Session # 1 - STEP 1

My name is __________ and I’m a grateful alcoholic/addict. Before we begin

could we have a moment of “quiet time” to invite the God of our own
understanding into our hearts and ask for an open mind and the willingness to
have a new experience…

The Set Aside Prayer:

“Dear God, please help me set aside anything I think I know about myself, about
my disease, about the Big Book, the 12 Steps, the Program, the Fellowship, the
people in the fellowship, and all spiritual terms, especially you God; so that I may
have an open mind and a new experience with all these things.”

WELCOME to the Back to Basics sessions. During the next few weeks, we will
learn how to recover from alcoholism/addiction by taking the Twelve Steps as
outlined in the book “Alcoholics Anonymous”. The Program of AA is a spiritually
based plan of action that will remove the compulsion to drink/use and enable you
to live a life that is happy, useful, and whole.

AA instructional meetings are said to have been started in Cleveland, Ohio by

Clarence S. in the early 1940’s. After the publication of the “Saturday Evening
Post” article about Alcoholics Anonymous, AA started growing so rapidly it became
impossible for the early members to individually take new prospects through the
Steps. These meetings were held for the purpose of acquainting both the old and
new members with the 12 steps upon which our program is based. So that all
twelve steps could be covered in a minimum amount of time, they were divided
into four classifications, and one meeting each week was devoted to each of the
four sub-divisions.

Each group developed its own methods for teaching "Back to Basics." However,
all these groups have something in common. They provide a safe, structured
environment in which newcomers learn the principles of AA, take the Steps, and
have spiritual experiences.

The “Big Book” is our textbook for recovery, and is the only book we will be using
during these sessions except for an occasional reference to the book “Twelve
Steps & Twelve Traditions”. The Big Book was first published in April 1939. It was
written by several of the first 100 people to recover from alcoholism. Since then,
alcoholics have used it all over the world as a program for recovery.
If you cannot find something we say in the “Big Book”, consider it to be opinion
rather than fact.

We'll do our best to keep our opinions out of these discussions. We're here to
pass on the AA program as written and practised by the early members. We are
not here to present our interpretation of the program.

As the title of the book implies, we are an anonymous society. You can be assured
we will protect your anonymity at this and any other meeting of Alcoholics
Anonymous.

If you need to ask any questions while we go through the material please feel free
to do so, but we would like to complete each session within an hour, so we ask
that you rather make a note of any questions, and please save it till the end of the
session.

In order for this process to work during the next few weeks, there are some
suggestions for the new members (or the person going through the Steps) and for
the sponsor/counsellor.

1. It is highly recommended that the newcomer be here every session for the next
few weeks.

2. We will be doing the reading from the Big Book during these meetings. If you’ve
brought your Big Book with you can follow along as we read, but we’ll be going
through the material rather fast. So just try listen as best you can. Remember: we
are here to take the ACTIONS that the Big Book prescribes, not just to study the
book. If you take the Steps as described in the Big Book, you will recover from
alcoholism/addiction.

3. It is important that when writing your Step 4 inventory you receive help and
guidance from your sponsor/counsellor/other members here, that have been
through the work already. Many people try to do their Step 4 by themselves and
wonder why many weeks or months later they’re still not finished. It’s not as
difficult or as complicated as most people say it is. That’s why as part of our
sessions we’ll be starting our inventories together. We understand that this phase
of the program can get quite personal. That’s why the 5 th Step will not be taken in
the session (obviously) but should be completed in private, after we’ve completed
our inventories.

4. It also recommended that sponsors/counsellors keep in touch with the new

members (or those going through the steps) frequently to see how he or she is
doing, and to offer encouragement and assistance through the work. Please make
use of them.

Let’s start this session at the Forward of the Big Book:

[Read: The Doctors Opinion]

“We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who
have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other
alcoholics/addicts precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this
book.”
(Page xiii, ¶ 1)

So, the Big Book tells us immediately that its purpose is to show alcoholics/addicts
how to recover from alcoholism/addiction. Until this book was written, there was
no hope for alcoholics/addicts. Now, anyone who is willing to follow the directions
they have provided can recover.

During this session, we’ll be reading through material in the Big Book and drawing
from our own experiences to help us answer the following questions:
1) Am I an alcoholic/addict?
2) Do I need help?
3) Am I willing to take certain actions to receive that help?

So, let’s begin our journey with the first Step:

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and all other mind-
altering substances - that our lives had become unmanageable.

