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OBJECT-RELATION CHANGES IN THE ANALYSIS OF A

FETISHIST 1

By DUGMORE HUNTER, LONDON

Recent work on fetishism (Payne 1939, Gil- WhICh he obtained a scholarship to a grammar
lespie 1940 and 1952, Wulff 1946) has sought school. To be top of the classfwas the key to
to clarify the meaning of fetishism in terms of maternal approval. He worked hard and
early object relations. In writing about the eventually obtained a university scholarship
analysis of a fetishist I have chosen to focus on and a first-class honours degree.
the changes in object relations which took place But at thirty-one he was leading a very
during the analysis and especially in its closing restricted life. All social relationships were a
phases. I shall try to show something of the source of embarrassment to him. His work
interplay of the analytic relationship, and how relationships as a teacher were tolerable only in
changes there produced movement towards a so far as they were defined and controlled. Pro-
gradual reordering of the patient's inner world tected by the formalities of the • teacher-pupil
and of his attitudes to people. The emphasis relationship' he could teach, but end-of-term
will therefore be not on the fetishism as such parties were a nightmare to him. He was
but on the character disorder behind it. Indeed, afraid of the headmaster but sought his approval.
it is now my conviction that in all sexual per- Colleagues were thought of, quite consciously,
version what matters most is the turning away as dangerous rivals, while subordinates pre-
from the primary object, and that what most sented so acute a threat that he always tried
helped my patient to discard his fetish was not to avoid having one. The arrival of a new
interpretations bearing directly on the fetish but trainee in his own department was always an
work on his intense paranoid and depressive occasion of crisis. His work embodied a deli-
anxieties (the former open, the latter concealed). cate balance of neurotic satisfactions and neu-
These anxieties had origin in his early relations rotic anxieties; it was competent but rigid.
with his mother, impeded relationships with He had few friends, no general interests. He
women throughout life, and ultimately beca .e liked eating but felt guilty about it. He also
the focal point of his analytic relationship enjoyed defaecating. Apart from these two
with me." pleasures, a satisfactory evening was one spent
My patient came to analysis wishing to free idly by the fire, grumbling inwardly. With his
himself from the anxieties surrounding his parents he lived in a bickering deadlock. His
mackintosh fetishism and seeking help 'to overt relation with his mother was one of mutual
live a normal life '. The work was brought to exploitation: he supported her against the
an end after five and a half years and approxi- father; she waited on him hand and foot. He
mately 900 sessions. was a vegetarian, a pacifist, and in war-time a
He came for treatment at the age of thirty- conscientious objector.
one, a schoolmaster, an only child, single, There had been in his life perhaps half a
living alone with his parents. They came from dozen inhibited friendships with girls, pseudo-
Scottish artisan families. His father was a platonic and mutually frustrating. On the
true craftsman and latterly manager of a work- one occasion when, at twenty-four, these
shop; but his mother, formerly a dressmaker, inhibitions appeared likely to be broken down,
was socially ambitious and determined that her his parents interfered and he accepted their
son should not • work with his hands'. The interference.
patient was sent to a private day-school, from In appearance he was plump, open-faced,
1 Awarded the Clinical Essay Prize of the Institute of the analysis, and to Mrs. Klein, in whose seminars this
Psycho-Analysis, London, for 1953. case was most fruitfully discussed on several occasions.
2 I wish to tender grateful acknowledgements to Dr. The later phases of the analysis were carried out indepen-
Clifford Scott, who supervised the first three years of dently, as was the writing of this paper.
302
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ANALYSIS OF A FETISHIST 303

almost cherubic; but his appearance was nor son must set foot on her floors without
deceptive, since it concealed massive hostility changing into slippers. She fed them well and
and a troubled mental life. What it revealed controlled them.
was his wish to go on being the baby. Indeed, The father emerged as an irritable, taciturn,
it soon emerged that he thought of himself as a but long-suffering man, who only occasionally
little boy and resented the expectation of the exploded; partly cccepting his wife's deprecia-
external world that he should accept adult tory view of himself; disappointed, but secretly
responsibilities. He would do so only for proud of his humble origins and manual
infantile reasons-to placate the grown-ups and skills; contemptuous of his wife's pretensions.
win their approval. He consciously wanted He would consent to leave behind the old house
them all, parents, headmaster, analyst, and in a row for a new one in a suburb, but he
strangers-to make a fuss of him and single would not leave behind his Scottish accent, his
him out for special commendation. delight in crude humour or his pungent turn of
Though the infancy continuing in the present phrase. His own tyrannical father had been
was manifest from the outset, accounts of his 'as proud as a dog with two cocks' and so,
actual childhood emerged slowly. From time more secretly, was he. His defiance of his
to time he would fish for information from his own strict mother, of his wife and of the world
mother. She told him that he was conceived was epitomized in another of his phrases-
before they were ready for a child, in wartime, 'shouting shit up a short entry'. Womankind
when they were very hard up; that he was and genitality were defied with mouth and anus,
breast-fed for eleven months and then weaned and all his spare energy was devoted to his
abruptly with bitter aloes. From that time on garden.
