THE

WAY TO ACHIEVE LASTING HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS

MISOGI

METHOD

JODY B. MILLER
TEDx Speaker, Bestselling Author of ‘From Drift to SHIFT’

Alskar Publishing
Santa Barbara, CA
 ALSKAR
P.O. Box 2637
Santa Barbara, CA 93103
The MISOGI Method
Copyright © 2019 by Jody B. Miller
ISBN-13: 978-1-7335352-5-0
Published By
Alskar Publishing
P.O. Box 2637, Santa Barbara, CA 93120
Website: www.jodybmiller.com
Email: jody@jodybmiller.com
Layout by: JC Berry
Photos: Licensed
First published: February 2019
No part of this publication may be reprinted in any form without
the written permission of the author and publisher. The author
has made every effort to provide accurate Internet addresses
and links at the time of this publication. Neither the publisher
nor the author assumes any responsibility for changes that may
occur after publication.
Thank you for buying this book.
Misogi (禊)
Mih-sew-ghea
1. A Japanese Shintō ritual of purification by washing the
entire body in very cold water.

Misogi Method (禊) (方法)

Mih-sew-ghea Meh-thud
1. How to step outside the outer most limits of your comfort
zone in order to live your best life yet.
 DEDICATION

To you, the reader, as you seek to break out of dullness and

into the glorious life you are meant to LIVE.

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 TABLE OF CONTENTS

DEDICATION......................................................................................... 5
FROM THE AUTHOR.............................................................................9

PART ONE........................................................................................... 19
WHAT IS A MISOGI AND WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?................19
CHAPTER ONE: TRADITIONS & RITUALS..........................................21
CHAPTER TWO: THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI....................................43
CHAPTER THREE: KINDS OF MISOGIS..............................................55

PART TWO.......................................................................................... 65
BENEFITS OF A MISOGI....................................................................65
CHAPTER FOUR: DECONDITIONING AND SELF-KNOWING..............75
CHAPTER FIVE: UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE.....................89
CHAPTER SIX: TRANSFORMATION.................................................101

PART THREE......................................................................................107
HOW TO FIND YOUR MISOGI.........................................................107
CHAPTER SEVEN: STEP ONE: UNPLUG...........................................109
CHAPTER EIGHT: STEP TWO: OBSERVE AND RECORD...................123
CHAPTER NINE: STEP THREE: ALWAYS THINK BIG.........................131
CHAPTER TEN: STEP FOUR: FEEL AND KNOW...............................137

PART FOUR.......................................................................................141
HOW TO DO YOUR MISOGI...........................................................141
CHAPTER ELEVEN: STEP ONE: PLAN AND SUPPORT......................143
CHAPTER TWELVE: STEP TWO: OH S*%T!.....................................155
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: STEP THREE: ACT.........................................159
POST MISOGI.................................................................................163

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PART FIVE.........................................................................................165
NOW WHAT?.................................................................................165
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: MAKING IT LAST.........................................167

CONCLUSION....................................................................................179

MISOGI INTERVIEWS........................................................................183
TEDx TALK TRANSCRIPT....................................................................337
ABOUT THE AUTHOR........................................................................347
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES.................................................................349

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 FROM THE AUTHOR

B EFORE WE BEGIN, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU A PROMISE…

At the end of this book, I am going to tell you something that
I have never told anyone. But I will tell you.
Now, let’s begin.
I GREW UP CURIOUS.
The development and expansion of my curiosity is directly
related to the freedom I experienced playing outside with the
kids in my neighborhood. Everyone was included (even the weird
kid on the block). We didn’t care. The more the merrier.

SS Licensed Photo

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

GAMES we played included:

• Hide n’ go seek
• Sardines
• Ding-dong ditch
• Princess (I always angled to be the princess)
• Spin the bottle (junior high school)
• Seven minutes in heaven (not for little ones)
• Mischief Night (the night before Halloween)
• Bicycle Ballet (exactly how it sounds, just don’t fall off)
• Newspaper Tag (on bikes)
• Trolls (remember those stubby plastic creatures with long
colored hair)?
• Hop Scotch
• Wire Ball (kick the ball over telephone wire one, or two
for more points)
• Short-Hole Golf (on the large circle of grass at the end of
our dead-end street)
• The word, cul-de-sac hadn’t been invented yet.
оо We didn’t really care what the game was, as long as
we played.
Parents were never around during playtime. We figured
they were reading the paper, playing bridge or throwing parties.
Adults smoked cigarettes and drank lots of martinis from what I
remember. They indulged in the pleasures of their time. Maybe
as a way to escape the pressures of big families that they couldn’t
afford (7 in mine), and as many as 11 in several nearby homes. Or
maybe it was their way of simply having fun.
Moms in the neighborhood, mine included, hosted bees-nest
hairdos, shift dresses and Keds sneakers. I never got the whole

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 FROM THE AUTHOR

sneakers with a dress thing and even made up a silly song, which
I sang with my friends every time someone walked by with the
ensemble. It was all in fun and I still think of that little ditty to this
day. When I worked in Manhattan years later, trudging my way
through snowstorms, rain puddles and air vent grates that blew
steam and stink from the subway below, I never wore sneakers.
Never. See how patterns form and stick with you when you are
curious? I ruined several pairs of heels on those grates and puddles
and get foot rubs a lot now as a result of my sore feet learning curve.
The dads on my block were clones. You could only tell them
apart by girth or gait. Dark suits, thin ties, and earth colored flat
brimmed felt hats with a dimple on top, were their uniform. They
all used Brylcreem to slick back their hair. It was exactly like the
television series, Mad Men. Every weekday morning, I watched
groups of them carry hard-covered briefcases and folded
newspapers down our block toward the train station, which took
them to the city. It was a time of conformity and expectations,
something my generation rebelled against later.
On Saturdays, dads played tennis or golf to unwind from the
week, followed by family chore time. I did everything from taking
care of the new litter of show dog beagle puppies, to weeding,
doing the dishes, laundry, polishing my dad’s shoes and ironing
his work shirts—the kind that required stays in the collars. I took
pride in the way I wielded spray starch and the stroke of the iron
to eliminate wrinkles. It was better than a Dry Cleaners, which
hadn’t been thought up yet either.
We got to play after chores. It was like a jail break as all the
kids raced out of their front doors, ignoring last-minute requests
that followed. See ya!

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

On Sundays, after church, it was always a family outing of

some sort. My family’s excursions consisted of house drooling.
Maybe you would too if you were part of a family of seven living
in a tiny house with one bathroom. I loved eating Friendly’s
Butter Crunch ice cream with chocolate jimmies (sprinkles)
on top as I sat in the back seat and imagined myself living in
some of the mansions we passed. Another curiosity that drove
future acquisitions. I loved those afternoons. I still love Butter
Crunch.
Overall, life was simple, and I didn’t have a care in the world.
Yet, as I reflect, I was learning too.
Each family on my block (and on most blocks in my
neighborhood) had a bell, whistle, horn, or a loud voice that
yelled dinner when it was time to come in, just after the sun
disappeared behind the horizon and shadows grew. Dinner
time was very important during my youth. Homework, not
so much.
Through playtime, my friends and I developed life skills,
including creative thinking, risk tolerance and visualizing what we
wanted to be when we grew up. For me, I was the next Barbara
Walters, an Actor, Writer or Dolphin Trainer. The movie Day of
the Dolphin had a huge effect on me, and I often thought of ways
I could teach dolphins to talk. I also wanted to save them. Our
experiences playing and being entertained as kids often shape
the direction we start with in our adult life.
As kids, we had what felt like unlimited, unsupervised time
to ponder, wonder and dream; to observe and navigate our
environment, to pay attention to and manage interactions, and
to learn to work as part of a team.

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 FROM THE AUTHOR

Through free play, I discovered that I was a leader, and maybe

a little bossy at times, which was probably why I was always the
star in the plays we made up. We put on carnivals and craft fairs,
selling everything from cardboard covered Raffi bracelets to rides
on our backs for littler kids. I think I became an entrepreneur at a
young age too. Another skill that can develop when you have the
time to play, explore and consider.
My friends and I developed happiness and success skills at a
young age because there weren’t any parents around dictating
our movements or correcting our words. We had the freedom to
express ourselves authentically. This gave us confidence.
We learned to resolve conflict, which gave us more clarity of
what we wanted in life. I tried to remember this when I had kids
of my own and activities like playdates became the new playtime.
Playdates were always supervised by a lingering parent who
wanted to navigate their child’s life for them so that they could
be better than the best. Or better than what that parent had
experienced for themselves. This was a conflict in my mind, the
juxtaposition of my free play as a child and my children’s scheduled
play. I often dismissed this new way of child rearing. My kids never
used Purell (like every other kid who carried belt holders of the
stuff), for example, because I thought it trapped germs as opposed
to getting rid of them. I used to say things like… A little dirt never
hurt anyone, or 5-second rule! My kids rarely got sick.
I digress to my past and marching to my own parenting drum.
Independence. All stemming from the freedom to play and
explore doing things my way…
Having free time to play can set you up for an exciting journey
of exploration, learning, reflection, discovery, self-reliance,

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

mathematical and business prowess, emotional intelligence, and

openness to what the world has to offer. You can become a fuller
person. A happier person. All through play.
An Abstract in the Porto Biomedical Journal provides a sample
of the research and evidence that supports free play as it relates
to happiness and success in life.

The Core Premise:

Changes in current societies are affecting childhood
experiences. Time for outdoor play is diminishing,
contributing to more sedentary lifestyles,
disconnected from the natural world.

According to a report published by the BBC,

Play helps boost children’s language development, problem

solving, risk management and independent learning skills.

The report goes on to claim that playtime increases children’s

happiness and emotional well-being. Isn’t it wonderful that the
UK, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have had a national
playday for the past 27 years?
I believe that the hours upon hours and years upon years
of free play (some of it way outside my comfort zone, which I’ll
expand on later and which is crucial to the success of your own
personal growth), helped me develop into a person who not
only goes with the flow, but has no problem trying new things.
A person who embraces change and isn’t afraid of anything that
may appear to be blocking my path.
Throughout my careers in television (yes, I went after that
Barbara Walters role), strategic consulting, investment banking,

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 FROM THE AUTHOR

running a software startup, and, for the past 15+ years as leader
of a recruiting and retention firm, (helping highly motivated
professionals land their dream job and helping companies
develop cultures where their employees stay happy, engaged
and on board), I have developed a methodology that seems to
work. Not only for work, but for life.
I call it ‘The Misogi Method™
I researched and developed this concept over several years
and implemented it into my own life. The results have been
beyond rewarding and lasting. From wealth to expert status to
the most fulfilling relationships; I have expanded beyond my
wildest dreams.
I was accepted to give a TEDx talk on my method, and am happy
to report that the talk has received more than 1,000,000 views.

From there I continued to reach, and launched a podcast

called The MISOGI Method. It is new but has already reached

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

as high as #5 in the Society and Culture iTunes category

rankings. Considering the fact that #MalcolmGladwell and
#Oprah have podcasts in the same category, I am encouraged
that The MISOGI Method may be reaching people in positive,
life changing ways.

And now I bring you this book, where you will learn about
The MISOGI Method and how to apply it to your own journey.

In purchasing this book, you have taken the first step

toward reaching a level of happiness you may have
never dreamed possible.

And while I am not a Doctor (or play one of T.V.), Scientist,

Psychologist or Psychiatrist, I am an Application Theorist™. The
process to develop The MISOGI Method came from research and
reflection about the value of play, the study of the evolution of
achievement through history, a particular ancient ritual called a
MISOGI,the curation of science, data and studies that support
The MISOGI Method’s foundation; and of course, real-life
practical application, both in my own life and the chronicling of
others positively changed lives.

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 FROM THE AUTHOR

It’s amazing what can happen when you commit to following

The MISOGI Method.
• Doors of opportunity will seem to open more easily for you.
• Success will take less effort.
• Your level of happiness, joy and love of life will feel as
though it spikes upward.
• You will begin to live life more fully.
• You will wake up.
When it comes down to it, it’s entirely up to you. I can’t do it
for you. No one can. Only you. But I can show you how.
My personal wish is that your MISOGI journey brings you as
much fun, happiness and success as mine has—and continues to.
We never stop evolving, growing, learning and expanding. It
is the natural course of life and you are about to embark on your
most amazing life adventure yet!
Welcome to The MISOGI Method.

17
 PART ONE
WHAT IS A MISOGI AND
WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

19
 CHAPTER ONE

TRADITIONS & RITUALS

“We all need such places of ritual safekeeping.
And I do believe that if your culture or tradition doesn’t have
the specific ritual you are craving, then you are absolutely
permitted to make up a ceremony of your own …”
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love.

C ENTURIES AGO, a Japanese Shintō ritual was taking shape.

A ritual that promised to purify the soul, to eliminate
impurities, to renew, to be reborn.
But before we jump into this amazing ritual and the positive,
lasting effects if can have for you, it’s important to understand what
rituals are—and what they aren’t. Where they came from and
how they differ from tradition. By having a clear understanding of
ritual, you will be better prepared not only for this ancient ritual
(if you are brave enough to perform it), but for your modern-day
MISOGI journey.

WHAT A RITUAL IS NOT

A ritual is not a tradition.
A tradition is closer to a belief that has been handed down over
years or centuries by a group, sect or entire society. A tradition

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has deep personal meaning that seeks to preserve the past in the
present and keep it alive for the future. There are usually symbols
associated with traditions.
Examples of traditions include holidays such as …
• Christmas (Christian based), which always falls on
December 25th and which celebrates the birth of Jesus.
Gifts are often exchanged. Most homes host a large tree
that they decorate with lights and ornaments. Families
and friends gather to celebrate with traditional food,
stories and conversation.
• Hanukkah (Judaism based) is celebrated over 8 days in
December. The holiday celebrates the rededication of the
Second Temple of Jerusalem. Candles are lit on each day
of Hanukkah and gifts are often given each day.
• St. Lucia’s Day (Swedish based) is celebrated on December
13th. St. Lucia’s Day honors an early Christian martyr, St.
Lucia (or St. Lucy). Young girls wearing white and wreaths
with candles on their heads are part of an annual festival
in most towns. Particular Swedish delicacies are served
to family and friends on this day.
• Easter (Christian and/or bunny lover based) celebrates
Christ rising on the third day after being crucified.
• The Giant Lantern Festival in the Philippines is always on
the Saturday before Christmas Eve. On this traditional day,
everyone competes to create the most decorative lantern
possible.
• Eid al-Fitr (Muslim) in the beginning of June, is a
celebration of the end of Ramadan, a month devoted to

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

self-reflection, charity, fasting and prayer. During Eid al-

Fitr, a congregation performs a particular set of prayers
and offerings.
I hope you’re getting the idea. Very special beliefs,
ceremonies, celebrations and practices that evolve over
hundreds, if not thousands of years. It’s a handing over of the
past in order to keep it alive in the present and continued in
the future.
Then there are traditions that are simply fun, beautiful,
peaceful, or a little whacky.
Such as …
• Śmigus-dyngus (or wet Monday) in Poland. It’s a fun way
to celebrate Easter by blasting one another with water.
• In Bali, New Year’s is celebrated by Nyepi; 24 hours of
meditation, silence and reflection. The day after is filled
with friends, family, food and celebration.
• In the Alps, finger wrestling (or pulling) has become
a tradition over the years. It was once used to settle
disagreements but has evolved into a fun tradition.
Ouch!
• Yee Peng (Lantern Festival) in Chiang Mai is one of my
personal favorites. It is celebrated on the full moon
of the 12th lunar month of each year (usually mid-
November). The tradition of letting go of lit paper
lanterns is meant to symbolize letting go of sadness and
misfortunes from the previous year and making a happy
wish for the new year.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

SS Licensed Photo

I could go on …
But I think you get the idea.
As part of your MISOGI journey, understanding your personal
traditions and rituals will be part of the process to discovering
your MISOGI that can transform your life for the better and for
the long-term.

WHY WRITE IT DOWN?

The simple act of writing (by hand) enables you to retain
information more completely. I was looking at my high school
yearbook recently and just by the way my friends handwriting
spilled over a page, I literally remember specific events,
experiences and moments of laughter that I had filed away
somewhere deep in my brain. This ability to recall by just looking
at the way someone writes made me curious.

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

I found the book of quotes and poems that I had started in

fourth grade and started to read it. On the inside cover was a list
of every address I had lived at since age 5. I added my newest
address to the list. It was such fun to see my handwriting at
different ages. It’s still a little messy, but I can see when I changed
from cursive to print. That was during my body changing years. I
thought it was cool to print instead of writing in script. I read the
quotes I had collected because they inspired me. Wow. I still love
those quotes to this day. I have used them in my adult writing
without even realizing it. I read on. Some of the poems I scribbled
(yes, sometimes my handwriting looks like scribble) came from
heartbreak, and some of the songs from an outpouring of love or
infatuation. My entire emotional life was recorded in my book.
All at my own hand.
Writing by hand can enhance your intelligence, improve your
writing skills and help you to focus. As we age, we tend to forget
things. I left my cool Thailand water bottle at my loft workspace
yesterday. Why? I was in a hurry to get to my exercise class. So
if you find yourself getting forgetful about what you were going
to get at the grocery store or where you left your keys, write
it down.
Journaling or taking notes by hand can increase your creativity.
You may start to write faster as you enter your creative stride, or
your handwriting may change. It’s a mirror to what’s going on
with you at that moment. Writing things down by hand gives
your mind space to interpret, consider and absorb. And when
you get all those thoughts and lists in your head on paper, you
experience relief because you know you’ll remember. Writing by
hand may even enhance your IQ.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

You can write in bullets, choppy sentences or long, winding

verbiage. It doesn’t matter. Just write it down. I keep a notebook
and pen by my bed. Often, in the middle of the night, I get great
ideas, revelations or words that I want to use in the book I am
writing (or a future book). I am always writing stuff down. It
helps me feel organized, is an outlet to express myself and a
motivator.
If you are going through an emotional time, write it down. If
you are facing a relationship, work or physical challenge, write it
down. If you want to get clear, know yourself and transform…you
know what to do.
As you go through this book, I ask you to write it down.
At the end of every chapter there is a place to do this. If
you are reading the digital version of this book, print out the
pages and keep them all in a file for later reflection and proof of
progress.
If you are reading the soft or hardcover version, scribble right
in the book.

ACTION STEP
Spend some time journaling the traditions that have been
a part of your life since you were a child. You will be coming
back to this section later in the book. Doing this will help you
discover more about the true nature of who you are and what
has contributed to that becoming. In order to break free of
that which is preventing you from living your best life yet, you
need to understand some of your core experiences, values
and beliefs.

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

TRADITIONS
List traditions that you have followed, that hold meaning for
you, or that you do not enjoy.









REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
traditions. You will use this later.










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 THE MISOGI METHOD

WHAT A RITUAL IS
A ritual is a particular act, practice, or activity that involves
words, objects, positions, gestures and the like in order to
perform it.
It is different from a tradition in that it is more of a rite,
ceremony or practice. Often, with rituals, you repeat a particular
action, or series of actions in order to experience the desired
effect. An example of ritual would be a rite of passage or a
vison quest, such as that practiced by certain Native American
cultures. Boys getting close to adulthood are required to spend
a series of days in the woods, alone, fasting. They ask the spirits
to give them a sign that will show them their purpose in life.
It is often related to an animal vision that the Elders of the
culture interpret. The transformative effect? They come back
a man.
While traditions are passed on from generation to generation,
a ritual may be passed on, but it is much more of a personal
transformative experience.
I have a morning meditation ritual. I actually do it while
drinking a cup of my favorite coffee, in bed, with my eyes closed.
When the weather is cooler, I light my bedroom fireplace. It adds
to the ambiance.
I place my hands in a prayer position and mentally go
through everything and everyone I am grateful for. I give thanks
to the deities and God I believe in. I do this every morning for
10-15 minutes. My breathing is calm and controlled and I never
look at my smartphone or computer until I am done with my
morning ritual.

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The effect? I start every day with a positive, calm, state of

mind. I repeat this ritual every morning regardless of where I
might be in the world.
Rituals exist for (or are created by) individuals
as well as organizations, groups and clubs in
societies throughout the world.
Masons (Freemasons), for
example, are the largest and
oldest fraternity in the world.
Masons helped build many
famous buildings around the
world and had influence on
symbols such as the Eye of
Providence on the United States $1 dollar bill.
Masons believe that everyone has a duty to make things
better in the world. They have many rituals that they perform in
meetings and ceremonies (which are rituals themselves). Some
of their rituals include secret handshakes, gestures, passwords
and symbols that identify and confirm authenticity within the
order. They wear particular clothing and walk in a sequence of
steps and directions during official meetings. I only know this
because my grandfather was a 33rd degree Mason, the highest
level in the order. He didn’t tell me their secrets, just that they
had them. My uncle keeps my grandfather’s 33rd degree ring.
When I think of my Grandfather and his fervent loyalty to
the Masons, I can’t help but think about the book and movie,
The DaVinci Code, by Dan Brown. The Knights Templar, prevalent
throughout the film, are closely related to the Masons. I often
wonder…was my Grandpa one?

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When I was an Investment Banker, I became good friends with

the CEO of a global consumer company. He told me one day at
lunch that his brother was asked to become a member of Opus Dei,
an organization that believes that everyone is called to holiness
and is very protective of the values of the Catholic church. My
friend moved back to England. I often wonder if he joined too…
Thinking back to my college days as a member of a sorority,
I realize that we had many rituals too. Handshakes, ceremonies,
songs, and more. I can’t share them here because they are secret.
While some of the organizations I mentioned may not
resonate with you personally, the reality is, there is something
empowering (and fun) in being part of rituals that only you and
the people in your particular group know.
Rituals promote a feeling of belonging, and we all want to
belong in this world.

RITUALS AND SUPERSTITION

Other types of rituals are related to feelings of superstition.
If you have ever watched top ranked tennis player Rafael
Nadal, you no doubt have identified his rituals right away.
He has two water bottles by his bench, one with an energy
mixture of electrolytes and the other with what looks to be
plain water. He sips from each one and carefully places them
in the exact same place after each sip. He hops around before
the coin toss at the beginning of the match and dusts the red
clay off the baseline during clay tournaments. Nadal tucks his
hair behind each ear, tugs at his shirt, rubs his nose and pulls
his underwear out from where it might be stuck. He does these
actions sequentially throughout every match.

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I believe that these actions are part of his good luck ritual.
Doing something the same way with the belief that it will help
you in some way, is ritual.

Ganesh. SS Licensed Photo

Tom Brady, the quarterback of the New England Patriots, has

won six Super Bowls. He is the first NFL player in history to do
so. When Tom opens his locker, you will see a small statue of
Ganesh, the Buddhist deity that is known for removing obstacles.
Tom obviously believes in the ritual of keeping Ganesh at hand
at all times to remove the obstacles that might appear on his
quest for another championship. A big part of ritual is belief. It
fuels the positive effect of ritual. I have to admit that I too have
a statue of Ganesh in my house. I ask him to remove obstacles
to my writing.
I also have a large statue of Lakshmi (Hindu and Buddhist
deity of abundance and love of life) next to my bed. I bought
her from a friend who can identify your Hindu or Buddhist deity
just by talking to you. He and his wife are the largest collectors
of Buddhist and Hindu deity art in the United States. It wasn’t
always that way. His is one of the stories in my bestselling book,
From Drift to SHIFT.

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Lakshmi. SS Licensed Photo

Lakshmi and Ganesh are part of my morning gratitude ritual

and have been for years.
The result of my ritual? A life of calm, fun, fulfillment,
abundance and things seeming to go my way. It’s a ritual I will
continue for as long as I live.

BENEFITS OF RITUALS
Rituals can be helpful if you are trying to recover from
addiction or loss.
I have a friend who desired to give up drinking. He is not an
alcoholic, but a glass of wine or a cocktail had become an evening
ritual. He confessed that he didn’t crave it, but it had become
part of his daily life when dinner rolled around. The only way he
knew to see if he could change was to create another ritual that
he followed every evening. When the clock chimed 6:00pm, his
usual time to consider a concoction, he put on his jacket and
took his dog for a walk. He told himself that he would do this
for three days. During his walk he practiced positive self-talk. He
talked himself into the benefits of not drinking as opposed to the
feelings associated with drinking. It’s been four months without

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alcohol for my friend. He said that he feels great, sleeps better

and enjoys being outside after working all day. He even has more
energy which allows him to do some extra writing, answer a few
more emails, go to a movie, surf, or ride his bike on the beach.
His quality of his life has improved all because he started the
ritual of walking his dog during cocktail hour.
When it comes to loss, a ritual can also help you. Ritual can
help lessen grief. When someone close to you dies, you may
attend a funeral and/or life celebration. This ritual helps you
to find closure and move on from your grief. Certain religions
perform particular remembrance ceremonies on a particular day
after someone passes.
A burning ceremony has evolved from a religious practice
into a ritual (usually on New Year’s) that people, regardless of
religion, perform in order to let the past go and to live more fully
in the present. The ritual can help you to release sadness, grief,
regret, a past relationship, negative energy, a bad attitude, or
whatever it is you wish to let go of so that you can move on. It’s
a personal cleansing of sorts.
Get calm and grounded. Write down what you want to
release. Write as much as you want. Then burn the piece of
paper and drop it into a fireplace or burn receptacle. Let yourself
experience the calm, positive feelings of letting go. You will be
able to move on. This is a ritual that you can do in tough times or
once a year to start the new year fresh.
Rituals help us get to know our true selves better. They
give us the power to remain grounded, focused and advance
with purpose. Rituals make us feel more secure and lead to an
increase in happiness.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

If you have ever been married or committed, the words

you say in the uniting ritual are very personal, meaningful and
happy.
Have you ever seen a child baptized or been to a bris? Your
entire being is warmed knowing that the child (especially if they
are your own) is being overseen and protected by what you
believe to be something greater than yourself.
Enacting a ritual helps avoid distraction, breeds comfort,
familiarity and helps you to live in the moment.
I have a friend who walked across England. She did this in
silence. It was a ritual of pilgrimage, to reflect on her life and
contemplate her next move. It was life changing.
An Oscar Award Winning Director acquaintance of mine
practices the rituals of Shamanism. There are drums, free form
dancing and some sort of mind-altering experience associated
with many of the rituals. He is one of the calmest, most solid,
authentic people I know.
Rituals help people see with clarity who they really are—and
who they aren’t.
Rituals bring people together across time and space, and
sometimes, can pull people apart. Reciting the Pledge of
Allegiance, taking a knee or reading the story in the Bible about
the birth of Jesus in school are examples that come to mind of
rituals that can cause discourse for some.
Having dinner together and preparing favorite family dishes
over time, can bring us together. It’s nice to think that similar
rituals are conducted by people in different cultures throughout
the world. We are all connected in some way, by rituals.

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

RITUAL OR HABIT?
I want to clarify the difference between ritual and habit in
the event you think that the above examples could be mistaken
for habit.
The difference between ritual and habit is that a habit is
something that you do again and again for the purpose of the
actual action itself. Examples of habit could be getting up an
hour earlier in the morning or brushing your teeth three times a
day instead of two.
A ritual, on the other hand, is performed with intentional
participation in the act itself as an experience that can change
who you are and how you approach the world.
Rituals reduce anxiety, increase confidence and give you a
sense of control over your life.
Rituals are a part of every culture. They span from the largest
processes to the most intimate levels of experience. Rituals are a
reflection of the vast diversity of human existence.
According to tons of research (including periodicals such as
Scientific American), polls, personal experience and interviews
with lots of people who perform them, I can say with certainty
that rituals are helpful if you wish to be all you dream of.
Let’s move on to where the foundation of this book stems
from…

THE TRADITIONAL MISOGI RITUAL

Shintō is a Japanese religion that dates back to the early 8th
century. It involves the worship of ancestors, nature spirits, and
a belief in a sacred power called kami. This power is believed to

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

exist in both animate and inanimate things. Yes, a rock contains

kami. Shintō was the state religion of Japan until 1945. The
Fushimi Inari Taisha is a Shintō shrine in Kyoto, Japan that is
dedicated to the God Inari. It is one of the most visited shrines in
Japan to this day.
Japanese Shintō ritual practices were first recorded in
the historical records of the Kojiki and Nihon Shoki in the 8th
century. Harae (祓) is the Shintō term that is used for rituals
of purification. The purpose of Harae is to purify oneself of
sins, bad luck, guilt, internal pollution or disease. It is to make
oneself clean. To renew. In a way, to be reborn into a new,
better self.
One way to perform Harae is with the MISOGI ritual.
MISOGI is the practice of washing the body in its entirety in
order to purify oneself.
The MISOGI ritual is believed to have been first discovered
in the centuries old story of Izanagi. Izanagi was mourning the
death of his wife, so he went to Yomotsukuni (the world of
darkness) to find her. When he found her, she was covered in
maggots. He ran away and when he emerged, he performed a
ritual to cleanse himself from the pollution and impurities of the
underworld.
A traditional MISOGI can be performed prior to a religious
service or during a visit to a Shintō shrine.
The purpose of the ancient MISOGI ritual is to rid oneself of
impurities, negative energy, guilt, and other darkness’s, and to
welcome in a new, positive, life changing spirit. The ceremony
helps ease the transition into the body.

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

A person wishing to do a MISOGI usually prepares by fasting,

undergoing a vigorous physical activity or spending time in prayer.
After this, the individual shakes his or her hands to summon the
spirits, stands under a very cold waterfall, usually on the 11th
day of any month, including the winter months, and chants…
Harai Tamae Kiyome Tamae Rokkon Shōjō (祓い給え清め給
え六根清浄)
The chant serves as a plea to Kami (a God that exists in
nature primarily) to wash away the participant’s impurities. It is
believed that impurity includes the five senses, the mind and the
six elements that make up a person.
To be clear, this is not easy.
Imagine standing under a freezing waterfall in the middle
of winter, with nothing more than a thin robe for women, or a
headband and white loincloth for men— and chanting.
Have you ever taken a really cold shower? Multiply that
tenfold and you’ll have an idea of the MISOGI ritual.
Have you ever been nominated to
take the Ice Challenge? It’s a relatively
new ritual. The ice challenge starts
with an invitation or nomination by a
friend. The participant agrees to take
the challenge and chooses a charity
to donate to before undergoing the
ritual.
Then, you or your friend pour a
huge bucket of ice water over your
head. SS Licensed Photo

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

It’s shocking!
The Ice Challenge really took off when golfer Chris Kennedy
accepted the challenge and suggested it be used to raise money
for ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) that a relative of his was suffering
from. The ritual went viral and has raised over $16 million for
ALS so far. The Ice Challenge has been performed by millions,
including Matt Damon, Oprah, Bill Gates, Will Smith, Katie Perry,
Justin Timberlake, and Lady Gaga.
I call the Ice Challenge a mini MISOGI. The feeling is similar,
but it is brief compared to the lasting effects of a traditional
MISOGI. And while the Ice Challenge is done to support a great
cause, a traditional MISOGI is performed to support you and the
person you wish to become.
Another way to experience a traditional MISOGI, if you don’t
want to stand under a freezing waterfall, dump a bucket of ice water
on your head or take a really cold shower, is to try cryotherapy.

SS Licensed Photo

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

I did it—multiple times during my book research phase. You

put on socks and gloves to protect your extremities (they get the
least amount of blood flow), and then you step in, naked, and
turn around in slow circles (to even out the cold gas air). But for
no more than 3 minutes. Why? Because the temperature is -112
Fahrenheit.
The benefits? Read on.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND COLD

SS Licensed Photo

According to Dr. Andrew Weil, a health and wellness expert,

an article in Inc. Magazine (by the founder of Delphi Group), and
too many studies too count (see Resources section for links),

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

really cold, cold can improve your physical and mental wellbeing
in the following ways:
• Strengthens immunity.
• Increases blood circulation.
• Reduces swelling which can help prevent injury.
• Increases oxygen levels due to triggering of deeper breathing.
• Lowers blood pressure.
• Decreases uric acid levels.
• Potentially boosts testosterone levels (that’s a good thing
for you guys!).
• You might get sick less often.
• It may contribute to slowing or reversing aging skin.
• It may help with weight loss.
• It may prevent chronic disease from developing.
When you are cold (not dangerous hypothermia cold), your
body’s natural warming mechanism (thermogenesis) kicks in to
warm you. That’s when the benefits flood through your body.
Think of a warm fire after skiing or a heated blanket when
you have the chills.
Mentally, the benefits are potentially as valuable.
• Improved ability to fight stress due to the decrease of
cortisol levels.
• Increased feel-good chemicals (endorphins and dopamine)
which lead to a happier you.
• Decreased depression.
• Increased resilience to the challenges that may come
your way.

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 TRADITIONS & RITUALS

Doing a traditional MISOGI can be advantageous to your body,

mind and spirit. Try it. I think you’ll like it (after you warm up!).
And if freezing is not your thing, you’ll be happy to learn that
the MISOGI has evolved …

What a MISOGI has become in our time is nothing

short of life changing.

Note: MISOGI is also a practice in the martial arts of Akido to

prepare the mind of someone who is in training. It is a series of
moves to find one’s center. It is a form of meditation.
Note: There are other Harae rituals practiced within the
Shintō religion. Feel free to explore any or all of them. But it is the
MISOGI ritual that has evolved from ancient times to modern day.

MY RITUALS
List rituals that you follow (or have followed) in your life. Rituals
that give you comfort, purpose or simply make you feel good.










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 THE MISOGI METHOD

REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
these rituals and how they may be helping you (or not). You will
use this later.










TAKEAWAYS
• A tradition has deep personal meaning that seeks to
preserve the past in the present and keep it alive for the
future. It is handed down over years or centuries.
• A ritual is not a tradition.
• A ritual is a personal transformative experience.
• Rituals help people see with clarity who they really are—
and who they aren’t.
• Rituals bring people together across time and space.
• A traditional MISOGI ritual is the practice of washing the
body in its entirety in order to purify oneself.
• What a MISOGI has become in our time is nothing short
of life changing.

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 CHAPTER TWO

THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI

“I’m continually trying to make choices that put me
against my own comfort zone.
As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing.”
— Ashton Kutcher

H AVE YOU EVER WORKED OUT IN A PROFESSIONAL TRAINING

GYM? I did in Santa Barbara, California a few years ago.
There were a handful of spaces available for local citizens. 30
of us would come in 3-4 times a week for one to one training,
physical therapy, cryotherapy, massage, leg squeeze therapy and
yoga. It was expensive, but worth it. Not only because my body
literally transformed into what I had always hoped it would be (it
gets harder as you age), but because I got to hang out with many
professional athletes.
It was not uncommon to see famous baseball players, NFL
linebackers or NBA basketball stars (and up and coming ones)
cruise around the gym, getting worked on by the PT master or sit
next to me during a leg squeeze session.
It was at the training gym that I first heard the term
MISOGI.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

A few guys were talking (my trainer included) about what

their next MISOGI would be.
“Is Kyle going to come?” one asked.
“I don’t think so, but we’ll probably run rocks with Kyle again
this summer.”
“Are we going to do the stairs?” the friend continued.
“Yep.”
Being the curious person that I am, I asked my trainer about it.
“What’s a MISOGI?”
He laughed.
“It’s a challenge you take that goes beyond what you think you
can do.” I just looked at him. “Don’t worry, you are surrounded
with lots of support and it’s basically safe.”
“Basically?”
“It’s a challenge, and like any challenge, you are, well,
challenged. So, it’s pretty tough.”
We went on to talk about the group’s next MISOGI.
“We’re going to run the equivalent of Mt. Everest inside a
stairwell in one of the tallest buildings in LA. We just got permission.”
“How many flights is that?”
“44.”
“You’re nuts.” I went back to rolling out my quads.
“Other than the risk of vertigo, we should be able to do it.
Or not.”
I asked about the rocks.
“Oh, that’s a good one. You take these really big rocks, more
like mini boulders, and run 5 miles under water with them. Not
all in one breath.” He smiled.

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 THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI

It sounded wacky.
“I know. It sounds crazy. But it builds lung capacity, strength
and stamina. And if you do it, it’s a huge high.”
He went on to explain that a MISOGI was a movement that
involved a ritual of taking on a personal challenge that was way
outside your comfort zone. There are only three rules.
1. A MISOGI has to have a 50% or greater chance of failure.
2. It can’t kill you.
3. It can’t harm others.
“Sounds great,” I replied sarcastically.
He laughed.
“What do you get out of it?” I continued.
“You realize what’s possible in your life.”
I have to admit, I was becoming intrigued.
Marcus Elliott, the Founder of P3 (The Peak Performance
Project) put it this way (in an article in The New Yorker).

“A MISOGI is a physical trial that you don›t practice or

prepare for (no marathons), you don›t perform before
a crowd (no CrossFit-style competitions), and you don›t
brag or pay to enter (no Tough Mudders). Thinking
outside the box is important, too. “Does it make your
jaw drop?” Elliott asked. “That’s a good litmus test for
whether something can be a MISOGI or not.”

As I began to research MISOGIS and start to apply the concept

to my life, I found a video of NBA Basketball star Kyle Korver

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

running rocks under water with my trainer and their buddies.

You can watch it below.
“We paddled to the Channel Islands too,” my trainer told me.
That year, after the paddling and running rocks MISOGIS, Kyle
broke the record for a 3-pointer made in the most consecutive
games in NBA history. The record has been broken since, but he
held it for a while and attributes his success to doing MISOGIS.

YouTube: NBA Basketball player Kyle Korver doing a MISOGI

I needed to dig deeper into this MISOGI thing. And dig I did.
But first, let’s review the elemental rules of the modern-day
MISOGI.
• A MISOGI is something you choose to do that takes you
way outside your comfort zone.
• You must have a calling to perform that particular act or ritual.
• It must have a 50% or greater chance of failure (which
means up to a 50% chance of success too)
• It can’t kill you.

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 THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI

• It can’t harm others.

• You don’t prepare for a MISOGI.
• A MISOGI is not a competition, race or something you pay
to do.
I wanted to know all there was to know about MISOGIS.
Some of the questions I had included:
• How did a MISOGI evolve from an 8th century old Japanese
Shintō ritual to a test of physical capability?
• Is a MISOGI only physical?
• How do you know when you have found your MISOGI?
• When should you do it?
• What happens if you don’t complete it?
• What are the effects of doing a MISOGI (and do they last)?
I had many more questions, but these were at the top of
the list.
In seeking answers, I combed through books, periodicals,
magazines and online publications. I watched YouTube videos,
gathered psychological and scientific studies about challenging
oneself, and I put everything into files and piles. I site many
references related to my research at the end of this book in the
Resources section so that you can expand your understanding
even further if you desire to.
I learned a lot. I gave my TEDx talk about MISOGI, which you
can read word for word at the end of this book.
The main message I want to convey to you before we go any
further is this:
If you do a MISOGI, your life can transform into one of
lasting meaning, purpose, success and happiness.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

But before I show you all the evidence to support this

statement, I want to promise you that I will answer all of my
questions (and hopefully questions that you are asking too)
throughout this book.

“The biggest rewards in life are found outside your

comfort zone. Live with it. Fear and risk are prerequisites
if you want to enjoy a life of success and adventure.”
— Jack Canfield

HOW MISOGI EVOLVED FROM ANCIENT RITUAL TO

MODERN DAY REACH
Long before I started working out at the professional training
gym, and long before Kyle Korver held the 3-pointer NBA record,
people were doing modern day MISOGIS.
But how and when did the ritual evolve from standing under a
cold waterfall to taking on a challenge way outside one’s comfort
zone?
Through more research than I care to count, what I discovered,
and concluded, is that MISOGI, while still encapsulated in
tradition, has evolved slowly.
The foundation of MISOGI (as per the traditional ritual)
is to literally wash away the old you through something very
uncomfortable and far reaching as standing under an ice-cold
waterfall, or sometimes immersing yourself in a freezing river, in
order to allow the new you to emerge.
You are transformed in body, mind and spirit. You become…
• Happier.
• More confident.

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 THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI

• More alive.
• At peace in the world.
New opportunities open up, positive experiences become
common, success and love are easily there for you. And…
…the more you get what you want,
the more you want what you get.

