Happiness Trap: The ABCs of Happiness

Path towards a meaningful Life

KIRK HARRISON
 Text Copyright © Kirk Harrison
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 Table of Contents
Table of Contents 3
Introduction 5
Chapter 1. 6
DEMYSTIFYING THE ESSENCE OF HAPPINESS 6
The Practical Definition of Happiness 6
The True Measure of Happiness 8
The Four Levels of Happiness 9
The Essence of Happiness 11
Chapter 2. 12
THE THIN LINE BETWEEN HAPPINESS AND SADNESS 12
Wrong Approach to The Pursuit of Happiness 12
Why Many Do Not Attain To Happiness 14
Breaking the Link Between Your Pursuit of Happiness and Sadness 15
Chapter 3. 16
DELIBERATE EFFORTS AT IDENTIFYING YOUR HAPPINESS OBSTACLES
16
Sink Or Source: Identified Human Efforts That Are Proven Happiness Obstacles 16
Attaining Happiness As A State Of Being: Beyond Emotions 19
Chapter 4. 22
THE DRIVERS OF GENUINE HAPPINESS 22
The ‘How To’ Of Happiness 22
The Purpose Of Happiness 25
The Derivable Value From Living A Happy Life 25
Chapter 5. 27
THE CHOICE OF HAPPINESS 27
How To Choose Happiness 27
Complementary Daily Habits To Maintain Happiness 29
The Interconnectivity Of Happiness And Meaningful Life 30
Chapter 6. 32
THE INFINITE INFLUENCE OF HAPPINESS ON YOUR WORLD 32
The Far-Reaching Influence Of Kindness And Happiness In A Cruel Society 32
The Happiness Spillover Effect 33
Conclusion 34
References 35
Introduction
The will or the desire to receive happiness constitutes the entire matter of human
existence, from its beginning to its end. This will drive all we do with all our thoughts.
This is not restricted to the continual need to achieve happiness. It is the same reason you
find that all of human’s efforts in life are geared towards the quest for happiness because
it is the ONLY thing we seem to seek for its own sake. This is also one of the only
reasons for actions that do not need any further justification: it is simply happiness is
good because happiness is good – nothing else is required and nothing less is sufficient.
Everything else we do, in some way, is motivated by a desire to be happy.
In spite of the fact that it is hard to know how to define or achieve happiness, the
prevalence of it as a lifelong goal by almost every living human cannot be denied. More
and more areas of life are being assessed by their contribution to the fantasy of happiness.
The world is not “unhappy”, it is only filled with people who do not know how to choose
happiness. Today, there is a BIG mix in the world – to choose between happiness and
sadness – and everything in between. This is one of several spectrums of humans. But
you can choose to go with any perspective of your choice.
The following lines that make up, in part, the sixteenth track of a song by John
Shuttleworth in his album titled The Yamaha Years indicates that this is a known fact. It
goes:

How to be happy in a sad, sad world

Is to know that it’s really not a sad, sad world
(No, it’s a nice world, for most people)

The e-book you have before you Happiness Trap: The ABCs of Happiness (Path
Towards a Meaningful life) was written to help you crack the Happiness Formula by
uncovering the fundamental fact that happiness can truly be felt using a principle that is
particular to you even when it is different from the world’s formula and position you so
you’re well on your happiness path towards a meaningful life.

Bringing you true happiness is the desire and it is just around the corner, waiting for you
to learn how to feel it and plunge in deep.
 Chapter 1.

DEMYSTIFYING THE ESSENCE OF HAPPINESS

To say that time and culture have had impact on the meaning attached to the word
“happiness” and the expression of it would not be taking away the fact that it remains a
powerful concept, however nebulous the cultural evolution and societies, varying
meaning by individuals might have had on it.

Happiness, a word that expresses a certain feeling we have that has played huge roles in
shaping many people and how they are perceived or received by others, has continued to
play key roles in our personality. But does its meaning apply to every scenario we can
think of? Without doubt, happiness makes an integral part of our lives, and goes as far as
having a huge impact on the way we live our lives. And despite having different
meanings to different people, it goes without saying that the basic and real nature of
happiness is still significant and important, and as such, worthy of being explored.
The Practical Definition of Happiness

Image: The above is the report of a survey on the words mostly associated with happiness
by folks like you.

Several times you have probably said to yourself or to friends, “I just want to be happy”,
but if you are asked what this happiness you wish for is, you might find yourself
struggling to find words to express it. The findings above are a representation of people
like you in this category, so obviously, you’re not alone.

Maybe the best place for a good start at defining happiness is by defining what happiness
is NOT so as to lead us to what happiness is.

Countless times we have taken happiness as having fun, or experiencing the thrill and
passion of a delicious dinner, or a hunky dory feeling that comes with having all the
money you’ll ever want, or about refusing to see the negative stuff in the world. There is
a common truth that happy people have fun. But a lot of people have fun who are not
happy.

While all of these are all marvelous experiences, but they are not all there is to happiness,
they might be a part of the loop, but definitely not the final destination. In other words,
happiness and fun are not synonymous.

Then, if happiness is not synonymous with fun, what then is happiness?

While there are many and diverse definitions of happiness, the common description is
that it is an involvement of positive emotions and life satisfaction. Therefore, happiness
can be rightly put as a state of emotion which is qualified by feelings of satisfaction, joy,
fulfillment, and contentment.
Across cultures and time, happiness has been defined by different people and at several
times. Aristotle, one of the greatest Greek philosophers of his time, would define
happiness: "as the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human
existence".

By this, Aristotle posited that our lives’ activities are connected with our happiness. It
means that happiness forms the foundation for a life filled with fun, as well as a life of
challenge. If the foundation is absent or severely damaged, everything in the world will
not replace what is missing properly.

The Merriam Webster dictionary further defined happiness as; i.) "a state of well-being
and contentment;" and ii.) "a pleasurable or satisfying experience". Happiness is
perceived by Merriam Webster as both a state of well-being that is resident first in us and
only a result of our inner being, and at the same time described as an experience which
could be fleeting as we are bound to have several experiences within seconds.

