Summer

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/32119600.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Relationship: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Characters: Mai (Avatar), Ty Lee (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar), June (Avatar), Katara
(Avatar), Toph Beifong, Aang (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Suki (Avatar)
Additional Tags: mailee, mai and ty lee are so cute I love them very much, mai gets time
and space to find herself, Coming Out, Kyoshi Island, first fic in my
series!, anyways Mailee my beloveds, Yearning, June and Mai are such
an iconic duo, maybe some crumbs for other ships, wingwoman suki,
past maizula but it's up for interpretation, past tyzula, recovering from
past relationships, Mutual Pining, azula recovery mentioned, zutara
crumbs, background Sukka - Freeform, ty lee my beloved, mailee is very
important to me, platonic Maiko, Badass Mai (Avatar), Mai (Avatar)-
Centric, kyoshi warrior ty lee, Sukka, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Four Seasons For Love
Stats: Published: 2021-06-22 Updated: 2021-11-03 Words: 7,707 Chapters: 5/?
 Summer
by tarotea_ji

Summary

Mai comes to terms with what she really wants out of her life and strives to find herself.
Somewhere along the way she finds love with Ty Lee.

Or

Mailee fic centered around Mai deciding that she doesn't want to be fire lady and wants
something different from her life featuring lots of yearning

Notes

Hi! Welcome to my Mailee fic! I love the pairing of Mai and Ty Lee so much I'm so excited
to finally share my writing for them! I've had the idea for a slow burnish longer than one shot
mailee fic for a while so I really hope you enjoy! I wanted an arc for Mai really finding
herself and what she wants which is separate of zuko or any love interest so that's what I'm
going to write. I'm writing a series for my four favorite ships in atla and each correspond to a
season hence the fic title being summer and the series title being four seasons for love!!

See the end of the work for more notes

 people are talking
Chapter Summary

Mai realizes she is not herself and decides it's time for the trajectory of her life to change

Chapter Notes

the chapter title is inspired by lyrics from a world alone by lorde! also if you like to
listen to songs while reading fics that could be a song for this chapter!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Summer in the fire nation is suffocating. The air hangs heavy from the looming summer
storms that have yet to arrive. Crickets chirp from where they hide in the parched grass and
the turtleducks rarely leave the shade.

It’s a growing tension ready to break at any moment. The nobles sweat through their
elaborate robes at meetings and the ladies of the court hardly ever leave the shade of their
secluded, wilting gardens. Zuko is burning up under the summer sun for the entire nation to
see and Mai lingers in the shadows, unseen, unheard. If anyone sees the marks of knives
etched into the cobbled palace walls they make no comments on it. If anyone thinks they saw
a shadowy figure glide through the halls they don’t think twice about it.

Unseen.

Unheard.

It’s a feeling which is all too familiar to Mai. Her childhood memories are filled with the
same suffocating silence which characterizes her life now. Her life at ten is repeating itself in
her life at twenty except with the variation that she has come of age during war and become
an afterthought in the post-war politics aside from the remarks about her becoming the next
Fire Lady. She spends her days training in the inner gardens and sitting through stiff teas
hosted by the wives of politicians. The women with their embroidered robes and their soft
voices think she is quiet. Mai is not quiet. They are just loud. Noisy with the way the clink of
teacups against the tables echo through the rooms. The wry looks shared between women as
they enquire about her relationship with the firelord are deafening. Mai is accustomed to
giving an enigmatic smile and revealing just enough to give a suitable answer.

There is a quiet woven into the summer air, a tightened string ready to snap. And the fire
nation elites walk calmly across the unspoken tension like it's a tightrope. There are knives
hidden in the seams of her red, silken robes but no one comes close enough to notice. She
doesn’t tell anyone about the doubts which are trapped in her mind, she has learned doubts
are never to be shared with others. She and Zuko are drifting away from each other and they
both know it. Their silences are filled with the expectations of a Fire Lord and his future
wife. Their conversations rarely extend beyond cordial small talk and complaints of the day.
Their silences are more tangible. They don’t have to meet each other’s eyes to know that they
are at war with themselves, a conflict raging behind golden eyes.

Mai sometimes hears the noblewomen remark of the lack of company and conversation they
receive from their husbands. If they see her they’ll look at her and say that they’re sure the
Firelord is different or say that this is simply how a marriage looks like. She and Zuko are far
from being married, they’ve never truly discussed it. What Mai knows is that when she and
Zuko are in fact together, they just are further apart from each other than they ever have been.
Further apart than when she was in prison and he was training the avatar. For them, distance
brought fondness and proximity brought ambivalence.

As always no one has said a word about it, at least not directly to Mai or Zuko. After all, they
haven’t spoken of it with each other either. When their friends visit them they are too
preoccupied with the chaos and comfort of a reunion. The never ending laughter, the late
nights spent talking about fond memories and hopes for a future none of them could have
ever imagined. Mai is glad Zuko’s friends didn’t hesitate to welcome her into their group.
The bubbly, friendly Aang never failed to make Mai smile. She didn’t tell Zuko but the avatar
and his earthbending sifu had become her particular favorites of his friends. Not that she
didn’t love them all. Mai remained grateful that Aang had been able to return her baby
brother to their family. She admired how Toph completely broke free of the sophistication
and etiquette she was raised in to become the world’s most powerful earthbender while also
being incredibly outspoken and stubborn and loud. Mai loves her for it, she admires how the
younger girl had freed herself from the constraints of a society she was being prepared for.

