THE

EFFECT
BY LUCY PREBBLE

DRAMATISTS
PLAY SERVICE
INC.

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 THE EFFECT — PREBBLE

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 THE
EFFECT
BY LUCY PREBBLE
a play for four people, in love and sorrow

DRAMATISTS
PLAY SERVICE
INC.

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 THE EFFECT
Copyright © 2017, Lucy Prebble
All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that performance of THE
EFFECT is subject to payment of a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws
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its territories, possessions and Canada for THE EFFECT are controlled exclusively by
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 THE EFFECT, produced by Scott Morfee, Jean Doumanian, Tom
Wirtshafter, Tim Levy for NT America, received its North American
premiere at the Barrow Street Theatre on March 16, 2016. It was
directed by David Cromer; the set design was by Marsha Ginsberg;
the costume design was by Sarah Laux; the lighting design was
by Tyler Micoleau; the sound design was by Erik T. Lawson; the
projection design was by Maya Ciarrocchi; the original music was
by Daniel Kluger; the fight direction was by J. David Brimmer; the
properties design was by Carrie Mossman; and the production
stage manager was Richard A. Hodge. The cast was as follows:

DR. LORNA JAMES ......................................................... Kati Brazda

DR. TOBY SEALEY ............................................................. Steve Key
CONNIE HALL ......................................................... Susannah Flood
TRISTAN FREY ........................................................... Carter Hudson

THE EFFECT was first performed at the National Theatre,

London, directed by Rupert Goold and co-produced with
Headlong, on November 13, 2012. The scenic design was by
Miriam Buether; the lighting design was by Jon Clark; the sound
design was by Christopher Shutt; and the projection design was
by Jon Driscoll. The cast was as follows:

DR. LORNA JAMES ................................................... Anastasia Hille

DR. TOBY SEALEY ........................................... Tom Goodman-Hill
CONNIE HALL .................................................................. Billie Piper
TRISTAN FREY ............................................................... Jonjo O’Neill

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 AUTHOR’S NOTE

The parts were written with specific actors in mind and when it
comes to matters of nationality, physical references, or the “tricks”
the volunteers perform for each other, the performers should feel
free to mould the text around themselves.

Slashes (/) indicate overlapping dialogue. A slash at the beginning

of a line with no corresponding point of interruption means that
the actor comes in hard at the end of the preceding line, too soon
almost.

Dialogue in parentheses indicates that the audience doesn’t necessarily

have to hear the detail but the actor may wish to say it.

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 CHARACTERS

DR. LORNA JAMES — 47 years, 59.5 kg, 169 cm

DR. TOBY SEALEY — 45 years, 91 kg, 188 cm
CONNIE HALL — 26 years, 55 kg, 163 cm
TRISTAN FREY — 30 years, 80 kg, 173 cm

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The Effect.indd 6 6/7/2017 11:22:47 AM
 THE EFFECT
EXPERIMENT BEGINS

DR. JAMES. Have you ever suffered from depression?

Connie, one arm across herself, leaning back slightly.
CONNIE. No. I’ve felt depressed. But.
DR. JAMES. In what way?
CONNIE. What I mean is, I’ve been sad.
DR. JAMES. But not depressed.
CONNIE. No.
DR. JAMES. There’s a difference(?)
CONNIE. Yeah. I—, it’s an illness, isn’t it.
DR. JAMES. Mm Hm.
CONNIE. Well, you tell me. I just mean I haven’t got an abnormal
amount of chemical—in the brain or anything.
DR. JAMES. And that’s depression?
CONNIE. Yeah. Sorry, I—
DR. JAMES. No, I’m interested.
CONNIE. Just. I’d never say, oh I’m depressed.
Well I would, but just meaning sad. You know cos. That’s. I’m not. So.
DR. JAMES. You’re just sad?
CONNIE. When I am. I’m sad.
DR. JAMES. K. And there’s no chance you could be pregnant?
CONNIE. No.
DR. JAMES. What contraception are you using?
CONNIE. None.
DR. JAMES. Are you in a relationship?

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 CONNIE. Yup.
DR. JAMES. Are you sexually active in that relationship?
CONNIE. I have had sex. Um, I hope to have sex again.
DR. JAMES. But you’re not having sex right now?
CONNIE. No, not…Right now(!)
DR. JAMES. And what was the date of your last period?
CONNIE. I always feel like I should know that. A couple of weeks ago?
DR. JAMES. Are you asking me or telling me?
CONNIE. I am…pretending to know.
DR. JAMES. K. I need your help, Connie. We get a lot of men at
these. This is why. Drug trials are safe but you consent for yourself.
You can’t consent for someone else. So I need to know for sure
you’re not pregnant.
CONNIE. Well give me something to pee on and I’ll pee on it.
DR. JAMES. Right.
Do you smoke?
Tristan is sat. He leans forward, one foot dancing.
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Have you drunk alcohol in the last twenty-four hours?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Have you taken drugs, medicinal or…otherwise in
the last six to eight weeks?
TRISTAN. (Thinks.) Hmm, Pretty su—No(!)
DR. JAMES. Any poppy seeds in the last forty-eight hours?
TRISTAN. Poppy seeds?… No.
DR. JAMES. So if your test comes back positive for opiates, I’m
gonna assume that was the heroin. Not a bagel.
TRISTAN. Fine by me(!)
DR. JAMES. Do you or have you ever suffered from irritable bowel
syndrome?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Cancer of the bowel?

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 TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Cancer of the throat, lungs, or skin?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Arthritis?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Dementia?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Type 2 diabetes?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Type 1 diabetes?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental health
problem or been hospitalized for a period of more than twenty-
four hours?
TRISTAN. No.
DR. JAMES. K.
TRISTAN. Clean sweep!
DR. JAMES. I’m not sure avoiding senile dementia is something
you can take full credit for.
TRISTAN. Hey my body can.
DR. JAMES. So you know and accept you must remain within the
facility for the four-week period and hand over all electronic devices
during that time?
He hands her a phone.
TRISTAN. One cell phone. There’s no passcode, so, no looking
through the photos.
DR. JAMES. So you’ve done this before?
TRISTAN. Couple of times.
DR. JAMES. Then you know what happens now.
TRISTAN. Think I go somewhere and… (Gesture: “drain the snake.”)
DR. JAMES. You can do it here if you want I’ve seen it all before.
TRISTAN. Uh… I will if you want…

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 DR. JAMES. No…
TRISTAN. No(!) I’ll go…empty myself out.
DR. JAMES. K.
TRISTAN. You’re an attractive woman, Dr. James.
DR. JAMES. Thank you, Tristan.
Connie and Tristan both clutch specimens of their urine.
Hers is paler.
TRISTAN. Like me to take that for you?
CONNIE. Pardon? No. Sorry.
TRISTAN. That’s okay.
CONNIE. Do you work here?
TRISTAN. I’m just going that way with—. I’m the same as you. Here.
CONNIE. Oh I don’t—are you allowed to take other people’s—?
TRISTAN. No, probably not. You’ve got to sign all that shit. I could
do anything to it! I won’t(!) You don’t have to hide it.
CONNIE. I’m not particularly.
TRISTAN. Show me then.
CONNIE. No.
TRISTAN. It’s warm, that’s the thing isn’t it? But we’re warm. If it
was cold we’d be dead.
CONNIE. You need to drink more water.
TRISTAN. I do! I will. Don’t usually get girls here.
CONNIE. You do these a lot then?
TRISTAN. Some.
CONNIE. And they’re okay?
TRISTAN. Oh yeah! These? Used to be better. Now everyone shows
up with their laptops, headphones, it’s more (Gesture of everyone in
their own space.) …used to be more like a…social experiment. The
hard part’s living in a small space with a bunch of strangers.
CONNIE. And this is a long one.
TRISTAN. It is. Don’t worry.
CONNIE. I’m not.

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 TRISTAN. You might not even be on it. But you can tell.
People say they wouldn’t do this, people who’d take a pill off a
stranger or do a line at a party, like they know where that’s from.
You at the university?
CONNIE. Yeah.
TRISTAN. I think they pay you more, you know.
CONNIE. / What(!)?
TRISTAN. Yeah. Trials like this they don’t want the immigrants
they usually get. They need English first language so you can, you
know, talking isn’t, you know,—no trouble how to, uh…—
CONNIE. Articulate?
TRISTAN. (Smiles.) There you go(!) Fuck!
Sure you don’t want me to carry it for you. Like a gentleman would.
He reaches out for her specimen.
She scowls. She is holding it by the top, uncomfortable.
CONNIE. No.
TRISTAN. Can I touch it.
CONNIE. No!
TRISTAN. Don’t be a princess!
CONNIE. I’m not!
TRISTAN. Why you holding it like that, it was part of you a second
ago…
CONNIE. I’m just. Nothing(!)
TRISTAN. I’m teasing.
CONNIE. I know. I’m not ashamed of it(!)
Connie goes over and touches his specimen. She feels its
warmth and can’t help a little grimace.
She lets go.
TRISTAN. Well you’re gonna have to be my friend now.
Admissions procedure. Tristan and Connie (all volunteers)
are changed into clinic outfits. Their blood pressures are taken,
alcohol levels checked, weight, height are monitored.
Dr. James looks to her electronic tablet, the modern equivalent

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 of a clipboard, and begins typing on it. When she does this,
her words appear on a screen.
Text, gradually appearing, reads:
“First 25 mg dose of agent RLU37 given at timed intervals as
of 19th March 2016, 19:11 [or whatever date and time it is].”
Dr. James, armed with a timing device to measure the
dosing intervals, gives Tristan a pill that has been emptied
into a plastic cup and then a plastic cup of water to wash
it down with.
DR. JAMES. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
He swallows it. His mouth is checked. Connie is next.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Connie takes hers. Her mouth is checked. It continues,
theoretically, with other volunteers.
Medical tests are carried out: temperature, weight, height,
pupil dilation, reaction, and electrodermal response.
Connie and Tristan both eat the same amount of the same
food from the same sort of trays. They drink the same
amount of water from the same plastic cups.
(Maybe they both have a cannula fitted to their arms.)
Connie and Tristan are put into beds, sitting up, and an
EKG administered to monitor their hearts.
It does so.
Tristan has blood drawn. He watches the process.
Blood is drawn from Connie, who looks away from it, slightly
squeamish. Her heart rate goes wild.
It ends. She uncrumples. Both have been provided with a
juice box and a cookie.
CONNIE. D’you want my cookie?
TRISTAN. Thanks but I can’t. If I’m one cookie up and you’re one
cookie down that could throw off all of medical science.
She starts to eat her cookie. It’s not very nice.
DR. JAMES. Wait here, please.

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 Dr. James can come and go throughout, performing tests on
the volunteers if desired and lines changed accordingly.
TRISTAN. Where d’you sleep?
CONNIE. Oh, down the hall, they showed me.
TRISTAN. I’m with ten sweaty dudes. You’re biologically blessed.
She is biting her nails.
You bite your nails?
She nods, guilty.
He holds his hand out to her to show he does too, badly.
Me too.
She takes it, looks, smiles.
CONNIE. (Warm.) God(!) They’re really bad!
Looking at each other’s hands, Tristan sees her wristband.
TRISTAN. No shit!
CONNIE. What?
TRISTAN. We have the same birthday.
CONNIE. The 29th?
TRISTAN. Yeah!
She looks at his DOB on his band.
CONNIE. Oh yeah!
TRISTAN. How weird is that? The exact same / birthday(!)
DR. JAMES. / Could you lie down please.
TRISTAN. What are the chances of that?
CONNIE. Actually, I don’t think it’s that unusual, I mean it’s not as
unlikely as you’d think.
TRISTAN. How d’you know what I think?
CONNIE. Sorry, than most people would think. I mean in a group
of people, the group doesn’t actually have to be that big for you to
share a birthday. Cos probability-wise you’re not saying how likely is
it this person was born on a particular date—one in 365 obviously.
You’re just saying, of all the dates, how likely is it that two people in
a group would have the same?

