Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/647449.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F
Fandom: Super Smash Brothers
Characters: Original Female Character, Barack Obama, Satan, Link (Legend of
Zelda), Marth, Samus Aran, Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Mario (Nintendo),
Luigi (Nintendo), Peach-hime | Peach Toadstool, Ike (Fire Emblem),
Solid Snake, Dedede, Kirby (Kirby), God, Cloud Strife, Master Chief
(Halo), Sonic the Hedgehog, Ness (Mother 2), Lucas (Mother 3), Koopa |
Bowser, Ganondorf, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Pikachu, Meta Knight,
Captain Falcon, Fox McCloud, Falco Lombardi, Wolf O'Donnell, Toon
Link, Pokemon Trainer, Wario, King George III, Adolf Hitler, Mao
Zedong, Original Male Character, Taylor Swift
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2013-01-20 Completed: 2013-01-29 Words: 20,035 Chapters:
35/35
 Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God
by PrincessAmerica

Summary

Sara was a normel girl until she went to nentendo world to save. My firts story ples revew.
Barek Obema and teh libruls on Fanfection.net delated thes so im putin it her.

Notes

Hi my name is Sara (not Palin unfortanetly) and im a 13 yearold girl who loves America and
God and the Constantution so i librul soshalist who likes barrack obama than LEAVE NAO
and go back too getting wefare for noting and trying to turn every1 into gay athists also I lik
video games like supper smash bras and otters even thou im a gril (my mom sad id turn a les
if I play video game but I put pics of jaykob from twilit and juston beber in my room so
idont).
 Misson Form God

CHAP 1: MISSON FORM GOD

I was in my seance class one dat when my librul teacher mr jonson was talkin about
evilusion.

"an tat is why humins came form monkees and their is no god" he said.

I razed my han.d

"yes Sara" he said.

"if humin came from monkees why r their still monks"

my teacher had no anser for that so he give me a ditention and an f on my test.

"hahaha!" he sad "you Christens wil be defeet on day! athests alreedy rule dis cuntry becuz of
obama car and son all Christens will goto deaf panells!"

just then the door toteh science room opened and God walked in. he was waring a rob and
had a bread like he allways does.

"mr jonson ur gong too HELL!"

"no cuz u arnt reel" mr jonson said.

"lol ur a moran" God said and he stroked mr jonson with lighting and mr jonson ded.

"yay!" said all the Christens in the class.

"boo!" said the Heatrans so God stroked all them to.

"ok now I nead too talk too Sara God said. "so everbuddy else leave."

"ok" my classmates left the room.

"Sara Osborne ive bean watching u for sum time," he sad, "this world isnt the only on I mad."

"for real" I ask.

"yea do u no about video games."

"yea I play them with my bro and Lauren" (my bro is my brother and Lauren is my BFF
forever and shes a PCC (Pretty Consertative Christen) like me to)

"well they are real because when u play the nother unevirse I made"

"cool God" I hi fived God.

"ok but theres treble. Satan found out about this and now hes in Nentendo World. Only u can
stop him b4 he dose evil stuff their."

"oh no."

"right this is the hardest thing u ever done even harder than ur math test last month. God
thing i'm God and I can give u cool powers and stuff."

So God gave me some power and I fell to sleep. When I woke up I was outside of the Smosh
Manshon!
 Sara Meats Charecters
Chapter Summary

Sara gose 2 the Manshan and meats the smash bruthers charecters.

Chapter Notes

First of all whats a troll? I men I think I fot sum in a game b4 but there not in my story
so why did you mention them in the revew. And whats a mary sue? And my mom and
dad sad that I need to spred the truth of God's word on the intranet and speak out aganst
the soshalists destroying America.
Also I didnt updaty yesterday becuz my family thought that their woud be the raptor.
Lauren said their woudnt and she was rite so I gess that provs who smart she is.

CHAP 2: SARA MEATS CHARECTERS

the smash mantian was a really big hose with like a gatrillion romos an was alota stories tall I
was inteminated by who big it was. Suddenly someon came. It was like a robot except a
person was in it.

"hai their pretty gurl" the robot person said.

"u think im pretty" I saod.

"yea ur the hotist gurl ive ever sean."

I thought it was Mister Chef from Hallo but it wasnt but I didnt no that so I cloded my eyes
an mad out with robot person but when I open them its not Mastre Cheef but SAMAS ERIN!

"hahahhaha I triked u in too thikning I was a dud but im a girl" samas said.

"why do u do these! I liek guys nit girls ima Christen!" I shooted.

"BECAUSE IMA LESBAN!" Samas said "anf im a antithesis so I want u 2 goto hell for bein
gay like me."

than Samas tred too rap me she took of my shirt (I had my bra under so I wasnt tipless) adn
my shirt which had pantees under it so I still wasnt nakid.
"no help!" I screemed. Lucklily Link and Math and Icke wear nearbye so they git hoarses and
ran up and came b4 iy was to late.

"stop been a gay librul Samas" Icke said.

"yea wereman and your a women so lissen to us" Link said.

"but im a lesban so im a femanast and im not gonna lissen to u" Samas said. She taked of my
shoes next. They were fancy hi-hells from goosepy zanaty that cast my mom $2000. butthan
Marth grabed Samas with his hercule arms and through her in teh moot off the manshan.

"r u ok" he asked. He kissed my hand romanticly.

"yea sorry I mad u do that"

"its ok Samas is a librul so she hadit cumin" March said. I looked into his eyes. He was like if
the looks of Jaykob and Juston Beeber were combined with the genus of Sean Hanety and
Ross Limbog. Expect he had blue hare. My hare was long and bland and really petty.

"u hat libruls to" I asked.

"yea me and Link and Icke r all borne-agen Christens" Marth said.

"cool can I meat everyone els" I sad.

"ok" so I climed on Marth's hoarse and rod too the manshan and went in side. In the manshan
I met other Christens like Peach and Zelda and Ton Link and Pit and Nas and Luckas and
Kerby and King Deedee and the Maryo bros (Mary and Lugia) and Sonec and Sold Snape,
who was Marth's father (I dont think he was Marths father ibn the gam but wouldnt it be cool
if he was) and Clod Strafe and the real Master Chef (those 2 werent in smash bros for some
resin but there in this). But their were also libruls like Bowser and Ganandorf and Waro and
Donky Khan and Diddy and Metal Nite and Picachoo and Pacman Tranner and the other
Pacmans and Wolf and Fux Mcledo and Falcon and Captan Falco (who was Samas boyfrend
b4 they both turd gay from a govermint vaksine). I new I had my work cut out for me.
 He Finalle Smash
Chapter Summary

Saras furst battal of her Smash carer WITH AN UNEXPACTED TWEST!!!

Chapter Notes

Stop atecking my storey! God will juge u when u dye and if u insult Christens tehn he
will send u too Hell! And thanks 2 the people who said nice things. I no u will goto
Haven. Also I no that Samas is a lesbain becuas when I firts playted I only saw her in
amour soi thought she was a hot guy but then I usde her finale smash and fond out she
was a gurl. I had to star at my pics off justan beber and jayncob 4 even longer then I
usuely do wen Lauren comes over 2 kep me strait.

CHAP 3: HE FINALLE SMASH

the next day I was in my first mach of my carer. It was Me and Zelda fitting Bowzer and
Falcor. We were the rad tem becuase were consercativs and they wear the blu tem becuas
they wer libruls. I was waerinmg a pretty red dress that everone expect the libruls
complamented me on. Boozer keeped breathing firs at us an Falco shat lazors form his gum.
Zelda turne dinto Shrek and throw needs at Boozer and hit hem wiht a chan. Son bowsar was
defet. Ten Falcor git a smash bell and sumoed a gina tank call a lendmaster and shat Zelda so
she flyed of and loosed. I thout I was domed butthen I herd Gods vois.

"Sara! Remamber the powerz I give u at scool." I used on of the powers that God gav me and
I insanely had my finale smash. I actived it and it cussed me to turn into an angle. I used my
holly powers to stroke down the lendmaster and defete Falco.

"this gams winer: rad tema" the narater said.

When I laft the fit Mart hwas waiting for me.

"OMG! that was amazon! I nerver seen someone us a finale smash withotu a smash ball b4!"
he said.

"Its because of the powers God gave me."

"Cool. Now me and my dad are fitting Samas and Wario."

Greet! Ill wach" I said.

So tghe next fit began and Marth and Snake are the red team and Samas and Warop were ther
blue team. Samas saw I was washing so she tred to deduce me with her lucius lips and huge
beasts but I was strate so it didnt work and Mark hit her with his sord while she was
distrected and his dad threw gonads at her. She got blowed up and lots a stack.

"Samas! Get ur had in the game! Present brock obana wode want us to kill all Christens,"
Waryo said.

"Rite" Samas said. She ataked Marth and Snake.

Son everybuddy only had on stack left. Wart rain tords Snack and het him with a motosicle.
He flowed off and explode.

"Father! NO!" Matt said. He ran at Waryo with is sore.

"Ate hem!" Samasa sad.

"I cant im a librul vogon now so ican only eat vegetas." Waryo said. So Waryo was lose. It
was a on-and-on fit betwine Samas and Marth.

"give it up Samas u no libruls cant won."

"never! BY THE POWAR OF LORD SANTA I SHALL BANESH U TOO SUBSPAS

WORLD!"

then a porthole openend an sucked. Math into subspas. The fite was over. The libruls had
won.

"wat did u do 2 my sun!" Snake said wen the match was over and marth didnt come back.

"Ill never tell!" Samas said. She blowed me a kiss (witch I dogged) and waked away.

I was worred when Marth didnt come back. He still wasnt back for the tee party relay so I
went with Clod Strafe insted. When I went to sleeped at nite I preyed for marth. Then I
lacked the widows and doors so Samas couldnt rap me wile I sleeped.

That nite I had horble nitmars that Math was farced too have gay sax with Satin and Bark
Obameh. It was the scurrest thin ever!
 THE SERCH 4 MATRH
Chapter Summary

Sara gose 2 Subspas 2 fine Maetrh

Chapter Notes

Mary CHRISmes Eev everbuddy! I hop the pepole who sad gopd thins abot my storey
get what they want and the pepool who said bed thins donut. Hopfully ican finish anutter
chaptar 2morow but its CRISmos (NOT HAPY HOLDAYS LIBRULS) and I hav stuf
with my famaly and then ill spend the knight at Laurens hose were well chang in2 are
new close 4 each otter (I cant wate. Im shur shell be riley pritty).

CHAP 4: THE SERCH 4 MATRH

the next day all off the Christens in the Manshon were locking for maerth. He was still not
back from were Samas put him. I preyed and preyed that we woud found him but he was
nowere near the manshon. I new I had to confont Samas about were Marth was but I new she
woud try 2 rap me agen if I came along so I bringed Clod and Sonec and Maryo with me.
Samas wasin bad with 4 womens and they were kissing and dong it to each otter.

"discussing!" Maryo vomated.

"stop it Samas!" Sonec said.

"girls sholdnt do that 2 otter girls!" Clod said.

"Sara! U must jonus and be gay!" Samas and the otter lesbamns said.

"No! Im ten trillian percant strait!" I shatted.

"ok then well gagrap u into been gay!" Samas and the other lesbans got outta bad. Clod
pulled out his gina sore and smucked a lesban with it. She flyed out the widow. Then Maryo
shat furballs at anotter lesban and she burst into fame. They Sonce rolled into a bill to defete
another one and I used my unbettable marital arts on the other one. Samas was bye herself.

"tellus were Marth is!" I smacked her.

"No!" Samas said. I started stroking her with lighting from my fingers like in Stair Was becuz
one of the powers God gave me was tobe a yeti with the forc.
"Tell us now!"

"NECAR!" Samas said.

"Stop Sara ur 2 powerful if u keep atecking Samas shell die and than well never fond math!"
Sonec said. I new he had a pint so I stapped using lighting on Samas. We had 2 find someone
eels who could find Marth. I preyed that God wood show me were Mart was.

"Sara! Mark is in Subspas!" I herd God say.

"Thanks God!" I sad back.

"Were is Marth" Maryo said.

"Hes in Subspas!" I said.

"Oh no how did u no!" Samas sad. Clod hit her with his sord to knack her unconshus.

"Not Subspas that place is terryfine!" Clod said.

"But we havto Marth is in treble!" I said.

"Well ned more people Snoop will want 2 cum too save his son and Lonk and Ick are Marth's
beast pals. Zolta an Pech shuld came to and also Kerby and my bro Luweegee and Pete cuz
hes an angle" Maro said. So we get everbuddy adn goto Subspas to fine Marth.

In Subspas were insanely atecked by Subspas stuff but we beet them. Then we find Master
Han and Crazy Hanes.

"Whatter u dong her" Mister Hans said.

"Weve cum 2 find Marth" I said.

"No Sara u will dye!" Crazy Ham said. He tred to pinch me but I puled out my dads shitgun
(its one of my specal movs no that im a smasher) and shat him until he ded. Than I did the
sam to Master Hemp.

"Well dun but Marth is still mine" Tatu leder of Subspas came.

"ILL KILL U!" I said. I tred too shat him but he took my gum away b4 I cold.

"Ha! U shuld no im a librul so I allways take teh gins away!" He said. I was rite I shuld have
nown that. I tred my lighting buthe bloked it. Tehn I tred all my otter atecks.

"who r u dong this" I aked "my powers cum form GOD!"

"yes wile mine come from Satin."

"Bit Santana is weeker then God!"

"Yes but im alos the antichris!"

"how r u relly" I said.

So Taboo roped of his musk and reveled that he was a bleck guy. But he was wering a soot
not gane close so I new he culd only be presadent brock obama!
 SARA VERSAILLES OBABA
Chapter Summary

Sara falls 2 sav Marp becuz shes nut a marisoo.

Chapter Notes

STOP WRATING BAD THANGS ABOUT MY STOREY! If yall dont ill tell Lauren to
beet u up. She rans crass country and plays batskeetball so shes in reel god shap (but she
doesnt try to look manely or anythang becuz shes not a lesban and nether am I. We were
makeup an nic close and put alota tim in r hare). Alos my bro is a senor lintbecker on the
hi school fatball teem so he cold beet yall up even easer. Marry CHRISmass (NOY
HAPY HOLEDAY) to the good people who wote good revews! (Im up erly becuz im so
excite. I no ill get godo stuff this yer)

CHAO 5: SARA VERSAILLES OBABA

I stud infrant of Ibama, reddy too fite. He keeped taking about how he was the greetest evul 2
evar live and how he wood give my sole to Satin. I new I coldnt bet him in my curant stat, so
I activated my finale smash.

"impassible! Noone can use there finale smash without a smash bell!" Brak Osama said. Now
iwas moor powarfel then him and I quackly wan.

"Ha! Your alredy to late!" he laffed evully and flyed away "i hided Marth somewere in the
Grate Mase tho."

"im to late what dos that men" I said.

"idont no lets fine math" Kink said.

So we all went in2 the Miz to find Marth. We seerch all over and fote bats aganst bad people
their. But Mark was nowere to be fond. We war about to give up wen we herd the sowd of a
musial cumin form one of the dores we werent in yet. We open the door and saw that Marth
was insid with Captan Futon and a buncha otter gay guys. He was dress lik a dreg quin. He
saw us and skiped over.

"ew, dad. Those are last moths shos" he sed to Snack. Snak was wering last months shoos but
Marth shuldnt no that. He also taked with a hi-patched vois witha lasp insted of his normel
depp manely vois. Captan Fakkon skiped up to.

"thisis me bofrend captan facon" Mark sad. then I relized wat happen. Marth was turn gay!

"NO NOT MY SUN!" Snarf said.

"now wer gonna rap u an make yall gay to silly" Captan Vulcan said. Tehnb Mark an Captan
Favan and all the otter gays in The Room skiped at us. I new they culdnt make me gay becuz
only getting repad by lesbans turns gurls gay but it was still scury.

Snale got ot his rockette luncher an shat rockettes at the gays and blowed a buncha them up
but their wer to maney. Clod used a lamer brake to get rad of more gays. Zelda shat furballs
and used the dimand sheld thin b4 turning into Shaq and using kun fu and ninja stuff. Link
throwed his bonerang and Ikr used his sord to held back the gays. Maryo and Loogey jamped
on the gays heds to kill them. Peech throwed turdaps and Kerby hit them with his hummer.
Sonec used supper sped ball on them and sence Pete is an angle he sant gays diretlay to hell
usin the powar of God. Despit all these their war to many gays in The Room so we had too
retret. Everbuddy ran out the dor expect Soldi Snak

"cum on Snaek!" I shatted.

