We Have Two Hands

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/49773643.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: ATEEZ (Band)
Relationship: Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Kang Yeosang, Choi
San/Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Choi San/Jung Wooyoung/Kang
Yeosang
Character: ATEEZ Ensemble
Additional Tags: Minor Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Minor Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi
(ATEEZ), Pining, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Friends to
Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Polyamory, Polyamorous Character, Mild
Sexual Content, Alternate Universe - High School, High School, Fluff
and Angst, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Triangles, at
first like most of my polyships, choi san feels what he feels and he's not
ashamed, wooyoung is a repressed little closeted dude, yeosang has
dead mom shaped trauma
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-09-01 Updated: 2023-10-06 Words: 96,725 Chapters:
19/20

We Have Two Hands

by wtfsalty

Summary

Yeosang starts a new school after finding himself alone, but isn't alone for very long before
a boy goes out of his way to be his friend, much to his dismay, but it isn't long before that
boy becomes someone he can rely on.

Wooyoung, though he has a happy family life and a good friend in Yunho, finds the closet
stifling as he begins to grow feelings for Yeosang.

San, who has spent a lot of time suppressing his feelings so as not to be hurt, finds himself
going through much self-realization as he begins to fall for Yeosang after causing the boy
trouble and pain after a misunderstanding.

The three come together under less than optimal conditions, but both Yeosang and
Wooyoung find that even though San comes off a little insane to people like them, who are
more the type to overthink and hold back, that San's new found ability to accept himself is
just what they needed to push themselves not only into accepting their own feelings as well,
but dropping the fear they hold so closely to their chest that holds them back.

Notes
As always: connections, ages, relationships, all of that is all wibbly wobbly, so don't get to
caught up in real life age ranges, etc.
 Consider Me A Friend

Alone. Yeosang wakes up alone. It’s not the first time in the last few weeks, but today it hit him in
his chest, leaving a heavy lump that threatened to choke him. The room is naturally lit by the
sunlight that drifts in through the threadbare curtains. Noises of other tenets beginning their day
seep through the all too thin walls, letting him hear muffled conversations and yelling.

Sliding his legs over the side of the hard bed, he sat up on the edge, trying to focus his still blurry
vision. As his eyes finally become clear, and he’s able to keep them open without wincing at the
light, he breathes out a sigh of acceptance. This small room is his home now, and though he’s been
here for a few weeks, it still confuses him when he wakes up at first. Except for the cold, as it
lacked decent central heating or cooling, and his cheap heater didn’t work that great.

It couldn’t be more than two hundred, maybe two hundred and fifty square feet including the
bathroom. Snug, that’s the word Yeosang’s aunt had used when she had tried to hide her disgust at
the place. What else could he afford as a highschool student with no help. Her husband had
impassively decided it was all he needed, and left it at that, uncaring about what came of him once
they left.

He had needed their help to sign for the place, because the landlord didn’t want to rent out the
room to a student. It was his own money that went into the man’s hand, while his aunt’s husband
watched on with annoyance at having to be there longer than expected. His aunt was a conflicting
mess of seeing her nephew left in this place, and unable to warm her husband’s cold heart. At least
he was doing this for the boy.

The room had his hard twin sized bed that was left behind by the last tenet. A tiny kitchen area,
which was only a stove and a small counter cabinet beside it, was nestled in the corner. At least he
had running water, but he was warned about the shared water heater, and so he gave up on the
thought of hot showers on the daily. He had learned quickly, if he wanted a hot shower, to get up
before the sun, before the other tenants rose for the work day.

Today, the first day at his new school and the first day of the school year, he had done just that,
rising to shower and be clean before the sun rose. Yeosang had then laid back down in bed, resting
until his alarm clock woke him. Stretching a little, his body having settled while napping, he
walked, barely three feet, to the tiny fridge he had bought sitting on the ground next to the counter,
and took out the almost empty bottle of juice. Breakfast. He emptied it into his stomach, hoping
that would make it through until dinner.

Getting dressed and grabbing his pre-packed bag only took another ten minutes before he was out
the door. His apartment complex, a glorified hostel, was a couple miles from his new school. It
was cheaper to walk, so he made sure he left early enough to make it in time. The smell of food
from passing street vendors and stores made his stomach twinge in hunger, but he ignored it. He
was tempted to spend what little money he had to buy something, but he’d rather buy dinner and
not go to bed hungry, than gain a small reprieve just then. He’d eat the small bag of snacks he
brought for lunch.

The walk was nice, if not a bit strange and cold. He originally lived in a small village, so changing
to this much larger city was quite a change to what he was used to. It was slightly overwhelming,
and besides walking the two blocks to the little noodle place he worked at, he hadn’t really gone
exploring much. Besides, he felt he was too young and broke to go anywhere exciting. Also, who
would want to go to those places alone? Even if he did have friends, he wasn’t the type to go out
and do things like that. Even before he moved, he preferred to stay at home and read or study, than
go out with people.

Yeosang had felt relatively calm during his walk, besides the slight anxiety of all the noises and
people, but it spiked when he saw the school in the distance. He had only been here once before,
when they enrolled him, and at that time it had been empty except for the office staff. Now, he
could see the influx of students who were milling around the campus and walking into it. All those
unfamiliar faces made his stomach plummet, and even if he was hungry, he wouldn’t be able to
eat.

Momentum stopped momentarily by his nerves, he looked up at the large, three story building. The
school was one of the better private schools. If it wasn’t for his grades from before, and his
situation, he wouldn’t have been able to get the scholarship to go here, because god forbid his
uncle spend any of their money on him. He would’ve sooner dropped him off into a shitty public
school if it wasn’t for his aunt fighting for him. Now he would have to make sure he kept those
grades up, because dropping out of here was not an option.

Finally finding some semblance of courage, he started moving toward the school. The uniform was
uncomfortable, different from the more relaxed school he went to before. His blazer hung a little
loose off his frame, the belt having to hold up his pants because they didn’t fit his hips well
enough. They were just one size too big, not big enough to make a big deal out of, especially since
he couldn’t complain to his uncle. Plus, they were gone, and he hoped he wouldn’t have to see
them again.

He could do this, he believed in himself.

He had to, there wasn’t a kinder alternative.

Yeosang had some experience of starting new schools, he and his mother had moved around a bit
in the last few years, but it still was uncomfortable to see people staring at him. He assumed most
of the other kids had been going to school with one another for years. How often did someone
switch school just before senior year? Their eyes followed him, and he tried to keep his eyes
unfocused and never settling, ignoring the judgment in some and the sizing up in others.

Without friends, he had no reason to do anything else but make his way to his classroom. The halls
were loud and the smell of many bodies with cologne and perfumes, food brought in from vendors,
and body odor filled his nostrils. He kept his eyes on the floor, never looking up to see the faces
attached to the many pairs of shoes that he passed by. Eventually he made it to the room he would
be spending his final year of highschool in.

The room was unassuming, the walls empty of anything personable at the moment. There were
your usually fake motivational posters, but there were no class schedules just yet, or seating charts,
or anything that he was used to. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw separated desks. The last
thing he would want is to have to share a desk with someone else. Someone else who might talk to
him, ask him questions, try to get to know him. He was here to study and pass his classes, get the
top spot if he could, and that’s it.

He didn’t have the time or heart for friends.

At the first look, his heart dropped a little, as the first two rows were already filled, mostly by boys,
which was strange because normally it would be the middle or the back rows first. He had wanted
a front seat, less chance to be distracted from the teacher, but it is what it is. His feet led him to the
third seat of the row right next to the windows. If he couldn’t have the front, he’d at least make
sure he wasn’t surrounded by possible conversation.
When he sat down though, he looked at the row closest to the door and chewed his cheek,
wondering if he should move over there to be able to leave quicker. His mind imagined getting up
and all the eyes that were already glancing at him following him as he switched seats. The pre-
embarrassment settled in his stomach and he threw the thought away. He was stuck here in this
seat now. Yeosang only hoped the teacher wouldn’t move people around when they arrived,
putting him in a spot that was less than ideal.

Needing something to keep his eyes from accidentally catching on others, he pulled out his english
textbook and began to read through it and do some of the worksheets in it. He was fairly decent
with most subjects, usually always the top of his class in his past schools. Though, this was a
school of better refute than he was used to, so maybe he would have to try a bit harder to be the top.
Yeosang would make sure he did the best he could.

Soon his peace was bothered as a body flopped into the desk to his right. He didn’t look up, but
heard the loud laughter coming from the boy who had settled there. It was both warm and
annoying at the same time. Yeosang couldn’t help his curiosity, looking from under his hair to see
a widely smiling boy, laughing with a tall boy behind him, smiling a little more normally.

The hair of the boy was dark and choppy, as if it were cut by himself. His eyes were closed and the
corners wrinkled from laughing so largely. The nose that scrunched up relaxed, and he found
himself getting caught staring by warm dark eyes. His smile softened, causing Yeosang to
hurriedly look away, embarrassment causing his face and ears to burn.

I’m sorry, please ignore me. Please, please, please.

His prayer went unheard.

“Hey.”

The tone was soft, and out of his peripherals he could see that the boy had leaned toward him a bit.
Even in this indirect eyeline, he could still see a wide smile on his face. Oh no, he seemed like a
talker, and that’s the last type of person Yeosang wanted to be sitting by. So he pretended not to
hear, and turned his head to look out the window, hopefully looking casual about it.

A hand tapped his arm. “Are you trying to ignore me?”

Closing his eyes and wishing his blush away, Yeosang finally turned and faced the boy. Relaxed,
his face was quite handsome. The un-scrunched nose settled above a thin lip held up by a thicker
one. Warm eyes flitted across his face and the smile grew softer as he took a good look at Yeosang.
He felt seen, as the boy took a moment to look at him, mouth opening a bit as if surprised.

He was frozen equally as long by the strange look, until he finally found his voice. Shaking his
head, he pretended to be confused, as if he hadn’t heard him. “I’m sorry?”

The eye roll told him he was unconvincing, and the smile settled into a playful smirk. “What’s your
name, rude boy?”

“Rude?” His stomach twisted a bit, and he quickly shook his head. “I really didn’t think you were
talking to me.” The lie sent blood rushing to his cheeks. He wasn’t a good liar, which is why he
tried not to talk to anyone in the first place.

It seemed this boy could also see through how bad he was at lying, because he laughed softly.
“What’s your name?”

Yeosang anxiously looked to his right, where the tall boy he had been laughing with was absently
getting his things out of his bag, but every so often looking up, curious. “Umm, it’s Yeosang, Kang
Yeosang.”

“Well, Yeosang, my name is Wooyoung. This is Yunho.”

Yunho glanced up and gave him a smile, nodding, before turning his eyes elsewhere, not seeming
too interested in him. Yunho was tall, even sitting down you could tell that. His hair was a fluffy
mess on his head, and his cheeks were still rounded with baby fat. Just like his friend though, he
gave off an aura of warmth and kindness, his lips curled just the slightest as he moved his books.

“Hi.” He dipped his head in greeting, and then awkwardly turned his gaze back down at his
textbook. Yeosang ignored the soft laughter from Wooyoung, hoping that would end the
conversation.

Luckily, the teacher arrived at that moment, and the boy to his right, giving him one last look,
turned to face the front. No wonder the front row was taken so quickly, the teacher was a beautiful
woman, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the way those at the front sat up straighter.
Yeosang’s mind was glad for the ability to forget the rest of the people around him for the
moment, because it meant they would hopefully forget about him. That was, until the teacher
decided to have each of them stand and introduce themselves.

He wanted to vomit.

“My name is Jung Wooyoung. I like dancing and football.” A couple of the girls whistled, and
Yunho laughed to himself, but Yeosang heard it.

As he was walking back to his seat, their eyes inadvertently caught on each other. Almost
immediately, the smile softened and he nodded at Yeosang before sitting down. His ears must be
burning red, because why does he keep having awkward eye contact with this boy? Why did these
awkward things keep happening to him today? Maybe he should just keep his eyes down.

“Mr. Kang. You’re next.”

He had been building up his courage for the past ten minutes, but now it was suddenly his turn and
all of the building crumbled, causing his legs to shake slightly. True to his duty, he rose and went to
the front of the class, vision tunneling slightly. “I’m Kang Yeosang. I like to read and study.”

A couple guys laughed, but even more girls began to whisper as they got a good look at Yeosang’s
face. He was cursed with a pretty face, and that isn’t said with arrogance or ego. For a guy like
him, who preferred anonymity, it couldn’t be worse than that. Now, with the way the whispers
continued as he walked to his seat, he felt the nausea even more.

“Two sentences and already got some fangirls.” Wooyoung whispered beside him, so only he could
hear. Yeosang sent him a glare, unable to hide his irritation of him finding it amusing. He held up
his hands in surrender at his look, looking surprised by the suddenness of his aggression.

Yeosang let his eyes fall back on his textbook until the rest of the class had finished introducing
themselves. When the teacher then began speaking, he finally looked up and hung onto every
word. The more he focused on the teacher, the more he could pretend the rest of these people
didn’t exist. Also, the more he paid attention to the teacher, the better his grades would be, and that
was far more important than any of these kids.

~~~

Wooyoung kept looking at the new boy every so often. He was new right? Though he tried, he
couldn’t place his face. Of course, someone that pretty would not have gone this long without
being noticed. Look at how the girls in the class reacted when he had gotten up and introduced
himself. That was sign enough that this was a new face at school.

He was never looking anywhere except his books or the teacher. Yeosang’s eyes were never
anywhere else when he glanced over. His hair was long and shaggy, and he couldn’t tell if that was
on purpose or not, but it did look good, and did well to hide his face when he was looking down at
his desk. Everything about his uniform screamed new, except the jacket he had slung around the
back of his chair. It was looking a little threadbare.

When the bell rang at the end of the first class, he turned to face Yeosang. He had already started
on the assignment that the teacher had given them, on the first day. Wooyoung watched the boy’s
pencil moving quickly across the page, seeming to know the answers before even finishing reading
the question. So he must be smart. Apparently that comment about liking to study wasn’t just
random words.

Leaning forward, he tried to get his attention. “Hey, Yeosang.”

The pencil stopped moving, and an easily heard sigh escaped from beneath the veil of hair.
“What?” His tone wasn’t exactly annoyed or angry, but he could tell he didn’t want to be bothered.

Unfortunately, Wooyoung was too curious. “You’re new here, right?”

“Uh huh.” The pencil started moving again, but the boy didn’t look up at him.

He frowned, feeling slightly offended by being ignored. “You need a haircut.”

“Thanks.”

The flat response made him sit back, narrowing his eyes at him. He took a moment to breathe and
think before he spoke again. “Starting a new school is pretty rough. I’m guessing you didn’t want
to leave your last school?” Wooyoung said it softly, trying to sound as kind as possible to bring this
turtle out of his shell.

Pencil slowing down, Yeosang finally glanced at him, and for just a moment as their eyes met, he
thought he saw a strange pained look in his eyes, before the eyes moved back to his desk.
“Something like that.” His words were thick, and he realized he might have struck a tender spot.

Wooyoung’s cursed ability to empathize had his heart hurting slightly. What had this boy left
behind? “You didn’t have a say in transferring?”

He barked out an incredulous laugh. “What kid our age has a say in their lives?” Yeosang’s voice
was still thick, and he coughed to try to clear it. “I really want to focus on this assignment.” He
looked up once more, and his eyes were almost begging, silently asking him to stop talking.

“Okay. I’m sorry for bothering you.” He paused, watching the boy glare down at his book. “You
can consider me a friend if you ever need one.” Wooyoung offered it out like an olive branch.

Yeosang’s pencil stopped again, before he nodded. “Thanks.” Then he continued, as if their
conversation had never happened.

Through the rest of the classes before lunch, he couldn’t stop looking at Yeosang. Not only that,
but he couldn’t stop hearing the barely veiled conversations of the girls in their class talking about
him. Simple beasts, the girls in this class were. Hopefully in a couple weeks the novelty of the new
kid would settle, and both Yeosang and the others in class wouldn’t have to be bothered by the
incessant gossiping.

Eventually the lunch bell rang, and he stood along with Yunho, collecting their wallets. He looked
down at Yeosang, who hadn’t moved yet. “Do you want to come to the convenience store with
us?” Yunho raised an eyebrow at Wooyoung, but didn’t object, looking down to watch the
unmoving figure with him.

“I’m okay.”

He frowned, not seeing a lunch bag or anything. “Do you have something to eat?”

Yeosang sighed. “I do.”

Yunho grabbed his arm, making a face that said ‘read the room’. Unfortunately, at the moment, he
was illiterate. “Do you want anything? It’s on me.”

“I said I’m okay.” His voice rose a bit, finally looking at him and giving him a stern glare to get his
point across.

His heart dropped a bit, and he felt his face flush with embarrassed heat. “Got it, my bad. Have a
good lunch.” Wooyoung didn’t wait to see or hear a response, turning and walking away from the
situation.

Behind him, he knew Yunho followed, so he didn’t stop moving until he was out of the classroom,
down the hall, and just about to head down the stairs. He turned to wait for his friend to catch up,
who was giving him an amused look as he sidled up next to him. They didn’t speak for a moment,
as Wooyoung took some time to settle his flustered feelings.

“I was just trying to be nice.” He explained to Yunho, as if he had even bothered to ask.

Nodding, his friend patted his shoulder. “Some people just want to be left alone.”

With his arm draped around his sullen friend’s shoulders, Yunho led them down to the school’s
convenience store. They bought some food for themselves, cooking the instant noodles in the
provided microwaves before heading out onto campus to find a spot to sit. They found an open spot
in the sun to eat, ignoring the chilly atmosphere that nipped at their fingers, not wanting to be
inside.

Eventually, sitting and chatting for a while, they rose as the end of lunch grew close. Wooyoung
was following Yunho, but when they passed the convenience store on their way back, his mind
shifted to Yeosang. He asked his friend to wait, ignoring his confused look as he ran back into the
store, collected a couple things, bought them, and ran back out. His friend, knowing him all too
well, rolled his eyes and turned, not waiting to see if he was following.

When they made it back to the class, Wooyoung could already feel his face pinken as his nerves
returned. When they walked in the class, his eyes immediately found the boy. On his desk was an
empty single bag of snacks.

Was that all he had for lunch?

Shaking his head, feeling more sure about himself, he walked over and dropped the food he had
bought on his desk. “You need to eat more than just that.”

Yeosang jumped slightly, not having expected things to drop on his desk. He looked at the food,
and then backed up at Wooyoung. The look he gave was that of tiredness. “I told you I was fine.”
He pushed the empty snack wrapper as he sat down. “You’re full of shit. Eat before the bell rings.”

Taken aback by the hostile tone, he shook his head. “I don’t want your food.”

“Fine.” He shrugged. “Then throw it away. It’ll just be wasted if I take it. I don’t even like those.”
The lie was obvious, but he turned away, as if that would cut off his arguing.

“Wooyoung…”

Yeosang sounded frustrated, but the boy ignored him, turning away from him and striking up a
conversation with the boy beside him. He could feel the mess of emotions behind him, but also
could tell that the boy wasn’t going to make a scene. Wooyoung was barely paying attention to the
meaningless conversation he was having, listening as he heard a frustrated noise and the wonderful
sounds of food packaging being opened.

When the bell rang and he finally turned back around to face the front, he looked over and saw
Yeosang standing to throw away empty wrappers. His heart swelled with glee, and he couldn’t help
but smile proudly at the glare he received as the boy walked back to his desk. But, he was kind, and
didn’t bother Yeosang for the rest of the class, taking the win where he could.

Yunho watched all of this with a mostly impassive, but slightly amused look.

The final bell rang, and Wooyoung turned, not surprised to find Yeosang hurriedly collecting his
things. He chewed on his cheek as he watched, wondering just how far he could push him on the
first day. Should he ask him to hang out? To go get food? Part of him wanted to follow and bother
him, but his inability to muster the nerves cursed him into watching the boy leave so quickly, it
looked like he was trying to escape.

“That boy needs a friend.” He decided, as Yunho poked his shoulder to finally get him moving.

“He’s gonna need an exorcist.” The taller boy muttered, watching as his friend gathered his things,
his own bag already over his shoulder.

Giving him a narrowed look, he huffed. “He ate the food.” That proud feeling returned, and he said
it as if showing evidence of some crime.

“Wooyoung.” Yunho sighed, shaking his head as he led the way out of the room. “You’re starting
to sound like one of those girls.”

His hackles rose, looking around to make sure no one had heard him. “That’s not it at all. He
looked hungry and I… I just…”

“Reclusive pretty boy who is turning you down at every turn?” Wooyoung went to speak, to bring
up the snacks, but he was interrupted. “And begrudgingly eating the snacks you forced on him.”
Yunho raised an eyebrow. “Make it anymore obvious and that closet you hide in won’t be so
opaque anymore.”

Though he knew his friend would never say anything where anyone could hear him, he still looked
around feeling anxious sweat appear on his body. With the closest person yards away as they walk
out one of the side doors, he let himself relax a little. “I really just think he looked like he needed a
friend.”

“Would you have done all that if he wasn’t attractive?” At this point he wasn’t even looking at him
as they walked across the campus.
Feeling defensive, he sputtered a bit before answering. “Do you think I’m not a nice person?”

“I just think his looks helped lead your decisions today.”

He grumbled for a moment, before relenting. “He is gorgeous.”

Yunho nodded, not smirking or making a face of ‘told you so’, only accepting what he already
knew. “I would agree with that.” He finally gave his friend a smile. “Stop being so pushy. You’re
not even gonna make a friend out of him if you don’t respect boundaries.” He chuckled. “No
wonder I’m your only friend. You’re like an aggressive puppy who bites too hard when he plays.”

“I hate you.” He muttered, glaring over at him.

Yunho smiled, finding it amusing.

~~~

Yeosang felt better than he was expecting on his walk home from school. He had planned on
rushing to work quickly to eat something, because the owner let them eat for free there, but since
Wooyoung fed him, he could take his time. As the thought of the pushy boy entered his mind, both
feelings of annoyance and guilt rose in his chest.

He had just been trying to be friendly, but Yeosang had been rude and deflective. While he didn’t
want to answer peoples’ questions, or have people in his business, was it too much to have been
that way toward him? He wanted to be left alone and to do well in school, not letting any
relationships with others take away his focus. Maybe next time he wouldn’t be so rude.

When he got home, having a little extra time before he had to go to work, he sat at the small table
he used as a desk and continued on his assignments from the day. This school was pushing out
more work than he was used to, but besides taking time, he found he was still at a level to find this
relatively easy. There was nothing that was going to get in his way of doing well, and he would try
his hardest to be the top in this new school. He had to do well, get into a good university, and make
his mother proud.

Eventually he made his way out of the apartment and off to work. The little noodle shop was a
couple blocks down, and when he arrived he smiled at the owner’s son who was the only one in
the shop at the moment. Seonghwa was a year older, just starting at a university nearby, and
worked here when he could to help out his parents. Yeosang was the only other person who
worked there that wasn’t a part of their family.

“Hey, how was the first day of school?” He asked as Yeosang came around and washed his hand in
the sink.

He shrugged. “It was school. Plenty of assignments on the first day.”

Seonghwa made a noise of regrettable understanding. “You’re going to Hangang right?”

Nodding, he looked out over the tables but found that there weren't many customers at the moment,
and Seonghwa’s mom was already out there. “Yeah.”

“I went there. Graduated last year.” He offered, chatting as he made noodles off to the side.

He moved over, leaning on the counter to watch. “Oh? Did you go there on a scholarship?”
Yeosang saw him raise an eyebrow at him. He stammered out an apology. “I didn’t mean you were
poor, I just… you know I’m there on a…” He finally closed his mouth. “Sorry.”
Chuckling, Seonghwa shook his head. “Yes, I was there on a scholarship.” He sighed, seeming to
be thinking of happy memories. “It was rough, but also some of the best times of my life were
made in that school.” The distant look sharpened, and he gave Yeosang a serious look. “I know you
want to focus on your studies and only your studies, but make some friends.” The boy looked down
to hide his face, surprised, as if he knew what had already happened earlier in the day. “Life is
harder when you don’t have any friends.”

“You’re my friend.” He murmured, poking and pulling a noodle apart, not looking up.

Seonghwa laughed. “Yes, but you need to befriend other kids like you. I know you’ve been
through alot.” Yeosang gave him a confused look, because he hadn’t talked about much more than
him being alone, but he supposed assumptions could be made. “You can’t do it all by yourself, and
you shouldn’t have to. Nor will I always be around to be the type of friend you need.”

“You sound like your mom.” He laughed, beginning to move away to end the conversation.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” The older boy barked out a laugh behind him and let him go to
help said mom.

When Yeosang made it home at the end of the night, he thought over Seonghwa’s words.

Maybe I won’t ignore him tomorrow.

 Socks
Chapter Notes

Just a reminder, I smashed a bunch of shit together about American schools and
Korean schools, and maybe a little of other asian school situations to tell this story lol.
Some of it was even made up, because who cares, it's my story.

Enjoy

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It was raining the next day when he woke up. As he listened to it hitting against the glass doors of
his balcony, he thanked the heavens above that he hadn’t left clothes outside on the line. He
climbed off the bed, stretching once again to get out the kinks in his neck and lower back. Then he
did a simple workout, and took a quick cold shower, having snoozed his alarm instead of getting up
earlier.

He felt more rested today, and even the rain couldn’t weaken his mood as he stepped out of his
apartment. In his hand was a red and black umbrella that used to be his mother’s, and in his bag
was a container of food given to him by Seonghwa the night before. They didn’t know just how he
was doing alone, or what his full situation was, but he knew they could sense he wasn’t eating as
much as he should be.

Also, having lunch hopefully meant Wooyoung wouldn’t spend any money on him. Yeosang
mostly just didn’t like that feeling that he couldn’t do the same thing back. The guilt of having
someone do something nice, while not being able to reciprocate was annoying, but something he
couldn’t help but feel. He already felt like he had to be nicer to him because of the snacks he
bought. It felt he was now expected to be his friend, and while the boy seemed nice, Yeosang
couldn’t help his mind from feeling coerced.

When he finally made it to the school, his good morning was tainted by the bottom of his pants and
his shoes being soaked through, leaving his toes nearly numb from the cold. He sighed as he made
it into the building. Yeosang looked at his school slippers for a long time, thinking about how he
didn’t bring an extra pair of socks, and how his slippers were going to get soaked through because
of that. What was he to do?

Unfortunately, someone else was paying attention, and a hand reached over and tossed a pair of
socks into his locker.

Thinking it was Wooyoung, he turned, scowling. “I told you I did-” His words were cut off by
finding a complete stranger next to him.

His hair was damp, pushed back and showing off a handsome face. There was an intimidating
presence about him, in the way his eyebrows were naturally downturned a bit, and his eyes seemed
naturally narrowed. He couldn’t tell if that was his resting face or not, but he seemed unbothered
and uninterested in the world around him.

“Wear them or don’t wear them. No one wants to smell your wet socks all day.” The stranger
rolled his eyes, closing his locker.
At first he was going to refuse, but then his comment hit, and the thought of that embarrassment
won out on his need to refuse. “I’ll wash and return them to you tomorrow.”

He had just been walking away, but at this, he turned and gave him a disgusted look. “Ew, no one
wants someone else's worn socks. Throw them away after, I don’t care.” Around them, people took
notice of this boy, and some girls were whispering and swooning over his ‘kindness’.

Thrown by the kindness of the boy’s action, but the harshness of his words, he let him walk away
before looking down at the socks. But you just gave me your… Looking at them, he realized they
were brand new. Did he just keep a bag of fresh socks in his locker? Did he not have any for
himself? Yeosang’s confusion continued as he changed into the new socks and slipped on his
slippers.

The socks were soft as a cloud, and he couldn’t help but smile as he wiggled his toes and finally
moved to head to his class, ignoring the looks and whispers around him.

When he settled into his seat, Wooyoung hadn’t arrived yet, thank goodness. So he was left alone
as he pulled out his stuff. He had already completed the work from the day before, and he found
himself a little restless with nothing to do, so he gave himself something to do. Opening his notes
from the day before, he went over them, trying to make sure everything was cemented into his
memory.

Eventually Wooyoung did arrive, huffing and grumbling as he sat down at his desk. Yeosang
didn’t look up or initiate a conversation, too buried in his notes. Of course, the other boy didn’t let
that stop him.

“Even though it’s raining, you look like you’re in a better mood than yesterday.”

His words entered his ears, but he hadn’t been paying attention and didn’t really process them. He
looked up, confused. “I’m sorry, what?”

Smiling, he pushed back long wet bangs, slinging water on the desk behind him, causing Yunho to
curse under his breath and send him a death glare. Wooyoung ignored it. “I said, you look like
you’re in a better mood today.”

He shrugged. “I feel the same.”

“You don’t look it.” His eyes looked over Yeosang’s face. “Did something good happen?”

Another shrug, looking back down at his notes. “Someone gave me socks because mine were wet.”

“Well that’s nice of them. Who was it?”

“Didn’t get his name. The action didn’t match his face.” He was only half paying attention to the
conversation, adding notes to his already existing ones as he double checked his textbook.

Wooyoung watched him for a moment, he could see him out of the corner of his eyes. “You really
do love to study.”

“We’re in school, it’s what we’re supposed to be doing.” Yeosang looked up, giving him a pointed
look and then down to his still unpacked bag.

Laughing, he shook his head in amazement before beginning to unpack his things. “You are very
serious about education.”
“I have to be, I’m on a scholarship.” Yeosang didn’t think before he said it, already having turned
back to his notes.

A moment passed before Wooyoung spoke again. “A scholarship huh, so you’re probably smarter
than the rest of us.”

“Probably.” Another comment made without thinking. It didn’t register until the incredulous and
surprised laugh made him look up. Realization dawned on him. “Oh. I didn’t mean-”

Waving away his apologies, the boy’s smile stayed plastered to his face. “No, no. No need to be
humble. Most of us here are here because our parents can pay the tuition, not because we’ve got
any better intelligence than anyone else.”

He couldn’t fight away the embarrassed and guilty blush in his cheeks, giving Wooyoung an
apologetic look. “I just meant…” Yeosang’s sentence trailed off, not being able to find anyway to
save himself.

Still laughing slightly, he gave him a challenging look. “How about you just prove it.”

“What do you mean?”

Wooyoung leaned back in his seat, reclining his arms. “Next week they’ll be doing the beginning
of the year exams. Do well, and we’ll see just how much smarter you are.”

His stomach plummeted, and he gave him an incredulous look. “Beginning of the year exams?!”

More laughter, seeming to find his shock amusing. “It’s nothing that actually goes towards your
grades. It’s more like a scoreboard. Like a placement to see where everyone is intelligence wise
after the break. Who has retained what they’ve learned until now, and who is an embarrassment to
their family.”

Even though he said it in a joking manner, Yeosang can feel his stomach twisting into anxious
knots. “What happens if you don’t do well?”

Finally sensing his actual nervousness, and remembering that he was on a scholarship, Wooyoung
realized he was taking something lightly that meant a lot more to Yeosang. He leaned forward,
smile dropping and becoming more serious. “If you drop below a certain percentage they might
make you do tutoring through the school. Don’t worry, you don’t get kicked out for doing bad on
them. I’m not kidding when I say they don’t affect your grade.”

Yeosang’s stomach was still doing somersaults, causing his half empty stomach to grow nauseous.
He turned back to his notes, now even more motivated to make sure he knew all he could before
those ‘mock’ exams. “Why haven’t any of the teachers said anything?”

He shrugged, giving him a guilty look. “It’s a normal thing here. I guess because we all expect it
they just didn’t talk about it on the first day. I don’t know. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“Yeah.” The boy couldn’t bring himself to relax, and so he didn’t even look back over to
Wooyoung, who thankfully didn’t try to further any conversation.

They didn’t speak again, and soon the teacher arrived to start the class.

~~~

Wooyoung kept glancing over as the first half of the day went by. He could see the tension in
Yeosang’s shoulders. The guilt he felt for causing that tension made it hard to focus. No matter
how he had tried to explain it, the boy was getting worked up. His pencil was moving so fast while
taking notes, he thought that he must be writing down every word the teachers spoke.

When the lunch bell rang and released them, he turned in his seat to see Yeosang still scribbling
away in his notebook. “Do you want to come get lunch with us?”

A strange look appeared in his eyes, and he quickly reached around and pulled out a lunch box. “I
brought something.” Yeosang gave him a pointed look. “So don’t buy me snacks. I’ll barely be
able to eat all of this.”

Finding it cute, Wooyoung smiled, accepting a challenge that wasn’t offered. “Do you have a
drink?” His pointed look fell, and he looked down at his bag, as if one would suddenly appear.
“What do you like to drink?”

“Nothing.” His brows furrowed, and Wooyoung felt his heart flutter as he pouted down at his
lunch box, trying to deny him.

Smirking, he sighed. “Guess I’ll just have to buy a bunch to figure out which one you like.”

A glare sent his way made his heart skip a beat, but not in a negative way, caught in that cute
pouting mouth. “Water.”

“Who wants water with their lunch?” He continued to tease.

Yeosang scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t drink anything besides juice and water, and juice
doesn’t sound good with these noodles.”

Finding that answer acceptable, he nodded. “Okay. Water it is.” He turned, finding Yunho
watching him with a knowing, and judgemental, look. “You ready?” Wooyoung tried to ignore his
look.

“Have been for a minute.” He doesn’t say anything else, rising out of his chair and leading the
way.

Wooyoung sent one last look at Yeosang, who had already fallen back into his notes,
absentmindedly opening his lunch box. His smile was wide as he followed his friend out of the
room. There was something about it, feeling like he was taking care of someone. It was becoming
his favorite thing to do, getting Yeosang something and watching him begrudgingly accept and
enjoy it.

His friend smacked him on the back of the head, bringing him out of his daydreaming. “Are you
even listening to me?”

“No.” He answered, awkwardly smiling as he rubbed the back of his head. “What were you
saying?”

Grunting his annoyance, Yunho shook his head. “You’re lucky no one thinks that deeply about
things.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you did that for a girl, the world would know you had a crush on them.” His tone was
conversational, as if talking about one of their subjects in school.
Wooyoung’s face pinkened and, without thinking, he looked around as if he were going to find
prejudiced eyes glaring at him. “I don’t have a crush.” Yunho’s silence spoke for him. He sighed.
“But did you see the way he pouted?”

“We get it, less than a dozen sentences is all you need to completely lose yourself.” Though his
words were judgmental, his smile showed the softness and care in them. “You’re getting ahead of
yourself, Wooyoung. The chance that he’s in the same boat as you is so very small.”

Frowning, he shrugged. “I’m not trying anything like that. I just want to be his friend.”

“This again?” Yunho barked out an unconvinced laugh. “I’m saying this because I’m your best
friend; don’t fall in love with a straight dude.” He stopped them a little distance from the store, still
out of earshot of others. “Also, how terrible would it be if he found out you were only being nice to
him because you found him attractive and was hoping something would come of it?”

Wooyoung felt his defensiveness raise a lump in his throat. “I don’t.”

“What if he’s homophobic? Isn’t that going to hurt that much more if you catch feelings?”
Yunho’s tone was harsh, but his eyes were soft and his pursed lips showed that he was worried for
his friend.

While he knew he was just trying to look out for him, he laughed away his overprotectiveness.
“Yunho, you’re the one thinking way too far ahead for someone who doesn’t have the crush. I’m
just being nice. If we become friends, cool. If we don’t, it is what it is.” He smiled. “Thank you for
caring though.”

He took a moment to think, staring at Wooyoung’s face. Finally, he nodded. “I think you’re right,
I’m being too protective with no real reason to be.”

“You’re a great friend.” He patted his arm, moving past him to walk into the store.

Yunho huffed behind him. “I’m the bestest friend.”

Turning around, he gave him an encouraging look, as if praising a dog. “Yes, you are.” Yunho
glared at him.

After buying himself some food, and the water, he returned to the classroom alone. Yunho had
gone off to hang out with someone else, not wanting to be stuck in the classroom all lunch.
Wooyoung on the other hand had to go back to make sure Yeosang had something to drink with his
lunch. His friend had not argued or said anything, only sent him off with a nod.

The class was mostly empty except for a few stragglers. When he focused on that head of shaggy
hair, he frowned as he saw a girl sitting in his seat, leaning over to talk to Yeosang. A feeling, hot
and aggressive, struck his stomach and he walked over, eyes narrowed on the offending intruder.

“... originally from?” Her voice drifted to him as he got closer.

Yeosang was doing his usual best to give the shortest answers without being outright rude.
Wooyoung could see the anxious way his eyes darted from his food to the girl. Feeling a protective
surge, he dropped his bag loudly on his own desk that she sat at. “That’s my seat, Jisoo.”

The girl jumped, turned to look at him, and the easy smile returned. “Oh, I’m sorry Wooyoung. I
was just trying to get to know our new classmate.” Her eyes shifted over to the other boy, and he
could see that predatory look in her eyes.
He looked over, and even though he knew Yeosang would rather be left alone, his eyes still
showed a cry for help from him. Turning back to her, he put on his best fake, charming smile.
“Well, no one likes to be bothered while they’re trying to study.”

Smile becoming forced, she frowned at him. “It’s day two, what is there to study so hard for?” She
laughed, reaching out to pat Yeosang’s arm, causing him to freeze. “You should relax. Don’t let
yourself get so worked up when the school year has barely started.”

Wooyoung grunted out a laugh. “Well, maybe if you studied like he did, you wouldn’t be at the
bottom of the class.” Her face shot over to him, looking sufficiently insulted. He smirked. “Smart
guys like him don’t like dumb girls who only rely on their looks.”

Looking back over to Yeosang, as if he were going to speak up for her, Jisoo found the boy not
looking at either of them. His hair hiding his eyes, but not the nervous thinning of his lips. She
scoffed. Standing, she gave Wooyoung a long look, eyes narrowing as she looked him up and
down. Then she nodded, face relaxing into a smile.

“I hope you two have a good lunch.”

He smiled back, matching her energy. “You too!” His smile dropped as she turned and walked
away. Wooyoung turned back to find Yeosang rubbing his face. “I know we don’t know each other
that well, but you are too nice for your own good.” Settling down into his chair, he pulled out the
water and placed it on Yeosang’s desk.

“I just want to be left alone.” His words were choked, as if frustrated.

Wooyoung licked his lips, feeling apprehensive, as those words were probably also for him. He
didn’t say anything, because what could he say? Turning to his own food, he began eating,
glancing over every so often and feeling slightly better by watching Yeosang drink the water.

After a while of awkward silence, Yeosang’s pencil scribbling away and the food container now
empty, Wooyoung held out a bag of cookies he had been snacking on. “Want a cookie?”

Looking over, his eyes were a bit narrowed as he looked into Wooyoung’s eyes. Then his eyes
dropped to the held out open bag. He rolled his eyes, sighed, and reached out to take a cookie.
Yeosang popped it into his mouth, before turning back to his work. “Is this how you make friends,
wear them down until they accept you?”

He smiled, feeling the apprehension evaporate a little. “I don’t believe you really want to be alone.”

“You don’t know me.” Yeosang didn’t look up at him, speaking matter of factly.

Nodding, he ate another cookie, before putting the bag on the boy’s desk, three left inside. “We’ve
got time.”

Wooyoung felt a sense of accomplishment as Yeosang reached for a cookie without saying
anything or making a face.

~~~

Suffice to say, Yeosang’s day had a lot of ups and downs. Wet socks at first, remedied by a sort of
kind stranger. Then a girl who couldn’t take his short answers and lack of eye contact as the sign it
was, was taken care of by Wooyoung. Could he even take care of himself? He wanted to be
independent of anyone else, but even his hunger was taken care of by the kind people he worked
with and this boy who wouldn’t give up.
When it was just he and his mother, he didn’t feel like he needed anyone else in the world. Now
though, even though he tried not to, these people found themselves helping him. These things were
small, simple, unassuming things, but to him they made him feel guilty and a little worthless. He
couldn’t do any of these things in return for someone.

At the end of the class day, he rose to gather his things, mood having dropped as he over thought.

He’s not sure if Wooyoung could tell he was in a mood or not, but he called his name before he
could leave. “Yeosang. What you doing after school?”

“Work.” He looked up, finding him also packing his things, giving him a warm smile.

“Oh, you work.” The smile broadened into a light laugh. “Of course you do. You really do keep
yourself busy.”

“Mhmm.” Yeosang hummed his response, not willing to give explanations.

The boy shouldered his bag, moving over to lean on his desk. “When do you get a day off?”

“When I get a day off, I spend it doing school work and studying.” His answer wasn’t meant to
sound like he was coming up with excuses, because it was the truth, but he could see the smile
weaken, and he felt a little bad.

Wooyoung nodded. “Maybe we can have a study group sometime. You seem to be able to
understand chemistry a bit more than me.”

He didn’t respond for a moment, thinking it over. Then he thought about what his place looked
like, and immediately turned down that idea. Plus, he didn’t feel comfortable going to other
peoples’ places. “We’ll see.”

The smile returned to its original shape. “That’s about as good an answer as I expected.” He
laughed, looking over as Yunho tapped his shoulder to summon him. Waving, he followed his
friend. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Yeosang said it softly, watching the boy leave.

On his way out, he barely saw the people around him, trying to move as quickly and unseen as
possible. At his locker, switching out his shoes, he grabbed his wet socks and wrapped them in a
bag he had snatched from Wooyoung earlier, and put them in his pack. Turning to leave, he saw a
familiar face a dozen lockers down, the boy who gave him the socks.

The boy was flanked on either side by two other boys, one of them incredibly tall with a
mischievous grin. The other looked more serious, watching other students pass by without seeming
to care about what the other two were talking about. Yeosang thought about saying thank you, but
the nerves of saying thank you in front of other people froze him. Plus, the guy hadn’t exactly been
verbally kind, so maybe it was better to leave it at that.

Yeosang shrugged to himself, putting the act in the past, and left the building. The skies had
cleared and the sun had risen, leaving the air hot and humid from the rain. He passively swung his
umbrella at his side, mind elsewhere as he made the walk home.

When he got to work later, Seonghwa was nowhere to be seen. Mr. and Mrs. Park greeted him as
he arrived, and the work day began smoothly. Working there was nice, quick, and there wasn’t
much thinking he had to do. When he went home for the night, Mrs. Park sent him home with
food, and he felt happy knowing he’d have lunch again.
The next morning, he woke early for a hot shower. He finger combed back his hair, thinking about
how he needed a haircut. Though he didn’t want to spend the money on an actual haircut, he didn’t
want to cut it himself with scissors. There was a certain attraction to the messy look, but a short
chop was not something he wanted to risk doing to himself. He’d rather grow it out.

It was another gloomy morning, but there was no rain. He still took his umbrella with him, and this
time he had an extra pair of socks in his bag, just in case. The busy campus no longer brought him
anxiety. Though he still ignored the people around him, he found it a simpler time to walk through
and find his classes without being nervous.

Walking into class, he let out a sigh as he saw a bag on his desk. Wooyoung was there early, a
container of something on his desk as he scrolled through his phone. He walked over, opening the
bag to see a couple breakfast foods inside.

“You don’t know when to stop.”

He didn’t look up, taking a bite of his own food from the container. “You don’t eat breakfast. You
need to eat breakfast.”

“How do you know I don’t eat at home?” Yeosang sat down, pushing the bag across his desk,
feeling irritated, but also really wanting to eat it.

Wooyoung shrugged. “Do you?”

He made a frustrated noise. “Can we have a real talk?”

“Absolutely.” The boy turned in his seat, a smile appearing as he faced him.

Yeosang gave him a pointed, serious, look. “You have got to stop buying me food.”

“But you always eat it.” He smirked, as if he was proud.

He wished he could slap that smirk off his face. “Wooyoung. I eat it because I feel guilty that you
spent the money.” The boy’s smile weakened. “You buying me food makes me feel like I have to
be nice to you, and that it's out of feeling like I need to reciprocate in some way to not feel like I’m
taking advantage of you.”

The smile dropped fully, and he shook his head. “I bought it for you because I wanted to.”

“I know.” Yeosang sighed, looking around to make sure no one was listening, but there was barely
anyone in the class. “But it feels like you’re trying to buy my friendship and attention, yet you
don’t listen to me when I tell you I don’t want you to do these things. Do you want a friend, or a
pet who does what you want because you fed it?”

He could see the hurt in his eyes, but Yeosang knew he needed to be straightforward with him.
Wooyoung may think he’s doing something kind, but all he was doing was making him
uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean anything like that. I was trying to be nice and…”

“I know.” Yeosang took a deep breath. “Listen, I appreciate you being kind to me, but stop buying
me shit.”

Wooyoung sat back, looking deflated. Then he looked over. “Do you even want to be friends?”

Not being able to hold back his incredulous laughter, he shook his head, giving him a look. “You
want to be friends that bad?”
An awkward blush pinkened his face. “Everyone needs a friend.”

Yeosang thought of Seonghwa’s words, before rolling his eyes. “Well, friends listen to what you
say.”

“I won’t buy you any more food.” He said softly, the smile returning and a soft laugh escaping his
nervous chest.

Pointing at him, he narrowed his eyes. “You won’t buy me anything at all.”

Holding up a hand in promise, he nodded seriously. “Not a dime will be spent.”

Yeosang’s narrowed eyes stayed on his face, watching to make sure he could see the understanding
in his eyes. He grunted, turning away. “Fine.”

“So we’re friends?”

Sigh. “You’re like a child.” There was no response from the other boy, and when he looked over he
could see him smiling like an idiot as he returned to his phone. Yeosang couldn’t fight back the
playfully annoyed smile that lifted his lips.

~~~

Wooyoung’s day was going amazing. Yeosang had inadvertently called them friends, even though
he had slapped him to the ground with his confrontation. He really liked seeing him eat the food he
bought, so that was a negative that came out of the day. Either way, things were looking up.

Yeosang still declined when he asked him to eat with him and Yunho.

“He said I was making him feel like he owed me something.” Wooyoung explained to Yunho at
lunch.

His friend’s eyes widened with mock surprise. “You don’t say.”

“You’re an ass.”

Yunho smiled, poking at his food. “Do you feel better now?”

“I do.” He took a bite of his own, chewing thoughtfully. “That dude’s got a really thick shell.”

“And your personality is like a hammer.” He said it impassively, dropping something into his
mouth, chewing and looking around. “No, a jack hammer. Loud and abrasive.”

Wooyoung huffed, beginning to pout. “Why is everyone being mean to me today?”

His friend smiled at him, enjoying the teasing. “Sometimes you need to be reminded.”

“Pfft.” He ignored him, focusing on his food, which only made Yunho laugh.

~~~

The next morning found Yeosang extra tired for some reason, having found it hard to sleep. A cold
shower was a gift, and he spent time towel drying his hair as he looked out the balcony. As if a
sudden shift of the universe had happened, he could already see that it was going to be a warmer
day. Opening the balcony door, as if testing his theory, he felt a certain warmth when standing
directly in the sun.
 The umbrella and pair of socks were now a constant tennant of his backpack. Along with the usual
lunch he had collected from Mrs. Park the night before. He’s sure eventually he’ll grow tired of
eating the same thing everyday, but right then he wasn’t having to pay for food, so he would not
complain. His walk was the same as usual.

This day went easier than the one before. Wooyoung showed up at his normal time, asking him
after his day and how his morning was going. Yeosang no longer let himself be too short or gruff,
though he didn’t give up more information than was needed. The boy seemed happy to just have
him actually looking back at him when he spoke.

Yeosang found it amusing how easy it was to please Wooyoung.

The weekend came, he got paid, and then paid his rent, leaving him with just enough to buy a little
bit of groceries. When he wasn’t working, he continued to study and do his assignments, knowing
the mock exams were the next week. Part of him was excited and scared to see where he placed in
this new school.

He hoped to make his mom proud.

Chapter End Notes

So I'm a big fat liar. I can't imagine making this draw out for twenty weeks, especially
when the whole story is finished and written, just needing editing. Sooooo instead, we
gonna do updates on Sundays and Thursdays (my days off from work).

I'm already trying to think of something else to write, because the high this story gave
me, is already gone, and like a drug, I'm chasing after the next fix. I want another
woosansang (of course) and I have an idea, but the execution is not speaking to me,
so.... Hopefully something grabs my motivation by the throat soon like this one did.

Also, I'm sure you can all guess who sock boy is. Unfortunately, were still a couple
chapters away from inSANity, but it will come. LOL.
 The Good Kind
Chapter Notes

I had a surprise day off work, so enjoy this surprise update.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Yeosang was more distant than usual the next week, but Wooyoung understood. Though they were
mock exams, and spread out over the week, the boy took them seriously. He found himself
watching him vigorously studying at every chance. It was endearing and a little motivating to see
him trying so hard.

The days did seem a little more boring though, as his usual form of distraction was otherwise
occupied. Even then, he still found ways to interact with him. Though he was against being bought
food, whenever Wooyoung offered out his own snacks, Yeosang would absentmindedly grab
whatever cookie or chip, or whatever was offered without looking up.

Wooyoung realized he was turning into his mother, using food to show affection.

By Friday, he could see the exhaustion clearly on his friend’s face. He had worked so hard this past
week, and by the end of the day, the results would be given. Yeosang was distracted the last couple
hours of the school, and Wooyoung smiled, hoping his friend did as well as he hoped. He didn’t
want to see all his hard work not pay off.

When the last bell rang, Yeosang turned to him after packing his things. “Where do they post the
results?”

He motioned out the door. “In the other hall. There’ll be a board with all the rankings. Want me to
show you?” The boy nodded quickly, waiting impatiently for Wooyoung.

Swooning internally at the cute way he chewed his lip in worry, he led the way out of the room.
Many others were swarming the board as well, and it took them some time to finally make it up to
the long board of names. Finding his own first, he had found himself barely making the top one
fifty, but of course he hadn’t studied at all, so he wasn’t surprised by the mediocre ranking.

Looking over, his amused smile fell upon seeing Yeosang’s crestfallen face. He walked over to the
end of the board, which was still the top of the class, and looked for his name. Number seventeen.
Barking out an incredulous laugh, he threw his arm over his shoulders and patted his arm.

“Don’t look so down. You still made it in the top twenty out of hundreds in our year.” His face was
still downcast as he stared at the number. Wooyoung sighed, pulling him away from it and leading
him toward the lockers. “Look, this is a whole new curriculum. Making it that high with only a
couple weeks into the new year of a new school is very impressive. When the actual exams come
around, I’m sure that top spot will be yours.”

Yeosang sighed, nodding slowly. “Right. Sure.”

He squeezed his shoulders. “Let me treat you today. You don’t work, right? Let’s celebrate.”

This caused him to stiffen, shrugging off the arm that he had just now taken notice of. Wooyoung
didn’t take it personally. “There’s nothing to celebrate.” His tone was frustrated, but it was
obviously focused inward.

“Ridiculous.” Yeosang looked up at him, not looking convinced. “You should be proud. I won’t let
you put yourself down. My friend doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

He rolled his eyes, but the downturned corners of his mouth rose slightly. “You know I don’t like
you paying for me.”

“Stop making excuses, this is a special occasion. Plus, you’ve ignored me all week, you owe me a
night of actually acting like my friend.” Wooyoung’s eyebrows rose as Yeosang began to argue,
but at his look he relented, grumbling something about being difficult.

“Invite Yunho too, then. He made it to number fourteen.” Yeosang said it absently, but Wooyoung
felt like his heart weighed just a little bit more.

He internally cursed, feeling jealous and guilty at the same time. “Of course.”

Wooyoung left Yeosang, heading to their lockers, which were in separate halls. He kind of hoped
he didn’t find Yunho, but he was there, just a couple lockers down and waiting for him. When he
showed up, something must have shown on his face, because he frowned.

“What’s going on?”

Trying to relax his face, he forced a smile and turned to look at him as he switched his shoes. “Me
and Yeosang are going to get food. Want to come with?”

He looked surprised. “You asked him to get food and he said yes?”

“I mean, it took a little convincing.” Wooyung laughed, but it wasn’t that filled with humor.

Yunho, being able to read his friend better than anyone else, watched his face carefully. “You
should be ecstatic.”

Shrugging, he hoisted his bag. “It’s progress.”

Realization dawned on his face, and he gave him a knowing look. “It was his idea to invite me,
wasn’t it?” His sly grin and barely held back laughter made him glare at Yunho.

“Are you coming or not?”

Thinking for a moment, many wheels were turning, Wooyoung could see them in his eyes.
Eventually, he stood up straight, and shook his head. “I’m busy tonight.” He gave him a look, as if
waiting to see him react to an expensive gift.

Wooyoung took a moment to process, before he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.
“That’s really unfortunate. You will be missed dearly.” Yunho scoffed before walking away, but
his friend chased after him. “Can you tell him you can’t come?”

He looked over, unimpressed. “Why?”

Shrugging, he nervously scratched the back of his head. “I don’t want him to think I orchestrated
me and him being alone.”

Yunho rolled his eyes. “Unless you’ve suddenly confessed, what would make him even think
something like that?”
“Will you do it, please.” He whined, seeing Yeosang in the distance, awkwardly waiting at the
front doors.

He heaved out a deep sigh, plastering on an apologetic smile as they reached Yeosang. “Hey. I’ll
have to join next time, my treat. You guys have fun.” He waved, not waiting for a response,
rushing himself out the door. “I’ve got to run, be nice to each other.” Then he merged and
disappeared into the crowd.

