1 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

Module 1: Introduction to Counseling

CHAPTER OBJECTIVES

 Introduce the basic concept of counseling

 Discuss the role of the counselor in the counseling environment
 Identify the role of active listening in counseling
 Describe the skills that are involved in active listening

Basic Concept of Counseling

Counseling is a widely used term that refers to giving professional guidance to an

individual (client) to help them deal with psychological, social, or performance problems.

Proven psychological methods are used to collect the client’s personal history through

interviews and tests and identify their problems, causes and contexts in order to devise and

apply the best approaches to resolve their issues. Here, the focus is on the concept of a

process. Counseling is a structured, systematic process that is organized in a series of steps,

and has the objective to help clients better understand and cope with situations that they are

struggling with. This often involves helping the client to be aware of and understand their

own emotions, thoughts, and feelings and be ready, able, and willing to make positive

alternative choices and decisions that will facilitate their aspirations and life goals. Hereby

clients become aware and mindful of automatic negative thoughts and accept that they

originated from genuine life experiences, which may have been so distressing that they

caused negative responses such as core beliefs just to be able to cope with their daily lives.

Clients are assisted to recognize these negative thought processes and understand that there
 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 2

are positive functional alternatives that are available to resolve their problems and change

their lives for the better.

We have already used some important concepts in counseling and therapy in the

previous paragraph, such as automatic negative thoughts, core beliefs, thought (or cognitive)

processes, functional alternative beliefs, and mindful awareness, which I will briefly explain.

We all know that thoughts are negative and positive and make us who we are from past years

of good and bad experiences. When we encounter frequent or severely negative

experiences—often as a child—we try to cope by rationalizing that the world is a bad place,

maybe we are not good enough, everyone is against us, we deserve the pain, and nothing will

ever get better again. These explanations become core beliefs if they are experienced over

and over and reinforced as a deep-seated view of ourselves, others, and the world. They are at

the core of automatic negative thoughts, those little voices that tell you you’re going to fail

again, others think you are hopeless, and that you shouldn’t think these thoughts. When

enough thoughts are unhelpfully negative, the consequences for ourselves and those around

us can be devastating. Sometimes one negative thought follows another without filter or

choice. When negative thinkers look at the past, there is regret. When they look at the future

there is anxiety and pessimism. In the present moment, there always seems to be something

that is unsatisfactory. This type of thinking severely limits a person’s ability to enjoy his or

her life, and to perform according to his or her abilities and aspirations, which soon alienates

others. In counseling, automatic negative thoughts and their underlying core beliefs are

identified and the client is guided to become aware of their presence and effects and assisted

to find healthier alternatives by developing functional alternative beliefs in small and

manageable steps. It is clear that these cognitive processes of unconscious thinking are

important initiators of human behavior, and therefore form a central aspect in most modern

counseling and therapy approaches. Many counseling techniques are nowadays enhanced
3 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

with principles of mindfulness. Instead of dwelling on negative experiences of the past and

the hopelessness of the future, the client is focused on an open and active awareness of the

present moment without judging any feelings or sensations. Each thought, feeling, and

experience is acknowledged and accepted as it is. This counseling and therapy technique

teaches the client self-regulated attention and conscious awareness of his or her current

thoughts, feelings, and surroundings, which is accepted without entanglement in their

dysfunctional core beliefs and negative thoughts.

Counseling also entails that a client is provided with the necessary skills that are

required to support the rest of the counseling process and their lives outside of counseling.

These are usually social, personal interaction, and communication skills that are helpful in

making the changes to resolve their problems, improve their functioning, and improve

personal growth. In essence, counseling is a structured and systematic process through

purposeful communication between the counsellor and client to resolve psychological

problems and improve the client’s functioning. This is achieved by identifying the client’s

problems and its context, and identifying and implementing a practical solution to bring about

positive changes.

