1

"Advice to Women"

Eunice de Souza

Advice to Women

Keep cats
if you want to learn to cope with
the otherness of lovers.
Otherness is not always neglect -
Cats return to their litter trays
when they need to.
Don't cuss out of the window
at their enemies.
That stare of perpetual surprise
in those great green eyes
will teach you
to die alone.

"Advice to Women" by Eunice de Souza is a brief and thought-provoking poem that offers unconventional
advice on love and relationships. Here's a detailed explanation of each line:

1. "Keep cats"

• The speaker begins the poem by advising women to keep cats as pets. This seemingly simple
suggestion serves as a metaphor for learning to navigate the complexities of relationships.

2. "if you want to learn to cope with the otherness of lovers."

• The speaker suggests that having cats can help women understand and cope with the inherent
"otherness" or differences that exist within romantic relationships. Cats, with their independent
nature and unique behaviours, can serve as a metaphorical representation of the enigmatic aspects
of romantic partners.

3. "Otherness is not always neglect -"

• Here, the speaker clarifies that the concept of "otherness" should not be equated with neglect.
Instead, it refers to the inherent differences and individuality of romantic partners.

4. "Cats return to their litter trays / when they need to."

• The speaker highlights the self-sufficiency and independence of cats, suggesting that they instinctively
know how to take care of their own needs. This can be contrasted with the expectation of constant
attention or validation within human relationships.

5. "Don't cuss out of the window / at their enemies."

• The speaker advises against venting frustrations or anger towards the perceived enemies of the cats.
This line can be interpreted as a metaphor for refraining from unnecessary conflict or aggression in
relationships.

6. "That stare of perpetual surprise / in those great green eyes"

• The speaker describes the gaze of the cat, emphasizing its intense and enigmatic quality. This imagery
evokes a sense of mystery and introspection, suggesting that observing the behaviour of cats can lead
to profound insights about oneself and one's relationships.

7. "will teach you / to die alone."

• The poem concludes with a striking and somewhat ominous assertion. The speaker suggests that the
experience of observing the cat's stare will ultimately teach one to confront the inevitability of solitude
and mortality. This line underscores the theme of introspection and self-awareness that runs
throughout the poem.

Overall, "Advice to Women" offers a unique perspective on love and relationships, using the metaphor of cats
to explore themes of independence, self-discovery, and acceptance of the inherent complexities of human connection.

Critical Analysis

"Advice to Women" by Eunice de Souza is a brief yet powerful poem that offers a unique and unconventional
perspective on love, relationships, and the human condition.

The poem employs cats as a metaphor for understanding the complexities of romantic relationships. Cats, known for
their independent nature and aloof demeanour, symbolize the "otherness" or inherent differences that exist between
partners in a relationship. By advising women to keep cats, the speaker suggests that observing and understanding
the behaviour of these animals can provide valuable insights into navigating the enigmatic aspects of human love and
connection.

The concept of "otherness" is central to the poem's theme. The speaker acknowledges that this otherness is not
necessarily neglect, but rather the recognition of individuality and differences within a relationship. Through the lens
of cats, the poem encourages women to embrace and accept the unique qualities of their partners, rather than
attempting to change or control them.

The poem celebrates the independence and self-sufficiency of cats, contrasting it with the expectations often placed
on individuals within romantic relationships. Cats are depicted as creatures who instinctively know how to take care
of their own needs, returning to their litter trays when necessary. This imagery highlights the importance of self-
reliance and autonomy within relationships, suggesting that both partners should be able to maintain their
independence while still supporting each other.

The poem's conclusion, "will teach you / to die alone," offers a thought-provoking reflection on the human experience
of solitude and mortality. By contemplating the intense gaze of the cat, the speaker suggests that observing the
mysteries of life and love can ultimately lead to a deeper understanding of one's own mortality and the inevitability
of facing death alone. This line serves as a stark reminder of the existential truths that underpin the human condition.

Throughout the poem, there is a subtle undercurrent of satire and wit. The speaker's advice to women is delivered
with a tone that is both humorous and incisive, challenging traditional notions of love and relationships. By using cats
as a metaphor, the poem subverts conventional wisdom and offers a fresh perspective on the complexities of human
connection.

In conclusion, "Advice to Women" is a thought-provoking poem that encourages readers to reconsider their
preconceptions about love and relationships. Through its use of metaphor, imagery, and tone, the poem offers a
nuanced exploration of the nuances of human connection, independence, and mortality.