CHAPTER 4

The Four Most Important Resources

I n this chapter I introduce you to the four most important resources,

those most commonly used and accessible:

• Safe or peaceful place

• Nurturing figures
• Protector figures
• Inner wisdom figures

I find it helpful to install/tap in the first three resources with all of my

clients, regardless of their presenting problems, and use the fourth for
my most traumatized clients. By doing so I get a picture of clients' inner
capacity, resilience, areas of strengths, and areas that need strengthen-
ing. I am able to assess readiness to begin EMDR trauma processing
work. I am often surprised at the resources clients come up with, even
those with severe trauma and neglect in their histories. I can also be
taken aback by a client who seems stronger than he or she is, and who
struggles to find any kind of nurturer or protector. In these cases it may
be that the client has always coped on his or her own, without help from
others. By locating and tapping in these resources before you need to
utilize them with the client, you are consciously developing and placing
these most important and useful tools where you can find them. In some
cases you may want to summon one of these resources as an interweave
if your client is stuck and looping. I tap in the resources for very trau-
matized clients before beginning EMDR each time, as a way of creating
46 Attachment-Focused EMDR

a safety net that helps them feel more contained. They can even imagine We may begin sessions wit
their resource figures with them as they process the traumas. Tapping in our clients can go to during di
these essential resources creates a foundation of safety and stabilization a sense of control, or use it to
for the work. For some clients with severe trauma and neglect, much who need to develop more of
time can be taken developing and tapping in these resources. sion can begin and end with 1
I have found that installing imagined safe/peaceful places and nur- the sense that they are the s<
turing and protector figures in the beginning of treatment helps to cre- hold onto the peaceful place
ate a stronger container for the trauma processing work. I believe that practice going to their safe/p
because we have stimulated the memory networks where these resources of self-soothing, and can eve
reside, the client has easier access to them, and can even sense them in safe/peaceful place can also b
the background when he or she begins the trauma processing work. ent's resource figures to add e
Some clients require only a few minutes identifying and installing these You and your client work 1
resources during one session. If a client is able to easily locate and install You adapt the safe/peaceful
them, we may only need to do this one time. That way I know he or she needs. What is important to ,
has the ego strength and the resources readily available if an interweave peace and calm where your cl
is necessary. We may never refer to their resources again for many cli- triggers to emotional upset? 1
ents because the processing moves along without the use of interweaves. location or a completely imag:
For other clients, because these resources have been installed, they come nature, such as a beautiful be<
up in their processing and link up as interweaves the client does him- or arms of a large mother bear a
herself. For example, a client might "pull in" his best friend to protect tionship and the therapist's o
his child self. place. In addition, art can be l
place. Clients can draw the pl<
Before beginning the safe/p
THE SAFE/PEACEFUL PLACE RESOURCE clients enter a state of genera
Part of the client preparation before beginning the reprocessing work is relaxation exercises. Or, they
to help clients establish a place where they can go in their imagination people can contact an image'
to feel comfortable and relaxed ... a place they can imagine that evokes requiring little preparation. Th
a feeling of safety and peacefulness. In the early years of EMDR, and for relaxation depends on the {
in my earlier writings, I described the use of a safe place. However, I It is helpful to activate th{
have found that for clients who have had extensive childhood trauma place imagery. You might ask
and neglect, the word safe evokes just the opposite: the absence of safety. you smell? What do you hear? '
For most clients these days, I use the term peaceful place as an alternative have a good sense of it now?'
to safe place. The point is to identify a place that when evoked imagina- when you can really feel your
tively, creates a sense of relaxation and a decrease in sympathetic activity yes, I begin a short sequence
in the nervous system. If your client responds well to the term safe, use might ask, "Is it getting strong
it; if not, find alternatives. Many EMDR therapists mistakenly believe the BLS. I watch my client for ~
that if their clients cannot find a safe place, they cannot use EMDR with agitation. If the client's breath:
them. I have done very successful EMDR with clients who could not ask him or her what is happe
find a safe place, but could imagine peaceful, relaxing, calm places, or works quite well to install th{
conflict-free images. some clients, the BLS opens up
 The Four Most Important Resources 47

::mtained. They can even imagine We may begin sessions with the safe or peaceful place, use it as a place
process the traumas. Tapping in our clients can go to during difficult processing to take a break and regain
lation of safety and stabilization a sense of control, or use it to close down incomplete sessions. For clients
~vere trauma and neglect, much who need to develop more of a sense of self-constancy, each EMDR ses-
ng in these resources. sion can begin and end with the peaceful place. This repetition increases
:d safe/peaceful places and nur- the sense that they are the same person in different situations and can
nning of treatment helps to ere- hold onto the peaceful place at home between sessions. Clients can also
. processing work. I believe that practice going to their safe/peaceful place between sessions as a means
networks where these resources of self-soothing, and can even use it before going to sleep at night. The
em, and can even sense them in safe/peaceful place can also be imagined as the gathering spot for the cli-
s the trauma processing work. ent's resource figures to add extra safety and support.
identifying and installing these You and your client work together to develop the safe/peaceful place.
s able to easily locate and install You adapt the safe/peaceful place instructions for each client's unique
ime. That way I know he or she needs. What is important to achieve? Do you want to create a place of
~adily available if an interweave peace and calm where your client can tum off the outside world and the
r resources again for many cli- triggers to emotional upset? The safe/peaceful place can be a real-world
without the use of interweaves. location or a completely imaginary place. Many people choose a place in
s have been installed, they come nature, such as a beautiful beach or mountain lake. One client chose the
:rweaves the client does him- or arms of a large mother bear as her peaceful place. The therapeutic rela-
JI in" his best friend to protect tionship and the therapist's office can also be used as the safe/peaceful
place. In addition, art can be used to create or enhance the safe/peaceful
place. Clients can draw the place and then tap it in with BLS.
Before beginning the safe/peaceful place experience, you can help your
~ACE RESOURCE clients enter a state of general relaxation by using a variety of known
inning the reprocessing work is relaxation exercises. Or, they may have their own way to relax. Some
ey can go in their imagination people can contact an image and feeling of a safe/peaceful place easily,
:e they can imagine that evokes requiring little preparation. This is very individual and the time necessary
he early years of EMDR, and for relaxation depends on the emotional/bodily state of the client.
se of a safe place. However, I It is helpful to activate the senses associated with the safe/peaceful
d extensive childhood trauma place imagery. You might ask your client, "What do you see? What do
opposite: the absence of safety. you smell? What do you hear? What do you feel?" Then I'll ask, "Do you
peaceful place as an alternative have a good sense of it now?" Or I'll simply comment, "Let me know
tee that when evoked imagina- when you can really feel your peaceful place." When the client signals
ecrease in sympathetic activity yes, I begin a short sequence of BLS, maybe 6 to 12, to install this. I
:mds well to the term safe, use might ask, "Is it getting stronger?" If it is, I might go a little longer with
. therapists mistakenly believe the BLS. I watch my client for signs of deepening relaxation or increased
:, they cannot use EMDR with agitation. If the client's breathing increases, I will stop immediately and
R with clients who could not ask him or her what is happening. Though for many clients, the BLS
eful, relaxing, calm places, or works quite well to install the feeling and imagery more securely, for
some clients, the BLS opens up processing of traumatic material. Clients

.J.
r
48 Attachment-Focused EMDR

who have had many unsafe experiences may begin to associate to those
experiences if the word safe was used. If this happens, stop the BLS and TAPPING I~
explore with the client what he or she is experiencing. You may need to 1. "Close your eyes and
develop another safe place using imagery only or use the word peaceful use another method to
or comfortable instead. I have worked with some clients who flipped to moment."
2. "Now that you are relaxe
the negative so quickly, I could never use BLS to install the safe or peace-
ful and comfortable, a
ful place. With them, I use imagery only. As with everything in EMDR
1

ease."
therapy, stay closely attuned to your clients and accommodate what you
3. After finding the place, E
do according to their needs.
"What do you see?"
You may want to focus even more attention on making their safe/
"What do you hear?"
peaceful place feel secure for clients who have been traumatized or are
"What do you smell?"
anxious and stressed. If you feel the need for extra safety, you can ask "What do you feel?"
your clients to imagine putting a protective barrier around their safe/
4. "When you have a stron~
peaceful place, made of anything they wish. They might imagine a pro-
5. "If you feel distress ore.
tective shield around it, like from Star Trek, or imagine fierce protectors ery, signal me, and we w
guarding it. 6. You can use a cue won
Shapiro (2001) recommends the use of a cue word with the installa- example, if your client's
tion of the safe place. For example, if the client's safe place is a beach, imagine the beach with·
she can imagine the beach and say the word beach as she receives the say to him- or herself b
BLS to install it. Then between sessions she can practice using the safe/ this, the cue word becor
peaceful place imagery and cue word during times of anxiety or distress. and comfort that the pea
For instance, if she has to make a speech and is anxious about it, she can ety or distress, you can
say the word beach to herself and imagine her safe place. place imagery and the cu
In the next box is a summary of what a therapist might say to a cli- a speech and are anxiou~
ine your safe/peaceful pl
ent during the process of creating and tapping in a safe/peaceful place
7. "Remember that this is
resource.
whenever you would like
The following material is a script for developing a peaceful place for
and imagine your specia
clients who need more guidance (see Parnell, 2007). Begin this script yourself as you imagine y
after the client is in a relaxed state. strengthen your connecti
*Reprinted with permission fro
"With your eyes closed, imagine yourself now in a beautiful, peaceful
place. ... This might be somewhere you've visited before or some-
where you just make up in your imagination. ... Just let the image of a movie . . . read about ... ,
the place come to you . ... It really doesn't matter what kind of place place ... a place you know .
you imagine as long as it's beautiful, quiet, peaceful. and serene. ... "Let yourself explore a;
Let this be a special inner place for you ... somewhere that you feel place you go to as if you 11'
particularly at ease ... a place where you feel safe and secure ... at there ... what sounds you ,
one with your surroundings. ... Maybe you've had a place like this in sense there. ... Notice espc
your life . .. somewhere to go to be quiet and reflective . .. somewhere immerse yourself in the bel
special and healing for you . ... Or it could be a place you've seen in being secure and at ease.
 The Four Most Important Resources 49

; may begin to associate to those

f this happens, stop the BLS and TAPPING IN THE PEACEFUL PLACE*
s experiencing. You may need to 1. "Close your eyes and go inside. Do deep, slow breathing or
:ry only or use the word peaceful use another method to calm yourself and come to the present
with some clients who flipped to moment."
~ BLS to install the safe or peace- 2. "Now that you are relaxed, imagine a place where you feel peace-
y. As with everything in EMDR ful and comfortable, a place where you can feel relaxed and at
~nts and accommodate what you ease."
3. After finding the place, enhance it using the senses:

attention on making their safe/ "What do you see?"

