8 PRAISE FOR THE UPSIDE OF STRESS“The Upside of Stress delivers an
important truth: It is better to chase meaning than try to avoid
discomfort.Through the insights of this book, you’ll find your courage to
pursue what matters most and trust yourself tohandle any stress that
follows.”—NILOFER MERCHANT, founder and CEO of Rubicon Consulting,
Silicon Valley strategist, andauthor of The New How“Kelly McGonigal has
pulled back the curtain to reveal what allows exceptional people and
organizationslike my Navy SEAL brotherhood to thrive through adversity. True
excellence is only achieved under greatadversity and by embracing those
challenges with a positive mindset.”—SCOTT BRAUER, cofounder of Acumen
Performance Group and former Navy SEAL and U.S.Navy officer“The upside
of Kelly McGonigal is that she not only shows how what we thought we knew
about stress wasbackward, but also that getting it right will change your life
for the better. This book provides an accessibleuser’s guide to leveraging the
most cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to enhance
yourhealth and well-being.”—MATTHEW D. LIEBERMAN, PhD, chair of Social
Psychology at University of California, LosAngeles“For those individuals and
teams that discover stress is life’s secret ingredient, they will be rewarded
withexpanded self-confidence and rapidly growing organizations.”—ROBERT
C. DAUGHERTY, chairman of Knowledge Investment Partners“Kelly McGonigal
debunks decades of myths that have persisted around stress. The Upside of
Stress isresearch based, immensely practical, compelling, and insightful
from the first page. This book will be a gamechanger for countless people.”—
JIM LOEHR, EdD, cofounder of the Human Performance Institute and author of
The NewToughness Training for SportsPRAISE FOR THE WILLPOWER
INSTINCT“Tired of the endless debate about whether man possesses free
will or is predestined to lounge aboutgobbling Krispy Kreme donuts while
watching TV? If you want action, not theory, The Willpower Instinct isthe
solution for the chronically slothful.” —USA Today“A fun and readable survey
of the field, bringing willpower wisdom out of the labs.”—Time
magazine“Refreshingly easy to read and peppered with stories of people who
have successfully used its methods, TheWillpower Instinct is a new kind of
self-help book. Using science to help explain the ‘why,’ and strategies forthe
‘how,’ McGonigal has created a book that will appeal to those who want to
lose a few pounds as well asthose who are eager to understand why they just
cannot seem to get through their to-do list. A must-read foranyone who
wants to change how they live in both small and big ways.”—BookPage“The
Willpower Instinct combines the braininess of a Malcolm Gladwell
bestseller with the actualhelpfulness of an Idiots’ Guide to not being lazy. If
you are trying to lose weight, train for an athletic event,become more
successful at work, rid yourself of toxic habits . . . heck, if you’re human, you
need to read thisbook.”—LibraryThing“This book has tremendous value for
anyone interested in learning how to achieve their goals moreeffectively.
McGonigal clearly breaks down a large body of relevant scientific research
and its applications,and shows that awareness of the limits of willpower is
crucial to our ability to exercise true self-control.”—JEFFREY M. SCHWARTZ,
MD, author of the bestselling Brain Lock“What a liberating book! Kelly
McGonigal explains the scientific reality of willpower, exploding the
mythsthat most of us believe. Stronger willpower—based on inspiring facts,
not oppressive nonsense—is finallywithin everyone’s reach.”—GEOFF
COLVIN, author of Talent Is Overrated An imprint of Penguin Random
House375 Hudson StreetNew York, New York 10014Copyright © 2015 by
Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity,
encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant
culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book andfor
complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing
any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and
allowing Penguin to continue topublish books for every reader.Most Avery
books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchase for sales
promotions, premiums, fund-raising, and educational needs. Special books or
book excerpts also can becreated to fit specific needs. For details, write
SpecialMarkets@penguinrandomhouse.com.ISBN: 978-0-698-17080-
3PUBLISHER’S NOTENeither the publisher nor the author is engaged in
rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas,
procedures, and suggestions contained in this book are not intended asa
substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your
health require medical supervision. Neither the author nor the publisher shall
be liable or responsible for any loss ordamage allegedly arising from any
information or suggestion in this book.While the author has made every
effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other
contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the
authorassumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after
publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does
not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their
content.AUTHOR’S NOTEThroughout the book, when only first names are
