stop it from
petting animals.
40.A flea circus, and a really good one at that, with fire ring and top-hatted manager and everything.
41.Four mice, each one missing an eye: two left, two right. They will sometimes form a circle, placing their
good eye into another mouse’s empty eye socket. When they do, they will speak in a voice in common
and make a request. The request is usually simple, such as food, water, a mate, or darkness so they can
sleep.
42.A collection ten Victorian outfits for men and women. Each item has the posture of a human, but closer
 inspection reveals there is no mannequin beneath the clothing. The clothing will sometimes change its
pose, yet is has not done so while being observed.
43.A chipped talking teacup with a squeaky voice.
44.A creature both werewolf and vampire, proving the concept is in fact possible somehow.
45.A chicken without a head. Though, in fact, if you look closely you can see there is an ethereal head
present. The soul of this poor feathered fellow got stuck in its body, and though it retains all it faculties it
is in fact unable to die.
46.A cat with 9999 lives. Small creational anomaly. It currently has 5873 left.
47.A goose that some alchemist attempted to create golden eggs. It is quite mangled and looks near dying
all the time. This is due to the fact it lays lead eggs, poisoning itself in the process.
48.A human blob of skin and mucus. A lab accident in a wizard college produced this when one of the
students accidentally removed all bones from its body with magical malpractice.
49.The first prototype of the very first Owlbear. It looks disgusting as it grows patchy fur and feathers and
oozes some kind of black substance from where a beak should have been.
50.The first ever recording and capture of a being called the Glapp. It exists as a perfect form of spiritual
energy, capable of completely mimicking another species to the last details. An undetectable soul
parasite if you will. It’s disguise so perfect it was never known to exist until this species was caught
during some freak accident.

The Fretting Zoo

A collection of anxieties and other mental debilities, secluded in a small dark side-wing.

Consumables & Potions

An ever-changing network of halls connecting the wings in odd Esher-type ways are lined with shelves and glass
cabinets. These cabinets and shelves are lined with tons of labeled and unlabeled flasks, bottles, and other food
containers.