Sometimes Mai wonders what would have happened if she too had truly freed herself from
the bounds of noble womanhood. Her sarcasm and fierceness were overlooked by nearly so
they could see her as a demure picture of refinement and elegance. She gripped her robes a
little too tightly when people commented on how quiet and well mannered she was. Mai was
ready to wield her daggers at them so she would never have to be called well-mannered
again. And that was how Mai grew into a shadow of herself. She temporarily became herself
again when Suki, Sokka, Katara, Aang, Toph and Ty Lee came to visit so she never expected
them to notice how she disappeared into her mind during the lulls in conversation. How her
silent gazes which were once piercing and observant had turned distant and empty.

There was one person who had been looking into her eyes for years, who knew her well
enough to notice something was off.

Ty Lee had pulled her aside after dinner one night and took both of her hands and asked her
directly.

“What’s wrong, Mai?”

The genuine concern in her voice and the sincerity in her wide grey eyes shocks Mai into
honesty.
“I’m not happy here,” Mai says softly, the words barely escaping her.

“Have you talked to Zuko about it?”

Mai shakes her head.

“Mai, you have to tell him. I know Zuko wouldn’t want this for you.”

Ty Lee pauses and says more gently, “I don’t want this for you. I want you to be happy.”

A couple of stray tears run down Mai’s face.

“Thank you, Ty Lee” she says quietly.

“For what?”

“For noticing.”

Ty Lee just flings her arms around Mai and hugs her tightly.

And for the first time in months Mai is not invisible.

Something changes after her conversation with Ty Lee. Mai holds onto Zuko’s arm more
tightly than she remembers as they stand in the harbor watching their friends depart, waving
with their free hands as the ships fade into specks on the horizon. There are tears threatening
to escape her eyes. Zuko looks at her softly, a look of genuine concern which somehow
frustrates Mai.

“Are you ready to go home?”

It’s an innocuous question. No ill intent, spoken with nothing but sincerity but yet something
cracks inside Mai. She lets some stray tears trickle down her face on the palanquin ride back
to the palace when she thinks Zuko is not looking and retires early for the night.

Home. That one word had disarmed her, broken down her defenses. She thinks of the walls of
Ba Sing Se. Even the strongest barriers can be cracked. Her stoic demeanor has been eroded
into exhaustion from years of existing amongst the fire nation nobility, existing as the woman
who will be the next fire lady. Mai rises from where she’s sitting on the edge of her bed and
makes her way to a vanity, finding the headpiece for the fire lady which she knew someone
had no so subtly made sure had reached her. She knew it wasn’t Zuko. A marriage between
them seemed like a given, an eventuality. Not in the reassuring way when a love is so secure
that it cannot help to be realized, but the type of eventually that is a chore to achieve. A
threshold neither of them wants to cross no matter how many allusions to the union are made
to them on a daily basis.

She undoes her hair, letting it fall comfortably around her face. In one hand she prepares to
put her hair up and the other holds the headpiece to secure it in place. Before she puts the
piece into place Mai looks at her reflection. She doesn’t see herself. She sees faces of fire
ladies she has seen in portraits, their hair is all pinned with a crown that is in her hands and
 their blank stares are somehow piercing. She thinks she sees Ursa. Instead of looking
disappointed as Mai expected, Ursa looks pained. The crown drops from midair and crashes
onto the ground, the sharp yet hollow sound from the moment the gold met the tiled floor
echoes through Mai’s mind for weeks to come.

She runs to land on her bed, burying her face in the pillows in an attempt to see anything but
the women in the mirror. The attempt is futile. She thinks she hears the walls whisper to her.

You do not belong here.

This is not your home.

Mai smiles at the comforting threats of these voices in her mind as she falls asleep. It’s true.
She doesn’t belong but she doesn’t want to belong in the stifling life within the palace walls
she had accepted for herself. It’s not her home, nor will it ever.

Mai’s smile dissipates when the inevitable question crosses her mind: Then where is my
home?
It’s not amongst lush gardens and the ostentatious decorations of the fire nation royal palace.
Home isn’t in King Kuei’s palace or in her family’s home in Omashu. Her travels with Azula
and Ty Lee made it impossible for her to establish roots somewhere. Ironically the place that
came to mind was boiling rock. She had found a bit of home in a prison during long nights
where she would lay in a musty cell and smile because she had done something unexpected,
something of her own volition. Ty Lee was in the cell next to hers and their hushed
conversations between the bars might have been her fondest memories from that time of her
life. And now she’d become a prisoner to a way of life she’d vowed she would escape. She
needs to escape. This time there is no uncle to free her from prison. No friend who needs her
to track down a fugitive brother.

I am going to escape. And I’m going to do it myself.

She repeats those words in her mind over and over until she falls asleep.

Chapter End Notes

tysm for reading this chapter! I hope you liked it! I always appreciate feedback and
comments! Tysm again for reading <3
 How You Used To Smile
Chapter Summary

Mai visits Azula and learns some unexpected information that helps her come to an
important realization.

