The Fountainhead of Chinese Erotica

Stone, Charles

Published by University of Hawai'i Press

Stone, C..
The Fountainhead of Chinese Erotica.
Honolulu: University of Hawai'i Press, 2003.
Project MUSE., https://muse.jhu.edu/.

For additional information about this book

https://muse.jhu.edu/book/8096

Access provided by The Eugene McDermott Library,University Of Texas at Dallas (17 Apr 2018 17:15 GMT)
 Annotated Translation
I have never seen anyone who loved virtue as much as sex.
Confucius, Analects 9.18

Written by Xu Changling of Wumen1

The Story of Empress Wu Zetian’s Lord of Perfect Satisfaction2
Eastern Capital, Seihikaku3

Preface to “The Lord of Perfect Satisfaction”

What is the Ruyijun zhuan? It is the story of Empress Wu Zetian’s inner cham-
ber.4 Although it is told in an offensive manner, is it not still adequate to
serve as an admonitory example? In the past, the fact that the four white-
beards assisted the crown prince and the fortunes of the Han were thereby
made secure was really due to the efforts of the marquis of Liu.5 As for the
marquis of Liu, it can be said that he was faithful to the state. Empress Wu
Zetian was violent beyond regulation and became more lecherous with each
passing day. Even though she went so far as to depose the crown prince and
usurp the throne, no one was able to rectify the situation. And the reinstate-
ment of Zhong Zong was truly due to the efforts of Mr. Aocao.6 Although he
attained advancement through lascivious conduct, was he not also faithful
to the state? At such a time, were the marquis of Liu to have worried about
him and the four whitebeards to have fostered him, how could they have
been effective? The Book of Changes says “simply handed in through a win-
dow”; Mr. Aocao used this method.7 Viewing it in this fashion, even though

133
134 Translation and Original Text

it is told in an offensive manner, is it not still suf¤cient to serve as an admon-

itory example?
Autumn of the year jiaxu.8 Written by Huayang Sanren.9
Calligraphy by the Eremite of the Portal of Pander, Eastern Capital.10

The Story of Passion in the Boudoir

Empress Wu Zetian was the daughter of the commander in chief of Jing pre-
fecture, Wu Shihuo; as a child her nickname was “Fair Flatterer.”11 When she
reached the age of fourteen, the Erudite Emperor heard of her beauty and
obtained her for the rear palace, bestowing upon her the title lady of talents.12
After much time had passed, the Erudite Emperor became ill. As crown
prince, Gaozong attended upon him with liquid medications.13 The Fair
Flatterer waited to one side. Gaozong was delighted upon seeing her and
wanted to have an affair, but he lacked the opportunity.14 After a while Gao-
zong got up to go to the bathroom. The Fair Flatterer knelt as she served
him with a golden pan of water. Gaozong playfully sprinkled her with the
water and intoned:15

Suddenly I recall on Mount Wu

that spirit in my dream;
The road to Yang Terrace is obstructed,
and there is no entrée.16

The Fair Flatterer then matched his couplet and said:

Before enjoying, behind the brocaded curtains,

a meeting of wind and clouds,
I ¤rst bathe from the golden pan
in the rain and dew of imperial favor.17

Gaozong was ecstatic and led her to an assignation in a small, secluded cham-
ber inside the palace where they were utterly entangled. When they were
¤nished, the Fair Flatterer grasped the emperor’s clothing and sobbed: “Al-
though I am lowly, I have long served the emperor. By desiring to ful¤ll the
passions of Your Majesty I have violated the regulation against illicit affairs.
On the day when you become emperor, who knows where you will place me?”
Gaozong untied the nine-dragon mutton-lard jade belt hook he was
wearing and gave it to her, saying: “Should the emperor die, you shall be ele-
vated to empress.” The Fair Flatterer kowtowed repeatedly and accepted it.18
 Annotated Translation 135

After this time when they entered to wait upon the emperor’s illness they
often had secret relations.
The illness of the Erudite Emperor intensi¤ed. The Fair Flatterer was
sent to Ganye Temple where her hair was shaved and she was made a nun.
After Gaozong succeeded to the throne, he went to Ganye Temple to offer
incense and secretly ordered the Fair Flatterer to let her hair grow.19 When
her hair was seven feet long she was conveyed to the palace and appointed
lady of bright deportment of the left.20
After Miss Wu entered the Palace of Bright Deportment she competed
with Empress Wang and Pure Consort Xiao for the emperor’s favor.21 At this
time Miss Wu was thirty-two.22 Sobbing, she told Gaozong: “Your Majesty oc-
cupies the throne. Do you not remember the memento of your jade belt?”23
Gaozong thought to himself that as Empress Wang and Pure Consort
Xiao had both lost his favor, he intended to demote them and elevate an-
other. The next morning as the emperor held court he summoned Zhang-
sun Wuji and asked: “Empress Wang does not have a son; Lady Wu of Bright
Deportment does have a son.24 I intend to demote the empress and promote
a new empress. What is your opinion?”
Wuji did not dare speak.25
There was a close adviser named Chu Suiliang who said in remonstra-
tion: “Empress Wang was formally married to you.26 When the deceased em-
peror neared death he grasped Your Majesty’s hand and said to us: ‘I have a
good son and a good daughter-in-law. I entrust them both to you.’ It is as if
his words are still in my ears. I dare not forget them. Moreover, Empress
Wang has never committed a transgression. On what basis would she be de-
moted? If Your Majesty must replace the empress, I humbly request that the
new one be carefully selected from one of the famous families under
heaven. Furthermore, Miss Wu served the deceased emperor and was dis-
patched to be a nun, something known by everyone. The ears and eyes of all
under heaven cannot be covered. I have transgressed against Your Majesty.
My offense merits death.” He then removed his hat, kowtowed until his head
bled, and said: “I return Your Majesty’s ivory tablet of of¤ce and request per-
mission to return to my ¤elds and cottage.”27
Empress Wu, who was hidden behind the standing screen and over-
heard this, then cried out: “Why don’t you have this sharp-tongued bandit
beaten to death?”28
Gaozong was furious and immediately had Chu Suiliang subjected to ex-
treme torture and then commanded him to commit suicide. Zhangsun Wuji
was demoted to commander in chief of Tan prefecture.29 Later when an
of¤cial historian read the historical record to this point he intoned a poem
that said:
136 Translation and Original Text

Despite all obstacles the emperor’s loyal servant

did not regard his own welfare;30
His direct remonstrances were truly
in the manner of Bi Gan.31
The of¤cial tablet was returned on the imperial steps,
in the end his heart was red-blooded;
His forehead kowtowed on the palace steps
until the columns were red with blood.32
If the majestic phoenix lacks the heart
to establish the ordinances of the state,33
Incestuous hinds will have something to say
that may confuse the imperial intelligence.34
The present dynasty has generously instituted
spring and autumn sacri¤ces in his honor,
Which for all eternity again make manifest
his loyalty to the altars of earth and grain.35

Chu Suiliang was tortured and Zhangsun Wuji was demoted. The court was
tied up like a sack and Miss Wu was fraudulently elevated to empress of bright
deportment.36
At this time Wu Zhao arrogated and confounded the authority of the
court, coming and going without regard for protocol.37 She frequently joined
Gaozong in the audience hall and he pampered and feared her. After this
time all under heaven referred to them as the “two emperors.”
Later, the emperor’s eyes dried up and could not see clearly, and he was
unable to attend to of¤cial business. When of¤cials reported to the throne,
the matter was often relegated to Empress Wu to decide.38 The empress was
intelligent of disposition and knowledgeable of events from ancient times to
the present. She read literature and history widely, and all the matters that
she decided satis¤ed the emperor’s intentions.
Empress Wang and Pure Consort Xiao were framed and punished for
crimes they did not commit. Each was ¶ogged with a cane two hundred
times, their hands and feet were cut off, and they were tossed into a wine
crock. Their steeped bones were ¤shed out and buried in the rear garden.39
Her father Wu Shihuo was named the duke of Zhou and in addition was en-
feoffed as the prince of Taiyuan.40
When Gaozong died, Crown Prince Li Zhe ascended the throne.41 His
temple name was Zhongzong. After the emperor had ascended the throne,
Concubine Wei was elevated to empress.42 Before a year had passed Li Zhe
was demoted to prince of Luling by Empress Wu, who promoted her next
son Li Dan to emperor.43 After being a puppet for seven years he was then
demoted to crown prince.44 At this time she elevated herself to Empress Wu
Zetian, constructed seven temples to the Wu family, and then dispatched a
general to attack and kill the prince of Langya, Li Chong, and the prince of
 Annotated Translation 137