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 TRISTAN. Well I think it’s a sign.
CONNIE. Right.
TRISTAN. I think we’re twins. Identical twins. They decided to raise us
in different environments to see what the long-term effects would be.
Me, Shreveport, Louisiana, some shithole on the Red River. And you…?
CONNIE. Delaware.
TRISTAN. Delaware. Turns out it had a massive effect.
DR. JAMES. Can you sit down please?
CONNIE. What are you doing for your birthday?
TRISTAN. Leaving, never coming back.
I’m going backpacking, straight after.
CONNIE. Oh cool!
TRISTAN. This is for the cash. Does your man not mind you doing
this?
CONNIE. My man? No. I—No, I do what I…like(!)
TRISTAN. Sure, you’re like that. I got a man but I don’t need a
man, Beyoncé and shit.
CONNIE. He’s away so—
TRISTAN. Away for work,?
CONNIE. No.
TRISTAN. Bachelor party?
CONNIE. No.
TRISTAN. …Is he in prison?!
CONNIE. What? No!
He’s visiting family.
TRISTAN. Oh. Not with you though.
CONNIE. With a friend.
TRISTAN. Oh.
CONNIE. With his son.
He’s got a little boy. From before.
TRISTAN. Nice.
So you’re happy?
CONNIE. Don’t do that.
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 TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. That. Are you happy thing. That thing guys say when /
they’re—
TRISTAN. / I’m sure you are—!
CONNIE. Cos who ever actually says, yeah I’m perfectly completely—
TRISTAN. Some people do.
CONNIE. Okay, yeah, well.
TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. I am.
TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. (Unhappily.) Happy!
TRISTAN. Where would you go? India, I’m thinking.
CONNIE. I don’t know. I wouldn’t go anywhere exotic actually. I
want to see Yosemite again. Ugh it blew my mind. You feel so small
but not in a bad way? Like you’re part of something.
TRISTAN. But also…free.
Connie nodding, yes.
CONNIE. I’d like to see a wild horse.
TRISTAN. Uh huh.
CONNIE. And hold a gun.
TRISTAN. Sure.
CONNIE. I wouldn’t shoot the horse(!)
TRISTAN. (No!) Why don’t you go then?
CONNIE. Why don’t I go?
TRISTAN. Yeah.
CONNIE. Money, time. There’s so much to do.
TRISTAN. Yeah. It’s great.
She laughs, looks at him, intrigued.
We hear their EKGs gradually slow and settle into a calmer
rhythm and eventually they beep/beat together.
The word appears on a screen in a blue font: “DEATH”
CONNIE and TRISTAN. Blue.

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 Dr. James types and text reads:
“The Stroop Test.
Volunteers view trigger words but name only the color in
which the word appears. Subject takes longer to distinguish
the color of words that are psychologically relevant or
troubling to them.”
Various words appear on the screen in color. Tristan and
Connie (separately in theory) have been naming the colors
they appear in.
During above, as needed: “BEAUTY” (yellow). “CHAIR”
(white). “TEST” (red).
“GUILTY” (Green): Connie names the color after Tristan.
“BABY” (Blue): Together.
“FATHER” (White): Tristan after.
“JOY” (Green): Together.
“DIET” (Yellow): Connie after.
“LONELY” (Red): Beat. Together.
“BREASTS” (Purple): Tristan after. He’s amused.
“MEMORY” (White): Together.
“BLUE” (in yellow):
CONNIE. Blue. Shit. Sorry. Yellow.
She corrects herself. Tristan gets it right.
DR. JAMES. It’s okay. It’s not that kind of test.
CONNIE. Dr. James.
It is now just Connie and Dr. James.
Sorry, I don’t know if it matters. But I know about the Stroop Effect.
That it’s how long it takes to say the color, the more meaningful the
word. I don’t know if it matters. If you know.
DR. JAMES. No.
CONNIE. Oh. I thought knowing might make me try to…beat it.
DR. JAMES. In most cases being aware of your own bias doesn’t
actually mean you can affect that bias.
CONNIE. Really?

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 DR. JAMES. Yes. It’s one of life’s tragedies. Do you want to hear this
story again? You can hear it a total of two times.
CONNIE. Okay.
DR. JAMES. You open up a dry cleaners. On the border between
two towns. Your business is the only one of its kind in the surrounding
area. You prosper and reactions from your customers indicate the
cleaning is of good quality.
CONNIE. Okay.
DR. JAMES. You hire more staff which is an outlay but improves
customer service, and you wonder about applying to the bank for a
loan to open up a chain. As you had expected the bank approves
the loan.
CONNIE. Go me!
DR. JAMES. Now a quick memory test, can you tell me the nature
of your business. Was it A) A florist or B) Dry cleaners.
CONNIE. B.
DR. JAMES. And where was the business set up was it A—
CONNIE. On the border / between two towns.
DR. JAMES. / In the center of town or B) On the border between—
yes. And the reason for your business success was it A) Lack of
competition or B) A good business plan?
CONNIE. (Thinks.) Sorry, what?
DR. JAMES. The reason for your success—
CONNIE. You didn’t say. So am I me? Am I now a dry cleaner?
DR. JAMES. Remembering the story I told you, What was the reason
for your success?
CONNIE. It’s impossible to say. Is this a test of memory?
DR. JAMES. This is the last question.
CONNIE. Afterwards will you tell me why?
DR. JAMES. Why?
CONNIE. I’m a psychology student.
DR. JAMES. Then you can figure it out yourself. What was the
reason for your success?

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 CONNIE. (A shrug somewhere.) A) Lack of competition. There’ll
be like a hundred factors in this fictional town’s economy.
DR. JAMES. Okay.
CONNIE. So if I’d said my business plan.
DR. JAMES. Then what?
CONNIE. Then I’d be taking responsibility for the success—
DR. JAMES. Right…
CONNIE. So what’s that got to do with the trial?
DR. JAMES. People prone to depression, Connie, they tend to
attribute success to external causes and failure to internal ones.
CONNIE. So if I do well it’s because of something outside of me,
but if I do badly it’s my own stupid fault.
DR. JAMES. Exactly.
CONNIE. What would a “normal” mind do?
DR. JAMES. Well a so-called “healthy” mind, the healthiest mind
would think if things go well it’s down to me, / I did that—
CONNIE. / (I’m amazing)
DR. JAMES. —and if it goes badly—
CONNIE. They’ve been unlucky.
DR. JAMES. Victim of circumstance, yes. You’re studying psychology?
CONNIE. (Nod.) And social science.
DR. JAMES. Wow. Never too late to become a real doctor, you know(!)
So is that why you’re here, interested in trials?
CONNIE. Yes, and depression.
DR. JAMES. Mother or father?
Beat.
Sorry. My background’s in psychotherapy.
How do you feel?
CONNIE. A bit awkward.
DR. JAMES. No I mean physically.
CONNIE. Oh. Fine. A bit tense you know “up” like, something’s
going to happen. I keep thinking my hearing’s really good, that’s
crazy isn’t it?! But Tristan said the same.
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 DR. JAMES. Well the agent’s designed to increase levels of dopamine—
CONNIE. Okay.
DR. JAMES. And that’s what’s stimulated by new, exciting experiences
generally so…
There’s an old joke actually. How does it go. So. There’s this medic at
a conference and he’s fallen for a girl there who hasn’t looked at him
twice. Now he knows dopamine is the initial trigger in falling in love
but also that dopamine is stimulated by new, exciting experiences.
So to try and get the girl he arranges for them to go bungee jumping
together, try to set up his own chemical reaction. So the instructor
ties them together and they stand over this incredible valley and he’s
got his arms round her and they fall headlong into this incredible,
adrenaline-filled rush—their dopamine levels go wild. And eventually,
they get lifted back onto the bridge, they get their breath back and
he looks into her eyes and says, “Wasn’t that amazing?!” And breath-
lessly she answers, “Yes! And isn’t the instructor handsome!”
Beat.
It’s a sort of a science joke so…
CONNIE. No, I like it. Cos it’s the instructor…
DR. JAMES. Yes, that she’s…yes.
Toby enters, perusing medical records Dr. James has given him.
TOBY. This is great, isn’t it.
DR. JAMES. I’m not sure it’s good or bad it’s just the case.
TOBY. Nice work.
Different from what you’re used to I bet.
DR. JAMES. Different.
TOBY. Easier.
DR. JAMES. Different.
TOBY. Elevated mood.
DR. JAMES. Yes.
TOBY. Increased energy levels.
DR. JAMES. Yes.
TOBY. Weight loss(!)
DR. JAMES. Mm-hm.
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 TOBY. And increased height?!
DR. JAMES. Average 2 centimeters.
TOBY. Height?
She nods.
Doesn’t seem likely.
DR. JAMES. Well I’m not raising the floors.
TOBY. I didn’t even think we were monitoring height.
DR. JAMES. I monitor everything.
TOBY. I see that. Why are you doing psychological tests? Of this
quantity. It’s phase 1, physical.
DR. JAMES. Well everything’s physical ultimately, isn’t it.
TOBY. …Okay!
But an anti-depressant effect in healthy volunteers, that’s extraordinary!
DR. JAMES. Barely a week in, they know they’re being given an anti-
depressant, it’ll be their expectation, surely?
TOBY. Could be. But the new design is fast acting…
DR. JAMES. Sorry, I just assume it’s psychological.
TOBY. Robust objectivity. There we go. It’s great to see you Lorn. I
mean I know I saw you at the—but I mean alone. You look really well.
DR. JAMES. —
TOBY. I bet you think I’m looking old.
DR. JAMES. What? No, don’t say that, you make me think you’re
thinking that about me.
TOBY. No!
DR. JAMES. I should say thank you for this. I know I wouldn’t—
it’s good / of you.
TOBY. / Oh don’t (even)—it’s just great to see you, for you to be
here. Let’s do this thing properly, huh.
DR. JAMES. What does that mean?
TOBY. Nothing.
DR. JAMES. I wasn’t just going to circle random numbers, Tobe(!)
TOBY. No no, I’m honestly… You know how things are. We could
do with fresh eyes.
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 DR. JAMES. I thought so.
TOBY. Believe me I don’t want to spend five weeks on a trial that
gets discredited. That’s why we’re developing new gens.
DR. JAMES. Because the old ones have been discredited.
TOBY. No, they haven’t been discredited, the studies that discredited
our original trials have themselves been discredited now.
DR. JAMES. In new studies by you…
TOBY. Yes. Well us.
DR. JAMES. And how are you? How are the kids?
TOBY. Great, thank you, yeah. I got engaged!
DR. JAMES. Oh! Congratulations! Wow(!)
TOBY. Yes and divorced, obviously. I should probably say that first.
DR. JAMES. Oh, well, congratulations again(!)
TOBY. Thanks. It probably should have happened before…
DR. JAMES. Well. That must have been hard.
TOBY. No. For the best. It’s all good.
DR. JAMES. Yeah no, I think I heard actually, is she a lab assistant
at MB?
TOBY. Yes where d’you hear that?
DR. JAMES. I ran into Bill Fitzgrove at Customs ages ago and he said—
TOBY. God Bill, Did you, yeah, he worked with her—
DR. JAMES. Mm.
TOBY. How is he? Still NU?
DR. JAMES. Yes. But, Alzheimer’s now.
TOBY. Great! You mean he’s—
DR. JAMES. Oh yeah, researching, he’s not…(!)
TOBY. Good(!) huh. Yeah. Did we—Did I meet him with you?
DR. JAMES. Yes at that conference.
TOBY. God, yes, and he came over at the bar—
DR. JAMES. That’s right. After your talk and you / dropped—
TOBY. / That’s right. I still do that talk—
DR. JAMES. I know.