Chapter Notes

I was thinking each chapter could have a title inspired by the song I think matches with
the chapter/might recommend listening to while reading. This chapter's title is from
How Was Your Day? by beabadoobee!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Mai is tempted to escape, leaving only a letter behind just as Zuko had done to her years ago.
But despite her desire to return the favor, she knows she needs to talk to Zuko directly for her
own mental clarity. One last week. That is what Mai tells herself when a noblewoman raises
her eyebrow a little too highly when the firelord is mentioned in conversation or when the
topic of marriage is brought up too coyly during the languid walks she takes with them. The
summer days are still brimming with humidity and tension and Mai attends to her regular
obligations. The nights are different, lit by fireflies and fueled by her determination. She’ll go
through her belongings and set some aside for wherever her travels might take her. She
spends some nights with Zuko in his office as he mulls over trade negotiations and policy
reform. His concentration is so intense he doesn’t see Mai eyeing the map of the four nations
and the ship routes.

Before she tells her plans to Zuko, she has one more person to see: Azula.

Azula’s wing of the palace is possibly the most sparse one. In contrast to the gilded halls of
the places Mai frequents, there are no portraits, no fire nation insignias hanging from every
possible place. Some six years later, Azula is still recovering. She’s essentially isolated from
the rest of the fire nation and the palace. Only a few people visit her, Mai being one of them.

The nurses and servants bow respectfully to Mai as she enters Azula’s chambers. Clad in
simple red robes, hair free to sway as she moves, free from the makeup she once wore, Azula
looks better, maybe even happy. She can’t remember when she last thought of Azula like this
and Mai lets herself smile as she enters the doorway to see her friend standing at the edge of
her bed. The real, genuine smile that she reserves for rare occasions.

“Hi Azula.”
“Hello Mai, what brings you here?”

“Visiting you?”

Azula laughs, the sound reassures Mai.

“Here I brought you some fire lilies, I heard they were in bloom and I thought of you.”

“They were always my favorites,” Azula remarks wistfully.

“My mom wove some into my hair when I was little, but…” she trails off, choking up with
the unspoken words.

Mai tries to salvage the situation and blurts, “I can put some into your hair. Ty Lee says I’m
not terrible at braiding. No guarantees though.”

“How is Ty Lee? She hasn’t visited me in quite some time,” Azula tries to sound cheerful but
she sounds more strained than anything.

“She’s doing well. The Kyoshi warriors are keeping her busy, I’m sure she’ll visit when she’s
back in the fire nation.”

They laugh again, a little awkward, a little restrained. They’re not kids anymore but some
things stay the same. Azula sits down while Mai arranges the flowers on the silken
bedspread. As Mai stands behind Azula and begins parting her hair, she speaks of her
decision out loud for the first time.

“I’m leaving the Fire Nation.”

Azula nods then asks, “What about my brother?”

“I’m going to break up with him. It’s not working out. It’ll be better for both of us this way,”
Mai says in a tone that betrays that she is saying aloud the words she needs to hear.

“I guess I miscalculated with this one too,” Azula says, attempting a humorous reply.

“What do you mean?”

Mai’s genuine curiosity makes her loosen the braid she’s weaving.

“I’ll explain once I know the braid won’t come undone.”

Mai concedes and tightens the strands.

“Do you know that scar on Zuko’s chest?” Azula says hoarsely.

“I do,” Mai replies gently. “Do you really know, Mai?”

“He told me he got it during the Agni Kai.”

“Yes I suppose that’s true,” Azula sighs, “It’s not the full story. Would you like to hear it?”
In all her time spent with Zuko after the end of the war, they discussed the star-shaped scar on
his chest once before it joined the pile of topics they did not bring up with each other. The
braid is finished now, Mai ties it with a ribbon. It looks decent, the fire lilies she’s tucked into
Azula’s silky black hair will hopefully hide the imperfections in the braid.

“Yes,” Mai says seriously, “I would.”

Mai sits next to Azula on the bed.

“It was from lightning, my lightening,” Azula says, voice quivering.

As she continues her voice grows softer and heavier, “I didn’t aim at him, Mai.”

“Then how did he get the scar?”

“I aimed at her.”

Mai is stunned, yet she immediately knows who Azula is referring to.

“Katara?”

“The waterbender? Yes, her,” Azula says with a hint of remorse in her reply.

“I don’t understand why you would have…” Mai trails off mid sentence.

“I think you do.”

“Thank you for telling me, Azula,” Mai says with visibly less composure than she had a
moment ago.

“My idiot brother isn’t the most forthcoming,” Azula says affectionately, but her tone turns
serious. “You deserved to know.”

Mai hoists herself off the bed and Azula does the same.

Azula places her hand on Mai’s shoulder, “Goodbye, Mai.”

“Bye Azula, take care.”

Mai rushes back to her chamber, pondering her interactions with Azula. She’s relieved to see
that the princess is regaining some of her old self. She dwells on the truth behind Zuko’s scar.
She always assumed his aversion to talking about it came from the fact it was yet another
scar left by a member of his immediate family. Mai didn’t anticipate the fact that he had taken
the electricity in order to protect someone else. She should be angry, right? She’s only
irritated that she didn’t know the full truth sooner. So as she enters her chambers she finally
comes to a realization which makes her let out a sigh of relief.

Zuko and I aren’t in love.

 It’s a conclusion she’d been approaching for months now, but it falls into place. Her hollow,
aimless existence and their stagnant relationship continued for the sake of nostalgia and
familiarity more than the presence of true feelings. She feels neither upset, nor guilty, just
relieved. She thinks she should be angry. Mai had been willing to sacrifice herself for Zuko’s
freedom. Maybe she knew it would only be temporary. She’s ready to tell Zuko, and she
expects him to understand. After all, he was willing to give up his life for Katara in an
irrevocable act of love. The sadness she feels isn’t from knowing Zuko’s true affections do
not belong to her. Mai holds her head in her hands and cries just a little bit.

