Introduction to Laughter. Aphorisms . . Barroom Jokes . . Bloopers... 0... cece ccc e eee e ence e eee e ene eees 15 Blunders... 0.000 sscse cece cece ene eee etn eee e eee ee College Jokes... . . Computer Jokes Daflynitions. 00.0... 0. 0c cece eeeeeee tent ee ee ee eee Funny Advertisements ........0 0.000 ceeeeeeeeeeeeeeed Funny Announcements . Funny Epigrams. Funny Epitaphs . . . Funny Limericks... 0.0.0 .0cceccceeceeeeeveeeeeeuees Funny Proverbs ........ 000 cseseseeseccee see eeeceees 75 Funny Quotations .....6 0.0000 c cece cece ee eee eed 81 Funny Repartees 00.02... Funny Short Stories Funny Universal Laws... . Gender Jokes... 2.0.0... e cece cece cee e eae 111 Old Age Jokes... ee. ccc c cece cc eeccveueevevaeeeees 127 133 141 . 147 School Jokes .... Tongue Twisters“Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” ~ Paul E McGhee Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. N othing wars faster or better than a good laugh in achieving a balanced mind ana bo yy Laughter lightens our burdens, inspires hopes, connects one to off re iw keeps us grounded, focused, and alert. In addition to the domino - joy and amusement, laughter triggers healthy physical changes i 7 ody Laughter can strengthen immune system, boost energy, diminish pain, Protect the body from the damaging effects of stress.Benefits of Laughter Physical benefits Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving the muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes. It decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection- fighting antibodies, resulting in an improvement in the body's resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins Promote an overall sense of well- being and can even relieve the pain temporarily. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which help in Preventing heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. Mental/emotional benefits Laughter makes one feel good, and the good feeling that one gets while laughing remaing even after it subsides. It helps one to keep * Positive, optimistic eutlook in tuations. More than € from sadness and ler gives the th to find new courage W sources of meaning and hope, Laughter dissolves distressing emotions, reduces stress and increases energy enabling one to stay focused and accomplish more. Social benefits Laughter and playful communication can strengthen relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds. Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting Laughter is a powerful and effective tool to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts With so. much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently can surmount problems, enhance relationships, and support both physical and emotional health.| 4. SAV [ carrots are so good for the eyes, why do I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? Google may be the most powerful search engine, but it can’t search the slippers lost at the temple. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Warning: Dates in calendar are Closer than they appear. HE DOLPHINS > What did the cows do wrong? No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening, What's another word for thesaurus? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a planeAphorisms a crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Tam a nobody, nobody is perfect. Therefore, | am perfect. My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one’s the real hero? Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is, When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians be denoted . If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long Period of time. To youl'man atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition, Being a hero is the short-lived profession on earth Ifyou think education is expensive, try ignorance. A bus stason is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. What more can I say? ‘The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So, why learn? Every person is a freedom fighter immediately after marriage! Why drink and drive when you cai smoke and fly? This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. T didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian, Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its student. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Success is a relative term, It brings 50 many relati Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects, People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women like to be a man's last romance.The wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise Jwwas born intelligent, education ruined me. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police, Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. Both should. be changed regularly, and for the same reason. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Isaw a bank advertisement "24- Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom Sets to speak. I Tagreed with you, we'd both be wrong. Where did you get those big, yes? They came with the face. It was love at first sight. Then | took asecond look! Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you; it’s only when you don’t try for her sister. 1am thinking of becoming a doctor. Ihave the handwriting for it. My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe. I have no objections, Tlet her talk. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism. Stealing from many is research. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then why are others here for? Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and laxative on the same night. I didn't say it was your fault, I said 1 was blaming you. Every man/woman should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. Never put off the work until tomorrow, what you can put off today! Aphorisms |Aphorisms | ox My friend hos @ fine watch dog. AY any | suspicious naive, he wakes Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep! There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. Hard work Pays off in the future, Laziness pays off now, Hard work never killed anybody, But why take risk? Behind every successful man is his woman, Behind the fal Of a successful man is usually another woman, . Its not the fal] that kills You, but the sudden stop at the end, Don't be irreplaceable: be replaced, You can't be Promoted Don't drink and de Ou might ita bump and SPill your drink, animals. Tam a vegetarian becau: hate plants, Tm not a complete idiot, some pa are missing! Money is not everything. There a1 MasterCard and Visa. Tfat first you don't succeed, dest all evidence that you tried. TEyou can't convince them, confuse them, It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're Being to steal the neighbor's Newspaper, that's the time to do it Join the Army, meet interesting People, and Kill them, Love may be blind, but marriage i areal ©¥e-opener, Muititask Ng means Messing uy Several thi ed NS at once.Never test the depth of the water with both feet. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smartness? We were born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse. What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? Ifeverything's coming in your way, you're in the wrong lane. Do not argue with an idiot. He/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience. Welcome to California. Now go home. I don't have a license to kill. [have a learner's permit. My wife keeps complaining I never isten to her or something like that. 'm not going to buy an neyclopedia for my kids. Let them valk to school like I did. Tusually take a 2-hour nap from lto4, Thelieve in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and check book open. If your father is a poor man, it is your fate. But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your stupidity. Tam not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. A cigarette shortens your life by 2 minutes. A beer shortens your life by 4 minutes. A working day shortens your life by 8 hours! Students are more genius than teachers because teachers complete their syllabus in 1 year, but students in just] day. Aphorisms ~man was sitting at a bar njoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous, sexy young woman entered. The man could not take his eyes away from her, The young woman noticed his overly attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being 50 rude, the young woman said to him, “I'll do anything you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for £100, with one condition.” Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was, The young woman replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.” The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket, and counted out five £20 notes, which he pressed into the young woman’s hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly said, “Paint my house.”| Barroom Jokes | | Heal Bar| ( “tind complain loudly that you are being hijacked Symptom: Barroom looks like a circus Fault: You're at a circus Solution: Go to a barroom sees Symptom: The opposite wall is covered with ceiling tile sand has a fluorescent strip across i it Fault: Youh ‘ave fallen over backward glass is still full and no ing on your drinking ut IEnot, get someone to and lash you to the arm, stay p Lift you up ae The saddest part ig A. she ditched ime fap Zeiten 4 Symptom: Everything has gone dim and you have a mouth full ol teeth and cigarette butts Fault: You have fallen over forwa Solution: Same as for falling, over backward Symptom: Everything has gone d Fault: The pub is closing Solution: Panict Beer vs Cucumbers Reasons why beer is better than Cucumbers Beer bottles don’t get sprayed with pesticides Beer bottles don't shrivel up and Brow mouldy if you leave them inthe fridge for a month Beer is always in season Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person you're looking at, if you drink enough of it) Eating cucumbers to forget doesn’t work Reasons why cucumbers are better than beer You can’t get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat Cucumbers won't give youa hangover Cucumbers have fewer calories Your wife won't complain about you sitting around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment Your wife won’t complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers You can eat as many cucumbers as you like and drive home later You can open a cucumber using, only your teeth You can eat the whole cucumber, skin and all A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the ground You can shake up a cucumber and it won't explode when you bite it You don’t have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes, Barroom JokesExcuse Letter Bloopers Me son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please excuse Roland from PE for a fow days, Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.th 1 6 Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault, Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it on Monday, we thought it was Sunday. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. Gboria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. Maryann was absent from December 11 to 16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat; her brother had a low-grade fover and ached all over. I wasn't the best cither, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night, eeeee Newspaper Bloopers Classified ads 1 man, 7 woman hot tub— $850/offer Amana washer $100, Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed Snow blower for sale. Only used on. snowy days Free puppies. Part German shepherd part dog Soft and genital bath tissues or facial tissue—89 cents German shepherd, 85 Ib, Neutered speaks German free Full-sized mattress. 20 years warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell Nice parachute, never opened, us once, slightly stained Free: farm kittens. Ready to eat Tired of working for only $9.75 pe hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 tos per hour Notice: To person or persons who took the large pumpkin on highiw: 87 near Southbridge storage. Pleas return the pumpkin and be checke Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in vicinity are dead Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel Free ducl s. You catch Carpal tunnel syndrome—free sample! Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it Wanted: Part-time married girls fe soda fountain in sandwich shop Buy your new bedroom suite from us and we will stand behind it for 6 months Government employer looking fot candidates, Criminal background requiredDog for sal s anything and is fond of children Wanted to buy: Fishing net, must have no holes Illiterate? Write today for free help ‘Auto repair service. Free pickup and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me doit Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included Stock up and save. Limit: One Semi-annual after-Christmas sale Three-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred Mixing bow! set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating Dinner special—Turkey $2.35, chicken or beef $2.25, children $2.00 For sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too We do not tear your clothing with machinery, We do it carefully by hand Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast For rent: Six-room hated apartment Man, honest. Will take anything Bloopers Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops Wanted: Widower with school-age children. Requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to the growth of the family The superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1000.00 or best offer. No longer heeded, Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything Top blooper headlines Include your children when baking cookies something went wrong in jet crash, experts say Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkersBloopers aS Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over Teacher strikes idle kids Plane too close to ground, crash probe told Miners refuse to work after death Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter War dims hope for peace Man struck by lightning faces battery charge Astronaut takes blame for gas in space Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead Lawyer says client is not that guilty Legislator wants tougher death penalty Man jumps off second street bri Neither jumper nor body found idge, 7 30 ltt John cannot cone to school tolay? ad! Who is 5 \ (this is my) father Fried chicken cooked in microwa wins trip Woman improving after fatal crasi Study reveals those without insurance die more often Man found dead in cemetery New vaccine may contain rabies Old school pillars are replaced by alumni In the news Some 40% of female gas station employees in Metro Detroit are Women, up from almost none a yk ago (Detroit News article) Marijuana issue sent to a joint Committee (Toronto Star headline) Publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6 (Entrepreneur Magazine ad) Would she climb to the top of Mr Everest again? Absolutely! (TheHouston Chronicle) qextron Inc. makes offer to screw company stockholders (The Miami Herald) Golfing immortal dies aged 69 (headline in a New Zealand paper) Man died of natural causes (Wirral News Group) Televised reports The bodies could not be identified because they were found face down (a reporter reporting the story of the discovery of two bodies under a bridge in rural Missouri) Doctors say the longer the babies live, the better chance they’Il have at surviving (from a local news cast) Bulletin Bloopers (Actual clippings from church bulletins) ‘The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were martied on October 24. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. AL the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered. The ladies in our city have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon, This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday. Please use the back door. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. Ss BloopersBloopers | Insurance Claim Bloopers (Actual extracts from insurance claim forms) started to slow down, but the as more stationary than [ pulled into a lay-by with smoke ‘coming from under the bonnet. | realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket. Tcollided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. Inan attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole, My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehiclo. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished, 1 was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found ina ditch by some stray cows, This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow: The questions and answers on the claim form were Q What warning was siven by you? A. Horn Q What warni other party? A. Moo NZ Was given by the Istarted to turn and it was at thig point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge, This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard, The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again, The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. Thad been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home, As Treached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision an [did not see the other car. To avoic hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian, Feedback Bloopers (Actual hiker comments) Asmall deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is ther away I can get reimbursed? Please call Escalators would help on steep uphill sections Instead of a permit system or Tegulations, the forest service need to reduce svorldwide population Browth to limit the number of Visitors to wilderness Trails need to be wider so that People can walk while holding hands Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animalsAtl the mile markers are missing A this year Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so that people can hike at night with flashlights Need more signs to keep area pristine A McDonald’s would be nice at the trail head The places where trails do not exist are not well marked ‘Too many rocks in the mountains BloopersThe patient has no past history of suicides Medical Blunders Pre has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches The skin was moist and dry Patient was alert and unresponsive The lab test indicated abnormal lover function The pelvi ! ¢ pelvic examination will be done ater on the floor Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing, She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 4989, when she got a divorce The patient was in her usual state of good