1. A dull green glass bottle, filled with transparent oil that rolls about like the sea's tides. Its label, written in
Undercommon, reads "Immortality." It is sealed with a deep black cork, and if opened reeks of skunk
spray.
2. A bag of bone meal, made of unicorn horns.
3. A single bottle of pink, fizzy liquid. There is a label affixed to it written in Celestial. It reads "Heaven's
Cola" and is sealed with a white cork. A note it attached to it by a thick string and a handwritten note is
attached, written in Abyssal, that says, "Happy Birthday Dad".
4. Two apples from The Garden of Eden, still lush and blushing from being picked.
5. A set of 6 jars of preserves in a calico-lined wooden basket. The jam will raise the dead, but requires the
owner to give up something precious to them - this includes family members, property, and memories.
6. A chocolate spider the size of a hand, covered in some kind of humanoid hair. It crawls along its glass
cage, searching for more hair to absorb.
7. A crystal tea kettle, with what looks like an ocean raging inside of it. If boiled, the temperature of the
coasts will rise dramatically. If drunk, the tides will recede further and further back.
8. A piece of soap that is said to turn into a 10 ft. cube of bubbles if it comes into contact with someone that
is too dirty. This might lead to slight suffocation.
9. A red pill that takes you to the Modron Plane, and a blue pill that takes you to the PMP.
10.A small bag of golden grains.
11. A hookah that, when smoked, gradually transports the smoker into the ethereal plane. If not smoked to
completion, the smoker becomes semi-impermeable, randomly phasing from solid to gaseous.
12.A fragrance designed to charm men, and get rid of women. Designed to eliminate competition.
13.A candle that will grant a wish if blown out on your birthday.
14.A old sealed jug, said to contain the first wine ever made.
15.A birthday cake that will feed a group of 8. Once a piece is consumed, the owner drops into a deep sleep
for 24 hours, but will awaken fully refreshed and healed of all diseases, curse or afflictions. However, an
astral parasite now feeds on the victim and will permanently drain 1 HP per day until the host is dead.
The parasite can be removed by a cleric of at least 9th level. The cake only ever appears in dungeons.
16.Silverbark - Cinnamon sticks grown in a unique pocket dimension made to grow these elusive and rare
deep-jungle trees.
17.A pitcher that always pours the owner's favorite drink, and restores 1d4 HP. The drawback is that the
entire pitcher must be consumed to gain the effect, and the drink becomes alcoholic, regardless of its
original composition.
18.A batch of black garlic, a species so enhanced in flavor and smell it could knock-out a vampire three
blocks over. Currently concealed in a glass jar.
19.A bar of bitter cocoa that banishes doubt when eaten.
20.A huge seed, said to make people immediately obese, even after a small bite.
21.A jar of honey, with matching wand. Never empties.
22.A bunch of dried herbs bound in a bushel. Dragon catnip.
23.A small honey bee token, carved from soap. When crushed, it summons a honeybee familiar to serve
you. It can only give advice in a soft, kind tone.
24.A bunch of fluttering butterflies made of caramelized flower petals in a big glass jar.
25.A set of gingerbread men molds that only work on human flesh, and will create homunculi that will serve
the owner until they are destroyed.
26.A small locked box. A bronze plaque on top reads ‘’Ambrosia Yeast’’. Said to be the same yeast originally
used in the brew of this divine elixir.
27.A tongue that replaces your tongue. It can extend 10' and has a hypersensitive sense of smell.
28.A smelling salt that can wake you from the dead, but a sniff will take away your sense of smell for 1d4+2
years.
29.A group of 7 mushrooms, each with the abbreviation of a day of the week (Sun-Sat), eating one takes
you back to the last occurrence of that day.
30.An alchemical compound that, when smelled, will let your nose grow when you lie. It does not naturally
reverse this process however, enjoy the permanent feature.
31.A pouch containing one pound of the most potent drug in the universe. A single molecule is enough to kill
a man instantly, while he experiences 1000 mental years of pure ecstasy.
32.A chicken leg said to have been the last meal of Umgrush the Orc King. Eating it is said to give you his
strength and resolve. It is a nice fact to know the king was poisoned by the same piece of chicken, giving
a creature that took a bite 3 days to live, of which 2 days 23 hours and 57 minutes in coma.
33.A red liquid that when drank turns you into an old King long thought to be dead. 10% chance of turning
you into Shael.
34.A bowl of octopus rings that still wringle and worm around as if alive. Apparently this dish was prepared
by some master cook, and this was saved from one of the meals he prepared.
35.A small tea kettle that fills with acid if the phrase. "be careful with that one, he's a biter." Is spoken within
a 2 mile radius.
36.A flask with an unknown liquid. It cannot be poured out unless it is standing upright (in which case
nothing happens since gravity). The flask is very sturdy and in inscription reads ‘’Those that drink smart
and slow will drink this drink made long ago.’’.
37.A wineskin that at random will take out the alcohol of the substance it contains before adding it some
time later. It is a health risk to drink from, but often invokes quick inebriation or not at all.
38.Potion of speak with metal.
39.Potion of speak with fire.
40.Potion of speak with dungeon.
41.Potion of crow polymorph.
42.Potion that makes you believe you are a dragon.
43.Potion of sentient clothing.
44.Potion of sentient hair.
45.Potion of insect control.
46.A chocolate coin that, if eaten, makes you throw up gold coins for an hour.
47.Bottle of helium, if swallowed allows you to float.
