A Teenage Christmas Carol

(The cast stand in a straight line, facing front.)

Narrator 1:
We all know the famous tale
Told this time of year
Of a nasty man, Ebeneezer Scrooge
And his lack of Christmas cheer.
Narrator 2:
Of how he hated all things good,
And chose to live his life
Spurning what was nice in folk
And celebrating strife.
Narrator 3:
But do you know the other tale?
If you don't, you really oughta.（ought to.）
The story we will tell you now
Is of Scrooge's great-granddaughter.
(Amelia Scrooge steps forward.)
Narrator 4:
Her name was Amelia Scrooge
She really was a bore.
A nastier girl you'll never meet
This side of the M4.
Narrator 5:
Her insults and her curses
Would make a grown man howl
Her manner and her character
Were worse than Simon Cowell.
(Amelia walks across the stage, in front of the line.)
Urchin 1:
Merry Christmas Miss Scrooge!
Amelia:
Whatever.
Urchin 2:
Happy New Year Miss Scrooge!
Amelia:
D'ya, fink, I'm bovvered?
Narrator 6:
And so she carried on her life Being mean to all she saw,
Until one Christmas all that changed And she was cruel no more.
(Amelia sits on a chair at the end of the line, talking on her
mobile.)
Amelia:
I just hate Christmas... Thank goodness it's only once a year... I mean,
imagine all this niceness all year round. Urgh... Well, I hope you're not
expecting a present from me.
(A pause.)
Amelia:
All right, bye Mum.
(A Charity Worker steps forward, rattling a collecting tin.)
Amelia:
What do you want? You're not spreading Christmas cheer, are you? | hate
Christmas cheer.
Charity Worker:
No, I'm trying to raise money for the Madagascan Glow Worm. Amelia:
You what?
Charity Worker:
The Madagascan Glow Worm. Did you know there are only twelve breeding
pairs left in the world?
Amelia:
Whatever...
Charity Worker:
We estimate it could be extinct in three years.
Amelia:
Do I look bovvered?
Charity Worker:
What?
Amelia:
Look at my face. Does it look bovvered?
Charity Worker:
Well,if that's your attitude.
Amelia:
Yeah,it is actually. What do I care about some stupid worm? What do I care
about you? What do I care about anything? (She sings,childishly) La la la la
not listening.
Charity Worker:
How dare you.I hope you have a miserable Christmas.
Amelia:
That's the most sensible thing you've said so far. And a miserable
Christmas to you,too.
Charity Worker:
No. In fact, I take that back. I hope that, tonight, you learn the true
meaning of Christmas.
Amelia:
Oh, please. Get a life.
(The charity worker turns to the audience as Amelia pulls a blanket over
herself)
Charity Worker:
And so Amelia went to bed
But tossed and turned all night.
And on the stroke of midnight
Woke up with a fright.
(The ghost of Christmas Past steps forward.)