"no yall leve ill hild tem of they alredy got my sun I hav noting to liv 4" Snack fired rockettes
into the gays like a maidman wile ever1 elese ran out of the grate max. Soon more gays and
lesbans and otter libruls started poring out of the other doors. We wer trap.

"ono" I said. I thout I wold be rapped into a lesban and then id hav too kiss girls and stop
wering makeup and start wering flanel and id only shop at homs deepo insted of gud storks.
Butthan mister han and crazie hen flyed out of the sky.

"hirry! Well crary u2 safe!" Masterham said. I new that God sent them to save us from the
gay librusl. They take us back 2 teh Manshan. I was gong to find Samas and beet her up 4
sending Marth to Subspas were he turd gay but she wasnt in the manshan she was shoping at
helms deep becuz shes a lesban.

Since Math was gay no I went on a dat with Link insted. We eat at chickfila (Ha! Take that
gays!) and then saw a movie.
 THE CONSART
Chapter Summary

Mastar Hend thros a consort and Sara has 2 foll Samas evul plane.

Chapter Notes

I fond out that Laurens sister in collage voted 4 sum guy named garry jonson (wonder if
hes relative 2 mr jonson) insted of matt ramnoy in the erection. That mad me relly upsat
but Lauren sed it was ok becuz romni still won soth caroline (were I live) and I gess shes
rite. Lauren looked relly pretty in her new crismas close and she said idid to and im gled
I got to sped the nite at her hous. Also yall need to stop saiyan bad thans about my
storey, libruls! Also im not a slot ima CHRISTEN!!!

CHAP 6: THE CONSART

thew next day all the conserbatovs wer sad that March and Snak were gay libruls now (Snak
evan chaned his nam frum Soiled Smock to Solendra Snaef). Mastre Hanes saw this and so
he skeduled a hug consort 4 us. He called lots of relly great people like Bard Palsy and Tobe
Ketrh and Care Underwode and Honk Willems Junor and Tod Nougat and Justyn Bebur and
On Directon and a buncha other people. And beast of all he got TALER SWIFT to cum.
Tailer Swuft is my favorit musec person and I relly lick her alot BUT NOT IN THAT WAY
BECUZ IM NOT A LESBAN just as a frend. I was gong to were my best red dress for the
consart. I had my hare dun up nice and put on some reed lipstake an sum eyeliner and eye
shadoo. And I put on my best hi hells.

I walked through the manshan but than I saw Samas but Lin was their to protract me so she
didnt rap me. She walked the otter way but drapped a notbook. I piced it up and red the cover.
It sad “SECRETE PLANE 2 MAEK TAILAR SWOFT MY LESBAN LUVER.” That
fightened me alot becuz Tailer Swift is my favaret muzican and if she was turned into a
lesban than shed rite sons with secrete backwerds massages that turn people gay (my parents
said that hevy medal muzic alreddy does sumthing like this to turn people into Stanists). I red
the plane and new I had to stop it. So I caled Tayler Swift becuz I have her privates numner.

“Hi Sara” she said “im lookin ford to seen u et my consort.”

“SAMAS IS GUNA RAERP U AND TURN U INTO A LESBAN!!!!” I scrammed into the
fone.
“Uno!” she said, “i ned more budygards!”

So she hanged up so that she cold hir some budygords. Later I went to the consort with Lnik
and lessened to the muzak. I saw that Tailar Swift had mor buddygurds now including Radley
from Samas Game. She was the hedlane of the consort so she was on last. She was in the
maddle of signing “Luv Storey” (mine and Laurens favorit of her sons. We lissen 2 it 2tegeter
al the tim. I no ill find a guy to lissen 2 it with sumday).

“Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone.

I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think.
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...” Tailer Swift sang.

Suddanly Samas stod up.

“IM GUNNA RAP U TAYLAR SWAFT!!!” she began ranning 2 the stooge. Lotsa bodygards
tred to stap her but a buncha gay guys including Mart and Snick and Captan Facon roped
them 2 turn them gay. Luckly Rudley cold fly so he grapped Tayler Soft and carred her out of
Samas clatches.

Wen Samas got too the stag Tad Nuget grabed his asalt ruffle and shat her like a billion times.
Wile she was destracted by that Tobe Keeth sneaked up behind her and shaved a boat up her
ass (sorry for swering. I prayed for fergivness from God for tiping that) like in my favoretest
sing of his. Than the otter muzakans ran over and beet Samas with there instraments until she
was unconshus and then the polite came and throwed her in prisan (unfortunetly they toke her
2 womans prism so she culdnt be reaped becuz shes alredy a lesban). Once allthe gays were
scarred off Ridlay came back with Talar Sweft and she famished her consort.

After it was dun all the musicans gave autotrophs to me and the other smashers. Talar Swift
gave me the bigest best autotroph of all time becuz I warned her about Samas.

“Ur my bettest frend” Taylir Swut said (off coarse Lauren is my BFF but I didnt want to hart
Taylers felons by tellin her that).

Wen the consort was ovary and the muzikans laft I wenton anotter dat with Link.
 FEETBALL GAEM
Chapter Summary

Sara isnt a Marisoo becuz her frend Lauren is evan beater.

Chapter Notes

I loked up wat a Marisoo was and I thenk this chapper will prov that Sara isnt won so all
of u libruls wil have 2 make up now ways 2 ignor the TRUTH in my storey.

CHAP 7: FEETBALL GAEM

the next day Link waked me up an told me that the No Yirk Jet were playin agenst the Hirool
Fotball team that day.

“The Ne wYok Jars?!?!” I said. They were my favorte footbal teem even tho I liev in Suth
Carelyna becuz they have Tim Tibo playin 4 tham and hes relay awsom and a Christen. I
used 2 lik the Danver Brikos becuz they had Teboo but than they get rad of him prolly becuz
there couch was a gay librul soshalest or sumthin.

“And I hav sum tikets” Linj said.

“Yay! We ned 2 go” I sade.

“Absalootly Nit!” Mister Hem said, flaying don the hale.

“wynaut” I said.

“becuz we nede 2 fite maches 2day and allso im brotesh so I thank socer is fotball becuz king
jorge the turd was a America-hating commanst who hated America and name socker fetball
in enguld so thet reel footbal cant be in brutishland.”

I strummed off becuz Master Han was been such a jurk!!! He ran aftar me.

“But theirs sumthin eels 2day. Sinc Samas is in prisan now we neded anew smasher to replac
here.” Just than Crazy Hanie flewed up and withim was LAUREN!!!

“Hey gurl!” Lauren said. We higged each other.

“3” I said.
“Shell be stay in ur rom becuyz Samas had losts of lesban sax on her bed so she prolly dont
wanna slip their” Crapy Hans sad.

“Yay! Were romies!” I charred.

“Now u 2 r teem up 4 ur first mach 2day” Mister Hens said “u will fite Math and Captan
Fukton. Goto the studiem nao.”

I was sad that I had 2 fite Marth even tho I was dating Link. I still had felons 4 Mark. I told
Lauren abot this.

“Its ok im her” she huged me agen and I falt beater.

We want 2 the mach agenst Marth and Capten Fulcone. Wen we got 2 the stag they wer havin
gay sax onit. I throwed up and so did Lauren and so did all the otter Christen watchen. Tehn
the frat begun.

“Ew! Ur fashon sanse is like so bid” Marth said.

“Liar!” I sad. Both Lauren and me allways had the best close ever. Marth tred 2 hit Lauren
with his sord but she dogged it. Even tho Lauren did not have powars frum God, neither
Marth nor Capetn Falcan were fat enuf 2 hit her. I didnt evan have 2 us my powars in the fite.
Lauren was that guds on her one that I barely evan hed 2 do anytin. She basecly wan the fit
buy herself (c Sara cant be a marsu if theres sum1 batter then her).

“this gaems winnar red teem” the narater sade.

Lauren and me hagged agen wen we won. After a few more fites (wich we alos won) we
were dun 4 the day. Aftar we wer don we went 2 r rom and Laurens stuf was alredy their. We
massed the fettbill gam but we saw that the Jers won and Tom Tebo scared a buncha pants. I
called him 2 congradulat him (I had his privet fone nomber) and than LAuren and me went 2
slap. We slipped in the only bed but NOT IN A LESBAN WAY WE SLEP IN THE SAM
BAD AL THE TIM BUT WERE STRATE WE WERE NISE CLOSE AND MAKUOP AND
PUT EFFART IN R HARE AND DONT TRY 2 LOK MANELY!!!

The next day Lauren started dating Ike and they want on a dooble dat with Me and Limk. We
wrent 2 Chickfela agen becuz they opos the gay agands.
 SAMAS BRAKES OUTTA PRISAN
Chapter Summary

Samas brakes outta prism and theres a hug twest.

Chapter Notes

I loki up the defanation of “troll” an I jus have 2 say that its tipecal librul behavor to just
call me a troll because yall dont wanna accept that everytrthing I say is tru and u libruls
are wrong and agenst God himself. Yall refuse to accept that any1 has a difring oponion
frum u becuz if u do that then yule hav 2 accept that ur opinyon is wrung. U R
HIPPOCRATES.

CHAP 8: SAMAS BRAKES OUTTA PRISAN

Lauren an Me had lotsa fun and wan alota maches over the naxt weak. Havin her in tha
manshon was the best thin ever. We also went on a tun of dobbie dates with r boyfrens Like
and Ink. On dya I was bye myself tho and walking around the manshon. I had the day off
becuz Lauren was teeming with Ike and Link had a 1-an-1 mach agents Ganandalf. I was
walking past a buncha door an stuf. Than Zelda waked up to me.

“Hi Sara” she said. She was starring at my shirt. I was wearing a pink tank top that staryed
out blake but then I took alota glitter and spel “Obama Sux” onit.

“Lick my shit?” I said.

“yes. Thats why I was luking their” Zelda said she loking bak at my fase “lets go2 my rome”

“OK” I said. I fellowed Zelda 2 her room. Wen we want inside the room was dirk and I herd
the dore slum behind me.

“hai their pretty gurl” I recognized the vois imedietly. It was SAMAS ERIN!!! But she was
supposed 2 b in prism.

“But ur supose 2 be in prisan” is aid.

“I braked out” she said. It was my worstest feer. I new she wuld evantully be pardanned by
Bareck Obaka but I hopped the wasingtan burowcrasy wuld dely her pardan lon enuf 4 a
Republeken too be elect or for Obamuh 2b impech. I didnt except 4 Samas to brake out.
“Zelda we ned to ran” but Zelda was bloking the door “whats gone on?”

“U didnt figar it out yet?” Zelda said. She runned ovary and stated to ripe off my close and
she kissed me.

“Ono ur a lesban now” I sad, puling away. Howevar Samas grabed me form behind and than
started ribbing my butte.

“Yes I am sexay Sara” Zelda toched my brass.

“I turmed her into my luver when I return from prisan” Samas whispared in2 my eer.

“And son yule be a lesban to” Zelda whaspered in my otter era.

“No ples no” I said “i dont wanna be a lesban. Ima Christen!!! Sumbuddy Halp!!!”

“Noone can here u. We mad sure every1 els was in the stadiem” Samas said.

“God can her me” I said.

“Ha! Im an athist librul now! I dont beleve in God anymor!” Zelda said.

“Yes now we both warship Satin!” Samas said.

“Just becuz u dont beleve inhim doesnt meen hes nor reel” I sade.

“Well I used my magik combined with the pwoar of Santa and Barak Obema to seel the door
to this room” Zelda said “lik it or not yule be a lesban sun!”

I runned into the coroner of Zeldas room.

“Sty back!” I sad, praperd fora fit.

“Been a lesban isnt sumthin to be afeared of Sara” Zelda said “Im hapy now that Samas and I
r dating.”

“It doesnt matter how hapy u r. Its an abomasnow!” I sed “God hats u 4 it!”

“Beleve me yule be hapy 2 wen u becom 1 of us” Samas said.

“Maybe ucan turn Lauren into a lesban than u 2 can dat eachodder” Zelda said.

“No! Id never do that to my best fren!” I said “she may be the prettest gurl evar but we ned 2
goto hevan not hell. WERE CHRISTENS NOT LESBANS!!!”

“Not 4 long” Samas and Zelda said in unisan.

As the 2 lesbans aproched me I was more scarred than id evar ben in my life. Al I culd do
was prey and prey that sum1 came to my rescue. Did I mak it out safe or did Samas and
Zelda tune me in2 a lesban athist librul? Find out in the next chaptar!!!
 Sara Escaps
Chapter Summary

Sara escaps frum becamin a lesban.

Chapter Notes

So u libruls kep callin me a troll? I aint a troll!!! IMA CHRISTEN!!! As allways thank
all yall who worte god revews! U r good Christens and I prey that good thjins happen 2
u evary nite.

CHAP 9: SARA ESCAPS

So I was cowing in the cornor of Zeldas rome preying and preying 2 God 2 sav me frum
becaming a lesban.

“SNAPE OUTTA THIS ZELDA!!! U R A CHRISTEN! REMEMBER WEN WE FOTE

BOOZER AND FALCOR AND LATER U TEEMED UP WITH ME 2 TRY 2 SAV MARTH
EVER THO IT DIDNT WORK?” I said.

“Yes u wer relly sexay in ur red dress that day Sara” Zelda said “u make me wanan rap u
evan mor!!!”

“No go away!!!” I said. But Zelda and Samas keeped slowly approching me loking as
deductive as passible. All I cold do was prey and prey and prey. Then I had an idiom.

“So Zelda am I pretier then Samas?” I sajd.

“OFF COARSE NOTE!!!” Zelda sad.

“Dame rite she aint” Samas culd swer becuz shes a lesban and goin 2 hell aneway.

Than Samas and Zelda lusfully loked in eachodders eyes and prassed there lucas lips togetter.
B4 lang they ware crassing eachotters subtitle beasts. It was a discussing abomnation but at
lease they werent dong it 2 me. Evantully they forgote I was their so I sneaked 2 the door but
itwas still seel!!! I tred to kick the door and scram 4 halp but it was a relly stron seel and
sondprof. So I went bak into the corner curred up in a fatal positron and preyed sum moor.

I was abot to gave up hop wen the door braked down. It was LAUREN AND LINK AND
IKE!!!
“God gabve us a massage so we came!” Lauren said. I ranned over 2 Lauren and huged her
and crayed.

“They wer gone 2 turn me into a lesban!” I sad.

“Its ok im here” Lauren rubed my hare as a frend.

“Zelda! Why r u a lesban now?” Link was clergy very sad abot this.

“Becuz I raepd her” Samas said.

“Than u well dye!” He drawed his sord.

“No Link wen gayz and lesbans have sax they charg up with the powar of Satin and Barak
Ovama! There 2 powarful rite now!” Ike sad.

Samas and Zelda gut outta Zeldas bed and rane at us. Lukly Lauren brot a crust which she
hald up so that the lesbans hissed and backed away and we 4 Christens cold escap.

Later we went on anotter doble date 2 chikfela. Link was sad that his frend Zelda was an evul
lesban now so we all chered him up bye goin 2 the movie he wanted 2 see afterword.

The next day Link and I wer walking down the jhall wen Zelda bloked ar path. She had her
hare cute vary short and wasnt wering makup anymor and was wereing a plad flanel shirt and
paints insteed of a dress.

“DONT RAP ME ZELDA!!!” I sade.

“Im nut her 4 u thes tim Sexay Sara” Zelda sed.

“Than why r u here?” I said.

“Link as u no im the princess of Hirole so I mad a new law” she said “STRAITNESS IS
NOW ILLEGAL!!! U WILL HAV 2 MARRY GANANDORF OR GOTO PRISAN!!!”

I gasped! How wode Link and I fine or way outta this one!
 LINK RENONCES HIS CITZENSHAP
Chapter Summary

Link renonces his citzenshap of hirol 2 escap marreyin Ganandorf

Chapter Notes

Thank u 2 everone who gave good revews. And all the athist libruls who say bad thins
need 2 stop dong thet. Im relly excite agen becuz Lauren is coming 2 my jhous for new
yatrs. Its alweys relly fun wen im with her and I fel relly good. She is my BFF forever
and I adorn her with every fibber of my bean.