Yue, Li Zhen.45 Troops were again mobilized to massacre the Tang imperial
family. She named herself Wu Zhao and was acclaimed as the August Em-
peror and Great Saint Zetian of the Golden Wheel.46 The dynasty was named
Zhou and her nephew Wu Sansi was elevated to crown prince.47
Prime Minister Di Renjie calmly remonstrated and said: “Your Majesty
has elevated Crown Prince Wu. I sincerely fear that after Your Majesty’s ten
thousand years have expired and your nephew has become the son of heaven,
it will be dif¤cult for him to worship an aunt in the ancestral temple.”48
Upon hearing this petition the empress immediately elevated Li Dan to
emperor and changed his surname to Wu.49 After this time people gradually
developed the intention of overthrowing the Zhou dynasty and restoring
the Tang. A poem says:

One sentence calls back

the dream of the parrot;
Snatched back from the highest heavens
he returns as a young phoenix.50

Empress Wu was herself aware that the hearts of the people were rebellious
and that her personal conduct was not correct, but she slandered people by
accusing them of disloyalty. The number executed could not be fully enumer-
ated. She was inwardly lascivious and outwardly ruthless. Later an of¤cial his-
torian chanted a poem to deride her. The poem says:

With the crow of the hen

the purple palace was empty;
It took but the fallen ¶owers from a few trees
and the ground was covered with red.51
In that age the Fair Flatterer
resided in the Northern Palace;
One morning the son of heaven
occupied the Eastern Palace.52
The chambers of the empress engendered disorder
because of the Zhang brothers;
The restoration of the state itself
depended upon Duke Di.53
Before the events of man take shape
their fate is preordained;
To this day is remembered
the story of Li Chunfeng.54

After the empress negligently followed the counsels of the Zhang brothers,
she used the ruthless of¤cials Lai Junchen, Suo Yuanli, and others and imple-
mented unjust methods; none of the of¤cials dared to offer remonstrations.55
Fortunately, Di Renjie was at court and could be relied upon to maintain the
138 Translation and Original Text

government. But alas, a single man named Xue was presented to the throne
and the sovereign gave free rein to her desires and indulged in lechery. The
story scarcely bears retelling . . .
Originally, at the end of the Sui dynasty, Xue Ju mobilized troops in
Longxi and arrogated the title “Emperor of the Qin.”56 His second son
Renyue followed his elder brother Rengao and was defeated at Qianshui,
surrendered, and was put to death in Changan.57 Before this, Rengao’s be-
loved concubine Suji committed adultery with a servant boy.58 As soon as she
became pregnant, Rengao angrily cast her out at Liushui. When his troops
were defeated, she alone escaped.
She gave birth to a son and named it Yufeng. After he grew up he was
fond of reading the military treatises of Sun Zi and Wu Qi.59 In response to
the dif¤culties of his family he did not pursue an of¤cial career and chose a
wife from Cao. They had two sons; the elder was Xue Boying, the second was
Xue Aocao. During the third year of the Yifeng reign period of Gaozong,
Yufeng died.60 Aocao and his elder brother moved to Changan. In the ¤rst
year of the Yonglong reign period, Boying died.61
Aocao traveled to Luoyang and took up residence there. At this time
Aocao was eighteen. He was more than seven feet tall and had a beautiful
white face; his eyebrows and eyes were ¤ne and bright; he was powerful, un-
usually ¶eet of foot, and widely versed in the classics and histories; and he
excelled at the arts of calligraphy, painting, playing the qin, and the game of
go. He could drink more than a peck of wine without getting drunk, thereby
leading to many excursions in revelry. And his meaty implement was excep-
tionally great and unusually virile. All the ne’er-do-wells of the village knew
of it, and every time they encountered Aocao drinking alcohol sought to get
a peek at it and have a good laugh.
Aocao said: “I have been af¶icted by this thing. I still have not experi-
enced sexual relations. Whenever it has been aroused there is no place to
employ it. This is a cause of distress to me. How can it be a ¤t subject for your
mirth?”
They coerced him until he pulled out his meaty implement. When it be-
came engorged its veins stood out and its head had four or ¤ve sunken fur-
rows. When it became excited, the ¶esh in the furrows protruded like a snail
oozing forth. From the tip to the base the sinews vigorously rippled like an
earthworm. From head to tail it had more than twenty striations. It was red
and lustrous, clear and unblemished. These characteristics were, no doubt,
due to the fact that it had not yet been tainted by women. When the youths
saw it they were all amazed and tested it by hanging a peck of grain from its
head. It stayed erect with strength to spare. Everyone guffawed uncontrolla-
bly and fell into a heap.
 Annotated Translation 139

From time to time they would accompany Aocao to houses of prostitu-

tion. When the inmates ¤rst saw this handsome youth who was pro¤cient at
singing songs and taking part in drinking games, everyone fell in love and
yearned for him. But when they compelled him to reveal his meaty imple-
ment, everyone screamed and ¶ed his presence. Among them was an experi-
enced and lecherous one who by dint of a hundred stratagems guided him to
the goal, but in the end he could not enter. After the fame of Aocao’s meaty
implement had spread, no one was willing to marry him. He sighed con-
stantly and suffered from feelings of anguish.
At this time the empress was over sixty years old. Princess Qianjin recom-
mended one Feng Xiaobao to the throne, and he received imperial favor.62
Xiaobao had formerly been a mountebank who sold pharmaceuticals in the
city of Changan. His meaty implement was very strong and stout; by applying
aphrodisiacs he was able to copulate all night without getting tired. The em-
press loved him utterly. Claiming that he possessed technical skill, she shaved
his hair and made him a Buddhist monk, changed his name to Huaiyi, from
time to time summoned him into the palace to supervise construction, and
thereupon fornicated with him. He was successively promoted to commander
in chief and was enfeoffed as a duke of state.63
Afterward Huaiyi became wealthy and proud, kept many women on the
outside, and also competed for favor with the imperial physician Shen Nan-
qiu.64 In anger he burned the White Horse Temple and the Brilliant Hall.65
The empress plotted with Princess Taiping and had strong women bludgeon
him to death.66 His corpse was conveyed back to the temple and it was fraud-
ulently claimed that he had died of a sudden illness. Shen Nanqiu too re-
ceived advancement due to his lecherous abilities. After much time had
passed he could not overcome a disease of lust as his bone marrow was ex-
hausted and he died.
At this time the empress was already seventy years old. But although she
was of advanced age, her teeth and hair were not in decline and her ample
¶esh and attractive demeanor were just like those of a young woman. As a re-
sult of this cultivation her desires grew incandescent. Even veteran prosti-
tutes and nymphomaniacs were not able to match her.
At this juncture, Zhang Changzong was recommended as a handsome
youth who possessed a large meaty implement. He was summoned and, as ex-
pected, was captivating and beautiful. Changzong also recommended his fra-
ternal cousin Yizhi as fair and possessed of capacities greater than his own.67
When put to the test it proved to be true. These brothers both found favor,
were promoted to the of¤cial positions of minister of the Bureau of Prisons
and director of the Palace Library, and were enfeoffed as dukes of state.68
Those in and out of the court feared them, calling Changzong Squire Six and
140 Translation and Original Text

Yizhi Squire Five, furthermore saying that the countenance of Squire Six re-
sembled a lotus blossom.69
During the ¤rst month of winter in the second year of the Tianshou reign
period,70 Empress Wu wanted to roam through the imperial garden with Yizhi
and Changzong to take pleasure in the ¶owers. She promulgated an edict that
said:

Tomorrow morning I will roam the imperial garden;

With great dispatch let spring be informed.
The ¶owers must bloom overnight
Without waiting for the morning zephyrs to blow.71

As soon as Empress Wu’s decree had been issued, the next morning the one
hundred ¶owers all bloomed. Today people call the tenth month “lesser
spring” for this very reason. This also meant that heaven complied with Em-
press Wu’s wish. A poem was chanted which said that Changzong had a body
as fair as a ¶ower and so forth. The poem said:

