POWERLESS

STEEL DEMONS MC BOOK TWO

CRYSTAL ASH
Copyright © 2019 by Crystal Ash

Cover Art by MoorBooks Design

Published by Voluspa Press

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses,
companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods,
without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in
critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
 Contents

Prologue
1. MARIPOSA
2. MARIPOSA
3. GUNNER
4. MARIPOSA
5. REAPER
6. MARIPOSA
7. MARIPOSA
8. JANDRO
9. MARIPOSA
10. REAPER
11. MARIPOSA
12. GUNNER
13. JANDRO
14. MARIPOSA
15. MARIPOSA
16. GUNNER
17. MARIPOSA
18. MARIPOSA
19. MARIPOSA
20. MARIPOSA
21. MARIPOSA
22. REAPER
23. JANDRO
24. MARIPOSA
25. REAPER
26. MARIPOSA
27. MARIPOSA
28. SHADOW
29. GUNNER
30. MARIPOSA
Epilogue
Also by Crystal Ash
About the Author
 SDMC series playlist

All American Nightmare - Hinder

Notorious - Adelitas Way
Hail to the King - Avenged Sevenfold
Joan of Arc - In This Moment
Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
Bad Company - Five Finger Death Punch
Love Me to Death - No Resolve
(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - HIM
David - Noah Gunderson
Blue on Black - Five Finger Death Punch
Machine Gun Blues - Social Distortion
Wanted Dead or Alive - Chris Daughtry
I Get Off - Halestorm
You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
Nobody Praying for Me - Seether
Loyal to No One - Dropkick Murpheys
Be Free - King Dude & Chelsea Wolfe
Raise Hell - Dorothy
Coming Home - Skylar Grey

Click here to listen on Spotify!

 Prologue

JANDRO

THREE YEARS PRE-COLLAPSE

T he coffee stopped kicking in six hours ago, but I choked down the bitter
liquid anyway. It was the only thing that kept me going on this sixteen-
hour shift. My fourth double-shift this week.
I winced at the sound of Sergeant Crodick's baton clanging on the
inmates' metal doors. What an asshole. Guards, inmates, and even other
supervisors hated that guy. Sure, this was the mental health building, where
most inmates paced, rocked, scratched the walls, and talked to themselves at
all hours of the night. But some of them were trying to sleep, too, goddamnit.
That smug asshole knocked his baton on every. Single. Cell door.
Whoever was awake became agitated, slamming their palms on the doors
and yelling through the small plexiglass window. That alerted anyone who'd
been sleeping, jolted awake by the initial clang and now disoriented by all the
commotion.
Crodick chuckled as he returned back to the office. My grim expression
apparently amused him even more.
"There ya go, rookie." He sat down in the chair and propped his feet up
on the desk. "Get busy and settle the nut jobs down." With a lace of his
fingers over his belly, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It didn't
even take a minute for him to start snoring.
"Asshole," I grumbled, tossing my paper coffee cup into the trash can.
So much for a relaxing rest of the shift. I had a sinking feeling he'd call
me for overtime again tomorrow. The supervisors always begged and pleaded
and harassed the new guards to stay. Turnover was high at these government
facilities while pay and benefits were laughably nonexistent. Only the old-
timers could sit back and collect a decent check. Their wages had been
negotiated back when labor unions still had power. Nowadays the newcomers
did all the dirty work for basically slave wages.
We all knew the world was going to hell in a handbasket, it was just a
matter of when. The twenty-year veterans who still had some value in their
retirement accounts were just waiting for the right moment to cash out. They
watched the slimy politicians pandering for votes and threw their support
behind the most outlandish claims and emptiest promises—usually something
to protect the dwindling assets they spent a lifetime building.
My generation? Oh, we were fucked. And no one gave a shit.
My footsteps were heavy as I walked out onto the floor, pulling my baton
from the loop in my belt. Some inmates went quiet at just the sight of me
holding it.
A sigh deflated my chest, the baton heavy in my hand. This wasn't me. I
got no pleasure out of yelling at people in cages, many of whom didn't even
know what was going on. All I wanted to do was fix motorcycles and bring a
girl home once in a while. I didn't get paid enough to find any joy in scaring
people.
Crodick was already asleep, so why did it matter if the inmates kept
yelling and hitting the doors? If I got fired for insubordination, good fucking
riddance.
I walked the floor like a zombie, then ascended the stairs to the upper tier.
I looked straight in front of me, but my eyes didn't focus on anything. Damn,
my feet and back hurt like a bitch. At twenty-one years old, this job already
had me aching like an old man. Fuck, I just wanted to go home.
Just like on the floor, the inmates on the upper tier went quiet at the sight
of me. No yelling or baton-banging necessary. Some of them were probably
spooked by when I first got hired and did some baton-swinging to prove
myself. Now a whole two months later, I was so fucking over it.
One cell at the end didn't quiet down like the rest. I paused in front of the
door to the sound of incoherent mumbling, followed by guttural, tortured
screaming.
"Hey," I knocked my baton on the door twice. "Calm down in there and
go to sleep."
I heard a series of thumping sounds, like a body being thrown against the
walls, then whimpering and more screams.
"Hey!" I knocked harder on the door. "I said calm the fuck down and go
to sleep!"
"I can't!"
The answer startled me. Not that it was unusual for inmates to talk to us,
but amid all the mumbling and screaming, those two words sounded
strangely coherent.
I pulled my flashlight from my belt, clicked it on and shined it through
the square window.
A pale, skinny kid shielded his eyes from where he sat against the wall.
He wore the white inmate-issued pants but had taken his shirt off, as many of
the male inmates did to sleep.
"Jesus fuck," I swore, lowering the light from his face to his torso.
He was covered in scar tissue. Burns, cuts, scrapes and everything
imaginable crisscrossed over his thin, malnourished body. It hardly looked
like he had any unmarked skin at all.
When he lowered his hands from his eyes, I saw more scarring on one
side of his face. A wicked slash cut through one eye, the iris of which looked
almost completely white. His other eye was dark brown, almost black like the
hair buzzed close to his scalp.
"You don't have to sleep, just quit fucking screaming," I told him, making
sure to add a hard edge to my voice.
"I'm trying!" His brow pinched tight with despair. I could now see the tear
tracks on the kid's face, who looked no older than me.
I should have walked off right then but something pulled at me to stay
with him. Most of our inmates went through some kind of trauma, whether
before or after coming to our facility, but I never saw anyone so broken down
as this kid. Even more unusual, he seemed sane now that he wasn't screaming
his head off.
I sank to the floor, getting eye-level with the small foodport slot in his
door and unlocked it. Fuck. Maybe I'm the crazy one, I thought as I slid it
open.
"Hey, come here," I said through the slot. "Tell me what's going on with
you."
"No! You're going to pepper-spray me again."
Shit. When was that, yesterday? Last week? All the long shifts had
blurred together so much, I forgot Crodick and his asshole buddy had coaxed
inmates to look through the foodport and sprayed them for fun.
"That wasn't me," I answered. "Look, I'm a new guy. I'm not even
supposed to be talking to you. But you don't seem all that crazy and I'd rather
level with you than yell at you. So what's wrong?"
He didn't come closer to the door, but his shaking voice floated from
across the cell.
"I'm not crazy. I just get bad nightmares when I sleep. Sometimes they
stay with me as I wake up. I don't want to wake up screaming but I can't help
it. I've been trying to stay awake but when I nod off..."
"Okay. Have they given you meds?"
"All the nurses are female! I don't take anything from women. No, never
again. No, no, no.”
Hmm, maybe he was a little nuttier than I thought. But on a second
glance at his scarred up body, maybe not. Either way, I couldn’t blame him
for being distrustful.
"Okay," I repeated. "Would you accept meds if they came from a man?"
He hesitated before answering. “If they work. And if no one hits me." A
soft sob echoed against the concrete walls of his cell. "I just want it to stop."
I leaned my head and shoulder against the door with a sigh. I had no
power to help him. Any requests to make inmates more comfortable would be
met with suspicion and scrutiny. And I wouldn't put it past Crodick and his
crew to double-down on harassing this kid just because I was trying to do
something nice for him.
My head lifted off the door with a start, remembering something about
Crodick that I could use. No, I thought. You will get tossed out of this job so
fast and maybe even arrested.
The next thought came just as quickly, spurring my tired feet to get under
me. Fuck it. You're already done with this place.
"I'll be right back," I told the kid, leaving the foodport open as I headed
for the stairs.
This was stupid, bordering on dangerous. But the world was ending and I
ran out of fucks to give.
Crodick remained in the same position I left him in—hands on his belly,
head leaned back, mouth open and snoring.
I came up next to him as silently as I could, then held my breath as I
slowly pulled open the file drawer just below his feet. He snorted once but
didn't wake up. Only a few seconds of rummaging produced what I needed—
his hidden flask of whiskey.
"When you win your first fight with an inmate, you can have a shot," he
taunted me when I first got hired as he poured a generous amount into his
coffee.
 "Why would I fight one of them?" I had asked. "We're supposed to treat
them humanely, right?"
He had doubled over laughing as if that was the funniest joke he ever
heard. The memory followed me like a ghost as I left the office with the small
bottle, taking it back to the door with the open foodport.
When I kneeled in front of the slot, one pale, scarred white eye and one
brown eye peered at me through the opening.
"Here," I said, shoving the flask through. "It'll numb you and you might
even be able to sleep a little. You’re gonna feel rough tomorrow, though."
He took the flask and twisted the top open, holding it under his nose as he
took a small whiff. Then he held it to his lips and upturned it to swallow
every last drop.
"Well, that's one way to do it," I muttered. "You'll start feeling it soon."
The kid was so thin, he already began to sway where he sat. His lids half-
closed and his brow finally relaxed.
"Hey, before you nod off," I said. "What's your name?"
His eyes snapped open, staring at me with their odd-colored gaze. For the
first time, he looked confused. As if he didn’t understand the question.
"I'm Alejandro de Leon," I offered. "But you can call me Jandro."
His expression relaxed again as he leaned heavily against the door.
"You can call me Shadow."
ONE
 MARIPOSA

PRESENT DAY

I flopped over in bed, my hand slapping down on someone's hard,

muscular body. As my eyes cracked open, my waking brain registered
that this body was covered in short, dense fur.
Sure enough, Hades grinned at me with his goofy Doberman smile before
licking my face. "Ugh, dog breath," I groaned, rolling away for fresh air and
to finish joining the waking world.
The palm trees cast long shadows over the desert landscape, which meant
I slept for several hours. Reaper left to interrogate the outpost guard before I
went down for a nap and still hadn't come back.
I sat up, rubbing my face in an attempt to let the events of the last twenty-
four hours sink in and solidify in my mind.
There was an explosion, and not a minute later, the outpost guards
descended on the Steel Demons MC, despite that we'd come peacefully as
guests.
My heart skipped a beat at the notion that I included myself in that we,
but was I part of them, really? I came as their medic, and I could still feel the
ache of having Reaper between my legs earlier this morning.
 My life flipped upside down in an instant, but several aspects remained
the same. I still provided medical services, my latest patient being the
massive Doberman in the bed next to me. I still traveled the Southwest, only I
rode on the back of a roaring motorcycle instead of by foot or bus.
And just like before, I was surrounded by deadly men who killed with no
hesitation. Only this time, I wasn’t one of their targets. To make matters even
more fun, I slept with the Steel Demons president. Making sense of my
feelings for him or any of these men seemed as productive as unraveling a
spider's web.
On the bright side, the Steel Demons were easy on the eyes and had no
intention of killing me, since I was apparently useful.
I shook my head with a sigh and slid my feet down to the floor. These
kinds of things shouldn't be thought about on an empty stomach and I was
starving.
Hades lifted his head off the pillow, watching me as I got dressed.
"You stay here, boy," I told him. "I'll bring you something from the
kitchen."
He was having none of that. As I headed for the door, he rolled over and
jumped off the bed.
"No!"
I yelled too late, not that he would obey a command from me anyway.
But I just put sixteen stitches in his flank to close up a shrapnel wound from
the explosion.
"Hades, you can't go jumping," I scolded as he approached. "Your wound
needs to heal."
I went to look at it and my heart nearly stopped.
"What the fuck?" I ran my hand over the shaved section of fur just above
the incision. "How did you heal so fast?"
He wasn't fully healed, but the progress looked much further than just a
few hours. Both sides of the incision had already sealed together, and shiny
scar tissue was beginning to form.
I sat on the floor, stunned out of my damn mind. It should have been
weeks before it looked like that. On top of his freakish ability to run
alongside Reaper's bike without stopping, it became all too clear that nothing
was ordinary about this dog.
"How long have I been asleep?" I asked his toothy grin. "Really now. Did
I get put under some sleeping beauty spell and only your kiss could wake me
up?"
He leaned forward and licked my face, assaulting me with slobber and
dog breath again.
"Ugh, I knew it," I laughed, rolling backwards. "Your breath smells like
the underworld itself, but you're the only prince around here."
He pranced around me playfully, eyes bright and alert. The drugs I gave
him had worn off and he seemed like a brand-new pup.
"Well, if you're feeling better," I climbed to my feet. "I guess you can
come with me on my quest for food.”
He let out an excited yip and immediately went to the door. We left
Reaper's suite together, Hades' back nearly brushing my hip as we made our
way down the quiet halls.
I was honestly relieved to have him with me. The Steel Demons escaped
the outpost guards and rescued me, Reaper, and a badly injured Hades from a
ravine just outside the property. Reaper told me it was safe to walk around
now, which I took as code to mean they killed everyone in retaliation for their
capture.
Everyone except for that guard now being interrogated in their custody,
and who knew what his fate would be in the hands of these men?
Despite the threat of danger gone, the eerie quietness of the place set me
on high alert. My sandaled feet and Hades' claws were the only sounds
echoing off the sandstone tiles and columns. The kitchen was just as quiet as
I pushed open the swinging door.
 I went immediately to the large refrigerator while Hades sniffed along the
supply shelf on the opposite wall.
He's probably starving, too, I realized as I scanned the produce and
prepped ingredients in sealed containers. Meat and dairy was scarce, but if I
could find some rice or potatoes, he would probably make do with that for a
little while.
I pulled open a drawer and almost shouted with excitement. Eggs! A good
source of protein and calories for dogs and humans. Running my hands over
the various shades of brown shells, I counted more than thirty in the carton. It
had to be insanely difficult to get fresh eggs from a farmer this far up in the
mountains. The more plausible answer was this place had its own chicken
coop.
"Hades!" I whistled as I grabbed two eggs in each hand. "Want a yummy
scramble for—“
A threatening growl and a whimper cut me off. I set the eggs down on the
counter and darted in the direction of the sound. "Hades, what—“
Tucked back in a corner of the kitchen, a girl sat on the floor with her
knees to her chest. Hades' teeth were bared as he snarled inches away from
her face.
"Hades, back off!"
He ignored me, naturally, so I pushed him out of the way and kneeled
between him and the girl.
"Hey, he won't hurt you. He's just protective. Are you okay?"
She lifted her head just a few inches and nodded, peering at me over her
knees. I recognized her as one of the kitchen girls who served us when we
first arrived.
"No one's going to hurt you." I placed a hand on her arm in an attempt to
soothe her. "My name's Mariposa."
"They killed everyone," she said in a shaky whisper.
"It's...it's not what it seems." I sounded like I was making really lame
excuses for the MC's carnage, and maybe I was. "The club was deceived by
the owner of this place. They retaliated and won. But you weren't involved.
They don't hurt innocents, I promise you."
Her head lifted another few inches. "They won't... take me?"
How was I supposed to answer that? They took me, albeit not in the way
she was probably thinking. I was afraid of that too at first, but by the time
Reaper slid inside me, I wanted him just as badly as he did me.
While my feelings were a jumbled mess, I knew I could trust the Steel
Demons president and his men to not hurt this girl. So I clasped my hand
over hers and chose to reassure her.
"They won't touch you. I swear it."
"You better not fucking touch her!"
I turned my head slightly to see a gun barrel hovering in my peripheral
vision.
"Step away!" the gun wielder demanded. "Back up slowly."
I did as instructed, finding out the gun's owner was the second kitchen
worker as I backed up to the counter.
"Take it easy," I breathed, hands raised and eyes locked on the long, dark
barrel pointed at my chest. "No one's hurting anyone."
Hades did not get the memo to calm down. He turned fearlessly to the girl
with the gun, teeth bared and a low growl in his chest. It was enough for her
eyes to cast a nervous flicker toward him, but she kept her focus on me.
"You're with them," she spat at me. "The road pirates who came here and
killed everyone."
"Rightfully so because your boss was going to kill them first," I shot
back. "Don't act like your side is so innocent in this."
"All we do is cook! We don't have much of a choice in what side we
pick."
"Then put the gun down," I told her. "Because we're not your enemies.
Shoot that thing at me or the bikers and you'll make enemies, though."
 Her wide eyes darted with indecision as the barrel lowered just slightly. I
couldn't blame the girl for feeling conflicted. Like me, she probably made it
this far by not trusting anyone.
When she didn't lower it fast enough, Hades made an attempt to speed up
the process.
By biting her hand.
"Ahh! Get it off!" she screamed as the gun clattered to the floor.
I held my breath as I watched the weapon fall and then kicked it away.
Hades immediately released her hand and sat on his haunches like a good
boy. He returned my bewildered stare with innocent, large eyes. The damn
dog really was just making sure she'd drop the gun.
"I'm fucking bleeding!" the girl wailed, curling her hand to her chest.
"Get the bandages!" she yelled to her friend, quiet as a statue still sitting on
the floor.
"Let me see," I reached out for her arm and gave her an annoyed look
when she pulled away. "You're lucky I'm a trained medic. If you want to
handle a dog bite on your own, be my guest."
She stared me down with her best defiant look before relenting, holding
her injured hand out to me.
"Let's wash it in the sink," I suggested, walking around the island counter.
"If you have a first aid kit, you can grab that," I told the other girl.
"This doesn't mean we're going to service any of those men you came
with," the injured woman hissed through gritted teeth as I washed the blood
off.
"You're not expected to. Just do the same kitchen work you've been doing
while we stay." I looked up and met her eyes. "Like I told your friend, they
won't touch you."
Her eyes narrowed at me. "You shouldn't stay long, anyway. Our food
stores are low."
"Really, now? When you're this far into the mountains?" I countered,
scrubbing her puncture wounds with the soap bar. "You had an awful lot of
eggs from what I saw."
She squirmed a little. "We have good relationships with farmers in the
area. They make regular deliveries to us."
"In exchange for what?"
"Why are you so fucking nosy?" She pulled her hand from my grip. "I'm
just saying your gang should leave if they don't want to starve. They're too
big and have too many mouths to feed."
"It just doesn't make sense," I said coolly as I shut the water off. "A place
this isolated would be a lot more likely to have its own food sources. You
can't get that many fresh eggs without a chicken coop nearby."
"We don't have a chicken coop!" she insisted. "Those are to last us until
the next delivery in a week. We just don't have enough for you, your dog, and
all your men."
"And I think you're lying," I crossed my arms. "So how many chickens do
you have? Any other livestock?"
"We don't have any—“
A clatter of metal on metal announced that her friend just returned with a
first aid kit and dropped it on the counter. But it was the soft flapping sound
that followed that drew mine and Hades' attention to the open window.
"Ahhh!" both girls screamed as Gunner’s falcon, Horus, flew into the
kitchen and skidded across the counter with his limp victim in his talons.
"What is that?" the first girl whimpered as Horus began plucking at his
bloodied carcass on the kitchen counter like this was his roost all along.
Hades let out an excited bark, propping his front paws on the counter to
sniff out his feathered friend's conquest. Horus had already made serious
headway on tearing his prey open, but the downy feathers in the air, scaly
feet, and short beak gave it away.
The falcon caught a chicken for dinner. And Hades gave him puppy eyes
like he was asking him to share.
 I turned slowly to the kitchen girl whose face paled as she watched the
scene before us.
Maybe it was rude of me but I was completely unable to help the
smugness in my voice.
"You were saying?"
TWO
 MARIPOSA

T he kitchen girls, whose names I found out to be Marnie and Mimi, gave
me no trouble after that. They showed me their small farm hidden at
the bottom of a hill on the far side of the outpost—far away from all the guest
rooms and accommodations.
In addition to about thirty adult chickens, they also had a small herd of
goats, vegetable patches and fruit trees. Some supplies still required trading
with other farmers but as I suspected, this place was largely self-sufficient.
When I asked Mimi, the girl who'd been bitten, if they could make
chicken for the Steel Demons that evening, she was a lot more
accommodating than before.
Horus gorged himself on his kill but left most of it on the counter, seeing
as he wasn't a huge bird himself. The girls were thoroughly grossed out by
the mess he made and refused to touch it. So I took to cooking up the
leftovers with a mix of egg, rice, and a few vegetables for Hades.
"Why are you so cute?" I laughed as his stubby tail and whole rear end
wiggled excitedly. "How do you know this is for you, huh?"
I put the food mixture in a clean, metal bowl and set it on the floor next to
him, along with a bowl of water. As he scarfed down everything like he
hadn't eaten in weeks, the healing scar on his flank caught my attention again.
With him distracted by food, I ran a hand down his side as if touching him
would reveal the trick my eyes were playing on me. But nothing changed. At
this rate, he would be fully healed within two days.
Right then someone pushed forcefully through the kitchen door, making it
bounce off the wall. The kitchen girls screamed.
"Thought I'd find you two together," Reaper's deep, gravelly voice
traveled through the air and reached my ears like a caress. "Didn't think it'd
be in here, though."
"I got hungry," I replied with a shrug, despite my pulse elevating with
each step he took closer to me. "Hades decided to come with."
Reaper's bright green eyes dropped from my face to his dog, now licking
his food bowl clean.
"He's walking already?" The Steel Demons president ran a hand down the
dog's back, patting his ribs.
"More than that. Look," I pointed to the incision, "it's already closed up
and scarring over. A week's worth of healing in hours."
Reaper looked pleased, but otherwise completely unsurprised. "You
always were a fast healer, huh, boy?"
It was more than fast healing. I was pretty certain it was physically
impossible. Just like running alongside a motorcycle going eighty miles per
hour, for hours.
But before I could bring up any of this, Reaper pinned me with a stare
that caught my breath in my throat.
"You weren't waiting for me in bed, like I told you to." He patted Hades
out of the way to stand right in front of me with my back pinned to the
kitchen counter.
"I told you, I got hungry."
"Mm." He rested his fingers gently on the edge of my jaw while his
thumb stroked across my lower lip. "So did I."
"Lucky for you," I tilted my head just out of contact with his hand, "they
have chickens here. We'll be eating well during our stay."
 "That's not what I'm hungry for." A slow, devious smile formed on his
lips. "You two," he addressed the kitchen girls for the first time. "Leave. Give
us ten, no, five minutes."
Mimi's eyes darted back and forth just as they did when I told her to put
the gun away. This time, she did as was asked much faster, scurrying out
through the back doors with Marnie on her heels.
"What are you doi—“
My question was cut off by Reaper's mouth smothering mine just as he
lifted me by the waist to sit on the counter. Flying to his shoulders for
balance, my hands gripped the smooth, well-worn leather of his cut. His kiss
was harsh, roughened by the dark stubble growing on his face. And still I
held on and pulled him closer to deepen it.
"Hades, go." His mouth broke away to give the command and returned to
conquer mine before I had a chance to take a breath.
"You want to do this here?" I panted when his lips dragged across my
cheek to my earlobe, his fingers already hooking in the waistband of my
pants.
"Sugar, I want you anywhere and everywhere," he chuckled with a nip to
my ear. "But I'm about to hold church and only have a few minutes."
His mouth returned to mine as he stripped my lower half bare. The
stainless steel counter was cold against my heated flesh and my mind still
reeled with the question of what exactly Reaper wanted. A quickie? He
stepped away when I reached for his belt buckle, bending at the waist to place
a soft kiss on my thigh with a devilish smile.
Oh.
That was what he meant when he said he was hungry.
He pulled my hips forward with a grunt, making me lean back on my
elbows and bringing my pussy right up to his face. Which seemed to be just
where he wanted it.
He kissed me there with just as much need and passion as he kissed my
mouth. My head fell back wantonly with a moan and he answered with a,
"hmmm," of his own against my tender flesh. The vibration of his voice on
my skin ignited every nerve in my body. I found myself raising my hips,
pressing myself harder against his mouth in a silent plea for more.
Reaper's lips pulled back into a smile as a throaty chuckle escaped him.
His eyes, hooded with desire, lifted to meet mine.
"Enjoying yourself?" He slid a hand down my thigh to press achingly
slow circles around my clit.
"I can think of worse ways to spend my time," I panted, matching his
cocky grin. God forbid this man's ego get any bigger. We'd all be crushed
under the weight of it if that happened.
"I see," he mused with mock thoughtfulness as his hand moved lower,
stroking through my wet folds until he found my entrance.
His eyes remained locked on mine as he pressed a finger inside me, then
another. It was the most intense game of don't-blink-first as his fingers curled
up to stroke my channel. He held me captive with that green gaze as he toyed
with me, alternating between hard and fast, slow and gentle.
I was biting into my lip so hard, I was seconds away from tasting blood.
When my lids fluttered closed and my head fell back again, I knew I'd lost.
His soft laugh against my skin was cocky with his victory.
He pressed another kiss to my thigh right before dragging his lips to the
small bundle of nerves that had been begging for attention since he first
walked in. The moment his mouth sealed over my clit, I knew I was done for.
He rendered me powerless with just his mouth and hands and it felt wholly
unfair.
Rolling my hips shamelessly against his face, I raked my nails through
the dark hair of his scalp, wishing I could touch more of him. Maybe then I'd
have a shot at having him at my mercy for a change.
Reaper was a fair man, but I never pegged him as especially generous. So
why he was pleasing me so selflessly, I couldn't be sure. Would he want
something in return later?
My tongue wet my lips at the thought of taking his long, hard length into
my mouth. I could see the shape of it now, practically punching a hole in his
jeans. All men loved blowjobs, but could I reduce the almighty Reaper to a
quivering mess like he was doing to me right now? Would he ever allow such
a thing?
His skilled suction of my clit and rhythmic stroking of his fingers in and
out of me took me right to the edge, but it was the thought of him at the
mercy of my mouth that pushed me over.
Stars danced in my vision as my body convulsed with release. He let out
another pleased hum against my clit as my pussy closed around his fingers.
He pulled his hand out of me with a wet sucking sound and licked both his
fingers.
"Delicious," he purred, standing to his full height.
I stared up at him, spread-eagle and exposed on the counter as I fought to
catch my breath.
"I take it you want the favor returned?" My eyes fell to the bulge in his
pants, my mouth already watering for it.
"Later," he said, kneeling to help me back into my pants. "I'm already late
for church."
"Oh, right. You said that." I swore my orgasms before this never made me
sound so dumb. All the blood rushing to my clit must have deprived my brain
of oxygen.
I hopped down from the counter and smoothed my hands down my
clothes, like I was going to fool anyone that Reaper and I had just been
telling knock-knock jokes.
He grabbed my shirt in his fist and pulled me in for another kiss, with his
lips and tongue still coated in my arousal and just as possessive as ever.
"I just had to taste you," he murmured with a light flick of his tongue
against my lips before he pulled away. "You seriously better be waiting in my
bed tonight. Or there'll be no more coming for you, sugar."
He grinned at my resulting frown, then playfully tapped me on the nose
before turning to leave the kitchen.
"Hades!" he called, followed by a high-pitched whistle. Not a second
later, I heard the trotting of four feet alongside his master.
Reaper left me so hot and bothered, I realized I completely forgot to ask
about the man they'd been interrogating.
And possibly torturing.
THREE
 GUNNER

F ucking motherfucker of all fucking fucks. We were utterly and

completely fucked, and not in the good way.
I barely took note of everyone filing into the conference room for church.
My thoughts were too fucking loud. If what Fischlin's guard said was true,
the entire wellbeing of the club was at risk.
No, not just the club. Sheol. Our home, the women and kids, everyone.
And it all fell on my shoulders.
I trusted General Tash. Every deal we ever made had gone smoothly, no
bumps or issues. He seemed like a fair guy, never asking for too much, nor
trying to undercut us on our goods. The agreement we had seemed to be
mutually beneficial. So why would he turn around and try to fuck us with a
cactus? None of it made any sense.
A hand clapped down on my shoulder, jolting me out of my hamster
wheel of thoughts.
"Not your fault, man," Jandro muttered as he sank into the chair next to
me. Shadow slipped into the one on the other side of him without making a
sound. "We'll figure it out."
"I need a fucking drink, bro," I sighed, dropping my forehead into my
hands. "This is such bullshit."
"It's gonna be all right," he patted my back. "Plenty of other generals are
looking for black market supplies. We have plenty to choose from."
"Tash was supposed to be one of the trustworthy ones," I groaned. "How
many did we vet before going with him? A fuck-ton."
"Where the fuck is Reaper?" Jandro swiveled his chair to look around the
room, only to be met with shrugs.
"Probably getting his dick examined by the medic," Big G snorted from
across the table.
"She has to find it first," Dallas added, earning him chuckles from
everyone except me, Jandro, and Shadow.
Then again, I didn't know if Shadow could laugh even if he was given
step-by-step instructions.
"Motherfucker," Jandro slapped his palms down on the table and rose to
his feet just as Reaper came through the doorway with Hades at his side.
"Sorry I'm late. Swung by the kitchen for a bite to eat."
The smirk he wore as he took his seat at the head of the table was more
than telling. An exchanged glance with Jandro told me he was thinking the
exact same thing.
"Close the doors. Church is in session." Reaper struck the gavel on the
wooden table once before setting it down to rub his forehead. "We've got a
lot to unpack here, boys. Let's start at the beginning. Jandro?"
"We arrived roughly two-and-a-half days ago," the vice president
recounted. "Gunner, Reaper and I went in with an offering of ceramic-tipped
arrows in exchange for three days’ stay and the hopes of a future business
relationship."
"How did Fischlin receive us, in your opinion?"
"As expected," Jandro shrugged. "He seemed surprised by our visit, and
not pleasantly so. But he came around after seeing what we offered and the
deal went smoothly."
"Gunner?" Reaper turned to face me. "Would you agree with that
assessment?"
 "I would, President. It wasn't until we stayed a full day that I noticed
Fischlin's guards keeping an especially close eye on us. And they were
already utilizing the arrows we gave."
"I went up to the lounge to smoke after Jandro and I went for a ride that
morning," Reaper continued. "One of the kitchen girls fetched me saying
Fischlin wanted to discuss something right then. On my way over there, the
explosion knocked Hades and me into the ravine."
"We heard it and sent Mariposa over the wall before they swarmed in on
us," Jandro picked up where he left off. "At the pool we had no weapons, so
we surrendered and allowed them to lock us up. We remained there until
Shadow let us out."
"Shadow," Reaper addressed the large, silent man to Jandro's right.
"Where were you while this was happening?"
The whole table fell silent. Shadow's jaw ticked as his dark eye slid over
to Jandro, who gave him a nudge and an encouraging nod. The big guy didn't
like to talk, especially at the church table, so we waited patiently for his
piece.
"I was in my room when I heard the explosion," Shadow began. "I waited
there while they captured the rest of you—"
"Yeah, thanks for the help," Big G interrupted to scoff at him. "Hiding
out while they rounded up your brothers and took us prisoner."
"Hey," Jandro snapped. "Unless you've got something useful to say, keep
your fuckin' mouth shut."
"Both of you shut the fuck up," Reaper pounded the table with his gavel
before nodding at Shadow. "Go on."
"I had to catch them unaware to maximize the efficiency of an attack,"
Shadow stared directly at Big G. "Otherwise, I would have been captured like
the rest of you and then no one would get you out."
"Big G's just being a big prick," Jandro glared across the table. "Everyone
here knows how you operate. Keep going, man."
 "A few hours after taking all of you, they began searching the rooms,"
Shadow continued. "They shouted loudly about finding the woman—“
"Mariposa," I muttered under my breath. For some reason it irked me how
Shadow talked about her. I couldn't place my finger on it exactly, but he
made her sound like an object. The woman, like she was some obstacle we
had to deal with.
"Their shouting and carelessness made them easy targets," Shadow went
on. "I knifed the man who got into my room, took his bow and quiver, then
killed everyone in my way until I reached you all."
"Did you really sneak up on every single one of them?" Dallas asked in
wide-eyed fascination.
"A few saw me right before they died," Shadow shrugged.
“Once Shadow got us out, we took weapons out of the armory," I decided
to pick up the storytelling next. "One of the guards ran up to us in surrender,
saying Fischlin was escaping with someone. We ran toward his office, saw
where the explosion happened, but we were too late to catch him."
"He was on the back of someone's bike riding south," Jandro added.
"They were too far away to see a patch on the cut."
"And our surrendered guard tells us General Tash has been here multiple
times," Reaper drummed his fingers on the tabletop. "Pumping tons of
resources into this place. Giving them solar panels, high-quality building
materials, even chickens and goats for food. All to fuck us over. Why?"
"Another question," Jandro piped up. "How did he know we were
coming?"
"Gunner," Reaper's gaze snapped to me. "When was your last contact
with the general?"
"Same as everyone's, when we made our deal in Navajo almost two
weeks ago. Right before we stopped in Old Phoenix for the last time." And
brought ourselves home a pretty little medic.
"You're sure?" The question came from Big G. My head snapped over to
him, the edges of my vision already tinged with red.
"Yeah, I'm fucking sure, G. You think I would keep secrets from the
club? From my brothers?"
"I dunno, man. I'm just sayin'." The fucker leaned back in his seat as he
backpedaled. "You're the one in charge of making the deals and shit. Maybe
Tash wasn't too happy about something and—“
I was on my feet and my fists hit the table before I could stop myself.
"I'm your captain, you pussy son-of-a-bitch! You want to throw
accusations at me? Get over here and back that shit up! Be a fucking man!"
The whole room broke out into a chorus of discernable yells, but I tuned
it all out. I couldn't even hear myself. My only goal was to feel the satisfying
crunch of my fist into Big G's skull. But someone grabbed me and held me
back before I could reach the motherfucker.
"I said, ENOUGH!" Reaper bellowed with a raised hand.
Everyone quieted down, our ragged breaths the only sounds in the room
as everyone looked to the president.
"Church is adjourned until everyone can fucking get ahold of
themselves," Reaper snarled, his eyes scanning over all of us. "That goes for
all of you. No digs at what anyone did or didn't do. No accusations without
solid proof. Get the fuck out of my sight."
"Gun, you gonna be cool?" Jandro asked, indicating he was the one
holding me back.
"Yeah," I didn't take my eyes off of Big G. "I'm good."
He released me and I straightened my clothes right before pointing at the
loudmouthed piece of shit. "You're out of my guard. I'm giving your post to
someone loyal when we get back."
"Gunner," Reaper cut in, stepping in front of him before he could
respond. "A word?"
I blew out a long breath, pushing my hair back as I nodded. "Yeah.
'Course, president."
 He clapped me on the back, leading me out of the room and toward an
open balcony overlooking the pool. Reaching into his cut, he pulled out his
cigarette case and offered me one. I accepted it and took a big drag the
moment he lit the end for me.
"Anything you want to tell me, Gun?" The slim, black cigarette bobbed
between Reaper's lips as he spoke.
I exhaled a plume of white smoke, leaning against one of the columns as
the nicotine hit my brain.
"Nothing that'll help," I said before taking another drag. "I'm just worried,
Reap. Our whole community depends on me for goods. Now I have to
scramble to take care of our people." I hissed a breath through my teeth as a
fresh surge of anger hit me. "I know what it looks like since I've had the most
contact with Tash out of all of us, but fuck, man."
Reaper watched me silently, pale smoke swirling around him.
"You know I'm loyal, Reap," I said. "I've bled for this club. I'm a Steel
Demon to my core. I would never, ever fuck us over."
"I believe you, Gun." Reaper turned and leaned his forearms over the
balcony. "But someone within us has fucked us over.” He glanced down at
Hades guarding us faithfully before asking in a low voice, "Have you seen
anything suspicious through Horus?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary since we got here,” I answered with the
same low tone. "I'll keep looking, though."
"Make sure you watch everyone," Reaper ordered under his breath. "Even
Jandro, Mariposa. Hell, even me."
"Narcing on yourself, President?" I asked with a dry laugh.
"It's like how those old mysteries used to go," he chuckled as he tossed
his cigarette butt over the balcony. "Everyone's a suspect. Especially the one
who seems the most innocent."
FOUR
 MARIPOSA

