Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health

problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less
sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that many sugary products, especially processed foods and drinks, were responsible for are
responsible for many health issues. While many people think an increase in high-sugar product’s prices
high-sugar products’ prices can discourage the consumption of sugar, I believe that it is not the most
effective solution to control the consumption of sugary products.

On the one hand, many people over-consume sugary products, especially mass -produced foods and
drinks, due to its affordable prices. Studies have shown that sugar consumption is high among the low-
income population. Therefore, practices such as implementing taxes on sugar-sweetened beverages can
have particularly effective to decrease the sugar’s consumption in reducing sugar consumption for the
poor who are heavy consumers of cheap sugars.

On the other hand, although an increase in sugary products can control the sugar consumption to a
certain extent, it is not a comprehensive and long-term solution for all groups. This is mainly because this
consumption can be influenced by many other factors such as dietary habits and consumer’s awareness.
For example, due to the advertising of sugary products targeting on children, a huge consumption of
these products has been seen on in the young group, regardless of children from poor or rich families
regardless of whether children come from poor or rich families. As a result, educating people, especially
children who are more susceptible to the adverting, about detrimental impacts of unhealthy products
like high-sugar ones, which can help raise their awareness and make informed preferences.

In conclusion, while imposing higher prices has its own merits, educating and enhancing public
awareness about the unhealthy impacts of sugar-packed products can be more effective and sustainable
solutions. (chat GPT chấm 6,5 -7)

Strengths:
Clear Position: Your stance on the issue is clearly presented in the introduction.

Paragraph Structure: Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to a well-
organized essay.

Supporting Ideas: You provide specific examples and reasons to support your arguments.

Language Use: Overall, your language use is effective in conveying your ideas.

Areas for Improvement:

Introduction and Conclusion: Your conclusion could be more explicit in summarizing your main points and restating
your position. Consider reinforcing the importance of your chosen solution.

Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be refined for
better clarity.

Word Choice: Consider some minor improvements in word choice for precision.
Bài sau khi sửa theo ChatGPT (7,5 -8 band score)

It is a fact that many sugary products, especially processed foods and drinks are responsible for many health
issues. While many people think an increase in high-sugar products’ prices can discourage the consumption of
sugar, I believe that it is not the most effective solution to control the consumption of sugary products.

On the one hand, many people over-consume sugary products, especially mass -produced foods and drinks,
due to its affordable prices. Studies have shown that sugar consumption is high among the low-income
population. Therefore, practices such as implementing taxes on sugar-sweetened beverages can have
particularly effective in reducing sugar consumption for the poor who are heavy consumers of cheap sugars.

On the other hand, although an increase in sugary products can control sugar consumption to a certain
extent, it is not a comprehensive and long-term solution for all groups. This is mainly because this
consumption can be influenced by many other factors such as dietary habits and consumer’s awareness. For
example, due to the advertising of sugary products targeting children, a huge consumption of these products
has been seen in the young group, regardless of whether children come from poor or rich families. As a result,
educating people, especially children who are more susceptible to the adverting, about detrimental impacts of
unhealthy products like high-sugar ones can help make informed preferences for a healthier society.

In conclusion, while imposing higher prices on sugary products has its merits, a more enduring solution lies in
public education. Educating and enhancing public awareness, particularly among vulnerable groups like
children, about the unhealthy impacts of sugar-packed products is key to fostering informed choices for a
healthier society.

Bài sửa khác của ChatGPT (7.5 -8.5 band score)

It is an undeniable reality that numerous sugary products, particularly processed foods and beverages, have
been implicated in various health issues. While the idea of raising the prices of high-sugar products is often
considered as a means to curb sugar consumption, I contend that this is not the most effective solution.

On the one hand, a considerable number of individuals excessively consume sugary products, particularly
mass-produced foods and drinks, owing to their affordability. Research has consistently shown elevated sugar
consumption among the low-income demographic. Therefore, implementing taxes on sugar-sweetened
beverages could prove particularly effective in reducing sugar consumption, especially for those with limited
financial means who tend to be heavy consumers of inexpensive sugars.

On the other hand, while an increase in the cost of sugary products may have a certain level of control over
sugar consumption, it is not a comprehensive or sustainable solution for all segments of society. This is
primarily because sugar intake is influenced by various factors, including dietary habits and consumer
awareness. For instance, the advertising of sugary products targeting children has resulted in substantial
consumption among the youth, irrespective of their family's financial status. Consequently, educating people,
especially children who are more susceptible to advertising, about the detrimental impacts of unhealthy
products like high-sugar ones, can enable informed choices for a healthier society.

In conclusion, while imposing higher prices on sugary products has its merits, a more enduring solution lies in
public education. Educating and enhancing public awareness, particularly among vulnerable groups like
children, about the unhealthy impacts of sugar-packed products is key to fostering informed choices for a
healthier society.

1. Especially = particularly

Implicated (v) : to show that someone is involved in a crime or partly responsible for something bad that
has happened:

Ex: A lot of people were implicated in the scandal

2. Be implicated in = be responsible for
3. excessively consume= over-consume
4. elevated sugar consumption = high sugar consumption; consumption (không đếm được, không có
“the”)
5. those with limited financial means = the poor
6. cost (không đếm được) = prices (đếm được)
7. Sugar intake = sugar consumption
8. Irrespective = regardless