PREVENTING

PARENTAL

Burnout
 Preventing Parental Burnout 1

Before we begin…
Being a parent nowadays is like running a marathon with no finish line in
sight.

There is balancing work demands with home life…

The never-ending to-do list…

There are soccer practices, doctor appointments, parent-teacher

meetings, and family dinners…

And of course, there is that unrelenting feeling of never quite measuring

up to your (or societies) standards.

I have heard the stories of thousands of parents, about how (especially

after COVID) they are struggling to keep it all together.

How they are in a chronic state of physical and emotional exhaustion,

where they aren’t only tired…

They feel absolutely defeated.

But there doesn’t seem to be any way around it.

You have a job, and a bottomless pit of housework, and children with
three or even four extracurricular activities.

And in the middle of all this, when do you have time for yourself?

Oh, that’s right—you always come last.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Parental burnout doesn’t have to be an inevitable consequence of your

parenting journey.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 2
In the pages that follow, I'll share insights and strategies that have
resonated with others who have walked a similar path.

It's not about offering grand solutions or setting unattainable standards.

Instead, it's about finding practical ways to make your parenting

journey less exhausting and more fulfilling.

So, if you've been feeling like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, I'm
here to tell you–there is.

Let's explore it together and uncover a way to make parenting not just
bearable but genuinely enjoyable.

​ o maximise the impact of the strategies you’re about to learn, I

T
encourage you to apply them as soon as you finish reading and remain
consistent in your efforts.

Enjoy the read and good luck!

– Marko Juhant
 Preventing Parental Burnout 3

TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1: THE BURNOUT EPIDEMIC.........................................................4
CHAPTER 2: THE IMPACT ON PARENTING AND FAMILY DYNAMICS............ 7
CHAPTER 3: THE PARENTAL BURNOUT TEST.............................................9
Interpreting the score..................................................................... 10
CHAPTER 4: 10 WAYS TO PREVENT PARENTAL BURNOUT........................ 12
4.1. Self-Care....................................................................................... 12
4.1.1. Carving Out Your Special “Me” Time......................................... 12
4.1.2. Time Delay............................................................................. 14
4.2. Setting Boundaries....................................................................... 16
4.3. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction Techniques.............................. 18
4.4 Don’t Do It Alone.............................................................................21
4.5 Forging Resilience.........................................................................24
4.6 Time management strategies....................................................... 26
4.6.1 Mono-Tasking......................................................................... 26
4.6.2 Building Routines...................................................................29
4.7 Rediscovering Joy.........................................................................32
4.8 Embracing imperfection................................................................35
NEXT STEPS.............................................................................................. 38
 Preventing Parental Burnout 4

CHAPTER 1: THE BURNOUT

EPIDEMIC
Back in 2022, Ohio State University conducted a very important study.

They wanted to examine what they termed as the “EPIDEMIC” of parental

burnout…

And their findings were shocking.

They did an online survey involving 1,285 working parents…

And discovered that sixty-six percent (66%) of them reported being

burned out.

That’s a huge amount.

So, to put things into perspective…

If you know 10 parents, it implies that at least 6 of them are

grappling with burnout.

Now, parenting stress is nothing new.

But burnout refers to chronic stress and exhaustion that overwhelm a

parent’s capacity to navigate life.

It's like being a battery that's been powering everyone else's

devices non-stop, and now you're drained with nothing left to
charge yourself up.

It can be characterised by four main symptoms that resonate with

overwhelmed parents:

1. Experiencing physical and emotional exhaustion, often both.

 Preventing Parental Burnout 5
That means the quality of your sleep drops (which leaves you feeling tired
all the time)...

Your appetite changes…

You can start feeling unexpected aches and pains all over your body…

And you may find yourself experiencing heightened stress, irritability, and
a sense of being completely overwhelmed by even the simplest of tasks in
your day.

A study examining the cortisol levels (the stress hormone that becomes
our body's alarm system) in mothers of children with autism and
behavioral challenges showed that these moms had stress signals in
their bodies similar to what soldiers have in combat.

Can you imagine?

Of course it must be impossible to imagine thriving in your parenting role

when you're in constant battle mode.

2. Feeling ashamed and/or ineffective

Another sign of parental burnout is feeling ashamed of your parenting

skills or thinking you’re not doing a good job.

You may feel ineffective and doubt your abilities.

When you feel like you’re not living up to their expectations, you can also
start feeling guilty about not doing enough or not being the perfect
parent.

I came across another study, where they examined the cortisol levels (the
stress hormone) in mothers of kids with autism and behaviour challenges.