W ith the guys wrapped up in their business and now Hades

abandoning me to be with his master, I ran out of things to do.
My belly was full of food and my latest patient had been treated for her
dog bite. I could keep wandering the empty halls of this place, hide out in my
room, or relax by the pool.
Or you could strip down and wait in Reaper's bed for him, like he wanted
you to.
I huffed to myself as I dug out a clean swimsuit and stripped out of my
normal clothes. Not that the idea wasn't tempting, especially after what he did
in the kitchen. But I still didn't want to make myself that available to him.
A man like him got bored if women offered themselves too easily. His
confrontation with Heather showed me that. He'd just jump to the next girl if
I came to his every beck and call. I already figured he'd discard me for
something new and shiny eventually. He all but promised me that with the
whole, "I don't do traditional relationships" pitch.
But I had to admit I was enjoying my tryst with the Steel Demons
president and wanted to make it last. And if I remained a career medic with
the club, I had to accept the doggish behavior of its members. At least they
didn't coerce women into bed with them and generally seemed trustworthy.
After getting into my suit, my pulse sped up as I walked out onto the pool
deck. This was where everything happened. The explosion. Guards swarming
in. Gunner looking like he was having a seizure.
I dragged a deck chair over to the sun and sank into it, keeping the doors
in my peripheral vision. I had nothing to fear now but still felt the need to
check my exits.
The hot, dry desert air parched my throat. I closed my eyes and imagined
a margarita. Texas had several dry counties even before the Collapse, but the
teetotalers wasted no time in coming out of the woodwork afterward. Nearly
half of the former state of Texas forbade alcohol by the time I graduated
school, which only created a black market for it. Beer was easy enough to
make and no one cared much about how it tasted, but distilling liquor was
more difficult. Especially on a large scale. Authentic tequila from Mexico
cost a small fortune.
My dad had a bottle stashed away that we hoarded like gold. The last time
I tasted tequila was when we took shots on my twenty-first birthday.
"There's three rules—lick, swallow, suck, but no one tells you the fourth
one," Dad warned me.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Don't tell your mom," he laughed, pinching my cheek. "She'll kill me."
A splash pulled me out of my memories, prompting me to crack one eye
open. I was greeted by the sight of Gunner cutting elegantly through the pool.
He did several laps back and forth of a sleek butterfly stroke. It looked
absolutely beautiful, but exhausting as hell.
His long arm swept through the water, every muscle flexed. He wore the
Steel Demons horned skull tattoo on his upper back, the edges of the design
stretching out to the backs of his arms. With the way he moved, it almost
looked like demonic black wings spread across his back.
A demonic angel. How fitting.
Powerful kicks of his legs drove him up before crashing down. I lost
count of how many laps he did, but he didn't stop until he looked ready to slip
beneath the surface.
He held onto the edge of the pool with one hand, chest expanding with
hard, ragged breaths. I startled when he punched the pool wall with his other
hand, muttering curses to himself.
It wasn't until then that I realized the sunniest, most cheerful of the
demons was seriously pissed off.
I lowered my feet to the ground and stood, walking tentatively toward the
pool's edge. He flashed a smile as soon as he saw me, but I saw the grimace
underneath.
"Hey, Mari," he greeted, shielding his eyes from the sun. "You are a sight
to behold," he added, taking in my bikini.
I ignored his comment and sat on the edge, dipping my feet into the water
next to him.
"Let me see your hand."
"Sweet of you to worry," he chuckled. "But it's nothing, baby girl. Church
was just frustrating, that's all."
"I'm not leaving you alone until you let me see."
"Well, that's fine with me," he grinned, dipping his head back so his
blond hair spread across the surface. "I like you right where you are."
"Come on, Gunner," I extended my hand to him. "I saw blood in the
water. Give it."
"Hmm," he pretended to consider it for a moment. "Only because I'll
never turn down a pretty girl holding my hand."
I couldn't think of a snappy comeback, so I distracted myself with
examining his scraped knuckles while the flush creeped up my neck and into
my cheeks.
"You'll be fine. Just don't make a habit out of punching solid walls."
I released his hand, but he kept it in my lap for a few seconds before
letting it drop back into the pool. Water droplets trailed from my knees down
my calves like fingertips.
 "I won't." His voice carried an edge of seriousness. "I just had to pretend
it was someone's face."
"Whose?"
"Doesn't matter. Hey!" His grin returned as he tickled along the bottoms
of my feet. "Want your first swim lesson?"
"No!" I kicked toward his chest, hitting him with a good splash. "Not
after that stunt you pulled."
This guy picked me up and dropped me in the pool before I had a chance
to say I couldn't swim.
"I won't do that again, promise." He went serious again, grabbing my foot
and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll just show you how to float on your back.
Super simple."
I stopped kicking, enjoying his grip on my ankle more than I'd like to
admit.
"You won't let me drown?"
"Cross my heart." He did the motion over his chest. "You trust me,
Mari?"
I steeled myself, grabbing the edge just outside my knees. "Yeah, I do."
His smile lit up his eyes at that point, shining like two sapphires. "Okay.
Hop in when you're ready."
We were at the shallow end, so I knew I'd hit the bottom safely. Still, I
appreciated that he moved in front of me so I could hold onto his shoulders as
I slid off the edge and into the water.
"I got you." Gunner placed a gentle hold on my waist until my feet hit the
bottom.
"Okay," I breathed, looking up at him. "Now what?" The closeness of him
was overwhelming, and yet the safest place to be.
"Turn this way." He guided me with a hand on the back of my arm until
the side of my body faced his chest. "Now start leaning back like you're lying
down in a bathtub."
 "Uh..."
"Your feet are going to want to float up. Just let them. I've got your
back." The weight of his hand pressed to my lower back. "I won't let you
sink, Mari."
I nodded before grabbing his forearm with one hand and the pool ledge
with the other. "Don't ask me to let go, 'cause I won't."
"That's all right," he smiled. "Hold onto me all you want."
I took a deep breath and started tilting my head back, the desert sky and
tops of the palm trees entering my vision.
"Keep breathing. Just relax," Gunner instructed. "Your ears will go
underwater but not your face. You'll be able to breath the whole time."
I nodded and allowed the back of my head to kiss the surface of the
water. My toes stretched out along the bottom, curling to hold onto the
sensation of solid ground. Gunner's hands on my back helped, but I was still
scared to let go.
"Look straight up. Let your feet come up," he repeated gently. "I've got
you."
When I leaned my head back just another inch, that was when my ears
went below the surface and my feet lifted off the ground. I squeezed Gunner's
forearm in a moment of panic. I couldn't hear him anymore!
But he leaned over me, looking down with a smile and mouthed, "Good
job."
His voice was warbled and distorted but I could hear him after all, which
was a huge relief.
"Am I doing it?" I asked, probably too loudly. "Am I floating?"
"You're doing it, baby girl."
He took one hand away from my back, which scared me into death-
gripping his arm again, only until he pressed upward softly on my calves to
float my legs higher.
"You're doing it on your own," he beamed down at me. "You don't need
to hold onto anything."
"Don't let me go!"
"I won't." He leaned closer to me, the tips of his wet hair brushing my
skin. "Promise I won't."
Goddamn, his eyes were gorgeous. And his smile. And...everything. He
was such a beautiful specimen of a human being. I didn't notice how
shamelessly I stared at him until he pulled back, looking at something in the
distance.
"Ready to come up?"
I nodded and he returned both hands to my back, tilting me upward
slowly until my feet found solid ground once again.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he grinned, lowering into the water until
only his shoulders were exposed.
"I had a good set of training wheels," I laughed, wringing out my hair.
"You can totally do it on your own," he assured me. "I think your fear is
worse than what you're actually afraid of. Like, what's that saying?" He ran
his hands through his hair, creating drops and rivulets running down his neck.
"The only thing to fear is fear itself. I think one of the early presidents said
that."
"Can't decide if those are words of wisdom or total bullshit," I teased,
aiming a splash at him.
He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "There's a fine line between both, maybe."
A few moments of silence passed between us, with water lapping at the
pool's edges as the only sound.
"Hey," I voiced softly. "Thanks, Gunner. I've never been able to do that
before."
"Sure thing, baby girl." He looked toward the direction of the kitchen.
"Think I'll head in for some grub. I heard chicken's on the menu. You
coming?"
"I already ate, but thanks," I answered. "I got to watch Horus tear apart a
whole chicken earlier."
"He's a savage," Gunner laughed. "That beak does not lend to careful
eating. Sorry if that grossed you out."
"I have zero issue with blood and guts everywhere. But I think the kitchen
staff were mildly traumatized."
"Ah. It's on them to get used to it then," he grinned, lifting himself out of
the pool with one strong push of his long arms. "Have a good night, Mari.
Keep practicing your float."
"You, too. Thanks again, Gun."
As he toweled himself off, he cast a downward smile that almost seemed
shy. "I should thank you, too."
"For what?"
His eyes flickered up to meet mine. "For trusting me."
FIVE
 REAPER

N ever before had I ever seen my club so divided.

I was so careful to make the Steel Demons an army of men. A
brotherhood that could trust each other, who could work seamlessly as a
single unit. Now, someone I vetted and trusted was a backstabbing piece of
shit. Someone in this dining room knew General Tash wanted to fuck us, and
told that slimy shit bag we were coming.
And I had no idea who.
At dinner, people broke off to eat in pairs or by themselves, eyeballing
everyone else with suspicion. No one received more stink-eyes than Gunner.
On the surface, he appeared to take it all in stride. He met the stares with
defiance and never gave off a hint of guilt. But I knew it ate him up inside
that his brotherhood, his chosen family, suspected him of betrayal so quickly.
He took up one of the low couches with his chicken burrito, pitcher of
beer, and loyal falcon at his shoulder. His feet stretched out on the coffee
table, crossed leisurely at the ankles. He was making it clear he belonged here
and it was one of these other sneaky fuckers that didn't.
Only Shadow sat near him, devouring chicken tacos in between swigs of
vodka. They didn't speak, but I knew without a doubt Shadow's presence
close by was a silent move of solidarity. Those two weren't the closest in the
club but the mutual respect between them was strong.
 A plate clattered near my beer, followed by Jandro sliding into the seat
next to me.
"You trust Gunner?" he asked before taking a large bite of his chicken
taco.
"Yes," I answered without hesitation. "You trust Shadow?"
"Yes." He washed his food down with my untouched beer. "So it's safe to
assume the weasel isn't one of us four?"
"I'm certain it isn't." I'd known Jandro nearly my whole life, and Gunner
only a few years less. I knew Shadow the least of anyone, but if Jandro
trusted him, that was all I needed.
"I asked Gun to have Horus keep a close eye on everyone," I said.
"Including me."
"You?" Jandro scoffed. "Why?"
"I guaran-fuckin'-tee you someone thinks I'm the cause of this. If we're
gonna have a witch hunt, no one can be exempt."
"Does that include Mariposa?"
I leaned back against a column, taking note of her absence in the dining
room. Why wasn't she here? More specifically, why wasn't she lying back on
this table, serving me up that sweet pussy for dessert?
"No one suspects it's her," I answered. "She has no power in the club and
hasn't been with us long enough to know about our dealings."
"Is that what you think?" Jandro's gaze on me was heavy. "Has she really
embraced being with us or is she still trying to find a way to escape us?”
I didn't have an immediate answer for him and he noticed.
"She's been with us a couple of weeks now," I sighed, rubbing my eyes.
"And in that time, I haven't asked her what she wants."
Jandro tilted his head at me. "Whether or not it has anything to do with
this, that might be worth finding out."
I FOUND Mariposa in my suite, which delighted me immensely. But rather
than naked in my bed, she was dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top,
sitting in an armchair in the entry room.
Hades went to her immediately, forcing her to put her book down as he
practically jumped into her lap.
"Hey, good boy! How are you?" she cooed, rubbing the sides of his face
before placing a kiss on his snout.
"You're going to spoil him rotten," I groaned, kicking my boots off in the
doorway.
"Good. He deserves it." She continued scratching him, making sure to get
his ears and his belly as he twisted, contorted, and squeezed to get his big
body snuggled up next to her.
He laid his head on her stomach and looked at me, smiling blissfully as if
to say, Oh yes. I deserve this.
"And what does his master get, hmm?" I shrugged off my cut and draped
it over the back of a chair.
"I don't know," Mari watched me with caution as I approached her. "His
master doesn't strike me as a good boy."
"He better fucking not," I growled, curling my fist in the hair at her nape
as I leaned over to steal a kiss from her.
She played a tough chick, acting like she could push my buttons and
pretend like she didn't want me that badly. But I tasted it in the way her
mouth melted against mine. Her skin flushed with heat. She may not have
been in bed, but she'd been sitting here a while watching that door for me to
come through.
I nudged Hades off of the chair so I could scoop her up. She smiled
against my mouth as I lifted her in my arms, carrying her to the bedroom.
"How was church?" Her lips moved to my neck.
"Can't tell you that." I set her down on the bed and gave a swat to her ass.
"Church is sacred. Top secret information privy only to those who attend."
 She gave me a look over her shoulder. "Gunner seemed upset."
"Yeah," I sighed, pulling apart my belt. "Shit is just kind of tense right
now, in light of recent events."
"The owner trying to kill you guys."
"Yeah, that." I slid a palm over her waist. "And trying to capture you. To
sell or use you, no doubt."
She rolled over to face me, propping her elbow up. We were both lying
on our sides with our legs dangling over the edge of the bed. At some point
the mood shifted from expecting hot, sweaty sex to cuddling and pillow talk.
And I honestly didn't mind it.
"What did you do to the guard?" she asked.
"Nothing." I grabbed her thigh to pull her closer and she ended up
swinging her leg over my hip. "He spilled everything like a waterfall. We
were able to verify he was being honest, too. No creative extraction
necessary."
"So I don't need to examine him?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"Nah," I chuckled. "You can have the night off, Miss Medic."
"What are you going to do with him?" Her hand slid over mine resting on
the side of her leg.
"Dunno yet," I admitted. "Probably drop him off somewhere far away
when we're done here. He's no good to Fischlin's people now. They'll kill him
if they find him."
Her fingers skimmed up my arm, drifting over my shoulder and then my
chest. I secretly loved that she enjoyed touching me so much. Too many
women were afraid to express their own desires nowadays.
"What if you kept him?" Her eyes lifted to mine as she posed the
question. "Brought him into the club?"
"Fuck no," I scoffed. "He is not Steel Demon material."
"Why not? He's honest, right? I know how much you value that."
I sucked in a breath. She had no idea how ironic that statement was,
considering my current dilemma at hand.
"If he rolled over and talked to us so quickly, there's no stopping him
from ratting us out to someone else," I explained. "My guys would never
crack under interrogation. I know that for a fact."
"What if this was an out he'd been looking for?" she pressed. "Slavery
isn't just for women and free labor. A lot of guys have been forced to become
soldiers."
"Don't play that card with me, sugar," I sighed. "I got what I needed from
him. I'm in no position to adopt another stray, as Noelle puts it."
"You already know he's a capable scout and archer." Mari's eyebrows
lifted. "Do you have someone with those sets of talents in your club?"
"I have Gunner, who can hit a sparrow with a slingshot from a hundred
yards away." I chewed the inside of my cheek. What she didn't know was
how busy Gun would be setting up new trade deals now that we no longer
had Tash. The truth was, I could use another marksman.
"It still doesn't hurt to have a variety of talents, right?"
"God damn you, woman." I rolled onto my back, rubbing the heels of my
palms into my eyes. "Why am I actually fucking considering this?"
"Because you know it's a good idea." She remained propped up on her
elbow, her eyes traveling along the length of my torso stretched out on the
bed. "You brought me on after all."
"I brought you on for your medical expertise, not for recruiting new
members into my club." I rolled toward her, not stopping until I had her
pinned beneath me. "But you have been beneficial in other ways."
She wriggled and shot me defiant looks but it was no true struggle. She
was right where she wanted to be. The thought reminded me of what Jandro
said in the dining room, and I halted the kiss I was about to plant on her.
"What do you want?"
She blinked up at me. "That's...an abrupt question."
"Do you actually want to be here? Or would you still run away at the first
chance you got?"
Her gaze up at me was curious, trying to figure me out.
"Since when does what I want matter?" she asked. "You've never
bothered to ask me this since tying me to you on your bike."
"I know. But I'm no slave owner, you told me that yourself. I truly don't
want to keep you against your will, not if you'll take dangerous risks to
escape." I was rambling now—my heart, mind, and mouth at war with how
much I should say. "What you want does matter. To me, it does." I lowered
my forehead to hers, our lips hovering less than an inch apart. "So tell me."
Her hands came up, wrapping around my shoulders.
"I want to heal those who've been hurt," she said, barely above a whisper.
"I want to save lives and put fears to rest. I want to provide hope and a
glimpse of humanity to those who see nothing but pain and loss." Her nails
scratched across my scalp. "As long as I get to do that, I guess it doesn't
really matter where I am, does it?"
My body hovered tense above her. She answered my question in every
way but how I wanted to hear it—did she want to be here, as part of my club,
with me?
"We'll provide no shortage of patients for you to treat,” I said in a clipped
tone. "I can promise you that."
“Oh, don’t get all grumpy on me.” She lifted her lips to press a long,
languid kiss to my mouth. “I’m not afraid you’ll kill or torture me anymore,
so no, I won’t run away. And I’ve resigned to enjoying the perks of being
with the Steel Demons.” She shifted her legs underneath me until they
straddled my waist, and my cock pressed against her core.
“All of the perks,” she added in a sultry whisper.
SIX
 MARIPOSA

I woke up with a heavy arm draped over my waist and a rhythmic, resting
heartbeat against my naked back.
Reaper's breathing tickled the back of my neck. His other arm stretched
out under my head, his bicep as my pillow. I didn't have to turn and look at
him to know his hard, scowling expression was replaced with one of
relaxation.
Careful not to disturb him, I pointed my toes and arched my back, letting
out a soft groan in my stretch. The ache of last night's activities returned as
my body roused, bringing a tiny smile to my face.
I'd never expect a man like Reaper to keep me but I chose to enjoy being
his main course while it lasted. And now in the morning after, enjoy felt like
quite the understatement.
He gave just as much as he took, which I should have realized after that
surprise in the kitchen. Last night I lost track of the orgasms he gave me
before chasing his own, and even after that, he held me against his rapid
heartbeat, panting in my ear as his fingers found their way to my clit again.
A stallion in the sack, I expected. A healthy dose of tenderness with a
near-obsession of getting me off? Quite unexpected.
I started rolling away, peeling my back from the heat of his chest only to
feel his arm clamp down tighter around me.
 "Where you goin'?" he murmured, voice gravelly with sleep.
"Clearly nowhere," I sighed under the weight of his arm. Come to think
of it, he was being just as clingy as Hades.
"That's right." He brought the other arm to wrap in front of my shoulders,
pulling my whole body back against his. "You're mine," he added with a
smoldering kiss to my shoulder blade.
"Reaper..." Any protest I had came out shaky and weak, not due to the
soreness in my body or lack of sleep. But because I still craved that stiff cock
pressing against my ass, his mouth on my skin, and the way he moved against
me.
"Reaper, I'm exhausted," I huffed, despite arching against him. "You
barely let me sleep at all."
"I didn't hear you complaining last night," he teased, helping himself to a
palmful of my ass.
"I think you broke me." I looked over my shoulder at him, unable to help
the coy smile on my face.
"Then I have to fix you, don't I?" Green eyes, hooded with lust and sleep,
met mine with a lazy grin. "I'm no medical professional, but I know what you
need."
"I need a cup of coffee and a shower."
"Mm, you'll get that, too." He slid a hand down the back of my thigh as
he spooned me from behind. The next thing I felt was something hot and
solid pressing against my sex.
"Reaper, I'm still sore." The words came out with a moan, but not as a
complaint. I still wanted him, he just needed to know what he was working
with.
"So stay like this." He held my legs closed as we laid flush together on
our sides. "Just lie with me."
Did I detect a hint of sweetness there? Maybe a tiny shred of
vulnerability? Whatever it was disappeared the moment I looked over my
shoulder, and he captured my mouth in a savage kiss.
He kissed with no less confidence and possessiveness than always, but
they weren't nearly as bruising. Not even when his lips moved to my nape,
merely teasing my skin with light suction even though he knew how much I
liked his roughness. His hands came to my breasts, kneading them with far
more gentleness than the manhandling of last night.
I reached him where I could, bringing one arm back to wrap around his
neck, but I could do little else in this position besides press back and move
with him. He let out a groan between my shoulder blades, only thrusting
enough to rub his cock along my sex without penetrating me. My flesh
slicked with wetness and my core hollowed out. Even after a satisfying,
vigorous night, I needed every inch of him.
"Reaper..." His name was a plea now, not a protest. If I had to be honest,
it was never a protest.
"Mariposa," he answered, burying his face in my neck as his arms
wrapped around my chest.
Every slick of him not entering me was pure torture. My pulse thrummed
in anticipation for that delicious fill of him that never came.
"Reaperrr..."
"I love how you say my name," he growled. "I could tease you all day just
to hear you beg."
"You wouldn't."
"Watch me."
Every time I tried opening my legs to give him access to slide in, he held
them closed.
"You're depriving yourself, too, you know," I huffed in frustration.
"Nah, sugar," he nuzzled my cheek. "I'm just making the ending that
much sweeter."
I leaned my head back on his shoulder, giving in to his control and
relishing in all the sensations running through my body. His hands moved
where he pleased, exploring me as if this was our first time together.
He kept us that way for as long as he could stand it. When he finally
slipped inside me he shuddered against my back, fingers digging into my
waist.
"Keep your legs closed," he moaned. "You're so tight like this, my God..."
The angle of our bodies forced him to take shallow thrusts, which I was
grateful for. I couldn't handle another session of deep pounding, but this right
now was...nice.
I loved the full length of his body pressed against me, the way he grabbed
me and how he kissed all of my sensitive spots. It was all the best things that
lazy morning sex should be.
And my clit, still sensitive and overworked from the night before, tingled
with the onset of yet another orgasm just from the pressure of my thighs
glued together.
"Fuck, why are you getting even tighter?" he growled with a soft chuckle
to my ear. "My poor cock can't take how good you feel."
"I'm gonna come soon," I panted, my fists curling in the sheets.
"Still got a little left in you, huh?" He nipped my shoulder. "Let me feel
it, sugar."
His hand began a slow, sensual descent down my belly before I smacked
it away.
"I'm almost there, just don't stop."
"Mm, I love when you tell me that." His hand returned to my breast,
rolling my aching nipple between his fingers as he kept on with his steady
thrusts. The stamina and control he had was mind-boggling to me. He never
came until I did at least once.
The gentle build-up between my thighs ramped up as Reaper teased my
nipples. I began quivering, tingling in all of my extremities as he sucked my
earlobe and moaned against my neck.
"Fuck, that's so beautiful," he rasped. "Come for me."
 I pressed back on his thrusts with soft whimpers, desperate and frenzied
for a release that was inching along far too slowly. Reaper never tried to rush
me there. He wrapped around me like he could spend the rest of the day just
touching and teasing me.
"Fuck," I panted, squeezing my trembling thighs together like a vice. I
was chasing a feeling that was always just out of reach.
"Relax, sugar. Just let it happen." He kissed my cheek in a way that was
all too endearing for a man like him. "You feel incredible. I can feel how
close you are."
"Ugh," I grunted in frustration. I was dehydrated, hungry, exhausted. No
wonder I never used to care for morning sex.
"You sure you don't want me to touch you?"
"No, too sensitive."
"Here," he pressed on my back. "Roll over."
I rolled onto my stomach as the solid wall of his chest lifted away from
my back. The next thing I felt was a playful smack on my ass.
"Keep them legs closed," he chuckled before pressing my hips down into
the mattress.
When he started thrusting again, new sensations exploded within my
body. Now the bed underneath me added indirect pressure to my clit, along
with my thighs still squeezing together. His cock stroked inside me at a new,
deeper angle. Instead of tiptoeing toward a release, I was now sprinting at full
speed.
"Oh...God...fuck!" The moans and expletives left my mouth faster than
my brain could catch up. I gripped the sheets in my fists and held on for dear
life.
"That's my girl," Reaper groaned, his hips bouncing off my ass with each
tireless thrust. "Come all over my cock."
"I'm gonna...God...Reaper..."
While teetering on the edge, I felt his body lean over to hover above
mine. His lips skimmed over my nape as he whispered, "Mariposa…”
I hurtled over the edge and shattered into a million pieces. Reaper pressed
one final, deep stroke inside me before he let out a shuddering moan against
my back. The spasms and convulsions did all the work for us, drawing my
orgasm out longer while milking his release deep within me.
By the time my orgasm subsided, I had no energy to even lift my head
and rest it on Reaper's chest.
"That did it," I mumbled into the twisted, rumpled sheets. "You didn't just
break me. I'm dead."
"Death by orgasms," he laughed breathlessly, running a hand down my
spine. "What a way to go."
SEVEN
 MARIPOSA

I must have dozed off again, because Reaper's smack on my ass jolted me
so hard I nearly hit the ceiling.
"Ugh, no. No more," I whined, covering myself with the sheet. "I need at
least twelve hours before I can go again."
"Same here, sugar," he squeezed my shoulder as he kissed my neck. "It's
coffee and breakfast time. For real, now."
I rolled over to find he was half-dressed and in the process of putting on a
shirt. Giving him my sweetest, most alluring smile, I said, "Will you bring
some up for me?"
"Hm," he pondered, stroking my cheek. "No."
"Ugh, what?"
The bastard had the nerve to laugh at my crestfallen face. "As much as I
enjoy you," he pecked a kiss on my lips, "I'm not that pussy-whipped." He
swatted my ass again before standing up. "Let's go."
I rolled out of bed and pulled on clothes while he and Hades waited by
the door. The dog's ears perked up at the sight of me, his paws tapping
excitedly on the floor as I approached.
"Hey, boy! Let me see your wound."
I shouldn't have been surprised but my pulse sped up at the sight anyway.
The incision was completely closed and the scar tissue faded to a pale grey
color.
"Looks like I can cut off those stitches, boy." Then to Reaper, "I can't get
over how weird this is. This doesn't freak you out at all?"
"Why would it?" He pulled open the door and led us out into the hallway.
"If it means my best friend can survive what's thrown at him and it keeps him
around longer, why would I question that?"
"Because it's scientifically impossible," I said. "Tissue can take weeks to
reconnect. Not to mention all the blood vessels and the nerve damage from a
cut that deep—"
"You're talking to a guy who never finished high school, Miss Medic,"
Reaper looked at me coyly. "And I was stoned for most of the time I was
there. I don't know any of that scientific stuff you learned with a fancy
education. All I know is what the world has shown me."
"Oh," I said blankly, taken aback. "Sorry, I didn't know."
"You didn't ask." He threw an arm over my shoulder as we descended the
stairs, then pressed a kiss to my temple. "It's all right, sugar. The onset of the
Collapse prevented a lot of us from seeking higher education."
"How so?" I glanced at his hand hanging over my shoulder and wondered
how weird it would be if I tried to hold it.
"Did you ever watch the news?" he teased. "The feds decimated school
funding. Teachers’ pay became a pittance. Nearly every public school in
Arizona went on strike, which accomplished jack fucking shit. That was
about five years pre big-C."
"I heard about the school protests all around the country then. But that
was when the news channels in Texas started being cut off and we depended
on random radio reports. We never knew what to believe."
"Which was exactly what they wanted," Reaper muttered.
"It just surprises me," I looked up at him, the stubble on his jaw getting
longer in the past few days. "You lead a powerful MC, you ask so many
questions, even about abstract ideas—“
 "You saying I'm smarter than I look?" he grinned.
"I didn't mean it like that," I stammered. "You just don't act like you're
uneducated."
"Something my father told me," his voice lowered after a few moments of
silence, "was if someone claimed to have all the answers, they were full of
shit. Question what they say, and see how their actions match their words."
His arm lifted off my shoulders and I felt his fingers skim down my back.
"Hades has always been loyal to me, so I'm less inclined to question every
little thing that happens to him."
We made our way into the dining room as he spoke, his fellow Steel
Demons milling about like regular hotel guests at a continental breakfast.
Their eyes lifted to him as we passed, mumbling words of greeting to their
president and none to me.
Of course not. Why would they? A sobering realization hit me out of
nowhere. He might be sweet to me in the bedroom but out here, I was just
Reaper's arm candy. His flavor of the week, or month if I was lucky. Aside
from eye-fucking me at the Old Phoenix service center, his men barely
acknowledged my existence.
It was painfully obvious as Reaper stopped to chat with two of Gunner's
guardsmen. His hand drifted up to rub a gentle massage on the nape of my
neck. I might as well have been carved from wood—nothing but a prop for
him to touch and claim ownership of.
The longer I stood there, the more uncomfortable I became. Reaper must
have noticed me stiffen because his fingers dug harder into my neck. I was
moments away from slapping his hand off of me when I spotted Gunner
striding down the long corridor ahead of us.
"Gunner!" I called to him with a wave and my heart lifted at his returned
smile. Now there was a rare man who didn't see women as disposable sex
dolls.
"Morning, Mari." Horus spread his wings and sailed off his shoulder to
land on the breakfast bar next to us, much to the dismay of the guy Reaper
was talking to.
Upon closer look, Gunner was dressed for riding. He has his tactical-style
cut on, decked out with pockets and holders for weapons and ammo.
"Going for a ride?" I asked him.
His smile faded, lips pressing together into a thin line. "Yeah. I'd take you
with, but I'm gonna be gone for a couple of weeks."
"What?" I cried.
“Fuckin’ excuse me?" Reaper whirled around on him at the same time.
"Care to explain where the fuck this came from, Captain?"
"President," Gunner returned stiffly. "Can I have a word?"
"Can you have a word, just fuck me with a cactus already..."
Reaper stormed off grumbling. Gunner shot me an apologetic look before
following his president to a private spot near the outside walkway. Now
alone, I went straight for the food, not caring to stand around awkwardly by
Reaper's men.
I piled a plate full of scrambled eggs with sides of potatoes and prickly
pear fruit, then went on a hunt for coffee. Apparently I wasn't the only one.
Shadow towered over the drink counter, emptying a large French press
into an even larger mug that was probably meant for beer. I came up next to
him, grabbing the last coffee press that still had coffee in it.
"Good morning, Shadow," I greeted as I poured.
He responded with a flinch and a grunt, then slamming his empty coffee
press down as he walked away quickly.
I watched him move swiftly through the dining room for a man his size.
He sat next to Jandro, who was talking to another one of Gunner's men.
His behavior didn't offend me. I knew he wouldn't respond with typical
behavior and was curious to see what that would be. At some point, I wanted
to learn what it took to hear him say one word to me. I didn't even know what
his voice sounded like.
 Horus had apparently annoyed the two guys at the breakfast bar enough
to make them move, so I set myself up a few feet away from the falcon.
"Hi, Horus. Can I sit with you?"
He looked at me, tilting his head a bit, then looked at my food before
taking a few cautious steps forward on those menacing talons.
"Guess that's a yes." I slid into the stool, careful not to make any sudden
movements.
Hades was one thing, but I wasn't foolish enough to think I could treat
this bird like a dog. Horus seemed to tolerate my presence at least, eyeing me
intently as I brought a forkful of eggs to my mouth.
Within a minute he seemed to grow bored of me, fluffing up his feathers
to preen himself.
Every so often I glanced from the bird to Gunner and Reaper, who
seemed to be having an intense conversation next to a column. Abruptly,
Reaper turned away with his hands in the air as if exasperated. He marched to
the drink table, apparently in search of coffee. Gunner came straight toward
me, an uneasy smile on his face.
"You're really leaving?" was the first thing I asked.
"Yeah, baby girl," he sighed, reaching out to stroke Horus's chest
feathers. "I don't want to, but important business has come up."
"Why's Reaper so upset?" My eyes slid over to the president cursing and
gesticulating over the lack of coffee.
"I didn't exactly ask him for permission to leave,” Gunner smirked. "He
doesn't like that I undermined his authority, but he knows how important this
business is."
"Top secret club business?" I lifted an eyebrow.
"Kinda, but more than that," he said softly. "It's for everything we've
worked for. It's making sure everyone back at Sheol is safe and secure."
"Sounds serious." I took in how armed he was. A gun at each hip, knives
on his belt, bandoliers of ammo across his torso. And that was just what I
could see. "And dangerous."
"Both of those statements are true."
Without thinking, I leaned forward and grabbed the edge of his cut,
drawing him a few steps closer to me.
"Be careful," I whispered, suddenly feeling too bashful to look him in the
eye. So I gazed at his lips. "I won't be out there to fix you up."
"Trust me, baby girl," he lifted my gaze with a finger under my chin,
"whoever gets in my way is the one that needs to be careful."
My thumb brushed over the 2A patch on his cut. The now-dissolved right
to bear arms was a philosophy he embodied deeply. I'd never seen him in
action with a weapon so he was probably right. Every time I looked at the
beautiful golden-haired, blue-eyed man, it was hard to reconcile such an
angelic face with bloodlust and violence. For all I knew, he probably used it
to his advantage.
"Just make sure you get back," I laughed awkwardly. "You have to keep
me from drowning."
"I will." His hand remained on my face. "Horus will stay here. Think of
him as me in bird form."
"He's not going with you?"
"Not this time. We need him to keep an eye on things here."
"What do you mean?"
His eyes flicked up to Reaper, who appeared to have found some coffee
after all and was coming toward us with his own plate of food.
"I should get going. Take care, Mari. I—“ His eyes flickered down, the
bashful one for once. "I'll be thinking of you."
He dropped a kiss to my forehead and was gone, booted feet stomping
across the floor to the garage in the next moment.
"So." Reaper dropped his plate with a loud clatter next to mine, clearly
still in a bad mood. "We're stuck with you now, are we?"
He was talking to Horus, who replied with a high-pitched screech and a
beat of his wings.
"Great. Thanks for the fucking feather in my eggs, bird.”
I hid my chuckle behind a sip of coffee. "What did Gunner mean, that
Horus is going to keep an eye on things?"
He stabbed the feathered chunk of scrambled eggs and dropped it onto a
napkin before answering. "Horus is a bird of prey. They have binocular
vision and can see fine details from hundreds of yards away."
"Okay...?"
"And what he sees, Gunner sees."
"Come again?"
Reaper grinned deviously. "I thought you needed time off from me,
sugar."
"Stop." I smacked his hand that began creeping up my thigh. "What do
you mean, Gunner sees what Horus sees?"
"It's like a live video feed through those webcams. You remember those?"
He swiped a tortilla from the warmer nearby and proceeded to fill it with
scrambled egg and potatoes.
"You're fucking with me, right?" I stared blankly as he made a breakfast
taco.
"No, I'm not." He dumped hot sauce into his taco and took a big bite.
"Reaper, this is like what I was saying earlier," I lowered my voice to a
whisper, although I wasn't sure why. "That's not possible. It's completely and
absolutely im-possible."
"Clearly not, miss fancy degree."
"Do you and Hades have that same kind of...thing?"
He chewed methodically before swallowing his food. "No. We have a
bond, but I can't see through him like Gunner does with Horus."
"Reaper." My mind spun at a rate I couldn't keep up with. I felt like my
head was going to implode on itself. "You realize this is not normal, right?
Like, this is the most absurd shit I've ever heard of."
 He laughed calmly as he made another breakfast taco. "Ain't nothing
normal about the world we live in, sugar."
EIGHT
 JANDRO

I watched Mari and Reaper walk in late to the dining room with curiosity.
She had that beautiful post-sex glow, and he swaggered in like a peacock.
And with good reason. He was the only Demon getting laid out here.
I never was a jealous guy. I knew my place well enough that I'd never
undermine my president's and best friend's claim on a woman. If he was
down to share her, I'd jump at the first chance. But it had to be his call.
Because of how Reaper was raised, bringing another man in was serious
and meaningful. Which was the opposite of how most people saw group
situations—as meaningless fun. The officials who raided the matriarchal
communes claimed they were cleaning out dens of sin and unholiness. I
preferred to think they were just jealous, frustrated virgins.
In any case, Reaper and I never shared a woman before because he never
found anyone he cared enough about. He and I were close, but I didn't grow
up in the communes. So I could see it both ways. I certainly had my fair share
of casual group fun, but wouldn't mind doing it with a serious partner in the
right setting.
Reaper was crazy about Mari, and it was plainly obvious to anyone who
looked. He never stopped touching her, whether his arm was around her
shoulders or on the small of her back. He'd broach the topic of sharing soon,
if he hadn't already. And then it was still up to her to accept it. Not all of the
matriarchal women accepted multiple partners.
But if she did, I wanted a shot at being her second man.
Just the thought of calling her mine sent a flutter of warmth through me.
Maybe it was presumptive—we hadn't gotten to know each other that well
yet. But I was drawn to her warm, caring nature like a moth to a flame. So
many free women became tough and cutthroat after the Collapse. They had to
be, to not be ruled under the thumb of men. But even with her sassy mouth
and dirty scrubs, Mariposa had a soft, feminine nature in her that called to the
traditional family man in me.
As Gunner walked down the corridor and came brazenly straight toward
her, that was when the first spark of jealousy lit up within me.
We may have had a friendly, unspoken competition going, in regards to
having her on our bikes, but he had no right to walk right up like she was his
girl.
I knew it, and apparently Reaper knew it by the way he glared at the blue-
eyed demon. To be fair, Gunner had no idea how relationships worked in the
matriarchies. He grew up wealthy, the descendant of Hollywood actors who
moved east as California began to sink into the ocean they poisoned. One
rumor claimed his family had ties to the politicians who set the Collapse in
motion, though he always vehemently denied it.
But what pissed me off the most was how Mari looked at him, smiling
like the sun shined out of his ass. I had no one to blame but myself for
staying out of the way, but what utter bullshit was that?
When Gunner and Reaper walked off to exchange heated words, I wanted
to trade my scrambled eggs for a bowl of popcorn. What the hell was that
about? Reaper said he trusted the guy.
Shadow sat down heavily next to me as I was pondering all this. He dug
ruthlessly into his eggs as if the chicken had personally insulted him.
"She said good morning to me," he grumbled.
"Yeah, and?" I couldn't prevent my shoulders shaking from laughter. "Did
you say anything back?"
"No! You know I don't talk to women."
"Bro," I rubbed my forehead with a sigh. "Just talking to them isn't gonna
hurt you. You could afford to learn some social skills."
"I don't like being social."
"Neither do lots of people," I said. "But sometimes you run into situations
where you have to do it anyway."
He wordlessly grunted as he dug into his breakfast. We had this
conversation many times before.
"Tell me something," I said, watching Mari grab a seat at the breakfast
bar next to Horus. "You've truly never said a word to the service girls I’ve
sent you?"
"No," he answered after a swig of coffee. "They come to me, do what
they're paid for, and they leave."
"Seriously, no cuddling afterward?" I asked. "No pillow talk?"
"I don't even know what those things are." He blinked at me, only his
dark eye visible with the white one covered by his hair. "Why would a
woman spend time with me beyond what she's paid for?"
"I mean, that's part of it sometimes, you know? Intimacy, closeness. At
least the illusion of it. Everyone needs a little human connection."
He shook his head as if I were spouting nonsense. "I don't need anything
from a woman. I keep telling you bartering with service girls for me is a
waste of resources."
"You're telling me you can go without sex?" I demanded in disbelief. "For
the rest of your life?"
"I can think back to my favorites and use my hand."
Anyone else would have been joking, but Shadow never joked.
"Unbelievable," I groaned. "Sometimes I wonder why I even try with
you."
"You have stuck by me for years," he acquiesced. "And helped me in
many ways. But I'm sure you knew when you first saw me that I would never
be a 'normal' person."
"No one is normal, bro. I don't care what anyone says. Hey, tell me
something," I turned to him. "How do you decide on a favorite?"
"You mean of women who've serviced me?"
"Yeah. You like blondes, brunettes? Thick and curvy or slim and petite?
Maybe we can just find you more of whatever you like."
His gaze lifted across the dining hall, settling on the only woman in the
room. Mariposa had her back to us, long brown hair cascading over her
shoulders as she sat with Reaper at the breakfast bar.
"My favorites are the ones who are good at pretending they're not afraid
of me," Shadow answered softly.
NINE
 MARIPOSA