I’m never going to find that type of love.

I’m incapable of loving someone like that.

I don’t deserve to be loved.

Those are the thoughts that linger in her mind as she readies herself for a long overdue
conversation with Zuko.

Chapter End Notes

Two chapters in one day??? I'm not sure what's happening honestly. Anyways thank you
so much for reading as always! Seriously any comments, kudos and bookmarks mean
the world to me! Next up: Mai finally talks to Zuko. I hope it goes well. Did the song's
vibe fit the chapter? I'm not completely sure but I love the song so. Until next time <3!!
 I Watched it Begin Again
Chapter Summary

Mai gets honest with Zuko and sets off on a new chapter of her life.

Chapter Notes

I know I haven't updated in a while, school is kicking my ass but I will try to
write/update as much as possible! I'm really excited for this fic and series! Anyways!
comments and kudos are always appreciated! I hope you enjoy this chapter! The chapter
title is some lyrics from 'begin again' by Taylor Swift because let's be real I'm very often
inspired by her.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Mai takes a deep breath before knocking on the door of the room that has become Zuko’s
office. When she doesn’t hear a reply or the sound of footsteps approaching, she enters the
poorly lit room filled to the brim with stacks of papers and discarded quills. Zuko is nowhere
to be found in the disarray of his papers. Mai lets out a long sigh. This day has already
drained her energy but she knows that the most exhausting conversation has yet to come. She
decides to search for him elsewhere and makes her way to the firelord’s chambers which he
also frequents. When she’s almost reached Zuko’s room she passes him in the hall.

“Zuko,” she calls to get his attention.

He spins around and spots her. He makes her way towards her, a smile growing on his face.

“Mai! It’s good to see you,” he rasps.

“Can we talk?"

“Of course,” Zuko’s eyes widen, his expression shifting from excited to worried.

“Okay. Let’s go somewhere private.”

Zuko looks increasingly confused and worried but he lets Mai lead them into his chambers.
She takes a deep breath, not one to mince words so once the door is securely shut she begins
speaking.

“I think we need to talk about this,” Mai gestures between them, “Us.”
Zuko doesn’t seem deeply shocked, just slightly caught off guard. He nods to acknowledge
her words and waits for her to continue.

“I’m not happy here,” Mai confesses.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko says with audible resignation.

She doesn’t bother to tell him it’s not his fault. He’s partially responsible after all, and he
knows it. She can tell from how he averts her gaze and shuffles his feet.

“I deserve to be happy - we both deserve to be happy.” Mai continues when he doesn’t reply,
“I don’t think you’re happy with me, either, Zuko.”

“I - “ he trails off, anticipating where the conversation is going.

“We need to break up,” Mai says bluntly.

“I know,” Zuko replies softly.

“I think we’ll be able to be friends again. I just need some time to figure out what I want. I
know I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this.”

“Is there someone else? I know we’ve been… distant”

“No. But You’re one to talk,” Mai says a little more harshly than she expected to.

“What do you mean?” Zuko asks with genuine confusion.

“The scar on your chest. Azula told me.”

“Oh.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to see a scar and be reminded of the fact I was prepared to die.”

The unspoken end of his sentence “for someone else” lingers in the air.

“I don’t think that’s the full reason. I think you need to figure out your feelings for Katara.”

“What?” he exclaims.

“Anyways, if you knew we were drifting apart why didn’t you do something?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles honestly.

“Zuko, you stopped loving me a long time ago.”

“What?”

“I did too. And it’s okay, but it’s time for us to start again.”
Zuko nods.

“I’m leaving the Fire Nation tomorrow.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m not sure. Probably somewhere in the Earth Kingdom.”

Zuko nods, unsure of how to respond.

“This has been a lot. I’m going to go pack my things, you know where to find me if you want
to say goodbye.”

“Of course I will,” Zuko says softly while she turns around to exit the room.

A weight has been lifted off of her. As she walks back to her room for one last night in the
fire lady’s chambers, Mai turns home into memories as she walks through the halls. She’s
smiling but her eyes are misty. Despite her excitement for her upcoming journey, there is a
small part of Mai that wants to cling to the familiarity of overwhelming reds and gold and the
too large beds and ornate decorations in every imaginable corner. A few nagging doubts cling
to the flowing sleeves of her robes, rooting Mai at the entrance of her room.

Do I actually want to leave?

What if I regret this?

What happens next?

Mai takes tentative steps away from these thoughts until she’s opening a dusty box with
shaky hands. She had hidden this box in the bottom drawer of her dresses years ago. She
finds the same simple robes she’d been forced to abandon for more gilded and intricate ones
from when she returned to the fire nation as Zuko’s girlfriend. The simplicity of these clothes
she hadn’t adorned in years causes her to let out a sigh of relief. She reaches for the robes,
folding them into her arms, walking towards her bed to lay them down. Her packing has
begun.

I’m really doing this.

Mai smiles at the thought and continues to find bits of her true personal belongings she’d
stored away in unsuspecting little spaces in her enormous room. She reaches into ornate
vases and draws worn maps out of them. She scours the back of drawers to find an
assortment of belongings from her time traveling with Azula and Ty Lee and discovers the
Kyoshi warrior headpiece that had once been a part of her disguise. There’s a wrinkled
wanted poster of Zuko and Iroh, her black, fingerless gloves, and somehow a clump of
Appa’s fur. Too engrossed in packing up pieces of her past to bring into her future, Mai
doesn’t initially hear the knocking on her door.
“Mai?”

