(OBSERVATION INTERPRETATION CLARIFICATION)
The "O.I.C." Method
A.
Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me; It is oil upon the head; Do not let my head refuse it Romans 15:14 And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another. Galatians 6:1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. JAMES 5:19-20 My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
THE PURPOSE: 1. To effectively confront people about issues you observe in their life that are a concern to you. Its ultimate goal is to be able to be God's instrument in their life, enabling them to grow spiritually in order to become more effective in winning our world. To be able to keep God in the equation
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B.
THE PRINCIPLE: Hebrews 3:12-13 Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
C.
THE PREPARATIONS: 1. Spend much time in prayer before and after the conversationask God for wisdom and for authentic humility Make sure your motives are pure Realize you could be wrong Have a conversation in a comfortable setting for you and them Conversation should relate to: - Real situations, not hearsay - Issues in Scripture, not personal opinions.
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(OBSERVATION INTERPRETATION CLARIFICATION)
The "O.I.C." Method
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THE PROCESS: Step 1: Share your Observation Goal: To verbalize what you heard/saw (If you didnt personally hear or see the issue at hand, you have nothing to share!) Examples: Mike, I havent seen you in church for weeks Step 2: Offer your Interpretation Goal: To verbalize the various ways this issue might be perceived Examples: I guess I could interpret this several waysmaybe you have been sick recently maybe you dont have a ride to churchmaybe you dont want to come to churchmaybe you have been out of town on business (Start and end with a positive interpretation, if possible) Step 3: Ask for a Clarification Goal: To get their perspective on it Examples: Could you help clarify this for me, or Could you help me understand what really happened
E.
THE POSSIBILITIES: 1. REJECTION: Their Response: They can tell you it's none of your business and refuse to open up. Your Response: You should avoid being an adversary and/or a power struggle if at all possible. Try to "agree with your brother quickly". Offer help and communicate your concern
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(OBSERVATION INTERPRETATION CLARIFICATION)
The "O.I.C." Method
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and desire that you and they respond biblically.
DEFLECTION: Their Response: They can try to deflect the issue back on you by raising an issue or problem in your life. Your Response: Wonderful! You can now model for them the way to deal with loving confrontation by asking them to explain what they see in you that led them to this conclusion. Next you should ask them whet steps they would recommend to fix the problem and involve them in helping you. Then, once resolved, thank them before bringing your initial observation back into focus.
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RECEPTION: Their Response: They can admit their problem, but not open up to you in a way that would allow you to be a part of the solution. Your Response: You should tell them that you will be praying for them and that they should feel free to talk to you about it any time they want to. Let them know of your desire to help them respond biblically.
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CONFESSION: Their Response: They can admit their problem and open right up to you. Your Response: If so, you must be ready to ask them, "How can I help you with this?" You must be prepared to become involved personally in their life, if that is what they want.
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(OBSERVATION INTERPRETATION CLARIFICATION)
The "O.I.C." Method
Intimate personal involvement demands sacrifice.
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