ACIM Edmonton - Sarah's Reflections

Lesson 11
My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.

Sarah's Commentary:

What do we do when we experience the world as letting us down, hurting us, betraying us, or not
supporting us? Don’t we usually try to do something about the situation? We try to find solutions
in the world that will make things better for us. In other words, we try to change the forms
"out there." Yet clearly, Jesus keeps reminding us over and over again, the world we see is nothing
more than ". . . the witness to your state of mind, the outside picture of an inward
condition." (T.21.IN.1.5) (ACIM OE T.21.I.1) Since that is the case, we are told, "Therefore,
seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world."
(T.21.IN.1.7) (ACIM OE T.21.I.1)

In other words, my meaningless thoughts are the cause and the world is the effect. It certainly
does not seem that way to us. I think the events "out there" are causing me to react the way I do.
Somebody cut me off in traffic and therefore I am angry. Someone betrayed me, and therefore, I
am feeling hurt. Someone ran into my car, and therefore, I am feeling vulnerable. My taxes have
gone up, and I feel victimized. We tell ourselves that our anger, our retaliation, and our
unhappiness are justified by something that has been done to us. We feel victimized by the
conditions of the world and by what others seem to be doing. It all comes from thoughts we are
thinking that have no meaning. The events themselves are neutral. We are the ones giving them
all the meaning they have for us. Jesus says that we are singing a dirge of victimhood. "Healing
occurs as a patient begins to hear the dirge he sings, and questions its validity."
(Psychotherapy Pamphlet.2.VI.1.5) The first step is to tune into what we are thinking, and the
second step is to question our thoughts.

The purpose behind this Lesson is to consider that we might have it all backward because we think
the cause of everything is outside of our minds and is the reason we think, feel, and perceive the
way we do. This is our experience of the world. In this Lesson, we are told the thoughts in our
minds are the cause that ". . . determine the world we see [and experience]." (W.11.1.3) The
only thing that will bring peace and joy, instead of the anger and distress, is to see that we have
chosen the script. In other words, it is our dream. Given this, we cannot be victims of this world
because we are the ones that dreamed it into seeming existence in the first place. We made these
bodies that come with the sensory apparatus that give us evidence of the reality of everything we
experience. We identify with what we have made and think it is who we are---a body living in the
world.

"Today's idea introduces the concept that your thoughts determine the world you
see." (W.11.1.3) "The key to forgiveness lies in it." (W.11.1.5) We are told that this idea alone
if we really get it, will ensure our release. "Be glad indeed to practice the idea in its initial
form, for in this idea is your release made sure." (W.11.1.4) It will free us from guilt, fear,
and myriad emotions that seem to creep upon us seemingly against our will. In the end, it will free
us from our seeming bondage to the ego. How it all happens is through forgiveness. We may
wonder how the idea that our thoughts determine the world we see ties in with Course-based
forgiveness? While a lot more is said in the Text and in future lessons about forgiveness, the key
here is that if the world is real and terrible things are really happening to us, forgiveness becomes
impossible; but if the world is a reflection of our own thoughts, bouncing back at us, forgiveness
is about healing the perception that someone has hurt us. If I realize I am a character in this
dream, and I have put you in my dream to help me see my unhealed perceptions, I come to realize
that no one is doing anything to me. I am responsible for my dream. Everything that seems to
happen to me is by my own decision. "Forgiveness recognizes that what you thought your
brother did to you has not occurred." (W.PII.Q1.1.1)

When we learn to withdraw our judgments of "good" and "bad" from what seems to be happening,
there is nothing to react to. In Course-based forgiveness, we bring awareness to all the thoughts,
beliefs, and concepts we hold. This is the first step in forgiveness, as we can't heal what we don’t
see. The purpose of the world is to reflect back to us our own thoughts so we can see the unhealed
judgments we hold. As such, the world becomes an important classroom for showing us the
misperceptions we hold that seem to be creating the problems we perceive.

If I feel hurt by what I deem is being done to me, I take on the mantle of victimhood. I am like a
puppet at the mercy of the world. I blame others for making me feel the way I do. In doing so, I
make myself powerless, but I can now start to see that I am the one who chose what I am feeling.
I don't have to choose anger in the face of attack. I am the one choosing to hurt myself with my
response. I am responding to something that starts in my own mind. It starts with the beliefs I
hold about myself. It starts with my own self-attacking thoughts. We all have insecurities we cover
over with false assurance, confidence, and bravado. It comes from a belief that there is something
wrong with us. It comes from feelings of unworthiness and abandonment. We try to keep this
hidden, and put on a brave face and move forward with a false sense of certainty. While seemingly
doing our best, we feel our efforts are often not appreciated, that we are being misunderstood and
sometimes outright attacked and betrayed, and thus we feel victimized. It comes from our
identification with the ego where we play a role rather than being transparent and authentic. It is
all in the name of self-protection. We do what we can to keep ourselves feeling safe and secure.

What we are defending is the guilt in the mind. Forgiveness is about acknowledging our
self-deprecating thoughts without judging ourselves for them. When we know the innocent Self
we are, no defense is needed. The innocent are invulnerable. Through forgiveness, we increasingly
see attacking behaviors as having nothing to do with us. We are being called to respond with love
and understanding. What we give we receive for ourselves.