And they found that their cortisol patterns are comparable to those of
combat soldiers.

It's tough to imagine thriving in your parenting role when you're in

constant battle mode.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 6
3. Feeling overwhelmed and/or "fed up"

Juggling various tasks, along with the pressure to meet your children's
needs, can lead to frustration and exhaustion.

The joy they once found in parenting can fade, and it can get replaced by
a sense of being trapped or discontent.

This emotional strain makes it hard for you to find satisfaction or meaning
in your daily responsibilities.

4. Emotional Disconnection

One of the most common symptoms of burnout is that you start feeling
disconnected from your children…

And even though you can successfully go through the motions of

parenting, there's a mental and emotional emptiness.

You can play with your kids but don't enjoy it anymore.

When that bond starts to weaken, everything about parenting gets harder.

The laughs and cuddles that should fill up your day and make all the hard
work worth it start slipping away.

So, if I sum it all up…

Parental burnout is a state of complete depletion where parents feel they

have nothing more to give.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 7

CHAPTER 2: THE IMPACT ON

PARENTING AND FAMILY
DYNAMICS
Just like catching a cold from someone's sneeze, the stress and emotions
of parents can easily 'infect' their children.

It is called the “emotional contagion hypothesis.”

This is a simple way to understand how family dynamics are affected by

parental burnout.

The stress changes how a parent acts.

They become tired and overwhelmed…

And they might become too strict or punish too harshly, all because
they're struggling themselves.

They might yell, say hurtful things, or even lose their temper in more
serious ways…

Or they could start feeling annoyed by their kids or wish they could have
a break from being a parent.

And kids really feel it when their parents are burned out.

They can start exhibiting internalising (emotional) and externalising

(behavioural) problems, as well as difficulties with attention.

Studies show that it can lead to children feeling sad or acting out, and
even having trouble paying attention.

Parents, too tired to give the hugs, talks, and smiles their kids need, can
make the whole family feel disconnected.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 8
It's tough for everyone to get through challenges or enjoy time together.

Think about what messages kids get from seeing their parents so worn
out.

Do they learn that love is about joy, or do they think love means
being unhappy?

They might even feel guilty, thinking they're the reason their parents are
so tired, and start asking for less to try and help them.

This cycle of stress doesn't just make things hard now; it can teach kids
unhealthy ideas about family and caring for others, which they might
carry into their own lives later.

So, the impact of burnout goes beyond just the parents…

It reaches into the very heart of the family…

And it affects the bonds and dynamics that shape a child's future.

A stressed and burnout-ridden household is less likely to function

cohesively, impacting the ability to navigate challenges together and find
joy in shared experiences.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 9

CHAPTER 3: THE PARENTAL

BURNOUT TEST
If you’re wondering whether you’re experiencing signs of parental
burnout, your first step is to complete this test.

This test consists of 10 questions designed to assess parental burnout.

For each question, please read the statement carefully and consider how
frequently you have experienced the described feelings or situations in
the past month.

Then, circle the number in the corresponding bracket, for example:

Answer each question

honestly, based on your
actual feelings and
experiences.

Once you have completed

all 10 questions, add up
the scores for each
response to obtain your
total score.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 10
Interpreting the score

● 0-10 Points: No or few signs of burnout

Congratulations!

It seems you're managing well and experiencing minimal signs of

burnout.

Keep up the good work and continue prioritising self-care to maintain a

healthy balance between work, life, and parenting responsibilities.

● 11-20 Points: Mild burnout

You're showing some signs of mild burnout.

It's essential to take preventive measures now to avoid further escalation.

Consider incorporating short self-care breaks into your routine, practising

stress reduction techniques, and building resilience.

Identify and address stressors, and don't hesitate to seek support from
available resources such as family, friends, or neighbours.

● 21-30 Points: Moderate burnout

You need to take action.

Start implementing interventions into your daily routine, establish clear

boundaries to protect your well-being, and allocate dedicated time each
day for self-care.

Reduce stressors wherever possible and utilise available support

resources.
Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength.

● 31+ Points: Severe burnout

Your test results indicate severe burnout, requiring urgent attention.

 Preventing Parental Burnout 11
It's absolutely vital to prioritise your mental well-being and take
immediate action to address your burnout symptoms.

Implement regular self-care breaks, practise stress reduction techniques,

establish clear boundaries with your children, and seek support from
available resources.

Addressing parental burnout means acknowledging this gap and finding

ways to bridge it.

It's about getting support, taking time to recharge, and finding those
moments of joy with your kids again.