After an audience with the Golden Wheel

they emerge from the palace gate;
An edict is issued with ¤ery dispatch
commanding the warmth of spring.72
Even if the ¶owers were replete with
a thousand varied hues,
They would not match the lotus blossom
that resembled Squire Six.73

Also called the reincarnation of Wang Zijin, he was made to wear clothes dec-
orated with bird feathers and ride a colorfully decorated wooden crane.74 A
man from the time wrote a poem that said:

In the past he encountered Fuqiu Bo;

Today he is like Ding Lingwei.75
The palace attendant has talent and demeanor;
But his name is not that of the archivist.76

Changzong and Yizhi would alternate evenings on duty. On evenings when

they were off duty they usually abandoned themselves to mirthful drinking
with beautiful women and would fornicate until dawn. When they copulated
with the empress, their interest ¶agged and their virility frequently gave way,
so that the passions of the empress were not ful¤lled.
It was spring of the second year of the Zaichu reign period.77 One day Em-
press Wu was meditating in the Garden of Harmonious Spring.78 As she ob-
served the serenity of the spring scenery and the profusion of scents and
colors, fallen petals formed into piles and wafts of catkins cloaked her clothes.
 Annotated Translation 141

Add to this birds on secluded perches warbling wildly, female and male meet-
ing their match, and bees and butter¶ies ri¶ing the ¶owers, wings overlapped
above and below. In response to these surroundings her passions were
aroused and she wanted to summon the likes of Changzong in order to be-
stow her favor, but fearing that their interest in her was depleted she inadvert-
ently fell into deep thought and wept.
At this time the eunuch attendant Zong Jinqing ascended the steps and
said: “What is Your Majesty thinking about today?79 Could it not be that your
beloved son the prince of Luling has long been separated from your pres-
ence?” Although Jinqing already knew the empress’ intent, he said this in-
tentionally in order to probe her.
The empress furiously replied: “Who made you say this? You’re my fam-
ily’s old slave. How could you not know me?”
Jinqing kowtowed and begged to die, saying: “I do not wish to elude the
executioner’s axe.80 I must dare to say something in addition.”
The empress said: “Go ahead and say it. I won’t hold it against you.”
Jinqing said: “Your humble servant will presume to guess Your Majesty’s
sentiments. Is it not the case that the likes of Yizhi and Changzong are in-
suf¤cient to meet Your Majesty’s expectations?”
The empress snickered and said: “Yes. What a smart lad you are.”
Jinqing said: “I observe that the likes of Yizhi and Changzong have reached
the heights of wealth and distinction and yet they derisively say that Your Maj-
esty is advanced in years. Only after they have been summoned several times
do they comply with reluctance. They pretend to seek mutual pleasure with
you, but their hearts are not in it. Therefore their energies are enfeebled and
their strength impotent. They do not achieve consummate excitement but
shrink halfway through. They are incapable of making Your Majesty obtain
satisfaction. Instead I hear that in their outside residences they keep singing
boys and dancing girls. Powder and mascara gather in droves. How then can
they devote all their energies to Your Majesty?”
Upon hearing this statement the empress angrily cursed and said: “I
have been betrayed by these lackeys. I thought there was a limit to their en-
ergy. I did not know they had relations with others. I’ll dispose of them like
a slab of meat on a table.”81
Jinqing said: “Your Majesty, pray subdue your thunderous anger. The likes
of these are not worth the trouble of staining the chopping block and heads-
man’s axe. I have another suggestion. I hear that in the city of Loyang there
is a handsome young man whose family name is Xue and given name is Aocao.
This person is nearly thirty, his abilities and appearance are all that could be
asked for, and furthermore his meaty implement is virile and strong. The likes
of Yizhi and Changzong cannot match him. If Your Majesty were to issue an
142 Translation and Original Text

edict instructing me to summon him by imperial decree, he would certainly

be able to satisfy the imperial passions and wait upon you eternally beside
your table and mat.”
The empress said: “Do you know this person?”
Jinqing said: “I do not know him but hear that young people from the
same locality say: ‘A hand cannot grasp it, a ruler cannot measure it. Its head
resembles a snail, the body is like a skinned rabbit, and the sinews look like
earthworms. Hang a peck of grain on it and it will not droop.’”
The empress leaned upon the standing screen and sighed: “No need to
elaborate. I understand.” Then she ordered the imperial treasury to provide
two ingots of gold, one pair of white jade bi, four bolts of patterned brocade,
and a covered carriage drawn by four horses.82 She personally wrote the de-
cree to Aocao. The decree said:

In such intervals as occur while conducting the affairs of state there has long
been an emptiness in the depths of my heart.83 I have thought of obtaining a
person of high moral standing with whom to converse and feast. I have heard
that you entertain high aspirations and that your natural endowments are pro-
digious. I fervently wish to meet you to assuage my famished bosom. With re-
gard to the further details, the emissary will be able to inform you fully. Do not
obdurately maintain your purity as that would be a betrayal of my intentions.84

Jinqing received the decree and then, taking with him the gold and silk, paid
a visit to Aocao. After a while he saw Aocao, and Aocao said: “My base quali-
¤cations pollute the imperial virtue. This is not appropriate for a subject. I
dare not follow these orders.”
Jinqing said: “If you do not wish to traverse the azure clouds to high
of¤cial position, in the end you will ¤nd yourself in distress behind wretched
village gates.”
Aocao said: “There is an appropriate road to the azure clouds. To use a
meaty implement as the stairway to advancement is assuredly disgraceful.”
Jinqing whispered in his ear and said: “You can ¶y to the heights and as-
cend beyond heaven and earth. Furthermore you still have not experienced
sexual relations. If not the current empress, who could accommodate you?”
Aocao had no alternative but to go. On the road he sighed and said: “The
worthy should be able to progress because of their talents. What is the topic
of today’s examination?”
With ¶ying speed Jinqing reported to the empress. The empress dis-
patched a series of eunuchs and attendants on horseback to hasten him on
his way.85 Upon arrival, Jinqing led Aocao into the rear palace to be presented.
After paying obeisance he was instructed to sit. After the presentation of tea,
 Annotated Translation 143

the attendant concubines were instructed to lead him to a bath in the Cham-
ber of Translucent Jade. They presented marrow unguent solution and
bathed him, and furthermore shed their inner and outer garments in order
to excite him. Aocao’s meaty implement proudly exposed itself. The palace
concubines covered their mouths and tittered. They withdrew saying: “Today
the empress has found her man.”
After the bath was completed he was dressed in a cloud-soaring crane-
feather cape, girdled with a seven-treasure buckled belt, and capped with an
ornately decorated emerald hat held in place by a raven sash. Upon inspec-
tion he was as elegant as an immortal. The empress was elated. Clapping her
hands and saying, “An immortal has descended upon this place,” she in-
structed the banquets of¤ce to prepare a repast.86
Jinqing sat with them in a threesome and, using large ruby lotus cups ¤lled
with grape wine from Western Liang prefecture, with both hands presented sev-
eral rounds to Aocao. Just when Aocao wanted to start guzzling, the empress’
desires were moved. Her countenance was slightly ¶ushed, but certainly this
was not because of the wine. With a twitch of her chin she instructed the atten-
dants to arrange articles such as a soft quilt and delicate coverlet in the heated
eastern chamber of the Huaqing Palace and ordered Jinqing to withdraw.87
The empress took Aocao by the hand, entered, and sat with him shoulder
to shoulder. After a while two girl servants presented a golden pan of rose-per-
fumed water. The empress ordered them to leave and closed the golden phoe-
nix door herself, bolting it with the nine-dragon crossbar. The imperial
concubines strolled back and forth past the crack in the door in order to spy
on them, and for this reason knew exactly what happened from beginning to
end in great detail.
The empress washed her vagina with the rose-perfumed water and said
to Aocao: “Jinqing says that you are still a virgin, that you have yet to experi-
ence sexual relations. Is this true?”
Aocao said: “I have been unfortunate. The body I have inherited is too
large. I have stumbled along for several years, content to remain unmarried
and alone. Today in complying with the imperial decree I do not know how
to express my apprehension. I am of coarse constitution and un¤t to minister
to the imperial body. I request that the concubines ¤rst be instructed to look
at it; based on whether the implement is acceptable or not, things should pro-
ceed or stop. If Your Majesty were to see it suddenly I am afraid it would startle
the imperial passions and I would be deserving of ten thousand deaths.”
Empress Wu said: “So your meaty implement is as large as that? I should
examine it personally.” She then had him remove his undergarments. The
empress scrutinized it for a long time, observed it dangling with magni¤cent
length, and said in sport: “Do not be hesitant and cause needless suffering.”
144 Translation and Original Text