LO have been traumatized or are
"What do you hear?"
"What do you smell?"
:ed for extra safety, you can ask
"What do you feel?"
:ctive barrier around their safe/
vish. They might imagine a pro- 4. "When you have a strong positive feeling, I'll begin the BLS."
5. "If you feel distress or experience the intrusion of negative imag-
'rek, or imagine fierce protectors
ery, signal me, and we will stop the BLS immediately."
6. You can use a cue word as you tap in the peaceful place. For
of a cue word with the installa- example, if your client's peaceful place is a beach, he or she can
b.e client's safe place is a beach, imagine the beach with the associated feelings of relaxation, and
word beach as she receives the say to him- or herself beach as you add the BLS. When you do
she can practice using the safe/ this, the cue word becomes linked with the feelings of relaxation
·ing times of anxiety or distress. and comfort that the peaceful place evokes. During times of anxi-
and is anxious about it, she can ety or distress, you can instruct your client to use the peaceful
e her safe place. place imagery and the cue word. For instance, if you have to make
t a therapist might say to a cli- a speech and are anxious, you can say the word beach and imag-
apping in a safe/peaceful place ine your safe/peaceful place to elicit a feeling of calm.
7. "Remember that this is your peaceful place. You can contact it
ieveloping a peaceful place for whenever you would like. All you have to do is close your eyes
and imagine your special place. You can repeat your cue word to
Lrnell, 2007). Begin this script
yourself as you imagine your peaceful place and tap to access and
strengthen your connection to it."

(now in a beautiful, peaceful *Reprinted with permission from Sounds True, Inc.

1u've visited before or some-

'ion . ... Just let the image of a movie ... read about ... or just dreamed of ... It could be a real
1't matter what kind ofplace place ... a place you know ... or an imaginary place ....
•et, peaceful. and serene. ... "Let yourself explore and experience whatever quiet, imaginary
... somewhere that you feel place you go to as if you were there now. ... Notice what you see
u feel safe and secure ... at there ... what sounds you hear ... even the smells and aroma you
·ou've had a place like this in sense there. ... Notice especially what it feels like to be there, and
ind reflective . .. somewhere immerse yourself in the beauty, the feelings of peacefulness ... of
tld be a place you've seen in being secure and at ease.
50 Attachment-Focused EMDR

'~s you explore this special inner place, find a spot that feels par- They can make it as safe and
ticularly good to be in ... a spot where you feel especially calm ... put a protective barrier arou
centered . .. safe and at ease. ... Let yourself become comfortable in Some people find that tl
this spot. ... Let this be your safe place. ... Let this be your power draw the safe/peaceful place
spot ... a place in which you draw from the deep sense of peaceful- a reminder of their safe/pea<
ness and safety you feel here. ... Now just let yourself experience feel the need.
what it is like to be in this place. ... (Wait a few moments before
beginning again, keeping your voice lower than usual because the
TAPPING IN THE SAFE/f
client is in a deeper relaxed state.)
"Keeping your eyes closed . .. would you describe this place? (At 1. Get a piece of blank pa
this point begin BLS. Depending on the response, ask a few ques- whatever medium you v.
tions to help strengthen the imagery. The therapist can use short 2. Say to your client: "Clos
where you feel safe and~
sets of BLS after the client responds to questions.)
3. "When the image comE
"What season of the year is it? . .. What time of day is it? ...
yourself or judge your a
What aromas do you smell? . .. What sounds do you hear? . .. How
expressed on the page.
are you dressed? ... How are you experiencing your safe place? visual representation, e1
"As you relax and are aware of how it feels to be here . .. tell make. What do you nee,
yourself you can return anytime you wish. ... This is your special 4. "Now, when you have cc
place ... a place where safety, rest, and peace are always available take in the feelings it e\
at your own choosing. ... If you like, you can choose a cue word that it, even guardians to me
will help you to remember your safe place. (Therapist adds more 5. "Close your eyes and h
BLS as client says cue word to him- or herself.) In the future you begin the BLS now. I'll
can say this word to bring back the feelings of your special place. positive feelings."
"When you are ready, slowly open your eyes and come back to
the room." The main purpose of the 1
of calming the nervous syste1
other ways to accomplish thi
Using Art to Enhance the Peaceful Place
Art can be used to create or enhance the peaceful place. Drawing the
A Sac
peaceful place can give it more substance for your clients. This is their
special place and they can make it any way they wish. When they draw, A variant on the safe/peacefu
the connection to it may strengthen, and they can add details to their nell, 2008). Instead of focusi
picture to make it even more secure. the emphasis is on the feelin:
If they have difficulty finding their own safe/peaceful place, suggest there is a feeling of spiritual
that they draw a "safe island." Find a piece of paper large enough for have been to or a place they
them to stand in the middle of it. Butcher-block paper can be used. They ful, but also a sense of some
can stand in the center of the paper and draw a large circle around them- sacred places are the Chartre
selves. This is their safe island, which they can create in any way they a meditation cave in the Hin
would like. They can put anything and anyone they want on the island. spiritual teacher, or a sacred •
 The Four Most Important Resources 51

race, find a spot that feels par- They can make it as safe and peaceful as they want. If they like, they can
? you feel especially calm ... put a protective barrier around the island and encircle it with guardians.
1urself become comfortable in Some people find that their sense of comfort increases when they
:e. ... Let this be your power draw the safe/peaceful place. Afterward they can use their drawing as
n the deep sense of peaceful- a reminder of their safe/peaceful place that they can tap whenever they
v just let yourself experience feel the need.
Wait a few moments before
ower than usual because the
TAPPING IN THE SAFE/PEACEFUL PLACE THROUGH DRAWING

d you describe this place? (At 1. Get a piece of blank paper and use markers, crayons, pastels, or
he response, ask a few ques- whatever medium you wish to use.
The therapist can use short 2. Say to your client: "Close your eyes and go inside. Imagine a place
o questions.) where you feel safe and secure, a place that is serene and peacefu I."
3. "When the image comes to you, begin to draw it. Don't censor
. What time of day is it? ...
yourself or judge your artistic skills. Just allow what comes to be
>ounds do you hear? . .. How
expressed on the page. It is most important to create some kind of
riencing your safe place? visual representation, even if it looks like a drawing a child would
1w it feels to be here . . . tell
make. What do you need to make it as safe as you would like?"
1
ish. . . . This is your special 4. "Now, when you have completed the drawing, take a look at it and
d peace are always available take in the feelings it evokes. Add whatever else you would like to
1u can choose a cue word that it, even guardians to make it more protected."
1lace. (Therapist adds more 5. "Close your eyes and hold the image in your mind. I'm going to
)r herself) In the future you begin the BLS now. I'll continue as long as it strengthens your
ings of your special place. positive feelings."
your eyes and come back to
The main purpose of the peaceful place is to help clients find a means
of calming the nervous system, a self-control technique. There are many
other ways to accomplish this same purpose.
Peaceful Place
e peaceful place. Drawing the
A Sacred Place Variation
e for your clients. This is their
ay they wish. When they draw, A variant on the safe/peaceful place resource is the sacred place (see Par-
l they can add details to their nell, 2008). Instead of focusing on the sense of safety or peacefulness,
the emphasis is on the feeling of sacredness in the space, a place where
vn safe/peaceful place, suggest there is a feeling of spirituality. The sacred place can be a place clients
ece of paper large enough for have been to or a place they can imagine. In this place they feel peace-
·block paper can be used. They ful, but also a sense of something larger than themselves. Examples of
raw a large circle around them- sacred places are the Chartre Cathedral, the Hopi mesas, a Navajo kiva,
ey can create in any way they a meditation cave in the Himalayas, sitting in a meditation hall with a
tyone they want on the island. spiritual teacher, or a sacred landscape, such as the Grand Canyon.
52 Attachment-Focused EMDR

