Sandaas

SCENE 1
Tolu/Munna: arey kaa rey kal subha aaye nahi ?pressure nahi bna ka? Hahaha(laughs)

Bholu: arey na rey kal uu santoshiya ki bahu ko dekhne mein thoda biyast hogye samay aur pressure
dono ka pata hi naahi chala (laughs)

SCENE 2
Saas: arii ohh saandni ii bhari dhophari mein lota leke kahan ko chali ?

Bahu: uu saasu maa shayad..…(hesitates) dast lage hai… uuu… ruk na rahe

Saas: haayye laaj sharam toh saari bech khaai hai ab din dihare yeh kaam hoga… sunnte ho kalu ke
papa

Sasur: arey kahe (burps )kahe chilaa rhi ho?

Saas: yeh dekho kalu ki bahu ke kaarnaame

Sasur: arey kaa hua ?

Saas: issi se puchlo

Sasur: arey bitiya tum hi bata do

Saas: hmm (scaring him )

Sasur: ahem umm bahu yeh kya badtameezi hai jao rasoi mein

Saas feels proud then runs to stop bahu

Bahu: Satyanaash ho, kahan rasoi mein bhej diaa (runs)

SCENE 3
Muthu: ik chatur naaar bade hosiyaar (farts )ik chaturnaar bade hoshiyaar apne ii jaal mein (farts)
apne hi jaal mein (farts) aiooo pehle hum yahi krleta ji

Muthu stops someone

Muthu: iyooo raja yeh sab kahan ko bhaagta ji?

Raju/Peon: arey uu paid ke neeche mantra ji aaye hai kachu bada ho rha hai
Muthu: aioo hum bhi aata ji…. (Farts) .tum jao hum aata ji

Raju: arey aur toh aur akhbaar wale bhi aaye hai

Muthu: yanna aissa kya? Hum bhi aata(farts)…ile ile pehle hum halka hota

Raju: sunn ne mein aaya hai ki mantra ji apne sath bade bakese bhi laye hai

Muthu: ayo swami hum bhi aata ji (farts) aye tumko thoda rukna maangta ji

SCENE 4
Mantriji: namashkaar mere badboodaar wasio(villagers suprised)

Everyone looks at southy

Muthu: ayoo humne kuch nhi kia ji

Peon: are sir badboodaar nhi , nadiapaar

Mantri ji: namashkaaar mere nadiapaar wasio hum aaj aapke liye bahut hi badia cheez laye
hai jaise ki aap sabhi ne woh superstar latkay kumar (villagers suprised)

Peon: sir latkay kumar nhi,bakshay kumar

Mantri ji: haan bakshay kumar ki filam taailait dekhi hi hogi bas usi se bhaybheet (villagers
surprised)

Peon: arey sir bhaybheet nhi prayreet

Mantriji: haan haan usi se prayreet hum bhi aapke liye yeh ghosla laye hai

Peon: sir ghosla nhi yojna

Mantriji: Haan yeh yojna laye hai aap sabhi ko 20-20 hazaaar rupaiya diya jayega aur kuch
tailet banana ke liye kuch samaan bhi

(Villagers whispering 20 hajaar? Etc)

(Mantri ji getting photos clicked (peon trying to get in) mantri pushes him)

SCENE 6
Bahu: toh pita ji ,aapne kya socha hai tailet bana na chahiye?

Sasur: haan bitiya mantri ji ne paisa aur kachu samaan toh de hi diya hai toh bnwa hi lete hai tailet

Ab samasya yeh hai ki ghar mein tailet banwaye kis taraf

Saas: haanji ka batiya rahe ho?

Sasur: areyy… uu mantriji ne paisa toh soch rhe the ki tailet banwa hi lete hai

Saas: ka? Ka bole? Pagla gye ho ka?Dimaag tanik theekane pe hai ki nahi? Jis ghar mein hum
bhagwaan ki pooja karat hain, Jis ghar main khaana khaat hai ussi pavitar ghar mein aap tailet ban
waoge? Lagta hai budhau ki sochne ki takat khatam ho gyi isko tanik araam do!!