At the time Aocao’s meaty implement was still limp. The empress guided
it with her hand and ¤ddled with it, then said: “The organ you have reared is
as large as this and yet you have not experienced sexual relations!” Then she
undid her clothes and revealed her vagina. The ¶esh around the vulva be-
came tumid; it was ample and smooth without pubic hair. Aocao withdrew
and did not dare advance. The empress led his hand and had him stroke it.
Aocao’s meaty implement gradually enlarged and abruptly it sprang up. The
¶esh in all the furrows of the glans ¤lled out. Lateral sinews extended, ¤rm
and unyielding it sprang erect.
The empress held it fast in both hands as if she had just received a treasure
and said: “How monumental! It is not of this world. I have known many men,
but there has never been one like this.88 In the past, Wang Yifu had a chowry
with a handle of white jade; it was uniquely transparent and lustrous.89 For this
reason I name it ‘chowry handle’: the ultimate of beauty.”
While Empress Wu was stroking it, her amorous desires were agitated and
she laid her head on a Qiuci pillow decorated with a wandering fairy motif
and used a crescent moon cushioned comforter to support her waist as she
lay on her back.90 Aocao lifted the empress’ two feet with his hands and
paused at the mouth of her vagina. The empress directed him with her two
hands. At ¤rst it was so constricted that he could not penetrate. The empress
said: “Enter gradually.” Aocao wanted to penetrate quickly. The empress
steeled herself to receive him, knit her brow, clenched her teeth, and endured
the pain. The knob of the glans was completely submerged. Soon vaginal se-
cretions seeped out and gradually it felt smoother. Then he again advanced
slightly. The empress could not bear it, however, and urgently pulled out the
band of her panties and fastened it halfway down the length of his organ. The
empress said to Aocao: “Your chowry handle is extremely rigid and thick. My
vagina is extremely sore and cannot endure it. It would be a good idea to slow
down and resume after a short rest.”
Before long, Aocao noticed that the empress’ eyes were vacant and her
palms hot. Her cheeks were ¶ushed and her breathing accelerated. Vaginal
¶uids over¶owed and the empress gradually began to respond to him with
her own body. Aocao then began to thrust and retract. After two hundred
times the empress unconsciously grasped Aocao’s waist with her hands. She
gave vent to abandoned cries, both eyes closed in exhaustion, perfumed
perspiration ¶owed forth, and her four limbs lay inert upon the cushioned
comforter. Aocao asked: “Is Your Majesty all right?”
The empress was not able to speak. Aocao wanted to pull out his chowry
handle but the empress hurriedly embraced him, saying: “You truly are my
son.91 Don’t ruin my excitement.” Aocao again resorted to shallow retractions
and deep thrusts several hundred times. A torrent of vaginal ¶uid saturated
 Annotated Translation 145

the band. The empress stroked Aocao’s shoulder and said: “You satisfy me to
perfection. But why did we meet so late?92 I should bestow upon you the title
‘Lord of Perfect Satisfaction.’ Next year on your behalf I will change the name
of the calendar year to ‘First Year of Perfect Satisfaction.’”93
Aocao said: “Your Majesty’s vital energies have not deteriorated and your
appearance is ever more youthful. My inferior abilities are suf¤cient to be de-
ployed. Why should you sigh that it is so late? In this mundane world I have
not had a single encounter with a woman. Today I have ¤rst come to know the
joy of sexual relations, which is a ful¤llment of my personal aspirations. How-
ever, my crude form has affronted your jadelike body. Though I were to pluck
out the hairs of my head they would not suf¤ce to enumerate my crimes.94 If
you are gracious enough not to reject me, so that I can always attend you upon
quilt and coverlet, even if I were to die it would seem like life.”95
The empress said: “My Lord of Perfect Satisfaction, if you do not neglect
me, how could I be willing to forget you for even a moment? From now on
you should not refer to yourself as ‘subject’ or address me as ‘Your Majesty.’
I have feelings for you as deep as those of a husband and wife. The ceremo-
nies appropriate to ruler and subject should be terminated.”
Aocao said: “I live in fear of an unnatural death. How could I dare to
suppress the noble and promote the lowly? It is only because Your Majesty fa-
vors me.”96
Then after Aocao and the empress had copulated for a long time, dur-
ing their unbridled jesting and joking the chowry handle softened slightly.
The empress said: “Are you tired?”
Aocao said: “I have yet to know contentment; how could I know fatigue?”97
The empress added: “You have just experienced sexual relations for the
¤rst time but do not yet know how to make it more pleasurable. But there is
still a day and a time for heights of passion and unrestrained desire. I must
be rather remiss. We can stop here.”
Aocao again grasped the empress’ feet and said: “Wait just a minute.” He
hurriedly took a silk handkerchief and made use of the mouth of her vagina
to rub his chowry handle. The more he rubbed the more rigid it became, so
again he penetrated.
The empress said: “A famished man! How is it you are so insatiable?”
The empress had intended to rest for a while, but when she saw that Ao-
cao’s lewd excitement was fully rekindled, she let herself go and allowed him
to retract and thrust as he pleased. The empress’ passions were further de-
lighted. She gripped and wriggled vigorously. Her liquid secretions over¶owed.
Her vaginal vapors were as hot as steam. The sound made by their grapplings
seemed to continue incessantly.
Aocao raised his waist and screwed her. The empress embraced Aocao
146 Translation and Original Text

and in a coquettish manner said: “Lord of Perfect Satisfaction, your charac-

ter is ruthless. Now I am dying of delight.”
The two bodies were pasted together, and after a long time the empress
said: “You can stop now. Passions cannot be allowed to reach the extreme.”
Aocao said: “Why worry about the trouble entailed? If you intend to
throw a party, why fear a man with a great belly?”
The empress said: “How much rice and tea are you able to consume?”
Aocao said: “The quantities I eat and drink could ¤ll a great ravine or
swell a vast river.”
The empress said: “What the Lord of Perfect Satisfaction has said would
entail a great waste of the host’s materials.”
Aocao said: “My passions have been aroused. I hope that Your Majesty will
accommodate me.” Then he surreptitiously unfastened two rounds of the
band and again penetrated.
The empress, feeling the urgent pressure in her vagina and knowing that
Aocao was taking advantage of her, then said: “You are committing the crime
of lèse-majesté.”
Aocao said: “If one looks out for faults it is only as a means of recogniz-
ing goodness.98 I hope Your Majesty will be a bit more accommodating.”
The empress said: “Tolerance is certainly a good thing, but it’s just that
pain and pleasure are in extreme imbalance.”
Aocao did not listen and penetrated about two more inches. The empress
could not prohibit him, so she let Aocao come and go, thrust and retract, to
the point where his sperm was about to ejaculate. At ¤rst Aocao did not know
that he was going to ejaculate, and he thrust forward until his chowry handle
penetrated all the way to her cervix. The cervix is the innermost recess of a
woman and its ¶esh is like a ¶ower pistil enveloped by a calyx beginning to
frondesce. When the head of the man’s stalk penetrates to this point, he will
feel a melting sensation the pleasure of which is indescribable.
The empress felt the head of his chowry handle rise vigorously as her
cervix quickly contracted. She knew he had ejaculated and responded with
abandon. Aocao had reached adulthood without having married so he ejac-
ulated like a geyser. Vaginal ¶uids oozed forth and their bodies remained as
though pasted together. After a while the empress said: “I’m exhausted,”
wiped her vagina with her panties, and got up.
After much time had passed she ordered that the doors be opened, saw
that the sun was already setting, and dined with Aocao in the front chamber.
The empress’ emotions were completely grati¤ed. She appointed Zong Jin-
qing general of the Left Palace Gate Guard and director of the Palace Domes-
tic Service.99 She bestowed on him one gold urn laden with pearls, two silver
urns laden with gold, a thousand bolts of varicolored silk, and thirty thousand
 Annotated Translation 147