First Step Prayer:

Dear Lord, Help me to see and admit that I am powerless over my alcoholism.
Help me to understand how my alcoholism has led to unmanageability in my life.
Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness. Remove from
me all denial of my alcoholism. (This prayer is developed from the chapter, More
About Alcoholism)

Surrender is essential in order to recover from alcoholism/addiction. The first 57

pages of the Big Book are devoted to the first part of the surrender process, which
is to admit we have a problem. It’s suggested we read through these pages to find
your truth with alcohol/mind-altering substances and the illness thereof.

The book begins by describing the physical and mental symptoms of

alcoholism/addiction. Later the book asks us to acknowledge that we are
alcoholics/addicts. Before we can do this, we need to know what an
alcoholic/addict is. We’ll be using information from “The Doctor’s Opinion”,
Chapters 1, 2, 3, and the first page of Chapter 4.

“The physician who, at our request, gave us this letter, has been kind enough to
enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he
confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic/addiction torture must believe - that
the body of the alcoholic/addict is quite as abnormal as his mind. It did not satisfy
us to be told that we could not control our drinking/using just because we were
maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental
defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent
with some of us. But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our
belief, any picture of the alcoholic/addict which leaves out this physical factor is
incomplete.
The doctor’s theory that we have an allergy to alcohol/mind-altering substances
interests us. As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean
little. But as ex-problem drinkers/users, we can say that his explanation makes
good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account.”
(page xxvi)

Dr. Silkworth further describes the alcoholics/addicts physical reaction after it is

ingested into the body. We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the
action/effect of alcohol/mind-altering substances on these chronic
alcoholics/addicts is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving
is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker/user.
These allergic types can never safely use alcohol/mind-altering substances in any
form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once
having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems
pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
Notice that Dr. Silkworth referred to our physical reaction to alcohol/mind-altering
substances as an “allergy” and after one drink/mind-altering substance the
“phenomena of craving” develops. At the time the Big Book was written very little
was known about why the alcoholic/addict reacts to alcohol/mind-altering
substances differently than other people. Since then, science and the medical
community have discovered some things.

(We want to make it clear that this information is not from Alcoholics Anonymous;
it is derived from other sources):

We’ve learned that the body of the alcoholic/addict is physically different. The
liver and pancreas of the alcoholic processes alcohol at one-third to one-tenth
the rate of a non-alcoholics pancreas and liver. As alcohol enters the body, it
breaks down into various components, one of which is acetate. We now know
that acetate triggers the phenomenon of craving. In a normal drinker, the acetate
moves through the system quickly and exits. But that doesn’t happen in the
alcoholic. In us, the acetate isn’t processed out, so it triggers a craving for a
second drink. We have a second drink, putting in us twice as much acetate, and
that makes us want a drink twice as much as the normal drinker. So we have
another resulting in three times the craving of a normal drinker, so then we have
another... So you can see from that point how we have no control over how
much we drink. The craving cycle has begun. Once the acetate accumulates in
our bodies, (and that begins to happen with the FIRST drink), we will crave
another - IF you’re an alcoholic. That is why we can’t have just ONE drink to
relax, and unfortunately our metabolism does not recover, so this can NEVER
change, - IF you’re alcoholic.

Dr. Silkworth then describes the common cycle of an alcoholic/addict and begins
to describe the second factor of the alcoholic/addict illness – we know the first
factor is the abnormal reaction of the body: the physical craving. The second
factor is the mental obsession. He’s going to describe the mental state of the
alcoholic/addict before we pick up the first one:
“Men and women drink/use essentially because they like the effect produced by it.
The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a
time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic/addict life seems
the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can
again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by
drinking/using – drinking/using which they see others taking with impunity. After
they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of
craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging
remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink/use again. This is repeated over and
over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is
very little hope of his recovery.”

If our minds didn’t lie to us and tell us that it’s OK to drink/use, we would never
trigger the physical allergy which produces the craving for more and more. So, we
have an abnormal reaction of the body, which means that once we begin to
drink/use we can’t stop, and an obsession of the mind which dooms us to
drink/use again. It’s important to note that the body of an alcoholic/addict can
never recover, but the mind can. If alcoholism/addiction was just a physical
disease then we could just stop and that would be the solution. But the mental
factor is why just quitting is not enough… That’s why Dr. Silkworth says we need
an entire psychic change.
(Transformational change is life-altering and permanent. It is about moving away
from that place of living restless, irritable, and discontent to being happy, joyous,
and free. It is about moving from selfishness to selflessness; from neediness to
being in service to others; from demanding love to being loving and kind.)

