A Quick Look at Your Values – page 1
Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being. Values
are not about what you want to get or achieve; they are about how you want to behave or act
on an ongoing basis.
There are literally hundreds of different values, but below you’ll find a list of the most
common ones. Probably, not all of them will be relevant to you. Keep in mind there are no
such things as ‘right values’ or ‘wrong values’. It’s a bit like our taste in pizzas. If you prefer
ham and pineapple but I prefer salami and olives, that doesn’t mean that my taste in pizzas is
right and yours is wrong. It just means we have different tastes. And similarly, we may have
different values. So read through the list below and write a letter next to each value: V = Very
important, Q = Quite important, and N = Not so important; and make sure to score at least ten
of them as Very important.
1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life etc
2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating
experiences
3. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want
4. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, real; to be true to myself
5. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the
environment etc
6. Caring: to be caring towards myself, others, the environment etc
7. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, improve
8. Compassion: to act with kindness towards those who are suffering
9. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others
10. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or
others
11. Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations
12. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others
13. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty
14. Creativity: to be creative or innovative
15. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded and interested; to explore and discover
16. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behaviour that I value in myself or others
17. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice-versa
18. Excitement: to seek, create and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating or
thrilling
19. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others
20. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental
health and wellbeing
21. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances
22. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise
23. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable towards others
24. Forgiveness: to be forgiving towards myself or others
25. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities
26. Generosity: to be generous, sharing and giving, to myself or others
27. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others
and life
28. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others
29. Humour: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life
30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves
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Copyright Russ Harris, 2010 www.actmindfully.com.au www.thehappinesstrap.com
A Quick Look at Your Values – page 2
31. Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, dedicated
32. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things
33. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself -- emotionally or physically – in my
close personal relationships
34. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness
35. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing or caring towards myself
or others
36. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately towards myself or others
37. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now
experience
38. Order: to be orderly and organized
39. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from other’s points of view, and
weigh evidence fairly.
40. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want
41. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties.
42. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others
43. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g. taking charge,
leading, organizing
44. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking
45. Respect: to be respectful towards myself or others; to be polite, considerate and show
positive regard
46. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions
47. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection
48. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others
49. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings and actions
50. Self-care: to look after my health and wellbeing, and get my needs met
51. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing or improving in knowledge, skills,
character, or life experience.
52. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals
53. Sensuality: to create, explore and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses
54. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality
55. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself
56. Skilfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully
when using them
57. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or
others
58. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable
59. Insert your own unlisted value here:
60. Insert your own unlisted value here:
***
Once you’ve marked each value as V, Q, N (Very, Quite, or Not so important), go through all
the Vs, and select out the top six that are most important to you. Mark each one with a 6, to
show it’s in your top six. Finally, write those six values out below, to remind yourself this is
what you want to stand for as a human being.
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Copyright Russ Harris, 2010 www.actmindfully.com.au www.thehappinesstrap.com
LOVE WORK
(deepest, most meaningful relationships – including (paid work, studying/ education/ apprenticeships, and
children, partner, parents, close friends and relatives) unpaid work such as volunteering, or domestic duties)
My Values: My Values:
Short Term Goals: Short Term Goals:
Medium Term Goals: Medium Term Goals:
Long Term Goals : Long Term Goals :
PLAY HEALTH
(rest and relaxation, hobbies, creativity, sport, and all (physical, psychological, emotional, or spiritual health
forms of leisure, recreation and entertainment) and wellbeing.)
My Values: My Values:
Short Term Goals: Short Term Goals:
Medium Term Goals: Medium Term Goals:
Long Term Goals : Long Term Goals :
copyright Russ Harris 2010 25
www.thehappinesstrap.com
The Life Compass
In the main part of each large box, write a few key words about what is important or meaningful
to you in this domain of life: What sort of person do you want to be? What sort of personal
strengths and qualities do you want to cultivate? What you want to stand for? What do you want
to do? How do you ideally want to behave? (If a box seems irrelevant to you, that’s okay: just
leave it blank. If you get stuck on a box, then skip it, and come back to it later. And it’s okay if the
same words appear in several or all boxes: this helps you identify core values that cut through
many domains of life.)
Once you’ve done that for all boxes, go through them and in the upper small square inside each
box, mark on a scale of 0-10 how important these values are to you, at this point in your life: 0=
no importance, 10= extremely important. (It’s okay if several squares all have the same score.)