strings of cash to reward him, and said: “You are far more worthy than Wei
Wuzhi.100 Gold and jade are not to be compared to you. Tomorrow I will
change the name of the calendar year to the First Year of Perfect Satisfac-
tion.”101 An amnesty was made universal, exceeding customary regulations.
At this time the left vice-director of the Department of State Affairs, Yang
Zhirou, directly presented a memorial to the throne and said: “All of¤cialdom
has accepted the imperial decree to change the name of the calendar year, but
many do not comprehend the meaning of the term ‘Perfect Satisfaction.’102
As it does not designate an auspicious object and furthermore is unrelated to
the way of governance, it is requested that you change it.”
The empress replied: “How dare you disagree with a proposition that I
myself have put forth!” Then she stripped Zhirou of his of¤ce. After that
time everyone was fearful and did not dare to offer criticism.
The empress loved Aocao to such an extreme that she desired to snatch
the of¤ces away from the Zhang brothers and give them to him and further-
more wished to construct a magni¤cent residence for him. Aocao declined
with resolution, saying: “Your Majesty has many favorites on the outside, and
the harm caused to your imperial virtue is not insigni¤cant. Why would you
then make such a promotion? Furthermore I live by myself alone. Why
would you need to build a residence for me?” The empress became even
more enamored of him.
In the ¤rst year of the Changshou reign period, the crown prince’s wives
Liu and Dou after some investigation came to know the provenance of the
term “Perfect Satisfaction” and thereupon discussed it together, saying: “Ao-
cao’s meaty implement is like a donkey’s, and Empress Wu can accommodate
it with room to spare.”103
When the empress heard of this she was incensed: “How dare those ver-
min act thus!” She ordered them both to commit suicide.104
The empress had a suspicious and jealous nature. In the time of Gao-
zong, whenever she had misgivings about any of the female attendants she
had them killed for minor infractions. Many such were protected by Aocao,
and those who thereby escaped harm were legion.
From this time on the empress spent much time with Aocao. When they
sat, their thighs were stacked upon one another; when they slept, their shoul-
ders were connected. Their affections were expressed in myriad forms. The
empress once said to Aocao: “When I read in the Spring and Autumn Annals
that Jin Xiangong was infatuated with Li Ji to the point where he killed the
crown prince Shensheng and banished his sons Yiwu and Chonger without re-
gret, I thought in my heart that this was excessive.105 But now I am so passion-
ately in love that I have to laugh that Jin Xiangong’s love of Li Ji was shallow
in comparison.”
148 Translation and Original Text

Aocao rejected this imputation with great apprehension and said: “When
I ¤rst entered the palace the crown prince had already been removed to Lul-
ing. If I am to be compared to Li Ji then I certainly have never interfered in
the maternal relationship between Your Majesty and your sons. If the outer
court were to hear of this it would not be to my advantage.”
The empress said: “I am so utterly infatuated with you that I uncon-
sciously alluded to this.”
In the second month of the ¤rst year of the Yanzai reign period,106 the
empress had the Pavilion of Captured Fragrance constructed in the impe-
rial garden. The empress feasted with Aocao in the pavilion. When the em-
press had imbibed to the point where she was half-intoxicated, her amorous
desires got the better of her and she laughingly said to Aocao: “Although
you and I have long had intimate intercourse, you have yet to insert your
chowry handle all the way.”
That day a set of drapes with exquisite gold ¤ligree was hung up in the
pavilion. The empress embraced Aocao and said: “Today we will attempt to
deploy your chowry handle completely in order to augment our pleasure.
But you cannot be reckless and cause me only to suffer pain.”
Aocao said: “Usually when I have sexual intercourse with Your Majesty
there is not much left that I can do. But when I devote myself wholeheartedly
to serving Your Majesty’s amorous pleasure, I sometimes unwittingly go a little
further than before. To speak of pain today is to misinterpret my loyal heart.”
The empress laughed and said: “That is not the case. It is only the hard-
ness and sharpness of your advance that worries me. If you thrust and drive,
come and go gradually, there will be nothing for me to fear.”
The empress then reclined on her back with her head on a high pillow, a
folded quilt supporting her waist. Aocao grasped his chowry handle and in-
serted it into the mouth of the empress’ vagina. He massaged the head until
it was lubricated but did not let it penetrate deeply.107 The empress’ desires
were aroused and could not be withstood. She desperately desired that his
chowry handle fathom the deep and mysterious depths. Aocao intentionally
allowed it to penetrate only shallowly. Vaginal ¶uids exuded from the mouth
of her vagina that were like the slime secreted by a snail. The empress told
Aocao to penetrate more deeply, but Aocao suddenly pulled out. The em-
press made coquettish sounds and looked at Aocao and said: “You short-lived
bandit, what are you doing?”
Aocao then drove it straight to the point where the band of her panties
had been tied and said to the empress: “Isn’t deep penetration sublime?”
The empress closed her eyes and said with a laugh: “Send it in slowly.”
Aocao did not listen and inserted two or three more inches.
The empress said: “What recklessness!”
 Annotated Translation 149

Aocao again squatted and with his two hands lifted the empress’ haunches
in order to savor the sight as it went in and out. Realizing that the empress was
in ecstasy he again inserted two or three inches.
The empress said: “Fantastic! This is no ordinary condition. I am dying.”
Thereupon her murmurs became tremulous and her accelerated pant-
ing coquettishly soft. She raised her two feet, propped them up on Aocao’s
back, and lifted herself in order to contend with him tens of times. Aocao
gripped the empress’ haunches, up and down, thrusting and retracting, com-
ing and going with great urgency. Aocao sported with her and said: “I don’t
suppose that your vagina is hot and tingling, is it?”
The empress said: “The pleasure is indescribable. But may I ask how
much remains?”
Aocao said: “More than two inches.”
The empress said: “This part is unusually thick. As it is said: ‘You’re slowly
getting to the best part,’ and that is how it should be. But you cannot insert it
completely.”108
Aocao said: “Having come this far, the situation will not allow me to stop.”
With a ¶atulent burble he penetrated straight to the root. There was not
the space for a single strand of hair left between them.109 The empress was
highly aroused. Her entire body was pasted to Aocao. She raised her waist and
writhed and wriggled several hundred times, then looked at Aocao and said
in a low voice: “Don’t move. My head feels so dizzy, I hardly know where I am.”
Aocao’s excitement was just then fully aroused. He withdrew his organ as
far as the glans and then drove his chowry handle in over a hundred more
times. Vaginal secretions ¶owed without ceasing. Empress Wu spontaneously
cried out: “My own Daddy, you’re killing me with pleasure. But stop for just a
minute, such vigorous comings and goings are hard to endure.”
Aocao did not listen as her vaginal secretions dribbled out. The sound re-
sembled a throng of coolies plunging through the muck. After a while the em-
press’ feet went limp, her eyes closed and teeth clenched, breathing through
her nostrils was very faint, and her faculties were disoriented. Aocao was
terri¤ed. He immediately pulled out his chowry handle and raised the em-
press into a sitting position. Only after a long time did she come back to her
senses. Aocao said: “What happened to Your Majesty? It terri¤ed your humble
servant and I did not dare continue.”
The empress opened her eyes wide and gazed at Aocao. Then she em-
braced him and said with coquettish tears: “After this you should not be so
reckless. If you had not paused for a moment I would have perished as a result.
What would you have done then?”
Aocao said: “The fact that Your Majesty was unable to sustain it any longer
has nearly shattered my courage and made it impossible for me to bring my
150 Translation and Original Text