health until her airplane ran out of gas and crashed Rectal exam revealed a normal size « thyroid (long fingers?)Blunders, Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, she took a job as stockbroker instead When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the roam Examination reveals a well developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared ‘The patient has been depressed ever since she began sceing me in 1983 The patient is tearful and crying, constantly. He also appears to be depressed The patient will need disposition; therefore, we will get Dr Blank to dispose of him Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69-year-old-male, mentally alert but forgetful The patient was becoming more demented with uj rinary frequency He had a left toe amputation 1 month ago. He also had a left knee amputation last year By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling much better The patient is 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband The patient refused an autopsy Many years ago, the patient had frostbite of the right shoe The bugs that grew out of her, were cultured in the casuatiy are not available. I wyill find the i The patient left the hospital feeling much better except forh original complaints Matrimonial Blunders These are acls taken from actual matrimonial BUYS Search, for brides. Grammar and spel errors have no place in a profila description, as everything is str from the heart! Disclaimer: We are not responsi if you forget your basic gramme after reading this hello... My name Arthi..... Lam good characterized woman. Lwi to run my life happily. expect good minded and clean habitsb to marry me soon... who may in the same caste. If anyone wet Marie to me u can visit to my he Hello, To Viewers My Name is Shekhar, [ am single i don't have female, Iam not a good education but i working all field Bangalore.. if u like me u weleot to my heart... when ever u wall to mect pls visit my resident or send u letter. Thanks you's Regards Shekhar e Wants a woman who knows ™ better and can adjust with “a forever. she may never create a| (eel ) (bequisition! difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly, thank you She should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one brother and one sister. she should be educated Tama happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. 1am looking for my dream girl who will love me more than i, Because i love myself a lot. IF u think that is u then why to late come on .......hold my hand forever!!! Tam simple boy, I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am looking one girl she care me and love me lot lot Twanta girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while stepping out of house she my should give respect to our cast Hye Lam a good looking boy, who has the capability to make any body to laugh’s believe in god and according to me friends are the real messenger of god ‘The 3 things | am looking from a girl, they are 1. they must believe in god. 2. They have to like my profession and they should not get bored with me when I will try to make them laugh Whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be called the woman of the lamp Jam Pran my family history my two brother two sister and Fatherémother sister complity marred iB BlundersBlunders | BR L want one girl who love me a my mother. she love me a or she have frank she's skin color “normal” not ablack or nota whitey: Think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam nota handsome guy or not a good looking, but my Mom say that I ama good guy: My father already expired. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. byebye Tam little fair Indian color, I don’t have any habit My color is black, but my heart is white. 1 like social service 'm looking out for who lives in Bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY To be married on ju "2006, working woman preferable ssc failed three times with private ltd com Paying salary at py and worked Pany which not nt Letters to Landlords (Actual excer, landlords) The toilet is blocked bathe the children uj Pls from letters sent tg and we cannot ntil itis cleareg ! want some repairs done to my stove as ithas backfired and burnt my knob off This is to let you know th, at there isa smell coming from th man, next door Tam writing on behalf of m, sink, which is running asvay fy the wall T request your Permission to Ten, my drawers in the kitchen Our lavatory seat is broken in ha and is now in three pieces Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday, my wife tri PPed onit and is now Pregnant Blunders in Court (People really said these things ir court) Q. This my; affect your A. Yes. Q.And in What w. Your memory? asthenia gravis—does Memory at all? ‘ays does it affec A. forget You forge ~ Can you give us an PAP of semen Bie Us: forgotten? °™ething that you've Q Hoy, wee How old ig living With your S0n, the one A. Thin ¥-cig Tememp., ht or y Which hitty-tive Tecan QO How lon,‘A. Well, Lean see pretty well, 1 think Q. Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the yoadao occult? ‘A. We both do Q. Voodoo? A. We do Q. You do? A. Yes, voodoo . Q. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? coves Q. The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he? Q. Were you present when your picture was taken? Q. Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? Q Did he kill you? Q. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? eeoeee % You were there until the time you left, is that truc? Q How many times have you Committed suicide? Q.So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 82 A. Yes Q. And what were you doing at that time? eeeee Q She had three children, right? A. Yes Q. How many were boys? A.None Q. Were there any girls? seees Q. You say the stairs went down to the basement? A. Yes Q. And these stairs, did they go up also? Q. Mr Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you? A. Lwent to Europe, sir Q. And you took your new wife? eesee Q. How was your first marriage terminated? A. By death Q. And by whose death was it terminated? eecee Q. Can you describe the individual? A. He was about medium height and had a beard Q. Was this a male ora female? Blunders