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 TOBY. Well a variation of it, for Raushen.
DR. JAMES. With the uh?
She mimes an action, carrying a bucket. He mimes it back.
TOBY. Yes.
DR. JAMES. (Remembering.) I remember. He came over after and
you dropped your cigarette, and I was hopping around cos it burnt
my leg—
TOBY. What?
DR. JAMES. You remember. He was introducing himself—
TOBY. No, I do, but you dropped it, and—I don’t smoke.
DR. JAMES. Of course you don’t, nobody smokes now, you did then.
TOBY. Did I? No I didn’t—Only…
DR. JAMES. I have a scar!
TOBY. Well to be fair we don’t know what caused the scar—
DR. JAMES. No.
TOBY. But I’m sorry if that’s true.
DR. JAMES. I wasn’t serious.
Beat.
When you could smoke indoors(!)
Mini-beat.
TOBY. Really good to see you looking so well, though, Lorna.
DR. JAMES. / You too.
TOBY. I’ve got to do one of these trial development seminars
tonight, but I’ll be back next week for the scans. Let’s sign off first
dosage escalation now if you’re happy?
Slowly and slightly, Dr. James nods.
DOSAGE INCREASE: 50 mg
Dosages are administered. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
A man enters with a bucket. It is Toby.
(To audience, at an industry event.) Hello. Welcome to Raushen.
This couldn’t be more glamourous, could it, a man comes on with a
bucket. Don’t worry, the money’s gone on what’s inside. I’m Toby,

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 I’m a psychiatrist, I’m afraid. My father was a heart surgeon and
when I told him I wanted to specialize in psychiatry he said, “Oh
really? The Cinderella of medicine?” Ugh
He gestures to a knife in his heart.
Dad thought psychiatry was bullcrap about Freud and how we’re
all obsessed with our parents. So. I devoted my life to proving Dad
wrong(!)
But seriously, I do think I’ve vanquished my father in a way because,
I didn’t want to be a heart surgeon. I didn’t want to be a plumber of
the body. I wanted to be an explorer.
He removes something from liquid in the container and
holds it aloft and looks at it. It is a human brain.
So I became a psychiatrist and of course, like all doctors, my chosen
speciality is defined by what goes wrong. When the brain goes
wrong there are causes and symptoms, like with anything else. But
cos we think with our brain we struggle to frame it as a piece of
biological machinery. We’re happy to have heart transplants and
liver transplants, but we can’t imagine a brain transplant. Because
nowadays we think our soul is in here. But that sense of “us” is just
a tiny part of what’s going on at any moment. As you sit listening
to me your brain’s taking care of a lot of things so you don’t have
to, consciously: Breathing, heart beating, forcing that chili dog
you had for lunch through your gut. Positioning your spine in
your seat, which doesn’t look very comfortable, sorry about that.
Swallowing, so you don’t choke on your saliva. Now, if we suffered
a neurological oddity that meant we couldn’t swallow we’d see
nothing wrong with addressing and repairing that in the brain.
It’s the same with mental illness. It doesn’t make people crazy or
incapable or dangerous in soul. They’re ill. We are many of us going
to experience a mental health condition in our lifetime. We’re past
this notion of the “sane” and the “insane”! Why not call ourselves
the insane and the “not insane right now”? Managing our mental
hygiene is a life’s work and part of that is how we medicate, or
supplement. The psycho-pharmacological revolution is the defining
event in medicine in my lifetime. I’m proud to have been a part of
that. My father lived just long enough to see it. He ran three miles a
day into his seventies, he didn’t touch red meat, what got him in the

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 end was up here. But in one of his more lucid moments, he decided
to donate his brain to science for teaching and research into this
field. (He talks to the brain.) So thank you Dad. Thanks to people
like you, the Cinderella of medicine got to go to the ball.
Moonlight.
Connie and Tristan enter a very large room. It is an unused
dilapidated recreation area, once something grander.
CONNIE. Oh my gosh.
She instinctively gets closer to him.
TRISTAN. Fuuuck.
CONNIE. Was it actually an asylum?!
TRISTAN. Yeah I knew there was one here but they boarded it up.
Imagine them all in here, rocking.
They make noises that echo.
Why do they keep it?! It’s falling apart.
CONNIE. It’ll be landmarked. It would cost them more to renovate
than close it off like this.
TRISTAN. You’re such a grown-up.
CONNIE. It’s amazing to be somewhere with space.
Connie enjoys the space. She does something gymnastic.
They share a cigarette.
(Re: her gymnastics.) Can you do any tricks?
TRISTAN. I’ll show you on one condition.
CONNIE. What?
TRISTAN. Come travel with me after this.
CONNIE. !
TRISTAN. Why not? Doesn’t have to be for long.
We’ll go anywhere you want.
CONNIE. I’m not going away with you. I barely know you.
TRISTAN. What do you want to know?
CONNIE. Tris, I’m not doing that, my school, my relationship, my life.
TRISTAN. Don’t be so practical!

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 CONNIE. You’re the one being practical! For me it’s insane!
TRISTAN. You think your parents would like me?
CONNIE. !
TRISTAN. Do they like him?
CONNIE. Stop it.
TRISTAN. I bet they don’t. He’s older, right? Is he older?
CONNIE. …He’s in his forties.
TRISTAN. Nice! Unspecific. Just tell me he’s not your teacher or
anything.
CONNIE. He’s not—stop.
TRISTAN. Just tell me it’s not that.
CONNIE. It’s not. He never taught me.
TRISTAN. Oh fuck.
CONNIE. The reason I don’t care what you think is I know what
you think and I know it’s not true.
TRISTAN. Boring anyway. Let’s go back to what do you want to
know about me?
CONNIE. Nothing, Tris, seriously.
TRISTAN. Nothing?!
CONNIE. No I do, sure I do. You’re very interesting. Just. I feel
weird. I don’t feel what I’d feel like in real life.
TRISTAN. This is real life. When is it real?
CONNIE. No I mean. The anti-depressant, the doctor said, they’re
designed to stimulate, like dopamine. Which is the rush you get if
something exciting happens or, when you—well it’s fake, it’s a
chemical that feels like. Like falling for someone. So forgive me if I
take everything with a big pinch of, you know…
TRISTAN. What you think I don’t like you for real cos of the—?
CONNIE. I think it’s a strong possibility.
TRISTAN. Bullshit. I can tell the difference between who I am and
a side effect.
CONNIE. With respect Tristan, no you definitely can’t.
TRISTAN. You’re saying any attraction here is cos of the trial.

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 CONNIE. Part of it could be.
TRISTAN. (Quietly pleased.) You must be basing that on feeling a
sort of attraction then?
CONNIE. I didn’t say that…! It’s a chemical reaction, is what I’m
saying
TRISTAN. But I’m still me.
CONNIE. No, yes, you’re you, but under the influence of something.
If you were drunk and saying “I love you, you’re my best friend” I
wouldn’t believe it either.
TRISTAN. Why not? Men mean that when they say it, they just
can’t say it when they’re sober.
CONNIE. Yeah when they know that person—I don’t know, I’m
just telling you what the doctor said.
TRISTAN. What does she know? They don’t know anything,
Knowledge is a myth.
CONNIE. Okay…
TRISTAN. They wouldn’t be trialing if they knew. Last time I had
chronic diarrhea for six days straight, nobody predicted that.
They say all kinds of shit, they say you have to give in your phone
because it interferes with the equipment.
CONNIE. You do have to give in your phone because it interferes
with the equipment.
TRISTAN. Jesus, you want a phone? I’ll give you a phone. I give
them a dummy.
He roots around in his bag and tosses her a phone.
Say you got to make a call, get your phone, go to the bathroom,
change SIMs. “Interferes with the equipment.” It’s like when they
say that on planes. It’s just really hard to control a bunch of people
if they’ve got phones. Any time anyone says turn off your phones
you should worry that’s a situation where you might die, not worry
about the fucking equipment…
CONNIE. Can I actually have this?
TRISTAN. (Nods.) I normally sell them but that one’s shit.
CONNIE. (Improvised.) It’s like a burner phone, oh my god, can I

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 call The Wire?! Hello is this the wire, (I’d like to buy some cocaine.)
TRISTAN. You don’t really think that? That I only like you, cos I’m
high or something.
CONNIE. Why not? Everything we do is just about what’s pumping
round us, isn’t it?
TRISTAN. Well that’s a cold way of looking at a person.
CONNIE. Why?!
We are our bodies, our bodies are us,…there’s not something.
more… And that’s fine. That’s enough. It’s like, the world is incredible
and beautiful, even though we know there’s no God behind it. It’s even
more amazing for that.
TRISTAN. Wait, we know there’s no God behind it?
CONNIE. Yeah, I mean, Sorry. Oh, Really?
TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. You believe in God?
TRISTAN. It’s alright, you look disappointed(!)
CONNIE. No, that’s terrible isn’t it, you just assume—when you
meet someone and you…
TRISTAN. When you meet someone…
CONNIE. And you get along, you assume…
TRISTAN. I knew it! You’re disappointed I believe in God because
you like me! (Thank you Lord.)
CONNIE. Sorry that’s awful.
TRISTAN. No no. Let’s say you’re right, let’s say we’re attracted to
each other, (cos we are you just admitted it and you can’t take it
back,) let’s say we’re attracted to each other and that’s been kicked
off by these…
CONNIE. The dopamine.
TRISTAN. Drugs or whatever. So what?
CONNIE. What d’you mean?
TRISTAN. What difference does it make?
CONNIE. Well clearly it’s something to be wary of.
TRISTAN. It is what it is. Doesn’t matter why.

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 CONNIE. It matters massi—… It’s all that matters.
TRISTAN. Why?
CONNIE. Because, It’s the reason.
TRISTAN. So?
CONNIE. I can’t work out if I understand something you don’t or
you understand something I don’t.
TRISTAN. People meet and fall in love all sorts of ways, doesn’t
matter what starts it. I’m sure there’s a rush of something chemical
if you meet on vacation or…on a bus with a bomb on it, doesn’t
mean Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock aren’t really in love.
CONNIE. …Are you talking about the movie Speed?!
TRISTAN. It was on in the rec room yesterday—
But you think it’s fake. What, you think by now, Keanu and Sandra
are just sat in silence in some restaurant, thinking god all we had in
common was that bus.
CONNIE. (Laughing.) Yeah I do actually, I do!
TRISTAN. I like your laugh.
CONNIE. You know why?
TRISTAN. It’s sexy.
CONNIE. No actually why. It’s a show of submission.
TRISTAN. It’s what?!
CONNIE. Laughing is a way of showing submission, so men like it
when women laugh. It shows they’re dominant.
TRISTAN. What the fuck?! You laugh when something’s funny.
CONNIE. No. You don’t laugh out loud alone watching a sitcom.
TRISTAN. Yes you do.
CONNIE. You don’t. It’s social. It says “I’m clever, I get the joke,” or
to show someone you’re attracted to them. The head thrown back,
the throat exposed.
TRISTAN. That’s not why you laugh. You laugh at something. It’s
not all about you.
I’ve taken drugs before, right? There’s not a drug in the world can
really make you look at someone find them attractive or listen to
’em and find them interesting or—
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 CONNIE. Yes there is!
TRISTAN. Not smell them and…know.
He’s advanced closer and closer until now they can just
about smell the other.
CONNIE. That’s pheromones.
TRISTAN. Is there no mystery for you?
CONNIE. There is, but it’s more than smelling. It takes work.
TRISTAN. That is such a lie. You don’t believe that.
Beat.
CONNIE. I just think it comes and goes. There’s a period of time,
maybe enough to raise a child and then… You know, the few times
I’ve ever loved anyone they’ve always, at some point they’ve written I
Love You in the snow or the sand—on vacation—to me. And it’s
wonderful, but the next time someone…it happens, or the next
even…you think. Oh Okay. Again. And you think of the last time.
And what that meant. And, just for it to get washed away or melt or…
TRISTAN. Some people never get loved like that.
CONNIE. I know.
TRISTAN. If I did that, for you, I’d be holding back the sea from
ever coming in.
CONNIE. (Touched.) You’re sunshine, you know that. I bet you
thought the dry cleaning business was a success cos of your great
business plan, didn’t you?
TRISTAN. Of course. It was.
CONNIE. So you take drugs then, real ones?
TRISTAN. Sometimes. You?
CONNIE. No. I think drugs are like cigarettes or cheese or some-
thing, if you’re at a point and you’re not into them, don’t get into
them, you’ll only have to give it up cos it’s bad for you.
TRISTAN. It’s about trying something new.
CONNIE. But it’s only new once. Then it’s the same as everything else.
TRISTAN. Everything has to be new once!
CONNIE. It’s just a way of distracting yourself.