delightful arousal to its completion. Because of the shock, my chowry handle

has become ¶accid.”
The empress said: “For the time being let us forgo this. As long as I am
fortunate enough to remain alive, you may have it whenever you want it.”
Using Aocao’s thigh as a pillow, the empress casually caressed his chowry
handle with her face and said: “Since I have gotten along in years I have
yearned for an exceptional man. Who would have thought that through Jin-
qing’s recommendation I could have obtained someone as well endowed as
you? Although our meeting is late, truly it is the blessing of my old age. But
you must not emulate the likes of Yizhi, who starts well but cannot ¤nish.”
Aocao said: “If I casually neglect Your Majesty, may the gods strike me
dead. Your Majesty grasps the power of life and death. If I deviate from what
I have said today, may knives and spears in¶ict ten thousand deaths upon
me. But I do not know what Your Majesty intends to do in the future. I am
of humble origins. If I had not met Your Majesty, how would I have known
that the area below the skirt is so delectable?”
The empress said: “As for you, if it were not for me no one could accom-
modate you; as for me, if it were not for you no one could satisfy me. I often
recall when I was fourteen and attended upon Taizong. Taizong’s meaty im-
plement was of average proportions. I was very young and still felt a pain that
I could not endure. After attending upon him in bed for half a year, I still did
not develop a taste for it.
“When I was twenty-six or seven I attended upon Gaozong. Gaozong’s
meaty implement was large and virile, but the inception of arousal and its con-
summation were all his to have. I was not able to enjoy myself as I wished.
“Fortunately, upon his death I met the monk Huaiyi.110 His meaty imple-
ment did not at ¤rst equal Gaozong’s. But after it was inserted into the furnace
it gradually grew larger and longer until it was extremely stiff and hot and
could last the entire night without fatigue.111
“Shen Nanqiu too was large and virile. He risked his life to please me,
ejaculating endlessly until he contracted an illness.
“Now the brothers Changzong and Yizhi are both beautiful young men.
Yizhi’s meaty implement is particularly large. Changzong’s is six or seven
inches long and suf¤cient to provide for my pleasure. But after only one ejac-
ulation it is no longer willing to elevate and is even stricken with paralysis. I
despise it. The meaty implements of these several men are the choicest selec-
tions from all of humanity, but they are not even remotely comparable to the
endowment of my Lord of Perfect Satisfaction. After today there is no need
to insert the stalk and submerge the head completely, just insert half and that
will be suf¤cient.”
At this time the empress had become quite elevated in years.112 Her ap-
 Annotated Translation 151

pearance was ever more attractive and her teeth and hair had not changed.
But for the old female and the young male, inevitably one wanes as the other
waxes, and Aocao’s strength was somewhat enervated.
On one occasion they relaxed in the Florid Flower Pavilion. In front of
the balcony the crabapple trees were in full bloom. The empress plucked a
sprig and stuck it on one side of her cloudy locks. Her creamy breasts were half
exposed and her demeanor was bewitching. She leaned on the turquoise
standing screen and cast a sidelong glance at Aocao. Suddenly Aocao’s amo-
rous desires sprang up. Shoulder to shoulder they stood with their mouths
united. Then they spread out a soft comforter on which to copulate, insisting
upon the consummation of their pleasure. They did this so many times that
it is impossible to enumerate them fully.
After this day, whenever the empress held court and Zhang Changzong
and Zhang Yizhi were in attendance, she could not even bear to turn her head
to look at them. The imperial favor she showed to them gradually diminished,
and after she retired from court she no longer summoned them.
The Zhang brothers were secretly alarmed and suspicious and could not
fathom the reason. One day the empress went to the Luxurious Forest Gar-
den and summoned the academicians of the North Gate to a feast.113 Chang-
zong and Yizhi were there.
The empress saw that their cheeks were like peach blossoms, their laugh-
ter captivating, their eyes brilliant. Spontaneously her amorous desires were
aroused, and she had both offer jade cups of wine to her long life. Changzong
slightly exposed his wrist. It was the same color as white jade. The empress
pinched it with her ¤ngernail. When the wine was ¤nished, she summoned
them into the palace and Changzong said: “We are to receive the imperial
favor once again.”
When they reached the door the empress came to a halt. Her eyes like
autumn rivulets conveyed her passion. After a long pause she said: “I cannot
help it. I do not mean to slight you.” She signaled to the eunuch attendants
and had them present Changzong with a thousand catties of yellow gold,
and Yizhi with a thousand ounces of gold, and then ordered them to leave.
The Zhang brothers’ suspicions increased, and when they learned upon
inquiry that Aocao was monopolizing the empress’ favor in the palace, they
could only sigh deeply. Privately the empress too felt regret and often went to
the North Gate Academy to solace and succor Changzong and Yizhi. They im-
bibed and jested as before, and gifts were presented in incalculable abun-
dance, but it did not lead to debauchery.
In the ¤rst month of summer in the ¤rst year of the Shengli reign pe-
riod, when the rains had just ceased, the empress held Aocao’s hand and
strolled through the rear garden.114 In the midst of a green grove of willows,
152 Translation and Original Text

secluded songbirds mated with each other and warbled their names. Sud-
denly the empress’ lecherous desires were aroused and she said with a sigh:
“Even songbirds know the joy of mating with each other. Could it be that
man is not the equal of a bird?”115
Quickly she ordered her female attendants to spread a cushioned com-
forter of Sichuan brocade in a secluded spot, then snickered as she said to
Aocao: “You and I should today emulate the joy of the songbirds.”
After they had each removed their undergarments, the empress knelt
face-down on a cushion, reared up her haunches, and had Aocao enjoy her by
inserting his chowry handle into her from behind. His hands caressed her
breasts as if he were a calf attempting to suckle. They made numerous burbling
noises; in fact, the details of their delight would be quite dif¤cult to describe.
One day the empress said to Aocao: “Today at dawn I saw Squire Six
shine in the ¤rst sunlight like a lotus blossom on the water. Squire Five also
looked quite fresh and pure.”
Aocao said: “A gentleman does not appropriate the source of another’s
pleasure.116 Why does Your Majesty not call them in to divide up the nights
and wait upon you with quilt and pillow?”
The empress snickered and said: “Once you have eaten the lichees of the
South Sea, green plums are like chewing wax. Once you have seen the ocean,
it is dif¤cult for other bodies of water to compare.117 I am at that point!”
Aocao said: “I would not feel sour about it.”
The empress said: “Of course, you are not sour. But I cannot stand how
sweet they are.” They both clapped their hands and guffawed.
That year in the sixth month on a hot summer evening the empress went
to the Pavilion of the Balmy Breezes and with a golden pan poured water on
an iridescent South Seas dragon-scale stone. The cool vapors exuded by this
stone assailed the beholder. She spread out a blue-green dust-repellent raw
silk soft comforter from Quxu, placed a Korean “dragon beard” rush mat on
top, and burned Cambodian camphor incense.118 Then the empress laid
naked upon the mat.
When she was in a state of slumbering oblivion, Aocao suddenly showed
up at her side. At the time the moonlight was as bright as broad daylight and
the empress’ body was as lustrous as jade, alternately illuminated and shad-
owed in the wavering luminescence. As Aocao’s lecherous desires were sud-
denly aroused, he raised his chowry handle and slowly inserted it into her
vagina. While in a dream state the empress made an anguished sound and
then awoke. By the time her starry eyes ¶ashed open with surprise, Aocao had
already thrust and retracted several tens of times.
The empress said: “You have not waited for the ruler’s mandate!119 Pene-
trating deep into the forbidden quarters, what should be your punishment?”
 Annotated Translation 153

Aocao said: “Your humble servant braved death to enter Hongmen and
thought only of loyalty to my ruler.”120
The empress guffawed. Raising her body, she abandoned herself to his
thrusting and driving. Aocao draped the empress’ arms and wrists around his
shoulders and neck, propped up her feet, then lifted her torso up and thrust
into it. The empress laughed sarcastically and said: “Even singing girls and
wanton sluts wouldn’t do this. Only you and I can be utterly debauched and
do everything that can be done.”
Afterward, on the evening of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Aocao and the
empress were enjoying the moonlight in the Pavilion of Assembled Fairies in
the Palace of the Upper Yang.121 Wine goblets were plied in mutual toasts to
the tune of subtle strains of music resembling intimate whispers. But mirth
and laughter before we know it give way to sighs. Generally speaking, plea-
sure in the extreme leads to sorrow.122 This is the nature of man.
Among the palace concubines, the one who was most clever, the Lady of
Handsome Fairness Shangguan, understood the intentions of the empress.123
She offered a goblet to her long life accompanied by a song that went:

The autumn wind is crisp and clear, the myriad pipes are silent;
Fallen pearls of dew are luxuriant, the moon is like a disk of jade.
On such a beautiful evening as this, offer up the jade cups;
The empress embraces an immortal youth, for a thousand years of
ardent ¶ight.
Still there is regret, there is no enchantment.
When the goddess of the moon laments her loneliness, what
should be done?