She’s startled by hearing someone call her name. To her surprise it’s Zuko at the door. His
hair is falling out of his topknot and his pockets are overflowing with papers but despite their
earlier conversation he doesn’t seem to in any unusual amount of distress

“Before you go, I have something I want to give you.”

“I don’t think this is the best time to give me more old jewelry,” Mai rolls her eyes, not
appreciating the interruption of her packing.

“No it’s not that,” Zuko says, rummaging through his pockets.

“Here,” he hands her a map of the earth kingdom with several locations marked.

“Thanks.”

It’s a nice gesture but I already have so many maps I doubt I’ll end up using this one.

“These are some of the places in the earth kingdom I ended up passing through when I was
banished. I think you’d like this one,” he says pointing to a spot with the word ‘June’ written
next to it.

“June?”

“She’s someone who helped me out a long time ago. I think she’d like you more than she
liked me,” he laughs.

“Also, I know one of my old crew members is taking a ship tomorrow to the earth kingdom
tomorrow - “

“I know.”

“How did you…?”

Mai shrugs, “I have my ways.”

Zuko laughs slightly, “I should have known.”

He takes a deep breath, “I guess this is goodbye?”

“I think it is, at least for now. I’ll see you around, Zuko.”

To his surprise she briefly hugs him.

“Thank you for everything, Mai. I wish you all the best.”

She bows in the formal fire nation style, and smiles. For the first time in years, Mai is excited
for her future, no longer dreading the inevitability of a life spent hiding herself in plain sight.

Mai mentally goes over the list of what she’s going to be taking on her travels.
 Knives, blades, a dagger, her fingerless gloves. Sets of simple traveling robes: some maroon
and some a deep green with plenty of pockets to hide her weapons and money. She reviews
the plan in her mind. She needs to be at the docks of Caldera City at sunrise. Zuko offered to
accompany her but she’d refused the offer. They’d compromised and Mai agreed to let two of
the palace guards accompany her on the walk to the harbor. She’ll board a ship led by one of
Zuko’s former crewmates which is headed northeast to the western tip of the earth kingdom.

The guards come to knock on her door to check if she’s up and ready. She is. Waiting at the
door holding her pack and smiling slightly, which for Mai betrays the extent of her
enthusiasm. The night pales into dawn as they walk to the harbor, the deep blues melting into
the shades of greys that precede daybreak. The sun begins to appear as she boards the ship.
The ship is by no means grand and her cabin is tiny but it doesn’t faze Mai.

Mai stands at the bow of the ship letting the salty sea spray wash over her and blow through
her hair. Unconsciously, she reaches for a blade as she lets her hair down, it reaches her waist
now. She grabs her hair and in one swift motion, the blade slips through her silky hair and the
strands fall into the sea. Running her fingers through her hair, Mai can feel that it’s now chin
length. Mai smiles as she stares out over the ocean, her future forming somewhere within the
churning seafoam.

For the first time in years, Mai feels like herself.

Chapter End Notes

thank you for reading! Let me know what you think of this chapter! I wanted Mai to
have a badass Mulan inspired hair cutting moment so that was very self indulgent. I
know I promised Mailee and don't worry the next chapter is Ty Lee POV so we'll get to
see the other side as well!
 You Weren't Mine To Lose
Chapter Summary

Ty Lee confides in Suki about her fears about past and future relationships. When she
dreams of Mai, Ty Lee is realizes she can no longer ignore her feelings.

Chapter Notes

HI! yes two chapters in one day because idk why I'm like this! Anyways this one is a Ty
Lee POV chapter so I hope that's fun! I want to include aspects of South Asian culture
into Fire Nation culture which is a reason I decided that people in the Fire Nation could
wear saris. Also because I think Ty Lee would rock one. Anyways sapphic yearning is
unmatched so I hope you enjoy <3 Chapter title is lyrics from August by Taylor Swift. I
mean this fic is titled summer I can't not reference this song somewhere along the way!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Ty Lee hasn’t been herself since they returned to Kyoshi Island. She’s attentive and bubbly as
usual but Suki senses that she’s putting more effort into the everyday interactions with the
rest of the girls that she normally thrives off of. She retires to her room early instead of sitting
under the greenery and talking with the rest of the warriors in the languid summer nights.

Suki picks up whispers of “Where is Ty Lee?” and “Is she okay?” and smiles slightly to
know that the girls care about Ty Lee as much as she cares for them.

She turns to the girls, “I’m going to go check on her. If I need reinforcements I’ll come back
for you all.”

Suki gets up from where she’s sitting and quickly walks up the hill to the hall where most of
the warriors reside. She cautiously knocks on Ty Lee’s door.“It’s me, Suki. Can I come in?”

She doesn’t get an answer in words but Ty Lee silently opens the door to let her in.

“What’s going on? Since we got back from visiting the Fire Nation you’ve been off.”

“I know,” Ty Lee’s voice is expressionless, tired.

“Is there anything we can do for you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“If it’s okay, can I stay here with you? If you want to talk I’ll be right here,” Suki says
soothingly.

They sit on the woven bamboo floor in silence for several minutes. Ty Lee’s chin rests on her
knees and she hugs her legs to her chest. Suki leans against the wall, extending her legs while
a concerned expression settles on her face.