With the diverse meanings people have given to happiness, it becomes clear that they
emerged from how they feel per time. This shows that your own happiness is not the
same as mine, and so also is the meaning we attach to it. By this, you must begin to
realize that you have a unique personal sense of happiness because what makes you
happy may not necessarily make someone else happy. Hence your happiness definition
changes over time and is unique to you. Therefore, you must define your “self-
happiness” if you must begin the journey to your happiness Path towards a meaningful
life.

In many scenarios, the term " self-happiness" is not often used, but it is used to mean the
satisfaction or happiness you have with yourself. Self-happiness is used in place to mean
self-confidence, self-esteem, and other concepts that wraps "self" with happiness and
contentment.

Overall, this means you're happy with yourself and with the person you are. This is what
you must determine to give definition to.

The True Measure of Happiness

Merriam Webster described happiness "as a state of mind". It is a question of being

happy or feeling well. It is purely relative and cannot be measured. While some people
can get one piece of bread for themselves and still be happy, others may not find
happiness even when they can afford getting a Ferrari or the best available gadgets.
It has already been established that there is no actual and concrete definition of happiness
as each person has his or her own version. In like manner, happiness is not measured by
your status. As you cannot say that the rich are happier than the poor and vice versa, in
much the same way, you cannot pin happiness down to a particular spot, else you fall into
the happiness trap of others. That is due to the fact that the feeling of being happy is
relative and the ways to measure it are different for everyone.

However, as you can find a personal definition of happiness, in the same vein, you can
measure your personal happiness by deliberately considering what makes you happy each
day. This will quickly help you to find out that your definition of happiness evolves every
day, week and year.

Below are some few points you can look into in taking a measure of your happiness

Personal measurements:

● Rate yourself in intervals of 3 hours on a scale of 1 to 10 everyday.

● Evaluate the role your expectation is playing in building your happiness.
● Focus on what is happening now and how what you are doing has a purpose on
or for your happiness.

Professional measurements:

● Rate the difficulty level of your professional involvement.

● Examine if your job gives you joy.
● Consider how much your job contributes to your survival.
● See beyond your day job and see what more you can do for your likings. Learn
new things if possible.
This will allow you to constantly learn from your own happiness definition. By this, you
can purposefully steer your life in the best direction possible.

The Four Levels of Happiness

Different levels of happiness exist for man to attain: there is joy to excitement, from
gratitude to pride, these also optimism to contentment and love, and so on. Everybody
has something unique to them that makes them happy. As you gain a better understanding
of yourself and become more self-aware, you can achieve a new level of happiness.
For the purpose of this e-book, I will be revealing four (4) different levels of happiness
that you can attain in your life. These four levels of happiness gives you an insight of
your personal priorities, and how you relate to others. The lower levels of happiness
(Levels 1 and 2) correspond to more immediate emotions while happiness at higher levels
(Levels 3 and 4) are more rational and linked to your personal values and ethics.

Happiness level 1: Laetus – Happiness from materialism

Level 1 happiness involves simple, sensual, external-based gratification. This level of

happiness is characterized by being short-lived and shallow. People who are completely
focused on Level 1 risk hitting a crisis in which life appears shallow and without
meaning. While not intrinsically bad, getting stuck at this level of happiness is an
invitation to depression.

Regardless, nothing is wrong in enjoying what level 1 has to offer to you. But only if you
don't forget that there are other levels with much to offer.

Happiness level 2: Felix – Ego gratification (Passion)

The Level 2 happiness refers to the happiness derived from comparison: being better and
more admired or achieving than others. Being enthusiastic about anything, whether it's a
hobby practiced only at your pastime or gaining accolades at work, can be a great source
of happiness. And to some level, everyone enjoys the admiration that comes with
winning. Although people differ greatly in terms of how competitive they are. For some
people, competing and winning is everything; while for others, it is a tiny and fleeting
pleasure. However, this clamor for admiration is generally motivated by a desire to
appease your ego.

While it is true that passion is needed to gain self-confidence, you must, however,
exercise caution as excessive concentration on comparison and self-promotion risk to
alienating others around you which could result in obsession with winning, a product of
self-absorption, jealousy, cynicism, and oppression of others.

Happiness level 3: Beatitudo – Happiness Of Purpose (From doing good,

helping others, and making the world better)

The human need for connection, kindness, purpose, compassion, friendship, and unity
underpins this level of happiness. At this level, there is a shift of your attention away
from yourself onto the well-being of others. In essence, your pleasure is dependent on the
happiness of others.

It comes with the feeling of having your talents and skills being deployed to serve others
and the realization that you are part of something bigger. This level of happiness comes
with a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and long-term happiness, and a feeling that their life
has meaning.

This level comes with a deeper, and long-lasting happiness that blossom as you continue
to serve the world and make impact positively.

The limitations of level 3 happiness, however, can be attributed to human flaws. Nobody
is flawless, and human relationships are fraught with disappointment, jealousy, and the
possibility of being wounded. But realistically, that is just as normal as life can be.

Happiness level 4: Sublime Beatitudo – Ultimate Happiness

The hardest level of happiness to define is level 4 because it entails a quest for
completeness and perfection. This level comes with an inborn desire in all humans to
obtain perfect beauty, love, goodness, and truth. It entails having a perfect balance
between the other level of happiness, and even more. It can also be painted to be as a call
for connecting to the vast universe.

Some people satisfy this urge through spirituality or religion, while others provide
answers to some of the most pressing problems of life through philosophy, art, or
scientific research. There is no particular solution to follow. You decide on the path to
follow after discovery.

The Essence of Happiness

People have their perspectives on everything, whether actual or abstract, and sometimes,
it may be off. These perspectives are mostly influenced by experiences, culture, norms,
beliefs, theories, and the thought of words passed down from generation to generation. So
the ‘truth of truths’ is a collective effort. What about discovering and understanding the
truth of happiness? Happiness refers to the emotion, mood, and state of being happy.
However, the meaning changes from one person to another, from one experience or belief
to another, and so forth. As a result, it is relative.