Sasur: haan matlab wahi wahi toh main bahu ko samjha rha tha ki ab mantra ji ne paisa dia hai toh
iska yeh matlab thodi hai ki hum tailet bnwa lenge

SCENE 7
Munna: muthu bhaiya kaisan ba?

Muthu: hum theek hain

Munna: toh tailet wailet banwa rhe hain?

Muthu: aio swami humko pait ka dikat hota ji

Munna: nan a hum chicken nhi khaata ji

Muthu: auo chicken nhi pait ka dikat , din mein naalgo-naalgo

Munna: aye kaa bole? Gaali diye?

Muthu: ayo anna anna humara matlab chaar chaar baar jaata bahut dikat hota ji ab minister anna
itna paisa kharch kia toh sochta hai tailet bana hi leta ji

SCENE 8
Aurat: lalaji aisse sabun dedo jo ghise kam aur lagaye toh chehre pe laali aajaye

Lalaji: re bholu re kith marr gya jara madam ko iith ka tukda dede (gives soap) le beti tera main toh
majaak kr rha tha

Munna: arey lalaji dukkan pe baithe ho ka

Lalaji: na rey main mast khatiya pe tang pasar ke soya hun

Munna: ka ?kaun chal basa?

Lala: arey mare humare dushman tu bta ka baat hai?

Munna: bataiye aap 20 hajar ka ka kiye? tailet wailet banwa rhe hai ka?

Lalaji : haan maine toh pagal kutte ne kata se

Munna: hain? Kahan kata?

Lala: bhak bewakoof

Munna: toh fir 20 hazar ka ka kia?

Lala: ek yeh silk ka kurta khareeda pure 3 saal baad

Munna: ka? 3 kaan ke baal?

Lala: arey 3 saal ke baad

Munna: aur baaki ka?

Lala: aur baaki? baaaki tijori ke bheetar

Munna: haha sahi hai lalaji

SCENE 9
Munna/Tolu: arey bhaiya tumne paisa ka kya kia?

Bholu: arey bhaiya humne kuch juye mein hara toh kahu daaru le liya par sasur itna paisa sala
khatam hi nhi hota

Munna/Tolu: arey yeh baat toh bilkul sahi bole bhaiya aapne toh fir bhi desi pi hogi hum toh sasur
videshi mangwaye the fir paisan bach ab sasur samajh nhi aata kaise kharch kre

Munna/Tolu: arey tumhe ek baat btaye

Bholu & Lala ji: btao btao

Munna/Tolu: arey jab se jawani chadi hai ektho tamana reh gyi hai

Bholu: arey ka bhaiya saadi waadi ki ichha hai kyas?

Munna/Tolu : arey bhak bhudbak humari icha toh ek baar mujra dekhne ki hai

Bhola: arey ka baat krte ho bhaiya? Mujre ka toh nahi pata lekin shaam ko maza karta thoda little
little

Munna/Tolu: arey toh intezaar kaisa aaj sham chalte hai mazza lootne

(DRUNK SCENE)

Munna/Tolu : hayeee bajee!! Kasam se maza aagya

Lalaji: re maja waja toh sab theek se par ab joy o inspector aariya hai iska ke kroge?

Munna/Tolu: ka lalaji? Kauno inspector?Ii apna Raja?Iss se daroge ka aap?

Bholu: ka re raja lalaji ko tang kr rhe ho ka?

Raja/Peon: arey par bhaiya ji humne toh lalaji ko aaj tak kachu kaha hi nhi

Lalaji: rey naa rey yo ke krlega mara, kr toh who bhi na lega

Muthu: ayo par lala anna yeh toh btao kaun inspector

Lalaji: rey khabar na suni ke? Rey tailet inspector ar rha hai shehar

Bholu: tailet inspector? Haahahah ab halka hona bhi koi gunna hai ka? Hahahahaha

Munna/Tolu: ab kya piraivate mein halke bhi naahi ho sakte

Lalaji: rey tum dono ka dimaag toh dhikane pe hai? Reey tailet inspector who hai jo sarkar ki taraf se
aayega

Munna: ayo sarkar ki taraf se who halka hoga ji?