Positive Memories or Conflict-Free Images as Variations

STEPS TO DEVELOP AND l
Clients can bring up memories of doing something that they find com-
forting or relaxing that bring them pleasure as an alternative to the safe/ 1. Help the client identify
peaceful place image (see Parnell, 2007). The idea is to find images of tions or making stateme
doing things that will help clients relax their nervous systems. Many peo- life do you feel wholly y
ple who have experienced early traumatization develop nervous systems feel entirely free to eng;
that are attuned only to potentially dangerous stimuli, thus totally miss- when your body felt mo~
do not have any fear or ,
ing, or not registering in their memories, ordinary, nontraumatic daily
your energy is engaged
life experiences that would counter their perception of the world as an
only positive (or neutral)
entirely dangerous place (McFarlane et al., 1993). For that reason, the 2. Help the client select an
development of positive images and mindfulness practices catalyzes new of functioning and evoke
neural pathways in the brain and serves as an important ego-strength- image, using BLS, with
ening method. 3. The client must be able
Phillips (1997a, 1997b) suggests that clients install positive, confiict- tive manner and actual
free images derived from experiences in their everyday life when they felt sets. If this does not ha1
present and whole. It can be a real experience from the person's daily 4. Listen for and identify p
life, such as gardening, stroking a cat, or walking in a park. The image is 5. Have the client practicE
strengthened by asking for sensory details and then installing them via to manage distressing a
BLS. It is important to emphasize the somatic component of the imag- example, the client may
to sleep, making a publi
ery. You want clients to feel free of anxiety and fear. The conflict-free
image helps to create a sense of wholeness and increased feeling in cli- *©Maggie Phillips. Reprinted
ents that their life is not all terrible. It helps with self-soothing and affect
regulation. The following are examples of images clients have used: the past, inner guides, and animal
memory of baking bread, hiking in the mountains, sitting at a sushi bar, resource figures that we tap in
riding a horse, having a meal with a friend, playing with a kitten or puppy, the desired qualities in the di
watching baby ducks on a lake, walking among spring flowers, playing ine something, the nervous s;
a musical instrument, cuddling with their children or grandchildren, or When my client can imagine ;:
playing a musical instrument. Installing positive memories and images herself, whether she is conscio
can be helpful for clients who are chronically depressed or have histories ing mother is within her (whic
of serious abuse or neglect. As I mentioned earlier, many of these clients has created her). We aren't ta
do not attend to positive or neutral stimuli. They have developed a kind her into our client; rather we
of tunnel vision. Installing conflict-free images can help these clients mother in our client's own ner
begin to broaden their perceptual field, adding in new neuro networks. BLS. When we add BLS to th~
healing imagery more fully irn
During the history taking
NURTURING FIGURES
client's past who were loving, ~
I have found it to be very helpful for clients to identify nurturing fig- be a parent or stepparent, sil
ures to use as resources before beginning EMDR processing. These teacher, coach, doctor, couns(
inner allies can include real or imaginary figures from the present or was an important source of c
 The Four Most Important Resources 53

'ree Images as Variations

STEPS TO DEVELOP AND USE POSITIVE, CONFLICT-FREE IMAGES*
~something that they find com-
mre as an alternative to the safel 1. Help the client identify the conflict-free image by asking ques-
). The idea is to find images of tions or making statements such as the following: "Where in your
1eir nervous systems. Many peo- life do you feel wholly yourself? Is there an activity in which you
ization develop nervous systems feel entirely free to engage? Think of a time in your everyday life
when your body felt most like just the way you want it to feel. You
~erous stimuli, thus totally miss-
do not have any fear or anxiety. This should be a time when all of
:s, ordinary, nontraumatic daily
your energy is engaged in a positive manner and you experience
r perception of the world as an only positive (or neutral) feelings about yourself and in your body."
al., 1993). For that reason, the 2. Help the client select an image that represents a conflict-free area
dfulness practices catalyzes new of functioning and evokes completely positive feelings. Install this
; as an important ego-strength- image, using BLS, with the associated body sensations.
3. The client must be able to hold this image in a consistently posi-
clients install positive, confiict- tive manner and actually strengthen the image throughout the
heir everyday life when they felt sets. If this does not happen, return to the second step.
erience from the person's daily
1 4. Listen for and identify positive cognitions that emerge.
walking in a park. The image is 5. Have the client practice using this technique between sessions
ils and then installing them via to manage distressing affect related to his or her symptoms. For
)matic component of the imag- example, the client may want to bring up the image before going
to sleep, making a public presentation, and so forth.
jety and fear. The conflict-free
ess and increased feeling in cli- *© Maggie Phillips. Reprinted with permission.
ps with self-soothing and affect
)f images clients have used: the past, inner guides, and animals that have a nurturing quality. With all the
11ountains, sitting at a sushi bar, resource figures that we tap in, the idea is to evoke imagery that activates
, playing with a kitten or puppy, the desired qualities in the client's own nervous system. When we imag-
. among spring flowers, playing ine something, the nervous systems "lights up" in a particular pattern .
.r children or grandchildren, or When my client can imagine a loving mother, she feels those qualities in
positive memories and images herself, whether she is conscious of that process or not. It's as if that lov-
:ally depressed or have histories ing mother is within her (which she is, because it is her imagination that
ed earlier, many of these clients has created her). We aren't taking an outside mother figure and putting
ili. They have developed a kind her into our client; rather we are activating those qualities of a loving
images can help these clients mother in our client's own nervous system by the use of imagination and
dding in new neuro networks. BLS. When we add BLS to these imagined figures, we are integrating this
healing imagery more fully into their neuro networks.
During the history taking, you can look for those people from the
[GURES
client's past who were loving, safe, nurturing figures for them. There may
ients to identify nurturing fig- be a parent or stepparent, sibling, grandparent, nanny, aunt or uncle,
ing EMDR processing. These teacher, coach, doctor, counselor, friend's parent, or clergy person who
ry figures from the present or was an important source of caring for the client. Sometimes it's a one-
54 Attachment-Focused EMDR

time experience of being seen and understood by someone (as occurred The adult self can be use
for Monica, in the case example with the social worker in Chapter 3), or mends installing a nurturing
it can be a vicarious experience of someone else receiving nurturing from opmental needs. She has ere:
this person. Occasionally the client will want to install you, the therapist, in which the client connects
as nurturer. I find this to be an honor and an indication that the client has compassion, confidence, cou
received and internalized my caring. In these cases, in order to decrease they have, or can form, a me
the dependency on me, I try to get other resources as well. Often when clients often use their nurtur:
I'm doing adjunctive work, clients choose their primary therapist as a evoke this part in my clients
nurturing or protector figure, or both. I encourage this as it decreases nurtured someone or sometb
the likelihood of splitting and helps the client to incorporate the other a relative, a friend, or even a
therapist into his or her work in a healthy way. self." Once clients have a stn
If clients choose their mother or father, I may discourage them from the BLS.
that choice if I suspect that the parent will be involved negatively in some For clients who have alwa
way in the trauma network, such as when I know that the parents were had anyone take care of the1
neglectful or abusive. Sometimes clients feel loyal to their parents, or they addition to their adult self. It
dissociate the abuse to the extent that they will try to use them as resources. ing qualities.
We need to protect clients from using someone or something that is not Animals can be valuable r
healthy. If I allow the parents to function as resources because I believe from the client's present or p:
that they may be appropriate, I try to have additional resources as back- the client has a special affinit:
ups because of the possibility that the parents will be associated with the ent dogs or cats as nurturer
trauma or with a disappointment of some kind. For example, a client may only source of comfort and 1
want to use her mother as a nurturer, but her mother did not protect her times people have a special c
from her father's abuse. In this case her mother failed her as a nurturer- lion, panther, coyote, eagle) tl
information that is probably not integrated into the client's neural nets. (Harner, 1980). Some have u:
There may be people from clients' current lives who are important as resources.
resources for them, such as a current spouse, partner, friend, or lover. I try to find more than orn
They can even use figures from movies, TV, or books, historical fig- neglect, as each figure has a c
ures, or people from popular culture. Clients have chosen Atticus Finch my client is working on mem
(Gregory Peck), the father in the film To Kill a Mockingbird, as a nur- a nurturing figure or figures t
turing figure, and Aibileen (Viola Davis), the nanny in the movie The Together we compile a lis
Help. Spiritual figures can also be used as nurturers, such as Quan Yin, one at a time. I begin with th~
Tara, Mary, Jesus, Moses, a Native American elder, or an angel. The and bring up the image as stn
same figure can be used as a nurturing figure, a protector figure, and a her nurturing aspect. When Y'
wise figure. I begin the BLS. I might ask
For clients with significant attachment trauma from neglect or abuse, when she feels the sense of m
and those who never experienced attachment to a healthy caregiver, I next one on the list and ask
work with them to create and tap in an ideal mother. This is the mother in his nurturing aspect. When
they wish they'd had, a mother who can love and care for them in a con- tional devotion, I add the Bl
sistent, healthy way. I explain more about this important resource figure I have found it challenginJ
in the next chapter. to come up with nurturing f
 The Four Most Important Resources 55

