IF I WERE
YOU
INTRODUCTION - NARRATOR
A VERY GOOD MORNING TO ONE AND
ALL PRESENT HERE, TODAY WE THE
STARLIGHTS WILL BE ENACTING THE
PLAY IF I WERE YOU. LET’S DELVE INTO
THE INTRIGUING WORLD OF “IF I WERE
YOU”, A CAPIVATING PLAY THAT
WEAVES MYSTERY, SUSPENSE,
SURPRISE AND HORROR. “IF I WERE
YOU” INVITES US TO PONDER: WHAT
WOULD WE DO IF WE FACED A LIFE OR
DEATH SITUATION? AND CAN
CLEVERNESS TRIUMPH OVER
MALEVOLENCE?
SO, DEAR AUDIENCE TAKE YOUR SEATS,
FOR THE DRAMA UNFOLDS, AND
GERRARD’S FATE HANGS IN THE
BALANCE.
SCENE 1
GERRARD – CHAITANYA
INTRUDER – PRITISH
NARRATOR: Gerrard is standing by the table
making a phone call. He is of medium height,
and wearing horn-rimmed glasses . . . He is
dressed in a lounge suit and a great coat. His
voice is cultured.
GERRARD: ... Well, tell him to phone up
directly. I must know … Yes, I expect I’ll still
be here, but you mustn’t count on that ... In
about ten minutes’ time. Right-ho. Goodbye.
NARRATOR: He puts down the phone and
goes to the divan on the left, where there is a
travelling bag, and starts packing. Whilst he is
thus engaged, another man, similar in build to
Gerrard enters from the right silently —
revolver in hand. He is flashily dressed in an
overcoat and a soft hat. He bumps accidentally
against the table, and at the sound Gerrard turns
quickly.
GERRARD: Why, this is a surprise, Mr— er —
INTRUDER: I’m glad you’re pleased to see
me.
Put those paws up!
GERRARD: This is all very melodramatic, not
very original, perhaps, but…
INTRUDER: Trying to be calm and — er—
GERRARD: ‘Nonchalant’ is your word, I
think.
INTRUDER: Thanks a lot. You’ll soon stop
being smart. I want to know a few things, see.
SCENE 2
GERRARD – manna
Intruder – sayoon
GERRARD: Anything you like. I know all the
answers. But before we begin I should like to
change my position.
INTRUDER: Sit down there, and no funny
business. Now then, we’ll have a nice little talk
about yourself!
( GERRARD GOES AND SITS ON THE
DIVAN )
GERRARD: I’ll tell you the story of my life.
How as a child I was stolen by the gypsies, and
why at the age of thirty-two, I find myself in my
lonely Essex cottage, how …
INTRUDER: Keep it to yourself, and just
answer my questions. You live here alone?
Well, do you?
GERRARD: I’m sorry. I thought you were
telling me, not asking me.
INTRUDER: Do you live here alone?
GERRARD: And if I don’t answer?
INTRUDER: You’ve got enough sense not to
want to get hurt.
INTRUDER: Do you run a car?
GERRARD: No.
INTRUDER: That’s a lie. You’re not dealing
with a fool and I know you run a car. Better be
careful, wise guy!
GERRARD: Are you American, or is that
merely a clever imitation?
INTRUDER: Listen, this gun’s no toy. I can
hurt you without killing you, and still get my
answers.
GERRARD: Of course, if you put it like that,
I’ll be glad to assist you. I do possess a car, and
it’s in the garage round the corner.
INTRUDER: That’s better. Do people often
come out here?
GERRARD: Very rarely. Surprisingly few
people take the trouble to visit me. But no one is
interesting like you.
INTRUDER: I happen to know that you never
see tradesperson.
Scene – 3
Gerrard – akshita
Intruder – Sanjanaa
GERRARD: I accept that you know a lot about
me but I guess it’s time to say something about
yourself.
INTRUDER: I could tell you plenty. I am
smarter than you and that’s why I am here.
GERRARD: You don’t need brains to enter my
small cottage.
INTRUDER: If you come to know the reason
for my entry, you will be surprised.
GERRARD: What kind of crime do you get
involved in?
INTRUDER: I am a specialist in jewel robbery.
GERRARD: There are very few jewels in
Essex.
INTRUDER: Even cops are rare in Essex. So, I
can live here freely.
GERRARD: What do you mean?
INTRUDER: This is your big surprise. I’m
going to kill you.
GERRARD: What are you going to gain by
killing me?
INTRUDER: Freedom. I have committed a
murder already and I am wanted by the police.
After killing you I would live the rest of my life
as Gerrard.
SCENE 4
GERRARD: monissha
INTRUDER: sanjanaa
Narrator: lohita
GERRARD: You’re not particularly decorative.
INTRUDER: No! Well, that goes for you, too.
I’ve only got to wear specs and I’ll be enough
like you to get away with it.
GERRARD: What about your clothes? They’ll
let you down if you’re not careful.
INTRUDER: That’ll be all right. Yours will fit
me fine.
GERRARD: You won’t kill me for a very good
reason.
INTRUDER: So that’s what you think.
GERRARD: You’ll let me go, and thank God
you didn’t shoot sooner.
INTRUDER: Come on. What’s on your mind!
Better be quick. This conversation bores me. I
am not a fool to believe your manipulating
words. I know that you are a mysterious man.
GERRARD: (laughs) Do you know why I lead
this mysterious life?
INTRUDER: Stop it, what are you trying to
say?
GERRARD: This is your big surprise. Even if
you are not hanged for the crime that you have
committed, you will be hanged as Gerrard for
the crime I have committed. I have murdered a
person and the cops are going to arrive for
raiding my house tonight. That’s why I planned
to leave today.
NARRATOR: After hearing Gerrard’s
flashback, the intruder checks Gerrard suitcase
and finds a gun, fake moustache, few flashy
clothes and props. Gerrard suggests the intruder
to leave the place along with him. After a lot of
confusions the intruder finally decides to leave
the place with Gerrard.
INTRUDER: Careful boss, I am watching you.
GERRARD: I have got a man posted on the
main road. He’ll ring up if he sees the police,
but I don’t want to leave…(telephone bell rings)
Come on! They’re after us. Through here
straight to the garage.
INTRUDER: How do I know that you are
telling the truth?
GERRARD: Oh, don’t be a fool. Look for
yourself.
NARRATOR: Gerrard opens door and steps
away. Intruder leans forward to inspect it, with
his side towards Gerrard, but with the revolver
ready. As he turns his head, Gerrard gives him a
push into the cupboard, knocking the revolver
out of his hand. He slams the door and locks it,
picks up the revolver and goes to the phone,
where he stands with the gun pointed at the
cupboard door.
INTRUDER: (rattles door and shouts) Let me
out of here!
(GERRARD ATTENDS THE CALL)
GERRARD: Hello. Yes, speaking. Sorry I can’t
bring the props for rehearsal. I think I’ll put it
in my next play. Listen, can you tell our friend
the Sergeant to come up here at once? You’ll
probably find him in the Public Bar.
CONCLUSION
Through the play If I Were You, we learn that
we must never be over-confident and try to be
alert at all times because intellect and cool-
headedness can help us go a long way.
THE END !!