48.Bottle of water that turns your body into water.
49.Jelly donut with unlimited jelly inside.
50.A piece of paper that, when eaten, turns you 2D.
51.Brain in a jar that contains the dream of a dead god.
52.Edible book that contains knowledge that can only be obtained after it is digested.
53.Blue honey, a single dead purple bee is floating around in it.
54.A box of candies, with the worst flavors in humanoid history.
55.Caramelized cat dreams poked on tiny metal sticks.
56.Cans of troll burps.
57.Chocolate fountain that lets the hot chocolate dance like a curvy elven woman.
58.Toasted seeds of the World Tree.
59.Giant Electric Eel sushi, still charged.
60.Insta-blubber. A substance in a small jar that turns any sand-based material in a 10ft. square into blubber
upon being poured.
61.Tiny purple berries that will turn your skin magenta for 3d4 days.
62.Liquid ice. Gives you instant brain freeze for 1d4 hours.
63.Two fried and crispy dragon balls.
64.A box of pleasant dreams, or peasant dreams.
65.Salt of bad thoughts.
66.Bowl of forbidden fruits.
67.Angel dust. From an actual angel.
68.Mermaid tears.
69.Potion of resist bad comments.
70.Can of whoop-ass.
71.A potion you pour onto an item. The item insults its owner for 1 hour.
72.Potion of the Deulex the Shield Fiend. If you’re using a shield and an opponent misses you by two or
less, they hit your shield and they have disadvantage on their next attack. If they do not attack, the effect
ends at the start of their next turn.
73.A bottle of liquid silver. Consuming it poisons you. As long as you are poisoned by it, you know the
location of Balog the Spoon Thief.
74.A jar of pickled eggs. Each egg holds a different accent. When consumed, the egg will cause the person
eating it to have a strong accent (accent chosen randomly). Accent lasts1d4 hour(s).
75.A bit of catnip. If consumed, you will have advantage on handle animal checks dealing with cats, but
have disadvantage on handle animal checks with dogs. Effect lasts 1d4 hours.
76.A can of tomato juice. Looks like it’s from the 1950’s. It’s considered unsafe to drink/eat. But if you do
end up getting a taste, you see everything in black & white. Things exists in black & white that don’t exist
elsewhere. Be careful.
77.Black Swan - a glass bottle that tapers off like a Swan’s neck. It’s filled with black liquid. Drinking it splits
your body into your evil half and good half. You control one half, the DM gets the other. Flip a coin to see
who picks.
78.Queen Takes Rook - A set of chess pieces. Each piece is made of chocolate. Eating one turns you into
the role of that piece for 24 hours.
79.Ingenue - a spool of edible yarn. Eating it smoothes out your body and allows it to unspool like string.
80.Distant Soil - breathing in the scent offers a memory that’s not yours from a far away land.
81.A toad in formaldehyde. Eating the body allows you to breath under water. Eating the legs allows you to
climb at your walk speed. Eating the body gives you reach and a bite attack. Each effect lasts 1 hour
after consumption. Drinking the formaldehyde makes the effects last twice as long.
82.This Place - Eat a piece of this laffy-taffy and save the rest. Whenever you eat the next piece you will be
transported back to the spot you originally ate the laffy-taffy.
83.Tesla Sphere - this electric ball of wax causes your to warp into electric energy, traveling at the speed of
light. Where you end up is entirely up to the DM. So start praying.
84.Contortion syrup - putting this on something allows it to bend and warp like plastic. Drinking it allows you
to do the same.
85.Your old clothes - this set of clothes from your childhood can be eaten to create a younger doppelganger
of yourself. It acts independently of you. It’s a child after all.
86.A broken wine bottle. Eating all the pieces turns your mouth into a seemingly endless fountain of wine.
87.A bottle of wine with a bottling date that has yet to pass.
88.A glass ball. When chewed and swallowed, the blood from your mouth and throat pool together and
become an ooze.
89.Fifty Shades of Hay - Feeding it to horses urges them to breed. Offspring will live twice as long as
normal.
90.Gummy Stuff - it’s like a small mimic. It takes on the shape of an object on your person, only it’s made
entirely of gummy-bear material. What happened to the original? You’ll have to eat the mimic to find out.
91.Fire Flower - When consumed, your open mouth has the light effects of a lantern. Lasts roughly 12
hours.
92.Insta-kid - you and one other person chew a piece of this gum, and as long as you’re chewing it it
creates a small, maniacal version of your would-be-child.
93.Alcohol - this is a meta item. It grants advantage every time you take a drink. BUT! The player has to
actually take a drink of alcohol. 21+ Unless you’re in England or whatever. You know your own laws.
94.Fungus Fly - A jar of strange, spotted flies. Consuming one allows you to get everything you need to
remain healthy for a day (food, water, sunlight) from simply eating fungus. Consuming fungus while this
effect is taking place also gives you a happy feeling. Lasts 1d4 day(s).
 95.Rock Candy - Makes rocks and other minerals taste deliciously sweet for 1d4 days. Normal effects from
eating stones still occur.
96.Balog’s Foil - A potions that gives the drinker advantage on checks when someone is trying to steal from
them.
97.Lotus Flower - Only an orphan can eat this. When eaten, a piece of Balog inhabits the orphan and can
answer 1 question.
98.Holocene - projects you as a hologram for 1 hour. You can travel anywhere that light exists.
99.A thick, yellow noodle with small marks down its form. When consumed, it causes the person to appear
30 ft in the direction they are looking.
100.A small disk of ice that never melts. If swallowed it will freeze your body but you will still be conscious
and alive. I’m sure it could