N o matter how much he tried to brush it off, I couldn't stop asking

Reaper questions about what he called his bond with Hades.
The nurse in me wanted to examine it like an ailment. Or I guess it was
more like an ability. Maybe even a super-power.
"Can you describe the bond with Hades?" I asked as we walked through
the outpost after breakfast. "Have you felt it with any other animal?"
"Never." He lit a slim black cigarette and turned his head so the smoke
wouldn't blow my way. "I've always been shitty with animals. I accidentally
killed Noelle's pet fish when we were kids."
"Wow. She must have hated you." An unexpected pang hit me in the
chest. I missed my friend, Reaper's sister, back at Sheol. I wasn't about to
make friends with the kitchen girls and I felt a twinge of loneliness without
another woman to talk to. If nothing else, she might be able to decipher her
brother's behavior for me. I still felt so clueless about MC life and what roles
women played.
"Oh yeah. She gave me a black eye and didn't talk to me for a week," he
chuckled. "But Hades was different the moment I found him. Even before I
found him, I had this...feeling. It sounds girly as shit, but I don't know how
else to describe it."
"What kind of feeling?"
 He gave me a sideways glance. "You're really not gonna let this go, are
you?"
"I'm still astonished you haven't tried to pick this apart to understand it. I
don't know how you just accept it as it is."
"Because it's always felt right," he answered after exhaling smoke.
"Something nagged at me for a whole fucking day to check this pile of
rubble. And when I did, and I found this tiny puppy who fit in the palm of my
hand, I just knew I found what I'd been looking for."
He looked ahead to where Hades, now fully grown, trotted a few paces in
front of us. He occasionally sniffed the ground, pissed on a bush, and looked
back at us as if to make sure we were still following.
"I felt like I was meant to find Hades," Reaper continued softly. "Like we
were always supposed to be together. I was meant to raise him and he was
meant to look after me." He tossed his cigarette butt and added in an even
softer voice, "And those closest to me."
"And you've done that for each other," I observed. "Since day one."
"If I had ignored that feeling back then," Reaper shook his head. "He
wouldn't have lived. I'm sure of it. I saved his life and he's saved mine
countless times in return. And it's only been a year."
"You two are closer than most humans are to each other. You're almost
like brothers."
"Yeah." My pulse hammered as Reaper's hand bumped into mine and he
grabbed it, lacing his fingers with mine. "I haven't really talked about this
with anyone but Gunner, whose experience with Horus is similar but
different. And Jandro and Noelle, who know everything about me. Most of
the club thinks I'm just an expert dog trainer or some shit."
"See?" I dared to give his fingers a playful squeeze. "You do know this is
unusual, otherwise you'd have no qualms talking about your...gift."
"Ain't 'cause of that, sugar," he chuckled. "I just know what it sounds like
—feminine mumbo jumbo. Being sensitive to energies and shit. They
wouldn't understand."
"I don't understand," I admitted, watching Hades stiffen and growl at a
lizard. "But I'm trying to."
"I knew you would," he murmured.
"What made you pick the name Hades?" The dog in question grew bored
with the lizard and moved on to sniffing in a lazy zig-zag. "Were you
interested in Greek mythology?"
"I didn't pick it," Reaper said. "That was his name."
"Oh, you mean he had a collar on when you found him?"
"No, that was just his name. It came to me in my head but I didn't choose
it, if that makes sense."
I stopped in my tracks, pulling him back by his hand when he tried to
keep walking.
"That makes zero sense. You're actually fucking with me now, aren’t
you?”
"I swear I never heard the word Hades in my life before then," he insisted.
"It was like," he paused to watch his dog chase after a bird, "like he told me
his name."
"The more you tell me about this, the more fucking confused I get," I
groaned, rubbing my temple.
"See? Better to not think about it so much," he teased, pulling me by the
hand to keep walking.
The momentum sent me crashing into his side, which he used as an
opportunity to drape his arm over my shoulders and kiss my temple. I slid an
arm around his waist to coolly match his affection, but that didn't quell my
insides shooting off like fireworks.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I thought I could do casual sex but I really had to get my
feelings in check. Chances were higher that he'd discard me than keep me,
and I had to prepare myself for that. Which meant not reading into the hand-
holding. Or the kissing. Or his flirting and playful banter. Nor his insistence
on making me come no less than a dozen times in a night. That was probably
just his kink.
"I don't know who or what exactly Hades is," he mused, oblivious to the
turmoil of my inner thoughts. "But I'm glad he's on our side."
"Where did Gunner ride off to?" I asked, ready for a subject change.
"To take care of club business," he answered dismissively. "He goes off
solo to secure deals sometimes."
"He made it sound like it was something big and out of the ordinary." I
gave Reaper a jab in the ribs. "And that you were pissed because he didn't ask
you first."
"Woman, you are too fucking observant and curious for your own good."
He lowered his forehead to mine and dropped a kiss on my nose with a smile.
"It's a good thing I trust you."
"So," I looked up, the sun and bleached desert landscape making his eyes
shine like two emeralds, "what's going on?"
"We're dealing with something here," he sighed, "that requires all hands
on deck. With him gone, it leaves me short-handed. And without going into
specifics, him leaving with no warning looks bad to the club. But he is taking
care of something of utmost importance so I had to let him go, as much as I
don't like it."
We walked a few more paces. Hades rolled onto his back, twisting and
squirming with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth like a goofball.
"Anything I can do?" I asked after a few quiet moments.
"Aren't you sweet, sugar." He squeezed the nape of my neck. "Tensions
are high, so the guys might take a few swings at each other. If they get
seriously hurt, don't let them kill each other."
"That I can do," I smiled. "Anything else?"
His hand slid down to cup the small of my back.
"Scream my name when I'm inside you." His whisper was hot against my
ear. "Come all over my cock like you'll never let it go. Sleep with your head
on my chest and let me massage your worries away. Rub my balls—"
"Okay!" I laughed, shoving him away. "Jesus, I never know when you're
going to be dirty or romantic."
"Gotta keep you on your toes." He pulled me into his side again with
another devilish grin. "He likes you, you know."
"Who?"
"You know," he chided gently. "Gunner."
And I like him. Like hell I would say that out loud to Reaper of all people.
Of all these men, Gunner was the one I considered most like a friend. He
was all smiles and lightheartedness, a pleasant distraction from his broody
cohorts. His presence was like the sun's warmth, and not just because he was
golden and gorgeous. If anyone else tried teaching me to not drown, I
probably would not have been as calm. I was really sad to find out he'd be
gone for several weeks. Not that I didn't enjoy being around Reaper or
Jandro, but friend was not the first word that came to mind when I thought of
them.
"He's a flirt," I said in response to Reaper's statement. "I'm sure he acts
the way he does around all women, but I do consider him a friend."
"A friend," he repeated. "Nothing more?"
I looked up at him to find his gaze on Hades' antics once again. "Are you
trying to insinuate something?"
"Not at all, just trying to gauge how you feel about him."
"He's a friend," I repeated. That I'm really fucking attracted to. "I trust
him," I added.
"Jandro likes you, too," he chuckled with a squeeze of my waist.
"He's an even bigger flirt," I rolled my eyes. "But I don't know him as
well. Gunner and I have actually talked a bit more."
"Ah. Well now with Gunner gone, you might have time to make friends
with Jandro, too."
I stared at his side profile—the scruffy jawline, sharp cheekbones, and the
straight bridge of his nose. But he kept looking at the path straight ahead of
us.
"Why do I feel like you're implying something without coming out and
saying it?" I asked. "Like you're trying to pass me off to your friends or
something."
"I'm not." He stopped us, turning to face me with his arms locked around
my waist. "It's not like that, sugar. I just—“ He looked down, fingers gliding
across my ribcage. If I had to guess, he looked nervous.
"I just want you to get to know my friends," he said. "As a way of getting
to know me. They're like family to me."
"So," I tilted my head, still not buying it. "You want me to get closer to
your family? By teasing me about your two most flirtatious men?"
"It came out wrong," he sighed, releasing his hold on me as he continued
walking. "Forget I said anything."
"Reaper." I jogged after him to catch up. "I'm trying to understand you.
All this is just a lot to take in—“
"I know, that's my bad." He shot me a sheepish smile. "One thing at a
time. My crazy bond with my dog is enough for one day, don't you think?"
"Okay," I said, running a hand through my hair. "So what are you up to
today?"
"Church for a second try," he grumbled, fishing for another cigarette.
"Let's see if we can have a successful meeting without Gunner's hotheaded
ass."
I had a hard time picturing my calm, reassuring swim coach as hotheaded.
Something really had to be sowing discord within the club to get under his
skin.
"Okay," I repeated, honestly grateful for some space from Reaper today. I
needed alone time to digest everything he told me about the animal bonds,
and his men. And to wrestle with my feelings for this man, growing like
stubborn weeds through cracks in a sidewalk.
 He slid both hands to my ass, drawing me flush against him and holding
me there with his green gaze.
"See you tonight." It wasn't a request. "You know where to be."
He claimed my mouth in a bruising kiss while I held onto my sanity like a
life raft, trying not to get swept away in the undertow.
But this demon was riding his way directly into my heart, and I was
powerless to stop him.
TEN
 REAPER

"H ow's Marrriposa?"

Jandro and Shadow were the first two in the conference room. Already
there when I arrived, the former had his boots up on the table. The latter sat
strategically near the head of the table where he could see the whole room.
Typical Shadow.
"She's great. Ruined," I smirked. "How are the bikes?"
"We'll be fine to head back, but they're gonna need some tuning once I
get 'em back in the shop,” Jandro shook his head. "The elevation and terrain
aren't good up here, Reap. This is what I was saying before."
"We're no longer doing business with Tash now, so it's a moot point," I
said, looking up at the rafters. "I wouldn't mind keeping this place for us,
though. It's nice, well-supplied, and Fischlin's just abandoned it."
"He could come back with reinforcements," Shadow pointed out.
"General Tash must know we haven't been captured or killed by now. He'll
send well-armed reinforcements."
“Armed thanks to us," Jandro muttered.
"I did think of that, Shadow," I nodded. "This is a good outpost, although
we're isolated here and not familiar with the terrain. When everyone gets
here, I'm going to propose we ride back home tomorrow."
"Yes!" Jandro shot his fists in the air. "Can we take some chickens?"
 "You gonna raise 'em in your backyard?" I scoffed.
"I dunno, maybe."
"I'm not dealing with any crowing at the ass-crack of dawn," I growled,
taking my seat at the head of the table.
"Come on, Reap. You never know, maybe it's my calling to be a chicken
rancher."
"I don't think that's what it's called," Shadow frowned.
"Gunner has a falcon. Maybe I was destined to have a chicken!"
"Enough already," I rubbed my forehead as everyone else started filing in.
My men took their seats, I hit the gavel and got right down to business.
"If you fuckers can act like adults this time," I glowered, "we'll begin the
meeting."
"Hey, you all saw it was Gunner that came after me," Big G announced.
"Not saying that's an admission of guilt, but—“
"Don't. Fucking. Start." Jandro pointed a finger at him in warning. "You
provoked him. Any one of us would have acted the same way. I suggest you
keep your mouth shut during this session, G."
The big fucker glared at his vice president but smartly held his tongue.
"General Tash, now a sworn enemy of ours," I began, "has likely heard
by now that we've escaped capture and taken the outpost for ourselves. We
have a well-stocked armory, but there are only seven of us. Plus two animals
and one medic. It's fair to assume he'll return with a much bigger army to
wipe us out for good. So I propose we ride back to Sheol in the morning, and
figure out how to stick the two-timing shit bag from the safety of our own
walls."
"Agreed," Jandro piped up right away. "All in favor?"
Every man at the table raised a hand.
"Good. It's settled." I struck the gavel on the table. "Start packing after
dinner tonight and we'll ride at dawn. Next order of business." I set the gavel
down and placed my palms on the table. "We have no need to kill Fischlin's
snitch. So where do we drop him off?"
"Just leave him here," Big G scoffed. "Let Tash deal with him."
"Killing him will be the first thing they do," Brick pointed out.
"So? It ain't our problem."
"He's the reason we know Tash turned on us!"
Big G just shrugged and leaned back in his seat. A loyal guy and a good
shot, he just didn't think very far ahead.
"President, if I may speak," Dallas piped up.
"Go ahead," I nodded.
He paused, tenting his fingers for a moment before speaking.
"I've probably spent more time with our prisoner than anyone else," he
began. "He didn't turn on Fischlin because he's a little bitch. He wants to be a
Steel Demon."
"Get the fuck outta here," Jandro cackled so hard, he nearly fell out of his
chair.
"He has since we started building a reputation," Dallas went on. "Tash
swept through his county like a wildfire just weeks after the Collapse. They
massacred tons of innocents. His pregnant girlfriend died. He's wanted to take
Tash down ever since."
"That's a nice sob story," I said. "Too bad everybody's got one. Losing
everything to the Collapse sure as shit doesn't make you a Demon."
"He can ride," Dallas went on. "He used to build custom Harleys. Used to
bow hunt for sport, so he's a good shot and can score us meat for the winter
probably."
"I could use an extra hand in the shop," Jandro mused. "Especially after
this trek home."
"You're getting on board with this?" I looked at my VP in disbelief. "You
already have the fucking prospect!"
"I have to teach the prospect. I could use someone who actually knows
what they're doing."
 "Well, since you've gotten to be such good bosom buddies, tell me this," I
crossed my arms, "is he loyal? Is he a man of his word? Will he ride with us
to the center of Hell if I tell him to? Because someone who has sworn their
loyalty, who I consider a brother, tried to get us all fucking killed!"
My fist slammed into the tabletop, creating a split in the flimsy wood. No
one hardly dared to breathe as I shook my hand out.
"Who wants to keep the snitch in the club?" I growled through my teeth.
Jandro, Dallas, Brick, and Shadow raised their hands.
"You?" I looked at the large, silent man in surprise. "You trust the
prisoner?"
"I'm not the best judge of people, but he seems genuine to me,” Shadow
answered. “If Jandro trusts him, then I do as well."
"All right, then." I looked at non-approving members. "We take him on as
another prospect. He's not privy to church, patches, or any other privileges
until Jandro and I both deem him worthy. Fair?"
A murmur of agreement rose from around the table. Satisfied, I struck the
gavel.
"Any other club business to attend to?"
"Can we just come out and say it instead of dancing around the subject?"
Big G asked.
I narrowed my eyes. "What are you referring to?"
"Did you not hear me about keeping your mouth shut?" Jandro leaned
over the table like he wanted to cross over and strangle him.
"Gunner is the one who sold us out to Tash. Isn't it obvious to anyone
else?" Big G looked around the table, apparently for rallying cries of support
but was met with silence.
"Gunner is our brother. Your captain, until he rightfully kicked you out,“
Jandro seethed. "Why do you have such a hard-on for throwing him to the
wolves?"
"Why can't you see what's right in front of you?" Big G shot back. "He's
the only one in regular contact with Tash. He's got all these mysterious black
market connections outside the club, and now he's just taken off to fuck
knows where!"
"He's headed to the Colorado territory to work out new deals," I said.
"Because Sheol depends on him and he's the only one who can make that
happen."
"Sure, that's what he told you, Reaper."
"Do not take me for a fool," I warned him, my hands closing into fists.
"I'm still your president, whether you agree with my decisions or not."
"You didn't answer my question," Jandro jumped to his feet, rounding the
table toward the loudmouth. "Why are you so quick to be pointing fingers?
You got something to hide?"
"Like what?" G brought his palms down on the table as he stood up. "I'm
fucking loyal! I ain't hiding shit!"
"Everyone out," I barked, slamming the gavel down as I stood up.
"Except you, G."
Jandro didn't move an inch, his shoulders squared and tense as a brick
wall.
"You want to question your president's leadership and sow distrust, you're
in the wrong fucking club." Even as he defended me, Jandro seemed to forget
I was there, even when I brought a hand down on his shoulder.
"Easy, VP." I moved to stand at his side, arms crossed against my chest as
we stared down Big G together. "You're not leaving this room until you tell
us what your fucking agenda is."
"The fuck?" His mouth dropped open. "My only agenda is outing the son-
of-a-bitch who sold us out!"
"It's not Gunner," Jandro hissed through his teeth. "We would know. So
get that notion out of your head before we beat it out of you."
"Yeah?" G stepped closer into Jandro's face. "So your word is the law
now, J? Even without any proof?"
 "You don't have a shred of proof either, you dumb fuck!"
Big G pulled back his arm to swing. I stepped between him and Jandro
but despite being right there, I still wasn't as fast as Shadow.
The silent assassin got behind Big G somehow, grabbing hold of his wrist
to prevent him from slugging the vice president.
"Let go of me, freak!" G tried to wrench his arm away but Shadow was
five steps ahead, holding strong while pulling him away from Jandro.
"I don't want to hurt you, Big G," Shadow said with an eerie calm. "But
you're not thinking of the consequences if you lay a hand on Jandro."
Even without Shadow and Jandro being extra protective of each other,
physical altercations were forbidden except during Fight Night. I had a
feeling Jandro, Big G, and possibly Gunner would have some serious beef to
settle at an upcoming fight.
"You're fucking lucky Shadow stopped you," I growled at Big G.
"Attacking your vice president gets that patch ripped right off your cut in
front of the whole club. Is that what you're trying to do here? Get yourself
kicked out?"
"No." Big G deflated and Shadow cautiously released his arm, as he
looked like he was finally coming to his senses. "Sorry, guys. I'm just trying
to do the right thing. I hate that there's a snake among us, you know? It just
feels so obvious that it's Gunner—“
"Even if it is," I interrupted. "This is not the right way to go about it. Talk
to us like a man, don't throw tantrums like a child when you don't get your
way."
"You're right, Reap. Of course." He forced out a dry laugh. "I got two
kids with a third on the way. I should know better. Maybe the stress of a new
kid is getting to me, I don't know."
"Well, get it together," Jandro snapped. "We don't need the club falling
apart because of accusations and rumors. We will find who turned on us, and
deal with him accordingly."
 "In the meantime," I scratched the stubble on my jaw. "I think a slow
cook will be a fitting punishment for you."
Big G opened his mouth to complain, then smartly closed it. "How long?"
he asked in a small voice.
"The whole way home. You wanted to be a rabble rouser and bathe in the
club's attention, now you'll get to."
Jandro stifled a chuckle as Big G hung his head.
"Thank you, President," came his humiliated reply.
"Think before you speak next time, chief." I slapped his shoulder and
looked at my other two men. "We done here?"
We closed up the room and Big G hurried off toward the kitchen, likely to
drink himself stupid in light of his punishment tomorrow.
"Go ahead and start getting packed," Jandro said to Shadow. "I'll meet
you in the dining hall later."
With a curt nod, Shadow turned sharply down a corridor and disappeared
without making a sound.
"So," Jandro said the moment we were alone. "You think it's G?"
I pulled out my cigarettes and handed one to him. "Nah." My inhale was
sharp as I pulled my first drag. "He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's
loyal."
"Same." Jandro blew out a long exhale. "He's been wanting captain of the
guard for a while now. Probably saw it as an opportunity for Gun's post and a
chance for a little time in the spotlight."
"Please," I scoffed. "He is nowhere near qualified to take captain. I'd give
it to Shadow before him."
"Dude wants to feel important," Jandro shrugged. "We're on the road so
much, Tessa pretty much raises their kids and runs the home alone. She
doesn't need him."
"You think she's caught on to him messing around?" I asked. "Maybe he's
trying to overcompensate his usefulness."
 "I dunno, man," Jandro raised both hands, "I'm not in their business
much. I try to stay out of it. All I know is he's been trying to move up the
ranks."
"Then he needs to fucking act like it." I tossed my cigarette butt over the
balcony and headed for my suite.
ELEVEN
 MARIPOSA

"M ari?"
"In here."
I was soaking in Reaper's bathtub when his loud, booted footsteps echoed
through the suite. Hades ran to me, stubby tail wagging like he hadn't seen
me in years.
"Hi, boy. Oh—okay!" I squeezed my eyes shut against the onslaught of
licks to my face.
Reaper came into the bathroom a few seconds later, watching us with a
lazy smirk.
"I was hoping to get some use out of that thing before we leave." He
peeled off his shirt, discarding it on the floor before kicking off his boots.
“This tub’s much nicer than the one in my room," I smiled back. "We
leaving soon?"
"Tomorrow morning." He unzipped his pants and shoved them down his
thighs, peeling them away until he was just standing there in his birthday suit.
My throat constricted just slightly, although I had no idea why. I'd seen
him naked before, much closer than this, and touched just about every part of
him that I could see.
"Quit drooling and move over, sugar." He came to the tub's edge and ran
his fingers over the surface, splashing me with a grin.
 "I was not drooling," I muttered, yanking my eyes away as I scooted to
make room for him.
"Sure you weren't." He lowered himself into the steaming water with a
sigh. "Now come here."
I moved back to the spot in front of him, where his arms opened. The
water had a thin layer of pinkish foam from the bath bomb I used. So while
the water was partially opaque, I still felt apprehensive and exposed. I’d had
sex with this man half a dozen times at this point. Why did a bath feel so
much more intimate?
The feeling intensified as he turned me around gently and pulled me
toward him until my back touched his chest. I sat between his legs, which
nearly extended the entire length of the luxurious porcelain tub. He let out a
contented sigh when I relaxed against him, pressing a kiss to my ear as his
fingers massaged into my arms and shoulders.
Jesus. It was like he couldn't relax until he was making me feel good.
That was a dangerous train of thought, and one I'd been trying to talk
myself out of all day. I must have walked through every corridor of this
outpost today while my mind went in circles about him. I could not afford to
develop feelings for the Steel Demons president, and I was a damned fool to
even entertain the thought he had feelings for me.
But from the way my insides fluttered as his touch drifted over my skin, I
had a sinking feeling it was too late for me.
"How was church?" I asked, focusing on a random bubble on the water's
surface.
"Marginally more productive than yesterday," he grunted. "We're taking
Fischlin's guard home with us."
"Really?" I looked at him over my shoulder, genuinely surprised. "What
made you change your mind?"
"Jandro and Dallas made pretty convincing arguments."
"Uh huh. And who put the idea in your head first?"
 "Don't get cocky, woman," he laughed. "You're starting to sound like one
of us."
"It was just a matter of time, I guess."
"Mm." He pressed a kiss to my cheek before slowly moving his lips down
my neck. All the while, his thumbs pressed slow circles into my upper back.
"Why do you do this?" I groaned, letting my head fall back.
"Do what?" he chuckled, knowing full well what he was doing.
"Massage me. Get me off until my clit is completely numb before getting
yours. It just seems like a lot of...effort."
"I like making you feel good." Another smoldering kiss dropped between
my neck and shoulder. "I think you're worth the effort."
"Don't tell me things like that," I snapped, a knee-jerk reaction.
"Then don't ask questions like those." He nipped at my neck and it was
frustrating how good that felt, too.
"Fine. Forget I said anything."
"Mm, can't put that genie back in the bottle now, sugar." He rested his
chin on my shoulder as his arms circled around my waist. "Just imagine if
there were two or three of me," he added in a sultry whisper.
"What?"
"Four hands massaging you." He began kneading my thighs under the
water's surface. "Two mouths kissing all your little hot spots so we don't miss
a single one. Roughness and sweetness at the same time. Would you like
that?"
"Reaper," I lifted myself away and turned around to face him. "What are
you talking about?"
"Pleasing you even more," his voice was thick with desire, "by bringing
in another man."
"I don't want another man." The words came out before I could think, and
I bit my tongue too late. It wasn't a true confession of anything, but still felt
like it all the same.
 Reaper cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know if that's entirely true." His
fingers skimmed through the water, reaching for my hands. "It's okay, Mari.
If you're into one or two of my men, I can work with that."
"What the hell?" I pulled further away, confusion twisting in my gut. "Do
you do this with every woman?"
"No." Then softer, "I've never done this before." He sighed deeply and
ran his fingers through his hair, making water droplets rain down on his face
and shoulders. "And I'm doing a bang-up fucking job, it seems."
"You want to pass me around to your men like a pitcher of beer for what,
exactly? So you can have free rein to fuck other women?"
"Fucking Christ, Mari. When have I ever said shit about other women?
That's not what this is about."
"If you were done with me, you could have just said so." I dug myself
into a hole and apparently insisted on digging even deeper. I was being
ridiculous, pulling assumptions out of thin air most likely. But it dawned on
me I could finally do what escaped me the last few days.
Protect my heart.
"You've got it all wrong, sugar. But fine, have it your way." He leaned
back, propping one elbow on the edge of the tub as he looked out the
window. "Leave."
I blinked, taken aback by the sudden change in attitude. "What?“
"You want us to be done? Fine. We're done. Get the hell out of my tub."
"I didn't say—“
"Get. Out." He looked at me with pure venom. "Before I do something I
regret."
I stood up and stumbled so quickly out of the tub, it was a miracle I didn't
slip and fall. Gathering up my clothes, I stole a glance at Hades with his head
on his paws and ears back. He looked at me with such sadness with those big
soulful eyes. I wanted to give him one last hug for comfort, but didn't dare.
I walked out of the bathroom, feeling crushed under Reaper's hurtful
stare, with my clothes bundled against my chest. With shaking hands I got
dressed in the bedroom as fast as I could. A high-pitched whine came from
the bathroom.
"Hades, stay," Reaper commanded.
So this was the end. He wouldn't even allow me a goodbye with the dog.
For some reason, that cut deeper than him telling me to leave.
I hurried out as quickly as my feet could carry me, not caring that my
clothes were now wet and I dripped water everywhere. This room was going
to suffocate me if I didn't get out.
“Mariposa.”
I froze in my tracks. “What?”
"Leave the door open for the next girl," Reaper called out cruelly.
I placed my hand on the doorknob, gripping it so hard that my palm
ached. A white-hot flash of anger brought a moment of clarity to the
confusion swirling around in my head. Fuck him if he thinks he can still tell
me what to do.
I opened the door and slammed it shut with all my might behind me.
The tears started before I made it to my own room. I hurriedly unlocked
the door through blurry eyes and entered a room that felt like someone else’s.
I did what I had to. He would’ve broken my heart so much worse if I
hadn’t. It was shitty, but I had to put self-preservation first. That was what
post-Collapse life demanded. I provoked a response out of him to protect
myself.
So why did my heart still feel broken into a million pieces?
TWELVE
 GUNNER

A s much as I loved riding with my club, a solo ride had a certain kind
of magic to it. There was nothing like exploring the world on the open
road set out before me. I was the captain of my own ship, the president of
Club Me, Myself, and I. The only thing that could beat this was if a beautiful
woman hung onto me from behind.
And not just any woman.
Mariposa's face when I said I was leaving still tugged at my heart strings
from two hundred miles away. If she tugged any harder, I might turn around
and head right back to her.
Reaper better be good to you, baby girl, I thought, tightening my hold on
my grips.
I had the utmost respect for my president and would defend his life in an
instant. We were good friends, brothers, even. However, we had vastly
different views on women.
While my parents worked, my grandparents watched me and taught me
old-school values as I grew up. For instance, even if a woman had a good
career, the man always paid for dates and treated her with small surprise gifts
like jewelry or flowers. He opened doors and pulled out chairs for her. He
gave her his jacket off his back if she got cold. Women were smaller, more
fragile, and meant to be taken care of. A man's job was to provide her with
security and protection.
It took me a while to wrap my head around Reaper's whole matriarchy
upbringing, and I still didn't fully understand. To be honest, it sounded like a
cult to me. In my world, some women you had fun with, others you married,
but his culture threw that all out the window. Women with multiple
husbands? How could anyone be okay with that?
My grandparents were together for over fifty years and were each other's
worlds. How could a relationship feel special if it was crowded with a bunch
of people? Why would a woman miss you if she had other guys to fill up her
time?
So much I didn't understand. But if that was what Mari wanted, too, I'd
wish her the best and keep my distance.
When I stopped for a piss break, I let my eyes close and my awareness
sink into what I called my second-consciousness. It wasn't my subconscious
but a place deep and instinctual, underneath the layers of my human
awareness and tucked away in the depths of my lizard brain.
At least I thought so. I wasn't sure exactly how it worked. All I knew was
that it was my connection to Horus, and it gave me the ability to see and feel
everything he did like I was in his body.
"Gross, man," I muttered.
I checked in at a bad time, as Horus was currently ripping apart a rabbit
carcass with his beak. But through the mess of blood, guts, and fur just under
his talons, the Sandia Mountain outpost laid out before him.
It was quiet and without much movement, which didn't surprise me. The
place was huge and sprawling with over a hundred guest rooms, each with
mountain views, and we only took up nine of those rooms.
Well, eight if Mari was sharing a room with Reaper now.
As if he could hear my thought, Horus let out a disappointed squawk.
"Where is she?" I asked.
My raptor tore off another hunk of rabbit and swallowed it whole before
turning his gaze to the southeast. He let out a soft chirp as if to say, there.
A small pen of animals was tucked between the kitchen and a steep hill.
There was no clear outside path to it, only a single door on the building
which I assumed to be the back door of the kitchen.
So that's where the chicken and eggs came from, I realized.
About twenty chickens milled about the pen—pecking, clucking, doing
their chicken thing. Mari was scratching a goat behind the ears and smiling.
I finished pissing a whole few minutes ago, but didn't want to stop
watching her. Still, I pulled my awareness away from Horus and back into
my own body. With a sigh, I tucked myself back into my pants and zipped
up. I had more of an already long ride ahead of me.
The terrain and atmosphere gradually changed the further north I rode.
Dry, dusty desert grew rockier with cool, dark earth and more greenery
alongside the road. The thick, hot air grew thinner and cooler as I climbed in
elevation. Cactus and desert shrubs gave way to trees that grew steadily taller.
When the early afternoon sun became dappled by the forest I rode through, I
knew I reached the Colorado territory.
Or whatever it was named now. If I went looking, I could probably find
the old "Welcome to Colorado" highway sign—covered in rust and filled
with bullet holes, most likely.
A twinge of uneasiness hit me. I was technically in enemy territory. Well-
armed, but alone. What most of the club didn't know was just how badly
Tash's betrayal put us in a bind. Not that it was a secret, most of them just
didn't understand the logistics of a carefully balanced economy. It was all
gone to Hell now and only I could risk my neck to put it back together.
And shitheads like Big G wanted to throw baseless accusations and point
fingers. Fuck him. He had no idea what I gave up to be a Steel Demon. If I
wanted an easy life I could've easily had it, even after the world went to hell
in a handbasket.
I cut ties with most people I knew before MC life. The majority of which
I wouldn't hesitate to shoot if I saw them on the street. But I still had one big
favor to cash in.
It was a long shot in the very best of circumstances. Reaper had smoke
coming out of his ears when I told him at breakfast, but he knew it was our
best chance. Even though I brought it up, I almost wished he ordered me not
to ride out so I wouldn't have to face this person.
Because there was a slim chance I might not make it back.
If this did work, though, we'd have the club well-provided for and Tash
taken care of in one fell swoop. And that was worth the risk.
In a week, maybe less, I hoped to ride home with good news.
Colorado looked practically untouched by the Collapse as I rode through.
Charming ranch homes on large plots of land decorated with aspen, pine, and
oak trees dotted the mountainous landscape. I loved a scenic drive as much as
the next person, but the ominous dread in my stomach over what awaited at
my destination kept me from fully enjoying the view.
The sensation only grew, like a black hole in my body, as I turned off the
highway to a hidden winding road. Anyone else would've missed it if they
didn't know what to look for, but I knew too well.
The road was freshly paved and smooth on my tires, unheard of in the last
decade unless you had enough wealth and power to afford it. Trees shading
the road gave way abruptly to hills covered in vineyards. Rows upon rows of
grapes created a repeating pattern as far as the eye could see. It looked just
like the pictures of the Napa Valley my grandparents showed me, a place in
California once world-renowned for their wines.
Apparently still a booming business, especially with free labor, I thought
bitterly.
The road took me for another mile before leading to a tall, wrought-iron
gate. It looked similar to Sheol's gate, but a fancier version that could be
opened with a push of a button. This one also had what looked like a family
crest on it, crafted from a bronze-like metal to stand out against the black
wrought-iron.
Wait a minute...
The armed guards tightened their grips on their weapons and walked to
the center of the road, but it wasn't them I was leaning forward to see.
That crest looked familiar. I hadn't seen it in years but knew those crossed
rifles, the extinct grizzly bear between the stocks, and the letters YB above
the gun barrels.
It was my family crest.
That was not what I expected to see.
"State your name and business." The guards' leader approached my bike
and peeked over his sunglasses to eyeball the patches on my cut. "And your
MC and position."
"Gunner Youngblood, Steel Demons MC captain of the guard and arms
dealer," I rattled off before nodding at the dude's gun. "Better clean that
barrel, sergeant. It's looking pretty fucking filthy."
His jaw clenched, as did his grip on his gun. "What's your business with
Governor Youngblood?"
I must have heard him wrong. There was no fucking way.
"Governor?" I repeated. "When did my uncle go from general to
governor?"
The guard smirked at my ignorance. "You haven't been around in a while,
I see. The governor's become quite ambitious."
"I can see that. A winery in Colorado, huh?"
"You're in the Province of Jerriton, son," the guard said smugly. "Get
used to the name, 'cause it's gonna stick around for a long time."
"That's what they all say," I returned, still sitting astride my bike as I
crossed my arms. "So you gonna let me in to chat with my uncle or what?"
"You haven't stated your business!"
"Family reunion," I said snidely. "The business I have with Uncle Jerry is
with him alone. Just tell him his nephew Gunner is at the gate. He'll know
what this is about."
The guy's jaw ticked again but he pulled out a radio and mumbled some
string of code words into it as he walked back toward the gate. A response
came through the scratchy speaker, then he said my name and waited for
another reply.
I sighed as I took hold of my grips again. Jerry, what have you done? I
wondered as I took in the neatly trimmed topiaries, the matching bear statues
flanking each side of the gaudy, ornate entryway.
It was ridiculous. Who was he trying to impress with this shit? People just
wanted to keep their families together and hold onto what little, meager
belongings they still had.
Perhaps a better question was, how many people did he exploit to achieve
this level of wealth? And what gave him the idea to flex like this?
The gate slowly began opening to one side with a metallic cranking
sound, while the head guard nodded at me and waved me through.
I took my feet off the ground and drove forward, feeling oddly like going
through that gate would seal my fate in a way. There would be no turning
back from this.
Uncle Jerry and I shared a bloodline but we weren't family, not like I was
with the Demons. I was nothing like him and never would be.
Hopefully he remembered that.
THIRTEEN
 JANDRO

I knocked twice on the door with my free hand, blowing out a deep exhale
as I lowered my fist.
Reaper, why are you such a fucking idiot?
Mari cracked open the door a moment later, fully dressed but her face
was puffy. She looked like she didn't get a wink of sleep.
"Hi, Jandro." Her voice was raspy and she cleared her throat as she
opened the door.
"Morning, Mari." I held out the paper cup and bag. "Brought you coffee
and a breakfast burrito. We're riding out in a half hour."
"Okay. Um, thanks." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, trying to
look poised when all she wanted to do was go back to bed. "Did Reaper send
you up?"
I didn't miss the touch of longing in her voice and treaded lightly on what
I should say.
"He came down alone about an hour ago, extra grumpy and looking like
he got just as much sleep as you. So I figured something was up."
"Oh." She swallowed. "We, uh—“
"It's okay," I raised a hand. "No need to rehash it while it's fresh. We'll get
you home and then go from there."
She forced a tiny smile that made me want to shake Reaper by his
dumbass butthurt shoulders.
"Thanks, Jandro. So I'm riding back with you, I guess?"
"If you want to," I told her earnestly. "Nothing says you have to."
"I will, if that's okay. The only other person would be Gunner and he—“
"Will join me in kicking Reaper's ass when he's back," I promised her.
"I'm happy to have you ride with me, don't worry about a thing." I couldn't
resist a smirk and adding, "I'll behave. Promise."
"I'll believe you this time," she replied, smiling like she was forcing
herself to be cheerful. "Don't make me regret it."
"Oh, you’ll never regret a single minute with me." Shit, already too much.
Pump your brakes, J. She's heartbroken.
But Mariposa laughed lightly and I saw the hint of a genuine smile. "I'm
almost all packed up, so I'll be down in a few minutes. Thanks again for
bringing me food."
"Anytime, Mariposita. I'll see you down in a few."
Her door clicked softly closed while I muttered curses all the way to the
bike garage.
"Where the hell have you been?" Reaper demanded the moment he saw
me. "I need you to sign off on all this cargo strapped to the bikes."
"Yeah well, I'd tell you to sign off my foot up your ass but I don't need
your permission for shit."
"...What?"
"I dunno, that was the first thing that popped into my head. But Mariposa
is what."
He got within inches of my face right then, scowling hard. "What the fuck
did you do?"
"Hm, I'm gonna plead the fifth, Mr. President," I taunted. “'Cause all
signs point to, she's no longer yours. Therefore, what we do is none of your
business."
"I swear to God, Jandro," he leaned in so close, I could've caught his
spittle on my face. "If you really swooped in on her like a fucking vulture, I
will—“
"Jesus, Reap," I shoved him back out of my face. "Your skin is paper-
thin, lately. Of course I didn't do shit. I just brought her coffee and breakfast.
Even if I wanted to swoop in, she's too fucking busy crying over you."
His eyes widened, then narrowed again like he wanted to slug me for
fucking with him. A resigned sigh escaped him as he leaned against his bike,
pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I fucked up, Jandro."
"I'll say."
"I didn't get a chance to tell her anything. Fuck, I don't even know where
to begin with that shit."
"What, did you just suggest bringing other dudes into the bedroom?"
"Kind of, yeah."
"Ugh," I groaned, scrubbing my hands down my face. "You fuckers kill
me. First I gotta tell Shadow why he should say good morning, now I gotta
tell you how to not freak out a woman?"
"Fuck off. I've never done this shit before." He pulled out a cigarette, lit it
and took a deep drag. "Heather used to beg me to share her. Others did, too."
"But that's like a one-night stand begging for old lady status," I said.
He nodded. "Now the one time I want it to happen, she goes off saying
I'm just looking for a pass to fuck other women."
"Mari's from Texas," I explained. "She's probably never heard of the
matriarchal groups."
"Noelle told her a little about ours but," he shook his head. "Clearly not
enough." He sucked on the cigarette once more before tossing the butt away.
"Women," he added with a scoff.
"Right," I crossed my arms. "This is all on you, buddy. Your ego got hurt
and now let me guess, you're going to be too stubborn to man up and
apologize."
 "It's not that," he sighed. "I hurt her, J. When she left, I told her to leave
the door open for the next girl."
"What?! Dude." I stared at him in disbelief. "You are the king of saying
insensitive shit, but really?"
"I know. I know." He rubbed his forehead. "I dunno, man, maybe it's best
that I just cut her loose."
"You mean cut her out of the club entirely? 'Cause that's the only way
she's gonna get over your dumb ass."
"Can't do that," Reaper shook his head. "We need her. Especially if we go
to war with Tash."
"Then it's time to put on your big boy pants and send her flowers or some
shit, 'cause a girl's heart can only take so much. You have to show that you're
sincere."
"How the fuck do you know so much?" he growled.
"Four older sisters, remember?"
"Ah yeah. I forgot."
"What can I say, being surrounded by hot-head Latin women taught me
well." I smacked his arm. "It also taught me that women remember literally
everything you've ever said or done."
"I don't grovel for anyone," Reaper snarled. "Not for a woman, not for a
general with a gun at my head. No one."
"If it were anyone else, I'd be right there with you," I said. "But look me
in the eye and tell me you're willing to let this one go because of your fucking
manly pride."
"Ugh..."
"I know, man." I clapped his shoulder. "But since the hurt is so fresh, you
should give her some space first. Do your groveling when we get home."
"But I want to move past this and go back to how it was!"
"It's not about you, bro. That's what I'm trying to tell you. She needs to let
the sting of you hurting her cool down a little. She needs to feel confident that
you genuinely want this to work. See what I'm saying?"
"Damn it." He kicked at a pebble. "You're right."
"She's riding with me back home. Along with Chela, Perdita, and Letty."
"Who?"
"My chickens," I grinned. "A farm in my back yard don't sound so bad,
after all."
"Jesus Christ, Jandro..."
"Hey, don't come knocking at my door for fresh eggs every morning if
you're gonna bitch." I gave him a two-fingered salute as I walked off. "See
you on the road, presidente."