Role of the Counselor

Usually, two persons are present during counseling, the counselor/therapist and the

client. They engage in a process through communication that is facilitated and guided by the

counselor through active listening and leads to action on the part of the client. The counselor

is a professional who uses his or her education and experience to engage with the client,

establish a trusting and empathetic relationship, and identify and resolve problems in

collaboration with the client. In most modern counseling and therapy approaches, the

counselor has an active facilitator role (in collaboration) rather than an expert instructor (in
 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 4

authority). There are many distinct factors and aspects of the counselor’s role and personal

approach that have a significant impact on the counseling process.

Therapeutic relationship. The single most important aspect that determines the

effectiveness of counseling is the therapeutic relationship. The therapeutic relationship or

alliance is created between the counselor and client when an atmosphere of mutual trust and

confidence exists without bias and judgment, which helps to affect beneficial change in the

client through positive rapport and engagement. The most widely cited contemporary

definition of the therapeutic alliance was developed by Gelso and Carter (1985), which

asserts that “The relationship is the feelings and attitudes that therapist and client have

towards one another, and the manner in which these are expressed” (p. 159). The therapeutic

relationship consists of three elements, namely the working alliance, transference and

countertransference, and the real relationship.

The working alliance is made of three parts, namely tasks, goals, and bond, and is the

productive joining or collaboration of the efforts of the counselor and client to affect positive

change. Transference and countertransference are also very important concepts in counseling

and therapy. Transference was first described by Sigmund Freud as an activation of feelings

and emotions from repressed childhood experiences in the client in the process of

engagement with the therapist. A more recent and simpler explanation is a phenomenon

characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another. Although

transference is often viewed as inappropriate, it is only the case when it leads to maladaptive

thoughts, feelings, or behaviors in either the counselor or client. Otherwise it is a very natural

component of the engagement process between two people. Countertransference, specifically,

is the redirection of a therapist’s feelings toward a patient, which can be as varied as erotic

attraction, anger, or contempt, all of which would be counterproductive in counseling. The

real or personal relationship between the client and therapist is based on genuineness and
5 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

realism and is a powerful force in the change process as it enables the therapist to assist client

to accept themselves and make better choices.

Therapeutic process role. The counselor’s role in the therapy process can be broadly

divided into six activities, namely connect, reassure, stabilize, address needs and concerns,

provide support, and facilitate coping, and is illustrated in Figure 1 below.

Figure 1: Therapeutic Process

 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 6

Figure 1 above illustrates the important and comprehensive roles that a counselor play

in the therapeutic process, including the need to be trustworthy, nonjudgmental, and

encouraging. His or her personal attributes and abilities are critical elements in building

synergy with the client to develop a durable change effect together by avoiding negative

transference and creating a stable and positive atmosphere that will give the client self-

confidence to focus on strengths rather than emphasize problems and concerns. By providing

and facilitating an environment and process with which a client feels comfortable, familiar,

and not judged, positive change can occur. In order to achieve these process-related roles, the

counselor also has to consider his or her emotional and professional roles and how they may

impact on the therapeutic alliance and process.

Social and emotional role. The therapeutic relationship is not devoid of feelings, in

fact, effective therapy largely depends on expressing, perceiving, and processing feelings that

the client may have a problem dealing with in his or her life situation (Knapp, 2007). It is the

counselor’s role to identify, acknowledge, and understand these feelings and emotions with

sensitivity, objectivity, and a nonjudgmental attitude. It is as important to keep an appropriate

emotional distance from the client, as it is to consider (and empathize with) his or her feelings

in the context of their circumstances and past experiences. Objectivity allows the counselor to

focus on the client’s problems without letting bias and personal judgments get into the way of

improvement. For similar reasons, personal contact with a client is contraindicated as it can

easily move beyond the boundaries of professionalism and objectivity and become a

confounding factor in the professional relationship. It is reasonable to argue that first hand

observations of the client in social situations may be beneficial as client-reported versions

may not be accurate. However, they provide valuable clues to the client’s own conscious and

subconscious interpretations, emotions, and intentions that may have been lost otherwise. In

the process, the counselor realizes that he or she is in essence the client’s advocate and has
7 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

their wellbeing at heart without other interference. Social interactions can easily lead to

conflicting interests with others in the client’s life, which is potentially harmful to the

therapeutic relationship and counseling objectives with the client as the counselor’s primary

consideration.