It's not an overnight fix, but understanding and tackling this

disconnection is a big step toward feeling more present and fulfilled as a
parent.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 12

CHAPTER 4: 10 WAYS TO
PREVENT PARENTAL BURNOUT
In this chapter, we will explore 10 effective ways to prevent parental
burnouts.

You will learn some practical insights and strategies to navigate the
complexities of raising children while maintaining your own well-being.

4.1. Self-Care
4.1.1. Carving Out Your Special “Me” Time
Let’s start at the beginning.

The day is over, you’ve put the kids to bed, the clock is nearing midnight
and…

Once again, those precious "five minutes” for yourself slipped away during
the chaos of the day.

But let me be clear…

Taking care of yourself must be on your list.

Often, parents turn to me and ask, ”Marko, what’s the secret to

successful parenting?”

Without hesitation, my response always remains the same, “Taking care

of yourself first”.

You know how, on the plane, they always tell you to put your own oxygen
mask on before helping the people around you?

The same logic applies to families, too.

 Preventing Parental Burnout 13
If you’re stressed and exhausted, if you can’t find time for the most basic
self-care and rest, and are on the edge of falling apart, you can’t possibly
look after anyone else in your family.

I know it can be difficult to pull away and take some time to practise
self-care…

But the truth is that you're burning the candle at both ends, and there's a
ticking time bomb of burnout waiting to explode.

The solution here is simpler than you might think: Carve out regular "me
time" in your schedule.

Because when you do, it not only positively impacts your health, it
positively impacts your relationship with your family.

You can use the 3-3 Technique: inform, write, and insist.

#1 INFORM your family or friends about your plan.

Just take a couple of minutes and think about what would calm you down
the most…

What do you think you really need to function better in your day?

When you know what it is…

Whether it’s a relaxing walk, a quiet reading hour, a long bath or a quick
nap….

Make your plan known to your loved ones – your partner, your family,
your friends.

By expressing your needs and intentions, you create transparency and

establish a foundation of understanding.

Let them know about the specific self-care activity you have in mind and
the time you'd like to allocate for it.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 14
#2 WRITE it down.

Put it in your journal, planner, or on a sticky note.

Making a visible commitment reinforces your resolve.

#3 INSIST on keeping to your schedule.

Don't cancel, and be firm about this commitment to yourself.

Treat it like an important meeting with your boss…

You wouldn’t cancel that appointment, wouldn’t you?

Embracing this strategy will lead to a healthier, happier you.

You'll find yourself with more energy, a calmer mindset, and the ability to
enjoy the present moment with your family.

4.1.2. Time Delay

Now that you know how to make time for things that bring you joy...

There is also one other thing that we need to address.

A lot of people think self-care means doing things that help you unwind
and relax after a long and busy day.

But self-care ALSO means knowing when to step away when

you’re not feeling your best and you’re facing a potentially
explosive situation.

Imagine you’re feeling a little under the weather…

Or it’s been a really long day at work, your boss just gave you a two-hour
workload, and you’re really stressed…

Or you haven’t been getting enough sleep for the last couple of days.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 15
In these moments, it might not be the best time to get into an argument,
handle a big parenting challenge, or try to change your child's behaviour.

When you’re not feeling like your best self, you should first take
care of yourself.

And for all those instances, there is a quick and effective technique I call
Time Delay.

By using what I call a Time Delay, you give yourself (and your child) a
chance to approach the matter with a fresh perspective in a day or two.

In those moments, it's perfectly fine to say:

● "I think today isn't the right day to address this, but we will have a
conversation about this later."

● “Look, I can’t let this slide. But I’m also not in the right mood to
discuss this in a fair way. We’ll talk about the consequences later.”

● “This talk isn’t over, and we’ll talk more about it tomorrow, once we
both get some rest.

Remember, it's not about avoiding the issue.

It’s about giving yourself the space and time needed to handle it
more effectively.

When you’re in the heat of the moment you quickly switch into auto-pilot
mode…

You don’t think about your responses and your reactions…

And you can’t approach the problem with a calm, wise clarity of mind.

If you use Time Delay, you can engage in self-care activities that help you
recharge.

Whether it's taking a short nap, going for a walk, practising deep
breathing, or simply enjoying a cup of tea.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 16
When you come back to the situation in a couple of hours, in a day, or in
two days with a refreshed mindset, you'll find that you can address it
more constructively.

Additionally, having an open conversation with your child about these

moments can really help you.

Children understand more than you think; you don’t have to go through it
alone.

Let them know that sometimes adults need a moment to collect

their thoughts and manage their emotions.

This not only models healthy coping mechanisms but also fosters
understanding and empathy within your family.