he rejected milk. He was said to have been a During his childhood the patient had some-
lazy feeder. Vague and frightening memories times turned to his father, in transient efforts
clustered round his circumcision at two and a to appease and seduce him at his own anal
half, advised on account of some difficulty in level. Thus, he recalled sharing a bed with
passing urine. As the first grandchild on either father and maternal grandfather together, at
side of the family, he received much attention, age six or seven, amusing them both with com-
and teasing, from grandparents, uncles, and petitive farts, and being told, ' Give us a whistle,
aunts. In confirmation of his memories his kid! ' when they reached for the chamber-pot.
mother admitted having controlled him with They laughed and joked, but his was precarious
threats-threats to go away and leave him, laughter. For their tolerance was felt to stop
threats not to love him any more, threats to short of genital matters. Though his father
have another little boy who would be better than took pride in never having' put the fear of God
he was. He remembered scenes of this sort. into him', the patient was afraid of his big
They would end in panic, capitulation, and hands and big penis and wilted under mockery
tears, leading to a superficial reconciliation, and castration threats against his own little
but always with a residual undercurrent of , winkie '. His fears of castration were acute.
hostility on both sides. Such were the parents whom he introjected
The story she told him of her own childhood and unconsciously brought to analysis. Another
was an unhappy one, marred by harsh and important person was Aunt Bella, his mother's
troubled relationships with both her parents next younger (and prettier) sister. She lived
and considerable hostility towards the younger next door with her parents, until the patient
siblings whom she had to look after. Very was nine, and then came to live with his family.
bitterly she remembered being thrashed for He remembered her as a teasing young woman
dropping the baby-her only brother. Her who exploited her young men. In his earliest
courtship by the patient's father proceeded years the patient had slept between his parents.
under the restrictive and threatening vigilance Then for some years he slept alone. Now, by
of two rigidly respectable working-class fami- mutual consent, he shared a bed with his aunt,
lies. She married to get away from home and until he was twelve. He liked her to touch and
was doubtful about wanting children. Her stroke him but was often rude to her when
marriage became a struggle for dominance visitors came. On one occasion he had an
which she finally won. In middle age she was emission while the whole family was sitting
volubly domineering, efficient and meticulous, round the fire and Aunt Bella was casually
prudish and house-proud. Neither husband stroking his bare knees.
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304 DUGMORE HUNTER

It was her blue mackintosh which became Having found his mother's love expensive to
his first fixed fetishistic object. He was then obtain, he developed techniques for doing with-
thirteen. Having to deny the erotic attraction out it. He conformed and he exploited. As the
she exerted, he took her mackintosh as a sub- analysis got under way that conformity began
stitute. After what might be described as a to break down. He reported an incident in
period of courtship, he learned to masturbate which he had suddenly challenged her. She had
with it. But macs had attracted him long replied: • Now don't start being rude to me,
before this. He remembered as a small child because I won't stand it: it may be all right with
being reproved by his mother for burying his your father, because he's a bully by nature, but
face in a visitor's mackintosh. Later on he if you try it on me you'll soon regret losing the
enjoyed having one put over his head in games best friend you ever had.' He thought, • This
with other children. Now, in adolescence, he is what you've always done to me, but it doesn't
began by burying his face in his aunt's. Some- work any more.' Resentment of the power
times he used to lick it, but that was unpleasant which he felt women, and especially his mother,
as it did not taste nice. The problem was how sought to exercise over him, filled session after
to show his feelings for it, how to express his session. His relationship with his mother was
worship. Smell was important, and so was permeated by a feeling of injury which he
touch; he liked the cool smoothness of its termed • the Grudge'.
rubber lining. Sometimes he would stand As the analysis went on, he tried to give up
naked inside it or lie naked with it over his both his passive attitudes and his fetishism.
body and head. A special excitement was This brought him face to face with his terror of
added if he could obtain a feeling of suffoca- real women, whom he regarded as predatory
tion. Later, other women's mackintoshes and persecuting, and of their genitals, and of
would do, if they came to hand easily, but the babies which they might conceive, which
there was always a prohibition on his mother's. would rob him of their affection, which he still
When none was available he would masturbate needed desperately and exclusively like a very
with the memory of one seen during the day, young child. At this stage the only satisfactory
and the fantasy, • She's got me! I've got to intercourse he could imagine for himself would
yield.' To attract him, the outside must be be with the corpse of a woman he himself had
smooth and shiny, self-coloured rather than murdered. That would be his revenge-his
patterned, a'nd free from blemishes of any triumph in place of theirs. He imagined it with
kind. his mother. She would be dead, like a mackin-
At different times, associations to mackintosh tosh, and so could not laugh at him or abandon
material led him back to the anaesthetic mask him; the act would give her no pleasure (that
on the occasion of his circumcision; to his was essential); he would use his penis like a
aunt's rubber apron; to his mother's sweaty sword to gouge her inside out; above all there
smell, and the suffocating impact of the breast would be no baby to rival and displace him. He
itself. This was one unconscious meaning of hated babies and often imagined destroying
the word' overwhelming', which he frequently them. He would rage and shout as he spoke of
applied to his mother. The mackintosh offered these things and sometimes it seemed that only
links with infantile ecstasy and with olfactory a fit would discharge the emotion he was trying
incorporation of the mother: • The smell of a to express.