You’ve broken through the barriers that have held you in

place. You are new, open and see the world differently. You
become more curious, self-reflective and willing to try new
things. You seek challenges that push you forward. You no longer
live in the past.
All of these results come from moving far outside your comfort
zone with something uncomfortable, shocking, challenging.
I know this because I have done my share of MISOGIS. They
change you for the long run.
Whether someone simply decided to call a big reach their
MISOGI, I don’t know (other than the founder of P3), but I
believe that MISOGI has morphed through the years based on
interpretation, adaptation, cultural and societal change.
The ancient ritual itself has adapted to modern times.

Some people simply don’t want to freeze under an icy

waterfall, so other ways of cleansing one’s impurities has
emerged. If you visit Shintō shrines today, you will see a water
bin called a chōzubachi (手水鉢) where you cleanse with the
blessed water before entering the Shrine. The process is called
Temizu (hand and mouth).

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

Temizu has become an acceptable adaptation of the MISOGI

cleansing ritual. This purification ceremony was originally
performed at a stream or at the seashore, but it is now done at
the entrance to a shrine.

Tsubaki Grand Shrine

If you visit a shrine, these are the instructions you will see
and read.
1. Use the Hishaku (wooden dipper) to pour water on your
left hand (please step slightly back from basin so water
does not go back inside).
2. Then pour water on your right hand.
3. Pour water into your left palm and rinse your mouth
(please do not spit back into basin).
4. Pour water one more time onto your left hand.
5. Please allow water to run back down the handle and
place Hishaku back on the basin.
And while the concept of MISOGI is that of cleansing one’s
body, the Temizu is a close relative and achieves a similar
purpose. Many Shinto Priests (and people like you and me) purify
themselves before entering a shrine of worship with Temizu
instead of MISOGI.

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 THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI

Of course, many still perform the ancient MISOGI (full

body cleansing) waterfall or river ritual today, but you are still
accomplishing the spirit of the ritual when you follow Temizu.
In the book, The Essence of Shinto: Japan’s Spiritual Heart,
by Motohisa Yamakage (born in 1925), his research explains that
MISOGI originally started in the ocean and evolved to standing
under a waterfall.
The closest I could come to how it has evolved into a modern-
day personal challenge is research on the history of ritual evolution.
Rituals adapt to changing societal cultures. The marriage
ritual now includes same sex partners. Many funerals are
happier celebrations of life. People can pray or meditate with
others on the Internet anywhere in the world due to technology,
and rituals like the Ice Challenge can go viral. However, rituals
may have changed, evolved or adapted over time, the benefits
remain constant.
We feel a sense of belonging. We connect. We gain a sense
of purpose. We believe in ourselves and something greater than
ourselves. We transcend time, identifying with the past and
holding hope for the future.
The repeated actions that come from a ritual as challenging
as a MISOGI is energized by reflection, intention and decision.
And that process gives us a sense of empowerment. I can do
that! Or, I’m scared to do that, but I am going to go for it anyway
(even better!). And as we do our ritual MISOGI, we reinforce a
deeper understanding of what is possible in our lives. We are
definitely washing away the old because we are stepping into
the new—big time!

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

Artists and Scientists are great examples of individuals who

perform MISOGI after MISOGI. A dream, a vision, a desire,
a calling, a lot of doubt; and then a piece of art or discovery
emerges. A painting, a photograph, a song, a book, a new type
of cell discovery that may help cure cancer.
You’ve heard about being in the zone? That’s when you know
you’re onto something…and your MISOGI will put you there.
Being in the zone is a ritual in itself. You just want to keep on
doing it, over and over again. Like meditation, we become hyper
aware and attentive. It’s an amazing feeling.
When we do a modern-day MISOGI, we project energy outward.
An energy that connects us with the universe. We find meaning,
purpose, happiness and realize that we are, indeed successful,
because we experience success when we choose to do a MISOGI.
After scouring the world for the exact moment or event
that sparked the modern-day MISOGI, which is becoming a
movement, I have to tell you that I couldn’t find it. But what I did
find is that today’s MISOGI is just as transformational, and there
are many examples to prove it.
I promise you, that after you finish this book, not only will
you know what your MISOGI will be, but you may discover that
you have done one or several already!
In the end, you have to simply accept and believe that today’s
MISOGI can achieve even better results that standing under a
very cold waterfall for a period of time. I know this to be true.
You need to accept that challenging yourself outside the
outer most limits of your comfort zone can lead you to your
MISOGI and the benefits that result from performing it.

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 THE MODERN-DAY MISOGI

ACTION STEP
Think about the rules of the modern-day MISOGI. I will list
them again.
• A MISOGI is something you choose to do that takes you
way outside your comfort zone.
• You must have a calling to perform that particular act or ritual.
• It must have a 50% or greater chance of failure (which
means up to a 50% chance of success too)
• It can’t kill you.
• It can’t harm others.
• You don’t prepare for a MISOGI.
• A MISOGI is not a competition, race or something you pay
to do.
Make a list of the MISOGIS you think you may have already
done in your life. Don’t limit it to physical challenges only. We’ll
get to that question in the next chapter.
You are officially starting your MISOGI process now.

MAYBE MISOGIS
List any close to impossible challenges or goals you have
attempted or achieved.
Go as far back in time as you want.







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 THE MISOGI METHOD

REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
how you felt when you faced those challenges and achieved
those goals.












TAKEAWAYS
• The modern-day MISOGI has evolved and adapted.
• There are rules to a modern-day MISOGI.
• A MISOGI takes you far outside your comfort zone.
• A MISOGI is something only you can choose.
• A MISOGI will change you for the better and for the long run.
• When you do your MISOGI, you will end up:
• Happier.
• More confident.
• More alive.
• At peace in the world.

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 CHAPTER THREE

KINDS OF MISOGIS
“Be something that they’d pay to see.
Make them say, ‘You gotta see this.’”
– Steve Martin

IN THIS CHAPTER WE WILL EXPLORE DIFFERENT KINDS OF

MISOGIS so that you can gain a deeper understanding of
MISOGI and begin thinking about what reverberates with you.
IS A MISOGI ONLY PHYSICAL?
People ask me this all of the time.
Based on the information in the preceding chapters, you may
have concluded that a MISOGI is only a physical challenge that
you undergo. And while many MISOGIs are physical challenges,
a MISOGI does not have to be.
After I gave my TEDx talk about The MISOGI Method, the
organizers held a reception where the audience could converse
with the speakers in an informal setting. I was blown away at the
line waiting to talk to me.
A man of at least 70 years wanted to ask me if his idea of a
MISOGI was actually a MISOGI. He wanted to walk across India.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

Yes, this is a MISOGI. Why? Well, while he was not a fitness

guru, he was a spiritual one. And it was something he had felt
compelled to do for some time. I would love to know if he ended
up doing it. I reminded him as we spoke, that one of the best
parts of a MISOGI is that if you don’t fully finish it, it’s O.K. The
fact that you are giving your best will yield the same effects. He
seemed encouraged and smiled as he shook my hand in thanks.
Remember the trainer I spoke about, who with a group
of friends was going to run the equivalent of Mt. Everest in
the interior of one of the tallest buildings in Los Angeles?
44 flights. Guess what? No one finished. Not one. And these
guys were in amazing shape. Some ended up with vertigo,
others threw up halfway through…but the picture they sent
me of all of them sitting on the roof of the building with their
sweaty legs dangling over the side, was priceless. I could tell
in speaking with two of them afterwards that they were jazzed
that they had even attempted this near impossible task. They
had no problem with the fact that no one finished. In a way,
they bonded even more because of it. They belonged to a very
cool club now.
The in-shape dudes who almost climbed Mt. Everest – inside.
So, know that if you take on a MISOGI in your life, and you
don’t fully complete it, yet you’ve given it your all, you will benefit
just the same.
The next in line was a young couple. She was particularly
excited, and he was standoffish.
“I want to climb Kilimanjaro,” she stated with emphasis and a
bouncy smile. Her husband just rolled his eyes.

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 KINDS OF MISOGIS

“That’s great,” I replied with equal enthusiasm, and then

turned to him. “And what do you think about it?” He rolled his
eyes again.
“He doesn’t think I can do it,” she answered, her shoulders
rounding slightly forward.
“You two are married?”
“Oh yes,” she offered. I turned to him.
“OK, here’s the deal. You have to support your wife. A
successful MISOGI requires you to surround yourself with those
that believe in you—only.” I paused as I looked at him with a soft
smile. I think I made him a little uncomfortable.
“I support her,” he answered, a little defensively. She looked
up at him adoringly, with a hopeful expression hidden behind
her gaze. I turned back to the wife.
“That’s great. When would you like to do this?”
“Next summer. Definitely.”
We went through some logistics and I congratulated her on
already knowing what her MISOGI was.
“And what about you?” They had already turned to leave but
I knew I had to close the loop. “Have you thought about your
MISOGI?” I asked gently. Her husband turned, but averted my eyes.
“I don’t exercise much.”
I explained that a MISOGI does not have to be something
physical. It just has to be something that is uncomfortable enough
to take you far outside your comfort zone and challenge you to
the point where you might say, I don’t know if I can do this.

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He thought for a full minute. None of us said a word.

“I like to read.”
“That’s perfect,” I enthused. “When do you read now?”
“Usually evenings and weekends.”
“Yeah, he reads a lot.”
“How many books do you think you read a year?”
He put his hand to his chin and looked off to his left. I could
tell he was counting.
“Probably 2-3 books a month. Mostly business and productive
stuff. A novel sometimes.”
“OK. 30 plus books a year. How about if your MISOGI is to
read 500 books in the next 12 months?”
His eyes widened with a you’re crazy look. I laughed.
“Sounds impossible, right?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Have you ever heard of Get Abstract?” He hadn’t.
I explained how Get Abstract (there are many more services
like it) puts together 5-8 page summaries of the best business and
top selling non fiction books on the market. There are thousands.
If he got Get Abstract for $99/year, he could read 500 books, or
the core messages in each. Then he can enjoy the longer novel as
a guilty pleasure. I told him that I bet he reads more.
The difference in his demeanor was noticeable. I think he
wanted to hug me.
“I think I can do that. I would like to do that.”

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 KINDS OF MISOGIS

I wished them luck and asked them to reach out anytime if

they needed encouragement.
You see, your MISOGI does not have to be physical, although
it can be. It just has to be a
Very. Big. Reach.

SS Licensed Photo

One way to get your mind thinking about MISOGIS is to pick

up a Guinness Book of World Records.
The first book was published in 1955. It was the result of a bet
between friends who were trying to find reference books that
contained the facts that answered obscure questions, such as the
fastest bird in the world. The managing director of the Guinness
Brewery in Ireland invited twins Norris and Ross McWhirter to
create the book of facts, which took them 13 weeks. It went on
to become an instant bestseller and one of biggest and longest
running brands in history.

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Do any of these resonate for you?

1954: First 4-minute mile.
1955: Most music singles sold by an individual artist—can
you guess who?
1961: First man in space.
1971: First email.
1973: First mobile phone call.
1982: Completion of first trek from North to South Pole.
1992: Tallest house of cards.
2000: Largest collection of Gnomes.
2000: Largest patchwork quilt.
2017: Tallest sand castle.
2018: Most tattooed senior citizen.
2018: Most balloons blown up in one hour.
2019: Heaviest strongman dead lift.
I’m not saying that you have to aim for a world record, but
in all of these categories: inventing, pushing one’s personal
limits, collecting, creating, exploring, or something unique
to you, all count as MISOGIS. Why? Way outside the comfort
zone. 50% or greater change of failure. Can’t kill you and can’t
harm others.
I made a decision to move across the country from San
Francisco to Manhattan, with $500 in my pocket, a car (with no
snow tires) and no job. It was one of the biggest risks I have ever
taken in my life. It was scary, I almost didn’t go. I had no idea
what the outcome would be, yet I was excited to do it all the
same. As soon as I arrived in New York City, one of the biggest
snowstorms in years covered the landscape. I didn’t even have
a winter coat! I slept on the couch of a childhood friend (thank

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you!) and made my way through high and low to get a job in
television. I did. Life got better and better from taking that huge
risk in my life.
If you listen to (or read the transcript of) my TEDx talk, you
will hear about a few more MISOGIS that I endured and that may
speak to you. They were very tough, but just as rewarding.
I believe that in doing a MISOGI, whatever you choose (and
we will talk more about how to find yours in the coming chapters),
you will change, for the better—and for the long run.

MISOGI CATEGORIES TO CONSIDER

Animals
Career
Clothing
Collecting
Cooking
Crafts/Sewing
Culture
Education
Film/TV
Gaming
Health
Jewelry
Language
Music
Nature
Organization
Painting
Photography

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Physical
Podcasting
Public Speaking
Reading
Relationships
Science
Sports
Technology
Travel/Adventure
Writing
Now it’s your turn….
“I always ask the question, ‘What can I do to make sure
that I’m different from everyone?’” — Malcolm Gladwell

MY PAST MISOGIS
Now that you have some examples and categories of
MISOGIS, do your best to add to your list of your past MISOGIS.











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REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
how you felt when you completed (or didn’t) your past MISOGI(s).
Jot down any thoughts you might have for a potential MISOGI in
your near future. What is calling you? What scares you but you
feel pulled to do? What excites or inspires you?













TAKEAWAYS
• A MISOGI can be physical, but it doesn’t have to be.
• A MISOGI should be uncomfortable and challenge you
significantly.
• Almost completing a MISOGI is as good as completing one.
• You may have already done a MISOGI.
• Examples of other people’s MISOGIS can guide you.

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 PART TWO
BENEFITS OF A MISOGI
“Whenever you feel uncomfortable, instead of retreating
back into your old comfort zone, pat yourself on the back and say,
“I must be growing,” and continue moving forward.”
– T. Harv Eker

M OVING OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE can be

uncomfortable. Moving beyond uncomfortable can be
transformational.
When you remain in your comfort zone, you probably want
to stay there. Why? Because it’s comfortable. Most people tend
to resist change. Especially when it comes to the unknown.
According to the American Psychological Association…
Even when people make moderate changes, they frequently
revert to their former behaviors under pressure.
Change includes disruption and requires resilience.
In 1983, research psychologists Pochaska and DiClemente
suggested that the barriers to change are great, but there are
tools to help us get through change. Some of these tools include
feedback and social media devices that might help us stick to our
new goals.

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Note: When thinking of your MISOGI, think much bigger than

a goal.
When it comes to embracing change, a MISOGI can get you
there, yet it does require resilience to break through barriers
that your brain or body might be fighting against. Receiving
ongoing feedback is smart and responsible. When you undergo
a MISOGI, feedback should come from a strong support
network (including physicians if you plan on a huge physical
MISOGI). Constructive, positive feedback is a necessary part of
your success. It will help you enhance your performance. It also
gives you more will to continue moving forward. And, it gives
you a feeling of belonging.
When my disabled son was learning to talk, I received positive
feedback every time he attempted a new sound, whether he
fully got it or not. Eventually he learned to speak. When my
daughter was juggling a very hard class load at her academically
rigorous high school (known as ‘the pressure tank’), I would bring
her snacks and warm blankets and give her foot rubs. I offered
encouragement and constructive suggestions when she was
overwhelmed. She thrived. My other son had a grueling sports
schedule. It was hard to get everything done. He learned time
management through pushing through deadlines and missing
some. I helped by having dinner ready when he had time to eat
it, driving him to tournaments and competitions and doing my
best to bring some laughter into the situation when it seemed
too much.
Think of how you are with the ones you love. You probably
emit positive, yet constructive feedback. It doesn’t always

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have to be rosy, but if you come from a place of love, it will be

received well.
Social media apps can help too. Depending on your MISOGI,
you can track your progress by time, increments, steps along the
way, and even the completion (or close to completion) of your
MISOGI. Some people post their progress to their support group
on apps such as Instagram, Facebook or Twitter.
It can be tough to take that first step out of your comfort
zone, and even harder to take a huge leap. Your willpower is
saying YES (!) GO (!), yet your brain may be saying NO (!) STOP
(!). Why? Because stress is creeping in. Think about it. When
all is well, all of your needs and wants are met, stress is low, or
nonexistent. It feels good to not have stress. You are steady. You
are surviving. You expend so much energy every day just getting
things done, that to embark on something new can cause
your blood pressure to rise. And while high blood pressure is
not recommended for the long run, a little stress, if channeled
correctly, can help you go beyond steady. Go beyond surviving.
It can help you thrive.
Go back to your past MISOGIS that you have identified. Did
you feel a little stressed when you did them? Nervous? Freaked
out? But you got through anyway? And how did you feel when
you completed them (or almost completed them)? Relief?
Confidence? Joy?
When I left my marriage after 26 years, I was scared. I was
stressed. I traded a comfort zone life for an uphill climb. Taking
that dive into the unknown was a MISOGI. It took a lot of energy,
determination and risk. And while I could have easily stayed for

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the rest of my life (and almost did), I knew, without a doubt, that
I had to go. If I didn’t, I would just be surviving and that is no way
to live a full life.
Another challenge to change is the fact that you are used
to routine. Routine feels comfortable. You may drink a certain
kind of coffee each morning (Big cheer for Philz coffee from San
Francisco!), you work out before or after work, and maybe you
always take lunch at your desk or go for a walk. You have routines
that you follow (some may be habit) that give you a feeling of
safety, control and comfort.
But life is not routine. Change is always happening, all around
you. And if you don’t embrace it, you could wither away in habit
or routine, never experiencing all that this wonderful world has
to offer.

FIGHT OR FLIGHT
Have you ever experienced the flight or fight response? I
remember when I couldn’t make it for a final in college. My
boyfriend’s father had died in a horrible auto accident and I
needed to be there. It was a sad and stressful time. I did end
up taking the final a week later, in a professor’s office with a
Proctor administering it, but I don’t remember how I did. I
blocked that out. Yet, from time to time, I still have dreams of
being 2 credits short of graduating. That time in my life had a
huge impact on me.
As humans, we are built to survive. We were hunters
and gatherers, and our survival was constantly threatened.
Survival is in our DNA. I think this may be related to why we
might freak out if we miss a test (like I did), or not get to a

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meeting on time. And while these are not life threatening,

they do stress us out.
So, when you consider a MISOGI, you have to get over this
whole fear of risk, fear of change, just plain fear. Face it head on.
But in facing it, tell your fight or flight brain that this experience
is going to be exciting! You’re going to have a blast! Just think
what you’ll learn about the world and yourself. You. Are. A.
Warrior! Now doesn’t that sound better than no thanks, I think
I’ll crawl back under the covers? Train your brain! Positive self-
talk is powerful.
Before we dig deeper into change, it’s a good time to stop
and spend ten minutes with your eyes closed. Don’t close
them yet!
Turn on some soft meditative music (instrumental only) and
sit in a comfortable place. I like to sit with my legs stretched out
and my back supported by pillows. Once you are comfortable,
start to breathe slowly. In four counts, out four counts. Just pay
attention to your breath. Take your attention to where the breath
enters and exits your nose. At the end of ten minutes, you may
(in your mind’s eye) see your breath coming in and out in front of
your nose. When I do this now, I see a white light in front of me
about 8 minutes in.
I learned this meditation technique in Koh Samui, Thailand,
from a monk who came from Australia. I know, kind of one off.
But he was an awesome teacher. I practice this every day now,
and sometimes more than once a day if I feel stress coming on.
It is an instant relaxer, focus tool and natural calming technique.
Give it a try.

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You can close your eyes now. Try not to fall asleep. But if you
do, that’s OK.

SS Licensed Photo

Welcome back! I just took a break to meditate myself. I feel

refreshed and ready to continue our discussion of embracing
change.
Change gets us out of routine. And while routine can be
comforting, if you only stick to routine in life, you will never grow
or reach your peak. But if you do get out of your comfort zone,
your brain will adapt too. You’ll convince yourself that you’re not
going to suffer, and that change is actually a good thing. And if
you’re like many MISOGIS, you’ll eventually seek to invite change
into your life with open arms.
It’s also important, when you open yourself up to change,
that you surround yourself with positive support. Stay clear of
naysayers. You’ve likely heard the phrase; the squeaky wheel gets
the grease. How many times have you found yourself responding
more quickly to the squeaky wheels in your life as opposed to
the ones that are smooth: aka, the positive influences in your

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life? I bet you can still remember when someone called you a
name as a kid (unless you were that perfect popular person),
or maybe you get depressed easily due to your interpretation
of a look someone gives you, a comment they make or a sour
reaction to something you said or did.
Ph.D. John Cacioppo conducted a study where he showed
subjects pictures that elicited feelings of positivity (such as
money, a nice car or ice cream). He then showed the same
subjects’ pictures of negative images (a dead cat or a mutilated
person). Finally, he showed neutral emotion pictures (a spoon,
a comb). During each segment he measured the brain waves in
his subjects’ cerebral cortex’s, which is the most developed part
of our brain. The cerebral cortex is where we think, perceive and
understand. It’s where we process information.
Based on his measurements, Cacioppi demonstrated that a
higher surge in electrical activity took place when the subjects
were exposed to negative stimuli as opposed to positive or
neutral. Remember the flight or fight mode? This is how we have
always been wired, in order to keep away from harm. You can
read more about Dr. Cacioppo’s study and your cerebral cortex in
the resources section at the end of this book.
And so, as you start to think about what your MISOGI might
be, you must know that this dodging of danger feeling may come
into play. It’s OK. You will get through it. Just acknowledging
something is one step closer to reducing your fear of it; and
eventually, embracing it.
I’m not saying that after you do your MISOGI, you’re going to
want to go skydiving in a wingsuit at 10,000 feet (pick up a copy
of my book From Drift to SHIFT and read the story about Andy

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Wirth, the CEO of Squaw Valley and Alpine Meadows ski resorts
whose skydiving journey changed his life…). But you will have
entered a new level of comfort that sits far outside the zone you
have been living in all your life. And then, you’ll want to go even
further in your journey to discover what is possible in your life.

WHAT ABOUT SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS

Your MISOGI will lead you to more a more positive natural state.
And when you feel positive about yourself, you feel happy. A study
by University of California, Riverside, concluded that happy people
are more content with their jobs and experience more autonomy.
They also do better work and get higher rated performance reviews.
Their less happy peers are less likely to get promoted or receive
coworker support. They also found that happy, positive people
have less unemployment than unhappy people. Happy, positive
people are also healthier and live more fulfilling, longer lives.
POSITIVITY HAPPINESS  SUCCESS

WHY
Write down the reasons why you want to do a MISOGI. How
do you want to change?








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 BENEFITS OF A MISOGI

REFLECTION
In this section, write about what you’re afraid of when it
comes to doing a MISOGI. Then write what you need to do, be,
have, to overcome that fear.












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 CHAPTER FOUR

DECONDITIONING AND
SELF-KNOWING
No problem can be solved from the same level of
consciousness that created it.
– Albert Einstein

T O KNOW ME IS TO LOVE ME. But how well do we really know

ourselves? And how can we truly love ourselves until we
really know ourselves? The first step is to decondition ourselves
in order to find out who we are underneath. To open up to our
beliefs, opinions, assumptions and attitudes that may be limiting
our ability to know our true self. If you want to move toward
redefining what’s possible in your life, you first need to do a
level of conscious analysis. In doing so, you will gain a better
understanding of who you are now, and who you want to become.
You can’t get there from here until you understand what here
is for you. Once you understand here, you’ll have the knowledge
you need to begin your journey to where you want to go. A
MISOGI will get you there, but you need to really know you first.
I’ve taken a few personality tests in my life, all of which were
pretty telling. Myers-Briggs, Campbell, Winslow, Holtzman Inkblot,

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Right-Left Brain. But one of my favorites is the Enneagram test. I

like it because it describes personality types and leanings based
on feelings as opposed to characteristics. I am a 2 with a strong
lean toward 3, which means that I am loving and supportive of
others first, but that I have a very strong personal achievement
drive. 7 and 9 are close behind. Pretty spot on! Sometimes my
drive makes me very focused. Sometimes my focus drives me.
It’s also easy for me to go with the flow or spend hours baking
cookies, which I find relaxing (and yummy). But when I have a
deadline, I definitely turn on my 3-mode.

www.integrative9.com

Personality tests are a great way to understand some basic

personality traits you may have, which will give you a point from
which to launch your deconditioning process. Oh, I tend to be,
do, feel this way, which is why I may hold on to that opinion,
this judgment or that belief. Even though I have taken all of the

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tests I mentioned, the Enneagram gave me extra clarity going

into my Amazon immersion MISOGI (which I touched up on my
TEDx talk and wrote extensively about in my top selling book,
Drift to SHIFT). I went into the Amazon with a solid idea of who
I was (at the current stage of my life), and where I wanted to go.
The MISOGI helped me get there. But I had to know me first.
Personality tests give you a vantage point to consider your
life by as you dig deeper.
Try some of the tests (links in the resources section) to get an
idea where you lean based on your general personality type. At
that point you can begin the deconditioning process so that you
are open to what great things await you with your MISOGI.
Once you know who you are now, you will be able to reject
or shed the parts of you that you no longer wish to be. For me,
I love that I am a feeling person, but I wanted to express myself
more, regardless of consequences. I wanted to be completely
authentic and transparent on the outside. That’s hard to do
when you’ve been conditioned to keep your feelings to yourself
for years just so that you don’t trigger an exaggerated response
from another. I was censoring life for far too long. And I was
filtering my responses. What I wanted was for others to see me
as I saw myself. Loving, but ambitious and full of ideas, beliefs
and opinions. Very spontaneous, sometimes jumping in too
quickly, but always moving forward with a zest for life.
So how do you shed the parts of you that no longer serve
you? You allow. You give yourself permission. No one else need
be involved. You could see a therapist if that’s helpful for you,
but you can do it by yourself, for yourself just as well.

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HOW TO DECONDITION
The way to initiate the deconditioning process is to relax and
clear your mind. You can accomplish this by giving yourself a
simple task, which will guide your focus.
Some people, like top-ranked tennis player Novak Djokovic,
might bounce the tennis ball a certain number of times before
serving in order to shed himself of distraction. If you are a public
speaker (or strive to be), you’ve probably heard the popular
advice for remaining calm. Pretend the audience is in their
underwear. This simple thought can help you shed nerves. Small
actions like these can help you clear the mental clutter swirling
inside your head and allow deconditioning to take hold.
I have found that what works well for many people, regardless
of sport, occupation. or stage of life, is a short meditative
exercise.

DECONDITION EXERCISE #1
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit. Breathe in and breather
out slowly for 5-10 minutes. Focus on your breath. Just your breath.
When you feel calm, talk to yourself silently. Say things like:
I have changed.
I am not X anymore.
I am becoming more of who I really am.
I like who I am becoming.
I don’t need to be X anymore.
Do this every day for a week and you will start to experience
a deconditioning. You won’t feel a need to hold on to those traits
or emotions that have had control over you for far too long.

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DECONDITION EXERCISE #2
Another way to decondition and move toward the authentic
you, the real you that lies beneath the surface of societal
expectations, is to write a letter to yourself—your child self. Tell
young you what matters to you, what makes you afraid and what
you want deep inside. You’ll feel yourself connecting to who you
really are because writing a letter to yourself is very safe. You’ll
start to release self-judgment, burdens, doubts and negativity.
You will begin to decondition.
You can also write a letter from your child self. Write to you
now, or someone else that feels safe and supportive. Get detailed
about your observations. Describe the experiences that come
up. The feelings or beliefs that you are holding onto but don’t
want to anymore. The exercise will give you release and relief,
and you may discover even more by switching roles.

DECONDITION EXERCISE #3
A third way to decondition, so that you can release baggage
and open the door to allowing, is to go back in time and actually
talk to the younger version of you. This is the method that I
choose, primarily because my writing is more externally focused,
whereas my private conversations are aimed internally. Let me
explain how it’s done by personal example.
First, I get quiet, breathe and let any internal noise subside.
I then ask ‘me’ to come in. I always see myself at 11 years
old. I have on a green and brown striped 70s shirt and copper
corduroys. My sneakers are worn in and untied. I have long,
stringy blond hair. It looks tangled and free. I have a ‘fang’ tooth
sticking out of my upper right gum, which I hide with my lip when

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I can. As I speak to younger me, I assure myself that the fang is

unique and encourage myself to not hide it. I feel a sense of
release. You see, I was a cheerleader and how I looked mattered
to me. I hated the fang. I eventually got braces to move the fang
into place.
I also grew up in a large family that had little money. I didn’t
notice this until about 11 when life seemed to be falling apart
for an 11-year old. I needed new saddle shoes for cheerleading,
but we couldn’t afford them. I made bracelets after school at
the YMCA and sold them. I stole a notebook for class from the
local office store. I got caught, but the Manager thought it was
already mine. I never stole again. I didn’t feel like my mother was
warm and fuzzy like I wanted her to be. She was Swedish, kind of
chilly; but later I realized that she was suffering inside due to my
Dad moving on. How would she pay for all these kids? She didn’t
work. Not then.
The lack of money growing up stayed with me, drove me,
consumed me. I have plenty of money now, but the fear pops its
ugly head up every now and then. And when it does, I go back
and pull 11-year me onto my lap. I reassure young me that I will
take care of her (me). That I will always love her. That I will always
provide. I feel relief. It is a very powerful exercise. I am basically
my own mom.
I have three unique and amazing children of my own now
whom I have always done this with. I pulled them onto my lap
throughout their younger years and told them that I loved them.
That I will always be there unconditionally for them. I believe in
them. I always will.

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But I needed to do this for myself. It helped me to completely

decondition and let go of fear.
It helped me to reject psychological impressions that didn’t
serve me.
You may have some past experiences that have left their mark
on you. Have a conversation with the younger you. It’s amazing
how you can let go and move on.
The past leaves its imprint on us. We carry impressions with
us and repeat the same reaction over and over again, even if it is
the opposite of our reality. Beliefs about money, love, self-worth,
career success, etc. It becomes a pattern that we can’t seem to
shake. The key is to reject this no longer relevant thinking. And
when we can go back and address it, we can decondition and
release, allowing us to be truly present today, with our real self
and without the past dragging us down.
Just noticing that you are holding onto past conditioning will
help you decondition. But you have to go there to get to the here
that you want.
Not only will the suggestions in this chapter help you decondition,
you will also benefit from increased self-refection and self-
awareness. You will no longer need to censor your reality due to past
impressions. You will be more open to new sources of information
and experiences because you have expanded your mindfulness.
Each day will be about experiences and you will be better
equipped to face challenges as they present themselves. And,
you won’t get marred down in them. You will be deconditioned,
the first step in allowing yourself to find your MISOGI.

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SELF KNOWING
“When you tune your antennae to moments, to feelings,
you begin to experience the world in ways that inspire you.”
– Ron Howard

SS Licensed Photo

SELF-KNOWING IS UNDERSTANDING what makes you, you.

Now that you’ve gone through the process of deconditioning
by connecting with your past and shedding what doesn’t serve
you anymore, you are ready to reflect from a raw place of
authenticity.
The ability to reflect and know your real self can be hard at
first, because it requires unfiltered honesty from you, with you. It
can be an exhilarating experience that will help move you forward.
I like to think of self-knowing as a deep dive into pealing back
the layers of who I really am and who I want to be. Looking at
my life, my feelings, beliefs, attitudes and opinions in a way that
guides me toward inspiration.

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 DECONDITIONING AND SELF-KNOWING

It’s you, observing you.

EXAMPLE: As I think about some of the personality tests I
have taken, by going through this process, I have discovered
something else about the real me. I always fall smack in the
middle. I am an extrovert and an introvert. I am left brain and
right brain. I never lean too far in one direction. I am analytical
and a imaginative. I love figuring things out and I love creating.
I get immersed in singing and doing puzzles. I started out as
a Marine Biology major in college (left brain) and switched to
Communications and Sociology (right brain). I was in television
and investment banking. I started a company and write books.
I know exactly who I am, and the personality tests were a great
launching pad for the deconditioning and self-knowing process.

Test Results

WHILE SELF-KNOWING IS SPENDING TIME DOING AN HONEST

OBSERVATION OF SELF, it is not a time of judgment or beating
yourself up for not being more of what you think you should be.
It’s not the time to say, I’m not thin enough, successful enough,
happy enough (you should never think those thoughts anyway,
yet we too often do…). Rather, it’s a time to observe yourself,

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almost as a third person and record what you see. There is a

page for this at the end of the chapter.
Take some time now to reflect on your...
• Beliefs
• Self-image
• Attitudes
• Prejudices
• Feelings
• Relationships
Fill in the details of your life in these areas. Meditate on what
resonates with you. Good or bad, wherever your feelings are
strongest are the areas that need your attention. Make a note of it.
And as you examine these categories, ask yourself these
questions:
Do I like this?
Do I want to change it?

EXAMPLE: You might have a friendship that’s gone bad. Does

this bother you or are you OK with it? What part did you play in
the dissolution? Do you want to change it?
When I left my marriage, my close girlfriends were shocked.
Shocked that I left and shocked that I didn’t tell them. They
knew I wasn’t happy, but not that I had made the decision.
Once I explained that I knew the first phone calls would be to
them and that I didn’t want to put them in an uncomfortable
position by knowing that I was going to leave, they understood.
All but one. She refused to speak to me because I hadn’t told
her. As I faced my feelings at the loss of a friendship, I realized
that this actually made sense. This was a friend whom I always

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felt needed to be surrounded by lots of people who gave her

attention and adulation. She was in community musical theatre,
which fit her personality perfectly. I loved her zest for life, but
until I left my marriage, I never considered the possibility that a
need for control might be one of her underlying traits. It was my
turn to be shocked. I was clear about my choice. I had specific
reasons. Some things in life we simply keep close to our hearts
regardless of how close a relationship might be.
I ran into the friend at a shopping mall several months later. My
daughter and I were shopping for dishes for her new apartment. I
said hello but she wouldn’t acknowledge me. She said hello to my
daughter. I asked her why she wouldn’t speak to me. She didn’t
answer. I explained again that I had my reasons for leaving and
that as a friend, I would think that she would honor my decision
even if she didn’t agree, and that I did not want her to be in an
uncomfortable position by knowing. She wouldn’t look at me.
She said goodbye to my daughter and walked out. I called after
her…I still love you. After all, we had been friends for more than
20 years. My daughter couldn’t believe it—nor could I. I went
from sorry to angry and realized that maybe we never had a true
friendship after all. I let it go. And as soon as I did, I felt relief.
How do you feel when you let something go that you’ve
been dragging around with you? Or, embrace it? A relationship,
a belief, a fear, an opinion of yourself…
If you feel relief, freedom, clarity, happiness, calm, you are
gaining a better sense of you. A self-knowing that will help
prepare you for your MISOGI journey.
EXAMPLE: When I interviewed Brittni Hutton after she
qualified for the 2020 Olympic trials, she spoke about certain

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parts of her past that while sad, have helped drive her forward
with her MISOGI quest.
Brittni’s MISOGI: To represent the United States in the
Marathon at the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, Japan.
I won’t share what Brittni’s experiences were here (you can
read the interview toward the end of this book), but I will tell you
that Brittni has explored her past extensively and has decided
how she wants to channel her life. She took a lot of time to
decondition and reflect, which had a significant impact on her
overall confidence, and I believe, her performance. Brittni dives
deep emotionally when she trains; before a race, after a race,
and during recovery. She truly knows herself. It comes through
with her effervescent smile and positive attitude, her confidence,
kindness, drive, determination and honor.
I think Brittni would agree that much of who she has become,
is in part due to the impact of past experiences and how she has
channeled them. She chooses to embrace the lessons she has
learned about herself and uses them to do good for herself and
for others in the world.
You can decondition and reflect, leading to a stronger self-
knowing, or you can just keep moving. The problem is, while
motion forward is appealing, if you never stop to think about
why you are simply moving, where your movement comes from,
or what you might do differently, the motion won’t take you to
where you want to go. It will just cause you to push and prod, and
possibly never reach the place where meaning, purpose, success
and happiness reside. You may stay in that job you actually hate,
or that relationship where you feel stifled. You may lead a life of
stress, burnout, frustration or exhaustion. You may race against a

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self-imposed clock that you may believe waits for no one. Guess
what? Time is eternal. You do have plenty of it.
Take the time to decondition and reflect so that you know
yourself. It is worth the effort. And when you do…you can choose
how you apply the characteristics, personality leanings, feelings
and attitudes you keep and know to be you. Your new comfort zone
of self-knowing will lead you to understanding and acceptance,
the next phase on your path to figuring out your MISOGI.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over
again but expecting different results.”— Albert Einstein

DECONDITIONING AND SELF-KNOWING

List what you think, believe or know about yourself. List what
you would like to shed.












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REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
you today.












TAKEAWAYS
• We can’t fully love ourselves until we really know ourselves.
• You can’t get there from here until you understand what
here is.
• Just noticing that you are holding onto past conditioning
will help you decondition.
• Shed the emotions, attitudes, beliefs, that no longer
serves you.
• Personality tests give you a great vantage point to
understanding your leanings.
• Self-knowing comes from an honest observation of you.
• If you just keep moving, you may never get there.

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 CHAPTER FIVE

UNDERSTANDING AND
ACCEPTANCE
“Mastering others is strength;
Mastering yourself is true power.”
– Lao Tzu, Chinese Taoist Philosopher

IKNOW MYSELF. Three words we all want to be able to say with

certainty.
If you have gone through the deconditioning and self-knowing
processes, you will be close (or already there) to entering the
understanding and acceptance phase.
I love myself… exactly at I am.

This is where you want to be, or as close to it as possible as

you move into the finding your MISOGI phase of your journey.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF?
It means to respect who you are and where you are at any
point in time. It also means to not attach yourself to any particular
state, emotion or outcome. I am not saying you need to be a
Buddhist, although (as discussed in earlier chapters) there are
great lessons you can learn from stillness, quiet and detachment.

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During the self-knowing phase, you are actually seeing you in the
third person. You are objective. You are not critical, judgmental
and dismissive. You just are. And from being present, you are
able to choose what serves you now and what does not. You
shed that which does not serve you.
WHAT YOU KNOW
You are entering the phase where you know your strengths
and weaknesses (yet in your weakness can lie your greatest
strength!). You understand what motivates you, scares you,
makes you sad, happy, or in the zone. You know that your feelings
drive actions, so you pay more attention to your feelings. You
know what you like and dislike. You know what you can handle
and what you would rather not. And while you may perceive
yourself to have limitations, you will soon learn that, in fact, you
do not.
There is no limit to what you can be, do or have.

By the end of this book, (I hope) you will believe this.

To understand yourself is to have a crystal-clear picture of
your personality. And in being clear, you will start to understand
how others see you, and you will be aware and OK with how
you respond to them as a result. Why? Because you will be
responding from an authentic place. And when we are authentic,
not filtering our world, it is a freeing, exciting place to be.
When you fully understand yourself, you will become more
enlightened and realize that the two words I AM, are the only
words you need to describe you. When you understand that you
are everything you need (and more), then you will understand
and accept yourself completely.

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When I was in school, I became fascinated with French

Philosopher, René Descartes (1596-1650) and his philosophical
statement…
‘Cogito, ergo sum.’
‘I think, therefore, I AM.’

It was the one statement he claimed there could be no doubt.

We exist because we think. And in thinking, we know we exist.
Could we take Descartes further by saying, we thrive because
of I AM?
Descartes’ life was a series of MISOGIS. He never accepted
the conclusions of philosophers that came before him. Instead,
he formed his own theories; he blazed his own trail. He lived
according to I AM, and he thrived because of it.
NOTE: This is a key element of a MISOGI. Don’t follow the
crowd. Follow you.
Some of Descartes’ MISOGIS include:
• The Cartesian coordinate system named after him.
• The father of analytical geometry.
• Central contributor to the Scientific Revolution.
• The most famous philosophical statement, still believed
today: ‘I think, therefore I AM.’
Here’s another way to think of understanding yourself.
According to an article published in Psychology Today, slow
movement with awareness can enhance your state of being, and
even have substantial health benefits. Think Tai Chi or Yin Yoga
(the only yoga I do!). In slowing down, we give our brains the
opportunity to pay attention, be present and calm. The article

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goes on to say that slowing down, being hyper present and

aware, can help us manage pain (such as with cancer) or reduce
stress, even in very stressful situations.
Have you ever had the experience of life happening like the
slow-motion video setting on your smartphone? It’s a heightened
state of awareness and attention to detail like you’ve never
experienced before.
EXAMPLE: When my eldest son was 10 months old, he was
not walking. He still crawled, pulling himself along with his
elbows and dragging his left leg behind him. He looked like a
soldier under a sheet of barbed wire. He couldn’t lift his head
very high. He was almost floppy. His dad and I took him to see
the head neurologist at UCSF. The doctor was about to retire, so
we were his last case.
“Your son will be 1/3rd to 1/2 his life behind. I am sorry.”
I had always been a survivor. But on that day, I became a
crier. Life slowed down that day. I noticed the lines in the parking
lot, the bird that flew overhead, the car door slamming nearby.
I felt the tears covering my face. I felt my husband’s embrace
and noticed that I never cried in front of him. I was almost
embarrassed, but so very sad at the same time.
I wish that doctor hadn’t retired though, because I wasn’t
going to let his prediction come true. More on that in my TEDx
talk at the end of this book.
My point is that I felt like life was in slow motion and I was
more present than I thought possible. It was as though I had
tapped into another dimension—like a sixth sense.