The essence of happiness, however, can be pinned down to this: to simplify life and make
it worth living. Simple life fosters critical thinking and leads to a sense of fulfillment.
Contentment provides us with inner richness, including mental and spiritual wealth.
Truth, beauty, love, goodness, kindness, and charity are among the values that a satisfied
man commits himself to. A man can experience real happiness by pursuing and
inculcating these characteristics.
The goal of happiness, according to a writer named Bergsma A. in 2004, is to minimize
pain and suffering while at the same time maximizing fun. It is such that you view
poverty as a misery and therefore will strive hard to decrease it and succeed so as to
enjoy the bliss of this life. The concept behind the author's definition is that there is a sort
of mathematics of happiness – taking away discomfort and adding fun, either for
yourself, or achieving the same for others.
This is what life is about, to live simply and enjoy the result of your effort.
 Chapter 2.

THE THIN LINE BETWEEN HAPPINESS AND SADNESS

This era of internet and social media has been a propagator of euphoria more than any
other time. Lack of constant euphoria like others and having no life ‘highlights’ to show
could be considered un-happy, leading to interpretation of a normal, neutral state as
sadness. The tendency to forget that life isn’t a continuous flow of excitement,
exhilaration and euphoria is rife.

One feature that is common to all humans is the quest for happiness. Many people feel
that happiness is a far-fetched experience, rather, despair and content is more within the
reach to sink into. In most cases, people resort to using destructive and damaging
alternatives such as drugs and alcohol to conceal suffering. Hence, it is safe to say that
happiness happens to be the closest thing we have in our contemporary society to a
summum bonum, the highest good from which all other goods flow. Invariably,
unhappiness (or sadness) becomes the summum malum, the greatest evil to be avoided by
this rationale. There are indicators to suggest that the compulsive pursuit of happiness in
our world today has a higher risk of depression, and it’s a trap.
Wrong Approach to The Pursuit of Happiness

In a world that is filled with people in pursuit of happiness, we often still see people fall
into depression here and there. This is surprising, but a closer look will clear the air. No
one desires the feeling of sadness, or worst of all, depression. As you explore the idea of
happiness, know that it may also be unbelievably overwhelming. You as an individual
want to be happy. It therefore makes perfect sense for you to pursue materials,
relationships and goals that you think will make you happy. In American culture, the
pursuit of happiness is so essential that one of the three fundamental rights inherent to all
people is entrenched in one of the foundational documents of the country, right to life and
freedom and the pursuit of happiness.

Here are 3 Surefire ways that will land you in happiness trap, the same path many are
treading:

i. Comparing your achievements with others’

We are in a world where you are constantly inundated with good pictures from the
life of others, you might begin to compare your achievements and rate your happiness
level lower than those you see. This could be a trigger to feelings of inadequacy
which could cause a decline to sadness and finally depression which may have to do
with emotional regulation strategies deployed as an emotional tactic.

ii. Unchecked happiness

Moreover, it is said that too much of everything is bad. The same applies to
happiness. Happiness comes with a fantastic feeling, but when it is uncontrolled and
permitted, it could lead to a sense of false expectations to precarious behaviours.
Unchecked happiness has led many to their doom, destruction and eventual death.

Reports of a recent research conducted both in the United States and in the United
Kingdom show a negative connection between exclusively valuing happiness and
experiencing depressive symptoms. The implication of this is that the more people
pursue happiness, the more likely it is that they would develop depressive symptoms.
The focus is about valuing happiness, yet a lot of people give more focus to negative
emotional emotions than positive ones.

The reason the pursuit of happiness could likely lead to sadness is because no one
gets everything that they want out of life all at once. People miss out on expectations
from time to time. And this, except a proper definition of self-happiness discussed
earlier in this book is done, could lead to a slip into depression.
 iii. Ignoring other emotions

It is also plausible that the negative relationship between happiness and depressive
symptoms relates to the high priority given to happiness. It is vital to remember that
happiness is only one of many possible emotions. You must begin to realize that
while it is natural that people feel happiness, it is also equally normal that they have
other feelings different from happiness such as:

● Sadness

● Loneliness

● Fear

● Anger

Realizing that by trying to suppress or ignore the other numerous unpleasant

emotions, they won’t get dealt with or processed properly in you, and that can result
in depression. And so, must be avoided. And instead, accept that happiness is not the
only emotion that you can have and rank it more equally with your other emotions,
this could do the magic and you could be less likely to experience symptoms of
depression.

Why Many Do Not Attain To Happiness

Human needs are insatiable, the knowledge of Economics teaches you that. However, in
our world today, human needs are not only insatiable, but they are as universal and
timeless, as they are becoming ever more elusive and challenging to acquire and
preserve, even while we grow in this time-crushing, technological world.

In a 2016 survey conducted by Forbes on the question of the top 8 things people
desperately desire but can't seem to attain, happiness raked in the highest entry to be
ranked No.1, pointing to how happiness has become hard and elusive to achieve, and
even harder to maintain. Many even go as far as pursuing hard after happiness while
forgetting everything else.

The renowned psychologist Victor Frankl once said, “It is the very pursuit of happiness
that thwarts happiness.” In other words, according to Frankl, the very reason many do
not attain happiness is because they focus on being happy. This is because the harder you
try to be happy, the unhappier you become. Happiness is only a goal to you in life when
you are currently not happy. Happiness is not about something you possess or have, it is
what you're doing. Happiness is what you make of what you have. You will never have it
in the future if you do not have it today. That's because now you don't have it because
you didn't make it.
Breaking the Link Between Your Pursuit of Happiness and
Sadness
It is a subject in several groups and by many opinion leaders that the pursuit of happiness
may sometimes leave you unhappy. Too much happiness may make you naive,
egotistical, or even less prosperous. Surely, happiness has advantages beyond feeling
good, but such pleasant moods, when left uncontrolled and unchecked, can go overboard,
and so need to be moderated.

Happiness is likened to food, which, while necessary and useful, may cause difficulties if
consumed in excess. Excessive happy sensations can predict risk-taking behaviors,
excessive drinking and drug usage, binge eating, and may lead you to ignore threats.

An attempt to be insanely happy regardless of the circumstances or situation is what you

find in many today. This actually makes such people one of the most dysfunctional
people you’ll know. Because denying negative emotions leads to deeper and more
prolonged negative emotions and emotional dysfunction.

You have to come to terms with the fact that negative emotions are as necessary as they
are healthy to the maintenance of a stable baseline happiness in your life. It is a simple
reality of life that shit happens. Things go wrong every day. People upset you day in and
day out. Mistakes are made and negative emotions arise. Don’t beat yourself up for such.