Dr. Silkworth says that all we have to do is follow a few simple directions and we
won’t have the desire for alcohol/mind-altering substances. We can never be
cured. But the problem won’t exist for us as long as we remain in a fit spiritual
condition. Those few simple directions Dr. Silkworth talks about are the actions
we’re going to take in the twelve steps to bring about that entire physic change.

To become “Clean & Sober”, we've got to understand Step 1 of the 12 Steps of
recovery. Alcohol and other drugs are chemicals that alter our moods. For that
reason, alcoholism and chemical dependency are used to mean the same thing.
The same is true of alcoholic and chemical dependent.

Life is bigger than any of us. Powerlessness and Unmanageability, mentioned in

Step 1, are big words that point to a simple fact. When we use drugs or alcohol,
life spirals out of control.
– We can't stop using, even when we want to.
– When we start using, we lose control over how much we use and how we
act.

All this can be hard to accept at first. Just keep one thing in mind as we read what
follows:
The purpose of Step 1 is not to label us or put us down. The real purpose is to
help us learn new ways of thinking, feeling and acting. When we learn these
things, we become much more comfortable with ourselves and others. Life starts
to work again, better than ever before.
Taking Step 1 is also easier when we remember something else:
We cannot control how any situation turns out. We are responsible only for the
effort we put forth.

In saying that, we invite you to join us in the marvellous experience of becoming

clean and sober. The 12 Steps have led millions to this experience. It all starts
with telling the truth about where we are right now, today. Just begin with two
words, Powerlessness and Unmanageability.

[Read: Chapter 1, “Bill’s Story”]

Bill W. is the New York stock analyst who was one of our co-founders. His story is
a perfect example of an alcoholic/addict. Some people have difficulty identifying
with Bill, but we ask that you look for similarities rather than differences. See
where you can identify with Bill as he continues to use alcohol/mind-altering
substance long after it has become a problem. It is suggested to try to identify with
the way Bill felt, the way Bill thought, and the way Bill drank.
The first 8 pages of “Bill’s Story” give an example of the problem of the
alcoholic/addict. And the last 8 pages of “Bill’s Story” describe the spiritual
solution. The only thing we're going to read from Bill’s story is the first full
paragraph on page 8 because it describes so well what we alcoholics/addicts call
our bottom. Bill writes on page 8:

“No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of
self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I
had been overwhelmed. Alcohol/mind-altering substances was my master.”

If you have felt like that in the past, then you identify with Bill. If Bill says he’s a
real alcoholic/addict then you might be too.

Let's us identify our powerlessness:

1. Write down something that you did when using alcohol or other drugs,
something that you would not do when you when sober.
2. Write down a way that you violated your own value system when using
alcohol or other drugs.
3. Write down a personality change that occurred in you when you were using
alcohol or other drugs.
4. Write down a time you tried to quit and resumed using.
5. Write down a time when you physically hurt someone as a result of using.
6. Write down how your body has been hurt by your alcohol or drug use.
7. Write down an example of a personality trait that blocks you from admitting
powerlessness or asking for help.
8. Write down something that convinces you that you cannot use alcohol or
drugs safely.
9. Have you accepted that you are an alcoholic/addict?

[Read: Chapter 2, “There Is A Solution”]

Let's look at our unmanageability:
1. Write down an incident that took place while you were drinking or using,
something that led you to feel shame.
2. Write down an example/s of your behaviour when you've tried to quit without
a programme.
3. Write down an example of how your alcohol or drug use has interfered with
your personal goals.
4. Write down a feeling you've tried to alter by using alcohol/drugs.
5. Write down a healthier way you've learned to deal with your feelings.
6. Write down what crisis brought you to recovery.
7. Write down what crisis would have eventually happened if you had kept
using alcohol/drugs.
8. Write down a change in your life you would like to make in recovery.
9. Write down a personal goal you would like to keep in recovery.

We’ll move onto Chapter 3: “More About Alcoholism”.