mac is so good it goes right down inside me, From time to time the patient was appalled
into my entrails.' at the extent and intensity of his hostility now
Sometimes what he did to the mackintosh was made manifest. Meanwhile, he tried to preserve
felt to defile it, and the garment could be seen to me from involvement in his attacks, making me
afford a protection to the real object. But the the repository of the good qualities denied in his
most prominent and persistent theme was con- mother and strongly resisting every interpreta-
tained in the following statement: • The differ- tion of the hidden negative elements of the
ence between a mackintosh and a woman is this transference. There was, however, much testing
-the mac has no power over me and can't hit out of my capacity to tolerate his badness. He
back. Being inanimate, it can't withdraw its did not intend to change because, • Unless
affection. . . . It can't do anything to you, people are prepared to love me as I am, their
can't hit you or scold you or control you; in- love's not worth having, and they can go to hell
stead it can be controlled.' for all I care.'
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ANALYSIS OF A FETISHIST 305

After two years of analysis the patient met a becoming excited, and say, as he lay on his back,
girl who proved, for reasons of her own, ready • I know what little boys like!' It became clear
to love him as he was, even when he told her of that this imaginary, phallic woman, who usually
his sexual difficulties. He found her sensitive appeared in a mackintosh, represented Aunt
and tolerant, • a quiet girl with beautiful eyes Bella, and ultimately the apron-clad mother of
and a soft voice'. Hilda seemed to him the his infancy attending to his toilet, amongst a
opposite of his mother. She profited from his mixture of interesting smells. In the background
emerging guilt, becoming at times the good there was felt to be a father, who would not
mother and at times the unborn sister, to whom grudge him these infantile pleasures so long as
reparation could be made. But he got more he did not grow up.
satisfaction from being loved than from loving. It was some such safe retreat into infancy that
His love was infantile in character, and through- he now increasingly sought in the analysis,
out their twelve months' courtship he still expe- which he wanted to go on for ever. I was to be
rienced, intermittently, upsurgings of irrational this phallic mother who would caress, excite,
hostility and hate. In mutual masturbation and protect him. Alternatively, I was to be a
he was afraid of her genital, afraid of his semen seducing male, with whom he could find refuge
coming near her. The changes wrought in her in homosexuality. But these and other defences
by sexual excitement repelled him; he could not proved untenable. They could not save him
bear her to become' just like a wild thing'. from rapidly mounting persecutory anxiety.
Throughout the third year of analysis much There followed a chaotic period of about three
work was done on these and other related months, during which he fled from one position
anxieties. In more ways than one, Hilda re- to another with great rapidity. It was difficult
placed the mackintosh, though macs remained for me, with very limited skills, to follow and
attraetive to him when she was absent. But his deal with the material quickly enough.
marriage, at the end of this time, was still pre- His fears of intercourse emerged in great pro-
mature and neurotic in character. I could not fusion and at all levels. In genital terms: no
but feel profoundly uneasy about it. To the drop of fluid from his penis must go anywhere
patient, as to his parents before him, marriage near Hilda-it would produce a son who would
was partly an escape. The wedding ceremony inevitably destroy him. In phallic terms; he
would represent, as he said, • a formal and legal was afraid of his penis touching a baby inside
break from my mother.' When they married and of what it might do to the baby. In anal
on lst April, he proved impotent. The' April terms: Hilda's inside was a horrible place-s-a
fools ' included the patient, his wife, his parents mass of shit (a projection of his own' rotten-
and his analyst. ness' and a product of his own attacks). In
During the honeymoon, in desperation and oral terms: the vagina was a hungry mouth
misery, he bought a mackintosh for his wife, but with teeth and would bite his penis off (a pro-
even that made no difference: • She had the jection of his own biting impulses). But the
effect of neutralizing it, just like my mother.' more he avoided intercourse the more did his
Everything was disappointing. 'Hilda un- wife become identified with the feared, attacked
dressing was just Aunt Bella undressing; getting genital-mother. He tried to use me, as father,
into bed with her was just creeping into bed to control her, in a revived infantile masturba-
with Mum.' The only thing that helped was tion fantasy. He said, •I wish you'd come home
when they fought a little, 'like boys'. Then with me and fuck her, put your penis right
he was able to penetrate the hymen; but he through her and skewer her once and for all.'
feared to penetrate deeply and wanted to get out I said this was what he had wanted his father to
as soon as possible. Whether he refrained from do to his mother-then there would be no more
these attempts or persisted, she became, on one babies and no more dangerous, threatening
level,more and more identified with the threaten- genital: it was for this, amongst other things,
ing aspects of his mother. On another, he that he felt himself punished by his circumcision.
resented the very opposite of this-her depend- When this control failed, he resorted to a more
ence and unphallic femininity. primitive one-an infantile outburst of scream-
In his imagination, what he wanted at this ing. His early inhibition of biting was now
time (on his return from his honeymoon) was swept aside, and the impulse to strangle his wife
not the warm Hilda, but a cool, aloof woman, was at times more than a fantasy.