Library & History

‘’Jinny’s’’ own personal corner of The Museum. The wing is divided into two parts, a larger exhibit featuring
objects and items, and a library full of scrolls tablets and other reading material. Within one corner of this library
a cozy place has been build, which Jinny considers to be her private quarters and were she is meant to be left
alone. She is fine with you perusing the items and objects in the exhibits on your own terms, but the library is
under strict rules. For example one may not make a sound without receiving a stern look, one may not touch any
scrolls without proper gloves, one may not take a book out of the library, one may also not ask her questions
regarding herself.

1. The deceased remains of the first king of the land. Died soon after he founded the land, patient zero of a
potent plague - High Lord Rolnir's Remains.
2. A huge collection of signet rings, nearly two hundred in total, all from kings, queens, important figures of
the church, heroes, villains, and traitors alike. Each one is carefully labeled, some of them weirdly with
names of people that are not even born yet.
3. The claw of the first lycanthrope, preserved in a jar. It's said that a scratch from the preserved claw still
harbors a more virulent, primordial strain of the curse. Best it stay in the jar.
4. A series of love letters between a princess and a duke. These pieces of paper are responsible for the
death of over 20.000 souls, due to a war that followed upon their discovery. Both lovers died during the
war, the princess at the hands of the duke’s mistress personally.
5. A muzzle, fitted to house four long appendages where a mouth would be on a normal person. There are
legends of an ancient race that held the Mind Flayers under their heel, but nowhere else on Earth exists
any evidence of such a people, save this.
6. A small booklet written by the most powerful archmage in the known history of his realm. The booklet
contains study notes as well as some badly written poems about his lovely familiar.
7. A set of scrolls that will allow conversation between them, insofar that a message written on one will
appear on the other, no matter the distance. However, the words always become twisted away from their
original meaning, with the intention of doing as much harm to the receiver's life or situation as it can.
8. An inkwell and writing utensils with which a binding contract was sealed between a powerful demon and
the Goddess of Love.
9. A pair of sunglasses that reverses everything the wearer sees. Friends become rivals, enemies charging
become friends running with open arms. Part of a ploy used to ruin a ceasefire, causing 80 more years
of war.
10.A collection of random objects nearly 50 pieces big, including a chicken bone, a rusted piece of iron, a
small ball of lead, and a silver ring. All these objects are labeled with where they came from and which
important person they cost their lives.
11. A book on sewing, knitting, and weaving problems and their solutions. Anyone who reads this book will
encounter these issues when they next attempt to sew, knit, or weave. Some of these problems should
 not be possible in a 3 dimensional plane.
12.A book written by a charlatan and a witch doctor, completely full with pictures of specific plants and how
to prepare them into a medicine or otherwise. The fun part is none of the plants within actually exist and
all the drawings are made up.
13.A large helmet worn by the Champion of the Wild. The two sets of antlers spread out behind the back.
Worn during the Siege of the Wild Forest in which over 10.000 animals killed over 32.000 men.
14.A walking stick supposedly from some famous Field Marshal that won some battle or another against
incredible odds.
15.A set of faerie fire lanterns that only show the dead and obscure the living as if they were invisible. Once
per month the effect can be made permanent in a location if the lantern is left behind and blessed by a
cleric of at least 3rd level. Used during the assassination of a Prince and his wife during which his
assailants hid amidst the lantern light.
16.A judge's wig. Was part of a court case in which a prince was sentenced to death by drowning. Very odd
case that steered the empire on a very destructive path, leading to an eventual collapse.
17.A stuffed lion's head that will devour any lich's phylactery permanently. The lion's name is Bernard.
18.Over three hundred holy texts occupy a portion of the library. Most of gods no longer in existence, others
are nearly identical the differences in them clarified due to their origin from different realms.
19.A fake beard that changes your gender. Worn by Elsa The Unwed, when she donned it and used it to
(illegally) become Chief of the Isles.
20.A lost letter that will attempt to fold itself into a tiny bird, but fails to do so. It is completely crumpled by
now but it still attempts to origami itself every hour or so.
21.A book that contains all the alternate universes where your life is worse than it is now, to show you how
great you've done so far.
22.A piece of pavement with a partial rune on both sides. When placed on another stone surface it either
turns hastens or slows a walking creature in a small area (by 5 ft., 20 ft radius) depending on the side
that touches the stone surface.
23.A history book written about a long collapsed empire. When touched the user experiences the last 12
days of Emperor Callifax Corentius IIIV, leading up to his assassination.
24.A letter addressed to The Museum before it even existed, it details where it should be kept and is
believed to hold some sort of hidden message which has never been decrypted (not by lack of trying).
25.A map of the solar system in 3 dimensions. Any alterations to the map move the cosmos.
26.A huge book detailing mating habits for nearly all humanoid races, including hand drawn pictures. Some
moves you will have likely never seen or heard of. A signature in the back comes with a text stating it
once belonged to an old brass dragon.
27.A hand-written diary by a young girl professing her hatred of Balog, the Spoon Thief.
28.A small bottle, it is said to contain the last breath of the famous philosopher Potamos, and a sliver of his
soul.
29.A silver eye-mask not unlike the one famously donned by Balog, the Spoon Thief. Allows the wearer total
knowledge of every spoon on the plane they are currently in.
30.A rusted and dead metal humanoid creature, a prototype of the first Warforged.
31.A Deck of One Thing. This magically imbued deck contains 31 of 40 cards. When a card is drawn, the
drawer of the card has their pockets filled with pewter spoons.
32.Four mounted dragon heads, each of them with a name and list of the tyrannies committed by them
during their reign.
33.An enormous stone slab, with eldritch runes carved into the surface. If touched, it has a thirty percent
chance of imbuing the toucher with the knowledge of an ancient kingdom, and a seventy percent chance
of making them utterly mad. It will crumble to dust upon being touched.
34.A whole cupboard full of documents. Each of them appears to be a contract, signed by Asmodeus or one
of his. Most of them regard former heroes or desperate-turned-villains as the second party.
35.The keystone to the original Gates of Hell. Will attract the greedy pursuit of devils.
36.A glass orb containing the shifting images of a city of many wonders. Originally a real place created
before the universe, it was trapped in this form by the Godmother of All Witchcraft for reasons unknown.
37.The Amphora of Darkness’ Rise. A large vase, upon the surface of which is the frantically-painted
depiction of a battle between the prevailing Duergar king against his conquered Dwarven cousin, created
in the midst of the battle itself. The vase holds the blood of that very Dwarven Lord who was betrayed by
his kin.
38.The gloves worn by the assassin who strangled the wyrmling prince of dragonkind in the waning days of
the Ancient Dragon Empire. Heavy-duty, to say the least.
39.The complete research notes on the creation of the owlbear. Fully documented complete with drawings
of prototypes and their faults.
40.A small collection of humanoid fingerbones, collected by a creature/humanoid only known as ‘’The
Kingkiller’’. Indeed, all bones are pinkies of monarchs.
41.A thick silverlined book in which one is said to be able to read one’s own future. However, once you read
it your body is taken over by a dark-hearted creature that will give your live the worst possible outcome
while you can only read about it from the sidelines, trapped between the pages of the book.
42.A pinned blue butterfly. The Butterfly That Ended All Things. It destroyed a realm once, as a flapping of
its wings was the linchpin in a massive catastrophic event.
43.A brain in a jar that seems to be humming and calculating something. It is said to (still) search for the
answer to life, the universe, and everything.
44.A stone with a reddish stain. Said to be the weapon of choice regarding the first account of manslaughter
in human history.
45.A set of books with nothing but drawings of knots, all knots known and possible.
46.A manual written by an illiterate sailor. While nearly unreadable its analysis of the winds and breezes at
sea is beyond uncanny. It is said the name of the wind is written throughout this book.
47.A thick piece of philosophical work dictating that those that possess intelligence are said to be doomed
to never be truly happy. Reading this book is enough to make that come true. The last chapter is an
optional read for those that believe it to be true, reading it will drop your intelligence to a bare minimum.
48.A written song that was sung before the gods and was said to be so haunting the gods decided they
would give the realm a second chance. A mortal that reads it to the end (really hard) would weep himself
to death.