The way out, in what I have chosen to call the sadness-happiness negative emotion link-
breaking is simple:

● Express your negative emotions in a way that is of good health, and that is
acceptable in a social way.
● Express the negative emotions; making them just expose your belief system.

By breaking the allure of this obsessive positivity you’d have broken the link and be on
your way to gaining a grasp of your own happiness.
 Chapter 3.

DELIBERATE EFFORTS AT IDENTIFYING YOUR

HAPPINESS OBSTACLES

It has already been established that everyone wants to be happy. However, this might
appear much easier said than done most times. We can desire happiness so much
sometimes that we don't even realize what an influence it has on us or that we are already
doing something wrong. Pursuit of happiness can lead us to committing some of the very
happiness sins while on our pursuit.

Little things can make a huge impact in the way we are happy or unhappy. But how do
we pinpoint what these happiness obstacles are? In this chapter, I have revealed what
some of these obstacles are and how they affect our happiness so that we can start talking
about them in our own lives. If we avoid these things, we might soon find that in our
daily life we are much happier.

Sink Or Source: Identified Human Efforts That Are Proven

Happiness Obstacles
There is no one that sets out on the pursuit of happiness hoping to be unhappy in the line
of the desire. It's never a thing planned for, however, we have somehow found it
happening day after day. This issue of finding what not to sort in happiness is something
that always shoots out of the little things that we fail to pay attention to along the line or
even totally neglected.
Here are some of the most critical happiness obstacles I’ve discovered. So grab a seat and
let's read on....

1. Excessive Retrospection
If I were to ask you a question, what good has it ever done you to be concerned
about things that happened in the past? None right? That is because overthinking
the past gives the problems you're thinking about a new life in the present, thereby
sapping your current happiness. Leave it in the past, to where it belongs–the past.
2. Living in the Future
In much the same way you do not want to focus on the past, you also should not
waste your time worrying about things that may or may not occur in the future. If
you're focused on achieving certain goals, think about them. However, if you're
continually worried about what could happen in the future, you're stopping yourself
from being as happy as you might be right now. To get the most happiness in the
present, be present in the moment.
3. Becoming Fixated on What Should Have Been
Many individuals do this often, and maybe you do too–you create a mental picture
of how your life should play out, and when it doesn't turn out that way, you’re
disappointed and upset. Life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to, that is
something we all need to accept. Life is always on the move, and perhaps not as
you have pictured it, but in the way it meant to be. You only have to remember that
you often have no control over the music life plays, but you do have control over
how you choose to dance to it.
4. Attempting to outperform
Another key happiness obstacle is a continual crave to outperform. Perfectionism is
something that can hinder you from being your happiest version. It reduces your
happiness level as it makes you particularly needy.
Instead, you should attempt to focus much more on doing only the things that are
vital rather than trying to cram every day full of performing too many activities to
perfection. The vital lesson to learn is that if you don't finish something by the next
day, the world would not end.
5. Lack of direction
Without a direction, it is possible you would not know where you’re headed, and
this can leave you feeling empty. You have to set some real goals for yourself and
strive for those amazing sensations of happiness, achievement, and pride.
6. Having the Fear of Missing Out
I’m sure you can confirm that dwelling on missing out is a royal waste of time and a
happiness obstacle. In a world of social media, it is easy seeing yourself monitoring
all of your friends and where and what they are up to and then end up feeling
depressed for no apparent cause. You cannot operate your life based on the
achievement or the pace of others. You are in a class of your own. There is just no
way can you accomplish everything all the time, therefore you have to be content
with missing out on something at some point. Be happy and celebrate even the not-
so significant fact that you are alive right now. This moment, and who you are, are
perfect.
 7. The Desire to Be Accepted
Do you constantly seek to fit in? This might harm your happiness as well in ways
you never can imagine. By thinking about what others think of you and striving to
conform to them, you waste a lot of energy and inner peace. You have to believe in
yourself first and foremost to genuinely be happy.
8. Devaluing Happiness
There is no great deal of priority given to happiness in this regard. Individuals
forget all about happiness as they go about their everyday life. While focusing on
the pursuit of it is in itself a happiness sin, looking not towards it wouldn’t help
your cause either.
9. Chasing Superiority
This is the drive that you have that makes you want to be better than others. This
drive could lead you to social comparisons that tend to assess you in relation to
others, generally on wealth, power, appeal and celebrity. This trend is one of the
greatest killers of happiness.
10. Unrealistic expectations
Your expectations, above all else, shape your reality. Also, the people around you
have an influence on your expectations, and therefore, on your happiness level. You
alone shape and stretch your expectations into reality. Emotionally and physically,
they may transform your life.
The following expectations can be Happiness obstacles:
● Everyone should like me: While this is what you desire, but sorry to burst
your bubble, they are not going to, just as you can attest to it that there are
people you know you don't like. Concentrate instead on winning your trust
and respect.
● People should agree with me: You must realize that people may not always
agree with you even when your answer is the right answer because being
right is not always right. We tend to take others’ words and behaviors
personally when often, it is about them not us. Don’t expect people to
always think and act just like you, and when they don’t, don’t feel hurt or
angry.
● People understand what I am saying: Obstruction to happiness can be
based on assumptions, as it is with expectations. People don't just
understand you even if you talk. Listening really to someone with empathy
develops comprehension, while projecting our own mental filters and world
views onto others generates misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
● Things will make me happy: You can’t know what will make you happy in
the future. If you asked the question, what is it that makes you happiest right
now? Whatever answer you give now may not cause you happiness in the
coming weeks as you adapt to your circumstances which become the new
normal.
● I can change them: You can really change only one person in this world –
and that is yourself. And this requires a lot of effort. The only way people
 change is through desire and by what they change. You can't "fix" people,
and you ought not to.
● Life should be fair: Life should be fair, yes. But that is not the case. Not at
all. Good individuals have bad things for no cause at all times. You will
never have to deal with difficulty or challenges and will never be able to
cope with the human experience when it comes.

To be factual, 5 of the first 9 of the above-listed happiness obstacles are expectation-

based. This goes to show that expectation has the most contribution to your happiness
obstacles, and so, should be arrested as soon as possible. You should learn to let go of
unrealistic expectations and walk into an open road that unfolds right in front of you, one
full of new possibilities, ready and waiting for you to create your own happiness path and
being the journey towards a meaningful life.