Professional role. Ethical guidelines and professional codes of conduct of all therapy

and counseling associations require that a professional adhere to a set of rules to protect the

counselor, client, and health care profession as a whole. These oblige the counselor to protect

the privacy and confidentiality of the client in all but the most exceptional circumstances. In

some situations, legislation that is applicable to the particular jurisdiction that the counselor

practices in, may demand disclosure. Common examples are if the counselor has probable

cause to believe that the client is involved in child abuse, elderly abuse, using sessions in

furtherance of an ongoing or future crime, or present and clear and imminent danger to

himself or someone else. These exceptions to privilege must be discussed with the client in

the informed consent process prior to the first counseling session. Apart from these

exceptions, the counselor must protect the client’s identity and personal information at all

times.

Another of the counselor’s role requirements demands that he or she limits their

procedures, actions, and processes to the scope of practice that is allowed within their specific

education and experience. This is usually defined by national or state/provincial licensing

boards and the counselor may face an administrative or other complaint if the conditions are

violated, which may result in sanctions such as probation, suspension, or license revocation.

Boundary issues are also important, which mostly refer to the counselor’s self-

disclosure, touch, exchange of gifts, bartering, location of sessions, and contact with a client

outside the office, including dual relationships which may sometimes be unavoidable.

Unprofessional contact and conduct with the client may result in ineffective counseling,
 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 8

exploitation, and mental harm. The professional relationship should be confined to

competently providing goal-directed counseling services at appropriate times and locations

only and casual contact outside this setting should be avoided (Knapp, 2007). Counseling

effectiveness are based on a sound and professional therapeutic relationship with predictable,

stable, and robust boundaries, although some flexibility may be appropriate in different

cultural and confined settings. Therefore it is also important that a counselor is culturally

competent to deal with diverse clients and understand the impact that certain behaviors may

have on the success of counseling.

Furthermore, counselors have the responsibility to ensure that they practice within

their own limits of competence. They should realize that they will probably have a profound

effect on the life and wellbeing of a client that they are attempting to counsel effectively.

Therefore, the service that they provide, including the type of client and problems, as well as

the methods that they apply, must be within their own proven abilities and experience. In

essence, it is the main goal of the counselor to identify and resolve the client’s issues that are

within his professional scope and improve the client’s condition. The counselor should not

allow anything to compromise his or her relationship with the client, and take all reasonable

steps to achieve their mutually agreed goals.

Role of Active Listening in Counseling

Active listening is the practice of listening to a speaker and providing feedback by

repeating, paraphrasing or reflecting to indicate to the speaker that their message is heard and

understood. Although most counseling clients will attempt to explain or disclose their ideas,

concerns, and expectations about their problems, often real concerns and underlying factors

go unrecognized. However, clients provide unconscious clues in speech, narratives, or

behavior that could make the counselor aware that there are unresolved concerns that the
9 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

client may not be ready or able to raise. A deeper understanding of the true problems and

their underlying causes result in more effective counseling and improved client wellbeing.

By ensuring that the counselor understands the nuances of the spoken and unsaid

issues, he or she is in the best position to identify the real problems to target in counseling.

This is achieved by applying the techniques of active listening, which is a method that can be

learnt and practiced. The first step of active listening is comprehending. The counselor

analyzes while listening to what the client is saying without distractions of sounds,

interruptions, or thoughts about other topics. The second step is retaining, where the

counselor not only analyzes what the client is saying, but also places it in the context and

meaning of their whole situation to add maximum value to the message. The third step is

responding, which is very important to relay to the client that what he or she is saying is

clearly and correctly understood, while clarifying where necessary. The counselor interprets

the client’s message, but needs to ensure that the client’s emotions, feelings, and information

is correctly perceived. This can be done by paraphrasing the message and repeating it back to

the client in his or her own words. Hereby the client is given the opportunity to hear their

words in a different way, which adds to overall understanding, and provides a good time to

clarify any misunderstanding. The client also acknowledges their feelings while knowing that

the counselor has paid attention, which build mutual trust, openness, and establishes a strong

counselor-client bond.