·stood by someone (as occurred The adult self can be used as a nurturer too. Schmidt (2002) recom-
: social worker in Chapter 3), or mends installing a nurturing adult self for clients who have unmet devel-
ne else receiving nurturing from opmental needs. She has created a protocol for enhancing this ego state
rant to install you, the therapist, in which the client connects with his or her innate qualities of empathy,
an indication that the client has compassion, confidence, courage, strength, and so on. She asks clients if
:hese cases, in order to decrease they have, or can form, a mental picture of that part of themselves. My
r resources as well. Often when clients often use their nurturing adult selves as one of their figures. I can
1se their primary therapist as a evoke this part in my clients by asking them to recall a time when they
[ encourage this as it decreases nurtured someone or something. It can be caring for their own children,
client to incorporate the other a relative, a friend, or even a pet. I'll say: "This is your nurturing adult
yway. self." Once clients have a strong sense of this inner component, we add
er, I may discourage them from the BLS.
J be involved negatively in some For clients who have always taken care of themselves, and have never
n I know that the parents were had anyone take care of them, I try to find another nurturing figure in
~el loyal to their parents, or they addition to their adult self. It can be anyone or anything that has nurtur-
will try to use them as resources. ing qualities.
meone or something that is not Animals can be valuable resources for some clients. These can be pets
1 as resources because I believe from the client's present or past (e.g., a loving dog) or animals for which
re additional resources as back- the client has a special affinity. Many clients have used their past or pres-
rents will be associated with the ent dogs or cats as nurturers. Sometimes an affectionate dog was the
kind. For example, a client may only source of comfort and nurturance the client had as a child. Some-
her mother did not protect her times people have a special connection with an animal (e.g., wolf, bear,
other failed her as a nurturer- lion, panther, coyote, eagle) that may carry the numen of a power animal
d into the client's neural nets. (Harner, 1980). Some have used mythological creatures such as dragons
trrent lives who are important as resources.
ouse, partner, friend, or lover. I try to find more than one figure for clients with histories of abuse or
, TV, or books, historical fig- neglect, as each figure has a different feeling and fills a different need. If
~nts have chosen Atticus Finch my client is working on memories from childhood, I will ask him to find
) Kill a Mockingbird, as a nur- a nurturing figure or figures that can comfort and care for his child self.
), the nanny in the movie The Together we compile a list of nurturing figures and then tap them in
s nurturers, such as Quan Yin, one at a time. I begin with the first one, asking the client to close her eyes
erican elder, or an angel. The and bring up the image as strongly as she can. "See your grandmother in
gure, a protector figure, and a her nurturing aspect. When you can feel that, let me know." At that point
I begin the BLS. I might ask the client to tell me when it feels complete,
, trauma from neglect or abuse, when she feels the sense of nurturing more deeply. I then move on to the
ment to a healthy caregiver, I next one on the list and ask the client to imagine her dog, for example,
leal mother. This is the mother in his nurturing aspect. When she has a good sense of the dog's uncondi-
)Ve and care for them in a con- tional devotion, I add the BLS.
this important resource figure I have found it challenging for many clients who have been neglected
to come up with nurturing figures. I need to work with them to come
56 Attachment-Focused EMDR

up with someone or something that has a nurturing quality. I help these For clients who have diffi
clients by offering suggestions. In one case the woman came up with the key to let them know that thf
actress Meryl Streep as her nurturing figure. She could imagine her as a them. What is important is t
loving mother who could provide her infant self with the love and atten- that has a nurturing quality. l
tion she needed to develop in a healthy way. Another woman struggled neglected and abused clients
to find anyone at all. We searched through her history, current relation- they never have. It can brini
ships, and even figures from movies. Finally we came up with a figure the feelings of neglect. I belie
from The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd, a book that has a pow- that has a nurturing quality,
erful, nurturing woman named August as one of its primary characters. them, they will have more ac
This woman had the capacity to nurture her child self. When we found able to use it as a nurturing
this figure, it was as if a light had come on inside of her. The image of tially, however, I just want th
August became essential to our EMDR work. Not only did the sense of However, if they can im<
her presence create a stronger container, but she was used in interweaves that is excellent-use it, inst<:
to nurture the child self. with our clients and help thf
A woman I worked with in a live demonstration at a master thera- they begin. You might sugge~
pist workshop I taught demonstrating AF-EMDR (Cassidy Seminars, by his nurturing figure. As h
San Francisco, 2010) told me, when we attempted to find nurturing fig- held, add BLS.
ures, that there were none-she had never been loved or nurtured in I have seen clients comet
her life. Undaunted by what she told me (I am always sure we will find of. For instance, several clier
something, somehow), together we scanned through her life looking turing figures. They told me t
for any experiences she might draw from of being loved or nurtured, or daughters to nurture their
any examples of observing this, or even giving love or nurturing herself. her parents when they were
Finally, she said, "The only thing I have is a memory of an experience child and they were young a
of God as a loving presence." I told her that was great, and to bring up nurturing her. But over time 1
the memory as strongly as she could, and when she had it I would tap people she could imagine ca
on her knees. As I tapped on her knees she had a powerful experience client's mother was dysfunct
of love and light suffusing her entire body. She seemed to glow. She felt got therapy and became a cl
full of this love. I could feel it too. I kept tapping for several minutes as was able to install her mothe1
the feeling kept getting stronger. After we finished and took a break, a Sometimes tapping in th1
woman from the audience who was inspired by what she had witnessed feelings of grief and loss for v
came up to her and asked her if she could give her a hug. She said yes it is important to validate th
and received this woman's warm embrace. After the embrace they gazed clients with our compassion.
at one another and chatted for a short time. I could see something spe- get this as children, they can
cial transmit between them. When the client and I resumed our work imagination to create what tl
for the next part of the workshop, I reviewed the resources. Along with With some clients who co1
God as a loving presence, she now wanted to tap in the woman who them if they could remember
had embraced her. This woman became a nurturing figure, a physical ture another person or even
manifestation of the loving God for her that was easily accessible and access the nurturing quality v
very real for her. they could bring that in for ti
 The Four Most Important Resources 57

a nurturing quality. I help these For clients who have difficulty finding nurturing figures, I think it is
tse the woman came up with the key to let them know that they don't have to imagine the figure nurturing
~ure. She could imagine her as a them. What is important is that they can imagine someone or something
'ant self with the love and atten- that has a nurturing quality. It is just too much of a stretch for our most
way. Another woman struggled neglected and abused clients to imagine that they can be nurtured, when
gh her history, current relation- they never have. It can bring up strong feelings of failure and amplify
nally we came up with a figure the feelings of neglect. I believe that by imagining someone or something
11k Kidd, a book that has a pow- that has a nurturing quality, and thereby activating that quality within
lS one of its primary characters. them, they will have more access to this resource and will eventually be
~ her child self. When we found able to use it as a nurturing figure that can provide this for them. Ini-
on inside of her. The image of tially, however, I just want them to imagine a figure that has that quality.
work. Not only did the sense of However, if they can imagine the nurturing figure nurturing them,
but she was used in interweaves that is excellent~use it, install it. I think we need to begin where we can
with our clients and help them to feel that they are successful wherever
monstration at a master thera- they begin. You might suggest that the client imagine himself being held
\.F-EMDR (Cassidy Seminars, by his nurturing figure. As he holds that image and feels himself being
tttempted to find nurturing fig- held, add BLS.
ver been loved or nurtured in I have seen clients come up with nurturers I would not have thought
: (I am always sure we will find of. For instance, several clients have chosen their adult children as nur-
med through her life looking turing figures. They told me that they could imagine calling on their sons
n of being loved or nurtured, or daughters to nurture their child selves. In another case the client chose
:iving love or nurturing herself. her parents when they were older adults as nurturers. When she was a
is a memory of an experience child and they were young adults, they did not do such a good job of
hat was great, and to bring up nurturing her. But over time they matured and developed into wise, kind
d when she had it I would tap people she could imagine caring for her child self. In another case, the
~he had a powerful experience client's mother was dysfunctional when the client was growing up, but
y. She seemed to glow. She felt got therapy and became a close confidante and support in her life. She
tapping for several minutes as was able to install her mother in her present aspect as a nurturing figure.
e finished and took a break, a Sometimes tapping in the nurturing figure or figures can bring up
red by what she had witnessed feelings of grief and loss for what they didn't receive as children. I believe
d give her a hug. She said yes it is important to validate these feelings and to provide comfort to our
After the embrace they gazed clients with our compassion. I also tell them that even though they didn't
ne. I could see something spe- get this as children, they can change the way it feels inside by using their
ient and I resumed our work imagination to create what they need and want in the present .
.ved the resources. Along with With some clients who could think of no one to be a nurturer, I asked
ed to tap in the woman who them if they could remember times when they were able to love and nur-
a nurturing figure, a physical ture another person or even a pet. In this approach I am attempting to
that was easily accessible and access the nurturing quality within the client and then install that so that
they could bring that in for themselves if necessary. For example:
58 Attachment-Focused EMDR

THERAPIST: Can you remember a time when you held or comforted You can spend consideral
your daughter? ing figures and cultivating thi
CLIENT: Yes. different ways, as we've seen
THERAPIST: Bring up a memory of doing that. What do you see? four provide healing. You cat
CLIENT: I see my daughter around 3 years old, cuddled on my lap, important to begin wherever
and I'm rocking her in the rocking chair and singing her a Here is a summary of the fot
song.
THERAPIST: Can you feel the feelings of love and nurturing towards her? 1. Clients imagine a figun
CLIENT: Yes. 2. Clients imagine themse
THERAPIST: Focus on that while I tap on your knees. turance to someone or
3. Clients imagine the nur
In this case the adult self could be used as a nurturing figure. 4. Clients imagine viewin!
ance and the other rec~
TAPPING IN NURTURING FIGURES*
1. Ask your client to "spend a few moments going inside and quiet-
ing your mind." Child Self a11
2. "Think of a figure or figures from your present or past that you Assessm
associate with nurturance. This can be a person or animal, real
or imagined, a spiritual figure, or even someone from a book or As I wrote about in EMDR ,
movie. When you imagine the figure, feel the nurturing quality in dren (Parnell, 1999) and in
your body." 2007), very often during EMI
3. "After finding your nurturing figure, enhance the image as strongly a child, the client suddenly ac
as you can. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you compartment and begins to p
smell? What do you feel in your body?" Commonly, clients become c
4. "When you have a strong sense of the nurturing quality of the fig- need help from the therapist
ure, let me know. Now I'll begin the BLS." (Use the BLS for 6-12 useful, in the preparation ph
right-lefts sets. Then stop and check in with your client.) "How the child self before EMDR
was that for you? How do you feel?" state of the relationship betw
5. If the nurturing quality is continuing to strengthen, you can do
times one will find that the cl
more BLS if you sense that it would help your client. Continue the
the adult does not like or tru
BLS as long as your client feels the figure and the nurturing qual-
ity strengthening and integrating. because during the processir
6. If there is more than one resource, suggest that the client bring therapist may find that the ac
the next nurturing figure to mind and then tap it in also. child cannot depend on the a1
7. Repeat this process, tapping in one resource at a time. better to know of this possib
8. When the client is through, he or she might want to imagine being loving relationship between tl
held by the nurturing figure or figures. As he or she imagines that, interweaves and aids tremend
add some more BLS to strengthen and deepen the feeling of being The following is a descrii:
nurtured. tionship can be accessed and
*Reprinted with permission from Sounds True, Inc. Begin by guiding your cl
After the safe/peaceful place
 The Four Most Important Resources 59