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 TRISTAN. From what?
CONNIE. From the fact that you and everyone you love is definitely
gonna die.
Mini-beat.
TRISTAN. Well good! I’m glad I’m distracting myself from that!
Good!
CONNIE. Just that thing of, oh this thing will make me happy, no
this thing, no must be that next thing. Like why are you going back-
packing or whatever?
TRISTAN. To see things, meet people. Have my mind…expanded.
CONNIE. Cool man.
TRISTAN. What’s wrong with that?!
CONNIE. Nothing.
Just, like look at this square yard.
She’s talking about the floor.
TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. There’s a whole world here. It’s just what you notice.
Look at the floor.
TRISTAN. Tiles.
CONNIE. Yeah, used to be. Different colors.
TRISTAN. Tiny tiles.
CONNIE. Mosaic. That seems weird.
TRISTAN. Why would people put a mosaic on the floor of a mental
asylum?
CONNIE. Maybe it wasn’t a mental asylum when it was built.
TRISTAN. Or maybe they thought mental patients spend a lot of
time looking down.
She smiles at him.
CONNIE. See all of this, you can get all of this from one square
yard. You don’t need to change continent every day.
TRISTAN. That would work, that would work except for one thing.
CONNIE. What?
TRISTAN. You wouldn’t be here in the first place if it wasn’t for me.

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 Beat.
Come travel with me.
CONNIE. Come on—I don’t know you, I can’t trust you—
TRISTAN. You’ve come into a mental asylum with me at night!
You trust me. I’m going to see a lunar rainbow. In Zambia, there are
three days a year where the full moon hits this waterfall and refracts
the moonlight. You got that in your square yard?
CONNIE. Do your trick.
Beat.
TRISTAN. I could actually.
CONNIE. I really want to see it.
TRISTAN. (I might go outside your square yard is that okay)
CONNIE. (/ That’s fine)
Tristan’s trick. As you like. It is surprisingly good.
[In the original production, he performed a tap dance. It
went as follows:
He cycles through tracks on his phone. He plays one.
He gets drawing pins from an old noticeboard and stabs
them into his soles. As he dances:
TRISTAN. Junior New Orleans tap champion 1994!
Towards the end he puts his arms around Connie to half-
dance with her and leading to a kiss.]
During, Dr. James enters.
DR. JAMES. Oh thank god! I was about to call the police!
CONNIE. Sorry.
DR. JAMES. Are you okay?
CONNIE. Fine.
DR. JAMES. What’s going on?
CONNIE. Nothing sorry.
DR. JAMES. Did you climb out of a window?!
TRISTAN. Fire / escape.
CONNIE. / The fire escape. Sorry.

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 DR. JAMES. Was there a fire?
Beat as they work out whether this is rhetorical.
TRISTAN. We were going kinda crazy in there and wanted to
check out outside—/
DR. JAMES. / Sorry I didn’t realize I was in charge of a bunch of
schoolkids—
CONNIE. Sorry.
TRISTAN. Sorry.
DR. JAMES. You signed a protocol.
TRISTAN. We haven’t done anything to mess / with the—
DR. JAMES. / You have no idea what you’ve done. Have you been
smoking?
She picks up the cigarette butt.
It stinks in here.
TRISTAN. Alright, but yeah we’re not in school, you don’t need to
be a bitch a/bout it
CONNIE. / Tris—!
DR. JAMES. / Nicotine will inflate your dopamine levels for hours,
they’re already elevated from the agent, that affects my results. But
I’m sorry if my experiment that you’re being paid to do is getting in
the way of your moves.
Connie?
CONNIE. Mm?
DR. JAMES. You came here willingly, I assume?
CONNIE. Yes!
TRISTAN. Whoa!
DR. JAMES. Just to be clear, you have signed a consent form
committing to refraining from sexual activity.
CONNIE. Yeah, I know(!) Not that we’ve done anything…(!)
Except what you saw.
TRISTAN. Yeah, you pervert.
They both look at him.
Sorry I don’t know why I said that.

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 DR. JAMES. You can’t disappear with psychiatric medication
coursing through you, I’m responsible for your safety—
CONNIE. Sorry.
DR. JAMES. Bed please. Your own. We have fMRIs tomorrow, go
rest your brains.
Connie and Tristan exit.
Dr. James lights a cigarette and smokes it and hears herself
over the speaker. As she hears her own voice she tries to
control her anxiety.
(Voiceover.) Okay. Just relax. Everything’s fine. Exhale. There’s no
need for anxiety. Just keep your head in one place. Okay. Now I
want you to think of something positive.
The volunteers think of one another.
CONNIE. Tristan.
TRISTAN. Connie.
Connie and Tristan are in MRI machines and the loud, other-
worldly, claustrophobic darkness of MRI envelopes each lover in
their own minds.
Scans of two brains, theirs presumably, onscreen. Tiny incidental
labeling reads Volunteer 2 and Volunteer 7.
Importantly, which scan belongs to which volunteer is unknown.
Observing the two brain scans are Toby and Dr. James.
TOBY. What do you think?
DR. JAMES. What do I think?
TOBY. Yeah, what do you think.
DR. JAMES. I think it’s too early to say.
TOBY. What?!
DR. JAMES. I think it’s too early to say.
TOBY. Dampened amygdala activity.
She nods.
Strong activity in the dopaminergic pathways and the reward centers
of the brain in general.
An anti-depressant effect if ever I’ve seen one!

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 DR. JAMES. If you say so.
TOBY. It’s on a scan, Lorna, right in front of you!
DR. JAMES. I don’t doubt there’s an “anti-depressant effect” going
on. But I don’t think it’s got anything to do with your drug.
TOBY. Well that seems…a coincidence(!)
DR. JAMES. You’re seeing what you want to, Toby. It’s what you do.
TOBY. Professionally speaking, why don’t you think it’s the drug?
DR. JAMES. “Professionally speaking,” two very good reasons. You
asked to see the scans of the volunteers with the greatest effect. Are
you interested in who they are?
TOBY. Of course.
DR. JAMES. K. Two very different clinical histories, backgrounds,
genders even. But they have one thing in common. They are both
involved in an intense and protracted flirtation, with each other.
TOBY. Really? So you think that’s what I’m looking at?
DR. JAMES. I think their physical symptoms and this neural activity
is a result of that…attraction. And it’s obscuring any sense of what
the drug itself is doing.
TOBY. …Unless it is what the drug itself is doing.
If the agent is causing all these symptoms, why on earth wouldn’t
they assume they were infatuated?
DR. JAMES. You think because they feel all the things one would
associate with infatuation they are just…assuming that’s what they are.
TOBY. Assuming, exactly. The body responds a certain way to what
it’s being given, they can’t sleep, they can’t eat, they’re in a constant
state of neural excitement ever since they met, what’s the brain going
to conclude?
DR. JAMES. You think it mistakes that for…love?!
TOBY. Not even mistakes it, creates it. To make sense of the response.
These are healthy volunteers, right? Normal minds?
DR. JAMES. “Normal minds”…
TOBY. You know what I mean. They’re at a midpoint. Now depression
is characterized by deadness of emotion, insularity, lack of engagement
with the world—

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 DR. JAMES. Is it.
TOBY. —the other end of the spectrum, where the agent could be
taking them, is extreme emotion, excess engagement, overwhelming
purpose and feeling. What does that sound like—?
DR. JAMES. Bullshit?
TOBY. What does it sound like?
DR. JAMES. I’m pretty sure it’s not drug effect, Toby.
TOBY. How?! Don’t forget it was just a blood pressure trial where
they discovered Viagra!
DR. JAMES. So what you think you’ve discovered a Viagra for the
heart?
TOBY. Don’t be simplistic. Cannabis, we know, increases suscepti-
bility to schizophrenia, I’m sure there’s a way to create a vulnerability
to something more…positive!
DR. JAMES. That’s not positive, Toby, that sounds like Rohypnol!
TOBY. I’m talking romantically! Medical science has made it so we
all live longer but it takes no fucking responsibility for the fact we
have to be married longer. We could use some help!
DR. JAMES. Instead of giving up, and starting over?
TOBY. Yes. And hey. You’d try anything in the worst of it.
Beat.
DR. JAMES. You can’t “create” emotions, they’re reactions to the world.
TOBY. Sure but “Emotions” aren’t really…“real”
She snort laughs. She’s almost missed this.
I hadn’t seen you in a long time, right? I walk into a room. And I got
flushed and…my pulse goes up…adrenaline and… Now if I hit
you, we’d call that anger. If I run out the room we call it fear. If I do
nothing…
DR. JAMES. Anxiety.
TOBY. Exactly! Why not love? It’s just giving a name to a biological
fact.
DR. JAMES. (Yeah.)… You know, you don’t need to stress the
“chemical nature of things” for my benefit.

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 TOBY. I’m not.
DR. JAMES. Or the “power of medication.”
TOBY. Lorn—
DR. JAMES. Are you interested in why I don’t think it’s drug effect,
Toby?
TOBY. Of course, what do you think I’m interested in?!
DR. JAMES. I think you’re interested in whatever’s most interesting.
TOBY. I’m just alive to possibility!
Okay, what makes you so sure it isn’t our drug?
DR. JAMES. Thank you Doctor, I’m glad you asked. Because number
seven here is on a placebo!
TOBY. Ah.
DR. JAMES. Yes ah.
TOBY. Placebo.
DR. JAMES. So with one of them the effect’s entirely natural.
A sound to indicate scan’s end, resumption of trial protocol
and attendance for dosing.
DOSAGE INCREASE. Text reads:
“Increase in dosage: 100 mg”
Connie’s dose—Connie takes her dosage but goes for the
wrong one. Dr. James corrects her.
No, that’s not yours.
CONNIE. Sorry, does it matter—?
DR. JAMES. That one, please.
Tristan receives his dosage.
TRISTAN. Can I go to the rec room now?
DR. JAMES. No, you’re on your own now.
TRISTAN. (Angry.) Why?
DR. JAMES. Both of you. I’m here to monitor physiological effects,
I can do without you running off and creating your own.
The two lovers are kept apart. This is distressing to them and
heightens their responses.