"UH, JANDRO?"
"Si, Mariposita?"
“Why is Big G in his underwear?”
I looked up, then quickly ducked my head down to hide my laughter.
While the rest of us were decked out in black riding leathers, Big G stood out
like a sore thumb wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that showed way too
much plumber crack. The pasty white boy’s skin was already turning pink
and had a thin sheen of sweat. Dude was going to be fucking miserable, but
he would live.
“Don’t worry about him. It’s punishment for running his mouth.”
“He’s going to get a hell of a sunburn.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of the idea.”
Mariposa turned toward my bike, winding her ponytail up into a bun to
shove under her helmet. "Are your chickens going to be okay like that?"
She looked worriedly at the cages I attached with bungie cords to each
side of my bike. One held two of my girls, Chela and Perdita, the other held
Letty and a rooster I snagged last minute. I decided to call him Foghorn.
 "They'll be okay for two days on the road," I assured her. "Once we're
home, they'll have my whole back yard to roam."
After talking to Reaper, I decided to grab a male to breed the next
generation of chickens. If we were smart about it, Sheol could have its own
sustainable, healthy food source. But they had to be treated well and with
respect, as much respect as one could give a chicken, anyhow.
My uncle used to work in a USDA-funded slaughterhouse. Conditions
there were tough enough before the Collapse, but it turned into a straight-up
horror movie after regulations and safety standards went right out the
window. On top of already being surrounded by blood and death, overworked
employees with worthless pay now had access to dangerous weapons and
animals to take out their frustrations on.
And people wondered why I was so good with Shadow. I'd been soothing
a grown man after his violent nightmares for years already.
"Are you going to build them a coop?" Mari asked with a smile. She
stuck a finger through the cage and gently stroked Perdita's feathers.
"I guess I should, huh?" I scratched the back of my neck. "To keep
coyotes from getting them."
"Don't ask me to play vet," she laughed. "I don't know anything about
bird anatomy."
Together we looked up, finding the familiar sight of Horus perched on the
roof just outside the kitchen. I didn't know much about birds either, but hoped
the raptor had enough sense to leave my chickens alone.
"You miss Gun?" I caught Mari's wistful expression as she watched
Horus take off from the roof.
"Yeah, I do," she admitted. "He took my mind off things and made me
laugh last time."
She didn't have to specify. I hated that she got the blunt end of Reaper's
silent treatment not once, but twice. She was too good of a woman for his
butthurt reactions.
 "He'll be back." I tucked a finger under her chin. "And he's going to be
happy as hell to see you. In the meantime," I flashed her a grin. "I'll do my
best."
"Thanks, Jandro." A soft blush heated her cheeks as her eyelashes
fluttered. "You're already helping a lot."
"Anything to see that smile," I dropped my hand reluctantly, "and to see
Reaper squirm."
She chuckled as she threw a leg over my bike, securing her helmet in
place for the ride. I doubled-checked everything just as Shadow walked up.
"All the weapons and loot from the armory is secure," he reported. "They
are heavy on the bikes, though," he added.
"It's tough having one less bike with Gunner gone," I said, rubbing my
chin. “We'll keep a moderate pace to not burn fuel too fast. Thanks, man."
"Good morning, Shadow!" Mari piped up.
I knelt next to my front tire to hide my laugh, where I could see Shadow's
hand clench into a fist. His eyes slid down to me with a scowl.
"Say it," I mouthed.
"Good morning," he grunted out before turning and high-tailing it back to
his bike.
"Wow," I said, rising up to standing. "That's two more words than I've
ever heard him say to a woman. The next two might be marry me."
"Shut up." Her eyes rolled under her visor. "Why doesn't he talk to
women?"
"That's a long, horrendously sad story that isn't mine to tell." My gaze
lifted to my big silent friend sitting astride his bike, waiting to go.
"How did you two meet?"
"Through my job before the Collapse." I needed to be on my bike, too,
but I didn't want to stop looking at her or talking to her. "I don't mean to be
vague but he's uncomfortable with people knowing about his past, so I try to
respect that."
 "You're a good friend." Her smile was hidden by the helmet but I saw it
in the corners of her eyes anyway.
"Thanks, Mari." I threw a leg over my steed, knowing I'd be sitting out
here forever if I didn't get moving. "Ready to ride?"
"I'm ready." Her hands slid around my abdomen with more confidence
and assuredness than the first time she rode with me.
I almost sighed at her touch on me. And thought for the hundredth time
that day how much of an idiot Reaper was.
The roar of his engine suddenly cut through the quiet desert morning. The
Steel Demons answered with the growls and revs of our bikes, like a pack of
wolves answering their alpha's call. Mari's fingers curled around the edges of
my cut.
Hades let out a long, chilling howl before he darted out from the back of
the pack. He looked thrilled to run again, jaws open in a wide smile with his
tongue lolling out the side.
Reaper followed after him seconds later, his tires kicking up dirt and
sand. Damn, I was going to be cleaning the chrome on these steeds until I
was stooped over and grey.
We followed after him in our usual procession. Feeling my bike move
underneath me was like returning home already. Sure, I had a home base, but
the road was where I belonged.
As the Sandia Mountain outpost became a distant speck in my mirrors, I
had to remember not to get too comfortable on the journey.
We still had a traitor among us. And it could be any one of these men
riding alongside me.
FOURTEEN
 MARIPOSA

I forgot how comfortable it was to ride with Jandro.

Something about his tires or the design of his bike made it seem like a
relaxing train ride rather than a bumpy desert highway. Even the chickens
didn't seem distressed, despite being surrounded by rumbling engines.
Muffled by the padding inside Noelle's helmet, the noise quickly became
a soft lull that was almost comforting. Combined with the ease I felt on the
back of Jandro's bike, my lack of sleep started catching up with me.
My head wanted to rest on the back of his shoulder a few hours into the
ride. My fingers started to slack on their grip around his waist. At one point
he grabbed my hand and held it against his chest. I couldn't be sure if he was
trying to prevent me from falling off or wanted to touch me for some other
reason.
He didn't let go until we stopped for our first break, and it was a slow,
gentle release finger by finger.
"Falling asleep on me back there?" he asked when he cut the engine and
dismounted.
I pulled my helmet off and shook my hair out. "It feels like a princess
carriage," I laughed. "I barely felt the road at all."
"Good. That means my shocks are holding up. I'm gonna have to replace
these gaiters, though, the sun and sand are doing a number on 'em."
 "English now," I teased. "Or I'll speak only in medical terms."
"Sorry." He shot me an adorably sheepish grin. "I geek out about bikes.
And I'd love to hear you talk medic to me, baby."
"Well right now," I wiped sweat from my brow and shielded my eyes. "I'd
say a sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is totally worth the risk in this heat."
"Okay, you just made that shit up," he laughed.
"I did not! Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is a legitimate medical
diagnosis."
"Sounds terrifying. What is it?"
"Brain freeze," I grinned. "From eating ice cream."
"Brain...freeze!" He doubled over his handlebars, laughing so hard he
could barely get the words out.
A few heads turned to see what the commotion was. I didn't dare meet
any of their eyes, for fear of looking right at Reaper.
"What the fuck! Oh God..." Jandro finally composed himself, even having
to wipe tears from his eyes. "Yeah, I sure wouldn't mind a sphino-whatever-
the-fuck if I got ice cream out of it."
We all took about a half-hour to stretch our legs and have bites to eat
before Reaper gave the order to ride on. I climbed back on behind Jandro,
remembering with sadness that I'd never ridden with Reaper. He'd been all
pissed at me on the way to the Sandia outpost, too. We were together, maybe
in not a super significant way, but more so than with anyone else. And yet I
never rode on the back of his bike.
That time he took me from Old Phoenix didn't count—we'd been tied
together by a rope so I wasn't exactly a willing passenger.
An ache filled me at the thought of never holding onto him as the world
flew past us. I'd never rest my head on the back of his shoulder like now with
Jandro. The vice president's hand caressed mine again, which felt nice but it
wasn't Reaper's.
Hell, I didn't know if Reaper would even let me stay in the club after this.
With Jandro and Gunner in my corner, I'd hopefully end up okay. But would
I really be able to get over seeing Reaper all the time?
The landscape distracted me from my thoughts until dusk approached and
we stopped for the night. I offered to set up Jandro's tent and bedroll, partially
to be useful but mostly to keep myself busy.
"You're an angel. Thank you." Jandro kissed my temple so quickly, both
of us froze and stared at each other as if to say, did that just happen?
"Sorry," he mumbled distractedly, jerking his gaze away. "I'm gonna get a
fire started."
I set up his sleeping area, all the while still feeling the warmth and
pressure of his lips on the side of my head. Reaper kissed me there a few
times, but I came to realize I didn't mind that Jandro did it.
It was nothing like his sneaky neck kiss back at Fight Night. He was
playing with me then, deliberately trying to get a rise out of me.
This was different. He seemed like a naturally affectionate person, but
wasn't trying to play it up and be all smooth this time. He knew I'd be
completely alone with Gunner gone and Reaper ignoring me again. As
Reaper's right hand man, I had serious doubts he was being nice to me for his
own gain.
I took a moment to stretch out on his sleeping bag, enjoying the quietness
and solitude. The Demons' voices were a gentle murmur outside these canvas
walls. Just like on his bike, Jandro's tent felt safe and comfortable enough that
I could relax completely.
Rolling onto my side, I couldn't resist taking a small whiff. And then a
bigger one. Goddamnit, even his sleeping bag smelled good.
"Hey, Mari."
"What!" I shot upright just as Jandro pulled back the flap.
He looked amused at my startled reaction. "Sorry, were you taking a
nap?"
"No, no. I was just...resting. What's up?"
 "Uh huh," he smirked but chose not to comment. "The fire's going. Come
out and make your dinner plate. Then you can rest on my sleeping bag all you
want."
"Shut up," I muttered, climbing to my feet and following him out.
The club settled into their familiar evening routine--drinking, laughing,
and swapping stories as the sun set below the horizon. Horus perched on a
nearby boulder, preening his feathers next to the fire. It almost felt like
Gunner was right there, but had just shifted into his bird friend.
"I miss you, Gun," I whispered.
Horus looked at me with a small head tilt, then made a few chirpy clicks
in response.
Throughout the evening, Jandro kept me distracted from looking over at
Reaper with stories from his childhood.
"My sister convinced me putting peanut butter in my hair would give me
that badass spiky look." He shook his head sadly. "I was the youngest of five
and the only boy. It was a nightmare."
"Aww, pobrecito Alejandro," I smiled. "That bad to be surrounded by
women all the time, huh?"
"Awful. I'm scarred for life," he joked back. "Do you have any siblings?"
"No. Um," I paused and bit my lip nervously. "My parents weren't
married when my mom got pregnant with me."
His eyebrows lifted with understanding. "Oh."
"Yeah, they were dating and falling in love anyway, but rushed into
marriage to prevent my mom from being ostracized for loose morals." I threw
back the rest of my lukewarm beer. "I think that whole experience put her off
from having another kid, even though she was safe after getting married."
"They called it seductive witchcraft in Arizona," Jandro sneered. "After
raiding the matriarchal communities, officials went on witch hunts for the
most ridiculous shit. Women with tattoos, women who were rumored to have
had children out of wedlock, widows who had remarried. You'd think this
was the Salem witch trials after all that bullshit."
"Where are your sisters now?" I asked.
"Last I heard, hiding out in Oregon. I mean, excuse me, the Constitutional
Monarchy of Cascadia," he added with an eye roll. "Supposedly one of the
safest and most stable places after the Collapse."
"Have you heard from them?"
"I got a letter and a care package from the oldest one about three months
ago." He was quiet for a moment, staring into the fire. "The second-youngest
got pregnant by a man she's not married to, which worries me a little. But all
four of them are super close, and from what I understand, they're all together
and supporting her." He chuckled to himself. "And I guess I'm an uncle now."
"Well congratulations, Tio Jandro." I knocked my empty cup against his.
"I hope you'll see your sisters again and get to meet your niece or nephew."
"Thanks, Mariposita. Me, too."
The darkness of night grew deeper as the fire died down. Men started
retiring to their tents, while the first ones on patrol loaded their weapons for
their shift. I thought I should try to catch some sleep, too, but felt a stronger
pull to keep talking to Jandro.
"So you knew about the matriarchal groups, but weren't a part of them?" I
asked.
"Right," he answered. "They sold a bunch of their handmade goods at a
weekly market near us. Our whole household would go, it was our weekly
thing. My aunt loved the jewelry that Reaper's mom made, so that's how he
and I met."
"Did your aunt know about...?"
"The multiple husband thing? I don't think it was ever explicitly said, but
it was pretty clear. Reaper's dads would pop in and out of there, hauling
supplies or bringing lunch or something. My aunt was Catholic and would
pray for Reap's mom every Sunday, but I think it was more asking for
protection than anything else. She knew why they formed their communities
and was sympathetic to those reasons."
"Your aunt sounds like a kind woman."
"She was," he nodded. "A saint, really. She had to be to run that circus of
a household."
He paused to turn to Shadow seated on the other side of him. The big man
had been nursing his liquor bottle since we set up camp and seemed to have
reached his limit.
"I'll let you tend to your duties, Mr. Vice President," I brushed my pants
off as I stood up.
Jandro's head whipped back to face me. "Wait for me in my tent."
I nodded, gathering up our dishes as I headed that way. I kind of figured
he wouldn't let me sleep alone, but it was still nice to get that confirmation.
In his tent by a dim flashlight, I unfolded several blankets and laid them
out next to his sleeping bag. I wasn't presumptuous enough to assume I'd be
sleeping all cuddled up in the bag with him. And anyway, I wasn't ready to do
that with any other man besides Reaper.
God damn Reaper.
Lying alone in the silent tent with nothing to distract me, the pang of my
heartache hit me hard. It was even worse than the night he kicked me out of
his room.
I sucked in a shaky breath, willing myself not to cry. Jandro would be in
here in a few minutes. He was already being so good to me, he didn't need to
deal with this.
Reaper's final words to me seemed to cut physically through my brain
matter and heart chambers. Did he really have someone else come to his
room that night? Or did he say that just to hurt me? I still couldn't decide
which was worse, not even when my thoughts circled like this that night, too.
When the first sob escaped, I slapped a hand over my mouth. No, he's not
worth it. He's across the camp right now, probably jerking himself off to
thoughts of someone else. Don't give him another ounce of your power. But
once my body started its physical grieving practice, it was impossible to shut
it off.
I curled up onto my side, turning away from the tent's entrance and
brought the blanket up high over my shoulder. Hopefully Jandro would think
I went straight to sleep and swiftly do the same.
My breath halted in my lungs as I heard him climb inside.
"You asleep, Mari?" he whispered.
I didn't answer, sealing my lips and breath inside myself.
I heard rustling as he took off his boots and settled into his sleeping bag.
My heart nearly exploded when I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"You're holding your breath. What's wrong?"
All my air escaped in a shaking, sniffling wheeze. "H-how did you
know?"
"Four sisters, remember? I shared a bedroom until I was fourteen. I know
all the signs of a girl trying to cry silently." He scooted closer to my back,
rubbing a hand up and down my arm. "Talk to me, Mari. I won't talk back if
you don't want me to. I can just listen."
"It's nothing," I sniffed, wiping at my nose. "Sorry, don't worry about
me."
"Too late for that. And it's not nothing." He scooted closer until I felt his
chest brush against my back. Oh shit, he took his shirt off.
I struggled through my shaky breaths as he lay silently behind me, only
his hand moving in a soothing motion up and down my arm.
"I'm just," I sniffed, "processing, I guess. Getting over him. I was starting
to feel...too much. And I didn't want to get hurt. But I guess that happened
anyway."
Jandro said nothing for a few moments, but his hand moved from my arm
to make gentle strokes through my hair.
"You want to know a secret about Reaper? Something very few people
know?"
 "I dunno, Jandro."
"You can't breathe a word of it to anyone, not even him. But I think it's
important for you to know."
"Um, okay."
"He's the most sensitive fucker I've ever met."
"What?" My laugh came out like a snort.
"He feels a lot for you, too, and I think that scared him. But what happens
when he cares about someone is he takes shit so personally. Any perceived
insult of his character will eat away at his soul. So he'll lash out in response to
hurt the person who hurt him."
"Oh my God," I slapped a palm to my forehead. "That's exactly what I
made him do. Both times."
"Don't beat yourself up, Mari. We've all taken the brunt of Reaper's
temper before. He's been a lot more volatile ever since Daren died."
"I can't believe I never made that connection." A different ache formed in
my heart, one of empathy. "He's been hurting the whole time I've known him.
How could I miss that?"
"He shoves it down deep," Jandro answered. "Covers it up with that
asshole exterior. But the happiest I've seen him in over a year is when he's
with you. So you might be healing our president after all, Miss Medic."
I rolled over slowly, the darkness thankfully hiding my puffy face. "Can I
be honest with you, Jandro?"
"Always." His hands pulled away from my hair to tuck behind his head.
"I don't know if I can go back to that. Having to watch what I say, dealing
with him not talking to me for days if I say the wrong thing. I lov—he means
a lot to me, but I can't live like that."
I swallowed the knot in my throat, the weight of what I almost said
feeling like a brick in my stomach.
"The guy's not perfect, that's for damn sure," Jandro said. "And you're
free to choose your own partner, or partners. But if anyone can remove
Reap's head from his ass, I'm betting on you."
It was sweet of him to say, but my mind was made up even though my
heart disagreed with every pump of blood through me. The heart was stupid,
though. That was why it wasn't the brain.
After we got back to Sheol, I wasn't going to be anyone's girl. It didn't
matter if they wanted arm candy, casual sex, or something more. I just
wanted to be a medic and do what I loved most.
I'd have to move out of Reaper's place most likely, but I'd figure out the
logistics of that when the time came. Maybe I could be Gunner or Jandro's
roommate. Platonically, of course.
I smiled at the thought of seeing Tessa again. She'd be ready to pop soon
and I couldn't wait to deliver and meet her baby. That was what I needed to
focus on. My work, my calling in life. Not a guy, no matter how good in bed
he was.
"Thanks for listening, Jandro." I reached out in the darkness, aiming
blindly for a half-hug or maybe a pat on the shoulder. Instead my hand found
a flat plane followed by ridges of hard muscle.
"Okay, this is really embarrassing as a medic but what am I touching?"
"You're like a half-inch away from tweaking my nipple. Which you are
welcome to do, by the way."
I knew he'd expect me to pull my hand away, and so decided to play his
own game and do just the opposite.
"Ow! I said you could tweak it, not give me a full-on titty twister!"
"It was too tempting," I laughed, sliding my hands under my head. "I'm
learning how you play."
"I'm creating a monster," he chuckled before pulling his sleeping bag over
him. "Goodnight, Mariposita."
I saw his dark outline lean over to me and I lifted my head without
thinking.
The kiss he planted landed at the corner of my mouth.
FIFTEEN
 MARIPOSA

I knew before even fully waking that I ended up in Jandro's sleeping bag.
After crying and spilling my guts out to him, I didn't even care.
My head snuggled into his chest, mostly smooth and hairless except for a
small strip between his pecs. He was built broader than Reaper, with slightly
thicker arms. His smell carried a hint of motor oil alongside clean earth. The
same smell I leaned into on the back of his bike, and wrapped around myself
in his blankets.
I let out a sigh and nuzzled my face deeper into him, not ready to leave
this cocoon of warmth and safety I found. He responded by tightening his
arm around me, pulling me flush against his torso.
"You awake?" he mumbled somewhere above my head.
"No."
"Me neither." He sighed contentedly, his chest expanding against my
cheek. "You okay like this?"
"Mm hm." My hand drifted along his ribs. "I don't want to move," I
confessed.
"Same here, Mariposita." He pulled back to look at me and I almost
gasped at the sight of his hazel eyes up close. The shifting colors almost put
Reaper's eyes to shame. "I don't want to make your feelings even more
confused," he said.
 "I'm not confused," I assured him. "Reaper and I are over."
He cocked an eyebrow, propping his head up with an elbow. "Is that so?"
I nodded. "It's still fresh. I mean, it'll take me a little while to move on.
And he has so, so many great qualities, but—“ I paused, letting it sink in that
I was technically in bed with Reaper's best friend while gabbing about him.
"But he's Reaper and he's kind of exhausting," I finished.
Jandro looked at me curiously. "He never told you how relationships
work with him, right?"
"All he said was he didn't do traditional relationships. I just figured that
meant he liked to play the field." I ran a hand through my hair. "I thought I
was okay with that but I guess not."
"I see," Jandro mused as if I had somehow answered wrong. "Well," he
straightened his arm so his head flopped back down, "as much as I'd like to
stay here all day, we gotta get moving."
"Ugh." I buried my face in his chest again, bracing my arm against his
back to hold him in place.
He just chuckled as he dropped a kiss to the top of my head. "I'll bring
you coffee." His hands stroked my hair and back as he made his offer.
"Fine," I grumbled, reluctantly letting go.
Jandro rolled away from me lazily, pulling on his jeans and boots but
didn't bother with a shirt.
I watched him leave the tent, basking in the warmth of the spot he just
left. He didn't make this weird, which he easily could have. I cried and
lamented my heartache over his best friend all while basically spooning with
him. Then I spent the night in his arms and in the morning, we talked about
me and his best friend some more.
He made it all seem so...normal. Just being in his presence felt soothing
and like a safe place to get things off my chest. It made me wonder how
many people came to him with their problems. How many people who had no
one, and like me, he took them under his proverbial wing.
 I was still fully dressed except for my boots, so I pulled those on and
pushed open the tent flap to see who was up.
Jandro was talking to Shadow, who was in a short-sleeved T-shirt for the
first time that I saw. The texture on his forearms made me do a double-take.
Rows of scars crisscrossing and overlapping ran from his wrist and
disappeared under his sleeve. They were pale and thin, clearly several years
old, and looked like self-harm scars. Which wasn't that unusual but there
were so many.
"Un cafe para la Mariposita." Jandro pulled my attention away as he
approached with two cups of coffee.
"Gracias." I accepted the steaming tin mug from him and cupped my
palms around it. By the time my attention returned to Shadow, he pulled on
his signature black long-sleeved shirt and was shrugging on his cut.
"Looks like Foghorn and the girls made it through the night." Jandro bent
over the cages still affixed to his bike. All four birds appeared calm, either
sitting or preening themselves. "Don't worry, you guys will be out before the
end of the day."
"When do you expect to reach Sheol?" I asked.
"Before nightfall," he answered. "In plenty of time for a homecoming
barbecue but I think everyone's gonna want to crash at home tonight. We'll
throw a party tomorrow night." His eyes brightened as he looked at me.
"Feeling homesick?"
"A little, yeah," I admitted.
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "For Texas or Sheol?"
"Sheol," I clarified. "Texas changed so much in the last few years and I've
been away for so long," I shook my head. "It's not my home anymore."
"Well, I'll be damned," he smirked. "Bet you never thought you'd
consider a biker club home, huh?"
"I know," I laughed. "I miss Noelle and Tessa. I'm dying for pregnancy
updates! I miss the little medic's office." My fingers drummed on my cup
with a thought that popped into my head. "Do you know if the kids in the
club are vaccinated?"
"They're not. A lot of the adults aren't either." Jandro sipped from his cup.
“Even flu shots haven't been affordable for normal people in at least ten
years."
"I'd like to start vaccinating everyone in the club then, if that's okay," I
said. "I have a small stockpile of the essentials, but maybe Gunner can get me
more. With the lack of medical care and rise of preventable diseases, I'd like
to give the kids a chance at a higher quality of life."
"That's fine with me. I'll bring it up at the next church meeting." He
grinned at me. "You are in much better spirits today, Mariposita."
"I feel better," I admitted. "And I owe a lot of it to you." My eyes fell to
my coffee, a rush of shyness taking over. "Thanks for being there, Jandro. I
needed someone just to lean on and listen, and there you were."
"Don't mention it," he said softly. "I'm always here for the ones that
matter to me." A warm beat of silence passed between us before I pressed my
mug back into his hand. "Thanks for the coffee. I'll get everything packed up.
You do what you need to get this show on the road."
"Mmkay. Let me know if you need any help." He leaned over and kissed
the edge of my cheekbone before walking off.
I watched him for a few paces, reaching up to touch where his lips made
contact with my skin for a fraction of a second. He did it so casually, like it
was the most normal thing to do.
And maybe it was. Cheek kisses were common displays of affection
between platonic friends and even family members in Latin cultures. I wasn't
sure when that barrier broke or whether it was completely platonic. But as I
watched his broad shoulders swagger away, I realized it didn't matter. Kisses,
coffee, a listening ear, or a gentle tease—all gestures that were Jandro's way
of showing he cared.
I broke down his tent, watching as he paused to talk with Shadow, giving
the big man a slap on the shoulder before moving on. Something else
occurred to me then. Jandro wasn't just a caring guy, but the club's caretaker.
While Reaper barked orders and grumbled like a hungover bear, Jandro
went around like the club dad and made sure everything got done. Shadow
always stayed closest to him, like a son would hover near his father. The
dynamic was so clear to me now, I couldn't believe I didn't notice earlier.
Reaper ignored me all morning, as expected. It still stung but not as badly
as before. I'd probably have another good cry or two before it stopped
hurting, but at least I wasn't completely alone anymore.
The whole club packed up and was on the road again within an hour. I
leaned unabashedly against Jandro on his bike this time, even running my
hands across his chest and abs. We played a game where I tried to tweak his
nipple before he stopped me. He'd get me back by reaching behind to poke or
tickle me.
On the last leg of the ride, the final stretch before reaching home, we
stopped with the games. Everyone was exhausted and dying to sleep in their
own beds. Jandro occasionally ran his hand down the side of my leg. When I
massaged his chest, he brought my fingers to his lips and kissed them. After
debating it for the last hundred miles, I placed a kiss on the back of his neck.
His heart sped up under my hand.
I didn't know if this would lead anywhere but in the meantime, it was a
fun distraction. Whatever the outcome, I knew Jandro wouldn't lash out at me
like Reaper had.
The sky exploded into a brilliant sunset display—pinks, purples and
oranges like it was on fire. I was enthralled by the view when Jandro
squeezed my thigh to get my attention.
"Home sweet home!" he yelled over the engines, pointing straight ahead
on the horizon.
I squinted and could just barely make out the tall, wrought-iron gate
surrounding the community of Sheol. A tiny speck hovering in the distance,
the black flag with the Steel Demons emblem flapped as if beckoning us
home.
"SKREEEEEK! SKREEK! SKREEK!"
"Whoa, Horus!" I almost pulled Jandro and I off balance with how
closely Gunner's falcon screeched in my ear.
He flew right alongside us, so close I could reach out and stroke his wing.
And the screeching never stopped. He almost sounded panicked.
"What is it?" I asked the bird. Dread pooled in my stomach. Something
wasn't right.
Horus cut away, angling like a fighter jet as he shot upward in a straight
line, until he became a tiny dark speck in the sky.
"Jandro, I think something’s—“
"Whoa, Hades!"
He braked as he turned sharply, drifting a few feet to miss Reaper's dog
who ran straight in front of us. Hades sprinted to our left, while Horus had
taken off to the right. What the fuck were the animals doing? The whole club
slowed to a stop in the middle of the empty road.
"Reaper, what's gotten into Hades?" someone asked.
"He senses danger, but I have no clue." Reaper squinted in the direction
his furry beast ran off to. "Someone get me a pair of binoculars."
I looked in the opposite direction and found the dark dot in the sky that
was Horus. He hovered at a high altitude, almost directly above us from our
perspective.
Then he divebombed.
The adorable little bird of prey turned into a missile, hurtling toward the
earth almost too fast for my eyes to follow. I almost screamed. He was going
to splat against the ground!
But in the last few seconds, his wings stretched out and his claws
extended. Gunner's bird was hunting. And when he hit his target, I could see
his prey was much bigger than him.
 There were several of them and they were coming straight for us. I could
barely make out shapes in the distance but they were definitely person-sized.
A low, constant rumble made me turn my head to the left. Hades' prey
was much closer and approaching fast. Men on motorcycles formed one dark
line on the horizon.
"J-Jandro," I whispered, clutching his shoulders.
"Steel Demons, draw your weapons!" Reaper bellowed, already wielding
a handgun. "We're getting ambushed!"
SIXTEEN
 GUNNER

T
asphalt.
he guard detail beyond the gate led me down a long, winding driveway
—freshly paved as the private road had been. I could still smell the