My mother experiences hallucinations and the onset of dementia with every episode of a bladder
infection. Whenever I notice her symptoms I ask the staff to send her urine to the lab. The nurse
collected the urine, but when the doctor came, she said there was no need to send the urine to the
lab because she was not convinced the symptoms warranted a test. I am sensitive to my mother’s
condition and believed a test was essential. I could not understand the doctor’s position and I
expressed concern to the nurse. My immediate response was to listen to the ego mind and take
immediate action to rectify the situation; but I have learned through the Course, to step back from
the ego, take the time to turn to the Holy Spirit with any problem, and choose peace. A couple of
hours went by. The guidance was to do nothing. I then got a call from the nurse who told me she
had prevailed on the doctor to have the test done. The solutions proposed by the ego would have
created difficulties for everyone. By withdrawing my judgments from this situation, the miracle
was able to show up. I have had numerous examples of problems being solved without my
involvement. I am not saying there are situations where action needs to be taken. What I am
saying is that it is not helpful to follow the guidance of the ego, which always speaks first.

If the world is nothing more than what I project onto it, the power is within my own mind to allow
for another way of seeing everything and everyone, which changes our whole experience of
everything and everyone. If we really were the victims of outside events, we would indeed be
powerless, but if it is my thoughts that cause what I see, then the power is in me to choose to see
if differently. Through forgiveness, I can change my mistaken perceptions. I can choose to
withdraw my belief in victimhood. We have Mighty Help in this process. We can't do this without
the Holy Spirit, but we can start the process. All it takes is willingness to look at our thoughts and
bring them to His healing light.

While the thought that we are the cause of everything we see holds a lot of power, it also brings
up fear. The thought, that we are responsible for what we see and experience and for everything
that seems to happen to us, seems onerous. Have I really chosen it all? Jesus quickly assures us
that we should be happy that indeed we have chosen it all for in this thought is our release! "Be
glad indeed to practice the idea in its initial form, for in this idea is your release
made sure." (W.11.1.4) What we are released from is the bondage of the ego that holds us
hostage to guilt. For now, let's just trust the process and accept that we are being gently led to our
ultimate freedom.

The practice instructions urge us to use the words of this lesson in an ". . . unhurried, even
leisurely fashion. The introduction to this idea, in particular, should be practiced as
casually as possible." (W.11.3.2) Again, as in the introduction to the Workbook, we are
reminded not to strain in the application of the idea. Jesus recognizes that we may experience
some uneasiness in applying this idea. We are to do this exercise three times, for one minute or
so. "However, if there is little or no uneasiness and an inclination to do more, as
many as five may be undertaken. More than this is not recommended." (W.11.4.2-3)
That is an interesting caution, and I suspect that Jesus is speaking to our inclination to try for
perfection or to please the teacher. Of course, this is the purview of the ego mind and introduces
strain and ritual, which he cautions against. It is not about trying to be a good student but only
about the desire for more peace and joy in our lives, which will motivate our practice. The goal is
to achieve peace, relaxation, and freedom from worry. Thus, strain is not helpful in doing these
Lessons, although discipline is.

In essence, we are letting go of the reality of this world; we are willing to give up the need to be
right and accept humility, instead of admitting that we just don't know. "Humility brings peace
because it does not claim that you must rule the universe, nor judge all things as you
would have them be." (Song of Prayer.1.V.1.4) We have taught ourselves certain things that
seemed to be true, but we are now learning that nothing we thought we knew and understood is
true. If my meaningless thoughts are the cause of my life experience, and the world is the effect,
everything I have thought I understood about the world and myself is being reversed.

When we value things of this world, they become very important to us. We are invested in them.
What happens as a result is that these things have the power to hurt us and to shatter our peace
because we have given them that power, and thus, we experience fear. Now we are looking at our
beliefs, values, and concepts that we hold about ourselves and are starting to question them so
our wrong-minded perceptions can be changed to right-minded perceptions that reflect God's
Love. We learn through this teaching that the only thing really worth valuing is the peace of God.
As we get connected with this peace, which is already in us, we no longer have fear, because
anything not of God can have no effect on us.
How this looks to me right now is that I believe I am being attacked by a circumstance that seems
to be binding me to the feeling of resentment. My false ideas about this situation seem so real and
my resentment and anger feel justified. If I go to my ego mind for answers, then I try to overlook
how I feel, I tell myself it is not so bad, that it is not important, and I can be at peace in spite of
this situation. Or I might try to address it in form and try to fix it "out there." Either way, it is a
direction offered by the ego. It reflects the ". . . thinking of the world." (W.11.1.1) Resistance
is in my mind to this lesson because I think my feelings of anger are justified by the situation.
Until I ask for help and admit that I just don't understand anything and that I am willing to be
shown, I will stubbornly insist on justifying my position. That is what this lesson is getting at. "Be
glad indeed to practice the idea in its initial form, for in this idea is your release
made sure." (W.11.1.4) Today, I am willing to give over my need to control, understand, and
justify. Instead, I let the Holy Spirit show me the way.

Love and blessings, Sarah

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