Chapter 1

My name is Eli Maloon and I’m gay living in the 21st century
of America. Oh, and one thing, I’m black. Today is my 16th
birthday. Yes. The big double digits, the big 16. Where most of
our lives seem to fall apart, if it hasn’t already of course. Not
me though, I always stay from the drugs, party and other
criminal activities that I am not aware of, but I sometimes can’t
help but wonder what it’d be like to feel the thrill of doing
wrong things; thankfully it’ll never happen.
A week into Sophomore year and everything is as average as it
can be. Except my friends they are never boring, and I stand by
that. Being the oldest in year is a hard responsibility to have
that my back is starting to hurt from carrying my whole
classmates; just because 70% of them don’t know who I am
does not mean I’m not the most important. I had grey knitted
sweater on and black jeans. I have amazing fashion but I need
to dim it to keep myself in the shadow, receiving too much
attention is my worst nightmare. People looking at me with
spite, anger or happiness I can’t deal with it. The events of last
year proves that. But enough of me being a negative molly, it’s
time for school.
“Morning family” They were all sat in the dining room eating
breakfast, nobody answered me back. Honestly, I think we need
a family day out in the future.
“Sit down and eat” My dad said without looking up at me. I
saw a plate with 5 sausages and two eggs. I shake my head and
snatch a waffle off of Piper’s plate. I quickly run out of the
room hearing a loud shriek
“Eli give me back my waffle!” I take my bag from the coat
hanger and leave the house with the waffle in my mouth. I turn
around and see her at the door, her face scrunched up and fist
tightened
“I’ll get you Eli just you wait!”
My little sis is one crazy girl. In her own right. Winding her up
was a chore I could do all day and for free too, I slow my pace
as I leave my street. My two friends, Xani and David live on the
next street.
I wait at the end of their street until I see them walking to me.
Xani was a bubbly Chinese girl, tall and skinny, and had
circular glasses that had been replaced countless of time due to
incompetent girls breaking them by ‘accident’, she loves
reading romantic books especially romantic-comedy. She’s tall
for the height of a 15-year-old girl, she’s even a bit taller than
me too. My eyes move on to David who was also dark-skinned
but way hotter than me. I am more in the cute spectrum of
attraction and I’m totally fine with it.
He had big black hair that looked like a fluffy ball and had
headphones on his shoulder every day.
“Uh, when did you get such a big growth spurt?” I asked David.
What did he eat over the weekend. Before I could respond,
Xani tackles me into a hug
“Happy Birthday Eli!” I slowly pat her back and chuckle.
“Thanks Xani, this is already a birthday present”
She lets go of me and hands me a gay pride pin thing that I’ve
always wanted, “No you didn’t”
“Yes, I did” I take the pin and attach it to my sweater. I don’t
care what people say I’m not afraid to tell them what I am and
besides people have probably figured it out from the way I talk
and walk but don’t say anything.
“Sorry man, I didn’t get you anything” David said meeting my
eye. I could tell he was embarrassed.
“It’s fine Dave, I’m just happy we’re still friends” A small
smile forms on his face and we start walking to school with me
in the middle and them at the sides.
Many minutes pass and our conversation turns into our crushes.
“No cause, this year is the year I become Levi’s boyfriend” I
say like I’m exhaling the most amazing breath. Levi was
breath-taking. And he was bisexual too so I definitely have a
chance with him yet my insecurities make me doubt that but I
keep those thoughts far from the front of my mind.
“It’s been a year; don’t you think it’s time to move on?” David
asks quietly. I get where he’s coming from but I feel like this is
the year he will finally like me back. How can you not like me?
Xani argues back “No you can’t. What if he starts liking Eli
when Eli stops liking him” Her eyes frantically flick from me to
David “Trust me, it happens” David soon rolled his eyes
“You’ve just been reading too much love stories Xani”
“I can’t survive without Love David, I just can’t”
“Speaking of love, how are things going with Sophie” I start to
smirk. I am so good at changing the topic. Xani’s face becomes
a red tomato, it’s always adorable to see people crazily in love.
I’m not crazily in love with David, I just really like him. My
crush for him just comes and goes like waves on a beach.
“I really don’t know. She knows I like her but, it feels like she
doesn’t know like she doesn’t want to believe it” The black-
haired girl sighs “Girls are so confusing”
“Can’t relate” I say, David and Xani laugh. “But seriously, if
she doesn’t want to give you the light of day make sure you
don’t too” Xani rests her head on my shoulder and stroke her
hair, she is an amazing person. Anyone would be lucky to have
her.
-

-
My first class was English Lit and I couldn’t've been any
happier. It was one of the classes out of 3 that had Levi in it and
the best part was he sat right next to me! No barriers to separate
us. He struggled with literature and was thankful to have me by
his side to help him. He was just so handsome when he gets
stuck on a question. He’s nice to me and my friends, thinks I’m
a very beautiful person and I quote
“You’re very attractive though?”
You best believe I was replaying that scene in my head.
I enter the class with only a few people inside. Mrs Wilson was
a pain in my ass though, she picks on me every time I’m not
paying attention and when I do raise my hand; she doesn’t pick
me anyway. She was a chubby woman who looked awful in
yellow but seemed to wear it every day, had hardly no neck and
the voice of a child. I sit at my desk that was near the tall
window, when I was bored, I would look at it and daydream
about the guy sitting next to me.
I see Levi enter the room and I immediately check his clothes: a
white basketball hoodie, black joggers and black crocs. From
his shoes to his caramel skin was the embodiment of perfection.
Perfect body type, perfect hazel eyes that looked amazing in the
sun might I add and brown curly hair to top it off. I swear rays
of white light was emitting from him at that moment. But a
sentence quickly pulled me out of my trance
“Levi you will now be sitting beside Sarah at the front”
What?
He had a small shock on his face. I was about to cry, he then
gives me a small wave and smile revealing his dimples and I
wave back as he sits down next to the loner, Sarah hills.
I raised my hand. I was playing with death right now.
“What Maloon” she says spitting. Most of the students are in
their places listening to the conversation
“Why did Levi have to move? We worked really well together”
Her tone changes “I know you did but the person who’s going
to sit next to you needs more much help than you do”
“Uh, who?” Just then a tall guy wearing a black puffy coat and
nike bottoms saunters in like he holds power over everyone.
The random guy is called to the front by Mrs Wilson
“Everyone meet Warren Marsh. He has joined our class and the
school please make him feel loved” I have never seen a guy
with such dirty blonde hair like his. Where is the brightness?
“Please can you sit next to Eli, Eli raise your hand please”
I do so.
Our eyes meet and it was like being pinned to a wall. He takes
his seat next to me with his hands in his pockets.
“Perfect. Let’s get started, shall we?”
In pair tasks, I did it myself and he just copied me but every
time I looked at the teacher or book, I could feel his eyes almost
analysing me.
“You got a big forehead you know”
His first words to me are that?
I gulp “I know”
“You could easily play tic-tac-toe on it”
“It’s not that big it’s on the stage moderately concerning” He
snorts “Now if you could refrain from the insults, it would be
appreciated”
“You sound posh”
I make eye contact with him and lick me lips as they were
becoming chapped and stare at him blankly.
“What? Is that an insult to you?”
 I shake my head. The vibes he was giving me were not good at
all like he did all sort of criminal activity. You shouldn’t judge
a book by its cover but sometimes you just know when it's bad
or good.
“You got plumpy lips”
This was going to be a long English lesson.
The time passed and it was finally lunch, I met up with my
friends outside to eat. Although it was September to sun didn’t
want to leave yet. I take a bite out of my sandwich after telling
them about the new guy, Warren.
“We nee’ o’ tay away fro’ him. That what” I say with a mouth
full of food.
“Yeah, he’s a white boy too. A second reason” David said and I
click my fingers at him. White boys are nothing but trouble and
unnecessary heartache like come on dating a white boy is
setting you up for depression and an unfulfilled life. It’s not
spoken about as much as it needs to be I swear. I turned to Xani
who hasn’t been active in the conversation and was looking
around the area.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m supposed to give Sophie her math homework. She asked
me to complete it a lunch and find her in the courtyard” I
furrow my eyebrows. Xani? Doing someone’s homework?
Never heard of it. I became very sceptical;
“You sure she didn’t force you or anything?”
“No, not at all. I wanted to; besides I get to spend more time
with her too” She smiles brightly at me. There was silence for a
while until a sandy-coloured girl came up to our table with a
lunch plate in her hands.
“Hey, am I able to sit here for lunch? I’m kind of new” she said
looking at the three of us. Xani, David and I shared a glance at
each other, nobody has ever don’t this to us. We’re supposed to
be the friend group that is in the background.
“Yes, if course” Xani said “You can sit next to me” The girl
takes her seat on the bench and gives Xani a small smile.
“Sorry for invading your friend bubble thing. You guys looked
approachable and nice” She explains. “I’m Noelle” We all
introduced ourselves to her and I told her about the people she
needed to watch out for in our year.
“Make sure you don’t fall for Shawn’s smirk and flirts. The guy
literally orgasms when he hears there’s a new girl” Noelle
chuckles quietly,
“I’ll make sure to stay away from him. Although I don’t really
like white boys anyways” Xani and I stare at her wide-eyed.
David had his headphones on and didn’t listen to the
conversation as always.
“Noelle, you can happily hang out with us” Xani says
“You’ll fit right in” I also say. It’s always nice when someone
has the same opinion as you. But like I don’t dislike white boys
because I guess you can say that’s racist; I just don’t get
crushes on them because well. We wouldn’t work out. Our lives
are totally different from one another. It’s not like he can
magically cook up an African dish or something which would
be awesome might I add.
I listen to Noelle talking about moving from Kentucky which
randomly made me think about cowboys and those hot men
who wear those cowboy hats. Oh, what is wrong with me? But I
must say Noelle was extremely beautiful especially in the sun;
she has her hair slicked back into a short ponytail I could tell
she had curly hair. Now she really must watch out for Shawn.
To me, he’s uglier than a rat.
And not the normal kind of rat.
-

-
The final bell rings and it was now the end of the school day,
and thank God.
“Hey Eli!” Yelled a voice I knew all too well. I swiftly turn
around and Levi jogs to me, it was an amazing sight to see, his
big hair bouncing up and down and his bright smile revealing
his pearly white teeth.
I quickly lick my bottom lip, “What’s up Levi” I internally
cringed. What’s up? Really Eli? You’re not a bro or something.
We begin walking and he says,
“Nothing much. Just wanted to know if you were doing alright”
A smile creeps up on my face. How can you not like a boy like
this? No wonder I’ve only ever liked him. It’s been like that for
some time. I can seem to like anyone else since I feel like I’m
betraying him even when I don’t have a crush on him.
“I’m good thanks. Just a bit annoyed I won’t be sitting next to
you in English Lit” He nods and pouts. “Yeah, I’ll miss sitting
next you too, and I was starting to get it as well”
“If you’re really struggling maybe, you should get a tutor” I say
“You do have the money”
He chuckles as he rubs his hand on his neck. He looked so hot
whilst doing it. “My parents already said if I get lower than a B,
they’ll be getting me one”
“Gotta get to studying then, huh” I wink at him and I went my
separate way to my locker. I didn’t turn back to see his reaction
of what I just did. Too much embarrassment on my part. I need
him to know I’m interested in him but I don’t know how to
actually show it. Everything I’m doing is basically what friends
do to friends. Ugh, crushes are so annoying. Why can’t a guy
like me and I like them and have the best times of our lives.
After getting my stuff from my locker I met up with Xani and
Noelle who was with her. I wonder where David was so I asked
Xani.
“He said he won’t be able to walk with us since he has
homework to do in the library” I narrow my eyes at her
explanation. David doing homework after school? Didn’t sound
like him one bit. And as his black friend, I’m going to check up
on him.
“You guys can go, I’ll catch up with you” I said to the girls and
entered back inside, barely making it past the surge of people
who wanted to eagerly leave the school. The halls were almost
empty, with only the occasional students hanging around the
lockers. As I got to the other side of the school, where the
library usually was. I stumbled upon hearing David’s and
Levi’s voice and I paused and peered my head past the corner,
listening to their conversation. Now looking carefully, they
were really close to each other.
“You sure you don’t want to be walking with your friends,
instead of me” Levi said. David back was turned to me and I
could only see Levi’s face.
“Yeah, I’m sure, I would pick you over them any day”
“Come on, don’t say that” My eyebrows met in the middle as
Levi’s hand strokes David’s cheeks. What the actual hell is
going on? I blink a couple of times but then I see their mouths
connect with each other. They are so kissing right now. In
shock, I gasp. They pull apart from each other and David looks
at me with his mouth open.
“Eli...I know what it looks like but let me explain” I leave and
start walking away, hearing David’s footsteps not far behind.
“Look, I was going to tell you sooner or later alright”
“No David, you weren’t going to tell me at all!” I say without
looking back. The halls we past were deserted and way from
any ears.
“I’m sorry, I really am but it just happened, he thought I was
attractive HE asked me out Eli, I couldn’t say no” David says,
his words coming out faster than a moving train.
“Didn’t you think about me? About how that would hurt your
friends’ feelings” I exhale shakily. Was I really about to cry
“You could’ve just asked me and I would've said yes- “I felt my
body being pulled the other way and I was now facing David.
“God dammit Eli no you wouldn’t! Why does everything have
to be about you. About your life, your struggles, your crushes,
your sexuality struggles. Can’t it be about me? Can’t I have
this?” He said with his hand on his chest. Every word stabbed
my stomach; if he told me he felt like this about me then I
would’ve changed. It’s not my fault he keeps everything to
himself.
“It’s my birthday, David. My 16th birthday. This is the day
where everything is supposed to go perfect but no. You had to
ruin it” His face softens suddenly. “Thanks for the birthday
surprise”
And I left. I knew he didn’t bother chasing me down a second
time.
-