Finally, in the lower small square inside each box, mark on a scale of 0-10 how effectively you
are living by these values right now. 0= not at all 10= living by them fully (Again, it’s okay if
several squares all have the same score.)
Finally have a good look at what you’ve written. What does this tell you about: a) What is
important in your life? b) What you are currently neglecting?
Parenting Personal Leisure Spirituality
Growth
Health Work Community &
Environment
Family Intimate Social
Relationships Relationships Relationships
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Adapted with permission by New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
from Living Beyond Your Pain, J. Dahl & T. Lundgren, www.newharbinger.com
CLARIFYING YOUR VALUES (Adapted From Tobias Lundgren’s Bull’s Eye Worksheet)
Deep down inside, what is important to you? What do you want your life to stand for? What sort of qualities do you want to
cultivate as a person? How do you want to be in your relationships with others? Values are our heart's deepest desires for the way
we want to interact with and relate to the world, other people, and ourselves. They are leading principles that can guide us and
motivate us as we move through life. Values reflect what you want to do, and how you want to do it. They are about how you want
to behave towards your friends, your family, yourself, your environment, your work, etc.
Values are not the same as goals. Values involve ongoing action; they are like directions we keep moving in, whereas goals
are what we want to achieve along the way. A value is like heading West; a goal is like the river or mountain or valley we
aim to cross whilst traveling in that direction. Goals can be achieved or ‘crossed off’, whereas values are ongoing. (No
matter how far West you go, you never reach it!) For example, if you want to be a loving, caring, supportive partner, that is
a value: it involves ongoing action. In contrast, if you want to get married, that’s a goal - it can be ‘crossed off’ or
achieved. If you want a better job, that’s a goal. Once you’ve got it - goal achieved. But if you want to fully apply yourself
at work, contribute your best, and engage fully in what you’re doing, that’s a value: it involves ongoing action.
THE BULL’S EYE
The ‘Bull’s Eye’ is a values-clarification exercise designed by a Swedish ACT therapist called Tobias Lundgren. (I have
rewritten it.) The dartboard on the next page is divided into four important domains of life: work/education, leisure,
relationships and personal growth/health. To begin with, please write down your values in these 4 areas of life. Not
everyone has the same values, and this is not a test to see whether you have the "correct" ones. Think in terms of general
life directions, rather than in terms of specific goals. There may be values that overlap – e.g. if you value studying
psychology, that may come under both Education and Personal Growth. Write down what you would value if there were
nothing in your way, nothing stopping you. What’s important? What do you care about? And what you would like to work
towards? Your value should not be a specific goal but instead reflect a way you would like to live your life over time. For
example, to accompany your son to a football game might be a goal; to be an involved and interested parent might be the
underlying value. Note! Make sure they are your values, not anyone else’s. It is your personal values that are important!
1.Work/Education: refers to your workplace & career, education and knowledge, skills development. (This may include
volunteering and other forms of unpaid work). How do you want to be towards your clients, customers, colleagues,
employees, fellow workers? What personal qualities do you want to bring to your work? What skills do you want to
develop?
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2.Relationships: refers to intimacy, closeness, friendship and bonding in your life: it includes relationships with your
partner, children, parents, relatives, friends, co-workers, and other social contacts. What sort of relationships do you want
to build? How do you want to be in these relationships? What personal qaulities do you want to develop?
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3.Personal Growth/Health: refers to your ongoing development as a human being. This may include include organized
religion, personal expressions of spirituality, creativity, developing life skills, meditation, yoga, getting out into nature;
exercise, nutrition, and addressing health risk factors like smoking.
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© Dr Russ Harris, 2008 www.thehappinesstrap.com 1
4.Leisure: refers to how you play, relax, stimulate, or enjoy yourself; your hobbies or other activities for rest, recreation,
fun and creativity.
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THE BULL’S EYE: Read through your values, then make an X in each area of the dart board, to represent where you
stand today. An X in the Bull’s Eye (the centre of the board) means that you are living fully by your values in that area of
life. An X far from Bull’s Eye means that you are way off the mark in terms of living by your values.
Since there are four areas of valued living, you should mark four Xs on the dart board.
I am living fully by I am acting very
my values inconsistently with
my values
Work/ Leisure
Education
Personal growth/ Relationships
Health
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© Dr Russ Harris, 2008 www.thehappinesstrap.com 2
