See discussions, stats, and author profiles for this publication at: https://www.researchgate.

net/publication/368511818

Counseling Skills: A Short e-Manual

Chapter · February 2023

CITATIONS READS

0 1,394

1 author:
Jimmy Petruzzi

136 PUBLICATIONS 21 CITATIONS

SEE PROFILE
All content following this page was uploaded by Jimmy Petruzzi on 15 February 2023.

The user has requested enhancement of the downloaded file.

Module 1: Introduction to Counseling

CHAPTER OBJECTIVES

 Introduce the basic concept of counseling

 Discuss the role of the counselor in the counseling environment

 Identify the role of active listening in counseling

 Describe the skills that are involved in active listening

Basic Concept of Counseling

Counseling is a widely used term that refers to giving professional guidance to an

individual (client) to help them deal with psychological, social, or performance problems.

Proven psychological methods are used to collect the client’s personal history through

interviews and tests and identify their problems, causes and contexts in order to devise and

apply the best approaches to resolve their issues. Here, the focus is on the concept of a process.

Counseling is a structured, systematic process that is organized in a series of steps, and has the

objective to help clients better understand and cope with situations that they are struggling with.

This often involves helping the client to be aware of and understand their own emotions,

thoughts, and feelings and be ready, able, and willing to make positive alternative choices and

decisions that will facilitate their aspirations and life goals. Hereby clients become aware and

mindful of automatic negative thoughts and accept that they originated from genuine life

experiences, which may have been so distressing that they caused negative responses such as

core beliefs just to be able to cope with their daily lives.

Clients are assisted to recognize these negative thought processes and understand that there are

positive functional alternatives that are available to resolve their problems and change their

lives for the better.

We have already used some important concepts in counseling and therapy in the

previous paragraph, such as automatic negative thoughts, core beliefs, thought (or cognitive)

processes, functional alternative beliefs, and mindful awareness, which I will briefly explain.

We all know that thoughts are negative and positive and make us who we are from past years of

good and bad experiences. When we encounter frequent or severely negative experiences—

often as a child—we try to cope by rationalizing that the world is a bad place, maybe we are not

good enough, everyone is against us, we deserve the pain, and nothing will ever get better

again. These explanations become core beliefs if they are experienced over and over and

reinforced as a deep-seated view of ourselves, others, and the world. They are at the core of

automatic negative thoughts, those little voices that tell you you’re going to fail again, others

think you are hopeless, and that you shouldn’t think these thoughts. When enough thoughts are

unhelpfully negative, the consequences for ourselves and those around us can be devastating.

Sometimes one negative thought follows another without filter or choice. When negative

thinkers look at the past, there is regret. When they look at the future there is anxiety and

pessimism. In the present moment, there always seems to be something that is unsatisfactory.

This type of thinking severely limits a person’s ability to enjoy his or her life, and to perform

according to his or her abilities and aspirations, which soon alienates others. In counseling,

automatic negative thoughts and their underlying core beliefs are identified and the client is

guided to become aware of their presence and effects and assisted to find healthier alternatives

by developing functional alternative beliefs in small and manageable steps. It is clear that these

cognitive processes of unconscious thinking are important initiators of human behavior, and

therefore form a central aspect in most modern counseling and therapy approaches. Many

counseling techniques are nowadays enhanced

with principles of mindfulness. Instead of dwelling on negative experiences of the past and the

hopelessness of the future, the client is focused on an open and active awareness of the present

moment without judging any feelings or sensations. Each thought, feeling, and experience is

acknowledged and accepted as it is. This counseling and therapy technique teaches the client

self-regulated attention and conscious awareness of his or her current thoughts, feelings, and

surroundings, which is accepted without entanglement in their dysfunctional core beliefs and

negative thoughts.

Counseling also entails that a client is provided with the necessary skills that are

required to support the rest of the counseling process and their lives outside of counseling.

These are usually social, personal interaction, and communication skills that are helpful in

making the changes to resolve their problems, improve their functioning, and improve personal

growth. In essence, counseling is a structured and systematic process through purposeful

communication between the counsellor and client to resolve psychological problems and

improve the client’s functioning. This is achieved by identifying the client’s problems and its

context, and identifying and implementing a practical solution to bring about positive changes.