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 The following in separate spaces somehow, as Dr. James
records stated symptoms:
Okay.
Anxiety? Is that what you’re saying? Anxious.
CONNIE. Sort of. Yeah. But there’s something else.
TRISTAN. Anxiety, yeah, but anxiety if it’s good. Is there a word
for that?
CONNIE. My thoughts are racing, the speed of thought, the
repetition.
TRISTAN. Alive, you know? Like everything’s more vivid?
CONNIE. Can I ask you something?
TRISTAN. Can I ask you something?
DR. JAMES. Sure.
TRISTAN. How’s Connie?
CONNIE. Tristan. When you do these trials, someone has to not
be on the drug right?
TRISTAN. Connie said the same, thoughts racing.
DR. JAMES. What do you mean by that?
TRISTAN. Connie.
CONNIE. Tristan. Gosh, my heart.
TRISTAN. My heart.
CONNIE. Feels like it’s going—
DR. JAMES. Going—?
TRISTAN. Going—
CONNIE. Going, you know?
TRISTAN. I don’t know, harder.
CONNIE. If someone isn’t on the drug, right? Sorry, I can hear my
heartbeat in my ears. But you can’t tell them, right?
TRISTAN. I just feel, vivid. Everything is vivid.
DR. JAMES. It’s not for you to worry about, much better you just
tune in to what you feel.
TRISTAN. My mouth tastes like metal when I swallow.

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 CONNIE. Can I have some water? Sorry, oh, I’m gonna—
Is she going to vomit, no.
TRISTAN. My stomach.
DR. JAMES. How are your bowels?
CONNIE. A bit upset, that’s all, at least I’m losing weight(!)
TRISTAN. I could shit through the eye of a fucking needle!
DR. JAMES. Well we can try that later.
When did the shaking start?
TRISTAN. Today, right, I’m not sleeping, really, look.
He’s holding out his hand. Connie is holding hers out, it’s
trembling.
CONNIE. See? Is this bad?
DR. JAMES. You’re probably dehydrated.
CONNIE. Cos I feel—
TRISTAN. I feel—
CONNIE. I feel—
TRISTAN. I feel—
CONNIE. I feel—
TRISTAN. I feel like I’ve lost weight.
CONNIE. My skin looks better. But I don’t know if that’s, you know—
TRISTAN. CONNIE.
And I don’t know if this is the And I don’t know if this is the
kind of thing you’re after— sort of thing you want—
CONNIE. But I think there’s an effect on um…
TRISTAN. Sex drive’s crazy!
CONNIE. “Libido.”
DR. JAMES. Right.
TRISTAN. I feel…more awake.
CONNIE. I’ve never felt this alert before.
DR. JAMES. Just try and breathe, relax, it’s lights out soon. If you
can get some sleep, that would be better.
CONNIE. Sleep?!

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 TRISTAN. Sleep? Sleep’s for the weak.
CONNIE. I feel like I might never sleep again(!)
DR. JAMES. Alright. Back to your room now, please. Make sure
you’ve got your pack on, yeah?
Someone comes by to get it in the morning.
Tristan and Connie inhabit bodies racked with expectant,
alert physicality, aroused and nervy in separate rooms.
They begin texting each other on the phones that Tris provided.
Every glowing vibrating missive is a jolt of dopamine; a high,
punctuated by a stressful low awaiting the response. They
become faster. It has the quality of shared, separate electro-
shock therapy. It builds, the separation fueling it.
Eventually, Tristan has snuck into her room and he watches
her committedly typing out a message to him. He receives it
silently, and, unseen, sends her another. She leaps to the phone.
Slowly, she turns round to see him.
CONNIE. You shouldn’t be here.
TRISTAN. I know.
CONNIE. How do you feel?
TRISTAN. I feel. Full. I feel almost…holy. Like life is paying attention
to me.
I don’t want to tell you anything about what I feel about you and
what’s hit me about how I feel about you…it’s not fair when you’re…
I want to be good for you.
CONNIE. You’re sweating.
TRISTAN. It’s hot.
CONNIE. I’m cold.
TRISTAN. (Touching his sweat.) God.
Beat.
How do you feel?
CONNIE. Bursting. I can’t stop it. Something’s in me but it’s like it’s
come from outside of me. Like having the weather inside.
TRISTAN. I do too.
CONNIE. Do you? Really?
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 TRISTAN. Yeah, I’m just not fighting it.
CONNIE. Tris, do you feel…different?
TRISTAN. Yeah. No. I just feel…happy.
Tension. Sexual.
I’m not going to take advantage of you.
CONNIE. I think I’m going to take advantage of you.
TRISTAN. I think I’m in love.
CONNIE. Are you? I’m not sure what it is.
TRISTAN. I feel it really though.
CONNIE. Do you? Oh god.
TRISTAN. If you’re in love there’s nothing you can do about it.
CONNIE. But if it’s something else, something else controlling me—
TRISTAN. Then you’re not in control.
CONNIE. Yes.
TRISTAN. Yes.
CONNIE. There’s nothing I can do about it.
He nods. He’s with her.
I’m in love.
TRISTAN. Yes.
CONNIE. That’s such a relief.
They rip off the telemetry boxes they are wearing to measure
their heart rate. They make love.
Darkness.
Light. Connie and Tristan.
TRISTAN. What are you thinking?
CONNIE. What?
TRISTAN. What are you thinking?
CONNIE. I don’t know how to answer that.
TRISTAN. Just tell me what you’re thinking.
Darkness.
Light.

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 Connie is hitting Tristan with his own hand.
CONNIE. What are you hitting yourself for? What are you hitting
yourself for?
TRISTAN. I want you to hit me.
CONNIE. Why?
TRISTAN. Cos then I can show how much I don’t mind.
She hits him again a bit too hard, then makes a sound of
realization and apology and kisses him sorry.
Darkness.
Light.
CONNIE. I’m trying to be honest.
TRISTAN. Why do you have to try?
CONNIE. Because it’s not my default setting, Tris, it’s not anyone’s.
TRISTAN. It’s mine.
Darkness.
Light.
CONNIE. (I’m really heavy though)
Connie is climbing onto Tristan’s legs, who is lying on his
back. His feet rest on the front of her thighs as she balances
in the air and he makes her “fly.”
Whooo!
TRISTAN. Shhh!
Darkness.
Light.
Like what?!
CONNIE. I don’t know like, anything, I think I say… I think I say
“Everything’s going to be fine.” Do I?
TRISTAN. While you’re peeing?
CONNIE. No, before, to make myself. I don’t know.
TRISTAN. Why? Out loud?
CONNIE. Yeah. Quietly. “Everything’s going to be fine.” Like a
distraction so I can… “Everything’s fine”

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 TRISTAN. Are you going to make yourself pee?
CONNIE. No!
Darkness.
Light.
TRISTAN. Where will we live?
CONNIE. Paris, London. A farm. Anywhere.
TRISTAN. I’m opening a dry cleaners.
Darkness.
Light.
They look directly at each other, look away, look back.
Darkness.
Light.
I know they don’t want to see me. You know I hear that from people.
But you know I would have settled. I would have—I was okay being
a disappointment. I was happy to be an acceptable failure.
Darkness.
Light.
Connie and Tristan are making love face to face.
CONNIE. Ask me who’s in charge.
TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. Ask me who’s in charge.
TRISTAN. Who’s in charge?
CONNIE. You are.
Darkness.
In the darkness.
I / love you.
TRISTAN. / I love you.
PAUSE EXPERIMENT
Wait 15 minutes.

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 BEGIN AGAIN

A memory:

TOBY. Are you okay?

DR. JAMES. Yeah, you?
TOBY. Yeah.
DR. JAMES. I remember with mine, it took forever. You know,
years. And this nurse saying to me one day, everyone dies like this
now. Unless it’s a motorcycle accident or someone really old in
their sleep, occasionally, But everyone else it’s like this. A long time
and really really bad.
TOBY. Sure. I mean we’re all supposed to be dead by now. We’re
designed for what, thirty, forty at most? I think people have kids
now when they should die.
A laugh.
DR. JAMES. Sometimes I think I am. I’m dead and my body hasn’t
caught up yet.
TOBY. What?
DR. JAMES. Don’t you get that?
TOBY. What? No(!) How’s your leg?
DR. JAMES. Oh yeah, fine.
TOBY. It’s more than fine, it’s beautiful.
DR. JAMES. No.
TOBY. Show me the scar.
DR. JAMES. No Toby.
They part.
Back today.
Dr. James holding a variety of tampons in her hands. Connie
is choosing between them, slightly shyly.
When did the bleeding start?

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 CONNIE. Just now. This morning.
DR. JAMES. Before or after your dosage.
CONNIE. Before.
DR. JAMES. I’m sorry I can’t give you any painkillers.
CONNIE. I don’t need any. It’s just early, I think.
Dr. James pockets the surplus.
DR. JAMES. So it looks like your monitor came off last night.
Beat.
CONNIE. Oh, yeah, did it?
DR. JAMES. But then you must have put it back on.
CONNIE. That’s right.
DR. JAMES. It’s best to reattach it before you drift off, when you’re
comfortable.
CONNIE. (Making to leave.) Okay.
DR. JAMES. The exact same time as Tristan’s did too.
CONNIE. Oh.
DR. JAMES. I’m missing eight hours of each of your hearts.
Pause. Breathing.
/ Connie.
CONNIE. / That’s weird.
Sorry.
DR. JAMES. What are you sorry about?
CONNIE. Nothing, actually. I wanted to see if he was okay, he was
ill, we’ve both been feeling pretty ba—
DR. JAMES. How do you know he was feeling ill?
CONNIE. How do I know?
DR. JAMES. How did you know?
CONNIE. Text.
DR. JAMES. He texted you on a phone?
CONNIE. Yes.
DR. JAMES. You know phones are banned, they interfere with the
equipment.

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 CONNIE. I know.
Beat.
How?
DR. JAMES. Sorry?
CONNIE. How do they?
DR. JAMES. The signal they give off.
CONNIE. What though?
DR. JAMES. It interferes with medical electronic devices.
CONNIE. It doesn’t seem like that can be true though, people
would just be dying everywhere wouldn’t they?
DR. JAMES. Have you had sex?
I need you to be honest.
Connie makes a sound of discomfort.
Just answer the question, medically! Have you had sex in the last
twenty-four hours?
CONNIE. Yes. But none of it went, where it would have to go.
DR. JAMES. He didn’t ejaculate inside you?
CONNIE. God, no! Don’t write a sonnet about it.
DR. JAMES. You know that’s no protection against anything.
There’s still all kinds of risk.
CONNIE. Really? Or is that like the way phones interfere with the
equipment?
Beat.
DR. JAMES. You know you’re going to have to leave.
CONNIE. Fine. We’ll leave. Least then I’ll know.
DR. JAMES. Not both of you. You.
CONNIE. Why?
DR. JAMES. Because twinkle over there doesn’t have a womb.
CONNIE. No!—Look, we didn’t really. I’m sorry. We were messing
around. There isn’t any risk of anything.
DR. JAMES. I’m not your sex-ed teacher, Connie. I’m trying to run
a trial, which you’ve put into jeopardy.