Wooyoung sent Yeosang an awkward smile, who was watching Yunho leave. “Let’s go. I’ll take
you to my favorite place.” The boy nodded, falling into step with him.

~~~

Yeosang’s mind was still focused on his placement. While he knew there was still something
impressive about coming out so high up in the ranking, he still felt like he should have done better.
Wooyoung’s words had helped ease his frustration a bit, but not enough to clear it away.

Then came his invite to get food. Dinner. It’s not the first time he had asked, but it was the first
time Yeosang had agreed. He felt awkward, and after the last two weeks of heavy studying, felt
like he was somehow wasting time by doing something that wasn’t work or school related. Trying
to not be an asshole, and act like a normal teenager, he had relented this time around, because it
was kind of nice to have someone seem proud of him.

“It’s not too far from campus. Just a couple blocks over. I’m assuming you’re like any other person
and like meat, right? I see you eat a lot of noodles.” He smiled, obviously teasing him.

Nodding, he grabbed onto the straps of his bag, not knowing what to do with his hands. It had been
quite some time since he had gone out with a friend. “Yeah, I like meat. It’s not expensive is it?”

“Yeosang.” His tone was warning, and the boy sighed, turning away and not saying anything. After
a few moments of awkward silence as they walked, Wooyoung finally spoke again. “So, besides
the nosy students, how are you liking the new school?”

He laughed at the small talk question. “You don’t care about that. You know how I feel.”

Wooyoung tried to bite back his smile, but he couldn’t hide it. “Yeah. I do.” He looked over,
laughing softly. “I’m trying not to ask personal questions, because you’ll just retreat into your shell
and I’ll have to ease you out of it again. I finally got you to agree to hang out, I’m not wasting all
that hard work.”

Though it was said in a joking manner, Yeosang could feel his stomach twist with guilt. He had
made it hard for him to get close. “Has the hard work been worth it for an asshole like me?”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole.” Wooyoung looked at him, the serious look in his eyes demanding
to be believed. There was pause, before his lips curled up a bit. “And yes, it has been worth it.”

Something about the way his eyes soften, and his smile lifts causes Yeosang to have issues
speaking for a moment. He cleared his throat and Wooyoung blinked, suddenly turning pink and
turning away from him. “I… I feel like you were only so curious because I was so closed off.”

“That’s probably true.” He laughed, pointing out a sign down the block. “That’s the place.”

The strange moment passed by and was forgotten as he led the way inside the restaurant. He chose
a booth for them to sit at. When the waitress appeared Wooyoung ordered for them, including
drinks knowing Yeosang would end up choosing water, and the waitress left them to be. They sat
in silence for a while, awkwardly sitting and looking anywhere but each other.

Yeosang felt really out of practice of being sociable.

Thankfully, Wooyoung was more normal than him. “So besides work and study, please tell me you
actually have some hobbies or something you do that is relaxing and simply out of enjoyment.”

He laughed, rolling his eyes. “I do study out of enjoyment.”

“Bullshit.” Wooyoung playfully cursed him, shaking his head, unimpressed.

Smiling, feeling amused, he shrugged. “I used to read a lot.”

“You don’t read anymore?”

Their waitress arrived with their food, and settled multiple plates of raw items and side dishes on
the table. Question forgotten for a moment, Yeosang watched as the boy started the table grill and
began to cook the meat for the both of them. The smell caused his stomach to rumble and his
mouth to salivate, as it had been so long since he had something like this. Wooyoung seemed to
notice his change in demeanor, because he smiled as he put the first piece on the boy’s plate.

Taking the bite, Yeosang’s eyes closed and he couldn’t help the soft, pleased moan that escaped
him. When he opened his eyes, he found Wooyoung giving him a pleased look, smile wide. He
blushed, laughing softly and covering his mouth as he continued chewing. Sometimes all it took
was a friend and some good food to boost the mood. He hadn’t felt this at peace in months.

Wooyoung’s smile stayed in place as he continued to cook their food, splitting the meat between
him and Yeosang. Though he gave more to the other boy. “What do you normally like to read?”

At first he was confused by the question, but then he remembered their original conversation. “Oh,
umm, I guess whatever is sitting there. My mom used to go to used bookstores and buy an armful
of cheap books. Half of them made their way back to donation, but there were a surprising amount
of hidden gems.” His heart swelled painfully while talking about her, remembering weekends spent
over a pile of books.

“You don’t do that anymore?” He looked up, almost having forgotten he was speaking out loud to
another person. Wooyoung was giving him a somber look, seeming to sense his own melancholy in
his words.

Yeosang shrugged, giving him a vague response. “I’ve grown up. Other things have become
prioritized. You know, school, university, work.”

Nodding slowly, he reached out and placed a piece of meat on Yeosang’s plate. “You must miss
those days. Being young and hanging out with your mom.”

“Yeah.” He looked down, slowly bringing the food to his mouth. Even though it was delicious, he
found it hard to swallow.

“I understand though. Me and my mom used to cook together all the time, but then highschool
happened and it seems I barely have enough time to simply talk to her. She’s busy with work, I’m
busy with school. I think I haven’t had a meal made by her since school started.”

Yeosang looked up, seeing a familiar sadness in his eyes. “Growing up sucks.”

He laughed, nodding in agreement. “Do you think it sucks more for us to grow up, or for our
parents to see us grow up?”

Thinking about it for a long time, he thought of how he had been distancing himself from his
mother when he reached his teenage years. It hadn’t been until last year that they had grown super
close again. “I think it’s more heartbreaking for them.”

Wooyoung took a bite of rice, and gave him a look. “You think so?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we’ve got this instinct to leave the nest and to be on our own. We’re raised and
expected to eventually take care of ourselves and not rely on our parents. For them though, I think
once you have kids, you do what you can to prepare them, but you never stop worrying, or trying to
parent them, because it’s always been your job to lead and teach them, you know?” Yeosang
sighed. “I don’t think it ever ends once you become a parent.”

Looking up, he saw the wheels turning in Wooyoung’s eyes before he spoke. “Yeah, but sometimes
people aren’t exactly good parents.”

“Of course not.” Yeosang reached for some sprouts, shoving them into his mouth, which he
covered to speak while chewing. “I do think all parents try to be good. At least in the beginning,
but it’s got to be difficult taking care of something that is destined to try to separate themselves
from you.”

He smiled at him, shaking his head. “Your parents are the good kind, aren’t they? The ones that
make you believe love is real and that everything will turn out amazing because they love you and
that’s enough sometimes.”

Yeosang was far less ready for this conversation than he had expected. He felt emotions rising in
his chest, but he tried hard to swallow down the tears that threatened to flood his eyes. Instead, he
smiled, trying not to remember his parents dancing together in the middle of the night. “My parents
are pretty great.”

Taking a moment to watch him, he finally spoke, adding more meat to the grill. “See, that’s why
you’re so apologetic for parents. Some people have parents that make being a person difficult. I
know some with parents that should have never had kids in the first place. If they don’t live the life
they expect, then they are a waste of their bloodline.” His mouth turned down in distaste.

Maybe his own parents hadn’t been like that because they didn’t have much in the first place to
pass on. As long as Yeosang did well for himself and was happy, that’s all that mattered. Maybe he
was blessed in a strange way to have been born to parents who didn’t have money, but did have
love.

“Are your parents the good kind?” He asked, turning the question back on him.

Wooyoung took another moment to think, flipping the meat. “Yeah, I think so. I think their jobs
sometimes take too much of their lives, but they try to make time for each other, and for me. I
don’t feel super pressured to follow any specific path, as long as I have a path.”

He watched the boy’s eyes shift between emotions, as if confused and really thinking about it.
Yeosang accepted the meat offered, holding out his plate as the boy loaded it. He was becoming
quite full, but he wasn’t turning it down just yet. “What is your path?”

“Dancing.” He said it with a guilty smile, face turning pink. “I want to go to a good arts school and
study dance.”

Feeling himself genuinely smiling, Yeosang leaned forward, interested. “How do your parents feel
about that?”

Deep sigh, making a face that showed that it was complicated. “I’ve been in dance classes for a
few years, and they’ve never made me question my choice. Though, I do think they’re a bit
worried about money, as any parents would be.”

He chuckled, agreeing. “What do you want to do with it? Like after university.”

The blush intensified. “Ballet.” His face showed his embarrassment, as if the confession was
shameful. “Or backup dancer for a popular band or singer. Either would be cool.”

Yeosang watched the conflicting feelings of passion and embarrassment dance across his face.
“That’s really cool.”

Eyes finding him, his blush faded a bit and he laughed awkwardly. “I don’t really tell people that.
Being a backup dancer is cool, but doing ballet is seen as girly.”

He rolled his eyes. “Who cares what other people think. Do what you want. It’s your life, right?
Especially if your parents are on board enough not to get in your way. That’s a blessing any kid
would want.”

Wooyoung’s eyes shined as he looked at him, and he beamed, turning away from him to focus on
the last of the meat that was grilling. “What about you?”

Laughing, he shrugged. “I have no fucking clue. At one point I wanted to be a writer, a

veterinarian, an artist.”

“Are you good at art?”

Barking out a laugh, he shook his head. “Absolutely not. I used to love splattering paper with paint,
that’s about as far as I got with that dream.”

Joining in with his laughter, he turned off the grill, putting the last of the meat between them.
“Well, academics wise, with how you’re going, you’d be accepted into any school you wanted.”

“Hopefully.” His smile softened. “Whatever I can do to make my parents proud.”

Wooyoung smiled warmly at him. “I think any parent would be proud to have a son that tries as
hard as you do. Not many kids our age have your drive.”

Those feelings began to rise, and he knew if he didn’t change the subject soon he would end up
crying. “I can’t eat much more.” He said, while taking another piece of meat. “I barely ate
anything besides the meat.”

Laughing, he let the topic change, whether on purpose or otherwise. “Well, I really only came here
for the meat anyway, so it’s alright. That’s where all the cost is.”

They finished eating as much as they could, letting the topic settle into more surface level things,
such as the exams. Yeosang still didn’t like watching Wooyoung pay for him, but he reiterated that
he was going to eat here whether he came or not. He didn’t believe him, but there was no arguing
with him. He was too full and tired to argue anyway.

“Well, I should get home.” Yeosang said softly, smiling awkwardly, not knowing how to end
things.
Wooyoung nodded, eyes drooping happily and hand holding his slightly extended stomach. “Yeah.
I need a nap.”

He laughed, rolling his eyes. “I’m heading this way.” His hand motioned in a direction he knew
was the opposite from where Wooyoung walked. While they had been getting closer, he still
wasn’t ready for people to see the truth.

Thankfully, the boy didn’t have enough of an inkling to even question him. He smiled. “I’ll see you
on Monday.”

“Yeah.” He smiled back and waved, leaving him behind as he walked away.

Walking in the opposite direction for a couple blocks, he waited until he was sure he was far
enough away before turning back around. He headed in the right direction, which wasn’t exactly
off from the way he had pointed to, but enough that he had to walk an extra ten minutes to get back
on track. When he made it home, the food had settled quite a bit and he laid down to relax for a bit,
deciding that he too, would take a nap.

~~~

Wooyoung was stumbling with tiredness by the time he made it home. As he went to put the key in
the lock, he was surprised to find it already unlocked. Opening the door, he looked around and
noticed that the lights were on. Wandering through the long corridor, he moved through the living
room and to his parent’s office.

Inside he found his mother typing away at her computer. “I thought you would be working late
tonight?”

She jumped slightly, not having heard him arrive, and he laughed at her, moving over to lean on
the desk. His mom gave him a playful glare. “I am working, but I decided to bring it home. Your
dad said he would be home early tonight, but…” She picked up her phone, empty of any text
messages. “I don’t know if that’s still the case.”

Sharing in her mixture of amusement and frustration, he gave a knowing smile. “He’ll make it
home.” She smiled up at him, not looking very convinced. “How was work?”

“Pfft.” She made a gagging noise, rolling her eyes. He laughed. “Tell me about school. What did
you place?”

He proudly puffed out his chest. “One forty-two.”

She gave an impressed look. “Better than last year.”

“I’ll do better in the actual exams.”

Scoffing, she gave him an expectant look. “Yeah, you better.” Wooyoung laughed, smiling as he
moved to sit in a chair. She watched him, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “You’re in an extra good
mood today.”

He shrugged, becoming guarded. “I had a good day.”

Looking over at the clock, she took notice of the time. “And who were you hanging out with before
you came home, because I know well and good you didn’t stay late to study.”

Wooyoung’s face burned brightly against his will, and the corner of her lips rose before he even
answered. “I got dinner with a friend.”

“A friend.” She nodded slowly, smile lifting and turning sly. “A new friend?”

His eyes narrowed at her questions. “Yes, mom, a new friend.”

She pursed her lips in amusement, nodding again, letting her eyes look back at her computer
screen, though she didn’t look very focused. “That’s nice. Are you going to invite them over
sometime?” He watched her eyes flit back over to him, as if she was going to see some quick
reaction out of him.

“Not while you’re home.” Wooyoung grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Huffing at that, she gave him a pointed look. “No friends over when we’re not home.”

He gave her a blank look. “That’s not… whatever mom. Sure, I won’t invite any friends ever
again.”

She frowned. “You know what I meant.”

“Oh do I?” Wooyoung gave her a mock look of confusion, challenging her to be straight forward.

“No girls in the house when we’re not home.” She said it clearly, looking over her glasses at him.

It was all fun and games until she said that. He knew it was coming and yet he still kept going, so it
was really his fault when his feelings got hurt. Wooyoung sighed, looking away in the end and
nodding, because to correct the pronouns now would be calling himself out. “Yes ma’am.”

She took notice of his drop in mood, though for the wrong reasons. “Trust me, better than having
rumors going around.”

He nodded, smiling weakly at her. At that point, the front door opened and he let a genuine smile
come to his face, though it was weaker than it would have originally been. “That’s dad.”

Walking in, his father, decked out in a nice suit, held up two bags that were obviously filled with
food. “I got dinner.”

“He already ate.”

Wooyoung winced. “Sorry. Didn’t think you guys would be home so early.”

His father shrugged. “Then let’s eat dessert first.”

“That I can do.” He smiled, following his parents out of the room to the dining room, watching
them chat happily, his mom trying to peek into the bags.

~~~

Over the next few weeks, Wooyoung and Yeosang continued to grow more comfortable with each
other.

Yeosang found himself more willing to start conversations with him. He still kept up a bit of a
guard, being vague about his family and home life. It seemed either Wooyoung didn’t notice, or
did, and could tell that was a boundary not to step over. They both found themselves gravitating
toward each other more and more.
He hadn’t had a friend like that in a while. Wooyoung was proving himself to be someone he could
rely on. Not in the money sense, or that there was anything really he needed, more just that he
knew what to expect from him. Yeosang knew he would be there to his right, willing to answer his
questions, or just simply distract him sometimes when he got too lost in his thoughts. Wooyoung
didn’t know that that is what he was doing, but he played along when he could see something was
bothering his new friend, knowing they weren’t at a point where he felt comfortable enough to ask
such probing questions.

One thing that did frustrate both of them, for different reasons, is that suddenly Yeosang was
becoming quite popular with the girls in their class. Not just in their class, but other classes as well,
as he found himself having to turn down too many attempts at dating. Girls would give him gifts,
or ask him to tutor them, or simply float around in his vicinity when it was break time or lunch.

That’s another thing that had changed, he would sometimes join Wooyoung and Yunho outside of
the class for lunch. As his income became more steady, and he was able to finally budget well, he
could sometimes find the cash to be able to buy something and eat with them. Not only was it nice
to give his mind and body a break from his aggressive studying, but it was nice to have something
other than noodles.

It was usually on these occasions that girls would approach him. At first it had been amusing on
Yunho’s part, knowing that Yeosang was an awkward guy in general and had issues being rude to
them, and Wooyoung’s crush on said awkward guy. Until it wasn’t amusing, and it became
annoying, and it sometimes fell on him to chase the hopeful romantics away. Especially since
Wooyoung sometimes got a little too emotional when telling them off. He couldn’t let his friend
draw that kind of attention to himself.

Sometimes they would have dinner together after school, at Wooyoung’s preferred restaurant.
Though there was sometimes he tried to pay for himself, neither of the other two boys ever let him.
It was frustrating, but eventually he gave up even trying. Having friends was nice though, and it
became a strange boon on his soul he wasn’t expecting. His mom would really like them,
especially Yunho who was more of a bookworm than she had been. He spouted quotes like they
were a foreign language.

Being around them became a norm, and even though they were never invited to his place, and he
never went to theirs, they still accepted their strange new friend. Having friends that didn’t push
him, and gave him his space made living his life bearable. Especially Wooyoung, who went out of
his way many times to make sure he was comfortable and not overwhelmed. He was a really good
friend.

Wooyoung struggled a bit, because the more tiny little tidbits of information he got out of him, the
more he wanted to force his way into his life. Not in a nosy way, but in a way that he was
becoming completely obsessed with him. Though he respected the unspoken boundaries, he wished
he could burrow in the boy’s mind and know everything about him. Like where his mind went
when he caught him looking out the window and smiling, or when the rare occasion he would talk
about his parents and his smile made him want to meet the people who had raised this person his
heart was longing for.

He always kept these feelings to himself, only sometimes taking the much needed chance to spill
his guts to Yunho, who only smiled sadly and nodded his understanding.

Cold morning chill covered in heavy jackets morphed into cool sweater-wearing sunny middays as
winter morphed into spring. Midterm exams were right around the corner, and as expected,
Yeosang became distant as he dove straight into studying. Wooyoung sometimes studied with him
 at lunch and in the library after school, but even he couldn’t keep up with his intensity.

Of course, when Yeosang needed peace the most, something had to come along and fuck it up.

Chapter End Notes

We about to get into the meat of it homies!

 Tutoring
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

It was Monday, the week before midterms.

School was over already, and Yeosang was in the library studying. There were a few other people
there, but he had a specific corner he liked, because he usually didn’t see other people, unless they
were only walking past. His nose was in his notes, scribbling away quickly as he looked between
textbooks and assignments.

A shadow fell on his papers and he looked up, expecting Yunho or Wooyoung, but instead found a
very pretty girl smiling awkwardly down at him, books hugged to her chest. They stared at each
other for a moment, and when she realized he wasn’t going to speak first, she laughed awkwardly.

“Umm, you’re Yeosang, right?” Her voice was light, almost pretty in a weird way. Her long dark
hair was tied up in a messy bun, and the sweater she wore was oversized, basically covering her
whole body.

Swallowing his nerves, he nodded. “Can I help you?”

Smiling, not able to look him in the face for some reason, her eyes settled on his notes. “Uh yeah, I
was hoping you would tutor me a little in math.” His eyes hardened, and when she saw that she
rushed out a hand, as if telling him to ‘hold on’. “I know you don’t usually tutor people, but math is
the only midterm I don’t feel like I’ll pass, and if I don’t my parents will kill me. Plus, we all know
you’re basically the smartest in our year.”

Though flattery might work for others, it only made Yeosang internally cringe. “I’m sorry, I also
have to study and like you said, I don’t really tutor people. I’m sure someone else would gladly-.”

Her eyes turned guarded and she turned her eyes away. “I asked someone else, and it was fine at
first but then they started getting touchy and now…” She sighed, wiping her hands on her legs as if
her palms were sweating thinking about it. “Everyone knows you’re only interested in getting good
grades, so I thought I could trust you.”

The way her eyes darted, as if scared someone would be listening struck his heart a little. This girl
was obviously affected by that experience, and he sighed. “I just… I’ve got to…”

“I can pay you!” She rushed forward, interrupting him before he could outright say no. Her eyes
turned playful. “I know you and wooyoung like to snack. I could pay in food. You wouldn’t have
to worry about dinner for a bit, and I’m an amazing cook.”

Yeosang didn’t like the thought that this stranger knew that much about him and Wooyoung’s
eating habits, but he had heard stranger things from girls who actually were trying to get with him.
He looked her over, feeling like there was an honesty about her. Cursing internally, he did think
teaching someone else would be a good form of studying. Maybe.

He gave her a serious look, leaning back in his chair. “Fine.” Her eyes brightened, and her smile
spread across her face. “Two hours everyday after school, four to six. You miss one day, don’t find
me the next.”

She nodded happily. “Of course, you can count on me to be punctual.”

“And it’s only this week. Next week I’m going to be fully focused on my own exams.” He put on
his best serious voice, trying to emulate Yunho.

Holding up her hand, as if swearing on a bible, she nodded seriously. “Starting tomorrow I will
bring food as well, so you’ll keep your energy up.”

Closing his eyes, feeling like he would regret this, he pointed at the open chair next to him. “Sit.”

She looked surprised. “Right now?”

He nodded. “Show me I’m not going to waste my time. What’s your name?”

“Jangmi.”

Moving over to the open seat, she sat down and put her books on the table. He started by asking
her what she was comfortable with and what she needed help with. Over the course of a couple
hours, he learned that she wasn’t impossible and was actually smart. It was mostly the most recent
equations they were learning that had her stumped.

While at first Yeosang had expected her to drain him, and he would end up regretting it, he actually
found her easy to teach. She didn’t talk nonsense, she stayed on topic, and though still confused,
seemed that it wouldn’t even take her the full week to catch on. He would guess that it was the
teacher’s way of teaching that was her biggest issue, because he could see her already showing
improvement by the time they split a couple hours later when he needed to leave for work.

“Can I get your number, in case something changes or you can’t make it?”

Yeosang didn’t have a phone, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. She would probably think he was
lying anyway. “If I’m not here, then I can’t make it. I’m sure you know I’m always here.” He gave
her an awkward look, and her cheeks pinkened.

She bowed and smiled. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

“Mhmm.” He dipped his head and promptly left her there, rushing off to make sure he wasn’t late
to work.

~~~

The next day, the final bell rang, and he began packing up his things.

“You going to the library?”

Yeosang nodded, glancing up at Wooyoung as he hoisted his bag. “You coming?”

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. “I wish. No, my mom and dad are free and they got tickets to a
play, so it’s a family night.”

A little tinge of jealousy panged in his chest, but he laughed it off. “Only you would be upset that
your parents are willing to give you a night off instead of forcing you into a textbook for eight
hours.”

Yunho, hearing the conversation, paused as he passed. “He would rather study with you than hang
out with his parents.” Wooyoung gave him a narrow-eyed glare. “Like any normal teenager.” He
added, laughing as he noticed Yeosang’s smile that showed that he didn’t understand the
undertones at all. “I’ve got to go. Have fun at the play.” He pressed a hand to his heart when he
looked at Yeosang. “Have fun with your true love.”

Yeosang frowned. “What?”

Wooyoung laughed. “He means your study notes.”

“Oh.” He smiled awkwardly, feeling slightly defensive. “I like to study.”

“Yeah, yeah. We know, buddy.” He patted him on the shoulder, giving him a playful look. “I’ll see
you tomorrow.” Yeosang nodded, waving him off.

Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, he set off for the library. It was slightly more full than the day
before. He was sure that by the weekend it would be packed everyday, and he would start studying
at home instead. Yeosang preferred the hum of the library and the atmosphere, while at home the
air and small walls felt stifling.

Surprisingly, Jangmi had already arrived and settled into her new spot. She smiled as he arrived,
pulling out his chair for him, causing him to frown, but he didn’t say anything. Yeosang wasted no
time, pulling out his things and beginning the session right away. As the day before, she stayed
focused and they made progress. It made him wonder if he should actually consider tutoring
students to make extra money on the side.

At the end of their two hour session, when he called it quits so he could focus on other subjects,
she began to pack her things. Then she pulled out a medium sized food container and placed it on
the table. “Your payment.” When it had left her bag, he could already smell the tantalizing smell of
meat. She opened the container and an overflow of food appeared, and he couldn’t keep his mouth
from watering. “Just bring me the container tomorrow.” Jangmi laughed as he reached for the food.
“And don’t forget to tell me what you think of it. See you tomorrow.”

After happily scarfing down the admittingly delicious food, he packed his things and headed off to
work, planning to study more after. The walk home was pleasant, the bite of winter becoming less
and less each day. When he made it to work, he was pleasantly surprised to find Seonghwa
working. He had only been there on weekends since university started.

“Hey, Seonghwa.” Yeosang smiled at him as he came around the counter.

The warm smile that greeted him turned suspicious when he looked over his face. “Why do you
look so chipper?”

He frowned, looking down at himself, as if that would let him see his face and what he saw. “I feel
like I’m the same.”

“Hmm.” Seonghwa didn’t seem impressed. “Wanna eat first? Just made some dumplings for
myself.” He pointed down at the plate in front of him.

Yeosang shook his head, patting his stomach. “Already had dinner.”

“You never eat unless we force you to. Who fed you?” His eyes looked him over, as if looking for
a physical answer.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m tutoring this girl and food was the agreed upon payment.”

In passing by, Mrs. Park heard this and paused, arms carrying a tray of dirty dishes she was taking
to the back. “You have a girl feeding you? You never talked about a girl before. What’s she like?”
Yeosang groaned, shaking his head at their suggestive words. “It’s not like that. I’m just tutoring
her, she made me food to thank me and as a form of payment.”

She raised her eyebrows, looking over to her son who shared a knowing look with her. “Okay.” She
didn’t sound convinced, but didn’t say anything else as she walked past to the sink.

The boy frowned at their shared looks. “It’s not like that. She has not made one comment about
anything besides math.”

Seonghwa laughed. “Math is the least flirtatious subject.”

Yeosang huffed, turning and ignoring them as he focused on work and ignored any more
comments about it.

~~~

Yeosang was quite tired the next day during school. He found his eyes drooping every so often.
After work, he had stayed up far too late studying. His overzealousness seemed to be his downfall
today, as Wooyoung had to wake him even after the end of school bell rang.

“Did you stay up all night again?” He gave him a warm smile, waking him up by softly running his
hands through Yeosang’s shaggy hair.

Yawning, he stretched his arms above his head, brushing off the hand that pulled a strand, pulling
his head to the side. He ignored the laughter that came in response to his pout. “I wasn’t paying
attention to the time.”

Wooyoung nodded, still smiling. “Did you eat at all today? I didn’t see any food when I left or
came back from lunch.”

He frowned, waving away his worried remarks. “I’ll eat later. I’m fine.”

Yunho joined in on the aggressive care. “We’re just worried about our baby.” He patted his head,
giving him a mock worried look.

Grumbling, he glared at them. “I said I’m okay.”

Wooyoung laughed, pushing Yunho’s hand away. “You better eat before work.”

“I don’t work today.” He said absently, rising to begin collecting his things. “I’m going to the
library.” His eyes shifted to Wooyoung expectantly. “You coming today?”

Biting his lip, he looked away, for some reason trying to fight back a smile. Yeosang raised an
eyebrow at the look, but Wooyoung schooled himself, shaking his head. “Maybe I’ll join up later,
but I got to head home for something first.”

“You don’t have to come all the way back if you’re already going to be home.” He said, hoisting
his bag and giving him a smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, and I’ll make sure to pick
something up on my way home.”

His friend’s eyes narrowed as he grabbed his bag and began following Yunho out, pointing at him
accusingly. “You better or I’ll find you and kick your butt.”

Yeosang rolled his eyes and followed them out, turning in the opposite direction. His mind was a
bit foggy from the lack of sleep, and when he arrived at his spot he was surprised to find someone
already sitting there. Then he remembered his previously planned tutoring session and shook his
head, trying to wake up his mind.

Walking over, he smiled awkwardly as Jangmi looked up at him expectantly. “I’m sorry, I kind of
forgot we were doing this.”

She gave him a worried smile, looking over his features. “Yeosang, you look exhausted. If you
need to go home and get some rest, we can skip today. You’re teaching me well enough that I
don’t think one day will mess me up.”

Yeosang shook his head though, pulling out his things. “No. I already said I would. You need to be
tutored and I still need to study. I’ll go home and rest after.”

“You sure?” She still looked worried, and he found it annoying to have a third person try to tell
him what to do.

He frowned at her and pointed at her notebook. “Open it. Let’s go.”

Jangmi laughed at his tired demand, and did as she was told.

For the first hour, everything went as smoothly as usual. Listening in class had lulled him to sleep,
but being the one teaching seemed to be just what he needed to wake himself up. Everything was
going well until his stomach started rumbling loudly. At first he ignored it, but after a few minutes
of the constant noise, Jangmi started laughing, causing him to blush.

“How about we take a break, and you can have the food I made early. I’m kind of hungry too.” She
didn’t wait for an answer, and began pulling out a couple lunch boxes, placing one in front of him
with chopsticks. “Eat, we can continue after.”

Yeosang wanted to argue, but the smell gained control, and he begrudgingly opened the container.
The sight alone made him melt, and he couldn’t help the happy grin as he dug in. Unfortunately,
this lull in teaching meant the silence was awkward. It didn’t stay silent for long.

“How is it?” Jangmi gave him an expectant look, bringing a bite of food to her own lips.

He nodded, mouth food, smiling to show his thanks. “It’s really good. You really know how to
cook.” Yeosang looked down at the food. “I haven’t had a good home cooked meal in a long time.”
He smiled awkwardly at her. “It tastes like it’s straight from a restaurant.”

Beaming, her cheeks flushed. “That’s really kind of you.”

They settled into silence again, and he remembered the empty container from the day before.
Reaching down, he grabbed it out of his bag, placing it in front of her. “At least there's no chance of
me forgetting them.”

She waved a hand, laughing. “It would be fine either way. We have tons of these at home.”

“Do you cook all the time? Who needs math when you can cook like this?” He wasn't that great at
compliments, but by the way she smiled he must be doing it right.

Jangmi shrugged, looking down at her food. “I cook when I have a reason to.” Her chopsticks
poked at her food. “Does your mom not cook for you?”

At the mention of his mom, he froze up. “Not often.”

“Oh.” She looked up, seeming to sense the sudden tension. Changing the topic, she lifted a piece of
meat from her container and placed it in his. “I must have missed a piece. I don’t really like this
type of meat, but I was sure you would like it.”

He nodded awkwardly, thankful for the switch of topics. “I do, thank you.”

After they ate, they continued tutoring. With food in his stomach finally, he felt invigorated, and
the rest of the time flew past. As they said their goodbyes, he watched her stuff her bag with the
extra container. Well, a couple more days of that food and then no more. He felt kind of sad, but
then also, he would return to his peaceful alone time. Yeosang thought for a moment. Yeah,
besides Wooyoung, he would rather study alone with no food, than have more awkward
conversations with this girl.

~~~

Wooyoung smiled to himself, looking down at the bag he was carrying. He knew Yeosang would
be mad if he bought him food, so he rushed home to make food for him. He rarely got to cook for
other people, but the thought of watching him eat the food he made had his heart skipping beats as
he hurried to the library. The excitement almost made it hard to breathe, and he had to school his
features as he walked inside the building.

While still quiet, it also was a loud quiet. Many students were congregated in the building, studying
alone or together. Midterms were so close, that he could smell the academic fear in the air. He
ignored all of that though, and followed the familiar path back to Yeosang’s favorite spot. From a
distance, he could see that shaggy head of hair and he felt the smile widen on his cheek, enough
that soon it would start to hurt.

Before he could get close though, he saw the unfamiliar shape of a girl next to him. Stopping in his
tracks, he moved off to the side and down a bookcase, looking through the shelves. She looked
vaguely familiar, messy bun and body length sweater not giving much away. In their hands were
lunch containers, and he could see both their smiles.

Yeosang’s awkward smile, directed toward this girl, drove something sharp into his heart. He
couldn't hear what they were saying, but he pointed at the food and said something, and he
frowned as he watched her blush, looking away. Wooyoung’s blood slowly turned cold as he stood
there for a couple minutes, watching the conversation continue as they laughed and blushed and-

A scene of him walking up and slapping the food out of their hands filled his head, and that’s when
he knew he needed to walk away.

Betrayal seeped into his chest, wrapped around his heartache, and caused his throat to close up and
his eyes to well with jealous tears. As he walked past a trash can, he angrily threw the bag he was
holding into it, causing others around him to look up in surprise at the noise. He ignored them
though, vision clouding with tears as he stepped out into the cold air and pulled his hood tight,
trying to hide from the world.

He wanted to go back and scream at them. Wooyoung wanted to grab Yeosang by the collar and
demand a reason why he would do this. Why would he accept food from her but not him? How
could he laugh and smile at her, but not him. In his mind, he knew he did laugh and smile at him,
but not like that. It wasn’t awkward and cute, and meant for pretty girls that brought him food.

Wooyung didn’t know how he had made it home. One moment he was slamming the door open to
the library, and the next he was slamming the door closed to his room, throwing himself onto his
bed. He had held in the tears the whole walk home, but now that he was in a safe space, they fell.
Staring at the wall, he hugged a pillow against his chest and let them fall.

After a few minutes, a soft knock found his ears. “Yeosang?”

Shit. His dad. “Yeah?” He tried to clear his throat, wanting to sound as normal as possible.

“Can I come in?”

He shook his head, even though his dad couldn’t see it. “I’m fine. Sorry for slamming the door.”

The door opened slightly anyway, and his dad peeked in, his balding head reflecting the light above
him. “You don’t accidentally slam doors.” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re lucky
your mother isn’t here, she’d kick your ass.”

Wooyoung rolled over, hiding his swollen face. “I don’t really want to talk, dad.”

“Okay.” There was a pause before he spoke again. “I’m here when you want to.” He didn’t get a
response, so he closed the door, leaving his son to cry alone.

As the tears began to dry, Wooyoung could finally think a bit clearer and felt embarrassment
overtake his heartache. He didn’t realize just how much he liked Yeosang until he saw him flirting
with that girl. It was all a playful crush, liking from a distance but never taken seriously, until the
terrible sight of the expected future was in front of him. Yeosang was probably going to find a nice
girl to marry, and he would still be this lonely, closested boy.

“Don’t fall in love with a straight boy.”

Yunho’s warning at the beginning of their friendship came to him, and he cursed his prophetic
abilities. Now that he had calmed down, he realized he wasn’t mad at Yeosang. None of this was
his fault. It’s not like he could know his feelings, or expect such a thing of his friend. Wooyoung
was doing this all to himself.

He was the one holding the knife that stabbed his heart.

Eventually, he rose from his bed and left his room, going in search of his father. When he found
him, he was sitting on the couch with his mom, television on in front of them. They both looked at
him expectantly, probably already having talked about his earlier entrance. Sighing, his mother
moved to the side, patting the now open spot in between them. Feeling the tears began to return, he
walked over and fell between them, letting the arms hug him.

“Alright, get it off your chest.” His father’s soft, but deep voice was just over his shoulder.

Wooyoung stayed silent for a long moment, wondering if he really wanted to talk about it.
Eventually he sighed. “I saw the person I like flirting with someone else.”

His parents shared a ‘I told you so’ look over his head before his mom spoke. “This is that ‘new
friend’ you told me about?” He nodded, not looking up from his hands. “What happened?”

He sighed. “They were eating together and laughing.”

Frowning, his dad pulled back a bit. “That’s it?”

Wooyoung looked up, scowling. “You don’t get it. I’ve never even seen them talk to this other
person before. They’ve never talked about them, and they barely even go have lunch with me and
Yunho, who are their actual friends. They’re too busy studying to do anything besides work, study,
and sleep.” He could see that they didn’t understand fully, not knowing Yeosang like he did. “It’s
just really out of character.”

Taking a moment to think, his mom finally sighed. “Honey, maybe it’s not what you think, if it’s
really that strange.” He grumbled, wanting that to be true. “If it is, you either have to move on or
confess.” Wooyoung’s body deflated. “I know that sounds harsh, but if you’re not willing to
confront them and tell them your feelings, you’re just gonna keep getting hurt by them not knowing
and finding someone else. You can’t even blame them.”

He sighed, knowing she was right.” “I can’t confess. It's… complicated.”

An unseen, knowing look is shared between his parents before his dad nods. “It always is.”

A moment passes and his mom pats his arms. “Want me to find something sweet to eat. We can
find a stupid movie to watch to get your mind off things.”

Wooyoung shrugged, not exactly feeling better, but definitely more clear headed. “Yeah, that
sounds nice.”

After an evening with his parents trying to make him feel better, when he found himself laying
down for bed, he still found it difficult to sleep. His mind played through scenarios of how that girl
and Yeosang had met, what they talked about, and them dating. It was almost worse when the
daydreaming shifted to visions of him confessing his feelings and Yeosang accepting them.

He truly was gifted at torturing himself.

~~~

Yeosang had a strange day.

Wooyoung was distant the whole day, barely looking up from his desk as the day went on. Even
when lunch came, he had left with Yunho without asking if he wanted to come along. Even Yunho
was confused, sharing worried looks with Yeosang. He was so used to the boy always being
vibrant and loud, that seeing him like that caused his stomach to twist anxiously.

What was wrong with him?

When the final bell rang, Yeosang watched as he quickly collected his things. No longer able to
keep quiet, he reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling his attention. Wooyoung gave him an
impassive look, causing him to pull his hand away awkwardly. “Are you okay?”

His friend shrugged, returning to packing his bag, but it didn’t seem as rushed as before. “I’m
fine.”

Yeosang rolled his eyes, standing and walking around his desk to face him head on, ignoring the
people who gave them curious looks. “Bullshit. What’s wrong?”

Eyes turning hard, he narrowed them at him. “I said I’m fine.”

Taken aback by the aggression, his face fell, and a strange twinge in his chest made it hard to speak
for a moment. Adopting a softer tone, he dipped his head, trying to get him to look him in the eyes.
“You never let me hide from you. Don’t do the same to me.”

Wooyoung’s eyes closed, and the pain that flitted across his face was so easily read, that Yeosang
almost reached out to hug him. He didn’t though, knowing how awkward that action would be. The
worry was rising in his chest, and he just wished he would talk.

The boy he now considered his best friend sighed, having taken the time to school his emotions
before looking at him again. “I hurt my own feelings.” He laughed, not a drop of humor honeying
his words.

Behind him, having heard this, Yunho patted Wooyoung’s back. “Nothing I can do about this.” He
gave Yeosang a strange, knowing look. “This is all you, man. See you guys tomorrow.” The boy
frowned at his words and actions to leave. He walked past, giving pointed looks to people who
tried to linger and eavesdrop. At his impassive, yet focused, gaze, the room emptied, leaving the
two alone.

Yeosang had a moment to be impressed by Yunho’s ability to clear a room, before he focused back
on Wooyoung. “Speak to me, Wooyo.” He had heard Yunho use the nickname once before and had
thought it was cute, but had never used it himself until now.

That pained look returned, and he gave him a hopeless look. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m
just in a bad mood.” He shrugged, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.

When he tried to walk past, Yeosang stopped him. “Oh, no you don’t. You don’t get to force me
into opening up to you, and then deny me the same courtesy to be honest with me when you’re
trying to run away.” He paused. “Is it something I did?”

Wooyoung laughed, giving him a look he couldn’t read. “No, Yeosang. You haven’t done anything
wrong. You’ve never done anything wrong.”

His tone is soft, and kind, and sad, and the words make him feel defensive and guilty at the same
time. “If it’s not me, then why won’t you talk to me?”

Something snaps in his eyes, and they become more focused. “Who is that girl you were eating
with yesterday?”

Thrown off balance by the sudden turnaround onto him, he frowned. “Girl?”

He gave him an incredulous laugh. “Yes, the girl. The girl in the library that was feeding you.”

It took a moment for Yeosang’s mind to connect the dots until Jangmi came to mind. “Jangmi? The
girl I’m tutoring? What about her?”

Wooyoung’s eyes shifted across his face, looking accusatory and seeming to try to find some truth
or secret there. “You don’t tutor people, and you definitely don’t tutor girls.”

He took a step back, his defensiveness raising his hackles and watching the strange anger in
Wooyoung’s eyes. “She’s just a girl I’m tutoring for the week. After tomorrow I doubt we’ll even
talk to each other anymore.”

“Then why is she feeding you?”

Holding up his hands, he looked at Wooyoung with apprehension, almost afraid he was going to
strike him. His eyes were intense, and he felt like he was being accused of a crime. “She offered to
make food for me as payment. We don’t even talk about anything besides mat-” He paused,
confused at why he felt like he had to explain himself over something so meaningless.
“Wooyoung… why do you care?” A sudden epiphany hit him. “Oh shit, do you like her? I swear
it’s nothing like that. You know I’m not interested in people at all. I barely wanted to do it in the
first place.”
The light died in Wooyoung’s eyes. Yeosang watched as his friend deflated in on himself, and he
looked like he was about to cry. He shook his head, giving him a pained smile. “Finish tutoring
her. I believe you. She doesn’t even know I exist, so don’t even bring it up to her. Okay?” His eyes
were lifeless, and he moved past slowly, no longer the outgoing person he called his friend. He
laughed over his shoulder, sounding slightly crazed. “Don’t tell her, okay. Don’t embarrass me.”

Yeosang was frozen in place, confusion furrowing his eyebrows as he watched his best friend leave
the room. His mouth was slightly open, wanting to say something, but unable to bring words across
his tongue. Soon he was alone in the classroom that suddenly felt cold. Blinking slowly, he
collected his bag and left.

Part of him wanted to run away and not go to the library, but the guilty part of him couldn’t be
mean to a girl who didn’t know all of this was happening. Jangmi didn’t deserve to be stood up
when all she had done was ask someone to tutor her. So, even though he already felt regretful, he
began heading that way.

When he saw her sitting there, the apprehension in his stomach doubled, and he felt sweat appear
under his armpits. Yeosang stood back for a few moments, Jangmi unaware of his presence. He
could see why guys would like her. She was pretty, he supposed. Sighing, he tried to school his
emotions, wanting to get this over with as quick and painless as possible.

Taking a deep breath, he walked toward the table.

Jangmi’s eyes brightened as they landed on Yeosang. “Hey.” She gave a playful frown. “You’re
late. Aren’t you always punctual?”

He gave an awkward smile, placing his bag down and sitting, unpacking quickly. “Sorry, just had
something to do before I came here.”

“I’m just teasing.” She waved his apologies away. Turning toward her books, she began talking
about math. “I think all I need to focus on is…”

Thankfully, they stayed focused on math for the two hours. Yeosang was a bit distracted by his
thoughts of Wooyoung, but he was able to make it through without her saying anything. When the
tutoring session ended, they began packing, as he wasn’t planning to stay, and she took notice.

“You’re going home early?”

He nodded, not looking at her. “I have work today.”

Jangmi made a noise of surprise. “Working during midterms? Surely they aren’t that strict.”

“They won’t make me work during the exams.” He explained, hoisting his bag. “Have a good
day.”

Before he could turn to leave, she reached out to grab his arm. “Wait, Yeosang.” His eyes closed in
regret before anything even happened. Turning, he gave her a forced look of question. She blushed
before looking down at her hand and pulling it back. “I just… Yesterday a weird guy followed me
home and I don’t feel safe walking home so late anymore.”

Yeosang frowned slightly, seeing where this was going. “You want me to walk you home.”

Hearing his tone, she looked flustered. “Just this once. I was also going to tell you this would be
our last session so I can walk home with my girlfriends instead of staying late and walking alone.”
 The words ‘last session’ eased his apprehension. A simple walk home to make a girl feel safe, and
he could be done with the awkward situation. He sighed. “Sure, I’ll walk you home. You don’t live
far, do you?”

Beaming, looking relieved, she shook her head. “It’s only like a ten or fifteen minute walk from the
school.”

Nodding, he motioned toward the exit with a hand. “Alright, let’s go.”

Leading the way, she looked back and smiled awkwardly. “Also, I sort of forgot to bring you food
today because my mind was flustered. But, I can buy you some vendor food on the way if you
want.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He waved her off, falling into step with her as they exited the building.

A blast of cold wind hit them as they were leaving. Unfortunately, Jangmi wasn’t wearing her
usual heavy sweater, and she crossed her arms over her chest, wincing as the cold nipped at her
skin. “It was warm earlier.” She said miserably, giving him a pathetic look.

Cursing the good morals his mother had instilled in him, he shrugged off his jacket, having worn a
sweater underneath anyway, he draped it over the girl’s shoulders. “Well, let’s get you home
quickly.”

Her eyes grew wide, and she hugged his arm, beginning to drag him along. “Smart and chivalrous.
Your mother must be so proud.”

Yeosang was both thrown by the contact, and the mention of his mother. He wanted to throw her
off, but the inability to be rude for something so simple stopped him as he let himself be held and
pulled. Looking up at the heavens, he prayed the walk would be quick. After today, he would not
have to deal with any of this anymore.

~~~

Coming out of another door of the school, a tall figure frowned at the pair. His lips thinned,
incredulous, shaking his head. Pulling out his phone, he snapped a couple pictures. The boy
smirked, looking at the proof.

I fucking told him.

Chapter End Notes

Life is boring without having something to write, but at least I have this story to post.
I've been rereading some of the later parts and I can't wait for this story to be all out
and finished.

Also, I've been thinking of redoing my summary, because it just doesn't feel right, but I
haven't figured out how I want it changed just yet. So if you see it changed in the
future, know that's why.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter of DRAMAAAAA.

Also, I woke up last night to noises coming from my vent. Turns out, it was a bat that
got stuck. It's out and gone now, but it was not expected lol.
 Follower
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Choi San is what you would call 'popular'. Not in the way that everyone in his school would know
him by face and name, but amongst his peers and the girls and guys that were around him, he was a
figure to follow. Or at least, the other boys envied him, and the girls coveted him. It wasn't
something he liked or disliked, it was just a fact of his life.

He had looks, money, and charisma. Not the kind of charisma that was flirty or full of himself, but
the kind that made crowds part for thim, that made bullies turn down separate halls so as not to
have to pass him. Girls were smitten with the fantasy of a guy like him who would make other
guys be terrified to even look in their direction. You would assume this envied man would have it
all, but if you looked at the school board, you would see his academics was quite lacking, not that
he really cared.

Like any other handsome, popular boy, he had the prettiest of girlfriends. She was kind and smart.
The type of girl who was pure, and just holding her hand would feel like a gift if she allowed it.
That's the type of girl San liked, independent and unreliant of him, but still wanting him all the
same.

That being said, when Mingi had first brought him news of her hanging out with some dude in the
library after school, he had tossed the idea aside. "If they were studying, then that's probably all it
was. It's not the first time she's tutored someone."

Mingi hadn't seemed convinced, giving him an incredulous look. "If my girlfriend was that pretty
and hanging out with a dude alone, I would flip shit."

He had laughed. "And that's why you can't keep a girl for longer than it takes to get in her pants."

"At least I'm not a virgin." He teased back, going on the defensive.

San rolled his eyes, unbothered. "At least I know when me and Jangmi do it, we'll be each other's
first." He would never admit it out loud, but unlike other boys, sex didn't seem as interesting as
they made it out to be. San was perfectly happy to wait and hold off that part that seemed to make
boys lose a bit of their sanity.

Friday had come around, and it was like any other day. He hadn't seen Jangmi all day but that was
quite normal. Unlike other couples, they didn't really spend that much time together. They both had
other things going on, they were in separate classes, and they felt unbothered to be with each other
every single moment of the day, and that made San even happier to be with her. Having someone
not be clingy when he was more comfortable being alone, was a gift and that's why he liked her.
Sometimes they would have lunch together, or hang out after school, but it almost felt more like a
best friend than a girlfriend. That was true comfortability, right?

Lunch came around, and he left the room, Hongjoong following close. His serious face watched
the people passing with uninterest, but San knew he was actually paying close attention. As they
made it out the front doors, heading off to find some vendor or restaurant to eat at, Mingi came
running up. They never waited on him, because if they did, they could sometimes be waiting
forever while he gossiped or flirted.
"I have updates about the tutor." He spit out the word.

San sighed heavily, closing his eyes in annoyance. "Will you give it a rest? I don't care."

"She's your girlfriend." He frowned, confused because that should be all the reason to care. "Look,
tell me you have nothing to worry about."

Holding up his phone, forcing the other two to stop and look at it, he showed them a picture.
Unfortunately it seemed Mingi was a great photographer, because they could clearly see the two
faces. That was definitely Jangmi, smiling wide and snuggling close to the boy, in a jacket that San
knew full well wasn't his.

Unfortunately, even he could tell that the boy was pretty. Though his hair was shaggy and long, it
was swept back in a handsome way. His eyes were wide, and he had an awkward smile on his face,
as if confused, but she was beaming, and San felt his annoyance and anger rise in his chest. She
wouldn’t cheat on him. She knew what that would do to him.

"Who is he?" San turned away from the phone, beginning to walk again.

Mingi shrugged. "No clue."

"Kang Yeosang, class 23, top twenty in the school from the mock exams." Hongjoong was the one
to answer, always knowing more about everyone in the school than anyone else. He was like a
stalker, and it sometimes scared his friends, but he simply paid attention, to everything. "You gave
him socks that one day."

San frowned, barely remembering a boy with soaked through shoes and socks. "Oh. Did I?"

"Mhmm. I've seen him around, mostly sticks to himself. Has like, one friend." Hongjoong
continued passively, taking control of their direction and leading them off toward his own favorite
vendor.

Sighing, he rolled his eyes. "I'll talk to her after school. See what she says."

Mingi didn't seem happy with the way the other two were calmly passing by what he thought was
earth shattering. "That's it, you'll 'talk to her'?"

He raised an eyebrow as Hongjoong ordered for the three of them. "What do you want me to do?
Go beat him up because she was all over him? I’m not going to make a fool of myself over a
misunderstanding." On the inside, his heart was beating kind of fast.

"But he's a guy, he knows what he's doing." His eyes narrowed.

Hongjoon shook his head, finally coming back as they waited for their food. "Do you really think
all guys are like that, or you don't trust guys, because you're like that."

Huffing, he finally was silent, and they collected their food and went to find a place to eat.

San was frustrated, not talking as they ate, thinking over how to handle the situation. While he
didn't want to think Jangmi was that kind of person, she did look awfully happy in that picture.
They hadn't been dating for a long time, only since break, but he hadn't thought he would have to
worry about other guys. He had started dating her because she had seemed so honest.

What did sting was his pride. The thought that suddenly he wasn't good enough for her, that she
went to someone else. Or that she didn't care enough to even try to hide something like that, as if
he were a joke. If he didn't do or couldn't do anything, what kind of a boyfriend was he? What kind
of man? His mind filtered through the past, overheard conversations, causing his heart to ache and
his brows to furrow, not wanting to over react but that sick feeling that he knew too well was
beginning to settle in his stomach.

After eating they made their way back to the school. He was now watching, looking for either
Jangmi or this Yeosang kid. The people around him could sense his serious mood, used to his
unbothered impassiveness. His eyes never settled on a messy bun or shaggy head of hair though.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the kind of person to pay attention in class, which meant his mind drifted
easily and kept bringing up that picture and her smile. He was so fucking annoyed. Maybe he
should be jealous, but instead he was irritated that he had to deal with something like this. If he
didn't do something, other people, specifically Mingi, would never let it go and it would just make
him even more angry.

He hated that it was bothering his peace.

She wouldn’t do that to him. There was no way. She was one of the few people who understood
things that he didn’t talk to about anyone. Had it all been a lie? Was it all an act? We’re her kind
and understanding words just that, words meant to appease him?

San’s impassive face hid it well, but as the day went on and he continued to think about it, his
insides were twisting.

~~~

Yeosang had hoped by the next day everything would calm down, but Wooyoung still looked
depressed when he showed up just before the bell rang. He wondered if it was timed on purpose, so
that neither he nor Yunho could talk to him. His eyes kept shifting over, finding it hard to focus
with his friend being so outwardly upset.

He had never liked someone like that, enough to have it affect him for days on end. At most he had
little crushes when he was in middle school, but it never had him reacting like that. They seemed
more like friend crushes than anything romantic. He found it difficult to empathize, because he
couldn’t understand what Wooyoung was feeling.

When the lunch bell rang, he turned, his words stuck in his throat as Wooyoung stood to leave.
Thankfully, Yunho was a no nonsense friend. He reached out, grabbing him by the back of the
shirt, like a kitten snatched by its mother.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Wooyoung’s eyes widened in shock as he stumbled backwards, balance
thrown off. He turned and pointed with his free hand at Yeosang. “You’re coming with. I’m paying
for lunch. You cannot and will not refuse.”

Yeosang and Wooyoung shared an awkward look, before the other boy shifted his eyes away, but
didn’t respond or try to leave. Giving Yunho a nervous look, he nodded and followed the two out
of the classroom. They didn’t speak the whole way to their normal restaurant. Wooyoung trailed
behind them, letting the other two lead the way a couple meters ahead.

When they settled into a booth, no one spoke, except for Yunho who ordered food. Eventually they
were relatively alone with each other, with Wooyoung by himself on the opposite seat. The air was
tense, and Yeosang found it hard to look up from the table, unable to meet either of his friends’
eyes.
Yunho finally broke the silence as the food finally arrived. He stood, and they both looked up in
confusion, and he smiled. “I’m actually not that hungry, so I’m gonna pay and go back to school.”
Both boys began to argue but he narrowed his eyes, silencing them. “When you come back to that
classroom, you better have cleared things up, or I’m going to kick your asses.” He smiled, though it
was kind of sinister. “Understood?”

Yeosang and Wooyoung shared another awkward look, before they both nodded. They watched
him leave, the tension becoming even thicker. It was suddenly stifling, but Wooyoung sighed,
beginning his usual task of grilling the meat. They sat in silence for a few more moments, before
the tension was broken by him placing a piece of meat on Yeosang’s plate.

“I’m sorry for acting like a child.” His voice was small and soft, not looking up.

Picking up the meat, he ate it, watching the way the boy’s face pinkened. He nodded slowly. “You
know I’m not interested in anyone like that. Nor would I even entertain someone that I knew you
liked.”

Wooyoung sighed. “I don’t actually like her.”

Frowning, confused, he extended his head forward, as if he hadn’t heard clearly. “What?”

“I don’t actually like her, I was just jealous that you ate her food.” His ears were flaming red, and
he tried to hide his face as he continued to grill meat.

He was in shock, confused, as he took in and thought over his words. “Wait, why?”

Shrug. “You won’t let me feed you, but some random girl offers you food and you eat it with no
problem.” He looked up, embarrassment plain on his face. “What makes her so special?”

For a moment, his mind was stunned, unthinking, and then he barked out a laugh, feeling a small
bit of relief. Yeosang shook his head, giving him an incredulous look. “You are the strangest boy I
have ever met.”

Pouting, Wooyoung pulled back the meat he was about to place on Yeosang’s plate. “What do you
mean by that?”

He smiled, laughing softly. “You’re so obsessed with taking care of your friends that you got
jealous when someone else did it instead of you.” He shook his head, taking in the embarrassed
way Wooyoung shifted his eyes away, finally placing down the meat on his plate. “You’re
something else, Wooyo.”

Though his eyes seemed conflicted, there was an obvious look of relief and Yeosang could see
some tension lifted from his shoulders. “Have you never had someone want to take care of you?”

Yeosang’s smile weakened, and he shrugged. “My mom.”

Something in his eyes shifted, and he looked down at the grill. Yeosang had never spoken in length
about his parents, especially his mom, but he was pretty sure Wooyoung had long guessed why
that was. “No girlfriend or anything? No other friend like that?”

“No.” He barked out a laugh. “I’ve never dated someone before. Also haven't had that many
friends.” Yeosang smiled at the way Wooyoung’s ears seemed to perk up. “Definitely never had a
friend as good as you.”

Wooyoung’s pleased smile, that he tried to fight back, was clear as day on his face. “So you’re not
mad at me, or weirded out that I’m…” He paused, and Yeosang frowned at the strange sense of
panic that flitted across his face. Seeming to collect himself, he rushed out. “That I’m that kind of
friend?”

Giving him a warm, though slightly annoyed, smile, he shook his head. “I find it uncomfortable,
because I'm not used to it, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take care of the people you
care about.”

His eyes fell to the grill, voice turning so soft Yeosang almost couldn’t hear it. “I do care about
you.”

Yeosang’s heart felt weird, warm, and heavy. It felt like when his mom would hug him and tell him
she loved him. He smiled, feeling a little overwhelmed. “I…” He didn’t know what to say, too
awkward and ignorant of how his own emotions worked. “You’re my best friend, Wooyo. I’m
awkward, and weird, and emotions are even weirder, but you make me feel normal. If it weren’t
for you, I’d probably be sitting at that desk, studying, and pretending the rest of the school didn’t
exist.”

As always when they talked about their emotions, Yeosang felt lacking, and the emotions in
Wooyoung’s eyes looked complicated, like a language he couldn’t read.

The other boy smiled after a moment of taking in his words. “I’m your friend because you’re weird
and awkward, so don’t worry about being normal.” A moment of awkward eye contact forced their
eyes away from each other, causing Wooyoung to laugh and throw a piece of meat on his plate.
“And let me fucking feed you.”

Yeosang narrowed his eyes, picking up the meat and placing it in his mouth. “I’ll think about it.”

The other boy glared at him, but of all the emotions in those eyes he couldn’t understand,
happiness was the one he could read loud and clear.

~~~

At the end of the day, San hoisted his bag, which he had never unpacked, and walked out of the
room. He pulled out his phone, texting his girlfriend. It took a few moments, and he didn't get a
response back until he was at his locker.

Jangmi: Sorry! My sister is giving me a ride home today, I'll see you on monday

San sighed, not wanting to wait that long to have a conversation with her. He wasn't the type to talk
or text over the phone much, especially something like this that was better done in person. If he
were being honest, he was too scared to confront her, and find out the truth is what Mingi thought
it was. He didn’t know how he would handle it.

Putting away his phone, and closing his locker, he turned and was assaulted by that shaggy head of
hair. Chewing his cheek, he leaned against his locker and watched the boy, who was down the
hallway. He was talking to another boy, shorter, smile small but kind. Raising an eyebrow, he
watched as the short boy said something that made shaggy hair frown and say something back,
causing the other to smile fondly, patting his hair for a second.

When shaggy hair closed his locker, the two set off, and without thinking, he followed. He stayed
at a distance, keeping them in sight as his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out, seeing
Mingi’s name.

"What?"
"Where are you? Weren't you going to come over today?" In the background were many voices.
He was probably still at the school.

He sighed. "Sorry, not tonight. Something else came up."

There was a pause. "Did you talk to her?"

"No. I'm following him."

An excited noise filtered through. "Gonna kick his ass?"

Rolling his eyes at his friend's need to cause problems, he physically shook his head. "No. I'm just
curious."

"Oh. Boring."

Another eye roll. "Mingi. Get a life." He hung up.

A few blocks down the road, the two boys split apart and shaggy hair continued on, while short
boy made a right. An eyebrow rose as he watched short boy stop and watch the retreating figure for
a moment before heading off. Interesting.

San continued staying at his distance, frown deepening the longer the walk went. At about thirty
minutes he grew frustrated, wondering how long he had to follow this kid. They were heading to
the poorer side of the city, causing his curiosity to increase even more. Who was this kid?

At forty-five minutes, just when he was about to give up and turn around, he saw him turn into a
dingy, hostel looking place. He didn't even wait, following him in. Like a stalker, he creeped
around corners until he watched him go into an apartment. Walking forward, he took stock of the
apartment number, then turned and walked out of the place.

When he was back outside, he tried to calculate in his head where his apartment was. His mind
went through the floors and turns he took, then he walked around the side and counted over until he
found the one. He wasn’t sure at first, but then he saw a school uniform drying on a line on the
balcony.

Does he live alone?

He took stock of the small size of the apartments, according to the windows and the doors he saw
inside. Also, there seemed to be only one size and style of clothes on the line, fit for a boy shaggy
hair’s size. There was no other sign of another person living there from what little he could see.
Even outside the apartment door, there had only been one pair of ratty old shoes.

The light was on, and he could see a figure moving around inside. He moved out of sight as the
balcony door slid open. The boy stepped out and began to take down his clothes from the line. He
watched him for a moment, face impassive, watching the lifted corners of the other boy’s lips,
easily seen even from there.

His mind had struggled to remember his name, but it came to him as he saw his smiling face.

Yeosang.

What about him, besides maybe his looks, made him better than San? He was obviously poor.
Looking at his hair, he barely seemed to care about his appearance at all anyways. The clothes
hanging there were simple t-shirts, nothing to second glance at. So what if he was smart? Was that
all it took to throw San away?

What was he doing wrong to deserve this?

~~~

Wooyoung’s heart was a heavy object filled with conflicting feelings. His walk home nearly took
twice as long when he had separated from Yeosang, because his mind was busy replaying their
conversation at lunch over and over again. He had, kinda, confessed some amount of his feelings
to him.

If it were anyone else, maybe they would have seen deeper into the things that he was saying, or
have been able to read his face, but Yeosang often took things at face value. It was a gift to his
nerves, but a curse to his heart. He had almost spilled everything right then and there, but fear had
held him back.

He couldn’t risk losing Yeosang.

Wooyoung liked to think that the boy wouldn’t judge him for liking boys. He thought the thing
that would make him uncomfortable would be that it was Wooyoung liked him, not because he was
a boy, but because he was his friend, and a confession like that would make things too complicated.
At this point in their friendship, he knew that Yeosang would be happy if no one liked him like
that. He knew he found it uncomfortable, and more of a burden than a compliment or good thing.

The boy just wanted to do well in school, and anything that got in the way of that was not
something he wanted. If Wooyoung didn’t know him as well as he did, and didn’t give him the
space he needed, he doubted they would have even grown as close as they had. Honestly, if he was
still that pushy person from the first few days of school, he was sure Yeosang would be avoiding
him like the plague.

So he had said as much as he could without fear of losing his friend. Luckily, he had taken it in
stride and had mostly laughed him off. While it hurt to not be able to have that deeper
conversation, everything had turned out better than expected. Yeosang had accepted his ‘strange’
personality traits, mistaking his ‘need to take care of his friends’ as something that he did for all
his friends, instead of recognizing that he himself was a special exception.

Yeosang was currently the most important person in his life, and the one that was causing him the
most frustration and pain.