-
-
I had the television on in my living room eating a tub of vanilla
ice cream the best flavour on earth. People saying eating
something cold helps with heartache; they were wrong. It’s
only made it worse. Not to mention the fact that is pouring
outside, the weather really knows how to enhance the mood,
huh.
“Eli, make sure to close the curtains” My ma said, I nod at her
instruction and she leaves the room to go upstairs. I didn’t get
why you needed to close the curtains, it looks more better when
you can see the depressing atmosphere and people getting
absolutely wet. I had my favourite show on: Keeping up with
the Kardashians. It’s an addiction at this point. Besides, seeing
other people’s drama makes me forget about mine.
Minutes pass and randomly there was a knock on the window
inside the living room. Wait a damn minute. I put my ice cream
away, mute the television and open the window.
“Warren?” I said, perplexed.
“Hey, let me in really quickly” He had a black cap on and a bag
on his back. “Please now!” He said, looking back every few
seconds. I take a few steps back and he throws himself inside
my living room. He closes the window and crouches against the
wall and breathes heavily. What an earth?
“What are you doing?” He suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me
to him causing me to also crouch.
“Just...shut...up”
Our breaths become synchronized and I feel his on my neck
making my hair stand on its ends. His arm around my stomach
tightly and his cap poking the back of my head I’ve never been
this close to a guy before and it doesn’t help when he’s white
too. We stayed like this for more than 30 seconds before he let
go of me. The brown-eyed guy stood up warily and moved far
from the windows.
“Now can you ask me what is going on?”
“Look, all I need is- “
There were 3 sturdy knocks on the door.
“That’s the police. Tell them that I’m not here. That is all” He
whispers. I only just realised how wet his clothes were. His
grey shirt was basically stuck to his body, revealing some really
toned abs. I shake my head and does what he says.
“Eli get the door!” My father says from upstairs.
“I’m doing it right now!” I yell back. I open the door with a
blank expression. Two officers one male and female stare at me
right back.
“Hello young man. Have you seen a boy with a black cap and
grey shirt anywhere in your area?” Said the old male officer.
“No I haven’t officer and even if I did I probably wouldn’t pay
too much attention to it”
“May we have a look inside your house. This boy has
committed multiple offences and has gotten away with each
one”
Multiple you say? Knew he was nothing but trouble and now
I’m caught in it.
“Do you have a warrant officers?” I ask crossing my arms
“Because if you don’t I have the right to not let you enter my
house”
“It’ll be quick now step aside young man,” said the female
officer.
“Or What? You gonna shoot me? Cuff me? Suffocate me? Do
all those things and get away with it?” The officer's glance at
each other.
“We thank you for your time young man. Have a good night”
The male Officer said and they turned away. I close the door
shut and lock it. That was easier than expected.
I enter the living room again with Warren without a shirt on.
“I heard the conversation there. That was good” He said
smirking. I shielded my eyes as if I was being blinded by light.
“Don’t you have any shirts to wear or something?”
“I was hoping you could lend me some of your clothes”
“Then I will never see you again in my house?” He nods and I
roll my eyes. I tell him to wait and enter my room to get clothes
that could fit his tall figure. Ah, I know exactly what to get him.
“Here you go, fresh new shirt” I say as I throw him the mickey
mouse shirt. I stay near the living room door hoping Piper nor
my ma and Dad sees this.
“It’s a bit tight but I guess it’ll do” It really was tight. The shirt
was practically hugging his muscles. I smile seeing Mickey
mouse on the front. That’ll teach him.
“Hey, uh, one more favour could you take this bag and keep it
safe”
“Why do I have to do it?”
“Well, I think that you’re the most trustworthy person I know at
the moment” He said seriously as he stared into my soul. Why
did that sentence make me feel weird?
“We only just met?”
“Exactly”
“Lucky for you, words of affirmation is my love language” I
said as a matter-of-factly. He gives me the heavy bag and I hold
its handle
“Here, take my cap and grey shirt too. Think of it as a birthday
present”
“How did you know it was my birthday”
“I didn’t. But Happy Birthday, I guess. You 16 now?”
I hum in response.
“Big year, huh? Where your life usually turns upside down and
where you experience things you haven’t before” He licks his
lower lip and his eyebrows bounce. I internally squirm.
“Yeah, like this” I said, pretending to be happy.
“If you have me around nothing Is ever boring, trust me” His
smirked seemed to grow and I began perceiving this strange
aura from him. Full of mischief intent. I didn’t like it one bit
neither did I want to be associated with it.
“That is why this is not going to happen again. I just want a
peaceful life where I don’t go to jail” I huff. He raises his hand
in surrender,
“Nothing wrong with that but you gotta admit. Everyone needs
a bit of danger in their life” I look away from his eyes and look
at the screen. Just staring at him makes me legs weak and not in
the love-Dovey way.
“Sure. Go tell that to someone who wants it. Now can you get
out.”
“Alright then. See you tomorrow, Maloon”
He proceeds to open the window and jump out into the rain
running off into the distance and way from my field of vision.
How does he know where I live? And what just happened? Did
a boy just enter my house, heck trespassed. And got me to talk
to the police and made me hide a stupid bag that could have any
illegal substance.
“Who are you talking to Eli?” Piper says behind me.
“No one, Piper”
“I knew you should've been in a mental hospital. Ma and daddy
won’t do it but if I need to, I certainly will put you in one”
“Go and fulfil your evil plans elsewhere” I said monotonously
“Aren’t you going to ask what happened to your favourite band
shirt?” She said every so sweetly. I cock my head to her.
“Piper...what did you do to it?”
“I told you I’d get you back. Don’t mess with Piper Maloon or
else you’ll get it!”
Worst Birthday ever.
4,291
 Chapter 2
“No, Xani you don’t understand, he knew where I lived and
told me to hide a backpack” I said. Like how can she not be
more frightened? This doesn’t just happen to everyone every
day you know. I even told her before school and I’m having to
explain it again at break.
“Sorry, I know it must be really scary for that to happen but my
mind is occupied” She says, fixing her hair.
I wiggle my eyebrows “With a special someone?”
“She’s supposed to be meeting with me so we can do our
presentation together. But she said I should do most of the work
since she had cheerleading practise” I hummed inquisitively.
I’m not sure I like the sound of that. Noelle joined us after
getting a snack from the canteen; she was a nice person to talk
to and had great taste in music. She had her curly hair in a bun
and was wearing a dark yellow jacket.
“Are you still on about that new guy being shirtless?”
Images of Warren’s abs began entering my mind. Wow, it was
so toned I’ve never seen anything like it. It wasn’t like the over-
the-top kind of abs it was just VERY noticeable. Although his
muscles didn’t match it.
“If I could take a picture I would but I’m not a creep” I said like
it made everything better. “Should I go to the principle? What if
he’s pulled me into the life of crime and drugs?” I grasp my
head “Oh, I don’t wanna go to jail”
Xani pulled my hands away from my head, “And you won’t Eli.
I’ll look after you, I promise. After what David to you, to all of
us. You deserved none of it”
“I never knew him but he’s a bitch that’s for sure” Noelle says
with a sour face and I smile at that.
“Uh, oh. Here comes trouble” Xani randomly said. I look back
from my shoulders and I see Shawn, a brown-haired buzzcut
Sophomore, walking over to our table. Shawn was definitely
the definition of trouble. Girls who like him always end up
hurting themselves one way or another but what was weird was
he was going for a girl who was obviously not interested in
him. Noelle is smart; she’ll know what to say to that toad.
“Hey beautiful, liking the school?” I tried so hard not to vomit
in that moment.
“Some people here stink but apart from that, it’s good” She
shrugs.
“Your experience could be better if you gave me your number”
He said, biting his lip “I don’t think you want to be hanging out
with these nobodies. Your looks are no match”
“My experience could be better if you’d leave me alone”
Shawn took a seat next to her and leaned closer to Noelle’s
face. I want to help her but what if she gets annoyed; I just need
to see how it goes.
“I like it when they reject me at first. Makes it even more fun
and challenging”
“You’re sick do you know that?” Xani said. Looks like she beat
me too.
“No one was talking to you small-eyed freak” Xani stares at the
floor, clearly lost her confidence. My eyes narrow and my lips
scrunch. That’s where he crossed the line.
“Say another word to either of us and I’ll report you. I don’t
think harassment and racism would look good in your parents’
eyes. Maybe they’ll finally disown you, I know I would”
Too mean? What am I talking about? It’s Shawn. His green
eyes quickly met my mine. I haven’t encountered a stare that
cold before.
“Watch yourself. Thinking you’re all high and mighty and can
talk to me in such a way; I could easily enslave you and your
entire family.
I laugh humourlessly “Luckily we don’t live in those days
anymore” He curses and leaves abrubtly. Well, that went better
than I thought it would.
“Thanks Eli.” I was glad to see her smilling lightly at me
“I’ll look out for you too Xani”
“Honestly, does he think I’m a prize to be won?”
“Yes” Xani and I say simultaneously.
“Just please be careful around him; you might get played”
“Oh, don’t worry I will be careful: but I’ll be the one playing
him” she said confidently. I’d be nice to see Shawn getting a
taste of his own medicine for once.
The bell then rang and I realised I had English lit. Great. 50
minutes of sitting next to the guy who basically gave me a bag
of drugs. On my way, I’m stopped by Levi who seemed to be
calling my name. Just looking at him brings back many
different emotions.
“Hey Eli, sorry for not wishing you a happy birthday, if I knew
I would’ve- “
I shake my head “No, no it’s fine. It’s my fault for not telling
you anyways” I start to walk quicker and ended the
conversation there. The less we talked, the less awkward it
would be.
“You know about yesterday can you not go and tell everyone
about what you saw. I don’t think I’m ready for the school to
about our relationship”
“Of course. I’ll respect that. See you later”
I get to English Lit before him and sit in my designated seat.
We were learning about Othello, was quite boring but easy
nonetheless. The minutes passes and the class is finally full
with Warren being the last one before the bell.
“Good morning, everyone, I would like you to answer the
retrieval questions that I’ve left on your desk. You can use your
partner for help”. I would occasionally glance at him whilst I
answered the questions. The tension was killing me, heck I was
sweating right now.
“So, where did you hide the bag” He whispers to me
“It’s my responsibility now and is none of your business”
“It’s under your bed, isn't it?”
I left my mouth open for a while and he slapped his forehead
lightly, “You know what. You’re right it is none of my
business”
“Hey, what did you mean by I’m the most trustworthy person
you know. What about your family, friends. Do you not trust
them more than a complete stranger” You can hate me for
asking these questions. People just don’t say those things.
“Look, I want to trust my family but I can’t. Probably never
will” He says looking into the distance.
“Oh I'm sorry. I really didn’t mean to pry”
“Yeah, and you’re not gonna get anything else out of me”
“Don’t think I want to. You’ve already sucked me into your
world of crime or whatever”
“If you closed your curtains and never opened the window
maybe none of this would’ve happened” Damnit he was right.
Remind me to listen to my mom from now on.
“That still doesn’t make it redeemable”
“The way you get angry” He smirks “It’s cute.”
I roll my eyes “Flattery will get you nowhere”
“You sure?” He suddenly raised his hands and Mrs Wilson
called his name. “I like what you’ve done with your hair Mrs.
It’s suits you” Mrs Wilson’s face turned red as she stroked her
long blonde hair. She always had it in a ponytail.
“Oh, thank you Warren. For that you can leave lesson 10
minutes early” she said in a sweet voice. My jaw practically hit
my desk.
“What were you saying?”
I turned my head away from him and looked out of the window,
sulking “Whatever.” My eyes ringed when I heard his deep
chuckle. Almost gave me chilis. Weird.
As two weeks elapse, I start to forget the drama with David and
the reasons why I hate him. My feeling for Levi has just
suddenly disappeared into nothingness. I was on my bed
scrolling through his Instagram feed. Few weeks ago, I would
melt at every picture of him but now...all I see is a guy who’s in
my year just showing off his body and football skills. I don’t
get the boost of adrenaline in my stomach which people
mistake with having butterflies in your stomach. A smile
doesn’t naturally come on my face; I feel nothing. What am I
saying? There’s nothing wrong with it. He has a boyfriend now,
someone who will make him feel like the most important the
person in the world, who will care for him, love him. And that
someone was my best friend: David.
I cringe as I look back at the comments I made on his posts.
How could he not see I liked him? My bedroom door opened
and Piper entered my room with an evil grin on her face. What
monstrosity has she done now?
“Mama wants you” She sang.
“I’ll be there soon, now leave Piper” I said shooing her with a
gesture.
“No, she wants you now and she didn’t look like a person you’d
keep waiting” I gulped silently and I try and remember every
bad think I’ve ever done. But those can’t make her that angry,
right? She was in the living room sitting down with her arms
crossed...with the black bag beside her.
Shit. I really messed up bad this time, of course this had to
happen. I was too naïve to not think this would happen. UGH. I
sat on the other sofa opposite her and smiled awkwardly at her.
“Hey ma, how’s your day been?”
“Don’t give me that nonsense. What is this?” She digs her hand
inside the bag and pulls a wad of cash out of it and in that
moment my eyes widen and my blood runs cold.
“I-I don’t know ma” I slowly grab an arm of the couch “I didn’t
know that would be in their ma”
“You don’t know?” She said quietly “It was under YOUR bed
and you don’t know!? Are you dealing drugs Eli? Why are you
doing this to me, to your family. What do we not provide,
huh?”
“Ma, I was keeping it for a friend and he said he’ll take it back”
A wide smile paints across her lips “So your friend is dealing?
And he’s trying to recruit you to the devil and go to jail”
“No ma, I-I'll stay away from him. I’ll give him the bag back
and I won’t be associated with him ma.” I sniff “Please, don’t
tell papa and don’t treat me differently. That’s all I ask” The
way she looked at me with absolute disgust. It reminded me of
when I came out to her.
“I want to never see this again you understand" she said with
her index finger pointing at me. I nod quickly and she hands me
the bag. I don’t dare to look inside.
I’ve always loved my ma. She’s the one who taught me how to
cook for myself when her and papa were outside. She never
hated me and always made sure I felt loved. She’s the best mom
I could ever ask for and the person I never want to disappoint.
After the events of last year, it’s made it even harder to make
her proud. And it’s no one but my fault.
-

-
Found you.
He was at his locker, exchanging books. I had the black bag in
my hand and I walk to him. The hallway we were in wasn’t
extremely crowded but there were people from all corners.
“Hey, you need to take this back” I whisper to him raising the
bag up to my head.
He aggressively snatches it off from me “What are you doing!?
Why is it in your hands out in the open?” He then slams his
locker.
“My mom found it and saw what was inside. I had to get rid of
it”
He groaned “You could’ve chosen a better place you idiot”
“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do. Like I said, I want
nothing to do with you. Take your back and never talk to me
again” I said. “I’m no criminal like you” Warren twisted my
shirt and my body met with lockers from behind. I could see
and feel eyes on both of us. So nosy. His face was extremely
close to mine, his brown eyes emitting the strange aura again.
“You don’t know the full story, alright” I nod, in fear of my
life.
“I want to hear your voice”
“Ok, I won’t” He let go of my shirt and I was finally allowed to
breath. He walks away quickly with the bag.
“What the hell happened” Xani said from behind.
“I think I broke his trust...”
“Maybe it was for the best. You did say he’s someone to watch
out for” I felt her hand on my shoulder. But he looked really
mad; and I didn’t like it at all. No. I have to think about myself
and my family. It’s good that he’s out of my life, the sooner the
better. Right?
“Let’s get to Maths before people start asking questions” I say
to Xani.
“Fine but I need to know the full story,”
She’s right. She does.
I fill her in about what happened last night with my mom and
the events that just occurred today.
“He looked pretty hurt Xani, he did once call me a trustworthy
person too”
“And he’s right” Xani sighs “Look Eli, you can’t please
everyone all the time. I learnt that a long time ago actually with
my mom. Let him go, it’s better that way” Xani was right. Of
course, she was, everything that came out of her mouth was
right. Usually. But this time, maybe letting him go is the best
for all of us but is it the best for me? What am I talking about?
I’m being selfish. These thoughts will pass, it has to.
The day went on and obviously the thoughts didn’t. Could it be
that the only reason why I want to gain his trust is because I
want to be his friend? I want him to know that I have his back,
that we can talk about anything. These past two weeks of
talking to him in English Literature has made me realise that I
like his personality, his random smirks and how annoying it can
be.
My gosh, I can’t believe I actually want to be friends with a
white boy. A WHITE boy!? My ancestors would be sick.
This is so a bad decision. Meh, no one will remember me
anyway.
After getting the things from my locker, Warren was outside the
school and was about to leave the school gates. I leave the
entrance of the school and sprint to him, when could he walk
this fast?
“Warren! Warren wait!” He could definitely hear me but chose
to continue walking. I see how it is. I ran to the in front of his
body and placed my hand his chest, effectively stopping him.
My eyebrows slowly meet in the middle “I have something to
tell you and I’m going to tell you right now and you are going
to stand here, shut up and listen” I was waiting for a response
but I remembered I told him to shut up. It lasted 5 seconds. I
take my hands away from his chests and cross my arms.
“I have a way to hide that bag” His eyebrows raise.
“When Xani, my ex-friend David and I were in the 5th grade we
found this treehouse in the middle of the Woodland Forest.
Under it there’s a deep hole that we hid stuff in and we had like
a bush to hide it under. That’s where you can put your bag” I
say. “You in?”
“Why do you want to help me? The sooner I’m out of your life
the better right?”
I hate it when my words are used against me.
“The thing is I don’t want you out of my life. I want to help
you; I want us to be friends Warren Marsh” Since this
conversation began, I’ve been trying not to look at his eyes but
instead his nose and when I did, it made my body turn cold.
“Fine, but to be my friend you have to prove it”
Proving to be someone’s friend? Wow, white boys are really
different than us.
“Uh, how?”
“I’ll tell you. But for now, let’s get rid of the bag alright?” I nod
at him “We can use my motorbike”
“You have a motorbike?” I say, clearly unamused
“I’m burrowing it for a while so yeah, it is” He smiles. I’d
never admit this out loud but I have missed seeing a ripple on
his face and his eyebrows ever so slightly raised which would
be then covered by his head on his forehead. I must say, he was
attractive. But he’s just not my type.
I followed him, and we stopped at the car park away from any
meddling and judgemental eyes. He gave me the bag to put on
my bag and wore his motorcycle helmet.
“I don’t know about this, maybe we could just walk, it isn’t that
far?” I bite my lips. My mom has told me about many
motorcycle accidents that have happened in this town. Some
died, others are still in the hospital to this day.
“Don’t tell me your afraid” I stay quiet which was its own
response “I’m like an expert of this. You’ve got nothing to
worry about”
I gasp exaggeratedly “Woah, I think all my worry has gone
over a few words”
He sent me a nonchalant expression “I don’t appreciate the
sarcasm”
“Can we get on this motorcycle so I don’t have to be on it for
longer” I complain. He agrees and finally sits on the bike with
me behind him. Xani has told me too much about this scene in
the romance books she reads. I’ve also wanted to this to
happen; but just not with a white guy. Or any other guy, just
Levi.
I wrap my hands around his chest and lay my head on his back,
my body fully tensed.
“Hold tight”
I mumble nervously and close my eyes. I hear the bike begin to
move slowly and then it sped up which made me wrap tighter
around him as I was slipping.
“Told you to hold on tight”
“Keep your eyes on the road Warren!” I Exclaim.
The wind blows through my arms, this was such a strange
experience and it felt amazing excluding the times we had to
stop because of the traffic lights of course.
“Eli, you still there?” He called out randomly.
“I’m on the verge of life and death but yes I’m still in the
physical world” I reply, still having my eyes closed.
“Well, we’re here” The bike came to a halt and I opened my
eyes. I relaxed my body and came off the bike. Looks like I’m
still in one piece. For now, at least. Warren takes off his helmet
and runs his hand through his almost brown hair, I move away
making sure I don’t get nits or something.
“Lead the way then” I thought he was warming up to me but
he’s still had his tough façade.
“How about your bike? Aren’t you going to keep driving and
I’ll show you the directions” I say pointing to the motorcycle.
He shakes his head “Nah, the person I burrowed it from said I
shouldn’t waste the fuel” I begin walking into the woods.
Luckily, the sun was still out but you could tell sunset was
arriving; the days do go fast in the winter months.
I had my hands in my coat pocket and didn’t look back once, all
I could hear was Warren’s footsteps and the wind making the
trees dance frantically. But there was no way I was going to
stay silent; this was the perfect chance to gain clarifications.
“So, Warren” I say elongating the ‘so’ “Where did you get all
that money from? Must’ve been hard work right” I wait for his
response without turning back.
“None of your business Maloon”
“Right” I whisper.
The minutes pass and we finally reach at the front of the brown
teehouse. All the memories from when I was younger came
flooding back.
“We’ve reached our destination” I say as we walk under the
house and I could see clearly the bush. I take the black bag off
and hand it to Warren so that the hole is visible for us. Inside it
was many pieces of paper and one caught my eye and so I
picked it up and read,
I love Max
“Who’s Max?” Warren says over my shoulder, I glance at him
realising how close he was to me. He didn’t seem to care.
“It’s this guy I used to like in middle school, he was an
exchange student from Egypt and damn he was attractive. He
went to another high school and we never met. There was no
chance of me getting with him since all the girls were all over
him anyway”
“Wait, your gay?” I look at him,
“Surprise” I nervously chuckle “You know that kid in our
English Lit, Levi. I kinda used to like him”
His eyes widened ever so slightly “You would stare at him a lot
to be fair”
“Does knowing I’m gay affect how you view me?” I ask softly.
I really wanted to know his opinion; it’ll tell me if what I’m
doing is actually worth it. The small silence of us staring at
each other eyes made me tremble internally. I could easily get
lost in his eyes, but I’d never say that out loud. It’d be creepy
and weird.
“I think Eli Maloon is a smart and sassy guy”
For the first time ever, I smiled at him.
“Thanks, Warren. That really means a lot” He nods “But
anyways, let’s finish so we can go home” He throws them bag
in the 4 ft hole and I place the green bush on top and alakazam.
No one will ever find it in here.
Just then, we hear a motorbike coming our way with a loud yell
from a man.
“Warren!”
“Shit, Eli go hide somewhere, now” he says in a hurry. I sprint
to hide under the stairs that led to the treehouse. I was able to
see a man in a leather jacket and shades stop his motorbike.
Warren made his way over to the strange guy.
“Who was that boy I just saw you with?” I couldn’t hear the
man well but could figure out his words.
“Just...me” I hear Warren say. And it was obviously not the full
sentence, curse you and your deep voice.
“He said to get rid of it yourself, Warren no one. If he found out
about- “
Warren raises his voice “I know alright. You just don’t have to
tell him about this one, I promise the guy won’t tell a soul”
“You trust him that much?”
“Yes, I do, more than anyone in my life” he says seriously.
I thought he was just saying that to flatter me or something. I
knew he was serious but not that serious.
“Fine. But if he gets too into our businesses, I will notify him
and he’ll....” His voice lowered and my ears disappointed me.
He’ll what? The man’s eyes turn to me hiding under the stairs
and leaves a few moments later.
“Eli, you can come out now”
“He saw me. Am I going to die?” I say leaving my spot.
“No, you’re fine don’t worry”
“You sure, cause’ he looked at me so menacingly it was
ridiculous. And that moustache was his is not it” He breaks into
a smile and still shakes his head.
“Come on, you got a family to get to” I walk beside him with
his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for doing this by the way. I’m
sorry about what happened in the hallway, tell me if I gave you
a concussion or something”
“Hey, what friends are for” He didn’t reply and look nastily at
me. He in fact looked like he was pondering on it.
Either way, I made a new friend, and a very unique one too.
 Chapter 3
It was a Thursday morning. The end of October was
approaching, and we were well into autumn, evidenced by the
countless of leaves on the pavement. Xani, Noelle and I were
on our way to school, not far away, with Noelle ranting about
Shawn and his playful antics.
“He’s driving me insane” she says, holding the sides of her
face.
“I thought you said you were gonna play him?” Xani asks. She
was enjoying seeing Noelle like this.
“I was but I can’t. He even found out and said ‘you can play the
player’ “she says imitating Shawn’s voice and I snort.
“He said he wanted me to watch him in the football match
tomorrow too”
“Imagine if he does like a big proposal of asking you to be his
girlfriend or something” Xani squeals “This is so exciting, it’s
just like in the books. Minus Shawn being a literal jerk though”
Noelle scrunched her face and buried her face in her hands.
Being Shawn’s victim is never easy. Tell that to Rosie who left
5 months after being in this school from none other than guess
who?
Shawn Cain-Garcia.
Even as a sophomore he’s rather popular and is known by
almost everyone in the school. No thanks to his father who
helps sustain this town. Like, imagine if Shawn began helping
sustaining the town; I'd be Armageddon. I even shiver at the
thought.
We saw the school gates near us and two girls walk to us
giggling, one of them being Xani’s crush Sophie. I must say she
was pretty. Long wavy brunette hair, although she had few
spots on her cheeks her green viridian eyes made up for it. And
she was tall too. I could tell Xani wasn’t expecting her crush to
talk to her.
“Hey, Eli. My friend Ruby wanted to ask you something”
Sophie said, her red-headed friend who was more on the
chubbier side, giggled again and her face turned red.
“Since you and Warren are somewhat friends” She rolled her
eyes discreetly. My face turned sorrowful “I was wondering if
you could ask him to come to my Halloween party. It’s after
school on a Friday” She did know Halloween was a week away,
right?
Glancing at Noelle and Xani I say “Will my friends and I be
able to come to?”
“Oh yeah, whatever. Just make sure your costume is Halloween
themed, alright” Ruby said with a big vibrant fake smile on her
face. Ugh, I hated fake bitches like her. Honestly, what did we
ever do to them? Does she really think she’s above us in some
way?
“I’ll ask him, I guess we’ll be there too”
“Hey Xani, how is uh my biology homework going?” Sophie
said, turning to the timid girl.
“I’ve nearly finished. It should be done by Monday I promise”
Xani says as she holds on to the straps of her backpack
“Thanks as always honey pop” Sophie says lightly and they
both leave walking past the school gates and on to the school
grounds still giggling away. Girls. Therefore I never get
attracted to them.
“Ok...so we're going to a party now?” Noelle asks.
I shrug “Guess so.” Xani didn’t speak for the remainder of the
walk. Probably daydreaming about what happened, she is so in
love it pains me.
-