who would stimulate him without herself Meanwhile he was talking of separation or
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306 DUGMORE HUNTER

divorce and attacking me for not preventing the In the autumn his fears were intensified by
marriage, not giving him potency, and not being two events. A friend became neurotically ill,
myself the ideal breast-mother. His attacks and the impulse .to tell him of the clinic was
were similarly varied, but predominantly biting checked by a fear that this man would come to
and castrating. • You're only a bloody student me and so displace him. Secondly, inspectors of
anyway!' Then in a moment he would feel education were to visit his school and he felt a
guilty and afraid. He complained of feeling desperate need to win their total commendation:
that there was a vulture inside him, tearing , I've got to be the best, the admired one: any-
everything to bits. I said this was the return of thing else is intolerable.' He hated the people
his own vulture impulses: the attacked mother in the newspapers and even the authors studied
and analyst were now in him. by his pupils, because they got so much atten-
After a dream of eating, he wanted to eat his tion: • Who's bloody Shakespeare, anyway?'
wife's vulva, eat his way in and devour the His greed and envy were projected: everyone
imagined baby. That would be the best way of was out to rob him and triumph over him. The
getting rid of it-i-chewing it up and converting split and projection were uncovered. After a
it into shit. That was what he had wanted to particularly intense persecutory outburst, I said
do to his mother, he supposed-to eat his way that he was evading guilt and despair by putting
into her-to eat off the good parts, the breasts, into other people all his own hostile and robbing
and get rid of the rest of her, the horrible part impulses, making himself the victim, and then
which went off and mucked about with his using that situation to justify still further
father. It had always seemed incongruous that demands on everybody, and especially on me.
anyone as horrible as his mother should have All this was to fend off the fear of feeling utterly
anything so attractive as breasts. (It would be unlovable. It was because he felt so bad that the
difficult to imagine a more complete split be- idea of any new patient coming to the clinic
tween the breast-mother and the genital-mother.) carried with it the certainty of total deprivation.
He controlled these impulses by eating This was the desperate fear aroused long ago by
enormously. 'When I get annoyed with the the thought of his mother's unborn babies.
kids at school, the only thing that brings relief is He came to the next session wanting to vomit.
a good meal-eating them I suppose-perhaps I interpreted his wish to get rid of his hate and
that's why I'm E vegetarian.' I tried to show him of' the Grudge '. He made further attempts to
how all these bitten-up and eaten people had justify it-people were hostile and excluded
become the source of all the tormenting feelings him: that was what made analysis so satisfac-
inside-the mass of shit and the dead rats, which tory-analysis excluded all the others. I inter-
he referred to. He said, ' That's why I so hate preted his wish to repeat endlessly with me the
to be constipated.' almost exclusive relation he had once had with
In the same session he spoke of his semen: his mother; his unwillingness ever to relinquish
'Sixteen million sperms per cubic centimetre, analysis contained all his reluctance to share her.
and everyone malevolent.' No matter what He said, ' The trouble is I've nothing to share,
precautions he took, one would get through to nothing to give except badness. I have to admit
make his life a hell. Here was the quintessence I went home quite humbled last night.' I said
of persecution. His sperms contained his this was a tremendous admission. He said he
impulses. He contained them and they threat- could admit things to himself at times, but not
ened him. As Mrs. Klein would say, his sadistic to me. I said this was because he unconsciously
and cannibalistic desires were expressed by his thought of me as hostile, and again interpreted
parts and by his products. the projection. He said, ' Damn you for making
Clearly, there was here too a belief in a fabu- me feel sad! It's so much easier to feel angry.'
lous potency, enormously destructive. His I said that was always his solution, to replace
impotence was, in part at least, self-disarming, sadness by anger. He said, ' It's the only one I
for the protection of his objects. This was con- know, and it's safe.' I pointed out his denial of
firmed by his thoughts of self-emasculation, the cost: anger was wholly destructive; with
which he believed would make him gentle and sadness there was some possibility of putting
give him a smooth skin: 'The bristling part.of things righc,
a man is the fierce, aggressive part '. Further This session seemed to be a turning point in
confirmation came when this line of interpreta- the analysis. Soon he had new thoughts about
tion eventually proved effective. having a son. Part of him would like to, and
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ANALYSIS OF A FETISHIST 307

sometimes he could believe it would be safe to supervise him; or he might cultivate some
do so. He became able to let people hold oppos- hobby-' People are worthless but things can't
ing views without feeling threatened and hostile; let you down.' He recognized that this was the
he could allow them to be themselves. He felt fetish reaction over again. He thought I had
more comfortable in not feeling full of hate. I been careful to wait till he had lost his interest
said the comfort came partly from relief at not in mackintoshes, but he could revive it.