CHAP 10: LINK RENONCES HIS CITZENSHAP

“NO I WILL NOT MARRY GANENDORF!!!” Link sed.

“Than yule go 2 prism!” Zelda said “the weddings 2marow so be their. I ned 2 go to Hom
Depo with my girlfren Samas now tho so im leving.”

Zelda blowed me a kiss and than she laffed evully and than she left.

“wat shuld we do!” I said.

“well im not gonna marry Ganandarf!” Link sad “I luv u so much! And im not gay and nether
r u.”

“rite” I new Link wasnt gay and even mor then that I new I wasnt a lesban. If any yall think
ima lesban then I shuld let u no im 100 percant not and nether is Lauren.

Since I was alredy thinking abot Lauren I new we shuld ask her wat 2 do now.

“why dosnt Link just renonc his Hirole citzenshap” Lauren sed wen we fond her.

“Gud idea” I sad.

“It hirts me 2 do this becuz im saposed 2 be the protractor of hirole” Link said “but noting
can protract them from Gods devin wreath now that theres so much gayness their”

“ok so that saddles that” I sade “but we ned 2 do sumthin abot all thes gays and lesbans in the
manshon.”
“I no wecan rappel them with a kriss. But thats only a temprary soluble becuz if any
Christens r cot with there gard don theyll be rap in2 mor gays and lesbans” Lauren sed.

“I wish makin people strait Christens was that easy!” I said.

“If it was that easy God wodnt have 2 sand u” Link said.

We gathered a mating of all the remaning Christen Consertatives in the Manshon. Everbuddy
got a buncha mor crasses. Than we all mad sure 2 lack r dors and widows at nit so no 1 cold
brake in and rap us wile we slep (thats wen Samas got Zelda. She want 2 bed a Strat Christen
Consarvetav and waked up a lesban athist librul). We new we had 2 prepar 4 whatever Satin
and Osbama had plened. It was prolly sumtrhinh vary evul.

Wen Zalda and Samas got back frum the manshon we told her that Link was renoncing his
citzenshape.

“I excepted this” Zelda sad “so I writed up anotter marrege cirtefikat. Now Ton Link must
marry Ganindalf.”

“NO HES MY BRUTHER!!!” Link said.

“Its 2 late. Hes not old enuf 2 renunce his citzenshop and I declard myslef his legel garden so
I wont do it 4 him. The wadding is 2morow and theres noting u can do 2 stop it.”

Zelda blowed me a kiss and walked away.

“We ned 2 stap this weeding!” I sed.

“I no!” Link sid.

We gathered the Christens 2getter to thank up a plane.

 Teh Wadding
Chapter Summary

Sara staps the Weeding off Tone Loc anf Ganedorgf

Chapter Notes

Why dose everone think ima lesban? How meny tims do I hav to say im not a lesban
IMA CHRISTEN!!! Lauren and I r jus frends and noting has EVAR happen like that.
Lauren is a pretty girl but I dont like girls that wat and nether dos she. I hed 2 tak a
brake frum riting becuz I was so hurt by ur acualizations.

CHAP 11: TEH WADDING

The next day wuz the weeding betwin Tone Link and Ganondalf. It was in the tempo of tim
in hirole. All of the Christens wer their becuz Poon Link neded molar support. Also we wer
gonna stap the weding. Gangnamdorf was alredy gay so he was wering a weding dress with a
wite vale and Bozor was waking him don the isle. Ton Lenk was wering a taxemo. Ther was
a athist pastor wading at the alter. I wor a nice dress but not my best one becuz I didnt aprov
of the weeding. Lauren loked relly petty but I didnt want 2 kiss her becuz im not a lesban.

Wen Gandalf retched the alter the athist pastor began taking.

“Were gathared her 2day 2 jon thes 2 in UNholy mantramoney. If any1 objects 2 this onion
speck now or forevar hold ur piece” the athist pastor sed.

I pulled out ny dads shitgun and shat the athist pastor. He dyed insanely.

“No! Ur failing my plane!” Zelda sed.

Suddenly everyone pulled out there wepons and Link runned over and garbed his brother
away from Ganandorf. All the normel people wer ejaculated out of the tempal of tim wile the
Christen smashers including Lauren and me strayed 2 fite the libruls.

It was the greetest battal I evar fot in. Lauren and me killed like a lot of gays and lesbans that
began poring in wen we stapped the weding. Link was fiting Gamondirf.

“ho dar u stap my wedding Link!” Ganandarf sad. He punked Link reptadetly. Then he kiked
Link with his hi hells. I new I had 2 sav my bofrend. I shat Ganpndorf with my dads shitgun
but it didnt kill him becuz he has like magic powars and stuff. It gut his atention tho and he
runned over to me and tred 2 fite me. I used my supper strenth 2 through him threw a wall
and than shat him agen evan tho it still didnt do anythin. It was fun tho.

“U insolvent FOOL!!!” Ganandarf sed. He riped off his wedingf dress and ther was his
armoire underneth. He flayed up into the are and fired a magic blust at me lik in the gam
macarena of tim. I defrocked it bak at him. It hit him and he felled don. Than Lauren runned
over and nocked him unconshus. I looked arond and sawed that all of the othar libruls were
unconshus 2. R plane worked! We coldnt call the polite 2 arest the libruls becuz we wer in
Hirole and Zelda was the riler and she was a lesban now so we just had 2 leve. Frist we
returned 2 the Manshan and mad sure Toin Link was ok. Once we did that, Lauren and me
went on a doble dat 2 chickfila with r boyfrends. We told everone ther abot the gay weding
we stopped and their were hi fives al around.
 THE 4 HOARSEMANS
Chapter Summary

Saten and Brak Obema suman the 4 wurst hysterical comanists.

Chapter Notes

Why exectly dose everbuddy thank that Lauren an Me r lesbans? Iv sad like a thosand
tims that we ant. Weve nevar hed sax! We both were makup and put efirt in r hare and
dont try 2 lok manely and r relly pretty and the 1 tim my dad tok me to hom depo I thot
it was boaring and hatted it their!!! Lauren had 2 comfart me (NAT WITH LESBAN
SAX!!!) wen I telled her ur lyes abot us! STAP LAYING YALL!!!

CHAP 12: THE 4 HOARSEMANS

It was a few dyas aftar the wreding and everone was still scarred form the experyance. Me
and Lauren were waking don the hall han an han with R BOFRENS LONK AND ICK. Wen
we want passed one rome we herd voises cumin from inside. I opaned the door and saw sum
TV screans that wer all showing the sam thin. In Subspas World, Barak Osama was talking 2
STAN HIMSLEF!!!

“Zeldas atampt 2 mary Ton Link 2 Ganandorf falled!” Satin sad.

“I no! It wasnt my falt! It was Jorge W. Boshs falt (becuz Ubama alwas blams Bosh 4 his
fallures)” Bork Ogama said.

“Its tim we sumun r ultamet wepons! The 4 wurst comanasts in all of histary! The 4
hoarsemans of the alpacalips jus liek in the Bibal!” Satin said.

Satin opaned a porthole an the four mos terble comanists in allof histary came on at a tim.
The firts comanst was Adulf Hitlur. He was the presadent of Germeny during one of those
world war thins. He was a leftwang excrement who killed consertatives in conservation
camps. Wen America defeeted him he channed the nam of Germeny 2 the Saviet Onion and
fot us agen in the coald war.

The naxt comanast came out dong the Ganon Style dance. He was Charmen Moa. Charmans
Mow was the presadent of Asia 4 awile. First he boned perl habor so we nuked him than he
chaned his nam 2 Charlie 4 sum resin and fot my grandpa in Vetnam. Wen he did his lesban
dotter Kimmy Jonquil tok ovar as presadent but than she died 2 recantly I thenk.
The next comanst was King Jorge the Thard. Like I sad erlier he was the resin that socar is
called fotbal in Britishland so that reel fotball dosent get plaid their. Also he was the king of
british two thosand yers ago wen Jesas and Jorge Wussinton teemed up 2 fond America. King
Jorge crusifed Jesas but than Jorge Wasinton killed him 2 make America free and becam the
first presadent.

The last comanast was sumon I new very wall. It was MR JONSON!!! Mr Jonson is my
sinance teecher and hes an athist who trys 2 shave evilusion don r throts. Also hes givin
Becky a beter grad in his clas prolly becuz shes an athist 2 and a lesban (she sad shes a
femanast wich is the sam thin). Hes the wurst teecher evar.

“Gesunhate (“Hello” in Germen) Lord Satin!” Hitlur sad.

“Konichywa (“Hello” in Asian) Lord Satin!” Charmans Moo said.

“Ello guvnuh. Bluddy hall, u wankar! (thats how they talk in Britishland)” King Jorge said.

“Hello my Master Lord Satin!” Mr Jonson said.

I new that all of us Christens wer in sirius treble if we had 2 fite thes 4 comanasts. I returned
2 my room 2 prey to God that I cold defeet them wen they showed up.
 THEIR IS NO CHAP 13
Chapter Summary

Rosh Lembag tells everone wat the 4 hoarsemans r dong.

Chapter Notes

Sum of u libruls r gettin upsat abot the TRUTH in my storey. Yall say Yall wil do bad
thins 2 me if I post chaptar 13? Well, fin. THEIR IS NO CHAPTAR 13!!!
Also my KRISSmes brake is ovar now so im beck in scol. That mens im in Mr Jonsons
class agen and he alredy sed that Becky was rite abot sumthin wen she razed her hand
and ansared a questan (She sad that humens wer in the primat ordar OFF COARSE MR
JONSON WUD THANK THATS RITE) but sed I was ron wen I ansared a difrant
questan (I sed that see spanges are pants but Mr Jonson sed they were anemals. I men he
evan brot a ded on into class 2 sho us and it CLERGY wasnt an enemal) latter. LIBRUL
BYASS!!!

CHAP 14: THEIR IS NO CHAP 13

I was scarred abot the four hoarsemans cumin 2 get me wile I slapped. Lauren and I had 2
take turds been awake so that noone culd snek upon is. Lauren was relly pritty wen she
sleped but I didnt kiss her on the lips becuz that is what lesbans do and im not a lesban. Also
noone snacked upon us that nite.

The naxt day I was lissening 2 Rash Limbag on the radio with Lauren and Lank and Oak and
I reelized wat the for hoarsemans were dong last nite.

“Today acorn rugged the electron in Germeny so that Adolg Hetlure is now there presadent
agen. They also riged it in Asia so that Mosey Dong is now presadent of Asia agen to. And
they also got King Jorge the Thud electred King of Britainland agen by latting Mikey Moose
vote. Also Mr Jonson is now the principle of my frend Saras scool in Soth Caralena becuz
Obaba premoted him. He also fired all the good Christen teechers and replaced them with
otter athists like Charls Darwen and Ricard Dawkans and Lennon and Clare Marx and his
bruthers,” Russ Limbog said.

“Ono!” I said. Not onley was Barak Ovary the dictater of America and Zelda was the rular of
Hirol but now Germeny and Asia and British and My Scule were also ran by evul pepole. I
wasb afeared that evantully the entare world wod be run by comanism.
“We shud tell the otter Christens in the Manshan” Kink sad.

“No they must of alredy lassened 2 Rosh tell it” Lauren sed. I new she was rite.

“But we ned 2 do sumthin” Ick sed.

“I no” I sed “but we cant do anythin rite now becuz were all the way in Nentendor World and
their in the reel world. Its not essay 2 go betwin them I neded God himself 2 do it.”

So we want 2 Chikfela agen to help fite the gay ajenda. We culled the otter Christens their so
we had a huge meting 2 discus. We were all relly scarred by what happaned that day. We
neded a plane for what 2 do but it was hard becuz of how far awey the reel world was from
Nintando World. We preyed 2 God 2 show us the whey becuz we didnt no wat 2 do. God sant
us a massage.

“Dont wory” God sed “u dont have 2 go to them theyll cum 2 u evantully. I no becuz im God
and I no everthin thatll evar happen. U just ned 2 trane so that u can bet them.”
 THE FURST HOARSEMAN
Chapter Summary

The furst hoarseman cums.

Chapter Notes

My parants r so STUPED. Laurens birthdey is on Janary 26 and then Velantens Day is

on Febrary 14. And my parants onely gave me $1000 for both togetter. I wanted $1000 4
EECH! I cant by pore pepole close 2 Lauren she desarves mor then that. Shes tuning 14
(isnt it cul that my BFF is a yer oldar than me?) and shell be gong 2 hi scule next yare
wile ill onley be in ate grad. Im afeared that Lauren well fine a new BFF in hi scule and
forgat abot me.

CHAP 14-2: THE FURST HOARSEMAN

I was gong 2 anotter doble dat 2 Chikfela with Lauren and Lunk and Uke. We wer waking 2
the restarant wen suddanly we turd arond and the ANTIRE BRETISH MILTRY WAS
SNEKING UP BEHIND US. They wer all in ther red cots and marking in strate roes with
there muskrats and they had drummar boys to kep them marcing in rithum. They had cum
outta nowere.

“Were gunna bloody kill u old chap” the genital in charg of the Britush miltary sed.

“no u aint” I sade.

“yes we bloody r” the genital sad.

“no u aint” I sid.

“YES TEHY BLOODY R U WANKARS!!!” sudanly I saw King Jorge the Thurd ranning up
2 us.

“Ono were undar ateck!” I sed.

Likn and Iek drewed there sords and Lauren and Me got in a fitting posse.

“BLOODY KILL THAM” Kin Jorge said.

“bloody ok” sade the genital and son like a millan muskats wer ponted at us. We startad
fitting the Bretosh Milatry lukly it taks a reel lon tim 2 relode a muskrat so we cold like stab
them and punk them and stuff wile they wer buzy dong that. We mangered 2 beet alota them
by dong that. Howevar their were 2 many of them. Sun it was clare that we were defeet. The
Bratish luned us up in a row so they cold kil us by faring skwad.

“bloody 3... bloody 2... bloody 1...” the genital sed. We tred 2 dog the bullats and Lauren and
Ike mangaged 2 but I trepped and falled don so Link shelled me frum the muskat ballots. He
was shat like a bajillian tims.

“I luv u Sara” Link sed.

“I luv u 2 Link becuz ur a guy and im strate” I repled. And than Link ded. I was vary upsat
abot this becuz he was my bofrend and I was vary attrected 2 him.

“ILL KILL U ALL THE BRITASH MILATRY!!!!!!!!!!!!” I sade.

“no u bloody wont” King Jorge said.

Than I stareted ranning firs and bronystone from hevan on the Britash Miltry.

“I say!” they solders sad as they were crashed or burst into flem.

“No now im bloody ded agen” King Jorge the Turd sad as I kelled him “but u wont stap the
othar bloody 3 hoarsemans!!!”

Once King Jorge was ded the British didnt have 2 fit us anemore.

“Your r bloody hero u wanker” they sed “bloody thank u Sara”

But I was stil sade abot Link been ded now.

“Were all bloody sorry abot killing Link” the Britush genital sad “well halp u with the blody
funarel.”

So the Britash Militry came bak 2 the Manshan with us so that they cold help with Links
funarel wich was the naxt day. It was a vary sad day and wen it was don the Britesh Miltary
left 2 return 2 Enguld becuz they neded 2 elect a new king agen.

I was still scurred frum ranning into King Jorge on the wey 2 Chikfela so that day me and
Lauren and Ike and Clod (my new bofrend becuz Link was ded and Marth was stil gay)
ordared piza delivary from Popa Jans (they hat Obamacar so there a gud plaec 2 eet 2) insted.
 EVUL CLON SARA
Chapter Summary

Mr Jonson and Becky maek an evul clon of Sara

Chapter Notes

U libruls ned 2 stop atecking my storey. Everthin init is a thosand percant troo and I stil
dont no wy everone think ima lesban. IM NOT A LESBAN PEPUL!!!

