Day. Date.

TED
YTT Asking for Michele
weakness
help is L.
a strength,
Sullivan: not a

We all have milestones in life that we remember so vividly. The first

one for me was when I was entering kindergarten. My big brother
was in school, and by golly, it was my time. And I went trottin' down
that hallway. I was so excited, I almost wet myself. And I go to the
door, and there was the teacher with a warm welcome, and she took
me into the classroom, showed me my little cubbyhole -- we all
remember those little cubbyholes, don't we -- and we put our stuff in
there. And then she said, "Go over to the circle and play with the
kids until class starts." So I went over there and plopped down like I
owned the place, and I'm playing, and all of a sudden, the boy next
to me, he was wearing a white shirt with blue shorts. I remember it
like it was yesterday. Suddenly he stopped playing and he said,
"Why are you so short?" And I just kept playing. I didn't think he was
talking to me.

And so we played, and about a minute later, the girl next to him, in a
white shirt, stood up, put her hands on her hips, and said, "why do
you look so different?" And I went, "What are you talking about? I
don't look different. Again, let's just play."

So all the confidence that I went in with that morning was withering
away as the morning went on and the questions kept coming. And at
the end of the morning, before I went home, the teacher had us in a
circle, and I actually found myself outside of the circle. I couldn't
look at anybody. I could not understand what just happened.

And over the next few years, I hated to go out in public. I felt every
stare, every giggle, every pointed finger, not the finger, but every
pointed finger, and I hated it. I would hide behind my parents' legs
like nobody could see me. And as a child, you can't understand
another child's curiosity, nor an adult's ignorance. It became very
apparent to me that the real world was not built for someone of my
size, both literally or figuratively.

And so I have no anonymity, as you can probably tell, and while you
can see my size, we all go through many challenges through our
lifetime. And some you can see, like mine. Most you can't. You can't
tell if someone's dealing with a mental illness, or they're struggling
with their gender identity, they're caring for an aging parent, they're
having financial difficulty. You can't see that kind of stuff. So while
you can see one of my challenges is my size, seeing does not mean
you understand what it's truly to be me on a daily basis, or what I go
through. And so I'm here to debunk a myth. I do not believe you can
walk in someone else's shoes, and because of that, we must adopt a
new way of giving of ourselves. Simply stated, I will never know
what it's like to be you and you will never know what it's like to be
me. I cannot face your fears or chase your dreams, and you can't do
that for me, but we can be supportive of each other. Instead of
trying to walk in each other's shoes, we must adopt a new way of
giving of ourselves.
Day. Date.

TED
YTT Asking for
Michele L. Sullivan:
help
I learned at an early age that I is
did a strength,
have to do some not
thingsadifferent
than most people, but I also learned there were things I was on
equal footing with, and one of those was the classroom. Heh, heh,
heh. I was equal. As a matter of fact, I excelled in the classroom.
This was vitally important, I discovered as I grew older and realized I
wasn't going to be able to do a physical job. I needed an education.
So I went on and got a university degree, but I felt to be one step
ahead of everyone for employment, I needed to have an advanced
university degree, so I went ahead and got that.

Now I'm ready for my interview. Remember your first interview?

What am I going to wear? What questions? And don't forget that firm
handshake. I was right there with you. So 24 hours before my
interview, a friend of mine who I've known all my life called and said,
"Michele, the building you're going in has steps." And she knew I
couldn't climb steps. So suddenly, my focus changed. In my shoes, I
was worried about how am I going to get there? So I went early and
found a loading dock and got in and had a great interview. They had
no idea what I went through for the day and that's OK.

You're probably thinking my greatest challenge that day was the

interview, or getting in the building. In reality, my biggest challenge
that day was getting through the loading dock without getting run
over. I am very vulnerable in certain situations: airports, hallways,
parking lots, loading docks. And so I have to be very careful. I have
to anticipate and be flexible and move as quickly as I can
sometimes.

So I got the job, and in my current role I travel quite a bit. And travel
is a challenge for all of us these days. And so you probably get to
the airport, run through security, get to the gate. Did I get my aisle
seat or my window seat? Did I get my upgrade? Me, first of all, I
don't run through anything.

And I especially don't run through the TSA because I get to

experience the personal patdown. I won't comment on that. And
then I make my way to the gate, and with my gift of gab that my
parents said I was born with, I talk to the gate agent, and then I say,
"By the way, my scooter weighs this much, I have a dry cell battery,
and I can drive it down to the door of the plane." Also, the day
before, I had called the city where I'm traveling to to find out where I
could rent a scooter in case mine gets broken on the way. So in my
shoes, it's a little bit different.

When I get onto the plane, I use my gift of gab to ask the lady to put
my bag up, and they graciously do. I try not to eat or drink on a
plane because I don't want to have to get up and walk on the plane,
but nature has its own schedule, and not long ago, it knocked and I
answered. So I walked up to the front of the plane and gabbed with
the flight attendant, and said, "Can you watch the door? I can't
reach the lock." So I'm in there doing my business, and the door flies
open. And there's a gentleman there with a look of horror on his
face. I'm sure I had the same look. As I came out, I noticed that he
was sitting right across from me, and he's in total, complete
embarrassment. So I walk up to him and I quietly go, "Are you going
to remember this as much as I am?"
Day. Date.

TED
YTT Michele L. Sullivan:
Asking for help is a strength, not a
But we talked for the rest of the flight, and we got to know each
other, our families, sports, work, and when we landed, he said,
"Michele, I noticed someone put your bag up. Can I get that for
you?" And I said, "Of course, thank you." And we wished each other
well, and the most important thing that day was that he was not
going to leave with that embarrassment, that experience of
embarrassment. He won't forget it, and neither will I, but I think he
will remember more our chat and our different perspectives.

When you travel internationally, it can be even more challenging in

certain ways. A few years ago, I was in Zanzibar, and I come
wheeling in, and think about that. Short, white, blond woman in a
chair. That doesn't probably happen every day. So I go up, and with
my gift of gab, I start to talk to the agent. So friendly, and I ask
about their culture and so forth, and I notice there wasn't a jet
bridge. So I had to kind of say, "Not only do you have to lift my chair,
I could use some help getting up the steps." So we got to spend
about an hour together while we waited for the flight, and it was the
most magnificent hour. Our perspective changed for both of us that
day. And once I got on the flight, he patted me on the back and
wished me well, and I thanked him so much. And again, I think he's
going to remember that experience more than when I first came in,
and there was a bit of hesitation.

And as you notice, I get a lot of help. I would not be where I am

today if it was not for my family, my friends, my colleagues and the
many strangers that help me every single day of my life. And it's
important that we all have a support system. Asking for help is a
strength, not a weakness.

We all need help throughout our lifetime, but it is just as important

that we are part of other people's support systems. We must adopt
that way of giving back. We all obviously have a role to play in our
own successes, but think about the role we have to play in other
people's successes, just like people do for me every single day.

It's vitally important that we help each other, because society is

increasingly placing people in silos based on biases and ideologies.
And we must look past the surface and be confronted with the truth
that none of us are what you can see. There's more to us than that,
and we're all dealing with things that you cannot see. So living a life
free of judgment allows all of us to share those experiences together
and have a totally different perspective, just like the couple of
people I mentioned earlier in my stories.

So remember, the only shoes you truly can walk in are your own. I
cannot walk in yours. I know you can't walk in my size but you can
try. But we can do something better than that. With compassion,
courage and understanding, we can walk side by side and support
one another, and think about how society can change if we all do