Skills Required in Active Listening

As mentioned before, the practice of active listening that is critical to effective

counseling can be learnt and practiced to develop the necessary skills. Techniques that should

be practiced to improve active listening are as follows:

1. Restating: The counselor is demonstrating that he or she is listening by

paraphrasing what the client has said. The counselor repeats what the client
 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 10

has said in his or own words, which the client has the opportunity to

acknowledge, confirm, or correct.

2. Summarizing: The counselor brings pieces of information together and checks

his or her understanding with the client. An example is: “So, it sounds to me

as if…”, or “Am I correct in understanding that…”

3. Minimal encouragers: Brief, but positive prompts are used to encourage the

flow of information while letting the client know that you are listening and

attentive. Examples are “Oh?”, “I understand”, “Then”, and “And?”

4. Reflecting: The counselors adds an interpretation in terms of feelings and

feeds it back to the client to check understanding. “It sounds as if it really

bothered you that…”.

5. Giving feedback: The counselor may at times add his or her own thoughts,

feelings, and experiences to get the client to confirm or elaborate an

understanding.

6. Emotion labeling: This technique is useful to put observable feelings and

emotions into words and check with the client or encourage further insights.

“I’m sensing that you are anxious…worried…angry…frustrated…”

7. Probing: By taking a statement or information that a client has given, the

counselor can subtly elicit more detail by follow-up questions. “What do you

think would happen if…”

8. Validation: It is very valuable for the client to feel that he or she is not judged

or deemed “bad” or inadequate. The counselor should acknowledge the

client’s problems as reasonable given their particular situation. “I appreciate

that it was a difficult experience.”

11 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

9. Effective pause: Using deliberate pauses to emphasize key points is important

to convey their importance to the client while giving them a short opportunity

to reflect.

10. Silence: Comfortable silences can be productively applied to give a client time

to think, remember, and formalize responses. It can be used to redirect a topic

or slow/tone down an excited or emotional exchange.

11. “I” messages: In many cases the use of “I” in responses give a softer, less

direct, and nonjudgmental impression. Instead of “You have…”, use “I feel

that you have…”.

12. Redirecting: If a client is very distressed, anxious, angry, or otherwise

emotional, it is sometimes better to change the topic for a while to diffuse their

emotions.

13. Consequences: The client is prompted to raise their awareness and

understanding of the likely consequences if they do not act to resolve their

issues.

In the process of active listening, the counselor should also be attentive to manners

that may block effective communication. Examples are:

 “Why” questions, which may often elicit a defensive response from a client,

 quick reassurance and deflection from a potential problem,

 too much advising by the counselor, which may disempower the client,

 digging for information and forcing discussion of a topic that a person does

not want to talk about,

 patronizing and preaching, which detracts from the client’s validation,

 interrupting the client,

 ignoring the client’s feelings,

 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 12

 allowing the interaction to drift without aim,

 baiting the client to provide certain reactions or admissions,

 changing or correcting what the client has said,

 pretending to have understood the client, or

 letting your own feelings and reactions interfere with the process.

Finally, it is clear by now how important active listening is as a cornerstone in

effective counseling. It is a subtle and respectful method to gain maximum value from spoken

information, unspoken clues, and mutual understanding, which are essential elements in a

strong counselor-client therapeutic alliance. The following transcript demonstrates some of

the principles of active listening. Read it carefully and reflect on the questions afterwards.

Some of the more advanced concepts will be discussed further in following Units.

Active Listening in Practice

The following transcript is of a real-life therapy session with an adolescent sexual

abuser. The client is a 16-year-old male who was arrested for having repeated intercourse

with an underage female. At 7- to 9-years old he was abused and raped by his stepfather. The

therapy session took place in a residential setting (Jennings, Apsche, Blossom, & Bayles,

2013, pp. 20-21):

(Therapist): Open your eyes and allow yourself to get focused in this moment. Are

you good? [Acknowledges the client and his feelings.]

(Client): I feel like I am moving through these painful feelings and thoughts in a

different way than I have in the past with other therapists. [Based on

prior mindfulness training, the adolescent has learned to allow painful

memories and emotions to enter awareness and observe them without

judgment.] Now what?