49.A seemingly simple dagger. It is the weapon with the highest kill-count ever achieved, and it killed more
rulers, saints, and beggars than any other piece of sharp metal.
50.A mirror created by a god, said to portrait the future of a decision. Another god corrupted it as it brought
too much good into the world.
51.The written words by which a halfling beggar bound a god and forced him to his will. The gods hated him
for it and unitedly cursed any reproduction of those words. If you read it you die, whether mortal, god, or
worse.
52.A volume called ‘’Heresy’’ as big as a cow. It dictates the names of all sentient creatures ever killed for
their religion or spiritual beliefs.
53.A small book the writing of which took over an eon. A consortium of mages worked and researched on it
for generations, distilling the essence and reformation of arcane magic. The book describes how one
could design any spell they could wish for, in tutorial style. Too bad it is written in a language that was
nearly wiped out of existence of which only a half dozen written accounts remain.
54.A painting of two deities entangled in a boardgame of wits. The bet was their superiority, the stakes their
godhood. The game took two centuries and the painter painted them in the first 5 years of the game. In
 the background he wanted to paint the winner (as he knew he wouldn’t last as long as the game), but not
knowing who would win he figured he had a 50-50 shot. He was wrong.
55.A stone statue of a king on a throne. The statue is in fact the actual petrified remains of the king, cursed
to sit on his throne for all eternity.
56.The blade of the Godkiller. It is a rather unremarkable scrap of molten metal, and does not retain any
powers of its former wielder. The blade was passed to the Museum after he was vanquished and utterly
wiped out by the Goddess of Joy, the only account ever of her showing any other emotion as the one
she stands for.
57.A scroll containing the most offensive joke in the known world. If you possess a soul, it can no longer feel
happiness after, as you lose part of it. It is said to make angels weep.
58.The cage in which the avatar of the God of Freedom once was imprisoned for a while, plaited from
endless possible choices and escape routes.
59.A dirty red ribbon, one that started a war and ended it within seconds, the shortest war in history with
only a single victim.
60.The wilting white columbine of the Dark Elf Queen’s sour heart. Kept in a glass pot and left in the
darkness. Every dawn it’s stolen by High Elven spies looking to deliver it to their court and have it
“cured,” and every dusk it’s stolen back by Dark Elven spies seeking to return it to their queen. It winds
up in a lot of weird places in the time in between those two daily occurrences, including passing through
the Museum.
61.The original handwritten notes of the team who led the first expedition of mortals into the Valley of
Daughters Never Borne. Contains many errors, references to terrors not reported there in centuries, and
the marked location of at least one secret treasure otherwise erased from history by the Weeping
Mother.
62.A section of stone from a cursed ancient building. If planted in the ground, the historic city will sprout
over the course of a year; including the people and animals that lived within.
63.The historic cat paw from the black cat assassin who killed seventeen people. If sewn onto a cat, the
spirit of the assassin cat with inhabit the body and begin a new killing spree.
64.The dust of the first army. They were cremated by a dragon and stuffed into a tiny, pocket sized urn. If
uncorked the dust will explode out and anyone that the dust touches will be possessed by the spirits of
this army. The army wants to reform and continue its march.
65.A big fat book of old jokes and riddles. Written by a sphinx.
66.The only scroll of goblinkind, their one venture into the written word. For angering their god with this sin,
their language was then cursed to be absurdly difficult to learn and impossible to write down. This “old
goblinish” text (in reality the only goblinish text, from before the curse of course) is just a simple
homemade recipe for dog soup.
67.The Secret History of King Burkhardt, the seventh son of the seventh son of the first king of men. Details
all the scandalous and even blasphemous deeds he was guilty of during his reign.
68.A farmer’s almanac for the last year before Armageddon. Sent back in time with annotations by someone
who can't make up their mind if they are for or against the apocalypse.
69.A cursed play written by a mad troubadour about the vengeance of man against heaven. When recited, it
binds your soul to hell but builds the goodwill of men everywhere.
70.The coronation orb of the Cloud Giant Caesar. Approximately the size of a small cottage and contains its
own self-sufficient ecosystem of tiny folk.
71.A worn, hand-written book describing the end of days. The text changes in unpredictable patterns, often
changing catalyst or what the world-ending event occurred.
72.A thick book that containing every love story as a haiku. No two identical poems have been found yet.
73.An Atlas of the Afterlife, with coordinates, demographics, and travel routes. Looks different for anyone
holding it, displaying only their unique path through that Undiscovered Country.
74.A 200 page book with a detailed explanation of how to turn lead into gold. The last four pages are
missing.
75.A map of a great mountain on the day it was created.
76.A book translating the opening and closing of a fishes mouth into the common tongue. It is only 3 pages
long.
77.A dictionary of stars. An up-to-date collection of sigils corresponding to every identified star. Consult it for
definition and spelling, and at your convenience you can extinguish one out of the sky with a ritual that’ll
fuel one casting of Wish but also feed the darkness of the God of Entropy and Armageddon.
78.A portrait of Balog the Spoon Thief on his mass of stolen goods. All of the spoons in the portrait have
been ripped out.
79.The Last Folio of the Serf Artist. Details the closing chapter of an epic saga written in secret by a
legendary serf who attained literacy only by inventing his own private language. Thus far remains
untranslated.
80.A portrait of a dragon wearing a purple cape and golden silk clothing. Rings of varying sizes rest upon
each of his scaled fingers. He is smiling, but his gaze makes most who look at him uneasy.
81.Treatise on Dining Etiquette - an Orcish political pamphlet advocating the revolutionary standard of
strictly exercising cannibalism only within first-degree bloodlines, a propaganda piece that led to the
competitive devouring of the noble families of the seven tribes and opened a power vacuum unfilled to
this day.
82.A cookbook that only contains recipes for preparing, seasoning, and serving gods. Don’t hold back on
the wine, servant.
83.A 364-page historical murder mystery novel that is a complete palindrome.
84.A large, leatherbound book that has a complete day by day history of the plague. It is only half full…
85.The cutlass of Drugar, the undead, time-sailing pirate. A strike of his sword yields no wounds. If at any
time a person struck by his sword travels to the past, every area hit will become an open wound.
86.A deck of playing cards, each one featuring a demon infamous demon and a small amount of trivia about
them.
87.The Code of Kuritogone, the first set of laws drafted by civilized man in the history of the previous
universe.
88.A piece of sheet music labeled “As I Saw Life Begin…” It was written for an unknown instrument, but it
can be played on any.
89.The Dungeon Master’s campaign journal.
90.A statue of a ruler. It’s head is no longer attached. When someone looks at it, they believe it looks like
the last person who ruled their homeland. If they have no homeland, they say it looks like an unfinished
statue, not quite human.
91.A book containing every insult a person wrote in hatred. Each insult has a rating of 0-10, 0 meaning the
insult had no effect on the insulted person, 10 meaning it changed their life dramatically. Each insult is
written in the insulter's handwriting. The score is written by an unknown source.
92.A collection of diaries that each somehow autonomously logged the absent thoughts of everything that
would have passed through the mind of their “author” during the period when they had fallen under the
gaze of an Umber Hulk.
93.A second-edition copy of a popular children’s book about a young girl whisked into a mundane and dull
world inhabited only by humans, famously revealed at the end to be only a dream. This copy bears a
signature on the inside cover of a fabled necromancer.
94.Two rings, worn by a king and his queen. These signet rings bound their life-force so in case of injury
one could survive of the lifeblood of the other. In a freak accident involving a hunt both died three days
after wearing the rings. Another couple died the same way, the ring is believed to be cursed.
95.A broken shield which saved the life of the Hero of Caijon. Single-handedly she defended the city over a
 dozen times until her demise.
96.A large tome held shut by three enormous locks. The book’s spine hints at the contents: True Names. No
attempt at unlocking the volume has ever worked.
97.A peace treaty adopted by two rival ant colony queens, the first of its kind. “History” knows no scale, it
seems.
98.A book with all kinds of strange recipes. It is unique as it is neither clear what the recipes are for nor how
to obtain the ingredients such as ‘’the shadow of a mouse’’ or ‘’A piece of the sun’’.
99.A thick bundle full of poems and songs. Each of them have wooed a woman or man into sleeping
with/marrying the composer. This book is meant as a weapon for players. From wingmen for wingmen.
100.An empty book, with one hundred pages. It is known to hold secrets and texts, but it has not been
decrypted yet.