used, the names are pseudonyms, and some details of the stories have been
changed to protect individuals’ privacy. Whenever possible, I
obtainedpermission to use these stories. If direct quotes are included in the
stories, they are from email or personal exchanges and have not been
altered. In all other cases, where full names are used, allquotes and details
are from interviews I conducted and/or from published sources cited in the
notes.Version_1 “If you have butterflies in your stomach, invite them into
your heart.”—COOPER EDENS contentsPraise for Titles by Kelly
McGonigalTitle PageCopyrightEpigraphIntroductionPART 1RETHINK
STRESSChapter 1How to Change Your Mind About StressChapter 2Beyond
Fight-or-FlightChapter 3A Meaningful Life Is a Stressful LifePART
2TRANSFORM STRESSWhat Does It Mean to Be Good at Stress?Chapter
4Engage: How Anxiety Helps You Rise to the ChallengeChapter 5Connect:
How Caring Creates ResilienceChapter 6Grow: How Adversity Makes You
StrongerChapter 7Final ReflectionsAcknowledgmentsNotesIndex
introductionIF YOU HAD to sum up how you feel about stress, which
statement would be moreaccurate?”A) Stress is harmful and should be
avoided, reduced, and managed.B) Stress is helpful and should be accepted,
utilized, and embraced.Five years ago, I would have chosen A without a
moment’s hesitation. I’m ahealth psychologist, and through all my training
in psychology and medicine, Igot one message loud and clear: Stress is
toxic.For years, as I taught classes and workshops, conducted research, and
wrotearticles and books, I took that message and ran with it. I told people
that stressmakes you sick; that it increases your risk of everything from the
common cold toheart disease, depression, and addiction; and that it kills
brain cells, damages yourDNA, and makes you age faster. In media outlets
ranging from the WashingtonPost to Martha Stewart Weddings, I gave the
kind of stress-reduction adviceyou’ve probably heard a thousand times.
Practice deep breathing, get more sleep,manage your time. And, of course,
do whatever you can to reduce the stress inyour life.I turned stress into the
enemy, and I wasn’t alone. I was just one of manypsychologists,
doctors, and scientists crusading against stress. Like them, Ibelieved that it
was a dangerous epidemic that had to be stopped.But I’ve changed my mind
about stress, and now I want to change yours.Let me start by telling you
about the shocking scientific finding that first mademe rethink stress. In
1998, thirty thousand adults in the United States were askedhow much stress
they had experienced in the past year. They were also asked, Doyou believe
stress is harmful to your health? Eight years later, the researchers scoured
public records to find out who amongthe thirty thousand participants had
died. Let me deliver the bad news first. Highlevels of stress increased the risk
of dying by 43 percent. But—and this is whatgot my attention—that
increased risk applied only to people who also believedthat stress was
harming their health. People who reported high levels of stress butwho did
not view their stress as harmful were not more likely to die. In fact, theyhad
the lowest risk of death of anyone in the study, even lower than those
whoreported experiencing very little stress.The researchers concluded that it
wasn’t stress alone that was killing people. Itwas the combination of stress
and the belief that stress is harmful. The researchersestimated that over the
eight years they conducted their study, 182,000 Americansmay have died
prematurely because they believed that stress was harming theirhealth.That
number stopped me in my tracks. We’re talking over twenty
thousanddeaths a year! According to statistics from the Centers for Disease
Control andPrevention, that would make “believing stress is bad for you”
the fifteenth-leading cause of death in the United States, killing more people
than skin cancer,HIV/AIDS, and homicide.As you can imagine, this finding
unnerved me. Here I was, spending all thistime and energy convincing
people that stress was bad for their health. I hadcompletely taken for
granted that this message—and my work—was helpingpeople. But what if
it wasn’t? Even if the techniques I was teaching for stressreduction—such as
physical exercise, meditation, and social connection—weretruly helpful, was
I undermining their benefit by delivering them alongside themessage that
stress is toxic? Was it possible that in the name of stressmanagement, I
had been doing more harm than good?I admit, I was tempted to pretend that
I never saw that study. After all, it wasjust one study—and a correlational
study at that! The researchers had looked at awide range of factors that
might explain the finding, including gender, race,ethnicity, age, education,
income, work status, marital status, smoking, physicalactivity, chronic
health condition, and health insurance. None of these thingsexplained why
stress beliefs interacted with stress levels to predict mortality.However, the
researchers hadn’t actually manipulated people’s beliefs aboutstress, so
they couldn’t be sure that it was people’s beliefs that were killing them.Was
it possible that people who believe that their stress is harmful have
adifferent kind of stress in their lives—one that is, somehow, more toxic?
