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WORKBOOK

Jackie Arnold
Coaching
Table of Contents

Module 1 – What is Coaching? – p4

Module 2 – Barriers to Coaching – p6
Module 3 – Benefits of Coaching – p11
Module 4 – Avoiding the Pitfalls of Internal Coaching – p13
Module 5 – How to Run a Coaching Session – p15
Module 6 – Coaching Models – p22
Module 7 – Setting Up Sessions – p26
Bonus Module – Respecting Differences – p30
Bonus Forms – p33 Admin 16/4/14 16:26
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About Jackie Arnold
Director of Coaching & Training, Jackie Arnold, has spent the past twenty years working in
business and education, living and teaching the principles of personal development and Admin 16/4/14 16:37
leadership. She employs a team of very experienced coaches and trainers who have all Deleted: Jackie Arnold is an experienced and
professional coach, trainer and coach
worked internationally. supervisor. She brings a wealth of expertise to the
companies and clients she deals with. She works
alongside a variety of skilled professional coaches
An experienced professional coach, coach supervisor and trainer herself, Jackie brings a and trainers who have had experience of working in
wealth of expertise to the companies and clients she deals with. She works alongside a variety both the public and private sectors. ... [1]
of skilled professionals who have had experience of working in both the public and private Admin 16/4/14 16:38
sectors. Deleted: coaching
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Jackie helped to set up and served on the board of the UK International Coaching Federation Deleted: training
(UKICF) for three years and has run management and leadership skills workshops and ‘ILM
Executive Coaching (Level 5) and Leadership Mentoring (Level 7) Courses’ throughout the UK.
She has lectured on business management and personal development across Europe and the Admin 16/4/14 16:39
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Far East. Jackie runs management and leadership programmes in the UK and France and
coaches executives in Europe and the Far East. Admin 16/4/14 16:35
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Jackie is currently an executive coach for AIRBUS and The Leadership Foundation in the UK,
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and has also worked in France, Spain, Switzerland and Germany.
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Module 1 – What is Coaching?

Coaching is a way of encouraging and supporting someone to achieve a goal or to develop or

acquire skills. The focus of coaching is the individual being coached (the coachee). The coach
makes interventions to support the coachee to move forward and to take responsibility for their
own decisions and actions.

Although a coach need not have knowledge or expertise in any areas of their coachees’ work,
they are skilled professionals trained in methods and processes that enable their coaches to
develop and change positively.

A coach creates a particular energy when working with their coaches by being a non-
judgmental listener and reflector of the ideas and issues that arise. They do not put forward
their own ideas and suggestions during the coaching session. Instead, they remain totally
convinced of the potential of those they coach. This enables the coaches to discover and
explore hidden areas and to build on their inherent ability for development. Coaching focuses,
for the most part, on the present situation and future possibilities.

A coach will ask you how you do things – and then encourage you to do that in a more
productive, smarter way than you do now.

You don’t go to a coach for advice – but rather for acknowledgement and as a sounding board.
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External Coaching Admin 16/4/14 16:41
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External coaches are asked to come into a company to improve individuals and business Admin 16/4/14 16:41
performance. They may have no previous knowledge of the company concerned, but are highly Deleted: coaching
skilled in supporting behavioural change and understanding business processes.

Internal Coaching Admin 16/4/14 16:41

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Internal coaches are those people who support their own staff or staff from other departments
in the same organisation. They may be experienced in coaching or mentoring and may or may
not have formal qualifications. An internal coach or mentor will also have knowledge about the Admin 16/4/14 16:42
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successes, failures and challenges their organisation is facing. This can be a great advantage
but may also get in the way of successful coaching, as you will see later. Admin 16/4/14 16:42
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One of the most common questions asked about coaching is how it differs from other
interventions, such as mentoring, counseling and teaching. The following is a summary
of the key differences:
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Mentoring
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While mentoring and coaching have moved closer over the past 10 years, most people agree Formatted: Font:Bold
that a mentor acts as a guide who assists an individual to learn faster and more effectively Admin 16/4/14 16:42
than they might do alone. An effective mentor will use a range of skills and techniques to allow Deleted: d
an individual to obtain a clearer picture of an organisation and their role in it. They may give
advice and direction and are usually experienced in their mentees’ work. Mentors encourage
questions and help their mentees to build up a sense of how their careers might develop. In Admin 16/4/14 16:43
this way they gain confidence in their role and a renewed sense of purpose. A mentor can be Deleted: They

particularly helpful for people new to a role or for those looking to gain knowledge and skills Admin 16/4/14 16:44
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from a more experienced colleague.