~~~

The weekend went by slowly. Yeosang had to work Saturday, but once Seonghwa had commented
about it being midterms week, his parents had immediately tried to send him home to study, but he
denied them. He needed the money, and while they relented, they grumbled and gave him a hard
time about working too hard.

When he made it home that night, a bag full of food to last him the rest of the weekend, he had
promptly sat down and began studying. Sometimes his mind would shift over to Wooyoung, a
smile playing on his lips as he struggled to focus. By the time he went to bed, it was well past two
am.

He had trouble falling asleep, thinking over the conversation at lunch. Remembering the words he
had said made his heart light, and the smile return to his lips. Yeosang gazed at his ceiling,
wondering how he had been gifted with a friend who cared so deeply. He thought of his mom, and
wondered if she had sent him, because they were kind of similar.

Wooyoung was aggressive in the way he took care of Yeosang, and if he hadn’t set boundaries, he
was sure the boy would smother him. It made him feel weird, but not really in a bad way. He found
it difficult to understand the strange feeling that had, very recently, begun to settle in his chest
when he was with him.

Seeing him made his day better. Talking to him could soothe his nerves. Being around him made
him feel safe and heard, and warm. He had never had a person like that in his life besides his mom,
and he hadn’t thought another person like that would come around again. Could he also care about
him as much as it seemed Wooyoung cared about him?

He thought about his laugh, and his smile, and the way Wooyoung would glare when he would
deny him the ability to do something for him. Yeosang’s smile grew and his chest felt warm. There
were people in his past, before everything went dark, that he had thought had been best friends, but
had he known someone like Wooyoung was in his future, he wouldn’t have given them a second
glance.

His mom would be so happy for him.

~~~

San got home late, having taken his time walking back home, hoping that when he finally walked
through the doors the house would be silent. He didn’t get his wish, as he walked through the iron
gates and saw that the lights were on in the windows. Taking a deep breath, he turned his key in
the lock and walked through the door.

The large house felt so empty, and yet so suffocating. He would normally stay at Hongjoong’s or
Mingi’s place most days, but he had chosen to follow that boy instead of going with his friend,
which meant he had to come back home. San’s already nauseous stomach twisted more as he
followed the sound of a tv into the front room.

His mother, hair a mess, robe dirtied with a splash of something that had fallen onto it, sat staring
at the tv, eyes seeming unfocused. In her hands was a wine glass, but on the table was a bottle of
whiskey, showing what the brown liquid in her glass actually was. He watched for a moment, chest
hurting, as he took in her zombie like eyes.

Sighing, he gathered his strength and moved forward. “Hey mom.”

The zombie eyes shifted, and when they landed on him, he winced at the sneer that settled easily
on her face. “Oh looky here. Decided to show your face? What? Is that whore no longer interesting
so you thought you could just crawl back?”

He shook his head, moving forward. Though it was difficult, he tried to ignore her words, tried to
forget them as soon as she said them. “Mom, it’s me, San.”

Frowning at his words, her eyes seemed to focus just slightly, and her face morphed into a drunken
smile. “Oh, baby.” She struggled to rise. “You look hungry. Let mom make you som-.” She
stumbled, spilling the liquid in her cup, and he rushed forward to catch her, holding her at the
elbows.

“I’m okay, mom, I ate with some friends. Let’s get you to bed.”

San tried to take the glass from her hand, but her flushed face returned to anger, and she snatched
her hand back, the glass now empty as the rest of the liquid flew out.. “What, you let that bitch feed
 you?!” His mom pushed at his chest, cursing. “You think that whore is a better mom!?”

She’s drunk. She’s drunk. She’s drunk.

He repeated the mantra in his mind, shaking his head and rubbing her arms. “No, of course not.
You’re the best mom a boy could have. But I’ve got school in the morning, so we should get you
to bed, so you can make me breakfast.”

Having done this too many times, he knew what he was doing, and she settled in his arms, smile
returning. “Oh, yeah. You like pancakes with bananas. I’ll get up early and make you pancakes.”

San nodded, a fake smile on his face. “Come on, mom.” She finally relaxed and let him lead her
along.

When he finally got her in bed, slipping into sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, he collected a
glass of water and some headache medicine and placed it on her bedside table. He watched her
sleep for a moment, pulling up the covers for her, he sighed, trying to not to let the day get to him.
After a moment, he rose and went to his own, dark room.

Laying in bed, he looked up at the ceiling, wishing he didn’t have to go back to school. Wishing he
could leave the house right then and never return. He wished he could find peace. San wished he
could have just one good thing in life that wouldn’t turn on him, or hurt him, or leave him.

San’s dry eyes wouldn’t give away any of his thoughts if someone were to look at him, laying in
bed, alone.

Chapter End Notes

San is here!!!!!!!! I'm so happy. Also, please be kind to Mr. Mingi lol, he's just a teeny
bit toxic lol.

My brain is foggy today, which really sucks because I wanted to get some writing
done, but I feel off, every neighbor has decided it's the day to do yard work, and
people are blaring their stupid bass in their cars outside their house for no freaking
reason...

Anyway,,, hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!!!

 What You're Thinking
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

San was exhausted.

He had had trouble sleeping over the weekend. The next morning after finding his mom, she acted
like nothing had happened. She probably didn’t remember him even coming home by the surprised
look on her face when he had come down the stairs the next day. They had both pretended like
nothing was wrong, awkwardly chatting about nothing.

It was draining being in that house.

Suffice to say, by the time Monday came around, exams or not, he was happy to leave and go to
school, if only to get out of that house. Unfortunately, that also meant facing the things that had
been festering in his mind. His eyes started looking for Jangmi as soon as he stepped foot on
campus. It wasn’t her he found first though.

Down from his locker, he could see Yeosang putting on his school slippers. Part of him wanted to
confront him, but there was something, not innocent, but harmless about him. San watched him
flinch as someone screamed behind him, looking back, eyes widening before relaxing when he saw
it was just two boys messing around.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned against his locker, full on facing him, but the boy never
noticed. A tall boy, towering over him, walked up and pulled his hair playfully, seeming to scold
him. Yeosang’s face pinkened while a sheepish grin grew on his lips. San narrowed his eyes,
taking in the display of pretty teeth.

San knew what he himself looked like when he wasn’t smiling, which wasn’t that often. He looked
intimidating, mean, on the edge of aggressive. His eyebrows furrowed naturally, making him look
uninterested or unimpressed. He was still handsome, but compared to this fluffy haired prince, he
was the villain in the story. No surprise that someone might choose that boy over him.

That festering feeling curled his lip, and he forced himself to turn away. As if feeling his well built
willpower crumbling, a devil arrived at his shoulder. Mingi sidled up next to him, and he could see
his friend watching Yeosang down the hallway. He was not in the mood to listen to him, but he
kept his mouth shut, knowing if he argued Mingi would get loud and make a scene.

“He looks weak. Pretty, like a girl.” His mouth was curled into a smirk, laughing at his own jab.

San sighed, rolling his eyes. “What do you want?”

He didn’t seem to be bothered by his tone. “What happened when you followed him the other day?
Have you talked to Jangmi?”

“Nothing happened. No, we haven’t talked.” Closing his locker, he started walking away, and as
his friend followed, he was very happy they weren’t in the same class.

Mingi muttered something under his breath, but San ignored it. “You’re just going to let it
happen?”

“I will talk to her at lunch.” He turned to glare at him. “Is this my relationship, or yours?”
Holding up his hands in surrender, he shook his head. “I just don’t want anyone making you look
like a fool, man. I’m looking out for you.”

“Feels more like you’re trying to rile me up.”

Giving a mock offended look, he held a hand to his chest. “I just think you’re being too lenient and
calm for something like cheating.”

The word, being spoken out loud for the first time in reference to him, caused the hairs on his neck
to stand and he glared at Mingi. “Go to your class. I’m tired of hearing you speak.”

Even Mingi, inches taller and confidence overflowing, took a step back, smile falling at the serious
tone and deadly glare. He laughed awkwardly, waving as he left. “Alright, alright. I’m going. See
you later.”

He stepped into the class, knowing full well he was not going to do well on these first exams.

After the three hour torture which was silence alone in his thoughts while the pencils around him
moved quickly across papers, he was finally free. He immediately went to find Jangmi. There was
no more time to wait around, his heart and mind was too filled with apprehension and anger to wait
anymore.

San found her at her locker, a couple girlfriends bemoaning the exam as she laughed and agreed.
When he showed up, there must have been a lot showing on his face as the girls gave him one look
and said their goodbyes. She turned and looked at him, eye furrowing as she closed her locker.

“What’s wrong?” Jangmi stepped forward, reaching out to rub his arm.

It was a strange feeling, because she hadn’t done that before, but he honestly couldn’t remember
the last time he had been upset like this. Swallowing his tension, he motioned with his head toward
the entrance. “Can we talk? Somewhere else.”

Her frown deepened, but she nodded, and he turned away, not waiting to see if she was following.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, the early spring sun beating down on them, giving them
a semblance of warmth even though the wind was still biting with chill. San led them to a secluded
corner of campus before turning toward her.

Now that he was face to face with her, he found it difficult to speak for a moment. She gave him
time, patiently waiting and giving him a worried look. He took a deep breath before finally letting
it spill out. His heart was beating fast, but suddenly his mind was clear and calm.

“I saw a picture of you holding that Yeosang guy’s arm. Apparently he walked you home?” His
tone was dry.

At first she looked confused, but then her face morphed into understanding. She shook her head,
laughing. “That- he was just walking me home because I was scared to go alone.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And hanging out with him all last week after school, making him food?”
The betrayal settled in his chest. “You’ve never made me food, and you’ve never mentioned being
close enough to another dude to have him walk you home. You could have asked me.”

Face falling from the smile at the first misunderstanding, she gave him an incredulous look. “He
was tutoring me. I made him food as payment because he wasn’t going to accept money.” Her eyes
hardened. “And you leave school as quickly as possible everyday, and take forever to text or call
back.”
Having her begin to turn this situation on him had his defenses raised. “Oh, and does he text you
back?” He made a disgusted face.

Eyes rolling, she crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a judgemental look over. “First off, I
don’t have his number. We have not spoken at all outside of those few study sessions, which are
over by the way, because it was just for these exams. Secondly, what the hell is this? You act all
cold and distant for weeks, barely pretending I exist and suddenly because I was around a dude,
you want to act like you’ve been an amazing boyfriend this whole time?”

He took a step back, not having expected this outburst. “Why are you turning this on me? You
hugged his arm and smiled at him! Any person would see that and think the worst.”

Nodding, she pursed her lips. “I had a lapse of judgment and treated him like one of my girlfriends,
I’ll give you that. I apologize for that.” Then she took a deep breath. “But, the fact that something
like this had to happen for you to remember I exist. It’s telling enough where we stand in this
relationship.”

San frowned. “What? So I don't text or call you all day, I didn’t think you were that type of girl.”

“I’m not, but it would be nice to not be the one initiating every single conversation or date.”
Jangmi’s fight left her eyes, and exhaustion took its place as she finally let out what had obviously
been bothering her for a while. “I thought eventually you would open up to me and trust me, but
it’s obvious that’s never going to happen. I barely feel like we’re friends. Like, when's the last time
you were affectionate toward me?”

His mouth opened, but no words came out as his mind rushed to try to find something. “I-.”

She barked out a laugh, unsurprised. “You can’t even think of anything.” She sighed. “Three
weeks ago you kissed me on the cheek after one minute of conversation before leaving, and it was
prompted by Mingi.”

San was frozen in place, mind blank as he took in all her words and realized that everything he
thought was wrong.

Jangmi took another deep breath, giving him a soft, pitying smile. “I get why you freaked out, but
the fact that that happened on Thursday, and I’m assuming you knew pretty quickly, and you spent
the whole weekend building me up as a villain instead of just talking to me…” She shrugged.
“Why are we dating? Because at this point, I don’t know.”

Stepping forward, he tried to reach for her arms, but she shrugged him off. His hands dropped, and
he looked down at them. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“No.” He looked up, finding her rubbing her face. When she lowered her hands, she gave him a
fierce look. “I need time to think, and obviously so do you. And don’t you fucking dare talk to
Mingi, talk to Hongjoong.” For the first time in minutes, she laughed softly, and he tried to smile
back, but it was weak. “I think you’re afraid of both being alone and intimacy, which is not a good
combination when you have a girlfriend.”

He was taken aback once again, thrown by the way she was suddenly unloading so many things. “I
like you, and I want to be with you. You said you didn’t like physical affection or-”

Holding up a hand, she stopped his words. “I said I wanted to wait, that didn’t mean I wanted you
to treat me like I don’t deserve affection and kindness. You wanted a person to be there, not a
girlfriend, and you could have gotten that from your friends.” Jangmi shook her head. “I need to go
before I say the wrong things out of frustration.”

San watched her turn to leave, he rushed out. “I’m sorry.”

Pausing, she turned and gave him a slow nod. “Me too.” Then she turned to leave.

He watched her leave, frozen in place. San thought he would feel heartbroken, or betrayed, but
instead he felt kind of numb. There was a kind of draining of the heightened emotions he had been
feeling a moment before, leaving a dull nothing in its place. He could still feel the tinges of anger
and hurt pride, but he pushed it all down.

Maybe she was right, he really was messed up.

~~~

Yeosang stumbled out of the class, Wooyoung and Yunho close on his heels. He turned and
laughed at the way Wooyoung pretended to cry as he leaned against the wall, ignoring the looks of
other students. Yunho reached out, patting his arm as Yeosang watched on with amusement.

“I’m sure you did just fine.” The taller boy slapped his back after it went on for a moment too long.
“Get a hold of yourself. I’m starving.”

That made him perk up, glancing under his arms at the two waiting boys. “You’re paying?”

Rolling his eyes, Yunho shook his head. “I’m broke, you paid last time.” He turned to Yeosang.
“You pay.”

Wooyoung jumped up, wrapped his arms around Yeosang. “Don’t make the baby pay, he works
hard for his money.”

Laughing awkwardly, said baby pushed him away. “You guys always pay for me.”

“So.” Wooyoung shrugged. “We’re spending our parents' money, it’s different.”

Yunho seemed uncaring. “I don’t care who pays, it just isn’t going to be me.”

“I can pay.” Yeosang offered, being genuine. He had been saving up money, as he didn’t have to
pay for food that often anyway and he wasn't materialistic. He knew he could comfortably pay for
one meal with his friends. “Let me pay for one meal.”

His friend narrowed his eyes, but before he could deny him, Yunho slapped him on the back of the
head. “Argue over who pays when we get the bill, I’m starving. Let’s go.” The tall boy strode
away, not waiting to see if they followed, food being the only thing on his mind after frying it in
that exam room.

After some arguing, Wooyoung finally relented and let him pay the bill. He felt happy being able
to do that for his friends. That feeling boosted his mood and his smile stayed on his face as they
left the restaurant. They didn’t have to return to school, so they split with Yunho, who waved them
away as he headed home.

Wooyoung and Yeosang walked in the same direction for a bit, talking about the exam until they
came to the spot where they usually split, but this time, his friend held off, looking awkward.
“What’s up?”

He shrugged, letting a weak smile lift his lifts. “Do you want to study together? You don’t work
right? I could probably use the help for Korean and English tomorrow.”

Yeosang looked in the direction of his tiny apartment, that he still had never invited either friend
to. “Uh, I don’t think I should have people over.”

The other boy’s already weak smile fell a little, as if having expected this answer. “You could
come to mine? I don’t know if my parents are home, but they’re only kind of annoying.” He
laughed. “Okay, they can be pretty annoying, but they’re harmless.”

Chewing on his lip nervously, he looked back toward the comfortable solitude in the distance.
While he wasn’t totally against it, it felt like if he said yes this once, it would become a more
common thing he asked for and excuses would become more difficult. He hated thinking of
Wooyoung that way, but he knew if he gave an inch, he wouldn’t let Yeosang take it back.
Realistically, he knew it was normal for friends to actually hang out after school, but something
about it made him nervous.

When he looked back, something on his face must have shown what he was thinking, because
Wooyoung’s smile completely fell off his face. He gave him a shrug. “It’s okay. Maybe next time,
right?” He laughed, but there was no humor in it, plastering on a fake smile. “I’ll see you
tomorrow.”

Yeosang watched the fake smile drop before he could fully turn, and his heart hurt as his head
hung as he walked away. Feeling flustered, guilty, and scared all at once, he called out to him. “I
can’t stay that late.”

Pausing, Wooyoung turned, looking confused for a moment until a blinding, hopeful, smile grew
across his face. “That’s fine. Just for a few hours.”

He put on a rueful look, rolling his eyes as he playfully sighed in annoyance. Yeosang had to, or
the strange feeling that enveloped his heart would show through and that scared him more. “You’re
such a needy friend.”

Wooyoung had done a one eighty, completely returning to his gleeful, smiling self. “I wouldn’t be
such a needy friend if you weren’t such a distant one.” He bumped playfully against his shoulder as
they started walking toward his home.

Grumbling, but still feeling that odd sense of pleasure in his chest, he bumped him back. “Don’t
expect this all the time.”

“Of course not.” He put on a mock serious look, pursing his lips.

Yeosang sighed, rolling his eyes again, but couldn’t stop the smile from growing.

~~~

Wooyoung thought his heart was going to explode from both thrilling excitement, and stomach
twisting apprehension.

They walked into his house, and he watched as Yeosang looked around in passive interest.
Wooyoung had always had a sense that his friend was poorer than the rest of them, and part of him
felt almost embarrassed to be living in such a nice place. He got him a spare pair of slippers and led
him through the long hallway before it widened out into the open plan first floor.

“Umm, my room is upstairs.” His nerves were causing his hands to shake slightly, grabbing the
straps of his backpack tightly to hide it.
Leading the way up, he kept looking back, as if expecting Yeosang to suddenly judge him about
something, but he seemed calm, unbothered. Then they were standing outside his room, the door
open as he usually never closed it during the day. His stomach twisted as he moved to the side and
motioned for him to enter.

He looked at his room, trying to see it through Yeosang’s eyes. It seemed normal, full sized bed
with boring gray sheets and black blankets, gaming pc setup on a plain wooden desk, horrifying
amount of dirty clothes laying around an overflowing hamper. His walls were covered in girl and
boy band posters, a small shelf above his bed had some books, there was even a stupid lava lamp
his mom had brought him from one of her business trips.

Wooyoung rushed over, beginning to pick up the dirty clothes, trying to push as much as he could
down further into the already full hamper. “Sorry for the mess.”

Soft laughter reached him, and he turned to see Yeosang smiling absently, dropping his bag by the
bed. He watched his friend walk over to the computer, running a finger across the keyboard. “You
play games?”

Standing up straight, he nodded, walking over and turning it on. “Yeah. League mostly, sometimes
FIFA.” The computer screen turned on and he typed in his password, opening it up to the main
screen. “Do you play?”

He shook his head. “Never had a computer.” His attention shifted, and he moved toward the books,
smiling as he reached out to pull a book with a ballet dancer on the front. “Is this how you study
dance?”

Wooyoung’s face was beginning to pinken, and he grabbed the book out of his hand, pouting. “It
isn’t all physical.”

Smiling at his reaction, he moved to sit on his bed, smoothing a hand out over his sheets. The
blanket was crumpled up and halfway on the floor. “It smells like you in here.”

The way he said that sentence, voice soft and low, sent a wave of heat toward his stomach and his
eyes fell on his lips against his will. He cleared his throat, moving to sit down in his desk chair,
afraid of what might happen if he were standing while he couldn’t control his thoughts. “Is that a
good or bad thing?”

Laughing, he raised an eyebrow at him, amused. “Are you worried that you smell?”

He shrugged, looking away while he tried to fight back his blush. “Do I?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched with wonder as this insane boy lifted his pillow, closed
his eyes, and took a deep breath in through his nose. Yeosang lowered the pillow and gave him a
long, thoughtful, look before nodding. “You definitely smell good. Is it your shampoo or laundry
detergent?” He tossed the pillow away, as if he had done nothing at all.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s going to be the death of me.

“Umm, probably a combination.” Wooyoung’s throat was tight, words struggling to escape his lips
without sounding thick.

Yeosang gave him a worried look. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, you just talk too much and we’re supposed to be studying.”
The pretty, heart-wrecking boy threw his head back and laughed, shaking his head. “What is with
you today?”

“I’m worried about exams, let’s study.” He motioned toward Yeosang’s bag, and the boy grunted
his agreement, but still was smiling amusedly. Truthfully, Wooyoung knew frying his brain with
studying was the only way he was going to be able to stop his mind from thinking terrible, horrible,
perverted thoughts about the boy.

Sometime later, a couple hours having passed as Yeosang tutored with an iron fist, the sound of the
front door closing reached them. The boy looked up with interest, while Wooyoung felt his blood
run cold. He hadn’t expected them to be back so early on a Monday.

Please be dad. Please be dad. Please be dad.

“Wooyoung?” His mother’s voice drifted up the stairs.

He closed his eyes, cursing internally. Looking over, he saw Yeosang watching him with confused
amusement. “In my room.” He gave his friend a hopeless look. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He laughed, but Wooyoung could see the awkward apprehension settling on his face.

A moment passed as the sounds of footsteps heralded his mother’s form appearing in the doorway,
a look of surprise taking her face as she gazed on two faces instead of the one she was expecting.
“Oh. You have company.”

Wooyoung nodded, looking embarrassed. “Mom, this is Yeosang. This is my mom.”

“Hi Mrs. Jung.” He dipped his head, that embarrassed smile still on his face.

His mother beamed. “Well, aren't you cute?” Wooyoung was barely able to hide his horrified
widened eyes. She looked around and noticed their books, waving a hand at them. “I’m sorry for
interrupting, I’ll go make some snacks.”

“Mom.” He tried to stop her, but she was already bounding down the stairs.

“She seems nice.” Yeosang chuckled awkwardly, face just as red as Wooyoung’s.

Groaning, he shook his head, dropping his head into his hands. “I don’t normally bring people
home. This is why. She’s going to want to ask a million questions.” Wooyoung gave him an
apologetic look. “I know you don’t like probing questions, and my mom has absolutely no filter.”

While a look of nervousness took over, it didn’t stop him from raising an eyebrow at him, teasing.
“So that’s who you get it from?”

Frowning, he pouted at him. “You’re supposed to be my friend in this situation.”

Shrug. “It’s sweet. My mom wa- is the same way.” He corrected himself quickly, but Wooyoung
noticed, seeing the way a quick wave of fear crossed his eyes.

His heart became heavy, and he smiled, allowing it to pass. “Well, I’m sure we’ve studied enough
for today. If you want to run away while you can, now is the time before she tries to stuff us full of
food.”

“It would be rude to run away.” He smiled weakly, leaning back against the bed.

Wooyoung’s heart became slightly lighter, knowing how far Yeosang had come from that first day
to be willing to deal with this uncomfortable situation. For him. He knew it might not be that
realistically, but he can’t help but feel that he played some part in the boy’s decision to stay, deeper
than just simple respect and etiquette.

It wasn’t long before his mother was striding back in, a plate piled high with sliced fruit. Though,
by the looks of them, it was more chopped fruit. It was obvious she had sped through the process.
She beamed as both boys did their duty and reached out to take a piece and eat it.

“I don’t think I’ve met this one before.” She said conversationally, leaning against the door,
happily watching them eat. “He doesn’t often bring people home. We get worried he’s not making
friends.”

“Mom.” Wooyoung whined, giving her a cautioning look.

Unbothered by the embarrassment she was causing, she continued with a pleasant smile. “You’re
the one who’s the smart one right? The one that’s always studying?”

Yeosang’s eyebrows raised in amusement, looking over at Wooyoung. “I do study a lot. I take my
studies seriously.”

Sighing, she turned a furrowed look over at her son. “Your mother must be so proud. While my son
has to be threatened to get his studies done.”

Wooyoung’s eyes shifted over to Yeosang, finding that some of the light had faded in his eyes, and
his smile was weaker. Saving his friend, he stood quickly, looking at his phone for show. “Oh shit,
you have to go, it’s getting late.”

“Hey, language.” His mother scolded, momentarily distracted as her son helped pack his friend's
bag.

Yeosang let himself be ushered out past his mother and down the stairs. She called out a goodbye,
and he gave one back, but it was almost moments later when he was standing outside the house.
Wooyoung gave him a long look, before glancing up at the sky, seeing how close to dark it had
gotten.

“I can walk you home.”

Sighing, having relaxed, though a little deflated, Yeosang shook his head, giving him a weak smile.
“I’ll be home before it’s dark.” They stood there in awkward silence, both able to understand the
other fully in that moment.

Yeosang knew why his friend had rushed him out, and Wooyoung knew why his friend looked
sad.

“Thanks for inviting me over.” He said softly, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulder.

Nodding slowly, he looked down at their feet, his newer shoes and Yeosang’s faded old ones. “I
hope she didn’t scare you away and you’ll come over again some time.”

When he looked up, the boy was giving him a warm smile that made his heart flutter. “You really
do know me well.”

He swallowed. “You don’t have to say anything and I’d know what you were thinking.”

Yeosang’s hands tightened around the straps he held, eyes widening for a moment in a strange
emotion, before his mouth opened, and closed. He smiled awkwardly after a moment, nodding,
seeming to get a hold of himself.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Yeosang’s soft voice broke the silence.

The whole thing made Wooyoung want to grab him and kiss him, but he stayed still. Behind his
back, where his hands fisted, his nails were digging into his palms, keeping him grounded and
sane. Smiling, pretending like he wasn’t losing his mind, he nodded. “Yeah, of course.” His tone
felt forced, and he felt like the other boy could tell.

Turning, Yeosang walked a few steps before turning back to him, giving him a strange look, a mix
of confusion and apprehension, before he turned again and didn’t look back. Wooyoung felt his
heart finally slow, allowing him to breathe steadily again as the figure left his fight. He fell back
against the door, cursing internally and closing his eyes for a moment before turning to walk back
into the house.

His mother gave him a look when he walked past. “What was that?”

Wooyoung fought with himself for a moment, before deciding to be honest with his mom, hoping it
would help things next time. If he even ever wanted to come over again. “We don’t talk about his
mom.” Her face shifted with confusion, and he sighed. “He’s never said it, but he’s slipped up. I
don’t think his mom is alive.”

Face falling, her eyes swam and she brought a hand to her chest. “That poor baby. Oh, I should
apologize.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “No mom, we don’t talk about it. He hasn’t felt comfortable
enough to talk about it, so I don’t force it. When he wants to talk about it, then that’s when me and
him will talk about it. Not you. I don’t want him to think I’m gossiping behind his back.”

There were a few moments of silence as his mom studied him, before she nodded slowly and gave
him a small proud smile. “How did I raise such a good person?”

Wooyoung let out a deep breath, turning and beginning to walk up the steps. “I’m going to study,
don’t bother me.” Usually he would never speak to her that way, but his emotions were all over the
place and he felt like he was so close to losing his mental stability.

She seemed to be letting it slide, watching her son walk away. When her husband came home, they
huddled in bed that night. He looked amused as his wife told him about meeting their son’s ‘new
friend’.

~~~

Yeosang’s walk home was longer than he had made it out to be, making it home after it was
already dark. His mind was stuck on that look Wooyoung had given him when he said those words.

“You don’t have to say anything and I’d know what you were thinking.”

His chest felt strange when he thought about it. The more time he spent with Wooyoung, the more
confused he got. There was something between them that he didn’t understand. What about that
boy was so different from every other person he’s met in his life? Why did their connection feel so
foreign and strange, yet somehow was so much more than anything he’s had before?

Wooyoung didn’t treat Yunho in the same way he treated Yeosang. There were looks he gave him
that he never gave to anyone else. In his eyes, Yeosang felt different and special and it made him
 uncomfortable, but also he’s beginning to long for it. He’s found himself liking seeing those long
gazes, even if they also scare him for some reason.

When he finally made it home, he couldn’t focus on his studying and he blamed Wooyoung for
that. He couldn’t find it in himself to be mad or irritated though, letting his mind wander to his
friend’s sometimes too intense looks. Yeosang wished he had the confidence in himself to just talk
to him about it, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t, too afraid to ruin their friendship.

Wooyoung was special, of that he was sure of, and it made his heart ache painfully.

Chapter End Notes

The quiet before the storm. Next chapter is where it really starts to get interesting.
Ugh, I forgot how much I wrote on this beast lol.

Also, I'm still struggling to start something new, but I hope I have something new to
post by the time this one is completly up. Oh well, we'll see.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!!

 In Love With Him
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Yeosang found himself excited to go to school. Today’s testing was Korean and English, two
subjects he felt fairly confident in. Also, selfishly, he was excited to see Wooyoung. Apparently, so
excited that he showed up earlier than normal. So, to pass the time, he went to the library to get
some last second studying in.

When he arrived at his usual spot, he was surprised to find Jangmi sitting there, pencil scribbling
away.

He walked over, settling his stuff down as she looked up, surprised. “You’re never here in the
mornings.”

“Do you come early everyday?” He asked, sitting down and pulling out his stuff.

She looked around, looking awkward, before seeming to relax and shrugging. “I catch a ride with
my sister when she leaves for class, so I’m usually here a bit earlier than other people.”

He nodded. “I just couldn’t sleep well and sitting around my place was driving me crazy.” He
laughed, opening his books.

“I get that.”

After the small conversation, silence settled between them as they studied. It was a comfortable
silence, far different from when he was with Wooyoung, who needed complaint breaks every
fifteen minutes. It was nice though, almost relaxing, especially knowing that everything between
the boys regarding her was in the past and all figured out.

Eventually time was getting close, and they both got up and began packing up. Yeosang turned to
her. “Is your math exam tomorrow as well?”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” She gave him a nervous smile. “I feel confident, but still nervous.”

He nodded, understanding. “I think you’ll do just fine.”

Jangmi grinned. “Thanks. If I do well, I’m sure it’s all thanks to you.”

Yeosang blushed, dipping his head to excuse himself. “Good luck.”

“You too.”

They separated in different directions, and Yeosang walked toward his locker to put his bag away,
only allowed to take a pencil. When he showed up, he felt his chest warm as Wooyoung was
waiting for him. He gave him a rueful look, seeing the nervous face.

“Nervous?”

He scoffed, biting on the end of the pencil he held. “I’m freaking out.”

“You’ll do fine.” He closed his locker and turned to him, looking out across the sea of people
rushing around. “Where’s Yunho?”
Wooyoung dipped his head in the direction of their classroom. “Already there. I was waiting on
you so we could go together and you could give me emotional support.”

Rolling his eyes, Yeosang pushed his shoulder, moving him forward. “Just get to class. You’re
such a needy kid.”

He ignored the warm smile sent in his direction.

The exams were stifling at the halfway point, the air seeming to condense the longer they sat in the
enclosed rooms. Usually the windows would be open to help them keep cool in the hot building,
even in the springtime, but they were shut for the exams. Eventually, though it felt like eight hours
instead of three, they were set free at lunchtime.

Unfortunately, they didn’t get to eat together that day. Wooyoung had to go home, and Yunho was
still claiming to be broke, so they walked home. Today was different from all the days before,
because for some reason, they walked far slower than normal, making it take twice the time to get
to the spot where they split directions.

They didn’t speak much, comfortably walking in silence with each other. Yeosang didn’t
understand why they were doing this, why he didn’t want to leave him. What confused him more
was that, even though they didn’t speak, Wooyoung seemed to be on the same wavelength,
bumping into him and smiling for seemingly no reason. He was so confused, but also, strangely
happy.

“You better be studying tonight.” Yeosang scolded when they unfortunately reached the spot.

Wooyoung gave him a lazy grin, shrugging. “We’ll see.”

He narrowed his eyes. “If you don’t-”

“Will you punish me?” There was a strange thing that happened to his voice, getting lower for a
second before he seemed to catch himself and he laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll study, I
promise.”

Frowning, he watched the boy speed away. That has seemed to happen more and more lately.
Wooyoung would say something weird, and then he would get all shy and laugh it off or run away.
It was becoming kind of annoying, because Yeosang usually didn’t understand what was funny,
and he felt like he was being left out of a joke, or worse, being made fun of. He knew Wooyoung
wouldn’t do that, but he couldn’t help the feeling.

Shrugging it off, he went home, spending the night preparing for the next exam day.

~~~

The next morning, Yeosang grinned seeing Wooyoung waiting once again. The boy rolled across
the lockers to get out of his way, looking tired. He raised an eyebrow at him, seeing the exhaustion
clear on his face.

“I told you to study, not work yourself to death.”

He groaned. “I’m so dumb.”

“No you’re not.” Yeosang closed his locker, turning to face him, leaning up against his locker.
“Did you stay up late?”
Shrugging, he fell forward, leaning his forehead on his shoulder. “I got home late so I had to stay
up late to study.” The boy froze, unused to the physical contact, until Wooyoung pulled back,
looking shocked at himself. “I’m sorry. I just… did it without thinking.” He laughed awkwardly,
looking around before staring at his feet, anything to not look at Yeosang. “I’m too tired for my
own good.”

Swallowing as a strange heat spread across face and chest, Yeosang motioned toward the hallway.
“We should get to class.”

“Yes, we should.” Nodding quickly, he turned, walking quickly, barely waiting for the other boy.

Yeosang found himself kind of distracted during the beginning of the exam, unusually aware of the
boy a couple seats back. He wasn’t a very physical person, but he knew Wooyoung was, and
though he kept it to a minimum, he sometimes forgot and touched him. Most of the time it was
simply to rub his arm or touch his hair, but he was so close he could feel Wooyoung’s hair against
the skin of his neck. It had set that spot on fire and it made him uncomfortable, in more ways than
just negative, and he felt guilty about it strangely.

What was happening to him?

Eventually his mind let him focus on the exam and once that happened he sailed through. He was
pretty sure he aced it, but when he stepped outside he could see Wooyoung’s level of exhaustion
had doubled as he seemed to melt against the wall. Yunho and Yeosang watched with amusement
as he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground.

“I can’t do one more day of this.” He bemoaned, pretending to pull out his hair.

Yunho looked over at Yeosang, giving him a mocking, calm look. “I feel great. I could do this all
day.”

He decided to play along. “Yeah, I wish the tests were harder. They really don’t challenge us
anymore.”

Wooyoung glared at them as if trying to make daggers appear in their eyes. “I could kill you both.
You’re weak little book worms. It would be so easy.” He held out his hands, imitating choking
them.

Standing straight, Yunho dipped his head, giving him an unimpressed look. “As if you could even
reach.”

“Why you…” He began to stand, presumably to attack him, but a name made him pause, looking
up.

“Yeosang.” Jangmi called from down the hallway, heading toward him. He looked over to
Wooyoung, who looked slightly annoyed, but seemed to cover it well from everyone else.

She was basically bouncing toward him, excitement clear on his face. He gave an awkward smile.
“Hey, Jangmi, what’s up?”

Rushing forward, she threw her arms around him, hugging him. After a second she pulled back, not
seeming to notice the awkward look on his face, the narrowed eyes of Wooyoung, and the amused
smile of Yunho. “Thanks to you, I’m pretty sure I just aced that math exam. I have never felt more
sure of something in my life. After the exams, and I get those top marks, you should let me treat
you to one last meal as thanks.”
Her beaming smile faltered before Yeosang could even respond, and she tried to jump toward him
again, face morphing into fear.

“San no!”

~~~

Taking time to think wasn’t going as well as he thought Jangmi had expected. All it did was give
him more time to over think and grow more confused and angry. In the last couple days, he had felt
her words deeply, and had become confused about the way he had treated her. He was mad at
himself for making her feel that way, but also confused at how he was supposed to feel, realizing
that everything he thought about their relationship seemed to be some made up situation in his
head.

Then he saw her hug him.

She was never in this hallway, and neither was he normally, except when he was leaving, passing
by to grab Mingi. It was like a curse, that while he was struggling, feeling guilty and terrible, he
happened to see her bouncing down the hall with a smile on her face. Straight toward Yeosang.
That smile as she hugged him, pulling back and beaming while talking excitedly. He couldn’t hear
what she said, but the devil on his shoulder appeared.

Mingi’s voice drifted into his beginning-to-fog brain. “Hugging him like that in front of everyone?
She really has no-”

San didn’t have time to think before his feet were sending him forward toward the head of shaggy
hair.

“San no!”

Her voice barely registered as he reached out, grabbing the back of Yeosang’s neck and
aggressively pulling him back, throwing him to the ground. He turned on him, glaring down at the
shocked face, almost seeming to go blind as he raised his fist back. Before he could, a body
appeared in front of him, and he gnashed his teeth down at Jangmi’s face.

“What, you’re protecting him now?” He stepped forward, but she pushed against his chest, only his
ability to hold back making it do anything to him.

She got in his face, glaring up at him. “What the hell are you doing? You’re making a fool of
yourself!”

“If you were that worried about him, you should have broken up with me before you chased after
another dude!” San screamed it in her face, expecting her to recoil in fear, but she held firm, eyes
steady. Behind her, a boy was helping Yeosang up, checking him to make sure he was okay.

Jangmi smacked him, and the hallway gasped into shocked silence, and even San lost some of his
anger, as his eyes widened. She pushed him again. “Go.” He didn’t move, looking down at her,
mind unable to comprehend being hit by the girl that had always seemed so sweet. “MOVE!” Her
voice stabbed through the fog, and the next time she pushed him, he let it move him away from the
crowd that had gathered to watch.

When the crowd split and let them through, she grabbed his arm like a mother about to scold her
child and led him away. Neither one spoke as she dragged him along, out of the building. As they
moved, his anger and frustration cleared a bit, but that dull ache of betrayal still lingered like a
heavy vice around his throat.
Eventually, they were outside, well away from prying ears, and she turned to shove him one last
time before settling her glare on him. “Are you fucking insane!?”

He hadn’t heard her curse before, and it made his hackles rise in defensiveness. “You're the one
hugging the boy that you told me was nothing more than a tutor, after telling me you needed time
to think.”

Jangmi’s lips thinned, after a moment of intense staring, she nodded slowly. “You’re right.”
Sighing, she crossed her arms over her chest. “We’re both right. Which means we’re done. We’re
breaking up.”

Not having expected it to end that suddenly, his chest tightened. His eyes narrowed in anger, that
felt suspiciously like fear. “Right. Break up so you can go be with that fucking tutor.”

He expected her to get angry, to argue back, instead she gave him a pitying look, like she felt sorry
for him. “I’m not interested in him, but he’s a better person than you are. He cares about his life,
his grades, he’s nice, he listens, he doesn’t fucking make people feel uncomfortable or like they
don’t matter.” Her voice became more clear the more she talked. “He’s a better person than you’ll
ever be if you don’t get your head out of your ass and stop being SO FUCKING AFRAID TO
LIVE!” Her voice rose at the end, but once it came out, all the wind left her sails when she looked
at him.

Those last words sunk into his heart. It was a strange feeling, having some simple words cut so
deep, even though he didn’t fully understand why. He took a step back as if physically struck, and a
strange choking thickness settled in his throat, making it difficult to speak. It was like foreign
words had unlocked some meaning in his heart that his mind couldn’t fully comprehend, and they
were breaking apart a wall he hadn’t known had been built. He looked at her like she had stabbed
him.

“I’m sorry.” Jangmi’s voice was small, looking guilty as she witnessed the way her words affected
him. She took a step forward. “You just… I can’t…” Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly,
centering herself. “You walk through life like it’s a curse that’s happening to you. I’ve never seen
you genuinely happy. You actively change the conversation when people talk about plans for the
future.” She paused, then pushed forward. “I don’t think you ever really liked me. I think I was just
another expectation of how life happened that I filled in that moment. I was a mark off a checklist.”

San took another step away, pulling back his shoulders, feeling his face return to that familiar
impassiveness, hiding all his inner turmoil. “Are you done?” Her eyes widened, and her mouth
opened and closed, unable to find the words to make anything better.

When she didn’t respond he nodded, and left her standing there. ~~~

Wooyoung helped Yeosang up, watching the aggressive pair push their way through the crowd.
“Are you okay?”

He looked a little shell shocked, but he nodded, giving him a nervous look. “I didn’t even know she
had a boyfriend.”

As the tension and heightened emotions settled, Wooyoung couldn’t help but laugh at the craziness
of it all. The boy across from him laughed, face flushed, but beginning to return to his normal
color. “Well, let’s hope she can handle him enough where this doesn’t happen again. I’m a dancer,
not a fighter.”

Yeosang laughed again. “Are you saying you’re going to protect me?”
“As much as I’m capable of.” His smile was warm, and it wasn’t until Yunho cleared his throat
that he remembered they had an audience. Looking around, most people had moved on, but some
lingered and whispered around them. “Alright, let’s get out of here.”

They made their way out of the building, all three keeping an eye out for homicidal boyfriends. As
they made it off campus, nerves began to finally settle and Yeosang finally turned to them, giving
them a nervous look. Wooyoung could see his now clear mind taking in what had happened and
beginning to overthink.

“I’m kind of scared to come back to school tomorrow.” He laughed weakly, trying to make light of
it. “I just tutored her and now I’m being thrown around like a rag doll.”

Yunho shook his head, giving an unimpressed look. “I’m not going to blame him or her, whatever
is going on there is obviously unhealthy.”

“Ah, therapist Yunho has appeared.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes at Yeosang, who let the
playfulness ease his nerves.

Their friend rolled his eyes at the remark. “Tomorrow we should get there in time to go in, and
then leave as soon as it’s over. Hopefully by Monday they will have it all figured out and we can
stay far away from either of them.”

“I don’t think I have that easy of luck.” Yeosang nervously fiddled with his fingers, eyes darting.

Wooyoung watched the boy closely, not knowing what to do to help the situation. It had happened
so suddenly that it felt like they were all still reeling from the situation. “Do you want to meet at
our usual splitting place in the morning?”

He waved away the offer. “I’ll be fine. Once was a chance thing, twice is a pattern. If it happens
again, then maybe I’ll have to do something about it. Right now, I will happily blame those two
for their obviously bad communication.”

Inside his body, Wooyoung’s mind and heart were battling each other, but his mind won out. “I
still don’t trust it.”

Yeosang shrugged, turning as they reached their splitting point. “I’m not going to let that stop me
from living my life.” He waved at them, smiling. “See you guys tomorrow.”

Watching that smile, even after all that had happened that day, Wooyoung felt like his heart was
swelling so much it would explode. If that dude hurt him again, he was going to put himself in jail
to make him pay. The overflowing of emotions made it hard to breathe, and he watched the boy
leave his sight.

“Yunho.”

“Uh huh.”

He looked over, feeling his eyes begin to swim against his will. “I’m in love with him.”

His friend took a deep breath, before turning and giving him a pitying smile. “I know.” He held out
his arm, and Wooyoung hugged him, letting the fear and love mix as he cried into his shoulder,
neither caring who saw them. He felt helpless, wanting nothing more than to protect him, but
feeling lost on how to do that.

He had never felt such intense emotions before.

~~~

It wasn’t until he was out of sight of his two friends that Yeosang began to feel his adrenaline from
the situation drain, and his nerves skyrocket. He was so thrown off by the situation, that he had
forgotten things like that even happened in real life. Surprisingly, he couldn’t find himself mad at
either Jangmi, or that San guy, because hadn’t a similar situation happened with him and
Wooyoung?

Obviously it was different, because they were just friends, but misunderstandings could push
people into doing things they wouldn’t normally do. He hoped the two figured it out before another
situation like that could happen again. Maybe they would talk it out and, just like with him and
Wooyoung, they would realize it was all for no reason to let themselves get worked up so much.

When he walked into his apartment, he dropped his bag, took off his coat and lay down on the bed
for a long time, staring up at the ceiling. Wooyoung had been so worried for him, and he knew
even if he said he wasn’t a fighter, that he actually would try to protect him. That feeling of a now
familiar heat filled his chest, and he smiled to himself. He really hoped his friend wouldn’t find
any reason to go out of his way to get himself in trouble to ‘protect’ him.

Breathing out heavily, he finally got up to study, trying to let the events of the day filter out of his
mind as he lost himself in his science notes. After tomorrow the exams would be done, they would
have a three day weekend, and he could relax for a day before going back to work on Saturday.
Maybe he would go over to Wooyoung’s on Friday.

He smiled, knowing his friend would be ecstatic.

~~~

San had left Jangmi and walked back to his locker, not a soul bothering him as his glare split the
halls for him. When he arrived, he found Mingi and Hongjoong waiting. Mingi smiled at him, but
Hongjoong’s unwavering gaze seemed to look into him. There was a slight look of judgment.

“Man, that was intense. I didn’t know you had it in you. Should have hit him at least once.” Mingi
rambled on, smiling wide as he praised his friend.

The boy didn’t respond, ignoring both of them as he collected his things. He walked away, not
waiting for them to follow, knowing they would. They fell into step with him, also ignoring the
whispers and stares as they walked out of the doors and across campus. He’s sure the school would
be talking about it tomorrow when all the information had been disseminated.

After a few moments of silence from San, Mingi finally grew frustrated at the silence. “So what
happened when she pulled you away?”

“She broke up with me.”

Mingi had the gall to look shocked. “She broke up with you? After you proved that you cared?”

Even though he had no clue the things she had said, her words filtered in and he glared over at him.
“She didn’t see it that way.”

Snort. They both looked over, seeing Hongjoong roll his eyes. “She’s right. You didn’t care about
her, you cared about your pride.”

“Excuse me?” He narrowed his eyes on him.

He looked over, seeing his look, but gave him an unimpressed look in return. “You felt betrayed
maybe, but mostly you felt like she made a fool out of you. It’s so obvious that your relationship
was for nothing but show, which is why you were confused the whole time all of it was
happening.” Hongjoong gave him a long look, taking in his confusion. “Did you really like her
enough to do all that?”

San’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, before he gritted his teeth. “You had all these
thoughts about MY relationship and MY life, but you just kept it to yourself all this time?”

“It’s not my place to tell you how you feel or what to feel. Most humans know how to do that on
their own.” His eyes shifted away from him, tone steady as if speaking about the weather.

Reaching out, for the first time, he grabbed his friend by the collar and stopped them, pulling him
close, forcing them face to face. He hissed in his face. “Oh, you’ve got me all figured out, huh?”

Mingi’s playful smile faltered as this happened, watching his normally robot calm friends argue.
“Hey guys, let’s not-”

He was ignored, as Hongjoong didn’t fight back, but his face didn’t change one bit, continuing to
look unimpressed by the show of force. Unblinking, he calmly continued to speak. “I’m supposed
to be your best friend, right?” San blinked, having not expected that response. “Besides maybe
Mingi, who is a dumbass,” a noise of contention was heard, but ignored. “Aren’t I the one who
should know you best, besides yourself?”

Nodding slowly, he let go, roughly shoving him. “So say what you want to say.”

Hongjoong collected himself, fixing his uniform and jacket before righting his bag’s shoulder
strap. He faced San, giving him a look between pity and warmth. “I think you’ve made yourself so
numb because you can’t handle caring about something and then having it leave you.”

The unsaid ‘like your father’ was plain and clear in his eyes.

Teeth clenched, he nodded slowly. “If you think that’s true, then why did I get myself a
girlfriend?”

He shrugged. “Because underneath it all, you’re still human and you can’t stand to be alone. That’s
why you picked someone that was low maintenance, that you didn’t think would need a lot of
attention, that was there when you needed, but not enough for you to truly care about them.”

At this point, Mingi’s eyes were wide, having never seen Hongjoong speak to his own friends like
that. He had seen him do it to others, including his own parents, but having it turned on them was a
surreal experience. “Guys, I think we all need to calm down. We’ve had a lot going on with exams
an-”

“Mingi, shut up.” Hongjoong’s voice stopped him, and he coughed, looking around awkwardly as
the two stared at each other in the middle of the walkway.

San was having an internal battle. While the words caused his anger to spike, he hated that his
heart was feeling the truth of his words, understanding him in a way he couldn’t understand
Jangmi. “Are you done?”

His friend cocked his head to the side, thinking, before nodding. “Yeah.” He sighed. “I’m going
home. Call me if you need to talk some more.” He gave the still glaring boy an annoyingly kind
look. “You know I’m always here for you.” Nodding one last time, as if putting punctuation on his
sentence, he turned and stepped off the path, walking across the street and toward the car that
waited for him.

There were a few moments where the two left behind watched their friend leave, before he was
gone and Mingi turned to watch San’s tense back. “What are you going to do?”

San felt anger rising in his chest. It was strange, because it felt like it had nowhere to go. This fire
had begun to rage in his chest, but all it did was burn his soul, as if his anger was directed at
himself. Unfortunately, San still had a long way to go before he could master self reflection, and
this fire had to be directed somewhere else, because he was scared of being burned.

His mind brought up the pathetic image of Yeosang sprawled on the floor. Turning, he looked at
Mingi, who looked nervous at whatever emotion was on his face. “I don’t want to physically hurt
the kid.”

The gears started working almost before Mingi had realized what he was saying, and his evil grin
spread across his face. “A little birdy told me the only thing he really cares about is his grades.
Would be really unfortunate if he didn’t pass his final exam.”

San thought of the dirty hostel, nodding slowly. “Okay.” He gave his friend a long look, before
nodding. “Hongjoong’s wrong, you’re not dumb, it’s just that all your intelligence goes into being
a huge asshole.”

He frowned, mouth falling open as he watched his friend leave him on the sidewalk. “You just
asked me for help!” There was no response from the retreating back. “You can’t blame me for
what you do tomorrow!” Still no response. Huffing, he turned away and walked toward a vendor,
hunger pulling his focus.

The night was spent barely sleeping, stomach twisting, heart hurting, and mind overthinking over
all the things that had been said to him over the course of a week. If he was so numb, why was he
filled with so many stupid fucking emotions? Why had this all happened all at once. If he was
numb before, something had broken down whatever dam had been holding them back.

Morning came, the sun shining through the window of his bedroom, but he was already gone. San
had gotten up early and walked all the way to the poor side of town, about forty-five minutes from
the school, and up a few flights of stairs. He stared at the door for a long time before he began to
hear movement from the other side.

The terrifying fire began to burn hotter, causing him to clench his teeth and smile like a madman as
he grabbed the handle, braced his arm against the door frame, pulled, and waited. Yeosang was of
similar height to him, but San worked out often, and he knew he probably had him on strength.
Soon, the handle started to turn and he pulled tight.

He could hear the frustrated sounds from the otherside turn quickly into cries of fear. After a few
minutes, a couple people came out to check, but looking at the crazed man sent them scurrying
away. San was sure he didn’t have long before someone grew a pair or called the police.

“Hello? Who is that? Open the door! Please! Help!”

After a long twenty minutes, plenty long to make him late, he saw what looked like the owner
come around the corner, lifting his finger to point at him and start yelling. He let go of the door,
and it slung open, and Yeosang flew backward but quickly picked himself up, face covered in
tears, eyes wide. He stared at San in confusion for one second before sprinting down the hall.
Ignoring the owner who was yelling at them, he gave chase, feeling like a big cat hunting down
prey.
 He wanted to see it.

Chapter End Notes

My back hurts y'all, it's making it hard to think of new ideas and write.

But thank the lord I have this to post and give me some little joy in life lol.

San kinda sucks right now, but he gets better.

 Was It Worth It?
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Yeosang had faced San for one moment, seeing the evil look, and then had booked it.

At first, when his door first hadn’t opened, he had thought something had jammed the door. He
had tried his hardest to budge it, and when he had felt like it was going to give away, it was like it
would become stuck again. Then, after one hefty pull, he saw a figure through the crack of the
door for a split second, holding the door handle. That’s when the panic settled in.

The tug of war wasn’t just physical, as his chest became tighter the longer it went on. He couldn’t
miss this exam. He couldn’t not pass. Everything he had been working for, on his own, was about
to go all down the drain because of one stupid decision to tutor a girl. Yeosang wished he had
never met her. Wished that he had stayed that cold person and ignored her, uncaring how nice she
was, if she failed or not.

He wasn’t surprised at all when the door opened and San’s was the face confronting him on the
other side. They had shared a look that felt like a million words and many minutes were shared,
before he was rushing past him. At this point, he was running on pure willpower, hope a fading
dream as he heard the following, heavy footsteps behind him as he made it out into the open air.

~~~

Wooyoung walked into the school, a little later than he wanted, but still with enough time to see
Yeosang at his locker. After a night of sleep, his turmoil of worry and apprehension had settled a
bit, and at that point he just wanted to see his face. He leaned against his locker, scrolling through
his phone as he waited.

He looked at the time, frowning. Yeosang was usually there by that time. They still had a little bit
of time though, as long as he walked in that door in the next five minutes, they would be fine. A
text from Yunho asking where he was popped up on his phone. He mentioned the late arrival, and
his friend confirmed his understanding.

~~~

San was surprised by the shaggy haired boy’s speed. He was finding it difficult to keep up. It was
kind of impressive the way those old ratty shoes stayed together with how much force they were
striking the ground. He couldn’t see his face, but he had seen it when he had opened the door.

It hadn’t given him as much joy as he had expected.

~~~

Yeosang didn’t think, only ran. If he let himself think, he was afraid all his strength would give out
and he would stumble. He was pure focus as the streets passed by in a blur. His chest was
beginning to hurt and his knees burned as his unprepared body fought him back. The sense that he
was still being chased pushed him harder.

He wasn’t just running to something, he was running from something as well.

~~~
Wooyoung was worried, finally moved by Yunho’s warning texts to start heading for the class
with one last look at the doors. His stomach hurt, knowing there was no way Yeosang would be
late. Not on purpose. Something had to have happened for him to not be there.

He cursed Yeosang for not having a phone.

~~~

San could see the school in the distance, breathing becoming hard as he could barely see the figure
running far down the street. He wanted to check the time, but if he slowed down, he would fall
further behind. How the hell did this kid move so fast? Did he actually care that much about a
stupid test?

As the school drew closer, San felt a strange feeling rise in his throat, and it wasn’t the lack of air.

~~~

Yeosang could hear a bell in the distance, and even though his body begged him to stop, he didn’t
give up. He couldn’t. This physical body was driven by his heart and mind’s will alone, and they
demanded it to run, and run it did. Even though his mind was becoming foggy as he struggled to
breathe, he did not stop.

He would make it.

~~~

Wooyoung felt a cold pit settle in his stomach as the bell rang and the door was closed. He looked
over at Yunho, who gave him a similar worried look, but he shrugged, not having much answer for
the unspoken question. What could they do at this point? He didn’t even know where he lived and
he didn’t have a phone.

There was nothing they could do, as the teacher started the exam.

~~~

San was no longer feeling good. The pain his physical body was going through overlapped with
that strange feeling that was tightening in his chest. He kind of no longer wanted to see the end of
this prank. He no longer felt like what he was doing was worth it. Far too late, he was able to name
that feeling that threatened to choke him.

Guilt.

~~~

Yeosang, barely breathing, face and body covered in sweat, threw himself through the halls until he
reached his class. He saw it in the distance, the closed door. Even knowing the rules, he skidded
into the door, stopping his movement more than his feet did. He swung open the door, eyes wide as
he was now being gawked at by thirty plus students.

Wooyoung stood slightly at his desk, eyes meeting for a moment.

“I’m… here.. Sorry…” Yeosang had issues getting the words out as his breath caught up.

The teacher, finally getting over his shock, pointed at the rest of the class. “Sit down. Yeosang,
come outside with me.”
Eyes widening as he understood what was happening, he shook his head, trying to walk past the
teacher. “I’m only a couple minutes late.”

“Mr. Kang.” The teacher's stern voice wasn’t enough, he had to physically pull the struggling,
nearly crying boy out the door.

~~~

Wooyoung watched from his seat, unable to help his poor friend. He wanted to get up and say
something, but Yunho reached out a hand to stop him, shaking his head.

“There’s nothing you can do at this point. He’ll be even more upset if you don’t take the exam
because of him.”

His words didn’t settle the way his stomach twisted and his chest hurt at seeing his tears, but he sat
back down, knowing what he said was true. Wooyoung’s heart reached out to him with his eyes as
they locked together as he was herded out the door. Just before the door shut, he saw a figure
appear. A familiar face panting as if having ran there as well.

Wooyoung felt his teeth clench.

San.

~~~

San was a few yards away, leaning over and trying to catch his breath as Yeosang was being
pushed out of the room. The teacher closed the door behind him, ignoring the begging coming
from the almost crying boy. Remorse was beginning to mix with his painful wheezing as he
watched the situation unfold.

~~~

Yeosang grabbed the teacher’s hands, still trying to catch his breath as tears threatened to fall.
“Please, I was only a minute late. Let me take the exam.”

He gave him a firm look before pulling his hands away. “Yeosang. I’m not even supposed to leave
the room. I cannot let you in there. You should have been here on time, you know the rules.”

His stomach twisted and the tears fell. Yeosang let his hands drop to his side. “Is there a way to
take it at another time, or…”

“You know there’s not.” The teacher sighed, giving him a pitying look. “Go home, Yeosang. I’ll
see you on Monday.” He turned and walked back into the class, closing the door behind him.

Yeosang stared at the door for a long moment. His tears fell, but he barely noticed them as it felt
like everything he had worked for was crumbling beneath him. The logical side of his mind told
him that it would be the grades after his final exams that would be used to decide whether his
scholarship continued or not, but it was the fact that it would be on his school record. A zero was
the last thing he wanted, dirtying his perfect average.

“It’s just a test.” The voice was softer than the last time he had heard it.