Lalaji: rey chup!! jo tum sab ne 20 20 hazar goli kre baithe hai na usi ki teh kikaat krne aayega yeh
tailet inspector

Muthu: ayoooo!! Jumps and sits down(farts)

Bholu: heyy raammmmmmmm!! FALLS BACK

Munna/Tolu: bhaiya jii arey lalaji yeh ka khabar sunaadiii rey kahin majak toh naahi kr rhe laluaji?
Hain?hai?

Lalaji: rey tum samnjhna hi bekar hai ib jab 2 dinn mein inspector aayega jab hi dekh lio

SCENE 10
Muthu: (runs across the stage ayooooo woh aagyeee )

Ayyoo inspector agyaa inspector agayaa(puls agayi pulss oye)

Lalaji, sasur,and rest of the villagers stand with garlands(mala)a man suitcase(pretend inspector)

***POLS AGYI PULSS***

Sasur: arey aaiye aaiye sahib aayie

Lalaji : rey sahib ke liye chai samosa lga

Bholu: rey lalaji pehle sahib ko ghar toh le chalo

Chaliye chaliye sahib

Sasur: Dekhiye sahib hum gaon ke log shuru se hi khule mein krte aa rhe hai ab mantra ji kehte hai
kamre mein kro ab btaiye ka kre

Inspector: haan toh kriye khule mein hume kya

Munna/Tolu: toh aap inspection ki ka kriyega?

Inspector: inspection?

Muthu : ayyoo anna swami aap tailet ka inspection krne aaya na?

Inspector: tailet?

Muthu: haanji tailet ji hindi mein bole toh ayo sandaas ji

Bholu: haan uu mantri ji diye the na 20 hazar rupay

Inspector: umm who toh

Munna/Tolu: aap tailet inspector hi hai na?

Inspector: haan haan main wahi toilet inspector hi hun par abhi main inspection nhi krunga pehle
thoda araam pani krlun

Bholu: inspector sahib aap humaar ghar pe rukiye maja hi maja hai

Lala: dekho inspector aap humare yahan rukiyega

Sasur: na ji na lalaji inspectoir sahib toh humare yahan hi rukegi haan humari bahuriya inka ache se
khayal rakhegi

Inspector: kya bahuriya? Kya?

Sasur : ji hamari bahuriya

Inspector: toh bhaiya taye rha hum …..(points to sasur)

Sasur: ji madhu Shankar kale

Inspector : hum madhu Shankar kale ke yahan hi rukenge

SCENE 11
Inspector: Toh madhu ji..madhu bol sakta hun na?

Sasur: qrey sahib aap toh hum kuch bhi bol lijiye aap chahe toh madhuri bol li jiye

Inspector: nhi madhu hi theek hai par yeh toh btaiye madhu ji, aapki bahu ka kya nam hai?

Sasur: uu ka naam hai Santushiya

Inspector : toh zara milwa toh dijiye

Sasur: arey sahib aabhi lijiye ari S..san…Santushiyaa

Saas: arey ii budhau! kaa hai jab dekho chakar chakr

Inspector: arey yeh ka hai?

Sasur: ii hai Santushiyaa
(noise in the kitchen)

Saas: ari satyanaash kalu ki bahu zara chai lekar aa

Sasur: sahib aap zara chai pijiye hum tanik aate hai

(noise in the backdrop) hayee humare pichwad kalu ki amma

Saas: arey budhau! hum jara aate hai inispactor sahib

Bahu enters with tea

Inspector: toh aap hai madhu ji ki bahurani! hum hai Ramesh

Shehar se aaye hai jara apna chehra toh dikhaiye (bahu acts coy)

Inspector: arey toh naam hi bta dijiye

Bahu: ji imarti

Inspector: areyy waah aapka toh naam hi itna swadisht hai

(Bahu runs inside)