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 CONNIE. I understand there’s a leasing of bodies involved here,
but you can’t expect to police the way we feel.
DR. JAMES. That is exactly my role. You’re vulnerable. The drug is
designed to stimulate transmitters linked to poor decision-making
and risk-taking—
CONNIE. You can’t give us something that causes poor decisions and
risks then get mad at us for…taking risks and making bad decisions!
DR. JAMES. That’s…a good point. But you have to take responsibility.
You don’t know what you feel.
CONNIE. (Deeply distressed.) I know and it’s horrible!
I think only one of us is on the drug, the way you give them out and
the way I feel today I think he is and I’m not.
DR. JAMES. During all trials some are on placebo, to compare to,
a control.
CONNIE. But if I’m on a placebo, he’s on it, saying all this, I can’t
believe him. It’s driving me crazy!
DR. JAMES. That’s exactly why you shouldn’t be involved.
CONNIE. I think I might be in love with him! You have to tell me.
DR. JAMES. I can’t give you any information. It compromises the trial.
CONNIE. I’ll just tell Tristan we both have to leave and then…then—
DR. JAMES. Is that what you want to do?
Beat.
CONNIE. At home in real life. I have a boyfriend.
DR. JAMES. Right.
CONNIE. And I do love him I think. But if I did why would I—?
I keep thinking is this real, or is that…real?
DR. JAMES. I can’t help you with that.
CONNIE. Why, aren’t you a psychiatrist?
DR. JAMES. I’m a person(!)
CONNIE. Talk to me like a person then.
DR. JAMES. Okay…(?)
Beat.
I was having a rough time, a few years ago. I’d broken up from a

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 long relationship I’d been in forever and that was a big decision and
I’d lost a parent after a long…time. And I was supposed to be going
away for work, a conference, but I didn’t know if I could, I’m afraid
of flying and I nearly didn’t make it.
But I did, and that week turned out to be one of the best weeks of
my life. Professionally and just—I met a lot of interesting people
and got very—you know it was good. And I got on very well with
one guy there who was great and funny and a real force of joy in the
room. Even though I was a mess and he—well he was married. But
it was one of those chance encounters that give you hope, because
you think god, there are great people out there and they seem to
think I’m great and… So on the flight back I was sat next to another
doctor, a woman, and she recognized me and she knew this guy
and she said, oh you didn’t sleep with him did you? And I say no
why?! I did. So apparently he really puts it out there, he’s this
notorious fuckaround on the conference circuit and younger, less
astute girls would, you know. And it was strange cos it wasn’t ’til
then—… As we flew back I sort of felt something dissolve, in the jet
stream, like something got eroded down. And by the time I got back
it was dark.
CONNIE. I’m sorry.
DR. JAMES. No(!) I’m saying it should have ended there, that’s all.
But things went on.
CONNIE. Tristan’s not like that.
DR. JAMES. Okay.
CONNIE. Please. Just tell me what this is.
Beat.
DR. JAMES. Tristan’s not on the drug. Connie. He’s on a placebo.
CONNIE. Oh.
DR. JAMES. You see?
CONNIE. Right.
DR. JAMES. So he’s vulnerable in a different way.
CONNIE. But—he feels like he’s on it—
DR. JAMES. That’s normal.
CONNIE. Is that okay? To lie to him like that…?

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 DR. JAMES. It’s essential. We lie all the time. The history of medicine
is just the history of placebo cos we know now almost none of it
worked.
CONNIE. Gosh my head.
It has to stop, doesn’t it.
DR. JAMES. It has to stop. We’re scheduled to increase dosage
again today. If we can keep this between us…then…you can stay.
INCREASE IN DOSAGE: 150 mg
Connie and Tristan take their pills. Connie ignores Tristan
at the dosing session.
TRISTAN. Something’s wrong, I can feel it.
DR. JAMES. Wrong in what way?
TRISTAN. Why’s Connie pissed at me?
DR. JAMES. I don’t know that she is. I want to focus on the physical.
TRISTAN. I’m shaking like a leaf, I feel on the edge of a heart
attack—
DR. JAMES. Really.
TRISTAN. Yeah and, are you not interested?
DR. JAMES. Of course I’m interested.
TRISTAN. Can I say anything?
DR. JAMES. You can. You’re completely safe.
TRISTAN. Really intense thoughts. You know. Too much.
DR. JAMES. Intrusive—
TRISTAN. Yup. A lot of. Sexual. You know.
DR. JAMES. Okay. I wonder why that might be.
TRISTAN. Normally it’s graphic, but this is…angry.
DR. JAMES. Right.
TRISTAN. Do you not give a shit? Sorry(!) No actually screw it,
this is your drug I’m living. I’m supposed to tell you. Deal with it.
Fuck
Begins clicking his fingers manically.
I feel giddy and I feel dizzy. And I feel tense.
DR. JAMES. Okay.
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 TRISTAN. (Aggressively jokey.) I feel giddy. I feel giddy. (Sung.) I feel
giddy and dizzy and tense!
DR. JAMES. Okay—
TRISTAN. “Okay.”
DR. JAMES. Is it not okay?
TRISTAN. No, just, I tell you that and you’re like. “Okay.” Feels like,
I don’t know, that joke, what’s that old joke, that guy in a doctor’s
office and he’s showing him those inkblot things and he says, “That’s
some people fucking” and he shows him the next one and he says,
“That’s more fucking” then he shows him another one and he says,
“God that’s extreme fucking fucking” And the doctor says, “You
ever think you might have a sexual problem?” And the guy goes,
“Hey, Doc, you’re the one with the dirty pictures.”
Beat.
DR. JAMES. You know humor is a great way of disguising hostility.
Beat.
He does something to scare her. Again half joke, half aggression.
TRISTAN. That’s not disguised, is that better? I miss Connie. I miss
her mouth.
DR. JAMES. You know she’s in a relationship.
TRISTAN. (Wounded, angry.) Yeah I know what the fuck’s it to you?!
DR. JAMES. Do you want to take a break, do this later?
TRISTAN. Not particularly, not fucking particularly.
DR. JAMES. Okay.
TRISTAN. Why are you looking at me like that?
DR. JAMES. I’m just noting your agitation. Is there anything else
to report?
TRISTAN. No. Yeah. Why I was—. Look. Even if I have sexual
thoughts, and I am, there’s no reaction, downstairs. Nothing’s
happening.
DR. JAMES. Right. Are you talking about temporary impotence.
TRISTAN. Well I hope it’s fucking temporary. You don’t want to
get sued.

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 DR. JAMES. For how long?
TRISTAN. Today.
DR. JAMES. Just one day?
TRISTAN. That’s not normal for me, okay? I know my body.
DR. JAMES. That must be worrying.
TRISTAN. Yeah.
DR. JAMES. Are you worried something’s damaged?
TRISTAN. But you can’t look at that, can you?
DR. JAMES. Because I’m a woman?
TRISTAN. No because you’re not a doctor like that.
DR. JAMES. Psychiatrists are doctors. We go to medical school
and everything.
TRISTAN. Oh. K.
Beat.
DR. JAMES. TRISTAN.
Do you want me to— Are you going to take a look?
Is that okay with you?
TRISTAN. Yeah. Fuck it. Amazing. Yeah.
She puts on gloves.
DR. JAMES. Okay, do you want to get yourself ready.
Dr. James exits. Tristan begins to reveal himself, starts taking
pants down. But then…
Tristan waits a beat, then doesn’t see why he should, and
runs, free, to find Connie.
He does. They are reunited.
He hugs her. They kiss passionately.
TRISTAN. I love you. I’m sick with missing you.
Tristan kisses Connie again.
Connie pulls away from Tristan.
CONNIE. No.
TRISTAN. What’s wrong?
CONNIE. I want this to be fair.

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 TRISTAN. Fair? Is this about him? Have you talked to him?
CONNIE. No.
TRISTAN. Do you love him?
CONNIE. I’m just trying to keep this safe.
TRISTAN. Safe? Are you frightened of me now?
CONNIE. No. Should I be?
TRISTAN. Yeah I’m a fucking monster. Just say what you mean.
CONNIE. I am I’m saying no.
TRISTAN. To what?
CONNIE. I’m in a relationship and you’re clearly not a relationship
kind of guy—
TRISTAN. Where’s this coming from?!
CONNIE. You’re a flirt, you know, sort of a player—
TRISTAN. No I’m not!
CONNIE. I’ve seen you flirt with the doctor for god’s sake.
TRISTAN. Are you joking? Christ Connie, she’s nearly fifty!
CONNIE. Yeah, are you saying women can’t be attractive in their
forties?!
TRISTAN. What, I’m the one that’s been “flirting” with her appar-
ently!…
Has she been saying things about me?
CONNIE. It’s none of your business.
TRISTAN. You’re not telling me something.
CONNIE. You’re being weird.
TRISTAN. You’re lying.
CONNIE. I haven’t said anything, how can I be lying?!
TRISTAN. By not telling me things.
CONNIE. There’s tons of things I’m not telling you all the time, or
it would be unbearable!
TRISTAN. That’s the kind of thing people say when they’re lying.
She runs her hands through her hair in stress. Her hair
comes out in her hands.

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 CONNIE. My hair’s coming out.
TRISTAN. Mine’s coming out too.
CONNIE. Yeah but not cos of the drug.
TRISTAN. Fuck you.
CONNIE. I didn’t mean that!
TRISTAN. Just don’t rewrite what’s happened. Don’t make out / I’m—
CONNIE. / I’m not! What do you care anyway? That’s in the past.
I thought you wanted to live now?
TRISTAN. I want you to live now. You’re always talking about what
happens afterwards or how we got here, tell me what you feel now?
CONNIE. It doesn’t matter what I feel, what does it matter—
TRISTAN. / Because I’m asking you!
CONNIE. I don’t know!
TRISTAN. Why are you so scared all the time?! It’s like being with
an old woman!
CONNIE. This is my life!
TRISTAN. Exactly!
CONNIE. You don’t care do you?
TRISTAN. Sure I do.
CONNIE. You just want it NOW. You know maybe you should
start thinking about the future.
TRISTAN. What?!
CONNIE. Well you’re not on spring break here, Tristan, it’s called
living like a bum!
TRISTAN. That’s a terrible thing to say.
CONNIE. Then don’t say I’m boring just cos I’m not giving you
what you want!
TRISTAN. Are you saying I’m not good enough for you?
CONNIE. No I’m saying deal with your own / shi
TRISTAN. / I’m punching above my weight?
CONNIE. —before you make out I’m a coward. I’m happy with
my life.

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 TRISTAN. Ha! Yeah sure you are, you look happy, you look fucking
ecstatic!
CONNIE. You have no idea how I feel.
TRISTAN. TELL ME!
CONNIE. You’re like a child.
TRISTAN. I’m good for a quick fuck but secretly you want the
older, duller man who’s gonna provide and bring some cash to the
fucking table?
CONNIE. Oh my god
TRISTAN. That’s basically what you said—
CONNIE. / what are we even talking about?!
TRISTAN. I’m a bum!
Mini-beat.
CONNIE. I’m the one sat there and watched you do your bullshit
charming act with the doctor and you were kind of a sleaze with me
when we first met, what am I supposed to think?!
TRISTAN. I don’t—You’re the one in a relationship, as you never
shut up abo/ut,—
CONNIE. / You never shut up about it!
TRISTAN. —I’m allowed! I can do what I want!
CONNIE. Oh so I’m a slut now?
TRISTAN. God, drop the paranoia, babe.
CONNIE. Don’t call me babe. It’s so tacky.
Beat.
TRISTAN. Connie. Con. Come on. Kiss and make up.
CONNIE. No, I feel sick.
TRISTAN. I make you sick(?)
CONNIE. I didn’t say that. I’m not going to kiss you. I don’t want
to throw up on you.
TRISTAN. I don’t care. Be sick in my mouth. I’ll eat it up.
CONNIE. God(!)
TRISTAN. What?

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 CONNIE. I just said I feel sick!
TRISTAN. Is this too much for you? You used to something more
refined? Some wine-drinking chino-wearing asshole?
CONNIE. You don’t get to talk about him, you under/stand?
TRISTAN. / I wasn’t! Is that what he’s like! Came to mind pretty fast!
CONNIE. You keep shaking up my view of him and I think it’s
manipulative—
TRISTAN. Of course it’s fucking manipulative!
CONNIE. You’ve never met him!
TRISTAN. That’s why it’s easy to make fun of him! Come on, it’s
a joke!
CONNIE. It’s a joke. Your way out of everything. It’s a joke. So now
I’m a slut with no sense of humor.
TRISTAN. Oh my god you’re insane.
CONNIE. Everything I’m saying makes sense, if there’s a problem
it’s with you understanding!
He makes a sound of frustration.
What do you want to happen? I mean, really?
TRISTAN. I’ll tell you what I want. I don’t want to reason with you.
I want to know right now, in this moment, what you feel.
Beat.
CONNIE. I. I feel. Oh god. I think I don’t love you the way that you
love me.
Ow. Pause.
TRISTAN. Right. Well you want me to look into the future. Fine.
Go home. Suck on his old cock. Stay with him for two years longer
than you ought to, out of guilt for him having left his wife and kid
for you—
CONNIE. He didn’t—
TRISTAN. Tell yourself you’ve invested so much now and it was
nothing with me and, he’s a good dad and before you know it you’re
forty-five, fucked and caring for some old guy with cancer.
Connie bends double with the pain of it.