having to fear and guard against retaliation; Depression emerged spontaneously now. A
being no longer afraid he felt less need to control. moth on a coat was himself eating me. He
He said, 'Simply not to hurt anyone seems the feared that he was making Hilda old: either his
important thing just now: not to hurt you or semen had poisoned her or he had not given her
Hilda.' His relationship with her began to enough. The dilemma between starving and
soften. 'I used to make infinite demands on poisoning was related back to the analysis. He
people, to see how much I could get out of them; began to look forward to a perfect intercourse
but when I know they like me it ceases to be with his wife in which they would have simul-
fun.' I related this to his demands on me and taneous orgasms and deliberately conceive a
to the end of the analysis: it meant that he could baby. Then it could be good. Intercourse did
begin to think of it as a completion and not as a indeed become physically more successful about
rejection. He said, 'I've come over, I'm on a year after their marriage, but there was guilt
your side; but I don't feel happy about it, just about hostile fantasies, in which he thought of
empty. I want to go away and weep.' I asked himself as a torturing machine. Orgasm was
why he could not weep here. He answered, meant to be the death of Hilda and he felt
, Fear you would laugh, I suppose.' I said that almost humiliated when she liked it, but he also
he still saw me as a potentially hostile, mocking felt relieved.
person. The retreat to persecution could take There was an oscillation between splitting and
place in a second. unifying his objects. Fantasies of promiscuity
This was but the beginning of a long to-and- emerged for the first time and were symbolized
fro struggle on this theme, which dominated the in blushing whenever another woman's name
remaining 2tyears of the analysis. He slipped was mentioned in the presence of his wife.
back many times and presented many difficulties, Tormenting Hilda in this way meant punishing
but he never again became so severely ill as he his mother for going off with father. He was
had been in the months which followed his aware of rapidly alternating attitudes: one
marriage. minute he would want to copulate with the
One night, after moving into a new flat, he woman and kill her; the next he would want to
found himself singing to his wife in bed. After be the little boy, "getting something from the
many songs he came to a lullaby which he woman on the side' (i.e. from the breast) while
suddenly recognized as one sung to him as a she got what she wanted from some more power-
child by his father. He wept profusely and ful man.
could feel that his father had loved him and The most difficult feature of the last" two years
that he had loved his father. These were adult of the analysis was an attempt by the patient to
tears and meant a coming to life of feeling for organize a permanent status quo, centred on
another person, with mourning for loss and the analysis, which he tried to turn into a sym-
grief for injury done. At the same time he had bolic gratification of all his infantile needs and
become able to identify with the father and love wishes. He thought, ' I could lie here for ever'.
the baby, whom his wife for the moment repre- I said he was announcing his intention to keep
sented. and control me for ever and not let the analysis
}. This led to the theme of depriving his parents affect him. He said that to modify his behaviour
of children and me of other patients and other in the slightest degree meant giving way to his
patients of me. The proposal to reduce from mother; yet behind all his hatred of women
five sessions to four aroused deep resentment, there was a wish to love them very much. I
and for the first time the idea that the analysis interpreted the violent greed of that love, and its
might end became real to the patient. The vicissitudes, in detail, and the intensity of his
analyst became more directly the depriving need to control and dominate those he loved,
mother: 'You've become bad-this is bitter absolutely. He said, 'I suppose my mother's
aloes.' He sought for substitute satisfactions: love for me was like that.' The analytic
he might take a Ph.D. and have a professor to relationship at this time showed many of the
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308 DUGMORE HUNTER

features described so sensitively by Mrs. Riviere able to have them, and then he would have to
in her paper, • On the Negative Therapeutic find new reasons for hating them. I said that
Reaction'. Thus, progress would be concealed, • wanting' here meant wanting exclusively, at
as when he casually mentioned eating meat once, all the time, without limit; and sooner
weeks after the change had taken place. Suc- than give up anyone he wanted he would
cessful intercourse was concealed, or even destroy them. He confirmed this, saying that
avoided, lest I should send him away as cured or he could not go to a certain social function
as too dangerous a rival. What he most feared because the people there might be nicer than he
was the destructive and devouring quality of his expected; their niceness would disarm him and
love. Analysis must be resisted lest it lead him then he would want them, especially if they
to rape and murder. It was safer to remain a became interested in him. Perhaps my wife and
child. I would be there. He heard a plane outside and
When I was going on holiday, early in the imagined it dropping a bomb on him. I inter-
fifth year, he killed me off in his thoughts and preted his fear of attracting my wife to become
then complained of feeling empty. I said that exclusively interested in him, and incurring a
this was the penalty of all this killing off: he was terrible bombing revenge from me; that was
left with nothing good inside. He said, • That's what he had wanted of his mother and feared
why I'm never able to go back to old places and from his father; hence the defence of hating
old people-they're too much like ghosts.' All (not wanting) his mother; hence also the flight
his objects were dead, and the task of restoring to the mackintosh and the denial of genitality in
them would be beyond his powers. The educa- trying to remain a little boy. Soon after this he
tion inspectors reported that his contribution was able to appreciate the essential niceness of
was outstanding, but to the patient this was a an attractive girl, and like her, to realize that he
mockery: they did not know what was going could not have her, and feel sad about it. He
on inside. It was my • inspection' and his own was able to like and relinquish. The ability to
that mattered to him now. have a good and loving intercourse with his wife
By the end of the year he was able to was an immediate sequel.