In order to live your best and happiest life, you need to make an effort in addressing some
of these attitudes. By tackling some of these happiness obstacles, you may as well feel
much more bubbly and delightful.

Attaining Happiness As A State Of Being: Beyond Emotions

Often, when asked to classify happiness, we generally do not think it qualifies to be
classified as a state of mind. This is because we see happiness as only an emotion, which
is mostly transient and reliant on a certain event(s) or experience(s).

When the question comes to you now about how happy you are in your life, you’d
probably relate whatever you are giving me back to something you celebrated some time
ago. Or the last time you had a good time with your family and/or friends. Perhaps yours
was a birthday, or that moment your close ally surprised you by showing up at your door
when you had believed that they were out of town. Or even the feeling of the butterflies
you felt in your tummy on the night you met your future spouse.

Meanwhile, there are few people who sees happiness in events or experiences.

If I may ask again, did you take time to think about what you were actually implying by
classifying your happiness as an emotion that occurs only through things or people or
events that happen in your life?

However, true happiness is far more than the momentary emotions we feel at an instant.
Happiness may be a real state of mind, and it can be achieved by just deciding to be
joyful. If you wait until you have happiness, how can you ever know when you will be
happy?
While happiness is most times fleeting in our lives, it does not imply that we cannot have
a regular basis of happiness that is relevant for our daily lives. Being truly happy doesn't
imply you sit around waiting or expecting something to come along and bring happiness
to your life. It entails taking the time to understand that you have to make yourself happy.
By living this way, you can make happiness a true part of your everyday life.
Here are four reasons happiness is more than an emotion:
i. It comes from within

Happiness is an ‘inside job.’ You can't wait for something or someone outside of you
to 'make' you happy. Talks like ‘I'll be glad only when or if...’ Although the fact that
interesting things happen is a wonderful bonus in the mix. The fact remains that you
will never be happy if you always put it in the future, but it will always remain there –
in the future.
ii. It is more than a fleeting sensation

Happiness is an art you can cultivate. You decide what you want to concentrate on
every moment or to impress in your mind. Either you generate the same emotional
sensations from your previous experiences, or you can decide to release them and be
totally present.
For you to build a great feeling of connection between you and people, you should be
on the lookout for good elements. In order to build up a feeling of connection with
people and with yourself, you should be in the lookout for great elements. This will
allow you to show fresh experiences of delight and unexpected marvels.
While your mood can be boosted with some healthy foods or supplements, when you
choose to have a calm, peaceful, and a positive state of mind, happiness can become
resident and your state-of-being.

iii. It is a decision you can make

We all seek for that promised pursuit of happiness, yet many people might find the
pursuit difficult. The secret of happiness – and of being happy — is to make up your
mind to be happy. You accept it as a fact and let it flow through you.
You will uncover all the things that happiness already means to you – like pleasure,
serenity, love and beauty – rather than the rush to hunt for happiness.
iv. It is a mental state we must achieve

We think of happiness as a feeling of euphoria because we believe that happiness must

come with a wow effect. When we do that, we're ready to fail because it is neither
realistic nor sustainable.
True happiness is a mentality. It is the ability to accept and customize what life has
given you. Ideally, happiness entails having a loving living, filled with meaningful
existence.
 It presents all the little joys and blessings, even in the face of big problems and
heartbreaks that arise every day. You decide to concentrate on wonderful things rather
than on unpleasant things.
You can truly choose happiness.
Discerning happiness from the standpoint of a state of mind, and not just emotions, would
mean that you will know how to depend on yourself rather than others for your
fulfillment. You will only hope to share your happiness with others once you are happy
on your own because if you fail to, unhappiness may re-emerge and express itself in
terrible ways.
 Chapter 4.

THE DRIVERS OF GENUINE HAPPINESS

The deliberate study of happiness has exploded in recent years, bringing more attention to
it than had ever been given. With the recent searchlight beamed on the topic, it has
become imperative to take a look at a few things that can build up or boost your personal
happiness. In this e-book, I will be drawing from sources of wisdom in the hope of
helping you identify the building blocks of happiness and placing you on your happiness
path towards a meaningful life. While this might be a tough call, particularly because the
factors differ from person to person as we have already established that what makes you
happy may not necessarily make the next person happy, it is however an attempt at
revealing the varying approaches to you in the hope that you will be able to.

The ‘How To’ Of Happiness

Contrary to popular belief, happiness is not derived from the acquisition of more goods.
Happiness is better built rather than by waiting on events. Happiness results from our
thinking pattern; the relevance we place on events, what we choose to give our attention,
the ideas that becomes acceptable to us, and how we give response to everyday
obstructions, play major roles in establishing our basic level of happiness. However, the
"drivers of happiness" are innate traits in our psyches that can be cultivated to provide
real effects.

Here are some major happiness drivers:

1. Self-Love
You can always count on love to provide you long-term happiness. Love always
triumphs, regardless of where you are or how much you have.
 Start with loving yourself. Self-love is frequently overlooked because it is deemed
unimportant, or because you are attempting to find romantic love that you believe you
deserve. Prior to giving or receiving love from others, you must first learn to love
yourself. Self-love is the simplest and most basic love.
Take care of your happiness. Always put yourself first and never let the happiness of
others get in the way of your own. Eat well, exercise, spend time with cheerful
people, learn something new every day, and be nice. And self-love is a never-ending
journey. Each and every day, you must remember to love yourself! When you value
yourself as a human being who is entitled to wonderful things in life, people who
share the same view will easily fall in love with you as soon as they meet you. Your
joy and love for yourself is contagious! This characteristic of yours will ultimately
affect them into your space, doubling your happiness!
2. Relaxing and Living Worry-Free
Coming closely behind love and spending time with your loved ones is relaxing and a
life free from any kind of worry as a factor of happiness. What exactly does this
imply? It means devoting time to tasks that you must necessarily do. Though
relaxation is such an ambiguous word with different definitions depending on who
you ask, what it does mean in this context is:

● Reading a book

● Enjoying a walk outside

● Going to the cinema

● Laughing to ‘stupid’ YouTube Videos

● Watching soccer or any sport of your interest, etc.