The Forbidden Wing

This is a vast collection of hidden and rare objects, mostly consisting of a large number of Bottle Cities. The wing
is hidden unless the curator wishes the entrance to be found.
This section of the museum is off-limits to most patrons unless they have considerable wealth and/or have
gotten permission from The Collector (the curator). The wing is unable to be found by any normal or magical
means unless The Collector allows the entrance to be seen.

The wing is sealed off from the rest of the museum by two 8’ solid steel doors, each etched with an “open eye
symbol” and arcane writing (indecipherable) scrolls around the edges of the doorframe. The entire wing is locked
down with very powerful anti-divination magicks.
Once inside the wing, the interior is decorated in a very luxurious and opulent style, with silk wallpaper, high-
quality carpets and crystal chandeliers.
The wing houses only many kinds of objects, precious to The Collector, but his most prized possessions are a
large collection of Bottle Cities.
The Collector has obtained a rare and wondrous power - the ability to shrink and bottle any known commodity in
the universe. Most often, however, the bottles contain actual cities. The cities are contained in large 20 gallon
glass jugs, tapered to a neck and stoppered with an arcane seal.
There are hundreds of bottles on a vast spread of beautifully carved shelve.s The bottles are kept in special
boxes, with lids, and enchanted to simulate a day/night cycle for the populations of the bottle cities. The cities
are unaware of one another. Some are unaware of The Collector. Each has a different paradigm, and each is
unique in its own way.

The Known Collection

• Kandor - The Collector spies on the population and drugs whomever gets close to discovering the
secret.
• Zeria - The Vigilant ensure no one ever travels away from the city.
• The Golden City - The city worships The Collector like a terrible, wonderful god.
• The Vault - The Protectors spread the idea that leaving the city is fatal due to the destroyed and deadly
environment, the result of a war.
• Lost Hope - They city is in complete ruins, constantly tortured by The Collector and the population lives
as animals, scavenging and hiding.
• Darkton - The Mentats alter memories and keep swapping everyone’s social roles without their knowing.
This is done for both amusement, and to keep the city’s secret safe.
 • Truman’s Show - All the people know they’re in a bottle city and their purpose is to convince you that
the city is normal.

• The Shelter - A bottle city with a black rag draped over it. The shakes of the shelf are remnants of their
apocalypse. The Curator shrinks down to visit them from the “outside world”. He’s convinced them that
everything outside the “Shelter” is a radioactive wasteland.
• The Gloom - The city has been denied a day/night cycle, and it is always dark.
• Ashes to Ashes - An early experiment in the bottling process. The city is nothing but rubble. Could
anything have survived?
• The Unsolved - Another experience in trial and error. The city is whole, but most inhabitants have
suffered “transcription errors” in the bottling process. For some, some, some, it is a physical copy error.
For others, it is like a mi*spla*ced decimal point in their psyche. The city is broken and folded.
• Asimovia - The bottle contained *residue* from past use. Microbes, slime, mold now threaten to
overwhelm the city. Single-celled organisms loom like eldritch horrors over the miniature landscape.
• A Small Bottle, After All - Feuding towns, kingdoms, or races stranded together until they learn to get
along.
• The Mind of God - This bottle was already inhabited, by the long-forgotten victim of a Magic Jar spell
gone awry. Left to go insane, the creature in the jar uses its latent psychic power to take vengeance on
the hapless city now trapped within. (Perhaps the Collector has more secrets than merely bottled cities).