Narrator 7:
There in the room at the foot of her bed
Stood a man all dressed in red.
A long beard grew upon his chin
And a wreath lay on his head.
Narrator 8:
But Father Christmas this was not
And when he spoke at last,
It was with a voice all filled with dread-
Ghost 1:
I'm the ghost of Christmas Past.
Amelia:
You're the what? Ere, how did you get into my room.
Ghost 1:
I am the ghost of Christmas Past.
And I've come to teach you a lesson.
You are lacking in Christmas Cheer-
Amelia:
Oh, don't you start? You don't know that Charity Worker do you?
Ghost 1:
Come with me to see your past.
Amelia:
Who are you, Doctor Who?
Ghost 1:
(Beckons, sinister) Come,come! (Amelia joins him.)
Amelia:
Now what?
(The ghost makes a strange, wavy movement with his hands and begins to
sway. He emits a strange, spooky sound.)
Amelia:
Err, what are you doing, weirdo?
Ghost 1:
It's a flashback. You have to join in.
(Amelia does so. Mr. & Mrs. Scrooge come to center, someone on their
knees sticks their thumb in their mouth and becomes the baby Amelia.
The flashback effect stops.)
Amelia:
Who are they?
Ghost 1:
Watch.
Mr. Scrooge:
Ah, ain't she lovely? My perfect little girl.
Amelia:
Eh! That's my Mum and Dad.
Mrs Scrooge:
What are we gonna call her?
Mr. Scrooge:
Err, what about Tom?
Mrs. Scrooge:
That's a boy's name, you chump.
Mr. Scrooge:
Bernard?
Amelia:
Then that must be me. Oh, wasn't I a lovely baby?
Mrs. Scrooge:
I know. We'll call her Amelia Scrooge. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
Mummy's little favorite. Oh, Mr. Scrooge, what could possibly go wrong?
Baby:
Oi! What sort of name is Amelia? It's a soft name. And stop cuddling me, I
can't stand all that lovey-dovey stuff.
Mr Scrooge:
Oh, she doesn't mean it.
Baby:
And you can leave me alone, an all. You stink!
Mr Scrooge:
Oh, what a horrible child.
(The Ghost starts his flashback effect again. Amelia joins in as the Scrooge
family exits.)
Amelia:
We're back. So, what was all that about?
Ghost 1:
A lesson. It always pays to be nice. And respect your elders.
Amelia:
That was two lessons.
Ghost 1:
I meant two.
Amelia:
Yeah, whatever. You can go now.
(The ghost exits as Amelia climbs back into her 'bed'.)
Narrator 8:
And so she went straight back to bed
But only slept till one.
For then there came a bang so loud
It might have been a gun.
(The Ghost of Christmas Present steps forward.)
Amelia:
What was that? Oh, what now?
Ghost 2:
I am the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Amelia:
Oh, great I love presents.
Ghost 2:
Not that sort of present. Come with me. (Amelia joins him.)
Amelia:
It's all right, I know. (She starts the flashback effect.)
Ghost 2:
What are you doing?
Amelia:
It's a flashback.
Ghost 2:
But we're not going anywhere. Except outside.
Amelia:
Oh. Sorry.
Ghost 2:
Come, come!(He beckons, sinister)
Amelia:
Well, you're a barrel of laughs, you are.
(A father, mother, and child step forward. Amelia and the ghost look on.)
Timmy:
Mummy, Daddy, why have you got me up so late? It's one o'clock in the
morning!
Father:
(Awkwardly) Look, Timmy, I'm afraid we haven't been able to get you a
present this year.
Mother:
Your father and I have saved all year, but we only have enough money for
a turkey leg between us. And no presents.
Father:
What little money we had left. we gave to a nice young lady who was
trying to save the Madagascan Glow Worm.
(The whole cast turn to look accusingly at the Charity Worker in her place
in the line.)
Timmy:
That’s all right. Mummy. Daddy. You’ve already given me the best present I
could
Mother
And what’s that?
Timmy:
Your love.
(The whole cast say ‘Ahh’ as the family strike a sickly family pose. Except
Amelia.)
Amelia:
Yeuchl Get me a bucket.
(The ghost leads her back to her room.)
Amelia:
So what was all that about. Spooky?
Ghost 2: A lesson. Love is all you need. Be happy with what you have.
And always respect your elders.
Amelia:
That’s three lessons.
Ghost 2:
I meant three.
Amelia:
Whatever. Bye.
(She waves sarcastically as the ghost retreats.)
Narrator 9:
And so Amelia went back to bed But later, at about two
The window opened by itself And in a chill wind blew.
(The Ghost of Christmas Future steps forward.)
Amelia:
‘Ere. what’s that window doing open? There’s a terrible draught
(She gets up and bumps into the ghost.)
Ghost 3:
I am the Ghost of -
Amelia:
Christmas Future?
Ghost 3:
How d’you know that?
Amelia:
Just a wild stab in the dark Which is what you’ll be getting if you don’t get
on with it.
Ghost 3:
Come! Come!
(He starts waving his hands.)
Amelia:
Oh. here we go again.
(She joins in. The cast arrange themselves as if around a grave. A vicar
speaks.)
Vicar
Usually, at a funeral it’s customary to say something nice about the
Amelia:
Then we’re in the future?
Grandad?
Deceased.
Would anyone care to say a few words?
(The cast look to each other.)
Vicar
Anything nice?
(They look around them. No one has anything nice to say.)
Amelia:
What is this? The past? Who’s dead? Dad?
Ghost 3:
I am the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Amelia:
So you said. but —
Ghost 3:
I am the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Amelia:
Change the record. Hang on. The Ghost of Christmas Future?
(The Ghost nods.)
Amelia:
(The Ghost nods.)
Amelia:
So who’s being buried?
Vicar.
Amelia Scrooge was a nasty girl. Never a kind word, never a kind look. No
good deed was ever knowingly done by her, no charity came from her. In
fact, I think it is safe to say. we’re rather glad she’s gone.
All:
Hear, hear!
Amelia:
What? No! That can’t be right. You, Timmy! Remember when I lent you
my.... (he turns away) No. I didn’t. did I? Mum. remember when I helped
you with the.. (She turns away) Oh. it doesn’t matter. You’re right I’ve
never been any good to anybody. No wonder they’re pleased to see me
gone. Take me home. Ghost. I’ve seen enough

(As the ghost leads her home, Narrator 10 steps forward.)

Narrator 10:
And so Amelia learnt her lesson.
Always be good to others.
Be cheerful. thoughtful and be kind
Especially to your mothers.
Amelia:
That’s four lessons
Narrator 10:
I meant four.
(Amelia puts herself to bed as the cast begins to sing ‘We wish you a
merry
Christmas’. When they finish, Amelia gets up.)
Amelia:
It’s the morning! Its Christmas morning! Right.
(She runs down the line of the cast, stopping at the relevant characters
she meets.)
Amelia:
Hey Timmy! I hear you didn’t get any presents. Have my Tamagotchi!
Timmy:
Wow, thanks Amelia You’re cool!
Amelia:
Hi, Mum. Hi. Dad Fancy coming round for Christmas lunch? You could
stay all day.
Mrs Scrooge:
Shall we bring anything?
Amelia:
Just yourselves!
(She moves on.)
Amelia:
Hey, Charity Worker.
About that Madagascan Glow Worm. What if I do a sponsored walk on
Boxing Day? Let’s raise some money!
Charity Worker.
That would be great Merry Christmas!
(Amelia stops.)

Amelia:
What did you say?
Charity Worker
I said Merry Christmas
Timmy:
Yeah. Merry Christmas Amelia
Mother & Father:
Merry Christmas.
(The whole cast join in.)
All:
Merry Christmas!
Amelia:
They like me. They like me! Merry Christmas to all! You’re all invited back
to mine! Come on!
(As she leads them to her house)
Narrator 11:
And so Amelia changed indeed,
The dove of peace above her hovered
And never more was she heard to say:
Amelia:
Whatever! D’ya fink I’m bowered?
(Curtain.)