You might have a mentor when you’re joining a new company.

A mentor uses a lot of coaching skills like deep listening and acknowledgement. But the big
difference is that they’re advising you – they’re telling you things. A coach doesn’t advise or tell. Admin 16/4/14 16:45
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At first you’ll want a mentor, but ultimately you’ll want a coach – somebody who will challenge
your thinking.

Why is Coaching so Valuable?

Coaching is widely recognised as being of value and importance to most organisations. At its
best it recognises and encourages every individual’s growth and potential. It provides a safe Admin 16/4/14 16:45
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space where individuals can explore areas that may otherwise remain just out of reach.
Coaching supplies the challenge and support people need to face up to and to explore their Admin 16/4/14 16:45
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undiscovered potential.

Coaching is valuable because it promotes:

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• Increased confidence and self-awareness and enhanced emotional intelligence;
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• Effective resolution to issues and challenges;
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• Business/personal growth and career advancement;
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• Better decision-making and clarity around goals; Admin 16/4/14 16:45
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• Improved time and stress management; Admin 16/4/14 16:46
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• Enhanced verbal and non-verbal communication skills. Admin 16/4/14 16:46
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The Coaching Space Deleted: and
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A coach will listen to you intently. The quality of the coach’s listening will enhance the quality of Deleted: enhanced
your thinking. It gives you space to expand your thoughts, and to think more productively.

A good coach reflects what you’ve said back to you, which helps you to be much clearer in
your understanding of what you’ve said.
Module 2 – Barriers to Coaching
Overcoming Barriers to Coaching
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Despite good forward planning and clear guidelines to your staff about who or what is involved Deleted: barriers

in the process, you will more than likely encounter individual barriers to coaching and Admin 16/4/14 16:47
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mentoring.
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Individual barriers can include:
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• A lack of self-awareness.

• An unwillingness to change.
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• Issues around confidence.

• Little knowledge of the process.

• Learning difficulties.

• Lack of support systems.

• Feeling there is no choice.

• A feeling that coaching/mentoring is just another 'tool'.

• Poor experiences of coaching/mentoring.

• No real belief that it can be effective.

• Cultural differences.

• Unresolved personal issues.

Just one or several of these barriers may be present, and there a number of ways they can be
addressed.
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Lacking Self-Awareness Formatted: Font:Bold
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A coachee’s lack of self-awareness can sometimes be a daunting task for a mentor or coach to Deleted: self
tackle, but it can often be addressed by incisive questioning and by challenging certain beliefs, Admin 16/4/14 16:48
often about other people. Formatted: Font:Bold
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Take this example: Deleted: awareness
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Coachee: My direct report, Anne, is a really difficult personality. She does a good job but no- Formatted: Font:Bold
one really likes her and she can be so abrasive. Perhaps I should replace her. Admin 16/4/14 16:48
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Coach: You say that Anne is a difficult personality. Is that your opinion? Admin 16/4/14 16:48
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Coachee: Well, yes, she can be very confrontational.
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Coach: Confrontational? Deleted: .

Coachee: Yes, she always goes against whatever I say.

Coach: So she challenges you?

Coachee: In a way, yes, but she doesn’t want to listen to sense.

Coach: Sense?

Coachee: Yes, she can’t seem to grasp my point of view.

Coach: So, what you are saying is that she goes against whatever you say, doesn’t want to
listen to sense, and doesn’t grasp your point of view?

Coachee: Yes.

Coach: Say a bit more about your point of view.

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Coachee: Well, my point of view is usually the right one [laughs as he Deleted: |

says this.] Admin 16/4/14 16:49

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Coach: What made you laugh? Admin 16/4/14 16:49

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Coachee: Well, I suppose that sounds a bit arrogant, doesn’t it?

Coach: Does it?

Coachee: Yes [pauses]. Actually, Anne's ideas can sometimes be quite useful.
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In this session the real breakthrough was when the coachee realised that his own way of being Deleted: (

was arrogant. He was able to see that his attitude to Anne was part of the problem and, further Admin 16/4/14 16:49
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on in the session, he began to see that a change in his behaviour could improve their
relationship.

As the coach reflected to him in his own words, he was able to hear what he was saying and
notice the way he was coming across.

If people do not have any self-awareness (and you should be asking, 'In whose opinion?') and
are really resistant or fearful, they may not respond to coaching at this time. They may identify
mentoring or training as a way forward. Coaching in particular needs to be something your staff
have chosen to engage in rather than it being forced upon them.