He turned narrowing eyes on San, who was standing there, watching all of it happen. The cause of
smashing the road he was building for himself, by himself. “It might be just a test to you, but it’s
my fucking future you beast.”
San winced at the way he said it, having the nerve to look remorseful. He tried to play it off, tried
to look tough, but Yeosang could see through the fake. “There will be another test to pass. You’ll
live.”

Anger like he hadn’t felt since his mother had… He rushed forward, and San’s eyes went wide as
the fist swung and struck him in the chin. Yeosang watched him stumble back, and he pushed his
chest, screaming into his face. “Are you happy? Did this bring you joy? Is this going to make
someone like you? Is this bringing meaning to your life?”

With each sentence, he shoved his chest, making him stumble back a step at a time. Yeosang was
waiting for him to fight back, he wanted it. He wanted a reason to completely lose himself in a
fight, to hit him and be hit. The anger was surging, almost blinding him. Or was that the tears that
were still streaming down his face?

His arms became weak, and soon he had San pushed against the wall, eyes wide and looking at
him. Yeosang’s face was so close to his, they could feel each other’s breath. The fight finally left
him, leaving him exhausted, and he stared back into seemingly conflicted eyes. His lips began to
tremble as his emotions caught up with the rest of his body.

Voice thick, he swallowed before speaking. “Was it worth it?”

~~~

San swallowed dryly, feeling a mess of emotions rising and falling as he stood face to face with the
person he had just hurt. He had never punched someone hard enough to make them cry like this.
The only pain similar to this that he understood, was when his mother cried in anger over his
father. It was like being haunted by a ghost in the daylight, and it struck a nerve in his soul.

Yeosang weakly struck his chest one more time, even angrier at his silence. “Fucking tell me! Was
it fucking worth it?”

He let himself be hit, it was weak anyway, besides that first punch that he could already feel
bruising on his chin. San opened his mouth, but then closed it. Looking away, not able to look him
in the eyes.

A choked laugh forced breath across his face, making him blink and look back. The incredulous
look kept him silent. Yeosang shook his head, looking disgusted, mocking him. “It’s just a test.”
He stepped back and spit at his feet, turning the look back up to him. “Fuck you.”

Words were an unknown language as he watched the boy stumble back and turn, walking away.
The words he used to know stuck in his throat that wished to throw them at the figure that left him
there, strangely broken at the display. Those words mixed with his saliva and dissolved as his
mouth opened, apology falling silently out of his mouth and onto the ground to mix with the spit
that had come from him.

Every emotion that he had felt over the last few days had disappeared. Anger, betrayal, confusion,
hurt, and many more he couldn't name were replaced with one heavy pit of guilt. It’s the only thing
he felt as he finally got his feet to work, slowly dragging him along to take him out of the building.
All his reasoning behind this one act now seemed so childish, an act of revenge for something he
himself had caused.

Yeosang was an innocent bystander to his pain.

In this solitude of guilt, as he started walking through the empty campus, he was forced to look
inward and see himself.

Hongjoong was right. Jangmi was right. Everyone was fucking right. He was hollow. There was an
empty cavern in his chest where his heart was supposed to be. The only emotions that seemed to
swim in that expanse of dark water were negative. Hate, distrust, fear, pain, loneliness, deflection,
defensiveness, and the numbness at the center, hiding away all the good things that most people
had in their lives.

He didn’t even know what he was missing.

San looked ahead of him as he walked out the front doors, seeing the distant figure of Yeosang. His
brows furrowed, hating that remorse and guilt was overshadowing everything else inside him. He
stopped, looking at the figure, feeling something different, and he turned around and rushed back
inside.

He ran, even though his legs hurt so bad, until he was pushing into the office. The lady there gave
him an annoyed look at the intrusion. “Can I help you?”

“If I made someone late on purpose for the exam, would they be able to take it since it wasn’t their
fault?”

Eyes rolling, she sat back in her chair, seeming not to have understood him at first. “One more
time.”

Sighing, he fought back not to let his tone become angry. “I did a prank on someone, and made
them late to the exam.” She pursed her lips, nodding to show she understood. “Now I regret it. If I
get in trouble for it, can they take the exam?”

She nodded slowly. “Did it happen off campus?”

His eyes narrowed. “No.”

Taking a deep breath, she let it out and shook her head, lips still pursed. “No, there is nothing that
can be done.” His body deflated. She shook her head, giving him a judgmental look. “Your
punishment is also missing the exam. Congratulations, everyone gets pranked. Now get out of my
office.”

San frowned, but did as he was told. As he left, he had a strange sense of purpose fill him. He
couldn’t get him to be able to take the exam, but he felt like he needed to do something to
apologize. While he was confused where this sudden surge of purpose came from, it felt better than
all the other things he had felt lately.

Swallowing nervously at the thought of facing Yeosang, he left campus, trying to think of a way to
make it up to him.

~~~

Yeosang was like a zombie as he walked back home. He was glad that his feet knew the path better
than his eyes, because he was barely paying attention to where he was going. A car could have hit
him and he would never know because of his lack of focus. Unfortunately, he didn’t care at the
moment.

As he walked, his brain started working again, giving in to thinking over how it would realistically
affect him. If he aced all his exams, it might bring him down to a seventy-five percent overall. He
knew that he had basically perfect grades in all his classes, so one zero wouldn’t ruin him, but his
perfect one hundred, or more, was out the window for the semester.

His mouth twisted in anger as his mind fished out an image of a remorseful San. How dare he look
like that after doing something like this. It was so obvious that he only cared about himself. The
smile on his face when he had come out of the apartment was like a devil cheating him into
servitude. Those two different faces swapped back and forth in his mind. It made him so mad.

At least stick to a fucking emotion if you’re going to be a fucking asshole.

He thought about Wooyoung, watching him look crazy, and that’s when embarrassment joined the
fray of emotions. Groaning, he rubbed his face, imagining the way he must be freaking out.
Yeosang thought about heading back to wait for him, but then the thought of running into San or
other people who saw the whole thing stopped him.

His heart hurt, but Wooyoung would just have to wait.

Well, he knew where he lived. He supposed he could just head to his house tomorrow. It was a
little uncomfortable, thinking about showing up to his house unannounced, but he knew his friend
wouldn’t mind. Yeosang was honestly more worried about disrespecting or upsetting his parents.
He laughed, knowing Wooyoung wouldn’t care about that either.

Taking a deep breath, by the time he finally made it back into his apartment, his mind and heart
had settled. There was still anger and frustration, but they had become soft and annoying, versus
raging. So, he lay down in bed, looking at the clock to see that only a couple hours had passed
since he had woken up.

Sighing, he rolled over, pulling the blankets over himself and closed his eyes, fully clothed.

Suddenly he was waking up. His eyes blinked as he looked around, seeing that it was still light
outside. Checking the clock, it was just past three pm. Sitting up, he looked around, taking stock of
his discarded bookbag. The urge to study had turned sour, but the urge to eat was causing his
stomach to rumble.

Getting up from his bed, he opened his mini fridge and saw leftover noodles, juice, and water. He
had been eating with Yunho and Wooyoung for the week, so he hadn’t gone to get groceries. At
the thought of him, he closed the fridge, chewing his cheek as he thought. It was still early, and he
knew his parents didn’t come home till late.

Making a decision, he grabbed his wallet and keys, walking out the door.

~~~

Wooyoung had trouble focusing on his exam, but he did his best with what he had. Eventually,
after what felt like years, his booklet was closed and the bell was ringing. He hopped up and
rushed out of the door, not surprised to find that Yeosang wasn’t there, but still having had hope.
He cursed, and turned, waiting for Yunho to leave the classroom.

His friend gave him a knowing look and motioned toward their lockers. “He would have gone
home. Come on.”

Letting out a deep, pained, sigh, he followed his friend. “I saw San outside before the door shut. I
think he did something.”

Yunho made a tired face. “Yeah, I saw him too. You’re probably right.”
“I’m gonna kill him.” His tone was heavy, eyes narrowing, searching for his stupid face.

Though he understood the intensity of the situation for his two friends, he couldn’t help but laugh
at his short friend. “How about you save your ferocity for taking care of Yeosang.” The look he got
was unconvinced. “Wooyo, you need to let him decide what happens. I know you’re being
protective, but right now, it’s not your place.”

He frowned at his friend. “Yeosang is the type to let it slide just to not have to deal with it.”

“Yeah, and that might mean peace for him.” Yunho gave him a disappointed look. “Don’t go and
make more problems for him because you decide something needs to be done in retaliation.”

Wooyoung huffed. “What if he does want to kick his ass?”

“Then you will wait until he initiates it, and then you help him out and kick his ass.” Yunho
smiled, watching Wooyoung finally smile against his will.

His friend groaned as they got to their lockers, packing their things to head home for the weekend.
“I can’t text him. I can’t go see him. I can’t do anything.”

“You can give him space.”

Wooyoung gave him a serious look. “I don’t want to give him space. I want to give him love.”

His friend gave him a proud smile. “You disgust me.” They left the building, walking for a bit just
before Yunho went off to climb into a car. “He knows where you live.”

Shaking his head, he doesn’t even give the thought a chance. “He wouldn’t. He’d find it too
awkward.”

Yunho sighed, annoyed with all the negativity. “Whatever, I’m going home. Call me if you need
anything. So please don’t need anything.”

Wooyoung pursed his lips as his friend walked away. “You’re such a great friend.”

He raised a finger heart over his head, not looking back at him.

The walk home was a lonely one, so used to having Yeosang with him for half the way. He kind of
wished he was the type of person to stalk him home just for situations like this. The thought of him
home alone, dealing with all of that made his heart hurt. His frustration at feeling useless felt gross.

When he got home, the house was empty. Climbing the stairs to his room, he dropped all his things
and turned on his computer, deciding that he needed to kill things in video games if he could hunt
San down himself. It was hollow fulfillment, but it kept him busy for a while until a knock rang
out.

His heart skipped as he almost fell over himself rushing down the stairs.

~~~

Yeosang had stood outside the door for nearly five minutes before finally getting up the urge to
knock. It wasn’t long until he took a step back, eyes widening as he heard something crash from
the inside. Then the door was opening, and a winded Wooyoung was opening the door, looking at
him like a god was visiting him.

“Yeosang.”
He smiled awkwardly. “Sorry for just showing up. I didn’t want to stay home alone.”

Wooyoung shook his head, moving to the side to let him in. “I was honestly hoping you would
show up.” He closed the door after he stepped inside, giving him a scolding look. “You need to get
a phone. I couldn’t even text you to see if you were okay.”

Heart warming, he smiled. “No. I don’t want a phone. I appreciate that you care, though.”

The boy didn’t look like he wanted to give up, but he didn’t say anything about it again. “So are
you okay?”

“I’m hungry.” Yeosang said honestly, blushing with embarrassment.

Wooyoung gave him an incredulous look. “I thought you were coming here because you were
upset, but you only came so I could feed you?”

He pouted. “Can’t it be both? You’re the one who's always forcing food on me.”

Something crossed his eyes, and he watched as Wooyoung melted, shaking his head. “What am I
going to do with you?”

“Hopefully feed me. I haven’t eaten all day, and I ran the whole way to school this morning.” A
pitiful tone joined his pout.

Wooyoung took a deep breath, and Yeosang watched as it looked like he was struggling with
something. After an awkward moment of silence, he cleared his throat, motioning toward the
kitchen. “Well, come on then.” He turned to lead the way, allowing Yeosang to hide his pleased
grin.

You’re so easy.

He directed Yeosang to sit, and he began pulling things out of the fridge and cabinets, beginning to
make him a meal. “Can we talk about what happened today? I was freaking out when you didn’t
show up, and then I saw San with you.” His eyes shifted up from the pan he was filling with
ingredients.

Taking a deep sigh, having enough time to come to terms with the questions he would have to deal
with by coming here, he nodded slowly. “I don’t know how, but he knew where I lived.”
Wooyoung’s hands froze for a second, anger filling his eyes, but Yeosang continued, cutting him
off and forcing him to stay silent, returning to the food.

“When I woke up this morning, I was already a little later than normal, but only by a few minutes.
Then when I tried to leave, I couldn’t open the door and I thought it was jammed. After a few
minutes of struggling, it opened a bit and I saw him holding the door.” Wooyoung’s eyes were
alight with a hotter fire than the stove he was currently cooking on. “We struggled for a bit, then he
let me out and I ran. I was late. You saw that part.”

He looked up, seeing his friends angry, but silent nod. Another deep sigh before he continued.
“Then we argued, and I hit him.” Wooyoung’s eyebrows show up, lips curling with barely hidden
pride. Yeosang couldn’t help but laugh at it, but it was weak. “It was strange, he didn’t fight back
at all. When I left my apartment, he looked almost evil, but then outside the class, it was like I was
looking at a totally different person. He looked like he felt bad.” He frowned. “It made me so
mad.”

There was a pause of silence, and Wooyoung finally had his chance to speak. “Showing remorse
right after the crime? Sounds like he was trying to get away with it.”

Yeosang shook his head, not feeling like that was it. “I don’t know. It was just weird.”

“Okay.” Wooyoung stirred the food in the pan, seeming to be done adding things. “So, what do
you want to do?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

Looking up, he saw his face and sighed. “Do you not want to get him back?”

Yeosang thought for a moment, remembering his strange remorse that had pissed him off. It was
stuck in his mind. Not the evil look, or the thing he did, but that final look on his face as he spit at
his shoes. They had both been totally different people in that situation. Almost like they had
switched roles from how the day had originally started. In his memories, he almost didn’t even
recognize himself.

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

Wooyoung paused his stirring, giving him a disappointed look. “I know you’re passive almost to a
fault, but don’t you think he deserves it?”

Frowning, he realized he didn’t like this conversation anymore. “Wooyoung, that’s not who I am. I
really appreciate that you are willing to fight for me, but I don’t want to stump to his level. Nor do I
want to see you do that.” He smiled weakly, dipping his face in earnest honesty. “You take care of
people, not fight them. Don’t let him change that.”

A range of emotions he couldn’t read morphed his face as he moved the pan off the fire, and
leaned against the table, eyes never leaving him. “Yeosang. Sometimes you have to fight to take
care of people.”

Yeosang could see it, that intensity in his eyes, looking straight into his soul. He found his words a
little choked by it, coming out soft and begging. “Not this time, Wooyo. Please.”

They continued to stare at each other for a moment before Wooyoung looked away. Yeosang
watched as he made him a bowl of the food he had made, face showing the obvious internal
struggle his friend was having. Eventually he pushed over the bowl and held out a pair of wooden
chopsticks.

He gave a nod. “Okay. I’ll do whatever you want. Even if that means doing nothing.”

There was a strange relief that soothed his heart that he hadn’t realized had grown tight in his
chest. He smiled, grabbing the chopsticks and taking a bite of the food. It was delicious and he
looked up, giving him a happy grin as he ate. Wooyoung’s return smile helped settle his nerves
about the whole situation, and he continued to eat as the boy watched.

~~~

Wooyoung watched the boy leave from the porch. He hadn’t stayed long, only a few hours to make
it home before it got dark. His heart and soul was a mess in his chest. Yeosang didn’t want
revenge, didn’t want to get back at him, hell, he seemed to have issues just talking bad about San.

It had confused him so much and yet made so much sense. He knew that his need for returned
aggression was his own anger and feeling of worthlessness about not being able to protect Yeosang
from what had happened. While it frustrated him, he was not surprised by his passive response to
 the whole thing. Though, it did make him happy to hear that he had punched the asshole.

As he went to bed that night, he thought long and hard about how he would act when he ran into
San next. The internal struggle of his own need to get revenge, and his need to make Yeosang
happy was driving him up the wall. He knew Yeosang’s wishes would win out, but he almost felt
irritated toward him.

How was he supposed to take care of the person he loved, if he wouldn’t let him?

Chapter End Notes

For anyone who might feel like the late scene feels familiar, it is because I stole it
from History 3: Make Our Days Count. When I was trying to think of something for
San to "bully" Yeosang with, it just played over and over in my head, so I just fucking
did it lol. San is totally Hao Ting, and I love them both.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this update. The next chapter is where the real juicy
parts start. I feel like I've just been saying that each chapter though. Well, at least one
thing you can always expect from me is escalation lol.

Also, for anyone interested, History 3: Make Our Days Count is a Taiwanese boys
love show, it is one of my favorite, but if you go to search it out, let me warn you not
to watch episode 19 and 20, or for the places that have them condensed into 10
episodes, don't watch episode ten. It's called make our days count for a reason, it is
very sad ending, but still phenomenal up until that last episode or two, if you want the
sad ending, by all means do you

This fic is not sad ending, I only stole the late scene lol
 Something To Care About
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

After leaving campus, San walked for a long time.

All of the things people had said to him were filtering through his mind, and the more he thought
over their words, the more he hated himself for what he did. It was a strange feeling, like the whole
thing had stripped away his detachment and he was forced to feel. He hadn’t realized he had been
so uncaring and numb.

It made him feel embarrassed, and kind of stupid. He was confused and his mind struggled to
know what to do next. The first thing that came to his mind was to pull out his phone and text
someone, asking if they could meet up and talk. When he got the reply, he headed for the coffee
place they would sometimes meet at.

He was the first to arrive, and he was sitting there for a while when Jangmi finally walked in,
giving him a cold look. She walked over, sitting across from him, watching him as if he were a
ticking bomb. It made him feel gross, but it couldn’t be helped.

“I heard what you did to Yeosang.” San’s lips thinned, eyes moving away from her face. “Do you
feel better? Do you feel like a big strong man?”

The words stung, but he took it in stride, finally turning to shake his head. “No, I feel like shit.”

Jangmi watched him for a moment, before nodding slowly. “Good. You should. He didn’t deserve
that just because you were mad at me.”

“You’re right, and I regretted it as soon as I did it.” He looked down at his drink, fiddling with the
straw. San hadn’t felt like he could eat something, so he only got a drink to get some kind of
energy.

She watched him, dipping her head. “You already seem different.”

He frowned up at her. “What do you mean?”

Shrugging, she furrowed her brows, thinking. “I’ve never seen you look guilty. You’ve always just
done what you wanted.” She sighed, waving the comment away. “Not that you ever really cared
enough to want anything.”

San took a deep breath in, made uncomfortable by her words this time around, instead of angry.
“I’m sorry for how I treated you this whole time, especially over the last week.”

That made her sit back and truly look at him. “Do you recognize what you’re apologizing for?” He
frowned at her, and she sighed and spoke slowly, not in a way that sounded demeaning, but
wanting to be understood. “Are you emotionally aware of the things you did to isolate yourself and
how that hurts those around you.”

“Why is everyone suddenly a therapist?” San grumbled, thinking about Hongjoong. She didn’t say
anything, eyebrow raising as she waited for her answer. Swallowing, he shrugged. “I… no… not
really. I’m starting to recognize that I haven’t… cared. About anything.” He gave her a guilty look.
“Including you.” She nodded. “In my head I did all the right things, and I still don’t really
understand what I’m supposed to do from here.”

Jangmi leaned forward, steepling her fingers and resting her chin on her thumbs. “You probably
need to start by caring about yourself.” He started to argue, but she waved a hand, silencing him.
“San, what do you want?”

“What?” He was confused by the question.

She rolled her eyes, starting to become frustrated. “What do you want for yourself? College.
Career. Wife. Kids. Love. Joy. Hobbies. Where do you see yourself in the future?” Once again, he
was unable to force his mind to make the answer appear. He had just been alive these last few
years, not really living. She nodded. “That’s your focus, San. Figure out who you are when you
care.”

Barking out a humorless laugh, he gave her a surprised look. “That’s the advice? I just need to
care?”

Jangmi shrugged. “Start with one thing. Find a hobby. A subject in school. Hell, beginning to care
about your grades is a great start.” She gave him a pointed look. “Tell me one thing you care
about.” Another blank stare as his mind scrambled for an answer. “Oh, San.” Her tone was pitying,
and he hated it.

“My mom.” He said it softly, as soon as it finally came to mind.

Her eyes softened and she nodded softly. “That is definitely something worth caring about.”
Jangmi gave him a guarded look. “But San, please take this the right way, but please don’t put all
your focus into your mother.” His eyes narrowed, feeling his heart clench at her words. She took a
deep breath as if to steady herself to continue. “There is so much in the world to find joy in, and I
don’t think you’re going to find it in your parents.”

San’s eyes harden, even though the truth of her words shot right through him. “Thanks for coming
today. I’m glad we talked.”

Sighing, looking dejected, she nodded. “It’s not our job to fix our parents.”

“See you at school, Jangmi.” His tone was more firm, and he stood quickly, dipping his head and
leaving her sitting there, looking as if she expected that response.

Afterward, he walked for a bit longer. His legs were sore from his long day of movement, but he
kept walking, thinking over her words. Though the last part of the conversation was some of the
most uncomfortable things he’s ever had to hear, he knew she was right. He had spent months
trying to get his mother to stop drinking and find her will to live, but he had given up a while ago.

He let his mind shift to the other things she had said. One thing to care about? The only thing he’s
cared about, for the most part, is being left alone. Even Hongjoong, his best friend, is a calm and
collected loner if it weren’t for him and Mingi. Mingi was more like a dog you fed once and then
couldn’t get rid of.

School. Should he care about school? The thought of going from barely paying attention, to
actually doing his work made him want to be sick. So maybe not school. At this point, he’d
probably already lost all ability to even go to university. He supposed he could do enough to
graduate.

Then his mind showed him a memory of a pouting pretty boy, looking down at his wet shoes. He
had felt annoyed, watching the boy internally struggle over some wet shoes. So he had grabbed his
own extra pair of socks, that he had brought purposefully that day, and dropped them in his hands.
San was left to wear wet socks all day. It sucked.

Why was he more guilty about what he had done to Yeosang, than everything else he had done.
Jangmi had been his girlfriend, and he had treated her like some kind of participation award. San
felt like even their friendship, if they had that all, was not going to be recovered. Maybe he really
didn’t ever care about her.

He had begun to go around in circles, figuratively and literally. San had probably walked down this
street four times already. Finally starting to take into account his exhaustion, he headed home, the
sun beginning to set. The boy had walked from sun up to sun down.

When he stumbled through the doors, he saw that his mom was already passed out on the couch.

It’s not our job to fix our parents.

Moving forward, he found a blanket and covered his mom with it, turning off the tv. He watched
her for a long time, no real thoughts in his mind, only sadness. Eventually he headed toward his
own room, stripping down and crawling into the bed. He felt like he could sleep for days, and as
his head hit the pillow, he wondered about Yeosang.

Maybe he could go see him tomorrow and apologize.

~~~

Yeosang woke up pretty late. Well, late for him. It was about ten in the morning, and the sun was
shining in through his windows, assaulting his eyes. He blew out air aggressively, wondering what
he was going to do with this free day. This is why he kept himself busy, because boredom was
almost worse than being exhausted.

Rising from his bed, he stretched and did his little morning workout. Then he gathered his things
and went to take a shower. Since he wasn’t in a rush, and it was an odd time where there was hot
water, he took his time, enjoying the feeling of warm water. Drying himself off afterward, he
realized he should do some laundry.

Collecting all his clothes, he shoved them into the washer, starting it and standing back. Looking
around, he chewed his cheek as he tried to think of something else to do. It was moments like this
that he was kind of jealous of the kids who had computers or phones, because at least that gave
them something to do. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to stay so focused on school if he had
either, though. If he could ever afford them.

Eventually, he picked up a book, one that he’d already read many times before, and began reading
it all over again. He relaxed in bed for a while, until the washer went off. Standing, he collected his
clothes and stepped out onto the balcony to hang them. It was still a bit crisp, but it wasn’t too bad
outside.

He was beginning to hang up his clothes, when his eyes landed on a figure standing at the edge of
his building. It looked familiar, and he finished putting up the shirt he was holding before moving
closer to the rail, looking out. His heart froze for a moment, before annoyance filled him as he
recognized who it was.

“Why are you here!” He called out, glaring down at him in frustration.

San looked up, seeming surprised, before giving him an embarrassed smile. “I wanted to
apologize.” The boy moved down the side of the building, standing underneath the balcony and
looking up at him, shielding his eyes from the sun.

Rolling his eyes, Yeosang felt like he should be nervous that this deranged boy knew where he
lived, but he only felt annoyed. “Why?”

He looked confused. “Because I feel bad?”

Yeosang barked out a laugh. “Congrats, you have a conscience. Who would have thought?”
Months ago he would have ran inside and ignored such a disturbance, but it seemed Wooyoung had
truly rubbed off on him, giving him a strange confidence, bringing out his inner brat.

Actually seming to smile, San laughed. “Can I come up?”

He frowned. “No.” He laughed, incredulous. “What? No! Go home!”

“I don’t like being home.” San offered, giving him a long look. “Don’t make me go home.” Pause.
“Please.”

Yeosang felt like cursing. He finally noticed that he was carrying a medium sized box. Frowning,
he dipped his head toward it. “What is that?”

He looked down, as if also just realizing he was carrying it. San smiled up at him, looking proud.
“It’s an apology gift.”

Shaking his head, he motioned toward the end of the building. “I don’t want it. Just leave.”

Not seeming to have heard, or willfully ignoring him, he started walking toward the front of the
building, calling back. “I’m gonna come up.”

Yeosang stood straight, yelling at him. “I said you can’t.”

“I’ll be right there.” He walked around the corner, disappearing.

Eyes widening, he ran to his front door and locked it. He stood back, feeling like he was living in a
horror movie as he waited for noise from the other side. The tension caused his heart to race and
when the knock finally came, he jumped, closing his eyes and clenching his teeth.

“Go away.”

“I can’t.”

He glared at the door. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I have to apologize to you.”

Yeosang smacked the door. “You already did. Do you need to hear me accept it? Fine, I accept
your apology. I’m not mad. Now go home!”

There’s a moment of silence. It lasts too long, and Yeosang steps forward to press his ear against
the door. He doesn’t hear anything. Narrowing his eyes, he drops to the floor, trying to look under
the crack, but he doesn’t see anything. Rising again, he felt like he was going to regret his actions,
but he opened the door.

Looking through the crack, he still saw nothing. Then he swung the door open more, peeking his
head out and looking up and down the empty hall. Frowning, he let the door swing fully open and
stepped into the door frame. Huh. He was about to turn and walk back into his apartment, when he
realized that not only San was missing.

Where did his shoes go?

Yeosang, like other people in the apartments, usually left their shoes outside their doors, and
thieving was never a problem. Except this wasn’t a tenant, this was a deranged teenage boy who
couldn’t leave him alone apparently. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm the rage that was
building, he turned toward the stairs at the end.

“San!”

There was no response. Seething, he closed the door and rushed out to the balcony. To his horror,
San was down at the end, his shoes in hand, tying the strings together.

“San!”

The boy looked up, and smiled. “Hi!” He seemed ecstatic.

Yeosang’s insides burned. “What the hell are you doing? Bring me back my shoes. What happened
to apologizing?”

“I have to get rid of them first.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing.

Mouth falling open, he barely had time to react as he tossed the shoes high in the air. His life was
truly a horror story, as the tied strings almost perfectly hit the powerline and with the force of his
swing, wrapped around the line. Yeosang watched as his only pair of shoes dangled in the air.

His eyes dropped to where San was looking proud. “Okay, I’m coming back up.”

The boy was frozen, unable to respond as he watched them swing in the wind. Now, Yeosang was
normally calm, and collected, Wooyoung would even say passive, but right then, he seemed to
borrow some of San’s crazy. Turning, he walked inside, face impassive, and grabbed the pair of
scissors, which was the closest thing he had to a weapon.

He waited, weapon in hand, until the knock came again. Calmly walking forward, he swung open
the door and brandished them at him. San’s eyes went wide as he saw the shiny scissors pointing at
his face. “Get my shoes. Now.”

San swallowed, taking a step back. “I can’t. They’re already out of reach.”

Clenched teeth threatening to break apart in his mouth, feeling so many emotions, he slammed the
scissors down on the ground and turned away, walking back into the apartment and covering his
face. He wanted to scream, he wanted to break things, he wanted to hurt him. Yeosang felt like he
was going to break down.

When he finally turned, he glared at the closed door and San leaning against it, that stupid look of
guilt on his face. “Why the hell did you do that?” His voice was steady, but he knew his face was a
swirl of anger and pain.

He lifted the box that he could now see was a shoe box. “Because you wouldn’t have accepted
these if I didn’t.”

Mouth falling open, he looked at him, incredulous at such idiotic innocence that was on his face.
“You can’t just buy forgiveness! I don’t want those fucking shoes, I want my shoes.”
San’s eyes darted around, embarrassment shading his face red. “They were falling apart.”

“That’s my problem, San, not yours.” He was breathing hard, struggling to even look at him while
he held that offensive box.

His eyes hardened a bit, seeming to find some confidence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think this through, I
just acted. You can just wear them until you can buy a new pair.”

Yeosang shook his head, feeling a deep melancholy begin to fill his chest and eyes. “I didn’t want
new shoes, San. I wanted those shoes. Those were my shoes.”

San seemed to grow irritated as well, not seeming to understand his vehement need for his shoes.
“They’re just shoes. You can get more.”

It was like a flashback to yesterday, to him not understanding that things were ‘just tests’ or ‘just
shoes’. Yeosang was dealing with a person who obviously had no understanding of things being
important to other people, even if they didn’t seem important to him. Struggling with his anger and
tears, he moved forward and knocked the box out of his hands.

“They’re not just shoes!” He yelled, shoving his chest, feeling himself begin to become
overwhelmed. “They’re my shoes!” The tears began to fall, and he weakly beat against his chest.
“My mom bought me those!”

San was in shock, in this position again, so soon. “She can buy you another pair.”

He sobbed, hitting his chest. “No, she can’t. That was it.” Yeosang ignored the arms that came up
around him, struggling to hurt the boy in front of him. “That was the last thing she bought, you
fucking asshole. She’s gone, and now my shoes, and you… you… fuck…”

Yeosang couldn’t hold it in anymore, letting out all his pent up pain and anger at being alone. He
struggled to escape the arms that hugged him. How did this man, who had done so much to hurt
him in the last two days, get the nerve to try to hold him. These tears were all his fault.

Too weak to fight anymore, he fell against the chest he had been beating a moment ago. He
clutched at the sweater, fisting the material into his hands as he buried his face into the offending
shoulder. For the first time in months, someone held him. For the first time in months, since his
mother, someone hugged him close while he cried.

Why did it have to be him?

~~~

San realized he might actually be the villain in Yeosang’s story.

When he had woken up that morning, he had thought about his tattered shoes and thought it would
be a start to make things up to him. It’s not that he thought a gift would make things alright, but he
was unused to having to apologize. Not that he often did bad things and didn’t feel bad, it was just
that he never cared enough about people to get close to even hurt feelings.

Until recently.

Now here he was, having caused this boy to cry for a second time, except this was far different.
The tears before had been out of frustration, these were tears of pain. He had done a horrendous
thing, all the while wearing a smile, not realizing the gravity of what he was doing. Once again, he
proved how ignorant he was.
San’s heart was hurting. Which was strange, it didn’t do that very often. Every sob felt like a stab
in his chest. Every time Yeosang had said ‘mom’ the look in his eyes could crush his soul. He
knew the pain of someone leaving, and he had brought up the trauma all over again for Yeosang.
Did he even deserve to feel guilty anymore?

Maybe he was better off being an emotionless robot.

He slowly stroked the shaggy hair as he cried into his shoulder. The only person he had done
something like this for was his own mother. It felt all too similar, and it made him uncomfortable.
Someone who really cared about Yeosang should be holding him right now, not him. What had he
done? It’s not like he knew anything about any of this, but that was kind of the point. San had done
all these things without realizing that he didn’t know enough about yeosang to know if what he
was doing was going to be positive or negative.

So far, all things have ended up negative.

Eventually, the sobbing began to slow, and Yeosang pulled back and looked up at him. They
looked at each other, both having similar uncomfortable feelings swimming on their faces.
Clearing his throat, San let his arms drop. Yeosang pulled away, eyes darting anywhere except for
his face. He wiped his face, and straightened out his clothes.

They both looked embarrassed in the aftermath of something that for a moment, had felt far too
intimate for two strangers. The silence that filled the room was stifling. Eventually, Yeosang let out
a deep breath and collected the shoes that he had tossed to the ground. He rose up and held them
out to San, eyes still red and swollen.

“You should take these and go.”

San wasn’t smart, but he knew he should listen to him. Unfortunately, instead of sending him away
in embarrassment, San only felt more drawn to Yeosang after his confession. “You still need shoes
until you get another pair.”

The boy’s eyes narrowed for a moment, before all the fight he had left drained from them. Turning,
he tossed the box on his bed, and went to sit down on it, dropping his head in his hands. San
watched him for a moment, before moving over to sit next to him. A small incredulous laugh
erupted from the boy beside him, but he didn’t say anything to him as they sat in silence.

In the silence, he looked around the room. He finally understood why he lived alone. Yeosang
didn’t have anyone. They were more similar than he thought. Though his parents were alive, they
weren’t really there in the way they were supposed to be. Though he had money, none of it
mattered when it only caused problems within his family. Both of them were alone, in different
ways.

Sighing, he looked down at his hands and began to speak, unsure why he wanted to unload. Maybe
it was to show his tiny amount of understanding. “My father left me and my mom.” Yeosang
stiffened next to him, but didn’t respond. “Apparently he had been having an affair for years with
some younger woman. We didn’t find out about it until she got pregnant and he decided to divorce
my mom.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Yeosang look at him, but he didn’t look up from his
hands as he spoke. “She started drinking after he left. She gets confused sometimes, mistakes me
for my dad.” He let out a deep sigh, finding it strange to talk about it after so long. Only Jangmi
and Hongjoong knew about the situation, but it’s not something he ever actually spoke about, it
was more that they picked up on the clues. “She yells at me, hits me sometimes. Sometimes I can
bring her out of it, get her to go to bed or put down the bottle, but sometimes I have to just leave the
house and let her blow off steam.

“I don’t like being at home. It’s kind of scary, like a haunted house filled with ghosts. Even though
she says she hates him, she won’t take down any photos. She still sleeps in their same bed. Same
blankets and everything. I hate seeing his face everywhere. It makes me want to burn the place
down.”

He paused, finally looking over into eyes that were far prettier than he expected. “Sometimes I
imagine them both inside when I do it.” Yeosang didn’t react to it, face calm, though his eyes
danced with a mixture of confusion and recognition. He smiled sadly, feeling his own heart beat
quickly as those eyes gazed back at him openly, voice thick with emotion suddenly. “Your mom
was good though, right? She loved you?”

San watched a tear fall from his eyes as he nodded. When he spoke, his voice was slightly hoarse
from the yelling and crying. “Yeah. She was the best.”

Against his will, surprising him, he felt a tear fall from his own eyes. He lifted his hand, wiping it
away with his sleeve. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. Smiling, though it was sad,
he nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad.” He couldn’t look away from his intense eyes. “I’m sorry I hurt
you again.”

Shaking his head, Yeosang gave him a small, incredulous, smile. “Where the hell did you come
from?”

~~~

Yeosang had lost all his fight already when San sat down beside him and proceeded to unload his
own parental trauma.

He listened, though he wasn’t really sure why he hadn’t stabbed him or forced him out the door.
Hearing the things he had to deal with, his confessed intrusive thoughts, he realized why this boy
had issues showing any kind of emotion in a normal way. Not that he didn’t realize he had similar
issues, but this kid had no image of what an emotionally healthy person was in his family life.

At least he had had his mom, even if there was no one else, she was amazing while he had her.

Once again, as he always did, without saying it out loud, he forgave San. He watched the tear fall,
watched the boy’s surprise at the wetness on his face, and felt his heart ache for him. What the hell
was he doing? He had enough on his plate with his strange friendship with Wooyoung, school, and
work. Now, he was looking at this familiarly broken boy, who had done so many, albeit
thoughtless, terrible things to him, and yet still, his heart reached out for him.

“Where the hell did you come from?” He felt the small smile grow on his face, eyes still locked
with his.

He frowned, obviously confused. “North side of the city.”

“That’s not what I...” Yeosang rolled his eyes, barking out a laugh. “Nevermind.” He reached
behind him , grabbing the shoes that he had brought with him. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw
San perk up. Opening them, he saw that they looked very similar to his old ones. He looked inside
one, and then narrowed his eyes over at the cautiously smiling boy. “These are my size.”

San nodded. “Yes.”

“How did you know my size?”

Face pinkening, he shrugged. “I saw your shoes outside and guessed they were a couple sizes
smaller than mine.”

Yeosang licked his lips, taking that all in. “You know what you’re doing is called stalking, right?”

The blush darkens. “I was just trying to do something nice.”

He couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. Yeosang looked down at the shoes, sadness still
heavy in his chest, but no longer suffocating. “Thank you San. Don’t buy me anything like this
again, please.” Gosh, what was it with these rich boys and buying people things they didn’t ask
for?

“Unless you ask for it.” San nodded, looking like a puppy that had halfway figured out how the
trick worked to get a pity snack.

Yeosang sighed. He needed to stop adopting rich boys. Wooyoung was already trained, and now he
had to train this one, too. At least Yunho was a fully functional person already. “Twenty minutes
ago I wanted to stab you.”

He laughed awkwardly, reaching back to rub the back of his head. Oh, he’s quite handsome when
he smiles. Yeosang swallowed at the intrusive thought, seeing how all that scary intimidation
disappears with a lift of his lips.

“But we’re friends now?”

Feeling a loss for words, not sure how to really describe whatever this situation was, he decided to
just accept that he kept attracting people who couldn’t leave him alone. He shrugged. “Sure, San.
Let’s call it friends.”

The boy beamed, which fell into something more thoughtful, and he reached out to touch
Yeosang’s shaggy hair. He could feel that it was a mess after crying, and he pulled away slightly at
the comfortable way he ran his fingers through it. “You need a haircut.”

This brought some contention to his face, and he ran his own hands through it, trying to give it
some semblance of style. “I don’t want to waste money on a haircut. Long hair is fine.”

He seemed unbothered. “Let me give you a haircut.”

“I told you, you’re not allowed to spend money on me.” Yeosang sighed, annoyed that this type of
thing kept having to be repeated.

San laughed though, shaking his head. “No, I mean I can give you a haircut. I cut my own hair.”

Frowning, the boy leaned back and took in his hair. It didn’t look like he had done it himself. He
narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know if I trust you with scissors near my head.”

He gave him an unimpressed look. “And yet you’re the one who was threatening me with a pair
just a bit ago.”

Yeosang couldn’t help but smile, motioning toward the scissors. “Have at it. Maybe I’ll get lucky
and you do kill me and I can finally be free.”

San didn’t seem to like that joke, brows furrowing and lips pouting. “Not those scissors. I’ll come
 over tomorrow and do it.”

Feeling his stress rise a bit at the thought, he shook his head. “No, I work tomorrow.”

“What time?”

Eyes narrowing. “All day.”

Taking the challenge, San gave him a soft smile and a nod. “Okay, so pick a time Sunday, or I’ll
wait outside your apartment until you come out or come home.”

“San. Once again. That’s called stalking.” He said the words slowly, feeling admittingly a little
intimidated by the threat.

Letting out a frustrated breath, he waved a hand at the comment. “Just tell me when we can hang
out Sunday.”

“Oh my gosh, I should have never opened my door.” He sighed. “Fine. Noon. No sooner, no later.”
The boy smiled, looking pleased. “Now, please leave. I’ve got things to do today and you’ve done
nothing but stress me out.”

Surprisingly, he nodded, rising and dipping his head with a beaming smile. “I’ll see you Sunday.”
He paused. “Can I have your number?”

“I don’t have a phone.” Yeosang watched his mouth open, and he cut him off. “I don’t want one.
God forbid I would have any peace if I did. Now go.”

He waved him away, turning his head away. He was kind of surprised when the door closed
without any argument. Cautious, he turned to make sure he had actually left. Yeosang fell back on
the bed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before grabbing one of the shoes and lifting it to
look at it.

What is my life?

~~~

San stepped out into the sun, feeling like a whole new person. His heart felt weird. Yeosang’s eyes
kept appearing in his mind, pretty and captivating. When he thought about him his stomach twisted
in a not wholly uncomfortable way, and it brought a warmth to his face, thinking about his smile.

There was something about him that made San feel like he was important. Like he had always been
destined to meet Yeosang at some point. He was confused, but he felt good. Looking up, his eyes
alighted on the shoes dangling from the powerline. San nodded once, as if agreeing to something,
and then headed home.

Don’t worry Mrs. Kang, I found something to care about.

Chapter End Notes

So, finally went to the doctor, turns out i got an inflamed spinal/hip joint. So they've
given me some steroids and some damn good pain meds, hopefully in a week I'll be
good as new and sitting at my computer and writing won't make me feel like my back
is being squeezed by god. Anyway, I'm sending this chapter out into the ether real
quick before I go lay back down with a heating pad lol.

San is really trying his best, and he's got a good? heart, but boy is a few steps behind.

I love him so much.

 A Haircut
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Wooyoung was scared to leave his house in case Yeosang showed up, so when Yunho messaged to
hang out on Saturday, he told him to come to his house.

When his friend arrived, one looked at him and his eyes rolled automatically. “I’m guessing this
hangout is going to turn into a vent session.”

He frowned, closing the door behind him. “I’m fine.”

“Right.” Yunho said the word slowly, fully unconvinced. He walked past him, heading up the
stairs to his room. When the door closed behind them, he sat down in his desk chair and waved a
hand. “Go on. Talk.”

Wooyoung deflated, falling back on the bed. “Isn’t it the same thing everytime?”

“Yeah, but It seems to make you feel better to talk about it.”

He looked up and saw Yunho’s kind smile. “You’re the bestest friend I could have ever asked for.”

“Oh, and I thought that spot would be taken by Yeosang.”

Wooyoung laughed. “You know that’s different.”

Yunho looked down, checking his nails. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m pretty handsome.”

Barking out a laugh, already feeling far better, he sat back up. “He’s not going to do anything about
San, but he apparently did hit him.”

“No surprise there. Not the hitting, that is a surprise. Good for him.” He smiled, crossing his legs
and folding his hands together in his lap. Yunho looked like a proper professional. “It’s one of
those things where you just got to be there for him and let him make the decisions. I know it’s hard
for you not to meddle.”

He huffed. “Feelings are terrible.”

“Agreed.” He clapped his hands together. “Are you done? I came to play games, we’re gonna play
games.”

Wooyoung sighed, nodding. “Yeah, I’m done.”

Yunho kept him busy and preoccupied for a good while, but even that came to an end eventually.
Yeosang having no phone was going to cause him to have high blood pressure by thirty. He just
wanted to know he was there. Especially with San knowing where he lives, which freaks him out,
and makes him jealous at the same time.

The weekend felt like it dragged, and he just couldn’t wait to see him on Monday.

~~~

Yeosang felt nervous all weekend.

He had ended up going out and buying some small groceries. The new shoes on his feet felt foreign
and tight, and he hated them. Though, it was nice not being able to feel every stone beneath his
feet. They had become so thin on the bottom, and he hadn’t noticed until he had a new pair.

Saturday found him working, which was a nice reprieve from the mind numbing boredom of sitting
at home. Seonghwa was there, and commented on his new shoes, complimenting them. He had
awkwardly thanked him, trying to move the conversation along to other things. Vaguely telling
them that exams went well stopped them from accidentally getting other things out of him.

When Sunday came, and he woke up in the morning, his nerves began to make his stomach twist.
He began to wonder why he had agreed to letting him come over. The thought that someone like
San knew where he lived didn’t exactly scare him, because he’s come to realize that in the scheme
of things he was harmless, but he hated the thought that he couldn't hide from him.

Sometimes he felt bad about keeping certain things from Wooyoung, but it was a sort of safety net.
If things became too much, or they fought, or he just wanted to be alone, he knew he could find
that peace in his own apartment. Now, San came around, which is another thing they needed to talk
about, and took away that peace of mind.

Yeosang had been glancing at the clock too often, reading a book in bed, though he couldn’t focus
on it. He felt a mixture of apprehension, fear, and admittingly, excitement. So many intense
feelings were experienced that day he came over, and now that time had passed, what felt like his
soul had calmed and relaxed. He was kind of curious about what it would be like to have San
around, and if he could go ten minutes without making Yeosang cry.

Today was like a test.

When the knock came, he felt his nerves ramp up to a ten. Checking the time, he rolled his eyes,
seeing that it was exactly noon. Rolling off the bed, he strode the two steps it took to get to the
door, opening it wide. San stood there, smile already wide, his backpack over his shoulder and a
bag of what looked suspiciously like food hanging at his side.

Yeosang narrowed his eyes at it. “I told you not to buy me anything.”

He gave him a mock innocent look. “This is for me. If you want some you can have some, but I
haven't eaten today, so I bought something on the way.” Those eyes drifted back up, his sly grin
making his heart race for a moment.

Pretending like he was unaffected, he stepped to the side. “Whatever. Get in here.”

San moved inside, dropping his bag to the ground and moving over to the small table Yeosang
used as a dining table and a desk. “Mind if I eat first?” He didn't wait for a response, beginning to
pull out multiple different dishes.

The other boy, watching with disdain, sighed. “All that food, just for you?”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t decide on one or two things, so I grabbed whatever looked good.” San
looked up, making sure Yeosang saw the two sets of chopsticks he pulled out. “I’m sure I’ll have
leftovers.” He promptly turned around, opening the trays and beginning to dig in.

Yeosang was in hell. All he had had that morning was a small steamed bun and some juice. He was
forced to watch San eat the buffet of food he had brought. Yes, he knew that food was meant for
him as well, but he couldn’t give in to temptation. Why was it that these boys always broke down
his walls with food? Was he really that easy?
Admittingly, he didn’t last long. He let out a frustrating noise, pouting, as he moved to sit across
from San. The other boy watched with a barely fought back smile, being met with an annoyed one,
as Yeosang angrily snatched the extra chopsticks and began digging into the food. They both were
on different ends of glee, one from the flavor of the food, the other from seeing his new friend
eating the food he got him.

“I feel like this is what girls do in dramas to capture the boys they like attention.” Yeosang mused
as he stuffed his face with dumplings. “They use food to soften them and make them open up, and
then they go in for the kill. Then, boom, married.” The chopsticks across from him paused, and he
looked up to see San giving him a strange look. “What?”

He shook his head, eyes shifting down to his food and eyebrows furrowing as he slowly put
another piece of food in his mouth. Even his ears were turning red. “Nothing. Just thought of
something.”

Yeosang watched him, confused as San seemed to slowly lose his appetite. “Are you okay?”

He watched as San swallowed, giving him what seemed like an oddly weak smile. “Yeah, I’m
fine.” Collecting himself quickly, he smiled. “I brought my hair cutting scissors!”

Raising an eyebrow, still a little confused, he let the boy change the subject. “You have special hair
cutting scissors?”

San nodded, reaching over for his bag, he dug around and pulled out a small black bag. When he
unzipped it, Yeosang could see a collection of hygiene items and products. He pulled out a slim set
of scissors. “Normal scissors cut the hair in an odd, choppy, way that will make it stick out weird.
These are made so that your hair will fall correctly.”

Finding all of it a little boring, Yeosang only nodded. “Cool.”

“We’ll do it after we finish eating.”

Yeosang nodded, not saying anything as he continued to eat, eyes finding themselves drifting to the
scissors laying menacingly on the table.

~~~

San was feeling a lot of strange things.

He had woken up far too early and had packed his bag at nearly eight am. Then he had sat around
the house, waiting for a decent enough time to leave. This weekend he had spent more time in this
house than he had in a few weeks. He was usually a mainstay at Mingi’s or Hongjoong’s, so being
there for multiple nights in a row was strange.

Even though he stayed there each night, he didn’t spend all day there. He had gone to Hongjoong’s,
apologizing, and talking to him about what had happened on Thursday. His friend was obviously
disappointed in him, but when he told him about having apologized to Yeosang, and that they were
on better terms now, he seemed proud. It had made San feel surprisingly good, even though he had
left things very vague about exactly how his apology had gone down.

Though he was there more often than normal, he and his mother still seemed to miss each other in
passing. She was still sleeping off the night of drinking when he got up to leave, and by the time he
went home to sleep, she was passed out on the couch or somewhere else in the house. It was like
living in an empty house for as much as he saw her up and walking. He had other things on his
mind, so he let his mind focus on that instead of his mother.
Suffice to say, San had a lot of thoughts about Yeosang.

While he was thinking about him, and his pretty eyes, and his frustrated, but cute face, his heart
would speed up and his lips would lift against his will. No one he had ever met had ever affected
him like that. To be honest, he had hardly given a second glance to most people in his life. Even he
and Hongjoong had become friends, because their father’s were business partners and
comfortability grew between them. Jangmi was another case of being around enough to have drawn
his attention, and being another calm, thoughtful person had meshed well with the way he was
passively living at the time.

Yeosang, though, he was different. This was the first time he had seeked someone out himself. It
was the first time that he had approached someone with the intent of getting to know them in some
capacity out of something other than duty or expectation. He couldn’t tell if it was just his
inexperience with being an aggressor in any relationship, or if there was actually something about
the way his lips looked that he had never noticed on anyone else, because when he saw them
moving or smiling he was absolutely captivated.

And then he said that..

“I feel like this is what girls do in dramas to capture the boys they like attention. They use food to
soften them and make them open up, and then they go in for the kill. Then, boom, married.”

Like his mind was being expanded, he was suddenly looking up at Yeosang and imagining kissing.
He saw his fingers running through his hair, hands on hips, and hugs that were too warm to be seen
in public. San’s mind showed him Yeosang smiling up at him, wrapping arms around his neck. He
saw a future that he suddenly desperately wanted and it came out of nowhere, taking his breath and
turning his ears red with heat that made it hard for him to hear as the blood rushed to many
different places.

And then he noticed, asking if he was okay, and he had to lie and change the subject to cutting hair.
He was so not fine. His mind was struggling to process that sudden bourrage of self realization.
Which he could absolutely not talk to Yeosang about. Who could he talk about that with? He
trusted Hongjoong, but he also wasn’t even sure it was enough of a certainty to let such a thing slip
out into the universe.

Do I like guys?

There was a semi uncomfortable silence between them right then as they ate, and his mind took
that time to have a complete meltdown. He couldn’t even look at Yeosang, as he thought about
Jangmi and the other girls he had passively dated. San has kissed girls, and it was fine. He never
felt disgusted by girls, though he hadn’t exactly been mad about not having sexual relations with
them.

Was that wrapped up with how he kept people at a distance, though?

Also, thinking back, he had seen Hongjoong nearly naked before, and nothing like this had
happened. He had seen Mingi fully naked, against his will, and not one feeling other than
annoyance and disdain had happened then. During school and PE showering, not a single thought
had filled his mind. To be honest though, for quite some time, he hardly had any thoughts about
anyone around him.

His brain was starting to hurt. San wasn’t used to this kind of self reflection. To be honest, he had
always been the type of guy to try his hardest not to look inward. Maybe isolating himself from
caring about the world had made him not realize some things about himself.
Like how this boy in front of him was so fucking cute it made his brain chemistry go haywire.

Eventually the silence seemed to become too awkward for Yeosang to handle it anymore. “You
seem to have a lot on your mind.”

“I do.” He said it without thinking, and he looked up quickly, laughing awkwardly. “Trying to
think of what haircut I should do for you.” Nice save.

Seeming to not question it, he waved a hand. “I was going to end up shaving it anyway. It was
starting to get annoying.”

“But you have nice hair.” He scolded, and Yeosang rolled his eyes.

Sighing, he drained the last of his water he was drinking, pointing at the scissors. “Let’s get this
done before I chicken out and change my mind.”

Happy for the chance to distract his mind, he pushed the leftover food away, which wasn’t much
since they both had apparently actually been famished. San rose and looked around, only finding a
stool in the corner. “Do you have any chairs?”

Yeosang shook his head, pointing out the stool. “I got that. Will that not work?”

“It’ll be fine, just make sure you sit straight so I don’t have to slouch over you.” He gave him a
playful look, and Yeosang rolled his eyes, grabbing the stool. He walked over to the center of the
small open space, sat it down and sat down on it. “Do you have a towel or something to cover your
shoulders?”

“So many demands for a simple haircut.” He grumbled. “I only have one. Just cut the hair and I’ll
shower after.”

San pointed the scissors at him. “Do you want hair all over your clothes?”

“Oh my gosh!” His frustrated exclamation made the other boy jump. Yeosang stood from his seat
and proceeded to pull off his shirt, throwing it aside. Then in one smooth movement, he
unbuttoned his pants, pulled them off in one swift movement and tossed them on the bed with his
shirt, taking off his socks next. He sat back down, facing away from him. “Cut the fucking hair
before I kick you out.”

He did all that in a matter of seconds, unknowingly sending San into what he would later learn is
called ‘gay panic’.

Yeosang was currently only in his underwear. San was forced, though not unwilling, to take in the
swathes of bare skin suddenly on display. The shoulders bunched in annoyance, the back narrowed
down to his waist. He could see the little peaking of hair from under his armpits. He was all
smooth milk. The legs were lightly covered in hair, muscular enough to stretch the seams of the
gray briefs that hugged his body.

Swallowing heavily, he stepped past him to grab a bottle of water from the table to wet his hair.
When he turned, he could see him glowering out the balcony door, the curtains having been pulled
aside. On full view was his nearly naked body. His chest was developed enough that his pecs were
defined, nipples already turning hard in the chill air of the apartment. His stomach skin was
wrinkled from sitting down, but he could recognize the telltale signs of the beginning of abs.

His bulge was…impressive.

San rushed back behind him, trying to hide the absolutely, sweltering heat that was rushing to his
face, ears, and groin. Okay, so there was no questioning himself after a reaction like that. He
definitely was sexually attracted to Yeosang. Now, he was cursed to cut his hair, and not think
perverted thoughts while he did it.

He began to try to wet his hair with the water bottle, but when that was becoming awkward and
taking too long, Yeosang made another frustrated noise. “And here I thought you were well
prepared.” He stood, walking into the bathroom.

Watching, frozen, he couldn’t help his eyes that dropped to the round ass that teased him with each
step. Through the door, he could see him leaning into the stream of water he turned on, ass on full
display to the boy behind him. It was done in seconds, and he turned to walk back, too irritated to
even notice that San’s eyes were eating him alive, from head to toe. He sat back down, totally
unaware.

Getting control of himself, he grabbed his comb and forced his eyes to stay on the hair he began to
cut. He had cut Hongjoong’s and Mingi’s hair multiple times, so he had experience, but he was so
much more worried he would mess Yeosang’s hair up. That worry seemed enough to distract his
mind through the process of moving around the stiff body as he cut and trimmed.

After about twenty minutes, obviously longer than Yeosang wanted by the way his eyes would
sometimes narrow at San when they were face to face, he wiped the hair off his shoulders. San
leaned over in front of him, face to face, as he picked at his bangs and made sure it was even. He
felt confident in what he had done, because as he pulled back and actually looked at the full boy, he
was more handsome than ever.

San couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “You look handsome as hell.” He didn’t get
embarrassed saying it, seeing the way Yeosang’s face flushed, though his eyes looked distrustful.
“I kept it simple. You should just have to wash and dry it like normal, little bit of product and
you’re good to go.”

Yeosang stood and walked into the bathroom. Though San was still embarrassingly aware of his
bare body, it was overtaken by his pride at following and seeing the boy look impressed in the
mirror. “It does look good.” He laughed, giving him a rueful look in the mirror. “My mom was the
last one to actually cut my hair.”

“Yeosang.” He sighed, rolling his eyes, but couldn’t help the way his heart fluttered at being
teased.

Nodding, seeming to accept it, he turned and waved him out. “I’m going to shower. Clean that up.”
He pointed at the mess, not waiting for a response and closing the door.

Sticking out his tongue at the door, he turned and grabbed his chest, letting out a silent scream. The
amount of times he had gotten aroused during the whole situation and had to try his hardest to hide
it was so embarrassing he thought he was going to die. It was over now, and he could breathe for a
moment before the boy returned to suffocate him again in beauty.

Searching around, he found a broom and dustpan and collected the unholy amount of hair he had
cut off the boy. There was so much more than he had expected. Dumping it into the trash can, he
set aside the broom and dustpan and clicked his tongue, looking around the small space. His eyes
landed on the clothes that were strewn across the bed.

No. He couldn't. He shouldn’t. He did. Moving forward, he lifted up the shirt and brought it to his
nose, taking in the scent of cheap laundry detergent and body soap. It was his smell though. Eyes
widening, he looked down to see that he would totally notice his clothes had been messed with. To
remedy that, he moved them all into a half folded pile at the end of the bed and threw himself on
the bed.

Pulling out his phone, he kept it in his hands, letting his body focus on the pillow beneath his head.
Looking at the bathroom door, still hearing the water running, he turned slightly and smelled it.
When he realized what he was doing, he quickly turned his head and stared at the ceiling, face
burning with embarrassment.

Was he an animal going into heat for the first time? What is this depraved behavior? He was so
disappointed in himself. Sighing, he lifted his phone, opening up some random social media so he
could scroll through it and try to get his mind off everything that was making him into an insane
person today.

Eventually, the water turned off, and the door opened. San didn’t look away from his phone at first,
but then his eyes shifted as he saw Yeosang walk out from the corner of his eyes. He was wearing a
towel around his waist, not even looking at San as he moved over to his dresser. That terrible boy
had no clue what his wet skin, and dripping hair was doing to the boy on his bed.

San had to turn his own eyes away before the towel dropped, because Yeosang seemed to either
have forgotten him or didn’t care. He moved his phone to the other hand, so his eyes were
unfocused at the wall, not even seeing what was on his screen. If he was lucky, with how he had
situated himself, nothing would be noticed by the other boy. Unless he was forced to get up before
he could calm down.

After a couple minutes, Yeosang drew his attention. “It’s lost its shape.”

Turning to look at him, he laughed at the pout he was wearing as he tried to finger comb his hair.
“Do you not have a brush or a comb?”

He shook his head. “I don’t even use product.”

Frustration at his lack of hair care seemed to be the trick to get his semi erection to become
forgotten and relaxing. Moving to the side of the bed, he pulled his bag toward him and pulled out
his own tube of product and brush. He held it out, offering it to him. “Take it. I didn’t buy them
with the intention of giving it to you, so just take them.”

Yeosang gave him a pouting look at his tone, but reached out and snatched the items from him.
“It’s almost empty.” He commented. San took a deep, steadying breath, and Yeosang quickly
changed his tune. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Rolling his eyes, but pleased nonetheless, San motioned toward the product. “If you like it, I’ll tell
you where to get similar things for cheap so you can get it yourself.”

His eyes drifted across San’s face for a moment, before he gave him a soft smile, nodding. “Thank
you.”

“You do look really good.” He couldn’t help but let it slip out, smiling up at Yeosang at the way
his face pinkened.

Putting the items on his dresser, he turned and gave him a genuine look. “I’m sorry for my attitude
today. I really appreciate you doing this.” He gave a teasing smile. “And doing a surprisingly good
job.”

Letting it slide, amused more than anything, he nodded. “I appreciate you letting me do it, and for
letting me come over and bother you.”

Yeosang snorted out a laugh, rolling his eyes. Sighing deeply, he gave him an almost disappointed
look. “Unfortunately, I think that’s all the time for us today. I have work in a couple hours and I
need to recharge after all that stress you caused.”

Stress I caused? If only you fucking knew. San only laughed though, nodding agreeably. “It’s okay.
It was a good time.”

“Yeah.” He gave him a genuine smile. “It actually was.”

Standing, he collected his things, giving him one last look. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Yeah. See you.”

San didn’t move, giving him a serious look. “Like, we can talk to each other at school? No
weirdness after everything?”

Rolling his eyes, he bit his cheek, seeming to find his questions very amusing. “My friends might
not like the idea that we’ve gotten close after what you did, but they’ll get over it.”

Gotten close. The words settled in his heart and caused his smile to broaden more than necessary.
“Okay. Good. I’ll see yah, then.”

“Mhmm.”

He finally closed the door, holding it all in until he stepped out into the street, letting out a long
scream that scared the people walking around him. That was the best experience of his whole life,
and also both confusing and strangely illuminating at the same time. Every time he spent more time
with Yeosang, he felt his soul was growing back little by little. He didn’t know what his new
feelings meant for the future, but if Yeosang was at least his friend in it, he was excited to
experience it.