3. Exercising
Have you imagined the feeling that comes from rounding up a successful workout
session? Even if you're not in the mood to exercise, the prospect of that sensation
might be enough to send you to the gym. You might call that sensation an endorphin
rush, which isn't totally inaccurate, but exercise actually makes you happier in a
variety of ways.
These are several ways that exercising contributes to our happiness level – from
reducing stress, to reducing feelings of solitude and isolation, and helping us to
alleviate anxiety or depression –among other benefits:
● Body movement helps you to bond with others

The movement of the body when you exercise has a way of connecting you with
others. This is the brain chemistry of exercising. When you increase your
heartbeat rate, utilize your body, use your muscles, it makes it easier to connect
with others, and create bonds and that makes it easy to trust other people. It
promotes social joys such as a high 5, laughing or hugging.
 ● Helps in reducing anxiety and depression

As exercise raises endorphins, it equally boosts many additional chemical

substances in the brain that contribute to happiness. When you engage in exercise
activity, as I’m sure you’d start exercising from now on, it help to boosts
endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline, and endocannabinoids - which are brain
chemicals that make you feel happy, confident, capable, experience less worry
and stress, and even fewer physical pain.

Exercise has also been demonstrated to assist some people with depression, which
scientists think may be related to an increase in the development of nerve cells in
the brain after exercise.

● Helps boost your confidence

In life, confidence is essential when it comes to feeling happier and empowered.

Exercise helps increase your confidence since you do something challenging with
other people when you work out that gives you a sense of shared performance and
collaboration.

4. Feeling valued at work and developing professionally

In most situations, a nice working atmosphere is a prerequisite for enjoyment
derivation. Irrespective of what is needed, it is important that there should be a
balance between 'work and life', and being happy with our jobs. The friendly
environment at work is an essential requirement for pleasure derivation in most
instances. Regardless of the standards, being content with your job is important to
conserving the balance between life and work.
5. Spending quality time with friends
Relating with friends and building quality social relationships has been shown to be a
leading cause of happiness. Man by nature is first a social being, needing social
connection for existence. The famous saying “happiness is only real when shared”
comes alive when you share quality time with your friends. When you have great
people around you, and with whom you can share happiness and time with, it sure is
one of the vast happiness factors. It has been discovered that human relationships can
help you stay healthy and happy. In the end, love brings happiness, which lasts a
lifetime.
When you do pleasurable activities with the people you love because those activities
can boost your positive emotions and reduce the negatives in addition to the feeling of
love you experience from the people who are present.
6. Going beyond your comfort zone by traveling
Traveling provides a feeling of excitement in you that you can’t really find anywhere
else. It is the perfect way to discover new things that interest you in life. Things that
would otherwise never have been found.
 If you love traveling, then there is a high chance that your happiness levels will
increase. It has been discovered that traveling offers a great secret of living a happy
life. Visiting new places helps you improve your mental well-being by bringing the
experiences of the new place, people and cultures to you and breaking your routine.
7. Accomplishment
No doubt, we all want to feel that the efforts we put into something yielded a positive
result and that our little contributions made a difference in making things work. There
is a sense of satisfaction that comes with achievements, and this is not all about the
big achievements because even modest things contribute to making us happier. It is
fulfilling when there's self-accomplishment, however when there's absence of it, we
feel very frustrated.

The Purpose Of Happiness

The purpose of happiness is nothing but being happy itself. In life, we often find reasons
to make us do some things. It is just the same with happiness. You can be happy for
several reasons, some of which I have made effort to list below:
i. You have the chance to achieve your best. One integral part of a meaningful existence
is making use of force at your beck and call for the greater good. For example, by
making music as a musician, you can draw satisfaction; also, an athlete person might
be happy by practicing or taking part in competitions. Realization of your potential
contributes to your happiness.
ii. A robust social network is a key component of happiness. People find it easier to
express happiness when they have strong allies they can depend upon and trust.
More so is having family and friends around them when they are in need.
iii. Being treated with respect by others. How well other people treat you play a major
role in your total well being. How you are treated b. It also helps us develop a sense
of self-worth.
iv. Having the liberty to choose how you spend your time. This is a form of freedom
people never like being denied them. This feeling of autonomy can contribute to a
person living their best life.

The Derivable Value From Living A Happy Life

Happiness is not only a desirable thing, but also valuable and important. Living in the
ambiance of happiness gives a dimension to your life that you never would've
experienced if life had been the other way round.
There are a number of ways the value happiness is manifested in our lives:
1. Social relationships and pro-social behavior

Happiness has a way of bringing people to their best. As has been discussed earlier,
people with happiness tend to be more social, lively, cooperative, and act in an ethical
manner.
Happy individuals also showed a favorable evaluation of others, a stronger desire in
social interaction and a larger chance of engaging in self-disclosure.
 In addition, it has equally been proven that they contribute more to society. This is
due to the fact that there is also a link between happiness and collaboration - the
happiest are more cooperative.

2. Professional Benefits

Career-wise, happy individuals are more likely to finish college, secure jobs, obtain
favorable assessments from their superiors, earn more and lose their job less often
because positive emotions also precede and promote career success. Happy workers
are less prone to burn out, be absent from work and quit their job.

3. Health benefits

This is perhaps the most important value of happiness that makes it so desirable.
Happiness is associated with longevity. True happiness is an important indicator of a
better, longer life as it guarantees a better heart rate, which is responsible for a longer
time of working. Aside from setting you up for longevity, a happy life also helps in
building your systems immunity, making you resilient when stressed, making your
heartbeat function well, and also enables you to recover from surgical operations, and
illness.

4. Emotional Health

A happy mood can help counteract unsatisfactory or frightening mood conditions

including anxiety, depression, or schizophrenia. Know that your happiness goes a
long way in protecting your overall emotional and psychological health.
If there is one thing you have to take away from this, it is that fostering more happiness in
your life will enhance your general wellbeing. Don't rush it. Observe slowly things that
would make you happier, and go for it.
 Chapter 5.

THE CHOICE OF HAPPINESS

The question has been asked time and again, and it is still asked. It goes, ‘Is happiness a
choice?’ Well, yes, it is! While on the happiness path towards a meaningful life, you will
discover quickly that your happiness is your option and you have to choose it each and
every day.

