Dog-Human (Kelev-Adam)

Written by Helena Nachmina Meisels Fuksnebroner (not dated) translated from Hebrew by Rina
Fuksenbroner – Levy, 2015

I woke up in the middle of the night, it was cold and dark. A snort was heard but it wasn’t a human
snort. I got frightened. My legs were curled up and something heavy and warm was laying on them. I
tried to move my legs and my breathing stopped! A big dark creature was hovering over me. His
sparkling eyes were looking right into my eyes. We stared at each other and I gasped in relief. It was a
large dog with curly hair, a watch dog. I petted his dwindled fur and he wagged his tail as a friendly
gesture. I was wondering why he didn’t bark. Perhaps it is a lost soul disguised as a dog I wondered… I
smiled to myself: you got a wild imagination!

When I rubbed my half closed eyes, I tried to recall the prior evening events that lead me to this place.
Slowly those scary moments returned to me. I blamed myself for not being careful enough. ‘How could
you forget who you are even for a moment?’ I scolded myself. ‘Who said that you need these luxuries of
sleeping in a bed? Do you know what happens to someone who wants too much? What the
consequences are? Instead of the desired bed you are sitting in a dog house barely moving your half
frozen body!’ --- It’s true, I would have liked to change direction, run away, when I suspected I am
being followed and not letting myself get into an illusion that I just imagine it…nevertheless I hurried to
actualize my crazy idea.

The streets were deserted with only few people wrapped with their warm clothes hurrying to their
homes before night’s descent. A thick layer of snow, glowing in its bright white color, covered the roofs
and tree tops. It was silent all around me. I heard some footsteps but ignored them as I was
mesmerized by the lights shining out from the picturesque small houses that fascinated me.

I imagined people sitting around tables piled with goodies, warming themselves by their well-stocked
wood fireplaces. How envious I was when I decided that tonight I will sleep in a real bed, cover myself
with a real blanket and who know? Perhaps I will be lucky to even drink a hot steaming tea. The tea will
be sweet, warming up my frozen finger. I got into a house serving late comers and paid my dues. Inside,
there was an iron stove defusing godly warm air. The place was quite shabby but for me, it was a dream
come true. I saw myself sprawling on the bed in deep sleep and I was excited by this vision.

At that moment, a man came in and I knew immediately that he followed me. Yes, it his him! I met him
that morning and his inquiring rude stare made me shiver. ‘Good Evening’ he said to me ‘You are a good
walker, lots of energy! In certain cases, it is good, even necessary’, he laughed content at his humor,
showing yellow horse like teeth and tiny lusty swine like eyes. He looked like a wild beast or a devil
missing his horns on his big bald head with an overflowing belly that jiggled back and forth with his
sarcastic laughs. All my senses screamed to me: RUN NOW!

I ran out so fast, hearing only my loud heartbeat, fearing his body pouring outside from the lodge,
running after me until we reached the edge of the village. He managed to catch up with me, pulled my
hand saying to me in a satiric tone: ‘Why are you running away from me little girl? All I want is a little fun
– it is not every day that one encounters such a good piece of meat! Isn’t it worth it for you to get your
life as a present for such a small favor? Be reasonable because if you are not, you may find yourself in
heaven unless you will be stopped in hell where all your relatives belong!!! -- I swear to God that if I am
not mistaken you are a Jew – after all what does a girl like you do on the road?’

I stopped. Petrified. He approached me slowly, breathing heavily, his body shaking and his sickening
look of a horny beast. His hands touched my coat starting to unbutton my blouse. ‘In a moment he will
be all over me violating me;’ I though while I was frozen in place, not being able to move. I felt like an
animal caught by a hunter and hypnotized. Unable to run as he is about to load his gun and shoot me.
And then, when he was so close that I smelled his breath smothered with alcohol, I felt a huge disgust
that overwhelmed my body and my whole body felt like it was boiling with anger.

A minute later, a fat big body was swirling on the sparkly white snow, screaming and cursing loudly. ‘He
probably got an effective kick and a blow from me’ I thought, and my heart filled with joy. There was no
time for thinking, I ran away in a madly pace. That bastard could call for help and the police who will
chase me with their trained dogs which will leave me no chance to escape… Then I saw a train
approaching and when it slowed down I hopped on it and after one hour I got off. Luckily no one saw
me.

Meanwhile the snow stopped falling, the sky cleared up and the stars were hanging like street lights
shining my way. Houses appeared on the horizon but I was afraid the come too close to the village. I
saw a small structure at the edge of it, looked like a big dog house, it was empty with a small pile of
straw. Without thinking much, I lowered myself and sat in it. My eyes closed and I fell asleep. I have no
idea how long I slept but when I opened my eyes, the dog was there.

‘What happened in this strange world?’ I thought – the dog is human but the human is a dog! The
values I knew got transposed and in addition to my troubles I got a new danger: the need to protect
myself from lusting men, experiencing another unwanted shady side of life. ‘And what will the future
hold? How will I relate to men – as enemies?’ --- I sat awake, not able to fall asleep, the dog lying at my
feet looking at me with his wet eyes that made me feel that he understands me: ‘You are my only
friend’, I whispered into his long ears. We were sitting, me and the dog, the dog warmed up my body
and I petted the dog.

Silence surrounded us. The stars were so low that I felt that I could put out my hand and catch them.
When I was a little girl, I believed that seeing a falling star and making a wish at that moment, will make
that wish come true. But I realized now that my wishes won’t come true…hyenas were howling from
afar, soon nature’s killing will start whereby animals will prey on each other. The moon started to climb
to the mountain tops like if wanting to come closer to God but what kind of a world did God create?

Dawn was approaching, the day started to wake up, sun rays lightened up the mountains glowing in
their glory – the view was spectacular and my heart filled with hope. It’s time to get out of here, I
thought, before the owners wake up and see me. It is not dogs I should fear, I should fear people. I
petted the dog, saying goodbye, and whispered thanks into his ears. The dog cuddled with me and licked
my fingers and face. ‘Good Dog!’ I said, ‘Farewell!’…. I went on my way, ready for another battle for my
life.