Sometimes carrying out 180 degree or 360 degree feedback will enable people to see how
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This in itself can often lead to an individual recognising that they can develop and that they
may need to change or some of their behavior. As with a lack of self-awareness, it is important
to realise that it may not be the best timing to coach or mentor everyone, but this does not Admin 16/4/14 16:50
exclude it from being introduced at another point in their careers. Deleted: self

Resistance to change can also stem from a fear of not being able to cope in a role or system.
This is where and mentoring can achieve real transformation.

Confidence

People often come to coaching and mentoring with beliefs that limit their progress. These may
be long-standing voices in their heads or stories they have told themselves about their past or
abilities. You can support your coachees to 'reframe' these beliefs and to view them as
something they can choose to get rid of.

Persuading people to focus on their strengths by asking them to list their achievements can be
revealing: people are often able to list their faults and development areas, but sometimes have
difficulty their strengths.

Knowing Little of The Process

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Most people are familiar with mentoring: it has its roots in the old apprenticeship scheme that is
now making a comeback. Anyone new to a role can be assigned a mentor to guide them and to Admin 16/4/14 16:51
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give them advice when needed.
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If there is a specific skill one member of staff can offer others, they can be called to help and
assist those who need to improve.

IT skills, presentation skills, time management, knowledge of policies and procedures are all
suited to mentoring.

People need to have information on the way both coaching and mentoring will be offered, with
clear contracts in place. Ideally, a common information pack for coaching should be given out
to potential coaches to prepare them for the sessions. Wheels, diagrams, goal sheets and any
assessments must be made available to the coaches for study in advance of the sessions,
where appropriate.

Learning Difficulties Admin 16/4/14 16:51

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Coaching and mentoring can be a vital support for learning difficulties such as dyslexia, vision
and hearing problems, and so on. Often it is mentoring that is needed because people may Admin 16/4/14 16:54
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need guidance and advice, particularly at the outset. It is also important for managers to
recognise that everyone operates according to their own style. In a coaching or mentoring Admin 16/4/14 16:54
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session, these styles can be explored and your staff can choose the best way for them.

In a large office run by a charity where the staff had a variety of learning difficulties, coaching
and mentoring were offered and the staff were encouraged to share their time-management
methods with each other.
They were amazed by the diversity and range of systems used, from coloured filing systems to
computer lists and wallcharts. Through consultation, those with learning difficulties felt involved
and were more accepting of the programme as a result. Admin 16/4/14 16:55
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Lacking Support Systems

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The staff in an organisation may feel they have no-one to turn to in times of difficulty or change. Deleted: support …upport systems ... [3]

Support systems such as regular appraisals, one-to-one sessions with a line manager, or clear Admin 16/4/14 16:55
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lines of feedback and evaluation may not be in place.

Where staff development is supported by coaching and mentoring, clear communication

channels and opportunities for feedback should be in place. All the staff who have signed up
for the programme must feel supported and heard. Ideally, they should have access to an
internal intranet, discussion groups and a range of websites and resources to support them in
their development.

Feeling There is No Choice

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Neither coaching nor mentoring will be well received if you do not give your staff an element of
choice. People should be committed to the sessions and, ideally, they should have a choice of
who is their coach or mentor: it has been shown that coaching, in particular, is more successful
when the staff can choose their coach. This avoids possible personality clashes.

Kent County Council and Kent Fire Service trained a considerable number of their
management staff to become coaches and mentors. As a result, all the trained coaches are
able to coach in each other's organisations. All staff are therefore offered coaches from both
organisations, allowing them a wide range of choice and personalities. Admin 16/4/14 16:57
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Thinking That Coaching or Mentoring is Just Another ‘Tool’

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unusual or a passing fad: most people are willing to be shown new methods or skills by a more Admin 16/4/14 16:59
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experienced individual. Coaching on the other hand is often regarded as 'just another tool', and
there may be some skepticism on behalf of management as to its value.