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EXAMPLE: Slow motion happened again for me when I was in

the recording studio three years later, producing a song I wrote
about my son. I hired a sound production crew to help me and a
beautiful singer to perform it. It was 4:30 in the morning when we
all left the studio. Time didn’t exist. I was in the zone. I later swapped
a day of consulting for a digital media company (who sent singles
to radio stations across the country) in exchange for them sending
my song. Christopher’s Song played on radio stations nationwide.
EXAMPLE: Many years later, I was driving home from dropping
my youngest son at a summer tennis academy when, on the way
back, I felt my heart almost stop and then speed up. I literally
thought I was going to die. I was scared. But everything slowed
down and in an odd way, I was calm and very present. I only
thought about living. The emergency room nurse recorded my
heart at 254 beats per minute. They gave me medicine to bring
it back to normal. I think I know what it feels like before you die.
You simply accept it.
EXAMPLE: I like to play the lottery sometimes. I do it for
fun. And when I dream about all of the things I will do with the
money, and how I will give most of it to the people I love and
the causes I believe in, I literally see the world differently. It all
slows down. The trees are greener, my heart beats slower, any
worry that may have been creeping into my mind, evaporates.
I’m not saying that money is the answer to understanding and
self-acceptance, but it doesn’t hurt either.
What experiences have you had in your life where time
slowed down, stood still or you were in the zone and didn’t even
care what time it was?

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LIST THEM HERE







HINT: These experiences can be the impetus for your MISOGI.

Every one of these time warp experiences has led to a MISOGI
for me:
1. NEWS ABOUT MY SON’S CONDITION: I co-founded a
nonprofit foundation for Special Education.
2. RECORDING A SONG ABOUT MY SON: That was a MISOGI
in and of itself as I had no idea what I was doing but felt
a convincing calling to do it. The song played on radio
stations across the nation.
3. HEART INCIDENT: I ended up having a 6-hour procedure
to fix the PVCs (my condition) and decided to live life on
my terms after that. I left my marriage. I immersed with a
tribe in the Amazon. I wrote a book. I gave a TEDx talk. All
stemming from my heart experience.
4. LOTTERY: No, I haven’t won the lottery—yet. But I have
accumulated enough money to have the freedom to do
and have whatever I want. Being who I want to be requires
no money. And really, doing does not require much
money either. Having? Most things that we all really want
to have (love, close relationships, a feeling of success),
don’t require money either. But if you want more money,
you can have that too. For me, I want to continue to enjoy

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every day to its fullest, love unconditionally, experience

the world, strengthen relationships, write more books
and speak to more people who can benefit from the
MISOGI Method.
Once you understand yourself you will naturally move toward
acceptance.

ACCEPTANCE
ACCEPTANCE DOES NOT MEAN PERFECTION. Wouldn’t it
be a boring world if we were all perfect? Who would we gossip
about? (Just kidding). What causes would we stand for? Too much
perfection? I think having flaws are part of what make us unique.
I take an exercise class several days a week that I love. It’s
a combination of yoga, pilates, strength training and stretching.
It’s only 45 minutes long and you do it barefoot. There is a girl
who comes to the class that must be a teenage model. She’s
about 5’10, skinny as a rail, but strong too. She looks like she
just stepped out of a Patagonia ad. She seems perfect. I recently
noticed that she actually has a flaw (and I was not even looking
for it). I won’t say what it is in case she reads this book, but the
small flaw makes her particularly unique. It is a distinctiveness
I have never seen before. Now that I know what it is, I wonder
how she feels about it. Personally, I would celebrate it, and the
mother, life coach in me wants her to. I’ve noticed her noticing
it too. I don’t know if I’ll ever say anything. If the opportunity
presents itself and feels right, I’ll know. My only concern would
be for her to not look at herself in any other way than beautiful.
Accepting yourself exactly how you are is the ultimate state
of understanding and self-awareness.

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When you accept yourself, you are better able to change your
thoughts or impressions because you are not judging yourself
anymore. Experiment with altering your emotions by changing
your thoughts. Your emotional intelligence will rise, and you will
feel more successful. In fact, when we fully accept ourselves, we
actually emit a positive vibe into the world that brings back positive.
Same attracts more of same. If you want to be more
successful, see yourself that way.
There is science that supports acceptance, which leads to success.
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a
thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Ask any uber successful athlete, CEO, Scientist or Entrepreneur.

It’s how you think that counts.
Let’s take scientists who seek to discover what makes up the
world. According to an article in HuffPost, experiments were
performed by scientists who believe that the core building blocks
of the Universe are waves. Other scientists believe particles.
Guess what? Each set of scientists were right. They proved what
their minds told them to be the reality.
Remember the example earlier in this book about NFL
quarterback Tom Brady believing in the Hindu deity Ganesh, the
remover of obstacles. He keeps a statue of Ganesh in his locker.
Tom Brady has won 6 Super Bowls. A record. Hmm.
See your world with new eyes, or a new mindset. Your reality
is completely in your control. Your success and happiness are too.
Get to the point of understanding and accepting yourself exactly
as you are, and you will open yourself up to positive, forward
change and momentum.

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It’s a crucial step in creating what you want in life. We all

want to be happy, loved, successful. And you can’t get there until
you love you, just the way you are.
Look at your relationships at work or in your personal life.
They’re great when they feel easy, in sync, effortless. But when
there is strife; a sore subject, a difficult personality, a negative
feeling like jealousy or anger, how do you react? Now that you
are clearer about you and accept you, you can actually change
your emotional pattern by your thoughts. Instead of challenging,
over apologizing to keep the peace or internalizing to the point
that your health can be negatively affected, you can choose
to remain calm, thoughtful and unaffected. You can refuse to
absorb another’s actions. It is not your reality. I’m not saying be
cold, just be observant of how you would have reacted before
and how you can change that to enhance your own wellbeing.
It will also lead to more empathy for others as you see them
without judgment because you are not letting their emotions
affect yours.
You can develop self-acceptance through practice. Focus
on what you have learned about your personality leanings, the
traits and leftover emotions from past experiences that you have
decided to shed and being fully present in the moment.
When you learn a new language, you are fully immersed in
the details. I am learning French all over again because I forgot
most of it since high school. I love it when I recognize a word or
learn a new phrase. I am micro focused and it’s a blast!
My delayed son lives more in the moment than anyone I know.
There is no filter. Who would have thought that he would be my
best teacher? And my other two children’s best teacher too?

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Practice getting into the details of each moment of each

experience. Be in the moment fully. Observe how good you feel;
how positive your thoughts are and how calmness permeates
your soul. See how you express yourself differently. Watch your
behavior and emotions change for the better. Feel your level of
self-acceptance rise.
You are in the ideal place to find your MISOGI.

EXERCISE
Practice the Johari Window technique with a close friend.
It is another way to understand (and accept) your relationship
with yourself and your relationship with others. The idea is to
choose a set number of adjectives that you feel align with your
personality. Your friend does the same as it relates to you. The
adjectives are put into a grid that has four quadrants:
• OPEN:
0 This quadrant contains the adjectives that you and
your friend perceive to match your personality.
• HIDDEN
0 This quadrant contains the adjectives that only you select.
• BLIND SPOT
0 This quadrant contains the adjectives that only your
friend has chosen.
• UNKNOWN
0 And finally, this quadrant contains the adjectives that
neither of you has chosen.
You’ll gain an even deeper understanding of how you perceive
yourself and how others perceive you.
Here is a sample of adjectives on a website where you can
take the Johari Window challenge with a friend.

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Johari Window Adjectives

UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE

List what you now know to be true about you and specifics
about what you accept about you.











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REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
you now.












TAKEAWAYS
• There is no limit to what you can be, do or have.
• I think, therefore I AM.
• If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a
thing, you’re right.
• You can develop self-acceptance through practice.
• Be fully in the moment.
• Accepting yourself exactly how you are is the ultimate
state of understanding and self-awareness.
• You are ready to understand how a MISOGI can transform
you.

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 CHAPTER SIX

TRANSFORMATION
“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.”
— Anonymous

T RANSFORMATION IS AN INVIDIVUAL EXPERIENCE. No two

are alike.
Transformation does not happen overnight. But it can happen
quickly when you do a MISOGI. Your MISOGI will take you further
outside your comfort zone than you have ever been. The bigger
the reach, the more invested you become in the outcome and
the better the results.
If your reach is small, like little bites of an Elephant, then your
transformation will unfold in small increments too. Maybe too
small to notice. You may not even see that you are changing,
which can lead to discouragement and abandoning your dreams.
When it comes to traveling in space, do you think Richard
Branson or Elon Musk are thinking small? Elon Musk plans to
create the Hyperloop, which is essentially a series of tubes that
enable passengers to travel right up to the speed of sound. The
Hyperloop translates to a trip from San Francisco, CA to Los
Angeles, CA in 30 minutes. It takes 90 minutes today without

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delays. Richard Branson plans to launch a rocket plane that will

take passengers to different cities by way of space. Imagine
flying from New York to Sydney (which normally takes about 22
hours) in 30 minutes? Both are seemingly impossible and have
a greater than 50% chance of failure. True MISOGIS. Both have a
similar dream of flying fast, but they have different ways of going
about it.
Do you think they’re nuts? Another component of a MISOGI.
I have no doubt that people thought the Wright Brothers were
crazy when they created the first airplane that actually flew. Now
look at our world.
People like Musk and Branson, and the Wright Brothers too,
have all experienced success, failure and the will to achieve.
They tried and tried again with their businesses until they found
the right path. We now have electric cars and airlines that are
fun. We have electronic payments (how often do you use a
paper check today?) and progressive record companies. And,
to top it off, they’ve amassed billions. Musk and Branson have
transformed into industry icons and have given back to society in
huge ways. They continue to go for the next big reach each time
they complete the one before. That’s what happens when you
do a MISOGI. You’ll want to do another one.
But you don’t have to be Elon Musk or Richard Branson to
experience the positive and transformative benefits of a MISOGI.
Yours can be just as unique to you as PayPal and Tesla are to
Musk and Virgin Records and Virgin Airlines are to Branson. The
key is to think big, whatever that means to you.
You know that you have transformed when you can look at a
challenge and don’t react with fear, negativity or drama. You are

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able to release, detach and look at the situation as a potential

opportunity. How many times have you faced what you thought
was a huge uphill battle, only later to discover that it was the best
thing that ever happened to you, and what came next was even
better? Have you ever lost a job and thought your world would
come to an end? You picked yourself up and maybe got a better
one, became an entrepreneur or spent more quality time with
those you love and maybe hadn’t had time for in the past. You
begin to look at life differently, with more clarity, understanding
and acceptance. And you look at yourself this way too. You stop
judging. You stop making excuses. You are no longer a victim. It’s
not someone else’s fault. You realize that everything in your life
is there for a reason and that you create your own reality. You no
longer suffer.
When you have transformed, you are open to opportunity,
you become more curious and interested in what others have to
offer. You are no longer threatened, jealous or envious. You are
happy for someone else’s accomplishments because you are on
your way to your big achievement. You will see with new eyes.
Eyes that come from deep inside your soul and that are window
to who you really are. A happy, loving, adventure seeking
individual. You are alive!
These are some of the core benefits that a MISOGI will give
you. You will be transformed from the inside out, and you’ll have
fun in the process. Even though your MISOGI will be a huge
challenge, you will find the entire adventure exciting. You will
have achieved the imPOSSIBLE.
Inner peace is another benefit of the MISOGI transformation.
Your heart will be full, and you will find happiness. It will come

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from within and you will express it outwardly wherever you

go. Life becomes more meaningful. You will feel energy pulsing
around you. Everything you do will bring meaning and you will
experience serenity.
I can’t emphasize enough the power of a MISOGI to transform
who you are.
Once you go through the processes and exercises up to
this point, you can understand transformation and be ready to
find your MISOGI. And while the benefits chapters are to show
you what you will receive when you do a MISOGI, they are also
designed to prepare you for finding your MISOGI.
AT THIS POINT…
You have asked yourself questions and come up with
authentic answers…
• What no longer serves me?
• How do I feel when I Iet go?
• What do I want to change?
• How do I feel when I decide what I want to change?
• What am I resisting?
• How do I feel when I resist?
• What am I afraid of?
• How do I feel when I face my fear?
• What do I get if I stay the same?
• What excites me?
• What do I want?
• Am I allowing myself to move forward?
• How might I benefit if I embrace change?
• Am I ready?

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• What’s stopping me?

• Why not just go for it?
You have looked back to your past and let go of that which no
longer serves you.
You are ready to embrace a big shift in your life.
You have stopped judging yourself and instead are your coach
and friend.
You have let go of negative self-talk and embraced positive
self-talk.
You feel peaceful.

Let’s find your MISOGI!

“Your life does not get better by chance,
it gets better by change.” — Jim Rohn

TRANSFORMATION
List what you have already changed or are seeking to change.











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REFLECTION
In this section, write down your emotions about change.













TAKEAWAYS
• Transformation is an individual experience. No two
experiences are alike.
• If your reach is small, your results will be small.
• When you accept you, you’ve won.
• When you are transformed, you are truly ALIVE!
• Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by
change.

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 PART THREE
HOW TO FIND YOUR
MISOGI

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 CHAPTER SEVEN

STEP ONE: UNPLUG

“[Sacred space] is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You
must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t
know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know
who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody,
you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where
you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what
you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you
may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred
place and use it, something eventually will happen.”
— Joseph Campbell

W E STRUGGLE TO UNPLUG. F.O.M.O. KICKS IN and we simply

can’t do it. What if we miss the meeting? What if we don’t
get as much done as the next person? What if we waste time?
What if we don’t get the promotion? What if we can’t keep up?
Vacation? I don’t think so.
First in, last to leave is our motto.
If you’re like most people in the United States, you spend
more of your life working than you do sleeping. How much? If I
averaged all of the studies I researched, the average came out to
85% of men and 65% of women work more than 40 hours week.

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In fact, it’s encouraged. And, most companies don’t cap it. They
believe that more work means more productivity. If that is so, then
why is the work happiness industry a multi-billion industry today?
This is the industry where I conduct my business, so I have seen
first-hand how unhappy people can be. We use software to track
real-time happiness and to pinpoint what and why is making an
employee miserable. Overworked? Stratospheric expectations?
No acknowledgement for hard work? The list goes on. And while
this book is aimed at your personal MISOGI for your personal
happiness, that happiness flows over into your work, where you
likely spend the majority of your time. So it makes sense to look at
your work as you go through the process of finding your MISOGI.
You not only need to unplug from the chaos of life, the
bombardment of emails, texts, advertisements all around you
and demands on your time, I also recommend that you include
work when you are ready to unplug.
The United States could quite possibly be the most
overworked country in the world. And the unhappiest.

SS licensed photo

The Center for American Progress reports that in 1960, 20% of

moms worked. In 2019, 70% of homes have both parents working.
And we don’t give ourselves a break. Did you know that the United
States is the only nation with limited paid parental leave?

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I remember when I had my first child. I was working in television

in New York City. I got 3 weeks off, only one of them paid. Baby
number two 14 months later? 2 weeks paid. I quit after that.
Most countries around the world have a limit to how many
hours you are allowed to work. Many give extended vacations,
sabbaticals and paid leave.
Some friends visited from Australia recently. How long will
you be here, I asked.
Oh, this is the end of our four-month holiday.
?*&%$!*!?!
Now while they weren’t paid for the entire time, they were
encouraged to unplug and travel. Australia values the benefits of
recharging.
In Austria, workers get 22 paid vacation days off and 13 paid
holidays—every year.
This graph gives you an idea of how much other countries
support unplugging.

WWW.CEPR.NET

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Too much work leads to increased stress and a subpar

quality of life. Work/life balance is a sore subject in many
corporations. But if we don’t take the time to UNPLUG, even
to do simple things like mow the lawn, knit a blanket, clean
up your house, do a puzzle with your family, go on an outing,
have a meal with friends, exercise, your emotional, mental and
physical health will suffer. Stress is the top cause of poor health
in the United States.
According to the American Psychological Association, stress,
especially chronic stress, can cause you to get very sick (see
Resources section for details). Your body physically changes
when you are stressed out. What happens? We turn to other
ways to comfort ourselves when we don’t have the comfort of
time in our corner.
Some of us gain weight, eat more sugar, drink more coffee,
smoke and drink more, just to cope. When we can cope so much
better by taking a nap, going for a walk, drinking water instead
of wine, spending time with the people we care for and spending
time alone.
I experienced high levels of stress during different points in
my career and marriage. How did I cope? I worked harder to
make it all fine. To have enough money, to be the perfect mate,
to get the promotion, to have the perfect body. What suffered?
I did.
My heart went wacky and my stress level rose to a constant
state. I did have some support around me with close girlfriends
who I knew loved me unconditionally (well, most of them
anyway), and I did a colleague at work here and there who were
in my corner at all times (which really helps), but stress became

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my constant companion. It took my heart condition to wake me

up and decide to change my ways. Luckily for me, it was fixed.
But I wasn’t fully, until I did my big MISOGI.
Cardiovascular is one area that can suffer because of stress.
Others identified by the APA, Mayo Clinic and more, include:
• Musculoskeletal system
• Gastrointestinal system
• Respiratory system
• Nervous System
• Male productive system
• Female reproductive system
• Endocrine system
Want to know if you are experiencing stress? Look for these
signs:
• Pounding headache
• Muscle tension or pain
• Chest pain
• Fatigue
• Change in sex drive
• Stomach upset
• Sleep problems
Effects of stress on your mood:
• Anxiety
• Restlessness
• Lack of motivation or focus
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Irritability or anger
• Sadness or depression

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Effects of stress on your behavior:

• Overeating or undereating
• Angry outbursts
• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Tobacco use
• Social withdrawal
• Exercising less often
And those are just a few identified by the Mayo Clinic.
Are you convinced yet?
But you are on your way to a stress-free life because you’re
about to find your MISOGI.
You have already done the exercises to prepare you. I bet
your stress is a lot lower than it was before you started working
with this book.
Let’s move to the practical application of this chapter.

HOW DO YOU UNPLUG?

When it comes to your work, I suggest asking for a day off to
do this exercise. I bet you haven’t taken one off in a long time. If
you can make it a Friday, you won’t miss as much as you think.
Choose a place where you will find quiet. Ideally for a day or more.
The way I unplugged in order to really go deep inside and
reflect, was a silent hermitage in Big Sur, CA, called New Camaldoli
Hermitage. It was near Esalen, a spiritual retreat center.
I was there for two nights and three days. I upgraded to my
own little cabin, which was a single bed, a simple bathroom, a
desk, chair and lamp. That’s it. Oh, and a small porch where I

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could sit and look at the ocean as I contemplated my big reach.

For me, it was important to do something extreme in order to
really unplug. If not, I would just get distracted with the demands
that stemmed from work, marriage, motherhood and social
commitments.
Phones were not allowed at Camaldoli. No communication
with the outside world.
I went to vespers in the evening where I would listen to the
monks’ chant. It was beautiful.
When it was time for meals, each visitor would enter a small
kitchen and dish up the food that was offered. All in silence. No
visiting. I smiled or nodded to other retreat seekers like me. They
did the same. I took each meal back to my cabin and enjoyed it.
All food was natural. No candy!
I went for a 2-mile walk every morning down the long hill to
Highway 1 and back up again. I watched the waves crash on rocks
for hours. I sat. I thought. I felt.
There was a squirrel that sat on the same branch outside
my window each morning. He would hop up into the lush green
tree (I don’t know what type of tree it was), grab a large nut and
hop back down to the branch in front of my window. I watched
intently as his sharp little paws methodically turned the nut
while gnawing off the entire exterior. Inside was a smaller all
white nut. He then proceeded to chip off the top of the white nut
and lap up the nectar inside. It was fascinating. I can’t think of a
time when I actually stopped to watch mother nature at work,
for more than 10 seconds. The squirrel repeated this at least 20
times each session. Exactly the same way.

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It brought me back to fifth grade when I went on a school field

trip to a nature preserve in New Jersey. We were learning what
I later understood to be a lesson in Entomology, or the study
of insects. I sat for at least 15 minutes (the teacher had to drag
me away) watching a Gerridae (or water strider) on the surface
of the water. It looked like a giant mosquito with really long
legs. How did the strider stay on the surface? Was it it’s weight?
Distribution of its flat legs? Then it started to run (or so it seemed)
across the surface of the water. I was mesmerized. I believe that
this experience sparked an interest in the sciences for me. I later
went on to create and find holograms (sixth grade), work with
the dolphins at SeaWorld (11th and 12th grade) and major in
Marine Biology in college (which I later changed as I explained
earlier in the book). I went jogging one day in college, listening
to one of my favorite spiritual artists at the time (Keith Green) on
my cassette player (yes, people listened to those ancient things)
and simple headphones with spongy ear slips (Apple air buds and
Beats were a long way in the future), when I made a quick turn
into a grove of eucalyptus trees. Unbeknownst to be, or anyone
else at the time, I was running through a butterfly grove. At least
1,000 butterflies flew around me, landed on me, ran with me.
I was smitten. I have loved butterflies ever since. In fact, those
who know me best, know that I see a butterfly every day. Every
day. If it is not a live one (which it usually is), it’s a decal on a car,
or a tattoo on someone I am standing behind in line, or a decal.
My point in sharing these stories is that, when you unplug,
and you let yourself be fully absorbed in the moment, you
become more aware, more in tune to you and more open to
positive impressions that just might guide you in a direction you
haven’t thought of yet.

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SUGGESTIONS FOR UNPLUGGING

• Go on a silent retreat.
• Meditate.
• Go for a long walk alone.
• Turn your cellphone off for the day.
• Pick out something in nature and just watch it.
• Put on calming music while sitting by a candle or fireplace.
No lyrics.
• Spend time in a float tank.
• Book a nice hotel and just hang out.
• Go on a road trip without planning. Just drive.
• Walk a labyrinth.

SS licensed photo
Or think of your own way that feels right for you.
BENEFITS OF UNPLUGGING
• Stress is reduced.
• You are calmer.

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• You become more aware.

• You are more focused.
• Creativity develops.
• You sleep better.
• You feel like you’ve just had a great nap!
• You are clearer.
• Anxiety decreases.
• Depression subsides.
• You feel motivated.
• You are more relaxed.
• You feel hope.
• Aches and pains seem subside.
• Your stand up straighter.
• Headaches are reduced or disappear.
• You are more able to reflect.
• You are able to release emotions that you have been
holding on to.
• Your gratitude and appreciation for others increases.
• Love of self is enhanced.
• You feel internal peace and joy.
• You can visualize your MISOGI.
By blocking out all of the noise in life, you can go deep and
start to consider your MISOGI.
It was when I was watching the squirrel on my last morning at
the hermitage that my first big MISOGI came to me. I didn’t even
know it was a MISOGI at the time, because I didn’t know what a
MISOGI was.
I would leave my marriage of 26 years. And then immerse
myself with an Amazon tribe to find me again. Sound nuts? Yep.
Amazing? Absolutely.

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I encourage you to take the first step in finding your MISOGI.

Unplug.
Still need encouragement to do step one? Consider these
examples.
An article in Thrive Global (a publication I also write for), Assistant
Editor, Rebecca Muller writes about Bill Gates. The headline?

Bill Gates Spends Two Weeks Alone In the Forest

Each Year. Here’s Why.
The founder and chairman of Microsoft has adopted a
“Think Week” to separate from civilization and ponder
the future of technology.

You can read about Bill in the article in the Resources section at
the end of this book under UNPLUG. He also reads 50 books a year.
Whole Food Co-Founder and CEO, John Mackey (Whole
Foods was purchased by Amazon in August 2017), decided to
take six months off to hike the Appalachian Trail. He made this
decision on 9-11 as he heard the second plane hit one of the
World Trade Center towers. His mind slowed down. He got fit.
He ate healthier. He made decisions about his business. He
thrived.
Now it’s your turn to...
Now that you have decided to
unplug, here are some things to think
about during your personal quiet time.
• What do I love to do?
• What have I always loved?
• What don’t I love? SS licensed photo

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• What do I love about me?

• What scares me but excites me?
• What is my unrealized passion?
• What would be awesome for me to accomplish?
• What are my core values and beliefs?
• What makes me unique?
• What weaknesses do I have and how can I channel them
to strengths?
• What did I love most as a child?
• What makes me laugh?
• What brings me joy?
• What’s my brass ring?
• What really matters to me?
• When am I at my best?
• Who loves me unconditionally and why?
• Who do I love unconditionally and why?
• What do I like to do for exercise?
• What games are fun to play?
• What motivates me?
• What makes me feel smarter? Happier?
• How do I manage my time? Does it matter to me?
• What do I like to eat?
• What do I like to cook?
• What big reach could I do that would bring me absolute joy?
Start with these and make up your own questions.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a
few minutes…including you.” — Anne Lamott

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UNPLUGGING
How are you planning to unplug? Write down 2-3 ways that
will work for you.






REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you ask yourself
the questions. Also write down possible MISOGI ideas that come
to mind during your unplugging.













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TAKEAWAYS
• Most of us don’t unplug because of F.O.M.O.
• We work more than we sleep.
• Life stress can lead to illness.
• Unplugging reduces stress and gives you clarity.
• When you unplug you allow inspiration to come to you.
• Finding your MISOGI requires that you unplug.

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 CHAPTER EIGHT

STEP TWO:
OBSERVE AND RECORD
“To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.”
― Marilyn Vos Savant, Columnist

IF YOU GO TO A VERY BUSY PLACE AND SIMPLY OBSERVE, you will

learn a great deal about the world, and a great deal about yourself.
Several years ago, I went back to Manhattan where I worked
in my early 20s and where my daughter was born. Back then
Washington Square Park in the village was a drug park and a
place where old men smoked cigarettes and played chess on the
public cement chess boards.
When I went back, the park was thriving. It had completely
changed. There were performers, groups of college students
(likely from nearby NYU) picnicking and visiting, families playing
and lots of people walking around. I could feel the joy.
I was so amazed that I just had to sit down and watch. What
jumped out at me the most was a woman with collar length brown
hard that looked a little dry due to too many colorings. She was

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slightly overweight and dressed in the classic color of New York

City—black. In a way, she looked like many other people mulling
about. But she was different. The woman was sitting on a curb
that hosted a plot of grass and a lovely tree. It was Springtime,
so the branches were full of rich, green leaves. She was leaning
forward, waving her hands and holding the gaze of a young man
(he looked to be about 28 or so). They were engrossed in deep
conversation. She was animated. He was listening intently. I could
tell this wasn’t her son. What’s up, I thought. And then I knew.
At the woman’s foot was a hand drawn sign, about as big as
a page of a calendar, that said:
Advice. 50 cents.
This blew me away. And what amazed me even more was the
line that had formed off to the side. It had to have 15 people in
it. All waiting to speak to this woman with the hand-written sign.
I didn’t have enough time to wait, but it raised questions.
Why would these people wait to talk to a stranger?
Was she a Ph.D. in psychology?
Did she simply care and want to help others?
Maybe she wanted to share her life knowledge.
Was she an executive? A mother? A survivor?
I left the park thinking about her all day. Obviously, I still do
because now I’m writing about her.
My point is, I was observing the world around me with
curiosity, interest and a desire to understand.
I haven’t been back since, but the next time I visit Manhattan,
you bet I’ll make a stop in Washington Square Park to see if she
is still there.

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But why did this particular woman stand out to me as opposed

to so many others I could have chosen to observe?
Because I too love helping others. In my business life
now, I help very smart people find their dream job and I help
corporations around the world keep their workforce happy and
engaged.
I wanted to be that woman!
Since then I’ve spoken around the world about my ideas,
been the Keynote at numerous conferences and written books
and articles about finding meaning, success and happiness in life.
I give that woman a big dose of credit for inspiring me toward
what I do today.
That’s what can happen when you take the time to observe
your environment. Your business environment, personal
relationships, nature, the world as you experience it. Stop and
observe.
In an article in very well mind, author Kendra Cherry describes
how the process of learning happens through watching others.
We gain new information, behaviors and ways of doing things
that we may not have thought of and which we may wish to later
adapt into our own lives. She goes on to describe the difference
between classical conditioning where all learning occurs through
interaction with our world, both directly and indirectly. It shapes
our behavior. She also discusses another form of learning called
operant conditioning, which is more of a rewards and punishment
approach to learning and behavior modification. As it relates
to finding your MISOGI, I suggest the way of observation and
interaction with your world. I don’t want you rewarding yourself

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with an entire box of See’s candy

as a way to gain more insight.
And I definitely don’t want you
to punish yourself if you haven’t
found your MISOGI yet. It will
come. Relax and observe. SS licensed photo

Scientists observe to collect data, which they turn into

hypotheses and theories that they then test. Writers are observing
all of the time, as reality can inspire fiction or a motivational
message worth sharing such as The MISOGI Method. Doctors use
observation about a patient’s condition before they order tests
or procedures.
The one thing they all have in common is that they write
down their observations. I am always writing down what I
observe around me, about my interactions with others and
my experiences doing work for global corporations. I use a
small notebook in my purse, my iPhone (in notes apps and
voice to text) and with photos. I print out my observations
once a week and keep them in a file called OBSERVATIONS. I
add to this file all the time and when I seek inspiration, I look
at everything in the file. I make a new one each month. I have
discovered so much about me, what I want, what inspires me
and how far I’ve come in my own development, it’s amazing.
It’s like a living scrapbook that evolves as I do. Several books
have come from the OBSERVATION file. Secret: I have been
working on a novel for the past two years when I can steal
small blocks of time. It engages a part of my brain that craves
dreaming, creating and imagining beyond myself. I create a
whole new world when I write fiction. But I couldn’t do this if
I didn’t observe and write it down. I wouldn’t be sharing this

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powerful MISOGI message if I hadn’t observed and observed

and wrote it all down.
If you want to really understand you and who you are
becoming, write it down. Write down all your observations
throughout your entire MISOGI journey.

EXERCISE
Observe:
Find a place that interests you and is busy. Maybe it’s the
lobby of an office building, a famous hotel or a park. A shopping
mall or marina could be interesting too. Grab a cup of coffee or
tea and sit. Watch people. Watch interactions. Observe. Take
note of the things that stand out to you. The observations that
you don’t like and the ones that you do. Jot down MISOGI ideas
as they come to you during your observation. Even one would
be worth the time you spend. Feel free to star, circle, cross out.
Make your notes as neat or messy as you want. Just let yourself
go and record your reactions to your observations.

EXERCISE
Make a Vision Board:
I have a vision board app on my phone. At the start of every
year, I put pictures of what I want to achieve that year. Some are
MISOGIS, others are not. Many are in my control. Many are not.
Yet, all of these things inspire me. For this year, I have already
experienced 4 of them. I have 5 to go. I look at my vision board
every single day. You can also do this as a file on your computer
as you surf the Internet for things that interest you. There’s
something about pictures that enable us to not only think about
a particular desire, but to actually experience it.

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Journal:
Journaling gives you additional information and perspective
as to your choices, your wants and what interests you. Remember
the benefits of journaling described earlier in the book? Even
stream of consciousness journaling can guide you toward your
MISOGI. You can write anything when you journal. You can write
a to do list just to get it on paper. You can write about how you
feel. You can write a personal mission statement. You can write
anytime anywhere.
Observe.
Write it down.
“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”
— William Wordsworth
“There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that
he does not know till he takes up the pen to write.”
— William Makepeace Thackeray

OBSERVE AND RECORD

Write down your observations when doing the exercises.









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REFLECTION
In this section, write what you have discovered about yourself
and any MISOGI ideas.













TAKEAWAYS
• “To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire
wisdom, one must observe.”
• Observing gives us new information, behaviors and ways
of doing things.
• Observing can inspire you.
• Writing down your observations will give you a clearer
picture of what you prefer.
• Observing and recording can lead you to your MISOGI.

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 CHAPTER NINE

STEP THREE:
ALWAYS THINK BIG
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
– Rumi, 13th Century Poet

D URING AN INTERVIEW WITH A GLOBAL PODCAST HOST, I

RESPONDED TO A QUESTION WITH, I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT
BIG, I THINK MASS MEDIA WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING MY
PASSION.
What about you? Do you tend to think big or prefer small
steps to get where you want to go? Do you let others do the big
thinking instead of you?
If you like small that’s fine, but the challenge of the MISOGI
Method is to get you to think big. Well, not just big—huge. If
you let others be the big thinkers, it’s time for you to step into
their shoes.
You must be open giving big thinking a go because you’ve
read this far. And you have my support every step of the way.
So how do you think big?

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Do you 10X it like Grant Cardone says in his book 10X?

Whatever you’re thinking, multiply it by 10? Maybe.
But it’s a lot fun than a formula.
Michael Port, the author of The Think Big Manifesto, claims
that “in order to truly thrive, we have to let go of our self-imposed
limitations–and give things a try.”
When it comes to a MISOGI, it’s more like Yoda from Star Wars.
Don’t try—do.

It’s going through the steps to clean the slate and ready
yourself to find your MISOGI. It’s choosing your MISOGI as a
natural progression of the process, and it’s doing your MISOGI.
Not trying it. And remember, even if you don’t fully achieve it,
the benefits will be there for you just the same.

HOW TO THINK BIG

• Be O.K. with thinking bigger than you ever have before.
• Know that it will be uncomfortable and challenging. That’s
what you want!
• Choose the biggest thing inspires you, speaks to you
through the processes so far.
• Get excited about it.
• Be a little scared about it.
• Start with one big thought.
• Think global or mass media

CATEGORIES TO PRACTICE THINKING BIG

• What you do daily that might lead to a MISOGI.
• What you do to help others.
• Get wild and weird with your ideas. Be creative.

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 STEP THREE: ALWAYS THINK BIG

• Let the analytical side of your brain think big too.

• Where would you like to add value in your life?
• What obstacles do you want to overcome?
• Who do you want to become after your MISOGI?
• What is your purpose, your passion and your pain?
• Use your imagination!
“I dare you to think bigger, to act bigger, and to be
bigger, and I promise you a richer and more exciting life
if you do.” – William Danforth

As you practice thinking big, push through doubts, or laugh

at them. You are just practicing. And as you practice, one big
thing will stand out from the rest. That big thing could be your
MISOGI.
• Dream.
• Listen.
• Observe.
• Ask.
• Connect.
• Reflect.
• Trust your intuition.
• Tap into the child in you.
• Read a book that interests you.
• Search the Internet for other big thinkers and what
they’ve done.
• Write it all down. And then…
• Be unique. Be you.
If you want to master you, to achieve amazing success and
happiness in your work and life, you need to think big. You could
end up an expert in your industry, a leader of your cause or a

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TEDx speaker that shares your message around the world. To

think big, you must dream big. Some of the greatest achievers
throughout history have done this. Now it’s your turn.
There is no fear in thinking big. The bigger you think, the
bigger you’ll reach, and the bigger you’ll achieve.
It’s time for you to think big!
“Visualization adds value to everything.
A big thinker always visualizes what can be done in the future.
He isn’t stuck with the present.”
― David J. Schwartz, The Magic of Thinking Big

THINK BIG
List ideas that come to mind as you go through the chapter
process of thinking big.












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 STEP THREE: ALWAYS THINK BIG

REFLECTION
In this section, write down ideas that stand out from the rest.
Circle what you think to be your MISOGI.














TAKEAWAYS
• Be O.K. with thinking bigger than you ever have before.
• Dream. Visualize. Get weird.
• When you think big, you’ll push through doubt.
• Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic
motion.
• You may know what your MISOGI is now.

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 CHAPTER TEN

STEP FOUR:
FEEL AND KNOW
“Don’t be afraid to go with your gut.
It’s there for a reason, and it’s usually right.”
— Anonymous

INTUITION IS A POWERFUL TOOL. Now that you’ve narrowed

down your MISOGI ideas, choose one. That’s right. You already
know what it is. Circle it and own it. You are about to do your first
MISOGI.
How will you know?
You’ll feel it. It will feel uncomfortable but exciting. You will
know without a doubt.
Do you feel it? Do you know it?
If you don’t, do the exercises and journaling in this book
again, but start with the previous chapter and go backward.
Come back to this chapter again.
What is your MISOGI? Write it here.

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MY MISOGI
Now that you have chosen your MISOGI, how do you feel?
Write your MISOGI down again.










REFLECTION
In this section, write down all the feelings you are experiencing
now that you know.









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 STEP FOUR: FEEL AND KNOW









TAKEAWAYS
• You know your MISOGI if it feels right.
• You know your MISOGI if it is uncomfortable but exciting.
• If you don’t know yet, go back through the book.
• Once you commit to a date, you are on your way.
• Congratulations for choosing your MISOGI!

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 PART FOUR
HOW TO DO YOUR MISOGI

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 CHAPTER ELEVEN

STEP ONE:
PLAN AND SUPPORT
“I suggest that you become obsessed about the things
you want; otherwise, you are going to spend a lifetime being
obsessed with making up excuses as to why you didn’t
get the life you wanted.”
― Grant Cardone, The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between
Success and Failure

D OING YOUR MISOGI WILL REQUIRE A BIT OF OBSESSION, BUT

YOU MUST PLAN FIRST.

WHAT I NEED
Write all of the things you need for your MISOGI. Be as specific
and detailed as you can.
Remember the woman who wanted to climb Mt. Everest?
What does she need to climb the mountain?
• She needs to know why this is her MISOGI.
• She needs to be excited about it, and a little scared.
• She needs to make sure she’s healthy.
• She needs to alter her diet.

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• She needs to train and increase her endurance before

she climbs.
• She needs proper equipment.
• She needs a support network.
• She may need money.
• She needs the correct climbing equipment.
• She needs to learn about climbing mountains.
• She needs to practice climbing techniques.
• She needs to talk to people who have climbed the
mountain.
• She needs to come up with a timeline.
• She needs the proper paperwork.
• She needs to lay out all logistics.
And more…
How about her husband? The one who I challenged to read
500 books in a year? He needs a plan too.
• He needs to sign up for a summary service like Get Abstract.
• He needs to pick out the books that are must reads.
• He needs to decide if audio books can be part of his plan.
• He can listen to 10-20 audio books a month while driving,
working out, walking the dogs, gardening, etc.
• He needs to map out his books on a weekly calendar or
phone app.
And more…
Research what you need.
Write it down.

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 STEP ONE: PLAN AND SUPPORT

TIMELINE/SCHEDULE
Start Date or MISOGI date if it’s a one-time event.
Actions by date.
Meetings by week.
Milestones by week.
What you need by each weekly date.
Lay out your entire plan. Don’t skimp on this step. It is crucial
to your success.

THINK ON THESE THINGS

As you write down all the details of your plan, think on these
things. They will help you.
• Be clear about your MISOGI and why.
• Let the excitement of planning permeate.
• Meditate along the way.
• Feel the emotions (all of them).
• Be open to the flow of the planning process. What you
write down now may change for the better.
• Don’t resist. Allow.
• Start to think of who want in your tribe for positive input
and encouragement.
• See this plan as an inner process too.
• Trust your intuition as you plan.
“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, former first lady of the United States

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SUPPORT
“Surround yourself with those conducive to you being
your highest self.”
― A.D. Posey

SS licensed photo

CHANGE REQUIRES SUPPORT. It doesn’t matter if you are

trying to lose weight, stop smoking, move across the country,
change jobs, get divorced, or do a MISOGI (hint: you can find
your MISOGI in any of these categories); if the change is going to
take you way outside your comfort zone and transform you into
the best you yet, you need support. So now that you have a plan,
you need to find your tribe.
Surrounding yourself with positive people will help you get
through any obstacles along the way to your MISOGI. If you have
negative, jealous, envious or judgmental people in your support
group, your group would be the naysayer group. No naysayers are
allowed during your MISOGI process. Positive people increase
your self-esteem, negative people deplete it.