4.2. Setting Boundaries

If everything in your family revolves around your child…

If the entire family schedule bends to accommodate their desires,

demands, hobbies, and obligations…

If you find yourself wasting your energy to cater to their every whim…

To do everything they SHOULD have done, but haven’t….

Let me tell you that this kind of parenting doesn’t really prove that you
love your child.

It doesn’t benefit them and it doesn’t benefit you.

You’re not making things easier for them…

You are wasting your energy, your time, and your opportunity to
teach them responsibility and independence.

This is why you HAVE to learn how to set boundaries for yourself.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 17
This will help you manage your time and energy so that you don't get
overwhelmed.

It will also help you find more balance in your life.

And the easiest way to do that is to stop trying to control THEIR

behaviour.

This will only make you lose more energy.

Instead of trying to make THEM do something, focus on what YOU will do.

For example:

● “After you've finished your part of the yard work, I’ll drive you to
your friends’ house.”

● "When you've completed your chores, I'm ready to help you with
your art project."

● “If you guys start bickering in the car, I will pull over."

Just tell your child what needs to be done and what your response will be
once they finish (or if they don't).

And then Follow Through consistently.

So, if your child tends to leave a mess in their room, and you usually find
yourself picking up toys and Legos…

Just tell them: “When your toys are put away, I will prepare everything to
start our movie night."

Resist the urge to tidy up their toys for them.

Instead, find a spot in the living room, engage in a book, or attend to

whatever requires your attention.

Wait for your child to approach you and announce they've completed the
task.

If you go to check their room and see the toys still scattered around…
 Preventing Parental Burnout 18
Don’t say anything, don’t yell.

Just stay calm, return to the living room and continue with reading the
book (or whatever you were doing).

If your child asks: “What about the movie?”

Simply inform them: “I told you. I will start the movie when the toys are
put away.”

This approach might initially lead to some resistance or frustration from

your child, as they might be used to you taking care of certain tasks.

However, it's important to stand your ground and remain consistent in

enforcing the boundaries you've set.

You have to recognize that teaching responsibility and independence is a

gradual process.

By setting clear boundaries and encouraging your child to take on

age-appropriate responsibilities, you're redistributing the workload within
the family.

This prevents the burden from solely falling on you.

The balance you achieve will not only benefit you but also lay the
groundwork for a more harmonious and resilient family environment.

4.3. Mindfulness and Stress

Reduction Techniques
We often feel like we need to take big actions to create big change…

But really it’s the small actions, like a short meditation or a couple of
breathing exercises, that can add up to a big mood shift.

So, I really advise you to take a couple of minutes before bed (or
whenever you find the time)…
 Preventing Parental Burnout 19
And try to do body scan meditation.

Body scan meditation is a powerful tool to grow a deeper connection with

your body, embracing its sensations in any given moment.

This practice is versatile and can be quickly integrated into any part of
your day.

Begin by finding a quiet, safe space to lie down.

You can even invite your child to join you and make it a nice little routine.
This is what you’re going to do.

#1 Lie on your back with legs uncrossed, arms relaxed, and eyes
open or closed.

Focus on breathing for two minutes until you feel calm.

#2 Shift focus to specific body parts, starting with the toes.

Ask yourself (and your child) about the sensations in each body part.

For example:

● "What do you feel in your toes right now?"

● "Do they feel warm, cool, or neutral?"

● "Are there any subtle movements or tingling sensations?"

Encourage descriptive responses, like warmth, coolness, tingling, or

perhaps a sense of heaviness or lightness.

It's okay if expressing sensations in words is challenging; focus on feeling

and noticing.

#3 Gradually move up through the body.

Extend this process through each section of your body, proceeding from
the feet to the ankles, calves, knees, thighs, and so forth.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 20
Feel the sensations in each area without assigning labels like 'good' or
'bad.'

This deliberate focus allows you to cultivate awareness and presence in

each moment.

#4 Explore areas of discomfort.

Pay special attention to areas that might hold tension, pain, or discomfort.
Instead of instinctively trying to push away or alleviate discomfort, shift
your mindset.

Try to be curious—ask yourself, "What is this sensation trying to tell me?"

Embrace an attitude of acceptance and remember that discomfort is a

natural part of the human experience.

By systematically acknowledging and releasing tension, the body scan

meditation mitigates the physiological impact of stress and promotes a
sense of calm.

The beauty of the body scan lies in its ability to uncover and release
tension that often goes unnoticed, originating from stress or anxiety.

Moreover, it goes beyond that – it enhances your capacity to recognize

and respond to the physical signals and sensations your body sends.
Incorporating this into your routine can become a powerful strategy for
you.

