"Here...give me your left hand.

"
If she says "Why" or "no," reply with... "Just give it to me, you punk...and I'll
show you
why..."
"Hmm... it looks like you'll have 7 and 1/2 children. None out of wedlock, of
course. Tsk
tsk" (You shake your head as you say this.)
"You love wall-to-wall carpeting. I've never met anyone with a carpet fetish.
Interesting..."
"Oh, it says here you're going to live till you die. That's... interesting as
well..."
Opener to the group
"Hey, did you guys see the lady that the bouncers had to throw out the door?

"Yeah, she was drunk on her butt, tried to climb over

the bar and attack the bartender!"

"I can only stay for a little bit. My friends are meeting me here."

"I can't stay long. I've gotta find the club owner."

"Oh I gotta go, I just saw one of my friends."

Some Examples of Openers

"Hey, what's my sign?"

"Are you married... or happy?"

"Hey, watch it, missy!!"

"You wanna take it outside?"

"Hey, can I get your opinion on something?"

"Can you help us settle an argument?"

"So what do you think of that woman's (or man's) outfit?

Would you ever wear that? Who does s/he think s/he is, huh?
Where's the fashion police when you desperately need them!

Actually, I have a confession to make.... I have that exact same outfit. I almost
wore it tonight. Imagine how embarrassing that would have been?"

"You look like you have tattoos/piercings."

"You look like you have tattoos/piercings." (She may respond with, "No, I don't."
or
"Why do you say that?" to which you can say...
"Oh you just seem like the type" (Her: Oh yeah? and which type is that?!! <-- said
in a
challenging or defensive way.)
"Hmm, I don't know if I should tell you. I mean I hardly know you" (Give a sly
smile at
this point.)
"Is this the best time of your life?" (Whether she responds with a "yes" or a "no,"
you can
respond with one thing and be funny either way...
"How can I help change that?"
"It's too bad I'm celibate / saving myself for marriage or you'd be perfect for
me."

"Too bad I'm gay or I would be really interested in you."

"I'm not really gay.

I just wanted to see who you really are when you're not in the 'on guard'
position."

"I noticed that you're very shy so I thought I'd come and keep you company. Yes,
I'm a humanitarian. Please, no pictures!"

"So what makes you so special? Why's everyone hovering around you?"

Story/Situational Openers
"Hey, did you guys see that woman who got thrown out by the bouncers?"
"Hey, did you guys see that guy who came flying down the stairs?"
"Hey, you guys know about not drinking that blue stuff tonight, right?"
"Hey, did you guys see that dog that's running around in here?"

"Hey, did you guys see Paris Hilton / Britney Spears waiting in line outside?"
After their response, you can follow up with...
"Yeah, I thought it was her, but it was someone else."

"I like your eyes." ... "Is that your real eye color?"
"I like your hair" or "You have great hair." ... "Is it real?"

"I bet none of you guys have ever been drunk on your butt, huh?... No, you look too
nice for that."

"You, especially, look like a lightweight. You don't seem like you can handle more
than one glass, huh?"
Her: Why!!?
"Oh, I don't know, you seem too petite and proper" (said with a sly grin. Again,
you're
striking the stones to create some sparks.)
If she says, "That's right. I'm not a drunkard like you/them," you can reply
with...
"It's okay. I won't hold it against you. You're forgiven. That's just how I am."
Or...even better...
"Eh, you're too boring for me then. I'll talk to these guys instead."

"Hmm...you seemed like you'd be able to handle someone roasting you a little.
I can't be with you anymore. I'll have to break up. I'll email you a breakup
letter."

Her: So, where do you live? (Or... "Do you live in the area?)
You: Hey, slow down there. I can't tell you where I live. We've just met!
Her: What are you drinking?
You: Why, so you can buy me more and get me drunk (and take advantage of me?)

“Hey, what's with all the touching. Are you trying to seduce me?”

"Oh, speaking of being drunk on your butt...

I met this girl last October, when I in New Zealand...
...so, she kept taking shots one after the other and before you know it, she'll
literally on the floor...
...I stepped out for barely a minute to get some air, and next thing I know, her
and the rest of my friends are in jail and I'm paying $5,000 to bail them out.
... yeah, it's a good thing they're really good friends or they'd be sleeping it
off with Bubba! haha

So, what do you have going for you, besides your 'above average' looks and nice
hair?

"Ah, cool. (You're not just a pretty face.) You've got a good heart, I like that.
It's one of the qualities I appreciate in a woman."

"Oh really? You can play the piano? That's great. I'm beginning to like you."

When I first met you, I thought you'd be just another pretty face who is used to
getting everyone to kiss up to her just coz she's pretty. But now...

"You know, I've found that outer beauty is so

"common." You can find pretty women anywhere,
you know? But what really makes a person special
is how she is on the inside, what her personality is
like, what kind of interests and hobbies she has...
know what I mean?"

"Hmm... I'd better be careful of you. I don't wanna start liking you too much so
soon (because of just one thing.)"

"Boy, it's a good thing I have great self control."

"So, what else are you proud of, about yourself?"

"What would you say is one of your best qualities? And, why do you think that?"

"You'll have to say 'Please' if you want more."

A great way to disarm her

"Whoa...I need to stop. This is going too fast."

"You know, I rarely take it this far with someone I've met the same day/night...
I don't know why I feel like it's okay to do this with you though. I have to watch
out for you! :-)"
"This is moving too fast. I'd better slow down. Let's just enjoy the moment for a
bit."

If she says something like,

"I'm not going to sleep with you, you know" you can come
back with...
"Wow, that's pretty bold of you to assume that I would want to sleep with you,
isn't it?
Slow down there, young lady"

After SEX
"There's this great restaurant I've been meaning to try. Maybe we can check it out
sometime next week."