The Rest of the Forbidden Wing Objects

1. A fairly mundane looking knick-knack like a spinning wheel or a pot or something boring of slight
historical significance. It's actually a lich's phylactery.
2. A tiny bottle, with a tiny stopper, and in it a tiny mosquito. A tiny label labels it as an avatar of the god of
diseases and plagues.
3. A fist-sized gem of a deep red color. Inside a shadow flicks and twitches like a tadpole in an egg. Rumor
has it that this is the seed of a god.
4. An encased drawing of a black hole, everyone looking deep into it will know it to be real and all-
absorbing.
5. A small stone that ticks. Everyone who hears the stone becomes convinced that the stone must remain
locked away or something very bad will happen.
6. A coil of what appears to be rope. It slithers and worms inside the glass container. It is said to contain the
souls of all the creatures that have been hanged with it. It is made of the hair of its victims and will
strangle anything it gets the chance to.
7. A floor tile with a footprint on it that reads: "Step here to summon Balog." The tile is slightly charred.
8. A tiny clay jar with a tiny crack in the side. Said to contain Hunger, as in the whole concept of it.
9. A standing mirror, sealed in a chest with 6 Silver chain-locks. The mirror actually reflects the Far Realm.
Things are apt to fall in and out.
10.Six out of twelve Pandora’s Boxes in existence.
11. A rather stylish looking silver ring that allows the wearer to go without needing to sleep. Gradually the
user will begin to see glances of being in the corner of their eye, or for a split second in mirrors. As time
goes on the being will become clearer and more prominent. Eventually he will get you. Or maybe he just
wants to be your friend, The Collector can’t quite recall…
12.An item that no one can quite recall what it is. Visitors who see it walk away with no memory of what the
thing was, but all agree that it belongs in the forbidden wing under tight lock and key.
The Bucket of Keys
A bucket of a collection of strange keys always sits near the entrance doors, and if visitors want to fish around
and take one (or more), they are welcome to do so, as the bucket will always replenish itself (eventually).
D100 Table
1. A wooden key that, when turned backwards in a lock, will allow the door to open into the past.
2. A crystal key with no teeth that will only open doors made of snow.
3. A tooth of a rare creature that will open flesh-doors into the recently deceased.
4. A brass key that will open doors that lead into a parallel dimension where the keyholder is the most
hated person on the planet.
5. A heart-shaped key that will open doors that lead into a parallel dimension where the keyholder is the
most loved person on the planet.
6. A small bronze key that is warm to the touch. Will open a door that leads to the heart of the sun.
7. A large iron key that opens doors that lead to the most secure cell in the most secure prison throughout
the planes.
8. A small key of an indescribable metal, the color seems to change at its whim. It opens a door that leads
you to the person who most needs the keyholder.
9. A small steel key that opens a door that leads you to the kitchen of the best restaurant in all the planes.
10.A small rusted key that opens a door that leads you to a shipwreck.
11. A small iron key with small streaks of blood. Opens a door that leads to a temple where a blood sacrifice
is taking place.
12.A small silver key that seems to twitch and move. Opens a door that leads you to a place of the key’s
choosing.
13.A small key of iron that is freezing to the touch. Opens a door that leads you to a dead world.
14.A key of gold that seems to contain every color. Opens a door that leads you to the end of the rainbow.
15.An ornate silver key decorated with wings. Opens a door that leads you to the Plane of Air.
16.A key that is indescribable. Opens a door that leads you to the Void.
17.A key that changes its appearance depending on who looks at it. Turns a door into a Mimic.
18.A key made of pure light. Opens a door that leads you to a plane of Light.
19.A key made of a rib bone. Opens a door that leads you to the belly of a gargantuan creature.
20.A key that resembles every key and no key at the same time. Opens a door that leads to a palace
constructed of memories of the key holder.
21.A small key made of bronze that seems to quiver, almost as if afraid. Opens a door that leads to the
Plane of Fear.
22.A small key made of an iron that glows with an inner fire. Opens a door that leads to the Abyss.
23.A small key of gold that when moved makes the sound of dice rattling. Opens a door that leads to a
multiplanar casino.
24.A small key carved from a brick. Opens a door that leads to a wall.
25.A brass key with a clock on the base. When used to open a locked door, you can see a ghostly image of
the last person to move through the door.
26.A red, wooden key with identical teeth on both sides. It can lock any door it can fit in, but it cannot unlock
 any doors.
27.An aqua key that only opens doors that are submerged in water.
28.A shoddy-looking key made of coins pressed together and shaped. It opens to a heavily guarded
treasure room.
29.A glass key shaped like a corked potion bottle. A red liquid sloshes inside. It opens to a large, seemingly
abandoned castle in a pocket dimension. An alchemist appears to have once lived there.
30.A tiny, cold-iron key with wings carved into the body. It opens size diminutive locks.
31.A spongy key made of cake. If used to open a door, there will be a group of excited people on the other
side that yell “Surprise!” The key only works once every 365 days.
32.Two keys made of scales, one blue one orange. If they are placed on opposite sides of a door, the door
cannot be opened.
33.A key made of magma that burns the hand of whoever uses it. It opens a door to a secret base beneath
a volcano.
34.A key made of glowing rock that is warm to the touch. It opens a door to space. Creatures and objects
that pass through the door into space suffer from the normal effects of being in space.
35.A key made to look like a dragonfly. It opens a door to the fey world.
36.Three rusty keys. One key alone opens the door to a nursery. Two keys together opens a door to an
alley. All three keys together opens a door to a graveyard.
37.A dirt-covered key that opens any casket. One vein of sickly green light pulses through it whenever
someone uses it to open a casket.
38.A key that’s backside is sharp enough to cut flesh. The key opens a door to a closet holding four different
women’s dresses. They are always sized for the person who opened the door. The dresses do not resize
or reappear if taken.
39.A key that opens to a ship’s galley. The ship itself is abandoned, without sails and adrift at sea.
40.A large, heavy key that opens to an armory. The weapons are always sized for someone one size
category larger than the person who opened the door.
41.A set of two hundred and fifty metal keys that fit together like a puzzle to make a full set of armor. The
key armor can open a door to a world completely inhabited by warforged and constructs.
42.Six animated keys that are bound together like magnets. Getting them to hate each other will make them
repel from each other and open a door to a plane of animated objects.
43.Key that is a lightsaber. That’s how it opens doors. It just cuts them.
44.Key to my heart - can be used to open someone to love.
45.Key to all the unlocked doors - can be used to lock any door that normally couldn’t lock.
46.Two keys, one shaped like a woman and the other shaped like a man. They only work if used
simultaneously. When both people walk through their respective doors, they switch bodies.
47.A white and red stripped key that gets sticky when it’s hot. It opens a door to a world made of candy.