-
-
I come into English Literature. It was the afternoon and on
Thursdays I had it 5th Period.
“Everyone, I have your tests graded and I will be handing them
out now” Mrs Wilson said when she saw that all the students in
her class had arrived. Oh, I can’t wait! English Lit was like the
subject I excelled easily in. Maths on the other hand...that’s a
different story right there.
Mrs Wilson got to Warren and I’s desk and I quickly looked at
the top left of the paper.
“I got an A+. No way!” I exclaimed.
“Keep your voice down Eli. But I’m very proud, one of the best
in your year” Mrs Wilson said and I couldn't believe my ears.
Did that woman just compliment me? Please tell me my mind
isn’t playing tricks on me.
“Nice, I got B- “Warren said, smirking.
“Also because of my help” I say placing my hand on my chest.
“Thanks for doing the bare minimum”
Wow.
“Oh, shut up” I push him playfully and he only slightly rocks to
the left.
“No, you shut up” I feel the force of his hand only pushing me
and my chair to tilt and fall and my body collides with the
window.
I hear a small gasp of concern “Oh shit you, ok?” I stay leaning
on the window and laugh. I didn’t expect it but it's still funny.
He pulls my chair back to its regular place and my body
follows.
“Didn’t mean to push you that hard but you kinda deserved it
from being too cocky”
“Me cocky? Never” I say flipping my non-existent long hair to
the side. I’m so gay. And I’m proud of it. Warren takes a look
at his test again and my eyes meets with Levi’s. I reluctantly
give him a thumbs up. He didn’t look happy. He responds with
a thumbs down and shows me his grade. I had to squint since he
was the first row whilst I was on the third.
A D?
Knowing his parents, they are not gonna like that grade one bit
‘Sorry’ I mouthed.
‘It’s fine’ He mouthed back and turned around to face the front
again. Oh, how I wish I could help him somehow. When he was
sat next to me, he was getting really good grades. Not because
he was copying me but because he always asked me something
he didn’t get. He never asks Mrs Wilson anything; he says it’s
embarrassing.
“Oh, by the way, do you know about the Halloween party
happening tomorrow night?” I asked Warren and his head
turned to me.
“Yeah, a few of the guys in the basketball team told me”
I furrow my eyebrows.
“Since when were you in the basketball team?”
“Since last week. But I’m on the bench for most of the games
since like I started later and didn’t really try-out. And probably
cause’ I’m only in the 10th grade”
“Well, when you’re in a game tell me so I can come and
support you” I say nudging his shoulders. Thankfully he didn’t
nudge me back and send me flying again.
He chuckled “You don’t need to. It’ll probably never happen
anyways”
“Uh, no. Thinking pessimistically means you’re signing up for
something pessimistic to happen”
“Literally no one has said that”
“Well now I have and you’ll see it on one of those websites” I
lift my arms in the air like something was supposed to appear
“Thinking pessimistically means you’re signing up for
something pessimistic to happen – Eli Maloon. Can you see it?”
I say smiling widely.
He shakes his head whilst laughing quietly “You’re one heck of
a person you are”
I nod multiple times “I don’t get that a lot”
“Ok, I’ve had enough of you two speaking! Can’t you see I
have a lesson to teach, don’t make you give you two a
detention. And instead, you’ll only be able to look at each other
and keep you mouths shut!” Mrs Wilson said and my eyes
widened in surprise.
“Sorry Mrs. I started the conversation” I admit.
She sighs deeply “Look, I’m happy you guys are getting along
but there’s a time and a place and it just isn’t now” Warren and
I nod simultaneously. Mine was more rigid and stiff though.
Seemed like he couldn’t give two flying potato fries.
“Who’s she to tell me what to do. If I want to talk to you I will,
simple” As soon as he finished his sentence. I could feel the
strange tension around him, I haven’t felt it in weeks. Every
time I felt it, it just reminded me that he was someone not to
trifle with. Even I experienced it. What am I thinking? He’s
harmless, wouldn’t hurt an insect. Right?
The lesson went on and we moved on to a poem. Chemistry
was boring as always but I still had to listen. As I said goodbye
to Xani and Noelle, I opened my gate and my parents rushed
out of the front door.
“What happened?” I ask, concerned.
“We got a call from the school about Piper throwing a rock at a
young boy- “
“Mama! He deserved it” She moaned. My mom turned to her
sharply,
“Not another word from you missy. Come on Eli, you’re
coming too” They enter the car and I reluctantly get inside the
back. I was told by my mom to do Piper’s seatbelt since she
struggled with it at times and despised asking for help because
of her growing ego. I put mine on and my father began driving
off quickly. He had his stoned expression as always, and hardly
looked at Piper.
I couldn’t help but smirk at her. The little meanie finally got
herself into trouble.
“You’re in trouble” I sing, leaning closer to her “And I can’t
wait for you to get the silent treatment from ma” She had her
arm crossed and stared at the window. The eleven-year-old was
obviously in a mood.
My father parked his car and Piper guided us to the principal's
office. She opens the door that had the name Principal Terry in
golden. There stood three people, one bald man on a chair, two
parents and a blonde-haired boy.
“I’m so glad you could make it Mr and Mrs Maloon” Principal
Terry said with open arms. I stood in the corner of the room
waiting for everything to unfold. Now thinking about it, I
wonder what the boy did to provoke Piper, she doesn’t throw
stones at people for fun; no matter how callously evil she may
be. I regained my focus, after blocking all noise out.
“Perhaps it’s just a misunderstanding but I think Piper realising
what she’s done and apologizing is the best for both of us”
Terry says, smiling widely. The boy’s parents give the principal
a sly look but don’t say anything.
“Piper, what do you say to Charlie?” Ma asks softly to her. The
girl walks over to him,
“I’m sorry to say this but I hope you experience a slow and
painful death” Gasps escaped from everyone’s mouth accept
mine.
“She doesn’t care Principal. Expel the bitch!” The scrawny
mom said.
My father moves forward, “Don’t you ever call my daughter a
bitch!”
“Do you want to tell them or should I?” Piper threatens. Charlie
stays quiet. “Mama, daddy. Charlie was trying to touch me at
break, he specifically went for my butt and breasts and said he
couldn’t wait for it to grow. I didn’t like it. I told Mrs
Whitehead but she said I shouldn’t fuss, so I threw a stone at
his head. Hopefully it re-arranged how you think about women”
What.
“You did what to her?” I say lowly. Charlie’s green eyes
timidly meet mine,
“I-I was dared. It’s a joke Piper” Even his parents were
shocked. Piper hid behind her father, my ma stayed quiet and
stared at the floor.
“So that gives you the right?! Without her consent too?”
“Look Mr Maloon, I’m sorry for not hearing her side of the
story” I wanted the principal to just shut up right then and there.
And whoever Mrs Whitehead is needs to reconsider getting a
new job.
“I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you Piper I really
am. How about we consider a punishment together for him”
Piper nods her at Terry, and covered her body with her arms.
“Ma?” I called as I touched her shoulders “You, okay?”
“I don’t expect it at this age. I couldn’t do anything to stop it
and I can’t do anything to change it” What was she saying? Did
something happen to her too? Is she just speaking gibberish?
She’s so secretive and doesn’t even allow anyone in her life to
the point where I shouldn’t bother.
We were told by Terry to come back for another meeting but it
would only be the parents. This was serious and they weren’t
going to let it fly past their heads. I had a few more opinions to
say but I decided to keep them. On the way back home, I held
Piper in my arms and she didn’t pull away.
“I know we hate each other and stuff but just know, your older
brother is here. And I’ll listen to everything you say and
support you”
“I could say the same for you. You kept it so hidden last year
and pushed almost everyone out of your lives, you shouldn’t do
that anymore” My mood changed quickly as the memories
rushed back and made me nauseous. I hate thinking about it, I
was dumb and not in the right state of mind, and I will never let
them dictate me again.
“I hate you so much”
“Same”