Role of the Counselor

Usually, two persons are present during counseling, the counselor/therapist and the

client. They engage in a process through communication that is facilitated and guided by the

counselor through active listening and leads to action on the part of the client. The counselor is

a professional who uses his or her education and experience to engage with the client, establish

a trusting and empathetic relationship, and identify and resolve problems in collaboration with

the client. In most modern counseling and therapy approaches, the counselor has an active

facilitator role (in collaboration) rather than an expert instructor (in authority). There are many

distinct factors and aspects of the counselor’s role and personal approach that have a significant

impact on the counseling process.

 Therapeutic relationship. The single most important aspect that determines the

effectiveness of counseling is the therapeutic relationship. The therapeutic relationship or

alliance is created between the counselor and client when an atmosphere of mutual trust and

confidence exists without bias and judgment, which helps to affect beneficial change in the

client through positive rapport and engagement. The most widely cited contemporary definition

of the therapeutic alliance was developed by Gelso and Carter (1985), which asserts that “The

relationship is the feelings and attitudes that therapist and client have towards one another, and

the manner in which these are expressed” (p. 159). The therapeutic relationship consists of three

elements, namely the working alliance, transference and countertransference, and the real

relationship.

The working alliance is made of three parts, namely tasks, goals, and bond, and is the

productive joining or collaboration of the efforts of the counselor and client to affect positive

change. Transference and countertransference are also very important concepts in counseling

and therapy. Transference was first described by Sigmund Freud as an activation of feelings

and emotions from repressed childhood experiences in the client in the process of engagement

with the therapist. A more recent and simpler explanation is a phenomenon characterized by

unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another. Although transference is often

viewed as inappropriate, it is only the case when it leads to maladaptive thoughts, feelings, or

behaviors in either the counselor or client. Otherwise it is a very natural component of the

engagement process between two people. Countertransference, specifically, is the redirection of

a therapist’s feelings toward a patient, which can be as varied as erotic attraction, anger, or

contempt, all of which would be counterproductive in counseling. The real or personal

relationship between the client and therapist is based on genuineness and realism and is a

powerful force in the change process as it enables the therapist to assist client to accept

themselves and make better choices.

 Therapeutic process role. The counselor’s role in the therapy process can be broadly

divided into six activities, namely connect, reassure, stabilize, address needs and concerns,

provide support, and facilitate coping, and is illustrated in Figure 1 below. Figure 1:

Therapeutic Process

Figure 1 above illustrates the important and comprehensive roles that a counselor play in

the therapeutic process, including the need to be trustworthy, nonjudgmental, and encouraging.

His or her personal attributes and abilities are critical elements in building synergy with the
client to develop a durable change effect together by avoiding negative transference and

creating a stable and positive atmosphere that will give the client selfconfidence to focus on

strengths rather than emphasize problems and concerns. By providing and facilitating an

environment and process with which a client feels comfortable, familiar, and not judged,

positive change can occur. In order to achieve these process-related roles, the counselor also has

to consider his or her emotional and professional roles and how they may impact on the

therapeutic alliance and process.

Social and emotional role. The therapeutic relationship is not devoid of feelings, in

fact, effective therapy largely depends on expressing, perceiving, and processing feelings that

the client may have a problem dealing with in his or her life situation (Knapp, 2007). It is the

counselor’s role to identify, acknowledge, and understand these feelings and emotions with

sensitivity, objectivity, and a nonjudgmental attitude. It is as important to keep an appropriate

emotional distance from the client, as it is to consider (and empathize with) his or her feelings

in the context of their circumstances and past experiences. Objectivity allows the counselor to

focus on the client’s problems without letting bias and personal judgments get into the way of

improvement. For similar reasons, personal contact with a client is contraindicated as it can

easily move beyond the boundaries of professionalism and objectivity and become a

confounding factor in the professional relationship. It is reasonable to argue that first hand

observations of the client in social situations may be beneficial as client-reported versions may

not be accurate. However, they provide valuable clues to the client’s own conscious and