48.A key made of mirror glass. It opens a door to a world identical to the place they just were but everything
is reversed, except things in mirrors.
49.A key that opens a door to a desolate coliseum void of people in the stands. A lone gladiator awaits his
challenger. He greets them with a bow before he attacks. Whether he is defeated or not, he will be there
the next time the door opens.
50.A key that is a very oddly shape book with a few dozen pages. The words are in an unknown language.
It opens a door to a world where each spells reside, and each spell has a personality.
51.A small key with teeth that only extend when it is almost completely quiet. It opens a door to a massive
library.
52.A key that brings a feeling of longing and sadness to those who touch it. It opens a door to reveal a
random mundane animal that appears lost.
53.A key with a massive wooden block attached to it (cannot be removed). It opens to the door to a private
bathroom.
54.A key that can fold up into a perfect cube. When in key shape, it opens a door to a maze. Signs written
as poems warn those inside the maze of a minotaur.
55.A key that opens a door to the user’s childhood home. They see their younger self staring back at them.
The key breaks after one minute, and the user returns to where they were.
56.A solid black key with small specks of color that shine in the light. The key opens the door to the dream
world. The only way to leave is to wake up, at which point they awaken on the ground right where the
door was. Their bodies do not leave the plane they were in before walking through the door.
57.A brown key with small teeth that always hovers above the user’s hand. It opens a door to a cabin with a
beholder baking cookies.
58.A key with six sides and a number on each one labeled 1-6. It opens a door to a cloaked figure, only
their smile is visible. They say “Well now, seems you’ve got a taste for the gamble. Let’s see how you
fair.” Roll 2d6. Each number represents one of the six main stats. The first die is one state, the second
die is another stat. Switch the two stats. After the stats have been switched, the world will turn on its
side, forcing the person who opened the door to fall out of the door. The door will shut behind them,
remaining locked for 24 hours.
59.A gleaming iron key the blade part of which is ethereal. Walking through a door open by this key will
make you ethereal and you will appear as a ghost on the other side of the threshold, if the door closes
the process can only be reversed by magic.
60.A rusty key the size of a pinky. If you tell it ‘’size doesn’t matter’’ it will become a key perfectly sized for
the lock nearby.
61.A key with red hot glowing teeth. If it is used on a lock and it turns out it was not made for it the lock is
ruined and will not open any longer.
62.A key that changes colours based on the emotions of the wielder. For this key to work it needs to be the
same colour as the door/portal wished to be opened.
63.A wooden key with a leaf attached. Will only open wooden doors and if used in the correct door will
immediately start merging with the door and sprouting branches and leaves all over its surface.
64.A leaf carved in the form of a key. It is very fragile.
65.A golden key, which will open a portal to The Golden City (see forbidden wing, bottled cities).
66.A key made of salt water. The portal opened will be a portal to the elemental plane of water, spewing
water like a firehose.
67.A key made of candle wax. The lint has to be lid after which the door will unlock if it is the right door (you
may roll twice and take the preferred result).
68.A broken key, this is the blade part made of platinum. The other part must be somewhere here. Together
they might open the gates to Heaven, half it might summon an angel to take this part away from you.
69.A key made of charred bone. If picked up it fuses with the bones in your finger until it is used.
70.A circular key, the blade part of which is surrounded by the bow. In this form it cannot be used, it has to
be commanded to unfold in elvish.
71.A cast iron key the size of a forearm. Only opens colossal doors, but can be used as a battering ram
against smaller ones.
72.A key with two blades, one on each end. Can be used to open two doors, but the doors have to be
identical in order for it to work.
73.A key made of calcified ooze, does not work on doors but can create a portal in any ooze. The ooze will
calcify into a hardened block with a large hole in it. It will exit in through the nearest manhole cover.
74.A silver key, scratched by huge claws. A door opened with it will lead to Vargstad, city of werewolves.
75.A slimy stone key. Will open up a portal into the gargantuan purple worm knows as G’vrak.
76.A key that is a flower. Can only be used when sunlight shines on it and the flower unfolds and the thorns
align to form the blade.
77.A candy key. You will have to lick it before use. It will open any non-traditional house door into a magical
sparkling portal. Into the bowels of a hag lair of course.
78.A dancing key, it moves around, jumps, and swirls. All to avoid being used.
79.A sentient key that will tell you the taste of any lock you put it in, sometimes it might reveal details of the
regular users of the lock.
80.A porcelain key. Any portal opened with this will have a huge dire bull come charging through from the
other side.
81.A semi sentient key that demands to be asked in 3 unique languages if it will open a door for you. You
can not use the same language twice (player knowledge or real world languages work).
82.Small ripped piece of canvas with a painting of a key on it. Doesn’t open doors but does open paintings.
The portals always end up in the place (and time!) depicted on the painting if applicable.
83.A dagger with weird teeth carved in the tip. An inscription reads ‘’Opens up veins and doors’’.
84.You grab something, but it is not visible. You have an invisible key, must be special.
85.Driftwood piece of wood that bears a remarkable resemblance to a key.
86.Oxidized copper key that, if used in the correct lock, will release a burst of rust in a 10ft. Cube. All metal
within gains the fragile condition.
87.A whirling clump of what seems to be human hair, when picked up it changes shape into a braided key.
88.Piece of amber, however instead of an insect there is a small stone key inside.
89.Leather grip around a bone keyblade. Upon finding the correct door it will kill the closest animal with
10d10 necrotic damage.
90.Key made of clear glass. A small crack in the bow is the only blemish. It lights up when gnomes are
nearby.
91.Amethyst key. Upon finding the correct door the amethyst will backlash and turn the fingers of the
wielder into amethysts (natural claws, but breakable).
92.Butterfly on a leash, its wings are in the shape of keys. The hardest part is getting it to behave.
93.Petrified Roc feather. The feather is cut up in several places giving it teeth.
94.Crow head. Its beak carved up to form the blade of a key.
95.Sporkey. Part fork, part spoon, part key.
96.A huge nut of some sort, the shell is carved in a key. A bit awkward to handle but if used correctly the
seed sprouts into a world tree.
97.A hollow egg. Carved intricately in the shell are the shapes of three keys. Carefully breaking the egg
results in three equally fragile identical keys.
98.Bronze mold of a key. Unknown what material should be used or what the key is for.
99.Three stone marbles on a cord. Each has a rune engraved in it, together it spells ‘’Open this door’’.
However, what kind of door is required or how it works is unknown.
100.A broken key, this is the bow part made of platinum. The other part must be somewhere here. Together
they might open the gates to Heaven, half it might summon an angel to take this part away from you.