13 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

(Therapist): Well, let’s talk about it. You have let yourself think these thoughts and

feel the pain and you are still here. [Acceptance and validation.] So, is it

possible that you can accept that these painful thoughts and feelings are

part of you, whether it sucks or not? [Paraphrasing.]

(Client): Yeah. [Acknowledging therapist understanding.]

(Therapist): And, it's clear you can experience them and not fall apart. [Validation.]

Can you then commit yourself to move on with all of your pain and

thoughts and not let them control your life? [Elicit commitment to

action.]

(Client): I can try, but this isn’t easy.

(Therapist): You are right. It's not easy. [Validation.] However, you have just

successfully accepted that they are part of you and you can move on with

your life. [Acceptance.]

(Client): Yeah, I did.

(Therapist): So, maybe there are also times when there are no painful feelings and

thoughts? [Probing.]

(Client): Maybe, sometimes there are.

(Therapist): In the last session, we discussed how you couldn’t feel anything.

(Client): Yeah, I am numb. Empty.

(Therapist): You endorsed the beliefs “Anything is better than feeling unpleasant”

and “Whenever I hurt, I do what it takes to feel better” as “Always”.

Remember? [The therapist is referring to an earlier assessment of beliefs

endorsed by the client.]

(Client): Yeah, so?

(Therapist): Let’s talk about your emptiness and numbness.

 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 14

(Client): Okay.

(Therapist): Tell me what your numbness feels like. [Probing.]

(Client): It feels like nothing.

(Therapist): And, where is the nothing?

(Client): What do you mean, where?

(Therapist): Where on or in your body do you notice the nothing-the emptiness and

numbness?

(Client): [Points to chest.]

(Therapist): Where on your chest? [Encourager.]

(Client): Here, right in my chest.

(Therapist): Describe how the numbness feels. What does the emptiness feel like in

your chest?

(Client): It feels like an empty hole.

(Therapist): What do you notice about this emptiness? Is it there to protect you from

pain? [Reflecting.]

(Client): What pain?

(Therapist): The pain of your past physical and emotional abuse. The pain you feel

from your mother not being able to take care of you. [Refers to insights

gained by the youth during pre- ceding treatment sessions.]

(Client): No, there was pain there, but I cut it off.

(Therapist): Okay, describe that pain that was there.

(Client): It was like a burning hole in my chest, like my heart had hot burning lava

in there.

(Therapist): Okay, let yourself experience that pain. The hot lava right here [points to

chest] ...right now. Let’s sit with it. [Silence.]

15 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

(Therapist): What are the painful thoughts that go with this numbness and pain?

[Probing.]

(Client): I am alone-no good. I am shit, like trash.

(Therapist): Let yourself experience these thoughts and pain. You know that you

have spent your life avoiding these painful thoughts and feelings. They

are really hard as hell to deal with. [Validation.]

(Client): Yes, it really sucks sometimes that I have to live with pain and bad

memories, but at least I can live with them and finally move on in my

life.

(Therapist): It’s not easy, but you have just successfully accepted that they [painful

feelings] are part of you and you can move on with your life.

[Summarizing.]

(Client): Yes, I did.

(Therapist): So, you agree that you can experience painful or numb feelings and be

okay at times? [Restating.]

(Client): This time.

(Therapist): It makes sense that you are in therapy given your history. Your

childhood was filled with hurt and anger and being on your own most of

the time. [Validation.]

(Client): You know it.

(Therapist): So you being here with all these feelings of anger and hurt makes sense

and it is where you need to be, but you also can experience your painful

thoughts and emotions and be okay. [Restating.]

(Client): I don’t know if I can.

 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 16

(Therapist): I mean right now in this moment, you can experience unpleasant feelings

and be okay.

(Client): Right now, yeah.

(Therapist): Tell me how much you really believe you are okay experiencing these

painful thoughts and feelings on a scale of 1 to 10, right now.

(Client): Maybe a 6.