-
I wear my blue and orange Jersey and ripped blue jeans. I take
my plain, white sneakers that I drew a star and my name on
because I found it cute and personalised. Drawing on shoes
gives me so much euphoria to let out my artistic side. I look at
my origami’s that stood on the top of the drawer at the left
corner of my room. I had made tons of different origamis
ranging from little stars to a dragon. My mom said I couldn’t
keep the dragon because she feared them. I said to her it wasn’t
real at all. She didn’t listen. I puffed my hair up with a comb
and was ready to go. I had my phone in my pocket and my
wallet in the other just in case we got something to eat before
the big party.
Obviously, the dress code for the party was Halloween themed
but I don’t celebrate or like Halloween, so I am not going to
wear a skeleton costume or whatever. No one can tell me
otherwise and if they do.
Hopefully they don’t.
Walking to school again was weird by myself. Xani and Noelle
said they already left and couldn’t wait for me. The game has
probably started though, I don’t like football nor do I know the
rules on how to play but if people yell that’s when I know
we’ve got a try or whatever. I hum a song all the way there, I
hear the voices of chatter as I get to the school gates.
“Eli! Eli!” Xani called, they were near the exit of the seats and I
hurriedly came up the bleachers apologising to all the people’s
foot I stood on. I sat next to Xani and we hugged each other
tightly and Noelle and I kissed one another’s cheeks. Having
girls as friends will always be the best thing ever.
The players’ face was on game mode. Honestly, just for
running with a ball. Talk about being desperate. “So, Noelle.
Has Shawn done anything yet?”
“He’s only winked at me twice but I feel like there’s a bigger
picture in store” she said, clearly uneased. I buried my hands in
my pockets feeling the intense cold. I watch Levi grab the ball
from a pass and sprints forward. I forgot how fast he was.
Months ago, I’d wonder, what did I do wrong? Why, after
everything I’ve done for him, has he never caught feelings for
me? Was I ugly? Maybe. All in all, wouldn't it be nice if he was
my high school sweetheart because truth be told he is the
perfect boyfriend.
The crowd roars and I realise he scored triumphantly! Putting
us in the lead against The Sharks.
32 – 30
The game becomes cat and mouse with our opponents doing
anything to gain the ball. To illegal high tackles and pushing
our teammates who didn’t have the ball. Noelle and I were
surprised by how the referee did nothing. Below, the
cheerleaders did all they could to raise our spirits with chants.
Sophie was a part of them and Xani kept looking at her.
“Did you see that!?” She said, squeezing my arm like it was a
toothpaste with hardly anything inside “She just did a back
handspring. She’s so perfect” she finally let's go of me and I
pretend to brush it off. Sophie turns to look at us and I could tell
she was staring right back at Xani. She gave the skinny girl a
bright smile revealing her pearly white teeth and turned back.
What was that about? I plugged my ears with my fingers
waiting for Xani to scream. Instead, she took a deep breath and
watched the game. I place my hand on top of hers.
She was so adorable.
Noelle had been eating the whole way through and mostly
scrolled through her social media and kept on forcing us to take
group pictures for her Insta. Luckily for her, I looked my best
tonight, obviously not to impress anyone.
Time flies and the game finally ended with us as victory. Not
surprising. People begin to grab their bags and stand from their
seats. The whole team suddenly then huddles in a group in front
of our bleacher holding a big sign.
“Noelle!” Shawn called out.
I glance at her and her eyes widened. The sign was finally
turned and I already knew what it was going to say.
“Noelle Mccleave, will you be my girlfriend?” Small whispers
broke out between everyone who heard the question. The place
was silent and I could even feel the tension and the anticipation
of Noelle’s response.
“No, I won’t.”
“Did she just turn down Shawn?” Said a girl.
“Who does she think she is?” Whispered another.
“What the hell, is she brain dead?”
Shawn’s face slowly changed; his once hopeful smile became a
frown. Wow, he actually looked disappointed. I slapped my
mouth, trying not to laugh. Maybe if he wasn’t such an idiot,
he’d a make a good actor.
“But, if you ask me nicely, I’ll go on a date with you” The
football team yell at her reply.
“Noelle, can I please take you out to somewhere amazing”
“Yes, you may” Shawn fist bumped the air and his teammates
cheered him on. Ugh, boys. “Can we get out of here; we’ve got
a party to get to remember” she said as we leave the bleacher. I
make eye contact with Levi for a little while before breaking it
off, after all, he was looking at me first.
We enter a diner located near the school. Noelle had the address
of the party, and she said she needed to change into her
costume. She leaves to go to the girls bathroom leaving Xani
and I by ourselves.
“Don’t you have something to get changed to?” Asked Xani.
“No, I don’t like Halloween so I’m just going to go like this” I
shrug. Xani sighs,
“I knew you’d do this, so I brought an extra costume for you”
she says, taking a whole new attire from her bag.
“What costume is this?”
“Wear and find out”
“You know, you didn’t have to do this”
“I know but I did. Because my best friend makes silly mistakes
and sometimes doesn’t know how to fix it himself, he knows
what did was wrong and selfish of him but those silly mistakes
led him to learning from it and makes him a better man than he
was before”
“This best friend must be really beautiful then”
“He just has a lot of confidence” She smiles. With the costume
in my hand, she leaves as well and I go to the male’s bathroom
to change. I enter inside a toilet and lock it.
Minutes later I wash my hands and look in the mirror.
She gave me a pirate costume!?
I turn my body and look at the back. I must say the pirate hat
does have a nice umph to it. A tap begins to run and I jump
seeing David.
“Oh God, you scared me” I say, like I was out of breath.
He doesn’t reply. It was only us two, for once. I haven’t spoken
a word to him for nearly two months. Our relationship before
had a weird foundation a fight was bound to break out. But
what he did to me was worth it.
“So, are you going to the party too?”
“What party?” He said monotonously.
“It’s a Halloween party, Xani, Noelle and I are almost ready to
go. I was thinking that- “
“Xani? Willingly wanting to go to a party? And you? Wearing a
Halloween costume which you specifically said you’d never
wear”
I glance at the square tiles on the floor “People change, David.
Whether it’s a big change or a subtle one”
“You’re right. Have fun at the shitty party, whilst I hang out
with my boyfriend” He leaves not before barging my shoulder.
After the conversation I realised David and I were never meant
to be friends. He knew that; but I didn’t.
Shaking my head, I meet up with my friends sitting on a table.
Noelle dressed up as Harley Quinn and straightened her hair
into a double ponytail. Xani was Supergirl and damn she looked
hot in it.
“You two look sizzling right now. How am I friends with two
hot girls? I don’t know” Before either of them could reply, a tall
and dark man who looked around my age came to us.
“Can we just have those spicy fries we keep hearing about” I
say to him. He had dark skin, a nose ring piercing and short
Locs. He was definitely my type.
“Coming right up” He responds. I bite my lips suggestively as
he turns away.
“Someone’s thirsty” Noelle says to me.
“I’m 16 now, I gotta get some action”
Like someone once told me,
It’s the year where I experience things I haven’t before.
 Chapter 4
Here we are. Standing in front of average looking house. For
some reason I was expecting a large mansion. I forgot that only
happened in movies and tv shows. Teens were scattered around
in the front garden which was bigger than my front and back
garden combined. All wearing different Halloween themed
costumes. We gained a few stares from them but only for a
while. Could they say that we’ve never been to a proper high
school party before? The garden gate was wide open, and we let
ourselves through.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this” Xani said, clearly containing
her excitement. “And a whole 3-4 hours with Sophie”
“3-4? I don’t know if I can survive that long” I sigh. What was I
supposed to do? Drink till I get drunk or play peer pong, dance
to the music or just awkwardly stand against a wall. I should’ve
planned what I was going to do.
“I’ve been to some parties in my lifetime actually so you guys
can follow me, if you want” Noelle comments. As we get to the
open-door Shawn suddenly pops up,
“Looks like she came after all” he said. I grimaced when he
started touching Noelle’s hair “You look so sexy, come on, I
got things waiting in store”
I despise the tall idiot. He takes her away into the kitchen
probably to get her drunk. I would go look after her but
Noelle’s a smart girl.
“I see Sophie I gotta go, bye!”
“Xani- don’t leave me here by myself. Shit” I take a deep
breath and find a sofa that’s empty. Why am I here? Just to
experience things people my age is doing? I’m not the type of
person to want to grow up quickly or be on the latest trend but
I’m really starting to feel the sudden pressure of having
memorable teenage years. Maybe it’s for the best, maybe-
“Hey Eli” Levi says sitting down next to me with a red solo cup
in his hands. “How are...things going?”
I nod “Everything’s going perfectly fine” I look at his doctor
costume and try not to smile. He soon catches on.
“What? Is the fake blood too extra?”
“Not at all. I just wouldn’t expect you to be wearing a killer
surgeon of all things”
“I could say the same thing; Jack Sparrow” he says, taking a
quick glance of me.
I raise my index finger “Actually I wasn’t going to wear
anything but a friend encouraged me”
“You weren’t going to wear anything, huh?” His eyebrows lift
and I could sense his playfulness in his tone of voice. Past me,
would’ve found it extremely attractive. I think it just made him
more of a friend.
“Keep you dirty thoughts away from me” I shield his eyes with
my hands for a moment and he pushes me away.
“I never knew you were like this” he said with a smile
comfortably on his lips and his head tilted to the left.
I narrow my eyes and whisper “I think you know why”
“How long?” He began “How long did you uh like me for?”
The answer was unknown for me. How I would describe it
would be a tide. There would be a few weeks where my life
would completely revolve around him and every single word,
he said to me and there would be a time where I could tell he
didn’t like me and so I lost feelings and retreated. But the signs
he randomly gave me like spasms made me pull right back to
land.
“You could say for the whole of freshman year. But it wasn’t
for like the full duration my feelings for you would just come
and go”
“I get it. So do you still like me now?”
“No, first you’re taken and second, I knew we were never going
to get together from the beginning anyway. I don’t want that to
affect our friendship though”
“I’m sorry you’ve felt that way. I guess my feelings for David
clouded almost everything in my life but now that we’re
together” He paused, like he was really thinking about what he
was going to say “I don’t know it feels so surreal”
“You guys are cute; do you know that”
“He isn’t he” he said softly and made me extremely jealous of
what they had. How he spoke about David made me register
their love for each other and that I can’t wait to find my own.
“, I was wondering if you could tutor me. For the new English
Lit exam maybe”
Me? Tutoring Levi? Telling him what to do and telling him off
if he gets things wrong.
“My parents said they’d be finding one, but I told them about
you and how ridiculously smart you are” I look at him after he
said that. I would’ve never have thought almost-footbal star
Levi would talk about me in a conversation with his parents. I
know who they are as they are extremely popular around this
part of the town, but it makes me feel warm inside to know that
and not romantically. I haven’t felt it before.
“You have?” I said more softly than intended.
He gave me a sudden toothy grin “Course, Eli Monroe is one of
the smartest people I know. In all seriousness though, will you
tutor me?” My response didn’t come out straight away and I
looked away from his gaze
“I’ll pay you too, since I know how much you can help” I turn
my gaze back to him. That does changes everything, doesn’t it?
It’ll be like a little side hustle.
I smiled “Yeah I can tutor you Levi, state when and what you
need work on” I rose my hands in surrender “But I must say I
might be a little strict so be a good student alright?” He
chuckled and re-positioned himself on the couch to make
himself more comfortable.
“Maybe every Saturday 2pm? Until my grades start becoming
better a consistent so the sessions should take us up to spring
break maybe?” He spoke. All I could do is agree and nod.
Helping a friend out is a nice reward; getting money whilst
doing that is heaven.
“Thanks Eli, I gotta go now, my friends must be wondering
where I am” he said as he stood up.
“That’s completely fine, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” He
smirked one more time before walking back the way he came. I
stare at my hands and think about the conversation I just had,
although with the loud chatters and the sudden burst of music it
wasn’t that easy. I needed to get out of here, the air was awfully
tainted.
I leave the house and find a bench in the garden unoccupied. A
few teens were in little groups in the garden holding a few
drinks and having a chat. I don’t know where my friends are,
but they are probably having more fun than I am.
My legs were crossed over one another getting lost in
memories.
“Was looking for you” A familiar deep voice sucked me back
to reality; I look to my right and Warren sits beside me leaving
a little space between our bodies, not that I was paying attention
it.
“Hey Warren” I don’t look at him but at the chopped grass.
“What’s up with you? Did someone insult you? Called you
anything mean?” I don’t know why I was feeling this suddenly,
probably a change in mood. I heard you get it a lot in your
teenage years.
“Did someone tell you that I am undeniably in love with you
and your personality, and I wish you’d feel the same way”
Wait What?
I quickly turn my head to him, my eyebrows fully glued
together. Seconds later, he abruptly laughed. I roll my eyes.
“Finally got your attention”
“I’m gay, you can’t do that, I’ll end up falling for you then”
When he stopped laughing, he said, “Sorry then, I wanted to
talk about things with you that’s all” I take a deep breath and
turned my body to him looking directly at his face.
“Yes Warren? You have my full undivided attention”
“Alright, well I kinda got sucked off by Ruby”
My mouth was left slightly open “She gave you a pickler?”
“Pickler? Who says that?”
I wave my hands frantically in front of his face “That doesn’t
matter, why are you telling me this?”
“Because I trust you?” He said slowly.
A little too much trust it seems. I exhaled deeply and calmed
myself which took longer than it should’ve,
“How did it feel?” I felt slimy.
“It wasn’t my first one, but she was a bit shit”
It’s happened multiple times? For some reason I didn’t like that,
people have done it to him, girls have done it. And I haven’t
done it to no one. Why do I feel behind in life right now? I
know I shouldn’t be pressured by the expectations of what
teenagers should do in this stage of the life, but I want to
experience it too. It’s also the fact He didn’t like what Ruby
gave him. What if I’m not good for the guy I like? What if he
breaks up with me because of my low-quality picklers? Sweat
produced on my back but I was still able to keep my face
normal. Hopefully.
“But she tried her best, didn’t she?”
“I don’t think so she was a bit too quick, and I had to do most
of the work and- “He paused suddenly “Shit.”
I look around, nothing looked out of place. “What? Aren’t you
going to continue?”
“Look Eli don’t take it as a checklist alright. It’s from my
experience yours is going to be great. Now give me a smile” He
softly grabs my jaw and I try to escape it myself, but he tightens
his grip
“Oi, give me a smile” I frown.
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine Warren”
“I’ll know if you’re fine if you smile for me” I felt stares
around, but they weren’t intense. More like glances at us. Still
doesn’t make me feel better “If you focus on me, they’ll be just
a blur” I listen to him and stare at his face, his perfect jaw, his
messy fringe, and his open chest. My lips casually turn upright.
“That’s what I like to see on those plump lips” He said, and I
slapped his hand away from my jaw laughing, “Shut up,
weirdo”
My eyes turn to the door, and I see Xani and Noelle come out.
The girl with the glasses had waterfalls. I leave Warren without
saying anything and meet up with them, concerned with what
happened to Xani.
“Xani, please tell me this is an allergic reaction”
“It is. S-Sophie called me the-the slur Eli in front of-of the
popular kids”
My eyes widened “She wouldn’t” I said lowly.
“She did, I was there and told her to fuck the right off. Can’t
believe she’d say such a thing” Noelle added, with her arm
around Xani’s shoulder tightly.
“Let’s get out of here please! I’m already embarrassing myself”
She said. Noelle and I managed to hide her from prying eyes
away. That was until Warren pulled me back,
“Hey, what happened?” He asked glancing at me and then my
friends multiple times.
“Let’s just say Xani isn’t feeling too good. I must call my dad
to pick us up. Maybe he won’t undeniably ground me for a
month”
“If I could I’d take you all to the motorbike I have”
A small smile popped on my face.
“Thank you, kind sir, I have to get going now, have a good
night Warren” I race back to my friends not looking back. I
whip my phone out to call my dad.
“Yeah, dad can you pick us up from this address”
“Yes I know it’s night-”
“Ok maybe I am but I need to get picked up. Please”
I sigh at the punishment “Fine, be quick please”
He hangs up first.
“I did nothing wrong, I just wanted to speak to her” Xani said
talking to Noelle.
“My dad is coming to pick us up, he can individually drop you
guys off where you want”
“Thanks Eli”
“Your dad hates parties; won’t he ban for like a month” Xani
correctly stated. I really wished she was wrong. With the
incident that happened with Iper, he’s even more on edge. It’s
my fault for being so selfish.
“You don’t deserve to be walking to your house right now” I
said. We waited on the pavement looking all directions for my
dad’s car. Between the wait, I asked Noelle about how her night
was, she played darts with Shawn with him winning and he
tried to kiss her multiple times which she avoided.
“Sounds like him” I said whilst Xani was leaning on my
shoulder.
“He said the date’s tomorrow at 6 and he wants us to go to a
super fancy restaurant and I don’t like it” she said staring at the
ground, holding herself “What was I thinking? I should’ve said
no from the start” She shook head.
“Maybe you can change him into not being the biggest prick.
It’ll do us all a favour”
“I’ll just see it through and if he’s really into me maybe we can
actually be in a relationship” I Stared at her like she was crazy.
Shawn? In a healthy relationship? Without hurting you in any
shape or form?
You’re delusional. I wanted to say. But for her to learn she
needs to experience it; she won’t listen to me anyway.
“If you need us, we’ll be there to smack him in the head when-
I mean if he hurts you” I said with my arms slightly crossed.
“Thanks Eli.”
There was suddenly a large beep as a black car halt in front of
us. Finally. I thought I was going to freeze. I bring Xani to the
front of the car and open the door for her and Noelle and I get
in the back passenger seats. I could sense my father’s intense
stare on me. I made sure not to look at him throughout the
journey.
The time passed and my friends went to their own homes. Xani
said she was ok to walk to her house by herself. I was sceptical
but she seemed determined. My father and I stopped in front of
our house and the silence between the both of us was too much
to bear.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about you guys when I was at the
party. I didn’t drink at all though. And no illegal activity”
“Go, sleep”
I nodded and left the car quickly. After I came out to my
parents, my father didn’t take it very well. After he stopped
yelling at me and reprimanding me about what I have ‘became’,
he just stopped talking to me. He wouldn’t have a conversation
with me heck he wouldn’t look at me. My ma must have said
something to him to make sure he didn’t do anything reckless to
me. And whilst that was happening, I was experiencing
something else that I haven’t been able to talk about for a long
time.
My dad talks to me. In little chunks. It’s been 10 months so at
least he’s started to return to normal. But I never will.
-