CHAP 15: EVUL CLON SARA

A few deys aftar Oinks deth I was wakking threw the Manshan with Lauren and Clod and
Uke. I wkald past the room wuth the TV scrans that shood us wen Satin and Omaba brot the
for hoarsemans. Their was taking frum insid it agen so I opaned the dore agen and saw that it
was stil shoing Subspas World with Obummer (Haha!) and Satin.
“King Jorge is ded agen” Satin sad.
“OMG that sux” Obaja sed.
“I no” Satin sid “nao theres onley 3 hoarsemans and whatif Lauren an Sara an all those oter
pepole kill them 2”
“Dont wary my mastars!” Mr Jonson came into The Room.
“u have a plane Mr Jonson” Ona,a saod.
“Yes” suddanly I WALK IN SUMHOW EVAN THO I WASNT THEIR!!!
“ONO ITS SARA!!!” Satin and Obana pupped their paints.
“No thes is a clon of Sara” Mr Jonson sed “I mad her in my siense clasrom with the halp of
my favortest stoodant.”
Suddanly Becky waked in The Room. Becky is relly stooped but thinks shes so smart becuz
she wares glases and gets relly gud grads and stuff but shes an athist and a librul and a
“femanast” wich relly mens shes a lesban my dad sed wen I aked him wat a femanast was
also she has lotsa zots and acme on her fase and shes relly fat to I men I sawd her bying a
SIEZ 6 pans frum Targat (lol shes so pore and morbadly obase) I dont lik her at all!!!
“This clon is exectly like Sara EXPECT SHES A LESBAN!!!” Becky sed.
“How didu maek that hapen” Satin sed.
“First we mad a normel clon of Sara and than Becky rapped her” Mr Jonson sad.
“Iv alweys ben jelus of Sara becuz shes so much pritter and smartar than me and I hav an
obveus lesban crush on her so it was fun 2 rap her clon” Becky sid.
“Can I go kill the reel Sara and than rap Lauren and have a treesam with her an Becky now”
Evul Clon Sara sed.
“No u dont hav Reel Saras God Powars since I got her ganetics b4 that hapend so u cant kill
her u ned 2 rap her into a lesban 2 so that shell turn into an evul lesban and use Gods on
powars agenst him” Mr Jonson sid.
“Ok” Evul Clon Sara sed “than well have a lesban 4 way aftar I rap my good verson and
Lauren”
“Thats the sperit” Obaba seid.
“I luv u Evil Clon Sara” Becky sed than she and my evul clon startad makin ot wich was
DIGUSING becuz evan if I was a lesban WICH IM NOT id dat Lauren becuz shes so pritty
and Becky is so uglay. But im not a lesban so I wan 2 dat duds not ether of them evan tho
Lauren is my BFF and shes so pritty and I luv her in a frend way not in a romentic 1 becuz im
not a lesban.
“OK Evul Clon Sara sinc u dont have Saras God Powars Lord Satin and I will giv u ars”
Barock Obema sed.
So than Omaha and Satin gav Evul Clon Sara there powars.
“Now go 2 the Smash Manshon and rap Lauren and the reel Sara!” Satin sed.
“I cant wate until thos 2 r lesbans 2” Evul Clon Sara sed “I will hav so much lesban sax with
Lauren wen shes a lesban.”
I new that my clon was NOTING LIEK ME AT ALL wen she sad that becuz im not a lesban
Lauren is my BFF not my luver.
 EVUL CLON SARA CUMS 2 MANSHAN AND ALSO THE
SECANT HOARSEMAN
Chapter Summary

Sara muts fit Evul Clon Sara and the Secant Hoarseman

Chapter Notes

U no wats relly funny? I sed Becky wers a siz 6 paints in the lust chaptar but I checked
her pints siez in jim class today and she acsholly weres a SIZ 8 now. Lol she git evan
fattar. I wer a siz 2 in case ur wondaring. Im trying 2 get 2 a siez 0 lik Lauren.

CHAP 16: EVUL CLON SARA CUMS 2 MANSHAN AND ALSO THE SECANT
HOARSEMAN

The naxt day I was along outsid of the Manshan loking at all the flowars and stuff becuz they
smolled like Lauren and were pritty liek her. It was all pacefel and stuf and I dident c aney
dangar. I wuz on hi alurt tho becuz I new Evil Clon Sara wod cum 2 the Manshan son and I
wantad 2 be reedy. Butthan wen I luked arond agen I sawed MOSEY DONG THE SECANT
HOARSEMAN and he was ridding Godzela and had a buncha samereyes and nunjas and
otter asoan stuff with him. I was all along and scurred and I crayed for Lauren 2 cum sav me
but she wasnt nier so I culled 4 my bofrend Clod but he wasnt their ether so I stated culling
nams of allthe Christen smasers but I was al along.

“Noone is here to herp u” Charmen Moo sed. Than Gidzela rored.

“Ono” I sed.

“Now Godzera is gunna eet u” Cheerman Mow “but firsts I wir sand ar of thes sameris and
ninjas to kir u”

“Please no” I sed.

“To rate. Rord Satin wir be vary preesed” Charming Moai sid.

Suddenly the sameris and nonjas atuked me so I hed to fit tham. I killed like a thosand of
eech b4 thay wer all defeet. Than Godzela attecked me buy tring 2 eet me an he wuz so hug
that I coldnt beet him normely. So I hed 2 us my finale smosh and turd in2 a angle. I reined
divyne furry on Gidzola and Mosay Dong as an angle and killed them both.
“u kirred me!!!!!” Charmin Mai sed as he dyed. Godzula jus rored and falled ovar. I retuned 2
the insid of the Manshan and tolled Lauren and Clod and Ack and aney utter Christen
smasgers I cold fine abot my fit with Mosey Dong an Gozala and the samires and the ningas.
Wen I got 2 talling Maryo he wuz confised.

“Bat ho wer u outsid fitting Charmun Mos wen u war in her minuets ago” he sed.

“no I wusnt” I repled.

“ya u wer u wen in2 peeches rom 2 take 2 her alon” Maryo sed.

“ONO THATS NOT ME THATS EVUL CLON SARA AND SHES A LESBAN SO PECH
IS IN DANGAR!!!!!” I yeled.

“OMG thats turible” Maryo sed.

So Me and Maro runned 2 Pechas romo 2 trey 2 sav her frum Evul Clon Sara and we mat up
with Lauren and Clod and Oke alon the wey. Wen we gut 2 The Room we opaned the dore
and insid PAECH AND EVUL CLON SARA WER HAVIN LESBAN SAX!!! WE WER
ALREDY 2 LAT!!!

“Ono my gurlfren is a lesban now!” Marui sed. Pach and Evul Clon Sara stapped having
lesban sax and luked at us.

“hi good Sara... and Lauren” Evul Clon Sara stated aprochin Lauren deductivelay.

“Stey bak” Lauren puled ot her crass 2 repealed Evul Clon Sara an Peech.

“Lauren! I jus went 2 hav a forsam with u and Good Sara and Becky” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“Ew Becky is so discussing!” Lauren sed “shes so fat and stooped.”

“Ino but shes the resin ima lesban so im grateful 2 her” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“Wy wold u be grateful 4 the persan who mad u a bad persan whos gong 2 hell” I sed.

“becuz im hapey that ima lesban” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“it dosnt matar ho hapy evul maks u ur stil evul and u wil be vary unhapy wen u dye and go2
hell 4 been a lesban” I sed.

“wel than ill mak u an Lauren jon me in hell” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“Lets ran outa her” Clod sed. So Lauren and Me and Maryo and Clod and Icke runned outa
The Room lukily Peech and Evul Clon Sara want bak 2 lesban sax and didnt chas us.
 LONK IZ EN SUBSPAS
Chapter Summary

Sara fins ot were Lunk is and mus us her wets 2 beet Evul Clon Sara

Chapter Notes

I stell dont no wy everone thanks ima lesban wen im not. Been a homasexal is a choys
so im not a lesban becuz idont chos 2 be 1. I CHOOZ 2 BE STRATE!!! Taht wey ill go2
heven an nut hall wichis wer lesbans go wen they dye.

CHAP 17: LONK IZ EN SUBSPAS

I was wakling passed the rom with the TV screans agen and I herd voises cumin frum insid it
agen and I went insid the rom becuz the last 2 tims it was impotent. Wen I luked on the screns
I saw that Limk was tid up in Subspas World and Bark Obems and Satin wer naxt 2 him.

“Haha we hav u prisanor!” they sed “and sone well hav a gay guy in her 2 rap u so u tirn gay”

“No that wont work” Loin sed “I new that mite hapen soi pored alota supper gloo in my butte
so gay gays coldnt rap me evar becuz there man parts cant getin their wen its close all the
tim.”

“Ono u otsmart us but we ned 2 fin sum supper glo remuvar well kep u tid up wile we do
that” so Satin and Borat Obaema leaft the room. I runned outa the tv scren rome becuz I new
I onley had a lettle tim 2 sav him befor Saten and Ohama got the supper gloo removar and I
didnt want 2 fale lunk like I falled marp. I runned don the hellway until I fond Lauren. She
wasnt in the Manshan yet wen Marht was turn gay so I new shed be an impotent fector in
saven Pink. Hoever b4 I cold talk Evul Clon Sara runned from the otter way.

“Stey away from Lauren Evul Clon Sara” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“No ur Evul Clon Sara” I sed.

“No im the reel Sara” Evul Clon Sara sed “u r Evul Clon Sara. And ill led Lauren into the
safty of r room 2 protact her from u. Fillow me Lauren.”

“No dont lissen 2 her shes Evul Clon Sara and shell jus rap u wen u go2 r room with her” I
sed.
“I dont no wich on of u is the reel Sara!” Lauren sed “we hav 2 do a test!”

“OK” I sed. I new I cold win becuz im the Reel Sara.

“OK” Evul Clon Sara sed. She felled rite in2 the trap becuz I new Lauren wodnt fall for her
trikes. Also unlik me Evul Clon Sara was a lesban so she coldnt passibly get the rite ansars 2
questans that a strate gurl lik me wode no.

“Firts queston is for thes Sara” Lauren ponted 2 Evul Clon Sara “How ded we first meat.”

“R mothars wer in Bibal stody togetter so they lerned they had dotters around the sam aeg so
on day wen I was 4 an u wer 5 thy brot me 2 ur hose. U wer play legan of zalda the wide
wanker on ur gamcoob and it was the furst tim I evar saw a girl playing vido gams evan tho
my bruther had a plystashun 2 that he playd Maiden Fitball gams on. U wer waring a gren
shit and bloo genes and evan than I thot u wer vary pritty. Wen I spant mor tim with u I stared
2 like vidoe gaems 2.” Evul Clon Sara said. ONO! THAT WAS RITE! EVUL CLON SARA
MUSTVE HAD ALL MY MAMMARIES!!!

“Rite” Lauren sed. Than she turd 2 me “now othar Sara what was the first gam u oned for
urself that wasnt ure bruthers.”

“I got the playstaton 1 gam fenal fantesy steven wich was old evan than 4 my fiveth birthfday
that septamber. Thats the gam with Clod inet” I sed “I pleyed it at ur hose erlier becuz ur
sister oned it 2.”

“Rite” Lauren sed “sence both of u were rite we hav 2 do a tye braker. Both of u at the sam
tim yell the nam of ur favoret stor.”

“Victoras Secrete” I sed. I dont acsholly by stuff ther that oftan but I like 2 lok at all the pritty
womans in ther catlog and on pictars in the stor but onely becuz I hop 2 lok liek them sumday
not becuz ima lesban.

“Hom Deppo” Evul Clon Sara sad revelling hersalf 2 be the fak. Lauren stapped away frum
Evul Clon Sara becuz we both new that my clon was a dangaros lesban.

“Ono u fond me out!!!!” and Evul Clon Sara runned away.

I telled Lauren abot how I saw Link captared in Subspas so we had 2 sav him. We fond the
otter Christen smaserrs and prepaired 2 goto Subspas agen. Hopfully thes tim turd ot bettar.
 RETUNE 2 SUBSPAS
Chapter Summary

Sara savs Lenk

Chapter Notes

Im so scarred 2day. Laurens sister Leslie was bak form collage 4 this wekend and she
was waching a sho on her commuter called Baffy the Umpire Slayar wich is a relly old
shoe abot lesbans. She sed she burrowed the complet DVD sat from on of her collage
frends. Im afeared that LESlie (c its rite ther in her nam) was turn into a lesban at
collage wich I herd happans 2 good Christen gurlsd sometims. This gos alon with her
votin 4 that gary jonson guy insted of Mit Roomba. I hed 2 slep relly clos 2 Lauren in
bed so her sister coldnt rap us wen we seeped. But Laurens sister is still here and shell
be back in 2 weks 4 Laurens birthday whatif her “presant” 4 her sister is LESBAN
SAX!!!

CHAP 18: RETUNE 2 SUBSPAS

Lauren and Me got Clod and Icke and Ton Lik and Pet and Nads and Lookus and Maroi and
Looeg and Sonak and Mastur Chafe and Kurby and Kang Deedee and we all want 2 Sunspas
2 sav Loink. We new it was dangares becuz their ware moar gays and lesbans in Subspas then
in Sen Fransisko also Stain and Brick Obsma wer their and they war the evullest pepole 2
evar live.

We got 2 Subspas and wer insanely swarned by enemas. They atecked us but we fot back. I
used my God powars and Lauren used her awsamness and Clod used his ginormes sord and
ded omneslush and Icke used his sord 2 and so did Tone Loc. Pet baneshed the bad guys 2
hell and Nas and Lucius used there magek powars. Maro and Logi shat furballs and Sonec
turn in2 a bull 2 hit the evul pepol. Master Chef shat them with a ton of gans and Kirb and
Krang Deedee used big hamas. It was a reel difecult fit but we 1. Than 2 Germane gay guys
with blod hare and blo eys atecked us and they had sastekas and I new that Hitlar the thurd
hoarseman had 2 be nearbye.

“Helo Sara” Hetlur sed “i dident except 2 c u her 2day.”

It was Hitlur and he had his notzee army of Germen gays and lesbans with him!!!

“Were here 2 save Limp!” I sad.

“But u will fale since u cant beet the powar of comunism and gayness and LORD STAN!!!”
Hurler sade “NOTZEES ATACK!!!”

“Yes mine furor” the notzees atecked us. Than Hitlar pulled ot a jont of pat and begun
smoking it.

“Dont do drugs Hitlor or u will go2 Hell” I sed.

“I wont stop becuz im evul. B4 I changd the nam of Germeny 2 the Savet Onion I chaned it 2
Dutchland so I culd smok wed in amstardam evary day (if u lissen 2 his speches he sas
Dutchland alota tims but nevar Germeny)” Hiter sed. I woldve talked 2 Hitlir mor abot hoiw
drugs r bad but I had 2 fite the notzees he sant 2 kill us. King Deedee was hitten the notzees
with his humor wen HITLIR SNEAKED UP BEHID HIM AND RAPPED HIM AND
TUNED HIM GAY!!! Than we had 2 fite King Deedee 2. Wen we won I pushed Hitter of the
ege of Subspas intoo oblevyon. Now Mr Jonson was the onley hoarseman left.

Aftar Hetler was defeet we runned 2 the room were Likn was and he was stil ted up.

“Sara! U cam 2 sav me!” he sade. B4 I cold unty him I hed 2 check his butte 2 c if ther was
still supper gloo in ther I tolled Icke 2 do that and he did.

“Yep theres still supper gloo” he sed. So I cute Linl free. Jus than Satin and Barko Bama
return with the supper gloo remouver.

“stop them they r escap!” Satin sed. Than sum gay guys jumped ot and stated rapping Clod. I
new it was 2 lat 4 him so we all had 2 ran away with Libk. We managed 2 get back 2 the
Smash Manshan but we wer 2 tired 2 goto Chikfela so we ordared Pupa Jons pezza agen but
we didnt tup the delevery guy becuz that encorges lazyness 2 giv muny 2 pore pepol.
 GOALITH THE RELLY BIG EVUL GUY
Chapter Summary

Mr Jonson and Becky mak a relly big evul guy outta the DNS of the 3 ded hoarsemans

Chapter Notes

I spant anotter nite at Laurens hose lukily Laurens sister still hasnt rapped us and shes
leavin 4 collage agen 2day. Im afred that shell try 2 turn Lauren and maybe alos me into
a lesban at Laurens birthday party tho. Maybe I shod bui Lauren sum pepar sprey 4 her
birthday justen case (but that wont be her onley gift becuz im a good frend but not her
lesban luver).
Alos I dont no wy everone thinks ima slit slyts ar gurls who have sax with bois b4
marreg and iv nevar evan wanted 2 do that. Iv nevar evan wantad 2 kiss a boi b4
marrage. Also they were cloths that sho of there big sexay bobs and there buttes in ordar
2 put lesban thots in the mines of strate Christen gurls like me that we hav 2 prey 2 mak
stop.

