Face your Fears

" The only thing we have to fear Fear is a universal emotion. For some our greatest fear may be spiders, blood

is fear itself." or enclosed spaces. As children we may have been frightened of the dark,
monsters or goblins and as we have grown we have become afraid of new
Franklin D Roosevelt
things, such as public speaking, changing our lives or appearing ridiculous.

" We can easily forgive a child In certain situations it is an entirely appropriate response to something

who is afraid of the dark; the threatening – if we are in the middle of a forest and faced with a growling

real tragedy of life is when men bear then naturally we will feel very afraid. This gets our blood pumping and
triggers us into survival mode so that we are better equipped to react and
are afraid of the light."
deal with the situation at hand. Fear is useful in that it teaches us caution
Plato
and can help to protect us from unnecessary harm or pain. Yet there are

" One of the greatest discoveries times when it stands in the way of experiences that help us to grow and be

a man makes, one of his more fulfilled. When fear becomes overwhelming it can be paralysing and
debilitating. It is the little voice inside our head telling us not to learn a new
great surprises, is to find he
skill or pitch our ideas as we might meet failure or disapproval. By allowing
can do what he was afraid he
our fear to control us we may miss out on opportunities to flourish and travel
couldn’t do."
a more rewarding and meaningful path.
Henry Ford
As we approach National Stress Awareness Week it is a good time to reflect
on what causes us fear and anxiety. This helpsheet will explore the role that
fear plays in our lives and highlight the times when fear can be unhelpful
and hold us back from achieving the things we yearn for. Fear itself is often
the barrier to doing what you want to do in life. If there is anything in this
helpsheet that you would like to discuss further please contact one of our
trained therapists on the Adviceline.

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Understanding Fear
When we experience fear or feel threatened a number of things Level 1: Exterior situations
happen physiologically. Adrenaline is released and directed to the These can be divided into Things that happen such as war,
skeletal muscles to prepare for possible action, such as running or epidemics such as the Ebola crisis or job loss; & Actions like taking
fighting. If this happens very quickly we can feel faint, go numb or an exam, chairing a meeting, climbing a mountain etc.
freeze. Breathing speeds up and heart rate increases. Your pupils
Level 2: Ego related
dilate. The fear response is almost entirely automatic. It is the same
These fears relate to how we perceive ourselves and may include
primitive response that we relied on when we were faced with wild
fear of rejection, fear of success, having a child, losing weight etc.
animals and natural dangers; today our fears are more likely to be
associated with walking down a dark alley, or preparing to meet
Level 3: I can’t handle it
an intimidating client, and yet the response is the same. Some
Susan Jeffers believed that this one key belief was at the root of all
frightening experiences such as car accidents, combat or personal
fears, that if they were realised you would not be able to cope. It was
tragedies can be very traumatic and overwhelm our ability to cope.
her contention that if you could develop your belief in your ability to
If these experiences are very profound, or we do not have sufficient
cope with whatever comes your way then you would be able to face
support to recover, we may continue to feel affected for some time.
your fears.
In these cases it can be helpful to seek professional help or advice.

As children we are repeatedly primed to be fearful. Parents

are often overheard telling their children to ‘be careful’ but
they are rarely ever heard telling children to ‘take a risk today’.
Understandably parents act on their innate desire to protect their
children, but the message that children often internalise is to
‘watch out because the world is a dangerous place’. As adults we
need greater awareness and a willingness to change if we wish to
overcome these deeply held beliefs. Writer of bestseller Feel the
Fear and Do it Anyway, Susan Jeffers, suggests there are 3 levels
of fear:

Making Fear Go Away

Many of us fall into the trap of the when/ then game: When I feel
better I will do it – learn to drive, apply for a new role, write that
novel or whatever your goal may be. Unfortunately this does not
work. Ignoring your fear and avoiding it can even make it worse as
it then gets mixed up with regret, poor self-esteem and low moods.
Throughout our lives we are repeatedly confronted with fear, and
this will continue for as long as we live.

The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out
and do it. This is well recognised in the world of stage performance
where a surprising number of actors have confessed to terrifying
stage fright; Bill Nighy, Steven Fry, Judi Dench, Barry Humphries
and many more. Laurence Olivier dubbed stage fright as ‘the
actor’s nightmare’. Actor John Simm explains, the remedy is ‘you
just have to throw yourself on stage, that’s the job.’ They deal
with the fear by facing it. Many argue that this anxiety and tension
enhances performance as it adds a certain adrenaline and energy.
Writer and Surfer, Laird Hamilton, describes how he uses the
experience of fear: ‘Forget your emotions around fear for a second
and look at the simple reality: It's an energy source designed to
increase performance.’

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Tips for Facing Fear
Small steps can lead to big changes – Starting by facing your Breathe – our breath can be a great source of calm. Before you do
biggest fear may be a little daunting. Remember that a journey of something you are scared of take a few deep breaths, feel it go deep
1,000 miles starts with a single step. With each new challenge you into your belly as your stomach rises and falls with each breath
face you grow and become more empowered. An early step could
Strike a power pose – by standing in a posture of confidence for as
be saying no to somebody, attempting a new recipe or planning
little as 2 minutes, even if we don’t feel confident, we can positively
your day differently so that you have more time for the things that
affect our hormones by increasing levels of testosterone and
matter to you.
lowering the stress hormone cortisol in the brain. These combine
Accept what you can and cannot control – Fear often increases to help us to feel more empowered. A simple power pose involves
when we feel that things are beyond our control. In most situations standing with both arms reaching towards the sky, so that you have
there are things that you can control and things that you cannot. a feeling of expansiveness. You may not be able to do this in the
Knowing the difference is helpful. For instance as we are faced with middle of an interview or a meeting but taking some moments to
the Ebola crisis most of us have limited control over how events do this as you prepare, even if you do this somewhere discreetly,
unfold and this can be unsettling. Although we may not have direct can make a difference. For more information you can watch social
influence over how things are handled on a global scale we can psychologist, Amy Cuddy’s inspiring and popular Ted Talk.
ensure that we access up to date advice and guidance on how to
Identify the people in your life who hold you back – we all have
protect ourselves and ensure that we do not take unnecessary
people in our lives who continue to tell us to ‘be careful’, to avoid
risks. We can make contributions by donating to organisations that
challenge or risk. It may be a partner who makes us feel we are
provide support.
not clever enough, or a friend who enjoys commiserating with you
about your miserable careers. Notice when they say things that
make you feel smaller and learn to filter these comments or spend
less time with them. Find the people who celebrate your positive
qualities and encourage you to reach your goals.

Pause – if you are feeling fearful take some time to think things
through. Ask yourself if you need to leave the situation in order to
protect yourself? Is it possible that unhelpful beliefs and thought
patterns are being triggered and, in fact, you are capable of meeting
the challenge that is frightening you.

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Further Resources

Feel the fear and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers

A Force of Nature: Mind, body, soul (and, of course, surfing) by Laird Hamilton

Ted Talk: Amy Cuddy – Your body language shapes who you are

Further help and information

CiC – Supporting Organisations
www.well-online.co.uk
24-hour Confidential Care Adviceline, providing emotional
and practical support.

(This helpsheet is intended for informational purposes only and does not represent
any form of clinical diagnosis. While every effort has been made to ensure that the
content is accurate, relevant and current, CiC accepts no liability for any errors or
omissions contained herein. The list of books is provided for interest only and CiC is
not responsible for their availability, accuracy, or content.)

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