In the distance, a massive house loomed up ahead. I couldn't even really

call it a house, it looked like a fucking castle. We had pretty sweet digs back
at Sheol, but this place even made Reaper's mansion look like a shack. It
sprawled out to the sides and had tall spires that seemed to pierce the clouds.
Uncle Jerry, what have you done...
Some dude in a suit waited for me at the wide, arching front door. I drove
around a huge ornate water fountain and pulled up to the bottom of the
shallow steps where he stood.
"Mr. Youngblood," he said in a crisp accent. "Your uncle is pleasantly
surprised at your visit. I'm his butler. You may call me Chandler."
A butler? What fucking year was it again?
"Call me Gunner." I dropped my feet to the ground but left my bike
idling. "Wouldn't want you getting my uncle and I mixed up now."
He aimed a tense, patronizing smile at me. "I wouldn't dream of it. You
may park your vehicle in the garage if you continue on this road. Security
will bring you inside to a sitting room, where you may wait until Governor
Youngblood is ready to receive you."
 "Thanks," I couldn't help but sneer the word out, "Chandler."
I was ready to eat my words when the garage door pulled up. "Holy shit,"
I breathed.
A car enthusiast's wet dream laid out before me. The cherry red Corvette
caught my eye first—the thing had to be over a hundred years old and was
still in pristine condition—but I also recognized BMWs, Mercedes, and even
a Mach 1 Mustang that had to be from 1969. That thing wasn't just a car, but
an artifact.
Whether in a luxury or sporty mood, Uncle Jerry had fine tastes.
I parked next to a BMW 8 series and went with the guard who kept
mugging me from across the garage. He told me to wait in a room filled with
stuffy furniture that was probably worth more than my bike and all the
weapons I had on me combined. I was ready to put up a stink if any of these
guards demanded I come in unarmed. But no one did, which meant security
sucked at their job or Uncle Jerry had enough of his own firepower for it to
not matter.
Chandler came to fetch me after about fifteen minutes, leading me
through a long hallway with a tall, domed ceiling. Aside from him, the
guards, and what looked like cleaning staff, not many other people seemed to
be milling about the mansion. I couldn't decide if that was a good or bad
thing.
Chandler knocked three times on a set of ornately-carved double doors—
again with the Youngblood family crest. My insides churned at the sight of it.
I purposely distanced myself from my blood relatives only to find myself
right back in their shenanigans again.
The butler pulled the doors open right after knocking, revealing a
comfortable study inside. It reminded me a little of Reaper's study at his
house, only much bigger. Dark wooden accents, soft leather chairs, and warm
yellow lamplight.
But here, a young blonde woman was straightening her clothes as she
stood up from behind the desk in the center of the room. Pink lipstick was
smeared on her chin. She was beautiful, but her green eyes looked cold and
dead.
"Gunner!" my uncle cried out jovially, raising his arms out as if awaiting
a hug. "It's been so long!"
He was sweating a little under his expensive smoking jacket and he
panted slightly.
"Howdy, uncle," I returned flatly. "Didn't mean to interrupt anything."
"Not at all, Katya was just leaving." His eyes slid over to the blonde who
took her cue to leave. "Can I get you anything?" His attention zapped back to
me. "A drink? A cigar?"
"Sure, I'll take one of each."
"Excellent. Chandler!" He snapped his fingers. "Bring us a couple of
Cubans and that bourbon I save for special visitors." He chuckled to himself.
"You think we can still call it bourbon if Kentucky's not on the map
anymore?"
"Why change a good thing, right?" I lowered myself into one of the chairs
across from his desk. "So, seems you've done well for yourself, governor." I
flexed my hands up to indicate the whole room. "Province of Jerriton, huh?"
"Oh, you know I've always been ambitious, Gunner," he grinned at me
from across the desk. "All the men in our family are."
"Yeah, about that." I paused to accept the cigar from the silver tray held
out by Chandler. "We're not family." I struck the match and lit the end,
puffing on the dried, burning tobacco worth a small fortune. Once I got it
going, I took the glass of bourbon on the silver tray. "I'm here because my
real family did you a solid when they could have just as easily let you get
killed. They didn't, so you owe a large part of your success to SDMC,
governor." I exhaled slowly. "And I'm here to cash in on what you owe us.”
"Still running around with that gang, are you?" my uncle remarked,
lighting his own cigar. "You're almost thirty now, Gun. Don't you think it's
time you settled down, started thinking about the future?"
"The future is fucked," I retorted. "It'll take decades to recover from the
Collapse, if we ever do. Neither one of us will see a return to order in our
lifetimes, so who gives a fuck? I ride hard and live like I'll die tomorrow
because that's exactly what might happen. And you know what?" I turned
sideways in his cushy chair, throwing my legs up over the armrest. "I've
never been happier. Life is fucking good when you live it one day at a time."
"That's so typical of a young buck like you to say." Uncle Jerry leaned
back, propping his feet up on his desk. "But planning for the future doesn't
mean you have to sacrifice a fun life in the present." He spread his arms wide.
"As you observed, I've done well for myself in a short amount of time."
"Yeah, how'd you manage that?" I didn't bother to hide the disdain
creeping into my voice. "General to governor isn't exactly a straight climb up
the corporate ladder."
"Are you lecturing me about survival tactics in a post-Collapse world,
mister outlaw biker?" he chuckled patronizingly. "I haven't done anything
you wouldn't approve of for yourself or one of your outlaw brothers."
"Right. Here's the difference between you and me, Uncle Jerry." I swung
my feet back down to the floor, looking at him straight on. "A Steel Demon
doesn't play politics. You couldn't pay me enough to stab one of my brothers
in the back, no matter what the personal gain might be. And while we're the
furthest thing from saints, we don't use people like machinery or sex toys.
Whether we're buying weapons or women for the night, we pay fairly. All
this shit," I gestured around the room, "and that dead-eyed, broken girl
sucking your dick under your desk? I don't want any part of it. Hell, I'd drop
the Youngblood name if I could."
He didn't say anything for a few moments that seemed to stretch on, but
just watched me with a guarded expression as the cigar smoke swirled around
him. The guy went from popular actor to decorated general because of his
charm and charisma, but he was also manipulative and crafty as hell. I didn’t
trust him as far as I could blow smoke.
Under the former governor of the Colorado territory, Jerry kept the
borders fairly consistent as when it was a US state and maintained
independence from all the surrounding power grabs post-Collapse. Because
of this, the state government held on much longer than most other former
states. Colorado was known as a utopia of order, safety, and stability in the
chaos that followed the Collapse. People flocked here by the thousands over
the last five years. I was with Uncle Jerry in the broadcasting room when he
announced over the radio that anyone was welcome in Colorado. The
citizens, military, and governor at the time all trusted him.
Then he took that trust and brutally abused it.
Not long after thousands of new citizens got settled in, he recruited
women for a "job fair." It turned out that job was servicing his soldiers and
not being allowed to leave.
Frantic spouses, siblings, children, and parents all petitioned General
Youngblood to find their missing loved ones, not knowing they were being
held in cells right beneath their feet.
Until one woman escaped.
The public rioted when they found out what my uncle had done. His
personal guard and the small military units with him were quickly
overwhelmed. The Steel Demons were just passing through at the time of the
riots and I had stopped by for a visit, as we were more cordial back then.
He threw himself down at my feet, begging for protection with tears in
his eyes, just until the rest of the army came down from the capital. I told him
he deserved a pitchfork up his ass for what he did to those women. I never
should have listened to his hysterical whimpering about family and being
there for each other. I should have kept walking. Everything would have
played so differently if I had.
But had I done so, I wouldn't have him now in my back pocket for when
General Tash fucked us. And as much as I hated to admit it, a governor
would be a hell of a lot more useful than just another general.
“Fair enough, Gunner,” my uncle finally said lightheartedly, although I
knew for a fact he wouldn’t let this go so easily. “What can I do for you and
your adopted biker family?”
“We had a falling out with our biggest trade partner and need a
replacement,” I cut right to the chase. “We have a surplus of weapons right
now, and I have good working relationships with firearm suppliers and
manufacturers. Assuming you want to grow and expand the influence of your
new province, you’ll want to keep your position protected.”
“What if I already have weapons deals?” he said smugly.
“That’s fine, keep them. But as your province grows, you’ll need more.
Consider it an investment for the future,” I used his own words right back at
him.
“And in exchange, you want…?”
“Food, toiletries, clothing, motor oil and fuel, medical supplies, tools for
home and vehicle maintenance,” I counted on my fingers as I rattled off the
basic necessities. “And building materials such as lumber and sheet metal on
an as-needed basis.”
“For how many people?”
“Around thirty. Mostly men, but some women and kids. A few pets.”
“What are you running, a commune out there?” Jerry scoffed.
“Basically,” I answered. “We have a permanent home with a thriving
community. Taking care of our people is a priority.”
“I see.” His response was carefully measured. “This sounds like an
exchange to me. A fair one, I might add, which still leaves me in your debt.
How do you intend to cash in on your favor?”
“I’m so glad you asked.” I took a hearty sip of bourbon. “Our former
trade partner is a general who double-crossed us. He led us into a trap and
tried to have us executed. We escaped with no casualties, but retribution must
be paid for what he did.”
 My uncle swallowed. For the first time, he seemed nervous.
“Retribution as in?”
“Death. A nice, slow public execution. It’s been a long time since my
president’s done one of those and he’s probably itching for it. But we need
manpower. This general has his own army, plus agreements with other MCs.”
Jerry’s face paled a little. “What’s the general’s name?”
“Renold Tash. He’s holding power just south of here in the old New
Mexico territory, which he’s going to rename New Ireland, apparently. The
territory has no governor as of yet. He’s expected to take the seat himself or
appoint someone.”
“Gunner,” Jerry shook his head with a grave expression. “I can’t help
you. Tash and I are in the middle of a ceasefire.”
“So?” I retorted. “Break it.”
“I can’t.”
“What, you don’t like going back on your word when the other guys are
pointing guns at you?” I mocked.
“Gunner, I have to be smart about this—”
“Oh, I understand. You only lie to those who are completely defenseless,
got it.”
“Gunner!” He coughed out my name with a thick cloud of cigar smoke.
“If I play my cards right, there’s a chance he’ll sell me part of the New
Mexico territory. My province could expand by twenty percent in one move
and with no casualties. Think of all the goods I can trade with you then!”
I gave him a long hard look of bewilderment.
“Did you not hear a word I said? Everything was going fine, then he tried
to have us executed! You don’t think he’ll do the same to you?”
“You’ve never been a general, so let me explain something to you, son,”
Jerry leaned across his desk. “We like hiring MCs because our hands stay
clean while you all do the dirty work. And y’all are a dime a dozen, I’m
afraid. When we no longer need your services, you’re disposable.”
 “Not the Steel Demons,” I hissed. “No other MC can touch us. Treat us
like we’re disposable and we’ll return the gesture right back.”
“Even so,” Jerry tented his fingers. “General Tash and I have a mutual
respect for each other. We both served our country, back when this place still
was a country. And now we’ve carved out our own little empires. I’ll always
have a soft spot for you because you’re my brother’s kid, but I can’t say I
have the same respect for those thugs you ride with.”
I threw my head back and laughed. Once I started, I just couldn’t stop.
My stomach ached but the laughter kept coming. I sucked in enough of a
breath to say, “Should’ve thought of that before you begged us to protect you.
Oh God…”
When my laughter finally ceased, I drained the rest of the bourbon, stood
up, and ashed my cigar right on Jerry’s desk.
“What are you doing?!” he demanded, gasping as the charred, circular
mark permanently embedded into the expensive wood.
“Remember this, Uncle.” I pointed at him with the cigar. “You and Tash
may not ride, and you may not wear patches, but you’re bigger thugs than
we’ll ever be.”
I tossed the rest of the cigar carelessly and let it roll across his desk, but
didn’t wait to see where it ended up. I was already out the door.
SEVENTEEN
 MARIPOSA

"W eapons out!"

"Tighten up, come in close!"
"Shoot their tires!"
Pure chaos surrounded me. The Steel Demons yelled back and forth,
repositioned their bikes, ran to others' bikes to grab guns and ammo. And I
just sat frozen and watched.
Reaper brought two fingers to his mouth and blew a long whistle.
"We're outnumbered, so do not group up like sitting ducks, Demons," he
roared. "Ride your fucking bikes like you just came out of Hell! Make 'em
chase you! No one fucks with us and our home!" He raised a pistol in the air,
which I realized was a flare gun. "Let's spill some blood tonight!"
His men answered him with a roar of engines and clouds of dust. They
peeled off the road one by one, heading off in different directions, but all
going toward the enemy about to close in on us.
Reaper fired the flare into the sky before tossing the gun and brandishing
one of the biggest handheld assault rifles I'd ever seen.
"Mari, come here." Jandro barked out the Reaper-esque command. "Sit in
front and face me."
Only when I tried to move did I realize I was shaking like a leaf, so he
grabbed and physically moved me to sit in front of him. I sat between his
arms and the handlebars, straddling his thighs and looking directly at his rare,
stern expression.
"Jandro, I'm scared," I confessed, my teeth chattering like I was freezing.
"I know, baby. Just do what I say and you'll be fine, I promise. Take this."
He shoved a pistol in my hand.
"I don't know how to use it!"
"Point it at a bad guy and pull the trigger." In his other hand, he cocked an
assault rifle of his own. "Tell me when you're out of ammo. And whatever
you do, do not put your hands on my back. I'm shielding you, do you
understand?"
"But that leaves you exposed!"
"Exactly. I'm going to draw them away from the gate so the others can
pick them off." He cupped my face and kissed me too quickly for either of us
to enjoy it. "We're going to make it through this, trust me."
"Jandro," my hands shook so hard, I was in serious danger of dropping
my gun, "I can’t—“
"You can. Hold on, we've gotta move."
Everyone else was gone. Only we were left between the two lines of
hostile bikers converging in on us. Jandro weaved his bike in a wide, lazy
figure-eight pattern.
"Keep your arms tucked in and hold tight onto my shirt," he instructed.
"I'm gonna zig-zag like hell. Only point your gun when you have a clear shot.
Got it?"
I nodded, despite feeling nowhere near like I had it.
"Jandro..."
"I know, I know. Trust me."
The roars of at least twenty bikes filled my ears. I could make out their
faces now—hard, angry, and ready to kill.
I only hoped the Steel Demons were more ready.
Jandro looped the bike around back the way we came and accelerated
hard. Our enemies picked up speed to give chase.
"Tuck in! Stay close!" Jandro yelled.
I curled into him just as his rifle hand pulled away to point behind him.
Seconds later came the rat-tat-tat-tat-tat of his rapid firing.
The air grew thick with dust kicked up from all the bikes. My eyes burned
and I thought I might fall at any moment with Jandro weaving back and forth
at such high speed.
He kept looking back to shoot behind us while I clung to him with my
tiny silver weapon in my hand.
"Watch out!" I screamed.
One of the riders broke off from his pack and was coming straight for us.
We were going to collide head-on, but Jandro was dealing with the dozen or
so chasers on our tail.
I shakily aimed my gun and waited. The biker smiled cruelly and let go of
his handlebars to aim his shotgun with both hands.
Somehow, I fired first.
"Fuck!" He clutched at his side. I barely grazed him, but it was enough to
surprise him and throw his balance to send him tumbling off of his bike.
Jandro maneuvered us out of the way at the last second.
"Nice, Mari!" he praised.
Unseating one of their riders seemed to piss off our chasers even more.
They returned Jandro's fire even more rapidly. Bullets whizzed by us and
made plink sounds as they hit the frame of his bike.
"Ah!" Jandro's torso jolted forward, his face a grimace of pain and his
knuckles white on the grips.
I touched his shoulder, my palm coming away red and sticky. "You're
hit!" I cried.
"Keep your hands in front!" he bellowed.
"You're bleeding a lot!"
"Up ahead, WATCH OUT!"
 I looked behind me, my arm already extended with the pistol. This time I
hit the rider coming at us right in the torso. He slumped over his bike, which
careened into a cluster of sharp boulders. Bodies and abandoned bikes
already began piling up.
Bodies, fuck!
I tried to scan the faces of men strewn out among the landscape, but we
were moving too fast. Some Demons must have gotten hurt, though. We were
far too outnumbered and I had to save who I could. Jandro's bullet wound
bloodied half of his shirt already but at least he was still riding.
"Jandro, I have to treat the wounded!"
"You're not getting off this bike," he growled, sweat beading on his
forehead. "They'll steal you from us. You're too valuable."
"But your men could be dying!" Oh God, Reaper!
I hadn't seen him since he fired off that flare, which I could only assume
was a distress signal to his men still inside Sheol. But with all the dust, the
bikes, the noise and the chaos, I couldn't make out who was friend or foe.
"Reaper!" I yelled to Jandro. "We've got to find Reaper!"
If I was scared before, I was in a full-blown panicked meltdown now. The
Steel Demons president had to be alive. He didn't even seem worried about
going to battle—if anything, he seemed excited despite the odds not looking
good. But if Jandro was taking shots, surely the others were, too.
"I know babe, but we gotta live through this first—gah!"
Another bullet grazed his arm, creating a surface wound that quickly
pooled blood on his skin. It was his shooting arm, too, which I knew was
becoming fatigued.
Still he raised it again, spraying gunfire behind us to mow down the three
closest riders on our tails.
"Jandro, I need to slow your bleeding," I pleaded. "And we need to find
Reaper, and anyone else who's hurt."
His gaze was sharp, but his breathing was ragged and he could barely
hold himself up. Adrenaline pushed him to keep going but he was losing
blood quickly. Just when it looked like he'd give in to my request, something
caught his eye up ahead of us.
"Hold onto me. We're gonna roll."
"My pack!" I cried just before he pulled me against his torso and lurched
us to one side.
For the briefest moment, I felt nothing but air. Then the hard ground
knocked the wind out of me and the world spun as we went rolling. My
vision kept spinning even as we came to a stop and Jandro pulled us behind a
couple of crashed bikes for cover.
"What...what?" was all I could say.
"They dug potholes," he panted, wincing at the pain. "To catch our front
tires and send us flipping over our handlebars." He forced a grin and held up
his rifle, which had the strap of my medic pack barely hanging onto the end
of the barrel. "Got you this, though."
"You probably just saved your own life then." I grabbed it from him and
quickly pulled out my gauze and tape. "I'll have to look at it later but you
won't bleed out now."
"Shit, shit, hide!"
Jandro shoved me against the makeshift wall of twisted metal, but it was
too late. A rider pulled up, coming to a stop in front of us.
"What's this? A Steel Demon hiding like a little bitch?" the rider taunted,
pointing his weapon at us. "And with a woman," he added, his voice going
higher with interest.
"Take me as a hostage if you want but leave her alone." Jandro raised his
arms.
I stared at him. "Jandro, no!"
"Fucking dumbass. Unless you're hiding a pussy, I have no reason to take
you over her. Besides," he grinned evilly. "We have strict orders to eliminate
your whole club, and take no prisoners. A woman, however—“
 "I'm the vice president," Jandro pointed to his patch. "I'm a valuable
bargaining chip. She's just a used-up piece of ass. You won't get anything out
of her."
"All that's tellin' me is I should shoot you both."
He cocked his gun and raised it to aim. Jandro jumped in front of me.
"Wait, wait!" he protested.
"No..." I grabbed his shoulders and shut my eyes with my forehead
against his back.
The shot rang out and his body jerked.
"No!" I cried, clutching him tighter.
But he was still standing on his own.
"Shadow, you motherfucker!" he yelled.
I peeked open one eye and peered over his shoulder. The biker's limp,
lifeless body hung over his handlebars. Shadow approached from the left side
and grabbed the man's body to haul it off the bike. When the man's head fell
back, a dark, bloody hole decorated his forehead.
"Where the fuck is our backup?" Jandro growled before turning around
and squeezing me tightly against him. "It's okay."
I couldn't reply. I was shaking again. How could he be so calm? He
almost died.
"I don’t know,” Shadow answered his question distractedly while looting
through the dead biker’s pockets.
"Check his cut," Jandro instructed while rubbing my back. "Who are
these shit heads?"
Shadow kicked the body over onto its back, then leaned over to inspect
the patch.
"Razor Wire," he reported.
"Of course. In the pocket of General Tash, I'm assuming," Jandro
grumbled. "How many of them are left? And how many of us?"
"I've taken down five, including this one," Shadow answered. "As for us,
I don't know. It's impossible to see through this dust."
"Reaper!" I remembered now that my own life was safe. "You haven't
seen him anywhere?"
Shadow's dark eye passed over me briefly, the pale one still hidden under
his hair. "No," he answered.
"We've taken about six or seven down," Jandro said. "Mari shot two
herself."
Shadow did not look impressed. "So that's twelve, out of roughly twenty-
five total that I counted. To our eight."
"Ten," Jandro corrected. "You know Hades and Horus had to have gotten
a couple of kills. They're in the fray just like we are."
"I haven't seen them either."
"Uh, guys?"
"Shit," Jandro cursed at the line of bikers, at least eight of them, coming
straight for us on the other side of our cover. "Shadow, give me a full clip."
The large man opened his cut to reach into an inside pocket. It was hard
to tell with him wearing all black, but his shirt was wet and sticky with blood.
"Shadow, did you get hit, too?"
He glanced up, surprise on his face before his eyes flicked over to Jandro.
"You definitely got shot, bro," Jandro confirmed.
"Must just be a graze," Shadow mumbled as he reloaded his weapon. "I
didn't feel an entry point."
"Let me clean that up real quick," I reached into my pack.
"No," Shadow barked. "We've got incoming. There's no time."
"I'll be fast. It'll just slow your bleeding—“
"I said no!" he snarled at me.
My hands froze in shock. Not because he said no, but the way he said it.
The way he looked at me when he said it. He glared at me like an injured
animal backed into a corner, a mixture of intense fear and defensiveness.
"He'll be okay, Mari," Jandro said with a hand on my shoulder. "Duck
behind the bikes and let us handle these fuckers first."
He physically shoved my head down so that I sat on the ground, then he
and Shadow braced their assault rifles on top of the crashed bikes which
served as our cover.
"Back away a bit, Mari. They're gonna return fire."
They started shooting right as I got moving, covering my head the
moment I heard the plink-plink-plink of returned fire ricocheting off of metal.
"Just like shooting wooden ducks at the state fair!" Jandro laughed.
"They're still coming," Shadow said.
"Yeah, fuck! They're going around! Get 'em!" Jandro and Shadow slowly
turned their rifles as the riders came around in a wide circle. Soon they'd be
behind our cover and free to fill our bodies with bullet holes.
The engines grew louder, sounding slightly differently this time
and...coming from a different direction?
I looked toward Sheol where the dust started to clear. It was only a few
hundred yards away, and yet seemed impossibly far. Visibility was
improving though and from inside the gate, I saw what looked like long
ramps placed against the wrought-iron supports. And the strange engine
sound seemed like it was coming from inside the Steel Demons compound.
"Jandro," my voice shook. "Do you hear that?"
"My ears are ringing, babe. I can't hear shit."
Shadow, however, cocked his head toward the direction of the sound.
"I think our backup's finally here."
The sound grew louder. I saw movement inside the gate and my mouth
fell open at a sight I never expected to see.
Motorcycles flying through the air.
EIGHTEEN
 MARIPOSA

O ne after another, riders on dirt bikes drove up the ramps and flew into
the air to join us in battle. Their engines made higher-pitched grinding
sounds, as opposed to the deep rumbles of the road bikes. The dirt bikes were
also much smaller and lightweight. They hit the ground with a small bounce
like a spring and rode on.
Some of the new riders carried guns, others wielded swords or machetes,
but all were armed and ready Steel Demons.
"Fucking finally!" Jandro yelled.
Assuming all of our people were still alive, our numbers were now more
evenly matched.
Reaper. I still had to find him. Or at least see him to know he was okay.
I hovered behind Jandro as he and Shadow kept shooting over our
protective wall of crashed bikes. The returned fire gradually slowed down to
nothing and then they stopped.
"Is it over?" I whispered.
"Don't know yet," Jandro muttered. "God, I wish we had Gunner's eyes
right now."
One of the dirt bike riders emerged from a cloud of dust, a rifle slung
across their back as they stopped in front of us.
"You got my boots and jacket all dirty, bitch!" a feminine voice snarled
from inside the helmet.
"What?"
The dark visor flipped up to reveal familiar green eyes, the corners
crinkled up from her cheeky grin.
"Noelle!" I screeched, on the verge of tears. "I didn't know you, uh—“
"Could ride and shoot? I'm the president's sister, dummy. Come here."
She lowered her kickstand and hopped off, arms open for my bone-
crushing hug as I ran up to her.
"I'm so fucking happy to see you," I whispered against the side of her
helmet.
"Same here, Mari. You look good dolled up in my shit." She pulled back
from my hug, still smiling. "Speaking of my punk ass brother, where is he?"
"I don't know." The worry creeped back into my voice, taking over my
relief. "These guys haven't seen him either."
"Is it clear out there, Noelle?" Jandro addressed her for the first time.
"No Razor Wire on wheels left. Some might be hiding or trapped under
fallen bikes. I say we look for our people but proceed with caution."
"I thought I was VP?" Jandro teased, grinning at her.
"Tell 'em it was your idea. Y'all have been doing that for hundreds of
years already," she joked back. "Mari, want to ride with me?"
"No, she stays with us. She’s—“
"I can protect her, Jandro," Noelle rolled her eyes. "You guys got
wheels?"
"Yeah, somewhere around here."
"Find 'em then meet us back inside the gate." Noelle threw a leg over her
bike and looked at me. "I'm guessing you're going to have a few patients once
we get everyone in."
I nodded, climbing on behind her and holding onto her waist. "If anyone
has stretchers or long carts we can pull people in, we might need them for
any leg wounds or head injuries."
 "Got it." She kicked off the ground and off we went. "A couple guys have
pickup trucks, we can put people in the truck beds. Anything else we should
prepare for?"
"I'll just need extra hands," I said. "To apply pressure to wounds, to hand
me tools if I need to do surgery. I won't know for sure until I see what
injuries people have."
"You've got me, girl," Noelle patted my hand on her stomach. "I'll rally
some other help, too. Don't you worry."
"Thank you," I sighed. "God, it's so good to see you."
"You mean you weren't in heaven surrounded by dick all day?" she
laughed.
"That's not exactly what I would call it."
We passed by two other dirt bike riders and Noelle yelled at them to get
pickup trucks.
The dust was now settling but night was falling. Noelle turned her
headlight on as we maneuvered through bodies and debris.
"There's Big G!" I pointed and Noelle pulled straight up to him.
He got shot in the calf and would definitely need to be carried home, but
thankfully he managed to get some clothes on at some point. I wrapped gauze
around his wound, gave him a pill for pain and told him to sit tight. The
trucks would be coming soon and he just had to wave them down.
"Poor Tessa," Noelle muttered as we drove away. "She's about to deal
with four children instead of three."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Big G turns into a big toddler when he gets a cold. With a gunshot
wound? Poor Tess is gonna be run ragged taking care of his ass."
"We'll help her," I affirmed with a squeeze around Noelle's waist. "I've
been dying to see her and listen to her belly again."
"Oh, she'll be thrilled to see you."
We found a couple more Demons with fairly serious but not life-
threatening injuries. I patched them up as well as I could, told them help was
on the way, and moved on. But still no signs of Reaper.
When Noelle drove slowly past a big pile-up of motorcycles, I thought I
saw movement inside.
"Wait!" I told her. "I think someone's trapped."
She parked her bike and cocked her gun, grabbing my arm as I hopped
off. "Stay behind me. It could be one of the other guys."
I nodded, letting her approach the pile of metal with her gun drawn.
"Anyone in there?" she called.
"Help! I'm stuck!" a voice called out.
Noelle looked over her shoulder at me. "Who's that? I don't recognize the
voice."
"I don't either."
“What MC are you with?” she yelled, raising her weapon again.
"Steel Demons! I was their prisoner. I, ah, gave them information..."
"Oh shit," I realized. "It's the guard from the outpost! We've got to get
him out."
I ran toward the pile of metal. Noelle set her gun down and followed me.
"What's your name?" I asked the guard.
"Larkan," he answered, followed by a groan of pain.
"We're getting you out, Larkan. Can you tell me where you're pinned?
Arms, legs, torso?"
"My shoulder feels fucked," he grimaced. "I kinda feel like I'm holding an
entire bike on the back of my shoulders. If I move, it'll crush me completely."
"I can see you," Noelle said, peering through gaps in the pile-up. She
looked at me. "How strong are you, Mari?"
"Uh, not strong enough to move a whole bike myself."
She stood up, stuck her fingers into her mouth to let out a sharp whistle,
then waved at her fellow dirt bike riders in the distance. "Hey! We could use
some muscle over here!"
 A team of four came over, and with careful maneuvering and Larkan
talking us through, they were able to lift the bike off of him.
"Don't move," I warned the facedown man with his forearms braced on
the ground.
He wore no cut, and his shirt was bloody, covered in dirt and ripped to
shreds. It looked like he went skidding with the bike when it went down.
"Your shoulder's dislocated," I observed. "Your other one looks fine, but I
have to pop this one back into place. This is going to hurt, okay?"
"Okay," he panted.
"On three. One, two—"
"Ahhh, fuck!"
"Sorry," I told him. "It's better when you're not bracing yourself for it.
You can move now, but slowly. Wiggle your toes, fingers, ankles, wrists.
Tell me if anything hurts."
Larkan did as I said, checking every major joint gently for any breaks.
“Everything hurts but I think I'm okay." He flipped over onto his back,
making eye contact with Noelle and I for the first time, and I think we were
both taken by surprise.
Even while covered in sand and blood, road rash all over his skin and his
shirt hanging off of him in tatters, he was cute. Like, really cute.
His rich brown hair was a few shades lighter than Reaper's, with eyes
almost as crystal-blue as Gunner's. His nose was a little crooked in an
endearing way and his smile was pained, but heartfelt.
And it shone straight at Noelle.
"You two just saved my life," he panted.
"That was all her," Noelle waved her hand in my direction, but a nervous
smile played at her lips.
I dug through my pack to let them have a small moment, smiling to
myself before producing a pill bottle.
"Here, take one of these for the pain. We'll have to clean you up when we
get everyone inside the compound. Can you walk?"
"I think so."
"Here," Noelle held an arm out. "Hold onto me."
I swore I saw literal sparks fly when he touched her arm, using it for
leverage to pull himself to his feet.
"You're gonna make me lose my man card," he joked, seemingly unable
to keep his eyes away from Noelle.
"Your dick still works, doesn't it?" Noelle's mouth dropped open and she
slapped a hand over it as if someone else made her say that. "Oh my God,
that's so inappropriate! I don't even know you! I'm sorry, the president's my
brother and I just—“
"It's all right," Larkan seemed far more amused than offended. "And yes,
it does still work. Guess I'll hold onto that man card after all."
Redder than her hair color, Noelle hid her face behind her hands when
one of the dirt bike riders waved at us from a nearby crash site.
"Hey! Has anyone seen Reaper?" he called.
"No, why? What did you find?" I rushed over, Noelle's blossoming
romance now the farthest thing from my mind.
"Here's his bike," he motioned. "And it's all fucked up."
No. Please, no.
Fucked up was an understatement. The bike looked like a giant tried to
fold it in half. Reaper’s personal items were strewn out all over the ground,
including the gavel which marked his symbol as a leader.
I picked it up slowly, my fingers digging into the grooves of the wood.
"But his body isn't here?" I asked no one in particular.
"No. I think we got everybody except him. There are a bunch of un-ID'd
bodies, though—“
"Find him," I demanded.
I didn't know who I was talking to. I wasn't even in a position to give
anyone orders. But Reaper, dead or alive, had to be found. My body felt like
it was going to burst from the inside out without knowing. But if he was one
of those mangled, twisted bodies buried under a pile of metal, would I be able
to handle that knowledge?
"Any sign of Hades?" I asked the dirt bike riders.
One of them pulled off his helmet and I recognized him as Bones, one of
the men dating Heather, Reaper's ex.
"No sign of the pooch, either," he told me apologetically. "But if they're
out there, we'll find both of them."
I nodded, at a loss for any more words when a hand squeezed my
shoulder from behind.
"My brother's like a cockroach," Noelle told me. "Impossible to kill. He's
on the wanted lists for at least five surrounding territories. Don't worry, Mari.
He'll turn up."
"I hope you're right," I told her.
She gave my shoulder another affectionate squeeze before rubbing the top
of my back. "Come on, medic. We've got a long night ahead of us."
She was right. I had to put aside my worries for the man I desperately
didn't want to lose. I had to do my job, to focus on the ones who needed me
right then and there.
NINETEEN
 MARIPOSA

T he chaos of the battle’s aftermath continued inside the Steel Demons'

gates but this time, I was in my element.
Everyone who needed immediate medical attention piled into the
clubhouse conference room, where the lights were brightest and people could
sit on the tables or chairs as they waited for me.
Those who had stayed home brought water and light snacks to those of us
who'd been out in the field. I told Noelle to grab bandages, antibacterial soap,
and rubbing alcohol, and clean up people with the minor injuries like road
rash. Others helped by keeping pressure on more serious wounds.
Meanwhile, I worked from most severe injuries to least. For those in the most
pain, I stuck them with local anesthesia and moved on to do something else
while waiting for it to kick in. Tessa waddled in just as Big G let out a loud
whimper from my syringe.
"Tessie!" he cried out when he saw her. "Baby!"
"Hey, Tess," I gave her a tight smile as I wiped down the skin
surrounding the bullet wound. "I'd hug you, but you know..."
She laughed at the sight of my scrubs, already covered with blood even
though I quickly changed them from the road. "I'll stay out of your way. We'll
reunite later, but I just wanted to see you." She rubbed her husband's back.
"And you, I guess."
 "Baby, stay with me?" he begged.
"You probably shouldn't stay in here," I warned her. "There are a lot of
open wounds here and potential breeding grounds for infection. If you come
in contact with anything, it could pose a risk to the baby."
"She's my wife!" Big G yelled. "She stays with me, medic."
"God, shut up," Tessa smacked him. "Don't yell at Mari. She knows more
than you." Her eyes lifted to me with a protective hand on her belly. "I'll be in
the kitchen, helping with food."
"Tell them lots of vegetables," I said to her. "Especially dark, leafy
greens. And hearty soups with bone broth. This lot is going to be out of
commission for a while and they'll need good food to recover."
"I'm so glad our boys are in your care," Tessa smiled as she turned to
leave. "It's good to have you back, Mari."
I extracted the bullet from Big G's calf and stitched him up without much
incident. He apparently didn't have much to say to me without someone else
paying attention. I gave him his recovery instructions, then moved on to
Jandro who I anesthetized earlier.
"How you holding up?" he asked, leaning over the conference table with
his back to me so I could reach his shoulder.
"Better than all of you," I snapped on a pair of fresh gloves and carefully
examined his wound.
"We'd be so fucked if it weren't for you," he murmured.
"I dunno. I have a feeling this isn't the first time you've all been in a
gunfight."
"Far from it. See that scar on my other shoulder?"
I shined my light on it briefly. "Jesus. The surgeon carved you up."
"Yeah. We used to pile the injured into a truck, drive thirty minutes north
to a clinic and pray it would still be open. Then had to threaten the medics at
gunpoint to treat us."
"Jesus," I muttered again, not feeling particularly chatty as I worked.
 "We paid them in food and basic supplies. But yeah, we've lost a few
good Demons over the years. It's part of MC life, but Reaper's been
determined to have our own medic. And holy fuck I'm glad we have you,
Mariposita."
The sentiment was sweet but my work mindset refused to break. I had so
much more to do. Flirting with him could wait, but the mention of Reaper's
name brought a fresh ache in my chest.
"Has anyone seen him yet?"
"They're out searching right now." He reached over with his good arm to
touch my knee. "Not just among the bodies. He might've chased one down
that was trying to get away."
"But they found his bike in the rubble."
"He could've hopped on another one." Jandro gave my knee a gentle
squeeze. "He'll come back, Mari."
I extracted the metal slug from his shoulder and got to work on his
sutures in silence. Focusing on my task was the only thing that kept my hands
steady and my heartbeat calm. Every minute that passed without Reaper's
presence in his own domain just felt wrong. I saw the worry on everyone
else's faces, too. We all wanted to believe he'd come swaggering back
through that door, Hades trotting at his side, but what if he didn't? What was
this club without its leader?
His gavel felt like a brick in my pocket. I probably wasn't supposed to
have it, but it gave me an odd sense of comfort. Like he was still near me.
"How long you gonna be at it?" Jandro asked, pulling me out of my
autopilot suturing.
"As long as it takes," I sighed. "Probably all night."
"I'll bring you coffee." His hand never left my knee and now slid up my
thigh slightly.
"Thanks."
A twinge on my right side suddenly twisted and cramped. I'd felt some
sensation there since getting back but it started getting more intense. My gut,
or something within me, told me it had to do with Shadow.
"Has Shadow had his injury looked at?" I asked Jandro.
"He won't let anyone come near him," he sighed. "He gets like this
sometimes, like a feral animal. I'll talk him into letting you see him, though."
"Thanks." I snipped the end of my thread after tying it off and wiped the
surrounding skin clean one more time. "I don't think he had but a bad graze
but it could get serious if left untreated."
"Leave it to me." He turned toward me, hand still on my thigh, then
leaned in like he was going to kiss me.
The conference room door crashing open made me jerk away, partially
relieved and disappointed at the interruption.
The search party had returned. Bones and Dallas walked in, grim
expressions on their faces as they looked at Jandro.
"What is it?" he asked.
"No sign of Reaper among the bodies. Or Hades," Bones added with a
glance toward me.
"So he's still out there," Jandro said confidently. "We'll search out farther
in the morning."
Dallas glanced up nervously. "The thing is, some of the crash sites leaked
oil and caught fire. When we put them out, the bodies were impossible to
identify."
"Then go by the patch on the cut," Jandro snapped. "Did any of them
have an SDMC patch?"
Bones shook his head. "There are three corpses so badly damaged, we
can't ID them by anything. Their clothes literally burned away."
The whole room fell silent. As the information sank into everyone's mind,
the worst part was that it told us absolutely nothing. Reaper could be one of
those bodies, or he might not be.
"None of those are him," Jandro decided, raising his voice and turning
around to look sternly at everyone. "If you didn't find a dog corpse nearby,
none of those bodies are Reaper's. Hades never would've left his side."
Bones cleared his throat. "With all due respect," he said hesitantly, "while
he's not here, club law says we're to look to you in the interim."
"He'll be here. It's only been a few hours. We don't need to catastrophize
this yet."
"Jandro," I whispered.
He looked at me, then down at the gavel I held out in my hands.
"Where did you get that?" he asked.
"It was near his bike. It looked like a hard crash, all his personal stuff was
out everywhere."
He closed my fingers over the small, wooden hammer, then gently pushed
my hand back toward my body.
"When he shows up, you can give it to him," he smiled. "He'll love that.
You two," he snapped to the two men who just walked in. "And everyone
else who's not injured. Start cleaning up first thing in the morning. Haul the
bikes to my shop. Pick up personal items and supplies and sort them out to
their rightful places. We're not treating Reaper like he's dead until we have
certifiable proof."
Everyone returned to their tasks with a low murmur, myself included. I
peeled off my gloves and lathered up my hands with antibacterial soap as
Jandro smacked a kiss on my cheek.
"Thanks, Doc," he nuzzled against my face for a moment. "Now, coffee."
I nodded and moved on to my next patient. What else could I do?
Noelle seemed to be cleaning up Larkan's road rash well enough, so I
handed her cold packs for his shoulder and left them to continue making their
googly eyes at each other.
The night wore on. Jandro brought me at least three cups of coffee while I
wrapped sprained ankles, checked for head injuries, changed bandages, and
so on. My brain was wired but my body wanted to drop from exhaustion.
And that was with everyone stepping up to help. I'd have to express my
gratitude one day, when I wasn't so tired.
Every so often I looked to the door. My heart jumped into my throat
whenever someone came through, but it was never him.
"Mari," Noelle placed a gentle hand on my shoulder when I dropped into
a chair, peeling off what felt like my hundredth pair of gloves. "You need to
rest. I'm bringing Larkan back home to keep an eye on his injuries. You
coming with us?"
I shook my head. "Jandro's still trying to talk Shadow into letting me see
him. And if—when Reaper comes in, what if he needs attention right away? I
should stay here."
"You're not superhuman, Mari. You're about to crash any second."
The moment she said that, I felt like all my systems were shutting down.
"Maybe, but I need to stay here. I could take a nap or something."
"I'll clear off the couch and get you a blanket." She left my side, shooing
people out of her way.
I paused for a moment to look around the room. The chaos had died down
and most people left with their loved ones to return home. For the first time
in hours, I didn't have anything immediately to do. And nothing to distract me
from the fact that Reaper still wasn't here.
"Come here, girl," Noelle unfolded a large comforter and pointed to the
couch. "Lay down."
I did as she commanded, dead on my feet as I stumbled over.
"Poor thing," Noelle mumbled as she brought the blanket over me. "We
gotta take care of our little medic, now that she's caring for all of us."
"We are. At least I am." The voice sounded like Jandro but I couldn't be
sure. My eyelids were too heavy. The blanket and couch too warm and
comfortable.
And I fell into a restless sleep before I knew it. But even during sleep, the
fear of never seeing Reaper again haunted me.
TWENTY
 MARIPOSA