have intercourse which was violent but loving One month later, he announced, • We're
and free from sadistic fantasies; for the first probably going to have a baby.' There was
time he could describe it as • really satisfying' pride and satisfaction in this, but the prospect
to both of them. He was able to discard con- reactivated old anxieties, especially the fear that
traception, really wanting a child. I am I would end the analysis. de tried to cancel out
baffled by the task of describing briefly how all improvement and spoke of staying in analysis
these changes took place. Obviously they for the rest of his life. But he had more insight
involved a re-evaluation of his wife, whose now. He said, • The trouble is my basic un-
sexuality became more acceptable, a re- willingness to give anybody anything; I don't
evaluation of his penis and semen and of his want to give you a got-better patient; really I'm
own capacity to give, a recognition that love just one big mouth.' I said he wanted me to
could be violent without being destructive, and love and feed him endlessly, in spite of every-
a reduction of his fear of rival babies. Hitherto, thing, in order to reassure him that he was not
breasts had been the only source of anything bad and that I did not turn to others because he
good, infinitely tantalizing and always with- was bad, and in order to relieve his emptiness
held from him. Only breasts were attrac- within.
tive, not vaginas; without breasts he had For a time Hilda became his mother to whom
nothing to give; his penis was not good, it was he had given a baby; father would come after
only a weapon of attack. Now his tremendous him and in • the battle of penises' he would not
envy of all feminine parts and reproductive stand a chance; father's would slash his off right
function became fully conscious. But not less away; father would kill him with his penis,
important than the work specific to these like a burglar pinned to the wall. To forestall
themes was the continued work on his paranoid this he wanted to get my penis which would be
defence. It was this that enabled him, I think, even stronger. His derogatory attacks upon
to make a beginning of loving. The patient felt, women had been in part designed to this end-
and said, that change would involve intolerable to turn me away from women, so that I would
risks-risks of liking people instead of hating give him the wonderful penis.
them. Then he would want them and not be He feared that at Easter I would tell him not
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ANALYSIS OF A FETISHIST
to come any more: I must be thinking 'It's not cause from the very start analysis was for you a
safe to cure him completely-he would be too struggle over who should change, a defence of
dangerous.' Part of him was equating cure prepared positions and a determination not
with freedom from all restraint. His appetite to feel in the wrong'. His grumbling was also
for sexual intercourse might become insatiable. described as filling me with slow poison, i.e.
Then he thought of an attractive woman in a getting rid of his hate by putting it into me-
mac, tall and sleek and dominating: it was as returning the bitter aloes. Later it became
if she not only had a penis but was a penis- clear that not coming to me with complaints
so powerful and erect. Women were so cock- would also mean dropping the role of inadequacy
sure because they had the men's cocks safe with which he protected himself from others'
inside them and were certain of being able to aggressionand them from his.
overcome his. It was as if both his parents In March I proposed that the analysis should
were bearing down on him and saying, ' It's got be reduced to three sessionsin April and end in
to come off.' But part of him welcomed December. His first response was, 'Then I
castration as something exquisitely exciting- shall never be the wonderful fellowI hoped you
being subdued. He felt that having his penis would make me!' I pointed out the expectation
played with was a form of castration; so was of a magical transformation. This and the
playing with a mac and getting under it; a wish to keep the analysis going indefinitely had
woman's mac was like a penis which came into been great obstacles to progress. Then he
him by way of its smell. Among other inter- wondered whether he would go away feeling
pretations on this material, I said that passivity warmly towards me or hating me. There was a
was the price of safety: he saw me as ruthless great wish not to hate me, even if that meant
because he felt ruthless in his intense wish to changing his attitudes to everyone. He felt I
overpower and castrate the dominating father, was sending him away as a failure, but added
headmaster, analyst. He confirmed this, saying that perhaps that was what he had wanted to
that he wanted to be the 'big shot', the one with be: it was one way of proving himself stronger.
the all-powerful penis. He had a sudden hostile thought 'I'll show
More material emerged now about the posi- him " but recognized at once that that would
tive and protective side of his retreat from not really be change. I said he was recognizing
potency, which had hitherto meant being ruth- that precarious achievement based on hate
less, not caring, riding roughshod over every- was not satisfying. He observed that till
body. At the same time, the patient began to Christmas was about nine months-time for a
talk spontaneously about the end of the analysis. new self to be born. In a way he felt freer,
He wanted to spend his money on other things. now that he knew the analysis was going to end.
But if he made the slightest move to end it he I said perhaps he felt that so long as I appeared
would fear pursuit by a hostile and jealous to let him be a baby I was also tempting him
analyst-mother. That was why he tended to to be one. He said, • I often felt my mother
keep his relation to Hilda bad except during the didn't really want me to grow up.' At the end
holidays-to fend off jealousy from me. When of the session he was near to tears: tears of
this had been worked through he spoke of a sorrow for parting, with recognition of having
wish to get better before the child came: he received a lot.