[Read: Chapter 3, “More About Alcoholism”]

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics/addicts. No

person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore,
it is not surprising that our drinking/using careers have been characterized by
countless vain attempts to prove we could drink/use like other people. The idea
that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking/using is the great
obsession of every abnormal drinker/user. The persistence of this illusion is
astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were
alcoholics/addicts. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like
other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
(page 30, ¶ 1, & 2)

So, in these paragraphs, the book confirms that we are different from the
“average” / non-alcoholic / heavy drinker / user in both the bodily and mental
sense. They restate that we continue to believe in the lie that we can somehow
control and enjoy our drinking/using. Usually when we are trying to control our
drinking/using we don’t enjoy it, and when we were enjoying our drinking/using we
weren’t controlling it. And the books tells us again that if we continue to believe in
the lie that our minds tell us, and we continue to kill our bodies by drinking
alcohol/using, then we’re either going to go insane or die.

Now, let’s briefly cover one of the examples that this chapter gives us describing
the mental obsession we alcoholics/addicts have when it comes to alcohol/mind-
altering substances.

“What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic/addict who repeats time after time
the desperate experiment of the first drink/mind-altering substance? Friends who
have reasoned with him after a spree which has brought him to the point of
divorce or bankruptcy are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon. Why
does he? Of what is he thinking? (First full paragraph on page 35)
Our example is a friend we shall call Jim. Jim is a nice guy. He’s well liked by
friends and family. He inherited a car dealership and was pretty successful for a
time. Jim started drinking at age 35 and only a few years later was committed to
an asylum. He was in touch with AA and the old-timers worked with him. They
shared their stories and told Jim about the first two steps. He made a beginning,
but failed to go forward with the spiritual Program of Action described in this book.
He got drunk seven times in rapid succession. Each time, the old-timers worked
with him. He described to them what happened. Basically, because he failed to go
ahead with the rest of the Program, he succumbed to the lie that he could drink
whiskey safely and his trivial excuse was that if he poured the booze into milk it
wouldn’t hurt him on a full stomach. Because Jim didn’t continue with the rest of
the Program and take the rest of the steps, he DID NOT have the entire psychic
change that Dr. Silkworth talks about and fell victim to the lie that he could drink
safely.

On page 37, our book describes that kind of thinking as pure insanity. The book
says:

“Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity.
How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called
anything else?”

We can’t see the truth from the false when it comes to alcohol/mind-altering
substances. The insanity of alcoholism/addiction is not all those crazy things we
do while drinking/using: like crashing cars, getting arrested and hurting other
people, mentally or physically. It’s crazy to have done those things, but the real
insanity is thinking that we can safely drink alcohol/use in the first place... even
after all the pain, suffering, and humiliation we’ve gone through. Like Dr. Silkworth
said, the main problem of the alcoholic/addict centres in the mind rather
than the body.

Let’s wrap up our discussion of the physical and mental aspects of alcoholism by
referring to Chapter 4, “We Agnostics”:
The Big Book gives us a statement that we can turn into a question for us to ask
ourselves so we can determine if we have the mind and the body of an
alcoholic/addict.

The book reads:

“If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when
drinking/using, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably
alcoholic/addict. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which
only a spiritual experience will conquer.”
(page 44, ¶ 1, lines 4 – 9)

We will be asking a couple questions to each person who wants to take the first
step with us. This first one is to help us determine if we have the mental and
physical symptoms of alcoholism/addiction.
 [Ask both questions, one at a time]

If, when you honestly wanted to, could you quit drinking/using entirely (by
yourself)? Y/N
Or
When drinking/using, did you have little (or no) control over the amount you took?
Y/N

If you aren’t sure about your answers to these two questions please ask someone
here, sponsor/counsellor who has been through the program to help you find your
truth about your drinking/using.

If you answered “NO” to these questions, you are probably alcoholic/addict and
you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

Now, let’s take a look at a third part of Step 1 – the spiritual malady: “… - that our
lives had become unmanageable”:

On page 64, the Big Book says, “When the spiritual malady is overcome, we
straighten out mentally and physically.”

We can look on page 52, for symptoms of the spiritual malady, or as this
paragraph describes them: “the bedevilments”, which means to be confused. And
that’s what we alcoholics/addicts have suffered from all our lives – a “confused
and baffled spirit”… Let’s turn these statements into questions that we can answer
for ourselves. These questions can be answered in the past tense (when we were
drinking/using), or in the present tense (now, not drinking/using, suffering from
unmanageability due to untreated alcoholism/addiction). As we read them, we
answer these questions for ourselves to see if we had been, or presently may be
experiencing these symptoms:

1) We were having trouble with personal relationships? Y/N

2) We couldn’t control our emotional natures? Y/N
3) We were a prey to misery and depression? Y/N
4) We couldn’t make a living? Y/N
5) We had a feeling of uselessness? Y/N
6) We were full of fear? Y/N
7) We were unhappy? Y/N
8) We couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people? Y/N

If several of these apply to you - your life could be unmanageable, and chances
are you are suffering from a malady which only a spiritual experience (or spiritual
awakening) will conquer.