subconscious interpretations, emotions, and intentions that may have been lost otherwise. In the

process, the counselor realizes that he or she is in essence the client’s advocate and has their

wellbeing at heart without other interference. Social interactions can easily lead to conflicting

interests with others in the client’s life, which is potentially harmful to the therapeutic

relationship and counseling objectives with the client as the counselor’s primary consideration.
 Professional role. Ethical guidelines and professional codes of conduct of all therapy

and counseling associations require that a professional adhere to a set of rules to protect the

counselor, client, and health care profession as a whole. These oblige the counselor to protect

the privacy and confidentiality of the client in all but the most exceptional circumstances. In

some situations, legislation that is applicable to the particular jurisdiction that the counselor

practices in, may demand disclosure. Common examples are if the counselor has probable cause

to believe that the client is involved in child abuse, elderly abuse, using sessions in furtherance

of an ongoing or future crime, or present and clear and imminent danger to himself or someone

else. These exceptions to privilege must be discussed with the client in the informed consent

process prior to the first counseling session. Apart from these exceptions, the counselor must

protect the client’s identity and personal information at all times.

Another of the counselor’s role requirements demands that he or she limits their

procedures, actions, and processes to the scope of practice that is allowed within their specific

education and experience. This is usually defined by national or state/provincial licensing

boards and the counselor may face an administrative or other complaint if the conditions are

violated, which may result in sanctions such as probation, suspension, or license revocation.

Boundary issues are also important, which mostly refer to the counselor’s selfdisclosure,

touch, exchange of gifts, bartering, location of sessions, and contact with a client outside the

office, including dual relationships which may sometimes be unavoidable.

Unprofessional contact and conduct with the client may result in ineffective counseling,

exploitation, and mental harm. The professional relationship should be confined to competently

providing goal-directed counseling services at appropriate times and locations only and casual

contact outside this setting should be avoided (Knapp, 2007). Counseling effectiveness are

based on a sound and professional therapeutic relationship with predictable, stable, and robust

boundaries, although some flexibility may be appropriate in different cultural and confined

settings. Therefore it is also important that a counselor is culturally competent to deal with
diverse clients and understand the impact that certain behaviors may have on the success of

counseling.

Furthermore, counselors have the responsibility to ensure that they practice within their

own limits of competence. They should realize that they will probably have a profound effect

on the life and wellbeing of a client that they are attempting to counsel effectively. Therefore,

the service that they provide, including the type of client and problems, as well as the methods

that they apply, must be within their own proven abilities and experience. In essence, it is the

main goal of the counselor to identify and resolve the client’s issues that are within his

professional scope and improve the client’s condition. The counselor should not allow anything

to compromise his or her relationship with the client, and take all reasonable steps to achieve

their mutually agreed goals.

Role of Active Listening in Counseling

Active listening is the practice of listening to a speaker and providing feedback by

repeating, paraphrasing or reflecting to indicate to the speaker that their message is heard and

understood. Although most counseling clients will attempt to explain or disclose their ideas,

concerns, and expectations about their problems, often real concerns and underlying factors go

unrecognized. However, clients provide unconscious clues in speech, narratives, or behavior

that could make the counselor aware that there are unresolved concerns that the client may not

be ready or able to raise. A deeper understanding of the true problems and their underlying

causes result in more effective counseling and improved client wellbeing.

By ensuring that the counselor understands the nuances of the spoken and unsaid issues,

he or she is in the best position to identify the real problems to target in counseling. This is

achieved by applying the techniques of active listening, which is a method that can be learnt

and practiced. The first step of active listening is comprehending. The counselor analyzes while

listening to what the client is saying without distractions of sounds, interruptions, or thoughts
about other topics. The second step is retaining, where the counselor not only analyzes what the

client is saying, but also places it in the context and meaning of their whole situation to add

maximum value to the message. The third step is responding, which is very important to relay

to the client that what he or she is saying is clearly and correctly understood, while clarifying

where necessary. The counselor interprets the client’s message, but needs to ensure that the

client’s emotions, feelings, and information is correctly perceived. This can be done by

paraphrasing the message and repeating it back to the client in his or her own words. Hereby the

client is given the opportunity to hear their words in a different way, which adds to overall

understanding, and provides a good time to clarify any misunderstanding. The client also

acknowledges their feelings while knowing that the counselor has paid attention, which build

mutual trust, openness, and establishes a strong counselor-client bond.