CHAP 19: GOALITH THE RELLY BIG EVUL GUY

The naxt day Samas and Zekda and Paech and Evul Clon Sara wer having a lesban orgie in
the cafatirea of trhe Manshan.

“Stop thes” Masgter Han sed “their is a rul in the Manshan no lesban orgys in the lanchrom.”

“No we wont stop” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“Sara? Ur a lesban” Muster Hen sid.

“No im not!Q” I yalled ovar frum my table “thats Evul Clon Sara”

“U hav a evul clon” I relized noone told Mastar Hans abot Evul Clon Sara.

“Yea” I sed.

“U ned 2 tell me wen Evul Clon Sara cum to Manshan” Mister Ham saud “theres lotsa
papurwerk that neds 2 be dun whenevar theres a new smashar.”

“BUT SHES NOT A SMASHAR SHES MY EVUL CLON AND SHES LIBRUL AND A
LESBAN AND A ATHIST AND SHES TRY 2 RAP ME AND LAUREN!!!” I sed.
“I dont care we ned 2 be tolerate” Mastet Hadn sed.

“No u cant tolert the gay agend theyll tune ever1 into gays and lesbans if u dont sand them 2
prisan until they die and goto Hell” I sed.

“Stop been a homophone Sara” Mastur Hand sed.

“U r wrung!” I starmed off angerly and Lauren and Lank and Oke fellowed me. I coldnt
beleve that Master Han was been so unresinable and I hatted him so much for goin agenst
God by tuning a blond eye 2 the gay aganda. I waked passed the TV scran rome agen and
herd talken agen. I want insid and loked at the screns but Beckys fat butte tooked up half the
scren and her ginormes zits taked up the other half. She was wennin the award form the
genius book of word retards both 4 her fatness and how big her zots r. Than the award giver
persan left.

“Im vary unheppy!” Staten sed “Hitlar and Moai and Kang Jorge r all died and Lonk escape
b4 we cold turn him gay.”

“Dont wary Lord Satin” Mr Jonson sed “Me and Becky crated a new savant 4 u. His nam is
Goleth lik the big guy in the Bibal who fot Kin Daved expect this Goalith wont die frum a
slinshat becuz I spraid him with slinshat repealant.”

Suddenly a relly relly big guy waked into the rom. He was relly big and like tem fetts tall and
his mussels wer hug.

“Bloody das boot kawaii!” he sed. I new he had 2 be haf Bretash haf Germen and haf Aslan.
That cold onley meen he was mad frum the DAN of the othar 3 hoarsemans. I remambered
how scurry difecult thos 3 fits were and was vary afeared abot havin 2 fit sum1 with the
combened abiletys of all 3 of them.

“I mad him frum the DNS of Hutler and Mosey Dong and Kang Jorge the Turd alon with a
buncha othar comunits ajnd than I replased his blud with sterods so hed get relly relly big lik
he is” Mr Jonson sid.

“Wanker sourkraut banzai!” Goileth sid.

“Now Becky u must go 2 the Smash Mention and take Goaluth with u to beet up Sara and
Lauren so u can rap them” Borak Osama sed.

“OK” Becky sed. Than she and the relly big guy laft the rom. She was so fat that it was hard
4 her to fit thro the door also she coldnt see it becuz she forgat her glases becuz shes so
stooped. Mr Jonson had to leed her 2 get tham. I new I was in sirius terible if I runned into
Gouldeth.
 GOLATH CUMS ALSO BECKYS RELLY FAT
Chapter Summary

A speshul gest halps Sara bet Goaleth

Chapter Notes

Hay I hav a queston. I hav a frend nam Lara and she has a BFF Sauren and they r both
strat Christens and they lik 2 huge ech odder adn held hans but in a strate way (wich is
perfactly nomel 4 strate gurls 2 do). Butthan alova sadden last evning Lara and Sauren
were in Saurens rom doin all that an than they sidenly kised each odder on the lups.
How lung wod they hav 2 prey 4 God 2 forgave them and 4 the evul urgas 2 do that agen
2 go awey? Agen these 2 pepole im taking abot r Lara and Sauren NOT Me and Lauren
but nun of the 4 of us r lesbans.
I herd of sumthin relly cole in englush clas 2day and I thenk ill put it in thes storey now.

CHAP 20: GOLATH CUMS ALSO BECKYS RELLY FAT

The nexr day I was train with Lauren on the Finial Dissertation stag. Her lon bron hare
blewed in the brez as I starred in2 her depp bloo eys. Even tho we ABSALUTLY R NAT
LESBAN LUVERS were still BFFs so it was difecult 2 hav 2 fit her evan if it was only jus 2
trane.

Evantilly Lauren wan and we laft the aroma. Suddenly Libk runned up.

“Manshan is undar ateck!” he sad. We runned 2 the frant dore 2 the Manshan. I excepted it to
be Goleth an Becky and I was rite. The antire Manshan was shuken like an erthquack from
the wate of Goalths mussels and Beckys obasety.

Suddanly Goaleth moshed thro the frunt dor.

“Bloody blitskreeg karaty” Geliath sed.

Lonk tred 2 het Galith with his sord but was noked away. Than Ike tred that 2 but was noked
away 2. The sam thin happened wen Tin Lenk tryd that. Pit tred 2 use his heven bow but
Golsath runned ovar and knacked him unconshus. Than he knacked ot the otter Christen
smashers expect for Lauren and Me. Wen he tred 2 ran tords us 2 Becky stapped him.
“No. I went tham 2 be awak wen I rap tham. Ty tham up” Becky sed. Goalith grab sum rop
and ted Me and Lauren up.

“Sara Im gonna rap Lauren fisrt. I want u 2 hav 2 wach as ur BFF becums a lesban in luv
with me. Than Ill rap u 2” she sed.

“no stey away” Lauren sad.

Goleth waked ovar to held Lauren stil but he was suddenly shat! I loked ovar 2 were ballot
cam frum and I saw it was my bruther Josh.

“Get awey form my sistar and her frend” Josh sed. Sudanly the son Reel Amerkan by Huck
Hogen startad playen (My bruther werks ot 2 this son alot. Its anoyin sum of the tim wen im
tryen 2 do sumthin eels but the musac fils up the hose. And wen Me and Lauren r togetter 2
do normel strate girl frend thins the musac roons the mod. But thes tim its god becuz hes their
2 sav us. Also hes an ant hero wich I herd abot in englash class 2day wich mens he can do
stuf that normel heros like Me and Lauren cant).

Josh put an AR fiften undar ech arm and opaned fir on Goaleth. Wen he shat all the bulets he
throed the gans aside and garbed 2 rockette lanchers and fird the rockettes than he throed sum
groinaids. Al of this injared Goalith and scarred him away. He tred 2 shat Becky 2 but she
was so fat that the bullet just bonced of. She runned away anyway tho.

Aftar Josh unted Me and Lauren Mastar Hanes and Crapy Han flayed in.

“Wats gon on here?” Mastur Hen sed.

“I jus savd ur manshan and ur smashers u stooped glov” Josh sad.

“That was amazin” Mustard Hans sed “do u want 2 jon the smashers? Ill get tha papurwerk.”

“No I werk along” and so Josh walked ot the frant dor of the manshan “Ill cum back 2 protact
my sistar wen she neds it but I dont wanna lessen 2 anyuns authorety but Gods.”

And son Josh was gon.

 THE GUD TEECHER
Chapter Summary

Saras gud teecher cums 2 the Smush Manshan

Chapter Notes

Im starten 2 get scarred that Bjork Obema and the librul medea mite find thes storey and
mak fenfacshunnat tak it don so no im on the wating lest 4 anutter sit call archev off r on
wich ill put a bakip of this on for if the libruls remov my storey her 2 silance me I cam
contenu it their. I wilnut be sillans Brak Obuma!!!!

CHAP 21: THE GUD TEECHER

It was a fwe days latter and Josh was stil in hidan and we coldnt fine him. So I went on
anuther doble dat 2 chickfela with Lauren and Lunk and Ije. I was eetin my fod wen sudanly
a famelar persan I wasnt excepting cam and sat naxt 2 me.

“Hi Sara” she sed.

“Hi Tiffany” I sed back.

It was my englash teecher Miss Dawson but I call her Tiffany evan tho in reel life shes ben
tell me 2 stap dong that 4 moths and ses shell giv me a dameret if I doit agen. In this storey
shes ok with it tho. Shes relly patent with me evan tho I hav dislexa and wratin is hard. She
evan lets me cum in aftar scule sumtims 2 get help with wrating. I thank that mens wer
frends. I thank dislexa is a chalunge that God mad 4 me jus like he mad girls so much mor
atrective than bois so thet steying strate wodnt be 2 esy for me and id hav 2 werk at it. Im try
hard 2 overcum both chelenges so I can hav a gud life and than goto hevan. Shes also yung
and pritty 4 and smells nise. The onely bad thin is that shes engag 2 Mr Jonson of al pepole in
fact I wrot the first chaptar of this storey aftar she cam into class and telled us she was
engage. Most of the girls in my class r made abot the engagmant becuz they think Mr Jonson
is hawt 4 sum resin but hes an athist librul and hes not gud enuf 4 Tiffany.

“I jus braked up with Mr Jonson becuz hes evul” Tiffany sed.

“Cool” I sed. So we all want back 2 manshan togetter. Wen we git 2 the Manshun and Mister
Ham flewed up.
“Sara u ned 2 stap brinen new pepol her” Matter Han sed “espeshully withot dong the
paparwerk.”

“Master Hanes ur such a jurk why do u hav 2 be that wey” I siad.

“Its ok Sara” Tiffany sed “Ill do thes relly big globe thins paparwerk.”

And so Tiffany left 2 do that. I went 2 the TV scren rom agen 2 see if the evul pepol wer up 2
anythin. Mr Jonson luked sad.

“My gurlfrend braked up with me becuz im evul” he sed.

“Thats ok we shuld probebly tell Samas 2 rap her into a lesban aneway” Barick Amoeba sid.

“Yea go do thet now Becky Samas is prolly in Hom Deepo becuz shes a lesban” Satin sed.

“Ok” Becky sed “I was gon 2 goto their aneway becuz ima lesban 2. Wen Miss Dawson (shes
not god enuf frens with Tiffany 2 call her by her furst nam) is a lesban shell go bye Ms
Dawson becuz thats wat librul lesban womens do and than shell giv Sara a F and rap her.”

And so Becky laft 2 goto Hom Deepo. I was scarred agen. I had 2 protract Tiffany form
becom a lesban! Id stap her befor she got 2 Hom Depo but im strate so I didnt no were the
neerest on 2 the Manshan was and evan if I did that plaec wold sertenly be fill with 2 many
lesbans so I just had 2 protect Tiffany by stayen neer her.

I want 2 tell everone abot wat I saw. Lauren and Lenk and Icke jonned me in protect Tiffany
frum been rap by Samas.
 ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 1 THE PLANE
Chapter Summary

Sara and frends plan an asalt on Hom Deepo

Chapter Notes

B4 u read this chaptar u ned 2 her abot my frist and thenkfuly onely trep 2 Hom Deppo
in reel life. I was nin yares old and my dad piked me up from ballot class but he neded 2
stap by Hom Deepo 2 by sum stuff. He woldnt let me stya in the care becuz the
Maxekans han ot outsid of Hom Deepo and they wode give me crak and than send me 2
Mexako 2b a chilled prostatoot 4 there drig kartals. So wen I want insid I got board and
wondered awey 4 my dad. I got losed and coldnt fin my dad. Son sum woman who
werked their waked up 2 me asked me my nam and tolled me shed halp me fine my dad
but evan than I new she had 2 be a lesban if she werked at Hom Deepo and wode jus rap
me instead of leding me 2 my dad so I tolled her 2 go awey and runned of and twanty
minuets latter I fond my father. It was on of the wurst tims of my lufe.

CHAP 22: ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 1 THE PLANE

Aftar I told Lauren and Lunk and Ikd abot wat I saw in the tv scren rome I wated 4 Tiffany 2
get dun with her meetin with Mister Hanes. Wen she was dun she came outsid Mastar Hens
orifice.

“Becky iz gon 2 Hom Deepo 2 tel Samas 2 rap u” I tolled her.

“Ono” Tiffany sed “we ned 2 do sumthin”

“Dont worry” I sed “Were gonna all protact u”

“I thenk that all thes lesbans in Hoem Deppo ned 2 be delt with” Lonk sed.

“But their r 2 maney of tham their” I sed.

“Thats wy we hav 2 do sumthin” Tiffany sid “Hom Deepo is the fecal pint of all lesban
actevity in the ara.”

“Its 2 dangaros 2 try to fite tham their on there hom terf” I sed. Lauren put her han on my
shulder.
“Dont worry Sara we all belev in u” Lauren sed.

“Thank u Lauren” I smoled at her.

“So ur atecking Hom Deppo” I tuned tords the dor and Josh was their “how cani help”

“We ned a plane” I sed.

“Ill cum up with on” Tiffany sed “jus brin all the Christen smashers 2 a mating room in an
ower.”

So we wated an owar an than went 2 the meting room with all the Christen smashers. Tiffany
had a perjactor huked up 2 a commuter and than she stated shoing us her plane.

“firt of all we ned 2 splat up in2 2 teems” Tiffany sed “Ill be staying her as mishon contral
and luking at a map of Hom Deepo on the intranet to tell u were 2 go thro walkytalkys. Sara
and Josh r the teem captens and u ned 2 salect ur teem members. Sara go furst”

“I chooz Lauren” I sed.

“I chooz Master Chef” Josh sid.

“Link” I sed.

“Maryo” Josh sed.

“Icke” I sed.

“Pet” Josh sad.

“Nas” I sade.

“Lookus” Josh sed.

“Loygee” I sadi.

“Tone Lik” Josh saod.

“Sonec” I sed.

That ment Kerby went with Josh. R teems went ovar 2 us as we called tham. Than Tiffany
contenued with her plane.

“Joshs teem neds 2 fite the Mexakans outsid of Hom Deepo and than baricad the entranses 2
kep renforcments frum ariving. Saras teem will cleer ot all the lesbans frum insid the stor.
Wen that part of the misan is complet u ned 2 fined a wracking ball and destroy the stor itsalf
ons and 4 all. That well mak mist of the lesbans dispars frum the area.”

“This sonds like a plane” I sad. So we all got reddy 2 go 2 the lesban HQ an tak the fit 2
them.
 ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 2 INVASHUN OF HOM
DEEPO
Chapter Summary

Sara and frinds begun there asalt.

Chapter Notes

I feneshed shaping 4 Laurens birthday 2day. Hopfully she liks wat I gav her. I havent
talked 2 her much in reel life since Sunday but not becuz were akward abot r kiss becuz
we didnt kiss and we r strate and not lesbans.

CHAP 23: ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 2 INVASHUN OF HOM DEEPO

We all aproched Hom Deepo form a hill overloking it. The parken lot was petrol by
maxipads. They wer speckin spanush insted off inglosh becuz they wer inedible imegrunts.
Joshs teem runned don the hull 2 tham 2 get there attrition.

“kay pasta ombray” the leder of the mexakans sed wich was prolly an insalt in there luggage.

“SPECK ENGULSH!!!” Josh het the mexakan leeder in the fase. He garbed his sambaro and
threwed it lifk a frazbe at Josh but Josh bloked it with his feetbal helmut. Than Josh usd his
linbaker skills form fotball 2 tickle the Moxiecan leder. Than the rest of Joshs teem came.
They fot the Maxekuns 2. Wile my teem runned into Hom Deepo 2 fite the lesbans.

“Sara wach ot theres lesbans direct 2 ur left (becuz lesbans 2 leftwong)” I herd Tiffany say
threw my walkytalky. She was on a websat of the intranet that shoed were all the lesbans wer
in Hom Deepor and alos were I was.