could not have a baby and be a baby. He felt In succeeding sessions, the patient sought to
that an end was possible now because the grapple with the pain of sadness and with the
analysis need not end in hate. task of reparation. He said, • There's no
He commented on his • grizzly' behaviour alternative to hating except to be sorry, and
here in the analysis, day after day. Then he that's very disturbing.' He felt sorry for having
mentioned some changes in himself and added, mentally chewed me up all the time and wanted
'But you don't change.' I interpreted the to restore me. Later came the fear that I
meaning of his 'grizzly' behaviour-to force had chewed him up every time he chewed up
me to change, to abandon everyone else and me; that his parents had done so whenever
come over exclusively to him. He responded, they nagged him.; that he had forced us to do
• Yes, to get you on my side against the rest of this by his attacks, and that it would be useless
the world.' I said, 'Thereby justifying all his trying to put us together unless we all put
your attitudes.' After a pause he said, • I am him together too, inside us. This was a com-
getting better but I do resent it.' I said, • Be- plex and over-determined thought. I took it
W
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310 DUGMORE HUNTER

as a recognition that in destroying his objects nasty.' He had allowed his hate to cancel all
he had destroyed himself. It was also a cry the good they did. But hating no longer
for help. He felt' rotten' inside and could not staved off depression: he was mildly depressed
offer this rottenness to anyone. Hitherto he all the time.
had kept his damaged internal objects at bay He became able to sustain and tolerate his
by projecting. Now that he could do so no sadness and at the same time became more
longer he became hypochondriacal: his varicose aware of me as a person. He discovered, with
veins were a punishment for all the bad he had surprise, that sadness was incompatible with
done-a product of 'bad blood' between embarrassment: that since he became sad
himself and others. all his embarrassments had disappeared. I
He saw that he had never allowed his parents said this was because sadness was the negation
to belong to each other and that they had of the hostility which his embarrassment con-
undoubtedly been happier since he left them. tained. Slowly emerging from his paranoid
There came the terrible realization that people world, he realized that feeling sorry towards
had not existed for him except when he wanted people relieved him of any need to fear them,
them; he had never allowed them any indepen- and that his wife, whom he had first idealized
dent lives, had abolished them as soon as they and then made into a bad mother, was, on the
ceased to be of immediate use to him; he had whole, quite a lovable person. He acquired a
never taken pleasure in their living. That meant garden and was amazed that things grew in it:
he had never really loved anyone. • I feel I don't deserve it-all these peas and
The patient feared that if he allowed his things being as it were given to me, just as in
sadness to come out it would be so overwhelm- the analysis, while I can't give, or at least not
ing as to be quite unbearable; if he allowed enough.' But intercourse with his wife was
himself to think that people were nice he would reported to be the best ever.
be overcome with remorse. I pointed out that He found a new pleasure in singing, especially
he was still keeping these feelings at a distance at school. It aroused friendly feelings and
-it was all hypothetical. He acknowledged reminded him of his father singing while his
a terror of depression. I said that this was mother played the piano. His analyst was
what he had been avoiding for the past five allowed to have a good and helpful wife;
years, but the cost was paid in hate and the good and helpful parents were allowed to be
fear of retaliation, in frustrated inertia, and in together. In consequence of this, he was able
physical symptoms, the products of internal to have the feeling, for the first time, that here
attacks. in the analysis we were really working together.
He came the next day with a carbuncle and He felt and expressed genuine grief for his
hay fever. He saw in the carbuncle the bad- objects. At the end of the summer term he said
ness he was trying to get rid of and in the hay he could now see that pain was something to be
fever the tears he could not shed. He thought accepted. Deaths and partings were inevitable,
of a sea of blood-as if his tears would have to but there would always be people. There was
equal all the blood shed in his thoughts before here an indication of a new willingness to
he could recover. Then he wanted to be for- accept substitutes. Moreover, he now wanted
given by me for his open and secret attacks. to get from me certain qualities which he felt I
But he could not quite feel the same towards had, without destroying me. That meant being
his mother. I said that he was tied to his equal instead of being hostile.
mother not only by his love but also by During the summer holiday his son was
his hate, which necessitated endless placation; born. His feelings toward the child were
it was the same with the analysis-he had to go predominantly tolerant and protective. He
on seeing me to make sure I was not offended liked to watch him feeding at the breast and
or injured and therefore dangerous-to make felt that he could now relinquish his own de-
sure I was not plotting revenge against him. mand for the breast and for analysis. In a
The patient acknowledged himself shaken by slip of the tongue he referred to • sweet aloes '.
the recognition of how fantastic this was, and I interpreted the relief he felt in being weaned
by the feeling that he was much worse than he by me. He could let his tears come now
had ever realized. • I've kidded myself I was because I was no longer an enemy. He said,
a decent chap, but really I've spent my life • I used to hate your guts: I hope your guts
taking quite nice people and making them are all right.'
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ANALYSIS OF A FETISHIST 311

Meanwhile, the mackintosh had not been stealing his father's penis, or later his analyst's.
forgotten. A great deal of work had been The erect penis had to be placed outside be-
done on its relations to the penis and breast, to cause it was stolen.