Organisational Barriers

There can be any organisational barriers to coaching and mentoring:

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• Cost of training
• Time (for sessions and cover)
• A lack of buy-in from senior management
• No real evidence of outcomes and impact
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• A culture where trust and openness are not encouraged
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• Poor systems processes
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• Tensions and mistrust in the team Deleted: .
• The perception of coaching and those being coached Admin 16/4/14 17:00
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As with individual barriers, just one, or several, may be present and there are a number of Admin 16/4/14 17:00
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Justifying The Cost of Training
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Try to balance the cost of effective coach and/or mentor training against other interventions Deleted: the

such as staff training, consultancy, tutoring, attendance at conferences, external qualifications, Admin 16/4/14 17:00
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and so on. Cost-benefit analyses have been carried out by many organisations proving that
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coaching and mentoring are very cost-effective. You could also try running a pilot until clear
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outcomes and benefits are demonstrated.
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Justifying Time
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Quality-focused thinking time can be very creative: it gives an individual the space to expand
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their thinking and can actually save time in the long run. It allows people to share their ideas,
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fears and difficulties in a confidential environment so that the process of change and/or
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acquiring new skills is less frightening.
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Overcoming a Lack of Buy-in From Senior Management

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If you meet resistance from senior management, hold a meeting with all the stakeholders to
demonstrate how coaching or mentoring can benefit your organisation. As with individual Admin 16/4/14 17:00
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barriers, case studies are now freely available for discussion.
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Module 3 – Benefits of Coaching

The Benefits of Coaching: Examples Admin 16/4/14 17:02

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In 1999, as an ex-BBC radio broadcaster, I was asked to coach programme presenters at the Admin 16/4/14 17:02
BBC so they could gain confidence when tendering for new programme slots. The then- Deleted: Some
Director General, Greg Dyke, was very open to creating a coaching culture. His vision was to Admin 16/4/14 17:03
make the BBC "the most creative organisation in the world". Today, the BBC has forward- Deleted: for them to
thinking leaders who have embraced and spread a culture of coaching throughout the Admin 16/4/14 17:03
organisation. Deleted:
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This has had a very positive effect on the way the BBC has handled the changes that have Deleted: '
taken place within the organisation. Their leadership coaches have regular coaching Admin 16/4/14 17:03
supervision and have learnt to work more collaboratively. In turn, this has promoted an Deleted: t
atmosphere of trust and openness among the staff and a willingness to learn from their Admin 16/4/14 17:03
mistakes. One-to-one coaching sessions and group coaching are carried out on a regular Deleted: world'
basis, thus helping staff to feel supported and valued. Admin 16/4/14 17:04
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Another example of where coaching has had an impact is a Special Needs school in London, Admin 16/4/14 17:04
where a coaching culture has been adopted in the training of senior staff to be workplace Deleted: (see Chapter 17).

coaches. All professional conversations now take on a supportive coaching style, and one-to- Admin 16/4/14 17:04
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one confidential coaching sessions have been set up for all who request them. As a result, the
staff feel supported and this has increased motivation. This atmosphere of openness and trust Admin 16/4/14 17:05
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extends to the classroom and meetings with parents, and it has had an immense impact on
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teaching and learning within the school.
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Mentoring has also been a vital part of the programme as teachers new to their roles have
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benefited from having the advice and experience of more senior staff. Within two years, the
school has gone from floundering at the bottom of the league tables to becoming a high-
performing institution.

During the one-to-one voluntary coaching sessions, the following areas were identified as
being particularly suited to coaching:

• Supporting and motivating staff.

• Staff setting and achieving their own development goals.
• Performance appraisals.
• Planning and structuring lessons.
• Professional coaching conversations following classroom observation.
• Solving problems.
• Communicating with colleagues and parents.
• Effective delegation.

At Upstream Connections (a web-design and optimisation company in Sussex), coaching

sessions from an external coach were set up. This was initially for the four department
managers on a regular fortnightly basis over 12 months. The main focus of the coaching was to
support the newly-promoted managers in their roles. After the coaching programme, the
managers identified the following as particularly useful:
 • Developing themselves as managers through the one-to-one sessions.
• Unlocking areas of expertise and enhancing existing skills.
• The importance of effective delegation.
• Improved communication between individuals and departments.
• Feeling valued and supported.