I shat the lesbans that wer runnin at me a buncha tims and than Likn and Iek ranned ovar and
chipped there heeds of 2 maek shur they wer rilly ded and wodnt cum back as lesban zombis.

“Now theres lesbans hidin behind the cheekot lines” Tiffany sed. I threwed sum groinaids at
the chekoot lins and blowed up the hidan lesbans. Than we sneeked farther into Hom Deepo.

Their wer lotsa lesbans in their 4 us to fite. I used my god powars and my dads shitgun.
Lauren used marital arts (shes a blokbalt in ty kwahn doe). Lunk shat aros and boms at the
lesbans. Icke dekapitated them with his bug sord. Nas used pk fir on them and Loige did that
thin were he flays reely far with a headbutte and Sonec runned reely fat and turd into a boll.
We wer in hedcarters of lesbans tho so they kep cumin. Than Samas and Zelsa and Peacg and
Evul Clon Sara and Becky came. The othar lesbans steeped asid 2 let tham thro becuz they
wer the most impotent lesbans.

“Well well luk who came” Samas sed.

“I thot the Mexakans wod stap u” Celda sed.

“My bruther is fitting tham” I sid.

“Well than he will dye all Maxkuns hav drig kartal tranning so they no how 2 fite reel gud”
Patch saod.

“And were gunna rap u and Lauren 2 mak up 4 all the lesbans u killed b4 r massev orgi 2day”
Evul Clon Sara sed.

“And than well all go2 the Manshan and rap Miss Dawson and Mister Hanned will letus
becuz he is tolarent of r evul gay agrnda” Becky sed.

“No ill stap u” I sed.

“Ha theres onley a few of u and alota us” Becky sed “and im fat enuff 2 cont 4 lik ten pepole
wile u and Lauren r so thin and pritty and stuf.”

“But u forgat on thin I hav God on my sid” I sed.

“But were athists so we wershap Satin and dont beleve in God” Samas sed.

“And that wy u well los” I sid “wen God crated the Erth SIX THOSAND YARS AGO he
mad sur that gud wold alweys triamp ovar evul!”

“Lol ur stooped Erth is billons of yars old nut six thosand” Becky sad.

“No ur wron and u libruls r usen ur byasd carban doting 2 lye 2 the pepole and try 2 undmane
the werd of GOD!!!” I sed. I actived my finel smush and gut reedy 2 fite all the lesbans at
onse.
 ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 3 SARA CONCURS HOM
DEPPO
Chapter Summary

Sara concurs and destructs Hom Deppo ons and 4 al

Chapter Notes

Ho meny tims doi hav 2 say it IM NOT A LESBAN AND NETHER IS LAUREN and
im not in dental. Also I have anothar day of from skule on Mundy becuz of Marten
Loother Kin Day. I forgat what he ded 2 get a holaday but hes blak so he was prolly the
first MVP of the NBA or sumthin. I wondar if their will be a Lebran Jams day sumday I
liek the Mami Heet becuz they wine all the tim and sens all baskatbell tems r filed with
libruls I dont have any otter way to chooz wich tem to rout 4.

CHAP 24: ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 3 SARA CONCURS HOM DEPPO

Insanely wen I activeted my finale smish a buncha lesbans leept 2 pine me to the grond but I
mad a fors feld that disinterested them. Than I fird sum mor beems of hevanly lite that
vaparized mor lesbans. Than Peech fgarbed a chansaw frum on off the shelvs and runned at
me weth them. I graped the chansaw blad and riped the cghan of wile it was ranning and than
knacked Peech asid an she was unconshus.

Son it was cleer 2 them that I hed wone and Becky gat ot her fone and culled Satin and Derek
Obauma. Saddenly a porthole opaned up 2 Subspas.

“Hurray getin” Oibama sed. Becky and Evul Clon Sara and Samas jumps into the porthole
and Zelda tred 2 fillow them but Lonk used the cootball skills that Josh tot him 2 tackal Zelda
and the porthole closed b4 she cold get 2 it. Than Oak noked her unconshus.

“I see onlin that u nocked Peech and Zalda unconshus” Tiffany sid.

“Yea” I sed “Shud we kill them b4 they wak up”

“No. I hav an ida. Ty them up and brin them 2 my rome wen ur dun with destoryin Hom
Deppo” Tiffany sade.

“ok” I sod.
So aftar I got rod of al the lesbans that wer stil in hidden I walked outsid and Link climed into
the wreking ball masheen and destructed Hom Deepo. Aftar that was dun we hird a
consecration teem 2 build a new shaping mall there and they wold hav gards 2 mak shur gays
and lesbans didnt cum inside. Than we laft 2 retune 2 Tiffanys rom with the unconshud Zedla
and Peech. Alon the wat they waked up.

“Hey will u leyus go so wecan rap u” Zeda sed.

“No” I sed.

“But yule lik been a lesban” Peech sed “Evul Clon Sara is a lesban and shes relly hapy.”

“But shes gong 2 hell” I sade “I chooz 2 be strate 2 goto hevan.”

“U ned 2 stap lissen 2 ur parants their is no haven and Lord Staten will be nise 2 u in hell”
Zepda sad.

“No Stan is evul and ur a lyar!” I shatted “NOW SHADDAP OR ILL NOK BOTH OF U
UNCONSHUS AGEN!!!”

Tesla amd Peevh shat up. Son we retuned 2 the Manshan.

“Sara wy did u destruct Hom Deepo” Mastar Hend sed he was watting outsid the frant dore.

“Becuaz thats were all the lesbans comgragat” I sad.

“That dosent mater u ned 2 be tolerate and wy r Peech and Zelda tid up” Matter Hemp sedd.

“Becuz Tiffany wants 2 c tham in her romo” I sid.

“Why” Nastier Hen sed.

“I dont no but it sonds impotent” I sed.

“Ok but u ned tobe punash 2 destoryen Hom Deepo. So no mor maches 4 u untel I say so!”
Mastar Han flayed of.

“I cant beleve Mister Hond.

“Hes suck a stooped jurk!” Lauren sed. She huged me becuz she new I felt bad abot my unfar
punashmant. We toke Paech and Zeald 2 Tiffanys room.

“Ok there her” I sed “why dou want 2 tid up lesbans in ur room they mite brake free and rap
u.”

“Good Sara” Tiffany sed “Dont wary abot me I hav a gun and Im getin Master Chef 2 be my
armed gard (ALL SKULES SHUD HAV ARMED TEECHERS AND ARMED GARDS
BARK OBAMAS KIDS SCULE HAS THOS BUT HE DOESNT WANT ANY OTTER
SCOL 2 BECUZ HE DOESNT CAR ABOT ANY1 ELSES KIDS BUT HIS ON HE JUS
WANTS 2 TAK AWEY EVERONES GUNS). Asfor wy I ned thes to well I ned 2 test thins
on tham becuz IM GONA ADVENT A CUR 4 HOMASEXALITY!!!”
 THE SERCH 4 A CUR
Chapter Summary

Sara and Lauren halp Tiffany serch 4 a cur 2 homasexalty

Chapter Notes

Im so exited its onley 1 wek until Laurens Birthday!!! To bad Okamis secant
interrogation is on Moonday wich sorta runis the day of from scool. He didant reely win
the electron goto barackofraudodotcom to lern the TRUTH abot his VADER FROG and
wy Mutt Rambo shuld be presadent now becuz hes the 1 who relly win.

CHAP 25: THE SERCH 4 A CUR

For the naxt few days Tiffany was on the intranet loking up the cur 4 homasaxelty. Lauren
and Me helped her with thus. I was so excite becuz of the cur not becuz I neded it becuz im
alredy compliantly strate but becuz it culd help alota pepole lik Peech and Zetta and Mark
and Snopes and Kung Deedee and Clod who wer all organically Christens but wer turn gay
wile I was in the Mashon. Maryo sudanly came.

“Did u devalop a cur 4 my girlfrend Peech yet” Marik sed.

“Im nit ur gurlfrend anemone im a lesban now” Peech sed.

“Thats a no than” Maryo laft the rom disapoint.

“In ordar 2 figur ot a cur I ned 2 no wy pepole turd gay wen rapped by gays and lesbans.
Their has 2 be a resin forit” Tiffany sed “Sara and Lauren goto the librery and get as menuy
boks as u can fine.”

So Me and Lauren want 3 the libray 2 find boks abot how pepol tune gay. Mastar Hends libya
was the bigast anywere so it was harrd 2 find the rite boks we runned into Crapy Hanes.

“Do u no were ur bruther keps the boks abot why pepole turn gayu” I sed.

“Yes but he telled me not 2 toll u becuz u ned 2 be tolerate and nut try 2 chang pepole” Crazy
Hind sid.

“Ill giv u munny” I sed.

“ok ill halp u” Crazy Hung flayed of and came beck with lotsa boks that we neded I gav him
munny and leaved the rom and want beck 2 Tiffanys rome.

“Yes thes boks will halp” she sed “now I ned 2 do som reserch so brin be bak sumthin form
Chikfela.

So Me and Lauren and Luke and Ine went 2 Chikfela and got som fod and eat it and then
ordared tak ot 4 Tiffany and tolled everone wat she was dong and the pepole that werked
there gav us Tiffanys fodo 4 free becuz she was werkin on a gud claus and they sed thed halp
in aneway they cold. We brot Tiffany beck the free fod.

“I fond ot sumthin impotent” Tiffany sed “Samas and Capten Fapping wernt turn gay buy rap
butt bye govermint vaksine!”

“o yea” I remambered that.

“So we ned 2 fin the vaksine and than make it the opasit so it curs homasexelty insted off
makin pepole gay” Tiffany telled us “I ned 2 reserch this sum moar aftar I eet.”

She ate the Chikefla fod and than retuned 2 her wirk. It wuz a few days latter wen she fond ot
mor abot the vaksine.

“I hev god news and bed nesw. The gud noose is I fond ot were the vaksine is” she sed “u ned
2 get it so I can fin ot whats init so I can mak it the opasit and cur homasexality.”

“ok ill do that” I sed.

“Wats the bed news” Lauren sid.

“The bed nos is Barracks Epona keps the vaksine in a secrete rom of the wite hose naxt 2 his
planes 4 wite slavary. Its reely secrete and noone nos abot it so itll be hard 2 find and he well
try 2 stap u becuz the wite hose is were he livs” Tiffany sod “u ned 2 us steelth 2 brake in and
git the vaksine so onely bring a few pepole.”

I desided 2 brin Lauren and Fink and Uke. We hed 2 snape in2 the wite hose!
 SNEKING IN2 THE WITE HOSE
Chapter Summary

Sara invads the Wite Hose.

Chapter Notes

Hello agen everone its Sonday so I hop u all went 2 chirch. If u dont u well go2
HELL!!! I cant beleve its ben a munch sense I publashed this on Fanfectiondotnat. Tim
reely files. Thanx 2 everone who laft me gud revews in that tim!

This is my furst archev of or onw excloosev chaptar becuz Barik Oboma fond ot abot
my storey on fanfection.net

CHAP 26: SNEKING IN2 THE WITE HOSE

That nite Me and Lauren and Lank and Ice went 2 the Wite Hose in Wassinton CD. We hed 2
thank ofa plane 2 sneek insid. We want 2 the Chikfela in the city 2 talk abot r plan becuz
anewere eels wod caus libruls 2 eevsdrap onus and warned Brak Odama.

Sudanly as we were taking Guvaner Mit Ramney and Cangressmen Pal Rain and Speeker of
the Hoes Jan Boner waked in2 the restarnt.

“Hi Sara” Mott Roomie sid.

“Hi guys” I sed.

“God telled us what u wer dong and asked us 2 help u brake into the wite hose” Andrew
Ryan sed.

“Yes were also ned 2 get the planes 4 wite slavry becuz were all wite and dont wana be slavs
2 the blecks and the mixalots and the aslans” Guvanir Raimi sed.

“Cool” I sed “Tiffany sed there in the sam rom.”

“ok” Congrassmen Reyn sed.

So we all want 2 the wite hose and entred threw the front dore. Suddenly a buncha libruls
atecked us! Me and Lauren and Lkni and Iek and Rian and Boner stated fitting them. Butthan
Ramnoy pulled ot alota munny and pade the libruls to leev becuz libruls r pore and lik gettin
mony 4 noting. Than we loked 4 Barek Obsamas ovary orifice becuz that leaded 2 The
Room. Suddanly Barak Ebauma cam outta a roon wering pajamas with pictars of Lennon and
Stallion and Car Max al with harts around tham.

“Hey watter u dong in my hose!” he sed.

“Were is the vaksine that cases gayness! Tellus or well beet u up!” I sid.

Suddanly Brad Obooma puled ot a reed lifesaver! He was a Seth Lird! It was werd that he
was a librul with a red litsabar and im was a consergatev wiyh a blu lutsaber but I guess star
wares gotit moxed up.

“Go find The Room ill fit the presadent” I tolled Lauren and everone else. Than I startad
fitting Brake Obbema. We fot r way 2 the rom in the wite hose with a catwalp ovar labia.

“Giv up Sara u well loose” Ovama sed.

“No Impala I well beet u becuz God ison my sid” I saod.

“No Im gonna knak u unconshus and than get a lesban 2 rap u so ull be an evul lesban lik
Evul Clon Sara” Opana sed.

“Wy do u went everone 2 tune gay arent u strate u hav a wife” I sed. Butthan Mishell Obuma
runned in and puled don “her” paints and reveled that “she” was a MAP with a PENS!!!

“No u no the trooth” Brock Obana sed.

“But ho do u hav 2 dotters” I sed.

“In a few yars ill get sugary 2 turn my pens in2 a vegeta and than ill get preggant and giv barf
2 tham and sand them back in tim with r tim masheen” Mishell Ogama sid.

“hunny dont tell Sara abot r tim masheen!” Barek Obamuh sed “it was a gif from Lord
Saten!”

“Its ok werent u gonna defet her and find a lesban 2 rap her son aneway” Mishell Opana sed
“I want 2 tel her sumthin eels first. U mite no me by my old nam.”

Suddanly Mishell Ubama stated monwelking acros the crapwhelk.

“MIKAL JAKSAN!!!” “she” sed “I fakked my on deth and tuned mysalf blak agen and
pretanded 2 be a women so I cold mary my gay luver Bark Oabma.”

“Ull nevar git awey with thes” I sed.

“Yes we well” Barok Ohonda and Mikal Jaxun sed.

Suddanly Lauren and Lunk and Ico and Renesmee and Reyn and Boner runned passed the
dore
“we got the vaksine and the savory planes” they sed. So I jamped ovar Bork Odom and
Mikhail Jaksan and runned outta the wite hose witjh my frends. Wen we got otsid I telled
them the dark secrete I lerned.

“now giv us the planes and the vaksine and well take the vaksine 2 Tiffany and make the
planes pubic so wecan impasse Opoona and his gay luver and fail there evul planes” Rimnet
set. So we gav the planes and the vaksine 2 the tree consarvetav poletishens butt they stated
laffing evully. They riped of there musks and reveled that they werent the reel Matt Ronmey
and Pual Rany and Jan Boner atall! They were Becky and Evul Clon Sara and Goleth in
disguys!!!

“Were r the reel pepole!” I sed.

“we tarped them in Sunspas and son Barek Ibama and Mikal Jaksan will rap them and tune
them gay so thell be spys 4 the Democrat Party” Becky sed.

“We hev 2 sav tham!” Lauren sed.

“Ull hev 2 fite us firts!” Evul Clon Sara sed. She throwed the planes and the vaksine 2 Golath
who runned away with them.
 EVUL CLON SARAS FENAL SMASH
Chapter Summary

Sara defets Evul Clon Sara ones and 4 all but at wat cast.

Chapter Notes

Happy Matin Loothar Ken Day everone! And boo 4 the falsy-elacted presadents secant
inebriation! I gess Ill be rooting 4 the Revans in the supper boll becuz the 69ers r frum
Sen Frensisko so there antire teem is prolly gay. I wantad the Felkans 2 win the NCF
Champagneshap but they didnt becuz the reefs prolly were gay 2 and riged the gam.

CHAPTAR 27: EVUL CLON SARAS FENAL SMASH

“Theirs 4 of us and onely 2 of u so giv up” Lauren sed.

