Research Proposal: The Impact of Catnip on Human Produc-
tivity
Introduction
It is a well-established fact that cats exhibit increased levels of euphoria and playfulness after expo-
sure to catnip. While the effects on felines are clear, the potential impact of catnip on humans re-
mains largely unexplored. This research proposes to investigate the hypothesis that exposure to cat-
nip will significantly enhance human productivity, creativity, and overall job satisfaction.
Research Objectives
1. To determine the optimal dosage of catnip required for maximum human productivity.
2. To assess the correlation between catnip consumption and creativity in various professional
settings.
3. To evaluate the long-term effects of chronic catnip use on human health and well-being.
Methodology
A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study will be conducted involving a diverse group
of participants from various occupational backgrounds. Participants will be randomly assigned to
one of three groups:
Group A: Catnip group - Participants will consume a standardized dose of catnip daily.
Group B: Placebo group - Participants will consume a placebo substance identical in ap-
pearance to catnip.
Group C: Control group - Participants will not consume any substances.
Productivity, creativity, and job satisfaction will be measured using a combination of self-reported
questionnaires, standardized tests, and objective performance metrics.
Expected Outcomes
It is anticipated that the results of this study will revolutionize the workplace. By harnessing the
power of catnip, we can unlock human potential and create a more productive, creative, and enjoy-
able work environment. Potential applications include:
Catnip-infused coffee and energy drinks
Catnip-scented office supplies
Catnip-themed productivity apps
Budget
The majority of the research budget will be allocated to the purchase of high-quality catnip, placebo
substances, and industrial-sized catnip dispensers. Additional funds will be required for participant
compensation, data analysis software, and the development of a feline-themed research laboratory.
Conclusion
This research has the potential to make a significant contribution to the fields of psychology, human
resources, and horticulture. By exploring the untapped potential of catnip, we can create a brighter
future for all.
Note: While this proposal is intended to be humorous, it is important to emphasize the importance
of rigorous research methodology and ethical considerations in any scientific endeavor.
Research Objectives
4. To determine the optimal dosage of catnip required for maximum human productivity.
5. To assess the correlation between catnip consumption and creativity in various professional
settings.
6. To evaluate the long-term effects of chronic catnip use on human health and well-being.
Methodology
A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study will be conducted involving a diverse group
of participants from various occupational backgrounds. Participants will be randomly assigned to
one of three groups:
Group A: Catnip group - Participants will consume a standardized dose of catnip daily.
Group B: Placebo group - Participants will consume a placebo substance identical in ap-
pearance to catnip.
Group C: Control group - Participants will not consume any substances.