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 STEP ONE: PLAN AND SUPPORT

THE ROLE OF SUPPORT

Support is not only crucial when you undergo a MISOGI, it’s crucial
in life. When we don’t feel that we have support or connection, no
one to turn to, we feel alone. Loneliness leads to depression, which
can lead to unhealthy behaviors such as alcohol or drug addiction,
and even suicide. A close friend of mine committed suicide recently.
I’ve known him since I was 5. You can read my tribute to him on
Thrive Global. He felt alone. He felt as though he had nowhere to
turn. I live on the other side of the country so other than phone or
text, it was difficult to help on a regular basis. But I tried.
When we do have social support, we feel connected. We
feel that we belong, are supported and are part of something
bigger than ourselves. When you have a support group for
your MISOGI, guess what? THEY will feel like they are part of
something bigger than themselves too. They will cheer you on,
push you, encourage you and celebrate with you. Heck, they’ll
probably end up doing a MISOGI because you will inspire them!
Social support helps us deal with stress, and in the next
chapter you are going to understand the stressful moments you
may encounter early on and possibly at various points during
your MISOGI quest. You will get the tools to help you overcome
any stresses that you may face.

HOW BIG SHOULD MY SUPPORT NETWORK BE?

Your support group can be as few as 3 (meaning you plus
2) and as many as 10. I prefer starting with 3 and then grow as
I go. You don’t have to meet or speak with them together as
they may not be comfortable that way. But it’s important that
they get along with you, and you, them. People with different
life experiences are additive. Someone who has broken through

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barriers to achieve meaning, happiness and success in their lives

or has helped others, is ideal.
When I went through the process in this book and decided to
leave my marriage, followed by immersion in the Amazon, I had
support.
Leaving the marriage? A psychologist who I could be
completely honest with and who I knew would be objective
yet have my best interests at heart. One friend who was going
through the same thing (but still hasn’t left). She was the only
person I could tell. Similar experience, strong support. I started
with 3 of us total. Me plus 2. It was all I needed.
When I decided on the Amazon, I needed a larger group. I
signed up with a nonprofit called Pachamama. They believe
in integrating indigenous wisdom with modern knowledge to
support personal, and collective, transformation. I went with 8
other women. While all were strangers, we were like-minded.
We were all seeking to know who we were at the deepest level.
We wanted to free ourselves from expectations and limitations.
Many of us became friends. We all changed after that experience.
So, for the Amazon, it was a total of 9.

HOW DO I FIND MY SUPPORT GROUP?

Who do you hang out with now? Who are your closest
friends? At work? In your personal relationships? Are there
mentors in your community that you look up to?
You should reflect on how you might react if someone you ask
says, you’re crazy, that’s stupid, or that’s impossible. While those
comments actually serve to validate that your MISOGI is right
for you, when it comes to doing your MISOGI, you don’t want

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those type people in your group. You want people who will be
empathetic and who will motivate you throughout your journey.

WAYS TO FIND PEOPLE FOR YOUR SUPPORT GROUP

• Seek out places where you can meet happy people.
0 Yoga
0 Meet-Up Groups
0 Spiritual retreats where you can meet seekers like
you and listen to motivational speakers in a close,
connected environment. Some that I know include;
 Esalen Institute, Big Sur, CA
 Spirit Rock Meditation Center, Woodacre, CA
 Center for Spiritual Living, Los Angeles, CA
0 Volunteer at an inspirational event
 I have volunteered at TEDx events as well as spoke
at one
0 Volunteer in your community
 Local hospital
 Special Olympics
 Master Gardening
 Choirs
 Church/Synagogue/Temple
0 Join a walking, jogging, paddleboarding, bike riding,
hiking group
• Do what you love
0 Maybe you like volunteering at an animal rescue
facility or senior center
0 Join a gym
0 Play bridge
0 Join a writer’s group (me!)
0 Join an online community of like-minded people

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 I have a friend who plays scrabble online and has

made a bunch of friends all over the world
• Pay attention to those you meet randomly.
0 I met a gal in my regular exercise class who has become
a friend
0 I met a guy in the public workspace where I work,
who runs a real estate investment fund. I have been
wanting to invest in commercial real estate. You just
never know!
0 I met a spiritual leader through a friend at her birthday
party. I have gotten insight from her and count her as
a new friend who is an amazing intuitive spirit.
0 I became close with a gal who I felt over time did not have
my best interests at heart – I had to let that friendship
fade.
• Seek out experts in your community if your MISOGI requires it
0 There is a top University in my town. I often speak at
events on campus and meet with professors I have
gotten to know and who I like and respect. I ask them
for their professional input.
0 Psychologists can be helpful if your MISOGI is
relationship or career based
0 Trainers or Coaches can be helpful if your MISOGI is a
great physical challenge.
0 Artist workshops or retreats led by a leader in the
field can be helpful if you have wish to do a MISOGI in
the arts.
 I took an all-day workshop with Joyce Maynard (at her
house) with 7 other women. It was all about writing
memoirs. I put a lot of myself in my books now. I tell
my readers things I don’t tell people in everyday life.

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 STEP ONE: PLAN AND SUPPORT

 I consider my readers part of my support group

when I write a new book. I write for you.
Reach out. Get involved. And along the way, as you grow and
change, some people may stay, and you may let some go. That’s
all part of the process.

I HAVE MY SUPPORT GROUP—NOW WHAT?

Share your MISOGI with them (together or individually) and
ask them to be your positive support system on a regular basis
as you prepare for and do your MISOGI. Make a set schedule
as to when you will ask them for input, advice and overall
encouragement. It can be daily, weekly or monthly, depending
on what your MISOGI is and when you plan to do it.
Start gathering your support group.

MY MISOGI PLAN
Write your plan. What, when and how. Write down your ideal
support group.










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REFLECTION
In this section, write what comes to mind as you think about
what excites (or scares you) about your plan and the people you
want in your support circle.













TAKEAWAYS
• You need a plan.
• Write it down.
• Put it on your calendar by week or day.
• You will get excited when you see your plan in print.
• Trust your intuition as you plan.
• Your support group can be as few as 3 and as many as 10
(or more).

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• Your support group should motivate you, believe in you

and cheer you on.
• No naysayers in your support group.
• Try some of the suggested ways to find people for your
support group.
0 Who do you know now?
0 Join a group or class.
0 Go on a retreat.
0 Do what you love.
0 Volunteer.
0 Pay attention to who you meet randomly.
0 Seek out experts in your community.

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 CHAPTER TWELVE

STEP TWO: OH S*%T!

“Passion is energy.
Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
— Oprah

IF YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO SAY OH S*%T! then you are onto

something big!
In this chapter you will learn some tools to break through
the obstacles of fear, reservation, uneasiness or MISOGI remorse
(like buyer’s remorse).
You’ve committed to an amazing leap, you’ve planned it and
gathered your support group. Yet, I am here to tell you that along
the way you will say OH S*%T, what have I gotten myself into?
You may have doubts, fears, vivid imagery of past failures, a
feeling of unworthiness, a sudden lack of belief in your ability to
go after something so big and so life changing.
I call this MISOGI REMORSE.
It’s like when you spend a lot of money on an expensive
outfit, car or trip. Maybe you said WTF, I’m going first class, and
then you got the bill!
It’s a natural reaction to pushing yourself beyond your
comfort zone.

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At times, the feelings may be stronger because the reach is

bigger, and you have more of you invested in it.
But just remember, part of the fun is what comes up along
the way and what you learn from it.
The process, the journey, the obstacles, the overcoming of
obstacles and doubts and fear…
It’s all part of your MISOGI.
Here are the tools to break through MISOGI REMORSE.
• Don’t worry about it.
• Worry about it a lot for 2 minutes and then say, Bye Worry!
• Think of the worst thing that could happen. Guess what?
You’ll realize that it’s not so bad and it probably won’t
happen anyway.
• Adopt a mantra
0 I say this mantra 27 times every morning:
 Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha Sharanam Ganesha
 “Lord Ganesh, son of Lord Shiva, remover of obstacles
who guards the doorway to the enlightened realms.
His blessings are essential for good beginnings.”
• You can listen to it by searching the web.
0 Find a mantra that speaks to you.
• Practice soothing and positive self-talk
0 I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
0 I can do this.
0 Everything is always working out for me.
• Call one of the people in your support group to work
through it
• Don’t listen to naysayers, even if they are your family.

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 STEP TWO: OH S*%T!

OH S%*T
Write about what scares you about your plan.









REFLECTION
In this section, write ways that you will conquer these fears.












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TAKEAWAYS
• MISOGI REMORSE is natural—expect it along the way.
• You will get through this.
• Worry and let go.
• Adopt a mantra.
• Practice positive self-talk.
• Call or meet with someone from your support group.

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 CHAPTER THIRTEEN

STEP THREE: ACT

“Whatever you’re meant to do, do it now.
The conditions are always impossible.”
― Doris Lessing, Author, Nobel Prize in Literature
When in doubt, act.
― Unknown
Just do it.
— Nike slogan

E ASTERN PSYCHOLOGY (IN PARTICULAR JAPANESE, WHERE

MISOGI ORIGINATED FROM), SUPPORTS TAKING ACTION, yet
the philosophy differs from the way you and I may envision action.
While I am encouraging you to do your MISOGI now, because
you are ready, I wanted you to have another perspective of how
the action you are about to take can change you, and what to
pay attention to along the way.
The principles of Eastern action emphasize not attaching
oneself too closely with the actual action. Rather, to pay attention
to the process of deciding what your act will be and then, how
you set out to do it.
In the end, it’s how your character changes and
develops that is the most important factor.

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A MISOGI is not so much the actual big reach you choose,

it’s how you choose it, plan for it, do it, and then, how it
changes you.
In his book the Art of Taking Action: Lessons from Japanese
Psychology, author Gregg Krech claims that Mahatma Ghandi
might be one the best examples of someone who took clear and
specific action.
Gandhi encouraged and inspired people throughout the
world to pursue non-violent action as a way to effect change. It
almost seems counterproductive, as though passive, but to take
no action at all, is a choice of action.
Ghandi was a believer in action; he simply chose a path of
action quite unique to the world. The result?
Ghandi’s life-long MISOGI changed societies, such as
leading India to independence against British rule. He practiced
simplicity in all things including his dress and food which
increased the appeal of minimalism and vegetarianism around
the world.
Some would argue, that Ghandi had more of an effect on the
human race than anyone else in history.
Maybe doing nothing at all could be a MISOGI for you. Only
you know what it is.
Now go do it!
“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is
not enough; we must do.”
― Leonardo da Vinci

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 STEP THREE: ACT

ACT
Write about your actions before, during and after you do
your MISOGI.









REFLECTION
In this section, write about how you feel before and during
your MISOGI.











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TAKEAWAYS
• When in doubt, act.
• Just do it.
• Ghandi may have had more of an effect on the human
race through his MISOGIS than anyone else in history.
• Being willing is not enough, we must do.

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 POST MISOGI

• Now that you know yourself, you can love yourself completely.
• Your support group will likely become some of your best
friends in life.
• Your MISOGI should have been uncomfortable and
challenged you significantly.
• Almost completing a MISOGI is as good as completing one.
• Examples of other people’s MISOGIS can guide you.
• Moving beyond comfortable is transformational.
• You are now more aware of, and know how to overcome,
fear and change.
• While stress is normally negative, you know now how to
positively channel it.
• Meditation is a helpful tool throughout your MISOGI.
• You now have experienced the benefits of doing a MISOGI.

POST MISOGI
Take time to write about how you feel after doing your MISOGI.
What are the positive changes you see right away? Be specific.





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REFLECTION
In this section, write about how you feel one week and one
month after your MISOGI. Be specific.













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PART FIVE
NOW WHAT?

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 CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MAKING IT LAST

Y OUR LIFE HAS NO LIMIT. Doing a MISOGI proves that. Now

that you have achieved (or come close to achieving) the
imPOSSIBLE, you will see yourself and your world with new eyes.
You probably feel a rush, a high, a sense of endless possibility.
Your MISOGI has helped you get to this place. If you don’t feel
this, it wasn’t big enough…
This is your new comfort zone. Your new reality.
What you just accomplished is closely aligned with the 3-Act
Structure that the most successful stories since the beginning
of time have followed: These stories appear in timeless book, in
the awarding of Nobel Peace prizes, song winning Grammy’s and
movie awarded Oscars. It is the hero’s journey.
• You start out in your world.
• You are introduced (with your MISOGI) to a new world. A
new possibility.
• It is quite uncomfortable at first. Obstacles are thrown in
your way. You may quit. But you don’t.
• You get more comfortable with your emerging reality as
you go through the steps of your MISOGI.
• The OH S*%T phase happens.

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• You get through it and complete (or almost complete)

your MISOGI.
• You have changed—for the better—for good.
• You see the world differently as a result.
• You are able to re-enter your original world, but in a new
comfort zone.
• You will want to go through this journey again.
To prove my point, here are few examples of the process
from different vantage points.
The 3-Act Structure. Used in books, tv shows, poems, movies.

Diagram by German Director Philipp Trubiger

Think of your MISOGI as it relates to the 3-Act Structure. A

beginning, middle and end.
The movie franchise STAR WARS fits into this perfectly.
ACT I: The central character (Luke Skywalker) is comfortable
in his world in a desert community on some distant sci-fi planet.
He faces an impossible conflict, an insurmountable challenge. He
decides on his mission. His MISOGI.

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ACT II: He faces the challenge. There are struggles, frustrations,

obstacles and complications as he seeks to solve or complete the
challenge.
ACT III: This is the resolution phase. The challenge is solved.
The MISOGI is achieved.

CINDERELLA
ACT I: Cinderella has a wonderful life with her father. Her
mother died years ago. She is an only child. Her father decides
to marry again (a nasty woman who has two ugly and mean
daughters). The father dies suddenly.
ACT II: Cinderella is introduced into a new world that is lonely
and cruel. She is rejected by her step-mother and step-sisters.
Cinderella becomes their servant. How does she escape from
this horrible challenge? She starts to get used to it and makes
friends with the mice, a fairy godmother. She accidentally meets
the Prince, who is smitten, but she is embarrassed and hides
herself away. Eventually they meet again, but she never tells him
who she is. All the maidens in the kingdom are invited to a ball
where the Prince will choose his bride to be. Cinderella wants
badly to go but is locked away by her stepmother and daughters
out of jealousy. She feels failure.
ACT III: With the help of others (her tribe), Cinderella breaks
free, is outfitted with a beautiful gown and carriage and arrives
at the ball. She dances all night with the Prince but must leave
by midnight. She trips and leaves her shoe. While it seems like
all is lost, the Prince eventually finds her, and they marry. She is
a new person and can re-enter her old world, but from a much
better place.

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SONGS
The most widely used format for creating a hit song is
ABABCAB. What does this mean?
A = Verse
B = Chorus
C = Bridge.
A is the introduction to the world and the challenge.
B is the action that occurs during the challenge.
C is the climax or resolution.
Think of some of your favorite songs.
I’m a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. My favorite song is Born to
Run. Look at the lyrics below and see if you can apply the 3-ACT
Structure. You’ll easily identify the ABABCAB structure.
In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway
American dream
At night we ride through the mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway nine,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin’ out over the line
H-Oh, Baby this town rips the bones from your back
It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we’re young
`Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run
Yes, girl we were
Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs ‘round these velvet rims
And strap your hands ‘cross my engines

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Together we could break this trap

We’ll run till we drop, baby we’ll never go back
H-Oh, Will you walk with me out on the wire
`Cause baby I’m just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta know how it feels
I want to know if love is wild
Babe I want to know if love is real
Oh, can you show me
Beyond the Palace hemi-powered drones
scream down the boulevard
Girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors
And the boys try to look so hard
The amusement park rises bold and stark
Kids are huddled on the beach in a mist
I wanna die with you Wendy on the street tonight
In an everlasting kiss
One, two, three, four
The highway’s jammed with broken heroes
on a last chance power drive
Everybody’s out on the run tonight
But there’s no place left to hide
Together Wendy we can live with the sadness
I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul
H-Oh, Someday girl I don’t know when
We’re gonna get to that place
Where we really wanna go
And we’ll walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us
Baby we were born to run

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

Oh honey, tramps like us

Baby we were born to run
Come on with me, tramps like us
Baby we were born to run
Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen
Born to Run lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing, BMG Rights Management

BOOKS
In the bestselling novel, the Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret
Atwood, which has been turned into a movie and television
series, we see yet another example.
ACT I: The main character Offred, is a working Handmaid to
a Commander (she is fertile, the wife is not – her job is to have
their baby). She becomes close to him while at the same time
trying to find a way to accept her shameful role and battle with
the life she could have had based on past flashbacks.
ACT II: Offred becomes sexually involved (for pleasure) with
the Commander. She realizes that life is getting more difficult
and that she is in danger by diving deeper. She wants to get out.
She also starts having sexual relations with the family chauffeur
at the commandment of the Commander’s wife who suspects
that something might be up. Offred becomes pregnant with the
chauffer’s child.
ACT III: Offred goes to an execution where her friend Ofglen
(who is also resisting), is compromised. Ofglen disappears and kills
herself. Offred believes that she is in danger too. The wife has found
out about her relationship with the Commander. Men dressed as
officials come for Offred. The chauffeur tells her that they are with
the resistance. We never know what happens to Offred.
Note: Not all endings are happy endings.

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POEMS
My favorite poem of all time is The Road Not Taken by
Robert Frost.
I will label the ACT’s in this one.
ACT I
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

ACT II
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

ACT III
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Life imitates art…

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As you reflect on your MISOGI, see what obstacles came up

for you along the way and how you overcame them to emerge as
the new, more enlightened you.
And as you think about your next MISOGI (you probably
already are), start to consider that this structure may occur as
you go for it!

KEEP LEARNING
“I’M STILL LEARNING.” – MICHELANGELO
ALWAYS BE LEARNING. You are so much more aware now.
You are likely more curious too.
But how do you keep learning? Well, the obvious choice is to
go through the process again and decide your next MISOGI. You
will learn more about yourself each time while stepping into an
ever-expanding comfort zone.
Other ways that are additive to this process include reading
something new.
“It is what you read when you don’t have to that
determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”
― Oscar Wilde

Pick an area that has always interested you. Bill Gates reads
a lot of science and identifies himself as much with science as
business. Choose to read something you’ve always wanted to learn
about. If you don’t have time to read a full book, read abstracts,
summaries or listen to the audio version. Read periodicals,
magazines of all types, comics. Whatever interests you.

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Here is a list of my latest:

• Outside Magazine (tons of MISOGI examples)
• The New Yorker (cover to cover)
• Science Journal
• Thrive Global (disclosure: I also write for them)
• Get Abstract book summaries (bestselling business books)
• Books (paper and audio)
0 Give and Take by Adam Grant
0 GRIT by Angela Duckworth
0 A Brief History of Time by Steven Hawking
0 Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
0 A History of the World in 21 Women by Jenni Murray
0 Content Rules by Ann Handley
0 Small Fry by Lisa Brennan-Jobs
0 Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
0 The Man Nobody Knows by Bruce Barton
0 War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (currently listening)
0 The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
0 Circe by Madeline Miller
0 Essentialism by Greg McKeown
0 The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

Now why would I choose such a variety? These all interest me.
Leo Tolstoy and C.S. Lewis because they are classics. Madeline
Miller because the novel I am writing is a modern-day adaptation
of an ancient Greek fairytale. Adam Grant because I believe in
helping others with my non-fiction writing. Angela Duckworth
because I believe in determination. Brennan-Jobs and Walter
Isaacson because I have a family member who works for Apple
and I love that Jobs marched to his own drum. I identify with him.

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Steven Hawking because he was a brilliant theoretical physicist

and physics is my favorite science. And, because my high school
friend Lisa Bruce was a producer of an Oscar nominated film, The
Theory of Everything, which was about Steven Hawking’s life.
Eddie Redmayne, who played Steven in the film, won the Oscar
for best actor. The magazines because they tell all sorts of stories
including reviews of plays, books and restaurants.
What about you? What you been reading? What would
you like to read or listen to? If you want the positive effects
of your MISOGI to last (or to find your next one), read what
inspires you.
Here are some well-known people who are always learning.
Maybe one of them will inspire you to keep learning.
• Warren Buffet: Reads 500 pages every day.
• Mark Cuban: Reads for 3 hours a day.
• Bill Gates: 50 books a year.
• Elon Musk: learned how to build rockets by reading
• Tony Robbins: Read 700 books one year with the help of
a speed-reading course.
“Read, read, read.” — William Faulkner

STAY CONNECTED
• Join a like-minded group that could be part of your new
support tribe.
• Take an in-person class to learn something new.
• Join a group that is different than you.
• Learn a new activity.
0 I learned how to play Mahjong and Pickleball

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• Learn a new language.

0 Babbel is a great app for learning new languages.
 Bonjour, mon ami.
• Take an online class.
• I am a member of Masterclass and love it!

You don’t have to do what I do, but definitely carve out time
to keep learning. It’s amazing what you will discover.

MAKING IT LAST
Write about what you plan to do to maintain the positive
effects of your MISOGI.















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LEARNING
In this section, write what you plan to do to continue life
learning.
















TAKEAWAYS
• Your life has no limit.
• Consider how the 3-ACT structure can be applied to your
MISOGI.
• Always be learning.
• Read as often as you can.
• Stay connected.

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 CONCLUSION
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
– The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost

T HROUGHOUT HISTORY, INCLUDING THIS VERY DAY, WE HAVE

KNOWN OF AMAZING PEOPLE who have taken life by the
reigns in order to effect positive change. Change for themselves,
their loved ones, their communities, their nations…
Change often comes with purposeful disregard for doing what
is expected of us, and instead, carving our own path through the
woods.
MISOGIS retreat and reflect in order to understand themselves
better, to embrace the burning desires inside and to prepare for
a leap into the unknown, which they do, regardless of outcome.
Sometimes theirs, mine, and your MISOGI can come from
pain. Other times, suffering. And often, inspiration. But always,
always, a MISOGI is a big reach. Much bigger than you may have
ever thought possible.
Doing a MISOGI makes you…
Brave. Creative. Confident. Humble.

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You realize that nothing is impossible for you; rather, that

anything and everything is possible.
So, in closing, to you I say…
Go for it! Do a MISOGI. And watch how amazing your life can be!
“Go down roads that don’t lead anywhere immediately.”
— Malcolm Gladwell

EXERCISE
Compile all of your journal writings and go over them from
the beginning. This will validate you and the MISOGI you have
chosen. Keep this at hand to refer to along the way as you do your
MISOGI and read them again when you are done. Journal how
you feel that you have changed as a result of doing your MISOGI.
Reach out to me anytime along your journey. I’d love to hear
about your exciting adventure and transformation.
If you are interested in the accompaniment to this book, The
MISOGI Method Journal, please order it as a companion to this
book. It is available on Amazon.
My sincerest and deepest heartfelt wish for your success,
your happiness and your love of self, forevermore.
Jody B. Miller
“If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of
track that has been there all the while, waiting for you,
and the life that you ought to be living is the one you
are living. Wherever you are — if you are following your
bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within
you, all the time.” — Joseph Campbell

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SS Licensed photo

THE PROMISE
Remember the promise I made to you in the first sentence of
this book?
Now that you have done your MISOGI (or are on your way to
doing yours), I can tell you my secret.
I am going to tell you my next MISOGI. I haven’t told anyone.
My next MISOGI has to do with writing. There are two
because I believe in engaging both sides of my brain and will be
shifting between them every day until they are complete.
I will publish a series of books called the BIG little book of….
They will become as popular as the Chicken Soup for the Soul
series. I will complete the first 4 by the end of this year.
I will finish my novel Lock Bridge (current working title),
which will go on to become a bestseller and will be made into a
blockbuster movie that will win awards. Maybe Lisa will want to
produce it …
Sound crazy? ImPOSSIBLE? Then...it’s perfect.
And so is yours!
Congratulations!

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CONCLUSION
What have you learned from reading this book?










WHAT’S NEXT
In this section, brainstorm your next MISOGI.











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Brittni Hutton: Olympic Hopeful

Brittni Hutton

Jody B. Miller: Welcome to The Misogi Method. Breaking

through barriers to achieve meaning, success
and happiness in your work and life. I’m your
host Jody B. Miller. Our guests today are some
of the most inspirational people I personally
have ever met. Talk about perseverance.
Brittni Hutton is an elite runner who is working
her way to the 2020 Olympic Games that will
be held in Tokyo, Japan. And her coach and
fiancée Brandon Birdsong, who I believe may
have qualified in one event already. Welcome
to the show you two.

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Brittni Hutton: Thank you for having us.

Brandon Birdsong: Yes, hello. Thank you.
Jody B. Miller: We’re so glad you guys are here. Brittni,
you and I met if you recall when I was in the
cryotherapy tube at ...
Brittni Hutton: The cryotherapy sauna.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, something like that. It’s colder than an
ice bath in my opinion.
Brittni Hutton: Yes, it is very, very cold.
Jody B. Miller: And we can talk more about that when we
get to the recovery phase of your training.
And then Brandon, you and I are actually met
initially via a video that Brittni showed me of
you eating an organic cupcake that she made
and was saving for herself.
Brandon Birdsong: I remember that video.
Jody B. Miller: You were so hilarious. I was telling Brittni, oh
my gosh. He has such a great sense of humor.
So that was funny, and I’ve seen you several
times since. So Brittni, I’d love to start with
you. You have this amazing goal. This big
MISOGI to make it to the Olympics. Get one
of those three spots on the US Olympic team.
Which event are you leaning toward at this
point?
Brittni Hutton: I’m leaning towards the marathon. That’s
my goal to make it in the top three at the

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Olympic Trials in 2020. The city hasn’t been

announced yet, but the Olympic Trials will be
held in February.
Jody B. Miller: Awesome. I thought you had maybe never
run a marathon but then you ran one and
won it. Is that right?
Brittni Hutton: That’s correct. I have never done a road
marathon. My first marathon was actually on
the trails and I went out to race the half and
I was signed up for the full, but I was like I’m
just going to go for it if I feel good.
Brandon Birdsong: Let me back up a little bit.
Jody B. Miller: Okay go-ahead Brandon.
Brandon Birdsong: We got asked to work this expo the day before
and neither one of us had signed up for the
race.
Brittni Hutton: No.
Brandon Birdsong: We got talked into the race basically. Initially
one of our buddies had talked Brittni into
doing the half marathon. Then we were
chatting about it and there was a prize purse
in the marathon. And Brittni was like well why
don’t I just run the marathon? Well she did
with very minimal.
Brittni Hutton: Yeah, very minimal training. I was coming
off of my first ever stress fractures and I just
decided to go for it and I’m really happy I did.

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Jody B. Miller: That’s amazing. That must have given you so

much confidence. I mean obviously you had
been doing some training, but to train for a
marathon is a pretty monumental experience.
Brittni Hutton: It is. I have really enjoyed finally training for
the marathon. I can feel the fitness coming
along in a different way. It’s really exciting. I
can’t wait to show off my hard work.
Jody B. Miller: That’s going to be so awesome. I’m so excited
for you. So how does it go with the qualifying
rounds? What happens during those?
Brittni Hutton: What you need to do is… athletes will race a
USATF, which stands for the United States of
American Track and Field. So, a certified course
that’s USATF certified or an IAAF which is the
International Athletes Association Federation
I believe. So, the course has to be certified.
Jody B. Miller: And are certain races that you know that
you’re planning to run in order to qualify?
During a certain period of time?
Brittni Hutton: Yes. It’s kind of complicated but I’ll try to
explain it the best I can. There’s like a two-year
window that you have where you can qualify
for the Olympic Trials, in the marathon. And
it’s different for the track. It opens up later on
down the road. So that opportunity to qualify
started last September. And I’m aiming to
qualify in Grandma’s Marathon which is held
in Duluth, Minnesota.

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Jody B. Miller: Oh wow.

Brittni Hutton: I have to run faster than two hours and 45
minutes to qualify for the Olympic Trials.
Jody B. Miller: Now is that an age-based time or is that just
the time regardless of age?
Brittni Hutton: Regardless of age, it’s just the time. That’s all
you have to get. And there are two standards.
2:45 flat is the ‘b’ standard and the ‘a’
standard is two hours and 37 minutes.
Jody B. Miller: I want you to know, I’m very proud of this but
now I’m maybe not so proud after I heard
2:45. I qualified for the Boston Marathon
years ago, but I ran it in 3:54. No. No. I’m
sorry. 3:36. That’s what it was. 3:36.
Brandon Birdsong: That’s awesome.
Brittni Hutton: That is awesome. That takes a lot of hard work.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah but I never ran it because it was ... it
full and then the year after was the bombing
actually.
Brittni Hutton: Oh my gosh.
Jody B. Miller: So, I opted not to run it because I wasn’t as
fast anymore. That’s like well over an hour
slower than you. I mean you are fast. I’ve
seen you run. You are absolutely amazing.
Brittni Hutton: Thank you.
Jody B. Miller: And Brandon, now didn’t you qualify as well?

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Brandon Birdsong: I didn’t. No. I ran in the 2016 Olympic Trials

which is where I proposed to Brittni.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, I want to hear that story.
Brandon Birdsong: Which part?
Jody B. Miller: Well, all of it.
Brandon Birdsong: Okay. So, I’ll tell a fast-forward version of it.
I qualified in 2014. In Houston, I ran my first
half marathon as my debut. I ran 1:04:21.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Brandon Birdsong: In a pretty big blow up. I actually struggled the
last couple kilometers, but it was bittersweet.
I qualified. Then a couple months later I had
a nagging injury that turned into a real bad
fracture, that I had to have surgery on, and so
late 2014 I had a foot surgery and I basically
had 14 months to prepare for the Olympic
Trials. Which really turned into about six
months, maybe five after healing. It was kind
of like a cram session of training and trying
to get into this massive block in order to get
ready for the trials.
Brandon Birdsong: I think my coach and I, we got a bit greedy.
Probably six weeks before the trials, I was
very fit. Probably 213 shape. We decided
we were just going to push it a bit. We were
doing high volume and high quality which
you really don’t want to combine. It’s quality
or quantity and we were kind of just going for

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it. Because it’s harder to over train when you

have a shorter period of time. You can almost
kind of risk it a bit more.
Brandon Birdsong: But I was flirting with injury and I ended up
having some knee issues where my patella,
I had bad patella tendonitis and it turned
into a bad knee bruise, a bone bruise, which
I kind of didn’t know I had, but I ran on the
underwater treadmill for the weeks leading
up the trials. With the plan of just proposing
to Brittni at the end.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, that’s so wonderful.
Brandon Birdsong: Going into it, it was one of those things where
I knew it was going to be a rough day. Just
because of the last six weeks of my training.
It was a rough day for many reasons. It was
an all-time high for the day. I think the tarmac
was at like 90 plus.
Brittni Hutton: In LA.
Brandon Birdsong: On asphalt.
Jody B. Miller: Wow, that’s hot.
Brittni Hutton: It was record breaking hot weather for LA.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah.
Brandon Birdsong: Half the field dropped out and man, I’ll tell
you what, at probably 14 miles I was ready
to drop. I was suffering. But I had a bigger
purpose, you know. I knew what I had to do

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to get to the finish line. I did. I mean I gave

it everything I had. I didn’t run fast. I mean I
made it to the finish line. That was the goal.
Jody B. Miller: That’s huge. That’s huge.
Brandon Birdsong: I got down on one knee, you know, I let Brittni
know that she was the reason that I was able
to get to the finish line. I proposed and went
straight to the medical tent and then I got
rushed to the ER pretty soon after.
Jody B. Miller: When did you celebrate?
Brandon Birdsong: We celebrated that night. I got out of the
hospital and I was like let’s do this. I was on
all the IV fluid. I think I had close to four liters
of IV fluid.
Jody B. Miller: Wow. That’s a beautiful, beautiful story. Is
there a wedding date yet?
Brittni Hutton: We don’t have a wedding date yet.
Jody B. Miller: You are very focused now towards the next
goal. Your next misogi.
Brittni Hutton: It’s true. We’re very selfish in the fact that we
care so much about our sport and ourselves
and making sure our dreams come true. We
push those things to the side and that’s fine
with us. We enjoy living our dreams together
and that’s one reason I think we fell in love
because we aspire and want to achieve all
these great things together, individually as
well. And now we’re part of each other’s story.

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Jody B. Miller: It’s so hard to find that in a relationship. I

mean to have that cohesiveness, not only
with the love, but with your interests and
not have one person outweigh the other
one or sacrifice for the other one. That’s
really beautiful. So Brittni, what inspired you
to really start going for these amazing ... to
me they are Misogis because there is such a
huge chance of failure, but yet again, a huge
chance of success too.
Jody B. Miller: Exactly. And, was there one thing you could
point to that really gave you that drive that
keeps you going?
Brittni Hutton: I’ve always been someone that even when I
was a kid, I never thought about quitting or
stopping. I’ve always been very driven and
very motivated. And I don’t know where that
came from. It’s in my gut. I think having my
sister pass away at such a young age, really
did it for me. Sorry, I’m trying to find the right
words. When my sister passed away, I wrote
a note to her promising her that I would be
an Olympian and promising her that, and this
was for basketball initially.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, my goodness. And then you just switched
sports. Amazing.
Brittni Hutton: Yeah. And, I gave her my very first MVP award.
She still has it with her in her grave today.

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Jody B. Miller: That’s beautiful Brittni. And was that a car

accident that happened with your sister?
Brittni Hutton: Yes. She was thrown from her vehicle and
then hit by oncoming traffic.
Jody B. Miller: I’m so sorry about that.
Brittni Hutton: Yeah. It was a beautiful winter day in Michigan.
Michigan is known for just having gorgeous
winter storms and just that day though, her
car just couldn’t handle it. But I think, I don’t
ever second guess my decisions for, being so
determined to have this mission or this goal.
I love what running brings to me. I love the
community it has. I love where I get to go and
what I get to see running. It brought me all
the way out here to California, you know?
Jody B. Miller: Well I’m so happy about that.
Brittni Hutton: Me too. It led me to the man of my dreams,
and I can’t wait to see what other adventures
we’re going to go on together. Just to keep
running.
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome. So how do you answer
people that are naysayers or doubters? Who
try to give you input that isn’t favorable?
Brittni Hutton: You know why listen? It’s not worth it. I don’t
... people of course are going to say things
and maybe that’s because in their own lives,
they are not able to grasp the good things
that they do have, so they try to take down

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others. That’s really sad and I hope that they

find a kinder way and figure things out for
themselves. I can only wish the best for them.
Jody B. Miller: I love that attitude. I am a big believer in
surrounding yourself only with positive
people in your tribe.
Brittni Hutton: Absolutely.
Jody B. Miller: And letting the rest go and just seeing you and
Brandon together, I just get such a beautiful
positive vibe whenever I see either of you
individually or together. I can tell that that’s
your attitude. And Brandon, so you I think ...
are you coaching Brittni now?
Brandon Birdsong: I am. Yes.
Jody B. Miller: How did that come about?
Brandon Birdsong: After we moved to Santa Barbara, her
coaching situation just wasn’t working out.
I mean from Wooly Mammoth and trying to
get back week after week and just not having
the ability to do that, it just wasn’t good fit
for either the athlete or the coach. And, you
know, I know Brittni really well. I’ve watched
her train the last five years of her life.
Jody B. Miller: And you’re also very accomplished. You
understand the sports. You understand the
quest for the Olympics. So, you can also do
this from personal experience.

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Brandon Birdsong: Yeah, I’m very passionate about coaching.

With that being said, I’ve always been very
nervous to coach Brittni because I didn’t
want our relationship to suffer and that
communication has to be there, because the
relationship can suffer but it’s not. We have a
great coach athlete and we also have a great
significant other relationship outside of it.
Jody B. Miller: Which is so awesome. I know, we don’t need
to go into this, but I know that you had an
unfortunate accident and so how are you
healing from that?
Brandon Birdsong: Yeah, you know, I’m healing slowly. It’s been
almost a year, you know, it’s been hard. It’s
been hard for me, but it’s been very difficult
for Brittni to have to sit on the side lines. I am
very fortunate to have such a powerful strong
human being that’s helped me through this.
Brittni Hutton: We’re very fortunate to have each other.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, I think you guys are beautiful. So, let’s
move over to the actual training. I love
how you said you have a great relationship,
Brandon, as a coach athlete as well as
obviously your personal relationship which I
have seen and attest to how close you guys
are. What sort of training do you undergo
Brittni, or does Brandon tell you that you
have to do, or you guys decide together that
you have to do? Is there a certain number of

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days you run and then after that what is your

recovery from that?
Brandon Birdsong: It’s a period of training. Basically, we set out
a goal which is Grandma’s Marathon and you
work backwards from that race. It’s usually ...
Brittni is running 80 to 100 miles a week with a
couple workouts, very high-quality workouts.
It’s all about adaptation to marathon pace.
You start out with lower volume of quality
and then you just increase that quality over
an extended volume that way she can handle
marathon pace for the entire marathon.
Jody B. Miller: Does it help to a, cross train, and b, train in
thinner air?
Brandon Birdsong: Yes. Yes, to both. Cross training, it allows you
to recover while getting that aerobic benefit.
It keeps you healthy. We try to incorporate
cross training whether it’s aqua jogging or
spinning on the bike, with her running to
reduce the risk of injury. You are already doing
the volume it takes to be at that level. You’re
at a very high risk of injury, so you don’t want
to add any sort of fuel to that fire.
Brittni Hutton: It’s not the easiest thing too with a full-time
job. I give the woman who came in second
at Boston, I give her so much credit. She did
it working a full-time job and got second in
Boston. She gives me motivation, to keep on
cross training even though I’m exhausted.

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Brandon Birdsong: That’s what’s hard for me because my job

is to balance Brittney’s stressors and life. Or
not in life, but just running and she has all
these other stressors because of her job. The
amount of sleep that she’s getting. You can’t
always do exactly what you want to train to
get to that goal. You have to ... every week we
have to take a step back and reevaluate what
we’re going to do because there’s additional
stressors that wouldn’t be there if Brittni was
training or just training which is kind of the
goal for the next year is to get in that situation
where she is just training.
Jody B. Miller: And will that be a combination, I think that
sounds awesome, especially as you get closer
to that qualifying marathon. Will that training
include some time in the mountains?
Brandon Birdsong: It definitely would. As you know, Brittni
and I recently bought a sprinter that we’re
converting, and we plan to spend a lot of
time at elevation because you know that
adaptation to running quick at elevation and
increasing the red blood cell count.
Jody B. Miller: I didn’t know that. It increased the blood cell
count as well, the red blood cell count?
Brandon Birdsong: It increases your red blood cell count which
then increases your homochromatic so you’re
able to deliver oxygen to your muscles at a
more rapid rate.

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Brittni Hutton: Yup.

Jody B. Miller: Oh, that’s awesome. It sounds like if you go
to a full time training schedule, sleep will be a
big part of that as well.
Brittni Hutton: Oh yeah. I love naps.
Jody B. Miller: What about ... in terms of the recovery, well
first before I ask you that, how many pairs of
running shoes do you have?
Brittni Hutton: I have 10.
Jody B. Miller: Wow. And are they for different terrains and
do they wear out so fast you’ve got to put on
the next?
Brittni Hutton: Well I’ve been lucky enough; Brandon and I
both actually have been super lucky enough
because we don’t have a sponsor, but we
work for a company that sends us trainers to
test. So, we’re product testers. We’re able to
have shoes to rotate with. Different ones like
Brooks and Nike and New Balance and ....
Brandon Birdsong: And we give feedback on the shoes and we
write articles about them, our thoughts on
the shoes.
Brittni Hutton: Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: Oh awesome.
Brittni Hutton: So that’s been a huge, huge help with our
training, my training and Brandon’s cross
training and PT. And yeah, every shoe has a

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different purpose. I have my flats, I have my

spikes, trail shoes, my marathon just trainers.
Jody B. Miller: Wow. That leads me to ask: can you have a
sponsor if you’re in the Olympics?
Brittni Hutton: Absolutely. Oh yeah. So, when you qualify
for the Olympics, whoever sponsors the
Olympics committee, that’s who ... which is
Nike at the time, at this moment, that’s who
is going to sponsor you for the Olympics.
Brandon Birdsong: But you can’t wear a Nike logo on your jersey,
which is the USA jersey, but you can wear
whatever brand you’re sponsored by as far as
your shoes. You would wear that on your feet.
Brittni Hutton: Correct.
Brandon Birdsong: But going into the trials, you would wear your
brand’s logo on your jersey and represent
that company.
Jody B. Miller: OK. Very cool. That makes me think of a
couple other things in terms of the actual
event. Let’s talk about ideals. Is there an ideal
weight that you feel like you run the best at?
You don’t have to tell me what that is.
Brittni Hutton: Oh, I don’t mind. I am very open about that.
I want people to know, there’s no perfect
number. There is no perfect anything. It’s
how you feel. I’m 5’7” and I feel my fastest
and fittest when I weigh 127 pounds.
Jody B. Miller: 127. Sounds light.