e when you held or comforted You can spend considerable time working on developing the nurtur-
ing figures and cultivating these inner resources. You can do this in four
different ways, as we've seen in the above discussion and examples. All
11g that. What do you see? four provide healing. You can begin where it is easiest for the client. It is
3 years old, cuddled on my lap, important to begin wherever the client can begin with the most comfort.
rocking chair and singing her a Here is a summary of the four perspectives:

love and nurturing towards her? 1. Clients imagine a figure that has a nurturing quality.
2. Clients imagine themselves as the nurturing figure providing nur-
n your knees. turance to someone or something.
3. Clients imagine the nurturing figure nurturing them.
LS a nurturing figure. 4. Clients imagine viewing a scene in which one figure gives nurtur-
ance and the other receives it.
~G FIGURES*

ients going inside and quiet-

Child Self and Adult Self Relationship
our present or past that you Assessment and Development
be a person or animal, real
1en someone from a book or As I wrote about in EMDR in the Treatment of Adults Abused as Chil-
feel the nurturing quality in dren (Parnell, 1999) and in A Therapist's Guide to EMDR (Parnell,
2007), very often during EMDR processing with an adult traumatized as
nhance the image as strongly a child, the client suddenly accesses the child self in its separate memory
: do you hear? What do you compartment and begins to process the past from the child's perspective.
?"
Commonly, clients become caught in looping or stuck processing and
~ nurturing quality of the fig- need help from the therapist in the way of interweaves. I have found it
!LS." (Use the BLS for 6-12 useful, in the preparation phase of treatment, to have the client access
k in with your client.) "How the child self before EMDR processing begins in order to evaluate the
state of the relationship between the child self and the adult self. Some-
~ to strengthen, you can do
times one will find that the child does not like or trust the adult or that
elp your client. Continue the
the adult does not like or trust the child. This is important information
gure and the nurturing qual-
because during the processing of a traumatic event with EMDR, the
.uggest that the client bring therapist may find that the adult has turned on the child self or that the
then tap it in also. child cannot depend on the adult self to act as a protector resource. It is
~source at a time. better to know of this possibility ahead of time. Having a good, strong,
11ight want to imagine being loving relationship between the client's adult and child selves is useful for
As he or she imagines that, interweaves and aids tremendously in the healing process.
deepen the feeling of being The following is a description of how the adult self-child self rela-
tionship can be accessed and evaluated:
Inc. Begin by guiding your clients in finding their safe/peaceful place.
After the safe/peaceful place has been established, you can ask them to
60 Attachment-Focused EMDR

invite their child self into a protective circle that they imagine surrounds they can't think of a real pen
them. You can then begin a dialogue between the adult and child selves Action figures can make goc
to evaluate the nature of their relationship. can also be a protector figur
Generally, clients keeps their eyes closed and the therapist asks ques- her childhood who protecte
tions directed either to the adult self or to the child self For example, the loving marriage, chose her h
therapist might ask the child how old he is and how he is feeling. What ciously if needed. After tap
does he need? How does he feel about the adult self? What is happen- bring him in whenever her c
ing in his life? The client might respond, "I am 3 years old. I feel scared during EMDR processing. l\
'cause I know my daddy's in the house somewhere and my mommy's not protector figures can be inst<
home." The answer to any of the questions can lead to more questions as For clients with abuse h
the therapist gathers information. At some point the attention can shift to insist that they tap in strong,
the adult self to get his opinions and impressions of the child self. "How ing to advocate and protect
do you feel about him?" and "Do you think you can meet his needs?" are neural circuitry that is assoc
possible questions. You are attempting to find out what the child is like, example, if the client imagir
his current emotional state, and the quality of the relationship between the power of its body, the st1
the adult and the child. If there are problems between the two (e.g., the move large obstacles. In a se1
child may feel betrayed by the adult), the therapist must seek a way to becomes a powerful and eff1
remedy the problem. It is like doing inner family therapy. A whole session can become available to her
or sessions may be taken up with trying to heal hurts from the past and trauma memory, and for intt
developing a caring bond between the adult and child selves. As with the nurturing figt
When a caring relationship has been established, you can ask the cli- figure protecting him or her,
ent to imagine holding his child self on his lap, playing with him, or figure in his or her protective
engaging the child in some positive nurturing way. This feeling can also Many clients choose largt
be installed with BLS. Once the relationship has been established, the lions, panthers, wolves, and e
adult can serve as a resource for the child self during times of blocked tions can also be invoked, in
processing and to help create an increased sense of safety for closing ories of positive interaction
sessions. You might find that the figur
a protector. One woman's d1
wise figure. Examples of pro
PROTECTOR FIGURES ents, grandparents, friends,
Protector figures are allies that can be summoned in your clients' imagi- ies and TV such as James B
nation to give them strength and to help them feel protected. I believe Xena the warrior princess, ai
that protector figures are a very important resource for clients who have and even the genie Mr. Cleat
been abused, as they feel so helpless and unprotected. These figures can The adult self can also bt
be used to reduce anxiety and to empower clients. Protector figures can can contact to protect ours1
include people (from their childhood or from their present life), animals, help clients find their adult
or imaginary figures from books, movies, TV, or dreams. Clients might number of skills and traits t
even choose their protective adult self It is most important that when to strengthen and integrate t
they think of their protectors, they can feel their protective quality. Who Schmidt (2002) recomme
would they like to summon that is strong, powerful, and protective? If ents who have unmet develo
 The Four Most Important Resources 61

;ircle that they imagine surrounds they can't think of a real person, is there someone from a movie or book?
>etween the adult and child selves Action figures can make good protectors. The client's spouse or partner
ihip.
can also be a protector figure. For instance, a client who had no one in
osed and the therapist asks ques- her childhood who protected or defended her, but was currently in a
to the child self For example, the loving marriage, chose her husband, a man who would defend her fero-
1e is and how he is feeling. What ciously if needed. After tapping him in as a resource, she was able to
the adult self? What is happen- bring him in whenever her child self felt threatened by the perpetrator
!, "I am 3 years old. I feel scared during EMDR processing. Memories of positive interactions with these
;omewhere and my mommy's not protector figures can be installed with BLS.
ms can lead to more questions as For clients with abuse histories who were powerless as children, I
ne point the attention can shift to insist that they tap in strong, powerful protectors. In this way I am help-
pressions of the child self "How ing to advocate and protect my clients and helping them to access the
ink you can meet his needs?" are neural circuitry that is associated with power in their own bodies. For
to find out what the child is like, example, if the client imagines an elephant as a protector, she can feel
tlity of the relationship between the power of its body, the strength in its legs, its size, and its capacity to
blems between the two (e.g., the move large obstacles. In a sense, the client embodies the elephant, which
he therapist must seek a way to becomes a powerful and effective protector for her. This resource then
·family therapy. A whole session can become available to her in daily life, during the processing of the
to heal hurts from the past and trauma memory, and for interweaves.
lult and child selves. As with the nurturing figures, your client does not have to imagine the
established, you can ask the cli- figure protecting him or her, specifically. It can be enough to imagine the
1 his lap, playing with him, or figure in his or her protective aspect, displaying the quality of protection.
uring way. This feeling can also Many clients choose large animals as protectors, such as bears, tigers,
1ship has been established, the lions, panthers, wolves, and elephants. Spiritual figures from many tradi-
ld self during times of blocked tions can also be invoked, including protective angels and deities. Mem-
sed sense of safety for closing ories of positive interactions with protector figures can be tapped in.
You might find that the figure the client uses for nurturing also serves as
a protector. One woman's dragon served as her protector, nurturer, and
GURES wise figure. Examples of protector figures people have used include par-
ents, grandparents, friends, partners, spouses, dogs; figures from mov-
nmoned in your clients' imagi- ies and TV such as James Bond, Spiderman, Superman, Superwoman,
them feel protected. I believe Xena the warrior princess, and Rambo; mythic figures such as Hercules;
t resource for clients who have and even the genie Mr. Clean from a TV commercial.
mprotected. These figures can The adult self can also be a protector figure. This is the part that we
r clients. Protector figures can can contact to protect ourselves or those for whom we care. You can
Jm their present life), animals, help clients find their adult protective self by getting in touch with a
TV, or dreams. Clients might number of skills and traits that they already possess, and then use BLS
is most important that when to strengthen and integrate these qualities.
(their protective quality. Who Schmidt (2002) recommends installing a protective adult self for cli-
, powerful, and protective? If ents who have unmet developmental needs, particularly those who have
62 Attachment-Focused EMDR

been neglected and have had disruptions in early attachment. As with

the nurturing adult self, Schmidt asks the client to get in touch with a 8. "After you have felt all
number of skills and traits that she tells the client he or she already pos- all of them together int
sesses and then names them as the client feels them inside. They include strengthen and integrat€
resents the protective a
attributes such as the ability to be protective, courageous, strong, logi-
like it captures all of 1
cal, confident, grounded, and so on. After the client feels all of these
have tapped. It is impor
qualities within herself, she is asked to bring all of them together into a resource."
single sense of self that is then installed with BLS. If the client has an
*From Parnell (2008).
image that represents the protective adult self, that image is installed. It
is important that the client accesses a body sense of the resource. As I
said with regard to using the adult self as a nurturing figure, for some
clients it is important to install other figures as backups.

