Lesson                           Biblical Parenting Principles
#1
                         God’s Goals for the Family
      We can make a great difference in our children's lives!
What is your greatest
parenting challenge?
What do you hope
to learn from these
parenting sessions?
   Purpose of Session #1
                                                of God’s purpose for the              Purpose:
                                                family in His kingdom
          To increase our                                                        To help parents adopt God’s
           understanding                                                         plan for their family
                                                of parents’ key role in
                                                shaping godly children.
 Do we have goals for our families?
     Education:       Without __________, there are no degrees.
     War:             Without __________, there are no victories.
     Family:          Without __________, there are no godly children.
                                Psalm 127:3-4
                    Behold, children are a gift of the LORD;               Children are given from
                    The fruit of the womb is a reward.                     the LORD Yahweh. We
                                                                           are accountable for them.
                    Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,                  God uses our children to
                    So are the children of one’s youth.                    produce great works of
                                                                           God.
                    How blessed is the man whose quiver is full            Children like arrows need
                    of them; They shall not be ashamed, When               to be straightened and
                    they speak with their enemies in the gate.             sharpened to be effective.
 Biblical Foundations for Freedom                                                         www.foundationsforfreedom.net
                  A . ) T h e S t ra i g ht a n d S h ar p Ar r ow
1) Negative Parenting
   No goals = poor vision                   “Keep him out of
                                                                                          Typical
                                                                                          approach
                                            trouble and he will                           to making
    • Never thought about it                be okay.”                                     goals.
                                                                                             Problem
    • Care for outward needs                “Don’t do that!”
                                            “Stop that!”
                                                                                         Goal:
                                                                                         Fix the problem!
2) Positive Parenting
                                                                                                           GO
     The child needs shaping.
     The parents goal is to produce a wise man.
                                                                                           God’s Word provides
     They are instilling a great vision in the child.                                            clear direction for
                                                                                             the child to follow.
                    Negative Parenting                            Positive Parenting
         Child’s future path is ________________          Child’s future path is clear
         Parents focus on the child’s misbehavior         Parents focus on child’s _____________
         The parent is ______________ and angry           The parent is encouraged
         The child feels rejected                         The child feels ____________
Biblical Principles for Parenting   God’s Goals for the Family       Lesson# 1                                  Page #2
"But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” (1 Timothy 1:5)
                                            3 Models enforcing each other
(1) Cultivate love from a pure heart (Mark 12:29-31)                                   "Jesus answered, "...You shall love the LORD your God
                                                                                       with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all
                                                                                       your mind, and with all your strength.‘ “The second is
                                             _________ of being                        this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
                                                                                       Mark 12:29-31, NASB
(2) Develop a good conscience (Proverbs 1:7-8)                                         "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowl-
                                                                                       edge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my
                                                 _________ of God                      son, your father's instruction, And do not forsake your
                                                                                       mother's teaching;” Proverbs 1:7,8, NASB.
(3) Form a sincere faith (Galatians 5:22-23)                                           "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
                                                                                       kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-
                                          _______ of the Spirit                        control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians
                                                                                       5:22,23,.
   Summary: Be like __________.
                                      B . ) Re ad y i ng yo u r A rr ow
  H ow do es a p ar en t rea dy t h ei r ch il d fo r G od ’s u se ?
  1) Problem Generation                                                                                              INSTRUCTIVE
  Droves of young people are leaving the church. Why? Inconsis-                                                       (TEACHING)
  tency. Our young people hear the talk but don’t see it lived out.
                                                                                                                        Significant
                                                                                                                        Conscious
                                                                                                                       Changeable
  2) Caught & Taught: The problem and solution
                                                                                                                      Learning from what
                                                                                                                          others say.
  Like many Christian parents, we have been duped into thinking that if we
  only tell our child the right thing, he will follow it. They are not so easily                                    ILLUSTRATIVE
  convinced!                                                                                                          (MODELING)
  The child learns more through what they see than what they hear.                                                      Influential
                                                                                                                       Unconscious
                                                                                                                     Hard to change
               (1) _______________ Learning                                                                          Learning from what
                  (Learn how to respond to authority)                                                                    others do.
               (2) _______________ Learning
                  (Learn how to relate to others)
               (3) _______________ Learning
                  (Learn how to deal with others (morals))
Biblical Principles for Parenting              God’s Goals for the Family          Lesson# 1                                      Page #3
                  Parents have tremendous shaping
                   power in their children’s lives.
                          Lack of self control                     Unresolved conflict
                Anger                           PARENT                                               Greedy
                                  Selfishness                        Ungenerous Bitterness
                           Laziness
                                                                Unkind Lustful eyes
                                                      Child
 Session Summary
                                                                           Goal-oriented:
    • Defining a straight arrow                                            Be like Jesus
                                                                          Children reflect
    • Readying that arrow                                                 their parents
    Sign your name below if you are willing, by His grace and power, to train your children to be like Jesus.
    Father: ____________________________
    Mother: ____________________________
    Assignment
         1) Reading: The Goals of Parenting
         2) Answer the questions at the end of the reading.
         3) Do the this project:
            (1) List two or three of your child rearing difficulties.
            (2) Try to identify the lack of which moral quality in your child that enables him to respond in such a way.
               (See partial list at top of sheet).
            (3) Positively state which character qualities they do need in order to respond rightly to you.
Biblical Principles for Parenting            God’s Goals for the Family           Lesson# 1                                Page #4
         Answers for blanks in Worksheet Session#1
     Education:     Without __goals___, there are no degrees.
     War:           Without __goals___, there are no victories.
     Family:        Without _goals____, there are no godly children.
        Negative Parenting                               Positive Parenting
Child’s future path is __unclear____            Child’s future path is clear
Parents focus on the child’s misbehavior        Parents focus on child’s __obedience___
The parent is __frustrated_ and angry           The parent is encouraged
The child feels rejected                        The child feels _secure___
    (1) Cultivate love from a pure heart (Mark 12:29-31)
                                         __TOTALITY_ of being
    (2) Develop a good conscience (Proverbs 1:7-8)
                                            __FEAR__ of God
    (3) Form a sincere faith (Galatians 5:22-23)
                                        _FRUIT_ of the Spirit
        Summary: Be like __Jesus__.
            (1) ____Positional___ Learning
               (Learn how to respond to authority)
            (2) ___Relational__ Learning
               (Learn how to relate to others)
            (3) ____Responsive___ Learning
               (Learn how to deal with others (morals))