As a happy individual, you will not allow yourself to be held hostage by circumstances,
nor seek it from persons or possessions. You have to understand that when you stop
pursuing the definition of happiness given by the world, you will begin to realize that the
decision to be happy has always been right in front of you, and still is.

However, it is not enough to just know that happiness is a choice. It still needs a
conscious effort to choose happiness every day to experience it entirely. How then can
you make this decision to choose happiness?

How To Choose Happiness

Here, I have put up a list of 10 intentional actions you can perform to daily choose your
happiness
1. Wake up on your personal conditions

Most mornings we are rudely awoken primarily to meet the demands of others: a
waking kid, a workplace, or a school. Well, that seemed to have come to stay.
However, this does not imply that you must surrender control of your mornings in the
process. Set an inspiring, meaningful morning habit by getting up a little earlier. Each
day should begin on your terms.

2. Display an attitude of gratitude

Rather than focusing on the negative aspects of life, happy people prefer to focus on
the positive aspects. They make a conscious effort to focus on specific causes for
gratitude. As much as possible, they say it out too. We find that kids learn this earlier
in life that there is always something to be thankful for.

3. Develop one important discipline to improve your life

In personal growth lies happiness and fulfillment. Knowing that you are purposefully
committed to personal growth is one of the most satisfying feelings you will ever
have. Using and practicing at least one act every day. It may be training, budgeting,
or guided-learning. Regardless of what your life requires to continue to flourish
today, make effort to find it, practice it, and celebrate it.

4. Wear a smile

A smile is beautiful. More so, creating an emotion-filled face has a huge influence on
the brain's sensations. Our looks can have the same effect on our brain as our brains
affect our face. Put plainly, you can surely position yourself for happiness by
choosing to smile.

5. Treat others well

We all want to be decently treated. But we also want to treat people with the same
respect that we would desire. Deal with compassion, tolerance and grace to
everybody you meet. The Golden Rule is a mighty one. The recipient is
advantageous. However, you are also increasingly happy as you try to treat people
how you want to be treated.

6. Accomplish one important task

Because happy individuals have chosen to go with happiness, they take control of
their lives. They don't decide based on a need have to seek joy. Instead, they work out
of their previously decided satisfaction. You know that there are time demands,
helpful efforts and essential contributions to the world around you. Choose a major
task that you can perform every day and find joy in your contribution.
 7. Hold back a complaint and never hold grudges

Happy people complain less about other people. They would never be held down by
their words because they know that a word, once spoken, can never be taken back.
So, the next time you want to lash out at a person, circumstance or yourself in a
verbal complaint, don't. Keep it to yourself respectfully instead. A sick, unpleasant
environment is prone to spread. But moreover, in a tough moment, you will
experience delight by choosing to be calm.

8. Turn to your suffering for advantage

Life is already so difficult to live in. It is as if without suffering, no one escapes. We

all find it at some point, somehow. If you do, remember again that the trials are hard,
but they're going to happen. And go deeply into the pain to discover meaning.
Perseverance is, at least, being constructed. And maybe, a capacity is also being
created to soothe others in their sorrow.

9. Choose to focus on what you have

When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in its worth. Being
grateful for the goodness in your life will provide you a greater feeling of
contentment. And that is without needing to buy or acquire anything new. It is
logical. You will never be happy if you are not grateful for what you already have.

10. Do everything in your power for others

This, as has been explained, formed the essence of the happiness you seek. Using
your skills to help others and bringing fulfilment to others fills you with happiness
more than anything else. Take time out each day asking yourself what you can do for
someone around you and the planet! Set your alert, get up to work, and be happy you
can provide other people a product or service. Purchase coffee for your fellow
colleagues, hold the door for the guy behind you, and allow your wife to walk ahead.
Give the individual asking you for your change. Collect waste on the street. Collect
garbage.

Happiness is the smartest choice you can make because it is what your being craves for; it
is what other people want, too. Know that when you choose to be happy, it's about
choosing to care for others too, making the globe open up to limitless possibilities.

Complementary Daily Habits To Maintain Happiness

Here are 20 other actions, intentional actions, you know, to help maintain your happiness:

1. Choose to be at YOUR best always

2. Find a sense of significance
3. Eat with mood in mind
4. Be completely immersed in something you enjoy
5. Live in alignment with your values
6. Choose to be around the right people
7. Live in the moment
8. Choose honesty.
9. Choose to accept the next step in your life.
10. Give sincere compliments
11. Acknowledge the unhappy moments
12. Face stress head-on
13. Train your brain to be more positive
14. Enjoy nature
15. Explore meditation
16. Nurture and enjoy your relationships
17. Focus on helping others to live with meaning
18. Practice kindness
19. Minimize multitasking
20. Take delight in the good fortune of others

The Interconnectivity Of Happiness And Meaningful Life

Fundamental questions have been raised about the relationship that exists between living
a life of meaning and living in happiness. These questions have been focused on what
makes life worth living in the actual sense. Do we take a life filled with happiness or a
life filled with purpose and meaning? Could there be a difference between both?

While the concept of happiness and living a meaningful life may overlap, there are yet
some important differences:

● Happiness consists largely of getting what you desire and need, including from
others or even with money. In contrast, a life of meaning is connected to doing
activities that express and reflect the self and to doing beneficial things for others, in
particular.
● Happiness aligns more with being a taker than a giver, while meaningfulness is
associated with being a giver more than a taker. Whereas happiness is focused
on feeling good in the present, meaningfulness integrated past, present, and
future, and it sometimes means feeling bad.
● Past disastrous events ebbs present happiness, but they have a close link with
higher meaningfulness–more because people eventually learn to live with them by
discovery of meaning.
These patterns imply that happiness without meaning has a generally superficial, self-
absorbed or even selfish existence that satisfies everything well, quickly satisfies the
requirements and wants, and prevents difficult or taxing interconnections with little
contribution to others.

Know where to stay, act on a pursuit of happiness that is no longer bringing meaning.

It is paramount, therefore, that in your pursuit of happiness, seek not just happiness but
also meaning. Seek both happiness and meaning, because by doing so, your happiness
will become lasting. Look for the AND, or what can be called the missing link or the
connecting link.
The choice is yours.
 Chapter 6.