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Brittni Hutton: And I weigh 133 right now. Maybe it varies

between 133 and 130. Depending on how
much water I’ve had.
Jody B. Miller: Wait a minute. Water makes you gain weight?
Brittni Hutton: I mean you want to stay hydrated.
Jody B. Miller: I know. I know. I’m teasing.
Brittni Hutton: But yeah, I don’t like to say, oh I have to be this
or that. Like, I mean I’ve raced some incredible
PR’s or some incredible races actually weighing
heavier than ever before. When I raced that
trail marathon, I weighed close to 145 pounds.
Jody B. Miller: Wow. So that’s a lot of fuel you’re probably
relying on.
Brittni Hutton: It’s a lot. And that’s the thing, I’m learning
now with marathon training, is when do I
take that fuel and how much of it do I take?
It’s been a fun little game.
Jody B. Miller: You’re probably playing with that too,
right? I mean is it goo? There are so many
supplements you can take. I guess you guys
are trying to figure at mile X, this works better
for me, and at mile Y…
Brittni Hutton: Right. And everybody is different.
Jody B. Miller: I get that. The other thing I was curious
about was (and I know our listeners would be
curious about this too) but this whole testing
phenomenon that’s going on in all sports now.
Brittni Hutton: Oh yeah.

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Jody B. Miller: What will you go through and I’m not going
to say if, I’m going to say when you make the
Olympic team, what will you go through in
terms of testing?
Brittni Hutton: Just regular old drug testing. So just take a
urine sample and see if you have any drugs
that are illegal. There’s a huge list from the
world anti-doping agency and that’s pretty
much it. I believe they test your blood as well.
Brandon Birdsong: Yeah, it’s pretty much anything from caffeine
to like the ...
Brittni Hutton: The bad stuff.
Brandon Birdsong: Testosterone, UPO. Anything like that. It’s a
wide range.
Jody B. Miller: I would think taking your blood would make
you a little weaker?
Brittni Hutton: Oh, they would do it after. They don’t do it
before a race...
Jody B. Miller: Okay, that’s good. So, you’re well up to speed
on that too. Is there a main competitor, you
don’t have to say who it is, that you’re sort of
chasing?
Brittni Hutton: There really isn’t. I would actually look at,
my competitors, girls, anyone or I should
say women who are faster than me, I really
actually admire, and I aspire to be as fast as
them and one day kick their butts.
Jody B. Miller: Of course.

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Brittni Hutton: I am very lucky though. I’ve been able to train

with some of the best of the best in the country
and I can’t wait to be back in that atmosphere
and be back with that kind of team and
attitude. I know Brandon and I both are going
to thrive in that environment. We miss it.
Jody B. Miller: Well it sounds like you guys have made the
perfect match, not only together, with your
relationship but as the coach and athlete
too. Brittni, what advice would you have for
young girls, I mean here you were a young
girl wanting to be an Olympic basketball
player and now you’re going to be an Olympic
marathoner and I’m going to really be rooting
for you to get on that team. What is your
advice for young girls who are having these
dreams? What can you tell them to keep them
right up there with you?
Brittni Hutton: My advice to ladies out there, young girls,
is to keep on reaching for you want. Reach
for what you believe in. It can be anything.
It doesn’t have to be a sport. It can be your
education. It can be your art. Your culture.
Whatever makes you wake up out of bed
and feel inspired and motivated. I cannot
stress this enough and just go for it. Believe
in yourself. Don’t listen to what doubters
say because they are not you. They are not
in your shoes. They don’t know what you’re

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going through and only you can make the

decision to pursue and to persevere and I
know you can. I believe in you. You matter
and your dreams matter. Make them count.
Jody B. Miller: I love that. I love that. That’s going to be so
inspirational. And then one other aspect
of being a woman, a young girl, they grow
up in the society of you know beautiful
expectations. How do you feel in terms of
body image? Can you give some young girls a
bit of advice in that category as well?
Brittni Hutton: Absolutely. I have dealt with that. I was a
victim of that for a little while, being bulimic
and anorexic and I am very happy I got over
those mountains. Now the best thing I can
say to do is to communicate with your friends
and your family and communicate with
someone, anyone, and don’t let those things
defy you. Like I said, I’m not perfect.
Brandon Birdsong: And Jody, I want to stress, you know as
runners, there’s this ideal. Most runners are
100 to 110 pounds that are women, so we get
these ideas that we have to look just like them
if we’re going to run fast. It’s not the case. We
are all built different and it’s all about finding
your own efficiency.
Brittni Hutton: Exactly.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I totally agree with you. The whole-
body image thing just bothers me so much.

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And I have a daughter and I’m always telling

her, you’re perfect exactly how you are.
Brittni Hutton: Right. Absolutely.
Jody B. Miller: And so, you two are perfect in my book too.
And I want you to promise to come back on
the show after you bring home that medal.
Brittni Hutton: Yes. I’d love to. Absolutely.
Jody B. Miller: Okay, well best of luck. I’m going to keep in
touch with you guys and keep track of you
and blog about you and I’m just so, so excited
for you and the sprinter idea sounds really
cool. Because you can just train wherever the
wind takes you.
Brandon Birdsong: Exactly.
Brittni Hutton: We’re so excited.
Jody B. Miller: I love it. Well thank you for being on the
show and thank everyone for being here and
listening to Brittni and Brandon, two of the
most inspirational people and again good
luck you guys and I can’t wait to hear about
your successes.
Brittni Hutton: Thank you so much.
Brandon Birdsong: Yes, thank you.
Jody B. Miller: Thank you all for being here and listening
to the Misogi Method. I’m your host Jody B.
Miller. And we’ll see you next time.
Keep your eye out for Brittni in the 2020 Olympic Games!

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Brian Clark: Founder, and CEO of RAINMAKER DIGITAL, Founder

of COPYBLOGGER, Host of UNEMPLOYABLE, Curator of FURTHER.

Brian Clark

Announcer: Welcome to the MISOGI METHOD with

happiness expert, Jody B. Miller. Each week
Jody interviews amazing people who have
broken through huge barriers to achieve
meaning, success, and happiness in their
lives. For each of us, the path to lasting
happiness has always been there, but it may
take MISOGI to get you on it. Here’s your
host, Jody B. Miller.
Jody B. Miller: Welcome to the MISOGI METHOD, breaking
through barriers to achieve meaning, success
and happiness that lasts. I’m your host, Jody
B. Miller. Today’s guest is an inspiration not
only to me as an entrepreneur at heart, but I
believe will also be for all of our listeners who
are seeking to redefine the possible in their
lives. A very warm welcome to Brian Clark
who’s the founder and CEO of Rainmaker

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Digital, founder of Copyblogger, host of the top

ranked podcast, Unemployable and curator of
Further. Brian, welcome to the show.
Brian Clark: Thank you, Jody, it’s great to be here.
Jody B. Miller: Okay, so you’ve done a lot in your career so far.
Much, if not all of it came directly from you.
Brian Clark: Well, I guess because I put myself in that
position, that seems to be true.
Jody B. Miller: It’s really impressive. But it’s so interesting
to see how people start out. You went to
undergrad, Texas A&M, then you went to law
school. Now, I’m going to say you probably
practice law for a while.
Brian Clark: I practice law in the big law firm environment
for about four years. I quickly figured out two
things, I think. I hated practicing law and I
hated working for other people, which is not
a good situation for staying in a big law firm.
Jody B. Miller: Definitely not.
Brian Clark: After four years I left, and then I continued
to practice law once I started getting into
publishing online in 1998. I had this first
business I started, it’s the only business I’ve
ever had that failed. I was quickly running
out of money, and I figured out in ‘99, I read
a book by Seth Godin called Permission
Marketing. That was it for me, that was the
light bulb. He basically said, the internet is a

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different form of direct marketing medium,

but you don’t buy lists, you build audiences
by providing value, and then you sell stuff.
That was the big takeaway, because I was
trying to do advertising like everyone else at
that time. I was like, “Oh, okay, what do I have
to sell? Really, all I had was a law degree so
I could sell legal services. That just took off.
If you know anything about young attorneys,
they’re not the ones, the rainmakers, now you
know where the company name came from,
that bring in the business, so they therefore
have to rely on the partners and do the work
in order to justify their salaries. But if you
start bringing business in, then your stature
in the firm rises.
Brian Clark: Well, if you’re a solo attorney, you of course,
have to eat what you kill as they put it.
Jody B. Miller: Well, you know Brian, you sound exactly like
my past life as an investment banker. It’s the
rainmakers that make the difference. And
there’s a lot of eat, what you kill.
Brian Clark: That’s right. That’s how you know Brad Feld,
by the way, I’m in Boulder. So, I saw that
he wrote the forward to your book. He is
definitely a rainmaker.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, he is. I was going to ask you if you knew
Brad. I met Brad when I was at Media Tech
Banker, and he was with SoftBank. We really

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hit it off because we had similar backgrounds.

When I wrote the book, I just called him
up. I said, “Hey, Brad, would you write the
forward?” He goes, “You bet.”
Brian Clark: He is a really good guy.
Jody B. Miller: A really good guy. I like to just really have a
great conversation about who you are as a
person, Brian. A lot of our listeners are going
to want to know how you started Copyblogger.
But I want to know more why. Why did you
leave law? Is it because you just hated law or
is it because there was something else calling
you?
Brian Clark: At the time, I thought it was just a dislike
for the practice of law. The odd thing about
it was, not to blow my own horn but I was
good at it. My wife who remains an attorney
always said I was one of the best attorneys
she knew when she met me. But if you don’t
enjoy it, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Brian Clark: But then after I took some time away, I took
some time to reflect back on it, I really I had
no entrepreneurial impulses whatsoever until
the day I decided to quit and start a business.
That was really driven more by the internet,
which was in a commercial place for about
only four years. I was just so fascinated by it,
and it just seemed like there had to be a way
to make a living reaching all these people.

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That was married to my desire to write, which

as you know every frustrated attorney wants
to be a writer.
Jody B. Miller: Right. So true.
Brian Clark: But again, I had this ... I don’t know, I guess
I have a problem with authority or asking
permission. If I can do something without
asking anyone, I’m happy at that point. The
idea of New York publishing or Hollywood
screenplays again, you basically have to get
someone else to say you’re doing something
good in order to make a living instead of just
going direct to the end person and having
them vote with their dollars. To me that just
was attractive. I later realized, and I’ve said
this several times that I thought I wanted to
be a writer, which made me an entrepreneur
and then I realized once I got into it, I was
an entrepreneur who could write. That just
wasn’t a realization I ever had beforehand.
Jody B. Miller: Well, let me ask you, when I just did my TEDx
Talk, and I want to talk to you about public
speaking down the road too. I don’t want
to forget about that. I ask people to go back
to their childhood to think about something
they loved, that maybe they just forgot about
or something they somehow came into their
life in terms of their career. Is there anything
in your childhood that you did or involved

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with or played or whatever that came into

being as you started your entrepreneurial
path?
Brian Clark: Man, this is about to open a whole can of
worms. This is something else it took me about
40 years to realize. I was adopted at birth.
Basically, my birth parents who I’ve never
looked up and really don’t have a desire to-
Jody B. Miller: Kind of like Steve Jobs.
Brian Clark: Yeah, that’s interesting. I think Steve Jobs
had emotional issues that drove him. Some
would say that all entrepreneurs or driven
people have something in their childhood
that they’re trying to compensate for. I’ve
actually explored this topic on my podcast a
couple of times. I was put up for adoption.
They were in California in 1967. Thank God
they were Catholic, because no birth control
and no abortion, thank you.
Jody B. Miller: Well, we’re all grateful for that.
Brian Clark: So, I made it into the world and then I was
adopted by my mom. While I didn’t have any
recollection at the time, but it was her first
husband and her who adopted me. And then
he quickly left after that, which was a good
thing because he was not a good person. But
when I was six, that was the first time my
mom told me I was adopted. And worse-

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Jody B. Miller: That’s early. That’s actually early. It must have

been very close.
Brian Clark: Looking back now, I wish you would have
told me earlier because the reason she told
me was because you’re getting on a plane
by yourself to fly to California to see your
“dad”, her first husband. That was traumatic.
I still have that, getting dressed to go to the
airport, I was just crying uncontrollably. I
don’t remember much from when I was
really young, but I remember that. That was a
horrible experience. I hated him. I don’t think
he liked me very much.
Brian Clark: I think that had a really big impression on me.
A year later, my mom remarried and that’s
who I call dad. He is amazing. It all worked
out. But you know, childhood is a funny thing,
and it took me till the age of 40 to realize that
I had abandonment issues. You’re given up at
birth, then your first “dad” leaves.
Brian Clark: This has fueled me as an entrepreneur in two
ways. Number one, this is where my attitude
comes from. I’ll push you away before you
can reject me, or at least I used to. That’s
where I think my very independent streak
comes from. On the other side of the coin,
I’m a people pleaser. You grow up just trying
to make sure that no one ditches you again.
Jody B. Miller: Exactly.

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Brian Clark: I’m this fiercely independent giver. Its worked

for me because it allows me to be bold as an
entrepreneur and to stand out and do things
differently and hold my own ground, which
is invaluable and you can’t really teach it I
don’t think. And yet, I’m always trying to put
whether it be the audience, business partners,
customers, what have you, trying to think of
their interest first. I think that’s a very simple
golden rule of business, which is what’s in it
for the other person? Figure that out and then
you can get what you want in return. There’s
your long answer to that simple question.
Jody B. Miller: I’m very driven as well. I grew up without a
lot of money, with five kids-
Brian Clark: There was that too. I didn’t even get to that
part.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah. Five kids, three bedroom house, one
bathroom. I remember one time that my
sister was in the bathroom, and I had to
go. So I banged the door and I bent a lock,
and she couldn’t get out. All those crazy
memories. But it does help drive you because
I don’t think any of us come from lack when
we’re born. It’s our birthright to be happy
and to have all we want, but sometimes
these experiences that we’re put into and our
environment to change our perspective. It’s
great you’ve been able to work through that-

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Brian Clark: The key is that as soon as you have enough

degree of self-awareness or just a desire to
figure out why you are the way you are, and
then you’re like, oh, okay, I can accept this.
That’s when you start healing, I guess, for lack
of a better term. When you do start seeing
yourself exhibit this behavior that you’ve had
your entire life that has helped and harmed
you depending on the context, then you can
stop doing it. I think only when people don’t
examine their own lives that they just go the
whole time being in the dark and miserable.
Jody B. Miller: I love that sort of recklessness that you’re
saying, and probably curiosity and the fact
that you’re independent but a giver too. It’s
so much of a MISOGI METHOD type attitude
where you just go for those big reaches. Let’s
talk about Copyblogger. You read this book
by Seth Godin, you start to think about the
internet, you think about what you can offer
and then this Copyblogger idea comes about.
How did that start to jail for you?
Brian Clark: Well, really ‘99 was when I started figuring
out, and then I started publishing an online
newsletter for my little law practice. I was
getting more potential clients than I could
handle. It was just amazing to me. That was
a light bulb moment. Then I started thinking
about, this is a little chip on the shoulder

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thing. It’s like, okay, I need to start a business

that’s not law to be a real entrepreneur. I
decided on real estate, a brokerage, because
partly because of what I was seeing the way
real estate was being marketed online. This
was when the MLS was first allowed in the
internet. I was actually living in Dallas at the
time, and they were one of the first realtor
associations to allow that.
Brian Clark: When I figured that out, and of course
commissions you can make a lot of money
in real estate obviously. My legal background
enhanced my credibility, but I didn’t have to
rely on it. It just all came together. But mainly
was, I understood online marketing and no
one else in real estate got it. I always like to
say they didn’t have any idea what they were
doing back then. It was like shooting fish in
a barrel. Fast forward 17 years and they still
largely don’t know what they’re doing. I don’t
understand the real estate industry.
Jody B. Miller: It’s just amazing.
Brian Clark: I heard people saying it’s going to take you
four years to get off the ground. It took three
months. It was amazing, because again, if
you can bring in business, that’s more than
half the battle. My problem was that I was
not good at everything else. I was good with
people, but once I started bringing in other

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realtors to handle the showings and all that

kind of stuff, I wasn’t very good at managing
people, I just expected them to know what
to do like I did. See, that’s just terrible right
there.
Jody B. Miller: I was going to ask you, what kind of a manager
you are-
Brian Clark: Oh, terrible. But at the same time, I would
never let a client suffer. So, I would just work
too hard, I would just work, work, work. By
that time I had gotten married, and had a
three year old daughter and then a son on
the way. All of a sudden I found myself, well, I
work for myself, I own my own company, and
I’m still not happy.
Brian Clark: At that point, I just decided I don’t want to
have a client based business. I need to figure
out a way to get other people to do the things
that I’m not good at. I specifically didn’t want
to be constrained by geography. I wanted to
be what they now call, location independent,
even though I didn’t take advantage of that
for quite a while, but it’s nice to have the
option anyway.
Brian Clark: What I’ve been doing from ‘99 to 2005 is
now called content marketing. Didn’t have a
name back then. It wasn’t a thing. It wasn’t an
industry. There was blogging and there was
SEO and social media wasn’t ready yet. Do you

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remember back before Facebook and Twitter,

social media was blogs. That’s what it was.
Jody B. Miller: In fact, if I could even take you back further,
after I worked at CBS, I started a software
company. It was basically the eBay of air time.
So, selling your time because my assistant
had this box on her desk. I go, “What are you
doing?” She goes, “I’m sending the orders
over the phone lines.” I’m like, “What?” That
got me thinking about this eBay. But it was
two years too early, and then the internet
wasn’t quite to where you are, because I’m
a couple years older than you. Reuters ended
up doing my exact business two years later.
Sometimes its timing, right?
Brian Clark: Well, in the ‘90s, a lot of it was timing. Of
course, we had to experience the dot com
implosion with all those horrendous business
models. I wasn’t very sophisticated in business
at that time. I was a liberal arts major, and
went to law school. But even I was looking at
this going, I don’t think this makes sense.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah. How are all these people going to make
money?
Brian Clark: Exactly. Then we found out, they’re not.
Jody B. Miller: Exactly. With the Copyblogger, you were
doing the real estate and then realized
content marketing became this new-

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Brian Clark: Well, it wasn’t yet. It didn’t have a name

still. But blogging was becoming commercial.
Blogging had been very kum ba yah I think
all things on the internet start off in a very
pure state and then money rears its ugly
head. But at that time there were these new
sites Problogger by my friend Darren Rouse.
There was another site that was dedicated
to blogging, one of the guys there was Chris
Garrett, who now works for us. I was looking
at, they were giving basically, it’s writing
advice in the context of technology, but
they were making the same mistakes I was
making in 1998, which was it was all about
advertising, which requires just massive
amounts of traffic.
Brian Clark: As the years have gone on, the average online
advertising industry has gotten worse. Almost
everyone recognizes now that it’s a horrible
way to monetize online content.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I agree. I was going to ask you because
my investment banking career that next
career, how was he monetizing this? Because
it’s like pennies on a dollar. It’s like trading
shares of stock, being an institutional sales
guy. It’s you can’t really maximize that or
monetize that.
Brian Clark: Yeah, there’s a lot of figuring things out.
The problem with the internet at first

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was everyone was exporting or basically

introducing offline concepts online. Again,
that was where everyone went wrong and
had to figure out, hey this is a unique medium.
We have to think differently about it.
Brian Clark: Anyway, I see that no one ... Also, I had taught
myself copywriting over the course of several
years because when you’re doing business
online, even with a client based model,
you have to persuade people to contact
you, that you’re the right choice. Anyway,
put all those things together and I came up
with the idea for a blogging concept that it
wasn’t really competitive with the other
sites, it was complimentary. We talk about
writing, but I would, two things introduce
the idea that some copywriting principles
should be applied to content to make it more
engaging. Like headlines and storytelling and
the way you open an article, all these things
have an effect. That was one thing that set
Copyblogger apart, that’s the copy part. And
then the other thing was a little more, believe
it or not, controversial at the time, you should
not sell advertising you should sell stuff.
Brian Clark: Some of the old products and services and
some of the old guard bloggers at that time
lost their mind. But what they didn’t realize ...
There were some people who just took me to

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task saying I didn’t get it and this is not what

blogging is about. But there was this discipline
called business blogging, it was emerging. The
guys that criticized me, they did link to me and
their audience said, “No, I want to hear what
he has to say.” And Copyblogger just took off.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Brian Clark: That was the beginning of it. Didn’t have a
product or service in mind. My basic plan
was build an audience, pay attention to the
frustrations, the problems the desires that
they express, and then you’ll know what
products to develop.
Jody B. Miller: What do you have for sale? Are they courses?
Brian Clark: The first product in 2007 was yeah, online
education. That was 18 months after I started
it. I very carefully contemplated this. The
other thing I did at that time was, remember I
said I needed to find people to do stuff I wasn’t
good at. I did, I took a partnering approach
because I didn’t want to raise money. At that
point, I partnered with Tony Clark, no relation.
He is now my COO, but he was my COO then
effectively, but he was a jack of all trades. He
was really good at operational stuff. He could
do design, he could code a little. And the two
of us together, built this online education
business. We launched it, we went from zero
to six figures in a week.

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Jody B. Miller: That’s incredible, Brian.

Brian Clark: We were at seven figures in a year. So, that
was the beginning. The next year I got into
the nascent WordPress space. At first, with
any open source thing, at first everything’s
free, and then it shifts to commercial. The
shift to paid products related to WordPress
started in 2007 by a guy named Brian
Gardner who is now my business partner. He
was the first guy to sell themes or designs for
WordPress for money instead of giving away
for free. Ostensibly, though, what you’re
doing is you’re selling support. Because if you
charge money, you can afford to support the
product. All the free themes out there were
not supported at all.
Brian Clark: I heard how much money he was making
from that, which was substantial. And then
my designer at the time and I teamed up,
we created the first design framework for
WordPress. It’s a more powerful thing that
allows you to do things as a non-technical
person. Meaning, you don’t have to get into
the code. That’s what-
Jody B. Miller: Kind of like Wix.
Brian Clark: A little like that. But it wasn’t a website builder,
because that’s not how WordPress works,
at least it hasn’t historically. My audience
were basically writers, not technicians.

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That took off, that was soon doing $10,000

a day in sales. That was crazy. And then the
next year we did our first SAS, and the year
after that I ditched my designer because we
gotten decided he didn’t need me anymore,
and he quickly learned otherwise. But I left
that business. At that point, we had all these
separate businesses that I had launched on
Copyblogger, all with different partners.
Brian Clark: I merged them all together to form what is
now Rainmaker Digital Studio Press founded
by Brian Gardner joined us and we became
one company. That’s another thing that we
sell, studiopress.com sells WordPress themes
and hosting.
Jody B. Miller: Wow, that’s amazing. To me, it’s like you’ve
just followed your instinct and you’ve paid
attention to all those signs along the way. If
the partnership felt right, and it made sense
to you, even when people are calling you out
saying you don’t know what you’re doing,
you still went for it.
Brian Clark: Yeah. It helps to be in emerging markets. You
see what’s coming ... I think a lot of people
can see what’s coming. It’s whether or not
you will act on it. Because I said something
on Twitter that was very popular the other
day, which was basically everyone says, they
wish they got in early on whatever next big

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thing there is, but they won’t do it. You could

tell them what the next big thing is, and they
won’t do it.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah. People are afraid to act or they’re afraid
... When I was doing my TEDx Talk about the
MISIGO Method, and really going for that big
reach, it’s not too unlike that book 10 X, but
it takes it even further. People are afraid to
even set the smaller goals. But when you set
something big enough, then you invest much
more in it. When you jumped into these
partnerships, you just kept investing more and
more, and look what ended up happening.
Brian Clark: Yeah, if you look at it from the standpoint of
today, it looks like I was just brilliant every
step of the way. We never did have a product
fail. But really, what really happened is you
just go about, you pay attention, you serve
your audience, they give you indications of
where things are going and what they need.
And then you do the next thing. I really had
this year by year thing, it’s no mistake that
we launched a major new thing every year
between say, 2007 and 2014.
Jody B. Miller: I noticed a couple of new things. How many
episodes do you have up on Unemployable
now?
Brian Clark: I only know this because I was just getting
ready to publish the latest episode. It’s 118.

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Jody B. Miller: Wow. That’s great. It just makes sense to me,

Unemployable, that’s you.
Brian Clark: Yeah, I was so thrilled to be able to get the
unemployable.com. It didn’t even cost that
much, because the person who had it thinks
about it in terms of its literal meaning, not
the meaning that entrepreneurs jokingly
have. Which means, you can’t hire me.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah. In fact, my dad ever since I left
investment banking, told me, you are
certifiably unemployable. I just laughed when
I found your podcast. I just started laughing.
But I have to tell you about this article I
read in Ink Magazine. You know if you are
unemployable if any of these things ring true.
Let me see if any of these ring true for you.
You’re smarter than your boss, even though
you may not have an MBA or a law degree.
Did you ever feel like you were smarter than
your boss when you were a lawyer?
Brian Clark: Oh, that’s interesting. I had several bosses
that were some of the meanest attorneys
ever. I always ended up with these guys-
Jody B. Miller: Because you were a people pleaser.
Brian Clark: No, because I was really smart about law.
These guys are trial attorneys. They’re big
on personality and bluster. But they need
someone to make sure they’re not saying the
wrong thing. If only the administration felt

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that way. But yeah, I ended up getting paired

with these guys and I hated them at the
time. But now I look back and I realize they
taught me so much. But was I smarter than
them about law? Yeah, but the law’s the least
important part of practicing law, which is
shocking for people to figure out, but I think
it’s becoming more commonly known. It’s
about psychology and it’s about perception,
and it’s about all these other things that are
involved. But you got to know the law too,
which is usually not the determinant thing.
At the time I certainly felt like I was smarter.
Jody B. Miller: Year. Even more emotional intelligence, for
sure. Okay, here’s number two, you know
you’re certifiably unemployable if you get
distracted easily.
Brian Clark: I think that’s true until I figure out what
I need to do next, and then I’ll just literally
drop into flow especially if it involves writing.
You cannot shake me off of it. But yeah, the
rest of the time, I’m flooding from thing to
thing.
Jody B. Miller: If you think about it, a lot of times we do our
best writing at the last minute. I don’t know
about you, but when I write-
Brian Clark: Under pressure. I’m good backed against
the wall. It’s maddening because you really
should train yourself to be ahead of the curve.

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Every time I hear of someone who writes stuff

months in advance. I’m like, “I hate you.” But
I think I get my best stuff by doing what it is
right there in the moment and publish it that
day or the next day. So, different styles.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I’m more like you. It’s almost like
inspired action. I have an article due for
another magazine tomorrow, and I’ve written
parts of it and then I’ve gone back and I was
working on it when I got up this morning and
I pounded it out because it’s due tomorrow-
Brian Clark: Funny how that works.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah. Okay. Here’s number three, you think
visually.
Brian Clark: Probably.
Jody B. Miller: Were you seeing the big picture-
Brian Clark: Big picture, for sure. In fact, it’s weird that,
the people who work for me will tell you
that I am obsessed about details because
my philosophy is, I don’t know which details
matter, but in the aggregate they matter. So,
just pay attention to every detail. And yet my
job is to think about the big picture and see
as far down the road as I can, which online
means anything beyond the year you’re just
kidding yourself.
Jody B. Miller: I know. I want to ask you what the next big
thing is, but we’ll get to that. But then the last

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one is, you have trouble listening to others.

Maybe that goes with what you said, you
found out you knew what you weren’t good
at, but you knew what you were good at.
Brian Clark: Yeah, I’m much better than I used to be. But
that is absolutely true. Because I think ...
They basically say Myers Briggs is discredited
by now. But I’m a textbook INTJ personality
wise, those are my traits. I don’t know if it
necessarily means anything, but that’s who
I am. Which means you’re really thinking all
the time about what you can build, and you’re
usually doing that when someone’s trying to
tell you something else and you’re like, aha.
Jody B. Miller: Because you’re already beyond that.
Brian Clark: But that is a terrible way to treat people. As
I’ve gotten older, I’ve worked on that a lot.
Jody B. Miller: Classic. You actually fit the bill for being
unemployable. But you’ve made these
amazing things, Brian. This Unemployable,
I’ve listened to a number of them, and it
just each one brings such incredible valuable
information and perspective. Do you have a
favorite episode?
Brian Clark: Well, This is just based on personal whatever.
But it also content wise, was amazing. Well,
I’ve actually interviewed Henry Rollins twice.
Only once for Unemployable. Henry Rollins
was the lead singer Black Flag, but of course,

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he went on to become a spoken word artist

and a writer and a TV and film star. He’s an
amazing guy, more integrity than 50 average
people put together.
Brian Clark: Here’s what happened. We used to put on an
annual event through Copyblogger. We took
a break from that in the last couple of years.
But I was always trying to do something
spectacular. That one year it was having Henry
Rollins do the closing keynote. I couldn’t even
believe that he agreed to do it. He ended
up coming, doing a closing keynote. He just
stood there at the mic with his feet planted
for an hour and blew the room away. It was
amazing. But in the run up to the event, he
agreed to do a podcast interview with me on
a former podcast I used to have.
Brian Clark: The second time around, I was like, what
the hell would I got to lose? At least he
knows who I am. I asked him if he would
do another one and it was fantastic, of
course. Basically, Henry is an entrepreneur
and he very much sees himself that way
even though he’s also a musician and an
actor and an artist. They’re not so different
at least in a certain perspective. You will
meet some people that have the holier than
though artistic attitude. But I’m not really
attracted to that.

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Jody B. Miller: It’s funny, I interviewed Aaron Chang on one

of my first episodes. He’s probably the most
famous ocean surf photographer in the world.
He was on surfing magazine for 26 years. But
he thinks of himself as a surfer.
Brian Clark: Or there’s that.
Jody B. Miller: That’s what it was all about. But because
of his understanding of surfing, the way he
photographs the waves, or someone in a
barrel or appear is from a whole different
understanding and perspective that makes
his work really, really valuable, and he’s
extremely successful.
Brian Clark: Essentially, he’s like, I am one of this tribe. I just
happen to also document it. That’s actually
something I agree with highly. I always say if
you want to be a leader, you got to join the
group first and then somehow inspire people
to follow you.
Jody B. Miller: That’s so true. You said you launch something
new every year, and now it seems like, and
correct me if I’m wrong, but Further, is that
your newest venture?
Brian Clark: Well, that’s a personal thing. That’s not the
big company if you will. Both Further and
Unemployable are my personal projects.
Further makes no money, Unemployable
makes money from sponsorships-

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Jody B. Miller: Yet.

Brian Clark: Right, not yet, exactly. More and more I
realized that it will be my next business.
Jody B. Miller: It reminds me a lot, Brian of Arianna
Huffington’s platform Thrive Global.
Brian Clark: That’s funny, I actually started Further before
Thrive started, But of course, Arianna has
that major bank.
Jody B. Miller: Yes. She has a little bit of a backing. But I write
for her at Huff Post and then she invited me
to write for Thrive Global. I’ve written maybe
seven or eight articles, but I just-
Brian Clark: How do you find that? Because I would
consider writing for them.
Jody B. Miller: Sure. Well, here you go with these serendipitous
things, these partnerships. I know the main
investment banker that was responsible for her
launching Thrive Global. We were talking one
day, he had read my most recent book, and he
says, “Hey, you know what? I want to introduce
you to Arianna.” I get an email from her. Hey,
Jody, we’d love to have you write for us.
Brian Clark: Nice.
Jody B. Miller: It was awesome.
Brian Clark: You didn’t talk to the editor or something.
Arianna is going to hit me up and invite me to
write for her. That’s pretty cool.

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Jody B. Miller: It was very sweet, but it was through that

introduction-
Brian Clark: That’s nice.
Jody B. Miller: I’m like you, I put myself out there, I’m
curious. You seem to be to such a curious guy,
because you’re looking at what your audience
wants, and you’re saying how can I answer
that problem? How can I solve that for them?
How can I provide something valuable that’s
going to really make them be successful in
their own lives?
Brian Clark: Right. Well, here’s something interesting for
you then is Further was started solely for me.
I’m naturally inclined to build audiences so
that it comes out. But I always say Further
at least, at the end of 2014 when I started
it, it was like therapy for me because I was
always hardcore dismissive of most personal
growth stuff. I was always thinking in terms
of Tony Robbins and that kind of cult of
personality thing. I hated that. Again, there’s
that attitude, right?
Jody B. Miller: Right.
Brian Clark: But then I realized that work was my entire
life. I designed my work life very intentionally
so that it made me happy. But instead of ...
I started out with Copyblogger really for it
to be a lifestyle business. And then all of a

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sudden we’re doing eight figures in sales and

I’m just like ... I just got fueled up to where we
got to go bigger and bigger. And then I did a
little reflecting and I said, this isn’t what you
set out to do. You wanted to be a writer and
now as CEO, you don’t have time to write.
Jody B. Miller: Exactly.
Brian Clark: I started reexamining things. But really, I just
started paying attention to different forms
of information. Got into meditation, which is
obviously we know the benefits of now, but
that was something I would have laughed at.
The more I dug in, the more I’m like, there’s
good stuff out there, this is helpful. Further
was just me sharing that stuff. Instead of
writing original content, it was just curating.
It was here’s the stuff out of all the articles
I ran across, this is the 10 best things. I do
a weekly newsletter email, and that’s it. And
then thousands of people said, “Okay, I like
that.”
Jody B. Miller: I love it. That’s really what I do too in terms of
the whole MISOGI METHOD. Have you ever
thought about doing a TED Talk or TEDx Talk?
I don’t think you’ve done one, have you?
Brian Clark: No, and it’s funny because boulder TEDx is
one of the biggest. I’m really good friends with
Andrew Hyde who founded it. Erin Weed is
also someone who lives here in Boulder. She

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is a TEDx speaker, trainer. I’ve worked with

her in a different context on stuff, and she’s
excellent. But you know what, I don’t know
why, I’m not driven to do it. Maybe that will
change. I did a TEDx style presentation at a
conference before. It was short, intense, and
it was about Further, and I loved it.
Brian Clark: I think I’m in a transition. I think I rejected
you know the whole idea of personal
branding. I wanted to create a brand or
brands that are bigger than me. I’m an
introvert by nature. I’m not shy, that’s not
the same thing, right?
Jody B. Miller: Exactly.
Brian Clark: I just never wanted things to be about me.
I think I realized ... I wrote an article and
published it today. It was about me.
Jody B. Miller: Nice.
Brian Clark: Now, it was in a way that I felt was instructive
for the audience. I’m still going to think that
way. I’m like, is this good for them, or am I
just talking about myself?
Jody B. Miller: Well, people want to know you too.
Brian Clark: I know, and I’ve heard that over and over over
the years, tell us more, tell us more. People
are asking you to do it and I’m like, nah, you
don’t want to know about me.

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Jody B. Miller: But your story, the great thing about it, Brian,
is that people will identify with you and they’ll
just want to be more part of your tribe.
Brian Clark: Yeah, I’m coming to feel that.
Jody B. Miller: Good, I love it. Okay, so let me ask you some
classic, quick questions, and then I’ll let you go
because everything you said so far has been
so amazing. And then I’ll ask you for some
last minute advice for people. But we talked
about some of your stumbling blocks along
the way already, when you had stumbling
blocks or directions that you may be thought
you didn’t want to go in, how did you deal
with it? Were you able just to get over them
and move on? Or did you hold on to things
that didn’t work out?
Brian Clark: We rarely hold on. We’d never abandon
something until we’re sure. But there’s a very
distinct ... There’s four other partners in the
larger business. The first one was Tony, and
there is a special dynamic between the two of
us. He knows me, I think better than almost
anyone. We just have these conversations,
and we figure things out. We have this thing
that we do what’s indicated. It’s kind of a Zen
thing, but that it’s observation and informed
action. That’s how we proceed.
Brian Clark: If something’s not working if we can figure
out why pretty quickly, then you just pivot

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right then. You don’t make a big deal about it,

you just do. That’s our approach. The other
partners are sometimes mystified by the two
of us. But again, when you develop a track
record, people start to trust you.
Jody B. Miller: Right. Your instinct has guided you so well.
What do you think is the next big thing? You
have taken the lead on everything you’ve
done on the internet, with the writing and the
education and now your personal projects,
but what do you think in general is the next
big online thing?
Brian Clark: Oh, gosh, it’s difficult to see it in a lot of areas
in the area that I’ve known for in expertise,
basically using content for marketing.
Personalization is the next big thing. Now, this
has been something at the level of Amazon
and Netflix and really expensive and really
sophisticated. But the technology always
catches up to where I think you’re going to
see more and more just basic websites that
you deal with will adapt to the users’ interest,
expectations, past behavior. All of this stuff’s
got to be done in an ethical and above board
way, especially with the new EU regulations.
Brian Clark: But people want that kind of personalized
experience. I think even small websites that
don’t do it will lose out to their competition
who does because ... I use the analogy

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of business websites at the beginning or

basically just brochures. And then content
revolution happened starting with blogging
and then really taking off in 2008 is a good
compromise there. That’s when content
marketing got its name. Two years after I
started talking about it.
Brian Clark: That made the brochure side unacceptable.
I think you’re about to see the same thing
happen with the fact that people are going
to want to an experience where everything is
relevant. You’re not hunting for the answer,
you’re not necessarily just trying to figure
out the navigation. Of course, you have
to have some relationship with the visitor
for most stuff in order to create a truly
personalized thing, because it really is driven
by email segmentation. Email is still the most
important marketing channel online. I know
that blows everyone’s mind, but it’s true.
Even millennials like email.
Jody B. Miller: Not a lot of texting. Have you heard of, this
is something I just started doing, the Alexa
Flash Briefing?
Brian Clark: I’ve got friends that are into the Alexa
thing. Here’s my issue, I’m not as much into
it because I don’t want one in my house.
I’m trying to cut down on my technology.
Isn’t it weird, because I was fascinated with

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technology, and that’s why I went on the path

that I did. Now, a lot of people are going,
“What have we done?”
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, but what happens when it can open
your refrigerator for you?
Brian Clark: Yeah, I know.
Jody B. Miller: I do want to call it a skill called today’s
happiness tips. It’s part of the Alexa Flash
Briefing that people can-
Brian Clark: How did you do this? What’s the procedure?
Jody B. Miller: I can tell you about it all offline. But basically-
Brian Clark: Okay. It sounds involved.
Jody B. Miller: It’s a little involved, but I can point you to
everything you need to do to capture your
skill and then what platforms you load it on,
and how it funnels and how you get approved-
Brian Clark: That’s cool. Because I think we’re seeing
that it’s going to be that’s the big next thing,
the whole concept of just voice everything.
That means that impacts search, and it’s a
completely different animal than tech space.
SEO, right? That is an important thing.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I’ll tell you about it. I would go grab that
further skill quickly.
Brian Clark: Okay.
Jody B. Miller: That’s your identity with that project.

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Brian Clark: Yeah, absolutely.