“I’m afraid,” Ty Lee whispers into her hands.

It’s barely audible but Suki still hears and comfortingly places a hand on Ty Lee’s shoulder.

“I’m afraid that I’m going to be the reason that someone falls apart, like…”

“I’m sorry,” Suki says gently.

“Just remember, that it wasn’t your fault. From what I can tell Azula’s problems were in her
upbringing, you were always a bright spot for her.”

“And I betrayed her.”

“Maybe you did, but you also saved us. If it wasn’t for you and Mai we would have never
gotten out of the prison and who knows what would have happened then…”

“I know it was the right thing to do. Am I silly for feeling guilty all these years later?”

“You’re not. Sokka told me how hard it is to lose someone you love. Whether you’d known
someone for years or weeks you’re still allowed to hurt when they’re not a part of your life
anymore.”

“What if I can’t love someone again?”

Ty Lee’s voice is strained and a stray tears trails down her face

“You will, I promise.”

“How can you be so sure, Suki?”

Ty Lee lets out a sob and Suki embraces her.

“Because you’re Ty Lee. You’re resilient and brave. You’re a fighter but you’re also one of
the kindest people I’ve met.”

Ty Lee nods silently, trying to truly believe Suki’s words.

“Despite everything you’ve been through you still care so much about the people around you
and if there’s anyone capable of loving someone again, it’s you.”

“What if I do love someone else,” Ty Lee murmurs pensively.

“That’s great, right?”

Ty Lee shakes her head.

“No. It’s bad. I feel like I’m betraying Azula all over again by having feelings for someone
new, what if she finds out? Will she get worse again?”

“I think she’s made substantial progress. Zuko told me she seems a lot better these days. And
if she does just know that no one’s recovery is a linear process. She’ll bounce back.”
“You’re right, you’re right. It’s just that - “

Ty Lee takes a deep breath.

“What if it’s someone she knows? Someone we both know?”

“Who?”

Suki is genuinely caught off guard.

“If I tell you who that means it’s real and if it’s real...” Ty Lee trails off.

She continues after taking another long breath, “If it’s real that means I’m going to get hurt in
a hundred new ways.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“That’s why I’ve been down since we’ve gotten home from the Fire Nation.”

“Oh, Ty Lee, I’m so sorry,” Suki says while wrapping her arms around Ty Lee in an embrace.

“It’s okay. Thanks for checking in on me.”

“Anytime. We’re all here for you”

Ty Lee returns Suki’s embrace and cries into her shoulder and Suki stays to soothe her until
they both fall asleep against the screen walls of the room.

“Stop chasing Ty Lee with the comb, you're all going to break something.”

Katara laughs with a mix of affection and annoyance as Mai and Toph run around the room
after Ty Lee who nimbly stays out of their way. Suki feigns annoyance but she’s smiling too.

“Katara’s right,” Ty Lee concedes, bent over laughing and catching her breath.

“You all are so boring. I’m going to find Aang so we can play a prank on Zuko.”

“Toph no - we’re supposed to have some girl time before we get ready for the dance.”
Toph laughs impishly and darts out of the room.

“I should get ready too,” Mai sighs.

Before leaving the room Ty Lee hugs her.

“Ty Lee, you’re not even going to be apart for an hour,” Katara says teasingly.

“I think it’s sweet, Katara,” Suki replies.

Before they can continue, Ty Lee pulls everyone in shouting “Group Hug!”

They all laugh.

“I bet Toph is devastated she missed a group hug,” Mai deapans, causing everyone to keep
laughing.

“I’m sure she is,” Katara says, continuing the sarcasm.

“Okay I have to go now, they’re asking me to get ready in the fire lady’s chambers.”

“Is this another dating the firelord thing?” Ty Lee says, failing to hide to hear the irritation
in her voice.

“Yeah it is,” Mai says blankly.

“See you all at the dance?”

Katara and Suki say their goodbyes but Ty Lee stays silent.

They both immediately rush to Ty Lee’s side and ask her what’s wrong.

“It’s nothing, help me get ready?”

Suki and Katara glance at each other, clearly unconvinced.

“Okay so I thought I could put some braids in your hair before putting them up. It’s not
exactly fire nation or water tribe hairstyle but I think it’ll look good on you,” Katara says in
an attempt to brighten the mood.

“Also I have some flowers, we could weave them into your hair. It’s something I’ve seen done
in earth kingdom,” Suki says excitedly.

“I don’t think you’d like the air nomad hair styles so I think we’ll keep your hairdos to the
other nations,” Katara teases.

“Ty Lee would look pretty bald, what are you saying?”

“It’s true. I’d look great.”

Katara just shakes her head in amusement before concentrating on weaving the strands of Ty
Lee’s hair into two braids. Once the braids are completed and pulled up into an updo vaguely
reminiscent of the fire nation nation style top knot.

“My turn!”

Suki exclaims, grabbing a fragrant bowl of flowers for Ty Lee’s hair.

“Ooooh, are those jasmine flowers?”

“Yes. Sokka and Aang got bored and ended up picking flowers in one of the gardens this
afternoon,” Suki laughs.

“That explains the angry gardeners I saw yelling at them before I got here,” Ty Lee giggles.

“Well, let’s put them to good use then.”

As they tuck the flowers into Ty Lee’s braided hair she asks, “Why are you spending so much
time on me? Don’t you need to get dressed too?”