As a result, the company has encouraged members of staff to adopt a coaching style of
management. It feels this will result in more effective meetings, more motivated staff and
enhanced performance. It also realised that its staff turnover was greatly reduced when people
felt valued and supported. It has saved considerably on recruitment costs and staff have taken
charge of their own learning and development as a result of the coaching. Admin 16/4/14 17:07
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Becoming an effective coach, therefore, requires a great many skills, not least of which are the
skills of being an effective leader. Admin 16/4/14 17:07
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Module 4 – Avoiding the Pitfalls of Internal Coaching
Apart from finding solutions for your coachee, there are other pitfalls an internal coach can
easily fall into:
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Leading the Coachee to a Solution Admin 16/4/14 17:07
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... [11]

Try not to ‘lead’ your coachee to an obvious solution to the problem. For example:

Coach: So, presenting these results to the board on Friday is not what you want to do?
Coachee: No, I just don’t feel ready. Admin 16/4/14 17:08
Formatted
Coach: Umm. What about asking Bob to help you? He’s great at presenting. (Jumping to a ... [12]

solution.) Admin 16/4/14 17:08

Formatted
Coachee: Well, it’s not really the presentation skills I’m concerned about. I just feel I need ... [13]

more time to prepare. Admin 16/4/14 17:08

Formatted ... [14]

A more useful exchange here would have been as follows:

Coachee: I just don’t feel ready.

Coach: What would you need to feel ‘ready’? (Using the coachee’s language.) Admin 16/4/14 17:08
Formatted ... [15]
Coachee: Well, I would need to prepare all the PowerPoint slides and make sure I had all the
figures clear in my head. Admin 16/4/14 17:08
Formatted ... [16]
Coach: How long would that take you?
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Coachee: Well, I could ask someone in Communications to sort out the PowerPoint I suppose.
Formatted ... [17]
Perhaps it’s just the figures I need to go through myself. Umm, I’ve got till the end of the week.
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Coach: So, where does that leave you?
Formatted ... [18]
Coachee: Actually, Friday looks manageable when I think about it.
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Formatted ... [19]
By coming out of ‘fix-it’ mode the coach has allowed the coachee to come to their own solution.
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In the first exchange the coach had assumed it was the lack of presentation skills that was
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holding the coachee back and had jumped in with their own idea. Staying back and supporting Formatted ... [20]
the coachee while they thought things through enabled the coachee to come up with a solution
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that was best for them. Formatted ... [21]
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Showing Your Judgement Non-Verbally Deleted: fix
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Try to remain curious without showing judgement in the tone of your voice, facial expressions Deleted: your …our judgement …udgement
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or body language:

Coach: This issue of x is something that seems to be hovering in the background. I am

wondering if it has any significance here. (Relaxed, neutral tone of voice.) Admin 16/4/14 17:10
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Coach: I am sensing a reluctance to take this further. Is there anything more that needs to be
considered here? Admin 16/4/14 17:10
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Be curious and keep your voice neutral and even. This part of the session may be a difficult
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area for the coachee to delve into. Be respectful and allow the coachee to consider their reply.
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If there is the slightest hint of judgement, the session will close down.
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Wanting Your Staff to Succeed Admin 16/4/14 17:10
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Try not to become over-enthusiastic about your coachee’s development. As a manager or Admin 16/4/14 17:10
leader, you will want your staff to perform well. Your staff may be highly motivated and may Deleted: staff
appear to be on top of things. As their coach, you could be pulled along by their commitment Admin 16/4/14 17:10
and energy. If you are, you are in danger of allowing your staff to fail or to promise more than Deleted: succeed
they can deliver.

Staff often want to please their manager or coach, and, as a result, they may sometimes make
decisions or commitments they find hard to keep. As a coach, you will need to check how
realistic their goals are. Ensure your staff are well equipped to tackle the tasks they have set
for themselves:

Coach: So you think you will be ready for this presentation on Friday?
Coachee: Yes, that seems possible now. Admin 16/4/14 17:11
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Coach: Good. So what exactly is your plan of action now?
Coachee: Well, I need to go over the data and decide how many PowerPoint slides I need and Admin 16/4/14 17:12
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roughly design them. Then contact Peter in Comms to see if he is willing to set them up for me.
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Oh, and I need to take some time to go through them and make some adjustments.
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Coach: Is that all possible before Friday?
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Coachee: Actually, that seems like a rush. I think that I would feel better about presenting it
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next week and getting it right. It would give everyone more time and I would feel calmer about
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it.
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Once again, this allows the coachee to reach a decision that is right for them – it is not setting
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them up to fail.
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Pushing For a Result Admin 16/4/14 17:12

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There will be times when, as a coach, you will be frustrated by the lack of progress in a Admin 16/4/14 17:12
coaching session, and you may thus be tempted to push your coachee to get a result. Deleted: comms
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In many companies there is a time pressure to get things completed. If at all possible, avoid
rushing your coachees. Some people thrive under pressure and love to be challenged. Others Admin 16/4/14 17:11
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need the time with you to reflect on decisions and may even need to go away from the
workplace to consider the ideas they have brought up in the session. Admin 16/4/14 17:12
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If they are given this time they will trust the process, and their decision making will become Admin 16/4/14 17:11
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more confident as a result.
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Module 5 – How to Run a Coaching Session

Creating A Good Coaching Relationship Admin 16/4/14 17:13

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In order to make a coachee or mentee feel comfortable in the sessions, it is necessary to

create a rapport between you, to build up a relationship of trust and safety. It is all very well to
set goals and to discuss targets but, without a strong relationship, the sessions will not have
the desired outcomes.