"R eaper...Reaper!"
"He's not here, honey. I'm sorry."
My eyes snapped open to the familiar green eyes looking at me, but they
were the wrong ones. Noelle's red bangs fell across her forehead, her brow
pinched tight with concern.
"What do you mean?" I blinked, rubbing my eyes. "Where is he? How
long have I been out?"
I swore he was here. I felt his hands on me—strong, possessive, and full
of his want. I heard him calling me sugar into my ear. But none of it was
real?
"You've been out a couple hours. It's almost dawn." Noelle squeezed my
hand.
"And he hasn't come back?"
She shook her head slowly. "I'm getting worried, Mari."
That scared me more than anything. The unshakeable president's sister,
who knew him better than anyone, was losing hope.
I sat up and pulled her into a hug. She curled up under the blanket next to
me and rubbed my back. She didn't cry. Even now she was trying to be
strong.
"Hey, girls."
 Jandro came over, sounding exhausted. He picked something up from the
couch cushion so he could sit next to me. I saw it was the gavel, which must
have fallen out of my pocket as I slept.
"You should be holding that," Noelle said in a small voice.
"No." Jandro placed it back in my lap. "I meant what I said. He's still
president until we have proof of otherwise."
"But you're—"
"I'm VP whether he's here or not. I'll act in his stead when he's not and
carry out his word when he is. But until we have confirmation that the Steel
Demons need a new president, I'm not the one meant to hold the gavel."
"Fuck no, you're not."
All three of our heads snapped to the door, where the man in question
strode through with a cocky smirk like he owned the place.
"Reaper!" we all cried out.
"And Hades?" I asked, the panic refusing to subside.
The furry beast ran right up to me, attacking me with a strong, four-
limbed hug and tons of puppy licks. I hugged him back, the laughter finally
escaping me, but it was the sight of his master I couldn't believe.
"Reaper..." I ran to him, my medic's eye taking in the dried blood on his
clothes, the tatters of his shirt from road rash.
"What happened?" The questions flew out of my mouth in rapid fire
succession as my hands inspected him everywhere. "Where did you go? Did
you hit your head? Is anything broken?"
"Mari, stop." He took hold of my wrists, pinning me with that green-eyed
stare I saw moments ago in my dreams. "I'm okay. Most of this blood isn't
mine." His road-rashed palm came to my face, his thumb stroking my cheek
gently as his eyes burned with relief, and maybe a touch of regret.
"Forgive me, sugar?"
I pressed my hands against his on my face, not caring about blood or
germs, just leaning into the need of his rough touch on me.
 "Forgive me?" I whispered. "Again?"
The corner of his mouth ticked up. "Truce."
Like air out of a balloon, all of the fears and anxieties over the past day
left me all at once. I went from feeling like my heart would explode with
worry to feeling as light as air.
"Fuck." Reaper pulled me in close, one arm around my waist, the other
wound in my hair. "I was so worried about you. I knew Jandro would keep
you safe but still, if I lost you—“
He cut off his own thought with a hard kiss, rough and desperate like he
needed my mouth to breathe. I grabbed the torn edges of his shirt to deepen it
even more, pushing my tongue into his mouth. His moan was full of longing
as his fist curled into the fabric at my waist.
"Well, seems like you two are on better terms since you left," Noelle
laughed.
"We weren't talking again right before this," Reaper chuckled, still
gripping my hair and staring at me.
"Jesus, Reap," Noelle rolled her eyes. "Mari is a saint to deal with you."
"She is," he sighed, resting his forehead on mine. "I'm not the easiest
person to get along with. But I want this, sugar. I'll tell you right now, in front
of my sister and the guy who is basically my brother," his eyes flicked up
toward Jandro, "in front of my family. I want you to be my woman. Whatever
that entails, we'll figure it out. But I swear to you, I'm not chasing tail. I'm not
gonna have a wandering eye. I'm done with that. I want you, Mariposa."
For a man like Reaper, that was probably the biggest declaration of
romance I would get. And coming from him, it was perfect. I believed every
word. My first instinct was to jump for joy and confess how much I wanted
him, too. How this dull ache in my chest spread throughout my bones every
day we didn't speak. That I daydreamed about his pretty eyes, cocky grin, and
the ways he pleased me in bed while riding on the back of Jandro's bike.
Speaking of Jandro, he was being extremely quiet during this whole
reunion. I knew we passed the line of platonic friendship at some point, and
we'd have to address that. I also wanted to ensure history didn't repeat itself
again in my relationship with Reaper.
He squeezed my arms gently. "Please say something."
I looked up at him, releasing the edges of his shirt to caress his neck.
"I want you, too," I confessed. "But to make this work, I think we need to
hash some things out. We need to make some ground rules on what's okay
and not okay, then make sure we stick by them."
"I agree." His fingers curled around mine as he turned his head to kiss my
palm. "There's a lot I haven't told you, and that's my fault. I forget that other
people didn't grow up in the same culture as Noelle and me." He smiled as he
gently lowered my hand. "But hopefully that can wait until Hades and I have
a bit of time to recover?"
"I suppose," I sighed jokingly, kissing him one more time before stepping
away. "If you're not hurt, you're definitely dehydrated."
"Yeah." Reaper eased himself down on the couch, wincing slightly. "We
walked back, about thirteen miles by my estimate."
"From where?" Jandro asked, already filling a bowl of water for Hades.
"And why on foot?"
"I crashed into a guy who was trying to knock Shadow off of his bike,"
Reaper accepted water from Noelle, gulping deeply. "We both got thrown off
and went tumbling. Lost our weapons so came down to using fists."
"He's probably one of the un-ID'd bodies out there," Jandro muttered.
"Oh yeah. His lower jaw wasn't attached anymore when I was done."
Noelle jabbed me with her elbow at my open-mouthed stare. "Get used to
it, girl."
"One of his buddies came at me shooting," Reaper continued after more
gulps of water. "I ducked behind a crash site, saw one of their own bikes still
ridable, so I got on and he gave chase. Next thing I know, Sheol is nowhere
in sight."
 "Hades was with you the whole time?" The pup had finished drinking his
own water and now laid his head in my lap.
"Yeah, poor boy got run ragged. Didn't you?" Reaper stroked his head.
"You've never ran like that, huh?" The SDMC leader looked up at us with
pride. "He took down two riders himself but the guy on my tail, he was damn
slippery."
"Mari took down a couple, too," Jandro cocked his head in my direction.
"Really now?" Reaper's eyes sparkled with glee. "I knew you weren't all
sugar and sweetness."
"She needs to work on her aim," Jandro said, then laughed at my glare.
"What? It's true! Your shots were a little wide."
"I'll be happy to never shoot a man again," I grumbled. "Yes, they
attacked us, but I killed someone. That's a big deal to me."
"You'll get used to that, too," Noelle said. "'Cause it'll keep happening.
And you'll need to know how to defend yourself."
"We'll teach you the basics," Reaper added. "Then Gunner can teach you
fancy shit when he's back."
"He's already teaching me how to swim," I said. "I was able to float on
my back at the pool."
"I know," Reaper said with a tone I couldn't place. "I saw you two
together."
"I bet he's thrilled that Horus took down a Razor Wire, too," Jandro
grinned. "He's probably celebrating right now."
"What?" I knitted my brow.
"The bond," Reaper reminded me. "With a kill that big, Gunner definitely
would've felt his divebomb and seen the whole thing from the bird's-eye
view."
"Anyway," Noelle waved her hand to catch the guys' attention. "How the
hell did you end up walking here?"
"Oh, the gas tank was running on empty. I already figured I wouldn't be
able to ride it back, so I decided to crash it."
"You what?" I demanded.
"I know my way around bikes, sugar," Reaper placated me. "I wasn't in
danger but the dude chasing did not expect it, that's for sure. I let him crash
into me, he flipped over his handlebars and cracked his skull open. I think
Hades ate some of his brains."
I looked at the adorable, doe-eyed dog in my lap. "Hades, did you?"
He licked his lips and grinned at me. Everyone laughed at my horrified
expression.
"Have I heard it all yet?" I groaned, lowering my forehead to my palm.
"Not even close." Reaper threw an arm around my shoulders and kissed
my temple. "Welcome to life as an outlaw, sugar."
TWENTY-ONE
 MARIPOSA

N oelle and Jandro got Reaper and Hades well fed and hydrated. I
cleaned Reaper's minor road rash, which turned out to be the most
mild case of anyone I saw that day.
"How did everyone else fare?" he asked me as Hades snored by our feet.
"Some gunshot wounds, sprained ankles and dislocated shoulders, but
nothing imminently life-threatening."
"Good," he sighed, visibly relieved as he leaned back on the couch. "And
good thing you were here." He placed a hand on my thigh, looking at me
affectionately. "You must be exhausted, sugar."
"I took a nap for a little bit. I sure as hell didn't go walking for miles all
night."
"Yeah, a day with my feet up sounds great." A twinkle flashed in his eye
as he smiled deviously at me. "I owe you a bath that's actually relaxing."
"That sounds amazing," I rested my chin on his shoulder. "I think I'll take
you up on that."
"What are we waiting for?" His voice already grew husky, fingers
kneading the flesh of my leg. Chances were we wouldn't be making it to the
bathtub.
Jandro knocked on the conference room door and walked in just as we got
to our feet.
 "Shadow's on the patio by the pool," he said. "He kind of retreats to quiet
places when there's a lot of commotion, but I think I convinced him you're
not going to cut his dick off, or whatever he's afraid of."
"Oh, okay." I had forgotten about him for a moment after being so
relieved that Reaper came back. I squeezed the president's hand and looked
up at him. "I'll be quick."
"I'll get the bath started." He leaned down for a kiss, sensual and
lingering. "Come to my room and meet me in the en suite." He squeezed my
waist and whispered possessively, “You're not staying in the guest room
anymore."
I smiled and gave him a gentle push to the door. "Go. Don't have too
much fun without me."
"Never." He stole one last kiss before heading out into the hallway, Hades
right on his heels.
Which left me and Jandro alone.
"I'm fucking glad he's back," he said with a sigh. "Honestly, I don't want
the responsibility of being president. He's got his flaws but he's a damn good
leader."
"I'm glad, too," I said softly, unsure what else to say. What happened
now? Was it going to be awkward between us? Were we just going to pretend
we never kissed and never spent a night together?
"I'm happy for you, Mari," he added with a tight smile. "I'm glad you two
are going to work it out."
"Jandro—“
"Do you need anything? Shadow knows you're coming. If you're good, I
have a bunch of wrecked bikes I need to comb through in the shop."
"Okay. Um, yeah." I returned the tight smile. "I won't keep you.
Remember to get some rest. I'll look at your sutures later."
"All right. See you, Mari." He said it warmly but walked off like he
couldn't wait to get out of there. And with no kiss or hug, or any contact.
 I shook my head at myself as I gathered up some fresh gloves and
supplies. You just got back with Reaper. Jandro was a temporary distraction,
but he's a friend.
It took a moment for me to find Shadow on the patio. He sat on a couch
tucked back in a dark corner, nursing a large bottle of liquor.
"Good morning, Shadow," I greeted as I approached him. The sun had
just risen over the far end of the pool and looked spectacular.
He didn't return the greeting this time, just watched me warily as he took
a swig from his bottle.
"I understand you're not comfortable with women or people in general," I
said as I snapped on my gloves. "So I'll make this quick. Sound good?"
Again, no answer. His eyes slid away from me with a wordless grunt
which I took to indicate consent.
I pulled a chair over to sit in front of him, while I laid my tools out on the
couch next to him. His eyes widened and he hitched in a breath at the sight of
my scalpels.
"I'm going to cut away your shirt," I explained, picking up my scissors. "I
need you to not move so as to not agitate the wound, okay?"
Another non-reply followed by a swig of the bottle. I really wished he
wouldn't. Alcohol thinned the blood and made bleeding worse, but I wasn't
here to lecture him about his coping methods. I picked up the scissors and
began cutting up the side of his shirt.
He or Jandro already applied pressure to the wound and soaked up a lot of
the blood. The graze cut a long gash between his ribs and his hip. Thankfully,
it wasn't very deep. The bleeding had slowed and begun to congeal.
I folded back the two sides of his now-cut shirt to access the wound
easily. Rummaging through my stuff, my heart sank when I realized I ran out
of rubbing alcohol. Fortunately, being a medic in a war zone taught me there
were other methods of sterilizing.
"Can I borrow that?" I pointed to Shadow's liquor bottle, which he
seemed very reluctant to part with. "I'm out of rubbing alcohol and I need to
sterilize your wound."
He scowled at me but passed the bottle over. I hesitated as I held it over
his wound. "This is going to hurt like a motherfucker." He looked off toward
the pool, elbow propped on the arm of the couch and his chin in his hand, just
waiting for this ordeal to be over with.
You and me both, buddy.
His expression didn't change when I poured the alcohol over his skin.
Even the most stoic man would have hissed or grit his teeth or something, but
Shadow gave no reaction. He only accepted his bottle back when I held it out
to him.
"Stitching you up now," I said, preparing the sutures. "This might hurt,
too. I'm sorry, I ran out of local anesthesia."
I got my usual response and got down to work. While the wound was
shallow, it extended nearly eight inches long, wrapping around his waist from
nearly his stomach to his back. It had to hurt like a bitch but he acted like he
didn't even notice it. Frankly, he looked bored.
My hands were on autopilot pulling the surgical thread in and out of his
skin, which allowed my eyes to wander slightly across his massive body. He
had Jandro's beefcake muscles on a frame taller than Gunner. More pale,
faded scars like the ones I saw on his arms crisscrossed up the exposed side
of his body, disappearing under the remains of his shirt folded over his chest.
There was no way all of this could be self-harm, though they were clearly
shallow cuts made by a sharp implement. Which likely explained why he
looked nervous at the sight of my scalpel.
His broad chest rose and fell with deep, even breaths as I worked. The
movement was calming, if even hypnotic. If he wasn't so damn intimidating,
he'd probably make a great cuddler.
"Almost done here," I said with a handful of stitches left to go. "Then I'll
be out of your hair."
 Another grunt, another swig of liquor.
"And...done." I snipped the end of my thread. "Just let me put some
ointment on this." I unscrewed a tube of Neosporin and dabbed it over the
closed wound with a finger. "Come see me if this still looks really red in a
couple of days, if you have any fever or weakness, or it's oozing stuff. It's
been exposed for a while so your chances of infection are slightly higher than
the other guys."
I'd bet my entire medical career he wouldn't willingly come see me, but I
still found it important to perform my due diligence.
"I'll give Jandro some of this ointment for both of you to use. Just apply it
a couple times a day until it's fully closed." I peeled off my gloves and began
cleaning up. "Any questions?"
None, naturally, but it didn't hurt to ask.
"Okay." I stood from the chair and gathered up my supplies. "Let me
know if you need anything else."
The absolute last thing I expected was his arm to shoot out and wrap
around my waist.
“Whoa, Shadow! What?"
He pulled me across his lap, taking away my balance so I had no choice
but to splay across his chest. I braced my hands on his shoulders, utterly
bewildered as I stared at him.
"Shadow, what are you—”
My answer came as I heard his pants unbutton and unzip just behind my
back. Before I could react, he yanked my scrub pants down, peeling them off
my feet, and pulled my bare leg over to straddle him. Naked from the waist
down, my bare skin touched his.
It happened so fast and out of nowhere, I could only gape at him. He
didn't speak a word or look me directly in the eyes, not even as he reached
behind my ass to stroke himself to full hardness. What the fuck is happening?
A million questions poured rapidly through my mind as Shadow touched
himself almost like I wasn't even there. His hand left my waist, just limp at
his side. He seemed so detached, even transactional about this.
I only snapped out of my stupor when I felt his hard cock flex against my
ass. His hand returned to my waist only to lift me up so he could—
"Shadow, stop!" I pressed my hands to his biceps. "Wait."
He froze, looking at me directly for the first time. I couldn't read his
expression, whether it was angry or confused. He just looked...blank. I said
stop, so he did.
But what the ever-loving fuck? Where did this come from? And what
would he do if I tried to get away?
His grip on my waist was tight, his strong fingers digging into my skin.
Jandro trusted both of us enough to leave us alone—did he ever think this
would be happening? He wouldn’t let me come alone if he considered
Shadow a risk to my safety, would he?
Because even though we were on the same team, Shadow was one big,
intimidating motherfucker, and he only ever said two words to me in the
weeks I’d been with the club. A memory flashed of him tying me up the first
time the Steel Demons took me. He bound me tightly, doing as he was
ordered by Reaper, but no one was ordering him now. What would he do to
someone smaller and weaker than him with no one watching?
I didn’t want to think the worst but here I was with my pants down, in the
last situation I expected after Reaper and Gunner assured me their men didn’t
prey on women. The fact of the matter was I didn’t know anything about
Shadow, aside from his strong disdain of women and that he was an
experienced, skilled killer.
In my panicked, utterly confused state of mind, it seemed the best course
of action was to give him what he wanted.
So I raised my hips and reached behind me, feeling for the cock he was
just about to shove into me with nothing leading up to it. No foreplay, no
flirting, not even a word exchanged. And fuck me, it was huge.
 My fingers nearly didn’t touch as they wrapped around the shaft.
Shadow’s hand fell away from my waist, his eyelids softening at the contact
of my hand on him. It seemed he wasn’t bothered about putting in any effort
once he saw that I was about to take the reins.
I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this. Reaper is waiting for me in his
fucking bathtub for fuck’s sake! I screamed in my head.
Shadow’s fists curled at his sides when I swept the crown of his dick
against my entrance. Just that motion squashed any thoughts about running
off. A single swing from one of those fists would send my brain matter all
over the patio. The consequences of this would be grave but no one was
coming to my rescue now, and I just had to get through it.
Lowering myself onto him was a slow, arduous process with his size and
the complete lack of foreplay but I found myself wetter than I expected, given
the circumstances. He was, after all, the first of the four sexiest Demons I
really noticed. Reaper was the first one I saw, but it was Shadow who made
me bump into his coffee table when I came over to serve him beer.
The tall, imposing frame, those tortured, soulful eyes, and all the scars he
tried to keep hidden. He clearly had no idea how magnetizing that was to
some women. To touch him was not only to flirt with danger, but to fall into
it unabashedly. Even now, in this situation, my palm itched to touch the short
beard covering his jaw, to push away the long hair he kept over his face so
he’d look at me with both eyes.
But if I did, would I live to tell about it?
His head tilted back with a soft hiss as his length began disappearing
inside me. I found myself doing the same as he stretched me out from the
inside. The sensation was intense, but not painful. When I began a slow roll
of my hips, my hands splayed out to brace myself for leverage. My fingers
met the bare skin of his abdomen, his cut T-shirt now falling away to the side.
With my knees on the couch cushions on either side of his thighs, I found
a somewhat steady rhythm as I rode him. He never touched me or made a
sound. His eyes flicked up and down, from where our bodies connected, to
where my hands rested on him, to my still fully-clothed torso hovering above
him, but he never met my eye.
He was so…cold. Clinical and detached. Men who paid for whores
showed more enthusiasm than this. That thought process only spiraled back
to the pervasive question of why did he start this?
I tried to act the same way he did. Not making a sound, not looking at
him, not doing anything but the bare minimum to get him off so I could end
this and run to Reaper. But I could never treat sex that way, not even like this.
And I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was a fucking specimen of a man.
Beautiful in such a sad, dark way. Massive arms and chiseled shoulders I just
wanted to run my hands across. The Steel Demons skull emblem sat inked on
the left side of his chest, right over his heart. I wanted to trace it with my
fingers like I did with Reaper’s. Or maybe with my tongue.
I became so entranced with all the fine details of his body, I didn’t notice
the moan escaping my mouth until it was too late. For once, he looked up at
my face, surprised. And my face burned red with shame at the realization that
I was enjoying this.
He was hot as hell, with a huge dick that stretched me in ways I didn’t
know were possible. And yes, he was dangerous and a cold-blooded killer,
but he wasn’t forcing me to do anything. I probably had the advantage at this
point to hop off and run for my life, but I didn’t want to.
My hands skimmed up his abs to his chest, splaying open my fingers
wide to feel the heat of his skin, the beat of his heart under that grinning
skull. I rode him even more vigorously, taking the full length of him on every
downstroke and moaning openly each time he filled me.
Still he didn’t say a thing, or move his hands from his sides to touch me. I
had so many questions, so many ways I wanted to test him with small
gestures. How would he react to a kiss? Or if I just grabbed his hands and put
them on me?
 But as much as I enjoyed him, his complete lack of reaction also made me
insecure. This could still end badly for me if I pushed things too far. I just
didn’t know him well enough to take that risk.
So I settled for caressing him, enjoying the view and feel of him as I
rolled my hips back and forth. He let out a sigh as my hands reached his chest
again, then his whole body stiffened with a groan.
A moment later I felt the swelling and spilling of warmth as he released
inside me. He panted as I slowed my movements, and then I felt the first
touch with the tiniest glimpse of intimacy—his fingers brushing against my
knee.
And like that, I felt like a blindfold had been torn away from my eyes.
Fuck.
Fuck!
Oh fuck, what did I just do?
I pressed on his chest with my hands to swing my leg over, wobbling like
a newborn giraffe as I grabbed my pants and made my best attempt to insert
my legs.
Once dressed, I grabbed my supplies and walked away without a word or
even a glance at the man behind me.
TWENTY-TWO
 REAPER

H oly mother of cunt balls, my whole body fucking hurt.

Motorcycle boots were not made for thirteen-mile long walks so
not only were my feet killing me, my knees, hips, and back were feeling
about eighty years old, too. But I didn’t get any fresh bullet holes or road rash
or cactus spines in my dick today, so at least there was an upside.
Hades and I limped home to find Fischlin’s guard on one of my couches,
wearing nothing but one of my pairs of sweatpants and a bag of frozen peas
on his shoulder. To add insult to injury, his feet were also propped up on my
mahogany coffee table I stole from a governor’s vacation home.
“The fuck you doin’ in my house?” I asked.
“He’s with me.”
The answer came from Noelle, who just emerged from the linen closet
with a folded blanket and a pillow.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“I said, he’s with me.” She dropped the blanket and pillow on the couch
next to him, then faced me with her hands on her hips.
Oh hell. I hated when my sister got sassy.
“And what the fuck do you mean by that?”
“You bring home strays, I take care of them. Just the way it’s always
been.”
 “And you gave him my pants?”
“Well, he won’t fit into mine!”
“Hey, hey, it’s all right.” The guy gave an uneasy smile as he stood up,
hands raised in a de-escalating manner. “Reaper, uh, Mr. President, I
appreciate you bringing me along with your club after everything that
happened. I don’t want to impose so if you’d rather not have me in your
house, I can stay somewhere else.”
“No, Larkan, it’s fine,” Noelle insisted. “Reaper’s grumpy as hell on his
best days, so he’s bound to be a little moody after his trek through the
desert.”
“Noelle,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Just…come here a
minute.”
I limped over to my study—Goddamn, I was dying to get off my feet—
and closed the door after my sister followed me in.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, folding my arms.
“What? Nothing.” She matched my posture. “It’s like I said. First Hades,
then Mari, now Larkan. You bring home strays, I give them a home. Same as
always.”
“No,” I shook my head. “This one’s different.”
“What do you mean?” Her voice went a little high on the last word.
“Are you just looking to get laid or is it something more?”
“Reaper!” she growled. “That’s not what this is!”
“Yeah, right. He’s a grown-ass man whose mechanic skills rival Jandro’s
and he’s a sharpshooter. We’re gonna integrate him as a prospect and see
how he does. He doesn’t need to be taken care of. But,” I flashed her a
taunting smile, “he does have a six-pack and pretty eyes, doesn’t he?”
“Fuck you,” she punched my arm. “Why would I set him up on the couch
if I wanted to get laid?”
“Hence the other part of my question. Is it something more?”
“I literally just met the guy! You all kept him prisoner and never bothered
to learn his name as you grilled him for information. Where else would he
go? Maybe I’m just trying to be fucking nice? You know, like I was when
you dragged Mari out here against her will!”
“Whatever. I’m too fucking tired to argue about this.” I scrubbed a hand
down my face with a sigh. “Just don’t get involved with him, Noelle. That’s
an order from your president, not your older brother being protective.”
“Hah!” she scoffed, raising both of her hands. “You are way jumping the
gun, tiger.”
“I mean it,” I growled. “He’s given us good intel, but we still don’t know
if he’s loyal enough to be a Demon. And we—” I stopped myself, before
choosing to go on with a sigh. “We’ve had a breach of trust among our own.
I’ll fill you in later, but this attack was orchestrated by General Tash. He has,
for all intents and purposes, turned against us and declared war on us, based
on information someone in the club has been feeding him.”
“What?” Her mouth dropped open, for once speechless. “Who would do
that?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “But whoever it is will fucking regret it.”

A HOT BATH was just what I needed. Soaking up to my armpits, I puffed on

a cigar next to the open window and sipped from a glass of my favorite
whiskey. The only thing that would’ve made it better was my sweet little
medic snuggled up against me. She was taking her sweet ass time but maybe
Shadow’s injuries were more extensive that she originally thought.
I puffed and exhaled, closing my eyes to lean my head back against the
cool tile. I couldn’t pussyfoot around it this time. She had to know not only
my intentions, but the reasoning behind them. Best case scenario, she’d
embrace it and be thrilled. Worst case, it would just be me and her.
And I was honestly fine with that. If she wanted me to be her only man,
I’d do everything in my power to be everything she needed. It was all I
thought about on my long trek back home.
Just my luck that the first woman I considered worthy of sharing balked
at the first mention of it. Most women outside of my family’s culture thought
it was some culty brainwashing shit and I didn’t give a fuck. I was fine to
fuck them and ride off the next day anyway. They’d never get the irony of a
one-night stand between two people, while completely dismissing the
intimacy and trust between a woman and her harem.
But I desperately wanted Mariposa to understand. And if she didn’t go for
it, then I would try my best to understand where she was coming from.
That’s what people did when they fell in love, right?
“Mari’s here!” Noelle called from downstairs.
“Then get that sweet ass up here!” I returned.
“She’s getting a robe out of my room!” Noelle reported.
“Fuck that, I want her naked!”
I chuckled to myself, puffing on my cigar, then cringed and coughed. I
did not want to think about what Noelle was doing with that guy downstairs,
nor did I want to give her any ideas.
Ah, whatever. My woman was here.
"There you are." I leaned back in the tub as Mari's bare feet padded over
the tiled floor. "Almost thought the water would get cold before you got
here."
"Sorry," she mumbled, slipping the robe off her shoulders and letting the
fabric pool on the floor.
I didn’t get a chance to enjoy the view. She looked away from me as she
climbed in, settling between my legs with her bare back as stiff as a board.
Aside from her hips brushing my thighs, she made no move to touch me. She
stayed hunched over, knees drawn up and arms against her chest.
That was fucking weird.
I lifted my hand from the water with a small splash, moving her hair from
her back to the front of her shoulder. Then I circled my thumb against her
upper back, working the stiff muscles until she released a soft sigh. Taking
hold of her shoulder, I pulled back gently and she followed until her back
rested on my chest.
I moved the massage to her upper arms, letting the water trickle over her
skin to aid in her relaxation. Dragging my lips along the back of her neck, I
pressed a kiss to the soft spot behind her ear.
"What's wrong, sugar?"
Her heartbeat and her breathing accelerated. I waited, despite the urge of
demanding the truth from her. It had been a long time since I comforted a
woman who was more than just a casual fuck, but I did my best. My hands
ran up and down her arms and I dropped more kisses on her neck and
shoulder.
"I had sex with Shadow."
All my movements paused. The words tumbled out of her in a hurried
confession, and her heart thumped erratically through her back.
"Okay." That was the last thing I expected to hear come out of her mouth.
Shadow hadn't occurred to me as someone to share her with, mainly because
he didn't seem interested in most normal things, least of all women.
"I didn't want to at first," she breathed in the same hurried, verging-on-
panicked fashion. "I said stop and he did, but...I didn't know what he would
do next, so I just…kept going until he finished."
"Wait." My own heart now crashed erratically as I grabbed her shoulder
again and turned her so she faced me. "Are you saying Shadow forced
himself on you?"
"It all happened so fast," her lip wobbled. "I finished cleaning his wound
and then he's holding me in his lap and pulling my pants down. I stopped it
before anything actually happened, but then I..." Her eyes lifted to mine, wet
with tears. "I didn't expect to feel like shit, but I—“
"Mari, was there anything you could have said that made Shadow think
you wanted to? He won't even be in the same room as a woman if he can help
it, let alone fuck one against her will."
"I don't know." Two fat tears tracked down her cheeks. "I don't even
know why I'm so upset. I was scared at first but now I feel like…I cheated on
you—“
“You didn’t cheat on me,” I scoffed. “What we have is not some outdated
bullshit like that.” Fuck. I bit my tongue too late. So much for understanding
where she was coming from.
“Right.” She wiped her tears away forcefully. “That’s right, Reaper. I
know you don’t do traditional relationships.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Mari,” I warned. “I haven’t told you what
that means so don’t make assumptions about me.” Then in my best attempt at
a gentler voice I added, “This is how we end up fighting, remember?”
“I’m sorry. I just…I’m so confused.” Her eyes were gigantic and pained
as they met mine. But she wasn’t pained, I realized. She thought she hurt me.
“Come here,” I pulled her toward my chest. “I’m not angry and I don’t
blame you for this. I mean it, sugar. You haven’t done anything wrong by
me.”
“How can you say that?” Her arms went around my neck. “I just slept
with another man right after we agreed to work on us!”
“Mari, look at me.” I wrapped one arm around her back and held her chin
in the other hand. “Do you still want to be with me?”
“Yes,” her breath fanned over my lips and I ached to kiss her. “Of course
I do. But how can you—”
“That’s all that matters to me,” I told her. “You care enough to come
straight here and tell me. You still want to be the woman at my side.” I
dragged my thumb across the tear resting on her cheekbone. “You’re honest.
You’re loyal. And you’re mine. There’s no reason for you to feel so guilty
about this.”
“I do, anyway.” She let out a shuddering sigh. “I can’t believe I let it
happen. I never want to be in that situation again.”
“Come here.” I pulled her in until her thighs wrapped around my waist
and her arms encircled my shoulders.
My hands pressed up and down into her back in an effort to soothe her. I
dropped kisses to her shoulder as she buried her face in my neck. All the
while, I tried to rationally process what she told me. Why wasn’t Jandro with
her? Shadow only had sex with whores. What made him think she wanted it,
when the aftermath clearly showed she didn’t? And yet, it didn’t sound like
he raped her.
I pressed a kiss to her ear before asking, “Did he hurt you?”
“No. He didn’t…do anything besides start it. It was all me. I guess that’s
why I feel like shit.”
I waited a few moments before asking my next question.
“Did you enjoy it?”
She let out a soft gasp and jerked away from me like I hit her, her face
crestfallen.
“I swear to God, Reaper. I don’t know where I stand with you. First
you’re wiping my tears away, then you want to know sordid details like—”
“You want to know where you stand with me?” I pointed to the left side
of my chest. “Right fucking here.”
Her mouth snapped shut as she swallowed, starting at where my finger
pressed directly to my heart.
“Now you’re the medic, so correct me if I’m wrong,” I continued, “but
this organ is not the same thing as my dick.”
She huffed out a soft laugh and a smile for the first time since entering the
room. “No, you’re right.” Her eyes lifted up to mine and it looked like
something clicked. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying sexual or even emotional monogamy is not a requirement for
me in a partner. But,” I lifted a finger to stop her from saying anything else,
“in the culture I grew up in, only women were privy to this. I had one mom
and three dads, remember?”
“You mean your dads were only with her and no one else?”
“Yeah. All three of them were completely devoted to her.” I stared
blankly at the water’s surface as childhood memories filtered through my
head.
“It never felt…I dunno, unfair?”
“Not at all. It was a beautiful, sacred thing cherished by everyone
involved.” My gaze returned to hers. “There were rules to it, though. Our
society was a bit complex. Technically you broke a rule but that’s okay.” I
directed a small splash at her to show I was joking. “You didn’t know. And
it’s nowhere near as bad as cheating.”
“So,” she looked apprehensive, but not as crushed as a few minutes ago.
“You want to have that kind of relationship with me?”
“Only if it’s something you want, too.” I grabbed her waist and pulled her
back once again to straddle me. “I’ll explain it later, lay it all out for you.
Then you can think about it and decide if it’s something you want to try. If
not,” I sucked in a breath, “I’ll try my damndest to be good enough for you as
your only man. I don’t want other women, I’m not wired that way. But if
you’re only with me…sugar, I’m gonna piss you off. I’m probably gonna
hurt your feelings again, even though I don’t mean to.”
Mari laughed lightly, running her fingers over my scalp as her forehead
touched mine. “I have a feeling that’s gonna happen regardless if it’s just you
or not.”
“You’re probably right.” My hands molded to the curves in her back
again. “Just hear me out before you write it off?”
“I can do that.” She smiled against my lips before bringing a fist to her
mouth to stifle her yawn. “Later, though?”
“Later,” I promised, kissing her after she finished yawning. “Rest first.
And I gotta hold church to bring everyone up to speed. I’m sure you’ll have
patients to check on.”
 “Yeah…” Her eyelids were already drooping as she leaned on me.
“And hey,” I kissed her forehead.
“Hm?”
“I’ll find out what happened,” I told her. “And I’ll make sure it doesn’t
happen again.”