“What do you mean, I’m ready,” Katara says pouting while holding a flower midair.

“Right, you're wearing your daily robes to a formal ball?” Suki teases.

“Fine I think I have a fancier dress back in my room, I’ll run and change. Suki, you can
finish the flowers.”

Ty Lee looks at her reflection in the mirror. She does look beautiful - ethereal almost with the
white blossoms poking out of her hair.

“Okay now for what you’re going to wear”

“Here,” Ty Lee quickly rushes to the closet and grabs a set containing a light pink bodice, a
long pink silk fabric and then a sheer pink scarf to wear over.

“It’s perfect for you!”

Suki has only started wrapping the bottom of the sari when Katara returns.

“Thank Kyoshi, I need your help. We don’t wear saris in the earth kingdom so I’m definitely
messing this up.”

Katara raises an eyebrow at Suki, “Clearly. Go get ready, I’ll take it from here.”

“Okay see you both soon!”

“We don’t really wear saris in the water tribe either but I think I picked how to put one on
during our time in the fire nation.”

Ty Lee nods and lets Katara fumble with the fabric. Eventually the silk is secured around Ty
Lee’s waist and her scarf is draped over one shoulder and lightly embroidered bodice.

“Thanks Katara, it looks great,” Ty Lee says brightly looking into the mirror.
She continues, “So do you, I love your dress so much! That shade of blue is perfect for you!”

“Thanks, I can’t take credit, it just magically appeared in my closet.”

“What did I miss? Something about magically appearing dresses?”

Suki says, reentering the room in a deep green kimono with blue flowers embroidered onto
the fabric.

“Wow Suki you look -”

“Thanks Ty Lee but we’re going to be late so let’s talk on the way,” Suki interrupts, grabbing
the other two girls by the arms and leading them carefully through the halls to the room
where the annual celebration for the end of the war is held.

Despite Zuko’s hatred for events, especially large parties filled with nobles, ambassadors,
policy makers where essentially everyone present was scheming to fulfil their political
agenda, that is exactly what this party looked like. The room was hung mainly in reds and
golds but the insignias for all four nations were present above the seat reserved for the
leaders and their companions.

“I forgot how much I hate these fancy parties,” Katara sighs.

“I’m sure we can have some fun, right?”

Ty Lee says in her characteristically cheerful tone.

The noise of the crowd dies out suddenly.

“What’s happening?” Suki murmurs.

“I think it’s Zuko and Mai,” Katara whispers back.

She’s right. Clad in his formal fire lord regalia, Zuko looks every part of a leader, not the
moody teenager from Ty Lee’s memories. She only briefly glances at him and looks for the
woman at his side. Mai looks equally regal in maroon robes lined with gold.The intricate
designs on the flowing fabrics of Mai’s dress are captivating as she walks with Zuko through
the crowd. Ty Lee can’t take her eyes off of her. Piercing golden eyes and her silky black hair
tucked into a partial topknot with a golden headpiece to mirror Zuko’s. Ty Lee doesn’t realize
she’s been staring until she realizes that her gaze is met. Her breath catches in her chest. Ty
Lee is rooted in place but she wants to run out of the room at the sight of Mai with Zuko
looking like the married couple that everyone is expecting them to become.

Ty Lee sits up breathing heavily. She’s not in the fire nation, she’s in her room on Kyoshi
Island. Suki is curled up nearby on the floor, still asleep.

Ty Lee places her face in her hands. Tears fall from her eyes. She can’t escape the reality
she’s been trying to avoid, not even dreams are an escape.

For the first time she says the words aloud, whispering them into the night.
 “I think…” she breathes deeply, “I like Mai.”

Chapter End Notes

Thank you so much for reading !! I'm really excited to get back into this story and move
it forward, I don't have a sense of how long this fic will be yet but I hope you all won't
mind potentially long update periods, it's that schoolwork. And yes the dream Ty Lee
has of them all getting ready is inspired by that one scene from she-ra iykyk.
 Between the Bars
Chapter Summary

Mai's time while traveling to the Earth Kingdom gives her a chance to remember
moments from her time spent with azula and ty lee and her time at boiling rock

Chapter Notes

Hi! I'm getting excited about this story again and I'm hoping you'll enjoy reading it as
much as I enjoy writing it<3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The ever churning waves seem to bring forth forgotten memories in Mai’s mind. She rests her
chin against the railing of the ship, letting the salty air run through her hair while forgotten
moments run through her mind.

“I’m sorry Mai, I can only pull so many strings for you. Princess Azula would not be happy
to hear that you and your friend are receiving special treatment.”

“I’m not asking for anything special, just don’t separate me from Ty Lee.”

“The Princess has specifically ordered that you both are to be isolated.”

“From each other?”

“Yes, especially from each other.”

Mai sighs quietly, she’s exhausted, but not ready to back down.

“And you’re really going to let her do that?”

“It’s an order.”

“I’m not asking for you to let me out of here. My friend and I can still be in isolation just put
us in cells next to each other. We’d technically be separated.”

Her Uncle sighs, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” she bows.

Closing her eyes to shield her vision from the blinding summer sun, Mai revisits another
moment from her imprisonment. Still, she smiles through the sea spray despite memories of
prison coming to her mind. She can’t help it, when was the last time she was this calm?