The empress was delighted and instructed Shangguan to sing Aocao into a
state of arousal. As she stepped forward, Shangguan sang:

The moon is brilliant, as the winds arise in the Jianzhang Palace,

Fragrance permeates the air, a ¤ne night has not ended in the
Weiyang Palace.124
A pair of phoenixes in ardent ¶ight, quavering and quivering in
harmony;
Youthful years do not return, bit by bit they ¶ow away;
We hope you apply yourself diligently, attending to our celestial
empress.125

When Aocao had ¤nished drinking, he lifted his cup to the empress and sang:

On the Jasper Terrace in the Ninth Heaven, the divine scenery is vast;
As distant as clouds and mud are we, how would I dare to forget?
May you live as long as the heavens, forever and without end;
Passing in and out of the Milky Way, we will soar about together.
154 Translation and Original Text

After he ¤nished singing, Aocao took the opportunity of his inebriation and,
without further observing the rites for ruler and subject, pulled the empress
to his bosom. He saturated her breasts with wine. Aocao drank half himself
and had the empress drink the remainder. The empress complied with utter
delight, and in a while she led him by the hand to the Palace of Supreme Tran-
quillity to rest.126
The empress took off all her outer clothes and wore only a short Lingnan
“tube cloth” chemise.127 She and Aocao embraced, and she called for a Guilin
small-world fragrant pastry.128 The empress masticated it ¤nely and with her
tongue driveled it into Aocao’s mouth. The empress lifted one leg to the side.
Aocao stroked his chowry handle and thrust it toward the mouth of her va-
gina at an angle. They abandoned themselves to lechery. Suddenly it entered
her and the empress raised her body and leaned to one side to receive it until
it went all the way in to the base. They came and went, thrust and drove, and
there was no longer any sign of painful hesitation.
Then she had young servant girls hold candles and stand in attendance at
their side. With her delicate hand she pulled at the chowry handle and made
Aocao lie down on his back. The empress received Aocao’s chowry handle with
the mouth of her vagina then mounted him like a horse and straddled him.
With each hop and dip the chowry handle gradually entered her. Only three
or four inches of the base were left. Aocao raised his body and drove.
The empress laughed and said: “You’re just too merciless! You want to
be the end of me. But don’t move, I want to observe the virtuosity of its com-
ings and goings.” The empress placed her hands on the bed and dangled her
head to savor the sight.
Amorous arousal convulsed her. Vaginal ¶uids ¶owed so copiously that,
in all, the handkerchiefs had to be changed ¤ve times. It was already the third
watch, and by this time the empress’ four limbs could no longer move. Aocao
feared that the empress’ strength had been depleted so he shifted her to the
bottom and with maximum force thrust and retracted, came and went, sev-
eral hundred times. He drove straight to the base and then thrust all the way
to her cervix over a hundred more times.
The empress’ eyes grew dim and her voice quavered constantly as she said
to Aocao: “The pleasure of this rendezvous sets it apart from the others. I am
truly excited to death. Use all your force and toy with me a while longer. Even
if I should die it wouldn’t matter.”
For a long time the empress made no sound at all. Aocao knew he was
about to ejaculate, so he raised himself up and with maximum force thrust
and retracted as he drove it in. The empress clenched her teeth, her face red-
dened and her nose turned blue, then suddenly she gasped and cried out:
“You are truly my son. I really am dying.”
 Annotated Translation 155

He ejaculated like a geyser. Aocao’s strength had been somewhat dissi-

pated, so he pulled out his chowry handle in order to give it a rest. The em-
press’ passions had not yet subsided. She used a silk handkerchief to wipe
clean the chowry handle, lay her head on Aocao’s thigh and caressed his
chowry handle with her face, then used her mouth to suck on it. She looked
back and saw the young servant girls to one side holding the candles. Feeling
quite embarrassed she then ordered the servant girls: “You use your mouths
to suck on it too.”
The head of the chowry handle was enormous and their mouths could
not accommodate it, so they could only nibble and suck on it. The empress
then said: “Only I am able to accommodate the organ Aocao has raised,
though it has nearly been the death of me on numerous occasions. As for
the likes of you, you’d be long dead.”
The servant girls laughed but did not respond. Before she had ¤nished
speaking, the empress embraced Aocao tightly. Aocao’s chowry handle again
grew stiff and again they copulated. He thrust and drove several hundred
times with all his might. The empress’ body was exhausted, so once their de-
sires were satis¤ed they stopped.
One day it was reported from the rear garden that the peonies were in
bloom. The empress provided some wine and with Aocao went to enjoy the
¶owers. When she was half intoxicated, the empress said: “You are very vigor-
ous and possess great strength. Can you embrace me, walk, and do battle at the
same time?”
Aocao said: “Of course.”
They took off their lower garments and he had the empress embrace his
neck and place her legs around his waist. He inserted his chowry handle into
her vagina, circled the peony balustrade, then continued several paces and
temporarily came to a halt as singing girls played the new tune “Red Peonies
Fluttering on the Stairs.”129
They sipped from soft gold cups and dribbled into each other’s mouths.
In the yard there were two white deer and dancing cranes that became so stim-
ulated by the sight that they all copulated as well.130 Of those who were present,
there were none who did not cover their mouths in shock. The empress, how-
ever, maintained perfect composure.
On another evening the empress and Aocao had partied to excess. Shoul-
der to shoulder they slept embracing one another, and by midday they had still
not arisen. The empress said to Aocao: “Even if you had studied, passed the im-
perial examinations in the top grade, and reached the position of prime min-
ister you could never have received such special treatment. Your devotion to
me can be called complete. Your food, drink, and clothing are of imperial
quality. Nor is the way in which I have treated you neglectful. I would like to
156 Translation and Original Text

entitle you and distinguish you, but if you persist in so strenuously declining
such honors, I could enrich your brothers and your whole clan. I will not go
back on my word.”
Aocao said: “As I have said before, I am all by myself. Has Your Majesty for-
gotten? I have not advanced by way of talent and truly have no expectation of
riches or honor. I only have a hoard of sincerity that I have cultivated for a long
time. I do not wish to elude the executioner’s axe in saying this, but Your Maj-
esty will certainly not listen. If Your Majesty does happen to listen, even if it
were the day of my death it would seem like the era of my rebirth.”131
The empress said: “Pshaw! My Lord of Perfect Satisfaction, what are you
saying? I have already presented my body to you, how could you have some-
thing to say that I wouldn’t listen to?”
Aocao said: “Since Your Majesty has permitted me to speak, I should dare
to speak. For what offense has the crown prince been demoted to prince of
Luling and banished to Fang prefecture? Furthermore, recently I heard that
he has corrected his previous errors and has become a new man.132 All under
heaven say that Your Majesty intends to usurp the Tang. I fear that after your
thousand autumns and ten thousand years have expired, the calamity that be-
fell the Lü clan may occur.133 The hearts of the people do not yet despise the
Tang.134 Your Majesty should summon the prince of Luling immediately and
place him on the throne. Your Majesty could then preside in the palace with
folded arms. What pleasure could equal this?”
The empress looked perturbed.
Aocao said: “If Your Majesty does not accede, I request that my male mem-
ber be cut off to propitiate the people of the empire.” Suddenly he raised a
small dagger, turned it toward his chowry handle, and attempted to sever it.
The empress vigorously struggled to seize it, but the head of the chowry had
already been cut to a depth of about half an inch and blood ¶owed in a torrent.
The empress got up and used a clean silk cloth to wipe it dry, then blew
on it. She alternately wept and cursed, saying: “Silly child, how could you bring
yourself to do such a thing?”
Aocao said: “As for my being your child, I am only a temporary child.
Your Majesty has an imperial child who is Your Majesty’s own ¶esh and bone.
How can you stand to reject him?”
The empress’ heart was moved. From this time on Aocao often exhorted
her along the same lines, and afterward, having obtained the similar counsel
of Di Renjie, she summoned the prince of Luling to again be crown prince.135
Those inside and outside the court said that Aocao had long sullied the inner
chambers in the imperial palace, and all had wanted to seize an opportunity
to kill him. When they heard that he had rendered internal assistance to the
Tang, however, they praised him.
 Annotated Translation 157