MARI and I slept from the ass-crack of dawn all day until the following
afternoon. When we got up, she made her rounds checking on patients while I
poured over some work in my study. Just to make her feel safer, I told Hades
to go with her, which he seemed very happy about.
That evening, I found Jandro and some other guys drinking and playing
cards around the fire pit next to the pool.
“One of you fuckers pour me something and deal me in. You,” I pointed
at Jandro, “I need a word. Alone.”
His eyebrow popped up in surprise. “Sure thing, Reap.”
He followed me into the clubhouse and through the hall until we reached
the church conference room, neither of us saying a word until I locked the
door behind us.
“What’s going on?” Jandro’s tone was cool, but brimmed with curiosity.
I huffed out a breath. “You need to find out from Shadow exactly what
the hell happened after Mariposa treated him.”
Jandro’s eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms. “Wha—”
“She’s saying he fucked her.” The words came out with a growl, whether
out of jealousy or protection, I couldn’t be sure. “And she came to me right
after, all upset.”
“What, fucked her? You mean like actual…?” He made an O-shape with
his hand and stuck his opposite index finger through to demonstrate.
“Yes, Jandro. That is generally what people mean by fucking.”
 “You can’t be serious.” He looked baffled. “This is Shadow we’re talking
about.”
“I know. It makes no sense to me either.” I scrubbed a hand down my
face. “But Mari’s not lying about this. She was all quiet, then she started
crying—”
“You don’t think—” Jandro cut himself off abruptly, jerking his eyes
away for a moment before looking back at me. “Reap, no. Shadow
wouldn’t.”
“That’s why I’m telling you to find out what happened. He’ll say more to
you than anyone else.”
“He’s never hurt anyone in this club, you realize that?” my VP asked me
intently. “He’s never even showed up to a Fight Night. Reaper, she must’ve
—”
“Don’t say it,” I warned him. “Don’t you fucking say she wanted it to
happen. She said it felt like cheating on me.”
“Fuck me, man,” he sighed heavily. “You still haven’t told her?”
“I started to,” I said. “She gets the basic idea but we haven’t talked about
it in depth yet.” I cut my hand through the air. “Doesn’t fucking matter,
anyway. She did not want this to happen. And it will not be repeated, you
hear me?”
“Yeah, man. I got it.”
“So what the hell are you waiting for?” I snarled when he just kept
fucking standing there.
“Shadow turned in early tonight. He’s probably already asleep.”
“Then wake his ass up.”
“And get thrown across the room like a rag doll? No thanks,” he huffed.
“I’ll talk to him in the morning.”
“See that you do.” I headed for the door. “I want two apologies—one to
me, for having my woman without permission, and one directly to Mari—”
“Reap, dude,” Jandro gave me a pleading look. “You know how he is—”
 “—for upsetting the woman who saved all your lives.” I opened the door.
“That’ll be all, Jandro.”
I left him there, heading back to the patio where a card game, a drink, and
a fat cigar waited for me. Sure, I knew exactly how Shadow was and tolerated
it up until now. He was a loyal soldier and a damn good assassin. He didn’t
have to morph into a chatty Cathy but shit had to change from here on out.
He needed to know Mariposa wasn’t some whore to paw at. Hell, every Steel
Demon needed to know it, but he especially needed it drummed through that
thick skull.
She deserved to walk among us feeling safe and respected.
Because she was mine.
TWENTY-THREE
 JANDRO

“C hela, Perdita, Letty, Foghorn,” I sighed, tugging on the string I just

tied to make sure it was secure. “I swear you guys are the only
ones not being a pain in my ass lately.”
The girls just clucked as they pecked at the head of cabbage I strung up
for them as a treat. Foghorn was chilling by the workout bench, nice and
quiet after crowing at all ungodly hours of the night. That made my next-door
neighbor, Big G and his family, less than thrilled. But I begrudgingly got
them on board with my new pets after promising fresh eggs once the girls
started laying.
Truthfully, though, with Reaper breathing down my neck about what
Shadow did, Mariposa forgetting my existence since her man was back, piles
of fucked up bikes in my shop, and still dealing with a betrayer in our club,
hanging out with chickens seemed like a fine idea.
I watched them peck at the head of cabbage while enjoying my coffee in
a deck chair. Foghorn decided to see what his ladies were fussing about and
walked over with his dinosaur-like gait.
I sighed. If only sharing food was the biggest of my problems. I didn't
expect it to nag at me so much that Mari and Reaper got back together so
quickly. We all feared the worst for him, and I could only imagine how he
felt leaving his woman in the midst of a battle.
 My heart didn't hurt. It didn't even sting, really. I just missed her.
I felt like a fallback guy, the one she went to when things were rough
with her main squeeze. When did that happen? Never before had I ever let a
woman yank me around. I knew all the tricks in the book. Crocodile tears and
pouty lips had no effect on me.
Who was I kidding? I knew Mari wasn't being manipulative and it was
wrong trying to paint her that way. She was just doing her best to navigate
her feelings in a world that was completely foreign to her.
And now this whole thing with Shadow threw me for one hell of a loop. I
thought for sure Reaper was fucking with me, but the dude was fuming. Now
I had to put on my dad-pants again and get everyone to make up. Just great.
I heard the sliding glass door whoosh open behind me, signaling that
Shadow had risen and was coming outside for his workout.
"Mornin'," I greeted without looking at him.
I got a grunt in reply, then watched him grip the horizontal bar to begin
his pull-ups.
The man worked out religiously every morning we were at home. He was
shirtless and with his hair tied back. Only in this yard and in present company
was he ever comfortable doing so. I'd bet my flock of chickens I was still the
only person who saw his face unobstructed.
I lost count of his pull-ups around sixty. He did about twenty more before
grabbing a 45-pound plate to hold between his ankles and began another set.
I could hardly believe I was looking at the same skinny, malnourished
and timid kid curled up into a ball at my prison job so many years ago. With
plenty of food and a set of heavy weights to lift, he turned into a beast.
Or rather, he was always a beast. Now he was just no longer caged.
"Your stitches look good, Frankenstein," I called out, noticing the clean,
sutured wound just above his hip.
My shoulder was sore as hell from the gunshot wound, but I hadn't
broken out in a fever this time. Mari must have done a good job of preventing
infection from spreading.
Shadow didn't respond to my comment, but began his next set. Even with
me, he chose not to say anything unless he had to. I was stalling and knew it
was useless. Reaper would have my balls if I didn't get to the root of the
matter today.
Time to rip the band-aid off.
"Can I talk to you for a minute, bro?"
"Yes," he grunted out between his hand-clap push-ups.
I drained the rest of my coffee and put it down beside me, knowing he'd
want to finish his current set before talking.
He did fifteen more then rose up to standing, breathing with a bit of effort
but otherwise not looking at all like he just completed a workout that would
kill most men. And that was just his warm-up.
"What would you like to talk about?"
Even though we were friends and I trusted the guy with my life, he
looked intimidating as hell walking across the yard toward me. The sun made
him squint, adding more tension to his already permanently scowling face.
The morning's brightness also turned his pupils to pinpricks, exaggerating the
contrast between his brown eye and his white eye.
I blew out a breath. "Have a seat, man."
He cocked his head at me but relented, lowering himself down to sit on
the deck next to my chair.
"What happened after Mariposa stitched you up the other night?"
"We fucked."
I groaned and raised a hand. "Okay, back it up a notch. How did that
happen?"
"She offered and I accepted."
"What do you mean, she offered? What exactly did she say?"
"She said, 'let me know if you need anything else.' It has been over six
months since you sent a woman to me, so—“
 "Oh my God, Shadow," I groaned, slapping both palms to my face.
Fucking fuck sticks, this was my fault. "Dude, this is why I said you need to
spend more time around people."
"I don't like people."
"I know, but ugh..." I rubbed my temples, trying to cool my shit. I should
have fucking seen this coming but had so much other shit on my mind at the
time, my own feelings for Mari included.
Shadow frowned, now apparently clued in to my reaction. "Did I do
something wrong?"
"Yeah, man. You kinda did." I looked at him squarely, knowing that
telling him straight was more effective than beating around the bush. "I sent
her to you just to heal you. That is the service she provides, not sex. She's not
a whore. She was offering you more medical attention if you needed it."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh," I sighed. "She didn't expect or want to have sex with you. So
she was pretty upset afterward—“
"Why?"
I groaned again, returning my hand to my forehead. Talking to him was
like talking to a toddler sometimes.
"Because she barely knows you and had no warning it was coming. On
top of that, she's Reaper's woman. At this point, he's the only man she's
agreed to fuck. Make sense?"
"I guess so." He still looked puzzled.
"I'm not mad at you, dude. I'm just trying to help you understand," I said.
"A lot of these things are implied and not explicitly said. If you spend more
time in mixed company, men and women, you'll pick up on these things and
avoid misunderstandings."
"I'm confused because," he scratched at his beard, "she didn't seem upset.
She rode me herself. She was moaning and touching me here," he skimmed a
hand across his chest. "No other woman has done that before. It made me
come faster."
“Okay, I did not need to know that," I groaned. "But yeah, women who
don't provide sex as a service treat it differently. Most of them only do it with
people they care about. So there's more touching, kissing, little things like
that. It creates intimacy."
"It felt good. I mean, it always does. But good in a different way."
Shadow's hand rested on his chest tattoo, eyes unfocused as he seemed to
recall the sensation.
"Well enjoy that memory because it's all you'll ever have," I said. "Reaper
ordered me to tell you it's to never happen again. He also wants an apology
from you for having his woman without permission."
Shadow's hand dropped from his chest, his eyes going from dreamy to
stoic. "Okay. I can do that."
I sucked in a breath. "He also wants you to apologize to Mariposa."
His gaze snapped up to mine, wide-eyed and panicked. "I can't."
"You can and you will," I told him in my most stern dad voice. "You had
your dick inside her. You can say you're sorry."
He shook his head. "I can't do it, Jandro."
"Dude, you're a three-hundred pound gorilla. She's one little woman.
What's the worst she can do to you?"
He looked away without an answer but I saw the tremor in his hands.
I felt awful for the guy. He came such a long way since I found him but
his trauma and his fears still ran deep. At least twice a week, all his progress
seemed to reset due to his night terrors. Shadow was a beast feared almost
more than the Steel Demons name itself. But no one else saw the man
trembling in the center of a bedroom filled with furniture torn to splinters,
wearing the face of a terrified kid I found in a prison cell.
"I keep telling you most women are not like your family," I said in a
gentler tone, clapping my hand on his shoulder. "I can tell you until I'm blue
in the face, but this is your chance to see it for yourself."
 He still didn't answer and I knew he was off somewhere in his head.
"Hey," I snapped my fingers in front of his face. "Stay with me, dude.
You're building this up in your head and it's really not that big a deal. You
can do this."
"Do I have to?" Jesus, he really was like a child. "I'll apologize to Reaper
and he can tell her—“
"No. He was very specific, Shadow. You need to tell her yourself." I
sighed. "I know it's scary, man. I used to be terrified of talking to girls, too."
"You were?"
"Like twenty years ago, but yeah. It gets easier the more you do it,
though. Trust me on that."
He sighed, resigned to his fate. "Will you help me with what I should
say?"
"Sure thing, buddy." I slapped his back. "We'll work it out before church.
Get on back to your workout."
He jumped up and returned to the weights like he couldn't wait to get
away from this conversation. I, too, was glad to have it over with. Now if
only I could get the image of Mari riding his dick out of my head.
A chuckle escaped me despite myself. Shadow had to be the only person
in the world who found it easier to cut a man's throat than say a single word
to a woman.
TWENTY-FOUR
 MARIPOSA

"O w! Fuck!"
I ignored Big G's complaints as I ripped the bandage off of his bullet
wound.
"Ow, that was my fucking leg hair!"
"Oh my God, will you quit your bitching?" Tessa waddled over to the
couch while I bit my lip to hold in the laughter.
"You've never been shot, woman!"
"And you've never pushed an eight-pound baby out of your body, so shut
the hell up."
She lowered herself on the couch carefully, holding her belly. "Sorry
about him, Mari. Don't let it deter you."
"It's all right," I applied more antibacterial ointment to the sutures. "I
really do hope Gunner comes back soon so I can get some local anesthesia
again."
I finished with her husband and sent him off limping and whimpering.
The moment he was gone, I scooted closer to her with my stethoscope and a
huge grin on my face.
"How's my favorite little man or lady doing?" I asked, holding the
diaphragm end to her belly.
"I swear he's got a fucking motorcycle in there already," she sighed.
"Running nonstop."
"Yeah? You thinking boy then?"
"I keep saying he but I don't really know." She looked at me longingly.
"Can't believe they used to have those machines where you could see the
baby and everything, all the little parts, too!"
"The teaching hospital at my nursing school had one," I told her. "The
really advanced one where you could see everything in 3D. You could watch
them suck their thumbs in there, kicking and flailing around, little boys
playing with their willies."
"Sounds like my two boys," she laughed before turning serious. "Is it bad
to want another boy, Mari?"
"Not at all. You know what to expect, right? Since you already have two."
"Yeah, it's not just that, though." She chewed her lip nervously.
I pulled the ear pieces out and let the stethoscope hang around my neck.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just scared to raise a girl in a world like this," she whispered.
"Oh, honey." I grabbed her hand and squeezed. "She'd have all these big
scary men to protect her. Don't tell me the Steel Demons wouldn't kill for a
little princess."
"They would," she gave a strained smile. "Dallas and Andrea's daughter is
treasured by everyone here. But her options are so limited as she grows up,
unlike for the men. She either stays within the gates of Sheol her whole life
or goes out into the world. And what's out there for her? Nothing but a life of
slavery."
"I hear you," I said with a nod. "I can't imagine having that kind of fear
for my own child. But you know what I think?"
"Hm?"
"We need more women out in the world. To hide them away only creates
a demand for them as commodities. We need women in positions of power,
in educated jobs, in supportive and leadership roles. That's how we make the
world a safer place for our kids."
Tessa gave me a nod and a gentle smile. "I agree with what you're saying.
Really, I do. It's just that," she placed a hand on her belly, "it's going to take
lots of time and sacrifice to get to that point. And what mother wants to send
her children out to be sacrificial lambs?"
I didn't have an answer for her.

I FINISHED CHECKING on my patients a bit later that night. The only

house I didn't stop by was Jandro and Shadow's.
With Hades at my side, I probably would have been fine. I certainly
wouldn't mind seeing Jandro, I even missed him. It was Shadow I was unsure
about, so I thought it best to avoid it.
On the way back to Reaper's, we passed by what I assumed to be
Gunner's dark, empty house. I let out a sigh at the thought of the sweet,
angel-faced Demon. I missed him, too. Just another man in the carousel to
send my head spinning.
Hades howled softly as we walked by, which was answered by a soft
screech coming from the house's direction.
"Saying goodnight to your buddy?" I asked, scratching between his ears.
He licked my hand in response.
We walked into the house to the sound of Noelle and Larkan talking in
the kitchen. The space was open and covered in marble and stainless steel, so
their voices echoed despite talking at a normal volume. It sounded like they
were trying to bake something.
Noelle suddenly shrieked which turned into uproarious laughter. Larkan
chuckled softly and said something like, "I told you not to touch that."
Those two were nothing if not love at first sight. I smiled all the way to
Reaper's study.
 "What are you happy about?" he said the moment I stepped into the room.
He sat at the end of a long table similar to the one in the conference room.
Papers were strewn out in front of him, a lamp emitting cozy yellow light
throughout the room. The president wasn't wearing his cut, but the top three
buttons of his henley shirt were undone. His green eyes looked predatory in
the warm light and a glass of whiskey completed the ensemble.
"Noelle," I answered, making my way toward him. "She seems so happy."
"Ugh, don't remind me of that," he groaned as he stretched his arms
above his head. "And here I thought you were happy to see me."
"I am." I leaned over to kiss him, which ended up being futile since he
just pulled me into his lap and dominated my mouth. "And what's wrong with
your sister being happy?" I asked when I broke away.
"She's going to get her fucking heart broken, that's what's wrong," he
grumbled, taking a pull of whiskey. "Noelle is either all in or all out. She
doesn't do anything in between. And that guy," he nodded his head toward
the door, "I don't trust. Not until he proves himself loyal. And even then, it
doesn't mean he's good for her."
"Why not just let her enjoy it?" I pushed his hair back with my fingers
before lacing my hands around his neck. "And if it doesn't work out, at least
he made her happy for a while."
"Noelle can't just have fun," he sighed. "When she gets her sights on
someone, she falls hard and fast. When it ends, she completely breaks down
and I have to pick up the pieces." He downed the rest of his whiskey. "She
swears she'll never love another man again, then she gets lonely and the cycle
repeats."
"She's never had, you know, like your mom and dads?" I'd been thinking
of what he told me about his family for most of the day.
"A harem?" He shook his head. "Nah. Unfortunately, her trysts don't
really last long enough for multiple relationships to be built, let alone one."
He set his glass down and wrapped both arms around my back, pulling
me forward on his lap until his lips met my neck.
"Enough about my sister," he murmured before kissing the spot between
my neck and shoulder. "How's my lover?"
I smiled against his ear, squirming a little from his stubble tickling my
skin. "Good. No one's injuries got worse, which is a huge relief. I just didn't
check Jandro and Shadow, though. I don't know if you..."
"I took care of it," he kissed me again. "Jandro talked to him and reported
back to me. It sounds like it was a misunderstanding, which is kind of what I
figured."
"A misunderstanding?"
"Yeah." Reaper leaned back, resting his hands on my thighs. "Shadow
doesn't interact with people much, as I'm sure you've seen. Even less so with
women. Pretty much the only female contact he's had is with service girls
Jandro buys for him."
"Really? His whole life?"
Reaper nodded. "From birth until he met Jandro, he was kept very
isolated. He didn't really learn social cues and appropriate behavior until after
they met."
"He's covered in scars," I recalled the sight of his arms and torso. "Scars
that look old."
Reaper nodded slowly. "The few interactions he had with people growing
up were not positive, to say the least."
"Damn," I breathed. "Neurology is not my field, but I can only imagine
what that does to someone's brain development."
"You're sexy when you talk medic nonsense," he teased, earning a swat
on the chest from me. "Anyway, Shadow will make a full apology to you and
me soon. I expect sometime before or after church tomorrow."
"You?" I asked. "What's he apologizing to you for?"
Reaper's hands slid up my thighs, reaching around to grab my ass with
both hands. Heat and a dangerous possessiveness filled his eyes.
 "Because he had what's mine."
Good lord, I didn't want to find that so hot but I did. It was the perfect
opportunity to ask more about his whole sharing thing, but the blood rushing
from my head to my sex made me stupid.
"Hm?" It was apparently so hot I zoned out on Reaper asking me a
question.
His smirk made me even hotter. "I said, is that acceptable to you? An
apology from him?"
"Yeah, I think so. It seems a bit," I thought for a moment, "a bit cruel,
even. If talking to women in particular makes him so uncomfortable."
"A fitting punishment, then," Reaper said. "He's not afraid of anything
else. And maybe he'll learn to socialize like a normal person."
"That's mean," I swatted his chest again. "He's not abnormal, just
different."
"Mean is my middle name, sugar." He leaned in, grinning, catching my
lower lip in his teeth.
"Oh yeah?" I giggled, pulling back. "Mine's Diaz. I took my dad's last
name as my middle name and my mom's surname. A lot of women were
doing it as a small protest at the time, giving kids their maiden names instead
of their husband's names."
Reaper was silent as I blabbered, and I realized the moment got serious.
"I don't actually have a middle name," he confessed. "My family thought
they were useless and outdated. But," he sucked in a breath, "my real name is
Rory."
A huge grin threatened to split my face in half. "Rory?"
"I know, it's dumb."
"It's not!" I cupped the sides of his neck, the giggles spilling out of me.
"It's so cute."
"Shut up, woman. You trying to take my man-card away?" But he was
smiling and tickling my sides, making me laugh harder.
 I leaned into him, holding his face and laughing as I kissed him.
It was a good day and I was happy. I saw my friend, did my job that I
loved, then came home to a man who cared about me. In that moment, life
felt so simple and pure. The words tumbled out of me before I could stop
them.
"I love you, Rory."
TWENTY-FIVE
 REAPER

"I love you, sugar."

The words came out a hushed murmur against her spine as I kissed her
there, tracing her beautiful back with my mouth.
"I love you." I said it between her shoulder blades that time and would
say it over every inch of her body if she let me.
I never said those words to anyone, except to my parents as a child. I
didn’t even say it to Daren before he died. I was too busy being pissed off at
him for giving me all of the vaccine while he wasted away.
He died never knowing how much I appreciated his wisdom, despite
being younger than me. He thought I was pissed about him lying to me when
I was honestly scared to death about going on without him. I should have told
him it was okay, that I had this shit in the bag. I should have been a big
brother to him, not a pissed off president. Because I could never imagine how
scared he must have been to feel himself slowly slipping away.
Telling Mariposa I loved her didn’t make up for never telling Daren, but I
didn’t want to make the same mistake again—waiting until it was too late.
Now those three simple words sent my pulse racing every time they left
my mouth. It was a better adrenaline hit than riding. And I could have it
every time I looked at my woman.
"I love you," I said with a kiss to the nape of her neck.
 Mari moaned softly in her sleep, rolling onto her stomach. Fuck me, how
could anyone be so perfect?
Her skin and hair contrasted breathtakingly with my white sheets. She
looked like an angel sleeping on clouds. How ironic for her to be in the bed
of a Demon.
Not to mention falling in love with one.
When she told me that in my study last night, I didn't even care that she
used my real name. I knew she meant it.
And I said it back to her. Again and again. It was the last thing on my lips
when I fell asleep and the first thing when I woke up.
"Damn," I breathed, just staring at her. "I love you, Mariposa."
"I love you, too..." she mumbled face down in the pillow, "...Rory."
"Goddamn it, woman!"
I yanked the pillow out from under her head and smacked her with it.
"I'm still sleeping, asshole!" Her legs kicked out, narrowly missing my
junk.
"Liar," I cackled, rolling her over and pinning her beneath me. "And I'd
rather be Asshole than fucking Rory."
"I don't know why you hate it so much." She lifted her chin at me
defiantly and it was fucking adorable.
"Because it's a stupid dipshit name."
"I think it's cute!"
"I," I grabbed her wrists and pressed them into the mattress on either side
of her head, "am not cute.”
Her smile was stunningly beautiful and devilish in a way that got me hard
in an instant.
"Sorry to break the news, but you're actually pretty cute." Her head lifted
to kiss my nose. "But I'll call you Reaper if it makes you feel like a badass."
"Woman," I sighed, lying my head down on her pillowy breasts. "You're
enjoying this, aren't you? Pushing my buttons knowing full well I won't do
anything about it because I'm fucking crazy about you."
"Maybe a little." Her hands smoothed down my back. "Okay, more than a
little. But it's payback for you being a dick before."
I lifted my head to look at her, my expression now serious. "I deserve it,
then."
"Yeah, you do," she tapped her finger against my lips, the devilish spark
still in her eyes, "Rory."
I groaned and rolled my eyes but otherwise didn't complain.
"You believe me, right?" I caught her hand and kissed her fingers. "That
I'm going to be better for you. I've never been in love before but fuck, Mari, I
want to do this right."
"Reaper." She whispered my true name, running her fingers through my
hair. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe you."
I lowered my head back down to her chest with a sigh, still careful not to
crush her under my weight. "I'm dreaming."
"Why do you say that?" she laughed, scratching lightly over my neck.
"I'm in love with a woman who loves me back. That kind of shit just
doesn't happen to me."
"Should I call you Rory a few more times?" she joked.
"Call me that all you want. I'll just fuck you until you lose your voice." I
kissed her collarbone. "Anyway, I still have all this club bullshit to bring me
back to reality. Speaking of," I lifted my head up and gave her a long, languid
kiss, "I gotta hold church, sugar."
"Okay, I'll be in the medic's office. Send anyone down who wants their
injuries looked at."
"Will do." I kissed her again. God, why did she make it so hard to leave?
"And thank you, beautiful, for looking after my people. I don't think I've told
you that yet."
"Just doing my job, handsome," she smiled against my lips. "Oh! Before I
forget," she grabbed my forearm, "I mentioned this to Jandro a while ago but
I'd like to start vaccinating everyone. Kids especially. After the battle, I don't
think having people donate blood would be a bad idea either. In case more
serious injuries occur down the road. Can you bring those two ideas up to
everyone?"
"You remember what I told you about my schooling, right?" I rolled to sit
up at the edge of the bed.
"Don't act like you're not smart enough to relay a message." She nudged
me with her foot. "I didn't even use any fancy medic words this time."
"No, but people might have questions I won't be able to answer."
"You can send them to me. I guess I should have office hours, huh?"
"You'll be repeating yourself a lot," I warned, sliding my pants up my
legs before looking for a shirt.
"I already do that as part of my job."
"There's an easy solution to this, you know." The idea made me grin. It
broke all the club rules but fuck if I cared.
She peered up at me curiously from the bed. "What's that?"
I leaned over and kissed her again, powerless to resist those lips.
"Come to church with me."

MARI FINALLY AGREED after some cajoling, but still had to stop by her
medic's office first. Something about heartburn medication for Tessa.
In any case, it worked out because I had a hunch a certain man wouldn't
have the balls to apologize to me with a woman in the room.
The conference room was empty when I arrived, save for Shadow.
"President," he stood from the table immediately. "May I have a word
with you in private?"
"Certainly." I locked the door behind me then came around to the chair
next to his. "Sit down, Shadow. What can I do for you?"
 The big man didn't appear visibly nervous, but I knew this was difficult
for him. Being alone helped, along with the fact that he trusted me almost as
much as Jandro. Still, speaking didn't come naturally to him.
"I want to apologize for my actions the other day," he said. "I meant no
disrespect to you or your woman."
"You can call her Mariposa," I said.
"Mariposa," he repeated softly, his fingers twitching in his lap for a
moment. "On top of misunderstanding what she asked me, I didn't know she
was yours. But Jandro explained it to me, and I know better for the future."
His odd-colored gaze met mine straight on. "I promise you it won't happen
again. I'm sorry, Reaper."
"Apology accepted." I clapped him on the arm. "You're a good man,
Shadow. I know you didn't mean anything by it and I'm glad you're able to
learn from this."
He nodded, now looking visibly more nervous. "I still have to apologize
to her—Mariposa—directly."
"You shouldn't have any issue with that." I got up to unlock and open the
door. "I think you'll find her forgiving."
"Women are not forgiving in my experience," he muttered.
"To be fair, Shadow," I sighed, rounding the table to my seat again, "your
experience is the exception, not the norm."
"That is what everyone tells me," he said. "But I have nothing else to
compare it to."
"You will one day," I assured him. "Maybe even with Mari's help."
He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "How?"
"No idea," I shrugged. "But she's smart. And she's kind. She only ever
wants to help people." And be an adorable pain in my ass by calling me Rory.
"Those are good qualities."
"They are," I agreed. "If there's a way to help your...condition, I'm sure
she'll find it."
 "She won't want to help me," Shadow grumbled.
"You might be surprised."
The club started filing into the room and for a moment I was proud to see
a room full of Steel Demons again, instead of only the usual faces from the
road. But the thought of someone in this room betraying us, putting us in
danger, quickly soured my mood and made my blood boil.
I smacked the gavel on the table the moment the room filled up and the
door closed. All murmurings died down to hushed silence.
"I'll get straight to the point," I said. "General Tash betrayed us and has
tried to take us out twice now, thanks to insider information. And one of you
is the general's little bitch."
I allowed a pause to let that sink in. Everyone kept their eyes straight on
me, no side-eyes to the man next to him.
"One of you," I went on, letting my eyes linger on every single man in the
room, "has desecrated the Steel Demons patch. Every time you put it on, you
do so under false pretenses. You're not loyal and you're a dishonest piece of
shit. I have no room for the likes of you in my club. And when I find out who
you are," I couldn't resist the cruel smile spreading across my face. "I'll feed
your balls to my dog. And I'll make you watch."
At my side, Hades barked and licked his lips. I never trained him to
respond to anything I said. He just seemed to know how to add dramatic
effect to my threats. Whoever the weasel was just had to be squirming now.
"To the rest of you, the true Steel Demons," I stroked Hades' head,
"Jandro told me how quickly you all came to our aid on the dirt bikes,
assisted Mariposa with the wounded, and cleaned up the wreckage outside.
You did me and the patch proud."
"We deserve a party," Jandro cupped his hands around his mouth like a
megaphone, earning laughs and murmurs of agreement from the others.
"Fine, handle it." I waved a hand at him. "I assume we have steaks and
charcoal leftover from last time. Actually, that brings up another point of
business."
The murmurs died down again for me to speak. "Our business with
General Tash has obviously ended," I said. "As he was the biggest trade
partner we had, Gunner is out securing new trade deals as we speak. We are
well-stocked for the time being, but there may be a transition period where
we'll have to ration goods."
"In addition," Jandro jumped in after a nod from me, "we have a surplus
of firearms and other weapons from the Sandia outpost's armory which we
fully intend to use. Once we eliminate Tash's bitch, we'll reach out to the
MCs we're allied with and pool resources." He drummed his hands on the
table. "We're going to war, fellas."
The whole room fell into stunned silence.
"Uh," Big G lazily raised a hand. "Which MCs are we allied with?"
"Iron Soldiers, Phantom Kings, and Dark Brotherhood, to name a few," I
answered. "Gunner has his contacts, I have a few of my own."
A gentle knock came to the door.
"Ah, perfect timing." I stood from my seat and went for the door while
everyone looked bewildered.
Hades trotted happily beside me, knowing exactly who it was. If we
hadn't thrown anyone for a loop yet, a woman in church was certainly about
to.
TWENTY-SIX
 MARIPOSA

R eaper opened the door with a sly grin, a sign he was up to something. I
just couldn’t be sure what.
“Hey, sugar,” he greeted me, low and husky. “Come on in.”
No less than fifteen pairs of eyes stared at me as I followed him to the
head of the table. And none looked more terrified of my female presence than
Shadow.
Jandro just smirked and winked at me. He had to be in on the same joke
as Reaper.
“This is Mariposa, if you haven’t met her already,” Reaper’s hand
skimmed along my lower back, a clear sign of possessiveness. “She’s the
club medic and wanted to implement some new things for our health. Go
ahead, Mari.” He leaned against the back wall and folded his arms, giving me
the proverbial spotlight.
“Uh hi, everyone,” I said uneasily. “So the first thing I would like to
introduce is regular vaccinations, especially for children. Many diseases have
been on the rise since the Collapse, most of which are preventable with a
vaccine. It’ll be the best thing for your immune system if you go out and
possibly encounter a disease while on a ride.”
“How do you take a vaccine?” someone asked.
“With an injection,” I answered. “Sometimes a series of injections over
several months, depending on the type of vaccination.”
“What if you’re scared of needles?”
“You have twice as many tattoos as anyone, Python, shut the fuck up,”
Jandro yelled across the room. “Go on, Mari. Ignore them.”
“The second thing I would like to introduce is blood donations,” I said. “I
would like to keep stock of the four main blood types in case someone is so
badly injured that they’ll need a transfusion.” I raised a hand. “This is all on a
volunteer basis, of course. If you don’t want to get vaccinated or donate
blood, no one will force you. But the vaccines will only help you, and giving
blood can mean the difference between life and death for you or your fellow
Demons.”
I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. “Any questions?”
“Where do we sign up?” Jandro grinned up at me from the table.
I couldn’t help but smile back. “Anyone interested can meet me in my
office. I can get you on a vaccination schedule and determine blood types
with a simple test. Once I have a catalog of volunteers’ blood types, I’ll start
taking donations.”
A bunch of blank stares met my eyes and I swallowed another dry lump
of unease. Had I completely gone over everyone's heads? Or were they still
stuck on the fact that a woman entered their sacred club meeting?
Reaper came up behind me and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
"I'll be the first to volunteer." To everyone else, "Mari worked tirelessly
all night to patch us up from the attack. You can trust her, not only with your
own lives but your children's."
"Any medical issues you come to me with will also be kept confidential,"
I added. "This is something I take very seriously, so please don't suffer in
silence because you're ashamed or embarrassed. Trust me, I've seen every
body part and organ you can imagine, and probably some that you can't."
That got a chuckle out of some people.
"So please," I reiterated, "come see me if you're having any medical
issues or just have questions."
Jandro raised his hand next. "I also volunteer for vacs and blood
donation." He shot me a grin. "As long as you don't hurt me too badly."
"I won't if you won't," I retorted without thinking.
Chuckling, his eyes dropped to the table.
Reaper's hand on my shoulder moved to the nape of my neck.
"Thanks, sugar." The pet name and the contact on my skin seemed to
send a clear message without explicitly saying it.
I was his. And I liked that a lot more than I thought I would.
"Thanks, everyone." I gave a small wave as I headed for the door. "You
know where to find me."

"YOU OKAY WITH THIS?" Reaper's green eyes shone like bright jewels
under my office lights.
"Of course. What matters is you're okay with it. You're the patient."
I glanced up at the dozen or so people crowded around my tiny office.
Tessa was there, along with her two kids. So was Noelle, staring nervously at
my blood-draw syringe despite the lengths of colorful tattoos decorating her
arms.
"I want them to see that this isn't a big deal," Reaper said, lifting his eyes
to our visitors. "That we don't have to be afraid of blood or needles or any of
that shit. This can help us live longer, and therefore make the Steel Demons
even stronger." He nodded at me. "Do what you gotta do, sugar."
"All right, I need your arm."
He extended his hand to me. I pushed his sleeve up past his elbow and
placed the back of his forearm on the small pull-out table between us. Tying a
strip of gauze around the widest part of his forearm, I began tapping the
inside of his elbow in search of a vein.
 "Why do you do that?" Tessa's older boy asked.
"This is to slow his blood-flow a little bit," I said, tugging on the gauze
strip. "It helps me find a vein to draw blood from." Reaper's veins were
already swelling inside his elbow. "Now," I said. "Here's a little poke."
I inserted the needle and opened the tube, then taped the needle down. A
few people let out soft gasps as dark red blood flowed out of his arm and into
the bag.
"That's all it is," I said, turning to everyone. "A pint of blood can
potentially save three lives and it'll only take about ten minutes." I turned
back to Reaper. "How bad was that?"
"Not bad at all," he grinned, staring at the needle in his arm. "Kind of a
rush, actually."
"I want to go next!" Tessa's boy declared.
"Hey, little man," I rolled my stool over to him. "You're big and strong,
but you need all your blood to grow even bigger right now. In a few years,
though, you'll have some extra you can give if your mom says it's okay."
"Are there any, uh, side effects?" Noelle asked nervously.
"You might feel a bit weak and dizzy after donating. It's important that
you don't exert yourself for several hours afterward. Drink plenty of fluids
and eat well to help replenish what you donated. You might also feel sore and
have a bit of bruising at the injection site but that will fade after a few days."
When that answer seemed to reassure her, I looked at everyone else. "Any
other questions?"
Once Reaper finished up, the response was overwhelming. A line formed
outside my office door of people wanting to donate blood, get vaccinated,
talk to me about check-ups, or all of the above. I did my best to give
everyone my undivided attention while also trying not to panic at the line
growing longer.
But no one seemed to mind waiting. If anything, the hallway buzzed with
excitement. And still, people kept a distance outside my office door to
provide privacy to those I was seeing. It ended up being a long day, but one
I'd been dreaming of for years. Seeing patients, putting fears to rest, and
providing them with insight about their health and bodies. It was all I ever
wanted to do with my life, and the Steel Demons MC made it happen for me.
When the last patient left, a tall, handsome man leaned into my doorway.
He already had his arm bandaged so I jokingly made a shooing motion at
him.
"Get out of here. I already saw you."
"No one told you I get extra benefits with the medic?" Reaper smirked,
stalking toward me. "What did you think? Good turnout?"
"Yeah, really good. Amazing, even." I ran my hands through my hair and
blew out a breath. "Now I'm dying to wind down with a drink and foot rub."
"I was hoping you'd say that." His arm hooked around my waist, drawing
me against him for a deep kiss. "Let's go home, sugar."
TWENTY-SEVEN
 MARIPOSA

"W hat's this?" I gasped in shock. "You're bringing me a drink?"