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 CONNIE. I hate you.
TRISTAN. Have you been calling / him?
CONNIE. / I physically hate you.
TRISTAN. —telling him everything’s fine, you miss him. Have you
used my fucking phone to do that?!
CONNIE. You gave it to me.
TRISTAN. Give it to me.
CONNIE. I don’t have it.
TRISTAN. Liar.
CONNIE. (You’re scaring me.)
During, there’s a tussle. He gets the phone and practisedly
looks through it. He throws it on the floor and smashes it.
Beat.
(Cold.) You just broke your own phone you stupid redneck cunt.
He lunges. They physically fight. She ends up getting hurt.
Stop. Tris.
He sees she is bleeding. She sees she is bleeding. To him it is
a tragedy, to her it is a triumph.
He backs away, in distress. Then to her, in sorrow:
TRISTAN. I’m sorry. Sorry.
It’s these drugs.
CONNIE. Now it is?!
TRISTAN. (Crying.) I can’t take it.
CONNIE. Stop it.
TRISTAN. I’m losing it.
CONNIE. Bullshit. You’re not even on the / drug, Tristan.
TRISTAN. / I’m gonna pass out.
He seems about to be sick.
CONNIE. You’re not on the drug. She told me.
TRISTAN. What?
CONNIE. You’re on a placebo. This is all just you.
His body tries to absorb the information.

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 Toby has arrived, he has rushed, shoulders heaving. Dr.
James is anxious.
DR. JAMES. I feel like something awful’s going to happen.
TOBY. …Okay…(?)
DR. JAMES. I think we should exclude one of the volunteers. A
boy, a guy, the man who’s on placebo in fact. He’s not dealing with
the environment. He’s shown aggression and instability, now he’s
not eating. In any other environment I’d be worried for his mental
health.
TOBY. They’ve been in a sealed ward for four weeks now anyone
would get frustrated—
DR. JAMES. It may be linked to his relationship with the other
volunteer.
TOBY. There’s only one dosage left, surely invalidating the trial—
DR. JAMES. It’s not going to invalidate the trial, removing one
control subject—
TOBY. We have a duty of care to him at this stage.
DR. JAMES. No we don’t, he’s clean, we can just discharge him today!
TOBY. That’s not appropriate.
DR. JAMES. I’m used to helping people, you know, not distressing
them. I don’t think I can do this.
TOBY. Yes you can.
DR. JAMES. Is it me? I’m terrified it’s me. Have I done something?
/ It doesn’t make sense.
TOBY. Okay, Lorna… Calm down. This isn’t what you think. He is
a test subject. His symptoms are relevant. And we need to monitor
him as such.
DR. JAMES. I know he’s on placebo
TOBY. / You don’t know what you’re giving out. It’s active agent just
packaged differently. Deliberately. He’s on the drug. We’re testing
practitioner bias, alongside. Also. To see if there’s a difference in
what you report, depending on what you think they’re being given.
DR. JAMES. You’re testing me?!
TOBY. It’s not un/usual—

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 DR. JAMES. You’re testing me!
TOBY. I know how you feel about this and I still got you this
position, / because I know you’re a good doctor.
DR. JAMES. / Oh god okay, I’m grateful. Thank you Mr. Raushen,
thank you for picking me up off the street in your limo on the way
to the next expo—
TOBY. All we’re doing is monitoring you for practitioner bias
which we often / do with new recruits—
DR. JAMES. / Bullshit. I thought I was losing it!
That’s why you’re testing me isn’t it? /
TOBY. / No
DR. JAMES. —so our volunteer is being medicated with powerful
psychiatric drugs and I’m telling you they cause aggressive behavior
and paranoia, it’s dangerous to continue.
TOBY. We don’t know that’s the drug! You just said, you said
yourself it’s about the relationship with this girl! I’m not closing
down a whole trial because of a lovers’ tiff!
DR. JAMES. This can’t be pulled apart. We’re crazy / to think it can.
TOBY. / This is why we do trials! We’re here to record side effects and
if aggression is a side effect, we’ll note it.
DR. JAMES. There’s no such thing as side effects, Toby, they’re just
effects you can’t sell.
TOBY. God that’s bitter, Lorna.
DR. JAMES. I’ve seen you hold that brain and fleece them for money.
But you think I’m the one that’s biased—(!)
TOBY. You sound it, listen to yourself. You’ve refused to accept the
drugs have any effect, until you think there’s something damaging!
DR. JAMES. You literally only publish trials with the results you like!
But somehow you’re unbiased and I’m… What?
TOBY. You are a good doctor, who suffers profound depressive
episodes which she refuses to medicate. And you’re desperate for
any evidence that supports that position.
Beat.
DR. JAMES. (They don’t work)

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 TOBY. Excuse me?
DR. JAMES. They don’t.
TOBY. How would you know?
DR. JAMES. There’s no evidence for the efficacy of anti-depressants,
there never has been.
TOBY. (In frustration.) DR. JAMES.
Mmmmmmmmm. Everyone who knows, knows
You can do what you like but this is the biggest disaster in the
you can’t speak for most people, history of medicine!
most people improve on anti-
depressants—
DR. JAMES. In the short term!
TOBY. If you’re going to kill yourself tomorrow, what do you care
if it’s short term?!
Every time you have an episode, every time, the brain is altered and
makes the next one longer and deeper. The sooner you medicate,
the more you protect yourself. You could have done that—
DR. JAMES. What, forever?
TOBY. No! Or yes, depending how you are, it’s very common—
DR. JAMES. It’s not an it, Toby, we’re talking about me
What if it’s a symptom? Not a disease. What if it’s a useful pain
that’s throbbing saying, “change your life, change your life” and you
come by with pills and take that all away—
TOBY. Well you never took ’em, Lorna, how’d your life go?
DR. JAMES. Fuck you! You know us so-called “depressed people”
have a more accurate view of the world, a more realistic view of
themselves and others—
TOBY. In mild and moderate depression, yes—
DR. JAMES. Who are the vast majority being medicated! We’re not
deluded. You are.
TOBY. This is what kills me, Lorna. You cling to it. You celebrate
it, almost.
DR. JAMES. I do what?!
TOBY. You don’t want it to be curable, you want it to be grand and
tragic, it doesn’t have to be.
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 DR. JAMES. You think I like it! You think I like / it!?
TOBY. / All I’ve ever wanted is to help you.
DR. JAMES. I don’t want your help!
TOBY. I know and it’s infuriating!
Beat.
DR. JAMES. I swear, Toby, we’re going to look back at this chemical
imbalance shit like it’s the four humors all over again.
I mean, why am I here?
TOBY. …(What,) here?
DR. JAMES. Yeah. Why would you offer me work? This isn’t what
I do. I sit with people, I talk to them, I—
TOBY. I heard you had some trouble. I wanted to help.
DR. JAMES. Yeah but why? You see, I wonder if you feel guilty.
TOBY. About you?
DR. JAMES. Yes.
TOBY. Not particularly.
DR. JAMES. Not particularly?
TOBY. Is this what we should be talking about?
DR. JAMES. I don’t know. What do you think?
TOBY. Are you saying you think I caused it?
An analyst’s silence.
I don’t think I caused it, Lorna.
DR. JAMES. Then why am I here?
TOBY. You’re a good doctor.
DR. JAMES. Then why are you testing me?
Beat.
TOBY. I didn’t cause it and it’s a cruel thing to say.
DR. JAMES. I didn’t say it. You did.
You seem upset.
TOBY. Just—
DR. JAMES. It was years ago.
TOBY. I know.

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 DR. JAMES. And I’ve had what you’d call episodes since then.
TOBY. I know.
DR. JAMES. So why do you feel so bad? Look at me. It’s not your fault,
Toby. In the mountain of shit the world dumped on me that year, the
dump you took was minor. Barely a contributor. It could have been
anything or anyone. So don’t you make it into some big thing.
Beat.
TOBY. I don’t think I caused your depression by ending things,
Lorna. I don’t think I contributed even. But, maybe, maybe I ended
it because of your depression.
DR. JAMES. Right.
TOBY. Maybe that’s worse.
DR. JAMES. No. Just sad.
And are you happy now?
TOBY. Not right now, but yes.
DR. JAMES. …
And how old is she, this new one?
TOBY. What’s that got to do with…—
DR. JAMES. Just wondering. Twenty-eight? Twenty-nine? The
clear skin, the waist not yet traveled up to her tits. We’re all just
walking examples of a biological fact, Toby.
Pause.
TOBY. It’s entirely within our rights to assess you. It was never an
indication of any lack of faith.
I want you to finish this trial. I think you can do it. Then we’ll talk
about the future.
DR. JAMES. (Fine.)
Back with Tristan and Connie.
TRISTAN. What am I feeling then?
CONNIE. I love you. You can feel that(?)
TRISTAN. I don’t know what that is.
CONNIE. (Desperate.) Yes you do! You do.
Tristan rejects her somehow.

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 I can’t bear it when you’re sad in case I caused it. And I can’t bear it
when you’re happy in case I didn’t.
TRISTAN. Sometimes I think I’ll only be happy when you’re dead.
They look at each other, and away, appalled.
Dr. James enters and begins preparing doses.
Text reads:
“Final dosage, highest toleration: 250 mg single dose”
Toby enters wearing the white coat and observes. Dr. James
facilitates, resenting Toby’s stare and the drugs themselves.
The final dosages are administered with the usual countdowns,
Tristan first.
DR. JAMES. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Tristan tosses his dose back with contempt for its nothingness.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Connie, anxious, gets given hers. But Dr. James doesn’t check
her mouth afterwards as she is distracted by Toby.
In the moment, Connie rushes to Tristan and kisses him full
on the mouth.
She’s kept the pill in her mouth to transfer to him, which the
kiss does. She covers his mouth with her hand to encourage
him to swallow.
CONNIE. (I love you.)
He makes the decision to swallow her pill. They look into
each other’s eyes. Dr. James notices them close.
DR. JAMES. What’s going on, / what did you do?
TOBY. / What’s happened?
DR. JAMES. (To Tristan.) Show me the inside of your mouth.
She checks the inside of his mouth with a light, then his eyes
as she sees his pupils are dilating.
Is everything okay, Tris/tan?
TOBY. / Did he take something else?
Toby seeks to intervene, Dr. James turns to Connie, who is
worried they are going to stop him swallowing.