~~~

Yeosang stood in the mirror after San left, staring at himself. He had done a really good job. There
had been days before he had almost gotten so frustrated that he shaved it. Well, that’s one reason to
keep the boy around. He gave himself a sly smile, amused at his own joke.

To be honest though, he found himself actually enjoying being around him. It was similar to being
around Wooyoung, but still different. His friend thought things through more, and could
understand him without words, it felt like a more mature connection.

San on the other hand, was a more straightforward person. He seemed to say what was on his mind
and ask outright questions. While sometimes uncomfortable, he also felt like it was easier to handle
those deeper questions from him, probably from having shared their parental trauma with each
other. It was a special connection, Yeosang couldn’t deny that.

Now he had two boys who made his confusion even more debilitating. Just like with Wooyoung,
but far quicker with San, there were moments where their eyes met and he saw that familiar look.
His heart would speed up, and it almost seemed like his skin was on fire where San had touched
him. When he had brushed the hair off his neck, it felt like being scalded, and the way his stomach
filled with heat was embarrassing.

Yeosang had things he needed to figure out with all these feelings. It was hard for him to want to
 look deeper though, he just wanted his friends to be his friends and to focus on school. He was
afraid that whatever was happening in his heart would ruin everything he was working toward.
There was an understanding that the answers were all under the surface, and if he searched for
them he would find them, and that terrified him.

So, like any normal, repressed teenager, he shoved it all down into a dark box and closed the lid for
introspection at a far later date.

Getting dressed, he let his mind wander to how school would go on Monday. He felt that there was
going to be some drama he was going to have to deal with with Wooyoung. The shoes, and the
haircut, were going to be a subject of contention. Yeosang laughed at his situation, having to worry
about a friend’s jealousy.

He ignored the part of him that felt warm at the thought.

Chapter End Notes

It's only been a few days since I started taking the steroids and I already feel much
better, so hopefully soon I'll be back to feeling normal.

In other news, here we have gay panic at it's finest!!!! I hope you've all enjoyed this
chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it lol.
 Not Being Replaced
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Wooyoung was antsy to get to school.

After having not seen Yeosang all weekend, he was excited to see him again. He had spent the
whole weekend worrying over how he was doing, alone. It was about time he talked to him about
keeping where he lived a secret. Or at least getting even a cheap phone to be able to communicate,
because he was starting to go insane.

The person he loved had no one else, of that he was pretty sure, putting together all the things he
had learned about him. He didn’t want to demand it of him, but he was tired of always being
unsure whether he was okay or not. What if something happened? He had no way to even call the
police. Something had to give.

When he walked into the school, ten minutes earlier than normal, he went straight to Yeosang’s
locker. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his nerves and apprehension to a low simmer. His
eyes flitted around the hallway, keeping watch for that familiar head of shaggy hair. Except when a
boy arrived next to him, it was not shaggy hair that greeted him.

“Hey, Wooyoung.” He was frozen in shock. Yeosang’s once shaggy mess of hair, that seemed to
hide his whole face, was now trimmed into a stylish, short curtain cut. His bangs framed his pretty
eyes and played a bit along his birthmark. When he glanced at the frozen boy, his eyes darted,
looking apprehensive. “What?”

Swallowing, finally returning to his body, he could feel his face heating up. “You got a haircut.”

He blushed, awkwardly lifting a hand to touch his hair. “Uh, yeah.”

“You look amazing.” Wooyoung offered it on an almost tied tongue.

Yeosang smiled, his pleased look sending warm daggers into Wooyoung’s heart. “Thank you.”

Trying to seem like he wasn’t finding it difficult to breathe while looking at him, he reached out
himself, fixing a strand. “I didn’t think you would ever get a haircut.”

“Well,” he rolled his eyes. “It was kind of a rash decision. I was talked into it.”

He laughed, leaning against the locker beside him, not able to look away from his framed eyes.
“Well, it was definitely a good decision. You might have to start beating away girls again.”

Yeosang, instead of laughing, looked annoyed. “I better not. I’ll shave my head tomorrow.”

Something about that made Wooyoung’s heart lift, and he laughed happily. “You’ll be fine. I’m
sure…” His voice trailed off as he saw a familiar form heading their way. The smile on the face
was happy, and that freaked him out. “San’s coming this way.”

He went to push off the locker, and Yeosang reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, holding
him back. “He’s okay.” Wooyoung’s protective frown turned into a confused one, looking over at
Yeosang who gave him a pointed look. “Me and him are fine.”
There was no time to respond before San stopped in front of both of them, smiling bright and
white. Wooyoung felt his blood run cold as San reached out and ran his fingers through Yeosang’s
hair. “You figured out the product. It looks good.”

Pushing his hand away, he frowned and patted his hair to fix nothing because it looked the same.
“I’m not a child. I said I didn’t use it, not that I didn’t know how.”

His eyes narrowed. Those words implied they have talked since Thursday. They implied that he
knew about the haircut before him. They implied that he might have even been there, or been the
one to talk him into it. Suffice to say, his blood had returned to boiling with jealousy.

San smirked, laughing softly. He turned, and raised an amused eyebrow at Wooyoung. “Who’s this
person glaring at me?” The asshole had the audacity to be blunt, and then bump his elbow against
Yeosang, like it was all a joke.

As if finally realizing he was there, Yeosang turned, giving him a worried look. “This is
Wooyoung.”

“His best friend.” Wooyoung said with a sense of importance, but San only smiled, and he hated
that it looked genuine.

He held out his hand to him, as if they weren’t a bunch of teenagers in school. “I’m San.”

The boy, invisibly green with jealousy, looked at his hand and returned his unimpressed gaze to his
face. “I’m the friend who was there when you pushed him. You know, like five days ago.”

He sent an embarrassed look back toward Yeosang, who looked like he wanted to run away.
“Right. Yeah, I wasn’t in the best place at the time. We’ve already talked it all out.” His eyes
drifted to the boy between them, eyes softening in such an obvious way that Wooyoung wanted to
pluck them out. “We’re good, yeah?”

Yeosang let out a deep sigh, nodding. “Yeah, we’re good. Now go to class.”

San laughed. “We’ve still got a couple minutes.”

He pushed his arm, turning him around and shoving him in the back. “I said go.”

“Fine, fine.” Before he walked away, he turned again, beaming. “I’ll come find you at lunch.”

Yeosang glared at him. “Don’t.”

“See you at lunch.” He called happily, disappearing into the crowd.

When his friend turned around with a nervous look, Wooyoung had his eyes narrowed at him
accusingly. “You got a haircut with him? When did that happen?”

“I mean technically he gave me the haircut.” He said it awkwardly, as if knowing it would upset
Wooyoung.

Which it did. He couldn’t even hide his jealousy. There was no willpower left in him to play it off
as friendship, but he did his best. “How did you guys even end up being able to talk? You don’t
have a phone.” his eyes fell finally to his shoes, looking him over without thinking, trying to find
other signs of San on him. “I see you also got new shoes.”

Yeosang sighed, looking tired already. “Can we save this for later? We need to get to class.”
“When will we have time, because apparently he’ll be finding you at lunch.” His tone is
accusatory.

The boy gave him a tired look. “He came over on Friday and apologized. We had a long
discussion, it turned into a haircut, we are now good. There are no hard feelings, and there is no
reason for you to be rude to him.” As he got to that final sentence his gaze became stern, as if
disciplining him. “The shoes are not something I’m happy about, but things happened.”

Wooyoung clenched his fists, unable to control the roiling mass of emotions that strangled each
other around his heart. “Oh, no hard feelings? He gets to come over to your house and give you
haircuts and buy you gifts, but I’m kept in the dark after months of us being friends?”

Surprising him into losing all his fight, and his breath, Yeosang stepped forward and grabbed the
back of his neck, pulling him slightly closer. He shook him slightly when he spoke to punctuate his
words. “Wooyoung, you are not being replaced.”

It was like all his fears were solidified into a single sentence and then forced into his face. Yeosang
was looking at him and he was being seen by the boy that he wished could look deeper and see the
love that was just below the surface. Wooyoung wanted Yeosang to not just see his negative
emotions right now, to see everything he couldn’t say out loud.

He felt his eyes swim against his will, and he took a deep breath, swallowing away the anger that
had been spilling from him. “He hurt you.”

“He was hurt.” Yeosang explained kindly, eyes softening as he stared into Wooyoung’s. He rubbed
the back of his neck with his thumb, soothing him. “I decided to listen and hear him out, and I
forgive him. You are my friend, but it is not your place to decide I cannot fight my own battles.
San is… he is a good person.” Wooyoung’s brows furrowed. “I understand him and what he’s
going through. Can’t you trust that I wouldn’t let someone in my space that wasn’t worth my
peace?”

Yeosang’s unfiltered trust and honesty were shown to him, and he was giving Wooyoung the
chance to choose to trust him instead of his jealousy and protectiveness. Swallowing dryly, thrown
off by the way that he was sticking up for San, while also knowing he wouldn’t do that for just
anyone, Wooyoung was forced to accept it. He nodded.

Coming back into the present, having forgotten where they were, they both looked around
awkwardly, noticing that a few people were giving them curious looks. Yeosang quickly dropped
his hand, turning pink. Clearing his throat, Wooyoung motioned down the hall. “We should
probably get to class.”

“Yeah.” He laughed, seeming to look more relaxed now.

They started walking, and though Wooyoung’s feelings were soothed, they were still there. “How
did he find out where you lived?”

“He followed me home.” He said it matter of factly, giving him a shrug. “Don’t worry, I’m
breaking him of the habit.”

Wooyoung’s mouth fell open in incredulous shock. “You’re just letting that slide? Like that?”

“Not just like that.” He looked frustrated. “Just… we’ve talked about it. When it happened there
was a lot going on and he thought I was part of the blame.” Yeosang looked at him.. “Remember,
because he thought his girlfriend was cheating on him with me?”
He didn’t feel convinced. “Right…”

Sighing, he laughed, but it was humorless. “You guys make me wish I was still alone.”

“Hey!”

Yeosang turned on him, ignoring his hurt look, looking unimpressed. “You’re the one with the
jealousy problems.”

He was thrown by the sudden callout. But what could he say when he was right. So he kept his
mouth shut and they walked the rest of the way in silence. When they got to the classroom, Yunho
gave them a smile, which turned into curious raised eyebrows at whatever emotions were on their
faces.

Well, at least they were back in school and he would be able to see Yeosang everyday.

~~~

Yeosang was stressed.

The animosity Wooyoung had directed toward San had been almost palpable, but San had seemed
either impervious or ignorant to it. He could see the jealousy on his face, but underneath that was
that fear. It had been in the moment that he had grabbed Wooyoung like that to tell him those
things he needed to hear.

Being friends with people was more work than he had remembered. It had never felt like he had to
mediate and referee for people in the past. What was it about him that caused people to act like
that? Well, thinking about it, it was really only Wooyoung, and he could sense the same thing, if in
a different capacity, with San. Yunho never acted like that. Why couldn’t he have made more
friends like Yunho?

Once that thought flitted across his mind, he struck it down, feeling guilty. No, Wooyoung was
amazing to him and cared so much, that’s why he acted that way. It wasn’t a bad thing, but it
sometimes was too much for Yeosang to handle. He didn’t want him to change, he just wanted him
to have better control.

The thought made him laugh internally. Looking over, he caught the boy staring, who blushed and
looked back down at his books. Yeosang shook his head, not being able to help the smile that
painted his lips. His life was becoming messier by the day, and yet he couldn’t help but feel like it
wasn’t always a bad thing.

When the bell rang for lunch, the three boys made their way out of the class. He felt a little on
edge, waiting for the inevitable moment when San’s presence appeared. Wooyoung seemed to be
feeling the same, eyes flitting around as if searching for him.

Yunho took notice. “Umm, so anyone want to tell me what’s got you guys acting so weird?”

“Yeosang decided he was going to become friends with San.” Wooyoung accused, giving Yunho a
raised eyebrow that said ‘I’m not even joking’.

Taking it in stride though, their friend gave Yeosang a warm smile. “Your kind heart knows no
limit.”

Surprised, he laughed. “Sometimes I wish it did.” Wooyung grumbled, but Yunho laughed with
him.
When they stepped out the doors, a shadow appeared and suddenly an arm was being thrown
around Yeosang’s shoulder. San smiled over at him, not seeming to sense the ball of jealousy to his
right. “What’s the plan for lunch?” Without waiting for an answer, he looked up and saw Yunho,
and he beamed. “I’m San.”

“Yunho.” The boy gave him an impressed look, though Yeosang didn’t understand why.

Pushing off his arm, earning him a pout that he ignored, he looked over at the other two boys. “I
don’t care. I’m cool with the convenience store. I’m not that hungry.”

“It’s warm out today, let’s sit outside.” The taller boy offered, not waiting for answers and turning
into the direction of the store.

It was silent for a few moments as they all walked in awkward silence, though San looked a little
confused by it. He turned to Wooyoung, and Yeosang felt his chest tighten with expectation. “I
think we were in the same class last year.”

Wooyoung sighed, obviously annoyed by being singled out. He looked over, shrugging. “Maybe, I
don’t know.”

He nodded though, seeming sure. “You sat in the front row, but I was in the back.”

“Mmm.” The boy seemed to want to end the conversation.

That try of conversation ended, and they all walked into the convenience store. Afterwards they
made their way to their familiar tree they sometimes relaxed at when it was warm enough. They sat
at the base, looking out across the campus as they ate from their pile of snacks and foods.

Wooyoung was the first to speak. Of course, not the best conversation starter. “How did your
exams come out?”

They had gotten their scores back during the class before lunch, but he hadn’t looked at it yet. “He
shrugged. They haven’t called me to the office to give me a warning or kick me out, so I’m
guessing they’re good enough.”

San frowned, mouth full. “Wait what? Why would you get kicked out?”

As if waiting to drop this bomb, Wooyoung gave him a deadly cold look. “He’s on a scholarship,
so if he doesn’t have good enough grades he’ll get it revoked and he’ll be kicked out.”

Mouth falling open in shock, he looked over at Yeosang, who gave him a weak smile, shrugging.
“Yeah.”

His face morphed into horror, and that annoying, guilty look appeared. “I didn’t know.”

Yeosang shook his head, giving him a soft laugh to show that he was okay. “It’s okay San, it’s in
the past.” He gave a more serious look toward Wooyoung. “Let’s leave it in the past.” His friend
slightly bared his teeth in annoyance before turning his face away from all of them.

Eyes like a hawk, watching them all, Yunho decided to join in on the conversation. “So, San.”

“Hmm?” He looked over, having been giving Yeosang a continued worried look.

Wiping his hands, he leaned on one, looking comfortable and kind of elegant. “So I heard you cut
Yeosang’s hair?”
San beamed, looking over, obvious pride showing through. “I did. It looks great, doesn’t it?”
Yeosang blushed, rolling his eyes and letting his eyes drift anywhere except on any of these faces,
just like Wooyoung.

No one saw, because no one was looking at Yunho, but his eyes were alight with heavenly
knowledge. “You did a great job. Our Yeosang was beginning to look more like a shaggy maltese
instead of this slick doberman.”

Hearing his laughter, Yeosang turned a pouting look toward San, who looked at him with that
uncomfortably comfortable warmth. “I mean, haircut or not, he’s just cute.”

Wooyoung huffed, rising out of nowhere. “I forgot I have something to do. I’ll see you after
lunch.” Without looking back, he strode away.

Looking after him, Yeosang felt his chest tighten. He looked back and gave Yunho a questioning
look, who only smiled as if he knew everything, taking a sip of his drink. “Well San, aren’t you a
topic of contention?”

“Yunho.” Yeosang warned, giving him a tired look.

San frowned, looking between them, before understanding settled in. “He’s still mad about what
happened.” He sighed. “I don’t judge him, I was an asshole.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, but he was still smiling, enjoying the conversation. “But you seem really
different.”

He looked up, blushing and smiling warmly as he looked over at Yeosang. “I feel different.”

The boy he was staring at felt like he wanted to disappear into the earth.

Yunho wasn’t done. “You two have seemed to have grown incredibly close in such a short time.
Me and Wooyoung had to work weeks on this young man before he turned into this confident brat
you see before you.”

Turning a glare on him, Yeosang cleared his throat. “Are you done?”

Unfortunately, San was finding it all hilarious, smiling happily and joining in on the teasing. “Oh,
that was you guys? I was wondering how someone who looked so innocent and was rumored to
only care about his grades could be so mouthy.”

“Alright, I’m leaving.” He rose to stand, but San reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him
back down.

He held on tightly. “Sit down. We’ll stop.” Yeosang looked at their combined hands and dropped
back to the ground, pulling his hand away from the current of electricity that had forced its way to
his chest. If San felt it, he hid it well, turning an amused look toward his accomplice. “So what do
you guys do for fun?”

“Yeosang doesn’t do fun.” He shot the accused with a disappointed look.

Seeming unsurprised, San nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. When I was giving him the haircut, all
he could do was complain. He’s a bit dramatic.”

Scoffing, he narrowed his eyes at him. “Dramatic?”

“Yeah, that describes him perfectly.” Yunho took another sip, seeming to fully enjoy the teasing.

San snorted. “I told him to get a towel to protect his clothes from the hair, and he got so annoyed he
stripped down into his underwear instead.” He laughed, shoving a cookie into his mouth.

Freezing, Yeosang’s eyes widened in shock at his admission. Gazing over, Yunho’s mouth had
already fallen open. “Scandalous.”

He felt his face burning, and he waved a hand at them. “Can you not?”

The two shared in their amusement at teasing him, before letting the conversation move on to other
topics. Thankfully, Yunho seemed to pick up on how uncomfortable he was because he made sure
to keep the rest of the conversion harmless. While they talked, and Yeosang sometimes joined in,
his mind was distracted by Wooyoung’s missing presence.

Lunch ended, and San left them when they got back into the building. The two walked toward their
class in silence, until Yunho finally spoke, bringing up the elephant in the room. “Wooyoung is too
jealous for his own good.” He said it softly, conversationally, but low enough that only Yeosang
could hear him.

He sighed, not even able to deny it. “Sometimes it just makes me exhausted.”

“He cares about you. A lot.”

Yeosang nodded, giving him a knowing, but tired, look. “Did he think I was never going to make
other friends? First Jangmi, now San. It’s getting a little ridiculous.”

His friend took a long moment to think before speaking. “I don’t know. For some strange reason, I
think San will be a good addition to the group.”

Frowning, he looked over, seeing his sage face. “What do you mean by that?”

Yunho shrugged, giving him a rueful smile. “I think San is exactly what you two need.”

“Can you elaborate?” He felt frustrated and annoyed by his vague riddle-speak.

He only smiled though, as they approached the class finally. “No, I don’t think I will.”

“I think you’re my least favorite.” Yeosang muttered, but it only earned him an amused grin.

When they walked through the doors, his eyes immediately found Wooyoung. It was a familiar
sight, him not looking up from his desk as he absentmindedly scribbled doodles into his notebook.
Yeosang walked over, heart fluttering, and ran his hands through his hair.

The boy looked up at him, eyes widening. Yeosang smiled down at him, trying to send him as
much warmth as he could in one look. Without speaking, they shared a look of understanding, and
Wooyoung nodded after a moment, seeming to relax.

Yeosang shook his head, giving him an exhausted look. “You’re a mess.”

“I blame you.” His voice was soft, but he already looked like he felt better.

Yunho cleared his throat behind him, and the two straightened themselves out. Wooyoung
awkwardly returned to looking at his notebook, while Yeosang looked around to find that no one
seemed to be paying attention, or at least he couldn’t tell if anyone was. He sat down at his desk,
looking over to share one last look with Wooyoung, who rolled his eyes at him.
Things were going to be okay.

~~~

San was on cloud nine.

Hongjoong didn’t recognize his friend.

He still couldn't focus on what the teacher was saying, but that wasn’t much of a difference from
normal. As he sat in the back of the class, he was unaware of his friend watching him with a look
of interest. For the most part he was rotating between daydreaming and scrolling through social
media on his phone.

After what felt like hours, the bell rang and he rose from his desk and collected his things. When
he looked up, Hongjoong was waiting for him, one eyebrow raised. He smiled, rolling his eyes at
the look. Moving forward, he clapped him on the shoulder, pushing him along with him.

“What's with the look?”

“Why are you smiling so much?” He was giving him a distrustful look, as if he were doing
something mischievous.

He shrugged, laughing. “I’m just in a great mood.”

“I’ve never seen you in a ‘great’ mood.” Hongjoong grimaced. “It’s weird.”

San looked at his friend for a long time, before nodding. “Wait for me at your locker. I’ll head
home with you and I’ll tell you everything.” His eyes narrowed, but he nodded. “Alright, I’ll be
right there.”

He moved quickly through the halls, finding his way to his locker. Looking down the way, he
didn’t see Yeosang at his locker yet, so he had time to quickly switch his shoes out and collect his
things. When he closed his locker, that familiar pretty face was finally there. Bounding down the
way, he was happy to find him alone.

“Hey.”

Yeosang looked up, looking a little surprised. “Hey.”

“I just wanted to see you before I left.” He said honestly.

The boy gave him a confused look, laughing softly. “Why?”

San’s playful smile softened into a more serious one. “My day would be ruined if I didn’t get to see
you one last time.”

His mouth dropped open a little, and he could see pinkness rise into his cheeks. “Oh.”

San dipped his head, feeling proud of the reaction he got, and gave him a flirtatious smile. “I’ll see
you tomorrow.”

He nodded, looking like he was slightly stunned. “Yeah… okay” His words were slightly choked,
as if he was finding it hard to speak.

Just to add to the assault, he stepped forward, far closer than he needed to be, and reached up to fix
his hair. “I’m finding more reasons not to leave.” San’s words were soft, only for him, and he let
his eyes drop down to where Yeosang watched him wide eyed. Arms finally dropping, he took a
step back. “Okay, I actually need to go. Bye.”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, seeming to get control of himself. “You should go.”

San took pity on him, and didn’t say anything else, only sending him a smile before finally walking
away.

He found his way over to Hongjoong’s locker which was in the other hall. His friend was patiently
waiting, eyes flitting around him, until they landed on the figure approaching. San nodded toward
the door, and they fell into step together, making their way out of the building. As usual, they were
halfway across campus when Mingi appeared out of nowhere.

“What’s the plan today?”

Hongjoong took control right away. “Dinner with my parents.” He looked over. “Want to come?
Free food.”

The magic words were spoken, and Mingi made a hissing noise. “Oh no. I wish I could, but I’ve
just remembered my dad was coming into town tonight.”

“Hmm.” San acted annoyed.

Mingi was oblivious. “I’m sorry guys. I swear, next time I will come say hi to the Kims.”

“Whatever.” Hongjoong waved him away.

Thinking that he had swerved a very awkward dinner, Mingi disappeared as quickly as he had
appeared.

“He’s so predictable.” San muttered, unable to stop the amused laughter.

Hongjoong grunted his agreement. “Works every time.”

Looking over, he gave him an honest look. “To be honest, I would also rather do anything else than
have dinner with your parents. Besides dinner with my own.”

His lips curled, closest thing to a laugh you could normally get with Hongjoong.

They climbed into the car that came to collect him everyday. There was an understanding of
silence, especially with no partition, as they rode towards Hongjoong’s home. His home was twice
the size of San’s, and three times as empty. It was enormous for the four people who lived there,
especially when two of them were never home. His parents may make an appearance once a week,
and hardly ever at the same time.

Which is why it might as well be San’s first home, and his actual home the second.

Finally arriving, they strode in the double front doors, walking into the distant noise of blaring
music. “Jongho is already home.” San commented, in which his friend grunted in acknowledgment.

They walked up the long staircase, down an even longer hallway until they reached his room at the
very end. His room felt more like an office than anything else. The ceiling to floor windows on the
corner of the modern room let all the light in the world shine in. His multiple large bookshelves
were covered in heavy books. Everything from philosophy and psychiatry books to young adult
and manga. If it had words, he would read it.
San walked over and sat down on his king sized bed, the expensive, seemingly million thread
sheets feeling softer than clouds. Hongjoong unshouldered his bag, and sat at his large mahogany
desk, tall backed swivel chair giving him a true look of a therapist. He gave him an expectant look.

Taking a deep breath, he let it out, then just spoke the words that had been playing in his mind
since Yeosang talked about dramas. “I think I’m gay.”

As expected, which is why he didn’t feel nervous at all, Hongjoong didn’t look phased at all and
nodded slowly. “This is new?”

He nodded. “It’s pretty recent.’

Pursing his lips, he crossed his arms over his chest. “You seem pretty sure.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly gotten the chance to act on it, but I definitely want to act on it.” He
laughed awkwardly, mind shifting to an almost naked Yeosang.

Another nod. “So not bisexual, full on gay?”

That threw him a bit. “Oh, I didn’t think about that.” He didn’t need long to think it over. “No,
pretty sure I'm just gay.”

Hongjoong nodded, seeming content with his statement. “It honestly makes a lot of sense.”

San nodded, looking excited at the seemingly second opinion matching his own. “I know right?! I
mean I always chose girls who weren’t interested in sex or much physical contact. Plus, I think I
was too busy distancing myself to even give myself the chance to really figure out myself, let alone
my sexuality.”

At that, his friend gave him an impressed look. “You’ve really thought this through. When did you
figure this all out?”

“Yesterday.” He smiled.

For the first time in a long time, Hongjoong’s mouth opened in surprise. Taking a deep breath,
collecting himself, he actually laughed. “You are the strangest man I have ever met.”

San smiled awkwardly, feeling like he was getting a little bit of mixed signals. “Why is that?”

“Most men would not have found it that easy to accept something like that so quickly, let alone to
go around and start coming out the day after.” He gave him another rare smile. “It’s quite inspiring,
actually.”

“Oh.” He was taken aback by his friend’s words.

Hongjoong watched him for a moment. “Who is he?”

San blushed. “You know me that well?” He only shrugged. Thinking of Yeosang caused a sweet
smile to replace his nervous one. “It’s Yeosang.”

Surprise flashed, but was quickly controlled. “Okay. Is it only Yeosang?”

He frowned. “What do you mean ‘only’?”

“Are you attracted to any other guys?” Hongjoong was asking questions he had yet to ask himself.
 Thinking for a long time, the only other person that came to his mind was Wooyoung. He wasn’t
sure if he actually found him attractive, or only knew he was attractive in the way you know when
anyone is attractive, sexually or not. It hadn’t taken long, especially during lunch, to see a kindred
spirit in him. While San hadn’t said anything, and probably wouldn’t anytime soon, he knew that
he and Wooyoung were in the same boat.

He would bet his life that Wooyoung was also interested in Yeosang.

That all being said, he had recognized that the boy was attractive. While there was a bit of jealousy
playing in his chest, he had noticed the fear in his eyes. Unfortunately, San had less fear than him,
which meant he had a better chance of confessing before him. Wooyoung still cared about what
other people thought, while San had lived for so long pretending other people didn’t even exist.

San felt bad for the kid.

Returning to the present, he shrugged. “I don’t know. Right now, guy or girl, it’s only Yeosang.”
San laughed awkwardly, shrugging. “I guess I’ll figure out more about it the more I live knowing
it.”

Hongjoong nodded. “Are you going to start coming out to everyone?”

He laughed. “I think I’m stopping at you for now.” His friend nodded, understanding. “I want to
see where things go with Yeosang before I commit to coming out. Don’t get me wrong, I will
whether it works out or not, but I don’t want to do something that will draw more attention to him
when he’s not ready.”

“Is he as serious about you, as you are about him?”

That makes him laugh awkwardly, raising a hand to scratch the back of his head. “Actually, I have
not confessed to him yet.” Hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been flirting very heavily, but he’s
someone who needs time. If he’s gay or not, I’m not fully sure, but I’m not in a rush to force him
into anything. Even as simple as having to listen to my confession.”

Hongjoong watched him for a long time. “You already seem way happier than you ever were.”

“Thank you. I am.”

“I hope things work out for you.”

San took a deep breath, giving him a nervous look. “Yeah, me too.”

Chapter End Notes

Yes. I know, I made San like this on purpose. I have two repressed boys and it's more
fun to have a character like San around, even if he is a bit crazy.

I love him.

Hope everyone enjoys this update!

 A Talk
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Wooyoung hated San.

Not because he was a dick, or because he was so obviously flirting with Yeosang, though he didn’t
like that, but because he seemed so unafraid. Without any worry of his self image, or if people saw,
he openly flirted with Yeosang. Weeks were going by, and while his jealousy was still an ugly
twisting knife in his stomach, he watched with a morbid sense of awe as San smiled at Yeosang,
touched his hair, played with his fingers.

He knew Yeosang well enough to see that he was sometimes uncomfortable, but what stopped him
from intervening was he could sometimes see the blush as he made fun of San, or the way his eyes
would get a little heavy when San played with his hair, or when Yeosang was the one to reach out
almost absentmindedly to poke San’s cheek or reach for him to make him move closer. These
would all be simple things, if it weren’t for how well he knew Yeosang. It’s just that he never did
those things. Something about San was making the boy he loved look more open and free.

Painfully for Wooyoung, he was looking happier.

What kind of person, friend, would he be to add frustration and complication to Yeosang’s life by
acting on his jealous compulsions. Of course he wanted to push San away, hit him, insult him, but
he couldn’t. He’s found many things to be jealous about San for, his flirting and closeness with
Yeosang, but the biggest thing that he found to twist the knife deeper, is that he was so confident.
Wooyoung had thought he would be the only person to see Yeosang in his fullness, to have all his
focus on that one person, but he’s found his match in San.

It seemed for both of them, Yeosang was the only person that mattered.

To make matters worse, San always included him. He was always making sure that Wooyoung was
a part of the conversation, to ask him questions about himself, to give him his undivided attention
when Wooyoung spoke. Even he had become weak to the intoxicating confidence and seemingly
unflappable joy that radiated from him. There came a point where the knife untwisted a bit,
because he realized, if he couldn’t have the drive to be that open and honest with the world, did he
really deserve Yeosang?

He didn’t deserve someone who was too afraid of the world to love him openly.

The end of school Friday came around, and as usual, when he walked over to Yeosang’s locker San
was already leaning beside him, smile wide and laughter loud. Walking up, Wooyoung didn’t have
a moment before San was throwing an arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer. He was
forced to take in his warm smell, of dark cologne and masculinity. Inside, he grumbled, because he
smelled nice, and he begrudgingly had become used to his touchiness.

“We should all hang out tonight.” San looked down at him expectantly.

Yeosang was the one to turn him down. “I have work.”

He pouted, not seeming to notice the awkward boy under his arm. “Do you work all weekend?”

Wooyoung watched his face, seeing a small smile curl his lips as he took in the strange scene in
front of him of the two boys. He couldn’t help but smile. Yeosang always seemed to be back and
forth whether he liked having them as friends or not. Sometimes he was happy to hang out and be
around them, but other times it was very obvious that he wanted to run off into a forest alone.

Sighing, as if giving in, Yeosang turned and gave them both a regretful look. “I have Sunday off.”

This even got Wooyoung’s mood up, hearing the offering in his voice. “We should do something.”

Another sigh, looking up at the heavens as if he was going to regret it. “Fine. You guys decide,
because I don’t know what there is to do around here.” He looked over. “Are we inviting Yunho or
Hongjoong?” Mingi was left unsaid in an obvious manner. The boy was being a little bit distant
lately.

Hongjoong didn’t come around much, but the first time he joined them at lunch he mostly stayed
quiet, listening but not always adding much. Him and Yunho shared a lot of looks. Wooyoung
knew the telltale signs of knowledge and understanding being exchanged. It had made him a little
nervous, wondering what all Hongjoong knew. What had he and San talked about?

Mingi on the other hand had seemed to be surprised to find San hanging out with them. In a very
embarrassing confrontation while they were sitting around the tree, he had walked up and asked
San why he was hanging out with Yeosang. That is also when Wooyoung learned that he and
Jangmi had broken up after the incident, causing his suspicions of his attraction to Yeosang to
become confirmed. Apparently ‘we’re friends now’ was not enough to clear the strange confusion
in his eyes, because he had walked off. If San and Mingi have talked since, the boy hasn’t talked
about it and Wooyoung wasn’t going to ask.

San pursed his lips, sharing a look with Wooyoung. “It’ll probably just be us. We could hang out at
your place.” He offered to Yeosang.

The boy grimaced. “Absolutely not. My place is too tiny for all of us. Plus I have nothing there.”
Wooyoung had learned more about this topic since San arrived. Apparently Yeosang was living in
a tiny apartment by himself. It made his heart hurt, but it was not his place to speak about it.

Wooyoung, curious about him, looked over at San, finally extricating himself from his arm. “What
about your place?” He kind of wanted to see where San lived. His eyebrows raised as both San and
Yeosang shared a look that screamed no.

Looking over, Yeosang smiled at him. “Your parents are nice, and you have games and stuff.”

His heart skipped, thinking about having San in his house, with Yeosang, and having to watch him
flirt in his own space. “I don’t know.”

Annoyed, he waved a hand at the two. “Figure it out, because I have work.” He started walking
away.

San raised an eyebrow at Wooyoung. “We could just go somewhere, like karaoke.”

Giving in, knowing Yeosang didn’t have a phone, he called out. “What time do you want to be
picked up?”

“I don’t know. One. Buy me lunch.” He waved at them, and he disappeared into a throng of
people.

San was grumbling beside him. “Food is the only thing he ever lets me buy him.”
Eyes narrowing, Wooyoung looked over at him. “You’re welcome.” He gave him a confused look.
“When we first met, he didn’t talk and he got angry at being offered snacks.”

His eyes brightened with humor, and he leaned against the locker. “So are you the one who also
turned him into a brat? I’ve never met someone so argumentative. I think he’s become used to the
princess treatment you give him. It’s getting to his head.”

There was a strange feeling of words being spoken in the silence, as San’s gaze didn’t break from
him. Wooyoung cleared his throat. “It’s probably both our faults. You’re the one putting him on a
pedestal.”

Smirking, amused, he pushed off the lockers and held out his phone. “Give me your number. I’ll
pick you up and then we can go get him.” San gave him a pointed look.

As always, he was saying things in the silence, and unfortunately, Wooyoung knew what he was
saying, that he knew Wooyoung wanted to know where he lived. How did this boy, who showed
up in their lives a few weeks ago, suddenly seem to know them like he’d been here all along? He
sighed, taking the phone. After putting in his number, he handed it back. "What are you going to do
this weekend?"

He shrugged, putting the phone away. "Probably a lot of nothing. Waiting for Sunday." San gave
him a wistful smile. He sighed, dipping his head toward the door. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

It was at that point that he realized Yeosang had walked home alone. They were too busy, excited
and talking about hanging out, that he had disappeared already. It was overshadowed though by
San offering to walk him home.

"Why?"

The look he received was full of meaning. "Don't you think we should finally talk?"

His stomach lept into his throat. It was one thing to know that they both liked Yeosang, it was
another thing to talk about it out loud. That confident carefree attitude he had begrudgingly grown
envious of was now biting him in the ass. Of all the people who could end up being his rival in this
situation, why did it have to be someone like him?

Wooyoung couldn't even get more than one word out. "Okay."

Nodding, though now looking more serious than he usually did, San led the way out of the school
with a terrified Wooyoung right behind.

~~~

Yeosang hadn’t experienced such happiness and joy in a long time.

It was like watching a nature documentary at first. Like introducing a new wolf into another’s
territory. San made himself right at home, fitting himself into the group as if he’d been there all
along. Yeosang had been nervous about having him around so much, but he couldn’t lie that he
didn’t enjoy having him around. Though his physical comfortability was something that was taking
him some time to get used to, it was like his walls were being worn down, as he started expecting,
and almost wanting the stray touch that would come out of nowhere.

Wooyoung, who was on guard right away those first few days, was seeming to begrudgingly accept
the new addition. Yeosang had felt his stomach twisting a lot those first few days. He had looked
melancholy, watching San with an odd mixture of annoyance and strange envy. The jealousy was
obvious, but it was like a different flavor that kept changing over time. Yeosang was too scared to
actually ask him how he felt. That would mean all the other feelings would have to be talked about
as well.

Yeosang could no longer willfully ignore what was happening amongst them. It had come to an
internal struggle with him when San had started to take the initiative to try getting close to
Wooyoung. The boy had wrapped an arm around him, teasing him and causing his face to turn red,
awkwardness, embarrassment, and shock mixing on his face in an amusing way. Yeosang had felt
like his heart was in the clouds, and he realized that all he wanted was for them to like each other.
He wondered if San had done it without thinking, or if he had done it for Yeosang.

He finally realized that they didn’t just care about him, it was much more than that.

It became obvious the day San had walked him home. The way he had flirted and smiled, brushing
his hand as they walked, holding it when they finally stood in his doorway. It was like finally
being able to see through a long fogged window. San made sense to him at that moment.
Everything felt like it made sense suddenly, and he honestly felt embarrassed to have been so dumb
for so long.

Then, when he had left, and he struggled to deal with it, his mind wandered to Wooyoung and
another puzzle piece fell into place. He had sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands as he
thought about the similar way San and Wooyoung both looked at him. The special treatment he
received from them that Yunho teased him about made his face burn red. Why was this happening
to him? Two boys, who were both amazing in their own ways, had decided to complicate his life
even more by liking him at the same time.

What was he meant to do? Did he like them back? He cared deeply about them, the two were the
most important people in his life. Yeosang couldn’t handle it all at once, though, feeling like his
heart and mind were going to explode with overstimulation. He just wanted his life to be easy and
happy. They already made him happy, why couldn’t they make it easy as well?

So he had kept it all to himself, feelings kept in that dark box hidden deep. His walls were
becoming so weak, so thin, the more he spent time with them. They were becoming people who
meant everything to him, and he was afraid a confrontation of feelings was going to bring
everything crumbling down in a painful way. He had already lost the most important person in his
life once, he couldn’t do it again.

He couldn’t be left alone again.

~~~

In the space of a few weeks, San had learned a lot about himself.

First thing he noticed was that he was terribly touch-starved. Of course, most of that want to touch
and be touched was focused on Yeosang. At first. He found himself unable to stop himself from
absently playing with his fingers when they were close enough, or fixing his hair just to have a
reason to run his fingers through it. There was an addiction growing inside him, addicted to the
feeling of his smooth skin and fluffy hair, and the soft looking lips that drew his attention
whenever he pouted or spoke.

Admittingly, he was still struggling to know when it was okay and when it wasn't. Sometimes he
would pick up his hand while they were sitting together by the tree, other people around, and
everyone would stop and stare while his gaze was too focused on the pretty hand in his. Yeosang
would gently pull his hand away, and when he looked up, his face would be beet red and the others
would have raised eyebrows. Sometimes Wooyoung would look at him with a combination of
longing and jealousy.

Other times, like the one time he had walked him all the way home, much to Yeosang’s annoyance,
he had playfully held his hand while teasing him. His eyes wouldn't look into San's face, but he let
his hand be held, face so pink it looked like a blooming peony. How could the most beautiful
flower he had ever seen live and breathe in front of him, threatening to outshine the rest of the
world?

It was in that moment, standing in the doorway, that he knew Yeosang was aware. He knew they
were both holding back, for different reasons. Unlike with Wooyoung, who seemed scared of
rejection or scorn, maybe both, Yeosang seemed uncertain. He could understand that, and while
San’s actions were hard to control and anyone close enough with a brain could see his affection, he
kept the words to himself. There was no need to rush him. When the time came, he would be ready
to accept whatever happened between them.

The second thing he had realized was that his affection was easily overflowed to someone else.
Wooyoung was a confusing addition to his already overly stimulated experience of finding himself.
That feeling of kindredness because of their shared feelings of Yeosang, had added on both their
obviously desperate need for affection themselves. His looks of jealousy, that at first seemed to be
because of his closeness to Yeosang, had turned to envy and hunger when watching them.

Maybe he was thinking too deeply about it all, but the look of longing in his eyes had lost its fire,
its anger. In the first few days he had felt it was fun fighting for Yeosang’s attention, but as San
was not afraid to push the boundaries, Wooyoung seemed to fall behind as he held back. He could
only assume that it had been the norm even before he arrived.

In recent days, San was beginning to grow guilty again. While in love, he didn't think there was
any viable argument in who was there first, he saw that his brazenness was giving him a huge
advantage of breaking down Yeosang’s walls. If this was a game, San was the one winning. He
didn't like that feeling.

So he had started making sure Wooyoung was a part of his given affection. He wasn't sure if it was
romantic in the same way it was with Yeosang, but just like with him, it was a thrill to see
Wooyoung’s blush and awkward faces when he would throw an arm over his shoulder. He started
asking questions, pulling him into conversation, even making sure he sat with him and Yeosang
whenever they went to lunch.

He wasn't sure where it was all headed, but instead of feeling threatened by his obvious love for
Yeosang, he felt almost happy that Yeosang had more love and affection than he could sometimes
handle. As someone who understood being alone, to him it seemed to only be a positive.

Which is why he wanted to talk one on one with Wooyoung. Maybe the way he thought was
strange, but he felt like they should be a team instead of rivals. They both obviously wanted
Yeosang to be happy, so why did that mean they had to hate each other? That made no sense to
him.

They were already guys interested in a guy, so why would they have to continue to follow the
expectations of society when they had already begun breaking its most basic rule?

So here they were, awkwardly walking in silence off campus. Wooyoung looked kind of scared,
which kind of hurt San's feelings, but he let it slide. The boy was obviously on a different level of
self acceptance than he was, so he was sure speaking about this elephant in the room was a
terrifying thing.
Eventually the school was blocks away, and San finally looked over. "How are you?"

Wooyoung gave him a confused look, before rolling his eyes. "That’s not what I was expecting."

Smiling, he nodded. "Fine. Do you hate me?"

He looked over, squinting as if trying to see him better. Then he sighed, shaking his head. "No."
Wooyoung laughed without humor. "I wish I did. It wouldn't hurt so much. I wouldn't feel so
useless."

San understood what he meant. "I don't feel any of that."

Wooyoung snorted. "Wow, lucky you."

He smiled, unperturbed. After a moment of silence, he decided to dive in head first. "Do you only
want him for yourself?" He watched his face.

As expected, the confusion morphed and he looked at San as if he were an alien. "What are you
even expecting in response to that?"

Smiling, as if he knew something he didn't, he shrugged. "I think that Yeosang deserves all the
love in the world. Can you give him all that? Just you?"

His face fell, looking at him like he had just stabbed him. San wasn't surprised when he grew
defensive. "And you think you can?"

San shook his head. "No." Wooyoung was taken aback, anger fading in surprise. San smiled sadly.
"I think me and you together could get pretty close to it though."

"What?" It was amusing the way he said it like he had spoken a different language.

Taking a deep breath, he turned to face the direction they were walking. "I might be able to
recognize that I'm falling for him, and show it without fear, but you know him so much better than
I do. I see the way you can almost predict his thoughts and feelings better than he can. It makes me
feel lacking."

When he looked over, to show him his honesty, Wooyoung was watching him. He looked
perplexed. "I guess I didn't expect you to have anything but confidence."

"I'm confident in how I feel about him, but not necessarily that I'm perfect for him."

He nodded, chuckling softly. "I know him better than myself, but have issues voicing my feelings.
You can't keep your hands and eyes off him, but haven't known him long enough. Aren't we a
pair?" Wooyoung rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of it all.

San smiled. "We could be."

He almost tripped over himself. Wooyoung gave him a confused look. "Excuse me?"

While he knew his way of thinking might be crazy, he felt pretty confident in it. "Yeosang needs
your patience and understanding, that I lack. I also think he, and myself if I'm being honest, needs
the affection that I happily give without needing it in return."

"What are you proposing exactly? That we share him?" Wooyoung looked away, angry at the
thought.
San rolled his eyes. "There is no sharing a person. We love him, we let each other love him, and
we treat each other with compassion and respect while we do it.'

"You sound fucking insane." Wooyoung ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "That's not normal.
People don't do that. People don’t want someone else to love the person they love, not in the way
you’re saying."

He laughed, amused by his reaction. "Fuck normal. We're gay. Society has already decided we
aren't normal. Might as well lean into it."

Wooyoung’s eyes shifted away when he said the words out loud. The silence settled between them
as San watched many emotions flit across his face. "You say it so easily." His words were soft,
scared. "That you're…" He couldn't seem to say it.

Giving him his full attention, he gave him a sad look. “Is it that scary to you?”

Swallowing dryly, he didn’t say anything for a moment, looking around like some pitchfork
holding person was going to appear and attack them. “I’ve only ever told Yunho.” His words were
light, barely audible.

San watched fear, that had become a staple on this poor boy’s face, contort his features. "The only
thing stopping me from telling everyone is that besides those close to us, no one is questioning
Yeosang about the way I treat him. I struggle to hold back because I become overwhelmed with my
feelings for him, but I don't want to add anymore stress on him when he's already so obviously
struggling." He gives him a sad look, letting the subject switch back to their main topic. "I feel like
he knows how we feel though. Well, me especially. I’ve made it too obvious."

He swallowed, nodding, seeming to be happy to move the attention off himself. "Me too."
Wooyoung sighed. "When it comes down to it, and it all comes out, what happens if he chooses
one over the other? Or neither of us?"

San felt pretty confident in his answer. "Then let's hope we can all still be friends. I'm not giving
him up, and I hope he feels the same. Whether that's as friends or anything else. Maybe he'll pick
both of us."

"The way you think is so strange." Wooyoung laughed, but he seemed to feel better by what he
said. "Yeosang isn't the type to even think he could choose both. He'd rather choose neither than
make a choice." His voice grew soft. "Even I don't know if I could agree to that."

Lips thinning, San shrugged. "Well, it's not like either of you are at the point to confess or accept
confession, so we've all got time to figure shit out."

Wooyoung looked over, jealous of the sense of enlightenment and peace this insane person seemed
to possess. "What do you want? Like straight forward, no poetics, no philosophy.”

What did he want? He wanted to continue living in this new sense of self he's found. San wanted to
keep doing this adventure of self discovery, and he wanted to do it with Yeosang in his life. He
smiled. "I want to be happy."

The boy looked surprised at the response. "That's pretty loaded."

"Yup." He laughed. "I feel like what that means changes everyday. Yeosang is a constant though,
which means you are too at this point."

He rolled his eyes, but his face was pink. "I said no poetics."
"Can't help it. This is me now." San gave him a look of epiphany. "What if I become a writer!?"

"Good lord." He laughed, unable to hold it back.

In front of them was his house, and San looked up at it. It was smaller than his, but seemed more
comfortable for it. "Well, I feel like we worked through a lot today."

"Felt more like you worked through a lot and made decisions for the rest of us." Wooyoung
grumbled.

San reached out, ignoring the look of awkwardness and wrapped an arm around his shoulders,
giving him a side hug. "See you Sunday. I'll pick you up at twelve thirty."

~~~

Wooyoung walked into his house and closed the door behind him.

Closing his eyes, he let out a long, emotionally drained, breath. What the hell had just happened?
His head was spinning because of all the crazy things San had said. Out of all the things he had
said, him easily saying he was gay was actually the thing that stuck with him most.

He hadn’t looked around to see if anyone was looking. He didn’t lower his voice. San didn’t act
like it was anything more than a fact of life. It was the most enviable thing Wooyoung had ever
heard. His heart twisted with jealousy imagining how amazing it must feel to say such a thing
without an ounce of fear, or self hatred, or question. Did he even realize what a superhuman ability
that looked like to someone like Woyooung?

Wooyoung felt like crying. He wanted that so bad. He wanted to borrow just an ounce of San’s self
confidence to know what it felt like to not be afraid. It was like he was an alien, how did someone
like him even exist? That boy would end up getting everything he wanted, because how could he
not? It was like he had already read the threads of fate and was just along for the ride, knowing
everything would go his way.

When it came to Yeosang, no matter what anyone said to him, he felt he was no match for San.
How could he not accept this strange offer of partners instead of rivals in love? There was no future
in his mind where Yeosang ever chose him over a boy who was not afraid of the world. San would
fight the world for him, he would love Yeosang so fully others would envy him, he would do
everything in his willpower to give Yeosang the world.

Regrettably, Wooyoung was confident San could achieve it.

Eyes finally opening, accepting his lot in life for the moment, Wooyoung made his way up the
stairs to his room. He threw down his backpack and stripped off his sweater and climbed into his
bed. Burrowing under his blankets, he hid away from the world as best he could. Unfortunately, in
the silence of his room, there was no way to clear his thoughts.

Until his phone dinged.

Sighing, he opened his phone.

Unknown: its san

Unknown: dont forget to save my number with a cute nickname

He rolled his eyes, unable to stop the smile from curling his lips as he added his contact.
Chapter End Notes

I do apologize for the sped up time jump, I just couldn't bring myself to write the little
things in between the escalation parts. Plus, by this point I was already losing steam,
and I didn't wanna lose all that progress...

I usually hit my max at 50k words before I start to lose interest lol, and plot bunnies
were hitting, so I hope the beginning of this chapter is still cohesive and interesting.
 The Amusement Park
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

in-San-e: wear something cute, but warm, plans have changed

Wooyoung looked at the text the next morning, feeling apprehensive at the unknown. What could
this insane person have come up with? Doing it anyway, he walked to his closet and stared at all
the things he had. Thinking about it, he envied Yeosang a tiny bit for a moment. At least when you
had fewer choices, decisions were easier to make, right?

Like if it were only San, he wouldn’t have to choose between him or Wooyoung.

Shaking his head, trying to clear his mind of those thoughts. San had shown just how much his
love and compassion surpassed that of a normal seventeen year old kid, and here Wooyoung was
still allowing these stupid, self deprecating thoughts. That insane boy had gone out of his way to
bring them on the same level for Yeosang, and whether it was on purpose or not, he had tried to
make sure Wooyoung knew that he mattered just as much.

He felt like he wanted to cry, and scream, and go back to bed to sleep for eight more hours. Instead,
he walked into his closet and picked some comfortable jeans and a particular favorite dark red
sweater. Then he spent far too long on his hair and making sure it was perfect. Ugh, why did it feel
like a date? With Yeosang… and San. What even was his life?

They had hung outside of school before, but it was always to get food. They’d never actually done
something like this. Yeosang was always having to work, or study, and generally just wasn’t the
type of person to be interested. Wooyoung thought it might be the money aspect entailed in ‘doing
things’. Like an unsaid fact, they all by this point knew that he was alone, and that he didn’t work
because he wanted to, but because he had to.

It was strange, how even Yunho had in passing to Wooyoung, had made the implication that he
didn’t have any parents around. He wasn’t sure if he had thought they were dead, or was aware of
the extreme truth in that, but he knew Yeosang was on his own. There still had never been a point
where his father had come up, he only let slip things about his mom, and while no one in the group
had mentioned him, there was a curiosity in Wooyoung. Mostly his overbearing desire to know
Yeosang, in and out.

Mind having grown distracted as he was fixing his already perfect hair for the millionth time, he
almost didn’t hear his phone ding. The text from San saying he had arrived made his already
twisting stomach plummet. Clearing his throat, turning and giving one last look at himself in the
mirror, he grabbed his things and walked downstairs.

His mother was in the kitchen, skillet just warming up on the stove. She looked up, smiling. “I was
just about to start making something for lunch for you and your…” Her words trailed off, taking in
his clothes and the awkward way he paused having been caught on his way out. A hand found her
hip, eyebrows raising in curiosity. “And where are you going all dressed up like that?”

Looking down at himself, feeling heat rise in his face, he shrugged. “It’s just a sweater, and I’m
hanging with some friends.”

She didn’t seem convinced, looking him over. “Your favorite sweater.” Her knowing, accusing
eyes made his face hotter. “So what’s the plan?”

Frustrated that this was taking so long, he was honest without thinking, as he usually never lied to
his parents anyway, taking steps away from her. “I don’t know yet. It’s a surprise. My friend is
here already. Bye, mom.”

Wrong thing to say, because as he turned to walk toward the door, he saw her walking after him.
He looked up to the heavens, praying for interference, but as he reached the door and looked
behind him, her curious face was watching over crossed arms. Wooyoung, hand on the doorknob,
turned and gave her an expectant look.

Seeming to have permission to mom, she smiled knowingly. “Who’s the friend?”

“His name is San.”

He grew confused by seeing her own confusion. “Oh. Not Yeosang?”

Eyebrow raised, he cocked his head to the side, giving her a searching look. “Uh, we’re going to be
picking him up in a few minutes, so if you could please…” He opened the door, giving her a
pointed look.

She waved him out the door, but when he tried to close it behind him, she held it, watching with a
look that said her curiosity was stronger than his need to hide. Huffing, he walked down the steps
to a very nice and expensive looking, waiting car. He could feel her eyes on his back, and he was
thankful the windows were slightly tinted.

Unfortunately, when he got close, he realized the only person he saw in the car was the person
behind the driver’s wheel. Frowning, he opened the passenger door and leaned in, ready to
question but his words got stuck as he saw San. His hair was styled back, showing off his high
cheekbones and expressive eyes. The shirt he was wearing, because where the hell was his jacket,
was a tight, long sleeve that had no need to look like it was painted on.

Okay, so Wooyoung was aware that San was very, heavy on the very, attractive.

Collecting himself, he cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at him. “San, why are you
driving?”

The smile he had been wearing weakened, and he frowned. “What do you mean?” His eyes
widened a bit, taking Wooyoung in. “Wow, you look really cute.”

Frowning at his compliment, he sighed. “You’re seventeen.”

He nodded, confused. “Uh huh.”

Wooyoung felt like he was going to explode as he took a deep breath. “Which means you don’t
have a driver's license yet. Who’s car is this?!”

Laughing, he patted the wheel. “It’s fine. It’s my mom’s car and I’m an amazing driver.”

“An amazin-” He lost his words, incredulous frustration rose in his chest. “What if we get pulled
over or-”

Cutting him off, he leaned over to look past him. “Hi, Mrs. Jung.” Looking back, he could see his
mom had already progressed to the bottom of the steps, looking like she was wanting to be nosy.
She waved, smile broadening. His eyes turned back to San, who gave him a sly smile. “It looks
like she wants to come say hi. Who knows what I might say if she comes ov-”

He stopped talking, smirking as Wooyoung finally climbed into the car, shutting the door with a
frustrated noise. "I hate you. This is dangerous, San."

"I'm a perfect driver." He sounded easily confident, as always, as he pulled off.

Wooyoung glanced over, seeing the way that shirt hugged his arms and chest. He had to turn away,
mind fogging a bit. "Your mom lets you drive her car?"

"She won't even notice it's missing." His words were dry.

Of course, his anger turned his head to glare at him. "You really are insane."

He shrugged. "It would've been so awkward to have to get a bunch of taxis or a driver. I didn't want
Yeosang to have to deal with all that." San looked over, looking him up and down, a strange look
on his face. “You clean up pretty nice. Nice jeans.”

Wooyoung grumbled, but settled down, anxiety still doing somersaults in his stomach, joined by
the strange way his heart fluttered at his words. "You're insane." He repeated it, but it had lost
some of its bite, a mix of emotions from the licenseless driver giving him compliments.

The smile he received annoyed him even more. "Speaking of accidents, you're gonna need to sit up
front after we pick him up."

He frowned. "Don't you want to sit next to him." Wooyoung’s tone was a little mocking.

San, as unphased as always, nodded. "If he's up here all I'm going to think about is how bad I
wanna hold his hand, and then my mind will get distracted and either we'll wreck or I'll actually
hold his hand and then he gets awkward and I get awkward and then we wreck because it's
awkward."

Taking all of that in with his mouth hanging open, he took a deep breath, and sighed. "You know,
after that conversation Friday, I knew your goal was to be kinder to each other, but I didn't think I
would have to deal with your unfiltered thoughts."

Giving him a pleased smile, he reached out and grabbed his leg, shaking it slightly. "Too late,
we're best friends now and we're in this together."

Wooyoung looked down to where he was touching his leg, face feeling kind of hot. San seemed to
take notice, and in a rare moment of embarrassment, blushed and pulled his hand back. They both
turned to look out their respective windows, the awkward tension in the car rising. He couldn't
believe he was hanging out with San.

The car was silent for a couple minutes until Wooyoung asked a burning question. "So, you were
dating Jangmi while knowing you were gay? Not to judge too much, but you don't seem the type to
do something like that."

"Oh." He looked over, giving him a shrug. "I didn't realize I was gay till after we broke up."

He barked out a laugh. "She made you confront your homosexuality?"

"No, Yeosang did."

Wooyoung’s laughter died in his throat, and he swallowed dryly. "So, meeting him really did
change everything for you."

Seeming not to notice his drop in mood, San beamed. "Yeah, kinda. He made me look at myself
and really try to understand who I was and wanted to be." He snorted. "Still figuring it all out if I'm
honest."

No wonder he was so obsessed with him. Meeting Yeosang was some kind of soul changing
experience for him. Wooyoung fell slowly and deeply, but the way San talked about it was like it
was an explosion for him. Like what Wooyoung imagined meeting your soul mate would be like.

He wanted to cry.

Instead, he turned his face out the mirror and didn't talk for the rest of the drive. If San noticed, he
didn't say anything else. Maybe he could sense the mood shift. Either way, Wooyoung was glad for
the momentary silence.

