Silva 1
Michael Silva
Professor Diehl
HUMN 2010
February 9, 2024
Shattered Hope
Nick Adam experiences many hardships and heartbreaks throughout his life, but
his most impactful heartbreak occurs in the short story “Now I Lay Me”. Nick Adam is
currently at war and is experiencing emotionally internal heartbreak from the fear of
death and purpose. This causes deep sorrow, insomnia, social distress, and a loss of
purpose. Rather than Nick battling with this heartbreak and trying to find a solution he
instead copes and lives with it and ultimately leads himself down a path of more sorrow.
Nick Adam has been experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder from when he
got blow up at night. The short story states, “I ever shut my eyes in the dark and let
myself go, my soul would go out of my body. I had been that way for a long time, ever
since I had been blown up at night and felt it go out of me and go off and then come
back” (Hemingway, 365). This shows how nick is experiencing insomnia due to the fact
when he tries to go to sleep at night, he just relives his traumatic near-death experiences
in the war. These affects nick greatly as a character because it causes him to feel
alienated from the world around him. Everyone else is sleeping besides Nick and John,
which demonstrates a physical separation between him and the others. This causes nick to
feel a sense of loneliness because he feels there is nobody else that is going through the
same thing as him.
Silva 2
This sense of loneliness only leads to more despair for Nick as he tries to find a
coping mechanism to help him. His disconnection from the world keeps him from finding
help through others, so he attempts to find peace by reminiscing his childhood memories.
In addition, he also tries to remember everyone he ever knew before the war and pray for
them, but this causes him to show a sense of insanity and mental deterioration. The short
story states “Some nights, though, I could not remember my prayers even. I could only
get as far as ‘On earth as it is in heaven’ and then have to start all over and be absolutely
unable to get passed that” (366). This illustrates the mental strain nick is having due to
his internal heartbreak. Nick is obsessed with getting past the point where he cannot
remember the rest of the prayer. This may suggest that Nick believes that if he can get
past the point where he cannot remember then he can achieve internal peace. Nick never
achieves this and instead shows signs of insanity, mental deterioration, hopelessness as he
spends the whole night attempting to remember. He does this for many nights as he is
unable to sleep.
One night when John finally speaks to Nick in the story there is at first a sense of
hope that Nick will escape his isolation and despair. The short story sates “‘say, Signor
Tenente, what did you get in this war for, anyway?’ ‘I don’t know, John. I wanted to,
then.’ ‘Wanted to,’ he said. ‘that’s a hell of a reason.’ ‘We oughtn’t to talk to loud’ I
said” (369). This reveals how Nick’s internal heartbreak is having an affect on his social
life and causing him to get help while showing a sense of helplessness. Any chance Nick
gets to end the conversation or avoid talking about his problem he takes it. In addition,
the conversation between John and Nick reveals a loss of purpose as Nick doesn’t know
why he really joined the war or what he is fighting for. Having a loss of purpose and
Silva 3
suffering with no escape is dangerous because there is no clear path or something to look
forward to either. This leads Nick to ultimate depression and loss of who he is.
In conclusion the short story “Now I Lay Me” shows Nick suffering with internal
heartbreak with no clear escape. A heartbreak with no escape is dangerous as it causes
Nick to suffer from Insomnia, social distress, a loss of purpose, and helplessness. Nick in
the story never finds a solution and instead remains hopeless, which shows only a path of
more suffering in the future for Nick. The story “Now I Lay Me” shows the most
impactful heartbreak in Nick’s life.
Silva 4
Work Cited
Hemingway, Ernest. The Nick Adams Stories.
New York: Scribners & Sons, 1972