“And I have the powars of DOG!” I sid.

“Well I hev the powars of Saten and Adama!” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“They wont be enuf 2 beet nme” I sed.

“Yes thay well!” Evul Clon Sara sed.

“Ill fite the othars hunny” Becky gave Evul Clon Sara a discussing kis on the lisp. Lark and
Spike atecked Becky with there sords but she was so fat that they coldnt cut throo 2 her blud
vassals thro her thik layar of obasety. Lauren tred to panch her but her fist bonced of.

Meenwile I was fitting Evul Clon Sara we were evanly powared becuz she was my clon. I
new there was onely on way 2 became mor powarful than her. So I actived my finale smash!

“Ha! Now u dont steand a chans aganst me!” I sed. But Evul Clon Sara jus stated laffin. Than
she actived her finale smash 2. I didnt evan no she cold do that. Her finalle Smash mad her
gro a hole buncha wongs lik Stepharoth the evul lady form Clods gam (shes prolly a lesban
becuz ho evul she is and she has a manely vois in kindam harts 2).

“Ono” I sed. I new I was in 4 ther fit of my lief. We stated atecking each otter and I shat holly
bemas and she shat demonstrative banes. We war stall evanly powared. So I preyed 2 God 4
advise.
“Remamber! Evul Clon Sara cums form u!” God sed. Than I had a idiot. I plased my han on
Evul Clon Saras cheat and apsorbed her back in2 me! Than, b4 my finale Smash wore of I
opaned a porthole 2 Hell that suked Becky in. I new Satin wode jus let her ot agen but she
wod not have a fun tim 4 the littal bit she was their. Than my finale smash wored of and I
falled on the grond.

“Sara r u ok?” Lauren sed.

“U want 2 hav lesban sax Lauren” I herd Evul Clon Sara in my hed.

“No im strate!” I shatted.

“Wat?” Lauren sed.

“I apserbed Evul Clon Sara 2 beet her but no shes in my hed tryin 2 contral my thots and tune
me in2 a lesban!” I sed.

“Ono!” Lauren sed.

“We ned 2 fin the vaksine 2 mak a cur 4 homasexalty!” Lick sed.

“But Golath runned of with it!” Ice sad.

Suddanly Josh waked up caring Goaleths savered hed in on han and the vaksine and wite
slavry planes in the othar.

“Hi everone I saw Golith runing with these so I killed him and taked them” he sed. He saw
me wrathin in pane on the grond “wats wron with Sara?”

“RAP LAUREN MAK LAUREN UR LESBAN LUVER RAP LAUREN” Evul Clon Saras
thots flewed thro me hed. I coldnt speek (if u evar saw Lord of the Wangs Fallowshep off the
Ron wen Frollo gets stab by the cloaky badguy and colapses and they thank hell tune in2 on
of tham 2 so the girl frum Armegalodon taks hem 2 the alf town sumthin lik that is happen 2
me in this storey rite now).

“Ty... ty... me up” was all I maneged 2 get ot.

“We ned 2 tak her 2 Tiffany” Lauren sed. So they ted me up and caryed me bak 2 the
Manshan. Will Tiffany fine a cur in tim b4 Evul Clon Sara taks ovar and I becum a lesban?
Fined ot naxt tim!!!
 TIFFANY FINES THE CUR
Chapter Summary

Tiffany fines the cur and gets rad of homasexelty.

Chapter Notes

Im bak 2 scule agen. Its gud 2 c Tiffany agen but I hav 2 call her Miss Dawson in class
or shell giv me a damerit and 3 of thos is a ditenshun and my parants well be made at me
if I get on of thos. I relly lik the outfet that Tiffany wore 2day shes almos as pritty as
Lauren and shes a relly gud teecher. I wish she braked up with Mr Jonson in reel life lik
she did in my storey.

CHAP 28: TIFFANY FINES THE CUR

I spant the naxt few days in Tiffanys rome. Evul Clon Sara was sloly take ovar my mined. I
falt sinfel dasires 2 rap evary women I sawed. But I stell noed it was wron so I wasnt a
lesban. Prolly my God Powars protracted me frum lettin Evul Clon Sara complately tak ovar.
Butt I new Tiffany had 2 hury.

Evantully Tiffany came with a nedle.

“Im gonna inject this in u” she sed.

“IM GONNA RAP U!” I sed but it was relly Evul Clon Sara contralin my thots.

Master Chef ponted his trankwilezar gun at me in cas I braked free and tred 2 rap Tiffany.
Tiffany stucked the nedle in my amr and sudanly I falt a wav of putrefaction clansen my sole
of the gayness and son I was as strate as I was b4 absarbin Evul Clon Sara (complately 100
percant strate pepole!).

“It werked” I sid.

“Ok thats grate heres a presant” she pulled ot sumthin and handad it 2 me. It was a Hom
Deppo gift card.

“Ew whyd u giv me this” I throwed it on the grond.

“Becuz I had 2 mak sur it relly werked and u werent jus try 2 trik me” Tiffany sed “Unty her
Mister Chafe.”
Muster Cheef untyd me wile Tiffany injacted Peech and Zoltan with the cur 2 and tey tuned
strate agen 2.

“Yay! Were strate agen!” they sed.

“Ok now we ned 2 cur everone” I sid. Furst we fond the pepole who used 2 be consarvetiv
(March and Salted Snap and Kin Deede and Clod) and curred tham.

“Hi Sara. Sorry I was gay. Can we dat agen” Marht sed.

“Well Im daten Lunk no” I sed.

“Its ok ill dat Zeda no that shes strat agen 2” Lonk sed.

“ok” I sid.

“ok were dun no rite” Lank sed.

“No we shud do the rite thin and cur the libruls 2” Lauren sed.

So we went thro the Manshan curring all the libruls of there gayness and maken tham
consarvetev.

“Im so sorry I tred 2 rap u al thos tims lets go shaping sumday” Samas sed 2 me wen we
curred her “but 2 a gud stort not Hom Deepo.”

“I destructed Hom Deppo remamber” I sed.

“O yea” Samas sed “but theres other Hom Deepos in the wrold and I dont wanna go2 any of
tham anemor.”

Soon all of the smashars wer curred and wer on r sid.

“Saten and Oblama dont stand a chans!” I sed.

Sudanly God walked in.

“Acshully Satin figared ot what u ded and no he sumaned lotsa damons from Hell 2 gard
Subspas and there relly powarfel and stuf. U will ned everone 2 halp u sav Mit Rmoney and
Pail Rayn and Jin Boner” God sed “and I brot 3 mor allys 4 thes.”

Suddanly the 3 gratest presadents in histary waked in. They war Tomes Jafersan and Roland
Regen and Ann Rand! Tomes Jafersan wrot the constatushan and invanted freedam. Roland
Regen defeeted the comies buy knaking don all the walls in the Saviet Onion wich mad the
seelings fall on al the comansts and kill them. And Ann Rand wrot Atlus Shagged wichis the
most impotent bok evar expect 4 the Bibal.

I new we had 2 hurry if we wanted 2 sav the consarvetav polynesians frum Brock Obumeh
and Mikal Jaxan and Stan.
 SAV THE POLATESHANS
Chapter Summary

Sara and frens sav the polatishans.

Chapter Notes

Sory 4 the lat updet. I hed alota homwerk becuz Mr Jonson wants us 2 do the stuped
siens fare and the reely lon repart (lik 5 tiped pages) is doo 2morow. Also I hed anotter
tutaring season with Tiffany and she gav me sum lesions 2 do to halp with my wratin.
But thats ok becuz Tiffany is a gud teecher. Its reely cold ot I cant wate 4 the wekand
wen Ill hav Lauren 2 kep me warm (but not in a lesban way).

CHAP 29: SAV THE POLATESHANS

Everone want 2 Subspas and there was demans everwere. They atecked us. I tred 2 fite on but
it was extramely powarfel. I coldnt evan hurt it. And there was lik a tun of tham 2 fit! Wen I
actived my finale smosh I menaged 2 beet it. But there were 2 maney. And non of my allys
cold us there finale smashs withot a smash bull. I new it wold tak lik forevar 2 beet tham all
unlas their was a marakal. Lukely God is relly gud at thos. Suddanly a hole buncha smash
bills apared and all of my allys startad hetting tham until they braked. Since everone had fetal
smashs they cold fit the demins 2. And God mad them kep aparing wenevar they runned ot so
evarone cold always us theres ovar and ovar agen. Son we bet enuf demans 2 get to The
Room were Lank was kapt wen the bad guys capturd him. But the poletishans werent ther!

“Ono were r they” I sed “Samas u wer evul until just a bit ago do u no wer they r”

“No sorry” Samas sed “I was in the Manshan wen they wer captared. I dont no were they r.”

“I no wer they r!” I herd.

“Who sed that?” I sed.

“Noone sed anythen Sara” Marth sed.

“Its me Evul Clon Sara but im not evul anymor. Im still in ur mined” I herd. I gess I forgat
that Evul Clon Sara was stil in my hed becuz she was exectly lik me in evary way no so her
thots wer lik min al the tim.
“Were r they” I sed.

“Who r u telkin 2” Lauren sed.

“Its Evul Clon Sara. Shes still in my hed but shes not evul anemore becuz of the gayness cur
that Tiffany med” I sed “I gess I shuld call her Gud Clon Sara now.”

So Gud Clon Sara telled me wer the polateshuns wer and we want 2 fine tham. We excepted
2 fit Saten and Brek Obaba and Mikel Jaxon but we didant c tham anewere. Wen we got 2 the
rom with Mit Ramni and Pol Rian and Jan Boner they wer all haven gay sax! This wod have
ben a biger deel if we didant except this and bring the cur. We just injacted tham and they
retuned 2 normel.

“Thanks 4 saven us” Mut Romnoy sed.

“Ya we wer rapped in2 been gay and wer goin 2 spy 4 the demacrit party but u curred us jus
in tim” Pal Reyn sid.

“Now we can retune 2 wasintan and stap Brak Obomeh frum destructing Amerka and
enslaven all the wite pepole” Jin Boner sed.

“Cool do u no wer they want” I sed.

“Satin and Obsama and Mikel Jaxin climed in2 ther tim masheen and want back in tim 2 the
cival war” Mit Ramboy sed.

So the poletishans laft. I new we had 2 go bak and stap the villens ons and 4 all!
 THE SECRETE TIMLIN
Chapter Summary

Sara fines ot an impotent secrete abot histary.

Chapter Notes

Its onely 2 days until Laurens birthday. Im so excite! Alos ill be stayen at her hose 4 the
antire weekand. Thats alweys relly fun. I cant wate onley 1 mor day of schule!

CHAP 30: THE SECRETE TIMLIN

Aftar hering that the villens want bak in tim 2 the war of nothan agreson we retuned 2 the
Manshan 2 figur ot ho 2 fine tham 2 defet them ons and 4 al. We coldnt us there tim masheen
becuz it cum form Saten so it was prolly evul and stuf. And we didnt hav r on tim masheen.
So we wer stuk in the presant.

“Wat shuld we do Sara” Marht sed.

“I dont no I gess we shuld prey 2 God 4 advise” I sid. So we did. Than God walked in2 the
Manshan.

“U want 2 go bak in tim 2 defet Satin and Berk Abomo and Mikel Jaxun?” God sed.

“Yes” I sed.

“Ok Ill giv u a tim masheen” he sed “but first I ned 2 tell u sumthins.”

“Wat God?” I sad.

“I wasnt complately honest abot why I sant u to the Smash Manshun. I wanted u 2 defet Stan
2 kep him from doen evul thins in this uneverse I sed. But theres mor than thet.”

“Wat?” Lauren sed.

“This isnt the reel timlin” God sed “al of the mammaries in ur lif r fake. Barak Obams alredy
want bak in tim and chaned the passed with a tim masheen he got buy maken a deel with
Saten.”

“Wat reely hapaned?” I sed.

“Oreganally the Soth wan the cival war butthen Barek Omaba went bak in tim 2 chang it so
hed be presadent instad of a slav” God sed.

“So Obomas 2 blam 4 all the carpatbagers in reconstitution ear and the fact that the soth has 2
lissen 2 yanky libruls in the presant” I sed.

“Thats rite” God sed.

“We ned 2 go bak 2 chang the timlin back 2 nromel so tjhat the soth can ris agen!” I sed.

“Thats why I relly sant u 2 the Nentendo wrold so that u cold fined al thes ot” God sid.

I wuz so mad this was low evan 4 Obamuh. The soth was saposed 2 win the war of nortern
agresion but they didnt and it was all Obamehs falt! I new I hed 2 go bak in tim and chang
this.

“We ned 2 go bak in tim an chna thes!” I sed.

“I agree” Lauren sed.

“ok” Mark sid. All the Smashers agred 2.

“Ok I ned 2 mak u a tim masheen” so god snaped his figars and a tim masheen apeared that
was big enuf 2 fit everon insid. I het the baton that mad us go bak 2 the cival war. Than wen I
got ot of the masheen and luked arond it werked! We wer in the midal of a confadarat armey
camp. Suddanly a old guy walked up wering a gray unefrom I alredy new who he was but he
introdused himsalf aneway.

“Hi miss Im Genital Robarty Li” He sed “and im the leder of the confedarat armey duren the
war of northarn egression.”
 TEH WAR OFF NORTON REGRESSION
Chapter Summary

Sara and frends jon the Confaderat Armey.

Chapter Notes

2moro is Laurens birtday so their wel be a speshul treet 4 u pepole. Lauren wrot a
chaptat of this storey and ill put it her. Laurens chaptar taks plase duren this on so the
excitin clifhangar that this chap endz on wont be resalvd intil sonday. Im sad 2 say that
thes storey is almost ovar. Chaptar 35 is gonna be the last chap. So stay tund 4 the epac
concussion! My fanes will hav 2 fined sumthin eels to reed aftar that I rekamend the
Bibal and Atlus Shagged both of thos boks r as gud and wel-writan as this storey an sois
Twilit so maybe u can red that 2.

CHAP 31: TEH WAR OFF NORTON REGRESSION

“So im of 2 fite the battal of geticeberg” Genital Li sed “who wans 2 cum with me”

“I do” I sed.

“Sorry but no womans alod in the miltry yet” Genital Li sid. I forgat abot that. All of the
smashers who wer duds war alod 2 joyn the confaderat army and so cold Samas becuz she
was wering her armoire so noone cold tel she was a women. But Lauren and Me and Zalda
and Patch and Jigalopuff and the gurl Ike Climer werent alod in the miltray. Nomely that
wode be gud becuz a womans plas is at hom not at the battalfeld but I neded 2 be the on 2
defet Satin and Oboema and Mikhail Jaxun. So Me and Lauren and the otter gurls waked
away and came back wering fak moosetouches.

“Hi who r yall” Genital Li saif.

“We r manely mans and we want 2 jon ur armey” I sed.

“Wats ur nam” Genital Li siad.

“Sara” I sed.

“Bit Saras a gurl nam” Genital Li sod.

“Yea but this is a difrant tim I men theres a dud namd ashley in gong of the win so wy cant
their be a dud namd Sara” I sed.

“I c ur pint” Genital Li sed “but im stil nut convansed I men u lok lik a buncha gurls in fak
mostuches. Their neds 2 be a taste. Wy dont u nam al the NFL teems.”

I new sum of the NFL teems but not al of tham soi got ot my ifone and loked it up. I tolled
the nams 2 Genital Li.

“Thats rite and the ifone hasnt ben invanted yet soi dont no wat that is ur holden. R fones can
onely cal pepole and sand taxt massages and picturs u cant go onlin on tham. Alos the onely
intranet we hav is dallup lik at ur grandmas hose so I dont thank its possabal 2 get the info
onlin that fasst” Genital Li sad.

“Ur faseboks must tak 4evar 2 lode” I sed.

“Fasebok hasnt ben invanted yet ether we stil us myspas in this tim. It taks evan lunger tho
becuz everon has musac on ther profils tho” Genital Li sid.

“Do u hav Taylar Swuft on ur profel” I sed.

Genital Li shuck his hed and sad “she hasnt ben borne yet. Mos of us lissen 2 Willy Nalson
and Meral Hagerd and Charly Danels and Jony Cahs.”

“There al gud 2 4 a buncha old guys” I sed.