The cumulative effect of these small moments of self-awareness and

acceptance can contribute significantly to your overall well-being.

Remember, it's not about the length of time spent but the consistency and
intention behind each session.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 21
4.4 Don’t Do It Alone
Have you ever heard of the quote: “It takes a village to raise a child?”

Well, it also takes a village to support YOU, the parents.

Even those of you who think you have it all figured out need help.

Feeling like you're the only one holding the reins in the household is an
overwhelming and isolating experience.

That’s because parenting just feels easier when you know that you’ve got
another set of competent hands on deck in case things fall apart.

If your family and friends aren't offering help, it could be because

you're not asking.

Ask people around you to help you bring up your kid.

They might have older siblings who can help with school projects.

Or what about that kind neighbour who could teach them to identify local
plants and trees in the park?

Often, your concerns and frustrations go unvoiced because you worry

about being 'impolite' or misunderstood.

This solo journey can feel like sailing in rough seas with no land in sight.

So…

Whether you need a momentary break or just some assistance,

remember, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

The worst thing that can happen is that they’ll say no.

And the best that can happen is that they’ll say yes, which means you will
have some much-needed time on your own.

It's not about burdening others, but about sharing responsibilities.

 Preventing Parental Burnout 22
I recommend you try the three-step mantra of 'trust - delegate -
unburden'.

The goal here is to divide tasks, share the load, and breathe a little easier.

Be specific and don’t ask just for ‘help’ but be SPECIFIC.

Ask your neighbour to spend some time with your child in the park
because you think they are spending too much time in front of the screen.

Ask their grandparents to help with homework because you have that
dance class in the evening.

At some point, you can even start rotating tasks in the family.

Give everyone a clear understanding of what you need them for and when
it is their turn to step in.

Make a list of all tasks and responsibilities that need attention, like
chores, school tasks, and family activities.

This will help in organising the schedule effectively.

Develop a visual representation of the schedule using a shared calendar, a

whiteboard, or a digital scheduling tool.

Let's say you have three primary areas of responsibility that you want to
share: cooking, cleaning, and helping the kids with homework.

If you have a partner and two older children, you could create a weekly
rotation system, similar to this one:

Week 1:

Parent 1: Cooking
Parent 2: Vacuuming the living room
Child 1: Homework help
Child 2: Free from these tasks
 Preventing Parental Burnout 23
Week 2:

Parent 1: Vacuuming the living room

Parent 2: Homework help
Child 1: Free from these tasks
Child 2: Cooking (with adult supervision and help)

If you feel like you don’t have anyone, I suggest looking into community
resources.

There are often local programs, support groups, or parenting

classes that can provide valuable assistance.

Schools, community centres, and religious organisations may offer

resources or connect you with other parents facing similar challenges.

Building a support network doesn't necessarily mean relying solely on

family and friends; it's about creating a community around you.

Single parents, for instance, might find solace in connecting with other
single parents who understand the unique challenges they face.

Plus, spending time with adults you like will make you happy–and
when you’re happy, you’re not freaking out.

Online communities can also be a fantastic resource.

Parenting forums, social media groups, and virtual support networks allow
you to connect with parents worldwide.

The beauty of these online communities is that you can find advice and
support at any time, regardless of your geographical location.

By embracing the support and assistance available to you, you're not just
benefiting yourself…

But also contributing to the well-being and development of your child

within a caring and interconnected community.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 24
4.5 Forging Resilience
Every parent experiences stress every now and then.

But some of them have a harder time dealing with it.

And the deciding factor?

Resilience.

Parental resilience refers to the ability to tap into your inner strength…

To confront personal and child-related challenges…

And function well even in the most unique family circumstances.

Even in the face of challenges, adversity, and trauma.

Researchers emphasise that how parents respond to stressors is more

crucial than the stressors themselves in determining outcomes for both
parents and children.

But resilience is not something you are just born with.

It’s a skill you can develop.

Now, here’s the interesting thing about resilience…

The best time to practise is when you feel calm.

Think of it like learning a new language…

You don't start with fluent conversations right away.

You begin with something manageable, like learning and practising small
phrases, and gradually progress from there.

So, when you’re relaxed, you can start doing something that requires
patience – like waiting in line, building furniture, doing a puzzle, or
playing a board game.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 25
While you're doing these tasks, pay close attention to the thoughts that
pop into your mind.

When negative thoughts start to creep in, make a conscious effort

to recognize them and then start changing them.

Instead of telling yourself, "I can't handle this," try saying, "I've got this,
and I can handle whatever comes my way.”