Sasur : ihihihi sahib jara kuch baat krni thi

Inspector: arey aaye aaiye madhu ji

Sasur : dekhiye hum who bub..bububub

Saas: pokes

Sasur: ab hum gaon ke log hum kahan bandh deewaro ke beech halke ho payenge toh jara soch rhe
the kachu le deke agar ihihihi matlab aap kachu galat na samjiyega

Inspector: samjhenge!.....agar aap 2-3 hazar mein nipta denge toh bilkul samjhenge

Sasur: ihihihihi arey sahib aap jaise bade afsar ko itne mein thodi ihihihih

Inspector : haan toh dijiye 10 hajar…… laiye yeh bhi de hi dijiye arey shagun ka aur who bahu ke
haatho thodi chai bhijwa dijiyega

Muthu: ayoo malik hum andar aa sakta hai ?

Inspector: ji aap kaun?

Muthu: hum hai ……..srinivasan muthuswami chanrashekaran

Inspector: samajh mein aaye aissa kuch btao

Muthu: ayo malik aap humko muthu bol sakta ji

Inspector: haan muthu sunao

Muthu: malik aap inspection chalu kro uss se pehle hum apna inspection karana chahta ji

Inspector: ayyeee kya..kya…kya matlab apna inspection?

Muthu : arey malik ii 5 hajar money aapke liye

Inspector: chalo toh umm (points to pocket) chalo theek hai rakh do

Muthu: toh malik hum pass hua na?

Inspector: arey bilkul bilkul aap pass hogye par muthu zara hume apne gaon toh ghuma do

Muthu: arey malik kyu nhi(farts)

Inspector: umm rey rey tum rehne do ek kaam karo bholu aur tolu ko bhejo

Bholu &tolu: arey bauji kaise hai btaiye ka seva kar sakte hum aapki

Inspector: haan bhai bholu aur tolu zara inspection pe jana hai chalo tum se hi shuru krte hai

Bholu&tolu: stammers

Inspector: waise main tum dono ko bta dun meri mantari ji se non parliamentary language mein bhi
hasi Mazak chalta rehta hai mujhe jhoote aur beimaan logo se sakht nafrat hai

tolu: hehehehe sahib hum gaon ke seedhe saadhe log hai subha halke hote hai dopahar ko sote hai
aur raat ko zara… haph pani haph soda ihihihihhhii

Inspector: kya half pani half soda kya?

Bholu: arey sahib uhh thoda thoda ahemm littal littalll

Inspector: acha? Toh fir bas thodi si littal littal ya sath mein kuch aur bhi?

Tolu: arey sahib aap ke liye uhh kapeesh bhaiya ke chaney li aayennge hi

Bholu: arey bhap sahib ke liye nuut kirakiir layenge

Inspector: arey mera matlab hai sirf peete khaate hoy a kuch naach gaana bhi hota hai?

Tolu and Bholu smirks:

Sahib aapke liye ek jabardast intezaam hai

Inspector: acha toh fir theek hai aaj sham hi chalo

Tolu: chaliye toh sham ko 7 baje milte hai sahib

Bholu: aey umm aur sahib zara uu humaar tailet ka thoda kaam hua nhi toh u zara dekh lijiyega

Inspector: arey haan haan who koi baat nhi

***Bholu tolu and inspector gets drunk***

***Intoxicated inspector reveals his truth ***

Bholu: inspector sahib ii hai desi daaru ka jaadu jo sakht se sakht aadmi bhi pigla deti hai

Inspector: arey hatt hum na hi inspector hai aur nahi sakht hum hain naankhatai aisi jaam dekh ke
badi se badi imaarat bhi pigal aayi

Lala : rey bhodu yeh ka shor laga rakha rey? Arey inispector sahib aap ?