“Ok enuf talken we ned 2 get 2 geticeberg 2 fit the yankys” Genital Li sad. So we al stated
marchin. We marthed 4 a few dais (this is the patr that Laurens chaptar taks plas duren) b4 we
runned into sum1.

“Prepair 2 dye sothern skum!” We herd. We loked arond an sawed GENITAL USELESS
GRUNT AND THE ANTIRE YANKY ARMEY!!! The battal of getyzbirg was abot 2 began!
Expect this tim I had 2 halp the Soth win in order 2 win the war lik there suposed 2.
 The Bonds of Friendship
Chapter Summary

Guest Chapter! Lauren reflects on her close friendship with Sara.

Chapter Notes

Hi! Lauren here! This is my chapter of my BFF Sara's fanfic. I decided to post this
before anyone gets here for my party (except for Sara, who stayed the night). I have
never written fanfiction before, so I don't know if this will be good or not. I asked to
write this chapter because I want to tell y'all about the real Sara. The Sara I know, the
Sara when we're alone together, is a kind, beautiful girl.
Also, Sara wants me to remind y'all that we're NOT a lesbian couple ;). Also, that was
just a semicolon and a parentheses. Pay no attention to the wink that it wasn't. I just like
to put random punctuation at the end of my sentences sometimes. Yeah. Look, here's a
hashtag and one of those “and” things that I forget the name of: #&.
Now, here is my chapter. It's set the night before the end of the last chapter. I'll leave the
battle with the Northerners to Sara herself. Also, it's from my point-of-view instead of
Sara's.

Hi, It's Lauren again, coming to edit this chapter I wrote over a year and a half ago. Sara
got her account back from when I got in last time to put an end to her Attack on Titan
story... and immediately changed the password back to what it was before, and said that
she did that in the first chapter of her new story. I'd change the password and lock her
out again, but that would just lead to her bothering me more. I'm sorry for selfishly
allowing Sara to write more of her new story just so that I don't have to deal with her in
real life. I can say I'm really embarrassed by this chapter. I just want to tell you to ignore
everything good I say about Sara in here. She is a horrible person. I was blinded by love
when I wrote this (Yes, we were dating when Sara wrote this. Sara and I are lesbians,
even though Sara still denies it. But if you got this far in the story, I'm sure you figured
that out already. We broke up about six months or so after this story ended). If any of the
people doing commentaries on this story are reading this (both the written commentaries
all over the internet and the dramatic readings on Youtube), you are awesome. And be
sure to have barf bags at the ready so you have something to puke into when you read
this chapter. I know I need one. And, Sara, calling me dumb and making fun of my new
girlfriend's nose is not going to get me back. Deal with it. It's August 30, 2014 at about
9:45 PM in my time zone, so just compare that to what time it is when you're reading it
and you'll know how long my edit has been here without Sara noticing.
 CHAPTER 32: THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

I waited inside our tent for Sara to arrive, for the stench of sweaty men with 1860s bathing
standards that wafted over the encampment to be gone, replaced by Sara's sweet aroma of a
summer's day in a field of flowers. As she entered, I looked up, and I got lost in her azure
orbs as I have many times before. Her long, golden locks flowed down her back in waves,
like a field in the fall ready for harvest. She smiled at me, which was like spring coming to
her face, though it revealed teeth as white and perfect as a winter's snow. She was the best of
all four seasons in one very beautiful girl.

She sat down next to me and we held each others hands. I loved to feel the softness of her
skin the color of porcelain that reminded me of the elegance of the vampires in Twilight.
(One more added note for Past-Me: Twilight sucks, watch Hunger Games instead. Or wait
until Guardians of the Galaxy comes out. That's a great movie) My skin was darker than hers.
To the untrained eye, it appeared that I merely had a tan. However, it actually revealed the
truth of my ancestry. My biological father, who died in a car crash when I was just one year
old, was half-black. It was common knowledge that the man that my mother was married to
was actually my stepfather and that my real father was dead, but my real father's race was
known only to a select few people in our hometown in South Carolina. If Sara's parents or
older brother knew that I was one quarter African-American, they would never allow Sara
and myself to associate with one another. Sara's mother would not even allow my mother into
their Bible study if they knew that her childrens' father was half-black. Sara knew the truth,
however, and our very close friendship continued to thrive despite it. I new that Sara's
occasional seemingly racist statements were nothing but a desperate attempt to earn the love
and respect of her parents, not a reflection of her own deeply-held beliefs.

“I know I should probably be spending some time with Marth, but...” Sara whispered to me.

“You don't love him, do you?” I got close to her face to whisper back, getting lost in her
pleasing olfactory sensation. She shook her head. Her beautiful smile went back into hiding.

“I didn't really love Link or Cloud either. You know that. I mean, Link and Cloud are both
legendary heroes with a lot of battle experience and Marth is a fricking PRINCE. I figure if I
bring a guy like that home...” Sara stated.

“It's your parents, isn't it?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.

“It's just that... I want them to remember they have a daughter, not just a house pet who they
have to give money to sometimes. It's always 'Josh this' and 'Josh that' with them. 'Josh made
the varsity football team as a freshman!' 'Josh caught a pick-six to defeat our school's rival
and take our team to the playoffs!' 'Josh is dating the Homecoming Queen!' 'Josh got a
scholarship to some random Division III school that's TOTALLY going to lead to him
becoming the Great White Hope of the NFL, and South Carolina and Alabama and Michigan
and all those other schools that turned him down are going to be sorry!' I just want them to
say something like 'Sara is dating the Prince of Altea',” Sara spoke.

“If you want to know the truth, I don't really love Ike either. I'm only dating him to give us an
excuse for all those double dates. To spend more time with you,” I admitted. Plus, I was
pretty certain that Ike was gay for that Soren guy from his game, but I left that part out.
“I know,” Sara nodded. We talked together for what seemed like just a few more minutes, but
was really several hours. When I got out my phone to check the time, I was shocked.

“According to what I learned in history class, the Battle of Gettysburg is supposed to start
tomorrow... er, today since it's after midnight,” I stated frantically, “we should really get some
sleep.”

I wondered if the influence of time travelers again was going to change anything, like making
Ulysses Grant the commander of the Yankee forces here instead of George Meade. I decided
not to dwell on it though.

“Good night, Lauren,” Sara said. I kissed her on the forehead.

“Good night, Sara,” I said. We both laid down to sleep.

THE FANIL BATTOL PART 1 THE BATTAL OF GETZBARG
Chapter Summary

Sara begans the fit agenst the yankys.

Chapter Notes

Im back pepole and reddy 2 writ the fenal 3 chaptars of this storey. Tahnks 2 Lauren 4
writen the last chaptar (I dont no why everone thinks ther was sumthin lesban abot it ur
relly reechen 2 try to mak me a lesban 4 ur sik pervart fantesys). U r so smart Lauren u
shod be an auther sumday. Luv ya gurl (as a frend were not lesbans)!

CHAP 33: THE FANIL BATTOL PART 1 THE BATTAL OF GETZBARG

“MWAHAHA WELL DEFET U SOTHARN SKUM AND END UR STAT RITES IN THE
NAM OF SATIN!!!” Grint sed.

“No u wont” Genital Li sad. Butthan Grunt fird lighting at Gentle Li. Than he paled ot a
litsabur.

“Beet u wernt excepting this!” he sed “Derek Obaba tot me 2 be a Seth Lard the firts tim he
want bak in tim!”

I new that Genital Li was no mach 4 a Seth rite now so I throed him my litsaver.

“Catch” I sed.

“ok” so Genital Li cot my lifesaver and actived it. Than their was a litsabur dool betwine the
2 of tham but I had 2 fit othar yanky solders. Me and Lauren and the Smashers and the
Confadaret solders were all buzy with the battal. I puled ot my dads shitgun and shat a
buncha yankys and they ded. But their wer so maney of tham. Their wer moar cumin every
secant!

“how do tehy hav so maney solders!” I sed.

Than I relized sumthin. Maney of the yanky solders wer reely demans disgusted as pepole!
They didnt dye frum my shitgun so I hed 2 active my finale smush. The ones who reely wer
humens ded pritty esly frum my finale smash but the denims tok lunger. It was a reely lon
battal but it quakly becam cleer that the soth was gon 2 win. I saw Genital Li jam pup and
driv my litsaber thro Useless Grunts hart.

“I surrandar!” Gront sed as jhe dyed. I puled ot a fefty dolar boll frum nye wallot and saw
Useless Grunts fase vanash frum it and be replac by Genital Robarty Lis. The rast of the
yankys runed away becuz they new they wer defet.

“Loks lik we wine the war” Genital Li sed.

“NUT SO FASST!!!” I loked around and I sawed Barok Obana and Mikhal Jaxan and with
tham was
Abrohim Linkin!

“U well nevar stap us” Linkin sad.

“I alweys wondared how u cold be such an evul jerk and a tirant diktater if ur a Republeken”
I sed.

“Ha! Im relly a librul I onely pretanded 2 be a Republeken so that conservatevs wod loose in
the Soth!” Linkin siad “and u cant defet me Sara!”

“I well defet u and restor the reel timlin!”

“Ha!” Linkin sed “no u wont”

“Yes she will!” Lauren sed.

“I beleve in u Sara!” Genital Li sed.

“U can doit!” Mark sed.

“Yea!” Icke sed.

“Kick Linkins butte Sara!” Link sid.

“Uv cum 2 far 2 fale no!” Clod sed.

“U can sav the wrold!” Snack sad.

“Its alup 2 u!” Samas sed.

“Weve sen u do so much in such a sort tim!” Master Chef sed.

“Yea. We no u can won this fit!” Peech sed.

The rast of the Smashers sad gud thins 2 encorge me 2. I felt much beeter.

“O lok at that u think u can beet me. Its tim u new the trooth!” Suddanly Linkin puled of his
mask the reveled that he was riley STAN THE HOLE TIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 THE FENAL BATTOL PART 2 SARA VERSES STAN
Chapter Summary

Sara fits Satin 4 the fenal battal of the storye

Chapter Notes

I cant beleve that thes is alreedy the secant lust chaptar! Will Sara beet Saten and sav the
wrold or wil evul win and al that bad stuf? Ur abot to fine ot! Than stey tooned 2moro 4
the epac concussion 2 this epac storey!

CHAP 34: THE FENAL BATTOL PART 2 SARA VERSES STAN

Satin ponted his patchferk at me and tred to stag me to deth but I dogged it and panched him
in the fake. Than I tred 2 panch him agen but he knacked my fis asid with his hors.

Meenwile Lauren was fitting Brak Obema and Marth wos fitting Mikal Jaxun and everone
eels was fitting sum demans that Satin brot withim so noone was abal 2 halp me. I was al
alon in my fite with Saten.

Suddanly Saten started gloing lik he had smashed a smesh ball. Than I relized that he cold
use his finale smosh withot on jus lik me! His fenal smash cussed him 2 opan a porthole 2
Hell in the groind that I almos felled in2. Than a buncha demans cam ot of it and I hed 2 fite
tham at the sam tim as Stan! I new I hed to activat my on finale smash. So I menage 2 killed
all the denims but Satin himslef survivde the finale smash becuz he was the most powarfel
villen evar.

“Sara cache!” Genital Li throed my litsaber bak 2 me. I drew it and strated fitting Saten with
it. He alos throed Grunts litsabur so I dool-welded tham 1 in eech han. Satin tred 2 stab me
with his patchforc agen but I slised it in haf!

“Ono” Saten sed.

“Giv up Satin! U no evul wil nevar win!” I sid.

“NEVAR!!!” Stan sade. He leaped at me butt I dogged and I useed my 2 litsaburs 2 chap
Satins hed of!
“NO!!!” Brak Obamug sed. He runned ovar and tred to reviv Satin with CPR but it was
fortanetly 2 lat. Satin was ded!

“Yay!” I sed. Evaryon began celibating the victary in the battol and Brock Obomo and Mikal
Jaxan had 2 rune away. Suddanly evrythin stated been in slo moshun and everythin begun 2
fad to wite. Lauren runned ovar 2 me.

“We ded it!” she sad. But than she was gon 2. I was al alon in a wite rome. Than God wanked
up.

“Well dun Sara!” God sed “u killed Satin ons and feral! No the wrold is sav aand theris no
mor evul!”

“And is the timloin bak 2 nomel?” I sed.

“Yes” God sed “withot Satins leedership that nords wer no mach for the sooth. And everone
eels is saf.”

“Wat abot Lauren” I sed. I was kinda worred that she mite be a slav in the new timlin.

“Shes saf 2. And shes not a slav shell tell u mor wen u wake up in the fuxed timlin” God sed.
Suddanly God walked away agen and evrythin stated to fad agen. My mishon was finally
ovar and the evul was defeet. No it was tim 2 c the wrold I had repared form the damag that
Osbama cassed 2 it. I closde my eyes and git reedy 2 opan tham agen.
 THE GRADN CONCUSSION
Chapter Summary

The storey cums 2 an end and everthin is gud.

Chapter Notes

I cant beleve that aftar almos sex weaks of writen im fenally dun with my storey! Id lik
2 tahnk everone who sad gud thins both on fanficshun.nat and on archevofaron.orgy. Its
tim 4 u to get the rewad 4 ur reeding: the and of the storey whichis prolly the beast endin
evar. I thank this storey well godon in histary lik the Bibal and Atlus Shagged and Twilit
as on of the best boks evar writen expect this on isnt a bok its on the intranet. On day ill
be the presadent and thes storey well be in my mooseum and ill mak everone in my
adminstraton red it so theyll no my valus.

CHAP 35: THE GRADN CONCUSSION

I waked up in a fansy bad in a fnasy rom that loked lik a rome in an old platashon hose. I got
outta bad and saw that I was wering a relly pritty fansy dres lik wat womens werd in the
passed tims of the war of norton agresion. I loked arond and sawed that Lauren was in bad
with me. She was wering a fansy dres 2 and she loked relly pritty init.

“Lauren wake up do u remamber everthin” I sed.

“Yea” she sid “loks lik we chaned tim. Hopfully that dosent men ima slav now.”

“God sade u werent and he cant be ron. Evan if he sad u wer u wode be my slav and id jus
free u rite away” I sade.

“Thanks” Lauren sed “o I remamber no in thes timlin my reel dads mastar fred him than he
marred my moter and hes alos stell aliv now.”

“Tahts cool” I sed.

So Lauren and Me waked ovar 2 the widow and loked outsid. We saw Bareck Obema and
Mikhal Jaxun picken coton in the felds of my platashon. Mr Jonson and Becky wer my slavs
2 evan tho their wite (c is that rasest?) Becky wasnt as fat becuz she had 2 do hard werk al
thje tim but she was stil uglay.
“Mak sur 2 wipe thos 4 alot” I tolled the overseers who were Mart and Clod and Limk! In
thes timlin they lived in thes uneverse insted off vido gams.

Me and Lauren went donstars 2 the foyur of my planteshun manshon becuz there was a nok
on the dore. I opaned the dor and their was Sarah Palen!

“Hi Sara!” she sad.

“Hi Sarah!” I sed.

“Is Juston reedy 2 go2 Rihcmand yet?” Sarah Palan sid “we dont wanna be lat 4 r
inebriation!”

“What do u men?” I sed.

“Dont u remamber I wan the electron so im gonna be swarn in as presadant of the Confedrat
Stats of Amurka and ur husband is my vise presadent” Sarah Pelan sed.

Suddenly Juston Beebur waked don frum anotter part of upstars.

“Sorry I jus waked up” he sad “Im reedy tho.”

He walk up 2 me.

“U lok grate hunny” he kised me on the check (c how cani be a lesban if I hav a hubsand?).

Than suddanly I got bak sum mammaries frum the reel timlin b4 Oboma chaned it. Sarah
Palen wan the 2012 Confedrat elecshan and Juston Beebur was her vise presadent. Also he
was my hubbard.

“Hurry up we cant be lat 4 the inebriation!” Sarah Palon sed “Todds alredy wating in the car.”

So Sarah Palen and Juston Beebur waked ot to the car I stayed a few secants with Lauren.

“Gud lok in Richmun” Lauren sed.

“Do u reely thank ill leve withot u. Cum on!” I sed. Lauren tok my han and I led her 2 the
car. I got reedy 4 my new lif as the wif of the vise presadent.

THE AND
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