Boiling rock lived up to its name. Drops of sweat ran down Mai’s face even in the shade of
her cell. They’d taken away her knives, and her gloves. She wasn’t used to seeing her hands
this bare. She glanced down at them, Zuko’s letter was worn thin in the palm of her hands.
She’d read and reread it to the point she’d nearly memorized it but she would never admit
that to anyone. Mai could barely admit that to herself. If loneliness and silence had been the
defining characteristics of her childhood, why was it so foreign to her now? A letter that had
brought her so much heartache had become her only company. For the first time, Mai wishes
she could bend fire. She’d send the letter up into smoke and let it dissipate into the steam
surrounding the prison.

She had no idea what Zuko was off doing. Part of her liked to imagine she’d found a way to
escape with him and his friends. She’d fight for her nation by fighting against it along the
side of the person whose company she craved the most.

What about Ty Lee?

Would she have stayed with Azula? Or would Ty Lee have come with her, with the group
really. She tried to remember the avatar and his friends who they’d fought before. The girl
with the blue eyes who bent water. A boy with a boomerang who she assumed was her
brother. A kyoshi warrior she remembered fighting, one who she saw fighting Ty Lee on the
cables. The avatar himself with grey eyes and a goofy smile. Then the girl with spiky dark
hair and pale green eyes. Now Zuko was a part of that group too, she smiled at the thought of
him. Maybe Mai could have been too if he had let her in. She would have gone with him if
he’d told her his true plans for what came after the day of the eclipse.

But he didn’t.

He’d shut her out and left her back in caldera with a mere letter.

He’d left her again here at boiling rock, instead this time she had been there to see him leave.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a commotion down the hall. She hears metal clashing and a
high pitched voice shouting.

“Let me go! Where are you taking me?”

A deeper voice, presumably a guard answers, “You traitors can rot together”

The metal squeaks against the tile floor as the cell next to her opens. Mai walks up to the
bars to see what’s happening. This is the most excitement she’d encountered for days. The
guards shove a prisoner into the cell. She’s on her knees, gripping the bars and yelling at
them to set her free. And then she crumples onto the floor and starts crying.

Mai recognizes the voice and runs to the corner of her cell so she can confirm her suspicions.
“Ty Lee?”

“Mai? Is it really you?” Ty Lee whispers, her voice cracking from withheld sobs.

“It’s me,” Mai says with a tenderness that she was surprised she was capable of possessing.
“Am I imagining you?”

“No, I’m here.”

Tears start to escape her eyes when she says it again.

“I’m here.”

They’re both in the corners of their cells that allow them to be as close to each other as
possible.

“I wish I could hug you right now,” Ty Lee sniffs.

Mai reaches her hand through the jailbars towards Ty Lee. She reaches back, they’re only
able to link their pinky fingers together. In this moment it’s enough, it has to be.

“Don’t let go,” Ty Lee murmurs.

“I won’t,” Mai says, losing her composure as she starts to cry along with the one person in
the world who she knows is on her side.

Mai doesn’t remember how many nights she’d fallen asleep against the wall of the cell next
to her. She knew Ty Lee did the same and they would always wake up sore, their aching
bodies distracting them from their aching hearts. They’d fall asleep whispering to each other
until exhaustion turned their words into incoherent mumbles. It’s beyond ironic, but that time
she spent with Ty Lee in prison was the most free Mai had ever been in her life up until now.

I hope Ty Lee is doing well. I’ll write her a letter once I’m in the Earth Kingdom. Maybe I’ll
even visit Kyoshi Island.

Boots tap against the metallic deck of the ship and Mai turns to face one of the members of
the crew she’d grown familiar with over the past couple of days.

“Lady Mai -”

“Just Mai is fine.”

She bows, "The captain wanted to let you know that we’re approaching the harbor. We should
be there by nightfall.”

“Thank you,” Mai bows in return.

As the sun sinks towards the horizon, Mai returns to her cabin to gather her belongings.
She’d learned to travel light from her time with Azula and Ty Lee.
 “Ty Lee, what did you buy this time?”

“Look! They’re bracelets for your arms! Aren’t they pretty?”

“I guess so.”

“Azula’s not going to be happy that you bought more stuff.”

“I got one for each of us, so we’ll never forget this time we spent together.”

“How sweet,” Mai deadpans.

“Here, hold out your arm. It’s a cuff for your arm instead of your wrist so it won’t get in the
way of your knives”

Despite her sarcasm Mai complies. Ty Lee pushes Mai’s sleeve back and secures a golden
band around her upper arm.

“Do you like it?”

The band is intricate, not to the point of being impractical and there are small garnets
embedded in the design. It might be the best gift Mai has ever gotten.

She smiles.

“Yeah, I do.”

Mai finds the arm cuff hidden in the bottom of her bag and slides it onto her arm, surprised
that it still fits after so many years. She packs up the rest of her things into her bag and
returns to the railing of the ship to watch the sunset over the ocean. A silhouette of a
shoreline is visible against the darkening sky and it grows larger and larger until the ship
reaches the dock. After thanking the captain and crew and saying goodbye to them, Mai exits
the ship. A slight smile forms on her face.

I made it to the earth kingdom.

I really did it, I left the fire nation.

Mai slips into the shadows of a night in the quiet harbor town, the narrow streets and moonlit
homes welcoming her into the Earth Kingdom.

Chapter End Notes

thank you so much for reading!! it means so so much to me! chapter 6 should be coming
soon (hopefully)
End Notes

Thank you so much for reading <3

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