-
My eyes fluttered open by small bangs coming from my
bedroom window. Why at Saturday morning would someone
ruin my sleep? I felt hungover, and that’s just me being
dramatic. I slowly wiggled out of my bed whilst holding my
duvet and to my window to see what was happening in my
garden.
I had to squint to make sure I knew who the person was. I open
the window,
“Warren!?” I shrieked. I’ve seen everything haven’t I? What is
this white boy doing to my window early in the morning? And
is that a purple eye he has?
“Took you long enough! Open the door I need your help” he
said with a gloomy face on.
The things I do.
“Give me 2 minutes!”
“Why? Are you naked?” He asked “I won’t mind”
“Watch your mouth, Warren!” I close the door and close the
curtain. I was naked because my body deserves the air it needs
with the clothes it wears every day. I put on a blue sweater and
black shorts. I leave my room to quietly open the door,
everyone was asleep, and I need to it stay that way.
Imagine my parents knowing about the party and then the next
day bringing a white guy into the house. That’s my coffin
registered.
“Hey” he said deeply.
“I don’t have all day for ‘hey’ get your ass inside” I said, my
nose scrunched. I push him forward into my house and close
the door.
“I was trying to be nice” He frowned. With the hallway light
on, I could see his purple eye very clearly. It wasn’t bulging.
Maybe slightly. But it wasn’t too bad to look at.
“Do you have anything that can help it, not hurt?” I told him to
follow me, and I made him sit in a chair in the dining room
whilst I went to the freezer to get something nice and frozen.
“Here, it should ease the pain but don’t think it’ll make your
purple bruise magically disappear” I told him, and he nodded
looking up at me
“Could you do it for me?” He asked and lifted his hands up
both also badly bruised. I tilt my head looking at them
carefully. What could he have done to create this much
damage? I knew he related to darker things, but it can’t be this
dark.
“I got into like a fight, and I won but the guy was strong” He
explained quickly. I slowly put pressure on his eye with the
small pack of peas. “Warren, Warren, Warren, you need to take
better care of yourself”
He rolled his eyes, “You sound like my sister”
“I’m glad you have two female figures in your life then” I
replied.
“They can be the best but sometimes I kinda want them run
over by a truck”
I chuckled “Same with my sister the little demon, I’m too
embarrassed to say that I get bullied by her”
“That is pretty funny- ow" I put more pressure on his eye as he
said that “Ok, ok sorry” He whispered.
I hummed with a smile on my face and eased the pressure. A
long pause finally came, I was waiting for it. I moved on from
his eye and to his left hand.
“Sorry for my bad morning breath, I should’ve brushed my
teeth before this”
“I don’t think it’s that bad” His hand was extremely cold, and it
felt lifeless contrasting with my warm ones. “Thanks for doing
this by the way, when it happened, I knew you could help me
somehow” He had a comfortable smile on his lips, and it just
became wider, and I had no choice but to stare at his eyes for a
prolonged time. Those dark pupils I hated staring at but
couldn’t get enough of.
“What friends are for,”
“Actually” He suddenly said, “Maybe you could show your
friend your room” His eyebrows were raised, and lips parted. I
gave it a long hard think.
“What are you up to?” I asked suspiciously, my eyes naturally
narrowed.
“I just want to see, that’s all” He smiled sheepishly. It caught
me off guard and I let go of my tensed face.
“Fine. But you have to hold the ice pack yourself for a bit” He
took it away from my hand and stood up and made me realise
that he was 3 feet taller than me. Not that I cared.
“Follow where I go” I instructed. We left the dining room and
quietly went up the stairs. I made sure we stayed at the side as
there were many squeaky bits in the middle of the steps. It took
me some time to notice that.
My bedroom was on the far left, next to the bathroom
unfortunately. I can’t believe piper got her own bedroom when
she was 9, and I got mine at 13. You see how unfair that is?
Away from my head, I open my door,
“Welcome to my room” I said monotonously.
“Woah what are those?” He asked, staring at the origami's
hanging on the ceiling. Looking at him in that moment was
both weird and nice. I have seen him happy but not this happy,
he’s always had a brooding character.
“It’s part of my origami collection” I close the door behind me.
“They are all different objects and the rainbow one is my
favourite. It’s signifying me in a way, I guess. Around people
who are not completely the same as me” He must be bored
already from hearing me pour out my analysis on this.
“I like that, just shows how smart you are. And to make all of
this” He looks at me with a warm smile, his eyes flickering to
different parts of my face. He opens his mouth, but nothing
comes out immediately “I don’t know, it’s great” He shrugs
lightly
“I’m glad you like it. I thought you’d find it useless and boring
or something”
“It was made by you, I’d never”
Alright calm down. You’re making my face turn hot from these
compliments. I usually don’t get them.
“Thanks Warren, you oversized oaf” I had to bring an insult to
balance everything out.
Just then, I hear a door open from outside my bedroom. Judging
by Warren’s confused face he could hear it too.
“Eli” My mom called out.
I move him next to the door and where hopefully he wouldn’t
be seen. I’m not in the mood to die today.
“Eli, I heard voices. Who are you talking to” Her eyes were
barely open; she definitely just woke up.
“Oh no, I was just talking to my friend, early in the morning. At
6 something. Nothing special” I said smiling with my teeth
together.
“Since you are awake, do your chores” she said with a pointed
finger, one of the biggest reasons why I hated Saturdays in this
household.
“I’m going to tutor Levi today” I began “It’ll be only like 2 to 3
hours at 2” My mom knew him since she knew Levi’s mom.
They were good friends and loved to bring our families
together. With me not liking him anymore, I wonder how
thanksgiving is going to go.
“Make sure to tutor him well, ok Eli?” I nod. She leaves slowly
and I hear the bathroom door open, it was easy to distiniguish
that since it always creaked. I exhale deeply when she leaves. I
can live another day.
“She’s a bit scary isn’t she” Warren whispered.
“If she found you, she would become a whole new entity” I
wasn’t exaggerating. I cross my arms, if it weren’t for him
coming here none of this would happen so it was now time for
the milliondollar question.
“How did you get into that fight? When I left it was around 9 or
10 ish. Did you even get sleep today” His face turned sour; I
didn’t care.
“Look I can’t tell you alright? It’s for your own safety?”
My eyes widened in shock “Safety Warren? Is that what this is?
I have dragged myself to hide that backpack for you and I saw a
creepy dude who has seen my face and could easily hurt me or
something” I blink a few times. I have a right to be like this.
His head tilts, “Your one of the good things in my life right
now Eli. Involving you in my shit will ruin that” I was surprised
his voice kept quiet and soft. By now it should be loud.
“What are you involved in because sooner or later it’ll bite both
of us in the ass”
“Not if I can help it. I know I can’t have a relationship with
someone, but I can still have friends. And I want to keep you”
“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to my family and
friends and you. It’s not every day your friend has a very bad
eye” I sit on the side of my bed, and I see him sit next to me.
Leaving a small space between us.
“I came here because I wanted to. For you to help me, and you
did. At the same time, I’m really making sure you’re not
involved”
He was right. I’d do the same thing If I’m honest. I made a
choice in being his friend and so I’m going to stick with it.
I look at him “Not trying to be rude but I think you should go
before we both get killed. Keep the pack on your eye especially
and it should naturally go”
“I’m glad we have a week off school though, it should be
healed by then”
“I’ll walk you out” I say. Can’t believe I have chores to do after
all this.
Life is so unfair.
He turned around and suddenly said,
“Could you give me your number?”
 Chapter 5
“We never got to ask how your tutor session went with Levi”
Noelle asks through my screen. I was in a group face time call
with my girlfriends talking about life and anything that came up
on our minds. Well, it was mostly Noelle and I talking. Xani
occasionally had one liners. She was still pretty broken up and
had to keep it to herself since her parents don’t know about her
being gay. So therefore no one to support her at home. Her
friends are here for her.
“I could feel the awkwardness in the air at the beginning but we
both started loosening up. We did what he was struggling with
which was mostly the themes. He talked about how well his
football is going and wants to try and be quarterback next year,
and yeah it was good” I say on my bed.
Noelle was cooking now but still replied “I’m glad you guys are
still friends. With the whole David thing I thought he’d freeze
you out”
“Levi’s not like that. I’m so annoyed he’s wasting his time on
David, because simply the betrayer doesn’t deserve him. And
that’s on what?”
“Periodt.”
The conversation ended on a good note.
“Xani?” I cautiously called out “You still there” She had her
camera off.
“Yeah, I’m just crying into my octopus plushie”
“You need to get over that flop. She degraded you, and you
have the audacity to cry because of her?”
“Eli, you know how much I like her!”
“She clearly doesn’t like you Xani. There are plenty of fish-
olinas in the sea”
“But I want her and only her” She sniffs “My mom is calling;
I’ll see you guys later” And off she went.
“Omelette?” Noelle said. It did look rather scrumptious.
With a sigh I decline “No thanks”
“How long has Xani liked Sophie anyway?” She asks. I scoff at
the question,
“Long enough” I said “4 years”
“I get why she’s so distraught, the person you’ve liked for so
long does that. I’d be in pieces if it were me” I get what she
meant, I couldn’t relate to Xani. Not the fact that she had a
different sexuality than me, but she’s been obsessed with
Sophie since the 6th grade. I don’t know what made her still like
Sophie after 3 years, most people would just loose interest but
not Xani. She also chooses to continue books to the end even if
she doesn’t like the beginning, which everyone can find weird.
“Whatever she does I’ll stick by her; I may not agree with every
choice she chooses but all we can do is be there when she need
it, you know?”
My bedroom door opens, “Dinners ready” Piper called out and
left soon after.
“I need to go and eat now, talk to you soon?” I say, Noelle was
fine with it, and I cut the face time call.
I head to the dining room; everyone is already there and
praying. I sit on the last empty chair, and I could feel my mouth
water when I saw what food my mom has cooked up.
Piri Piri chicken jollof and malva pudding.
Oh wow, I’ve never seen such a delicate, appetizing cuisine
before. They all open their eyes, and I saw my mom jump a
little.
“Let’s eat shall we” she said. I didn’t want to gobble the food
down quickly or it would look suspicious. I don’t want them on
my tail again. I hear a small noise from my phone hidden inside
my pocket. No one reacted to the noise, so I whipped it out.
Renny typing...
It said on snapchat.
This better be good Warren. I went on the app and waited for
his slow ass.
Wyd?
Really. What am I doing? That’s the thing you wanted to ask
when I’m about to eat food from heaven itself? He’s seen that I
opened it, I can’t ghost him now.
“Sorry my leg itches” I said to everyone as I stuck my head
under the table to text him back
Eating at the mo, u?
It’s basic respect to ask back.
30 seconds passed and he was still typing. I can’t be under the
table scratching the same leg for 30 seconds.
Just on my bed watching Netflix. Could really use some
company rn
I bang my head on the table as soon as I saw the message and I
knew I was caught
“Eli! What is going on down there?” My mom asked sharply.
“Nothing ma, everything’s good” I try my hardest to block any
groans that came out of my mouth. I hide my phone by sitting
on it and got back to the same position in the beginning. What
the hell was that? Did he really need to tell me about that last
bit? Is he-
“Why are you not eating your food” My mom said gesturing to
the two plates in front of me full of food. “Eli” She said lowly
“What is it now?”
“Nothing ma,” I shake my head
“You’ve said that the other times too” Piper added, piping her
way into the conversation.
I look at both with my face scrunched “I was just scratching my
ankle, jeez people”
“Who scratches their ankle for 35 seconds though?”
“Zip it, you whale”
“Says the woolly mammoth” She replied like it was a fact.
“Let us stop it and eat. I spend time on this” I nod at my mom’s
request and glance at my father, who had almost finished his
food. He’d do this all the time, let mom solve the fights. Yet, it
contrasts with what I’ve been hearing at night lately.
And no, not in the way you think.

The autumn break passed more quicker than I wished and then I
realised school. I made it inside my homeroom, fortunately I
was able to sit next to Noelle. Unfortunately, Shawn was in the
same class.
“What you drawing?” I asked the curly haired girl.
“Just a dress to make, I love making them especially when I get
to wear them” She has vaguely said something about liking
designing. I look around the room and I see Sophie and Ruby
walking to me. Again. The comforting fact was I disliked them
both now.
“Hey Eli, my friend Ruby wanted to ask you something”
Sophie said. I managed not to roll my eyes.
“Could you ask Warren what his dream date would be? I’ve
been wanting to ask him out since our...” Her cheeks grow red
“Very intimate time at the party” I feel wrinkles grow on my
forehead and my mouth starts to produce more saliva than
usual. My mind wanders into pictures of what they were doing,
and it disgusts me. No, I really hated it.
“Sure, I can ask, but this is the last one, ok? Before I start
insulting you too” I take a glimpse of Sophie’s worried look.
Yeah, you better look worried. They leave and go back to their
seats.
Where is the goddamn teacher. He is always late; how does he
keep his job? Now, I must do something for a girl like I'm an
owl. November isn’t going great, is it? Mr Constance finally
enters the room; I could tell most of everyone’s eyes was on his
ass. He was known for having the biggest one as a male
teacher. But I couldn’t disagree with everyone; it was quite
shocking.
“Sorry for the tardiness, I had to take my cat to the vet really
quickly” He apologized sitting on his designated chair. The
number of other excuses he made for being late started
becoming more and more unbelievable.
Traffic.
Car broke down.
Had a long shower.
Had to feed his fish
Forgot to kiss dog goodbye.
Couldn’t stop hugging his rabbit.
You get the theme. Being a teacher takes a long chunk of your
life, having lots of pets doesn’t help whatsoever.
After the many minutes in that room, I went to my first lesson
of Monday. Which was always English Lit. We were still
learning about Othello made my William Shakespeare, the guy
everyone wished he didn’t exist but to be fair his writings and
speech are easy to interpret, and it gets me a good grade on at
least one subject. I’m currently failing Maths and Biology is
sure to follow.
I take my seat; Warren was surprisingly already there. We
locked eyes and a small smile rose on his face which meant I
had to smile back.
“Your eye looks brand new” I noticed.
“Thanks to you.”
“It’s common knowledge really” I said lifting my head.
“I’m not as smart as you though or sassy”
I found that offensive “sassy? How am I sassy, honestly” The
word doesn’t sit right with me, it makes me seem mean like
when those girls in movies are titled the ‘sassy girls. I like to
call myself realistic.
“You never slouch, and you strut. A lot" He randomly looked
up and down at me with a smirk
“Alright class, shut up now” Miss Wilson snarled. Once again,
she was wearing something yellow. A yellow sunflower shirt
and light-yellow jacket and yellow boots. Whilst most of the
students had either grey or black on. One day, I’ll speak my
mind to her and what I think about the abomination she has on.
I’m not against yellow.
But if she’s wearing it, it’s an insult.
“Miss I’m loving the yellow” Warren called out. I gave me an
intense side eye. He was laid back on his chair, arms crossed.
Now realising, had a high nose bridge. From the front, it looked
flawless. I saw Levi turn his head to our desk and I could swear
he rolled his eyes.
“Thank you, Warren,” My attention went back to Miss Wilson
who was once again swooning over one of Warren’s
compliments.
As we got into the lesson, we did a few analysing of the next
chapter, different methods the old man used and had people
read. One of them was me because my pronunciation was the
best by far.
Luckily Kyle didn’t read.
He always raised his hand to do so, and we all knew what
torture we were gonna go through.
“Hey” I whispered to the dirty blonde “What would you like on
your dream date. If you had to choose?” This was obviously not
the best time but when would be.
He looked to the side, like he was pondering, he then looked
back at him with his dark brown eyes “Why are you asking
me?”
“No reason” I quickly said.
“Uhm, well somewhere quiet. Not a lot of people. Somewhere
we could hear both our voices even if it was just a whisper.
Have ice cream probably and just talk I guess”
Wow. I’d never knew someone like him would like that. Says a
lot about him, doesn’t it? I liked that.
“That sounds like a dream alright, maybe it’ll come true in a
couple of days and- “I was cut off by a bang by Miss Wilson.
“I have had it. You two repeatedly speaking when I am, and not
learning from it! I have given you both the benefit of the doubt,
so don’t you call me unfair. Detention today. Let’s see how you
like it when you can look at each other but not talk”
“Detention? Today? Teachers can’t do that” Wrinkles formed
on my eyebrows, and I left my mouth open.
“I can do all I want Mr Maloon”
Just wait till my mom hears about this. She won’t let me hear
the end of it. First the party, the whole thing with Xani and
Sophie, the whole thing with David making feel like a piece of
shit and having to love his and Levi’s relationship and now
having my first ever detention? This never happened in
Freshman year. It was quiet, talk to friends, do my work and
then homework sleep eat and repeat.
I stayed quiet for the full lesson, and I could still feel the tense
air around the room. Warren also seemed to not speak to me,
but I didn’t bother looking at him.
I’m probably overreacting but I have my reasons.
-

-
Break happened after Biology and went to the same table I
usually went to in the courtyard. The first thing I noticed was
Shawn’s friends awfully near our table. They were usually far
away. I didn’t think much of it to begin with and started doing
my math homework as I had it next. I can’t imagine someone
having to do math at home, thinking about numbers and
Pythagoras in the own comfort of your house never heard of it.
Xani threw herself on the seat next to me as if she ran a
marathon.
“I wanna go home, Eli” She droned on.
“Before that, can you help me with my math homework”
She stopped laying on the table and took my pen and homework
sheet away from me. “I wanted you to help not do it for me
Xani”
“I’ll annotate the things you need to remember” I didn’t
disagree with what she said and shrugged my shoulders.
“Hey friends,” Noelle said. Her hair was in a curly bun, she had
a black sweater on and a beige skirt that had a belt on. If I
wasn’t gay, I’d probably find her romantically attractive. I
found out a long time ago I wasn’t bisexual. I wish I was; they
seem to have it easier than us gay people. Before she sat down,
I saw her eyes glance to Shawn.
“You took your time this morning” I said raising my eyebrows.
“I wanted to look good today, I don’t know why” She replied,
hiding her smile with her mouth. I had my suspicions on why.
“Whatever the reason is, you look great”
She whacks the air, “Oh, stop it before I start turning red”
And just three tables away, Shawn Cain Garcia couldn’t stop
staring at her. “Your date is kind of eyeing you hard” She turns
her head. He then smirked widely, and I had the strange feeling
to vomit. I don’t know how some gay people can like people
like him.
“He wanted me to be on his table for break and lunch” she said,
turning back to me.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I obviously declined because here will always be the
best and why would I want to be around obnoxious
cheerleaders and rude football players”
“Especially when one of them hurt you” Xani randomly said to
us.
I think she’s getting over Sophie. She’s stopped defending her
so that’s a plus.
“Unless she realises how much she likes you and sincerely
apologizes and stops hanging out with her friends. We won’t
forgive her” Noelle said. I agreed with every bit she said.
Our conversations went from talking about animals, to school
to me suddenly. “What is with you and Warren, I hardly see
you two hangout” Xani questioned.
“We just talk a lot in English Lit that’s all and that might have
gotten us a detention today”
Xani’s eyes widened “A detention? Eli, you don’t get
detentions. Not a single teacher hates you”
“But it’s Miss Wilson. I hate her.”
“What’s with the fuss, detention isn’t that bad. I got it twice in
my old school last year” I stare at Noelle.
“Did you stab someone?”
“Hide a body?” Xani joined.
“Steal a teachers chalk pen?”
“What? No? Are you guys, ok? It was for not doing my
homework twice in a row”
Xani and I look at each other and back at her “Oh” We both
say.
“It’s not as bad as you think. Eli, trust me you will be fine. You
have to stay quiet anyways”
Yeah, that’s a good thing. Maybe it won’t be as scary as my
mother describes it. Her african heavy voice entered my mind.
The time when I was 14, about to have my first day of High
school.
“If you are not careful, they will take your fingers, eat them and
sell them. My sister sister son said how he almost lost his head
in detention. If you ever get one just know, your life will
change forever”
I think I’m ready.
-