Challenges are opportunities to learn and grow, and I've proven my

resilience before."

And if you don’t believe yourself, try a little exercise right now.

Actually, grab a pen and paper, so you can write it down for more effect…

And then answer these questions:

● Think about a time when you had a hard problem at work or in your
life. How did you solve it? What did you do to make things better?

● Remember a time when things didn't go well at first, but you turned
it around. How did you do it? What changed for the better?

● Can you remember a time when you exceeded your own

expectations?

● Have you ever faced something scary or really tough? How did you
get through it? What did you learn from that experience?

This exercise serves as a reminder that you’ve been resilient before.

You've tackled challenges and conquered difficulties.

All you need to do is REMEMBER IT.

The goal here is not to dismiss the difficulties you face, but to shift your
mindset towards seeing them as opportunities for growth.

You're essentially rewiring your brain to perceive challenges as stepping

stones rather than stumbling blocks.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 26
With time, you'll find that not only are you better equipped to handle
stress, but you're also setting an example for your children on how to
confront life’s ups and downs with resilience and fortitude.

4.6 Time management strategies

4.6.1 Mono-Tasking
Are you also one of those parents who simultaneously tries to cook
dinner, help your kid with their chemistry homework, feed the dog, and
attempt to chart out your plans for the next day?

All in the effort to…

Save time?

And be productive?

Well, let me burst this bubble.

Contrary to popular belief, multitasking doesn't necessarily lead to

increased productivity.

In fact, it often results in REDUCED efficiency and quality of work, as the

brain is forced to constantly switch gears between different tasks.

What we perceive as multitasking is actually task-switching,

which can decrease overall productivity by up to 40%.

Eventually, it will take you way longer to get things done…

And you’ll become increasingly anxious about not being able to do it all.

For parents, this constant switching between tasks can lead to a decrease
in the quality of both parenting and work…

It is what makes your stress levels burst through the roof…

It heightens your cognitive load and emotional strain…

 Preventing Parental Burnout 27
And it leads to mental fatigue, reduced attention to each task, and a
feeling of being overwhelmed.

You need to face the fact that the human brain is NOT made for juggling
multiple tasks at once…

And then, make a CONSCIOUS switch to doing just one thing at a time.

I call this mono-tasking.

This is how you go about it:

#1 Prioritise your tasks:

Start by identifying the most critical tasks for the day.

Prioritise them based on urgency and importance.

1. Urgent and Important (do first):

These are tasks that require immediate attention and have significant
consequences if not completed.

Examples for a working parent could include:

● A work project with a deadline today.

● Taking your child to a doctor’s appointment.

● Preparing or arranging a meal for the family.

2. Important but Not Urgent (schedule):

These tasks are important for long-term goals but do not need immediate
action.

Plan them for later.

 Preventing Parental Burnout 28
Examples include:

● Planning a weekend family outing.

● Working on a presentation for work that's due next week.

● Setting aside time for exercise or personal hobbies.

3. Urgent but Not Important (delegate if possible):

These tasks require immediate attention but may not be directly

important to your goals.

Whenever possible, delegate these.

Examples might be:

● Responding to non-critical work emails.

● Buying groceries (which can be delegated through online shopping

or to another family member).

● Household chores that can be shared with a partner or older

children.

4. Neither Urgent nor Important (limit or eliminate):

These are activities that don’t contribute to your immediate needs or

long-term goals. Limit these activities as much as possible.

Examples could be:

● Browsing on social media (I know it might be tempting, but it’s just

worsening your mental health)

● Reorganising your closet

● Volunteering for a school event or committee

#2 Focus on one task at a time:

Dedicate your full attention to one task before moving on to the next.

This might mean setting aside specific times for different activities.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 29
You see, if you don’t put conscious effort into cooking dinner first and
then helping your kid do their homework…

It will take you longer to finish both.

This will only put more pressure on you.

So I will need you to be VIGILANT.

And the next time you catch yourself doing two things (or thinking about
doing two things at the same time)...

Remind yourself you can only pick up ONE THING AT THE TIME.

Prioritise your tasks and do the most important ones first.

This will save you a lot of energy, a lot of stress and (even if you don’t
believe me) a lot of time.

In the end, it's not just about getting through your list of tasks.

It's about being there, truly present, for each of them.

It's about the quality of time you spend with your child, the attention you
give to your work, and the care you put into yourself.

Mono-tasking isn’t just a productivity hack; it's a way to bring sanity back
into your hectic life, to breathe a little easier.

It’s alright if the dishes are still in the sink; you can “schedule” it for
tomorrow and put it under URGENT and IMPORTANT.