HELPING CLIENTS FIND AND TAP IN THEIR PROTECTIVE ADULT SELF*

TAPPING I~
1. "Close your eyes and go inside. Take some deep breaths and
1. "Can you think of some
slowly let them out. Relax and release with your exhalation. Bring
quality? It can be real or
yourself to the present moment. When you feel yourself present,
from the present or past,
see if you can find a time when you were protective. Can you think
book, or TV. It can be a
of a time when you defended someone you cared about? Be aware
be your adult protective !
of whatever memory or image comes to mind."
one." (Write down the tis
2. "When you find the memory, notice what you see. What are you
then go through and inst
hearing? What do you notice in your body? When you have the
image and can feel the quality of protectiveness let me know." 2. "Close your eyes and go
(Do short set of BLS.) first protector figure on U
3. "How are you feeling? Can you feel the sense of protectiveness? you have a good sense of
If you wish, we can add BLS again as long as it remains positive BLS." [It is most import;
and the feeling of protectiveness strengthens." the figure's protective qu.
4. "Now think of a time when you were courageous. What picture 3. Keep the BLS going 6-1
comes to mind?" in with your client to as
5. "As you bring up the picture, notice what you feel. Notice what the image is getting strc
you hear, smell, sense. What do you feel in your body?" continue with the BLS a
6. "When you have the image and the feeling of courage strongly BLS when the client feel
activated, let me know." (Begin BLS, 6-12 times or more if cli- anchored within.
ent wishes and tolerates it well. Stop BLS and check in with the 4. Now bring up the next pr
client.) "How do you feel? If you want to go longer to continue to riencing its protective qu
strengthen the quality of courage, tap some more." sense of the protector, be
7. "What other qua Iities are associated with protectiveness? Strength,
5. Repeat this process of irr
confidence, groundedness, and others. Continue to think of times
long as the experience is
when you felt these qualities." (Add BLS to strengthen and
deepen them.) 6. It can help to strengthen
continued on next page them.
 The Four Most Important Resources 63

ts in early attachment. As with

he client to get in touch with a 8. "After you have felt all of these qualities within yourself, bring
the client he or she already pos- all of them together into a single sense of self." (Add BLS to
feels them inside. They include strengthen and integrate them.) "An image might arise that rep-
resents the protective adult self. Let any image arise that feels
:ctive, courageous, strong, logi-
like it captures all of the qualities of protectiveness that you
ter the client feels all of these
have tapped. It is important that you have a bodily sense of the
ring all of them together into a resource."
with BLS. If the client has an
*From Parnell (2008).
t self, that image is installed. It
)dy sense of the resource. As I
1s a nurturing figure, for some
res as backups.

::IR PROTECTIVE ADULT SELF*

TAPPING IN PROTECTOR FIGURES
ke some deep breaths and
1. "Can you think of someone or something that has a protective
e with your exhalation. Bring
quality? It can be real or imaginary. It can be someone you know
~n you feel yourself present,
from the present or past, an animal, or even a figure from a movie,
ere protective. Can you think
book, or TV. It can be a spiritual figure that is protective. It can
e you cared about? Be aware
be your adult protective self. It can be helpful to have more than
to mind."
one." (Write down the list of protectors your client comes up with,
what you see. What are you
then go through and install them one by one.)
' body? When you have the
·otectiveness let me know." 2. "Close your eyes and go inside. Bring up an image of __ [the
first protector figure on the list.] Feel the protective quality. When
you have a good sense of it, let me know. Good, now I'll begin the
he sense of protectiveness?
; long as it remains positive BLS." [It is most important that the client have a body sense of
igthens." the figure's protective quality.]
~ courageous. What picture 3. Keep the BLS going 6-12 times, right-left. Now stop and check
in with your client to ask how he or she feels. If the sense of
what you feel. Notice what the image is getting stronger, or the client wants to go longer,
=el in your body?" continue with the BLS as long as it remains positive. Stop the
feeling of courage strongly BLS when the client feels that the protector resource is strongly
6-12 times or more if cli- anchored within.
BLS and check in with the 4. Now bring up the next protector. Be sure that the client is expe-
to go longer to continue to riencing its protective quality. When the client indicates a strong
some more." sense of the protector, begin the BLS.
:h protectiveness? Strength, 5. Repeat this process of imagining and tapping in of protectors as
. Continue to think of times long as the experience is positive for the client.
d BLS to strengthen and
6. It can help to strengthen the feeling of the protectors by drawing
continued on next page them.
64 Attachment-Focused EMDR

As with the nurturing figures, you can help clients access and inte- If they give a positive respons1
grate protection from four different perspectives: add BLS to more fully integra1
4. Imagining viewing the sc
1. Imagining a figure that has a protective quality. Clients imagine a In this version clients imagine
figure, real or imaginary, which has a protective aspect. It can be a figure tecting a child. This is an obje<
from a movie or a book, a person from their family, or even themselves. that, to see that scene? How de
They bring the figure to mind, feel the protective quality of the figure, do think the child feels receivi
and then add BLS. The idea here is to activate the neuro network of they imagine this from any of
protection; they feel this quality in themselves even if the protector is a
character from a movie or a book. You can increase the feelir
2. Imagining themselves as the protector figure providing protection to protection comprising all yom
someone or something. The client is the protector figure, bringing up a can be used during times whe
memory or a fantasy of providing protection. For example, the thera- and wish to feel their protecto1
pist might say: "If someone should threaten your son, what would you
do?" Client: "I'd stand up to the bully and make sure he didn't harm my TAPPING lN THE
son." In this case you want to activate the imagery, body sensations, and
1. "Close your eyes and go
emotions associated with the act of protection. "What do you notice in slowly let them go. Relax
your body as you imagine doing this? How does that feel?" Add BLS if quiet place inside."
the feelings are positive. "Notice how your son looks when he is being 2. "When you are more relax
protected." If it is positive, use BLS to integrate that too. protector figures. Look an
3. Imagining the protector figure protecting them. This is from the one at a time. Feel all oft
point of view of the child or adult receiving protection. Many of our to, you can enhance the ,
clients have never had an experience of being protected by someone, or protection. It is importan
seeing someone stand up for them. As with imagining receiving nurtur- from your protector figure:
ing, this can be much harder to do for many of our clients with attach- 3. "When you have a strong~
ment trauma. They first imagine and tap in the protector figure, and the BLS (BLS 6-12 time!
then imagine the figure protecting them. "Imagine your friend John in ent; if it is getting strongE
your client that he or she
his protecting aspect. Good, can you feel it? (If affirmative, add ELS.)
by protection. Take in all
Now can you imagine him protecting you if you are under some kind of
their courage. Receive thE
threat? What do you feel in your body when you imagine this?" Be sure 4. "You can also draw your
to add in the senses to more fully activate the right hemisphere, asking, draw yourself surrounded
"What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel emotionally?" to reinforce the feeling of
Then ask, "How was that for you? How did it feel to be protected?" If it with comfort when you neE
was positive, add BLS to enhance that experience. client looks at it.
If they had imagined protecting someone or something earlier, clients
*Reprinted with permission frorr
can then imagine themselves in the position of the one receiving the pro-
tection. As in the above example: "Now imagine you are your son being
protected. Put yourself in his position. What are you seeing? What are INNER W
you feeling? What do you notice in your body?" If it is positive, add BLS. For most of my clients the pea
Then you could ask, "How was that for you to imagine being protected?" ures are sufficient resources to l
 The Four Most Important Resources 65

:an help clients access and inte- If they give a positive response, you can ask them to "take that in," and
•pectives: add BLS to more fully integrate it.
4. Imagining viewing the scene of protecting and receiving protection.
?ctive quality. Clients imagine a In this version clients imagine seeing the scene of a protector figure pro-
>tective aspect. It can be a figure tecting a child. This is an objective view. "How does that feel to imagine
their family, or even themselves. that, to see that scene? How do you think the protector figure feels? How
protective quality of the figure, do think the child feels receiving the protection?" You can add BLS as
activate the neuro network of they imagine this from any of the positions.
1selves even if the protector is a
You can increase the feeling of protection by imagining a circle of
or figure providing protection to protection comprising all your client's protector figures (see box). This
protector figure, bringing up a can be used during times when your clients feel vulnerable and afraid
~ction. For example, the thera- and wish to feel their protectors more fully.
1ten your son, what would you
d make sure he didn't harm my TAPPING JN THE CIRCLE OF PROTECTION*
~ imagery, body sensations, and
~ction. "What do you notice in 1. "Close your eyes and go inside. Take some deep breaths in and
slowly let them go. Relax with the exhalation. Bring yourself to a
>w does that feel?" Add BLS if
quiet place inside."
ur son looks when he is being
2. "When you are more relaxed, imagine yourself surrounded by your
tegrate that too.
protector figures. Look around the circle. Look at each protector,
'ecting them. This is from the one at a time. Feel all of their protection for you. If you would like
ving protection. Many of our to, you can enhance the details of the imagery and the sense of
eing protected by someone, or protection. It is important that you feel the sense of protection
th imagining receiving nurtur- from your protector figures."
my of our clients with attach- 3. "When you have a strong sense of them, signal me and I will begin
p in the protector figure, and the BLS (BLS 6-12 times, then stop and check in with your cli-
"Imagine your friend John in ent; if it is getting stronger, continue BLS). You might suggest to
it? (If affirmative, add BLS.) your client that he or she "take in the feeling of being surrounded
if you are under some kind of by protection. Take in all the strength of your protectors. Let in
their courage. Receive their determination to protect you."
en you imagine this?" Be sure
4. "You can also draw your circle of protection. Take the time to
the right hemisphere, asking,
draw yourself surrounded by your protectors. Drawing can serve
hat do you feel emotionally?"
to reinforce the feeling of protection. Viewing it can provide you
d it feel to be protected?" If it with comfort when you need it." The therapist can add BLS as the
enence. client looks at it.
ie or something earlier, clients
*Reprinted with permission from Sounds True, Inc.
1 of the one receiving the pro-
1agine you are your son being
hat are you seeing? What are INNER WISDOM FIGURES
dy?" If it is positive, add BLS. For most of my clients the peaceful place, nurturing, and protector fig-
to imagine being protected?" ures are sufficient resources to begin the trauma processing work. But for
66 Attachment-Focused EMDR