In the second year of the Shengli reign period, the empress was seventy-
six years old.136 She was often ill and the amount she ate and drank had de-
creased. One day she said to Aocao: “You and I are quite compatible. For the
past several years we have been just like birds with wings overlapped or
branches growing entwined.137 But ¤ne things are not durable, and the road
to happiness is never smooth.138 I feel that my spirits are not nearly what they
used to be. What do you think?”
Aocao said: “Had Your Majesty not spoken I would not have dared to
open my mouth. Your Majesty is advanced in years and overindulgence in the
bedchamber does not seem to be the way to maintain good health. But should
you die one day, I would not be concerned about being entombed to follow
you to the underworld. My only fear is that my gross constitution would leave
a blemish on your imperial virtue.”
The empress said: “Yes, I will think about that for you.” After several more
days had passed she said: “I have a plan. Of all my nephews only the prince of
Wei, Wu Chengsi, is most virtuous.139 I love him dearly. He can take care of you
in his home. Wait until you hear news of my death. Then change your name
and you can be a very rich man in the area between the old states of Wu and
Shu.”140
The next day she summoned Chengsi and said: “I have favored Xue Ao-
cao, as you know, and I have loved you more than any of my sons. Today I am
consigning him to your home. Take good care of him. Do not inquire into
his comings and goings. If outsiders should learn of this, it would certainly
cause you trouble in the future.”
Chengsi was petri¤ed, and he said in response: “I would not dare contra-
vene your orders.”
That evening the empress ordered that wine be prepared in order to bid
farewell to Aocao. All such rarities as leopard placenta, camel hump, red
sheep tail, preserved green dragon meat, and the most precious delicacies
from water and land from the western extremes of Xiliang to as far south as
Siam were prepared, along with the most famous wines.141 The empress
poured Aocao a seven-jeweled gold cup to bid him farewell. With each cup
they spoke several words and then sobbed and wept profusely for a long time.
Aocao drank as much as he could until he was inebriated. Then he wept and
said: “After this time I will no longer hear the reverberation of your jade girdle
pendants. Your Majesty must eat well and take good care of yourself. If after
your ten thousand years have expired my humble debt of gratitude has not
yet been repaid, I hope that your fragrant spirit will descend into my dreams.
Then I could enjoy the illusion of serving you.”
When the empress heard this she wept even more bitterly. After some
time she forced herself to speak and said: “My Lord of Perfect Satisfaction is
158 Translation and Original Text

still healthy, do not be enamored of someone as decrepit as myself.” She said

to Aocao: “I hear that in love affairs among the people there is a custom of
making a scar by burning incense on their private parts, a custom that has
become a topic of conversation. Why should you and I not do this?”
Then she ordered that ambergris incense cakes be produced, and after
they had repeatedly bowed to heaven and pledged a vow, she burned a whole
cake on the head of Aocao’s chowry handle. The empress burned a cake on
her vulva as well and then said: “My relationship with you began in pain, why
should it not end with pain?”142
After they went to bed she said to Aocao: “Not even the great termination
of death itself surpasses this level of pain. Even if I were to die tonight I would
be a contented spirit.”
Then she ordered Aocao to recall in sequence all the positions for sexual
intercourse that they had tried in the past and ordered him to reenact them
one by one. Each was performed over ten times. By daylight they both lay ex-
hausted on the dragon comforter. That day he was given three hundred cat-
ties of yellow gold, one peck of pearls, equivalent amounts of coral, precious
jade, and ¤fty sets of clothing that were conveyed with him to the home of
Chengsi. She and Xue wept and bid each other farewell.
The empress then turned to Chengsi and said: “Serve Mr. Xue as you
would serve me.” After this time Chengsi served Aocao day and night very as-
siduously. At every banquet he had his favorite concubine Wen Boxiang sing
to cheer him up.143 Boxiang was a famous singing girl of Changan who later
became Chengsi’s concubine. She had always admired Aocao’s good looks,
demeanor, and endowments, and began to make eyes at him. In the middle
of the night she surreptitiously sought out Aocao and endeavored to copulate
with him. No matter what he did, though, he could not succeed in penetrat-
ing her but only managed to moisten the head of his organ. Boxiang’s pas-
sions were fully aroused, but all she could do was bite his shoulder and then
take her leave.
The empress’ incense-burning sores healed and her illness gradually sta-
bilized. She attended a party in the rear garden and noticed the talent and
beauty of the Zhang brothers. Involuntarily beset by a longing for their youth,
she summoned them into the palace and said to Changzong: “For the past sev-
eral years it is as if someone had cast a spell on me. Only today did I again be-
come aware of your existence.”
Changzong did not dare ask any questions. But in the midst of copulation
this one was shocked that the other was so small, and that one was shocked
that the other was so vast. They did their best to bring things to a fair conclu-
sion, but in the end they were not satis¤ed.144 Next she summoned Yizhi, but
it was just the same.
 Annotated Translation 159

More than a month later she then sent a young eunuch to the home of
Chengsi with a single lustrous pearl, ten red love beans, one hundred pieces
of ambergris incense, and a pair of golden mandarin ducks and had them se-
cretly delivered to Aocao together with a letter written on a piece of gold-
¶ecked imperial dragon phoenix paper that said:

In the past we hurriedly bid farewell.145 To think about this carefully, it causes
distressing sighs.146 Every time I drink by myself on a ¤ne spring day, and sleep
by myself on a moonlit night, I realize that, though surrounded by beauties, I
lack a soul mate and glistening tears appear on my gown and table. The days
gone by were so happy, today is so sad. The nights gone by were so short, tonight
is so long. In the blink of an eye we were as far apart as heaven and earth, in no
time at all we were suddenly as distant as Hu and Yue. What is man’s allotted
span that he should endure living separation? Today I have sent a letter to com-
municate that on a night in which there is a full moon, I am sending a small ox-
cart to convey you through the Gate of Expectant Spring so that you may stay a
few days in order to complete our yet unful¤lled fate and furthermore make a
tryst to be lovers in the life to come. Do not say “How could there not be other
men?”147 I can see you if I stand on the tips of my toes.148 The purport of the
works I have quoted is such that I need say no more.

At the bottom of the letter was also appended a poem that said:

Seeing vermilion turn into emerald,

my thoughts are in confusion;
Made haggard by this separation,
I often think of you.
If you don’t believe that of late
my tears fall constantly;
Open the chest and examine
my pomegranate red skirt.149

Aocao wept as he read. He wrote a response to the empress and gave it to the
young eunuch. After he had left, Aocao sighed and said: “If I enter the palace
again I will certainly never leave. When you see an opportunity you should
seize it and not wait an entire day, isn’t that right?150 Now I have escaped the
burning house.”151 At night, without letting Chengsi know, he assembled a
small amount of gold and other valuables and then appropriated his host’s
thousand-li horse and left through the western gate.
Chengsi was petri¤ed. He dispatched horsemen to search in all four di-
rections, but they could not locate him. This was explained completely in a
memorial to the throne that pleaded for mercy. The empress could only sigh
with anguish. Changzong understood the empress’ intentions and parted
160 Translation and Original Text

with ten thousand pieces of gold to search the South Seas for a unique med-
icine. He consumed it and along with Yizhi cultivated his turtle stalk. After
one month they were again presented and regained their great favor.
In the empress’ ¤nal year they were killed beside the imperial curtains
by the crown prince and Prime Minister Zhang. Then their limbs and bodies
were butchered and torn to pieces.152
After the crown prince ascended the throne he was grateful to Aocao and
tried to locate him, but was unsuccessful.
Afterward, in the middle of the Tianbao reign period,153 people in the
city of Chengdu saw him. Dressed in bird feathers with a yellow cap, he had a
child’s face and black hair like someone about twenty years old. People say
that he had found the way, and so forth. Afterward, nothing was known of his
ultimate fate.

End of The Story of Passion in the Boudoir

[Postscript]

Is not the relationship between the histories and novels similar to that be-
tween the classics and their commentaries? What is latent in the classics is
made manifest by the commentaries, as in the case of the inner and outer
stories of Emperor Wu of the Han dynasty and Zhao Feiyan.154 It is as if the
secret circumstances of the inner chambers were made visible before us today
and suf¤ce to make manifest what is latent in the histories; this is of course like
the classics having commentaries. Recently I obtained the Story of Empress Ze-
tian’s Lord of Perfect Satisfaction. It relates events very circumstantially and the
words are polished and uniquely colorful. Compared to these other tales it is
more pleasurable by far. Therefore I have published it in my shop in order to
provide a topic of conversation for the inquisitive.

Spring of the year kanoe tatsu,

Sôyô, Yanagi Hyakusei155
[Colophon]

The rabbit garden collection of books156

Thirteenth year (mizunoto hitsuji) of the Hôryaku reign period157

Nihonbashi south road, 3rd street158

Ogawa Hikokurô159
Eastern Capital bookstore Dôshôshichi