~~~

San felt like he had said something to upset Wooyoung, but he wasn't sure what it was that made
him grow quiet. He already felt that overnight they had become more comfortable with each other,
but maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see. In his comfortability he had grabbed his leg,
without thinking, and he had seen the look on his face and couldn't help but internally kick himself.

He was different, and yet kind of similar to Yeosang. They both were a little weird about the
physical stuff. San had noticed that he and Yunho also weren't that physical with each other even in
their friendship. While he was kinda used to that, Hongjoong preferred not to be touched and he
himself hadn't been that open to it before, now it felt like it was becoming natural to him.

If Yeosang and Wooyoung were to end up together, what would the physical part of their
relationship be like? He had seen them share little touches, usually it was accompanied with a look,
as if communicating silently, but not like how San was. Was Wooyoung’s fear of being outed part
of why he was so averse to touch?

Against his will, his mind brought forth an image of Yeosang and Wooyoung kissing, and
embarrassed heat rose to his face as more heat headed south. He swallowed, not feeling jealous, but
instead a strange sense of arousal at the thought. Shaking himself mentally, he forced himself to
focus on the road, trying to ignore that confusion at the moment. That was not something he
needed to deal with right then, but he glanced over, taking in the curve of Wooyoung’s lips.

He swallowed, averting his eyes.

It wasn't much longer until they were pulling up outside of Yeosang’s apartment complex. He
looked over, seeing Wooyoung’s calm face as he looked out the window at it. San grabbed his
jacket from the back, opened his door, bringing him out of it, and walked around the car as the
other boy did the same.

San led the way through the place, having been here multiple times before. Wooyoung took in the
space, the chipped paint walls and broken numbers on doors. His face took on a look of sadness as
they walked through.

"I wish he didn't have to be here alone." He said softly, looking over at San.

Feeling a little defensive of Yeosang, he gave him a serious look, while still trying to keep some
warmth in it, understanding that Wooyoung cared about him. "Our pity doesn't help him."
Collecting himself, he gave San a rare, understanding and slightly apologetic, smile in return. "I
know."

When they made it to the door Wooyoung had seemed to have calmed his emotions, and his face
was settled. San reached out and knocked on the door, finding it cute how the boy began to look
nervous. "Are you shaking?" His eyes fell to his hands that held his phone.

He glared up at him. "Shut up."

San smirked, but didn't say anything else.

When Yeosang answered the door. He was in a t-shirt and shorts, hair messy, and looking like he
had just rolled out of bed. His eyes widened, seeing the two of them, then realization hit. "I totally
forgot we were hanging out today."

Laughing, San reached out and fluffed his hair some more. "Wow, you forget us that easily?"

He frowned. "It was a two second conversation. I'm used to having my weekend to myself." The
boy grumbled, but stepped back and opened the door for them to enter.

Yeosang looked a little anxious, eyes flitting to Wooyoung and around his apartment. San knew he
might feel slightly embarrassed, especially having been very vague about it for so long.
Wooyoung’s face only showed curiosity as he walked in and looked around at the sparse, small
room.

"Hurry up and get dressed. Wear something warm." San moved over and dropped down on the
bed, making himself at home. He leaned back, watching Yeosang grumble as he collected clothes,
and Wooyoung stood awkwardly to the side, eyes flitting between them both.

After collecting some things, Yeosang disappeared into the bathroom, leaving his clothes on top of
the dresser. The two boys stayed silent for a moment before San looked over at Wooyoung,
realizing something. Getting up, he grabbed the clothes and knocked on the door. "Take your stuff
in there. We don't need another show."

The door opened quickly and Yeosang’s beet red face glared at him, snatching the clothes out of
his hands before disappearing again.

Amused, he turned to sit back down, looking up at Wooyoung who looked like many things were
going through his head. "A show?"

He shrugged. "I think he's too used to being alone. When I gave him a haircut that time, he
showered and came out and changed as if I wasn't here."

Wooyoung tried to hide the jealous look with judgment. "I'm sure you enjoyed that."

Wistfully smiling, he shrugged. "I didn't let myself see anything super exciting. Cute butt though."
Wooyoung's face was turning red. He couldn't help but laugh. "Should I have let him come out so
you could see?"

His eyes narrowed as he glared. "You're a pervert."

San shrugged. The other boy wasn't looking at him, trying to keep his eyes away, but as he
watched, and the face continued to burn, his eyes dropped to his waist. He saw it. The slight
growing bulge was too obvious in his tight pants.
Biting his lip, his eyes drifted across and noticed the way the jeans hugged his thighs. San bit
down harder, trying to keep his mind focused. "What are you thinking about Wooyoung?"

Not needing any second to think through his words with the suggestive way he said them,
Wooyoung’s eyes shot to catch with San's. He turned around, ignored the amused laughter coming
from the other boy. It was great, watching him stare at the wall to hide his shame.

"Someone's a little pent up, huh?"

"Will you shut the fuck up." His tone was filled with anger and embarrassment, but he did not turn
around.

San stayed silent this time, not able to stop smiling because it was indeed funny. He wondered if
Yeosang even had thoughts like that. Did the boy he so desperately wanted ever have those
intrusive thoughts when San touched him? His stomach burned with hope that he did.

Eventually Wooyoung seemed to settle down, because he turned and moved to sit on the stool. His
eyes moved to San against his will to find him already watching him. The boy rolled his eyes,
shifting his gaze away. "I don't like you."

He laughed. "That's okay, I like you. If I'd known you would be this fun to tease I would've
confronted you far sooner."

The boy muttered something under his breath, but stayed silent until Yeosang finally appeared.

Apparently the tension in the air must be obvious, because when he opened the door and walked
out, he gave them a nervous look. His hair was damp and he was fully clothed, thankfully. Moving
over to his dresser, he pulled some socks out and went to grab his shoes.

"Have you guys been arguing?"

San laughed softly. "We've been out here bonding over our shared interests."

The boy sent him a death glare, and Yeosang gave a distrustful look between them. "If you guys
can't play nice today, you can just leave now."

"I always play nice." His sly grin caused both of them to roll their eyes. San took it in stride, only
so happy to have his meaning fully understood.

Yeosang pulled on his shoes, moving over to collect his sweater, pulling it over his head. "So what
exactly did you guys decide on?"

Wooyoung huffed. "We didn't decide anything, and San hasn't said."

Not that you've even asked. Mind too stuck in the gutter to think about anything else.

San kept his thoughts to himself though. "You'll see when we get there." He beamed, excitement
obvious on his face.

Yeosang and Wooyoung shared an apprehensive look before following him out the door.

~~~

Yeosang was thankful that he ended up in the backseat.

He had expected San to try to force him up front with him, but when he had gone straight to the
back door neither boy said anything. Climbing in, he watched as the two up front sat next to each
other, seeming far more casual than it usually was. San reached out to put on some music, and
Wooyoung slapped his hand away, taking the aux cord for himself, causing San to grumble
playfully.

Then he finally realized that San was driving, and he narrowed his eyes. "Why are you driving?"

Wooyoung waved a hand. "Don't even bother trying to argue with him. The fool doesn't listen to
reason."

"I'm a good driver!" He exclaimed.

The other glared back. "With no license." San went to argue more and Wooyoung talked over him.
"Shut up and drive." Mouth closing in a petulant look, he did just that.

Yeosang couldn't help but smile. They seemed far more comfortable with each other than normal.
Maybe Wooyoung had finally accepted that San wasn't going anywhere. There was a warm feeling
in his chest, and the smile played on his lips for a long while.

Eventually though, he started to worry a bit as the drive hit the hour mark. Even Wooyoung was
glancing over at San with distrust. Where were they going that they needed to drive for so long?

"San." He offered it out, heavy with unsaid words.

"We're almost there. Just trust me." His eyes found him in the rear view mirror, alight with
excitement.

Yeosang sighed, sharing a look with Wooyoung before letting it go and looking out the window. "I
haven't eaten yet." He said casually.

"We'll eat there." Was the immediate response.

Sigh.

Another ten minutes passed, the city having been left behind for a bit, when his eyes caught sight
of tall contraptions in the distance. Tall wooden and metal death traps appearing over the tops of
trees like giants reaching for the sky. His stomach was suddenly a mess of excitement and anxiety.

“Is that… Are we going to an amusement park?” He asked, sitting up and leaning between the two
front seats to look through the front window better.

San was nearly bouncing in his seat in excitement. “Yes we are!” He looked over at the surprised
boys.

Yeosang felt his heart stutter as more of the park appeared as they grew closer. “I’ve never been to
an amusement park before.” His words were soft.

Looking over, San’s beaming smile could have blinded them. “Me neither.”

“Really?” Wooyoung looked over, looking surprised. “Your parents never took you to an
amusement park?”

He shook his head, smile weakening a bit. “They aren’t amusement park type people.”

Understanding his family life, Yeosang looked at him, and gave him a warm smile. “It’ll be more
fun with us anyway.”
The boy nodded. “That means today, not a single word about me paying for everything.”

Yeosang narrowed his eyes, as if caught in a trap. “San.”

“Nope!” He shook his head, vehemently denying anything he was going to say. “That includes you
too, Wooyoung. Today was my idea, I planned everything, I’m going to pay.”

“Alright.” He shrugged, seeming perfectly fine with the demand. “Yeosang, don’t ruin all his hard
work with your party pooping morals.”

Kind of taken aback by their sudden team up, he fell back into his seat, crossing his arms over his
chest. He couldn’t help the petulant pout that pushed out his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. The
other two gave him glances, playful sternness on their faces.

Making a noise of frustrated surrender, he huffed. “Whatever. Fine.”

His aversion to people spending money on him was forgotten as they walked through the gates,
rides and buildings towering over him. The noises, the smells, the palpable excitement from the
thousands of people around them. It was an experience he hadn’t even thought of having, yet here
he was, with his two favorite people in the world, walking toward a vendor selling foods he’s
never had before.

“Only eat enough to curb your hunger.” Wooyoung guided them, ordering for them as San and
Yeosang tried to overdo it in excitement. “You don’t want to end up getting sick.” San pulled out a
thick, black card and paid, then they moved over to an area of tables to eat before heading deeper
into the park.

San had only one thing he was focused on, as he led them to the tallest roller coaster in the park.
His own stomach was twisting with nerves watching as it seemed to get taller and taller the closer
they got to it. Wooyoung seemed unbothered, his excitement being a calm experience versus the
two inexperienced boys’ body-shaking excitement.

When they got in line, Yeosang looked up at the seemingly swaying metal tracks above him. “I
don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can do this.” San reached out, rubbing his arms and looking up with him. “Did you see it
when it passed overhead?” Yeosang shook his head, and the boy's warm smile calmed him. “It’s a
three seater. So you’ll sit in between me and Wooyoung, and you can hold our hands, and we’ll be
right there with you.”

Looking over, Wooyoung was watching San, a strange look on his face. There was a warmth in his
eyes for a moment, until he looked over and smiled at Yeosang, nodding. “It’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Sighing, he nodded, smiling nervously. He did trust them.

When they finally got to the front of the line, having waited for nearly forty five minutes, his
stomach was an anxious mess. There was a person there to direct them to a row of seats. They were
a few rows back, and San, always doing too much, helped him strap in and make sure everything
was on right. Wooyoung made comments about how ironic it was that San was being
overprotective when it was his idea in the first place.

Then they were all strapped in, waiting for the moment when they would start moving. Yeosang’s
whole body was shaking, heart knocking in his chest and breath having issues going in and out.
“I’m scared.” He admitted, looking out the front of the little building they had loaded up in, seeing
the tracks lead straight up into the air and disappearing.
First San grabbed his hand, and then Wooyoung. San lifted his hand to his lips, and kissed it.
“We’re right here.” He was too scared to even process the kiss.

Wooyoung squeezed his hand, and smiled at him. “The waiting is scarier than the actual ride.”

Yeosang nodded, trying to control his breathing, squeezing their hands.

With a lurch, the death trap began to slowly move forward. When it left the building and entered
the sunlight, it began to tick tick tick up into the sky, the seemingly vertical track laid out like a
rope ladder. It was so slow, Yeosang felt like his anxiety was rising with each inch they were
slowly climbing.

“Do they make it go slow on purpose to be assholes?” He asked loudly to be heard, anxiety adding
an angry edge to his voice.

Wooyoung laughed, smiling over at him. “Yes, I think so.”

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up.” San’s voice drew their attention, and Yeosang felt some of his
own anxiety lessen as he and Wooyoung couldn’t help but laugh at his suddenly terrified wide
eyes. “I’m an idiot. This was such a bad idea. We should have just gone to karaoke.”

Laughing with unbridled, sudden joy, Wooyoung whooped as the top grew close. “It's too late now.
If we die, we die together.” Both San and Yeosang looked at him in shock, stomachs lifting into
their throats as they reached the top, paused for effect, then fell toward the ground.

Excitement, fear, flying, horror, glee, laughter, skin stretched over facial bones, limbs thrown
around, hands held tightly through it all. It was the definition of experience, and yet his mind also
felt blank the whole time. Yeosang had never felt such thrill in his life, and when they finally came
to a stop, face hurting with his smile, he came back into his body and still those hands held his just
as tightly, with him through it all.

When he got off the ride, he stumbled forward, laughing, sick and joyful at the same time. He
turned, grinning and found those two boys walking behind him, twin looks on their faces. They
were so different. One quiet, for the most part, and calm, the warmth of mutual understanding that
felt like telepathy. The other loud, touchy, and affection personified that made him feel like he was
the only person in the room. The look in their eyes, that warmth and depth of emotions was a four
letter word he was still scared to face, but it was there all the same, and it was directed at him.

At that moment, he became overwhelmed, and he thought he might cry. Instead, he let himself feel
it, and he smiled wider. They were his, whether he wanted them or not. Forever a part of him.

“Let’s go again.”

~~~

They had spent the whole day at the park.

By the time they were piled back into the car, prizes from games won stuffed into the back with
Yeosang, it was already dark. Wooyoung had to message his parents already to let them know he
would be home late, but they didn’t bug him beyond wanting to know where he was. They sat in
the car, talking happily, all feeling tired and sluggish after a day of excitement and constant
moving.

Halfway through the drive, Yeosang slipped into sleep, arms wrapped around a stuffed animal San
had won him. Wooyoung and San fell into comfortable silence so as not to wake him. It was warm,
soft, and amazing. They kept sharing small smiles, Wooyoung snapping a picture of the sleeping
figure in the back.

San had taken a million photos throughout the day. When the conversation thinned out, Wooyoung
picked up his phone, only getting a raised eyebrow in response, not stopping him. He asked for his
password, and San willingly gave it without question. Then he opened his camera roll, and smiled
softly as he scrolled through every picture.

What surprised him was there were just as many photos of him as there were of Yeosang. Sneakily
caught snaps of him leaning and looking at his phone, or smiling at something, and a couple of him
watching Yeosang with a warm look in his eyes. Swallowing, he looked over, speaking softly.

“There’s a lot of photos of me.”

San glanced over, seeing a particular one of him at the petting zoo smiling while petting a llama.
His eyes rose to meet him, and he smiled softly. “You have a pretty smile.”

The boy's eyes shifted back to the road, but Wooyoung was frozen, looking at him with a strange
thickness of emotion in his throat. Every so often a flash of a street light, or the headlights of a car
would illuminate his face, showing him the handsome face alight with a smile and a look of happy
contentment. This boy, this almost man, made his heart flutter and it made him confused.

All day he had caught San watching him, just as much as he had caught him staring at Yeosang.
He was always wearing that warm smile, never faltering even when caught looking. His arm would
wrap around his shoulder when taking pictures together. A hand would rest on his waist when
moving past him, or guiding him to stand with Yeosang. It confused the living hell out of him and
his heart.

He had to look away, putting aside the phone because he no longer could look at what San had
captured. Wooyoung looked out the window, watching the dark shapes of buildings and trees pass
as they entered the city, minutes away from Yeosang’s apartment. A sadness settled in his chest.

Wooyoung didn’t want the day to end.

~~~

San carried an exhausted and grumbling Yeosang up the stairs on his back. Wooyoung led the
way, opening doors for him as they went. They settled the boy into his bed, piling the things they
had won into a corner for him to bother with later. San reached over and set his alarm for him, then
the two boys quietly left him to sleep.

This had been one of the most memorable days of his life. Being with Yeosang, seeing his smile
and his joy, his excitement and wonder. Seeing the boy he loved be as free as he had ever seen him
was a balm on his soul. Everything that he has done, or will ever do, will never be able to outshine
being able to make Yeosang smile like he did today.

Wooyoung. He had always thought of him as attractive, but watching him smile and laugh, and be
alive was something new. His laughter was intoxicating, the way it seemed to pull your own
laughter out with it. That smile, usually so controlled, was stunning when set free.

San found himself watching him just as much as he was watching Yeosang.

The car was silent when they climbed back into it. Wooyoung seemed to have a lot on his mind,
and he wasn’t going to force anything out of him. So he let the silence sit, still feeling the after
effects of the day, his smile constant and his chest warm. He wanted to talk to him, wanted to hear
 his thoughts and feelings, but his mouth stayed shut.

Eventually they pulled up in front of his house.

Wooyoung sighed heavily, looking over and giving him a sad smile. “I don’t want the day to end.”
His eyes reflected the porch lights, and his lips curled up at the edges. “Today was amazing, San.”

In the light, hair falling on his cheekbones, eyelashes long, lips full, San couldn’t help but find him
gorgeous. He felt like he had seen Wooyoung today. Not the nervous, closeted, scared version of
him, but a more honest him. A person who loved to laugh, who played little teasing pranks, who
was way louder than San ever had thought he would be.

He was confused, yet, he was fully aware that Wooyoung had shifted something inside him.

“I don’t want to go home. It all ends if I go home.” He said it with a similarly sad smile, laughing
softly. “If I go home, my mom will ruin it.”

Wooyoung’s smile weakened, and his eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

Shaking his head, he spoke softly. “Forget I even brought her up. Not gonna let her ruin it when
she’s not even here.” San didn’t know if it was the exhaustion or something else that made him let
such a comment slip out.

The boy didn’t move for a moment, head turned and rested on the back of the seat. His eyes never
left San’s, and he could see emotions playing around in his eyes. San only looked back, content to
stare at such a pretty face. He and Yeosang really were similar in many regards, including how
pretty they were.

“San?” His words were soft, a hint of caution in them.

His smile was small, eyes drooping with exhaustion. “Yeah?”

Wooyoung took a moment to speak, looking like he was fighting with himself. San was patient
though, not wanting to leave just yet anyway. He was willing to let the boy draw out a conversation
as long as he wanted. The longer he was here, the longer the heady feelings lasted.

Eventually he spoke.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

Chapter End Notes

ESCALATION!!!

I keep saying that the next chapters are even better, but that's really how a story goes...
These next couple chapters are probably my favorite of them all though. Wooyoung
and San's dichotomy is so fun to write in this.

Hope you all are excited! LOL

 You Kissed Me Back
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Wooyoung felt like his heart was beating out of his chest when he said those words.

There was something in the moment. Tension and confused feelings floated in the space between
them. He had a sudden fear of being left alone. Wooyoung didn’t want San to leave. Neither of
them seemed ready to let the night end, and if they parted ways tonight, it felt like something
would be lost.

So he had asked him to stay.

San looked surprised at the words. His eyes flitted across Wooyoung's face, searching for
something. He could see a multitude of unknown thoughts in his eyes, and he wished he could read
minds in that moment. What was he thinking?

After a moment, swallowing visibly, he nodded. “I would like to stay.”

His whole body was shaking. It made it hard to steady himself, the way his whole body trembled
like he was sick with a fever. Excitement and fear an intoxicating rush of blood in his ears. Without
saying anything else, he nodded, and opened the door, stepping out of the car.

Wooyoung wondered if San could see the way his hands trembled as he struggled to hold the few
things he had collected from the park. One of them was a stuffed dog that San had won for him. He
clutched onto it, trying to hide his trembling hands, and led the way up the stairs, quietly opening
the door.

Without speaking, they moved silently into the dark house. It was just after midnight, not too late,
but late enough that his parents were probably already in bed by the looks of it. He knew what he
was doing would get him scolded tomorrow when they saw the car parked out front, but he also
knew his parents wouldn’t say anything until after San was gone.

Closing his bedroom door behind them, he turned and leaned his back against it, watching San
look around his room with curiosity. He had thought having Yeosang here was nerve wracking, but
this boy had his stomach in his throat as he casually took off his jacket slowly, tossing it over his
desk chair.

San turned, looking at him with matching nerves and caution. They didn’t speak for a long
moment, watching each other as if both were cornered animals. For the first time, he felt that
feeling of telepathy with someone else beside Yeosang. There was an understanding between them
that this night was like a pandora’s box of emotion.

Finally, feeling like he could speak, his voice came out a soft whisper. “Do you want to shower?”

He nodded, no longer smiling, but his eyes never left Wooyoung, the stare so intense that if his
eyes had hands he was sure he would feel them touching him. “I don’t have anything to wear.”
San’s voice matched his whisper.

“I’ll find you something.” Wooyoung motioned to a door to his, thankfully personal, bathroom.
“I’ll put it on the counter.”
There was a long moment where neither moved, eyes still locked together, bodies still trembling
with tension. Then San broke eye contact and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Wooyoung
alone to finally relax. Relax was not exactly that right word, as he let go of his thin control of his
body and he shook uncontrollably as he struggled to get his mind to wrap around the situation.

What were they doing? These weren't friends staying the night with each other. They knew too
much about each other for this to be a simple sleepover. They were confessed boys in love with the
same boy, looking at each other in a way that friends didn’t look at each other. The emotions
creating electricity between them were foreign and confusing, and exciting, and terrifying.

Wooyoung was terrified.

Wooyoung was thrilled.

Wooyoung was going to have a heart attack.

He tried to gain some control back over himself. Moving over to his closet, he grabbed some
sweats, a baggy t-shirt, and some underwear. His hand paused over the underwear, imagining them
wrapped around San’s waist. Swallowing, he grabbed them quickly, trying to put the thought out of
his mind.

Moving toward the bathroom, he paused, took a deep breath, and opened the door. The shower was
on, and he was thankful for his dark shower curtain. He placed the stuff down on the sink counter,
wondering if he should say something. Instead, he pulled open a drawer and grabbed one of his
extra toothbrushes and placed it on top of the clothes. One last look at the curtain, and he retreated.

Wooyoung, to try to keep his hands busy, collected his own things for when San was done. Then
he walked around the room, tidying up and trying to make it more presentable. Biting his cheek, he
made his bed, wondering if they were both going to sleep in it. Together. His neck and face burned
hot, and he had to sit down, berating himself for letting such a stupid thing happen.

When the door opened, Wooyoung jumped slightly, turning to face a wet haired San. His skin was
slightly flushed from the hot water. Wooyoung’s eyes took in him wearing his clothes, and the
nervous smile on his face as he stepped forward, his own clothes in his hands. The unasked
question was directed toward the chair, where he put his clothes.

Wooyoung grabbed his things. “Make yourself at home.” He went to turn, then stopped, giving
him a stern look. “Don’t leave the room.”

He rolled his eyes, laughing quietly. “Obviously.”

Then Wooyoung escaped to the bathroom. It felt amazing to have all the sweat and grossness of the
day washed off of him. Afterwards, standing in front of the fogged window, he saw the new
toothbrush sitting in the holder with his. He stared at it for a long time, lip between his teeth and
heart in his throat.

His mind conjured a third toothbrush with them.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he almost laughed seeing San awkwardly sitting on the edge of his
bed. Moving to dump his clothes into his hamper, he walked to his desk and opened a drawer,
pulling out an extra charger. “Here. Plug it in over there.” He motioned to an outlet next to the side
of the bed he was sitting on.

“Oh, I forgot all about my phone.” He laughed, taking the charger from him. “It’s almost dead
from taking pictures all day.” San collected it from the desk, plugging it in and letting it lay on the
ground.

Wooyoung didn’t say anything, moving to the other side of the bed and climbing under the covers.
When San got back up and looked over to see where he was, his nervous smile dropped. Clearing
his throat and trying to act normal, he pulled the covers back and crawled in with him. Though they
were at least a foot apart, the knowledge that they could reach out under the blankets and touch
each other was like a burning on their skin.

They faced each other. Wooyoung, with his arms wrapped up in the blanket and curled up under
his chin, and San, who was more casual, one arm out on top of the blanket, and the other under the
pillow, propping up his head. They didn’t say anything for a long while, eyes on each other’s face.
It was uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you something.” San finally spoke, words soft, both of them still
speaking in whispers.

Wooyoung nodded immediately. “Ask away.”

“When did you know you were gay?” His lip was between his teeth, the nervous look replaced with
genuine interest and curiosity.

“Oh.” He hadn’t been expecting that question. When he thought of the answer, he smiled as he told
him. “I think I was in sixth grade at the time. There was this friend I had, this cute boy named
Yeonjun, and we would have sleepovers and stuff.” San’s smile returned, listening intently.
Wooyoung felt a fluttering in his chest, having sudden flashbacks of his first crush. “One night, we
were up way past when my parents went to bed, so we put on a scary movie.”

Wooyoung’s eyes warmed, smile widening. “He got scared and held my hand, holding on to my
arm. Then he buried his face in my neck, holding me for dear life.” He laughed softly, feeling
warm at the memories. “I never wanted him to let go. I made him watch scary movies with me all
the time after that.” He sighed. “He was my first crush.”

San’s smile was warm and giddy, seeming to be feeling the same things he was. “What happened?
Are you guys still friends?”

He nodded. “We still talk every so often. He’s off being a trainee. I’m sure he’ll be a big kpop idol
in a few years.”

“That's cool.”

“Mhmm.”

San gave him a curious look. “Have you ever told anyone besides me and Yunho that you’re gay?”

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “Nope.”

His look was sad. “I wish you didn’t feel so afraid.”

He barked out a soft laugh, humorless. “I wish I could have your confidence.” Wooyoung felt tears
prickle in his eyes, but he held them back. “You make it look so easy. Sometimes I feel like if I
could just steal some of your confidence I could do it. Come out and just be myself, no matter what
others think of me.”

San’s eyes were warm and sad, and he reached out, searching and finding Wooyoung’s hand. He
inhaled in surprise at the sudden contact, and while his body shook with nerves, he didn’t pull
away as the hand held his. “If you ever decide to tell people, I’ll gladly be there to support you.
Even if you have no body, you’ll always have me. I promise you that.”

Chest tight, his eyes swim with belief that he actually would be there. His words were choked by
the emotion. “Yeosang is lucky to have someone like you to love him.”

He shook his head. “We’re all lucky to have each other.”

“God, you and your fucking cheesy, poetic nonsense.” Wooyung teased, using their joined hands to
push his chest, but his own heart swelled at his words.

San smiled, allowing himself to be pushed. “I think you’re starting to like it.”

“You wish.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes, thankful that the dark probably hid his blush.

They fell into a comfortable silence where they kept staring at each other, eyes roaming across
faces. He liked looking at him, seeing the way his eyes seem to dance with excitement and
emotions in expressive ways. San was the one to break the silence, smile dropping with a look of
something Wooyoung couldn’t read in his eyes.

“Wooyoung, have you ever kissed a guy?”

His heart started racing, his smile dropped, and his stomach twisted with apprehension and
expectation. It was like his body was on fire and electrified at the same time. He was afraid to
answer and he wanted to answer so bad.

“Uh, no. No I haven’t.”

San nodded slowly. “Oh. Yeah, me either.”

Their eyes were locked together. This was telepathy. He could see the question in San’s eyes.
Could he? Would Wooyoung allow it? Was he wanting the same thing? They could if they wanted
to. It was up to him, but San wanted to. San was holding out an offer without stating it explicitly
knowing the fear Wooyoung had living inside him.

Yeosang’s invisible presence floated between them.

They were both thinking the same thing. If they kissed, if they confirmed whatever was happening
between them in that invisible moment away from the world, what did that mean for Yeosang?
They knew neither of them were suddenly going to give up on the one they both loved. There was
already an understanding of allowing each other to love Yeosang, but what did that look like if
there was something in that room, in that bed, in those two pairs of eyes that stared into each other?

Wooyoung broke the silence. Someone needed to say it. “I love Yeosang.”

“I also love Yeosang.” His response was immediate.

“We-”

San cut him off. “I like you as well.”

Wooyoung hadn’t often seen that look on his face. The few times he did, was when he was
speaking about his feelings for Yeosang. Right then, it was directed at him, for him. For the first
time in his life, he was being confessed to, and it just so happened to be his rival in love. He was
terrified, and confused, and yet it felt like his heart was beating blood through his body for the first
time.

“Why? When? A few days ago you were saying we should be friends and respect each other
because of Yeosang, and now you’re telling me you have feelings for me?” Wooyoung felt like his
mind was going to explode. It was all too much, too confusing, too complicated.

Of course, San was calm, serious, holding tighter to his hand and pulling it against his chest,
forcing Wooyoung’s eyes to stay focused on him. “Today, in Yeosang’s apartment I realized I was
sexually attracted to you. Then, watching you be someone completely open and happy and
different from the scared you, at the park made me realize I liked you.”

Mouth falling open, Wooyoung’s face contorted in frustration, pushing against his chest again and
again as he angrily let his feelings fall out. “You insane fucker. One day?! You meet Yeosang and
fall in love with him in one day, and I let it slide cause you already seemed crazy and he’s him.
Now you have the audacity to say I did something to pull your attention from Yeosang? You’re
trying to make me believe that there’s something about me that is impressive enough to pull
attention from Yeosang? Yeosang, the boy we’re both in love with?! Yeosang, who you treat like
he hung the fucking sun in the sky?! Yeosang, who made your whole life change overnight?!”

He didn’t know when he started crying, but his face was wet and his heart felt like something was
holding it and squeezing. “How dare you try to make me believe there’s something about me that
could even be equal to-”

San kissed him.

~~~

Apparently, San easily fell in love with broken boys who beat his chest while yelling at him.

He had confessed, not expecting Wooyoung to get angry at him. At first he thought he had made a
terrible mistake, as the first push sent his mind reeling in regret. Then the words he spoke became
thicker with emotion, and each word broke San’s heart. Each push was accompanied by a
heartbreaking confession of believing he wasn’t good enough to be loved.

When the tears began falling, San wanted to stop him from saying such terrible things. He wanted
to stop him from comparing himself to Yeosang. Wooyoung was his own person, with quirks and
little bits and pieces that made him unique, and San was finally seeing him for what he thought of
himself. It was painful to watch, and he just wanted to show him that he was more than that fear of
the world he carried like a weapon against himself.

Maybe San really was insane, as he reached out with his free hand, the other still holding tightly to
Wooyoung’s, grabbed his neck and pulled him forward, crushing their lips together. The words
were cut off, and the boy struggled for a moment before becoming frozen in shock. It was barely a
kiss, unmoving lips stopping more terrible words from falling out.

After a moment, he opened his eyes that he hadn’t realized had closed, and San’s eyes met
Wooyoung’s wide ones. It was terrifying for one second, before he relaxed, and repositioned,
kissing him softer, lips molding over his. He closed his eyes, afraid and waiting to be pushed away.

Instead, like stiff clay waiting for the right hands, he felt Wooyoung melt under his touch. Then
suddenly, a fist was in his shirt, pulling him closer and San was the one being kissed with a hunger
he’d never experienced before. Wooyoung flung away his other hand, grabbing onto San’s neck
and holding him tightly as he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth.
San was no longer in control, as the other boy dug fingers into the back of his scalp, holding him in
place. He felt like his skin was on fire, as a tongue slipped between his lips, and he moaned,
allowing Wooyoung whatever he wanted as his teeth were touched by someone else for the first
time, the tongue exploring in a way he had never experienced before. It was messy, and
inexperienced, and yet it set his soul ablaze.

Wooyoung pushed him on his back, leaning over him as San suddenly became the clay and he the
sculptor, and San gasped as he was straddled. With the gasp, Wooyoung delved deeper in the open
mouth, and San sucked on the strange and delicious mint tongue, mind blank except for an
overwhelming need to be consumed.

The boy on top of him ground his hips down into San, and both moaned in strangled pleasure. San
grabbed his hips, pushing fingers under the shirt and felt the warm skin with tentative fingertips. It
was becoming hard to breathe, but how dare he stop. How could he stop this fire that was
consuming his very existence?

Wooyoung’s hands moved from his hair, over his chest, and up under his shirt, fingers splaying
against his stomach. San felt his muscles retract in reaction, gasping at the contact. Then the hands
lowered and grabbed his waistband, and fear settled in, opening his eyes and grabbing those hands
before they could continue.

San pulled back, breaking the kiss, watching the boy above him look down at him like he was
seeing for the first time as they parted. Their eyes were locked, breath fanning across each other’s
face, as they both slowly came back to reality. Wooyoung looked beautiful, lips parted slightly and
a little plump from the aggression, eyes wild with that hunger that scared and excited San.

Then, as if his mind returned, his eyes widened and he rushed off of San, and sat on the bed beside
him, not looking over. Wooyoung covered his face with his hands, and was muttering something
under his breath. The other boy, swallowing and clearing his throat, sat up beside him, feeling
awkward and alive, and crazy.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” San started softly, looking down at his hands in his lap.
There was no response for a moment, as the boy continued to sit there, silent, face in his hands.
“Maybe I should go.”

Wooyoung finally spoke, but didn’t look up, words coming from between his fingers. “What do
you want from me, San?”

He wasn’t expecting that question. Taking a moment to think, he looked out at the dark room,
amazed at how they had arrived at this point. “I… want you to not be afraid anymore.”

A choked sob, mixed with a laugh, erupted from him. “I mean this. Us. Kissing.”

San looked over, watching him wipe his face. “Same answer.”

“I hate you.” He sobbed again, and looked over, eyes swimming with everything besides hatred.
“You must have something fucked up in your head to believe any of this helps anyone. What about
Yeosang? What does this mean for him?”

He took it in stride, trying not to let his words bother him. “I don’t really know. All I know is that I
want him… and you.” As the words were spoken, it was almost like he was telling himself for the
first time as well. Words spoken became fact, and now he looked at Wooyoung and he wanted to
hold him, comfort him, love him.
“You’re a selfish asshole.” He hissed, glaring at him, eyebrows furrowed and heart heavy in his
eyes.

San smiled sadly, shrugging. It hurt a little, but he let it go, understanding that he was feeling
confused. “I am this. I can’t explain what I feel. Words are not the language meant to describe what
I feel.”

Wooyoung scoffed, annoyed. “Poetics.” He waved a hand. “And what is the right language?”

Without planning it, without waiting, he reached out again. This time, he was slow and careful,
hands gentle as he used his thumb and forefinger to hold his chin and turn his face. He moved with
slow purpose, allowing Wooyoung to pull away, but the eyes widened and he didn’t turn. Even San
didn’t know what was going to happen.

Moving closer, he rose a bit, and pressed his lips against his forehead. Then he moved to the bridge
of his nose. Moving over, lips barely lifting from his skin, he kissed the wet skin under his eye,
moving to do the same to the other. San kissed either cheek, and then the corner of his mouth, and
then the other side. At long last, moving so slowly, he pressed a soft kiss to his mouth and pulled
back.

Wooyoung’s expression had relaxed, though there was an apprehensiveness in the way his
breathing had become shallow. Swallowing, he pulled away, eyes not breaking contact. “Where do
you want this to go? What happens if Yeosang does choose you? Where does that leave me?”

Smiling, as if it all were obvious. “Well, good thing I have two hands.” He reached out, softly
grabbing his hand and lifting it to his lips, kissing the knuckles.

“You’re insane.”

“I’ll get it tattooed over my heart tomorrow.” The hand was pulled away with a scoff, but
Wooyoung seemed to have settled.

He rubbed his face again, this time out of exhaustion. “I’m tired. I need to sleep this off and pretend
you don’t exist tomorrow.”

San laughed, reaching out to wrap his arms around his shoulders, pulling him down and hugging
him to his chest. “Then let me hold you tonight.”

The boy in his arms froze up for a moment, but then relaxed, giving him a begrudging poke in the
stomach. “So this is what you do, huh? You wear people down with aggressive physical affection.”

“Is it working?” Huffing, he didn’t respond to the question.

Eventually, laying in silence, the warmth of their bodies beginning to lull him into sleep,
Wooyoung asked another question. “Do you really think someone can like two people at the same
time?”

San’s eyes opened, looking over the top of his head, and he squeezed him tighter, kissing his hair.
“I can’t speak for other people, but I think I have too much love I want to give for one person to
handle.” The unspoken understanding of who he was talking about settled between them.

The body sighed in his arms. “So am I just a placeholder? I just, how does wanting two people at
the same time work?”

He shrugged. “I don’t think there’s any right answer to that. I think we figure out how that works
for ourselves.”

Long silence. “Do you think you love me?”

San smiled. “I know that you are more than just a friend or rival, or co conspirator.”

“So you aren’t fully sure about how you feel about me?”

Nod. “I’m figuring it out.”

Deep, heavy sigh. “I might end up stabbing you.”

“That’d be a cool story to tell people when we’re old.”

Wooyoung barked out a laugh. “You think we’ll still be friends that long?”

“I think in my ideal world we would be..”

The body snuggled deeper into his arms. “You’re insane.”

“Yeah, I seem to get that a lot.” They shared in the soft laughter, both growing more tired as their
heightened emotions settled.

After a while, Wooyoung’s tired voice rose to his ears, pulling him back from the edges of sleep.
“San?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m scared… and confused.”

He sighed, lifting a hand to pet his hair. “I know.”

“I don’t know how I feel about any of this.”

“Okay.”

Wooyoung moved back to look up at him, looking nervous. “What if I say no. No kissing, no
feelings, no to you.”

His stomach twisted, and he swallowed. “Would we be friends?”

Laughing, incredulous, he shook his head. “I’m the other boy who loves the same person you do,
why are you grabbing my heart as well? Don’t you have enough?”

Was he being selfish? Was he being greedy and gluttonous? He just liked him and wanted to make
him happy and kiss him, like he did with Yeosang. Was he wrong for there being two people at the
same time? It didn’t feel wrong until Wooyoung said that.

Softly, voice weakening in self doubt, he pulled away slightly. “Why is it wrong for me to like you,
too?”

“Because it makes it complicated.”

He frowned. “Not for me. It doesn’t have to be for you either. Shouldn’t we get to decide what is
okay and normal for us?” San’s eyes hardened, pulling his arms from around him, leaving him in
the cold air, eyes a little wide at the sudden departure. “Aren’t you the one making it
complicated?”

Wooyoung looked taken aback. “What?”

Shaking his head, he sat up, giving him a pained look. “I’m sitting here offering us all a chance to
be happy together. That’s IF Yeosang is even gay, which we don’t know, we’re only assuming,
possibly seeing only what we want to see. But we have feelings for each other, mine maybe
stronger than yours and it’s new and confusing, but they're there. Me, you, Yeosang. We have this
connection that feels like it could be so much more than some stupid love triangle. The three of us,
we could have everything.”

He turned, facing him, heart spilling out of his mouth and eyes beginning to threaten him with
tears. “Why do you want to fight with me over him, when we could have each other, and him?
Doesn’t that make you the selfish one? You already said it, he wouldn’t want to choose one of us if
it meant hurting the other, so why make him choose? Why are you the one sitting here crushing
this opportunity before it even starts?

“YOU KISSED ME BACK!.” The silence felt even louder after San raised his voice on that last
sentence.

San’s heartbreak and anger overflowed, and he pushed himself off the bed after yelling at him.
Walking over, he grabbed his clothes, and threw on his jacket. The phone was in his hand and he
was grabbing his keys, face wet and vision blurred with tears. He didn’t look over while he
collected his things, and no noises came from the bed.

Finally, he turned, looking at Wooyoung who looked scared, fragile, and alone in the bed, eyes
wide as he watched him collect his things. San looked at him, knowing in his heart that he was
scared, and that he should be kinder and softer, but he hadn’t felt this much pain in years. Why did
everything have to be so difficult, when his feelings seemed so simple and true.

Wiping his face, he gave him a small smile. “I just want us all to be happy. Together.”

Then he turned, throwing the door open, walking into the groggy and surprised faces of
Wooyoung’s parents who had come out at his raised voice. “I’m sorry for the intrusion.” He
offered out, and then turned before anything could be said. Nearly running down the stairs, he
rushed out the front door, climbed into his car, and drove off.

San hadn’t felt this heartbroken since his father left.

~~~

Wooyoung was frozen in shock as San unloaded on him.

His mind and heart had been struggling to piece it all together, to understand San and what he
wanted, but he just couldn’t make it make sense. Why would they be lucky enough to make
something like that work? How would the people around them accept them or look at them? How
would he explain this to the other people in his life?”

His fear had begun to overwhelm him as it clashed with how safe he felt in his arms.

Then he had said the wrong thing, something mean to someone who he could see only had pure
intentions. His implication that he was being selfish had visibly cut through San, and he had felt
guilty as soon as he saw the way he had started to doubt himself. Then he unloaded on Wooyoung,
raising his voice and calling out his crime of kissing him back.
 When the boy said that last thing, and then left, he didn’t have time to process his own feelings
before his parents were walking in and turning on the lights. He couldn’t imagine what his face
looked like, red and swollen with the tears he had been crying and the emotional turmoil he had
been experiencing. This perfect day was ending in disaster, and he felt it was all his fault.

His parents didn’t say anything for a moment, taking in their tear stained son. Then his mother
moved forward, compassion on her face and sat on the bed, pulling him into her arms. “What’s
going on honey?”

“It’s nearly two am, Wooyoung. Who was that boy and why was he here?” His father asked, arms
crossed, looking serious but not raising his voice.

It was almost too much to handle all at once. “He… he was going to stay the night because we got
back late, but we got into an argument.”

Sharing a look with her husband, she pulled Wooyoung’s head against her shoulder. “Do you want
to talk about it?”

He shook his head, and pulled back to look her in the eyes, begging her. “I really don’t. I just want
to go to bed. Please. I’m sorry for having him over without asking. I’m sorry we woke you up.”

She looked like she wanted to argue, but something in his face spoke to her and she sighed,
nodding. “Okay. I will bring this up again eventually.”

He sobbed out a laugh. “I know.”

His father looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept quiet, following his wife out. “Goodnight,
honey.”

“Goodnight.”

When they left the room, Wooyoung fell back on the bed, and buried himself in his blankets. He
fisted the blanket and dug it into his eyes, frustrated tears falling once again after finally being
alone. Who was wrong in this situation? Could they both be right and wrong at the same time? The
thought of seeing him again made his stomach rise into his throat.

He didn’t think he could show his face tomorrow.

Chapter End Notes

Surprise Chapter!

I had a surprise day off, so enjoy this surprise update.

Is it just me, or is it getting a little hot in here. San does not hold back at all. He's
always at 100% compared to these two boys haha. I love him lol.
 Do You Doubt Me?
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Yeosang woke up rested and content.

He didn’t remember making it home the night before, but he’s sure San and Wooyoung were the
reason his alarm went off on time even though he didn’t set it. Stretching out his arms and legs,
making a loud noise as he did, he rolled over and saw the pile of stuff in the corner. He smiled,
remembering the day before. It was probably the best day he had ever had since his mother was
alive.

Climbing out of bed, he took a quick shower, kind of excited to go to school. He collected up his
things and left the apartment, an easy smile on his face. The day was warm and comfortable, and
he even stopped to grab something to eat for breakfast.

The school appeared in the distance, and his heart fluttered at the thought of seeing his friends.
When he got to his locker though, neither was in sight. He frowned, because usually at least one of
them would be there by now, waiting for him. Thinking maybe they were late, he waited for a bit
until it became obvious neither was going to show up before he went to class. Frowning, he made
his way to the classroom.

Yunho was sitting at his seat, scrolling through his phone, but Wooyoung was nowhere in sight.
Walking over, he sat down and turned to him. “Have you seen Wooyoung this morning?”

He shook his head, not looking up. “I have not.” Finally taking in his words, he looked up,
eyebrows raised at the appearance of Yeosang but the seat in front of him was empty. “Hmm. I can
text him.”

“Thank you.” Yeosang turned in his seat, pencil between his teeth as he wondered what happened
to cause him not to see either of his friends who were usually attached to him.

The first class passed by with no sign of him. When the class ended, he turned to Yunho who
shrugged. “Said he wasn’t feeling well today and stayed home.”

Maybe yesterday took its toll on him. “Okay.” What else was there to do or say. He might go see
him later.

Lunch came, and finally, as he was leaving the front doors with Yunho, he caught sight of San and
Hongjoong walking away from campus. Yeosang frowned, because usually San would ask him
what he was doing or would tell him first before he went off to have lunch with someone else.
Even from this distance, knowing his friend too well, he could see the tension in his body
language.

He turned to Yunho, needing someone to voice his suspicions. “I think something happened
between San and Wooyoung. I don’t think he’s actually sick.”

Yunho looked up to where he was looking, seeing San’s retreating figure. “What makes you think
that?”

Sighing, he shrugged. “Yesterday everything was good, great even, but today Wooyoung is M.I.A.
and San hasn’t even come to say hi to me.”
“Why would that connect them?”

Oh right, he didn’t know, because he hadn’t been invited. Face pinkening a bit in guilt, he still was
honest. “The three of us went to the amusement park yesterday.” Yunho’s eyebrow rose, but he
didn’t say anything. “They seemed to get along well, but then today they’re both acting weird.”

“That is interesting, isn’t it.” His tone implied he had more thoughts than that, but he only
shrugged. “Well, want me to text Wooyoung about it?”

He shook his head, the red deepening in his face. “No, let him be. I’ll talk to San after lunch. He’ll
be honest with me if something happened.” Yeosang laughed awkwardly. “That's probably why
he’s avoiding me.”

Yunho nodded slowly, pursing his lips. “It’s also probably why Wooyoung didn’t come to school.
They’re both weak when it comes to you.”

Yeosang looked over to find that he was giving him a knowing smile. He swallowed, turning away.
“So what do you want for lunch?”

Snorting at his deflection, he waved a hand. “I want bread.”

He laughed, happy that he let the subject change. “Bread it is.”

Near the tail end of lunch, he went searching for San. When he couldn't find him in his usual spots,
he waited by the main entrance for him to return from wherever he and Hongjoong had gone.
Eventually, the boys walked in, not seeing Yeosang waiting, and walked past.

"San." He called out, pushing off the wall he had been leaning on. When he got no response, he got
louder. "Choi San!" Why did these boys have to walk so fast?

At his yelled name, the boy's head jerked up and around, immediately looking like he was hiding
something as his eyes caught on Wooyoung. He waved away his friend, and sauntered back to the
waiting boy, obviously trying to put on an air of everything being normal. San was a bad actor and
liar.

Yeosang narrowed his eyes as San walked up, reaching for his bangs. "You need another haircut
soon, it's getting a little wild."

He smacked the hand away. "You didn't come say hi to me at all today." Yeosang couldn't help it
if he pouted a bit.

Taking it in, San’s eyes warmed and his sly smile slipped through as he put a hand on the wall
behind his head, leaning in too close. "Awe, did you miss me that much? Couldn't even go a
morning without me?"

The way his voice dipped, and his eyes roamed down caused Yeosang to swallow. This was not
how it was supposed to go. Finding some strength, he pushed his arm off the wall, causing the boy
to stumble forward as Yeosang stepped to the side out of his way. "Why are you distancing
yourself and why didn't Wooyoung come to school today?" His accusing tone was dripping with
surety, not allowing any excuses.

He frowned. "He didn't come to school?"

"He told Yunho he wasn't feeling well. I don't believe him." He continued the expectant look.
San caved so quickly it would have been embarrassing if it wasn't for Yeosang actually liking that
he couldn't lie to him. "We might have got into an argument last night. It may or may not have been
my fault." He looked extremely guilty. "It was…" His words faltered as he suddenly couldn't look
him in the eye. "It was complicated."

Yeosang took in his words and his body language, and his heart fluttered at the same time his
stomach twisted. Was it over me? He sighed. "I'll go talk to him after school. I don't want you guys
at each other's throats anymore. I thought you guys had left all this behind yesterday.."

At his mention of seeing Wooyoung, he looked a little nervous. "I'll go talk to him. I'm the one
who made him upset."

He frowned. "Don't you think it would be better if I did?"

San gave him a sad smile. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you showing up would make
it more complicated." He gave him a long look, and Yeosang understood then that it was indeed
about him. "I can handle this. He's had time to calm down, and so have I, so just… let me do this."

Yeosang didn't speak for a moment, taking in the earnest way he asked him, before he nodded,
sighing. "Okay, but if you kill each other, know I tried to stop it."

Laughing, he reached out and pinched his cheek. "Always looking out for yourself, huh."

"I'm looking out for all of us. Who else is gonna bail you out of jail?" He teased, pinkening at the
affection in his eyes. "You better come see me before you leave today."

San pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, seeming to be holding back, which made Yeosang’s
heart race. "I would never leave without seeing you first."

Swallow. "Okay, I gotta go back to class."

His warm smile returned to take over the dangerous one. "Alright. I'll see you later."

Yeosang could feel the eyes on his back as he walked away.

~~~

San had gone home the night before and mentally kicked himself for a couple hours before finally
sleeping.

His eyes hadn't been closed for long before he was rolling out of bed and getting ready for school.
He meant everything he said and didn't regret much of it, but he didn't like the thought of having
pushed Wooyoung, who he knew had a much smaller boundary zone than the rest of them. There
was no taking it back though, cause he was the type who focused on moving forward.

So, with the thought of being extra kind to Wooyoung today, he had went to school. He had been a
bit late, so he didn't get to see them. Then, a little bit before, lost in thought, he had started to
overthink that maybe he should actually give him some space, which led to him going to lunch
with Hongjoong instead.

Now, back in class after talking to Yeosang, he realized that Wooyoung was going through it a bit
rougher than he had thought. Maybe he shouldn't go and see him, but he knew the boy was the type
to hold it in instead, kind of like Yeosang gets sometimes. San also knew that if Yeosang went to
see him, without any context, it might just be too awkward for Wooyoung to handle.
So he decided he would go instead to apologize and hopefully lift some tension. If he were honest,
he knew he wasn't the best at it, but given the circumstances, he needed to hold himself
accountable for the things he had done. Plus, he didn't like to think Wooyoung was home alone
overthinking and probably digging himself deeper into a hole because of him.

When the final bell let out he quickly made his way to Yeosang’s locker. He smiled, seeing him
already waiting, looking expectant. When their eyes caught, his heart fluttered at the way Yeosang
seemed to relax, something like relief on his face.

Only one morning I didn't come say hi, and suddenly you're worried I won't ever show? Don't try
to act surprised when I tell you I love you.

He leaned against the locker, looking down at his pretty eyes. "You look really cute today."

The pink rose in an instant. "I look the same as always."

"You sure do." He smirked, the pink turning red. "Do you work tonight?"

He sighed, hoisting his bag. "Unfortunately."

San frowned, hand falling to his hip. "If you work, how the hell were you going to go see
Wooyoung?"

Yeosang grew defensive. "I would've made it work."

"Of course you would." San couldn't even pretend to be irritated, too lost in his boy's pouting lips.

Suddenly, he's hissing at him. "San, stop it."

He shook himself, finally letting his eyes and mind return to his control. Yeosang was blushing
deeply and glaring at him. "What? What happened?"

Yeosang shook his head, sighing. "I'm leaving."

"Let me walk with you."

Another stern look. "No, you have to go patch things up with Wooyoung."

San let his sly smile return. "If I make everything better with him will you reward me?"

Mouth falling open at the blatant sexual comment, Yeosang’s face looked adorable. "I'm leaving."
This time it was more stern, embarrassed, and he turned and walked away.

God, I love him.

He followed after, eyes lowering to his butt as he walked. If only Yeosang knew how nice it was to
watch him walk away. San smiled to himself as he unfortunately turned toward the pickup zone,
splitting ways with him.

Once he was in the car, getting closer and closer to Wooyoung’s home, the nerves started to settle
in. The memory of the kiss, if that's what that hunger driven experience could be called, filled his
mind. He had thought it would be the start of something exciting and amazing. He hadn't thought
much more beyond his own feelings really.

When the car stopped and he got out, he stood for a moment as the car drove away, looking up at
the house with his stomach twisting. He really hoped his parents weren't home. Gathering himself,
he took a deep breath and walked forward. Raising a hand, he paused, then knocked loudly.

For a long moment there was no response, and he thought maybe Wooyoung wouldn't answer, but
then the door opened. He was standing there in a t-shirt and shorts, hair a mess, looking exhausted.
Then his eyes had seen San and apprehension settled quickly on his face.

"What are you doing here?"

San smiled softly, feeling bad at how he looked. "More talking."

He rolled his eyes. "Do you ever shut up?"

Shaking his head, he shrugged. "Not when it comes to people I care about."

Wooyoung sighed, giving him a long, thoughtful look. Then he stepped aside. "Come on."