Orperhaps they have personalities that make them particularly vulnerable
to theharmful effects of stress.And yet, I couldn’t get the study out of my
head. In the midst of my self-doubt,I also sensed an opportunity. I’d always
told my psychology students at Stanford University that the most exciting
kind of scientific finding is one that challengeshow you think about yourself
and the world. But then I found the tables wereturned. Was I ready to have
my own beliefs challenged?The finding I had stumbled across—that stress
is harmful only when youbelieve it is—offered me an opportunity to rethink
what I was teaching. Evenmore, it was an invitation to rethink my own
relationship to stress. Would I seizeit? Or would I file away the paper and
continue to crusade against stress?—TWO THINGS in my training as a health
psychologist made me open to the idea thathow you think about stress
matters—and to the possibility that telling people“Stress will kill you!”
could have unintended consequences.First, I was already aware that some
beliefs can influence longevity. Forexample, people with a positive attitude
about aging live longer than those whohold negative stereotypes about
getting older. One classic study by researchers atYale University followed
middle-aged adults for twenty years. Those who had apositive view of aging
in midlife lived an average of 7.6 years longer than thosewho had a negative
view. To put that number in perspective, consider this: Manythings we regard
as obvious and important protective factors, such as exercisingregularly, not
smoking, and maintaining healthy blood pressure and cholesterollevels, have
been shown, on average, to add less than four years to one’s life
span.Another example of a belief with long-reaching impact has to do with
trust.Those who believe that most people can be trusted tend to live
longer. In afifteen-year study by Duke University researchers, 60 percent of
adults over theage of fifty-five who viewed others as trustworthy were still
alive at the end ofthe study. In contrast, 60 percent of those with a more
cynical view on humannature had died.Findings like these had already
convinced me that when it comes to health andlongevity, some beliefs
matter. But what I didn’t know yet was whether how youthink about stress
was one of them.The second thing that made me willing to admit I might be
wrong about stresswas what I know about the history of health promotion.
If telling people thatstress is killing them is a bad strategy for public health,
it wouldn’t be the firsttime a popular health promotion strategy backfired.
Some of the most commonlyused strategies to encourage healthy behavior
have been found to do exactly theopposite of what health professionals
hope.For example, when I speak with physicians, I sometimes ask them to
predictthe effects of showing smokers graphic warnings on cigarette packs.
In general,they believe that the images will decrease smokers’ desire for
a cigarette andmotivate them to quit. But studies show that the warnings
often have the reverse 8 PRAISE FOR THE UPSIDE OF STRESS“The Upside of
Stress delivers an important truth: It is better to chase meaning than try to
avoid discomfort.Through the insights of this book, you’ll find your courage
to pursue what matters most and trust yourself tohandle any stress that
follows.”—NILOFER MERCHANT, founder and CEO of Rubicon Consulting,
Silicon Valley strategist, andauthor of The New How“Kelly McGonigal has
pulled back the curtain to reveal what allows exceptional people and
organizationslike my Navy SEAL brotherhood to thrive through adversity. True
excellence is only achieved under greatadversity and by embracing those
challenges with a positive mindset.”—SCOTT BRAUER, cofounder of Acumen
Performance Group and former Navy SEAL and U.S.Navy officer“The upside
of Kelly McGonigal is that she not only shows how what we thought we knew
about stress wasbackward, but also that getting it right will change your life
for the better. This book provides an accessibleuser’s guide to leveraging the
most cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to enhance
yourhealth and well-being.”—MATTHEW D. LIEBERMAN, PhD, chair of Social
Psychology at University of California, LosAngeles“For those individuals and
teams that discover stress is life’s secret ingredient, they will be rewarded
withexpanded self-confidence and rapidly growing organizations.”—ROBERT
C. DAUGHERTY, chairman of Knowledge Investment Partners“Kelly McGonigal
debunks decades of myths that have persisted around stress. The Upside of
Stress isresearch based, immensely practical, compelling, and insightful
from the first page. This book will be a gamechanger for countless people.”—
JIM LOEHR, EdD, cofounder of the Human Performance Institute and author of
The NewToughness Training for SportsPRAISE FOR THE WILLPOWER
INSTINCT“Tired of the endless debate about whether man possesses free
will or is predestined to lounge aboutgobbling Krispy Kreme donuts while
watching TV? If you want action, not theory, The Willpower Instinct isthe
solution for the chronically slothful.” —USA Today“A fun and readable survey
of the field, bringing willpower wisdom out of the labs.”—Time
magazine“Refreshingly easy to read and peppered with stories of people who
have successfully used its methods, TheWillpower Instinct is a new kind of
self-help book. Using science to help explain the ‘why,’ and strategies forthe
‘how,’ McGonigal has created a book that will appeal to those who want to
lose a few pounds as well asthose who are eager to understand why they just
cannot seem to get through their to-do list. A must-read foranyone who
wants to change how they live in both small and big ways.”—BookPage“The
Willpower Instinct combines the braininess of a Malcolm Gladwell
bestseller with the actualhelpfulness of an Idiots’ Guide to not being lazy. If
you are trying to lose weight, train for an athletic event,become more
successful at work, rid yourself of toxic habits . . . heck, if you’re human, you
need to read thisbook.”—LibraryThing“This book has tremendous value for
anyone interested in learning how to achieve their goals moreeffectively.