I lock my locker; I pull my bag over my shoulders and start

walking to the Mrs Wilson’s English room. I heard that how it
worked, but Mrs Wilson wouldn’t be doing the detention but
someone else. The English rooms were on the opposite side of
the building to my locker so that gave me lots of prep time yet
at the same time I didn’t want to be late.
I make my way past the corners, the students and the mean
girls. I then saw Levi and David both laughing as they walked
down the same corridor as me, I couldn’t help but stare until
Levi caught me. Shit.
“Hey, Eli, you ok? You look a bit shaken up” Levi called out.
Stopping all three of us in the middle of the hallway. David had
a bored look on his face and shoved his hands in his jean
pockets.
“I’m good there’s nothing to worry about trust me” I reply
nodding a couple times.
“Come on, let’s go, our ice cream won’t wait forever” David
nudges Levi and he immediately smiles “You will get your ice
cream don’t worry” His head moves to my face again,
“See you on Saturday. The two tutor sessions have made
Shakespeare's work feel like the easiest thing” David pulls him
forward much to his dismay.
“He tutors you?” David whispered, fortunately I was able to
hear.
“Yeah, he’s so good. I don’t know how he...” They were too far
for me to hear the last bits of Levi’s sentence. It’d be nice to
know what he said. Onwards I go to detention though.
I finally get there and open the door. The room had students
scattered around the classroom and the teacher in front was Mr
Mickey. A man with a receding hairline and had the uper body
of an oval shape. All eyes were on me, and I tense my jaw.
“Name and grade?” The teacher croaked.
“Eli Maloon, 10th grade”
“First detention?” He asked.
I nod.
“Get a seat and we’ll start the drowning people when everyone
arrives” He cackled loudly before coughing. Drowning? I
listened to him and went for the one closest to the door. It was
Sarah Hills seat.
All I need to do is just stay quiet. For a whole hour. Can you
even read a book here? Judging by the intense stare I got from
Mr Mickey the answer was a no.
10 minutes in, Warren came in and I could feel my whole body
soften again. It was nice to see a friendly face. He came to sit
next to me, and I thought we had to be nowhere near each other.
“Pick somewhere else to sit young man” Mr Mickey said.
He shrugs, unfazed “I’d rather stay here actually. It’s not like
we can communicate or anything” The old man didn’t respond.
I was glad he was next to me. Made having detention a little
less unbearable.
Outside, rain drips down on the windows. The gentle but
rushing sound was almost hypnotizing. The window had a good
view on the lines and rows of houses that went on for miles and
miles. The place I lived in had no shops near it; just more and
more houses. I guess it was the housing quarter of our town.
This was torture. I’d rather be doing maths right now and you
know that when I’m bored. Mr Mickey was scribbling on the
board about why we are here and how we can improve. I don’t
need to improve; this is the best version of me. No more
bullying, I can stick up for myself and my friends, and I have
no reason to worry about myself and its content.
“I forgot how boring detention was” Warren whispered to me.
“Do you know how I feel?” I whispered back and he laughs
under his breath with an amusing smile on his face. I stare at
the clock above Mr Mickey’s almost vanished hair; Noelle has
told me not to stare at it since it doesn’t help the time go any
faster. I watch the rain again and keep my eyes on it.
Time moved excruciatingly slow to the point I was
daydreaming about leaving detention and being in the own
comfort of my bed. And after my mind drifted off to David.
That skank. He has caused me so much drama. Sometimes I
wish that I never went to look for him that day. If he was able
to hide it for so many months, he must’ve been able to hide it
for much more without me knowing. Every time I see him, I
divert my eyes elsewhere. I know one day it’s all going to blow
up. I’m just hoping it's not soon.
“Alright you two can go,” Mr Mickey announced to my desk.
Warren and I glance at each other, both confused, maybe I’m
daydreaming this.
“Why sir?” I ask, standing straight on my chair.
“There’s only 10 minutes left and you two have been the
quietest” He began “Unlike other people” Warren stood up and
I reluctantly followed grabbing my bag. He suddenly went
another left when I went forward since it was the quickest way
to the exit. I didn’t want to follow him and continued my path.
I stopped right before opening the doors to outside, listening to
the rain drumming on the roof like its life depended on it. I
nonetheless open the door and wear my coat to protect my
clothes and hair.
“You were going out wearing that coat?” A deep voice said
behind me. I whip my head around; he had small smile on his
face and held a black large umbrella. My coat wasn’t made
from the heaviest material, and it wasn’t made for this kind of
rain.
“Come on, you can go under my umbrella. It was made for
more than one person” He suggested, bring the umbrella over
my head. I didn’t respond and we began to walk out of school
grounds and into the streets of houses, it was quiet here. In the
summer, thousands of kids would be out and about.
“So, what was with the question in English Lit about the dream
date thing?” He asked. My eyes glued to the glossy ground, “I
can’t believe I asked. Ruby the girl from the part wanted to
know, she really likes you Warren” I shook my head slowly as I
explained. It took a few moments for him to respond, obviously
taking it in.
“I did tell her that we shouldn’t get attached after what
happened at the party but...” He trailed “I did say we could keep
on doing it in the future” I then look at him, bewildered.
“Like booty calls?” The rain starts to drop heavily. “I thought
you didn’t like them?”
“I may not, but I can continue. There’s nothing wrong with
that” He shrugs. I let a small huff “I guess not” There was a not
a single conversation for a while, the silence wasn’t awkward or
unbearable. But, there was something about it that made me
uneasy. Or maybe it’s just in my head.
“I got a basketball game next week and this time I’ll be
playing” He said.
I raise my eyebrows “You will?” My mouth moulds itself in a
smile when he nods “Congratz you idiot. I thought you said last
month that’d never happen” I said, purposely moving closer to
his face. He lightly pushes me away,
“Yeah, yeah whatever. If I’m honest, your quote really helped.
Every practise I’d have it in my head”
“Wait you mean - “Thinking pessimistically means you’re
signing up for something pessimistic to happen? That one?”
“Yeah!” He said lively.
“I didn’t know you’d remember it. I was just doing it as a joke”
My mouth began to hurt from smiling so wide, the sound of the
rain lowered in heaviness, but I didn’t care about that right now.
“Thanks to your quote, I’m playing”
“I hate it when I smile too much” I bury my face in my hands
and massage it and move my cheeks around.
“You did also say to ask you to come and watch too”
I think back to the conversation “Oh yeah, I did, didn’t I? Either
way I was going to”
“Good.”
We came nearer and nearer to my house, and he stopped
walking. “I don’t go this way” he said. It was still raining, not
as heavy as the detention though. Our bodies faced each other, I
looked in his eyes, the colour of dirt and gold mixed. His lips
pink and wide and his hair just above his brown eyebrows.
“Oh, ok. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then” I said softly.
“Here take it” He replied, moving the umbrella handle closer to
me.
“No, it’s fine I’m really close to my house. You need it more”
“I don’t want you to catch a cold”
“I’m not going to. It’s your umbrella”
“No, I took it from a classroom” He admitted nonchalantly.
I blink at him “You stole it from a teacher?”
“I didn’t steal it. I only burrowed it. It’s nothing too extreme
that I haven’t handled” I rolled my eyes and took the umbrella.
“Thanks, I suppose”
We said our goodbyes and he walked off in the distance an
before I continued my walk, I saw his head turn around to me
and I could see him flash a smile and when I thought that was
the end, he gave me a small wave which I returned. He passes a
corner and leaves my sight.

What the hell was that? Friends obviously look back at each
other and wave, right? He's obviously being nice, stop
interpreting in different ways like you always do.

Clearing my throat, I leave my place and walk to the direction

of my house with one person still on my mind.

Warren.
 Chapter 6
I’ve always despised biology.

For one reason which was the simple fact that I was bad at it. I
never get in A in this subject only B’s and C’s and once I got a
D. That was not a good day. Today’s biology lesson was boring
and tedious. As always. That was until a paper ball fell on my
book. Mrs Gerkin was too busy writing on the board to notice a
ball being thrown.

I unwrap the paper and read a message on it.

Eli I really need to speak to you, I want to explain myself

- Sophie

Sophie!? What does that bitch want? I glance around the room,
and I see her already looking at me with pleading eyes. It would
be rude to ignore her especially when she’s in the same room as
me. I’m obviously not going to agree with anything she has to
say though? 5 minutes left and Mrs Gerkin told us to pack up,
today was just to prepare us for the test we had coming up. I
could already guess mine.

Not very good.

And of course, during this pack up Sophie makes her way to my

seat.

“You saw my note?” She said, flickering between me and the

floor.

Judging by my bored expression she didn’t need a response.

“I’m sorry for hurting Xani like that- “

“Yeah, you should be, she wouldn’t speak to us because of it” I

interrupted.

Her eyebrows knitted together, “I’m sorry I really am but I

want to tell you it from my perspective”

“What perspective? You calling her slur and not receiving it?” I
crossed my arms I’m unimpressed right now. I continiously
bounced my leg waiting for her to respond

“No, what happened before, you can’t only take her side
without knowing mine first. Noelle won’t talk to me; David
doesn’t hang out with you guys anymore and you know I can’t
talk to Xani. You are my last chance, Eli. Please, after the bell
hear me out”

I scrunched my lips and my eyebrows. I had multiple emotions

surging through me and all wanted to do different things. The
main one was telling her to fuck the right off. I took a deep
breathe, I’ll always be on Xani’s side no matter what she says.

But. It wouldn’t hurt anyone if I did and besides, Sophie has

been nothing but nice and kind to everyone. She even lends me
a pen from time to time, so it is quite unexpected what she said.

“Fine, I’ll hear you” I decided.

She brple into a vibrant smile “Thank you for wanting to hear
me out. Finally,” She goes back to her seat she was happy but
not too happy to be jumping around.

“You are dismissed” Mrs Gerkin said as the bell rang. I stepped
into the long and narrow hallway and was immediately grabbed
by a hand. I went with it and found myself into a janitor's room.
Well, it smelled like one at least. The light flashed on, and I
groaned.

“Way to make something so dramatic” I said to Sophie, her legs

crossed and hands between her back.

“When I saw her, I greeted her and asked if she was enjoying
the party. She replied with a yes and confessed about not
knowing what to do at parties, so I offered to help and told her
to follow” Oh, alright we are going straight into it.
“Then we got invited to a game of spin the bottle by none other
than Shawn” I rolled my eyes a his name “I wanted to say no
but he kept on taunting Xani to play, and she said yes soon
after” Sophie messed with her sweater as she continued

“Shawn kissed Layla. Jhon kissed Sheila, and Max kissed me. It
was my turn to spin it and well, it landed on Xani and- “

“And so, you procced to insult her?” I said. What’s the point in
continuing? And am I supposed to feel bad for her because I’m
not.

“No, a few weeks back Shawn purposely called me out on

being a Lesbian to our friends. And said how I’d love it more
wet or something” She said, having a sour face “He knew how
much my parents hated Lesbians and what they would do if
their only and perfect child was one. When the bottle landed on
Xani I immediately looked at Shawn who had a massive smirk
and glare on. He was going to tell my parents about this Eli, I
had no other choice”

“You could’ve easily just left instead of hurting her feelings”

“But wouldn’t that hurt her more?”

I stay quiet.

Her voice started to shake, and her eyes narrowed in sorrow "I
was doing it to protect myself, I just don’t know what’s worse.
The fact that Shawn was going to snitch on me or the fact that
he was right” I look at her softly after that sentence.
“I’m sorry for what I said. I feared what my parents would say,
what they would do. They’d be so ashamed of me. Do you
know how hard it is to know that I’ll never be normal”

Girl.

“I’m gay remember? I have that thought every day. Luckily my

parents had the matureness to put it aside and still love their
son” She shakes her head,

“I don’t know about mine” She said, “But I wanted to apologise

to Xani because what I did was awful, do you think she’ll
forgive me?”

“It’ll take time. That’s for sure”

She nods “Thanks for listening again. I wasn’t sure I was going
to tell you about me liking girls.”

“Me neither. I thought you were the straight cheerleading

who’d find themselves a jock boyfriend” I said honestly.

“I wanted that too, now I’m going to stick out whenever I go

somewhere”

“That isn’t a bad thing” I replied, lying to myself.

“We really need to get going before we’re late for our classes
though” My eyebrows raise as she said that. There’s no way
I’m getting another detention.

“See ya!” I say as I leave the room. I learnt more about her
today, her actions are not excused but at least it’s another step
for her. I wish I could pour out my own feelings to someone
last year. Almost cost me. Dearly.

That same day after school. My friends and I went to the mall. I
had been saving up for today so I could unleash all my
expenses on food and clothes. We eventually came to a cosy-
looking shop that was trying to go for a woodsy theme. Judging
by the woody tables and floor. I wonder what they sell.

We went to find a table near a large window, showing a view of

most of the mall. We were on the third floor after all.
Noelle and I head to the counter while Xani stay behind. I look
at their menu; they sell a lot of different things, huh? Cupcakes,
cakes, smoothies, burgers, fries lots of confectionary and wine.
The smoothies caught my attention.
“Could I have a tropical smoothie please?” I asked the young
man working there. I gave him the money needed and went to
wait for my order. I wait for Noelle but my eyes drift to the
entrance of the shop and Shawn walks in. With his other usual
friends, Max, Jack, Jhon and Levi. What the hell were they
doing here? I’m not saying they are, but I thought they were too
privileged to be in a shop like this.
I unconsciously sent him an icy glare, his friends sat one table
away from Xani and my stomach started to feel funny. I walk
closer to Noelle and whisper to her,
“Looks like we got trouble”
“Yeah, I saw them too” she said, her face slightly scrunched.
“We’ll just pretend they’re not here” I nod.
A minute passes and my smoothie is ready. I take a sip as I got
back to my table and of course Shawn’s group had to look at
me.
“Hey Eli” Levi said with a small smile.
I clear my throat “Hey” I replied dismissively. I didn’t want to
talk to him with Shawn sitting next to him. Xani was on her
phone as I sat next to her.
“What’s up?”
“Sophie apologized to me today and I don’t know how to feel
about it, Eli” She answered.
I’m glad she kept her word but I’m not going to make it any
easier for Sophie. It’s something she must do on her own.
I know Xani, she must have thought zooming through her head
right now.
“Spill your thoughts to me”
She sighs before beginning. “I’m happy that she apologized
because she acknowledges what she’s done but I don’t just
want an apology from her Is that a bad thing?” She looked at
me.
“I don’t think so, you trusted her, and she broke that trust. Take
all the time you need to forgive her, trust is earned. If she
doesn’t like it, then you shouldn’t trust her at all” I was
probably making no sense.
“Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Eli”
“Always”
A moment later, Noelle returns with her burger and fries and at
the same time I could feel multiple eyes on us. How I know? It
doesn’t need an explanation. I tried ignoring it and only wanted
to spend time with my friends.
“Wait- you’ve never seen a vending machine before.” She said
in disbelief.
I playfully roll my eyes at Noelle “We have them in school
silly. I just haven’t bought or used one before that’s all” It
wasn’t that much of a deal.
“Today is your lucky day then, there’s one near the counter”
Xani said to me with her eyebrows raised. I turn myself around,
how come I didn’t see that walking in? I had little money left in
my wallet surely it would be able to buy something there. I left
the table to experience something I haven’t before.
Interacting with a vending machine. The variation of drinks,
and chips. Which one could I choose? I hadn’t realised how
long I stood there staring until a voice spoke to me from behind.
“Trying to decide what to get?” Levi asked. He moved to stand
beside me, he had one hand in his jean pocket and the other
brushing his curly hair.
“I know what to get now but the thing is, I don’t know how to
put the money in or even how it works” I sheepishly smiled
avoiding his gaze.
“For once, you don’t know something I know” he said. I gave
him the money,
“I want the Takis” I answered. He chose a random button. Why
that of all the other ones? And in one swoop, the Takis fell to
the bottom of the vending machine ready for Levi to grab it.
“Here”
“Thanks Levi, I may not know how you did it but at least I have
some Takis” I said, I glance over to Shawn who was staring
hard at us “Did you know you’d be here?”
He shook his head. “I think Shawn kinda is obsessed with your
friend Noelle”
Oh really? I didn’t know that?
I tried my best not to make a sarcastic remark “I’ve started to
notice that too” I said meeting his eye. I flash him a smile as I
leave thee vending machine and back to my seat. I only just
realised how I’ve never seen Levi angry before. It’s a weird
thought to think about but he’s always so calm and happy that
you don’t think about it. But at the same time, he has the
perfect house, parents and siblings, perfect future aspiration
and, well, perfect boyfriend.
His friend group knows he’s bisexual. He told me that. I say
that he had it easy. Bisexuals have it easy.