4.6.2 Building Routines

Routines provide structure and predictability, which are essential for both
parents and children, especially during times of stress.

When you are dealing with burnout, you may find yourself struggling to
keep up with daily tasks and responsibilities.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 30
And this can lead to exhaustion, frustration, chaos, and a sense of
overwhelm.

By implementing routines, you can create a sense of order and stability in

your lives.

And that will make it easier to manage your daily tasks and
responsibilities.

For children, routines offer a sense of security and consistency,

which are crucial for their emotional well-being and development.

Knowing what to expect and when to expect it can help them feel safe
and secure, even during challenging times.

Routines also help them develop important life skills, such as time
management, organisation, and self-discipline.

So I strongly suggest that you start building routines for both–you and
your child.

Let’s start with writing down your morning routine.

Mornings can often set the tone for the entire day, and having a
structured routine can help ensure a smoother start for the both of you.

Take a pen and paper and write it down for you and your child. You can
include your kid in the process.

For example:

Your child’s morning routine:

● Wake up and stretch: 7:00 am

● Use the bathroom and wash face: 7:05 am

● Get dressed for the day: 7:15 am

● Eat breakfast with family: 7:30 am

● Brush teeth and comb hair: 8:00 am

 Preventing Parental Burnout 31
● Pack school bag with homework and supplies: 8:15 am

● Review schedule for the day: 8:20 am

● Head out the door for school: 8:30 am

Your morning routine:

● Wake up and stretch: 6:30 am

● Take a moment for mindfulness or gratitude: 6:35 am

● Use the bathroom (wash your face, teeth): 6:40 am

● Get dressed for the day: 6:50 am

● Take a few minutes for self-care or relaxation (e.g., meditation,

journaling): 7:00 am

● Prepare breakfast for the family: 7:10 am

● Eat breakfast together: 7:30 am

● Clean up breakfast dishes: 7:45 am

● Review your schedule for the day: 7:50 am

● Double-check your work bag and essentials: 8:00 am

● Head out the door for work or start your work-from-home day: 8:30
am

Feel free to adjust these routines to better fit your family's needs and
preferences.

You can set up a routine for the evening or one for when everyone gets
back from school or work, depending on what you think will help you and
your family the most.

The key is to establish consistency and structure to start the day off on
the right foot for both you and your child.

As you implement these routines, you may encounter some challenges or

resistance from your child, especially if they're not used to such
structured mornings.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 32
Be patient and offer gentle encouragement, emphasising the benefits of
routines for their well-being and success.

Involving them in the process, perhaps by allowing them to choose

aspects of their routine or create a visual schedule, can increase their
buy-in and sense of ownership.

Consistency is crucial.

Try to stick to the routines as closely as possible, but be flexible when

necessary.

Life can be unpredictable, and there will inevitably be days when

deviations are unavoidable.

The goal is not perfection but rather the establishment of a framework

that provides stability and support.

4.7 Rediscovering Joy

The thing is that when you’re burnt out, it’s highly likely that you aren’t
experiencing all the good sides of parenting.

The excitement when your kid draws something funny in the

kindergarten…

When they successfully tie their shoelaces without falling over…

Or the joy that fills your heart when they come running towards you with
open arms after a day at school.

You can desperately try to make up for that but, if you are depleted, even
enjoyable activities can be draining.

Before attempting any sort of reconnection, replenish yourself first (go

through chapter 4.1).

Once you've restored some balance, you can start planning some
activities you both (genuinely) enjoy.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 33
Remember, being in the same physical space doesn't equate to
meaningful time together.

Quality time is intentional and engaging, not just coexistence.

You can take a walk in the forest and gather some plants to make a
herbarium…

You can learn how to knit and make scarves and jumpers in the evening…

Or you can consider engaging in creative arts and crafts projects.

Painting, drawing, or crafting can be therapeutic for both you and your
child.
The process of creating something together fosters a sense of
accomplishment and joy.

Rediscovering joy often involves finding shared hobbies or interests.

Whether it's playing a musical instrument, cooking together, or exploring

new board games, identifying activities that genuinely bring both of you
happiness can be a powerful way to reconnect.

There are also two rituals that I consider to be very healthy AND healing
for the relationship at home.

#1 Tea Time of Triumphs

The Tea Time of Triumphs is a delightful tradition that you can do either
weekly or monthly.

It's essentially a tea gathering (which can be any preferred beverage,

although tea parties have a magical touch, especially if you have special
cups and a can of cookies or a bit of chocolate…).

During this time, engage in discussions about the “victories” achieved

during that week.