Skills Required in Active Listening

As mentioned before, the practice of active listening that is critical to effective

counseling can be learnt and practiced to develop the necessary skills. Techniques that should

be practiced to improve active listening are as follows:

1. Restating: The counselor is demonstrating that he or she is listening by

paraphrasing what the client has said. The counselor repeats what the client

has said in his or own words, which the client has the opportunity to

acknowledge, confirm, or correct.

2. Summarizing: The counselor brings pieces of information together and checks

his or her understanding with the client. An example is: “So, it sounds to me as

if…”, or “Am I correct in understanding that…”

3. Minimal encouragers: Brief, but positive prompts are used to encourage the flow

of information while letting the client know that you are listening and attentive.

Examples are “Oh?”, “I understand”, “Then”, and “And?”

4. Reflecting: The counselors adds an interpretation in terms of feelings and feeds

it back to the client to check understanding. “It sounds as if it really bothered

you that…”.

5. Giving feedback: The counselor may at times add his or her own thoughts,

feelings, and experiences to get the client to confirm or elaborate an

understanding.

6. Emotion labeling: This technique is useful to put observable feelings and

emotions into words and check with the client or encourage further insights.

“I’m sensing that you are anxious…worried…angry…frustrated…”

7. Probing: By taking a statement or information that a client has given, the

counselor can subtly elicit more detail by follow-up questions. “What do you

think would happen if…”

8. Validation: It is very valuable for the client to feel that he or she is not judged or

deemed “bad” or inadequate. The counselor should acknowledge the client’s

problems as reasonable given their particular situation. “I appreciate that it was a

difficult experience.”

9. Effective pause: Using deliberate pauses to emphasize key points is important to

convey their importance to the client while giving them a short opportunity to

reflect.

10. Silence: Comfortable silences can be productively applied to give a client time to

think, remember, and formalize responses. It can be used to redirect a topic or

slow/tone down an excited or emotional exchange.

11. “I” messages: In many cases the use of “I” in responses give a softer, less direct,

and nonjudgmental impression. Instead of “You have…”, use “I feel that you

have…”.
 12. Redirecting: If a client is very distressed, anxious, angry, or otherwise emotional,

it is sometimes better to change the topic for a while to diffuse their emotions.

13. Consequences: The client is prompted to raise their awareness and understanding

of the likely consequences if they do not act to resolve their issues.

In the process of active listening, the counselor should also be attentive to manners that

may block effective communication. Examples are:

• “Why” questions, which may often elicit a defensive response from a client,

• quick reassurance and deflection from a potential problem,

• too much advising by the counselor, which may disempower the client,

• digging for information and forcing discussion of a topic that a person does not

want to talk about,

• patronizing and preaching, which detracts from the client’s validation,

• interrupting the client,

• ignoring the client’s feelings,

• allowing the interaction to drift without aim,

• baiting the client to provide certain reactions or admissions,

• changing or correcting what the client has said,

• pretending to have understood the client, or

• letting your own feelings and reactions interfere with the process.

Finally, it is clear by now how important active listening is as a cornerstone in effective

counseling. It is a subtle and respectful method to gain maximum value from spoken

information, unspoken clues, and mutual understanding, which are essential elements in a

strong counselor-client therapeutic alliance. The following transcript demonstrates some of the

principles of active listening. Read it carefully and reflect on the questions afterwards.

Some of the more advanced concepts will be discussed further in following Units.
Active Listening in Practice

The following transcript is of a real-life therapy session with an adolescent sexual

abuser. The client is a 16-year-old male who was arrested for having repeated intercourse with

an underage female. At 7- to 9-years old he was abused and raped by his stepfather. The

therapy session took place in a residential setting (Jennings, Apsche, Blossom, & Bayles, 2013,

pp. 20-21):

(Therapist): Open your eyes and allow yourself to get focused in this moment. Are

you good? [Acknowledges the client and his feelings.]