the female genital and to his lost foreskin; In this weaning phase of the analysis the
but that is too complex to quote here. The patient took on various new activities and
function of mackintoshes in his sex life was now found a new capacity to cope with work and
a vestigial one only: most of the time he would people. His relations with his headmaster,
no longer notice them, but in situations of colleagues, and pupils became easier and more
marked deprivation he would get a transient human: he could even make the children
satisfaction from looking at them, passing in laugh while the Head was in the room. In
the street, undisturbed by guilt or by any teaching he could give more freely, and was
impulse to follow them. surprised at the children's capacity to digest
One day in October he told me of a dream in what he gave them. Though he spoke of looking
which he was having an erection but his penis for a better job, he added that he would not be
was held down by his own pubic hairs. In ready for that until he had contributed all he
the waiting-room he noticed a 'cocky' young could to this one. Colleagues had long been
man and thought, 'I've really come here to urging him to apply for headships, and now at
find my penis; perhaps others come to lose a last he could begin to think of doing so without
bit.' On the way he had seen a woman in a feeling apologetic about it. I said he was
mackintosh which from a distance looked par- telling me he could move towards equality
ticularly smooth and shiny, but when she drew without feeling threatened-a reflection of his
nearer he saw lines in it. It was as if it repre- changing attitude to me. He said, 'I want
sented a penis and instead of being very erect to try myself out and see how far I can go.' All
it was flaccid. He felt himself deflated. I this seemed to me to represent a genuine achieve-
commented on his secret admiration of the ment of potency. He could now feel secure
erect penis as something seldom admitted to in in the use of his penis. It was no longer stolen.
the analysis. He confirmed that he secretly The closing sessions centred upon what
admired his own, but thought of it as something Freud has described as one of the strongest
not really part of him, semi-independent, over transference resistances, namely, the patient's
which he had only a limited control-an reluctance to feel indebted to his analyst. But
aggressive ruthless thing-there was no know- in this case the principal conflict echoed was
what it might not do if given the chance- the conflict with the mother. With her, defi-
going around fucking women and knocking ance was the only independence he had known.
people about generally. There was a part of He had been trying all his life to prove that she
himself which would still prefer to look at had not' made a good job of him', and to
macs. I interpreted the projection of his own have her 'taking credit' for his male achieve-
erect penis into the tall erect woman in the ments would re-establish her control. Now he
smooth and shining mac and the defence it was reluctant to give me, as he said, a feather
served-not merely against the threat of having in my cap. He reverted to his grumbling and
it cut off but also against fear of the damage it for some days made me uneasy about the
might do: he wanted to protect the people he outcome.
loved from these forces in himself which he The final change came with the discovery
felt to be so enormously potent and destructive. that I was prepared to accept failure in the
Further material led to the interpretation that analysis, if need be, and not become hostile.
he could not allow himself a better sexuality This disarmed him. In the last hour he said,
than he felt his parents had had, and hence , You are a human being and I've grown fond
could seldom allow himself any success which of you. I kept up my hostile attitude almost
would surpass his father's. He confirmed to the end, but now I feel I shan't any more.' He
this, saying that he took care to avoid finding felt sorry because it had been hard on me, and
out whether or not he earned more than his wondered if my next patient would be as
father. This was interpreted as a defence obdurate. He said, 'I never really thought
against overwhelming greed, which had wanted you could deal with me, except by making the
to rob his parents of everything they had. The analysis permanent.'
patient then recognized effectively for the first He could now accept and express the pain of
time that being potent had always meant parting. Hitherto he had feared, as in child-
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312 DUGMORE HUNTER

hood, that his sadness would not be accepted, father. In work, he said, he would now feel
that his sorrow would be used by me as an free to go all out for his goals. Competing no
occasion for triumph. Now he knew there longer meant hating, because failure would not
would be no triumph, because he himself had bring despair.
given up his wish to triumph over me. He I am keenly aware of the limitations of this
could make full acknowledgements, deeply analysis: almost every page of the notes reveals
felt, of what he had received from analysis. some failure of understanding or opportunity
The patient had relinquished his grudge. missed. Yet in the later sessions I think one
He said, • Now Lean feel tenderness, even these can hear the patient speaking with a different
aloof women become human; and if I can voice. The criteria for termination discussedin
sustain this tender feeling, what remains of the this Society by John Rickman and Melanie
mac will go.' At home he was manifestly Klein, among others, have not, perhaps, gone
accepting the responsibilities of husband and wholly unfulfilled.

BmLIOGRAPHY
(1) FREUD, SIGMUND. • Fetishism'. Int. J. (6) PAYNE, SYLVIA. • Some Observations of the
Psycho-Anal., 1928,9, pp. 161-166. Ego Development of the Fetishist'. Int. J. Psycho-
(2) FREUD, SIGMUND. • Analysis Terminable and Anal., 1939,20, pp. 161-170.
Interminable'. Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 1937, 18, pp. (7) RICKMAN, JOHN. • On the Criteria for Ter-
373-405. mination of an Analysis ', Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 1950,
(3) GILLESPIE, W. H. • A Contribution to the 31, pp. 200-201.
Study of Fetishism'. Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 1940, 21, (8) RIvIERB, JOAN. • On the Negative Thera-
pp.401-415. peutic Reaction ', Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 1936, 17,
(4) - - • Notes on the Analysis of Sexual Per- pp. 304-320.
versions'. Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 1952,33, pp. 397-402. (9) WULFF, M. • Fetishism and Object Choice in
(5) Ku!IN, MELANIE. • On the Criteria for Early Childhood '. Psychoanal, Quart., 1946, 15,
Termination of an Analysis '. Int. J. Psycho-Anal., pp. 450-471.
1950, 31, pp. 78-80 and p. 204.
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