Jody B. Miller: Just a couple more quick questions. Do you
have a best piece that you ever wrote that you
love? Or a best headline to make it easier?
Brian Clark: Oh, that’s even worse. Its been 12 years on
Copyblogger. I go back in the archives. I’m
like, “I wrote that?”
Jody B. Miller: I know that feeling.
Brian Clark: I don’t remember half of it. I know the stuff
but I didn’t remember specifically writing
that thing.
Jody B. Miller: Just because you’ve written so many of them.
Brian Clark: Let me tie this together with something
we were just talking about, which is telling
people more about yourself. Because the first
couple of years, I was even worse than now if
I sound reluctant about talking about myself
because that was the stereotype of bloggers.
They were self-indulgent, they talk about
themselves and ramble on about stats that
no one cared about. I wanted to make sure I
was the polar opposite of that.
Brian Clark: But I spoke at this conference in Chicago in
2008, and it was a little more touchy feely
than my usual gig. But it was still good. A lot
of great people, old friends till this day. There
was a presentation given there that was very
very personal, and it ended with this foot

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stomp and an Oprah quote that was basically,

how dare you think that you can live the life
you want? And then closer was, how dare
you not? It was amazing.
Brian Clark: I got a lot of people, the person who gave
that presentation and other people who
were in the audience said, “How come you
never do anything personal?” Of course I
gave the answer that I gave you. But I started
thinking about it and on the flight home from
Chicago I wrote a post about ... See, I didn’t
tell you what else happened in 2005 that
made me leave the real estate business and
start Copyblogger.
Jody B. Miller: Okay.
Brian Clark: I had a snowboarding accident where I wiped
out pretty hard, didn’t know it at the time, but
I had a slow leak between my skull and the
brain, the dura; subdural hematoma. If it was
a quick bleed I would have died. Liam Neeson’s
wife died from a similar injury, just horrible.
Head injuries are a serious thing and I thank
God that the attention to concussions, that
dialog is coming out because it’s a big deal.
Brian Clark: Anyway of course, I’m an idiot. Even though
I’m having headaches and all this stuff, I
would find reasons why it was no big deal. My
wife was eight months pregnant, then my son
decided he would give us a lot of false starts.

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Jody B. Miller: Oh gosh. I have three kids. I’m starting to

have a vision here.
Brian Clark: Yeah, exactly. That’s a lot of stress, and I’m
working really hard, all that kind of good stuff.
My head hurts all the time. Finally got to the
point, it’s the beginning of May, and I started
hallucinating. My wife drags me out of bed,
takes me to the hospital. They do a ... I guess
it was, not a CAT scan the other thing.
Jody B. Miller: An MRI.
Brian Clark: MRI, yes. They come out and I’m like, I don’t
care if they tell me I’m dying. Just, if I die, it’s
over. It’ll stop hurting. Or if it’s something
else, maybe they can fix it. Instead, that came
out and they’re like you’re getting in the
ambulance right now. They took me to the
hospital and had emergency brain surgery. I
had this huge pool of blood pressing against
my brain. I was very very close to death. I
don’t know exactly, but it wasn’t days, it was
more like hours. I had surgery because the
blood had accumulated so much, it was more
complicated, it was actually craniotomy. It’s
what Lance Armstrong had with the tumor in
his brain. But I came through it great, which
is rare. I found out later, no one told me the
odds before. In fact, I felt smarter after that.
Brian Clark: But I had this epiphany, in the recovery or
really in my in hospital room after surgery, it’s

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just something that you’re trying to achieve

with meditation. I would put it that way. A
flash of enlightenment. I just realized that
even though I had my own business, I had no
interest in real estate. I chose it as a way to
make money and to prove that I could start a
real “business”, right? It wasn’t what I wanted
to do. I just had that flash of insight and that
I was continuing with it because I did feel an
obligation to my family to keep making ... I
was making a decent amount of money at the
time. That was just what I was supposed to do.
And I was just like, no you don’t. In an instant I
was like, that’s stupid. It’s stupid to do that to
yourself, but what are your kids going to think
of you when you’re miserable, and you’re just
not a good dad? You have an obligation to be a
good dad, which means you have an obligation
to be happy. I truly believe that.
Brian Clark: It doesn’t mean that you don’t work hard or
do anything to take care of them, I would,
I will, I do. But I’m going to do it in a way
that I enjoy what I’m doing. That was really
the catalyst. I wrote a post about that, and
of course, the response was, this is the best
thing you’ve ever written. Thank you so much
for sharing. I can’t believe this. Wow.
Jody B. Miller: That was the answer to my question, what
was the best piece you ever wrote?

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Brian Clark: In a way, it was. Because it’s just like you’re

encouraging me to open up more because
people want to actually know a little bit
about the people behind the business or the
educational content, whatever the case may
be. That proved it to me. I still haven’t gotten
all that personal-
Jody B. Miller: I think you’re very personable. I’ve taken up
Myers Briggs too. I think I felt literally exactly
in the middle of introvert and extrovert. You
would think I am a total extrovert, but I love
my alone time. So, I was smack in the middle,
which probably makes me kind of weird. But
we’re all weir-
Brian Clark: I don’t think it’s weird. Actually, what is it?
[inaudible 00:51:13] that’s what you are.
Some would probably argue that’s what I am
too, because I can turn it on. It’s just that, I
speak in public. That used to terrify me, but I
started doing it in 2007, and I’m not scared at
all. I don’t think I’m great, but I’m not scared.
Confidence is half the battle. I know what I’m
talking about, and I’m not afraid and that’s
generally pretty good.
Jody B. Miller: That’s pretty good. So, Brian, I just think
you’re a fascinating person, first of all, and
entrepreneur second, because we really all
should be who we authentically are in this
world. I think that’s where true happiness

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comes from. It sounds like you’re really starting

to see that in yourself. What advice do you have
for entrepreneurs out there who are wanting
to either leave that job they took because they
had to or they were doing what you’re doing
with real estate just to make the money, and
they may have some other passion. What
advice would you have for them?
Brian Clark: I think it’s the same advice that I give to people
who are trying to market in this day and age.
An entrepreneur is ultimately a marketer,
because you are bringing a new something to
market, right?
Jody B. Miller: Right.
Brian Clark: There’s this tendency to try to avoid offending
anyone, this worry that you’ll just be yourself,
say the wrong thing and someone will
unfollow you on Twitter or tell you they don’t
like you. You know what? Good, that’s what
modern marketing is, that’s what modern
entrepreneurship is. We talk about tribes.
Yeah, I’m sorry. It shouldn’t be this way. If I
could make the world into a perfect place, it
wouldn’t be tribal, but it is. So, be yourself and
attract your people. If other people don’t like it,
be happy. That’s good, that means it’s working.
Jody B. Miller: Right. I love it. That leads me to what advice
do you have for people seeking happiness,
which is really where you’re going with

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Further from my perspective, and that’s

something I talk about, and each person I
interview, or the articles I write are all about
finding that happiness that we all ... That’s
our birthright. What’s your advice for people
seeking happiness that you have found?
Brian Clark: Our business has been more successful than
I realistically even contemplated. But you
know what? Money isn’t it, money doesn’t
make you happy. Money does not suck. I like
it quite a bit, but it’s not the thing that’s going
to make you happy. If you do things that make
you unhappy in order to make money, guess
where you are, you’re unhappy.
Jody B. Miller: Exactly.
Brian Clark: That’s reality, do something that you enjoy,
and the odd thing is that’s when you might
make more money than you were aiming to
make. When I quit practicing law, I said, if I
can just survive, I’m okay as long as I’m doing
what I want to do and I’m my own boss. Did
much better than that. Within several years I
was making more than the partners at my old
law firm. That’s good, right?
Jody B. Miller: Yeah.
Brian Clark: And then with Copyblogger, in that 2005 after
I woke up from surgery, I was like, I don’t
care as long as I can support my family and

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do things the way I want to do, that’s okay.

And then my personal income went into the
seven figures. I don’t know, I don’t want to
be one of those guys that just says money
doesn’t matter. Of course it matters, but I’ve
found that when you’re doing work that you
truly love, you tend to make more money not
the other way around where you’re doing
what it takes because you need that money
for whatever; I’m going to retire someday,
or put my kids in Harvard or all those sort of
external goals, they look good on paper but
they’re not the thing.
Jody B. Miller: And then, also, it seems to me you had a lot of
patience as you were building each of these
platforms. Right now, like you said, Further’s
not making anything, but it probably will. The
more that we do what we love, I do think the
money follows.
Brian Clark: Patience is important, which is why unlike me,
you should probably not just quit your job.
It’s been 20 years ago, everything turned out
okay, but I think I mentioned to you offline
that that yeah, maybe that was a bit reckless.
But then again, I was younger. You can be a
little reckless but now, I’m really interested in
really speaking to people our age. With the
advances and in healthy aging and longevity,
Generation X is going to be probably the first

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generation that lives substantially longer.

I know they’re going after all the boomer
money, but it takes time for these things
to happen, even though there’s been a lot
of advances in these magic pills that are
supposed to help us live longer. But it’ll
probably be my generation that gets a boost.
Brian Clark: So, what are you going to do now? most of
Gen X is in their 40s, you could have an entire
other career, choose now.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, exactly. I love it. Well, Brian, thank you
so much for being on the MISOGI METHOD.
You’re making me smile. I just had such a
lovely, lovely time talking to you. I wish you
continued success. And then I’ll get back with
you offline and tell you how to do your Alexa
skill.
Brian Clark: Cool. It’s been very much speaking to you.
I think we’re kindred spirits. Everyone out
there, if you haven’t bought Drift To Shift and
that’s where you’re at in your life, Jody’s book
is really good. So, get it.
Jody B. Miller: Thanks, Brian. That’s so sweet of you. To all
our listeners, this is Jody B. Miller, I’m your
host at MISOGI METHOD and we will see you
next time.

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Jill Kinney: CEO, Health and Wellness Entrepreneur

Jill Kinney

Jody B. Miller: Welcome to the Misogi Method, breaking

barrier to achieve meaning, success and
happiness that actually lasts. I’m your host,
Jody B. Miller B. Miller.
Jody B. Miller: I love interviewing entrepreneurs. Why?
Because entrepreneurs are the change
makers. They’re the people who take an idea
that they feel in their gut is the solution to a
problem, or may answer a pressing need, and
then they work at it relentlessly until they
figure out how to make it work, and to how
to make other’s lives better. And that’s how I
would describe today’s amazing guest.
Jody B. Miller: Jill Kinney Kenney is the chairman of Active
Wellness. She’s’ considered a leader in the
world of health and fitness and has more
than 30 years in the health club and wellness

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space. I think Jill Kinney has no doubt earned

her title as America’s number one female
entrepreneur.
Jody B. Miller: Jill Kinney, welcome to the Misogi Method.
Jill Kinney: Thank you. Nice to be here, Jody.
Jody B. Miller: So, if you don’t mind, I’d love the rewind the
clock for a minute. Is that okay?
Jill Kinney: Absolutely.
Jody B. Miller: Okay, awesome. You founded the health club,
Club One, I think back in the early 90’s?
Jill Kinney: It was in 1991.
Jody B. Miller: Okay. And you built it into a pretty thriving
enterprise. How did that happen?
Jill Kinney: Gosh, it started, I had been working in the
health club space for other health club
companies for seven or eight years prior
to that. And I just saw a need for a slightly
different kind of model. The clubs that I
had been working with were very large,
multi-sport clubs and they were expensive.
They were large facilities, so they tended to
be in areas that were slightly outside of a
convenience range. And I had seen a trend
towards a lot more people moving into urban
markets at the time and felt like what people
were looking for was that high-quality service
experience, but something that was an easy
drop-in in the middle of their workday.

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Jill Kinney: So, I came up with an idea to develop a

smaller, high end fitness center that was ten
minutes from your desk, and it was easy to
incorporate regular exercise into your day.
So, sort of the first of the higher end fitness
models, which has since taken off. We grew
the company to about 95 million in sales
and we had over 100 locations around the
United States. Yeah. It was really, it was a
spectacular launch.
Jody B. Miller: That’s amazing, because the health club space
is really competitive. Especially now it’s, then
you have all these specialized classes that
you can take that are their own proprietary
methodologies. Do you incorporate a lot of
different types of exercise, or is it more just
come on in and it’s convenient and it’s nice?
Jill Kinney: Well the core design included cardio
training, strength training, and group fitness
classes, nice locker rooms, spa services. So
that was sort of the basic design. You know
over the year’s things have changed. When
we first started opening Club One locations,
there was only one other fitness center in
Downtown San Francisco. Today there’s
three on every corner. It’s really changed as
a market. The market’s grown and as you
mentioned, the boutique studios are really
popular now.

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Jill Kinney: You know, as a result over the years we

transitioned with the trends. We offer small
group training and functional training and
barre classes and spinning classes in order to
sort of stay competitive. But the initial design
was pretty flexible.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, that sounds great. And I love the whole
urban model because everyone works so
hard, especially in San Francisco. And when
it’s close to their office it just seems like it’s
very convenient, and it just seems like that’d
be a big plus.
Jill Kinney: Well there’s actually been studies that have
been over the years on why people select
one health club over another, and the
number one reason why people choose a
club is convenience, and it’s six times more
important than the second reason. In a sense
convenience is sort of the key issue that
drives people to join. That isn’t necessarily
what keeps them there, but that’s sort of the
main driver. And that’s become, that’s sort
of changed over time because now there’s
all kinds of really cool video classes, live
stream courses, classes that you can take,
and convenience is gaining momentum in an
entirely different way. The whole industry is
really shifting even further.

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Jody B. Miller: Yeah, it seems like it. I wondered when I was

thinking about our upcoming conversation,
how we get into the industries we get into,
and how is that a reflection of something
in our lives. For example, I used to run
marathons and then I developed this heart
condition. Basically, irregular heartbeats that
were too soon or too late, and I had a lot of
them, and a lot of marathon runners actually
get this. And so, it made me change my whole
life; how I exercise, what I eat, my stress
level, saying no, doing more meditation. Is
there anything in your personal life that kind
of guided you more toward the industry or
made you more excited about developing
further the Club One?
Jill Kinney: Well I actually grew up in a family that was
very active. It wasn’t something that came
to me later in life, it actually was something
that I sort of grew up with. My family was
very involved in skiing and I started racing as
a 12-year-old and got ... So my level of activity
from childhood was a lot of training, a lot of
preparation and a lot of sports and fitness
activities just integrated as part of who our
family was.
Jill Kinney: So that was an interest of mine. Ironically
when I went to college, I didn’t necessarily
see a real path to combining an interest in

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business and fitness at the time. So, it wasn’t

something was on my radar, but when it did
come on my radar I jumped on it because my
passion in that space was really something
that I never envisioned being able to combine
that passion with my work. It’s been a
wonderful ride.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah it just sounds so great. I’m sure there
were fits and starts along the way. I mean,
deciding urban or suburban. I mean, those
are different choices that really, that were
hard choices?
Jill Kinney: Yeah. It’s interesting, my now husband
who became my partner just as we were
drafting the business plan for Club One, John
worked with [inaudible 00:08:09] and really
was a great sort of early advisor, thinker
on the business concept. And he said, “You
know, before we make a commitment to
design clubs that are smaller urban clubs,
we should also create a business model for
a large suburban club and compare the two
and decide whether which one is the best
direction.”
Jill Kinney: We actually identified, we drafted two
business plans. One called Club One, which
was the smaller fitness urban site. And the
other was Club Two, which was the-
Jody B. Miller: Oh, I love it.

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Jill Kinney: Suburban site. Later we ended up choosing

Club One and then we tried to come up with
a brand name for it, but we’d gotten so stuck
on Club One that that became the name.
Jody B. Miller: Wow, that’s very cool. I love it, I love it. So
from there, you had, it sounds like it was
a very successful venture and that you’re
shifts and you’re adapting and adopting new
methodologies or new ways of exercise. I’m
sure you’re bringing more wellness into that.
You ever do meditation or group gatherings
where you have speakers or anything like that?
Jill Kinney: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. As a matter of
fact, what’s been so fun about the transition
and the evolution of where we’ve gone from
fitness centers, today our company which is
called Active Wellness, we actually work a
great deal with healthcare partners around
the United States. Our fitness center today,
in addition to having the traditional exercise
components, also offer a broad range of
integrated health services that ... you know,
meditation classes. We have a program that
we launched just a couple months ago called
Rock Steady for Parkinson’s patients.
Jody B. Miller: Oh wow.
Jill Kinney: We have arthritis programs, we’ve got
diabetes prevention programs. We’ve
really kind of transitioned into that space in

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between sort of acute care with healthcare

into wellness and fitness, and it’s an exciting
time because our healthcare partners are
particularly interested today in well care
and finding ways that they can engage the
populations that they serve. The fitness
center environment is an upbeat, positive
one so they really are, those two worlds are
sort of coming together, the health club and
the healthcare world are really starting to
blur. It’s an exciting time in terms of the types
of programs that are being offered. Really-
Jody B. Miller: I love that. Do you find that there are
corporations that give their employees
membership at their clubs?
Jill Kinney: Yeah. Actually, we offer, our company
works with quite a few corporations. So we
actually design and operate their employee
fitness camp on their campus, and we offer
programs to employees around the country.
The changing world of kind of who owns
health clubs is moving from just the private
mom and pop shop to the private equity
world that came in with a lot of large branded
facilities. And now what you find is that there
are fitness centers that are being developed
by corporations or by healthcare institutions
or by real estate developers that want to have
that kind of service and experience for their
clients, the people that they serve.

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Jill Kinney: So, it’s really an interesting new world. Health

clubs are not just facilities that are owned by
individual people who are in that business.
It’s really advancing.
Jody B. Miller: I love that. It makes me think about, part of
the work that I do with corporations is go in
and do employee engagement workshops
and work happiness workshops, and I’m very
much riding that wave of creating better
cultures. And you’re making me think, well
maybe I should do one of these in a workout
facility instead of-
Jill Kinney: Absolutely.
Jody B. Miller: In their meeting room. It would be much
more fun.
Jill Kinney: Yeah, absolutely. The latest facilities that
we’ve designed have co-working space,
lots of meeting rooms, and so it’s almost,
the club’s kind of become this version of
a community center if you will that brings
people together for wellness activities not
just fitness. So yeah, I would think that you
... you should come up to some of our sites
and we’ll set you up with a group of very
interested members.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, I would love to do that. Well I’m going
to see you in another month anyway and
it’ll be fun. I’d love to check out the San
Francisco one.

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Jody B. Miller: You’re also making me think ahead onto

different aspects of wellness, and a big issue
in our country is weight loss. You started to get
involved with the Swedish system called Itrim.
Jill Kinney: Yes, yes. I was sort of at a place in my career
where I had been running the health clubs for
quite some time and I was looking for a new
way, something new, and I really didn’t know
what that was. A friend of mine introduced me
to a fellow by the name of Mats Lederhausen,
who is a brilliant and very progressive thinker.
He had a company in Sweden called Itrim
that has developed essentially a long-term
sustainable weight loss solution that was
joyful and engaging. And as he described it
to me, I literally hopped on a plane, went to
Stockholm and saw what they were doing
and felt like I really needed to bring this back
to the U.S.
Jill Kinney: Itrim is a, think of it as a minimum one-
year engagement where you have your own
personal health coach. You have a program
that you’re following that is designed to help
you not only lose weight, but more importantly
to spend time increasing your activity level
and also learning to really become a skilled
healthy eater. Developing skills around
cooking, around food selection. Developing
skills around activity and fitness activities that
are fun and enjoyable. At the end think of this

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as people that join this program, they work

on making these lifestyle changes and then
the rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, and
by the end of the year they’ve really modified
their life. It’s a very rewarding program.
Jill Kinney: We just are in the process right now of
merging Itrim with another really incredible
digital platform company called Mong, M-O-
N-G, that has been in the corporate wellness
base for a while. We’re relaunching a new
version of Itrim my Mong here in the next
couple of months and excited to bring this to
the public.
Jody B. Miller: That’s exciting. It seems to me like if you
worked, brought something like this to the
healthcare systems that might make a lot of
sense.
Jill Kinney: That’s exactly who we’re targeting. Physicians
today are under a lot of pressure, with a
mandate to go from the traditional fixed
fee for service reimbursement model where
they’ve been for many years, to a risk-
based reimbursement model where they’re
obligated to provide wellness services and
improve the health of the patients that they
serve. And so, all of a sudden you have this
really interesting demand by physicians
to engage in more wellness activities and
programs like ours at Itrim by Mong.

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Jill Kinney: But physicians don’t have a lot of time. And

honestly very few of them have had a lot of
education around nutrition and exercise, so
what we’re providing is a turn key solution
that we’re really excited about. We’ve got
a lot of traction with physician groups all
around the country and we’re launching the
NVP in just about few weeks, so-
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome.
Jill Kinney: It’s pretty great to see an option where
physicians can not only help people when
they’re sick, but they can also keep them
from getting sick.
Jody B. Miller: Right. Which saves them a lot of money, saves
the healthcare companies a lot of money too.
Jill Kinney: It does, yeah.
Jody B. Miller: I’m sure you’re already built out that model,
which is a good one.
Jill Kinney: Well obesity is the main driver for almost all
the chronic conditions, and obesity’s growing
at the rate ... It’s been frightening for many
years but there was a study that just came
out recently that said that two-year old’s
today have a 90% chance of being obese by
the time they’re 20.
Jody B. Miller: Wow, that’s horrible.
Jill Kinney: So, we’re just going in the wrong direction,
we need to shift that.

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Jody B. Miller: So, in five years do you see yourself with

exposure across the country, and would you
expand beyond that?
Jill Kinney: It’s actually an international program. Itrim
was launched initially in Sweden and is active
in Germany and China, as well as the entity
that I have here in the U.S. So we’re launching
this new model throughout the U.S. We’ve
actually got client sites set up throughout the
U.S. already, and it’s going to be launched in
Stockholm in November.
Jill Kinney: We hope to make this a terrific international
platform that serves a lot of people around
the world. This isn’t just a U.S. issue with
obesity.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I think that’s just such a great venture.
On a personal level, Jill Kinney, you’ve earned
a lot of awards in your career, you serve on a
lot of boards. You’re busy.
Jill Kinney: Yes, I am.
Jody B. Miller: What can you say, or what advice can you give
to other women who, you have kids, right?
And we both have-
Jill Kinney: Yeah. I have three great kids that are 27,
25, and 23, so they’re grown and out of the
house. But-
Jody B. Miller: They always need their mom.

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Jill Kinney: They always need their mom. And I’m always
working to try and find a way to get more of
their time.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, me too with my three, the same thing.
What advice would you have for other
women? I love especially interviewing
women entrepreneurs because we have sort
of double duty in life. What advice or things
that are valuable to you could you give to
other women so that they feel like they can
be a little more excited about their crazy day?
Jill Kinney: I guess there are two things that come to
mind, Jody. The first is just looking back.
There were so many years of my life that
really the only thing I had time for was
family and work. I felt pressure that I wasn’t
as engaged socially as I could have been, but
I prioritized the two important things and
that was really my limit. Looking in hindsight
now that the kids are grown and looking at
the business success, I’m really proud of
those and I tried not to beat myself up for
not being as active in social in those years
that were so intense, as I know you recall
too. And then before you know it, the kids
are gone, and you do have time on your
hands. You can always go back to the social
piece, but always prioritizing the few things
that are really critical in life.

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Jill Kinney: The second thing I’d say is, last year I was
diagnosed with breast cancer and I had an
opportunity to get a whack on the head about
the importance of taking time for yourself and
so, you know, for me that was ... I look at it as
an amazing gift. I’m cancer free today and-
Jody B. Miller: Awesome, congratulations.
Jill Kinney: But have really shifted my priorities again to
spend a lot more time on me. So, I never miss
my afternoon hike, and I really just have sort
of thought about how to say no a bit more.
Jody B. Miller: That’s a big one. So hard to do.
Jill Kinney: You know women tend to beat themselves up
about not doing everything and, if you could
just do the most important things, that’s just
fine.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I love that. Well, Jill Kinney, you’re an
inspiration to me personally and I’m sure
everyone that’s listening to Misogi Method.
You’ve done so many huge reaches in your
life and have been very successful ‘cause it
sounds like you followed your passion. And
that’s a big part of doing a Misogi.
Jill Kinney: Well I’m thrilled to be included. Thanks so
much, Jody, it’s wonderful.
Jody B. Miller: Thank you. And for all our listeners, thank
you so much for being a part of the Misogi
Method. I’m Jody B. Miller B. Miller and we’ll
see you next time.

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Bradshaw Lambert: Talent Manager:

Breaking into the Music Business

Jody B. Miller: Welcome to the MISOGI Method. I am Jody

Miller, your host. I’m so happy you’re here. As
you know, it’s the MISOGI Method, breaking
through barriers to achieve meaning, success,
and happiness that lasts in your work and
your life. I am so jazzed to have Bradshaw
Lambert on here with us today. Bradshaw
and I go way back and I have been following
his career as an artist’s manager. He has been
developing and managing professional artists
for over 30 years. He’s a true Hollywood guy
and the CEO of GBL Media Management. And
he has just done amazing thing. So welcome
to the show Bradshaw.
Bradshaw L.: Thank you, Jody. Thanks for having me.
Jody B. Miller: Absolutely. So, let’s talk about how you got
into this industry and what inspired you to
jump in.
Bradshaw L.: Oh, wow. Well, from the very beginning when
I was a little kid, I would listen to the radio

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and I wanted to know where the music came

from, ‘cause I love the music. And that later
on led me to study telecommunications at
college. And then a close friend of both of
ours had a father who hired me to work at a
radio station.
Jody B. Miller: Ah, yes.
Bradshaw L.: And that was the first big step to get closer to
the music. And then after three years at that
radio station, I realized I wanted to be closer
to the music. And so the next stop was the
recording studios.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah.
Bradshaw L.: So, from there I went to Los Angeles and I
slept on my grandparents’ couch.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, my gosh. Have we all done that in our
lives? Some nice person lends us their couch
for a while.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. And I ended up going to the Hollywood
unemployment office because I thought, “Oh,
I’ll just get a sort of a waiter job at night and
then I can be an intern at a studio.”
Jody B. Miller: Yeah.
Bradshaw L.: And at the time there was a list of recording
studios that’s the unemployment official had
on his desk. And he picked it up and he goes,
“Well, you would work for free in a studio?” I

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said, “Yes.” And he dialed the first number and

it was ‘A’ for A&M Studios. Herb Alpert and
Jerry Moss’s studios. And he called the GM up
there and the guy said, “He’ll work for free?”
And the unemployment agent said, “Yes, he
will.” And the GM said, “Send him up here.”
Jody B. Miller: That’s great.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. And then I went in there and his name
was Paul Sloman. Paul told me, he goes,
“You’re not going to work for free. You’re
going to work about a hundred hours a week
and you’re not gonna see the light of day and
I’m going to pay you X amount. And if you
really want to do this, you will.” And he was
right. And so, that studio at the time was run
by a gentleman named Jimmy Iovine.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, my gosh. From Beats?
Bradshaw L.: Yes. And prior to that Interscope Records.
Jody B. Miller: Yes.
Bradshaw L.: And, so I worked for Jimmy for about three
years.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. And then from there I went to a different
recording studio and a couple of partners of
mine, were the new guys, and one of them
handed me a tape one day and said, “Hey,
Bradshaw? You want to start a label?” I said,
“Sure.” I wasn’t really thinking. And you know

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for the next few years we started putting our

personal money into this new label called
Bong Load Records. And, the fifth artist-
Jody B. Miller: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What does
that stand for?
Bradshaw L.: Bong Load Records. Well, Jodie, there’s some
shorthand there. We were going for the
college crowd.
Jody B. Miller: Got it. Got it.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. We had fun with that name because
people knew right away that it was not, they
knew it was underground.
Jody B. Miller: Kind of edgy.
Bradshaw L.: Yes, totally. And so the fifth artist that we
released was a kid named Beck, and-
Jody B. Miller: Oh, wow. He’s huge.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. And the song was called Loser. And we
put it out on vinyl. And I sent it up to radio
stations along the west coast, California,
all the way up to Seattle. And everywhere
that that song went, it just caught fire. And
it would go from the college radio station,
Top 10. It was, would go number one in the
college list, and then it would jump the fire
line over to the commercial station, to the
K-ROCKs.
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome.

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Bradshaw L.: Or The End in Seattle. So, that was our fifth
release and I thought, “Hey, this is going to
be easy. They’re all going to be like this.” And
then, I learned later about 50 artists later,
that, now there’s really something special
about the great ones.
Jody B. Miller: So, let me back up for a second about Beck,
for example.
Bradshaw L.: Yes.
Jody B. Miller: How did you discover Beck? How does a
talent manager discover talent?
Announcer: Well, there’s a lot of ways you can, but in
this particular situation, our producers, Tom
Rothrock and Rob Schnapt were at this event
in LA called the Sunset Junction Music Festival.
And I don’t think they still have it anymore.
But they both saw this artist from different
vantage points, and they reconnected and
said, “Wow. Did you see that guy? Maybe we
should record that guy.” And the answer was,
“Yes.’ And so by the time it came to me as the
GM partner of the label, my job was to create
the product and to market it to the world.
Announcer: So, to answer your question, to hunt for
talent, you gotta be out in the world. And
you got to have your ears open. And you can
get submissions through the mail as well.
But the best thing, I personally need to see
somebody live. I want to know what they’re
delivering when they’re on stage.

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Jody B. Miller: Yeah. Live music is just so revealing about their

character and personality. Is the set tight?
Bradshaw L.: Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: Are they engaging? Are they boring? Right?
You’re probably looking for all that.
Bradshaw L.: That’s exactly right. Like the room needs to
shift. You need to see the audience. I do a lot
of that. I’m watching the audience engage
with the artists. And, you know, are the guy’s
tapping their feet? Are the women moving
their bodies? Is it starting to be fun in here? And
it’s very clear to me when that’s happening.
Jody B. Miller: So, when you first started out ... this is for the
people listening that are really interested in
getting into the industry-
Bradshaw L.: Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: ... what sort of things did you do when you
were working crazy hours before you started
your label? What kind of things can people
expect to do?
Bradshaw L.: Well, from my side, the recording side, you
can expect to work so much that you forget
your own name. I really just had one day to
do laundry and then pay bills and then I was
back in the studio. That was a little extreme.
But you know, I think it exemplifies that when
you’re doing something, you love, it becomes
your lifestyle.

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Jody B. Miller: So true.

Bradshaw L.: It becomes something that you adapt to and
you don’t stop-
Jody B. Miller: Probably doesn’t even feel like work…
Bradshaw L.: Exactly. It stops seeming like work. And you’re
not just worried about how many hours
you’re doing it. You’re really enjoying what
you do. The time flies, right?
Jody B. Miller: So, if you’re giving someone their hundredth
cup of coffee, you’re like, “Here. Here’s your
hundredth cup of coffee. I’m so happy to do
this for you.”
Bradshaw L.: Yeah, exactly. And for me. It was, “Oh, now
I get to go get Bruce Springsteen a meatball
sandwich.”
Jody B. Miller: Awesome.
Bradshaw L.: That’s real good. Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: He’s one of my favorites. I would get him a
meatball sandwich. I’m from New Jersey, so I
probably know all his songs by heart.
Bradshaw L.: Me too.
Jody B. Miller: So, then what happens? You have this label.
You discovered Beck and a number of other
artists. What inspired you to move forward
from there?
Bradshaw L.: We had this deal with Island Records and
that deal expired and with it, much of the
money had expired. We had up-streamed

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Beck to Geffen’s Interscope Records with

Jimmy Iovine, which at the time David Geffen
was still there. And then later Jimmy Iovine
purchased Geffen Records.
Bradshaw L.: What I learned that of the 50 artists, only one
of them was platinum, multi-platinum. Only
one of them sold millions. Only one of them
won Grammy’s. And I realized that there was
a pretty big difference between good, and very
good, and very, very good, and great. It was like
balls and strikes. So, I went on the search for
something great. I did a little time at an internet
radio station. I got back into radio for about
a year and that was fun. But all the while I
engaged with songwriters at that radio station.
I received songwriter music and I would put it
on the air. So, I was still very much involved in
that way and I realized that I worked better one-
on-one with songwriters as opposed to bands.
Jody B. Miller: Did the lyrics inspire you more?
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. I like one-on-one better than what can
be sometimes a family dysfunction with a giant
band, you know. Because when there’s a lot
of opinions in a band, it can get complicated.
And I realized, well the songwriters are really
the people that I like. They’re not always the
loudest guy in the room. You kind of have to
find out, you know, who does what. And then
of course the songs have the longevity.

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Jody B. Miller: Yes.

Bradshaw L.: The songs are the intellectual property pieces
that are here forever. And so, that piqued my
interest. And then not long after that, I was
at an ASCAP convention. And I came across
a guy who I saw sitting in the corner, looked
a little forlorn. He had a name tag on it. Said,
“Jack Tempchin.”
Jody B. Miller: From The Eagles.
Bradshaw L.: Yes. And I said to my partner at the time,
“I think that’s Jack Tempchin. And he said,
“Who the hell is Jack Tempchin? And I said,
“I think he’s the songwriter for the Eagles.”
And so sure enough, I went over there and
introduced myself and I said to him, “Jack,
what are you doing here?” He said, “Well,
I’m helping kids. I’m helping to examine
songs for kids.” And I said to him, “I think he
should be on a panel here. I don’t think you
should be back here in the corner.” And he
goes, “Yeah, I told them that. I told them I
should be on a panel.” And I said to him, “Ah,
you manage yourself?” And he said, “Yes, I
do.” And he goes, “I’m trying to save a little
money.” And I said, “Okay, well if you ever
need representation, number one, it would
subject you to less rejection.”
Jody B. Miller: Sure.

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Bradshaw L.: That’s right. And number two, it would help

expedite the process of people saying, “Yes,”
or, “No,” to you, because they’re not worried
about telling the guy in person, this great
songwriter, “Oh, we can’t have you.”
Jody B. Miller: It’s so much greater when someone else’s
complimenting you and tooting your horn
than-
Bradshaw L.: That’s right. That’s right. And that’s the pro
way to do it. So, six months later I finally got
a call from him. He said, “I think I might need
your help.” And I said, “Well, what did you
learn about what I do?” And he said, “I learned
that I don’t like it and I don’t want to do it.”
Jody B. Miller: Well, at least he knew that he can make that
line in the sand. That’s good.
Bradshaw L.: That’s right. And I said, “Okay, well you’re
going to pay me and I’m going to do a lot of
stuff for you. And I’m going to try and make
a story happen for you. I’m not going to
promise you that you’ll be number one on the
Billboard charts. But this is a cool story. You’ve
written at least five multi-platinum songs for
The Eagles and nobody knows your name.”
Jody B. Miller: So, what are some of the songs that he’s
written? I know Peaceful Easy Feeling for
sure. But-
Bradshaw L.: Yes.

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Jody B. Miller: What are some of Jack’s other songs?

Bradshaw L.: That song and Already Gone-
Jody B. Miller: Oh, love that one.
Bradshaw L.: Which is also on The Eagles Greatest Hits,
1971 to ‘75, are on the best-selling US band
albums of the 20th century.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Bradshaw L.: So, The Eagles Greatest Hits was huge. And
after that, they broke up. And during the
14-year breakup or what The Eagles called,
“vacation,” Jack took the Don Henley seat, and
he became a primary co-writer with Glen Fry.
Jody B. Miller: That’s amazing.
Bradshaw L.: Glen Fry solo career. Yeah. So, it had all the hits
from hits like Miami Vice, the 80s television
series.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, I remember that.
Bradshaw L.: Yes.
Jody B. Miller: The white outfits, the white suits, and-
Bradshaw L.: Right. And million-dollar cars.
Jody B. Miller: Ha.
Bradshaw L.: And Jack co-wrote several songs with Glen
Fry, like Smuggler’s Blues, which was an
episode that Glen Fry starred in. And then
also You Belong to The City. That was another
pretty big one.

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Jody B. Miller: Great songs. I had no idea.

Bradshaw L.: Two on the charts. And then for about three
or four more albums, Jack was the co-writer.
And then The Eagles reunited. I think we’re
1994 right now. And at that time, Jack co-
wrote a song called The Girl From Yesterday,
which is almost a country sounding song...
that was on The Eagles Hell Freezes Over
album, the reunion release.
Bradshaw L.: Jody B. Miller: Was that when artists were
starting to crossover genres?
Bradshaw L.: Well, The Eagles were the first to crossover
genres because back in the 70s, Best of My
Love was one of the first rock and roll songs
to crossover to the country charts.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Bradshaw L.: So, this was old news to them. And, and then
of course, more recently they had a song
that was on the Academy of Country Music
Awards and won a Grammy in the Country
Album category.
Jody B. Miller: It’s one big world now.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. I mean it’s always changing, but they
were pioneers of that.
Jody B. Miller: So, continue.
Bradshaw L.: And then finally on the last Eagles’ studio
album, Jack has two co-writes, the one with

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a guy named John Brannen and its sort of a

rock and roll intense Halloween song called
Somebody. And it has a great descriptive lyric
about jack-o-lantern moons and midnights
skies. That is a two-CD album. And on the
second CD, the very last song is a tune called
It’s Your World Now. And this song was written
with Glen Fry and it’s kind of eerily haunting
now, because it has lyrics in it that people are
noticing were foretelling his early departure.
Jody B. Miller: Really?
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. So, Jack wrote that and then when Glen
Fry passed away, they posted the lyrics to the
song on the Eagle’s website.
Jody B. Miller: Powerful.
Bradshaw L.: Very powerful. Yeah. It’s very beautiful. It’s
very sad. And yet it’s, you know, it’s positive at
the same time. It’s the curtain falls. I take my
bow. You’ll be all right. It’s your world now.
Jody B. Miller: That’s powerful.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. And so those are the five Eagle songs
total.
Jody B. Miller: So, Jack, does he go out on tour now?
Bradshaw L.: Yes. We just went up the west coast to the
Bay area and in June he’ll be headed to the
northwest to play Portland and Seattle and
Olympia.

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Jody B. Miller: I bet people just flocked to that because I

mean to see the actual songwriter and hear
him sing it, tell the story of how it was created
and be such a pivotal part of one of the most
well-known bands in the world, must just be
so engaging.
Bradshaw L.: It is. It’s captivating. If you like great stories,
if you like the story behind the song, Jack
always sets up every song with the history of
it and how it came to be.
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome.
Bradshaw L.: So, yeah. It’s fun.
Jody B. Miller: So, when you said to Jack in the beginning,
“I can do lots of things for you,” what other
kinds of things can you do for songwriters
or artists in general that you represent that
continues and expands the franchise?
Bradshaw L.: Well, it depends on the artist. I’d sort of zero
in on what’s special about the artist and I
document the artist’s history and I look for
things to tie it in with. And for Jack, there
was one particular song, the Peaceful Easy
Feeling song. He had finished the last verse
of it at a hot dog stand in San Diego called Der
Wienerschnitzel, while he was waiting for a
chili dog.
Jody B. Miller: It’s amazing where inspiration comes from.

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Bradshaw L.: Right. And so, I had this crazy idea that, “Hey,
maybe we could get Wienerschnitzel to
underwrite this story, and help us publicize it,
and make an event in San Diego around the
fact that he finished it there.”
Bradshaw L.: And then my brain, Jody, kind of moved on
to, “What if it was bigger than that? What if
I did something really crazy and we called it
Peaceful Easy Feeling Day in San Diego?”
Jody B. Miller: I hear your MISOGI coming up.
Bradshaw L.: I think so. I think so. And then I have this
insane idea. Like, I know. I will reach out to the
mayor of San Diego and get a proclamation
that calls this December 1st date, Peaceful
Easy Feeling Day. Now, this was such a crazy
idea that I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t tell my
wife. I didn’t even tell Jack, ‘cause I thought,
“Oh my God. They’re going to think I’m nuts.”
This is just-
Jody B. Miller: Well, that’s the best thing about a MISOGI,
is when someone says, “You’re a little crazy,”
that’s usually a good sign.
Bradshaw L.: Yes. Yeah. So, I thought, “Yeah, maybe I’ll just
not tell anybody.” And then if I get rejected,
there’s no high-risk, aside from I’ll take it, you
know, personally. It will have an impact. But
it’s not going to embarrass me. The outgoing
mayor at the time was Jerry Sanders, and

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he was kind of at the end of his term in San

Diego. And he wrote back to me. “I love it. I
love this idea. December 1st.”
Jody B. Miller: You never know. You put it out there. You go
for it. You go for those inspired actions.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: And look what happened.
Bradshaw L.: And a magic thing happened. And so, he said,
“What do you want on the proclamation?”
Because they give you this proclamation
on fine paper with an embossed stamp and
lovely fonts.
Jody B. Miller: Nice.
Bradshaw L.: And I said, “Well, you know, he’s done a lot of
community shows and charities and he’s been
a lifelong San Diego resident. He’s always
involved in the community.” And Jerry Sanders
emailed back, “Just write it up.” So basically, I
got to write the proclamation of Peaceful Easy
Feeling Day for the city of San Diego.
Jody B. Miller: That could be another sideline job for you
Bradshaw. Writing proclamations for famous
artists.
Bradshaw L.: Ha ha. Yeah.
Bradshaw L.: So, there it is. Then it was easy, Jody. I went
to Der Wienerschnitzel and said, “Hey, guess
what, Der Wienerschnitzel, the mayor of

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San Diego is going to proclaim December

1st Peaceful Easy Feeling Day for the 40th
anniversary of Jack Tempchin song having
been recorded and released by The Eagles.”
And Der Wienerschnitzel said, “Wow. We’ll
give away free chilly dogs.”
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome.
Bradshaw L.: From there, you know, then I created the
press release. “Hey, there’s going to be
this big event.” And the mayor said that
they would send a representative. He was
unavailable. They sent a representative to the
Der Wienerschnitzel to present Jack with the
proclamation on Peaceful Easy Feeling Day.
Jody B. Miller: I love it.
Bradshaw L.: And people showed up. And then the other
thing that happened is about four or five
TV stations showed up, four radio stations
showed up, and the San Diego Union of
course showed up.
Jody B. Miller: That’s a key one.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah. So, we had major exposure for that
one event and, Jack Sang a song and Der
Wienerschnitzel presented him with a plaque
that they put at the table where he finished
the song. And when he is live on stage, he
always tells a story about how proud he is
that eventually someone stole that plaque.