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 This all happens quickly.
CONNIE. No, let him!
DR. JAMES. Did you give / him something else?
TOBY. / Is your name Tristan? I’m Toby. Have you taken anything else?
TRISTAN. I’m / fine.
DR. JAMES. / How much have you given him?
TRISTAN. Connie?
CONNIE. I’m here.
TRISTAN. You’ve got a…halo…
DR. JAMES. Tristan?
Tristan makes a strange sound, he staggers, loses consciousness,
falls to the floor, stiffens. His limbs jerk and twitch. His mouth
gurns. He is having a seizure. He bleeds from his mouth and
wets himself. It is horrific. Dr. James, Connie, and Toby compete
with caring for him.
A scuffle.
Connie withdraws, puts her hands over her ears briefly in
shock, then begins tearing at her skin.
CONNIE. Get it out get it out of me!
An alarm and darkness.
Connie is taken away. Dimly, we make out Tristan undergoing
a blood transfusion, washed through with fresh new blood.
Toby facilitates this. Dr. James is left to clean up.
Tristan is put to bed, alive, resting, recovering. Time passes
and crisis dissipates into waiting.
Dr. James has a bucket in which she finds a brain.
DR. JAMES. We are this three-pound lump of jelly. But it’s not
necessarily me is it? I want to be happy. I want to work hard. I want
to not shout out swear words on the street. I want to sleep.
It must know this. It must want that too. If it’s me. But. Here I am,
where my father held me on a jungle gym and I can see my shoes
on the bar. Here, how much I like meringue. Here’s my respiration
control. Here’s my impulse to kill myself. Here is my controlling
that impulse. “You’re disgusting. And you’re only going to get more
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 disgusting. It’s too late. This all gets worse and you can’t even cope
with now.” Shhh. Let’s not. “You’re like your mother.” It’s too hard.
Other people manage(!) And still. “You can’t do anything. You can’t
work, well you could but you’re lazy. This is the best you’re capable
of looking now and it’s shit and you’re decaying. Look at your teeth.
And everything everyone says about you is right. And you’re weak
and you’re a coward and you’ve ruined people’s lives. And you
should have done it a long time ago and you never will now.” Just put
some clothes on and then we’ll go from there. “It would be better.”
Just put on underwear. Then we’ll deal with the next part. Just do
that. “It would be better just to stop.” But people love you. “No they
don’t. Even the people who love you hate you because you’re hurting
the person they love.” Why can’t you stop?
Collapse.
Eventually…
Now it is Tristan in a bed on a drip.
Connie enters, looks at him. Eventually, he sees her.
TRISTAN. I’m thirsty. Do you have water?
Beat.
She sees there is water, or gets water from her bag.
CONNIE. Hello.
TRISTAN. What day is it? You look scared. What happened? Is it me?
What happened?
He touches his face.
CONNIE. It’s Friday.
TRISTAN. I don’t know anyone. Why am I here? You look frightened?
What happened?
CONNIE. You’ve had a blood transfusion. They told me you have
something called transient global amnesia.
TRISTAN. Have I? Yes. Why are you looking at me, am I still me?
CONNIE. Yeah. You just have new blood. It’s okay.
He panics.
TRISTAN. Can I see?
CONNIE. See what?

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 TRISTAN. I need a mirror.
CONNIE. Oh.
She thinks, looks round, scrabbles in bag, opens up a bit of
make-up with a tiny one, hands it over.
Tristan looks at himself.
TRISTAN. What’s happening? What day is it?
CONNIE. It’s Friday. It’s your birthday.
TRISTAN. How is that today? Show me a thing saying that’s today.
CONNIE. The date?
TRISTAN. Yeah.
She hunts, comes up with only her phone and shows it to him.
You could have changed that.
CONNIE. Why would I do that?
TRISTAN. Have I been asleep then?
CONNIE. You’ve got something called transient global amnesia.
TRISTAN. Yes, I—transient, does that mean—
CONNIE. It’s going to pass. They don’t know when or how long—
TRISTAN. What was I doing before you got here?
CONNIE. I don’t know. I wasn’t here.
TRISTAN. What day is it?
CONNIE. Friday. It’s your birthday.
TRISTAN. No. Is it? Something else.
CONNIE. That it’s my birthday too. You remember that?
TRISTAN. No. Oh god oh god oh god.
CONNIE. You don’t know me, do you. You’re not retaining any
new memories. It’s me. Do you know my name?
No answer.
How do you feel?
TRISTAN. I’m hungry.
Connie finds a yogurt, gives it to him.
CONNIE. We were on a trial. Do you remember?
TRISTAN. Something awful’s happened, I don’t know where I am!
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 CONNIE. You’re in the hospital. Do you know what day it is?
TRISTAN. Yes.
CONNIE. It’s okay if you don’t.
TRISTAN. What day is it?
CONNIE. Friday.
Tristan looks at the yogurt in his hand. Meaning drains
from it. He offers it to her.
TRISTAN. Is this yours?
CONNIE. I’m going to find a spoon.
TRISTAN. Okay.
CONNIE. And then we’ll go from there.
Connie has flowers instead, she’s bright and cheerful, busy,
casual, taking care of things, livening up the room.
TRISTAN. I don’t know anybody here. Why am I here?
CONNIE. Shh, it’s okay. I know. I was just here.
TRISTAN. No, you don’t understand, I just woke up!
CONNIE. I know, you’ve got something called transient global
amnesia—
TRISTAN. Transient, does that mean—
CONNIE. Yes it’s going to pass.
TRISTAN. What day is it?
CONNIE. It’s Tuesday.
TRISTAN. Is that right?! Show me something, with the date on.
Connie gives him a newspaper, practisedly.
I need to see my face—
She gets out a mirror, practisedly, he looks at himself.
I have to go! I—why am I here?
CONNIE. You’re having trouble remembering, forming new
memories.
TRISTAN. I’m trying to think the last thing I remember.
CONNIE. That’s okay.
TRISTAN. But I know you.

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 CONNIE. That’s right, Tris.
She begins giving him a bed bath.
That’s right. Before the seizure. You and me were on a trial. Weeks ago.
TRISTAN. I don’t remember. Do you work here?
CONNIE. No. That’s new, do I work here(!) How do you feel?
TRISTAN. Awful. My balls ache.
CONNIE. I bet they do. You’ve got a hard-on all the time. God
knows why.
TRISTAN. I’m scared.
CONNIE. I know.
TRISTAN. I’m hot.
CONNIE. I know.
TRISTAN. I feel sick.
CONNIE. Relax.
She looks around. She touches his erection under the sheets.
Always. Dear heart.
TRISTAN. Jesus.
He sighs, relaxes. She masturbates him.
I thought you were my sister, maybe.—You’re not, are you? Actually
no don’t tell me.
CONNIE. No. I do this most days. I love how you’re funny. I would
have thought you needed memory to be funny.
TRISTAN. I thought you were going to give me a bath.
She pauses.
CONNIE. Well do you want this or do you want the bath, cos
there’s no point giving you the bath first.
TRISTAN. No. This.
She pecks him on the cheek. She masturbates him. It’s
affectionate but practical. When he’s ejaculated she finishes
washing him, and her hand.
Am I your boyfriend?
CONNIE. I broke up with my boyfriend.

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 TRISTAN. I’m sorry. I’m trying to remember the last thing I
remember. What day is it?
CONNIE. It’s Sunday.
Do you remember me, Tris?
TRISTAN. You’re who I know.
CONNIE. Yes but who is that?
TRISTAN. I—…
CONNIE. How many times d’you think we’ve had this conversation?
TRISTAN. You don’t understand I can’t remember waking up! I
wasn’t there! Oh god this is terrible! Get someone, for god’s sake!
CONNIE. We say this every day.
TRISTAN. No!
What day is it?
CONNIE. It’s Wednesday. I got a haircut.
TRISTAN. I can’t remember anything.
CONNIE. Sorry I was joking.
TRISTAN. Something’s really wrong I can’t, there’s nothing going
on before this?!
CONNIE. I know. You’ve got something called transient / global
amnesia.
TRISTAN. / Transient, does that mean—
CONNIE. Yes
TRISTAN. What (day)—?
CONNIE. (So used to it.) It’s Tuesday.
TRISTAN. What (happened)—?
CONNIE. You had a bad reaction on a trial.
TRISTAN. Where—(am I?)
CONNIE. Hospital. You have a thing.
TRISTAN. I need—
CONNIE. Here.
She gives him a newspaper.
TRISTAN. I need—

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 CONNIE. Here.
She gives him a mirror. She gets out a nail file.
This is the day we do your nails.
She files his nails.
TRISTAN. Do I love you…?
This is new.
CONNIE. I don’t know. Do you?
TRISTAN. I don’t know.
Beat. She absorbs this.
CONNIE. If you’re there. Help me. I don’t care what it was I see
that now. I just want one conversation like it used to be so you can
help me. You won’t believe this but inside I swear, I would rather
get old and argue with you every day than ever love anyone else.
TRISTAN. Why are you sad?
Dr. James in a bed.
Toby enters. He has a cup with pills in it.
Dr. James can’t really respond properly socially; eye contact
and natural limbic response is all gone. It’s like she’s elderly
and exhausted. All social response and interaction takes
effort, which she does her best to provide, and they are
received with a grateful understanding for that.
TOBY. Hey you. Still here I see. Thought you might have made a
break for it.
It’s crazy weather today. Can’t decide anything.
They want me to get after you about the fluoxetine again but I know
you hate it and it’s not my favorite either to be honest.
Do you want to know anything else?
DR. JAMES. (What about the boy?)
TOBY. Well obviously we don’t know what the long-term effects
will be. Turns out he had a history of childhood seizures which was
undisclosed so that’s…
Beat.
I can tell you something, he’s going home with her, the girl from the
trial. He’s in recovery but…

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 It still hurts her and she blames herself.
It’s not your fault.
DR. JAMES. I don’t have enough skin.
She cries.
I just want to go. I want to go.
TOBY. No no no.
DR. JAMES. I’m sorry.
TOBY. This is a storm. It passes.
She doesn’t believe this.
I love you, Lorn. And it’s not romantic with…the lies of that, and
it’s not family…like, a genetic…trick. I just. I’ve built a bit of my
brain around you. And it’s important to me. So. Please.
This is too much emotion.
Do you want me to go?
She’s emotionally exhausted. She nods.
I’m coming back tomorrow. I am. I’ve got stuff in the morning
but…will you think about things for me?
He leaves a cup with drugs in for her.
Around her, but in a different space, Connie and Tristan have
been getting his things together to leave his ward. He is okay,
but vulnerable, his physicality is of a different man, without
some former bounce. She is practical, tired, supportive.
CONNIE. What else?
TRISTAN. That’s it.
CONNIE. Your shoelace.
TRISTAN. It’s alright.
I don’t have bus fare.
CONNIE. It’s okay, I got a cab. I told you.
TRISTAN. A cab(!) I’d have got the bus.
CONNIE. I know you would. I want a cab. We’ll get cash on the
way. Did I do the drawer?
He looks. He’s not sure. She checks.
I’m really nervous about you seeing it. It’s a shithole.
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 TRISTAN. What is?
CONNIE. Where we’re going back to. Mine.
TRISTAN. Why?
CONNIE. Because that’s what we’re doing today.
They head towards the door.
Why don’t you just tie it?
TRISTAN. What? It doesn’t matter.
She bends down to tie his shoe. He doesn’t want this and
goes to do it himself.
Fine.
He does bend down and does the laces.
I’m not not doing it cos I can’t. I honestly just didn’t…care.
CONNIE. (During.) (That’s worse)
TRISTAN. (Joking.) Oh, will you…(shut up woman)
It takes him longer to do than it should an adult, but eventually
he does.
He finishes.
Is it cold?
CONNIE. It’s coldish.
He adjusts some clothing appropriately. They both look
around the room.
Right. Okay? Oh.
She suddenly checks her bag/pockets, looks round the room.
TRISTAN. Y’alright?
CONNIE. Yeah just thought I’d lost my phone. No there it is. Okay.
Happy?
TRISTAN. Yeah. You?
CONNIE. Yeah.
TRISTAN. Okay.
CONNIE. Let’s go.
Connie and Tristan, unsmiling, together, walk out into the
real world.

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 Dr. James, alone, looks at the cup/pills Toby left, decides,
and after counting down from five in her head, takes them.
Underneath this we hear the sound of an EEG: Electrical
activity in the brain produced by neurons firing. Underpinning
this is the bass of a heartbeat from an EKG. These are the
sounds of human love.

END EXPERIMENT

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 PROPERTY LIST
(Use this space to create props lists for your production)

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 SOUND EFFECTS
(Use this space to create sound effects lists for your production)

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