I reached my house an hour later; I locked the door and

immediately went to my room to lay on my bed and watch
videos and endlessly scroll on my socials. And as I did walk up
the stairs, I gained a notification.
Stay away from my boyfriend, Eli, or else - Unknown
I knew who it was from. It’d be too obvious for me to say it out
loud. I only tutor the guy why is he being such a paranoid
bitch? I don’t like Levi like that anymore; we weren’t going to
be together even if he was single anyways. He keeps bringing
me into his drama when I’m trying to stay far away from it. My
phone received another notification drifting me away from my
thoughts.
It was Warren.
Wyd?
The same question almost every day. Doesn’t he get tired of
typing this?
Just go home from the mall
And you didn’t bring me
I rolled my eyes. If I wanted you to come, I would've asked
Warren.
Gals before pals
I turn my phone off and jump on my bed landing like a star fish.
School can do a number on you, doing the same thing
repeatedly. If this year’s bad how is next year going to be like.
Ugh, me turning 17? I don’t want to think about that because by
then my mom would’ve forced me to get a job. If I was going to
choose it would probably be somewhere smoothie or ice cream
like; I like both of those, so it’ll make doing the job 20 time
easier.
I get up from my bed and throw my shoes to the side. I got
some Biology homework to get done.
-

-
I comb my hair in front of the mirror, to ensure there was
nothing sticking out. I have my purple varsity jacket on and a
pair of jeans with smile faces I drew. I stepped closer to the
mirror and looked at the noticeable pimples on my forehead.
This is where I need to make a skin care routine huh? My face
has been naturally pimple free, so I thought I didn’t need one.
Never mind that,
I got a basketball game to get to.
“Ma, I'll be back late, I’m going to support a friend at school” I
said to her in the living room.
“Not too late” Was all she said before I left the house.
I jogged to my school since I was already running a bit late.
Beauty takes time you know. I stop 10 seconds later and lean on
a wall to catch some air. Never again. I start walking again but
quicker, I wasn’t extremely far from the school, but I wasn’t
close either; it was a walking distance is all I could say. The
school doors were open, and I went straight to the sports Hall.
Eyes were suddenly upon me as I went inside to sit down. The
players were in their positions obviously about to start. I look at
Warren, near his hoop, and his eyes then lock onto mine like a
strong magnet, I blink a few times I didn’t expect him to look at
me too. And so hard too. He broke it off when the referee
blowed the whistle. The ball was thrown in the air and two
players had to fight to gain possession of it.
Marcus won the ball, and I smiled knowing we had the chance
to get a lead. The ball got passed around multiple times just for
Marcus to give two points. The audience clapped loudly more
than roared, much different to your average football game.
During the game, Warren made a few saves I didn’t know he
could jump that high, but I suppose it compensates for his
height. The other team had a tall guy probably 6’7. The tallest
in ours was Dean although he couldn’t gain much of the ball
with the 6’7 guy. If you think he’d stop us completely then you
are foolish. Height is primary way of getting success in
basketball, but it isn't the only way.
My eyes moved when the ball did, and a smile was bought on
my face every time we got it in the opponent's hoop. It was the
end of the third quarter and there was one more to go before the
end of the game. Then did I only realise Ruby sitting at the
bottom of the seats whilst I was two rows behind.
“You are doing great Warren!” She called out caught his
attention. He shot her a little wink, and I scrunched my nose.
Therefore she’s falling in love with you Warren, you are giving
her signs that nobody can ignore. I went on my phone so I
could prevent locking eyes with him again. I hardly looked at
my socials when it was time for the last 8-minute quarter.
We were down by 6 points.
Not good.
But now is not the time to be thinking pessimistically.
The whistle blows once more, and the opposing teams gains the
ball, two passes later they score a three-pointer leaving
everyone in shock. Warren fixed on me, and I nod at him
mouthing exaggeratedly
‘You got this’
Our team didn’t let the point dishearten them too much and
gained another two points. Marcus and Dean were on fire, right
now. Bit by bit they closed the gap, and our two guards stopped
our opponents from gaining other points. This is so much better
than Football.
There was 10 seconds on the clock, and we were only down by
two points. The opponents only needed one more hoop to win.
And we kind of needed a miracle. I was on the edge of my seat,
my fingernails in my mouth.
Marcus was blocked by one of the opponents and had to decide
what to do next and threw up in the air. Warren, also blocked,
ran to jump up to get it effortlessly. He had no time to waste, he
bended his knees and threw the ball.
Is it me or is everything going in slow motion?
The clock changed to Zero, but the ball was still in the air
clearly aligned with the hoop.
“YEAH!” He yelled.
He actually got it in.
The scoreboard changed and we were now one point ahead.
Whilst he gained a standing ovation, I stayed in my seat
clapping. I couldn’t be asked standing up. He had a smug face
on and was attacked by his teammates.
I was happy for him.
- -
I left the sports hall a few minutes ago just to wait outside the
door for Warren. Although he was taking his time. Maybe he
was getting a shower or something. I sighed before opening
door ever so slightly and witnessed Warren and Ruby talking to
each other in very close proximity.
I watched them but couldn’t hear them. Something prickly
poked my mind. Over and over again. I was breathing heavily,
my nose flaring from the poking They hugged, and the prickle
poked my mind once more before I left to go outside.
The poking stopped. And I calmed down.
It was probably just a one-time thing.
I was on my phone texting my mom that I should be home
soon. Minutes progress and I hear multiple voices coming out
of the school.
“I just did it,”
“Thanks to you, we got another game in winter” Another voice
said. The 4 guys all came out with Warren being one of them.
“Yeah, I’ll see you guys tomorrow”
“No worries, man” I watch the three guys move ahead of us,
well that was until Warren had his arm across my shoulder.
“So, what do you think?” He smirked.

“Of what?” I asked innocently, shoving my hands in my jacket

pocket.

"Oh come on, everyone saw it" His smirk faltered. Someone's
cocky, huh?

"If you are talking about the 3 pointer you scored which was
absolutely based on luck and fortune and was obviously a fluke,
yes I was pretty surprised" I said quickly.

His eyes squinted "Ha Ha very funny"

I nudged his shoulders "You know I'm joking, internalised fish"

I looked at him and smiled softly "No, but seriously, it was
good"

"Yeah, I'm so glad you were there to see it. And I was
defending so much- maybe you're a lucky charm" His tongue
slid across his bottom lip as he said and I rolled my eyes. I
didn't believe in lucky charms but for his sake I'll pretend I'm
all for it.

"Maybe I am maybe I'm not, either way you did it because

you're clearly good at basketball and your coach underestimates
you" I stated. His arm snaked around my shoulder.

"Course' I'm good at basketball, did a lot of it with my dad

when I was younger. Too bad him and my mom got a divorce
though" His words sent a sharp pain through my mind making
me think about my own parents. The constant bickering
between them at night is becoming unbearable. What could
they be fighting about for it to last like 2 weeks. It wasn't every
single day; the day after their bicker they would usually not
speak together or even look at each other. None of them have
addressed it to Piper and I; they better soon or I will myself and
knowing my mom she'll try her best to evade it.

"What's wrong?" The question sucked me back to reality again.

His deep voice soothing my creeping anxiety in moments.

"It's just my parents at home; arguing at night as if they get paid

for it” A huff escaped from me “I’m not going into too much
detail, I don’t want to dump you with my problems” I said
shaking my head

“You could come over at mine?” He suggested. I gazed at his

face, his eyebrows raised and lips slightly parted. I wasn’t
expecting that. And now thinking about:
“Anything to stall from going home tonight. If your family will
let me of course” And for some reason, I was hoping they’d be
fine.

“They already know who you are so it’s fine”

I cocked my head to the side whilst staring at him “They do?”

“Your name may come up one or twice, that’s all” He

shrugged, averting from my eyes and looking straight ahead. I
didn’t question it.

“Well, that’s fine”

Our journey to his house was mostly silent with only the
occasional conversations about our hobbies. Mine was arts and
crafts.

We got to his house garden, which was slightly smaller than

mine. He opened the door with his keys and the first thing I saw
was two long couches with two women sitting on one of them.

“Look who’s back from his basketball game” The youthful one
said. She had brighter hair than Warren but more pimples on
her face.

“How did it go?” The other woman asked soothingly.

“Went well Mom. I got what I wanted from it” As soon as he

finished his sentence their eyes were fixated on me. It was
surprisingly...soft.

“Who’s this fella?” The youthful one said, and Warren’s mom
smacked her shoulder.
“Don’t be rude Sheila.” She chastised before smiling at me.
“I’m Warren’s mom, Maye, and this is his sister Sheila and who
may you be young man?”

“I’m Eli. Mrs Marsh. Warren’s friend from school” I said

pointing to the boy standing next to me.

“We were going to go up to my room to hang out for a bit in

there” Warren voiced not letting his mom respond to my
introduction.

“That’s absolutely fine, you boys enjoy yourselves” She took

her mug from the table. Sheila had a cocky smile on her face
glancing between the two of us.

“Yeah, enjoy yourselves” Sheila repeated. Warren didn’t wait

another moment and he pulled me past the kitchen and to his
staircase. I was experiencing a bit of déjà vu right now. And
then did I only just realise Warren was holding my hand; well
sleeve but our skin is still touching.

I was in his room. His walls were painted dark blue. A

PlayStation set up in the top corner of his room and clothes
dropped on the floor. The lightbulb emitted blue light instead of
it normal white.

“Sorry for the mess, I’d pick them up but I kinda stink right
now” I moved to sit on the edge of his bed whilst he stayed
standing up near his door “Could you wait like 15 minutes, so I
shower?” He said with a scrunched face on.
I hummed as a response as a whipped my phone out. He left
with his door wide open, and I could only hear the television
from downstairs. I had the urge to look at his drawers and look
around his room more deeply but that’s weird for a friend to do.
If I’m being honest; I trust him.

I texted my mom telling her I'll be a bit late. I'm probably

going to be here for 30 minutes max since it's almost six.

The smell of the room was clear. Like he sprayed the place.
Maybe he does that after he leaves his house, I know I would to
avoid getting yelled at by my mother. I scrolled through many
stories and photos from friends and classmates from school, it
made my life so boring compared to theirs but at the same time
I don’t want my life to become more eventful. The roaring
sound of the shows engulf my ears and I try to counter it by
watching keeping up with the Kardashians on my phone.
Anywhere and everywhere, I will watch it.

Another 20 minutes past and in that time, I unconsciously made

myself comfortable by taking off my shoes and laying on his
bed.

“Hey” Warren’s voice said; seductively. I slowly turn my head

to the right and I see his blue towel loosely wrapped just under
his belly button. I didn’t want to look at the rest of his body. I
stopped laying on the bed and sat at the edge.

“H-hey” My eyes suddenly widened.

Shit.
Did I just stutter? I never stutter. But that’s fine for this
occasion, right? When a white boy is half naked in front of
you? I turn my hand into a fist, pulling his bed sheets into my
palm and I he chuckles.

“What’s up with you? Nervous?” He walked over to his to

black wardrobe, he looks back to me” Turn around for a
minute?”

I bury my fac in my hands “I’m not nervous I just wasn’t

expecting it that’s all”

“We’ve been friends for a while now, you know I’m all jokes” I
hear the towel fall.

“Yes, but I’m not. I’m more serious and mature than you” I
reply

“I can be mature too” I can tell he took offence to that. “I

choose not to since that’s boring. Let a guy live a little”

“I guess”

He groans “Alright, you can open your eyes now” He has a

plain black shirt and grey joggers. “So, the first thing you’re
gonna see is my excellent gaming skills, yeah?” He says his
face brightening. He sits on his gaming chair and sets up his
PlayStation. I’m not surprised he has this; it sounds like him at
least.

The first game he showed me was Overwatch. Which he was

decent at and then moved on to Watch dogs and Watch dogs
too. He only occasionally let me play it since he didn’t want me
ruining anything, but it was nice to see this passion from him.
Made him seem less scary you could say. The last thing was
NBA 2K22, a basketball game.

"And bosh!” He exclaimed getting another point for his team. I

was bending down next to his chair watching him play the
game awfully well. “My friends and I play this game all the
time; you should come. There’s always food and drinks” he
said invitingly. I glanced at his face and our eyes meet for a few
seconds. His pink lips slightly curled up and I realised how
close I really was to him, and I backed away.

Hanging out with full on straight guys? Don’t think I can

handle the toxic masculinity. There’s a reason why I like girls
as friends better.

But for some reason I said, “Yeah happy to. Just text me and
I’ll be there” He didn’t say anything as he was so invested in
the game, he must’ve heard it due to the small nod he did.

“Slam dunk!”

I scoff “Too bad you can’t play like that in real life”

He paused the game.

“What?” He said looking at me.

“Too bad -

“Did you just say?” His voice went awfully low, and I backed
away. When he jerked out of his chair I quickly headed to the
door, but he beat me to it closing it tightly only to pull me on
his bed. His hands locking my own in place.

“No, no, no get off me Warren!” I said, smiling.

“I got you right where I want” He smirked. Wide. I stopped

moving my head and stared at his brown eyes, his head
hovering above mine. His smirk dropped and his lips parted, his
breath slowing down and in the same rhythm as mine.

And before I knew it. His door opened.

“What’s going on here?” Warren practically hopped off me to

stand upright again. It was his sister, Sheila who had both an
amused and shocked face.

“What do you want Sheila” The dirty blonde deadpanned.

“So, this is how you treat your guest little brother?” She gives
me a once over and turns back to Warren “I can’t say I’m
surprised”

What does that supposed to mean?

“Oh, shut up, you have a different guy every week” he said,
clenching his jaw after.

“We’re not talking about me Warren. Maybe we should tell

your friend about the other girls from- “

“Fuck off Sheila!” He sharply interrupted. Shelia smiled with

her head in an angle; she waved at me and left the doorway.
He huffed and took a seat on his bed. I sit upright and cleared
my throat.

“Sorry about that” His voice returned to its deep and soft
demeanour “remember when I said I sometimes wished she got
hit by a truck”

I hummed.

“I lied, wish it was all the time”

“You’re just pissed. That’s fine” I said to him “I need to get

going anyways. My mom’s probably worried or something”
“Do you have to?” He looked at me like a kid who didn’t get
any presents for presents.
“Yeah, sorry. I enjoyed this though, I really did” I got my shoes
on and left the room to head downstairs. Warren’s mom was in
the kitchen sweeping the floor.
“Going home?” She chimed.
“Yes. Thanks for the welcoming stay, Mrs Marsh”
“Thank you for coming to my son’s life”
Is that a usual reply in white households?
“Oh, uh, I don’t know what you mean?” I asked, my eyes
narrowed.
“He’s always coming to school and doing his homework and
trust me it’s a miracle. Whatever you're doing to my son, keep
it up I suppose”
I listened to her sweet voice carefully and my gaze on her
became lighter. She wasn’t lying. He did have good attendance.
“I’m just being myself” I shrugged, not knowing what else to
say.
“Well than he really must love it” She gave me a toothy grin. I
stood there thinking about what she said. I took a deep breath
before leaving. Did all those things just happen? I know I’ll
never tell anybody but that was my best day yet.
 Chapter 7
And that night I was right. At exactly 11: 34 pm, I heard the
loud voices from their room. They were so happy a few months
back. Right? I was on my bed, the lights turned off and, on my
back, looking at my origamis that weren't very noticeable at the
moment. I slowly turned my head when Piper opened my door,
her lips tight and eyebrows furrowed.

"They're too loud" She said, "I can't even sleep" I gestured her
to get inside and she quickly jumped on my bed. Sighing, I
moved to get her most of the space. Our backs faced each other.
She left the door open, and their voices grew in volume.

"What are they fighting about" Her timid voice started,

contrasting with my parents.
"I don't know Pipes. I just hope it's not about us though" I
murmured. This wasn't their first, you could say 'Rodeo'. It
happened last year too when-

"Are you doing ok? Is something happening in school again?"

Everything suddenly became muffled.

The yelling.

The raindrops smacking on the window.

And the beating of my heart louder than a thousand fireworks.

Of course she had to ask that. Why wouldn't she? Because the
only reason they will ever fight, they will ever complain, they
will ever think they're a nuisance.
Is me.
I collect myself by taking a deep breath.

"No, nothing's happening at school, it's all happy day s, no

drama just fun" of course I had to lie. I wouldn't tell my sister
about losing a best friend who talks shit about me behind my
back. It's not that big of deal. Everyone goes through it.
"Are you sure, you took a long time to respond"

"Yes everything's fine Piper" I said, raising my voice. "Get

some rest. Or at least try to"
She didn't respond and so I closed my eyes. Trying to think of
something good to sleep with, like a thought.
Warren uninvitingly popped in my head. Get out my head
Warren. My mind then began playing moments we had together
just hours ago. I shook my head lightly. Think of something
else. Think, think think. The moment when Warren was on top
of me, his muscles tensed attempting to keep my hands at bay.
But then, Warren leaned closer to me and our lips were about to
touch and that's when I snapped.
I stopped lying on my bed and sat on it like I resurrected.

"What the hell Eli?" Piper said.

"You are totally right Piper" I swallowed a large spit.

"What. The. Hell"
-

-
The next day was Thursday. And God I hated Thursdays. So
irrelevant. I meet up with my friends and we walked to school
as usual. Noelle was glued to her phone due to the large amount
of notifications she was getting.

"Is that Shawn or something?" I asked peering over her

shoulder.

"He wants me to go to his house on Saturday to hangout and of

course I have questions. Many."

"Never knew I would see the day that I'd be friends with
someone associated with the devil" Xani said, joining the
conversation.
"I'm willing to be with him to change the ways he view people"
She said it way too confidently to be lying.

I scoffed "G'luck with that" Noelle gave me an intense stare and

I cleared my throat "And we will support you every step of the
way"

"Great!"

I looked on my phone as I had my own notification. It was from

Remmy. Not now, please not now. I still opened the message
though.

Had a good nights sleep?

"Why are your eyes twitching?" Xani suddenly asked me. They
were?
"Oh, uh no reason" I sent her s half hearted smile.

It was great slept like a baby

"I don't believe you" Xani egged on.

"Look Xani, in going through the 5 stages of grief right now so
it'd be appreciated if you left me alone"

She blinked and went closer to Noelle.

"And I thought my mood swings were bad" She whispered to

her.

I don't want to be thinking about kissing a white boy? I don't

want to think about him at all, I want him out of my life in fact!
Out!

We get into school grounds and immediately I see Warren in

the corner of my vision talking to his friends.

"Oi! Eli!"

I froze in place whilst Noelle and Xani turned to the direction

of the yell. I slowly shift my body, my eyebrows was tensed,
my nose was tensed, my lips was tensed everything was tensed.
Warren gestured me to come over.

"We'll meet you inside Eli" Noelle said. Before I could respond
she dragged Xani with her and into the school. Great, now it's
only him and I.

I walked over to him and I could see his friend group clearly.
There was 3 of them, one was Dean from the basketball team
and I recognized the red head one; he was sitting on the bench
during the basketball game or something like that and the
chestnut-haired one I got no clue. Whilst looking at Warren, I
noticed his hair was more flat than usual.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked, his hands in his pockets.

I licked my lips "I'm good thanks," Keep it short and Sweet.

"These were the friends I was talking about," The Three guys
bought a smile on their faces.

"Thomas and Filip"

Ah, the ginger one was Thomas and the brown-haired was
Filip. For a ginger, Thomas doesn't really suit him but hey, who
am I to complain.

"And I was wondering if you still wanted to join us on Saturday

around night"

"Like a sleepover?"

"Not a sleepover, bro's night" Thomas included.

Ew. The last thing I need is a night with the 'Boys'. And the fact
they're all straight too meaning it's inevitable that the subject of
girls is going to come up. And I'll be near to so much male body
Odor, and just no. I'll say it again, there's a reason I hang out
with girls.

"Sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to come cause' you know
about my mom and stuff" I said, looking at anywhere but
Warren's eyes. I frowned deeply. Whilst I looked around my
surrounding, Ruby was once again heading towards us. What
did this bitch want now?
“Hey, Warren” she said softly. I pursed my lips, letting the
conversation continue “I was wondering if you were doing
anything at Saturday night” My jaw clenched.

His eyes flickered to me and his friends “I did but I can rain
check for another time,” He nodded and that’s when the prick
from last night came back. It kept poking and poking, I tried to
shake it off, but it didn’t work.

“I’m happy to hear that,” Her hand reached for Warren’s

triceps, and something came over me,

“Actually Warren, I think I’ll be able to go” I said, everyone

looked at me, “If you want me too” I sighed as my mind was at
ease again.

Warren eyebrows lifted and so did his lips “Yeah definitely, I

know it’ll be fun with you there”

“What about me? I thought you could rain check” Ruby said,
pouting slightly. I rolled my eyes.

“Changed my mind.” He shrugged.

Ruby scrunched her face “What? You only wanna go because

Eli’s going now?”

“Yeah and? We’re not together Ruby”

She hummed and stomped off. When Warren looked at me

again his face seemed to soften; all the tension in it was
suddenly gone. I liked that. And I don’t want to see it ever
again.
“You gotta do something about’ her man” Filip chuckled, with
his arms crossed.

And just like that I was going to someone’s house on a

Saturday night. I’m so stupid; so dumb I let my foolish feelings
get the better of me.

“Hey, what’s with the face” Warren tapped my shoulder.

“Nothing. I should get going, though. See you in English” I left

him and walked with my head low and hands in my jacket. I
risked a peek at Warren one more time, seeing him talking to
his friends and laughing. Have I ever noticed how attractive he
was? His dirty blonde hair, his tall figure, muscles, smirk,
jokes. No. I bit my lips before entering the school thinking
about anything but Warren.

That break, I sat down with my two friends. I just had to keep
smiling and pretend I wasn’t going through an exponential
crisis.

“Why are they so close?” I asked them. Shawn’s friends were

just feet's away from our table.
Xani turned around “Yeah it’s annoying seeing Sophie and
Shawn at the same time”

“What you looking at 4 eyed freak” Shawn hissed. Today

wasn’t the day to annoy me you prick.

“Shawn she the fuck the up” Sophie suddenly said, loud enough
for multiple tables to hear. The bully sharply moved his eyes to
the brunette girl, who was wearing blue overalls. Sophie stared
at him back, not unfazed by Shawn’s usual sub-zero glare.

“Standing up for the lesbian? Checks out.” The cheerleaders on

the table snickered quietly as the guys smirked. No one on that
table hid their amusement. Not even Ruby. It was disgusting.
People she’s sat next to almost every day of this school and just
like that cornered. All by herself.

“Why can’t you just fuck off Shawn. Let her be, let everyone
be. I don’t know why I stood by your side through everything”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“I’m gonna stop being your friend, all of you. Because I

deserve better” Our eyes met for only a second before she left
the table and away from the courtyard completely. Xani and
Noelle finally turned back to me, both speechless.

“Hope she’s ok” I said to them.

“Yeah, she’s one brave girl isn’t she” Xani replied, focusing on
the table.
“I thought hanging out with Shawn would stop him from doing
these kinds of things, I went on a frickin date with him for
God’s sake”

I told you so.

I wanted to say. Shawn can’t change, he doesn’t change. He’ll

always be this selfish, repugnant psychopathic jerk. And after
that, she’d need some company.

“I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be back” I left the courtyard to

roam the lighted hallways. I’m the only person she’s talked
about liking girls; she must have some sort of trust in me, and I
won’t let her down.

I heard small whimpers “Sophie?” I called out. She didn’t

respond. I turned a corner and my eyes widened. She was
crouched on the floor leaning on the blue lockers with her face
covered.

“Hey, you’re going to be alright” I slowly walked closer to her.

“No, I’m not. I’ve just lost everyone” She sniffed “The people
I’ve hung out with for all my teenage years and now they’re
gone”
“I know it’s hard but it’s for the best. It’s like what you said; don’t
regret losing friends who were shitty to you. Regret not losing
them sooner” Her sniffs calmed down and her breath was less
shaky. I sat next to her in the same position but with my head up
looking at the ceiling
“I also lost a friend. He didn’t apologize for what he did or justify
why. But I was stupid back then to think he was capable of not
doing that. He’d always occasionally insult me and my friend, not
care about what we do. Always feel out of place. It hurt me so
much because he helped me when I was at my lowest, I could
even go as far as and say he’s the reason I’m still alive today”
“Really?”
“Yup. It’s obviously annoying now that we’re not friends anymore
but I’ll be forever grateful for him, but the thing is he was only in
my life to do just that. And that’s what I’ve noticed a couple days
ago”
“What are you trying to say Eli? That it’s good that my friends
bully all the sophomores and freshman?”
“I’m saying they had a purpose. Because of it, you were able to
stand up for Xani and yourself. You’re a nice girl Sophie, truly.
But in Life, nice doesn’t mean a happy ending”
The silence made me sweat a bit. I was making sense; I know I
was.
She stopped hiding her face.
“If you want, you can always hang out with my friends” I
suggested, tilting my head.
She quickly declined “I think I need to be by myself for a bit if
that’s ok, I don’t want everything to be so fast”
“That’s absolutely fine” I stood up and patted my clothes, never in
my life will I sit on the floor again.
“I’m probably going to the library for the remainder of break” I
nodded “Oh and Thank you Eli. What you said makes sense and
it’s taught me something”
I exhale, smiling “Here to Help”
-
-

-
Saturday approached and I was lowkey excited. For no particular
reason.
I wore my shows after putting my blue denim jacket on and
combed my hair, I made sure nothing was out of place and went
downstairs. I stopped when I saw my mom guarding the door with
a stoned expression on her face and hand on her hips. And
somehow, she wonders where I got my sass from
“Mom, I told you I am just going to a friend’s house” I huffed.
“That’s all you are doing these days, going somewhere, not
spending time in your own home”
“Oh, cause’ this house is peaceful, and cosy isn’t it” I said,
nodding my head slowly. Her eyebrows dropped and so did her
eyes, I made myself look taller. Not today, Mom, not today. I as
preparing for the yell of my life until she suddenly said.
“Go” She moved out of the way and leaned on the wall next to the
multiple baby pictures of me.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes. Let us see what happens after” Was hanging out with
Warren’s friends' worth it? No, it really wasn’t. Me from months
ago would dread this idea and I still do but now there’s something
to look forward to and I don’t want to. My mind can’t even decide
on one and stick with it. It’s ridiculous.
“I’ll be back before midnight” Was my parting words. I had
Dean’s address on my phone and walking there and back wasn’t a
big pain. It was near our high school anyways. On the way there, I
daydreamed about things we would be doing one obviously being
girls because straight guys love talking about girls and how to use
their bodies.
Dean’s house was average looking in the nicest way possible. I
knock on the brown door waiting for someone to open it on the
other side.
“Come in” he said gesturing inside. Dean was tall as hell, but also
skinny. His height is one of the reasons why he’s so good at
basketball though which earns him popularity from other grades.
In other words, he was well respected.
He led me to the basement, and I followed him with little caution.
The walls were plain and grey, and I first see a long red couch,
which Warren and the other two guys were on and two small seats
beside it. In front of them was candy, chocolate and popcorn on a
table. They turned their heads to look at us and Warren breaks into
a small smile.
“Sit next to me Eli” Warren said. Filip moved more to the right for
me to sit down next to Warren and I awkwardly cleared my throat.
The sofa felt hard and had an element of leather. I was also met by
a large screen tv with PlayStation on the floor. These guys and
videogames. Dean closed the basement door shut and clapped.
“Now that everyone’s here let’s get down to business”
“Let’s play a bit first” said the Ginger, grabbing a piece of
popcorn.
“You guys always wanna play that NBA game and you know I’m
shit at it” Filip complained, annoyance written all over his face.
“Ha suck it” Warren jeered. He had a big smirk on his face as he
went to grab a controller himself. I followed his movements with
my eyes, seeing him stand up and watching his back and legs mo-
Shit. What the hell am I doing? I’m a literal creep. I’m a creep.
“Why is this happening” I whispered to myself as I wiped my face
with my two hands trying to return to normal.
“Why’s what happening” Warren said sitting back down and my
eyes unconsciously widen,
“Oh Nothing. I was just talking about my parents and all that
stuff” The dirty blonde nodded and looked back at the tv.
Almost 20 minutes had passed, and they were all playing FIFA.
Well, Thomas and Warren were, and the rest watched. I was on
my phone texting Levi since he was still up just talking why we
hate some movies and tv shows and I couldn’t believe he said he
hated Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Like what thing are you?
And he got angry when I said I disliked Brooklyne 99. I don’t
regret saying it the show’s boring. In our study sessions, I have
noticed how clean his room always is, his hair is always tidy and
kept, and clothes ironed with not a wrinkle in sight. I admired that
about him maybe that’s why I liked him so much.
My eyes drifted to Warren again, his face fixated on the blue
screen whilst his hands frantically moved the sticks of the
controller. I quickly stopped staring just to make sure he didn’t
catch me. I couldn’t believe I was thinking like this, scared of
Warren catching me looking at him? I don’t have a crush on him
so why is it embarrassing? Maybe it’s a phase; it’ll pass. It has to.
They all suddenly roared to the point I had to protect my ears. It
looked like Warren won the match.
“I’m thirsty, got any beer” Thomas asked Dean.
“Yeah, there’s a whole packet in my fridge, come up” Dean and
Thomas stood up to leave and Filip tagged along, the ginger haired
boy then asked,
“You guys want any?”
Warren and I glanced at each other before he replied “Yeah why
not” I shook my head. Even if it has low alcohol content it’s still
bad for you. The basement door closed, and it was only us two.
Great.
I immediately went on my phone so we wouldn’t have to talk.
“You’ve been on your phone all night, talking to someone?” There
was little space between us. His legs were spread open as his head
was turned to look at me. I had both my legs on a couch like a
mermaid but crouched. I thought he wouldn’t notice judging by
his intense gameplay.
“Just Levi” I dimly smiled.
“Did you tutor him today?” I nodded as a response “Went well?”
“He’s starting to know some quotes off by heart and the analysis
for them, so I think it’s going well for him”
I gained a notification.
“You able to tutor me instead of him?” He said, mischief bouncing
around his face.
“I do, in class, every day” I stated nonchalantly.
“Well, it’s not as private right?”
I swallowed my spit right after he said that and cleared my throat.
“No thanks, I like it when people are around us” I nervously
chuckle, and I knew it was the end for me. His smile grew and I
knew he was catching on to my nervousness. He was doing this on
purpose. His head moved closer, and I repelled.
“Warren I....” My words became smaller than a whisper. I’m
fumbling. He’s making me hesitate. Shit! Can the guys get here
already before he does anything else?!
“What’s wrong? Why are you so nervous?” His eyebrows knitted.
You.
I’m nervous because of you Warren Marsh.
“Do I make you nervous, Eli?” He whispered, beginning to tower
over me. No, not again. I placed my hands on his chest to stop me
from lying flat on the sofa.
“No, I just, um, hot.” I slowly move away from him, with a small
grin on my face. “Are you hot? Well of course you are- “I slapped
my mouth.
“You think I’m hot?”
“Well, a lot of girls think you are, but I don’t I think you’re a bit
average looking. But don’t care about my opinion when I look
even worse” I said, gripping my shirt.
But then I realised. There’s no way a white boy is making me this
nervous. No, I can’t accept that. I didn’t have time to suck in all
my nerves since the voices of males entered the room once more.
“You’ve got so many drinks,” Filip said as he took a seat on one
of the armchairs.
“When your dad’s an alcoholic there can be some benefits” I
couldn’t see Dean’s face after he said that, taking a sip out of the
glass bottle. Thomas passed one beer to Warren, and he quickly
broke off the lid with his teeth. He spat it out and his eyes locked
on me,
“What? Do I have sommet’ on my face?” It took me a few
moments for me to come up with a reasonable response, was I
staring that hard?
“No, I was just thinking”
“Bout guys” Filip added, winking at me and I could see Warren’s
face turn sour.
“Lay off him” He asserted.
“He knows we’re joking Warren” Filip a sent a nod my way and I
ignored it by grabbing a black liquorice from the table in front.
I’ve gotten used to the straight boy banter. There were a few
moments of smiles from the other guys except Warren before
Thomas started another conversation
“Have you seen his friend, Noelle though” He pointed to me
“She’s fit as hell”
My eyes lit up at his comment.
“She’s alright,” Filip then commented.
“Nah you don’t get it, she’s in my maths and is super smart, has a
cute giggle and doesn’t take shit from anyone” I glance at the
other guys, and they were all thinking the same as me. Noelle
deserves any other guy that’s not Shawn.
“You’re whipped bro” Dean said.
Thomas shrugged “If you guys ever felt this way about a girl you
wouldn’ be talking”
“Most girls in the school are boring and all the same” My attention
went to Warren.
Dean punched Warren’s shoulder lightly “Because you don’t even
try. You know you can lots of girls”
“Yeah, yeah whatever” He then gulped most of his drink. Dean
was right. I couldn’t deny that he was an attractive guy. Can’t
believe he’s basically hooking up with Ruby though; it just leaves
a bad taste in my mouth every time I think about them.
“So, Eli, if Noelle’s ever looking for someone just know I’m
there”
I snorted before answering “Yes, Thomas I will put in a good
word for you. As long as you treat her right” He had a smug face
on,
“Definitely. She deserves it”
I’m glad that he likes her but with Shawn contstantly pursuing her
I don’t think he’ll get a chance.
Our conversations moved to picking a movie to watch and they all
picked a genre I absolutely hated.
Horror.
And what made it even more hurtful was Warren tried to pick the
scariest one. They all ended up picking The Conjuring and Levi
has told me the jumpscares are genuinly scary. Why can’t we
watch a cute Rom com or fantasy movie like Harry Potter.
Dean went to turn off the lights with the tv being the only source
of light. Warren and I were in the middle of the coach, with
Thomas at the end. Dean and Filip had the own chairs and made
themselves comfortable.
“Hey, if your too scared come closer then” Warren suggested a
smile. Hesitantly, I closed the gap between us, and our shoulders
were touching. I wasn’t going to be nervous over a white boy, no
thanks.
The movie progressed and there was jump scare after 30 minutes
in. I made sure to tense my body so that I didn’t scream like an old
granny being run over. Warren could feel my tense body and was
probably amused.
My eyes became heavy, and I coudn’t support my head no longer
and that’s when I realised I fell asleep and on Warren’s shoulder. I
didn’t have the energy to sleep in another position and I couldn’t
help but feel safe. Like everything was going to be alright.
Is that weird?
Of course it is why wouldn’t.....
-

-
I slowly regained conscious again. I was able to open my heavy
eyes and the first thing I saw was Warren looking back at me, a
moment later he turned away and to the screen.
I groaned “What time is it?”
“About 11” he said. I rubbed my eyes and left his shoulders to sit
by my own.
“I need to go; my mom will get nervous” I confessed, my mouth
opening wide. I was tired as shit.
“I’ll walk you out” He replied faintly. I thanked him and we both
stood up. The other guys were fast asleep, and Dean looked
knocked out judging by the spit falling from his mouth and loud
snore.
We got the door,
“Looks like you were the only one watching the movie”
“Everyone fell asleep by Conjuring 2” He licked his lips. I was
about to the open the door, but Warren stopped me when he
grabbed my arm and spun me around. He let go of me and we look
at each other in silence for a few seconds.
“What?” I chuckle, tilting my head.
He focused on the floor, “Nothing, I just wanna know if you
enjoyed it. I know the comment that Filip made was annoying
but-”
“Warren” I interrupted; his warm gaze fixated on me “I enjoyed it,
in a way. Your friends are nice and funny but just so you know,
they could never replace mine”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I wasn’t trying to convert you to
my friend group or something” I let out a hearty laugh “Or do you
want me to?”
“No thanks, you can keep your good friends, I’m just glad they’re
not dealing drugs or out there stealing” He broke off our eye
contact suddenly.
“Yeah, same”
I opened the door and said my goodbye to Warren. I left Dean’s
Garden and shielded my head from the light rain. I had the urge to
look back just one more time. Just one more glance of that guy
before I’d have to wait 2 days to see him again.
It was a small battle in my mind, but I made the decision and
twisted my body back only to find him staring right back at me.

Chapter 8
Ah, Thanksgiving. One of my favourite holidays. We don't
have school, there is always freshly made food and spending
time with my cousins and family friends. Today's thanksgiving
is different than others. It's the first one where everyone in my
family knows about my sexuality, curtesy of my mom, the
number 1 secret gossiper. I had a red suite on, and had to wear
black polished shoes, like I felt like a straight businessman in
those books Xani always talked about. I was on the edge of my
bed until my door creaked open.
“Hey” Piper said softly “Could your little sister talk to their big
brother about something important?” She looked serious too.
“Sure” I patted a space beside me, and she sat down
immediately looking at her legs and playing with her blue dress,
Ok, this is very unlike her, when was she this nervous.
“Well, one of our cousin’s friends is coming to thanksgiving
and I kind of have a crush on him but he’s known to have been
in relationships he’s broken off and after what happened in
school with Adam, I’m scared Eli”
My eyebrows shot up and my arm went to comfort her.
“I asked you because your older but answer one thing for me.
Do all guys use girls like they’re toys?” A picture of Shawn and
his friends laughing popped up in my head. I can see why. But
Piper’s getting older now, sooner or later she’ll have to face
some sort of reality.
“Yes, some” I inhaled “But the ones who do use girls as toys
and not as individuals are only boys and not Gentlemen, there’s
a difference between the two