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Jody B. Miller: Really?

Bradshaw L.: Yeah. He’s very proud of that. Somebody
cared enough to steal it.
Jody B. Miller: That’s a good attitude.
Bradshaw L.: That’s his humor.
Bradshaw L.: And so that, I think was my MISOGI.
Jody B. Miller: I agree. Big reach. Big result. I have to imagine
that product development came into play.
Did anything come after that?
Bradshaw L.: Well, that was five years ago. Here we are,
five years later with the 45th anniversary
of Peaceful Easy Feeling. And I reached out
to Der Wienerschnitzel again, and we had
a show in LA. And they sent their weaner
wagon out to the venue, and we gave away
hot dogs right before the show.
Jody B. Miller: Awesome.
Bradshaw L.: And then also, they gave us coupons to take
on the road and to hand to all attendees. So,
in that way, I think I returned to that same
idea.
Jody B. Miller: What about wine? A lot of artists create wine
or sauces or products. Have you gone in that
direction at all?
Bradshaw L.: Yes, we do have a Peaceful Easy Feeling
Cabernet.

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Jody B. Miller: Nice.

Bradshaw L.: And for a while, we had a Peaceful Easy
Feeling Chardonnay. That same idea. It was
like, “Well, how else can we monetize these
three important words, which are the song
title to the most famous son that Jack wrote?”
Jody B. Miller: Well, not only that, but a song, and not only in
the fame, but the fact that this song touches
people so deeply.
Bradshaw L.: Yes.
Jody B. Miller: And I mean, when you have a glass of wine,
you feel even better, so-
Bradshaw L.: That’s right.
Jody B. Miller: ... it makes a lot of sense.
Bradshaw L.: That’s right. And so, on the back of the wine
it does say words to that effect. I got to write
that too. And so yeah, we’re always looking
for opportunities to market the Peaceful Easy
Feeling brand. And we’re looking at a clothing
line coming out at the end of this year in time
for the holidays. It’ll have sort of a cactus
theme because of the lyric that says, I want
to sleep with you and the desert tonight with
a billion stars all around.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, I like it. I want one of those.
Bradshaw L.: That’s the best line.
Jody B. Miller: Can I ask you a personal question?

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Bradshaw L.: Yes.

Jody B. Miller: You can answer or not, but when you go
on tour, are there any funky stories that
happened?
Bradshaw L.: Well, let’s see. Because Jackson an older
individual, we don’t have too many rock and
roll stories, if that’s what you’re asking. The
challenging part with Jack is he likes to stay
up to four or five in the morning every night.
Jody B. Miller: Oh.
Bradshaw L.: And so, you know, the most dramatic thing
that happens is he’ll order three or four meals
from room service right before they close.
Jody B. Miller: Well, you get hungry when you’re up ‘til four
in the morning. And that’s a classic artist
lifestyle, right?
Bradshaw L.: Yes. They go all night.
Jody B. Miller: They’re probably totally enthused and excited
and just deliver an amazing performance like
Jack does.
Bradshaw L.: Yes.
Jody B. Miller: And they get hungry.
Bradshaw L.: They do. And sometimes the restaurants
were closed at four in the morning.
Jody B. Miller: It’s funny. I’ve talked to so many different
famous people in different walks of life—and
a tennis friend of mine who won a bunch

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of grand slams and a gold medal in the

Olympics, told me how Andre Agassi would
sneak in candy.
Bradshaw L.: Oh, really?
Jody B. Miller: They weren’t allowed to have sugar, but he’d
sneak in candy and bribe the security guards
to go get him Burger King.
Bradshaw L.: There it is.
Jody B. Miller: It seems they all have something, and a lot
seems to revolve around food.
Bradshaw L.: That’s funny. I love that.
Jody B. Miller: So Bradshaw, what advice can you give to
young people today who really want to break
into this industry, other than, “Don’t?”
Bradshaw L.: Other than, “Don’t.” I have a lot of parents
get mad at me, Jody, because when they say,
“What kind of advice would you give to a
young person who wants to enter the music
industry?” I say, “Don’t.” And the reason I
say, “Don’t,” is not because I want to burst
their bubble or because I’m a curmudgeon.
There’re very real reasons financially not to
enter it now.
Jody B. Miller: Is it that the revenues or the royalties coming
from music are slimmer?
Bradshaw L.: Correct. The price that the artists and
songwriters are compensated for their music

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has cratered. First it happened with Napster

where people were getting music for free
and the recording industry did not handle
that very well. And then it just became one
thing after another. Now Spotify is sort of a
legitimate version of it that’ll pay about a fifth
of a cent every time you hear an artists’ songs.
Jody B. Miller: So, are artists taking any of that under
their own control and maybe selling tickets
themselves, or only allowing music on certain
platforms that pay them what they’re really
worth? I mean they’re the creators.
Bradshaw L.: Yes. But I mean some of them are fine,
like The Beatles. They will always hold out.
They’re always the last one in, whether it
was iTunes or Spotify. They kind of sit back
and wait before they put their music in.
But if you’re a new artist, you don’t have
that leverage. I don’t recommend that. I
recommend that you get really focused on
what you love doing. It will become your
lifestyle and hopefully you will make some
money if you get out on the road and play
shows. But that’s not guaranteed either.
Bradshaw L.: So, the best thing I advise now for the people
who still want to be in the business after I
say, “Don’t,” I say, just get really focused on
what you’re doing. And you do, now more
than ever, you really do need a job. You

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cannot survive at this point in time until

there’s some congressional law changes. You
cannot survive with compensation that’s out
there right now. You have to have a second
job, and then maybe you stay up all night
writing your songs, and you pitch your songs
to people and hopefully it plays out for you.
But that thing I mentioned earlier about the
good and the great, that, now more than
ever, is transparently clear. You can be a very
good guitarist, but we know there are a lot
of good guitarists in the world. But we also
know there’s only one Prince or there’s only
one Jack White. And these are the artists that
made it their lifestyle.
Jody B. Miller: So just live it.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: So, if someone wanted to get into your side
of the business, it sounds to me like it’s not
just picking up an amazing talent, like a Jack
Tempchin, but also monetizing or expanding
that franchise in many different directions in
order for them to really capture the revenues
they deserve.
Bradshaw L.: At this point, that’s what we’re doing. You
know, the money is made on the road with
the merchandise, the t-shirts, the albums, the
CDs, the hats, and then the licensing of the
brand to the wine, and items like that. So, it’s

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really tough now for kids coming up because

you can have a degree. They have degrees
now for the music business at school.
Jody B. Miller: I Jimmy Iovine started a whole school and
major at USC with Dr. Dre?
Bradshaw L.: That’s correct. You can study the music
business there, but when you get out, you’re
going to be facing the same problems that
the veterans are.
Jody B. Miller: So, you have to be determined. You have to
stick with it and believe and-
Bradshaw L.: Absolutely. And you have to burn for it.
There’s a documentary with Jimmy Iovine
and Dr. Dre called The Defiant Ones. And in
this documentary, Jimmy says, “You have to
use your fear as a tailwind.” And what does
that mean? Instead of backing off when
you’re scared, he suggests doubling down
when you’re scared.
Jody B. Miller: That’s so interesting you say that because I
heard him do the commencement speech
the year my daughter graduated from USC.
He talked about how he was this kid from
Brooklyn and when he met Steve Jobs, he
walked out of that meeting saying, “My
businesses is over.” And had to remake
himself at 54 years old.
Bradshaw L.: That’s right. That’s right.

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Jody B. Miller: Very inspiring speech. What I heard is… it’s

never too late. And look what you’ve done,
Bradshaw. You started out in the studio at
a radio station, following your path, and
following the signs along the way that took
you into talent representation where you’re
discovering, developing and managing talent.
And then you found that the songwriter side
was really interesting to you. And I bet you’re
one of the few people in the country who’s
a specialist at that. To be able to really work
with songwriters that sometimes live in the
shadows of the talent, is really, really unique
and niche.
Bradshaw L.: Yes.
Jody B. Miller: So, if there are any songwriters out there
who are looking for amazing management,
they should contact Bradshaw. And how can
people contact you, Bradshaw?
Bradshaw L.: Well, I have a website, Jody, at
bradshawlambert.com, and people can
submit their music there. And that’s the best
way to get a hold of me. I’m also on Linkedin.
Jody B. Miller: Great. And for songwriters, well, that’s a
natural. And for talent, you still are looking
for talent like you always do?
Bradshaw L.: I do have one spot on my roster at this time.
Jody B. Miller: Okay.

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Bradshaw L.: So, I’m open to that.

Jody B. Miller: Awesome. You’re in high demand, but you’ll
let one more in.
Bradshaw L.: That’s correct.
Jody B. Miller: I love it. Well, I can’t wait to go to the next Jack
Tempchin show, and keep in touch with you,
and buy all that stuff that’s coming out about
laying under the stars. It sounds romantic.
Bradshaw L.: Yeah, you can look for Jack Tempchin things
at peacefuleasyfeeling.com. Of course.
Jody B. Miller: Awesome. Well Bradshaw, thank you so much
for being on the MISOGI Method. I loved your
MISOGI about Jack Tempchin Day. I’m sure
you’re thinking of your next one.
Bradshaw L.: That’s right.
Jody B. Miller: To all our listeners, thank you for joining us.
And if you’re a songwriter, if you’re an artist
in Hollywood, Bradshaw is your guy. He
gets a lot done for you, and I can personally
recommend him because I’ve known him for
a long time. So, thank you all for being here.
Thanks for being on the MISOGI method, and
we’ll see you next time.

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Jennifer Chapin: Co-Founder of KIKOKO

(a Cannibas Tea Company)

Jen Chapin

Jody B. Miller: Welcome to the MISOGI Method, breaking

through barriers to achieve meaning, success
and happiness that lasts. I’m your host Jody
B. Miller. My guest today is a trail blazer in the
world of successful startups. She has broken
through some pretty big barriers in order to
launch and grow her current enterprise. And
if you are an entrepreneur yourself, you will
learn a lot from her.
Jody B. Miller: Jennifer Chapin is the co-founder of KiKoKo,
a cannabis tea company. Jen, welcome to the
MISOGI Method.
Jennifer Chapin: Thank you, it’s great to be here. I appreciate it.
Jody B. Miller: So, you and I met years ago when I made a
big change in my life, and we became fast
friends, and I’m so grateful for that.
Jennifer Chapin: Likewise.

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Jody B. Miller: Yeah.

Jennifer Chapin: You never know.
Jody B. Miller: You never know in life. When we first met you
had a number of potential entrepreneurial
ventures on the table, and you to me are just a
very, very smart woman with a great business
mind. What made you decide, KiKoKo?
Jennifer Chapin: Great question. Sometimes I’m not sure if it’s
smart or if I’m actually insane. So, it’s a little
bit of everything. A little craziness also. Well as
you probably know, I’m a serial entrepreneur,
and I’m always looking for interesting ideas,
and collaborating with interesting people.
And KiKoKo was an opportunity that came
our way. Although it wasn’t called KiKoKo at
the time. My business partner and I, Amanda
Jones, started looking at the cannabis industry
about five years ago when a friend of ours
had cancer, and she was using cannabis to
medicate for sleep and pain and nausea and
appetite. Yeah.
Jennifer Chapin: On the one hand it was working for her, but
on the other hand there was just no dosage
instructions, or you know, the product that
she was taking were just very unreliable.
Jody B. Miller: Mm hmm.
Jennifer Chapin: And she would be medicating with cannabis,
and on the one hand it would help her with

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her various ailments, but on the other hand

she would ride the crazy train, as we call it.
And literally be crawling to the bathroom on
her hands and knees.
Jody B. Miller: Ugh.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah. So, she would share these stories with
us, and she said, “There has to be a better
way. You know this plant is on the one hand
is working and it’s this miracle plant. But on
the other hand, I just can’t predict what my
experience is going to be like.”
Jennifer Chapin: And she planted the seed, like I say about
four and a half, five years ago, and Amanda
and I started looking at the industry and just
got very, very curious and intrigued about
it. And the more we learned, the more we
just couldn’t help ourselves. And wanted to
provide low, reliably dosed, and safe dosed
products, cannabis products.
Jennifer Chapin: And that’s how the idea was originally born.
Just our ... When we saw there was really
a need in the industry for low and reliably
dosed products.
Jody B. Miller: So, you started with the teas?
Jennifer Chapin: Yes. We started with tea. So now we actually
call ourselves a health and wellness cannabis
company for woman.
Jody B. Miller: I like that

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Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, we initially launched with our cannabis

teas, our herbal teas. One for sleep, pain,
mood, and anxiety. And there’s a-
Jody B. Miller: Can you tell us the names because I remember
the packaging is so beautiful and the names
are so clever.
Jennifer Chapin: Oh, we love our names. So, we have our tea
for mood, kind of our happy tea, is called
Positivi-Tea.
Jody B. Miller: I love that.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah. And that has 10mg of THC and five of
CBD. And then we have a tea called Sensuali-
Tea, which is our tea for libido and fun.
Jody B. Miller: Fun.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah that’s a good one, we love that one. And
then we have Sympa-Tea, which is our tea for
pain. And then our fourth tea is Tranquili-Tea
for sleep.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, I love that. It’s such a great play on words.
I think that’s so cool. How did you figure out
the dosage?
Jennifer Chapin: It was not easy. We were in R and D for two
and a half years. So, we officially founded our
company in January of 2015. And we went
into R and D for about two and a half years.
It wasn’t easy. Just tons and tons of research.
And that was you know ... Amanda and I
as we were looking at the industry, we just

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absolutely became insatiable and realized

that there was a lack of products out there
that were medicating for various conditions.
And we felt like there was an opportunity to
create these products focusing on women,
and to deliver it in such a way that we could
really normalize cannabis.
Jennifer Chapin: Because prior to ... I mean we got in the
market, there was just really nothing on the
market that was directed at women. And
so, we felt like if we could come up with a
product that was medicated for various
conditions that people complain about, but
also did it in a beautiful and approachable
and fun way, that we could really capture the
attention of people.
Jennifer Chapin: So, you know, we’ve studied the plant and
recognized there’s certain ratios of the
cannabinoids that work really well together.
And just worked with a lot of scientists to make
sure we got dosages correct and the right
ratios. It’s ... You know the various teas, you
know with their various cannabinoid ratios.
Jody B. Miller: And then I remember you told me before that
you had a sort of a machine that helps it ... is
it water soluble kind of process.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, we have a process, as you know, oil
and water don’t mix together so one of the
reasons we chose tea was one, we knew it

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would be a very difficult product to do and

to replicate. So, it would be a very difficult R
and D process. But we also knew, and know
that four out of five people drink tea, and
that tea in itself is already a ritual for the
things that we’re medicating for. And so, the
teas themselves, the herbal blends are very
synergistic for illness. Whether it’s sleep for
example where we have you know camomile
and velarium root, and lemon myrtle, and
lavender and things like that, that you know
promote sleep.
Jennifer Chapin: Or whether it’s in our Sympa-Tea, for our
pain tea, the synergistic components and
ingredients just in the tea themselves.
Whether that’s ginger or tumeric, or black
pepper, those are things that promote anti-
inflammatory properties. And then the
science side on the cannabis is working with
scientists to work with the cannabis oil,
to then put it in such a form that we could
actually combine it with the tea and make it
water soluble.
Jennifer Chapin: We actually have a tea that ... Our big goal was
to make sure we could mask both the smell
and taste of cannabis. And we’ve managed
to do that over our R and D process. So, we
think they taste pretty yummy.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah.

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Jennifer Chapin: And I think you’ve sampled them, so you

probably know for yourself.
Jody B. Miller: I have. And what I want ... I mean I know
how they make me feel. I haven’t tried the
Sensuali-Tea. I’ll let you know on that one.
Jennifer Chapin: Okay. We hear it’s a marriage saver.
Jody B. Miller: Well maybe I was too late for that. But it’ll
keep what’s going on now great. So, in terms
of how you feel, you were mentioning your
friend who inspired you and Amanda. And
she never knew what she was going to get,
on how she felt. What has been the ... Was it
sort of trial and error on how many milligrams
of you know, which part of cannabis you put
in, or have you finally figured out it’s going to
make you feel good for two hours, five hours,
a day?
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, I mean it was a lot of experimentation.
Jody B. Miller: Sure.
Jennifer Chapin: A lot of funny stories for sure. But we’ve got
a lab, and we’ve got scientists, and we’ve
got people that are professionals that know
how to do this stuff. It’s a very scientific
process in terms of ... You know we really
take it seriously, because at the end of the
day we’re medicating, and we’re providing a
... You know what we’ve set out to do with
KiKoKo is really help provide alternatives to

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pharmaceuticals and alcohol. So, we take it

seriously when we say, “Hey this is going to
take the ... This is going to help you sleep.”
Or, “Hey, this is going to help your pain.” Or
be anti-inflammatory.
Jennifer Chapin: We take the science very seriously. We’ve got
a lot of rigor behind that.
Jody B. Miller: So, when you first started distributing, how
did that go? I mean I want to talk about the
cannabis market in a minute, and how it’s
growing. But in the beginning, how did you
imagine distribution, and then how did you
actually execute it?
Jennifer Chapin: Well that’s actually ... that’s a funny question
because ... Or I’ve got a funny answer to that
question. When Amanda and I set out to do
this, four years ago, four and a half years ago,
we actually went into dispensaries and shared
our vision with the dispensary owners. Saying
that we wanted to create a low dose product,
meaning something under 10mg per serving.
And that we wanted to target women. And we
actually were laughed out of the dispensaries
because they thought that-
Jody B. Miller: Really?
Jennifer Chapin: ... yeah, that would never work. And that we
were going to be specific with the conditions
that we were treating. And they just didn’t
think there was a market for low dose.

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And what I love now is that we’re actually

the leading selling beverage in the state of
California.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah. And we’re the only dry cannabis tea on
the market currently, that’s you know legal
and compliant. So, I get a kick out of that. But-
Jody B. Miller: So how did you ... Okay so, a lot of times for
entrepreneurs, they go out and they test
their idea, and they get a lot of no’s. How did
you say, “We don’t care, we’re going to move
forward”? What was the impetus that made
you say, “We’re still going to do this.”?
Jennifer Chapin: You know we’re big believers in research.
And you know Amanda’s a journalist so she...
that’s what part of her job and what she
does as a researcher. And me being a serial
entrepreneur, I’ve had to break through a lot
of barriers. And you know when you ... This
was a concept that we just felt in our bones
... that we were right on target, we were right
on the mark.
Jennifer Chapin: Because we had talked to so many women.
I mean we probably interviewed, oh gosh, I
mean several hundred women or more. And
one of the things that we heard time and
time again from women is that, you know
they ... and particularly as women get a little
bit older, and Amanda and I are now in our

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50s. What we were hearing is that women

are getting more reliant on pharmaceuticals
and alcohol, but they don’t like it, and they
don’t like the way it makes them feel. So, if
there was a natural, more plant-based way
that they could medicate. You know but they
still need mother’s little helper, or they need
help sleeping or whatever it is, but if they
could ingest something that wasn’t going to
give them the Ambien hangover, or the wine
hangover, or the calories, that they would be
really predisposed to something like that.
Jennifer Chapin: So, in terms of ... You know even though we
were laughed out of dispensaries early on,
we knew based on our multiple, multiple and
exhaustive conversations with women, that
if we did create something, that they would
buy it.
Jennifer Chapin: So effectively we just said, “Okay, we’re going
to create a product for ourselves that we
would love and buy.” And we felt strongly
enough, and believed the research that we
were doing, that women would follow. And
fortunately, that’s proved out to be right.
But you know in terms of your question, not
taking no for an answer, it’s really ... Amanda
and I call it, doing things the women way. And
we just really-
Jody B. Miller: I love that.

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Jennifer Chapin: Yeah. And part of that is following your instinct.

We had a very strong instinct, we were early,
certainly for the market in what we were
doing. But we also felt strongly that if we just
stuck to our guns, and followed our instincts,
that we’d have a really terrific opportunity.
Jody B. Miller: I love it. That’s a whole theme of when I did
my TEDx talk about the MISOGI Method, all
about, you have to first feel it in your bones.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah.
Jody B. Miller: You have to just ... You just have to know
regardless of what anyone else says. You just
know. And I love that you just kept going
forward and breaking through. And now your
basically number one. So, I have a personal
question, because I’m also in my 50s. Which
one of those would be good for someone
going through menopause?
Jennifer Chapin: Oh, I think the Sympa-Tea would be really
nice.
Jody B. Miller: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Chapin: The Sympa-Tea for pain and anti-
inflammatory. I just ... It just feels like a good
massage. That’s what we say on our label. It
feels like a good massage. But we also ... Rule
number five at KiKoKo ... we have six rules for
doing business. And our rule number five is
laugh a lot. So-

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Jody B. Miller: And you always do anyway. You always have

such a great, fun, effervescent personality.
Jennifer Chapin: Oh, thank you. You too. Takes one to know
one. So, I think having some Sensuali-Tea, or
some Positivi-Tea, and just laughing your ass
off is also a good thing.
Jody B. Miller: I love it. What are the other rules?
Jennifer Chapin: Oh, rule number one, I love ... Well I love all
of our rules. Rule number one is no assholes.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, I love that one.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, we decided after we were mansplained
to death. It’s really interesting when people
tell you things that you already know, but
they don’t ask you what you do know. And
so, we have been mansplained quite a bit.
And you know there’s just a lot of folks out
there that we wouldn’t so business with.
Both men and women. I don’t want to just
... I mean we love men, and not trying to
throw men under the bus in any stretch of
the imagination. But you know in order to
... It goes back to what we were just talking
about, you know following our instincts. And
there’s a lot of naysayers out there, a lot of
negative people, and you’ve just got to put
them aside and put their biases aside and
learn from them, and maybe listen to the
things that do make sense.

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Jennifer Chapin: But we have a very strong rule ... We haven’t

even ... There are people we haven’t even
taken money from, because we just felt like
they fell under the no asshole category. And it’s
been a really great rule for us to do business.
Jody B. Miller: I’m going to adopt that one.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, they’re actually on our website. So, if
you go to KiKoKo, you’ll see the rules on our
website.
Jody B. Miller: For our listeners that’s K-I-K-O-K-O.
Jennifer Chapin: KiKoKo.com.
Jody B. Miller: KiKoKo.com. So, what’s rule number two?
Jennifer Chapin: Equality for women.
Jody B. Miller: Nice.
Jennifer Chapin: Not that we don’t want equality for all, but
I think ... I’m sure you probably have fallen
into this in your career. I’ve experienced
being paid 74 cents on the dollar to men
when I was doing an equal or bigger job
than them. And you know that just pisses
us off. And Amanda and I fought our entire
lives for equal rights for women. And we just
believe very strongly in that. So, we’re female
owned, we’re female led, the majority of our
... I would say probably three quarters of the
folks that work at KiKoKo are women, and we
just love it. It’s just a fantastic culture to ...
You know everybody’s just kicking ass here.

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Jody B. Miller: I love that Jen, because in so many ... What

I’ve found in my different careers, T.V.,
investment banking, you know a lot of
strategic consulting, that women don’t help
women. And I always remember saying ... It
started when I was in T.V. at CBS, in New York.
I said, “Women are just mean to each other.
I am not going to do that.” I think you’re a bit
of a rarity, you and Amanda, because I don’t
feel like there’s that good old girls’ network,
like there is a good old boys’ network.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, and I hear that. And I’ve heard that a
lot. It just breaks my heart. I mean we’ve got
to support each other. And one of the things
that everybody hears me say, and Amanda
say quite a bit here is, “That our job is the
to set you up for success. And if we’re not
setting you up for success ... “ Male, female,
it doesn’t matter your gender, or ethnicity, or
your bias or whatever. It’s just that our job is
to set you up for success. And that requires
being in a supportive environment.
Jennifer Chapin: So that plays into one of our rules which is,
rule number four, which is generosity of
spirit. And that generosity of spirit means
sharing and caring and lifting each other
up and supporting each other. And if you’re
not doing that then KiKoKo is not the place
for you. And we just won’t stand for gossip,
we’re not going to stand for people not lifting

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one another up. And that’s just, again, that’s

another rule that we live by. And if people
aren’t practicing that inside KiKoKo, then
again KiKoKo’s just not the right place for
somebody.
Jody B. Miller: And what other rules? Are there one or two
more?
Jennifer Chapin: Our third one, is unrelenting quality. And we
just, you know, we spend more on ingredients
and on packaging. And we go eco wherever
we can, in terms of everything being
environmentally friendly. We pay probably
four times more for our tea ingredients for
example, where we would use whole leaf
tea, versus tea dust. Most teas use tea dust
because it’s cheap. You can imagine its kind
of like sawdust. It’s the left-over stuff on the
... you know from tea.
Jennifer Chapin: And yeah, so just unrelenting quality. I mean I
think that’s one of the reasons that KiKoKo is
standing out, because we just are relentless
on our quality. And we will not release things
if they’re not up to our standard on quality.
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah. Then our ... I think I told about rule
number four, which is generosity of spirit.
And five, which is laugh a lot. You know things
can go horribly wrong, and at the end of the
day we’ve all got a roof over our head, and

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we’re all safe, and we’re not lacking for much

here. You know people at KiKoKo. So, let’s
not take ourselves too seriously. Let’s make
sure we laugh. You know keep a good sense
of humor about things.
Jody B. Miller: And rule six?
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah. Our rule number six is make an impact.
We believe strongly in giving back and paying
it forward.
Jody B. Miller: I love it. You’ve done that with other
entrepreneurial ventures. Like what you do in
the Congo. Can you talk about that?
Jennifer Chapin: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. I love getting
that question and being asked about our work
in the Congo. We have an organization called
Cynthia’s Sisters. That’s C-Y-N-T-H-I-A-S. And
then sisters. cynthiassisters.org. And we send
young Congolese women to law school in the
Congo.
Jody B. Miller: Which is unbelievable. I mean isn’t that one
of the most violent places in the world?
Jennifer Chapin: It is the worst place in the world to be a
woman. They’ve used rape as a weapon of
war. And millions of women have been raped
and brutalized. And we ... Amanda had gone
on a couple of humanitarian trips to the
Congo and had just has seen the atrocities
first hand. And this is almost about six years

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ago, after she’d gotten back from a trip to

the Congo. Just learning about some of her
experiences there, I just said, “We can’t not
do something.”
Jennifer Chapin: And so, we activated around this idea. We
wanted to really take a systemic approach
to change. And rather than just dropping in
some relief or sort of a band aid approach,
where this was going to be long term
systemic change. And the idea being that if
you educate a young woman, where they
become a lawyer, you know she’ll become ...
Hopefully they’ll become the future leaders
of a country, and the future advocates, and
teachers, and judges, and activists in their
community.
Jennifer Chapin: So, we’re very dedicated to that program
and collaborate with ABA ROLI, which
stands for American Bar Association Rule
Of Law Initiative. And they’re our “boots
on the ground”, so they find and administer
the program for us. And then we’re the
fundraising arm.
Jennifer Chapin: But that ... And that’s you know ... Amanda
and I, we’ve been friends for about 25 years.
But we founded Cynthia’s Sisters, like I say,
almost six years ago. We knew we could
work together, and we knew we had a similar
approach to just life, and how to show up

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in the world. And so, when this opportunity

came around with cannabis, we just couldn’t
help our ... we couldn’t resist.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, you said let’s join forces again. That’s
such a great, honorable, noble, wonderful
thing to do for these young women. I love
that. And back to KiKoKo, I was just reading
a statistic that the U.S. legal cannabis market
is projected to triple by 2025 to 25 billion.
Where do you see KiKoKo fitting into that
mix? Is it going to be tea, is it going to be
other products?
Jennifer Chapin: We ... well we talk ... now we talk about
KiKoKo, we launched with tea a year and a
half ago. And that if we could do tea, we felt
like we could do anything, and that we would
have a platform to launch other products.
So, the tea is just the start for us. And we’re
launching new products next month. We’ve
got a honey shot coming out. We’re doing
products with honey.
Jody B. Miller: Ooh nice.
Jennifer Chapin: We’ll be doing tinctures. We’ll be doing pre-
rolled. We’ll be doing a ready to drink. And
so, in terms of how we fit into that zillion
dollar landscape, I mean we really hope to
be a leading health and wellness company
focused on products for women. I mean
obviously we’d love for men to enjoy our

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products as well. But you know the market

is just really lacking on products that are
focused on women. We hope to play a
big role.
Jody B. Miller: Well I wish you such luck on that. And when
it comes to expanding, you have a lot of
business and start up background raising
money. How has that been going, and where
do you see that going as you expand your
product line?
Jennifer Chapin: Well, you need money to fuel an operation
like this. There’s no question about it. We’re
very fortunate that we have a wonderful
network of investors, and very supportive
group of investors. We’ll be raising a series
A round, which we’re preparing for now. So
that will hopefully close at some point in Q1
of next year.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, we have a very ambitious road map,
and we have a very deep innovation product
development pipeline. And we feel like this
is a very unique opportunity in time, in
this particular industry. And that we need
to run really quickly to get these products
developed. In terms of expanding on that
product line, it takes capital. We need to
have good partnerships with those folks that
have access to that kind of capital that we’re
looking for.

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Jody B. Miller: Especially those that aren’t assholes.

Jennifer Chapin: And no assholes.
Jody B. Miller: So, you just cut a lot of them out.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah you do.
Jody B. Miller: So, Jen what advice ... I love that you and
Amanda are female entrepreneurs, a female
owned company. You will be up for lots of
awards, just for that alone. What advice do
you have for other women entrepreneurs out
there?
Jennifer Chapin: Go for it. And make sure you’re doing it for
the right reasons. I mean, it has to be one of
these things that just keeps you up at night.
And that you just can’t keep yourself from
doing or thinking about. I used to do coaching
and leadership development, for a period of
time, and I was using my coaching skills just a
couple of weeks ago with somebody that has
a new concept that she’s bringing to life.
Jennifer Chapin: One thing led to another, I offered to spend
a little bit of time with her, review her idea.
And it was really interesting, she had a
phenomenal idea, and she had received a
lot of coaching, mostly from men. And she
just had this very kind of vanilla approach to
telling her story.
Jennifer Chapin: Yet she’s a super engaging young woman.
And she has a phenomenal story to tell. And

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yeah, we did some exercises and I said, I said

to her, “Tell me what you’re mad about. I
mean what are you mad about with this idea?
What is keeping you up at night? Why do you
have to do this idea? Get kind of angry about
it ... “ Because her idea was around people
of color not being recognized in the world
and creating a platform for that. It’s a much
longer story than that.
Jennifer Chapin: And I just want to see why she was fired
up about that. So, I talk a lot about feeling
a fire in your belly. Make sure you feel that
fire in your belly and really understand why
you’re doing something. And a great book
for folks to read if they haven’t read it is
Simon’s Sinek’s book, Why. And I would really
encourage anybody starting a company to
think about why you’re doing it. And make
sure that that why comes through, that your
passion comes through. And that you’re just
going to do whatever it takes to get that idea
off the ground.
Jennifer Chapin: And it was really interesting to see the way
this young woman really came to life after
just giving her permission to get on her soap
box and tell people why she was passionate
about this. And I’m sure you’ve seen the same
thing in investment banking, what would you
typically say to people?

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Jody B. Miller: Well it’s funny, because I would always look

at the numbers, and the projections. And a
lot of times when companies came in to pitch
for money, they will say, “Well, we’re the only
ones that do it,” or “we’re the best. And no
one else is going to be like us.” And I think to
be a little more realistic is what I used to say
when I was a banker. Be a little more realistic
about your market. There are competitors.
Just like you said, you know you and Amanda
found a way to be unique, but of course there
are other tea companies. But you focused
on women. You just narrowed in and kept
narrowing in and narrowing in.
Jody B. Miller: What do you say to someone, because you’ve
had other ventures that you’ve decided not
to go with…when is the right time for an
entrepreneur to say, “This is not the way to
go?” Even if they have their fire in the belly in
the beginning.
Jennifer Chapin: Yeah, it’s interesting because I got to the point
where I was parallel processing with both
concepts, with both company ideas. This idea
that has come to fruition, that Amanda and
I created, KiKoKo. And then I was working
on another idea. And it just became clear to
me within six months, that there was just a
much bigger industry opportunity. There’s
a lot of education that’s involved with what
we’re doing.

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Jennifer Chapin: And it’s momentum with cannabis, and with

this other concept I was working on, there
wasn’t necessarily the momentum behind it.
Momentum’s one of the biggest assets that an
entrepreneur can utilize - or for a company. And
we’re just in this unique position that we’ve
got such tremendous momentum within the
company, but also within the industry.
Jennifer Chapin: And I think that really informed me. It’s like,
“Okay, this is it ... And as much as I love this
other concept, and I still think there’s a place
for it in the world, and I would love for some
day to see it happen… I just needed to be
realistic.” At the end of the day you need to
put food on the table. I didn’t have unlimited
bandwidth in terms of exploring ... I just didn’t
have that flexibility in terms of exploring
different ideas to get off the ground.
Jennifer Chapin: At some point you’ve got to be realistic. And
I was realistic. And I have a great partner in
Amanda. And that makes a big difference.
We have very complimentary skill sets, so in
terms of our path to success, the pathway
was there for us teaming up together on this.
Jody B. Miller: It’s great that you saw that.
Jennifer Chapin: A lot of different factors kind of coalesced
together to really narrow the choices and say,
“Okay this is the idea that we felt really had a
chance.”

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Jody B. Miller: I totally get that. So, can they order directly
from your website? Or do they have to go
into a dispensary? How can people listening
now who are interested order the teas?
Jennifer Chapin: Yes, currently they can go into dispensaries.
We’re in almost 300 dispensaries now. The
best way to find us is to go to our website. And
then you can put in your zip code. There’s also
a number of delivery services that deliver our
product to your door. And we’re launching a
direct consumer program next month.
Jody B. Miller: That’s great.
Jennifer Chapin: And it won’t have full state-wide penetration
out the gate. But we’ll be adding various
cities each month, and eventually we hope to
have full state penetration with the direct to
consumer.
Jody B. Miller: And then can you move into other states?
And what about Canada? I mean it’s pretty
prevalent in Canada.
Jennifer Chapin: You can’t ship cannabis across state lines.
Because it’s still federally illegal. But what we
can do, is set up partnerships and licensing
agreements in other states. So, we could have
a KiKoKo Colorado, or a KiKoKo Massachusetts,
or wherever it’s legal - or KiKoKo Canada. We’re
actually in some pretty robust discussions with
some different partners now. You Whether it’s

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in Canada or different regions across the United

Stated, we would most likely work with a partner
to expand our program, and our product.
Jody B. Miller: Well, I am so proud of you.
Jennifer Chapin: Aww, thank you.
Jody B. Miller: I just love what you two and your team are
doing. And I love your high tea parties, along
with your rule of having some fun.
Jennifer Chapin: Absolutely.
Jody B. Miller: And for anyone listening, who’s interested
in learning more about KiKoKo, and Jen and
Amanda, go to KiKoKo.com. You’ll really have
some fun on the site too. There’s ... When
you look at Jen and Amanda’s bios, they’re
pretty cute and fun. And you can tell you
are serious, but you also know how to be
lighthearted. And I think that’s a really good
balance for successful entrepreneurs.
Jennifer Chapin: We do to. Thank you for recognizing that.
And thank you for having me on your show.
Appreciate it. This is a lot of fun.
Jody B. Miller: For me too.
Jennifer Chapin: And love what you’re doing.
Jody B. Miller: Well thanks for being on the MISOGI Method
Jen, and I look forward to seeing you soon.
Jennifer Chapin: All right. Hey, thank you so much Jody. Take it
easy.

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Geoffrey Berwind: Becoming an Unforgettable Speaker

SS Licensed Photo

Jody B. Miller: Welcome to the Misogi Method- Breaking

Through Barriers to Find meaning, Success,
and Happiness That Lasts. I’m your host,
Jody B. Miller. Today, I have the honor of
interviewing Geoffrey Berwind, one of the
foremost experts on how the power of
storytelling can take your public speaking
presentations to a level you never thought
possible. I mean, we’re talking actually walking
out on stage with nerves like confidence that
you know you’re going to nail it, all because
Geoffrey coaches you every step of the way.
Welcome to the show, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey B.: Great to be with you, Jody, and you remind me
of there was an article, it may have been in the
Wall Street Journal a year or two ago that they
took a survey of a lot of people. There are five
top fears and public speaking was the first fear
over death. Most people would rather die ...
Jody B. Miller: Oh my god.

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Geoffrey B.: ... like, “Oh my god,” so I think public speaking,

itself, could be regarded as a Misogi.
Jody B. Miller: Yes. Well, you know Misogi as well because,
with full disclosure to our listeners, Geoffrey
coached me, and we’re going to get into that
process later. So that any of you who are
looking to speak more in the public arena,
maybe do a TEDx talk, you’re going to learn a
lot today from Geoffrey. Just to put Geoffrey’s
expertise in perspective, I mean, you have
coached thousands of authors, speakers,
and business owners through one-on-one
coaching and workshops; and more than
50 speakers who have landed and delivered
TEDx talks. I mean that’s huge, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey B.: It’s really been exciting for me to help people
really get their message out, and their
mission through speaking. Certainly, the TEDx
platform is so wonderful worldwide, and I’m
so proud of you how you did your TEDx talk.
It’s just that is unique platform. It’s not easy,
but it’s really about a central idea that’s gonna
make a difference in the world. So it’s been
a real honor to work with people. I have 13
clients about to do their TEDx talk in a couple
weeks, and just cheering them on. It really
is. As you remember, the last week or so, it’s
constant revision, refining, and polishing to
get it to where it needs to be.