McGonigal clearly breaks down a large body of relevant scientific research
and its applications,and shows that awareness of the limits of willpower is
crucial to our ability to exercise true self-control.”—JEFFREY M. SCHWARTZ,
MD, author of the bestselling Brain Lock“What a liberating book! Kelly
McGonigal explains the scientific reality of willpower, exploding the
mythsthat most of us believe. Stronger willpower—based on inspiring facts,
not oppressive nonsense—is finallywithin everyone’s reach.”—GEOFF
COLVIN, author of Talent Is Overrated An imprint of Penguin Random
House375 Hudson StreetNew York, New York 10014Copyright © 2015 by
Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity,
encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant
culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book andfor
complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing
any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and
allowing Penguin to continue topublish books for every reader.Most Avery
books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchase for sales
promotions, premiums, fund-raising, and educational needs. Special books or
book excerpts also can becreated to fit specific needs. For details, write
SpecialMarkets@penguinrandomhouse.com.ISBN: have butterflies in your
stomach, invite them into your heart.”—COOPER EDENS contentsPraise for
Titles by Kelly McGonigalTitle PageCopyrightEpigraphIntroductionPART
1RETHINK STRESSChapter 1How to Change Your Mind About StressChapter
2Beyond Fight-or-FlightChapter 3A Meaningful Life Is a Stressful LifePART
2TRANSFORM STRESSWhat Does It Mean to Be Good at Stress?Chapter
4Engage: How Anxiety Helps You Rise to the ChallengeChapter 5Connect:
How Caring Creates ResilienceChapter 6Grow: How Adversity Makes You
StrongerChapter 7Final ReflectionsAcknowledgmentsNotesIndex
introductionIF YOU HAD to sum up how you feel about stress, which
statement would be moreaccurate?”A) Stress is harmful and should be
avoided, reduced, and managed.B) Stress is helpful and should be accepted,
utilized, and embraced.Five years ago, I would have chosen A without a
moment’s hesitation. I’m ahealth psychologist, and through all my training
in psychology and medicine, Igot one message loud and clear: Stress is
toxic.For years, as I taught classes and workshops, conducted research, and
wrotearticles and books, I took that message and ran with it. I told people
that stressmakes you sick; that it increases your risk of everything from the
common cold toheart disease, depression, and addiction; and that it kills
brain cells, damages yourDNA, and makes you age faster. In media outlets
ranging from the WashingtonPost to Martha Stewart Weddings, I gave the
kind of stress-reduction adviceyou’ve probably heard a thousand times.