From the smallest triumphs to the grandest achievements, all are

significant and deserving of recognition.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 34
Each participant takes turns listing some of their proudest victories.

These can range from forming new friendships, nurturing existing ones,
recalling entertaining activities that linger in memory, to personal,
academic, or sports-related accomplishments.

Overcoming obstacles and solving problems also fall under the category of
celebrated victories.

It's a moment to concentrate on the positive, the sweet, and the

praiseworthy.

This ritual aims to convey to your child that even the tiniest victories
matter, that they are noticed, and most importantly, appreciated.
And it does the same for you.

Remember when we talked about gaining resilience in the previous

chapter?

Well, this is the perfect way to do it.

#The Tree of Gratitude

In general, we often fail to express gratitude for all things…

And the same thing applies to family.

You can start “fixing” this by creating a makeshift tree.

Find and collect some dried branches (you can also make this into a
family adventure) and then plant them in a large pot filled with sand.

Alternatively you can also draw the gratitude tree on a poster.

Assign each family member a colour for paper leaves, adding a touch of
creativity by cutting them into realistic shapes.

This hands-on approach engages everyone in the process.

On a weekly or monthly basis, take a moment to write down something

you're grateful for on these leaves and attach them to the branches.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 35
Choose a frequency that suits your family's rhythm – whether daily,
weekly, or monthly.

The key is to turn this into an opportunity for open discussions within the
family.

Now, why does this matter?

Studies suggest that practising gratitude is a powerful antidote to

stress.

By regularly acknowledging and appreciating the good things, you can

significantly enhance your emotional well-being.

The Gratitude Tree is more than a creative exercise – it's a tangible way
to shift your focus from the stressors to the positive aspects of family life.

It becomes a shared experience that strengthens bonds and, in turn,

becomes a valuable tool in easing parental burnout.

Give it a shot; you might be surprised how this simple, personal touch can
bring joy and resilience back into your parenting journey.

By focusing on self-care and intentional connections with your child, you'll

find the joy in parenting seeping back in.

4.8 Embracing imperfection

In the age of social media and endless parenting advice, it's easy to fall
into the trap of striving for perfection as a parent.

You’re being bombarded with images of flawless families and stories of

parenting success, and that can lead you to believe that perfection is not
only attainable but necessary.

You have to be "the best" in every role—caretaker, educator,

disciplinarian…

However, the reality is far from this idealised image.

 Preventing Parental Burnout 36
The myth of the perfect parent is just that… a myth.

And yet, many of you still beat yourselves up for struggling to meet these
entirely unrealistic standards…

And in doing so, you often neglect your own needs and well-being.

I've witnessed firsthand the toll that perfectionism can take on parents.

It leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy.

To break free from the cycle of perfectionism and parental burnout, it's
essential for you to gain perspective on the myriad of parenting advice
and expectations that surround them.

Just as every child is unique, so too is every parent-child relationship.

What works for one family may not work for another, and that's okay.

By embracing imperfection and letting go of the need for external

validation, parents can create a more authentic and fulfilling parenting
experience.

This is why I suggest you introduce yourself to… Filbert the

Squirrel.

Imagine your inner voice not as a strict teacher, but as a quirky squirrel
named Filbert.

Whenever that voice starts squeaking about perfection, picture Filbert

frantically arranging acorns in straight lines or engaging in other comical
antics.

This simple trick of visualising Filbert helps to inject a dose of humour into
moments of self-doubt and perfectionism.

By personifying your inner critic as a whimsical character, you can

recognize the irrationality of your thoughts and take them less seriously.

For example…
 Preventing Parental Burnout 37
Imagine you’re attending your child’s school event.

You watch other parents and you start feeling inadequate and
overwhelmed by what you should be doing…

Try to imagine Filbert’s squeaky voice in your head.

Imagine the acorns rolling around the table, and him frantically trying to
put each one in its designated place.
This might help you take a step back and realise that comparing yourself
to others is futile and that your presence and support for your child is
what really matters.

By incorporating Filbert's whimsical presence into your daily life, you can
transform moments of self-doubt and perfectionism into opportunities for
laughter and self-compassion.
 Preventing Parental Burnout 38

NEXT STEPS
Congratulations!

You finished the Preventing Parental Burnout Guide.

This achievement marks a significant milestone in your journey toward

reclaiming joy and balance in your parenting experience.

As you reflect on the insights and strategies shared throughout this guide,
remember that the goal is not perfection but rather the establishment of a
framework that provides stability and support.

May you continue to find joy, fulfillment, and growth in your role as a
parent.

Marko Juhant
StrategicParenting.com