Bholu : lala ji iii kauno inspector winspector nah hai ii hai naankhatai ladki dekh ke inki aankh bhar
aayi aur lga diye humka chuna baithe bithai

Lala: rey iski toh main banaun ab tangdi malai

Inspector runs slyly

SCENE 12
Villagers assemble

Sasur: dekho ji bhaiyajo hua bahut bura hua par ab jo hoga gya uu ka kaa kar sakhte hai

Bholu: arey aissie kaise? Hain? Jo yeh hua uu hua dekhiye kalu ke papa kalu humar dost hai isliye
hum aaj tak kachu kahe nahi par aap apne ghar pe saanp rakhe the toh galti toh aapki hai

Saas: ohohohooo tum bada bol rhe ho haain? Tum toh khud use apne ghar le jaarhe the saari galti iii
lala ki hai

Lala: rey bhenji zyada na bolo haan rey mane toh khabar uu munna de gya tha ab mujhe kya pta

Munna: hain? Ka munna ka munna? maine toh bas khabar di thi ii muthu hi shor macha utha who
aaya

Muthu : ayo humko kya (farts) aayega ?

Villagers: hain? Ka?

Tolu: aur nahi toh ka sara din bas (mimics fart) krte rehte ho

Muthu: ayoo humara matlab humko kya sapna aayega kaun inspector hai kaun naankhatai

Bholu: arey sapn nahi aaya toh puchna toh chahiye tha na fate dhol ki tarah bhaag uthe

Muthu: humko toh abhi bhi lagta yeh lala anna ka galti hota ji

Lala: rey oh muthu ib ki baar tunne maare pe naam lga dia ne toh thaari chutney bna ke idly ke sath
khaa jaunga galti saari munna ki hai

Munna: haan hum bhi idly khayega lekin sambhar ke sath

Lala: rey btaun tane

Sasur: arey bhai ab dekhiye baat aisan hai ki ab jo hogya so hogya aapas mein ladne se kauno fayda
na hoga

Bholu: lekin ab jo paisan gya uu ka kariyega?

Lala: haan rey kale kith se layega uu paisa

Sasur: areyyyyy le lele paisa lele

Muthu : ayoo uncil ji sahi bolta ji chalo chalo ghar ko chalta ji

Lala: haan ib aur kar bhi ke sakte hai

Bholu: par ib ke baar jara dhiyaann rakhiyega

Scene 13
Muthu (walks across stage with lota in hand, singing): ikk chatturnaar, bada hoshiyaar,(looks
around), apne ii jaal main,(starts sitting down) phasat jaaat

Mantriji(is looking around, notices Muthu squatting down, while Sasurji is trying to keep him
occupied): aree ae rukk( holds muthu's neck )....... kya kar rha h yha par (frustrated tone ).... Sharam
wagera h ki nhi .

Muthu(scared): ayyo minster swami, who hum ko pait ka dikkat hota na, sandaas in progress hai ji,
bass thoda din aur…

Mantriji(angery Seeing muthu) : HAI? Tum 20 hazaar pet me dabake betho? Banvaya nhi abhi tk
sandaas.

Muthu(trying to flee): ayyoo anna, hum jaldi jaldi banata par humko abhi jaana padega.

(Mantri’s message)

Ye dekha sbne ...... 21 sadasvi m bi ye sb hota h ...... aajk ke zamane m ghus khor apna pait badate
jaa rhe hai or desh girate jaa rhe hai ….. khule me karne se nahi sirf gandagi badti lekin ise anek
bimaariya bhi felti hai…. Desh kitni bhi taraki karle kitni bhi nayi technology le aaye lekin logo ki soch
abhi bhi vohi ghisi piti or purani hai… desh ke kisi na kisi kone me aaj bhi log in samasyao se joonj
rahe hai.Iski vjah se humari ghr ki aurto aaj bi surakshit nhi h ........ sarkar ne jnta ke liye anye project
bnaye h ....... sarkaar toh humesha jnta ke sth khdi laiken jntaa ko bi sarkaar ki madat krni chahiye h
isim desh ki taraki hai

issi ke sth m aap sbi se alvida leta hu

dhanywad

THE END