Practice deep breathing, get more sleep,manage your time. And, of course,
do whatever you can to reduce the stress inyour life.I turned stress into the
enemy, and I wasn’t alone. I was just one of manypsychologists,
doctors, and scientists crusading against stress. Like them, Ibelieved that it
was a dangerous epidemic that had to be stopped.But I’ve changed my mind
about stress, and now I want to change yours.Let me start by telling you
about the shocking scientific finding that first mademe rethink stress. In
1998, thirty thousand adults in the United States were askedhow much stress
they had experienced in the past year. They were also asked, Doyou believe
stress is harmful to your health? Eight years later, the researchers scoured
public records to find out who amongthe thirty thousand participants had
died. Let me deliver the bad news first. Highlevels of stress increased the risk
of dying by 43 percent. But—and this is whatgot my attention—that
increased risk applied only to people who also believedthat stress was
harming their health. People who reported high levels of stress butwho did
not view their stress as harmful were not more likely to die. In fact, theyhad
the lowest risk of death of anyone in the study, even lower than those
whoreported experiencing very little stress.The researchers concluded that it
wasn’t stress alone that was killing people. Itwas the combination of stress
and the belief that stress is harmful. The researchersestimated that over the
eight years they conducted their study, 182,000 Americansmay have died
prematurely because they believed that stress was harming theirhealth.That
number stopped me in my tracks. We’re talking over twenty
thousanddeaths a year! According to statistics from the Centers for Disease
Control andPrevention, that would make “believing stress is bad for you”
the fifteenth-leading cause of death in the United States, killing more people
than skin cancer,HIV/AIDS, and homicide.As you can imagine, this finding
unnerved me. Here I was, spending all thistime and energy convincing
people that stress was bad for their health. I hadcompletely taken for
granted that this message—and my work—was helpingpeople. But what if
it wasn’t? Even if the techniques I was teaching for stressreduction—such as
physical exercise, meditation, and social connection—weretruly helpful, was
I undermining their benefit by delivering them alongside themessage that
stress is toxic? Was it possible that in the name of stressmanagement, I
had been doing more harm than good?I admit, I was tempted to pretend that
I never saw that study. After all, it wasjust one study—and a correlational
study at that! The researchers had looked at awide range of factors that
might explain the finding, including gender, race,ethnicity, age, education,
income, work status, marital status, smoking, physicalactivity, chronic
health condition, and health insurance. None of these thingsexplained why
stress beliefs interacted with stress levels to predict mortality.However, the
researchers hadn’t actually manipulated people’s beliefs aboutstress, so
they couldn’t be sure that it was people’s beliefs that were killing them.Was
it possible that people who believe that their stress is harmful have
adifferent kind of stress in their lives—one that is, somehow, more toxic?
Orperhaps they have personalities that make them particularly vulnerable
to theharmful effects of stress.And yet, I couldn’t get the study out of my
head. In the midst of my self-doubt,I also sensed an opportunity. I’d always
told my psychology students at Stanford University that the most exciting
kind of scientific finding is one that challengeshow you think about yourself
and the world. But then I found the tables wereturned. Was I ready to have
my own beliefs challenged?The finding I had stumbled across—that stress
is harmful only when youbelieve it is—offered me an opportunity to rethink
what I was teaching. Evenmore, it was an invitation to rethink my own
relationship to stress. Would I seizeit? Or would I file away the paper and
continue to crusade against stress?—TWO THINGS in my training as a health
psychologist made me open to the idea thathow you think about stress
matters—and to the possibility that telling people“Stress will kill you!”
could have unintended consequences.First, I was already aware that some
beliefs can influence longevity. Forexample, people with a positive attitude
about aging live longer than those whohold negative stereotypes about
getting older. One classic study by researchers atYale University followed
middle-aged adults for twenty years. Those who had apositive view of aging
in midlife lived an average of 7.6 years longer than thosewho had a negative
view. To put that number in perspective, consider this: Manythings we regard
as obvious and important protective factors, such as exercisingregularly, not
smoking, and maintaining healthy blood pressure and cholesterollevels, have
been shown, on average, to add less than four years to one’s life
span.Another example of a belief with long-reaching impact has to do with
trust.Those who believe that most people can be trusted tend to live
longer. In afifteen-year study by Duke University researchers, 60 percent of
adults over theage of fifty-five who viewed others as trustworthy were still
alive at the end ofthe study. In contrast, 60 percent of those with a more
cynical view on humannature had died.Findings like these had already
convinced me that when it comes to health andlongevity, some beliefs
matter. But what I didn’t know yet was whether how youthink about stress
was one of them.The second thing that made me willing to admit I might be
wrong about stresswas what I know about the history of health promotion.
If telling people thatstress is killing them is a bad strategy for public health,
it wouldn’t be the firsttime a popular health promotion strategy backfired.
Some of the most commonlyused strategies to encourage healthy behavior
have been found to do exactly theopposite of what health professionals
hope.For example, when I speak with physicians, I sometimes ask them to
predictthe effects of showing smokers graphic warnings on cigarette packs.
In general,they believe that the images will decrease smokers’ desire for
a cigarette andmotivate them to quit. But studies show that the warnings
often have the reverse