"Don't get too excited," Reaper smiled in spite of his grumbling. "We're
still in the honeymoon phase."
He handed me a glass of wine, then moved my legs so I could extend
them across his lap.
"Then I'll enjoy it while it lasts," I sighed in utter bliss, swirling the wine
while his thumbs pressed into the arch of my foot.
"I'll make sure you do." His voice rumbled like a purr as his hands
worked magic into my sore feet. "Did Shadow apologize to you?"
"No, not yet." I smacked my lips lightly with a sip of wine.
Reaper grunted out a sound of displeasure while gently squeezing around
my ankle. "He needs to get on that shit."
"He's uncomfortable around crowds, right? All the people in my office
must have made him nervous." I took another delicate sip. "Getting an
apology is not even a big deal to me. As long as it doesn't happen again and it
truly was a misunderstanding—“
"It's a big deal to me," Reaper snarled. "The apology itself and the
principal of the matter. He cannot set the precedent of treating club women
like whores, nor can he disobey a direct order from me. If he doesn't come to
you tomorrow, I'll have to expand on his punishment for disobedience." His
gaze softened as it traveled up the length of my legs. "You don't seem too
upset by what he did anymore."
"I think talking to you right after, and having some time after the initial
shock wore off," I swallowed another sip of wine, "I realized there was
nothing really traumatic or awful about it. He didn't hurt me or coerce me,
really. I didn't ruin things with you. It's in the past now and I'm at peace with
it."
"So you did enjoy it then," he teased. "Shadow got a nice, fat cock for
ya?"
"Might I remind you that my feet are very close to your balls, Rory."
"And they'll be curling in ecstasy before you're done with that wine, sugar
lips." His fingers trailed up my calves with a devilish grin.
"Something I wanted to ask you," I gave my liquid courage another swirl,
"what rule did I break? You mentioned it in the bath that night."
Reaper's hands rested on my shins as his head leaned back on the couch
with a soft sigh.
"Sharing partners is taken very seriously in the culture I grew up in," he
explained. "It's almost on par with moving in together, or even engagement in
broader society. Outsiders thought we were total hedonists, addicted to sex
and fucking anyone we looked at. But that couldn't be further from the truth."
"It was a relationship," I said. "A serious one, just with more than two
people."
"Exactly," he nodded. "Our tradition was that the man would suggest
another person to bring into the love life and eventually, bedroom. Usually it
was someone the couple already knew and trusted."
"A mutual friend," I realized.
"Yes. Doing this was a sign that he trusted and loved his woman so much,
he felt she deserved the love of another person in addition to his. Another
partner to support her emotionally when the first man had other obligations.
Someone to please her sexually in ways the first could not, or just to double
her pleasure in general." He smiled broadly at that.
"That is fascinating," I breathed. "Didn't the men get jealous?"
"Sure, at times. But here's where the rules come in." He lifted a finger to
count off. "Each person in the primary couple had the right to veto other
partners. So if a woman wasn't into her man's suggestions, she could reject
them. Likewise if she started to like someone her man didn't approve of, he
could forbid that person from entering the relationship."
"I see." My brain soaked up this information like a sponge. I had no idea
societies like this even existed. "So because you didn't approve of Shadow..."
Reaper shrugged, placing his hands back on my legs. "I never considered
him for you, honestly. If he made you happy, I don't think I'd mind. That
doesn't seem to be the case, though." He turned his head to the side, looking
at me with sexy, hooded eyes. "That's all this is really about. Showing that I
trust you and I want you to be happy."
I had to take a moment just to sink into that, to sink into everything he
said. Was I happy? At that moment, holy hell yes. My life felt meaningful. I
had a community with friends, patients, and this man sitting across from me
who drove me nuts but I couldn't help but love and crave with every fiber of
my being.
Was being with Reaper enough for me? Again, yes. I’d had monogamous
relationships before and lived in a culture that put monogamy on a pedestal
all my life. I was confident I could be exclusively with him and him alone.
But was I intrigued and even a little tempted by this offer he put on the table?
Also yes. It felt like he set Pandora's box in my lap and cracked the lid open
for the tiniest peek. I wanted to see more of what was inside.
"So you have considered other partners for me?" I said.
"Thought of, yes," he said coyly. "It's entirely up to you to approve them,
though."
"Who?"
"I think you know," he teased, running a hand up to my thigh.
 "Jandro," I breathed. "And maybe Gunner?"
"Mm, lucky guesses." He nudged my legs apart to massage my thighs. "Is
it something you'd like to try?"
"How—“ My breath hitched, distracted by the firmness of his hands on
my flesh and moving higher up my legs. "How would you, or we, I guess, go
about asking them?"
"One at a time," he said, fingers circling into my leg muscles. "I think we
should ask Jandro first. He'd be more open to it. If anything, I think he's been
waiting for me to ask him. Then we'll see how you feel. You might decide
two is enough or that you want me all to yourself after all."
"Okay. We ask and then what?" I suddenly felt like a teenager asking for
dating advice—from my own boyfriend, nonetheless. "All three of us spend
time together? Or just me and him?"
"Whatever your comfort level is," Reaper assured me. "If you want me
around, I’m sure he'll understand. But if things go well, you two should spend
time alone to get to know each other."
I set my wine glass down on the end table and leaned forward to wrap an
arm around his shoulders.
"And you'll really be okay with that? Me going off with him and..."
His hands slid up to my waist, pulling me closer into his lap.
"If you come home to me all smiles with a post-sex glow, a dreamy look
in your eyes, and your legs all wobbly," he paused with a grin as I smacked
his chest, "then I know my woman is happy and well taken care of. How
could I be bothered by that?" His lips brushed my cheek until he reached my
ear. "And if I feel you scream with my cock down your throat because
another man is fucking you so good, you can't stop coming? Oh sugar, that'll
be the best."
"Turns you on, does it?" I nudged my leg against the bulge in his jeans,
growing thicker by the second. "Bringing other people in."
"You turn me on." He let out a lustful growl, running his hands up to cup
my breasts. "Your body gets me hard as a rock. The sounds you make drive
me insane. And I swear watching you come gets me so fucking high."
The last word barely left his mouth when I leaned in, dragging my lips
across his in a needy plea.
He answered with a deep rumble of a moan in his chest, holding the back
of my neck in place as our tongues lashed across each other as if fighting. His
lips nipped and sucked at mine, making them so sensitive and pulsing. He
moved my hand over his zipper, directing my strokes against his thick, solid
length straining to be freed. After another deep, bruising kiss, he pulled away
and gave me an order that made my core clench.
"Suck me."
A smile pulled at my lips. Sure, I'd do that. But my way. The Steel
Demons president had no idea what was coming to him.
His breath hitched as I undid the button on his jeans and pulled down the
zipper. Then my hand moved away, teasing the firm abdomen just above
where he wanted me to focus. My fingers skimmed higher under his shirt,
taking my time to trace the ridges of his stomach, ghosting over his nipples
before flattening over the smooth planes of his chest.
His green eyes locked on me, he lifted his arms to peel the shirt off. Once
it was gone, I feasted on his sexy tattooed skin with my eyes. This man was
dangerous. Feared. Respected. And he was completely, utterly mine.
I began my descent back down his body—this time with my mouth.
He let out a delighted hum as I kissed the hollow of his throat, just
between his collarbones, then dragged my lips lower to plant a kiss between
his pecs. Never losing contact with his skin, I slowed way down when I
reached his abs.
Now he let out a grunt of frustration, his hips shifting beneath me. I held
back a smile, dragging my tongue over each defined muscle at a snail's pace.
"God, I love that tongue, sugar, but I need it on my dick." His voice was
tight with restraint, his fingers curling in my hair to hold it away from my
face.
"I know."
I sucked hard next to his hipbone, leaving him a nice little mark there. His
cock was right under my face and I felt it twitch, begging for attention.
"Ugh, you are so bad," he groaned.
I kissed my way to his opposite hip, leaving a mark on that side, too,
before peeling his jeans and boxers down to reveal him, fully engorged and
absolutely mouthwatering.
"Ohhh fuck," he hissed when my tongue swirled the flared head.
I wrapped my hand around the base as my lips sealed over the crown of
his dick. His curses grew louder and more drawn out as I steadily took more
of him into my mouth.
But it seemed he had sneaky plans of his own.
He caressed my neck and back as I leaned across his lap. A shudder
passed through me as he groped my ass, then his fingers moved lower to the
back of my thighs. For a moment, he just teased the skin just under my cotton
lounge shorts. When his fingers moved to rub teasing circles between my
legs, I released a moan around his shaft.
"Yes, beautiful, tell me how much you like this," he rasped, stroking me
through the thin fabric.
I sucked him harder, shuddering with each swipe of pressure he applied to
my clit. He waited until I made a slobbery mess of his cock before pulling my
panties and shorts aside to touch me directly.
"Mm, you're soaked." His hand pulled away for one tortuous second and I
heard him suck his fingers before touching me again. "Wouldn't you like
another cock to fill you up while you suck me so good like that?"
I moaned the loudest I had yet, not only because his words were so filthy
and hot, but he chose then to dip two fingers inside me. The feeling
mimicked another man penetrating me and I found myself bucking against
his hand, pressing back to take more, deeper.
 "Greedy girl. You really do want two cocks, don't you?" He added a third
finger, stretching me to my limit. "You want a nice big one pounding you
while you please me with that tongue?"
I already started convulsing around him, but his thumb on my clit did me
in. I came hard, spasming around his fingers while I screamed around his
cock.
I barely recovered when he pulled my head up, withdrew his fingers from
me and pulled me roughly into a straddle position on his lap. He lifted me
with an iron grip on my waist and pressed me down in one fluid motion onto
his thick, rigid length already well lubricated in my saliva.
"So fucking good," he grunted out, arms around my waist as he drove up
into me. "So fucking perfect," he added with a rough kiss to my neck.
I was on top but the control was all his. All I could do was hold onto his
shoulders as his hips drove up like pistons, filling me up again and again until
we both came undone with shudders and moans. He stayed seated inside me,
fingers curled into my waist and face buried in my neck, until our rapid
heartbeats slowed.
"At the party tomorrow night," he panted with a kiss to my forehead.
"We'll ask Jandro then."
TWENTY-EIGHT
 SHADOW

"W here you been, man?"

I closed my eyes, counting Jandro's steps across the grass as he
approached me. Twelve. I was right again.
"I've been here."
I couldn't see his expression but I knew how he was looking at me—with
one eyebrow raised. He liked to do that a lot.
"You've already worked out today, dude. You're just avoiding the
inevitable."
I opened my eyes and turned to him, dropping the barbell I was using to
stretch.
"Come with me?" I asked. "I could talk to Reaper alone, but with her..."
"Mariposa."
"With Mariposa, I—what if she doesn't want to be alone with me and I'll
just make it worse?"
"Ugh, fine," he sighed. "I only have floor-to-ceiling's worth of fucked up
bikes to fix and part out, plus I gotta get the patio ready for the party tonight,
but I guess I can hold your hand while you talk to a girl.”
I stared at him, puzzled. "Why would you hold my hand?"
"I didn't mean literally, it's an expression. Anyway, you coming to the
party?"
 "No, I don't think so."
"Why not?" He tossed out a handful of grain to the chickens, who came
running over to peck at the ground where it landed. "You had a good time at
the last one, didn't you?"
"I did, but I have a drawing I want to finish."
"Oh, that's cool. A drawing of what?"
"Just something I saw in the desert while we were on the road."
Jandro nodded without saying any more. I knew other people would press
for more information and I appreciated that he didn't. He often annoyed me
with how much he pushed me to be social, but I knew he meant well by it. He
at least respected what I preferred to keep private.
"Shall we go to the medic's office?" he extended an arm to our home's
gate leading out to the street.
"I suppose," I grunted, pulling my shirt back on and loosening my hair
from its tie.
"Man, you're gonna get this over with," Jandro said as he led us out, "then
afterward, you're gonna wonder why you were so worried in the first place.
She's easy to talk to, trust me."
"No one is easy for me to talk to," I muttered. "Except you."
"Because I'm basically your dad, even though we're the same age."
I didn't know how old I truly was. My birth was never documented or
recorded. I had barely any sense of time growing up, except from what the
others told me before they disappeared. When I was taken to Jandro's prison,
I didn't have ID or even a name to give them. I stood silently in the corner
during intake, a full foot taller than everyone, so they called me Shadow. The
prison dentist looked at my teeth and estimated my age to be between twenty
and twenty-three. Jandro was twenty-one when we met, so he said we could
share the same age.
Back then, I never would have imagined I’d walk freely in the daylight
next to someone I considered a friend—nor eat big, filling meals every day
and learn to ride a motorcycle. Sometimes I still wondered if my life in the
Steel Demons was a dream, and my nightmares were my real life.
My hands started to shake as we got closer to the clubhouse, where the
medic’s office was. I couldn't tell if it was because I needed a drink or my
anxiety about this whole situation. Probably both.
"You good, dude?" Jandro asked.
"No. But you're not going to let me walk away from this."
"Damn straight," he said. "Least of all because it's an order from your
president, who will have both of our balls if you don't follow through."
"And most of all?" I grumbled.
"Because it's the right thing to do." He pulled open a door and led me in.
"Her office is this way."
My feet dragged over the floor like moving through concrete. I balled my
hands into fists in an attempt to stop the shaking. A sign sticking out above
the door ahead said MEDIC with a square red cross. And the door was
already open, fuck.
"Hey, Mari." Jandro's voice took on a different tone, the one he most
often adopted when talking to women, as he leaned against the doorway and
smiled into the room.
"Hey, Jandro! What brings you here?" came the cheerful, feminine voice
from inside.
"I'm just chaperoning," he smirked, looking at me before jerking his chin
toward the inside of the small office.
Shit. I really had to do this now.
My feet dragged forward until I reached the opening of the doorway and
turned to face the last person I wanted to see.
She sat on a stool with wheels on it, brown hair piled on her head in a bun
with a few wisps falling out. Her face no longer wore the pinched tiredness
from the night she was healing everyone. Instead, her eyes were bright and
she smiled easily. Even when I blocked her view of Jandro.
 "Hi, Shadow," Mariposa greeted me. "What can I do for you today?"
My mouth opened but words refused to work. It felt reminiscent of
coming out of my longest isolation period, when I hadn't spoken to anyone
for about six months.
"I, um..." I cleared my throat, my gaze darting around the room for
something to remind me of what I was supposed to say. "I would like to
donate blood."
Fuck. No, that was wrong. But it was the first thing that popped into my
head because she mentioned it at church yesterday.
"Okay, sure." Her smile widened at me as she gestured to another stool
like the one she was sitting on in front of a small, pull-out table. "You can
have a seat right there, and I'll walk you through it."
I looked back at Jandro and he lifted up a shoulder. His face looked like
he was trying not to laugh.
Mariposa prepared some things on the main counter where she sat, while
I maneuvered to where she directed me. The stool was far too small and low
to the ground for me, and the table felt like it would break in half if I leaned
on it too hard. So I stayed upright, trying to balance like a cartoon elephant
on a beach ball that I saw on a television once.
"I won't keep you too long, promise," Mariposa said as she wheeled over
to sit across the table from me. "First, I'd like to determine your blood type. I
just need a drop of blood from your finger, and my test kit will tell me in
about three minutes. Then the donation process will take about ten minutes.
Sound good?"
I nodded. Thirteen minutes. I would definitely live for the next thirteen
minutes.
Jandro was right. This wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. But I
still hadn't said what I came to say.
"Okay. Can I take your hand, please?"
I extended one arm across the table toward her, where she took my palm
and turned it face up. Her gloved hands were so small compared to mine.
A memory flashed of her bare palms splayed across my chest. They
looked so small then, too, and moved over my skin like they didn't want to
leave any part of my torso untouched. It felt so nice and different. I wanted to
touch her in return but couldn't bring myself to. None of the women before
responded well to my attempts.
She's not like them, I reminded myself. Jandro made that very clear. She
was Reaper's and therefore off-limits. I made a mistake and she was too
frightened to do anything but go along with what I started. Even now, as she
pressed something down over my fingertip and pulled it away, she was
probably filled with fear. Some women hid it better than others.
"All right, just a couple minutes for the antigen markers to show up." She
placed something on the counter and grabbed a small wad of cotton to press
over my fingertip.
Holding it there with one hand, she grabbed a band-aid with the other.
When she pulled the cotton away, a small drop of blood was on it. She
swiftly wrapped the band-aid around my finger and wheeled a few feet away
to her testing kit on the counter.
I sucked in a deep breath. It was now or never.
"I'm actually here because I owe you an apology."
She looked up at me with an expression I couldn't read, so I made sure to
continue on.
"I'm not around people very much and there are some things I still don't
understand." The words tumbled out now. It was slightly easier with my eyes
glued to the band-aid on my finger. "I misunderstood what you asked me the
other night. If I had known, I wouldn't have...done that."
She didn't say anything so I dared to glance up. Her eyes, a shifting
greenish brown color like Jandro's, met mine directly. There was no fear in
them. Not even the most stoic of men could fake that.
"It was wrong of me and it won't happen again," I said. "I'm sorry for
upsetting you and not knowing my place."
Mariposa's hands folded in her lap and a small smile returned to her face.
"I accept your apology, Shadow. There are a lot of things I don't
understand either, especially about life in an MC." Her head tilted to one side
as she lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Who knows? Maybe we can be
friends."
I blinked as a small jolt of panic hit me.
"I've never been friends with a woman before."
"Well, we're going to see each other around a lot," she answered. "It
would be easiest if we got along, right?"
"I guess so."
Her smile grew. The more she did that, the more I realized how pleasing
it was to look at.
"I won't be all up in your business, but don't be too surprised at me saying
good morning or hello to you."
She wheeled back to the counter and picked up her test kit. "Huh, that's
interesting. Your blood type is AB+. That's pretty rare."
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Basically it means you can receive transfusions from any other blood
type. However your blood can only be given to an AB+ person. So far, you're
the only AB+ I've documented in the club."
"So my donation is not needed?"
"Donations are always needed. A matching blood type always works best
in transfusion. If you'd still like to donate, you'd probably receive your own
blood in the event that you needed it."
"Okay." I glanced up at the clock near her ceiling. It would keep me here
longer than thirteen minutes. But now, I didn't mind that so much. "I'll still
donate."
"Great! You can leave your arm right where it is." She wheeled a few feet
away and pulled open a drawer to gather some things.
 I looked over my shoulder once again, surprised that Jandro hadn't
chimed in with his usual quips during our conversation.
Son of a bitch. He was gone.
I turned back just as Mari wheeled back over to me.
"I'm going to tie this here," her gloved fingertips skimmed over my
forearm to loop a piece of fabric around it, "let me know if it's too tight."
She made no mention of my scars, nor did she pay them any particular
attention. As she gently poked the inside of my elbow, I fought the nagging
want to feel contact without the barrier of her gloves. I'd never feel anything
remotely like her bare hands on me again, so I just had to accept it.
"You're going to feel a little poke," she murmured before piercing my
skin with the needle. Of course, I felt nothing but the pressure of it and the
sensation of my skin breaking.
My blood flowed through the tube and into the attached bag. The liquid
was dark, almost black, and I watched it pool and slowly fill the bag. I'd seen
my blood leave my body many times, but never like this. And never for a
reason that would possibly help me in the future.
Mariposa and I sat there together in silence. She didn't seem at all
bothered by being alone with me. Jandro probably left the moment I sat
down.
"You don't feel pain, do you?" she said after a few moments. "Physical
pain, that is."
I looked up at her, surprised. "That's correct. Not many people have
noticed."
"I had a hunch the other night when I sterilized your wound with vodka,
stitched you up without anesthesia, and got no reaction."
"Yes." I shrugged one shoulder the way Jandro did sometimes. "I suppose
I'm fortunate. A lot of men were suffering that night."
"I'll give you that," she leaned one arm on the counter. "But pain is
important, too. It's a signal to the brain that something is very wrong in your
body. You can push yourself past your limit without that signal to stop you."
"You're the medic, so I'm sure you are correct," I answered. "But my
inability to feel pain has only been an asset to the Steel Demons. It means
nothing holds me back when performing my duties."
She smiled at me. I swore I received more smiles from a woman sitting
here with her for the past ten minutes than I had in my whole life. Jandro was
right. She was easy to talk to. And easy to look at.
"You're also correct," she said, checking my donation bag. "Neither of us
have to be wrong, even if we see things differently. If you don't mind me
asking," she paused, eyes flicking up to my face, "how long have you not
been feeling pain, your whole life?"
"Since childhood." I paused to do a quick estimation in my head. "When I
was around twelve, I think. I felt pain before then."
Her gaze dropped to the scars on my arms and anxiety tightened like a fist
around my chest. I hoped she wouldn't ask. I didn't want to talk about it and I
didn't want to scare her if she pressed. I didn't need that demon riding around
on my shoulders today.
But all she said was, "Well, I don't blame you for being glad that you
don't feel it anymore."
Her hands moved swiftly, like two small birds, as she closed off the tube
and withdrew the needle from my vein. In the next moment, she pressed a
small piece of gauze inside my elbow and wrapped a bandage around to hold
it in place.
"Leave that on for a couple of hours and take it easy the rest of the day."
She rose from her stool to clean up, and was still shorter than me sitting.
"Make sure you eat enough and drink plenty of fluids, preferably not
alcohol."
I watched her place my bag of blood in a small refrigerator then looked
down at my arm. "That's it?"
"That's it, Shadow." She smiled at me again. "Easy, right?"
 "Yes. That was not at all unpleasant."
She laughed lightly, a sweet sound I wouldn't mind hearing again.
Nothing like the raucous sound out of some people's mouths that killed my
ears.
"Stop by if you need anything," she gave a slight eye roll, "medically-
related, as I'm sure you know."
"Yes, I know now."
She smiled in a way that made her eyes close slightly at the far corners as
she gave me a small wave.
"See you around, Shadow."
"I'll see you, Mariposa."
TWENTY-NINE
 GUNNER

I bore down harder on the accelerator, pushing my bike to its limit.

The wind whipped past me so fast, it felt like fingers clawing at my
face. And I still wasn’t going fast enough.
Horus nagged at the back of my brain just as I was leaving Uncle Jerry’s.
My consciousness slipped into his body just in time to see his talons dig into
the neck of someone I didn’t know.
The rider screamed, clutching at his neck as blood spurted out while
trying to bat at my falcon with the other hand. Horus flew away, the rider’s
jugular already severed, and gave me a bird’s-eye view of the mayhem.
There was Sheol, our home. And a battle waging just outside our gate.
Tash, you piece of shit motherfucker. Wait, where’s Mariposa?
Horus flew over the battlefield, soaring high but showing me every detail.
Shadow stood in his seat, firing two guns at bikers coming straight toward
him. Reaper was on someone else’s bike, not his own, Hades running
alongside.
My worry spiked as the one person I was looking for didn’t appear. All
the bikes kicked up shit tons of dust and even with Horus’s eyes, visibility
was shit.
Come on, baby girl. Where are you?
There!
 I didn’t see her at first because Jandro sat her in front of him—smart man.
A shot hit him in the shoulder and he jerked forward. Mari went to put
pressure on his wound and he yelled something at her, probably to keep her
hands hidden.
That was two days ago. I’d been riding all day and night, stopping only
for piss breaks and to refuel, but I was still too fucking far away.
I’d seen through Horus since then, and everyone seemed okay. But it was
wrong for me to not be there. Especially after finding out where Uncle Jerry’s
true loyalties were—wherever he would benefit the most.
I thought I could play the family card on him, even though I didn’t give a
shit about it. He harped about it ever since I was a kid. Take pride in your
family name, Gunner. You’re a Youngblood, one of the last truly powerful
American families. No matter what happens, you’ll always have your family.
I always knew it was a crock of shit, but he harped on it so much I
thought he actually believed it. But now I had to be the bearer of bad news to
Reaper—my trump card got us a steaming pile of nothing.
The night grew darker and I switched on my headlight. Any minute now,
I should be able to see the Steel Demons flag calling me home.
I wondered how much had changed in the time I’d been gone, if anything.
Who are you kidding, Gun? You’re just wondering if Mari missed you.
And if she still wants swim lessons.
My light picked up small bits of debris strewn in the sand, which I
carefully swerved and maneuvered around. This must have been where the
battle hit. The big pieces must have all been cleaned up, though, which
probably meant plenty of work for Jandro.
The sky was turning deep purple and navy blue, allowing me to barely
make out the black flag high above the gate. I felt more of a sense of comfort
and longing for my home here among these “thugs” than I ever did at any of
my family’s mansions. This was my real home.
As I drove closer, I pulled out a rifle strapped to my back in preparation
for the gate signal. But something caught my eye.
Around the side of the wall, I saw a figure with a motorcycle standing in
the darkness alone.
Curious, I veered off in that direction. There was nothing around Sheol
for miles, and no reason for anyone to be outside the gate by themselves. It
was probably nothing, but my captain of the guard instincts kicked in and I
followed the urge to investigate.
I drove up slowly. They’d hear my engine at any moment now, so it
wasn’t like I was sneaking up on anyone. As I got closer I saw another
person, this one standing with their back to the wall, apparently talking to the
person on the bike. It was too dark to make out faces, but my gut screamed at
me that something was fishy.
“Oh shit,” someone said.
The person against the wall took off running. The rider kicked off and
started speeding away. I just chuckled at the sheer amateur bullshit of this.
Sure, it was dark. But I wasn’t a weapons specialist for no goddamn
reason.
I aimed at the rider first, lining my sight up with the center of his back.
Dumbass didn’t even have enough sense to zig-zag.
The first shot hit him and he went tumbling off the bike, which crashed
right after he did. Another machine to part out for Jandro.
The rider was likely dead so I went for the runner next, aiming at his legs.
It took two shots but I had him flat on the ground, moaning in pain in
seconds. He wasn’t going anywhere, so I checked on the rider first. Yep, dead
as a doornail.
I didn’t recognize his face. Kicking his body over onto its stomach, his
back patch read Razor Wire MC. These fuckers again, the same club that
attacked us outside our home. Their emblem was a Jesus figure with barbed
wire around his forehead instead of a crown of thorns. Perhaps ironically, my
bullet hole landed right between Christ’s eyes.
 Now to find out who the fuck was the sneaky weasel talking to him. I had
a hunch I’d inadvertently found Tash’s bitch. At least I’d have some good
news to bring to Reaper if so.
Without the use of his legs, the guy tried crawling away on his forearms,
but obviously didn’t get very far.
“Aww, where you going?” I asked, delivering a kick to his ribs. “I just
started having so much fun.”
“Ah, God! Please…”
“Please what?”
“Please, don’t tell them. I’ll do anything…”
“Little late for that, bucko. Now let me see who’s taking Razor Wire and
Tash cock up the ass.”
I grabbed his pant leg and dragged him back around toward the front gate.
“Yo, Dallas,” I waved at the guard on duty. “Let me in.”
“Captain Gunner! Good to see you and glad you made it back.”
“Me, too, man. Me, too. Want to see who our traitor is?”
The sack of shit behind me moaned his protest as if his opinion mattered.
“No, please! Just let me explain to Reaper…”
“Oh shit, is that what you’re dragging?”
“Yeah, shine your light over here.”
He clicked on a large flashlight and aimed where I stood just as I flipped
the little bitch face up.
“You!” I cried in disbelief.
THIRTY
 MARIPOSA

T he clubhouse patio was livelier than the first party I attended.

Something about a battle just outside your walls and coming to a near
brush with death made a person that much more appreciative about
celebrating life.
People started drinking before the steaks even hit the grill. Children
chased each other around and even Hades joined in on the playing, while
their parents sucked face and toasted to another night together.
The whole time, my stomach fluttered at the thought of seeing Jandro,
what Reaper would say, and how his VP would respond. And once I got a
spiked lemonade in me, I even dared to wonder where the night would end
up.
“Relax, sugar.” Reaper slid an arm around me from behind, smacking a
kiss on my cheek. “Don’t be nervous. Enjoy the party.”
“I’m trying.” My fingers laced with his around my hip. “I just don’t want
to mess anything up.”
“You could never. Just go with what feels right.” He gave my ear a
playful nip. “Worst case scenario, you come home with only me.”
“Hm, I like the way you put that.” I smiled up at him, leaning back into
his chest as I started to sway to an upbeat song playing from somewhere.
“Where’s the music coming from?”
 “Check this out.” He took my hand and led me across the patio. “Dallas
collects these things. Isn’t this nuts?”
Noelle and Larkan sat on the loveseat next to a black rectangular thing on
one of the coffee tables, where the music was coming from. Or rather, she
was sitting more on him. Good thing, Reaper was in too good of a mood to
complain.
“Look at these, Mari.” Noelle handed me a stack of flat, square plastic
cases. “Our mom and dads used to play these bands all time.”
“Wait a minute, you mean that’s a,” I sorted through the cases, which
sure enough had round discs inside, “a CD player? A real one?”
“It has a radio and a cassette player, too. Dallas said he has a record
player in his house but it’s too valuable to bring outside,” Larkan added.
“Why did the old folks have to have the best music, huh?” Reaper asked,
taking the loveseat across from them and pulling me into his lap. He nuzzled
my ear, crooning the song currently playing. “With me it’s gonna be a good
story to tell. Cash, grass, and ass on the highway to Hell.”
“Hey, guys.”
I looked up, my heart jumping into my throat at the voice.
“Jandro, have a seat.”
Reaper scooted over to give his VP room to sit while subtly shifting me
over in his lap—putting me in the middle.
“Where’s Shadow?” I asked, noticing the large man usually with him was
absent.
"He wasn't in a partying mood, just wanted to chill at home tonight."
"Is he ever in a partying mood?" Noelle muttered, flipping through more
CD cases.
"Hey, he came out last time and helped me grill corn! That's a lot for
him."
"Sugar?" Reaper shot me an intense look that told me exactly what he
was asking.
 "He apologized in my office this morning," I answered. "All's said and
done. It's behind us now."
He visibly relaxed. "Good." His eyes flashed with mischief now as he
looked at me over his beer, and I knew easily what else was on his mind.
"So, uh," I turned to Jandro, my nerves eating away at me. "How are the
chickens?"
He nearly choked on his drink. "You say that like you haven't heard
Foghorn crowing at the ass-crack of dawn every morning."
"I actually haven’t.”
"She sleeps like the dead," Reaper shook his head at me. "I don't know
how."
"I was a war medic and traveled by bus everywhere! I learned to take
hard catnaps whenever I could."
"A little less catnap and a little more vampire," Reaper teased.
Noelle and Larkan chose right then to take a dip in the pool, and I knew
the inevitable was coming.
Reaper's hand slid across my back and my heart felt like it was going to
break out of my chest. I knew his touch was an attempt at being calming, but
it only made me hyperaware of what was about to happen.
"Jandro," he began. "There's something Mari and I would like to ask
you."
His VP's hazel eyes slid over to me, then back to him. "Yes?" he asked,
his tone and expression cool.
"We're wondering if you'd like to join our relationship," Reaper's hand
closed around mine. "As a second partner to her."
Jandro's eyebrows lifted but his expression remained otherwise
unchanged as his gaze returned to me. "This is something you want?"
I took Reaper's beer for a drink of courage and swallowed it down along
with the knot in my throat.
"I really appreciate you in my life, Jandro." My voice shook with nerves
and I took a steadying breath. "You've been there for me in times when he
hasn't."
Reaper nodded his agreement and I found the strength to keep going.
"You've protected me and listened to me. You were literally my shield
when we got ambushed and I don't take that lightly at all. I'm so grateful for
you, and I think we have...something worth exploring." My final breath
released like air out of a balloon. "This is completely new to me and I have
no idea what I'm doing. But I have to admit I'm intrigued by this dynamic that
Reaper's told me about, and as long as you're all happy, I'm willing to give it
a try."
"Like I said before, sugar," Reaper pulled my attention back to him, "this
is all about your comfort level and making you happy. You have the power
here."
"And if you're confused, talk it out with either one of us," Jandro added
before looking across me to his best friend. "I gather you've learned a few
things about listening and not flying off the handle, Reap."
"I'm a work in progress but I'm trying," he answered with an affectionate
glance to me.
"I've already seen a lot of improvement in Rory," I agreed.
Saying his real name combined with the venomous look he gave me
broke all of the tension of the conversation. Jandro slid off the loveseat and
onto the ground in peals of laughter and I couldn't help the giggles myself.
"Oh my God," Jandro gasped while clutching his stomach, "I'll say yes
just to see your fucking face when she calls you that."
"Is this what I have to look forward to?" Reaper grumbled, draining his
beer. "You two stooges laughing at my expense?"
"Yes," Jandro and I answered in unison and burst out laughing again.
"I take it all back."
"No takesies-backsies!" I smacked Reaper’s forearm, coaxing the
reluctant smile on his face that proved he was joking.
 Somehow in our giggle fest, I found myself leaning closer to Jandro as he
got back on the loveseat.
"So, what do you say?" I asked when the laughter died down and my
nerves came fluttering back with a vengeance.
Jandro shot me a charming grin, reminiscent of when I first met him.
"I think you should come closer and find out, Mariposita."
My first instinct was to look back at Reaper, to make sure this was okay
with him, but I kept my gaze forward. I already knew how he felt, now I just
had to figure it out for myself.
I leaned in and Jandro met me halfway.
The kiss was soft, only a peck at first like the rushed one he gave me at
the start of the ambush. He paused, his breath a light tingle on my lips before
I closed the distance again and opened up to him.
He met me for every beat, never taking the lead like Reaper, but just
matching me with gentle exploration. His lips were pillowy soft and his
tongue swiped across mine playfully, but never forcefully pushing into my
mouth. Just like any other time with him, kissing Jandro was lighthearted and
with no pressure.
When we paused for a breath, I felt a hand caress my nape. Reaper's hand.
I turned to him, not knowing what to expect on his face but he only
smiled at me before giving me one of his signature, domineering kisses. A
sharp thrill ran up my spine at the contrast between his mouth and Jandro’s,
and maybe just from the sheer fact that I was kissing two men.
He released me for air and Jandro stroked my cheek, prompting me to
turn to him where he awaited with a sly grin. This time, his tongue was more
adventurous, his kisses deeper and more passionate but still with the same
softness.
Reaper's hand kneaded my thigh as I kissed his vice president, his breath
tickling my neck before leaving a bruising kiss on my shoulder.
Holy shit, this was intense.
 My body didn't even feel solid anymore. I felt like I had to be melting
down to the floor with how fired up these two men made me. And this was
just kissing.
I broke away from Jandro, turning back to my green-eyed lover when a
loud pop made me jump.
"Gunshot," Jandro said immediately, jumping to his feet.
"Where? Inside the gates?" Reaper growled, leaning over to reach
underneath the couch.
"Guys, what’s—”
Pop! Pop! Two more shots fired.
"Stay here, Mari." Reaper pulled two handguns out from under the couch
and tossed one of them to Jandro.
"Better yet, go inside," Jandro told me. "Get all the women and kids
inside."
The music stopped and the mood shifted from celebratory to tense in an
instant. Men pulled weapons from all kinds of hidden places and ushered
their women toward the clubhouse.
"Wait a minute," Reaper squinted toward the front gate entrance. "Is that
Gunner?"
"Gunner?" I went to go see but Jandro blocked me with his arm.
"Hang on, let's figure out what's going on."
"Hah!" Reaper called out with a huge grin on his face and set his gun
down. "Look what the birdman dragged in!"
Hades went running down the street toward the main gate with Horus
flying right above him. Cheers erupted from the men now raising their
weapons in the air as they crowded around to hug the man coming up to the
clubhouse.
"A party in my honor? You shouldn't have," the blond demon laughed as
he and Reaper clapped an arm around each other.
"Welcome home, brother," Reaper playfully messed up his hair. "What'd
you bring me?"
"I brought you nothing but this was whispering to a Razor Wire right
outside the gate when I pulled up."
I only then realized he'd been dragging a man behind him, who left a long
trail of blood on the street all the way up to the clubhouse patio.
"Oh my God," I whispered, bringing my hands to my mouth. He'd been
shot in each leg and would bleed out without medical attention soon.
"Python," Reaper spat the man's name with disdain. "What were you
telling the Razor Wire, huh? Details from our church meeting?"
"Reap...please..."
"Where is the Razor Wire?" Jandro asked.
"Dead," Gunner reported. "Shot him in the back. Another bike for you to
part out, bro."
"Great," Jandro mumbled. “More work.”
Gunner's bright blue eyes focused on me for the first time and he shot me
that dazzling smile I didn't realize I missed so much. "Hey, baby girl," he said
softly.
"Hey, Gun," I returned.
"I asked you a question, you two-timing bag of shit!" Reaper grabbed the
man's shirt and dragged him to the nearest fire pit. There he pushed Python's
face next to the coals until he started screaming.
"The allies! I was telling him the other MCs we allied with and he was
going to send it up to Tash. Reaper, I'm so sorry..."
"Well, even if Gunner wasn't the best shot on this side of the Mississippi,"
Reaper yanked him by the hair away from the fire. "You still would've been
fucked, because I made those MC names up. I would've found you out sooner
or later, you fucking bottom feeder. So congratulations, Python. You’ll be the
first to find out what happens to those who betray the Steel Demons."
"Reaper." I stepped forward, saying his name loudly to make sure I got
his attention.
 "Yes, Mari?" he gave me a curious look in return.
"Do you need him alive? For the next day or whenever you deal out his
punishment?”
"Yes, maybe even for a week." The Steel Demons president lifted his chin
at me. "Why?"
"He's losing a lot of blood and may die if he doesn't get a transfusion. I
won't be nice but I'll heal him enough to keep him alive for your needs."
Reaper approached me slowly, a sinister smile growing on his face. Years
ago, maybe even a week ago, I would have feared that smile. Only days ago,
I feared what this man was capable of. What he may have done in the past
and what he had yet to do in the future to protect his people.
But now his people included me, and I only burned with passion and love
for the man cupping the nape of my neck, dragging his thumb across my
cheekbone as his green eyes locked onto mine.
I was still a medic. I would always do my best to save lives and heal the
broken. But I was no longer powerless in this broken down, collapsed
society. I had people I loved, friends worth protecting, and nobody was going
to hurt them without paying the consequences.
"That's my girl," Reaper said softly. "My Steel Demon girl."
 Epilogue

REAPER

I watched the smoke from my cigarette drift into the night air and fade into
nothing. The sky from my balcony was vast and speckled with stars.
One of the few times I paid attention in school was during an astronomy
lesson. The teacher said every time we looked at stars, we were looking at
thousands, maybe even millions of years into the past because light had to
travel so far to reach our eyes.
Most of those stars had burnt out by now, or collapsed in on themselves
to become black holes. I wondered if distant worlds faced rises and falls in
their own societies like we had, and if they corrected their ways before their
own suns died out.
Chaos and collapse wasn’t uniquely human, I was sure. But right now it
was peaceful. Tranquil, even.
Mari hooked Python up with fresh blood and stabilized him from
Gunner’s shots. She was worn out after that and wanted to come straight
home. I let her, only after a long goodbye kiss from Jandro. Some people
wanted to keep partying on the patio and they were free to. I thought about
going back after Mari went to bed, but apparently I wanted to sit on the
balcony and think about dying stars instead.
“Reaper.”
I looked over my shoulder to see Noelle in her silk kimono, hugging her
arms tightly around herself.
“What’s up?”
My sister looked at me nervously. “I dreamed about him again.”
I returned to facing forward with a sigh. “What do you want me to do
about this, Noelle?”
“Stop acting like it doesn’t mean anything, for one thing.”
“It doesn’t. It’s just dreams. He was our brother and you miss him.”
“Rory, you know they’re not.”
The cigarette paused on its way to my lips before I took a deep drag.
Unlike my woman, Noelle did not call me by that name to tease me. I heard
her slippered feet come up closer behind me.
“It’s not just dreams,” she repeated. “Daren is talking to me—”
“He’s dead, Noelle.”
“I know, but something about him isn’t. You remember all that stuff he
said—”
“A bunch of horse shit nonsense.”
“That came true!”
She walked around to stand in front of me, blocking my view of dead
stars.
“Tonight, he told me the love of your life would love four men, and that
you would lose her forever if you chose to kill one of them.”
“Yeah, that sounds like common fucking sense to me, not a prophetic
vision.”
“He said I would only love one man for the rest of my life,” she
continued, biting her lip. “I think he was talking about Larkan.”
“Fucking Christ, sis, you just met the guy! And what happened to him
just being a stray?”
“He said something else, too, and that’s what’s bugging me the most.”
“What?”
“That when we’re called upon,” her voice took on a harrowed tone, “we
must obey the order.”
“Called upon by who?”
Her eyes shifted to the sleeping dog lying next to me.
“The gods.”

TO BE CONTINUED TO BE CONTINUED IN FEARLESS - BOOK 3 OF

THE STEEL DEMONS MC SERIES.

CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER FEARLESS!

 Also by Crystal Ash

Series prequels (Free! Click to download)

Falling for the Wolf: A Shifted Mates prequel
Her 3 Demons: An Unholy Trinity prequel
Raised by Wolves: A North West Wolf Pack prequel

Steel Demons MC
Lawless

Shifted Mates Trilogy

Unholy Trinity: The Complete Series

Harem of Freaks series

For a complete list of books by Crystal Ash, visit her Amazon page.
 About the Author

Crystal Ash is a USA Today Bestselling Author from California. From an early age, she’s been
obsessed with magic, heart-wrenching love stories, strange animals, and the people who turn into them.

When she’s not writing, she’s probably in her garden of crazy-looking plants or drinking craft beer with
her husband and cat.

She loves interacting with her readers so don’t hesitate to reach out!

authorcrystalash@gmail.com
CrystalAshBooks.com