Back on page 44 the book told us that we have only two alternatives:

1) To be doomed an alcoholic/addict death…

or
2) To live on a spiritual basis.
So, if your choice is to live on a spiritual basis, rest assured that not only is a
spiritual awakening possible, it is a guarantee, provided we keep an open mind
and take the Steps as described in this book.

We're going to begin this process of admittance with Step 1, but before we do
that, let's review exactly what we alcoholics/addicts suffer from:
If I can’t drink/use safely because of the allergy of the body (the first factor of Step
1) and I can’t stop drinking/using because of the obsession of the mind (the
second factor), then I'm powerless over alcohol/mind-altering substances – first
half of Step 1.

If I suffer from symptoms of a life run on self will described on page 52 then my life
is unmanageable (third factor).

On page 30, the Big Book tells us exactly what we have to do to make the
admission that we’re real alcoholics/addicts. Remember we read, “We learned that
we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics/addicts.
This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or
presently may be, has to be smashed.”

Reservations and Surrender

Reservations:
Reservations are places in our programme that we have reserved for relapse.
They may be built around the idea that we can retain a small measure of control,
something like, “Okay, I accept that I can't control my drinking/using, but I can still
sell alcohol/drugs, can't I?”
Or we may think we can remain friends with the people we drank/used drugs with
or bought from. We may think that certain parts of the programme don't apply to
us. We may think there's something we just can't face sober/clean – a serious
illness, for instance, or the death of a loved one – and plan to use if it ever
happens. We may think that after we've accomplished some goal, made a certain
amount of money, or been sober/clean for a certain number of years, then we'll be
able to control our using.
Reservations are usually tucked away in the back of our minds; we are not fully
conscious of them – right here, right now.

Let's ask ourselves a few questions:

1. Have I accepted the full measure of my alcoholism/addiction?

2. Do I think that I can still associate with the people connected to my
alcoholism/addiction?
3. Can I still go to the places that I drank/used?
4. Do I think it's wise to keep alcohol/drugs or paraphernalia around, just to
“remind myself” or test my recovery?
5. Is there something I think I can't get through clean and sober, some event
that might happen that will be so painful that I'll have to drink/use to survive
the hurt?
6. Do I think that with some amount of clean time, or with different life
circumstances, I'd be able to control my drinking/using?
Surrender:
there's a huge difference between resignation and surrender. Resignation is what
we feel when we've realized we're alcoholics/addicts but haven't yet accepted
recovery as the solution to our problem. Many of us found ourselves at this point
long before coming here. We may even have thought that it was our destiny to be
addicts, to live and die in our addiction. Surrender, on the other hand, is what
happens after we've accepted the 1st Step as something that is true for us and
have accepted that recovery is the solution. We don't want our lives to be the way
they have been. We don't want to keep feeling the way we have been feeling.

A few questions:

1. What does surrender mean to me?

2. Am I afraid of the concept of surrender?
3. Do I accept that I will never regain control, even after a long time of
abstinence?
4. Can I begin my recovery without a complete surrender?
5. What would my life be like if I surrendered completely?
6. What is my understanding of Step 1?

In order to smash the delusion that we’re not alcoholics/addicts, I’m going to ask
each of you to answer a simple question, “Are you ready to concede to your
innermost self, that you are powerless over alcohol/mind-altering substances?” In
other words, “Are you alcoholic/addict?” All that is required is a yes or no answer.

If you are not convinced, or if you are unsure if you are an alcoholic/addict or that
your life is unmanageable, please let us know. Your sponsor/counsellor/spiritual
advisor or one of the members of this Centre is willing to spend time with you this
week to discuss your reservations.

For those who are ready, let’s take Step 1 together. Will everyone that wants to
take the Steps with us over the next few weeks please stand for a moment.

This is the final Step 1 question:

[Have each person answer the question]

Do you concede to your innermost self you are an alcoholic/addict?

Please answer, one at a time, yes or no and then be seated.

Thank you.

Those of you who have answered yes to this question have taken Step One.

Congratulations!

We'll CLOSE with the Serenity Prayer.