clients who are more fragile or more traumatized, I add in inner wisdom advisor looks like and if he or
figures to supplement the resource team. These are wise figures such as You may choose to install the
teachers, parents, grandparents, or helpers of any kind that they have your client that the inner adv
known personally; spiritual figures, ancestors, or historical figures from her and can call on him or he
movies, TV, or books. For some clients the easiest way to initiate this ver- sors appear spontaneously to
sion is to simply ask them to compile a list of wise figures they would like a variety of forms that have i:
as resources. Once they have provided a list of wise figures, tap in one at trees, waterfalls, elves, wizarc
a time. For example, a client might choose the Dalai Lama, his grand- elders, goddesses, older versic
father, and Einstein as wise figures. I would ask him to close his eyes, go that the client not judge wha
inside, and bring up the image of the Dalai Lama, along with the sense that is given as long as it is co
of the wise quality. When he indicates he has a sense of it, I begin the tant function of the inner ad'
BLS. I do a short set and then check in with him. If he tells me it is get- can also be present as a sourc
ting stronger, I will do more BLS until he tells me it feels complete to
him. I then ask him to recall his grandfather, to imagine him there with
him in this moment, to get the sense of his wisdom quality, and use the INNER
BLS again. I repeat this process with the figure of Einstein. I find that "As you relax in your safer:-
each figure has a different quality that is evoked with the installation. He in this special place . ... Jt..
can access these inner resources any time he needs help or advice. your inner advisor, a wise, k.
Another way to develop wise figures as resources is to use guided Let it appear in any way tha
imagery and invite an inner advisor or wise figure to arise in that place. come in many forms-as a r
I described this process in three of my previous books (Parnell, 1999, know, or a character from a
2007, 2008). I have found that developing and installing the inner advi- "Accept your advisor as ,
sor or wise self is particularly powerful and helpful, as it arises directly loving, and compassionate.
from the client's unconscious mind. The inner advisor or wise figure is an you and its wisdom . ... lnvi
ask it its name ... accept ~
aspect of the ego that represents wisdom and offers a balanced perspec-
tive (Parnell, 1999, 2007, 2008; Rossman, 1987). It can be a very valuable "Keeping your eyes clos€
ally during EMDR processing and between sessions. The inner advisor me its name. (At this point I
to see how the client is doin
can be called on in times of difficulty or if the processing becomes stuck.
sets.) When you are ready te
When they develop the inner advisor, clients can derive a greater sense
tions you have concerning t
of connection to their own inner resources. Many clients light up with
[name of advisor's] respons€
surprise and awe at the wisdom that comes out of their own mouths. The talking with you, or you may
development and installation of the inner advisor provides clients with in some other way. ... Allow
another tool and assures the therapist that clients can access their own natural. ... If you are uncer
source of wisdom and creativity. there are other questions yo
When beginning this process of finding the inner advisor, guide your until you feel you have learn
client to the peaceful place first. Let him know that you will do short
sets of BLS when he finds the advisor. After your client is settled in his
peaceful place, tell him that he is going to meet his inner advisor or wise
self, an aspect of himself that is wise and can offer him guidance when
he asks for it. When the inner advisor appears, ask your client what the
 The Four Most Important Resources 67

matized, I add in inner wisdom advisor looks like and if he or she has any advice to give him at this time.
These are wise figures such as You may choose to install the feeling of the inner advisor with BLS. Tell
~rs of any kind that they have your client that the inner advisor is available whenever he needs him or
stors, or historical figures from her and can call on him or her when he feels a need to do so. Inner advi-
e easiest way to initiate this ver- sors appear spontaneously to clients during the guided imagery and take
t of wise figures they would like a variety of forms that have included fairies, wise women, grandfathers,
ist of wise figures, tap in one at trees, waterfalls, elves, wizards, Jesus, hawks, snakes, Native American
1se the Dalai Lama, his grand- elders, goddesses, older versions of the client, and so on. It is important
1ld ask him to close his eyes, go that the client not judge what comes up and that he accept the advice
lai Lama, along with the sense that is given as long as it is compassionate. The most critical and impor-
e has a sense of it, I begin the tant function of the inner advisor is to empower the client. The advisor
1
ith him. If he tells me it is get- can also be present as a source of support and comfort.
1e tells me it feels complete to
her, to imagine him there with
is wisdom quality, and use the INNER ADVISOR SCRIPT*
: figure of Einstein. I find that "As you relax in your safe place, invite your inner advisor to join you
voked with the installation. He in this special place . ... Just allow an image to form that represents
he needs help or advice. your inner advisor, a wise, kind, loving figure who knows you well . ...
as resources is to use guided Let it appear in any way that comes and accept it as it is.... It may
:se figure to arise in that place. come in many forms-as a man, woman, animal, friend, someone you
>revious books (Parnell, 1999, know, or a character from a movie or book.
~and installing the inner advi- "Accept your advisor as it appears, as long as it seems wise, kind,
nd helpful, as it arises directly loving, and compassionate . ... You will be able to sense its caring for
1ner advisor or wise figure is an you and its wisdom . ... Invite it to be comfortable there with you and
and offers a balanced perspec- ask it its name ... accept what comes....
1987). It can be a very valuable "Keeping your eyes closed ... describe your inner advisor and tell
en sessions. The inner advisor me its name. (At this point begin the BLS. Do short sets and check in
the processing becomes stuck. to see how the client is doing. If it continues to be positive, do longer
sets.) When you are ready tell it about your problem ... ask any ques-
:nts can derive a greater sense
tions you have concerning this situation . ... Now listen carefully to
~s. Many clients light up with
[name of advisor's] response . ... You may imagine [name of advisor]
: out of their own mouths. The talking with you, or you may simply have a direct sense of its message
· advisor provides clients with in some other way. ... Allow it to communicate in whatever way seems
Lt clients can access their own natural. ... If you are uncertain about the meaning of the advice or if
there are other questions you want to ask, continue the conversation
~ the inner advisor, guide your until you feel you have learned all you can at this time ...
know that you will do short
ter your client is settled in his
meet his inner advisor or wise
continued on next page
can offer him guidance when
,ears, ask your client what the
68 Attachment-Focused EMDR

the BLS. Sometimes clients \I

INNER ADVISOR SCRIPT (continued) their peaceful place. I let then
(After a long pause, ask the client what is happening. After he or Some clients do not like tt
she tells you, begin BLS again.) "As you consider what your advisor mother could fit with their L
told you, imagine what your life would be like if you took the advice on. For those for whom this i
you have received . ... If you have more questions, continue the con- When they can feel a circle c
versation. (If the client continues the conversation with the advisor can draw upon their team fc
again, pause, then ask what is happening. Resume BLS.J EMDR processing, and also
"When it seems right, thank your advisor for meeting with you, and clients: "You can imagine ta
ask it to tell you the easiest, surest method for getting back in touch with life. They can be called upo1
it. ... Realize that you can call another meeting whenever you feel the need them." As clients discov
need for some advice or support. ... Say good-bye for now in whatever
to their team. A guided image
way seems appropriate, and allow yourself to come back to the room. "
inner helpers is provided in ti
At the end, spend time debriefing the experience. Take care that the
client is fully back in the room before ending the session.