THE INFINITE INFLUENCE OF HAPPINESS ON

YOUR WORLD

The difference between a happy and an unhappy society is no small one at all, it is vast
and varied. We know that happiness is more important than our desire to feel good.
Happy people make a happy society, and a happy society make a happy world. As is
already remarked, happiness is more people-focused than self-centered, the influence of
your happiness is contagious on your next door neighbor, and of course, on the world.
You’ve probably heard that laughter is contagious. You may also have heard someone
remark that they are "a sympathetic crier," which means that if they see someone
weeping they would probably start tearing up too, even when there is no need for them to
cry. Happiness is just as contagious and can be limitless. Just as someone’s bad mood can
rub off on you, positivity, too, can spread. The influence the happiness of an individual
like you can have on the world is just so unimaginable.

The Far-Reaching Influence Of Kindness And Happiness In

A Cruel Society
Happiness is transmissible, or better still, contagious. Just as negativity can beget
negativity, happiness too can beget happiness. Experts have revealed that the happiness
of an individual is connected to the happiness of his friends, and friend’s friends up to
fourth dimension – that indicates that a person’s happiness goes well beyond their social
horizon.
In your happiness, you’re more likely to make positive changes in your own life, these
cause a ripple effect from you to affect others and you find yourself surrounded by the
very thing you fostered. Rather than focusing on merely increasing your happiness, you
should grab your reins and share your happiness with the world just as you would in your
close group. You should give back, help promote morality or recreate a part of the new
you.

The Happiness Spillover Effect

The saying the Chinese proverb in the poster above finds an expression in you if what
you seek is a lifetime, lasting happiness. With one smile, one giggle, a random act of
kindness that have the possibility of having bigger impacts than you can imagine, the
effect is ignited.

The world is filled with sad people indeed, but the happiness of one man can force a
change and become the turning point in the spiral, and that man can be you.

To transmit happiness, you need to cultivate well-being skills such as:

● Kindness,

● Empathy,

● Compassion, and

● Mindfulness

No doubt, happiness is infectious, and a positive infection at that. You frequently also
feel better when you help others. And sometimes, the best thing you can do when you
want other people to change is to change yourself.
Conclusion
In light of all that we have considered together on this happiness path towards a
meaningful life, – from the definitions of happiness to its applications, from its essence to
its purpose, from the happiness traps and escaping them, and ultimately the ripple effect
you can create in the world by being happy – you should now come to the understanding
that you do not have to be perfect to be happy, and that your happiness is not dependent
on what others defined as happiness because the definition of your own happiness is
unique to you and you alone.

There is no perfect world to live in, neither do you have to be a perfect person to find
happiness. Now is the time to be happy, the place where your happiness can find
expression is here, and all around you are the reasons for it. If you search for them, they
will make themselves known to you.

Again, your happiness is your choice, not an event or something that happens to you. By
choosing your happiness despite the negative sides events in the world, you become an
influence and a source of comfort and inspiration to your world.

Why not choose happiness for yourself, and choose happiness for those around you? And
why not begin today?

-- Kirk Harrison
References

1. How Friends Make Us Happier - The Benefits of Friendship

https://www.happify.com/hd/why-friends-make-us-happier

2. Depression and Happiness Pursuit: A Surprising Link - Paradigm

https://paradigmtreatment.com/depression-and-happiness-pursuit-link/

3. Link Between Happiness and Stress Relief - Elizabeth Scott

https://www.verywellmind.com/links-between-happiness-and-stress-relief-3144629

4. 3 Easy Ways to Boost Your Happiness in 5 Minutes or Less

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/3-easy-ways-to-boost-your-happiness-in-5-minutes-or-
less/

5. Top 10 Factors Responsible for Happiness

https://www.trackinghappiness.com/biggest-factors-for-happiness/

6. 6 Benefits of Happiness According to the Research

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7. Cultivating Happiness - HelpGuide.org

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness/

8. The Happiness Trap Quotes- Russ Harris

https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-
struggling-and-start-living

9. Hatchoo! Happiness is Contagious - Glamour

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10. 35 Essence of Happiness Quotes - Quotes Love and Life

https://quotesloveandlife.com/essence-of-happiness-quotes

11. Is Happiness Contagious? How to Make it Go Viral - Inc.com

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viral.html

12. 10 Ways People Choose Happiness

https://www.marcandangel.com/2012/03/01/10-ways-happy-people-choose-happiness

13. The Pursuit Of Happiness

https://activerain.com/blogsview/5460936/the-pursuit-of-happiness

14. Is Eudaimonia A Good Model For Happiness

https://janetpanic.com/is-eudaimonia-a-good-model-for-happiness/

15. The Four Levels Of Happiness

http://7summitpathways.com/blog/four-levels-of-happiness/

16. Why Our Pursuit Of Happiness May Be Flawed

http://www.bbc.com/future/article/20210105-why-our-pursui...piness-may-be-flawed

17 Happiness

https://m.douban.com/note/207377025/

18 Quote By Chinese Proverb

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19. Happiness For A Lifetime

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20. How The Power Of Kindness Impact Your Life And Others

https://medium.com/the-mission/how-the-power-of-kindness-impacts-your-life-and-
others-f8f5a895400

21 Happiness Is A Butterfly

https://www.quotespedia.org/authors/n/nathaniel-hawthorne/happiness-is-a-butterfly-
which-when-pursued-is-always-just-beyond-your-grasp-but-which-if-you-will-sit-down-
quietly-may-alight-upon-you-nathaniel-hawthorne/

22. The Top 45 Question On What Makes You Happy

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23. Denis Waitley Quotes

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/denis_waitley_146923

24. Are There Different Level Of Happiness?

https://www.mvorganizing.org/are-there-different-levels-of-happiness/

25 Sadness Quotes

https://bookroo.com/quotes/sadness
Go here to check out other related books that might interest you:

[Note to freelancer: Please ignore this. This chapter will be completed by myself.]
[Note to self: You can either omit this entire chapter or replace this with a list of 3-5 of:
a) Your other eBooks, or; b) Other graduates' eBooks, or; c) A mixture of your eBooks
and other graduates' eBooks
 Example:

How To Win Friends and Influence People

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003WEAI4E

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003WIYCCY

The Leader In You

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003WIYCDI

Note to self: Remember to either delete this chapter or replace it with your own selection
of eBooks]