Feeling relieved, he smiled, stepping inside.

~~~

Wooyoung had done a lot of thinking throughout his day alone at home.

There was so much to process about the whole weekend. Friday San had laid everything out on the
table about liking Yeosang and being gay. He thought that would have been the end of surprises,
even though that hadn’t been much of a surprise. That was something he basically knew already,
and having it confirmed had been something he could handle.

Then the amusement park hangout happened, and they had spent the day having an amazing time.
It was probably the best day he’s had in such a long time, he couldn’t think of another day that
could top it. He felt comradery with San and it was relaxing, and relieving in a way he hadn’t
expected. It felt like they could be friends.

That car ride home is where things shifted. He had always found San attractive, but not in a way
that he felt he was attainable. They were ‘rivals’ and ‘friends’ but he hadn’t expected anything
more than that to happen between them. His attraction to San seemed simply to be a respect and
envy of his personality and the way he carried himself, unapologetically.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

Those words were loaded, and he knew it when he said them. Those feelings, so fresh and new and
scary, had led his actions until suddenly San was pulling out of him a million buried emotions all at
once. Hunger, loneliness, arousal, want, they were all things he had ignored for the most part,
keeping them out of the way for fear that they would mess up his mind, his life.

He kissed him, and a dam broke inside Wooyoung that used to be indestructible.

Of course, right after, already in his confused state, San had to bring up his ideas of all of them
together and his perfect world and his idealistic idea of what they could be. Wooyoung had shut
him down, not even letting the boy believe in himself. His own self doubt bled out until he had hurt
San and sent him scurrying away. A lot of his shame now, as he looked at him, was of that
moment, taking this pure soul who only wanted to love who he loved, and causing him to doubt
himself.

That moment is what he regretted the most out of everything. He had envied San for his ability to
feel and accept, and he had tried to tear it down with his own pessimism. Did he even deserve for
this boy to be here now, being worried over him? How did he even deserve to be a part of this
boy’s affection? San deserved so much better than him, and if he was being honest, he might
deserve better than Yeosang.

He deserves someone who was as unafraid as he was to love him back.

His stomach was twisting with tension and apprehension as he led him up to his bedroom. Part of
him wanted to not let him in there, because the kiss played in his mind again as they entered.
Instead, he closed the door behind them, and watched as San went to sit in his desk chair, face calm
and relaxed. How was he so chill about it all?

Sitting down on the bed, he pulled his legs up underneath him. They watched each other for a few
moments, before San finally spoke. “I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t really expecting that. “Why are you sorry?”

Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his hands on his jeans, a first sign that he was also nervous. “I
shouldn’t have pushed you so far last night. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

‘Like that’ not at all, just that. Wooyoung felt his heart flutter at the implications. “It’s okay. It’s
not like I didn’t…” He swallowed dryly. “It’s not like I didn’t try to do more.”

San’s face, in a rare moment that didn’t happen often, turned pink. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able
to stop myself from letting you go further if I didn’t stop it then.”

Wooyoung’s stomach filled with heat at the implications and his own face felt hot. “Oh.”

The boy laughed, smile all too suggestive. “You’re… It was…”

“I get it, I get it.” He stopped him from continuing, feeling his whole body heat up. San smirked,
licking his lips, but stopped talking. Wooyoung watched him, the easy way he continued to flirt.
“How do you do it?”

San cocked his head, confused. “Do what?”

He motioned with his hands at his whole existence. “How do you feel something and just accept it?
You felt like you liked a boy, for the first time, and instead of second guessing yourself or thinking
it through, you just accepted it and your sexuality like it was nothing.” Wooyoung looked at him
like he was a god among them. “Then you figured out you liked me too, and that’s it, that’s all it
took for you to confess to me and start pursuing me.”

San took it all in, listening intently, looking kind of melancholy as he spoke. After a moment of
silence, as his eyes didn’t waver from Wooyoung, he shook his head, smiling with a shrug. “Why
would I question myself?” Wooyoung looked taken aback by the question. “Wooyoung, I spent
most of my life being numb to the world, probably because of my family life, but when I finally felt
something, it was a turning point for me.”

He looked a little lost on how to explain himself, but he kept talking, and Wooyoung listened.
“There is nothing wrong with liking someone, or loving them. I don’t care what anyone in the
world says. Caring about someone is the best feeling I have ever experienced. Loving Yeosang is a
joy I never expected to have. Liking you was a surprise, but I will not let someone, not even you,
tell me there is something wrong with me because of it.”

Wooyoung felt that hit his chest, and he swallowed his emotions. “What if it all turns bad? What if
none of it works out and it was all for nothing?”
The look he gave him filled him with shame, like he couldn't believe he had said something like
that. “All for nothing? All for nothing? How dare you.” San looked angry, and hurt. “So what if it
doesn’t work out? I am a whole new person because some boys came around and showed me I
could care about the world. I, who hasn’t loved anything in years, feel like I’m overflowing with it.
I like being alive. I love being in love. There is no greater joy in my life than seeing Yeosang smile
or laugh because of something I, me, a stupid boy, said.”

San’s eyes were beginning to fill, and as he spoke, tears began falling and his voice became thick
with emotions. Wooyoung felt his own chest tighten as he spoke, seeing his pure, unfiltered
honesty. All his emotions were suddenly palpable, and Wooyoung felt like he could feel every
word. “So what if it doesn’t end like how I want it to, because it still all happened. It not working
out doesn’t erase all the love and memories, and good things that came out of me accepting my
feelings and myself. I will absolutely not let anyone, not you, not Yeosang, not my parents, not a
single soul make me question myself ever again. I am gay, I am in love, and I like you, and I’m not
sorry.” He shook his head, wiping away his tears from burning eyes. “If you don’t want me, then I
can accept that, but you will not make me question myself because you can’t accept yourself.”

The words were slowly beating against his skin, hitting him with truth and force, and then those
last words fully stabbed into his chest. Wooyoung’s mouth fell open, and he felt tears rise into his
eyes as the sheer, horrible truth of his words broke him. He was right, because of course he was.
San had called him out on his most inner truth, that he couldn’t accept himself, which held him
back and all those around him who tried to love him.

San’s face morphed in horror as he realized his words and the way it affected Wooyoung. Rushing
forward, he grabbed his hands, eyes wide with regret and guilt as he profusely apologized. “I’m
sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. Please forgive me. I didn't want to hurt you. I came here to
apologize and I made it worse. I’m sorry. I’m-”

“San.” Wooyoung’s heart felt like it was so heavy, but his incessant words were bombarding it.

“I don’t want you to be scared. I didn’t want you to-”

“San!” He yelled, finally bringing his words to a stop. Wooyoung looked down at the boy on his
knees, tears staining his face, and eyes wide with the realization that he had hurt him. This boy was
going to kill him with all this emotion. “San, you’re right.”

He pulled back, eyebrows furrowing in shock. “What?”

Wooyoung was so broken down at the moment, that he couldn’t even be mad or upset over the
words he said. His heart and soul were laid bare from it all, showing the ugly truth of who he was.
“You’re right. I’m afraid to be myself, I’m afraid to be honest, I’m afraid to be gay, I’m afraid to
openly like someone.” He sighed, pulling his hands free from San’s. “I’m pathetic.”

San shook his head. “No, you’re not. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s normal, I shouldn’t have said
something like that to you.”

The look in those eyes, of honest remorse, softened his heart. San really did care about him. Even if
it confused Wooyoung, he couldn’t deny it anymore. Like he had said, San did not question
himself, so if he said he cared, then he cared. His own self doubt had made him doubt the feelings
of others.

Reaching out, as San tried to say something else, Wooyoung covered his mouth with a hand. “Can
you shut up for a moment.” When he nodded, he pulled his hand away. Sighing, he shook his head
down at the incredibly insane boy. “I believe you. I believe that you don’t want to hurt me. I
 believe that you have feelings for me. And I…” He closed his eyes, unable to look at him as the
emotions overflowed and he found himself crying, again. “I want to be liked, and I want to be
cared for, and I want to be loved.” He sobbed, finally opening his eyes and looking at San,
beautiful, handsome, honest, heartfelt San. “I want to let you do all those things.” Even he was
surprised by his words. “It’s just so hard, because I don’t know where to begin. I doubt myself so
much, and it makes it paralyzing to do anything.”

San waited till a moment had passed before he spoke, words soft and calming. “Do you doubt
me?”

A fresh wave of tears fell. “No.”

He nodded, smiling up at him from where he was still on his knees. “Then can you trust me? I’m
not saying that being together, whether that’s with or without Yeosang, is going to be easy. All I’m
saying is that feeling what we feel can be easy. As long as you don’t doubt that I care about you,
and that I’m willing to fight for what I want, which also means what you want.” San laughed,
shaking his head. “As long as you don’t doubt me, I will do everything I can to make you feel
loved.”

Wooyoung sobbed, turning away as it all became so overwhelming. That self doubt still told him it
was all a fantasy of young boys not knowing shit about the world, but he couldn’t help but feel like
the words were soothing his heart. It was so much, too much, and yet it was everything he wanted.
It was so intense, and yet his soul reached for the boy who spoke the words that scared him.

After a moment, he looked down, vision swimming, and nodded. “Fine. You win.”

Chapter End Notes

I'm in the middle of gaming with friends, posting this real quick.

Enjoy!!!
 The Old You Sucked
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

San couldn’t believe he found himself here again.

Somehow, they had ended up in Wooyoung’s bed, with him being held in his arms. It felt amazing,
after all the tears and yelling and confession, to be laying there hugging him. He pushed his hand
under his shirt, and rubbed his back, skin on skin. The boy shivered underneath him, but didn’t
move to stop him, only burrowing his face further into his neck, sighing softly.

“San, you know you move way too fast, right?” The muffled words reached his ear, the feeling of
hot breath on his skin sending waves of heat throughout his body.

He laughed softly, using a single finger to trace his own name into Wooyoung’s skin. “I want what
I want and I go for it.”

“Hmm.” Wooyoung’s voice was sleepy and it was so cute. “What if eventually you decide this
was all a mistake?”

San frowned. “Stop it.”

“I’m sorry.” The response was muffle as it seemed like he was about to sleep soon. “I’m still
scared.”

“I know. It’s okay. Just don’t push me away.” San shifted so he could kiss his forehead, then rested
his chin on his head again. “You’re mine and I’m not letting go.”

Snort. “You’re insane.”

He smiled. “I like you, too.”

Feeling a little playful apparently, Wooyoung pulled back and gave him a suspicious look. “What
happens if another boy comes around and you decide you like him too? You just gonna add a third
boy to your roster?”

The thought made San laugh, but he gave him a look of apprehension. “Geez, I hope not. I only
have two hands.”

He frowned. “What does that mean?”

Giving a cute pout, he pulled back and showed his hands. “One to hold your hand, and one to hold
Yeosang’s hand. No room for any more than that.” San smiled proudly as Wooyoung blushed and
buried into his neck, trying to hide that he had actually found it sweet.

After a moment, he spoke again. “I’m not ready to tell anyone. Not about us, or me being gay, or
anything like that.”

“Okay. I understand.” San hummed. “I’m guessing that means to keep the touching to a minimum
out in public.”

Wooyoung scoffed. “Is all you think about is touching?”

“It’s how I show my affection.” He whined, pouting. “And flirting profusely.”

The boy in his arms sighed again, sounding tired of it all. “What have I done?”

“Oh, should I not touch you in private either?” His voice lowered, and he drug his nails down his
spine, causing the boy to gasp as his body arched.

“San!” He scolded him, but the tone was weak, and he only tried to bury his face more in his neck.

Smiling proudly. “I’ve never touched a guy like this before, or a girl.”

“Wait.” Wooyoung pulled back, finally looking at him, looking shocked. “You’re a virgin?”

“Yeah.”

His eyes narrowed, as if not believing him. “So what all have you done?”

San, amused with the questioning, only shrugged. “I’ve kissed, that’s all.”

Scoff. “You’re lying.”

“I am not.” He laughed, fully thrilled by the way he looked suspicious. “I swear. I kinda wish I did
do stuff with the girls I’ve dated. Maybe I would’ve realized I was gay quicker. Could have saved
me a lot of time.”

That made Wooyoung laugh, rolling his eyes and returning his face to his neck. In a shocking turn
of events, the boy suddenly bites his neck, sending all kinds of heat through San’s body. “You’re
annoying.”

His eyes clouded as he felt the hot breath against the cool saliva left behind. “Wooyoung. Don’t
bite me again if you want to keep your own virginity intact.”

The body froze in his arms. “Sorry.”

“No, no. Please do it again.” He growled, leaning down to kiss under his ear. “I’m begging you.”

A calming palm is pressed against his chest. “I’m not ready for that.”

San thought about how he was the one who had to stop Wooyoung the night before, but made no
move to mention it or press the issues, relaxing back. “We should go see Yeosang.”

“Is he working tonight?”

“Yeah.”

He laughed. “Then how will we see him?”

“I know where he works.”

Wooyoung pulled back to look at him, frowning. “How do you know where he works? All he’s
ever told us is that it’s a noodle shop.”

His sudden realization of what he was about to confess caused his face to heat up. “I may or may
not have followed him once.” He coughed. “Or twice.”

The boy’s eyes widened, incredulous. “San, that’s stalking!”

Blushing, he only shrugged. “Do you wanna go?”

Wooyoung made a disgusted face at him, before rolling his eyes. “Yeah.”

Beaming, he pulled away and rolled off the bed. “Get dressed and look cute. He’s gonna be
awkward and a little mad, so just, lay the blame on me. I can handle it.”

“Already planned to, because it is your fault, you creep.” Wooyoung was up and moving though,
heading to shower.

Even though they were starting something new between them, the one thing they shared
completely was their love for Yeosang, and they were both excited to go see him.

~~~

Yeosang couldn’t focus.

It had been a normal work day, Seonghwa was there keeping him a little distracted with
meaningless conversation about school and life. His mind kept pulling him away into his worry
over his two friends. While he didn’t think anything bad would happen, he knew them well enough
to be apprehensive of the two of them alone together. Wooyoung was defensive and San could
sometimes overdo things.

Then, an hour into his shift, they walked through the doors.

He had been in the back, doing some dishes, when Seonghwa had sauntered back. “Your friends
are here?”

Yeosang looked over at him, frowning. “Friends?”

The older boy gave him a mock surprised look. “I know, I didn’t think you had any friends.”

He rolled his eyes, but knew who it was. It really couldn’t be anyone else. “Okay.”

“Are you going to go take their order and serve them?”

“I’m doing dishes.” Yeosang was suddenly too embarrassed and nervous to face them. If they were
here together then it was assumed that things were figured out, but why were they here?

Seonghwa watched him for a moment. “You’re a strange kid.”

He turned a pout toward him. “I’ll be out there when I’m done!.”

“Okay, okay.” The older boy gave him an amused smile before leaving the kitchen.

Unfortunately there wasn’t much left anyway, and he found himself drying his hands slowly to
draw out time. Taking a deep breath, he finally left the back and went out into the main room. Off
in a corner, drawing his attention straight away, he could see San teasing Wooyoung. He knew
them so well, he could almost imagine the words they were saying as Wooyoung obviously cursed
at him, making San laugh. It made his chest heat up, and he couldn’t stop the smile that came to
his lips.

Moving forward, he stopped at Seonghwa’s side. “Did you take their order?”

Without looking up from what he was doing, he shook his head. “They said they would wait for
you.”
“Assholes.” Yeosang muttered, earning a laugh from the other boy. Sighing, he grabbed a couple
menus and walked over to them, throwing the menus down on the table. “What are you doing
here?”

Wooyoung jumped, and immediately, after his words, looked guilty. San on the other hand
beamed. “We’re hungry and we wanted to see you.”

He hid the satisfaction that brought him, placing a hand on his hip. “So everything has been
worked through? No childish arguing anymore?”

San snorted. “I don’t know if I would use the word childish, though Wooyoung is a bit of a…” He
looked up, seeing Wooyoung waiting with a look that said ‘go on, say something, I dare you’ with
a look of expectation and pure evil intention. Swallowing, he smiled awkwardly. “Everything is
great.”

Taking in the awkward tension and strange sense of something else going on, Yeosang decided he
would just be happy they were getting along. Well, he thinks they're getting along, he can’t really
tell at that moment. “Okay, but why are you bothering me at work? How’d you even find out
where I work?” He accused.

Wooyoung was the one to turn his comment back on him. “Why do you want to keep your life
secret from us, huh? We’re your friends, friends come to see their friends at work. They know
where each other lives. They hang out more than once every two weeks outside of school.”

He had expected this day to come, when his holding back would cause too much frustration, but it
was still awkward to be called out at work. “I like my personal space and privacy.”

“I also like your personal space.” San tried to give a flirting smirk, but got two glares in return
which made his smile falter and he picked up the menu. “Wow, this one looks good.”

Returning to the conversation, Wooyoung gave him a heartfelt look. “I get that, but we want to see
you more. So either you start being a better friend, or we start being bad friends and just showing
up unannounced.” He narrowed his eyes, like a scolding mother who couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“And get a phone! So we don’t have to just show up, or worry if you don’t come to school, or so
we can know if something happens. You can’t even call the paramedics or police if something
happened to you or someone else.”

Yeosang was both annoyed at his demands, and touched by how obvious it was that he cared and
worried about him. Deflating a bit, he pouted. “I hate phones.”

“I don’t care anymore. You only have us, so you have to be able to contact us whenever you need
us.” Once the words fell out, his eyes widened.

The tension settled between them, even San looking a bit shocked that Wooyoung was the one to
say something like that. Yeosang on the other hand felt overwhelmed as his heart swelled. It was
unspoken common knowledge between them that he was wholly alone, with no help, and quite
literally all he had were his two friends in front of him, trying to take care of him and showing him
how deeply they cared about him. For the first time in a long time, he realized he wasn’t actually
alone anymore.

Holding back tears, he nodded, smiling weakly. “You’re right. I should get a phone.” Taking a deep
breath, he rose from the table. “I know what you’ll like. I’ll just order something for you.” Then he
turned, leaving his two worried friends behind as he ran to the kitchen and cried.
A couple minutes passed, as the tears would stop fucking coming, and Seonghwa walked in
slowly, giving him a worried look. “Should I make them leave?”

He turned, shaking his head, laughing through the tears. “No.”

“What did they say? If they’re being rude or mean I can ma-”

Yeosang shook his head. “They’re not being rude, they’re being amazing and it’s too much.” More
tears fell as it hit him afresh, and he laughed in embarrassment.

Laughing at the ridiculousness of it, Seonghwa stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. “I told
you it all is better with some really good friends.” After a few moments, he pulled back and rubbed
his arms. “I’ll get their food so you can take a few more minutes to get yourself together.”

Yeosang laughed through a sob, and told him what to make, and the older boy left him alone. He
stood there for a while, after the food had already gone out, and his tears had slowed to only an
occasional one would fall. His heart was so light, and yet held in place by the love he felt in return
from his friends. They really meant everything to him, and it was so overwhelming when he faced
those feelings.

Finally getting some control over himself and his feelings, he walked back out to find Seonghwa
standing by their table, laughing and talking. For a moment he was nervous, but then he shook
himself. There was no reason to hide or keep secrets anymore. As he watched them all talk and
laugh, he realized maybe it was time to be more open with them. There were things all of them
knew, but never talked about for fear of his own emotions. It was time to get over that.

Moving forward, he watched a pair of people settle into an empty table and he picked up some
menus. When he passed by his friends, he lightly called out. “Wow, it seems I’m the only one
working right now.” Then he went and greeted the customers, looking over to see Seonghwa
rolling his eyes, but moving away to help others.

When it was time for him to take a break, the shop slowed down a bit, he went back over and sat
with his friends who had been very well behaved. Reaching out, he grabbed Wooyoung’s
chopsticks and picked some food for himself from what they hadn’t finished, popping it into his
mouth. “Are you going to be here all night?”

The two watched him eat, San smirking, and Wooyoung shook his head. “No, we’re probably
gonna leave soon.”

San hummed. “I could come give you a ride home later.”

Yeosang rolled his eyes. “It’s a ten minute walk that I make all the time. Seonghwa will give me a
ride if I don’t walk.”

His eyes darted over to the older boy, and San raised an eyebrow. “He’s very handsome, and he
seems to be very fond of you. Better not be trying anything, I’ll have to fight him.”

Face burning dark at the barely veiled implications of San’s own emotions, Yeosang glared at him.
“It’s not like that.”

San shrugged, looking pleased. “Good.”

Wooyoung, letting out an exasperated sigh, waved a hand at the both of them. “That’s it, it’s time
to leave.”
The boy started to pout, but seemed to think better of it with the stern look both of them were
giving him. Yeosang relaxed a bit and then chewed his cheek. “Do you guys wanna go with me to
get a phone this weekend?”

“Absolutely.” San spoke immediately, and Wooyoung hummed his agreement.

They cleared up the table for Yeosang and bid farewell to Seonghwa and left the shop.

The boy found him later in the kitchen at the end of the night doing dishes. “Those boys seem very
nice.”

“They’re mostly annoying.” He grumbled, but it was playful more than serious.

Seonghwa smiled, leaning against the counter. “They seem to care a lot about you.” Yeosang
hummed, feeling a shy heat rise to his face. “Are your friends…” His tone became strange and he
looked over, and Seonghwa laughed, waving a hand, seeming to change his mind. “Never mind.
They seem cool.”

“Yeah… okay.” Yeosang watched him disappear, confused, but decided it wasn’t important
enough to give any thought.

When he made it home that night, he checked his money and budget and realized he unfortunately
could afford a cheap phone. Then he thought about who he was going with and wondered how
much arguing will happen before he inadvertently gives in and lets them buy him a better phone.
Why did he invite them, because now there was no taking it back and they would both throw a
tantrum if he ended up going without them.

Sigh.

~~~

Wooyoung pushed San’s face away as he moved closer. “My parents are home.”

The boy pouted. “Just one little kiss goodnight?”

He glared at him, looking out the car window at his house. Making a frustrated noise, he leaned
forward and kissed him on the cheek. “That’s all you get.”

San’s mouth fell open in wonder, and his hand rose to hold his cheek. “I didn’t think you would
actually kiss me.”

Rolling his eyes, he opened the door. “Bye, San.”

“Bye, baby.” He smiled.

Wooyoung pretending to gag. “Ew, no pet names.”

Another round of pouting. “You’re no fun. Get out of my car.”

“You mean your mom’s car.” He teased back, finally exiting the vehicle. It looked like San was
going to say something more, but he shut the door before he could get anything out. Feeling proud,
he walked away and into his house.

Into a trap.

When he walked past the front room, he froze as he saw his parents waiting patiently on the couch.
Their eyes focused on him, looking very stern and expectant. Oh no. Smiling awkwardly, he
walked into the room. “Umm, what’s going on?”

His dad sighed, looking annoyed that he didn’t already know. “First you sneak in a friend last
night, waking us up with yelling, and then today we get a call that you skipped school.”

“Ah, yeah…” Wooyoung knew this might take a minute, so he walked over and sat in an opposite
chair, ready to be scolded. “I wasn’t feeling well today.”

Raising an eyebrow, his mother gave him a once over. “Why didn’t you say anything? You look
fine enough to go out with your little friends. Wasn’t that the car that picked you up yesterday? So
it was the same boy you snuck in?”

His face was burning with embarrassment, and he swallowed. “He came to apologize and then took
me to eat cause I hadn’t eaten all day.”

Both his parents shared a look. Finally, his mom took a deep breath. “Wooyoung, is San your
boyfriend?”

Wooyoung’s mouth fell open, and he suddenly became very dizzy as all the blood rushed from his
face and he felt like he was going to vomit. He shook his head vehemently. “No. No, he’s just a
friend. It’s not…” His words faded as he saw the unconvinced look on their faces. “I’m not…” He
felt like he was going to pass out.

His mother, seeing the fear taking over, moved forward and wrapped her arms around her son.
“Oh, honey, enough of this. We know. It’s okay. We know, and it’s okay, and you don’t need to be
afraid of us. We’re your parents, you think we couldn’t tell long ago.” She pulled back, grabbing
his face and forcing him to look at her. Her eyes were swimming, and she shook her head. “We
were waiting for you to tell us, but you’ve been distancing yourself and not talking to us, and we’re
just worried about you.”

It was all too much, he wanted to run, he wanted to hide. He wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready. When
would he ever be ready? He broke down, the tears coming too quickly to stop. “I… I’m not…”

“Stop it.” She gave him a stern shake. “We heard enough last night.” His stomach did a somersault
and he felt it rise into his throat. Her face turned kind and sad. “We just want to make sure you’re
not dating some asshole.”

Sobbing, he couldn’t help but laugh at the horror and ridiculousness of it all. “What?”

His father gave him a stern look. “You weren’t exactly quiet. We didn’t hear it all, but it was
enough to know you were arguing about another boy.” His father was still where he stood, mostly
silent, letting his wife take control, but watching with a similar stern and worried look.

Wooyoung felt like he wanted to pull the pin on a grenade and blow himself up. “We’re not
dating.” The words come out choked.

She nodded. “Then you like each other but there’s another boy in the way? Yeosang?”

How the hell did they know so much? How loud were they? The blood rose back to his face in
embarrassment. “Mom, I can’t… I don’t want…”

Hugging him again, she sighed. “I’m sorry for confronting you like this. We’re just worried about
you, honey.”
He fell into her arms and let the sobs wrack through him fear and relief a strange mix in his chest.
“I’m gay.” He said it out loud for the first time to anyone besides Yunho.

She laughed. “And we love you.”

They stayed like that for a while, not moving, not talking, only holding each other as his father
stood off to the side. He wasn’t surprised about that, his father always being kind but more stoic in
these kinds of situations. Eventually, whoever knew how long later, he pulled back, wiping his
face, looking into his mother’s kind face.

“I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long.”

“Barely.” His father barked out a laugh. “We always wondered, but then you brought Yeosang
home and then didn’t shut up about him. Then this San boy. It was hard to ignore.”

He covered his face in his hands. “Can I go to my room?”

There was a pause of silence, before his mother sighed. “Yeah.” He rose to leave but she grabbed
his hand, holding him for a moment. “We love you.” He smiled weakly, and when she let go, he
ran away.

In his room, door shut, he paced back and forth freaking the fuck out. It was done. He was out to
his parents. They weren’t mad, and they were the ones to start the conversation. They were
worried that San was treating him badly because they thought he was his boyfriend. It was all so
much to take in, and he ended up laughing like a crazy person. That’s it, they know, they know
he’s gay.

He fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, and cried again.

Sometime later, his dad knocked on the door. When he came in, he had a bowl of food in his hand.
Wooyoung was snuggled up in his blankets staring at the wall and rethinking everything he had
ever said or done in front of his parents, realizing he had indeed been obvious without realizing it.

His father walked over and sat the food on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. “So…”
He started awkwardly, not looking at his son. “Is San a good guy?”

Wooyoung barked out an exhausted laugh. “We were arguing because I’m the mess, not him. He’s
a really good person.”

“So are you guys…”

God, this was so awkward. “Yes and no. We both like Yeosang, but we also like each other. It’s
confusing.” It was so amazing to be able to speak freely, even if that lump of apprehension and fear
was still lodged in his gut.

Letting out a deep breath, he seemed to suddenly realize he was way out of his depth. Wooyoung
watched, amused as he realized maybe he had given a little too much to his father who was just
trying to be a good dad. “Sounds like it.” After a few moments of awkward silence, he nodded.
“You’re okay though? I don’t need to kick anyone’s ass?”

He sobbed out a laugh. “I can handle it, dad. If anyone deserves to have their ass kicked, it’s me,
honestly.”

“Hmmf.” Dad grunt. “Well, you have to go back to school tomorrow.”

Wooyoung nodded. “Yeah. I know.”

“Okay.” Sighing, he stood and made to leave. “Your mom made that specially for you, so you
better eat it all.” He turned and smiled warmly. “Goodnight.”

He smiled back. “Goodnight dad.”

It was like a fever dream, how years of fear and self torture could so suddenly be released. He had
never felt so light before. There was no way he was ready to come out to anyone at school, but
having his parents know was all he really needed. Wooyoung thought of San, and how his caring
so much about him and Yeosang had inadvertently caused this to happen. He hated that he was
thankful.

Pulling out his phone, he went to his most recent contact, and pressed call.

~~~

San was currently laying in Hongjoong’s bed as his friend typed away at his computer. His mind
was filled with memories of the day, and he was scrolling through the pictures from the
amusement park. The smile that played on his lips was dropped when he saw Wooyoung calling.

He sat up, looking down at his phone. “He’s calling me.”

“Who?” Hongjoong’s half interested voice asked, not looking away from his computer screen.

“Wooyoung. He’s never even texted me.” Why was his heart racing?

Hongjoong looked over finally, raising an eyebrow. “So answer it.”

“Right.” He clicked answer, moving it to his ear, nerves shaking his hand a little. Why was he so
nervous? “Hello?”

His soft voice was rough, as if he’d been crying. “Hey, what are you doing?”

San fell back on the bed, arm behind his head as he looked at the ceiling. “At Hongjoong’s. Why
do you sound like you’ve been crying?”

“You know my crying voice that well already? Maybe you should stop making me cry.” The boy
teased through the phone.

He laughed, face pinkening. “I'm sorry.” The boy hummed a response. “So what’s going on? Did
you get in trouble?”

“Uh, kinda, but not really. I came out to my parents.”

San sat back up, body rigid in nerves. “Oh shit. Are you okay?”

A laugh made its way through the phone. “Well, they kind of confronted me about it. But
everythings actually really good. So good it feels fake.”

Relaxing, he fell back again. “So they know you're gay and it’s all good? They're not freaked or
anything?”

“Well, they said they had guessed for a while.”

“Oh.”
“Yeah, but it’s kind of your fault they confronted me.” The half serious tease made him nervous.

Chewing his lip, he asked nervously. “Because of the fighting last night?”

“Mhmm. They thought we were dating and you upset me and they wanted to make sure I wasn’t
dating an asshole.”

Barking out a laugh in surprise, he rolled over to hide his face. “Did you tell them we were dating
but I’m actually a good boyfriend?”

The loud laughter on the other end made him pout. “No. We’re not dating.” There was a pause,
before he said more seriously. “But I did tell them you’re a really good guy.”

San’s heart felt like it might burst, his cheeks hurt from smiling so big. “So you can introduce me
to your parents.”

“Absolutely not.” He scolded, and San could imagine the frown.

“Well, it’ll happen eventually.”

Soft laughter kissed his ear. “You sound so sure.”

“I am.”

Another long pause of silence. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

He wanted to keep hearing his voice, but he didn’t say anything. “Okay. See you tomorrow.” The
line went dead, and he rolled back on his back, smiling like an idiot.

Hongjoong cleared his throat, drawing his attention. “So now you’re talking to Wooyoung.” It
wasn’t a question.

San smiled, pinkening a bit. “Don’t bring it up around them, but yeah, I guess. We kissed.”

“Oh.” He looked surprised. “Well, I guess you really are gay, and a bit of a whore.”

His mouth fell open in shock. “What? No I’m not.”

Hongjoong didn’t look convinced. “So is it Yeosang or Wooyoung?”

“Both.” He said it with a look of ‘fight me’.

Only nodding, he turned back to his computer. “That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Not to me. It’s the best, and when we can finally have Yeosang it’ll be amazing.” San’s eyes
swam with excitement.

His friend sighed. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.” He looked over, seeing his friend’s
happiness clear on his face. “I’m glad. The old you sucked.”

San could only laugh, warm at the harsh way Hongjoong showed his love for his friend.

~~~

Yeosang took notice of the ways his friend’s were slowly changing. They were closer, and San had
become far more affectionate to Wooyoung, who seemed to begrudgingly accept it. Over the
 course of the school week, it was obvious something had transpired as his best friend seemed to
have found a way out of his own shell.

Wooyoung looked so much freer, smiling more, laughing more. It was a bit overwhelming
sometimes, seeing him so happy. He supposed he didn’t realize how held back and burdened he
had been until it was obvious a weight had been lifted. Yeosang didn’t question him about it, only
allowing himself to be happy to see his friend in a new phase of life it seemed.

San was recently more focused on Wooyoung, and though it did make him a little jealous, which
was strange, it also warmed him. He had caught San staring at Wooyoung in the same way he
would look at Yeosang. It was strange, but then Wooyoung would notice, and blush, and push his
face away and Yeosang would smile. He wasn’t sure what was going on between them, but
something in his gut knew. They had something, and he was happy for them.

Then the weekend came, and as he had expected, they forced his hand by allowing them to buy
him a phone. His birthday was a few days away, and he had hoped they would forget, but they
didn’t. Now he was on edge, knowing they would try to make something happen. A part of him
was adverse to the idea, and the other part was happy he wouldn’t have to spend it alone.

His last birthday had been spent in a hospital, next to his sick mother.

So he accepted his lot in life, waiting for it, but when it came, it was simple and sweet. They had
come over after school, with a cake, and had simply spent the day with him. It was a wonderful
night of talking, relaxing, and just enjoying each other’s company. There was a moment where San
had laid his head in Wooyoung’s lap, and he had watched the boy play with his hair for a while,
seeming not to notice what they were even doing.

It made his heart warm so much, he almost cried.

Chapter End Notes

Here's a cute little chapter for your Tuesday.

Writing coming out scenes is always an awkward experience, they just always feel
weird.

I mean, I guess that's also how they feel irl, not right and a little weird lol. I came out
when I was 15, and it wasn't as cute as the fanfictions, books, and movies lol. Well,
good thing I get to write happier stories for my characters.
 Bad Friend
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Finals.

Hell.

The week leading up to it was quite simply, not fun. Yeosang, of course, became a hermit once
again. San and Wooyoung only saw him before and after school in the library while studying,
because god forbid they could pull him from his notes to go to lunch. They often had to come back
and bring him food and force him to eat, because he would get so focused on studying that he
would forget.

To add to the stress, Wooyoung and Yeosang were forcing San to care about his grades. It was
torture. He only wanted to be around his boys, but it turned into him being force tutored. He wasn’t
an idiot by all means, but he was a bit behind compared to all of his friends who found themselves
in the top thirty of their grade. He had been cursed for falling in love with two intelligent creatures
that would take nothing but the top grades or die trying.

They only wanted the best for him, they would argue.

You’re already the best for me , he would argue back in his head.

Summer break was the only thing keeping him going through it all. He had been planning a
weekend away at his father’s lake house. Unfortunately, what he had kind of hoped would be a
romantic get away with his boys, turned into Yunho being invited, and then Hongjoong. He wasn’t
exactly mad, because he knew it would still be a great time, and he knew he would find time to be
with Wooyoung and Yeosang.

Though Yeosang of course was probably unaware of his plans, Wooyoung was fully aware and
judging him.

“You should invite Mingi.” He had commented one afternoon, San’s head annoyingly in his lap as
they studied at Wooyoung’s while Yeosang was at work.

His parents had accepted San’s existence, but there had been a stop to staying the night, which he
hated, but didn’t argue. They were pretty great though, and he envied Wooyoung for having such
amazing parents. It was one of those things where Wooyoung didn’t realize how good he had it,
because he had always had it, but San found himself wanting to be there more and more. Seeing
the family love each other had become one of his safe spaces.

San frowned. “I haven’t talked to Mingi in weeks.” He huffed. “He didn’t like that I was hanging
with you guys, so good riddance.”

“Wasn’t that after he thought your girlfriend was cheating on you with Yeosang?” Wooyoung
asked, absently dropping a slice of apple into San’s mouth.

Chewing thoughtfully, he hummed. “It wasn’t really his business, and he kind of egged me on to
mess with Yeosang.”

“I saw him sitting at lunch alone today. He looked lonely. Has Hongjoong not even been hanging
out with him?” Wooyoung looked down at him.

Why was he so worried about Mingi? “If they do, it’s when I’m not around.”

“Wasn’t he one of your best friends?”

San sat up, frowning at him. “Why are you suddenly asking about Mingi?”

He shrugged. “I just feel bad for him. His only friends left him for some people he thought were
going to ruin his best friend's relationship, and suddenly he’s alone and you guys have just moved
on.” Wooyoung sighed. “Do you not miss him at all?”

Licking his lips, he looked away. Of course he missed his friend, but he also was scared to have
him around. Not because he was afraid he would have negative things to say about his sexuality, or
the people he loved, but because of how he might hurt those people. Mingi was someone who said
what he thought, whether good or bad, and questioned things. Like, if he noticed something
between San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung, he might just say it out loud.

“Wooyoung, I would have to tell him the truth, because he’s the type to just call out what he sees.”
The boy nodded, giving an understanding sigh. “We can’t hide from him, when it comes to social
relationships, he’s smart, he’s going to catch on quickly. I don’t want to have to hide, cause then
everyone will notice something is different or wrong, plus we’ve gotten so far and everyone knows
about us already.”

His boy gave him a look. “What do you mean everyone knows?”

San rolled his eyes. “Well no one has said it, but everyone knows we’re together. Everyone knows
we’ve had feelings for Yeosang. Also, Hongjoong knows everything about me, and Yunho about
you.” He huffed. “Only Mingi wouldn’t know.”

Giving him a long look, looking a little freaked out for a moment, he finally sighed, nodding. “Do
you think he would tell people?”

Surprised, he frowned, but shook his head. “Not if I tell him not to. He’s a bit of a mouthy
dumbass, but he’s not a huge asshole.”

Wooyoung nodded. “So tell him.”

Taken aback, he leaned back and looked over his boy’s face. “Who are you and what have you
done with my boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend.” He huffed, but didn’t argue the word. San had been saying it when they were alone,
and at first Wooyoung denied any such thing, but he’s obviously tired of arguing. “If you trust him
not to cause issues, then I trust your judgment.”

San felt his heart swim at those words. “I love you.”

Wooyoung’s eyes widened, and he turned to look at him. “What?”

Beaming. “I love you so much.” He pounced on him, kissing all over his face. “I love you. I love
you. I love you.” After each kiss he confessed, sending Wooyoung’s face burning bright red.

He didn’t say it back, but San was happy enough to confess without needing it back.

So that’s how he found himself going off to find Mingi.

The Friday before finals, Hongjoong, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Yunho were sheltered away in the
library, and he finally got a chance to run away. He had given some excuse about needing to do
something at his home, his actual home, and the boys had waved him away. There was a sourness
in his words for lying, but dammit, if he sat through one more math lesson with Yeosang frowning
at him, he was going to break down and cry.

He hadn’t planned for this to be the moment, but he was normally always busy with one of his
friends, so it was the first time in a while he was by himself. Casually, he pulled out his phone and
dialed his number. It didn’t go through at first, ringing and ringing until he had to hang up.
Frowning, he tried again.

Eventually, Mingi answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, come get dinner with me, I’m starving. It’s on me.” He spoke casually, not wanting to make
it seem like a big deal.

The line was silent for a moment. “Aren’t you busy with your new friends?”

Sighing, trying to keep down the irritation, he shrugged even though he wasn’t there. “You want to
meet at the usual place?”

“Are we going to have a real talk about what’s going on? You haven’t spoken to me in months.”

Has it been months? San felt really terrible suddenly. “Yeah, of course. And you’re going to stuff
your face with meat. Sound like a plan?”

A soft laugh was heard from the other end, and he felt the tiniest bit relieved. “Yeah, I’ll be there
in thirty.” Then he hung up.

San laughed, and started making his way there. He was close enough that he could walk and still
be there early. Where Mingi was, he had no clue, but he doubted he was on campus if school was
already out. So he took in the warm sun and cool breeze and tried to fight back the nerves that were
threatening to curb his appetite. Sure, Wooyoung had given him permission to talk about it all, if
he trusted him, but suddenly he was worried he couldn’t. Telling people he, San, was gay or dating
a guy was no issue, he didn’t care, but he did care about how it would affect the rest of them.

When he arrived at their usual place, he was surprised to find Mingi already there. A waitress was
there taking his order already, and from the looks of it, he was taking full advantage of San paying.
Rolling his eyes, he walked up and took the seat across from him, and ordered a drink from the
waitress.

“Did you want anything?” Mingi asked, handing over the menu, an innocent look on his face.

San only smiled, shaking his head. “I’m sure you already ordered for me.”

He smirked, handing the menu to the waitress. “That’ll be all, thank you.” Then he settled back
into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Alright, let’s hear it. Why you threw me aside
and replaced me?”

Groaning at what was obviously going to be a frustrating conversation, he shook his head at him.
“Hey, you saw me hanging out with Yeosang and then got mad and left. Haven’t heard from you
since. Sure, I didn’t message you either, so we’re both bad friends, right?”

Mingi nodded slowly. “Yeah. I guess so.” He sighed. “I’ve seen you around with them. Kind of
hard not to notice that you look happy.”
“I am. Very much so.” San kept his face impassive, but he almost smiled thinking of them and how
they had changed everything for him.

“Well, isn’t that great for you.” He huffed, reaching out for his drink that the waitress brought and
placed in front of him. “What makes them that great?”

San laughed. “I can’t really explain it. I just found a new me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “A new you? What does that mean?”

“Mingi, I’m gay.”

Coughing on his drink, he beat his chest while giving him a wide eyed look. “What?”

He shrugged, smiling. “I’m gay. I’m dating a guy. I’ve never been happier.”

Mingi frowned. “Yeosang?”

“Uh, no, not Yeosang. Wooyoung.” He watched his face morph in confusion, taking it in. “Don’t
tell anyone else, because he’s not ready.”

There’s a few moments of silence, while it looked like he was rethinking everything he knew.
“Then why are you telling me?”

“Because you’re my friend, and I want you to know why things have changed. I feel terrible that
you’ve felt ostracized and that I haven’t reached out to you. You and Hongjoong were the only
friends I had for a very long time and I shouldn’t have let that happen.” He smiled sadly. “I’ve
missed you, if I’m being honest. I didn’t realize until today.”

Mingi sat for a long moment, staring at him, face seeming unable to settle on one emotion. “Were
you scared to tell me?”

“Not for my sake. I was worried you might do something out of anger if you knew while you were
mad at me. I didn’t want you to make it harder on them.” San’s face was composed, but his
stomach was twisting tightly.

He sighed. “You really thought I was that shitty of a person to do something to hurt my friend?”

San shook his head. “I hoped not, but I also didn’t think we would not be talking for this long. I
thought eventually you would come find me.”

Biting his lip, he looked away, thinking. When he looked back, he nodded. “So, you’re gay.”

“So gay.” He laughed.

Mingi let a smile slip out, rolling his eyes. “When did you know?”

“Shortly after breaking up with Jangmi.”

He frowned. “Does she know?”

“Oh god no.” San waved a hand, laughing awkwardly. “I apologized for how I was while we were
dating and during that jealousy phase, but we haven’t talked since. We weren’t exactly as close as
I’d thought.”

“Huh.” Mingi stopped talking while a shit ton of food was placed on the table, giving San a wink
as it kept coming. The boy only rolled his eyes, not commenting on how expensive the bill would
be. Eventually they were left alone again, and both began to dig in. “So what’s it like dating a
guy?”

San hummed in thought before answering, finishing the food in his mouth. “Not that I ever had a
healthy relationship with a girl, I’d assume it would be the same, but it’s amazing. Wooyoung is
mouthy, and mean, and teases me.” Mingi’s eyebrows rose. “But he’s also pushed me to be a better
person, he’s sweet, he feeds me, he’s a great cook.”

As he’s talking, visions of Yeosang also float in his mind, and he realizes he’s talking about both
without telling Mingi. “He’s smart, like basically the top of his class. I’ve never felt more alive, or
so filled with love for someone before. Meeting them was life changing.” Mingi didn’t seem to
notice his accidental plural pronoun change.

Mingi’s chopsticks were frozen between his teeth, giving him a disgusted look. “Ew, shut up
before I either barf or cry out of jealousy.”

His tease eased so much tension in his chest. “Like I said, I’ve never been happier.”

“Uh huh.” Returning to eating, he continued to ask questions as they ate. “Who all knows you’re
gay?”

“Hongjoong was the first person I told.”

He laughed. “How did the robot take it?”

“With ease. He had some questions, but didn’t question me, if you know what I mean.”

Mingi nodded. “Anyone else?”

“Uh, really the only people I’ve told are you, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung, but I’m pretty sure
Yunho and Yeosang know without it being said. It’s a lot of ‘we know, but don’t talk about it’.

“Like your parents?” Mingi jabbed, looking impassive.

“Ouch.” His lips thinned, but he nodded. “Yeah, kind of like that.”

Nodding, Mingi seemed to relax, apparently needing to hurt him just enough to overcome whatever
anger he had leftover. “So we know, but we don’t talk about it?”

“Preferably. It’s strange, and annoying, but it keeps the peace for the moment. There’s other things
going on that keep the tension precarious.” He said honestly, not wanting to give too much away.

Mingi raised an eyebrow. “So you’re saying, if I see something, keep it to myself.”

“Or bring it to me, but please don’t spout whatever pops into your head.” San laughed, halfway
joking as he begged. “Just, think your thoughts through first.”

Rolling his eyes, he waved a hand at him. “Got it, got it.” He took a sip of his drink. “So like…
what’s the…” Mingi gave him a suggestive look and poked his forefingers together. “You know.”

San barked out a surprised laugh, shaking his head. “I don’t know yet. We haven’t got that far. Just
kissing and cuddling.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Still holding on tight to that v-card I see.”

“Not for lack of trying.”

It was Mingi’s turn to bark out a laugh. “Got yourself a prude for a boyfriend, huh? Thought you
liked those types of girls, what makes the boys different?”

San hissed in a breath, a little embarrassed he was having this conversation, though he couldn’t
have it with anyone else. Hongjoong didn’t care about the sexual side of the conversation. “Prudish
girlfriends were great when I was subconsciously unwilling to have sex with women, but now…”
He sighed. “It’s driving me up the wall. I just want to f…”

“Okay, okay.” Mingi waved a hand to stop him. “I get it, no need for details.” As if forgetting what
he had just said, he leaned forward, giving him a conspiratorial look. “So like, are you wanting to
be the fucker or the fucked?”

Unable to control his loud laughter, San pulled attention and had to apologize at his outburst to the
people around them. Leaning in, he gave Mingi a stern look. “I honestly don’t know. It all kind of
seems exciting.”

Mingi was in awe and horror. “Even taking it in the ass sounds ‘exciting’?

He shrugged. “A little bit, yeah.”

His friend sat back, mind blown. “Damn, you are gay.”

“Yeah, that’s the poi…” He couldn’t even finish the sentence, laughter taking control.

They stayed there for another hour, talking back and forth. Mingi had a million questions about the
whole gay thing, his relationship, and other sexual questions that San couldn’t really answer at the
moment. Eventually they had been talking over the rest of the untouched food for a while when
San got a text from Wooyoung saying he was going to be finishing up soon and if everything was
cool.

Looking back up at his friend, who gave the phone a knowing look, he huffed. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Mhmm.”

Mingi nodded, smiling. “I’m happy for you, San. A little confused and surprised, but I’m happy for
you.”

Oh, there will eventually be more to be confused about. “Thank you man. By the way, we’re all
heading out to my dad’s lakehouse for a weekend during summer break. We’re not sure the length
just yet, really kind of depends.” He paused, giving him a serious look. “You’re invited. It’d be
cool if you came.”

Taking a deep breath, hand on his stomach, he nodded slowly. “Sounds fun.”

San beamed. “Cool. Now, it is finals, so I’m still going to be a bit distant.”

“You don’t care about finals.”

He sighed. “Unfortunately, part of the life changing part.”

“Yikes, well, good luck. Keep me updated with the details for summer.”
Standing, he clapped hands with him. “It’s good to have you back, man.”

Mingi smiled. “I’m glad to be missed.”

San rolled his eyes, paid the bill, and left, feeling lighter than ever.

~~~

Yeosang was becoming exhausted by the day.

It was his final day at work on the weekend before finals, where he wouldn’t work at all. He
walked into work, and began as he always did. After being there for a few hours, he noticed that
Seonghwa seemed in the dumps. Eventually the rush slowed down, and he had time to head to the
back to do dishes, where he found the older boy on his phone looking upset.

“What’s going on?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes and tossing his phone on the counter. “My summer plans got canceled. I
was going to travel with a couple people, but they bailed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Seonghwa shrugged. “It is what it is.”

There were a few moments of silence before he bit his lip. “Ummm, me and my friends are going
to one of their parent’s lake house for a long weekend. Do you want to go?”

The older boy laughed. “Go to a lake house with a bunch of highschoolers?” He sighed. “How old
are you all?”

Yeosang found himself a bit embarrassed for even offering. “Wooyoung will be the only seventeen
year-old. The rest of us are eighteen already. Well, San will be before the trip happens.”

“Oh. I guess I just assumed you were all way younger.” He hummed to himself, thinking. “Will
there be alcohol?”

He looked over frowning. “Umm, I don’t know, but I guess if you wanted to bring some…”

Giving him a teasing smile, he dipped his head. “Have you even ever had alcohol, Yeosang?”

“No.” He grew defensive, but he didn’t know why. “It’s not like I’ve ever been given the chance. I
just turned eighteen.”

“Hmm.” Seonghwa pursed his lips, watching him do the dishes while he thought. “Yeah, sure. I’ll
go.”

Yeosang gave him a surprised look. “Really? You want to go?”

“I won’t be doing anything else. Plus, I’ve met San and Wooyoung, I like them.”

He smiled. “Okay, cool. I’ll let them know.”

Seonghwa smiled. “Yeah, just text me the details and all that when it’s all figured out.”

Yeosang smiled and nodded.

~~~

On Monday, after their first day of exams ended, they all found themselves in the library preparing
for the next. Yeosang was so invested in studying that he had almost forgotten to tell them about
Seonghwa. Looking up, he found the table quiet. Hongjoong and Yunho were quietly scribbling
away next to each other, while Wooyoung was frustratingly trying to keep San focused.

“Oh, uh, hey guys.” They all looked up, beside Hongjoong who he knew was listening even if he
didn’t look. “I invited Seonghwa from my work.” There was a moment of confusion, then he
clarified. “Oh, on the lake house trip.”

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow. “He wants to hang out with a bunch of highschoolers?”

He laughed awkwardly. “Well, his summer plans got canceled, and I felt bad so I didn’t think it’d
be much of an issue. He’s just a year older than us.”

Yunho shrugged. “I don’t care, the more the merrier, I suppose.”

San sighed heavily. “Yeah, sure, more people.”

Frowning, Woyooung slapped his shoulder. Then he turned to Yeosang. “It's totally fine. He’s
cool, I’m sure he’ll fit in fine.”

Hongjoong finally looked up. “Um, also I have to bring Jongho along or I can’t go.”

San looked like he was going to explode. “Your sixteen year old brother who probably doesn’t
even want to go?!”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “We’ve taken him every other time, my parents expect it apparently.”

The group looked around, and Yeosang finally spoke. “It’s fine. He’s a quiet kid right?”

“Until there's karaoke.” San muttered.

Watching them all go back to studying, he felt nervous, why did San seem upset?

~~~

Finals were finally over.

The trip was planned for the weekend after finals ended, so they had time to fully decompress and
put their brains back in place. Even San, who seemed to want it to happen sooner, was happy to
sleep for the next few days. During that week they all got everything together, parents notified, and
stuff packed and bought.

Then, when Thursday came around, they all found themselves in front of Wooyoung’s place.

Yeosang and Wooyoung were sitting on the porch steps, watching Mingi and San argue over how
to pack the trunk of Mingi’s car. Yunho was helping Hongjoong load his car, in a far more calm
manner. Jongho, who seemed similar enough to Hongjoong, was chilling in his brother’s car,
earphones in and not causing any problems like San had made it out to be. Seonghwa hadn’t
arrived yet, but had said he was on his way.

Sighing heavily, Wooyoung leaned over and laid his head on his shoulder. “Are we going to regret
this?”
He laughed softly. “I think I’m going to ride with Seonghwa.”

Sitting up and glaring at him, Wooyoung pouted. “You’re going to leave me in a car with those
two boys?”

“So ride with me and Seonghwa, or Yunho and Hongjoong.” Yeosang laughed.

Clicking his tongue, he leaned back again. “San will be upset if I don’t ride with him. You too.”

Yeosang chewed his lip. “Well, I suppose he’ll have to get over it.”

A car only he recognized pulled up and Seonghwa, looking quite handsome in a button up and
jeans, stepped out. He was wearing sunglasses and he pushed them up into his hair, smiling as all
the boys turned to look at him. “What’s up?”

Standing, Yeosang helped with all the greeting and meeting, which was only awkward when Mingi
looked him up and down vaguely. Then he leaned in. “I’m riding with you. I’m not gonna be stuck
in a car with them.” He motioned toward San and Mingi who were aggressively laughing at
something on Mingi’s phone.

Snorting, he nodded. “I will gladly be your escape.” His eyes ventured toward Wooyoung, who
was glaring at the boys. “Does Wooyoung want to ride with us, too?”

“Probably, but he’s conflicted because of San.”

Seonghwa humfed, amused. “Riiigghhtt. Why?”

Yeosang didn’t know how to explain it to someone who wasn’t part of their group. “Well,
they’re…” He frowned. “They’re always together.”

“Hmm. Cute.” Clapping his hands, he looked over. “Are we leaving soon or?”

“Yes. Please let's get this over with.” Wooyoung called, heading for the car with Mingi and San.
There was an awkward moment that everyone saw, where Mingi and Wooyoung both reached for
the passenger seat handle, but Wooyoung’s stare seemed to have more power than Mingi’s because
he pulled his hand back, huffing and retreating to the back seat.

Seonghwa hummed, amused.

~~~

The car ride was just as awkward and terrible as Wooyoung was expecting.

Mingi apparently thought a road trip meant karaoke, which wasn’t a bad thing, and for the first
hour it was actually fun. He had been nervous about being around Mingi, but he sang well, he
picked good songs, and the three of them had a great time. Then the singing stopped, and the
conversation started.

“So… boyfriends.”

Wooyoung closed his eyes as the mischievous voice came from the back seat. “Yes, Mingi,
boyfriends.”

“That’s the first time he’s admitted it.” San said happily, either unaware of his mood or it was too
overshadowed by his joy of Wooyoung confirming the title.
“Well, that’s sweet.” Wooyoung could hear the forming of words that were going to give him a
headache. “So, have you guys figured out who’s the top and who’s the bottom yet?”

San choked on air, coughing, as he looked over at Wooyoung who’s eyes were closed, bringing a
hand up to his forehead. “Uh, Mingi, this isn’t a conversation we need to have.”

“So you’re still not fucking? That can’t be a good sign of a healthy relationship.” Ming’s tone was
conversational, which only made it worse. “I did some research, and apparently anal sex is-”

“Mingi!” San called out, shutting his friend up. “Shut up.”

Huffing, he crossed his arms and pouted, looking out the window. “I’m just trying to be a good
ally.”

Wooyoung was annoyed, and half amused that it actually seemed Mingi had done some amount of
research. “I appreciate the curiosity, but I will not be answering your questions, nor do I want to be
around when you ask them.”

“Then I’ll ask San later.”

Looking over, he gave his awkwardly smiling boyfriend a long look. “I don’t think San will have
your answers for quite some time.”

The sheer look of betrayal on San’s face could fuel Wooyoung’s teasing for days. San’s eyes
narrowed in the rearview mirror at his friend. “Mingi, if you don’t keep your goddamn mouth
shut.”

“Okay, okay. Jeez.”

The car was silent for the rest of the drive.

~~~

The car ride wasn’t as awkward as he was expecting. They listened to music, talked about finals
and work, and Yeosang genuinely felt comfortable. Until they were about an hour in, and
Seonghwa decided he had questions.

“So, are Wooyoung and San…”

Yeosang frowned. “Are they what?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Please tell me you’re not that blind.”

“Oh.” He blushed, looking out the window. “I think so. They haven’t really come out and said
anything definitive.”

The feeling of him watching him was obvious, so he turned and looked at him. Seonghwa looked
at him for a while before asking. “How do you feel about it?”

He smiled, genuinely. “It makes me happy. Like so happy.”

“Really?” Seonghwa looked surprised.

Yeosang shrugged, smiling as he thought of his friends. “They’re my favorite people. They’re the
best people I know. Having them go from silently fighting all the time, to suddenly feeling like
perfect matches for each other is great. Makes you have hope, you know.”
 He gave him a long look. “Hope?”

Smile weakening, he laughed awkwardly. “Hope that it’ll happen for all of us, someday.”

Seonghwa cursed. “Dammit, Yeosang, you’re gonna make me cry. This was supposed to be a fun
trip.”

Laughing at his reaction, he shook his head. “I am having fun.”

The older boy smiled at him. “Good. You deserve some fun.”

~~~

In the middle car, all was calm.

Hongjoong driving in comfortable silence.

Yunho asked Jongho what kind of music he wanted to listen to.

He answered.

He played the music.

They talked a little.

The time passed by peacefully.

Chapter End Notes

I got a few comments about being apprehensive for problems for the boys

Like, what problems...

This is just a cute story... why would there ever be problems... LOL.

Enjoy :)
 Fighting Over Rooms
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The lake house wasn’t as huge as Yeosang was expecting.

It was still a little uncomfortably large. Stepping inside, following the group of boys with San in
the lead, they walked in and found a comfy looking space of fluffy couches and chairs, the open
plan gave way to a large kitchen and a dining room set with a table big enough for the eight of
them. He moved into the front room, and took in the photos of San and his parents. It was the first
time he’s ever seen what they looked like.

Were they pretending to look happy?

San clapped his hand to draw everyone's attention. “I wasn’t expecting to have so many people, but
there are only three bedrooms, the one on the bottom floor is mine. Fight over the rest, I don’t
care.”

Seonghwa took off up the stairs, an evil grin on his face. Yunho was soon after, surprisingly, and
Mingi and Hongjoong gave each other scared looks before racing off after them. Wooyoung, not
surprisingly, grabbed his things and followed San to the main floor bedroom.

Jongho looked over at him. “Well, good thing we’re not the tall ones.” He moved his stuff over to
the smaller of the two couches. “I’ll take the smaller one.”

“You can have the big one if you want. I end up curled in on myself anyway.” Yeosang made his
moves to the smaller, which was still big enough to stretch out on anyway. Jongho didn’t argue,
moving his stuff over.

Sitting down, he looked up the stairs, not hearing anything. “Why does the silence make me
nervous?”

Jongho hummed. “Oh, Hongjoong and Mingi are for sure causing problems.”

Yeosang sighed.

~~~

Hongjoong walked into the room that was normally his and found Seonghwa splayed out on the
bed.

“This room is already claimed.” The tall figure put his arms behind his head, looking smug.

Straightening out his shoulders, he gave him a stern look. “This room is always my room when I
come here. Which has been for years.”

The older boy smirked. “Should have got here first.”

Trying to calm his frustration, he moved and dropped his bags next to Seonghwa’s. “Please.”

He looked like he was thinking, but that mischievous look in his mind made Hongjoong even more
irritated. “Fine, we can share the room.”
“No.” His stomach twisted. “I don’t share a bed with anyone.”

Moving off the bed, he patted his cheek, causing the boy to flush in surprise. “Then sleep on the
floor.” He moved past him, leaving a frustrated Hongjoong behind.

~~~

Yunho was already beginning to unpack his things when Mingi stumbled in.

“This room is taken.” Yunho said conversationally, not looking up.

The other boy glared at him. “Fuck off. This is my room, and has been for years. You don’t get to
lay claim.”

Finally turning, Yunho looked annoyingly calm. “San said ‘fight over the rest’. Are you ready to
fight?”

Mingi stalked forward, getting face to face with him. Annoyingly, he was the tiniest bit taller. They
stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, neither backing down. Finally, he smirked and
relaxed. Then moved and jumped on the bed. “Fine, I’ll share the bed with you if you want to that
badly.”

The boy narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want you in the same bed.”

“Too bad. Even if you lock the door, I know where the keys are, and I will be sleeping in my bed.”
Yunho huffed, turning around and leaving. “I like to cuddle.” He called out afterward, smiling,
hoping that was enough to get the boy out of his room.