*Adapted with permission from the "Inner Advisor" script developed by Martin L. Ross-
TAPPING INC
man, MD,and David E. Bresler, PhD, for the Academy for Guided Imagery.
1. "Imagine yourself surrou
center of a circle of su~
Clients can use their inner advisor to help them in a number of ways. one of your inner resourc
If they have a question, problem, or don't know what direction to turn, in this support; feel it a~
they can take a moment and go inside themselves. They can bring up BLS.)
their inner advisor and ask him or her for guidance. Then they can tap 2. "Now feel the combine'
themselves and listen for the response. In this way their inner wisdom their caring and the qual
figure can be there to provide guidance and support for them in their life. team of inner helpers. \
These figures can be used as interweaves when the processing is stuck. strongly in your body, le1
positive.)
"What advice would your inner advisor give you?" Listen for the advice,
3. "You may imagine more
and then say "Go with that" or "Imagine that" and add the BLS. Clients
or some may arise spon:
can have more than one inner advisor, and they can change each time you." (Add BLS.)
you do the exercise. They may require a different inner advisor for differ- 4. "Imagine taking this feE
ent problems in their life, or at different times in their life. When you have an imagE
know." (Add BLS.)
5. Remember that your circi
TEAM OF INNER HELPERS have to do is think of the
I ask many of my clients if they would like to imagine the resources they the butterfly hug."
have tapped in as a team of support. Some clients take to this immediately
and love the idea. They imagine all of their resources surrounding them,
providing them with the support they need. "Now that we have tapped in EXAMPLE OF INSl
your basic resource figures, would you like to imagine them together sur- A CLIENT WITI-
rounding you and providing you support? They are your inner support Following is a transcript from
team." When they have imagined or have a good sense of this team, I add my class at the New York Op
 The Four Most Important Resources 69

the BLS. Sometimes clients want to imagine all their figures assembled in
I PT (continued)
their peaceful place. I let them choose whatever feels best for them.
what is happening. After he or Some clients do not like this idea. They can't imagine how their grand-
'OU consider what your advisor mother could fit with their mother grizzly bear. That's fine. I just move
' be like if you took the advice on. For those for whom this image works, it can be a wonderful resource.
·e questions, continue the con- When they can feel a circle of support, clients don't feel so alone. They
conversation with the advisor can draw upon their team for help whenever they need to during their
hg. Resume BLS.J
EMDR processing, and also during daily life. Later you can suggest to
visor for meeting with you, and clients: "You can imagine taking your circle of inner helpers into your
Jd for getting back in touch with life. They can be called upon and tapped in to help you whenever you
meeting whenever you feel the need them." As clients discover more resource figures, they can be added
lY good-bye for now in whatever
to their team. A guided imagery that you can use to enhance the team of
If to come back to the room. "
inner helpers is provided in the box.
~xperience. Take care that the
~nding the session.

or" script developed by Martin L. Ross-

TAPPING IN CIRCLE OF INNER HELPERS
demy for Guided Imagery.
1. "Imagine yourself surrounded by your inner helpers. You are in the
center of a circle of support. Spend a moment and look at each
help them in a number of ways. one of your inner resource figures. Feel their support for you. Take
1't know what direction to turn, in this support; feel it as strongly as you can in your body." (Add
themselves. They can bring up BLS.)
Jr guidance. Then they can tap 2. "Now feel the combined support from your inner helpers. Feel
:n this way their inner wisdom their caring and the qualities they provide as you tap in this entire
id support for them in their life. team of inner helpers. When you can feel the sense of support
; when the processing is stuck. strongly in your body, let me know." (Add BLS as long as it feels
positive.)
~ive you?" Listen for the advice,
3. "You may imagine more inner resource figures joining your circle,
that" and add the BLS. Clients
or some may arise spontaneously, adding even more support for
md they can change each time you." (Add BLS.)
ifferent inner advisor for differ- 4. "Imagine taking this feeling of support with you into your life.
imes in their life. When you have an image, picture, or sense of doing this, let me
know." (Add BLS.)
5. Remember that your circle of inner helpers is always there. All you
HELPERS have to do is think of them. You can tap on your own knees or do
e to imagine the resources they the butterfly hug."
clients take to this immediately
ir resources surrounding them,
I. "Now that we have tapped in EXAMPLE OF INSTALLING RESOURCES WITH
~to imagine them together sur- A CLIENT WITH RELATIONAL TRAUMA
? They are your inner support Following is a transcript from a session I did that was videotaped from
1 good sense of this team, I add my class at the New York Open Center ("Attachment-Focused EMDR
70 Attachment-Focused EMDR

for Social Anxiety," available through www.emdrinfo.com). The client MIRIUM: (Closes her eyes an
was a woman in her early 50s who presented with issues of having dif- >>>>>(Opens ey,
ficulty in group situations. She was highly anxious and told me that she LAUREL: OK, great, so you
had often been scapegoated as a child. She'd had insecure attachment nurturing qualities
with her mother who was not loving or nurturing of her. An orthodox MIRIUM: Hmmm ...
Jew, she was currently married to a man she loved. I will present this LAUREL: Great, you got a s~
case in more detail in Chapter 15. In this session I am installing the four MIRIUM: >>>>>OK ... (l
resources outlined above. Because this client was highly anxious, she LAUREL: Can you think of J
needed a lot of reassurance from me as we went along. MIRIUM: Ok, hmmm, again
this ... hmmm ..
LAUREL: So, do you have a place that feels peaceful and relaxing to ures in movies but
you? from the Bible (an
MIRIUM: Yeah, well, the western wall in Jerusalem. LAUREL: Great, he's a powe
LAUREL: So, it's being there? MIRIUM: Yes.
MIRIUM: Yeah, or just visualizing it. LAUREL: 0 K, that's good, y
LAUREL: OK. Great. So just take a moment and imagine that wall ... MIRIUM: Yes.
and when you have a sense of peacefulness, let me know. LAUREL: So imagine your h
MIRIUM: Yes. >>>>> (installing or tapping in peaceful place) now.
LAUREL: OK, how's that? MIRIUM: OK. (Closes eyes.)
MIRIUM: Good. LAUREL: OK, got it?
LAUREL: Great, OK. Now, do you have nurturing figures, real or MIRIUM: Yes.
imaginary? LAUREL: OK, and then Kini
MIRIUM: My husband. MIRIUM: Yeah.>>>>>
LAUREL: OK, anyone else? [I want to have some backups in case he LAUREL: OK, that's great! .
isn't enough.] wise figures?
MIRIUM: Nurturing ... MIRIUM: Wise figures ... we
LAUREL: Yes, it could be an animal, it could be a spiritual figure, some- one of my proble1
one from the past ... whole thing, but sl
MIRIUM: I guess our dog growing up ... I really didn't have much nur- to use her ... ha-h
turing, except for since I got married. LAUREL: N 00000 . . . (laugh
LAUREL: It doesn't have to be from your childhood. It could be from MIRIUM: Hmmm ... I don't
any time. It should have that nurturing quality. say again, I'm goin
MIRIUM: I guess that the last time I picked you actually. LAUREL: Well, great, you're
LAUREL: Oh, OK. what's important.
MIRIUM: The way you look when you're doing this work! It's very MIRIUM: Yes, well ...
nurturing. LAUREL: OK, wonderful, so
LAUREL: Oh, OK, so let's go to your husband and feel his nurturing MIRIUM: >>>>>OK, great.
quality. LAUREL: Wonderful. Do yot
 The Four Most Important Resources 71

www.emdrinfo.com). The client MIRIUM: (Closes her eyes and focuses on the image and feeling.) OK ...
;ented with issues of having dif- > > > > > (Opens eyes when done.)
1ly anxious and told me that she LAUREL: OK, great, so you got it ... so now imagine me and feel my
She'd had insecure attachment nurturing qualities.
· nurturing of her. An orthodox MIRIUM: Hmmm ...
an she loved. I will present this LAUREL: Great, you got a sense of it, OK.
s session I am installing the four MIRIUM: >>>>>OK ... (Opens eyes when done.)
client was highly anxious, she LAUREL: Can you think of protective figures, real or imaginary?
we went along. MIRIUM: Ok, hmmm, again my husband .... I really have trouble with
this ... hmmm ... I mean, there are lots of protective fig-
t feels peaceful and relaxing to ures in movies but ... I picture King David (laughs nervously)
from the Bible (anxious and unsure of herself).
n Jerusalem. LAUREL: Great, he's a powerful figure!
MIRIUM: Yes.
LAUREL: OK, that's good, you feel a resonance with that image?
>ment and imagine that wall ... MIRIUM: Yes.
r peacefulness, let me know. LAUREL: So imagine your husband and imagine his protective quality
'Ping in peaceful place) now.
MIRIUM: OK. (Closes eyes.) >>>>>
LAUREL: OK, got it?
iave nurturing figures, real or MIRIUM: Yes.
LAUREL: OK, and then King David ... OK?
MIRIUM: Yeah.>>>>>
have some backups in case he LAUREL: OK, that's great! ... Good, now, wise figures~are there any
wise figures?
MIRIUM: Wise figures ... well, weird that this should come up, because
ould be a spiritual figure, some- one of my problem figures is my mother, but she's in this
whole thing, but she is a wise figure also, but we're not going
. I really didn't have much nur- to use her ... ha-ha!
narried. LAUREL: Nooooo ... (laughs).
ur childhood. It could be from MIRIUM: Hmmm ... I don't know, I feel so stupid but, no, I'm going to
mrturing quality. say again, I'm going to say Moses (laughs nervously).
ked you actually. LAUREL: Well, great, you're resonating with these figures and that's
what's important.
i're doing this work! It's very MIRIUM: Yes, well ...
LAUREL: OK, wonderful, so just feel his wisdom quality.
msband and feel his nurturing MIRIUM: >>>>> OK, great.
LAUREL: Wonderful. Do you want to imagine them as a team?
72 Attachment-Focused EMDR

MIRIUM: Well, right now it would take too much work to get every-
body and put them together (chuckle) ... yeah ...
LAUREL: OK, not a problem.

The rest of the session, which includes the EMDR processing, is pre-
sented in Chapter 15.

Creating New
Develo1

I n this chapter you will lea

an ideal mother and ideal J
and developmental deficits, a~
interweaves. Cases are used tc
a sense of what this work mi~

DEVELOPING AND T,
The ideal mother is a resource
to help repair early childhood
history and hearing a story 1
mentally or physically ill, abu
begin to think that perhaps it
an ideal mother-the mother
cases, it is not one or two in
being misattuned; rather, it i~
rienced over a prolonged per
experience emotional charge
way it was for them.
Some clients spend more
mother. They take pleasure in
they wish they'd had. Somet