(Client): I feel like I am moving through these painful feelings and thoughts in a

different way than I have in the past with other therapists. [Based on prior

mindfulness training, the adolescent has learned to allow painful

memories and emotions to enter awareness and observe them without

judgment.] Now what?

(Therapist): Well, let’s talk about it. You have let yourself think these thoughts and

feel the pain and you are still here. [Acceptance and validation.] So, is it

possible that you can accept that these painful thoughts and feelings are

part of you, whether it sucks or not? [Paraphrasing.]

(Client): Yeah. [Acknowledging therapist understanding.]

(Therapist): And, it's clear you can experience them and not fall apart. [Validation.] Can

you then commit yourself to move on with all of your pain and thoughts

and not let them control your life? [Elicit commitment to action.]

(Client): I can try, but this isn’t easy.

(Therapist): You are right. It's not easy. [Validation.] However, you have just

successfully accepted that they are part of you and you can move on with

your life. [Acceptance.]

(Client): Yeah, I did.

(Therapist): So, maybe there are also times when there are no painful feelings and

thoughts? [Probing.]

(Client): Maybe, sometimes there are.

(Therapist): In the last session, we discussed how you couldn’t feel anything.

(Client): Yeah, I am numb. Empty.

(Therapist): You endorsed the beliefs “Anything is better than feeling unpleasant”

and “Whenever I hurt, I do what it takes to feel better” as “Always”.

Remember? [The therapist is referring to an earlier assessment of beliefs

endorsed by the client.]

(Client): Yeah, so?

(Therapist): Let’s talk about your emptiness and numbness.

(Client): Okay.

(Therapist): Tell me what your numbness feels like. [Probing.]

(Client): It feels like nothing.

(Therapist): And, where is the nothing?

(Client): What do you mean, where?

(Therapist): Where on or in your body do you notice the nothing-the emptiness and

numbness?

(Client): [Points to chest.]

(Therapist): Where on your chest? [Encourager.]

(Client): Here, right in my chest.

(Therapist): Describe how the numbness feels. What does the emptiness feel like in

your chest?

(Client): It feels like an empty hole.

(Therapist): What do you notice about this emptiness? Is it there to protect you from

pain? [Reflecting.]

(Client): What pain?

(Therapist): The pain of your past physical and emotional abuse. The pain you feel

from your mother not being able to take care of you. [Refers to insights

gained by the youth during pre- ceding treatment sessions.]

(Client): No, there was pain there, but I cut it off.

(Therapist): Okay, describe that pain that was there.

(Client): It was like a burning hole in my chest, like my heart had hot burning lava

in there.

(Therapist): Okay, let yourself experience that pain. The hot lava right here [points to

chest] ...right now. Let’s sit with it. [Silence.]

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

(Therapist): What are the painful thoughts that go with this numbness and pain?

[Probing.]

(Client): I am alone-no good. I am shit, like trash.

(Therapist): Let yourself experience these thoughts and pain. You know that you

have spent your life avoiding these painful thoughts and feelings. They are

really hard as hell to deal with. [Validation.]

(Client): Yes, it really sucks sometimes that I have to live with pain and bad

memories, but at least I can live with them and finally move on in my

life.

(Therapist): It’s not easy, but you have just successfully accepted that they [painful

feelings] are part of you and you can move on with your life.

[Summarizing.]
(Client): Yes, I did.

(Therapist): So, you agree that you can experience painful or numb feelings and be

okay at times? [Restating.]

(Client): This time.

(Therapist): It makes sense that you are in therapy given your history. Your

childhood was filled with hurt and anger and being on your own most of

the time. [Validation.]

(Client): You know it.

(Therapist): So you being here with all these feelings of anger and hurt makes sense

and it is where you need to be, but you also can experience your painful

thoughts and emotions and be okay. [Restating.]

(Client): I don’t know if I can.

(Therapist): I mean right now in this moment, you can experience unpleasant feelings

and be okay.

(Client): Right now, yeah.

(Therapist): Tell me how much you really believe you are okay experiencing these

painful thoughts and feelings on a scale of 1 to 10, right now.

(Client): Maybe a 6.