~~~

Wooyoung had just sat his bags down on the ground when the door closed behind him.

He rolled his eyes as arms wrapped around his waist and a mouth pressed against the back of his
neck. “There are too many people in this house for you to be all over me right now.” But he didn’t
push him away, only turned his neck to the side to give him more access.

“The doors lock.” He whispered against his skin, kissing up his neck till he was pulling an earlobe
between his teeth.

Finally regaining control, Wooyoung turned in his arms and wrapped his arms around San’s neck,
giving him a serious look. “Lower your expectations of this trip, Sannie.”

His boyfriend pouted, arms losing some of their strength. “It was supposed to just be me, you, and
Yeosang. How did it turn into eight fucking people?”

Laughing softly, he reached up and laid a hand on his cheek. “Poor, horny baby. You will be fine.
It will be fun.”

“Locked door, Wooyo.” He pouted, trying to give him his best puppy dog eyes.

“Six pairs of ears, Sannie.” Wooyoung replied back, rolling his eyes.

San smirked, biting his lip. “I guess we should be worried about noise, especially when you get in
the mood. You almost ate me alive that first time just from making out.” His face burned bright red
and he pushed him away, moving to leave the room. San only laughed, turning to unpack their
things for the long weekend.
~~~

Yeosang and Jongho were bringing in the groceries they had stopped to get along the way into the
kitchen when Hongjoong and Yunho appeared at the same time, both looking irritated. They
silently joined in to unpacking the food as Wooyoung appeared, face looking a bit red. He
immediately began picking things out.

“I’m assuming there’s a grill here?” He asked, looking over at Hongjoong.

He nodded. “There’s a pretty nice setup on the patio out back.”

“Nice.” He began piling a bunch of meat on the counter. “I’m starving, so.”

Yunho began pulling out other things. “I’ll make some ramen and stuff to go with it.”

Yeosang grew excited at the prospect of food. “How is this place so clean?”

“Oh, San’s father has someone who comes out once a month to keep it clean and check up on the
place. You know, maintenance and all that.” Jongho said conversationaly, opening a bag of snacks
and eating, offering it out to others who also began to snack as they prepared.

Wooyoung and Yeosang made their way outside to a way too fancy grill and began preparing to
start cooking. Feeling a little useless, he stood off to the side and watched as he got it all going like
a pro. The smell of cooked meat eventually pulled others out of the house until.

By the time they were all gathered around the tables outside, eating and conversing, it was dark,
and San had to turn on the outside lights. The lake, which was only a couple hundred feet away,
reflected the moonlight and looked beautiful. Yeosang had never been this far out of the city in
years.

“Should I grab the alcohol?” Seonghwa asked, picking up a piece of meat and popping it into his
mouth.

Yeosang frowned. “You brought alcohol?”

San whooped. “I also brought alcohol.”

Hongjoong sighed. “Should’ve known.”

Some seemed open, like Mingi, others were a little unsure, like Wooyoung and Yeosang. “It’s
already so late, why don’t we just have a normal dinner before we bring out alcohol.”

“Boo.” Seonghwa didn’t fight much about it though, more interested in meat it seemed.

Leaning over, Yeosang whispered in his ear. “Um, Jongho is sixteen.”

He sighed. “I thought you said everyone was eighteen besides Woyooung?”

“He was a last minute addition.” Yeosang winced a bit, seeing his heavy sigh.

Instead, he shrugged. “Well, not much trouble to get up to out here in the middle of nowhere right?
I had my first drink at fifteen, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Uh, I guess.” He looked around nervously.

Seonghwa was looking at Hongjoong, who was silently eating. “I want to get that one wasted. He’s
too uptight and it bothers me.”

Surprised, he looked back and forth between them. “Have you even spoken yet?”

“Oh, we’ve spoken. We’re sharing a room.” Seonghwa gave him an exasperated look. “I need to
see what he’s really like.”

Yeosang was a little thrown by his mischievous look. “Uh, okay. If you can even get him to drink.
He doesn’t seem like the type.”

“Oh, he will be.” He smirked.

Oh boy.

It was a relief that they hadn’t brought out the alcohol, because after stuffing themselves and
relaxing and talking for a bit, people started to drift off to their rooms. After the hours in the car
and all the food and tension, it seemed like everyone was exhausted. Soon it was only he and San
outside, cleaning up.

“You know, I planned on it only being me, you, and Wooyoung.”

Yeosang laughed, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t that have been boring?”

“You’re my favorite people, why would that be boring.” San huffed. “It would be less annoying
than this eight person mess.”

He couldn’t tell if he was talking about the group themselves, or their actual mess after dinner, but
he smiled. “I’m having fun. This was a great idea.”

“Thank you.” San smiled, pleased at himself. They finished throwing away the trash and gathered
the dishes, moving to the kitchen. As they washed, San looked over at him. “You don’t have to
sleep on the couch.”

Laughing softly, he shook his head. “And where would I sleep? The rooms are already claimed.”

There was a pause, and then he answered quietly. “With me and Wooyoung.”

Yeosang felt heat rise to his face and ears. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on you guys.”

He felt San looking at him, and when he turned his face, he looked to be fighting over something.
Sighing, he seemed to make a decision. “You know you’re never left out of our relationship.
You’re our best friend, and the reason why we are even together.”

Feeling a huge wave of relief at it finally being said out loud, Yeosang smiled. “You’re finally
gonna admit it? That you guys are together.”

San’s face was flushed, and he didn’t look up from the dishes. “Wooyoung might be mad, but it’s
not like it’s a real secret.”

“No. We’ve all just been waiting for you guys to say something so we can stop pretending like we
don’t know.” Yeosang bumped his shoulder, smiling at him. “I’m happy for you guys.”

He nodded, but it looked kind of sad. “Yeah.”

Watching his face, he grew worried. “San, were you worried that I would be mad?” He gave him a
hurt look. “Or homophobic?”
“No.” He shook his head, laughing, but it was lacking humor. “We knew you’d be happy for us.”

Yeosang frowned, fully turning to face him. “Then why do you look upset?”

Taking a deep breath, he went to speak, eyes locked with his, but his mouth closed and he shook
his head. “It’s nothing. Just leftover nerves, you know?” He swallowed and turned away. “Can you
finish this? I’m really tired.”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I got this.” Yeosang could see he was trying to run away from the conversation
but couldn’t tell why. If he knew he’d be happy, why did he look like that? It confused him.

There was nothing to be done at that moment though, so he finished the dishes, and went to sleep
on the couch.

~~~

Hongjoong had waited too long before he went to his room, finding Seonghwa already in the bed.

He was shirtless, covers only slightly pulled over his waist, phone in hand as he curled on his side.
The boy’s lips curled at the thought of sleeping in the bed, but he would not give up his space for
some arrogant prick. So he showered and changed, and walked toward the bed.

Of course, Seonghwa had something to say. He took in his full set of pajamas and laughed. “Do
you wear all that to bed?” He shook his head, judging slightly. “Rich kids.”

“It’s comfortable.” He argued, climbing in under the covers. “Can’t you use another blanket?”

Seonghwa’s eyebrow rose, still turned on his side, facing Hongjoong. “I was here first, you find
another blanket.”

“This is my room.” He argued back.

Smirk. “Technically, it’s San’s dad’s room. You know, cause he owns the place.”

Huffing, he rolled over to face away from him. “I don’t like you.”

“On the contrary, I think you’re quite fun to tease.”

Hongjoong didn’t respond, set on ignoring him for the whole trip.

~~~

Mingi’s research had opened him up to a lot of things he had never thought about before, like
checking out a guy's body.

He would never admit it to a single soul, but when Yunho walked out of the shower in boxer briefs,
he found his eyes roaming over his slim body. The boy was so tall, and his arms and legs were so
long. His eyes followed a drop of water over a nipple, and his heart started racing.

Look, Mingi had seen… things. He had seen far too many things, and learned far too much about
homosexual sex practices, that he couldn’t help but imagine what a tongue could do to such a
thing. He totally wasn’t into guys, he had just gone too deep. These totally weren’t his own
thoughts.

Absolutely not.
Until Yunho turned to look at him, hair wet, and lips pretty and plump.

Oh no.

Oh god.

“What are you staring at?”

Mingi, who had made sure he was in bed first, shirtless, only in boxers, because he was trying to
make Yunho uncomfortable enough to leave, was suddenly terrified to be in the same bed as him.
In a horrifying turn of events, he was the uncomfortable one now. “You’re actually going to sleep
in here?”

He raised an eyebrow. “If you don’t like it, you leave.”

Humf. Mingi turned over, if only to hide that he was freaking out. What if he got into the bed with
only those tight briefs on? Tight? Why is he thinking about how tight they were? Why was he
thinking about how good his thighs looked? Mingi was freaking out, and even worse, he was hard.

Then the lights were off, and he felt the covers move and a body dip the bed. Looking over his
shoulder, he saw Yunho was still shirtless, covers pulled up over his stomach, but chest, and those
nipples, still visible. His phone was in his hand, light shining down on his face, on those lips.
Mingi reached between his legs, and pushed his boner between them, trying to pretend it didn’t
exist and he didn’t have a penis at all.

“Hey Mingi?”

No please, don’t talk. “Yeah?”

“I don’t want to fight with you over something stupid.”

Surprised, he turned over, awkwardly his boner came free, but he was already distracted away from
those thoughts. “You don’t want to fight?”

Yunho turned on his side to face him, dropping his phone on the blanket and shaking his head.
“Sharing a room isn’t that big a deal. Our best friends are…”

“Dating.” Mingi offered.

He laughed, it was such a pretty laugh. “Yeah. Why can’t we get along?”

“Are you gay too?” The words vomited out of his mouth before they had even crossed his mind.

Yunho’s mouth fell open in surprise, before he laughed. “That’s so funny.”

He frowned. “Is that a no?”

The boy rolled over, still laughing to himself. “Goodnight, Mingi.”

Mingi didn’t get why he needed an answer so bad. Leaning up on his arm, he reached out and
pulled the boy onto his back, finding himself leaning over that cute face. “Is that a yes or a no?”

Now he looked annoyed. “Why? Scared to share a bed with someone who might like guys?”

Like his mind wasn’t his own, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Yunho’s. They were
soft, and his breath was fresh and intoxicating, and suddenly he was being shoved away. Mingi’s
eyes widened as he realized what he had done. Yunho sat up and gave him an angry look.

Then he got control of himself, and gave Mingi a once over. “You really want to do this?”

Mingi’s mouth fell open. “This?”

The boy moved quickly, pushing him back on the bed, and straddling him. A hand was between
his legs, and Mingi found himself being held by Yunho’s warm fingers. “Is this what you want?”

Like God had blessed him with enlightenment, he nodded.

~~~

San walked into the room to find Wooyoung seeming to be sleeping already.

Smiling, he showered and changed and climbed in behind him, wrapping the boy in his arms.
Wooyoung sighed happily. "What took so long?'

"Helped Yeosang clean up " He explained, pressing a kiss to his neck. His boy hummed. Then San
sighed. "We talked a little, about you and me."

The body froze, and Wooyoung turned in his arms, wide awake now. "Who brought it up?" He
accused.

"Technically him." His tone was defensive. "I told him he could sleep with us instead of the couch
and he said he didn't want to intrude."

Wooyoung settled, looking nervous. "What did he say?"

He smiled, but once again, it was sad. "He said he was happy for us. He looked it, too."

Understanding his somber expression, Wooyoung rested a hand on his cheek. "You wanted to tell
him, didn't you?"

"So bad." He could feel his emotions welling up. "I don't want him to think he isn't a part of this. I
don't want him to distance himself thinking we are a thing and the only thing."

Sighing, his own emotions flustered, Wooyoung swallowed. "Do you want to tell him?"

San knew what he was asking. "Yeah, but I'm scared."

"Me too." Taking a deep breath, he pulled San into his arms, feeling the nervous trembles. "Maybe
it's time. Some time this summer. Before we go back to school, we should finally tell him."

He barked out a humorless laugh. "It feels like anytime will be too soon and yet not soon enough."

"Yeah. Well, let's just enjoy this weekend, and then we can think about how to go forward, okay?"
Wooyoung ran his fingers through his hair, looking out at the dark room, feeling a lot of things at
once.

San nodded. "Okay."

~~~

Mingi was acting weird.

The day had started calm, Wooyoung had gotten up to find Yeosang already up. The two together
had started up some food for breakfast, well, mostly Wooyoung. As the smells drifted through the
house, others had arrived to pile around the kitchen island to stand, or sit on the stools, and eat.

Mingi was the last to join, and he had looked like he was high on life. He was normally a full of
spirit person, but even San noticed there was a difference. As if something about life was suddenly
amazing.

Yunho especially was annoyed by his attitude. "Will you sit down and shut up?" He had glared at
him, taking a bite of what he was eating.

Giving him a smirk, he cocked his head. "Can you sit down?"

The boy threw a chopstick at him. Face bright red. Everyone at the table looking between them,
confused. San though, mind as dirty as Mingi, caught on.

People started going off to do different things, hang out in the living room to relax after breakfast,
or walk down to the lake, he had pulled him aside on the patio. "What the fuck are you on today?"

Looking around to make sure no one was listening, he leaned in, nearly giggling with joy. "I fucked
Yunho."

San raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "You have got to stop being an asshole. Don't make any
prob-"

"No." He grabbed San, shaking him. "I fucked him, and it was amazing."

Still wondering if this was a joke, Yunho walked out with Wooyoung, passing by, and sent a glare
toward Mingi. "Then why is he glaring at you?"

He shrugged. "He told me not to tell anyone, but of course I'm gonna tell you." San continued to
give him a side eye full of distrust. "Whatever. Believe me or not, but let me tell you, my friend, I
am bisexual."

San, feeling a weird sense of backwards deja vu, nodded slowly. "Okay, fine. I'll believe you, but
how the hell did that even happen? Yunho isn't… well… I didn't think…"

His friend gave him a please look. "Oh, Sannie boy, not only is he into guys, but that definitely was
not his first time." San looked surprised. "That boy made me feel like it was MY first time. It was
the best sex I've ever had." He sighed happily. "And I get to share a bed with him again tonight."

Laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, not really feeling like it was real, San shook his head. "I
don't know man, he doesn't look like he's happy with you right now. Maybe you were bad."

Mingi’s happy smile turned sour. "I'm not bad. I'm great, he's just got more experience than me.
Obviously."

"Right." San felt like he was in a fever dream currently. "Okay, I think that's enough talking to you,
I'm gonna go hang out with…someone else."

He left his friend pouting.

~~~

Yeosang sat down at the end of the dock and let his feet drop into the cool water.
Beside him, Seonghwa splashed a bit, looking happy. "This place is pretty nice. Helps to have rich
friends, huh."

He laughed, shrugging. "I suppose there are some positives to it."

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the warm pre-noon sun. Some noise drew their attention
and Yeosang watched as Wooyoung and Yunho had some kind of animated conversation as they
walked off further down the lake. Seonghwa hummed a tune to himself. It was relaxing.

Then Seonghwa turned to him. "So what's Hongjoong’s deal?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Like the too cool for fun deal. Stick up the ass. Robot. Frowning all the time."

Yeosang dipped his head, not ever having thought of him that way. "I just think he's pretty straight
forward. Doesn't waste time on things, only does what he wants, that kind of thing."

Nodding slowly, he chewed his lips, thinking. "Has he ever dated?"

"Um, not that I know of. Hasn't ever shown any interest as far as I've seen." He was becoming
more confused by the questioning. "Why?"

Seonghwa ignored him though. "Did you know he's very cuddly when he sleeps?"

"Oh." He laughed. "No I didn't. Did he bother you all night?"

Again, it was like he was having a conversation with himself. "I doubt he even knows it. It was
kind of cute. He doesn't frown when he's sleeping."

Yeosang gave his friend a worried look. "Okay…"

As if none of it was said, he smiled. "We should go swimming today."

He smiled weakly, a little worried. "Yeah, sounds fun."

~~~

"He's so annoying." Yunho growled.

Wooyoung, who didn't disagree, was still a bit thrown by his normally relaxed friend's aggression.
"We'll, yeah, but he's not that bad. I've never seen you this mad before. You didn't even act this
way when San pushed Yeosang."

"That was different." He answered, huffing.

He raised an eyebrow. "What exactly did he do to make you this irritated? You don't let people get
to you like this."

Turning his face away, he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"So you pulled me away to talk and now won't talk." Wooyoung rolled his eyes.

"I just needed some fresh air and to get away from him." He waved a hand, as if it was enough of
an answer.
Nodding, a little worried, Wooyoung let his friend stew in silence.

~~~

A couple hours later, with plans disseminating through the group, they all were preparing to swim.

Yeosang snuck away from Jongho, and walked down to San and Wooyoung's room. He knocked
and when the door opened, he pushed his way inside and closed it behind him. They were already
in their swimwear, and San, who had opened the door, gave him a worried look.

"Are you okay?"

He shook his head. "Is it just me, or is everyone being really weird?"

Wooyoung perked up, shaking his head, an incredulous look on his face. "So it's not just me?
Jongho is the only normal one. Did I drug everyone by accident?"

Looking a bit weird himself, San laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess they have been acting weird."

Both the boys gave him suspicious looks, and Wooyoung placed a hand on his hip. "What do you
know?"

"Nothing." The vehemence in which he shook his head said otherwise.

Calling him out, his boyfriend glared at him. "What the hell is going on with everyone?"

San folded like a chair. "I'm not supposed to say." The two didn't break eye contact off him, and he
started to visibly sweat. "I don't know if it's even true."

"Tell us." Wooyoung’s tone was calm, but even scarier for it.

"Uh." He looked between them, both waiting impatiently. "I can't."

His boyfriend pursed his lips, nodding slowly. Then he smiled sweetly. "Okay."

San’s face showed his apprehension. "Okay?"

"Okay." He shrugged, turning to Yeosang. "Lets go swim."

Even he could sense the tension, and gave San a look of 'good luck' before following Wooyoung
out the door.

~~~

San had never been more distracted in his life.

On one hand was his beautiful boyfriend, shirtless, in the most terribly tight swim trunks, running
back and forth from the water as he dived into it from the dock. Then there was Yeosang, laid out
on a towel, also shirtless, gorgeous skin glistening in the sun, sweating. There he was, sitting in the
shallows, hiding his boner in the water. Can you blame him, it's not often the two loves of his life
are so little dressed, and wet.

It seemed everyone was having fun, even Hongjoong, who was floating a little off in the distance.
Jongho was floating in a tube, drink in hand. Seonghwa was sitting on the edge of the dock, eyes
seeming to shift over to the floating boy often. Mingi and Yunho? Trying to drown each other not
far off from the dock.
They were definitely arguing about something, and Mingi seemed to be taking the brunt of the
attacks. San thought that maybe he should intercept them and try to stop them from killing one
another, but even Wooyoung and Yeosang at this point had decided to just ignore them. The more
they fought, the more he started to believe Mingi. Also, for the fact that even though he was being
attacked, his smile never faltered and he never stopped looking at Yunho.

Eventually, Wooyoung swam over, smile happy, and sat next to him in the water. “This is great.”
He gave him a curious look. “Why are you sitting over here by yourself?”

San blushed. “Because you and Yeosang are basically naked… and wet.”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “You’re such a perv. Can’t you just be a normal person and not think
about sex?”

He frowned at him. “I would argue that I’m being a totally normal eighteen year old virgin guy
who has a gorgeous boyfriend who keeps him at arm's length all the time.”

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. “We cuddle all the time.”

San gave him an exasperated look. “That makes it worse, Wooyoung. I’m only getting hornier.
Maybe if we actually had sex, my hormones wouldn’t be going through the fucking roof. I’m like a
hose that’s tied in a knot, and eventually all the pressure is going to explode.”

Wooyoung leaned over, looking evil, and San jumped as he slid a hand up his thigh under the
water. “Aw, are you that pent up? My poor baby.”

His mind clouded as the hand pushed into the legs of his swim trunks. “Wooyoung…”

With a quick pinch to his inner thigh, causing San to yelp, he pulled back and started to swim
away. “Oops, sorry.”

Seeing red, San shook his head. “That’s it, you’re mine.” He gave chase.

Excitement and fear morphing together as a scream, Wooyoung turned and tried to swim as fast as
he could from his boyfriend.

~~~

Yeosang turned onto his stomach at the scream, watching San happily give chase to a laughing
Wooyoung.

“They’re really cute together.” Seonghwa commented, sitting at the edge of the dock a few feet
away.

He smiled, watching as San was beginning to catch up. “Yeah. You know, they used to fight all the
time.”

“Really? Why? Just liked each other too much and couldn’t show it in a normal way.” He snorted,
as if they were much younger than him.

Yeosang didn’t answer. Didn’t know how to answer. Well, he knew the answer, but didn’t want to
say it out loud. “Uh, yeah probably.”

Looking over, Seonghwa gave him a long look. “Sure, okay.” Then he turned back around,
obviously not believing him, but not caring enough to pry. “Either way, it’s cool that they can be so
open and comfortable.”

San had captured Wooyoung, and was biting his cheek as his boyfriend yelled obscenities.
Yeosang laughed. “Yeah. San is super physically affectionate, so it’s cool to be out here where he
knows Wooyoung doesn’t have to worry.”

“Oh, So Wooyoung is the closeted one?”

He shook his head. “No one outside of the group knows, but Wooyoung’s parents. He just doesn’t
want to come out in highschool I think. San seems to care less who knows he’s gay, but he keeps it
to himself until Wooyoung is comfortable.” They had never really told him that, but he knew them
as well as he knew himself. It was almost self explanatory.

Seonghwa looked out at them, a strange look on his face, like envy. “He must really love him.”

“Yeah.” Yeosang watched his two friends laugh as they play fought. “They’re made for each
other.”

Taking a deep breath, Seonghwa nodded. “I’m gonna need to drink tonight.”

He frowned, looking over and seeing that his mood seemed to have dropped. “Are you okay?”

Shaking his head, he looked over, looking upset. “No, Yeosang, I’m sober and it sucks.”

~~~

“You fucking told him?” Yunho splashed water into Mingi’s face.

The boy wiped his face, looking apologetic. “He’s my best friend, he told me he was gay, so I told
him I figured out I was bisexual.”

Yunho glared, talking through clenched teeth. “Why did that have to include that we did anything!?
You should have kept your mouth shut.”

“Well, I needed to praise the phenomenal sex.” Yunho rolled his eyes, as Mingi smirked. “I’m
obsessed now. You did this.”

Sighing, he swam backwards, trying to get away from him. “It was a mistake. A lapse of judgment.
You just…”

“What was it? The kiss? Or did you feel how hard I was and…”

“Song Mingi, shut up.” Yunho was turning red, and glaring at the boy who was slowly following
him.

Shaking his head, he continued to follow, smile never leaving his face. “I want more.”

“No.”

“Let me worship you.”

“Mingi.” His face burned brightly, eyes widening. “You need to…”

He had slowly been herding Yunho under the dock without him knowing it, and soon they were
out of vision from the others. That’s when Mingi struck. He grabbed his hips, earning him a noise
of surprise as he pulled Yunho’s legs around him. The boy tried to fight, but Mingi was stronger,
 hands grabbing his ass to hold him in place.

They were face to face, chest to chest, and Yunho glared at him, reaching up to grab a hand around
his throat. “Let me go.”

Pulling him a little closer, he pressed his erection between Yunho’s legs, finding him hard as well.
The boy gasped, and Mingi’s eyes lowered to his lips. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever
seen. How do you give a devil a taste of heaven and then try to take it away from me?”

Shocked by the words, the hold on his throat weakened until Mingi was learning forward and
gently biting his chest. Yunho gasped. “Mingi, our friends…”

“...can’t see us.” He murmured against skin, moving lower to bring a nipple into his mouth, earning
him a strangled moan. The blood roared in his ears as hands fisted themselves in his hair. His
hands moved to push their way up the legs of his trunks, grabbing the soft flesh of his ass. “I’ll do
anything for more.”

Leaning back, he looked to find Yunho watching him with nervous and hooded eyes. “Not right
here.” His voice was thick with something that made Mingi hungry. Sighing, he leaned forward,
and though he was nervous, Yunho kissed him back, gripping his hair to hold him close. When
they pulled away from each other, Yunho nervously spoke. “We should go to bed early tonight.
We’re both so tired.”

Swallowing, Mingi nodded, feeling his stomach and heart twisting around each other. “You’re
right, it’s been a very tiring day.”

Yunho pushed him away softly, and Mingi regrettably let him go, following to rejoin their friends.

Chapter End Notes

There's a lot going on in this chapter, as well as the next chapter. It's a little crack-y,
but I hope it can bring some enjoyment to you all LOL
 Not Confession, Just Acceptance
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Yunho and Wooyoung borrowed Mingi’s car and left a little bit after they finished swimming.

Yeosang had disappeared. Hongjoong was reading on the patio. Seonghwa was out there with him,
scrolling through his phone, sunglasses on. Mingi and Jongho watched some show he didn’t know
in the front room. San was bored, walking around.

He leaned over the couch behind Mingi. “Where did they go?’

“I don’t know, Yunho just asked to borrow my car for a bit.” He said nonchalantly, hand digging
into the bag of snacks he was eating.

San frowned. “You let Yunho borrow your car?”

“Yeah.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Weren’t you guys at each other’s throats all morning?”

Mingi shrugged. “I can't afford to tell him no.” He looked up, whispering so Jongho couldn’t hear.
“I’m afraid if I don’t give him what he wants, I can’t have what I want.”

Grimacing at the implications, he just nodded. “Gotcha. You do you, I guess.” The boy went back
to watching tv, and he sighed.

Maybe he’ll just take a nap. Finding his way down the hallway to his room, he opened the door
eyebrows furrowing at the form that was already bundled up in his blankets. Closing the door
behind him, he laughed softly as he realized it was Yeosang, napping away in his bed. His heart
warmed seeing him there.

Unfortunately, the closing of the door woke him, and he groggily looked up, face pinkening. “I’m
sorry. They were being loud in the front room.”

Shaking his head, he smiled, moving to crawl under the blankets. “It’s okay, I had the same
thought.” He lay down facing him, and Yeosang laid back down, looking at him. “Hi.”

Yeosang chuckled. “Hi.” He sighed, blush deepening. “The bed smells like both of you. It kind of
makes me feel safe.”

He thought his heart was going to explode. “Well, like I said, you’re allowed to sleep in here.”

“But you guys are…” An obvious dirty thought popped into his head, and his eyes widened as he
sat up, looking down at the bed.

San burst out laughing. “Sangie, we haven’t…” He couldn’t stop his laughter as Yeosang’s face
turned beet red. “We’re not that far, Yeosang. You dirty minded boy.”

Falling back into the bed, he pulled a pillow over his head. “Stop it! You’re the one who makes it
seem… Stoooop.”

His continued laughter eventually petered out, and he moved closer and rubbed his arm. “You can
stop hiding now.”

Yeosang pulled the pillow away, face still red and now pouting with a frown. “You’re an asshole.”

“You’re the one who had the thought.” He countered, smirking. San inched his way closer, so very
tempted to hold him. Instead, he let his hand fall between them. “Are you enjoying the trip?”

Nodding, he smiled, looking relieved at the change of topic. “I mean, everyone’s acting a little off,
but it’s been fun.”

San gave him a knowing look. “Yeah, everyone else is a bit weird. We’re the only normal ones
here.”

He snorted. “I would argue only me and Jongho are the normal ones.”

Clicking his tongue, he rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Probably.” Not able to hold back anymore, he
reached out and pushed the hair off his face. “We still haven’t cut your hair.”

Yeosang’s smile faded, eyes locked on San’s face as fingers gently brushed the hair off his skin.
“You should cut it when we get back.”

“Okay.” He felt his stomach twist anxiously as he rested his arm on his shoulder, continuing to run
his fingers through his hair. “I’ll come over after we get back.”

Taking a deep breath, his shoulder rose, and then fell as he let it out. San was losing his control,
shifting a little closer, now just a few inches away face to face. He draped his arm over his waist,
and he could see the apprehension and tension in Yeosang’s eyes, but neither spoke or broke eye
contact.

“I’m tired.” Yeosang’s voice was soft, a little choked.

Feeling overwhelmed, he pulled the boy closer, heart beating so fast as he actually moved forward.
“Sleep. You know you're safe here. No ones going to bother you.”

Yeosang blinked at him, eyes a little wide, looking nervous. “Wooyoung…”

“... would do the same thing if he were here.” San felt like his heart was going to beat out of his
chest. He was finding it hard to breathe. Moving fully, he tucked the boy against him, resting his
chin on top of his head. “Just sleep.”

There was no sound from him, and San felt like he had just done the worst thing, but then suddenly
he was relaxing against him, and he looked up at the ceiling, thanking god for granting him this
gift. Then he began rubbing his back, humming softly, eyes closing as he took in Yeosang’s scent.
Eventually, his breathing evened out, and San found himself trying to match the in and out air.

He didn’t notice falling asleep.

~~~

Wooyoung and Yunho returned with the cake.

He went to hide it in the fridge, moving food around to make sure San wouldn’t see it. Asshole
probably thought they had forgotten because of finals and the trip. Wooyoung walked into the
front room where Yunho sat across from Mingi, both glaring at each other. He didn’t really get
why they were fighting so much, but he was not bored enough to dig deep into all that.
“Where is everyone?”

Mingi finally broke eye contact. “I think Hongjoong and Seonghwa are outside. Haven’t seen
Yeosang or San in a while.”

“Hmm.” They might be off doing something. He grabbed his things, moving down the hall to put
his stuff in the room. When he opened the door though, he was struck by the sight of San holding
Yeosang while they slept.

Frozen, worried he woke them, he waited for a long moment before he realized they hadn’t moved.
He relaxed, and leaned in the doorway, watching them for a moment. San’s cheek was resting on
Yeosang’s head, arms wrapped around the boy who was curled up into his chest. Wooyoung
smiled, a little twinge of jealousy mixing with far too much love for his heart to handle, as he felt
tears prick at his eyes.

Sighing, realizing that he had missed some chance that San got to take advantage of, he sat his stuff
down quietly and slowly closed the door. Moving back to the front room, he sat down, smiling to
himself as he reached over into Mingi’s bag of food he had tossed to the side. They were watching
some stupid game show where they embarrassed the contestants.

“Did you find them?”

“Yeah, they’re taking a nap.”

“Oh.”

They continued to watch the show, and if anyone dared to be loud, Wooyoung scolded them.

~~~

Seonghwa wore sunglasses just so he could watch Hongjoong.

His eyes were narrowed, watching the boy push his glasses up his nose. It had been like this for an
hour already, just page turn after page turn. Seonghwa was sitting directly across from him, the
shade of the awning keeping them safe from the sun. His hair was air dried, fluffier than it
probably usually was, and the way Hongjoong chewed on his lip as he focused kept drawing his
attention.

Hongjoong was in a loose white button up, top couple buttons undone. The smooth skin of his
chest was barely visible, but it teased enough. He was wearing shorts, and one leg was pulled up to
prop his book on, making the fabric fall and bunch low, showing off more of his skin. Thankfully,
he was wearing sunglasses, and for over an hour his eyes never left him.

A hand raised to push back his hair, and Seonghwa wanted to touch it. It looked soft. Those hands
were small compared to his own, they would disappear in his. He watched the page turn again, and
he wanted to rip it out of his hand. For what though? Nothing was stopping him from just speaking,
but something kept his lips tightly sealed.

Then, his face changed, and Seonghwa watched as his eyes began to water. Hongjoong wiped the
corner of his eye, putting down the book and looking up at the sky, closing his eyes for a moment
before diving back into the book. Tears began to fall as the final pages were turned and he dropped
the book in his lap, cursing softly as he wiped his face.

Seonghwa could no longer keep quiet. “Did it end sad?”

He looked shocked, as if he forgot the older boy had been sitting there at all. Hongjoong gave him
an embarrassed look, trying to dry his tears faster. “Yes and no.”

“Open ending?”

Sighing, he sobbed out a laugh, falling back onto the chair, looking up at the sky again. “Kinda. It
was one of those ‘sad but you’re happy for it’.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped him. “We love a contradiction.”

He shrugged. “I guess. It’s about these two people who are taught magic and they have…”
Hongjoong narrowed his eyes, as if finally realizing who he was talking to. “Do you even really
care?”

Not responding at first, he lifted his sunglasses, letting him see his eyes. “Tell me about your book,
Hongjoong.”

The eyes look over his face, as if trying to find teasing or malice behind his words. Then, the urge
to talk about the book winning out, he smiled shyly. “So, there’s these magicians…”

~~~

Yeosang had been awake for a few minutes.

He didn’t know how long they had slept, but San was still asleep. Being encompassed in his scent,
his warmth, his arms was not something he had ever experienced before. Not like this. The last
time was because he was crying, but this was just warmth, compassion, and connection, and…

Moving his head back a little, he was close enough that he could feel San’s breath on his face. It
was warm, and honestly not the best after all the snacks they had been eating. Being this close, he
could let his eyes roam across those soft looking lips, the smooth skin, the eyelashes that fluttered
as his eyes moved behind his eyelids.

He was breathtaking.

Yeosang was beginning to grow nervous, suddenly feeling trapped, and he lifted the arm from
around his waist and laid it between them. He didn’t wake, so he moved slowly, trying very hard
not to do so. Eventually he made it off the bed and it seemed like the soft breathing hadn’t changed
at all, so he quietly grabbed his phone off the side table and made his way out the door.

When he padded into the front room, it seemed like naptime in preschool. Yunho and Mingi were
spread out on opposite couches, napping. Jongho was straight up on the floor with a pillow, dead to
the world. Curious, he walked to the glass doors of the patio, seeing Seonghwa and Hongjoong
sitting next to each other and talking. They were smiling, which was a new thing to witness.

Opening the door, he stepped out, causing them to stop talking and look up. “Have you seen
Wooyoung?”

“He walked down to the dock, I think.” Hongjoong offered.

“Okay, cool.” He retreated, going to find his shoes and dipping out the back door, walking past the
two boys.

The sun was close to setting, setting low in the sky behind the trees in the distance. In the distance,
as he drew close, he could see Wooyoung’s silhouette at the end of the dock. For some reason he
felt nervous. If he was out here, it would be because he had found them, right? Maybe coming out
here hadn't been a good idea.

Wooyoung was moving his feet in the water when he approached. When he looked up and saw
Yeosang, he smiled, patting the dock next to him. The boy took off his socks and shoes and sat
down next to him, placing his own feet in the water. They sat in comfortable silence for a while,
allowing Yeosang’s nerves to settle before a word was spoken.

“Did you get the cake?”

He nodded. “It’s in the fridge. I should pull it out soon so it’s not that cold when we eat it.”

Yeosang nodded. “Candles and all that?”

“Yes, Yeosang, I know how to decorate a birthday cake.” He was teasing though, giving him a
playful annoyed look.

He laughed, smiling. “You’re the last birthday.”

“Actually, Hongjoong’s is before mine.”

Rolling his eyes, he bumped against his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” Wooyoung smiled, leaning over and dropping his head onto Yeosang’s shoulder. He
sighed heavily. His eyes unfocused a bit, looking down at the hands folded in Yeosang’s lap. “I
never expected my life to get this good.” Reaching out, he grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers
together.

Yeosang stiffened, but didn’t pull his hand away. They keep doing these things and it's so hard not
to fall into it all. “Why’s that?”

“Because if it wasn’t for you and San, I’d probably still be a scared little boy who can barely
accept that he’s gay.” Yeosang felt his chest tighten and his eyes well with tears, but he smiled,
hearing that confession for the first time from his lips. It was all there, in the touches and the
words, and the looks. Yeosang was fully aware, without doubt, what lay between them. “You guys
have made my life so much better.”

The hand squeezed his, and Yeosang brought it to his lips, kissing it lightly before letting it fall
back into his lap. “I’m happy that you’re a part of mine. Both of you.”

“Yeosang.”

The boy took a deep breath. “Yeah?”

He felt a tear fall. “I’m tired of pretending.”

Yeosang let his eyes close for a second, knowing that it was an olive branch. A chance for
confirmation and understanding. After being in San’s arms, and then straight to holding
Wooyoung’s hand, he let it fall out softly. “I know.”

Wooyoung couldn’t help a sob escape. “You know.” It wasn't a question, or an accusation, just a
confirmation.

He opened his eyes, looking down at the beautiful face of his best friend before looking out over
the water. Yeosang felt calm. “I know.”
Wooyoung was afraid to look at him, so he didn’t move his head off his shoulder. “Why are we
still pretending?”

A long silence settled between them. The sun set, painting the sky across the water in oranges,
reds, and pinks. It was beautiful. The two boys watched the sun set, not speaking for a long time.
Hands held tightly, heads rested against each other on a shoulder.

Eventually, Yeosang spoke. “I’ve been afraid.”

“Of what?”

Letting out a deep breath, like he had been holding it this whole time, his voice came out thick with
tears. “Of ending up alone. Again.”

Wooyoung looked up at him finally, eyes swimming and looking filled with pain for him.
Compassion lifted the corner of his lips, and instead of letting the sad confession ruin anything, he
smiled and lifted his hands. Yeosang frowned as Wooyoung wiped the tears from his face as they
fell, looking at him with that soft warmth that had become so familiar. He looked back at him, this
time not turning away, and letting himself fully know and see what was there, what was often
reflected in another boy.

He smiled warmly, patting his cheek as he finally stopped crying and there were no more tears to
wipe away. “Come on. Let’s go have some cake.”

Yeosang sobbed out a surprised laugh, nodding. “Okay.” Wooyoung stood, grabbing his hands to
help him stand up.

They walked together in comfortable silence up to the house.

~~~

The boys were in the front room, singing karaoke.

When the two boys walked in, San and Jongho were singing a song, San turning, seeing them, and
began singing to them. Smiling so wide, so happy. They watched for a moment, before the duo
went into the kitchen and began preparing the cake together.

It was simple, wonderful, and so very warm. Seonghwa finally brought out the alcohol. Yeosang
and Hongjoong were a little nervous, but gave in eventually, to their friends' temptations. The night
progressed comfortably, singing karaoke and sharing laughs. Yeosang’s body and mind relaxed in
a way that it hadn’t in some time, feeling a little freer, a little more open to the thoughts he couldn’t
hold back as the alcohol flowed.

He was sitting on the couch, a smile playing on his lips, face feeling hot, mind a little wistful as he
watched San and Wooyoung sing a duet together. They were singing to each other, and his heart
was a little overwhelmed by the honest love transferring between them like a visible force. Then,
like it was planned, they turned and sang to him, and he thought he was going to cry.

If anyone realized it, he couldn’t tell, they were all smiling and teasing and urging them on. He
watched them, so in love with each other. It came to him, his deeply buried box that had been dug
up slowly over the last few months, opening finally.

Yeosang loved them, wanted to be loved by them.

Overwhelmed, he waited for a moment when everyone seemed distracted and snuck off to the
patio. He took his bottle of soju he had been sipping with him, sitting on the porch swing out of
sight from the doors, watching the moon rise, in the cool night air. His mind was above him,
floating, feeling everything all at once, but maybe it was the alcohol that took away the fear of it.
For the first time, he was in love, and admitting it to himself.

Being hugged to sleep by San, hand held by Wooyoung, it had been a day of confession without
words. It was too late, wasn’t it? This fear he had of them leaving him, of being alone again. At
this point, no matter if they move forward or not, if they leave, he will feel that pain. They were
cemented in his life, his heart, and the damage had been done.

If he didn’t want to be hurt, he shouldn’t have ever accepted those snacks on that first day. That’s
when his walls started crumbling, and now it was as if the foundation itself was nothing more than
dust on the ground of his heart. Why was he doing this to himself, to them? Without saying those
three words, they have already shown him again and again that they loved him. All those actions,
like a wrecking ball, had torn him down and made him anew.

He was a new person because of them.

Wasn’t it time to leave the old, terrified him behind?

Yeosang didn’t know how long he had been out there when the patio door slid open. He knew who
it was, so his eyes stayed focused on the moon. San pushed him over to sit on one side of him,
throwing his arm around Yeosang’s shoulder and pulling him close. Wooyoung sat on Yeosang’s
other side, pulling his feet up underneath him and leaning into his side, cuddling close.

They didn’t speak for a while, each sipping their drinks as they stared up at the moon together.

Then, through the open door they had left open just a crack, Jongho started singing a song. He
really was gifted, the way his words seem to dance in the air. Yeosang closed his eyes, hearing the
words and seeing the visions. He felt the tears fall before he knew he was even crying.

“I know you, I walked with you once upon a dre…” His voice drifted toward them.

Yeosang sighed. “This was my mom’s favorite song. She used to sing it all the time. She’d sing it
to my dad, and they would dance, and I would watch them. They would make anyone jealous if
you saw the way they looked at each other.”

The boys who held him didn’t say anything, staying silent as he spoke. “My mom said the first
time she saw my dad, she knew. It always kinda felt fake, because you know, how does a kid
understand that? But, she said it was like she had just been waiting for him.” He sobbed out a
laugh. “You know, she was single until she was thirty-three. Said she never met a man worth her
time, and she wasn’t going to settle for anyone but prince charming. It’s why she loved princess
movies and romance novels, she wouldn’t have any man but the best for her.”

He took a deep breath, gripping the soju bottle, and then let the breath out loudly. “Apparently my
boring old dad was that. He did construction, he wasn’t rich, but he did love her from day one.
Mom said it wasn’t about anything he had in the physical world, it was their connection that went
beyond that. She was more poetic than San.”

The two boys laughed softly, and he smiled. “I miss them.”

San kissed his head, squeezing him tightly. Wooyoung must be drunk, because he asked. “How did
they… How did it happen?”

Alcohol was dangerous, because he wasn’t even nervous as he spoke. “Dad was on a job.
Scaffolding gave out. I was twelve.” Wooyoung grabbed one of his hands and held it. “They
caught mom’s breast cancer really late. Spent a good portion of junior year in and out of the
hospital.”

Silence settled again, and his view of the moon was perfect, and he was warm and he was held and
loved. His mom would be happy for him. “She would have loved you guys.”

“She sounds like the best.” San murmured, seeming to be in his own thoughts and emotions. “Wish
I had a mom like her, even for a short time.”

Yeosang looked over, seeing his face wet with tears. Then he looked over to the other side of him,
finding Wooyoung’s eyes dry, but still sad as he looked off into the sky as he spoke. “I think we all
turned out okay. Good parents, bad parents…”

“No parents.” Yeosang finished, causing the other’s to laugh against their will, and San poked him
in the side.

A long moment passed again, before San spoke. “We love you, Yeosang.”

His heart swelled, and he nodded. “I know.” He took a steadying breath. “I love you, too.”

“You know what I mean.” San held it out like a knife at his throat.

He nodded again, turning to face him and smiling. “I know.”

“I’m not going to dance around it anymore.” San warned, eyes focused and serious.

Yeosang swallowed at the intensity, thankful for the alcohol giving him strength, and nodded.
“Okay.”

Sitting up, Wooyoung looked scared and nervous, as if on a tight wire over a steep chasm. “You’re
not allowed to run away from us. It’s us now, not me and San, us. It’s always been us.”

Okay, now it was getting a little overwhelming, and his face burned red. “How does that work?”

San hugged him, kissing his hair again. “Really, nothing changes, we just no longer hold back
what we want to say.”

“And we hold hands more.” Wooyoung offered, smiling finally, looking relieved.

“Well, it could be more if you want it.” San teased, and Yeosang pulled away, feeling like he must
look like a tomato.

Wooyoung sent San a warning glance, before returning to his spot, wrapping his arms around
Yeosang’s waist and resting his head on his chest. “It’s always been this. You’re just finally
accepting it.”

He had accepted it long ago, but maybe now wasn’t the time to say that out loud. “I think I’m never
drinking again.” He muttered.

The boys laughed, and they sat there in nervous excitement as they watched the moon trek across
the sky.

~~~

Mingi watched Yunho from his place on the couch. The boy was singing a song, he was barely
paying attention to the words, but his smile and the way he moved his body called to him. He
waited, like a lion waiting for his prey to make the wrong move. Then suddenly, Yunho was
giving him a long look from across the room.

“I’m going to bed. Night guys.” His prey left the room.

Jongho had already passed out on one of the couches, and Hongjoong was giggling at something
Seonghwa was whispering in his ear. They didn’t even notice Yunho had said anything. So,
without any words, Mingi got up to follow.

When he got to the stairs, Yunho was leaning over the railing at the top, looking down at him. He
bit his bottom lip as Mingi appeared, as if waiting for him to show, waiting to see if he took the
bait. Giving him a sly smile, he slid off the railing, disappearing down the hall. Mingi’s heart was
racing, whether it was the fading buzz from the alcohol, or the thrill of chasing after such a
beautiful creature, he didn’t care.

Taking the steps three at a time, he got to the top, looking down the hall to find Yunho leaning
against their door. Smirking, he began lifting his shirt from the bottom, taking it off as he pushed
the door open and disappeared inside. Hunger filled the pit of his stomach, and Mingi took his time
walking forward, stepping into the dark room and closing the door behind him.

Hands pushed him against the door, and lips found him as his breath was pulled from his lungs. A
naked body pressed up against him, and his hands came up to cup the smooth, plump skin of his
ass. He lifted him up, the long legs curling around his waist, a thrilled noise escaping Yunho as he
was carried to the bed. One hand moved around Yunho’s back to hold him as they fell into the bed,
rushing hands pulling Mingi’s shirt up.

He pulled back to take off his shirt, thankful that he was wearing sweats, ridding himself of his
bottoms as well, leaving him naked. Mingi kissed his way down the heavily breathing body,
earning soft moans as teeth slightly sunk into skin and his tongue soothed the spots after. When he
got lower, between his thighs, he let his teeth sink into the soft flesh, earning him a long low moan.

“Mine.” The word came out as a growl around his teeth.

Yunho grabbed his hair, pulled him away and forced Mingi to look him in the eyes, which were
narrowed. “I belong to no one.”

He shook his head. “But I already belong to you.” The body beneath his hands shivered at his
words. “Oh, you like that, huh?”

“Shut up.” Yunho’s glare turned a little unsure. “Show me.”

Mingi grinned, feeling like he was falling from the sky. “Yes sir.”

~~~

Seonghwa’s arm was around Hongjoong’s waist, helping the tipsy boy to their room. He was
giggling, talking about some dream to be a music producer. Their conversation had moved from
books, to movies, to music. It seemed that both Jongho and Hongjoong were musically inclined. He
would have never guessed.

When they got to the room, he kicked the door shut behind him. He moved the boy to the bed,
sitting him on the edge. Sighing, he moved back, watching as the boy started to undress.

Seonghwa laughed. “Aren’t you going to wait till I leave the room?”
“Who cares.” He mutters, throwing off his white shirt. His smooth chest drew his attention, the
nipples like dark stars in a white sky. Then he was unbuttoning his shorts, and pushing them down,
leaving him in tight briefs.

He felt guilty for watching, but he couldn’t look away as the boy turned and crawled underneath
the covers. Then Hongjoong look over at him, pouting. “Hurry up.”

“Oh.” Seonghwa laughed, beginning to unbutton his own shirt. “You actually want me in the bed
tonight?”

The boy’s eyes seemed unfocused, as he glared at him. “Yes. Hurry up, I’m cold.”

“You’re cute when you’re drunk.” He offered, pushing down his pants.

“Shut up.” He couldn’t tell if he was blushing, but he hid his face in the covers.

Moving over, he crawled under the blankets. He laid his head on his arm, facing Hongjoong who
was staring back at him. Seonghwa watched the eyes lower to his chest, which he had out of the
covers, the skin down to his waist showing.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You have a nice body.” He answered immediately, the alcohol leaving behind any second
guessing.

Pleasure filled his stomach, and Seonghwa laughed. “You like it?” He nodded, eyes slowly drifting
lower. “Do you want to touch it?” Hongjoong’s eyes rose back up, now looking nervous. He didn’t
say anything for a moment, before he nodded. “Okay, you can if you want.”

Licking his lips, Hongjoong moved a little closer, barely half a foot between them. Reaching out,
he trailed his fingers over his chest, down his stomach, and Seonghwa shivered as the fingers
tucked into his waistband, sifting into the hair hidden just under.

“Hongjoong, I think that’s far enough.” He said it calmly, and the boy stopped moving lower,
instead deciding he would pull on it, giving him a sight of something thick. Seonghwa had to grab
his hand, letting the waistband snap back in place. “I said that was enough.” He said it with an air
of amusement.

“You have an erection.” The way he said it was like talking about the weather, so nonchalant.

Seonghwa laughed. “Yeah.”

His eyes rose to finally meet his. “Because of me?”

Not able to hide his pleased smile, he nodded. “Yeah, because of you.”

“Do you like me?” It was a nervous question, suddenly looking unsure.

Seonghwa took a long moment, thinking of the hours of conversation they had that day. Of his
passion and excitement as he talked about what he loved, like no one had ever asked him before.
The way he gave Seonghwa a hundred and ten percent of his attention when he spoke, listening
carefully and never seeming to misinterpret or misunderstand a single thing. That feeling of
connection that he was feeling grew in his chest.

He smiled, nodding. “Yeah, I think I do like you.”

Hongjoong laughed. “No one has ever liked me. Not like that.”

“I don’t believe that.” The boy rolled his eyes, and Seonghwa smiled. “Well, either way, now
someone does.”

He looked pleased, lifting the cover to hide his face. “Okay.”

“Do you like me back?”

Seonghwa waited for a long moment, before Hongjoong’s eyes reappeared looking a little scared.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

~~~

The final full day at the lake was calm.

No one questions each other as the boys seemed to disappear in groups.

Yunho and Mingi weren’t really seen at all, like they had never even left their room.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa walked around a lot, seeming to be speaking about anything and
everything. No one had seen Hongjoong smile and blush so much.

Jongho sat on the patio, listening to music, kind of ready to go home already.

Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang spent a lot of the day at the dock, feet in the water.

“I don’t want to go back.” San muttered, pouting down at the water.

It was the hundredth time he had said it. Wooyoung agreed though. “We should come out here
again next break. Just us.”

“It’ll be cold.” Yeosang complained.

San laughed. “It’s still really nice out here, even with the snow. There’s a big hill through the trees
that’s great for sledding.”

“That actually does sound fun.” The boy relented. A moment of silence settled, one of many
throughout the day. Eventually, thoughts bubbled out of him. “What will it be like when we go
back?”

Sighing, Wooyoung shrugged. “A lot of the same, but it’ll be different.”

“No one's planning on telling MORE people, right?” Yeosang looked over at San, and so did
Wooyoung, giving him expectant looks.

San grew defensive. “It was just Mingi.” He pointed at Yeosang. “You told Seonghwa.”

“I did not, he’s just not stupid.” The boy laughed it off, not letting himself be blamed.

After another moment, Wooyoung leaned over. “Is Seonghwa…” Yeosang shrugged. “It’s just,
him and Hongjoong…”

San hummed his agreement. “I’ve never seen Hongjoong like that.”
“I think it’s cute.” Yeosang offered, looking over his shoulder at the two figures walking in the
distance down the edge of the lake.

He hummed, looking as well. “They’re just so different.”

“So were we.” Wooyoung teased.

“True.” San laughed softly.

Letting out a deep sigh, Yeosang looked out across the lake. “One semester to go and then off to
college. The distance is going to be hard.”

“Distance?” San grew agitated, looking toward his more ambitious and driven boyfriends.

Yeosang gave him a pitying look. “Wooyoung is going for dance and I’m thinking of some kind of
English degree. I mean, we could possibly get into the same university, but we might want
different things from the schools we choose. Do you even know what you want to go to school
for?”

Even Wooyoung looked sad at the prospect. “I guess I didn’t think about distance.”

San looked like he was about to cry. “I don’t know. I was only focused on us being together.”

“That’s so sweet.” Wooyoung offered, then his eyes hardened. “But that doesn’t pay the bills San.
You can’t live off your parents’ money forever.”

He huffed. “I bet I could.”

“Then don’t plan to be living with us, because we will not be allowing a freeloader in our house.”
Wooyoung turned away, as if that were the end of discussion.

Yeosang turned pink at the words. “You’re planning for us all to live together?”

The boy smiled, rolling his eyes as if it were obvious. “Duh. It’ll be great to be the best dancer
with the hot nerdy boyfriend.” He turned an unimpressed look toward San. “Won’t have much to
show off on the other end.”

San pouted. “I just… What’s so wrong with being focused on loving you guys?”

“That sounds exhausting, San. You need to have your own goals in life. You’re trying to act like a
grown man with nothing to show for it.”

Yeosang hated being in the middle of this, keeping quiet as they bickered.

But, he couldn’t help the pleased smile as they spoke like them being together in the future was a
given.

~~~

Seonghwa watched the way his face pinkened. “It’s not that embarrassing, it was cute.”

“I assaulted you.” Hongjoong groaned, covering his face with his hands.

He laughed. “Technically, you didn’t. I gave you permission.” The boy didn’t look convinced.
“Well, either way, it makes me feel better knowing you remember it all. That would have been
even more awkward.”
They walked a little more while Hongjoong gathered his dignity. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Seonghwa gave him a sly smile. “I hope it happens again. Sober this time.”

The boy’s face burned, looking away from him. “So when we get back…”

“I’d love to stay in contact.” He answered before the boy could even finish speaking. “Let me take
you on a date.”

Hongjoong looked over, looking a little thrown, but he nodded. “Okay.”

Seonghwa looked around, seeing that not a single soul was in sight. Reaching out, he stopped
Hongjoong and cupped his face, smoothing his fingers over his jaw and behind his neck till his
large fingers burrowed into his hair. “I’m going to kiss you.”

His eyes were wide. “I’ve never…”

“I figured.”

Leaning in, he paused and smirked at the way Hongjoong’s eyes closed tightly. Moving slowly, he
brushed his lips against the trembling boy’s own soft ones. Pressing against them, he moved his
tongue out to lick across them, causing them to open in a surprised gasp. He teased softly, and
Hongjoong’s own tongue was teased out pulled into his own mouth, sucking softly.

Seonghwa, wrapped an arm around his waist as the boy melted against him. Deepening the kiss, he
nibbled at his bottom lip, tongue pushing back the other to delve into Hongjoong’s mouth.
Eventually, feeling the boy starting to pant quickly, he pulled back, kissing around his lips before
fully pulling away.

Hongjoong’s face was flushed, ears red, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “Oh, umm, that
was…”

“Thank you.”

He swallowed. “Do it again?”

Seonghwa bit his lip, seeing the shy hunger in his eyes. “Anything you want.”

He leaned back in.

~~~

“Please.”

Yunho groaned, rolling away from Mingi. Unfortunately, they were still naked, and a hand cupped
his ass. “Mingi…”

The boy huffed behind him, moving to kiss across his shoulders, pressing his own naked body
against him. “This can’t just stop.”

“School is my priority, not feeding your sex drive.” He answered, but his eyes closed, enjoying the
long fingers roaming over his body.

Mingi traced swirling patterns across the smooth expanse of skin. “How about weekends?”

He laughed, genuinely amused. “You’re trying to set up a schedule?”

 “I don’t think you understand.” Mingi leaned down, trailing his lips over his neck until he was
kissing behind his ear. “I’m not willing to move on from you.”

Yunho groaned, but it was only half annoyance as a hand dipped lower, between his legs and
cupped him, pressing between his two areas. “Gosh, you and San, obsessive, insane, freaks.”

Smiling, he chuckled. “Then you should know how serious I am.”

Finally turning onto his side, facing him, he glared. “I’m not going to be someone's toy.”

Mingi moved forward, melting against the naked body, pulling a long leg over his hip, mouth
finding a nipple. No matter how much he argued, Yunho still responded to every touch, wrapping
his arms around Mingi’s head and sighing happily against his will. “Then I will spend every day
proving how serious I am. You’re not a toy. You’re a muse.”

Rolling his eyes, he huffed again, distracted by the teeth pulling at his nipple. “You and your pretty
words.”

“I’ll say a million pretty words for you.” His voice was husky, hand smoothing over his hip and
lower.

Yunho gasped as a finger pressed against his hole.

After another bout of sex, he found himself breathing heavily, Mingi looking smug at the
accumulated times he’s made Yunho cum. He leaned down, licking away at his skin, disgusting
and arousing Yunho. Fuck, it was amazing being with him.

Finally, he grabbed his chin, forcing him to look in his eyes. “You have one chance. As soon as
you do one thing to fuck me over or hurt me, we’re done.” He pushed away the pleased face. “And
there is no one else but me.”

Mingi laughed, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “There wasn’t ever going to be another for
me.”

“Hmmf.” Yunho gave an unimpressed noise, but turned away to hide the way the words pleased
him.

~~~

They drove back the next day, no one questioning out loud the ways they split up to drive back.

Chapter End Notes

I've never been one for confession to be a big emotional experience, I always feel like
the only way a character (especially in a slow build) hasn't figure out that someone is
in love with them after spending day in and day out with them, you've just made a
really dumb character... Some people like that, but I prefer intelligent characters who
hold back for other reasons than just straight up ignorance and blindness... anyway...
sometimes it's not confession, it's just a final acceptance to what already is.

Like I always say IRL- "Just because you haven't given it a label, doesn't mean it isn't
what it is." Meaning just because you haven't said it's love, affection, etc, doesn't
 mean that it isn't love.

One more chapter.

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