(Therapist): So, 60 percent of the time, you, in this moment, are able to experience

unpleasant feelings and be okay. [Restating.]

(Client): Yeah, I need more work with this shit, though.

(Therapist): You will keep working on it, because it works and you are important and

can experience some good stuff in life. [Consequences.]

(Client): Okay.

(Therapist): Can I ask one more thing? You had endorsed the belief “Always” for

“Whenever I hurt, I do what it takes to feel better”. Right? [The therapist

is referencing an earlier assessment of beliefs endorsed by the client.]

(Client): Yeah.

(Therapist): So, before, what did you do to feel better? [Probing.]

(Client): Fight, drink, smoke weed. You know, stuff like that.

(Therapist): Okay, but you just experienced painful thoughts, hurtful feelings and that

hot lava—and you said you could deal with it 60 percent of the time,

right here and now. Right? [Summarizing and restating.]

(Client): Yeah, so?

(Therapist): So, is it possible to hurt and be okay with it in this moment? [Restating.]

(Client): Yeah, right now I can.

17 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

(Therapist): So right here and right now in this moment, you can hurt and be okay

and not have to fight, drink, smoke weed, or any other stuff like non-

consensual sex? [Restating and consequences.]

(Client): Yeah, right now with you.

(Therapist): That’s where it starts. Good work for today! We’ll continue working on

this next session so you can feel numbness and pain and be okay in the

moment...Now, let’s end the session with a breathing mindfulness

exercise...

In the session above, the effective use of active listening becomes clear, especially as

the therapist validates the young client’s problem behavior as reasonable given his difficult

past experiences. He also uses summarizing, restating, and probing in alternating sequences

to get more meaningful information, ensure mutual understanding, and builds the client’s

commitment for action. He also utilizes silence to give the client time to think about a

difficult aspect of his problems. Now, think about the questions below.

You’re the Counselor

The client is an adolescent male with problem behaviors and a past of abuse. It is important
for a counselor to consider the maturity and abilities of a client in their interaction, which is
reflected in the active listening approaches that he uses. In this case, do you believe that the
therapist effectively interacted with the client given his young age?

Any counseling session should have a particular goal. The session is planned and
structured with that specific goal in mind. Active listening skills are applied with the
objective to achieve the goal with the client in the allotted time. What would you say the
session goal was - redirection of the client’s beliefs and validation of his experience? Was
this goal achieved? Could the therapist have done anything better or different?

In this Unit (1), the overall objective of counseling—as a structured and systematic

process to resolve a client’s psychological or performance problems and improve his or her

wellbeing—was discussed, as well as the broad roles and responsibilities of the counselor in
 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual 18

achieving a positive outcome. The importance of a strong therapeutic alliance in effective

counseling was emphasized, and the practice of active listening explained in order to build

this required level of mutual trust, while eliciting meaningful information to be used in the

change process. As has become clear at this time, the counseling process revolves around an

interview setting. The interviewing skills and tasks of the counselor will be explored in Unit

2, and its role in the impact on the therapeutic relationship examined.

KEY CONCEPTS

 Counseling is the practice to improve psychological, social, or performance

deficits or abilities of a client.
 Counseling is a planned, systematic, structured, and step-wise process to
achieve an identified objective.
 The counselor facilitated the process by considering the client’s maturity
and abilities, and identify and resolve problems by eliciting information.
 The therapeutic alliance is the most important determinant of counseling
effectiveness.
 The practice of active listening contributes to the therapeutic alliance.
 The counselor has to adhere to ethic and professional guidelines to protect
everyone’s interests.
19 Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

References

Gelso, C.J. & Carter, J. (1985). The relationship in counseling and psychotherapy:

Components, consequences, and theoretical antecedents. Counseling Psychologist,

13(2), 155-243. DOI: 10.1177/0011000085132001

Jennings, J. L., Apsche, J. A., Blossom, P., & Bayles, C. (2013). Using mindfulness in the

treatment of adolescent sexual abusers: Contributing common factor or a primary

modality? International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy, 8(3-4), 17-

22.

Knapp. H. (2007). Therapeutic communication: Developing professional skills. Thousand

Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.