(Therapist): So, 60 percent of the time, you, in this moment, are able to experience

unpleasant feelings and be okay. [Restating.]

(Client): Yeah, I need more work with this shit, though.

(Therapist): You will keep working on it, because it works and you are important and

can experience some good stuff in life. [Consequences.]

(Client): Okay.
 (Therapist): Can I ask one more thing? You had endorsed the belief “Always” for

“Whenever I hurt, I do what it takes to feel better”. Right? [The therapist is

referencing an earlier assessment of beliefs endorsed by the client.]

(Client): Yeah.

(Therapist): So, before, what did you do to feel better? [Probing.]

(Client): Fight, drink, smoke weed. You know, stuff like that.

(Therapist): Okay, but you just experienced painful thoughts, hurtful feelings and that

hot lava—and you said you could deal with it 60 percent of the time, right

here and now. Right? [Summarizing and restating.]

(Client): Yeah, so?

(Therapist): So, is it possible to hurt and be okay with it in this moment? [Restating.]

(Client): Yeah, right now I can.

(Therapist): So right here and right now in this moment, you can hurt and be okay

and not have to fight, drink, smoke weed, or any other stuff like

nonconsensual sex? [Restating and consequences.]

(Client): Yeah, right now with you.

(Therapist): That’s where it starts. Good work for today! We’ll continue working on

this next session so you can feel numbness and pain and be okay in the

moment...Now, let’s end the session with a breathing mindfulness

exercise...

In the session above, the effective use of active listening becomes clear, especially as
the therapist validates the young client’s problem behavior as reasonable given his difficult past
experiences. He also uses summarizing, restating, and probing in alternating sequences to get
more meaningful information, ensure mutual understanding, and builds the client’s
commitment for action. He also utilizes silence to give the client time to think about a difficult
aspect of his problems. Now, think about the questions below.
You’re the Counselor
The client is an adolescent male with problem behaviors and a past of abuse. It is important
for a counselor to consider the maturity and abilities of a client in their interaction, which is
reflected in the active listening approaches that he uses. In this case, do you believe that the
therapist effectively interacted with the client given his young age?

Any counseling session should have a particular goal. The session is planned and
structured with that specific goal in mind. Active listening skills are applied with the
objective to achieve the goal with the client in the allotted time. What would you say the
session goal was - redirection of the client’s beliefs and validation of his experience? Was
this goal achieved? Could the therapist have done anything better or different?

In this Unit (1), the overall objective of counseling—as a structured and systematic

process to resolve a client’s psychological or performance problems and improve his or her

wellbeing—was discussed, as well as the broad roles and responsibilities of the counselor in

achieving a positive outcome. The importance of a strong therapeutic alliance in effective

counseling was emphasized, and the practice of active listening explained in order to build this

required level of mutual trust, while eliciting meaningful information to be used in the change

process. As has become clear at this time, the counseling process revolves around an interview

setting. The interviewing skills and tasks of the counselor will be explored in Unit 2, and its

role in the impact on the therapeutic relationship examined.

 Counseling is the practice KEY CONCEPTS

to improve psychological, social, or performance
deficits or abilities of a client.

 Counseling is a planned, systematic, structured, and step-wise process to

achieve an identified objective.

 The counselor facilitated the process by considering the client’s maturity

and abilities, and identify and resolve problems by eliciting information.

 The therapeutic alliance is the most important determinant of counseling

effectiveness.

 The practice of active listening contributes to the therapeutic alliance.

 The counselor has to adhere to ethic and professional guidelines to protect

everyone’s interests.
References

Gelso, C.J. & Carter, J. (1985). The relationship in counseling and psychotherapy:

Components, consequences, and theoretical antecedents. Counseling Psychologist,

13(2), 155-243. DOI: 10.1177/0011000085132001

Jennings, J. L., Apsche, J. A., Blossom, P., & Bayles, C. (2013). Using mindfulness in the

treatment of adolescent sexual abusers: Contributing common factor or a primary

modality? International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy, 8(3-4), 17-

22.

Knapp. H. (2007). Therapeutic communication: Developing professional skills. Thousand

Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

View publication stats