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Jody B. Miller: Yes, and we’ll get into talking about that
process because it was just such an amazing
experience. I want to go back a little bit in
time and ask you how you get your start in
public speaking, coaching, and the whole
idea of storytelling?
Geoffrey B.: Yeah, thank you. I’ll try to shorten a longer
story, but sort of fell into it. For those of you
listening to the podcast who are in the middle
of reinventing yourself, I’ve been called the
master of reinvention. I had to. I was brought
up to run my family retail stores out of
Philadelphia, outside of Philadelphia. It came
time in my young 40s to start closing them
down, and I was trying to wonder what to
do with my life, ended up opening a theater
outside of Philadelphia to try to help a town
have an economic renaissance, did some
unusual stuff there. That got me on the radar
of an organization called Historic Philadelphia,
which partners with the National Park Service
and for all the millions of tourists that come
to Philadelphia. We were tasked, in 2004, to
start a storytelling program called Once Upon
A Nation.
Geoffrey B.: Jody, I can claim I never thought I could claim
this in terms of the Misogi and the reinvention;
but I can call myself a pioneer in the field of
storytelling, because in 2004 really wasn’t

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a big discussion point yet for corporate of

nonprofits around the world. We created this
tourism program still running. I got to run that
program for seven years and saw thousands
of interactions, what works for a story. This is
an outdoor storytelling project. On top of it
all, making a boring topic, American history,
come to life. I’ve been in the trenches for
many, many years doing this, and now help
people outside of the history field as well.
Jody B. Miller: You really impressed upon me the value of
stories. How important is that when someone is
speaking? Whether they’re speaking for a small
group, a company, an audience, a conference,
a TEDx, how important is the story piece?
Geoffrey B.: I would say a primary importance because of
what it uniquely does. For a time, we would
say as a society, we were in the information
age. I don’t believe we’re in the information
age any longer because of the internet and
social media et cetera. We are now in the
over information age.
Jody B. Miller: True.
Geoffrey B.: We’re information over saturated,
overwhelmed, but we just have too much,
right, and our brains get fried. What’s great
about storytelling? First of all, I call it primal
technology, because it’s the oldest thing we do
as communicators. When we’re sharing our

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stories, and I noticed it’s not telling our stories

but sharing our stories, the neuroscience
behind it is our brains are being tapped at our
oldest parts of our brains. When we’re sharing
our stories, as speakers especially, certainly in
books and everything like that, we’re tapping
our ancient brain. They’ve been doing MRIs.
What happens to our brains when a story is
being heard it lights up in different areas, and
dopamine is being released. So, in a nutshell,
when you’re sharing a story as a speaker,
you’re establishing an emotional connection
with your audiences. You’re certainly brought
into teach stuff, right?
Jody B. Miller: Right.
Geoffrey B.: I could open up anything online to learn
something. What is the advantage that a
speaker has? It’s a human talking to other
humans. The use of stories, especially maybe
in the beginning of a talk to establish that
bond is extremely important, and then you
go ahead and teach stuff. The storytelling
aspect, which both illustrates ideas and also
establishes an emotional connection, is why
it’s so important.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I really believe that having gone through
the process. Let’s say you get a new client,
and you have so many and you’re in such high
demand. Like you said, you have 13 more that

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are giving talks. When you get a new client,

what is your process? I mean I know what we
went through, but do you have a standard
process when you first meet someone that
wants to give a speech?
Geoffrey B.: Well, of course, I always hope people are like
you because we instantly figured we got each
other. We were having fun right from ...
Jody B. Miller: A lot of fun.
Geoffrey B.: Your texting and like, “I just sent you
something.” I’m like, “I see it.” Actually, even
though that I’m half-joking, I regard myself not
as much as a coach as a collaborator. In the ideal
situation, like you and I, it’s like two halves of
a brain working together. That’s the first part
of my processes is just really the bond with my
clients so that we’re really co-collaborators.
Secondly, you know what I like to see people
do. Most people, I believe, especially for an
entrepreneur or you have a small business,
or you’re a speaker, typically, you are trying to
be of service. You’re trying to help. One of the
early things I’d like to do is help people craft
a mission statement, a mission tied to their
business. How they are healing something
broken in the world? No matter what the field
is. The first thing is I help them create their
mission statement. Then, we create ... I call it
the “Why I do what I do” story.

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Geoffrey B.: We could also call it your origin story or

one of your signature stories, but it’s the
approximately seven-minute story we
scripted out. We talked about what should
be the structure of it, that really could
either be in the beginning of a presentation
or somewhere within the presentation.
Remember storytelling, it’s not about the data,
and the statistics, and the teaching, and all
the good advice. It’s about people. It’s about
the emotional connection, as I said earlier. A
story is gonna focus in on the who, and the
why, and then the teaching aspects of a talk
would be more about the how, and the what,
but it’s the who and the why. Those are the
first two steps. Then, obviously, we create this
wonderful, ideal script that my clients try out
and polish and we practice it. That’s part of a
larger presentation. Certainly, in a TEDx talk,
for example, the story should not be the only
part of the talk, but it should be in there, and
other people’s stories as well, to illustrate the
idea that’s being introduced in the TEDx talk.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, so you don’t want to have it’d be
such that the speaker tells their story as the
entire talk.
Geoffrey B.: Well, in fact, it wouldn’t be accepted. The
TEDx organizer would not accept that. It’s
meant to be an idea. So, focusing it on TEDx

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for a moment, for you, the Misogi. That’s the

central idea. The tagline for TEDx’s ideas worth
spreading. It’s not stories worth spreading.
It’s ideas worth spreading. There’re aspects,
there’s components of a good TED or TEDx
talk; and I would say storytelling is an aspect
of it but doesn’t need to dominate it.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, I felt that after you and I went back and
forth and worked on it, and fine-tuned, and
then walked away and thought about it, and
came up with other Aha directions, it evolves.
When you’re giving a speech or you’re giving
a TEDx talk, I mean, the whole process seems
to evolve. What it ends up with, what you
end up with is amazing to me, so different
than the beginning.
Geoffrey B.: Totally different. Well, and you did a great job
getting feedback from a variety of sources,
practice, practice, practice. What’s really
cool, the hardest part of landing a TEDx talk is
landing the talk. Once you’re accepted, what’s
cool is the organizer has a team of speaking,
curating team that they come alongside and
start giving advice as well. You’re working
with a coach like me, but you’re also working
with the organizers’ team. Everybody’s now
weighing in to try to make it the best talk
possible. I believe there’s four steps of a
TEDx talk. Step number one is the idea and

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the application. Step two is probably getting

ready to do the talk. Step three is the talk and
step four is the marketing of the talk.
Jody B. Miller: Right. It seems to me that the different
organizations because, as you know, I applied
to a few and ended up with the one, the TEDx
Oakland in Dallas, which was exactly perfect
for me with the tabula rasa blank slate. It
was perfect for my Misogi Method talk but
it seems as though each organization is very
different.
Geoffrey B.: Yeah, exactly. What was your experience? As
you apply to different organizers, what did
you observe about that? You’re absolutely
right.
Jody B. Miller: Yeah, well, I applied to one that was very tech-
focused in the Bay Area, and they really were
looking more for, “Are you the CEO of a big
tech company?” That they wanted to speak
to that audience. I thought even though I had
had a tech startup earlier in my career, that
just wasn’t the message I wanted to spread,
and it just didn’t fit. I applied to another one
in a town where I grew up in New Jersey, and
I thought that was kind of neat. I looked for
ones that really spoke to me and felt right
in my gut. When I found the one in Dallas, I
thought, “Oh, the blank slate is exactly along
the lines of what I’m trying to talk about;

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about reinventing, about redefining your

possible, about knowing the impossible is not
far away. Life is a blank slate, and you can’t
become anything you want to be. I resonated
with them, they resonated with me. The
process was fluid. It was wonderful. As you
said, once you’ve been accepted, they bend
over backwards to help you and put on the
best event possible.
Geoffrey B.: Well, exactly. I think you answered the
question. Well, the reality is TEDx organizers
get at least four times more applications
than they could accept, at least. If they have
room for 30 speakers, they’re gonna get 200
applications. It’s never personal. They’re
looking at what is this idea? Who is the
speaker, and how does it fit into the other
speakers we’re inviting? The organizers do
a variety of kinds of TED event, some are
called standard event. Those are once a year
a variety of topics, but there’s also themed
events like yours, tabula rasa. It’s a certain
theme. The ideal is I really advise my clients
at least five to 10 applications should be
out there all at the same time just to up the
possibilities of getting accepted, but also to
really what you explained, Jody, which is to
see where you’re mutually resonating with
each other, and how is there a fit.

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Jody B. Miller: Yeah, and so, when you’re delivering your

TEDx talk or you’re coming up with it, how
much should you involve the audience? Or
should you post questions to the audience? Or
you just up there really telling the story, giving
your idea; telling a story, giving your idea?
Geoffrey B.: It’s a perfect question. You’re almost thinking
ahead of time, what’s gonna be the feel of my
talk? One thing it really should not be is an
academic lecture. Notice, it’s not called a TED
lecture. It’s a TED talk.
Jody B. Miller: At least.
Geoffrey B.: So, it should be very personal, conversational.
I have definitely seen a lot of TED and TEDx
talks that are either including the audience
in a variety of ways. Remember, the original
acronym is Technology, Entertainment Design,
and have since then, of course, they’ve
expanded it to hundreds and hundreds of
topics beyond that; but they’re looking for
an idea and then, how are you gonna make
it engaging? There are many ways to make
it engaging. What I will say, as a storytelling
coach, is that storytelling, by nature, is an
interactive engaging experience because
we’re reacting, as I said earlier, to that primal
experience. I’ve seen speakers do stuff with
the audience. I remember seeing a TED talk,
I forget the title of it, but there was a balloon

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bouncing around the audience. It was part of

the idea of the point. There’s humor. There’s
performance art. They love stuff that is
outside the box. Really, if you think about it,
TED is a Misogi.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, I believe you’re right.
Geoffrey B.: It’s a Misogi.
Jody B. Miller: Yes, I agree with you, they’re all Misogi’s
because they’re all these new ways of looking
at things, new ways of going outside your
comfort zone. Unique ideas worth spreading
that really make you think. Geoffrey, can you
explain the difference between a TED and
TEDx for our listeners?
Geoffrey B.: In the eyes of the marketplace, they’re
exactly the same in terms of credibility. TED
organized many, many years ago and they
do an annual conference. It’s always a filmed
event in front of a live audience. Short talks
used to be 18 to 22 minutes. Now, the typical
ideal is 12 to 15. The TED organization, they
do one or two global conferences a year. To
be in the audience is by lottery, and the ticket
prices range from $8,500 - $50,000 a seat.
Jody B. Miller: That’s a lot.
Geoffrey B.: It’s by invitation only too. So, around 2008,
they said to themselves, “Look, we’re all
about ideas. We’re nonprofit. We’re trying to

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spread ideas. We need to give more people

an opportunity.” In a sense, they franchised
themselves, creating TEDx. X simply means
independently-organized local TED events.
All the same rules, same branding, the logo,
the red carpet, the three-camera shoot, the
live audience, the short talk, but there are
TEDx organizers all over the world. There
are thousands of them. Every year, they
have to reapply for their license from the
TED organization. TED will always be asking,
“Did you meet our guidelines? Did you break
our rules? Is it all great?” There are some
organizers that are more experienced than
others, some come and go. The difference is
minimal. Again, in the eyes of the marketplace
that you did a TEDx talk is of equal credibility
as if you did a TED talk.
Jody B. Miller: I can understand that because it is very hard
to land one.
Geoffrey B.: It really is. Only about 50% of organizers
even accept self-nominating. In many, many
cases, it’s by invitation-only. About half the
organizers, more or less, allow you via their
website to submit an application and that
application has to be done just right. Even
then, there’s layers. Sometimes you submit
an application and use that, and that gets
you invited to an audition, and then a phone

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call, then maybe you get the yes. It depends

on each organizer, but the basic guidelines,
procedures, branding, and credibility, I’d say,
would be the same.
Jody B. Miller: Thinking of a TEDx talk, I’m going to be
speaking at a healthcare conference coming
up. They want me to speak in a section of
the conference. There will be about 2500
people there that they’re doing sort of
TEDx-type talks. I’m finding more and more
conferences that I’m going to and speaking
at that they’re doing this, the short talks
because I mean, how? Like you said, we’re an
information overload. How long can someone
sit in an audience and watch a PowerPoint
presentation? Which, as you were explaining
to me, when I was preparing for my TEDx talk
slides alone are not necessarily a good thing
in a TEDx talk.
Geoffrey B.: Look, for years, when there’s been this phrase
out there, “death by PowerPoint”, right, but
they’re still going on because businesses
are stuck in the 20th-century model, which
is, “You know, we better show PowerPoints
and we’re just gonna read the slides because
this is what is expected.” It’s not, it’s not.
TED, Steve Jobs, and other things or even like
Twitter, they have, “Look, we have reduced
attention spans,” but they’ve also done a

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great job of how you can get your central

message distilled and polish to a core one
idea. I think it’s fantastic because how many
times, especially growing up in earlier days,
did we hear these 30-minute, 40-minute,
a two-hour talks or sermons or whatever.
We’re like, “God, why are you still talking?”
Jody B. Miller: Right, so true.
Geoffrey B.: Stop talking.
Jody B. Miller: When you’re doing a speech, it doesn’t even
have to be a TEDx talk, how important is a call
to action?
Geoffrey B.: Oh, very important. I think a great presentation
will definitely have a story. Many cases, start
with a story, start with why. Why do you do
this work? Look at a great presentation and
components, storytelling? How about what
TED would call outside evidence or scientific
background or whatever it’s gonna support
the idea itself; the thing you’re there to teach
or share. Then, you’re going to illustrate
the ideas, explore the ideas. Then you want
to give them what I call tools or takeaways.
The three things you could do now to move
into your Misogi. Give me the actual advice
and the steps to take. At the end, there’s
the call to action. The call to action could be
many, many things but it’s helping me you’ve
convinced me about something. You’ve

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informed me. Maybe you’ve inspired me as a

speaker; but, at the end of the day, I’m gonna
walk out of that room or that hall. I’ve heard
you as a great speaker and I’m gonna forget.
I need to go to the bathroom, get a cup of
coffee.
Geoffrey B.: We forget. But if a speaker says, “You know
what? Before you get in your car, I want you
to take out a Post-It and put on your rear-
view mirror you are fine. You are more than
fine.” Every time you look in the rear-view
mirror, you’re no longer looking into your
past. You’re looking into your future and you
stop talking. Then a beautiful ... You’re giving
them something tangible. A lot of my clients
say, “It’s wonderful.” They say, “I want to start
a movement.” That’s a blessing to hear that,
but a movement without showing me how to
do it is not gonna go anywhere. It’s the same
thing as saying, “Jody says to Geoffrey, ‘Let’s
go out and get a bite,’ but we never set the
date, so it never happened.” A call to action
tells me what to do next. The simple step I
could do today or tomorrow.
Jody B. Miller: Yep, and that’s what I did with mine. That was a
lot of your guidance. How does someone deal
with the nerve factor? Whether it’s a TEDx,
which is huge; I think when I speak in front of
conferences now, I’m pretty comfortable even

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if it’s 600 to 1000 to 2500 people but the TEDx

was definitely ... I definitely had the nerves
and I had to find a warm ... This is kind of
weird, but I had to find a warm room to make
my body temperature down. What would you
recommend for the whole nerve factor?
Geoffrey B.: It’s a question that I don’t think is easily
answered. I’ve learned in my life of that if
anybody ever said to me,” Oh, don’t feel that
way,” I resented them. Or they say, “Don’t
be scared. Don’t be nervous.” I’m like, “Well,
you’re not living what I’m living.” I think the
first step I would say is welcome to normal.
In fact, if people say to me, I’m not nervous,
I think to myself, “There’s something odd
here and you may be about to take a fall.” So,
nerves are fine. I think, I guess the first thing
is give yourself permission to be nervous. It’s
normal. Then, one thing I like to say is, we’ve
survived worse than that. I think it’s practice,
practice, practice knowing cold. I know, for
me having a circle dear, dear friends who are
rooting for me, knowing their routing and
even praying for me means a lot, if you are
spiritual being in prayer or meditation; and
just back to the original advice. Know what
your mission is. Look, nerves are normal. If
it’s too nervous, it may be because we are too
focused on ourselves, too focused.

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Geoffrey B.: When you could refocus yourself on your

mission, I’m here to be of service. What I
have to say could change somebody’s life
anywhere the world. I may never even know it.
That helps settle the nerves too. I think some
deep breaths, hydrating. There’re all sorts of
things you could do. I think getting a coach.
Somebody who is cheering you on who has
your back, especially for TED. I’ve seen TEDx
organizers, even though they’re well-meant
during the rehearsal day, and they throw a
curve ball half the time because the speaker
didn’t follow directions. What would you add
to that? You do a lot of speaking, Jody.
Jody B. Miller: I do.
Geoffrey B.: At your early days, what did you do to deal
with your nerves.
Jody B. Miller: I try to make direct eye contact with everyone
in the audience and tell myself I’m just talking
to one person at a time. For some reason,
that works really well for me. I just spoke at
UC Santa Barbara as one of the keynotes at
a career day. I had about maybe 400 or 500
people. I made a point of looking at everyone
in the eye and sharing my message with
them. I felt it relaxed me because I just told
myself I’m having a one-on-one conversation.
Geoffrey B.: So good. Yeah, it’s hard to beat that, isn’t it,
because you’re looking somebody in the eye.

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Now, have you had situations where the lights

on you are so bright, you really can’t make
eye contact?
Jody B. Miller: Yes.
Geoffrey B.: What do you do about that?
Jody B. Miller: I still pretend I’m doing it. During my TEDx
talk, it was that scenario, where they have
three cameras on you and the lights. I really
couldn’t see more than the front row, but I
made sure I looked in the direction of every
row and every seat as best I could. I just find
for me that works well, because I like to talk
to people, not at people.
Geoffrey B.: Exactly, it’s not a lecture. It’s a conversation.
Do you remember? What was the first
professional speech you ever gave?
Jody B. Miller: You know, it’s funny you ask that because I
was just talking about this the other day.
I was 18 years old and I was at a weekend
workshop. We had to go out into nature
to find something that represented who
we were. Get up in front of a group of 200
people, say what our nature piece was and
how it represented us. I had never spoken in
front of anyone other than sports and stuff
in high school or whatever. I went out, and I
got this mustard weed, you know the sticky-
green stocks with the clumps of yellow that
are all over the hillsides.

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Geoffrey B.: True.

Jody B. Miller: I was so nervous, Geoffrey. I was shaking,
shaking. I’m sure my voice was shaking. I
get up there, and I’m like, “Oh, well, I’m just
doing it.” I lifted it up above my head. I said,
“I am light.”
Geoffrey B.: A what?
Jody B. Miller: Because the mustard weed is a bunch of
yellow clumps going in all directions. Then I
went on to explain why I felt like I was light
and I spread light, and stuff like that.
Geoffrey B.: That’s really good. Did that help?
Jody B. Miller: Yes, it helped to have a prop. Once I just
explained it, I was able to get into the
conversation more. It was very nerve-
wracking. That’s why I wanted to ask you your
advice on nerves. Over time, I’ve become very
comfortable in speaking in front of people
because I really care. Like you say, you really
want to help effect positive change. You
want to give back and help. You do become.
That started, that does become part of your
mentality. You do get less and less nervous the
more you speak for sure, and you know that.
Geoffrey B.: Well, just to cue off that exactly. The last
piece of advice in this regard that I think
both you and I might offer is, you’ve gotta
just do it. Do it, do it, do it, do it. As you’re

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getting ready for a big talk, like a keynote

or a TEDx or something, the best thing you
can do is do the talk three times a day, if
it’s relatively short talk anyway, in front
of a variety of people. I don’t care if you
do in front of your dog. One of my TEDx
speakers, Colleen O’Grady, we were in our
last ... This was hilarious, Jody. We were a
last practice session. We did a video Skype.
She’s in Houston, I’m outside Philly. She was
doing a practice session, totally memorized.
I’m looking to give her feedback. Well, she
happened to be babysitting her daughter’s
yellow lab. The yellow lab got into the room
and kept running back and forth every time
Colleen tried to make a point.
Geoffrey B.: She was roaring with laughter. I was roaring
with laughter because the dog…there is no
TEDx interest there. That dog was like, “Why
are you not paying attention to me?” Our
dogs, our cats don’t really give a damn. They
just want to be petted.
Jody B. Miller: That’s so right.
Geoffrey B.: That can make us humble. Anyway, do the talk
a lot. That will also settle the nerves because
you’re doing it for different people.
Jody B. Miller: Good advice. So, you actually put on a TEDx
event recently didn’t you?

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Geoffrey B.: Yeah, I had the honor of partnering with a

local TEDx organizer. I got to ... I wanted to do
it both professionally and creatively. I paid a
very high fee to help support the organization,
and I also paid for the set, the stage, and
the lighting, the sound, and the reception
afterwards. They provided, of course, the
team and the cameras and everything. It’s a
partnership. One could do this kind of thing.
It’s not inexpensive but I got to be the host,
the emcee, and I selected the speakers, of
course, with their approval. Seven out of 10
speakers were people I was connected to,
who were somehow this is my theme. It was
called Fireside. It was 10 speakers, all of whom
somehow use the power of story to make a
difference in the world. In fact, my tagline was
TEDx Fireside, Illuminate the World. I gave
myself a pat on the back from that one.
Jody B. Miller: Oh, loved that.
Geoffrey B.: It was a really wonderful event, just to have
that experience. I wanted to get inside the
whole thing so that when I coach people, I
could answer very specifically out of direct
experiences. This is how it works. This is what
to expect, and how to say. It really increased
my respect for these TEDx organizers. You
know, it’s all volunteer. They’re not allowed
to be paid.

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Jody B. Miller: Yeah. Well, I know that even as a speaker,

you need to pay all your way and rehearsals,
hotel, but it’s so exciting. It’s so exciting.
Geoffrey B.: So exciting.
Jody B. Miller: You’re just glad to do it. I wanted to move on
a little bit before we wrap up to some of the
things you’re involved with now that like the
Unforgettable Speaker Training program.
Geoffrey B.: Yeah, in fact, may I give the website for that?
Jody B. Miller: Sure, absolutely.
Geoffrey B.: Sure. It’s www.unforgettablespeakertraining.
com. That’s just information if anybody
chooses to work with me. The focus of that
is everybody wants to take their speaking to
the next level. Somehow, a lot of my clients
want to go for TEDx talks, but not everybody.
They just want to get. I have a client who was
.... Interestingly, Jody, she was an aerialist
with Ringling Brothers.
Jody B. Miller: Wow.
Geoffrey B.: She did incredible things for years, but she
never spoke in public. She’s a little older now.
She says, “Oh my god. This is scarier than
going up in the high wire.” I’m like, “I got it.”
Jody B. Miller: No.
Geoffrey B.: She just wants to get going. One of the things
we produce as part of the program is that

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once, twice a year speaker showcases, where

people can get to come to a place outside
Philly. We set up a professional stage, and we
film them doing a 10-minute TED-like talk in
order to get them comfortable being on stage
and that gives them video collateral, showing
them an action in front of an audience.
Jody B. Miller: That’s great.
Geoffrey B.: Doing that, a lot of my work is either helping
people with their storytelling, creating a
presentation or going for and doing their
TEDx talks and I just love doing it.
Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome, and you’re so amazing. If
someone wants to get in touch with you and
learn more about working with you, do you
have any special deals you want to offer?
Geoffrey B.: Yeah, if they go to
unforgettablespeakertraining.com, my sales
team could discuss the program. People are
also welcome to email me directly, which is
geoffrey@rtri.com. I’d be happy to give you
a free consultation. Anything you want to do,
just to find out if there’s a match. Again, that
in my say, find out if there’s a match. It really
is a collaboration. I am a big believer that we
all need coaches for variety of stuff; whether
sports, parenting and definitely speaking. I
would love to work with people.

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Jody B. Miller: That’s awesome. Well, Geoffrey, thank you so

much for being on the show. I have had so
much fun getting to know you, working with
you. I admire your energy and your positive.
One of the things I loved about working with
you is that when you would give criticism, it
wasn’t criticism. It was very collaborative. It
was, “Well, how about this? Maybe let’s look
at it that way. Have you thought about this?
What other things in your life could play into
that?” It was just so much fun.
Geoffrey B.: Well, thank you for that. I just don’t believe
in the ... Who’s the guy in American Idol that
sort of tears people down?
Jody B. Miller: Oh, Simon.
Geoffrey B.: I think when we are putting ourselves out
there, when we’re doing a Misogi by being a
public speaker, you need to have somebody
being your cheerleader, to say you can do
it. Of course, giving you helpful criticism is
important, but to tear you apart, I just can’t
abide it. It’s not helpful, not helpful.
Jody B. Miller: Well, Geoffrey, thank you so much. You
have inspired so many listeners that have
probably been very nervous, but I hope all of
you listening now are willing to take a step
forward and get out there and do public
speaking. Even if it’s before a small team at
your office or a group in your community, get

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out there and do it. It’s really rewarding. It’s

exciting. When you see that you can affect
positive change in people’s lives, it feels so
great. Geoffrey, thank you so much for being
part of the Misogi Method, and I can’t wait to
just keep in touch with you.
Geoffrey B.: Well, thank you, Jody, and thank you for
all you do. You make me proud. Thank you
for all the difference you’re making to your
listeners. This is just great.
Jody B. Miller: Thank you. For all you, listeners, thank you
for joining me on Misogi Method. I’m Jody B.
Miller, and we’ll see you next time.

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 TEDx TALK TRANSCRIPT

OVER 1,000,000 VIEWS

March 2018 Jody B. Miller
STEP OUTSIDE THE OUTER LIMITS OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
17:03
• There was a time in my life when everything was falling
apart. My health, my marriage and myself. I needed to
re-discover me, but I needed a big idea about how to do
that.
• So… the last thing I thought I’d end up doing was fly on a
tiny plane (I hate flying), over hundreds of miles of forest
that looked like giant bunches of broccoli, and land on a
ridiculously small strip of dirt in the middle of the Amazon.
• Suddenly I was surrounded by thick jungle and people
who were mostly naked.
• I got to see fresh water pink dolphins that were really
pink. I rode in canoes past midnight with alligators on
all sides and swallowed something so exotic and toxic
that I had to throw up in front of a medicine man. A real
medicine man!
• It was a little crazy. Well, actually a lot crazy. But it was life
changing too. And I would do it again. Well, maybe not
that stuff I drank for the medicine man.

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• What about you?

• Have you ever felt like your life is falling apart? Or maybe
it’s become the same routine, like one big Ground Hog
day.
• And you start asking yourself questions like:
0 Is this all there is?
0 What is my purpose?
0 Why do I do what everyone tells me to do instead of
what I want to do?
0 Why isn’t my life more exciting and happier?
• I have been hearing questions like these for the past
14 years in my corporate and career strategy work with
MBA’s, PhD’s, and lots of Uber smart people.
• But here’s the thing, underneath it all, many of them are
really unhappy.
• As part of my work, I follow studies and polls about
happiness. A recent Harris Poll reported that we are 2%
happier than we were last year. 2%!
• I’d like to be happy about that, but that number went from
31-33%, which means that 2/3rds of us are still miserable.
• I believe unhappiness has become an epidemic in our
society, and I want to find a cure.
• So, a few years ago, I started researching ways people
could get out of the daily grind, which is grinding them
down, and into lives of purpose, passion and happiness.
• And that’s when I came across something interesting. I
came across people that were happy. Who were leading
inspiring lives and inspired others.
• If you look at your life, it’s really the most significant
events that define you. That define all of us.

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• And that’s what defined these people – and brought

them happiness.
• They did something remarkable that changed the
direction of their lives for the better.
• It’s called a MISOGI. M-I-S-O-G-I
• And no, it’s not a sushi roll. Although it sounds like it could
be a good one.
• A MISOGI actually started centuries ago, as a Japanese
Shintō ritual of cold-water purification after undergoing
a major challenge, like climbing the tallest mountain or
spending days in prayer.
• And then you step under a waterfall that’s so cold you
feel like you’re standing in your underwear in the middle
of Alaska - in winter, and you’re really cold and you’re
really wet.
• And, the idea behind this ancient ritual is that the
icy water washes away the old you by shocking your
system.
• But then, thermogenesis, which is your bodies internal
warming system, turns on as the new you is ushered
in. You become calmer, and surer of your place in the
world. Some people believe the ritual literally heals you
physically and emotionally from the inside out.
• You can still do the ancient ceremony today, but you can
also do it with a modern twist.
• Let me give you the definition of what a MISOGI has
become in our time.
• It’s something intentional, that you plan, and that takes
you outside the outer most limits of your comfort zone—
beyond the realm of what you thought was possible.

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• It’s not setting a goal, like going to the gym, or ticking

something off a bucket list, like skydiving, or even stepping
just a bit outside your comfort zone, which many of us
rarely do, and when we do, the joy doesn’t always last.
Why? Because you may not be thinking big enough…you
may not be stretching enough.
• I like to think of a MISOGI as the Big Reach.
0 What do I mean by that?
0 It’s actually easy to tell if you are on the right track to
your MISOGI, because it really only has one main rule.
A MISOGI must have a 50% or greater chance of failure
– which means it has a good chance of success too.
0 And, there are some minor rules too, like, it can’t kill
you or harm others.
0 Sounds a little crazy, right? Like my Amazon experience.
0 But if it’s not big enough, then you’re not invested
enough, and chances are you’ll let it go or it will wear
off and real change won’t happen for you.
0 When you do a MISOGI, you gain a sense of clarity, calm,
confidence, courage and happiness — which lasts.
0 And the best part, is when you achieve your MISOGI
(or even come close), it becomes part of your comfort
zone, and you’ll want to do another one.
• I’d like to share the stories of a few people who have done
MISOGIS that have changed their lives:
• You’ve probably heard of MICHELANGELO, right?
• One of the most celebrated artists in the history of the
world.
• Well, I’d like to tell you a different story about
Michelangelo.

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• Michelangelo was actually a tortured soul. As a sculptor,

he took on commissions that he didn’t want to do
because he needed the money, and he abandoned
projects he really wanted to do because he needed the
money.
• One day Michelangelo stood before a 17-foot piece of
rock. Many sculptors had attempted to create an epic
piece of art from it, and they had all failed.
• But as Michelangelo stood in front of the blank slate,
he knew, deep in his soul, what it was supposed to be.
And maybe for the first time, he ignored the opinions of
others and listened to his own voice.
• This is a key element of figuring out your MISOGI. Ignore
the chatter and listen to you.
• Michelangelo chose to take on the challenge. And at the
ripe old age of 26, he started chiseling away at the hunk
of marble. He didn’t even hear the joking of the doubters
or feel their jealousy – he had conviction.
• Two short years later Michelangelo unveiled The David,
one of the most famous pieces of art ever created. If you
haven’t seen it, go to Florence, Italy and be amazed.
• And that experience gave Michelangelo confidence,
clarity, courage and happiness. And the effect became
part of his comfort zone.
• So, what happened next? Did you know that Michelangelo
never thought of himself as a painter? Yet a few years
later he painted the Sistine Chapel – no big deal.
• He realized that his life had no limits.
• Some of you may be thinking, I’m too old to do a MISOGI.
Well guess what? It’s never too late.

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• It wasn’t too late for Harlan. Harlan dropped out of school

in the seventh grade and job hopped his way through
life. He retired with little money and little meaning. As
he drifted at a slower pace, he had time to think about
what he loved. For Harlan, it meant going back to his
childhood.
• Sometimes the secret to our MISOGI lies in what we loved
as a child.
• And Harlan loved to cook with his mom. That made him
really happy.
• And so, at 65 years old, Harlan took a chicken recipe
he had created with his mom and made the best fried
chicken anyone had ever tasted. Kentucky Fried Chicken
was born, and Colonel Harlan Sanders spent the rest of his
life promoting his passion and defending its excellence.
He died a very happy and wealthy man.
• Since I came back from the Amazon, I have been writing
a lot about work and life happiness. This is one of the
things I discovered about me. That my creative side had
been dormant and now it was blossoming all around me.
In my last book, I highlight the stories of everyday people,
incredible people really, who have done remarkable
things to change their lives for the better too – just like
Michelangelo and Colonel Sanders.
• One of those people is my friend DARREN, whose story is
a testament to the power of a MISOGI.
• At 19, Darren wanted to become a professional golfer (he
was potentially that good), but a snowstorm accident left
him a paraplegic instead. He was pretty depressed and
needed around the clock care — he still does.

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• As time went on, Darren’s doctors told him he had to

move to a moister climate for his lungs, so Darren moved
to Maui, where he became friends with world class wind
surfers and a famous windsurfing board shaper.
• One day, while hanging with his buddies, Darren told
them that he had a strong desire, a calling really, to
windsurf on the ocean, but he knew the chances were
basically zero.
• But his friends loved the challenge too, and so, two years
later, they had built an adaptive vessel that enabled
Darren to experience windsurfing across the channel
from Maui to Molokai.
• He told me it was the happiest day of his life. The happiest.
• Another element of a MISOGI is to surround yourself with
support – no naysayers aloud – and when you do, your
tribe will benefit from your MISOGI too.
• It was a big high five day for all of them.
• The joy from Darren’s MISOGI became part of his comfort
zone and he started to think about painting again.
• He had learned to paint as a kid, but it was more
challenging now. So he had a splint with a paintbrush
strapped to his hand, and he used duct tape, which he
could sort of stick on paper with the help of moving
his shoulders. Then someone would turn the paper so
that he could make the strokes. Darren created one
of a kind painting that now cover the walls of fancy
restaurants in Las Vegas and TV Show sets, like the
Food Network.
• Darren’s life is fuller and happier than it’s ever been.
• I can’t wait to see what he does next.

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• So regardless of what condition you are in, how old you

are, or even your financial position, if you want lasting,
positive change, a MISOGI can get you there.
• And here’s how you do it:
0 Take the time to unplug from the hectic pace of the 24/7
lives we live. Put away your cell phone and get quiet.
0 Go for a long walk in nature, sit on a park bench,
meditate or whatever allows you to spend time
with you.
0 Listen to your deep inner voice, which will reveal your
MISOGI in time.
0 Commit to your MISOGI and surround yourself with
supporters. No naysayers allowed.
0 Then do your MISOGI.
0 And once you do (or even come close), the positive
effects will become part of your new comfort zone.
• I started by sharing with you about one of the MISOGIS
I did in order to find myself again. And by the way, the
throwing up wasn’t that bad.
• But there’s one more MISOGI I want to share with you that
is very personal and that I’ve never talked about before.
0 I had three children in three years. That alone could
be a MISOGI. They are all wonderful and I’ve always
said, we are a team.
0 My oldest son, Christopher, is significantly delayed –
he’s more than half his life behind.
0 Several years ago, I went to a school meeting where
all of the people around the table (the principal,
his teacher and all the specialists) talked to me
about Chris.

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0 Jody, Chris can’t communicate, he only speaks in

vowels. He can’t connect with the other kids because
he can’t communicate. So, we’ve decided that Chris
needs to speak by computer.
0 Well, I cried at that meeting – a lot.
0 But through my tears, something deep in my soul spoke
to me. I would teach Chris to talk. It was my MISOGI.
0 When I told the group that I would do this, they just
shook their heads and said it was impossible.
0 What had I done? How would I do this impossible
thing I had set my mind to? I had no idea.
0 But what I did know was that Chris loved to sing.
0 So, I got in touch with his speech therapist and asked
her what Chris was working on. If he was working on
the Ooh sound, I’d make up a song about the zoo or
stirring the brew.
0 I heard Chris say the B sound and then the Z sound,
and, eventually, all the sounds in the alphabet.
0 It took about 100 songs, but Chris learned to talk.
0 And now, as a young man, Chris is the happiest person
on the planet because he knows he is understood.
0 And I am the happiest mother because Chris is
understood.
• What about you?
• Are you ready to find your MISOGI?
• What big reach could you do this year that would be
a huge benchmark in your life and that could take you
beyond your outer most limits?
• Is it a trip? Maybe you’ll quit the job you’ve never liked
and join the Peace Corps.

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• Is it a physical feat? Maybe you’ll cycle across the country

– backwards.
• Is it a mission? Maybe you’ll help get closer to a cure for
an incurable disease.
• When you were born, your life had no limits, so don’t
limit your life now.
• Do a MISOGI. Do the Big Reach.
• And when you do, only good will come from it, including
happiness, that lasts.
Thank you.

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 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

J ODY SPEAKS AROUND THE WORLD, WRITES BOOKS AND

ARTICLES about finding meaning and happiness in work
and life, workplace collaboration and moving outside your
comfort zone to achieve peak performance. She contributes
to numerous publications, including Entrepreneur Magazine,
CEO Magazine, Bloomberg BNA, LinkedIn, The Huffington Post,
Thrive Global, Business Success Magazine, HR.com, Financial
Times and YPO Ignites Magazine. She is also interviewed
regularly on television, radio and global podcasts, and hosts the
top-ranked radio podcast,

The MISOGI Method.

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

Listen to The MISOGI Method Show on iTunes.

Jody’s most recent book, ‘the BIG little book of work
happiness’ is all about increasing happiness at work.
Jody’s top selling book in 2018 is ‘From DRIFT to SHIFT: How
Change Can Bring True Meaning and Happiness to Your Work
and Life,’ follows the lives of seasoned professionals who have
undergone shifts in their work and personal lives in order to find
happiness and meaning. It brings inspiration and clarity to those
trying to find their true path in life.
Her newest book, The MISOGI Method,’ an extension of
her TEDx talk, teaches a way to break through the perils of
unhappiness, regardless of socioeconomic position, to create
a life of meaning, purpose, love and joy that we never thought
possible.

348
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

VALUE OF PLAY
https://www.bbc.com/news/education-28658441
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/
S2444866416301234
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/6-reasons-children-need-
to-play-outside-2018052213880
https://www.thegeniusofplay.org/tgop/benefits/genius/benefits-
of-play/benefits-of-play-home.aspx?hkey=75c664db-cb16-4004-
8756-03ba00ba381e

TRADITIONS AND RITUALS

https://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-ritual-
and-tradition/
https://hbr.org/2013/12/new-research-rituals-make-us-value-
things-more
https://hbr.org/2010/12/the-value-of-ritual-in-your-wo
https://news.virginia.edu/content/evolution-modern-rituals-4-
hallmarks-todays-rituals

BENEFITS OF COLD
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4049052/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/
pii/0891584994900302
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4049052/

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.
pone.0161749
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17993252

TRADITIONAL MISOGI RITUAL

http://tsubakishrine.com/misogishuho/index.html
https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/143638475.pdf
http://pluralism.org/religions/shinto/the-shinto-tradition/
purification-wand-or-waterfall/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXaJbh9e-Po
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/life/2018/12/14/travel/power-spot-
tucked-away-shima-peninsula/#.XGCXqM9KjRY
http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/shrine-guide-2.shtml

MODERN DAY MISOGI

http://www.tsubakishrine.org/ceremonies/omairi.html
https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/143638475.pdf
https://www.facebook.com/pg/Misogi-
Challenge-1596281460605579/posts/
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/features/
athletes/alex-honnold/most-dangerous-free-solo-climb-yosemite-
national-park-el-capitan/
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/products/books/guinness-
world-records-2019
https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/the-man-who-tried-to-
read-all-the-books-in-the-world
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201512/5-
benefits-stepping-outside-your-comfort-zone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IutpAXMzf7U
https://awakenthegreatnesswithin.com/30-motivational-quotes-
to-help-you-get-out-of-your-comfort-zone/

350
 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

MISOGI METHOD PODCAST

https://www.misogiradio.com/

MISOGI METHOD JOURNAL

The MISOGI Method Journal

EMBRACING CHANGE
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2015/01/pc
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200306/our-brains-
negative-bias
https://www.thoughtco.com/anatomy-of-the-brain-cerebral-
cortex-373217
https://www.amazon.com/Drift-Shift-Change-Meaning-Happiness/
dp/1683502922

PERSONALITY TESTS
https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/take-the-
mbti-instrument/home.htm?bhcp=1
https://www.winslow-assessment.com/personality-assessment/
https://www.pearsonclinical.com/talent/products/100000323/
campbell-interest-and-skill-survey-ciss.html
https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/HEMCR/
https://www.arealme.com/left-right-brain/en/

BENEFITS OF YOUR MISOGI

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/body-sense/201007/
slow-movement-awareness-better-exercise
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/carla-schesser/the-
extraordinary-scienti_b_8353068.html
https://www.cnn.com/2013/10/11/business/the-science-behind-
positive-thinking/index.html

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 THE MISOGI METHOD

HOW TO DO YOUR MISOGI

https://www.amazon.com/10X-Rule-Difference-Between-Success/
dp/0470627603

UNPLUG
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fomo
https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/economy/
reports/2010/01/25/7194/the-three-faces-of-work-family-
conflict/
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress/index
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/
in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987
https://thriveglobal.com/stories/bill-gates-think-week/
https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/bill-gates-reads-50-
books-per-year-but-only-these-6-leadership-books-made-his-list-
of-recommendations.html
https://www.mensjournal.com/features/how-whole-foods-ceo-
went-vegan-and-got-fit-20160307/

OBSERVE AND RECORD

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/benefits-of-journaling
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-observational-
learning-2795402

THINK BIG
https://www.forbes.com/sites/dorieclark/2014/03/25/how-to-
think-big-in-work-and-life/#52ed8f4e4ae1

TAKE ACTION
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PR814K0/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tm

352