Creating the space where people feel nurtured and really heard is a vital part of your role.
When mentoring managers be aware that they are generally looking for further expertise,
advice and guidance. When coaching managers, bear in mind that what they are looking for is
a true partner; someone with whom they can share concerns and admit failings without
judgement. Admin 16/4/14 17:13
Deleted: :

As a manager/coach, spend some time before the coaching sessions to centre yourself and to
rid yourself of any negative thoughts or preconceptions. This will allow you to put aside any
pre-knowledge of your coachee you may have and will enable the session to be totally non-
judgemental.

This is easier said than done, but with practice, it can be achieved. As a coach, tap into your
authentic self and be genuinely present in the moment for your coachees. This way you will
release their potential and allow them to face their challenges with a true partner. Admin 16/4/14 17:15
Deleted: ‘…That will never work’…ork", or,
... [26]
In a coaching role you will be standing back from the role of the ‘expert’. You will need to Admin 16/4/14 17:15
believe that the person you are supporting will come up with their own answers and solutions. Formatted ... [27]
This can be challenging as you may have built up an unfavourable picture of your coachee and Admin 16/4/14 17:15
may find it difficult to believe in their potential. Everyone, however, has the potential to grow Formatted ... [28]
and develop in their own way. Admin 16/4/14 17:15
Formatted ... [29]
This may not be the way you expected, though and so you may have to block out your own Admin 16/4/14 17:17
internal chatter, such as, "That will never work", or, "Oh dear, that’s really not the way I would Deleted: .
do it." Case study Jane was the principal of a language school in Cheltenham and she had Admin 16/4/14 17:17
asked me to coach her as she was feeling overloaded. Formatted ... [30]
Admin 16/4/14 17:18
The following is an extract from our first session: Deleted: using
Admin 16/4/14 17:17
Coach: What would you like to use this session for today? Formatted ... [31]
Admin 16/4/14 17:18
Jane: I feel totally overstretched and my workload has increased as the school has expanded. Deleted: .
I am feeling very tired and can’t seem to keep on top of everything. Admin 16/4/14 17:15
Formatted ... [32]

Coach: So you have an additional workload that is making you feel tired? Tell me a little more Admin 16/4/14 17:18
about what it is you can’t keep on top of. (Using her own words.) Deleted: (
Admin 16/4/14 17:17
Jane: Well, this week, I need to speak to a couple of my agents. I need to organise the Formatted: Font:Italic
teaching schedule, prepare for our up-and-coming inspection, and recruit a couple of new Admin 16/4/14 17:18
teachers. Preparing for the inspection is taking so much of my time [sighs]. Deleted: ).
Admin 16/4/14 17:17
Formatted: Font:Italic
 Admin 16/4/14 17:15
Coach: It sounds like the impending inspection is causing you to feel pressured. What needs Formatted ... [33]
to happen so that you can feel more on top of things? (No advice here; just reflecting and
Admin 16/4/14 17:18
putting a very open question.) Deleted: ,
Admin 16/4/14 17:17
Jane: Well, it would be nice to get someone to take over some of the process but no-one has Formatted ... [34]
the experience really. (She believes that she is the only person who can do these tasks Admin 16/4/14 17:18
effectively.) Deleted: no
Admin 16/4/14 17:17
Coach: So you have no-one who can take on that responsibility? (Challenges that assumption Formatted: Font:Italic
by reflecting her thoughts.) Admin 16/4/14 17:18
Deleted: Believes
Jane: No. . .[thinks for a few moments] My director of studies, Kate, is very capable but I can’t Admin 16/4/14 17:17
see her being able to understand all that is required. She works so differently to me. Formatted: Font:Italic
Admin 16/4/14 17:15
Coach: Yes, I can see that you think it would be a lot for Kate. In what way does she work Formatted ... [35]
differently? (Encouraging her to think about the way Kate works.) Admin 16/4/14 17:19
Deleted: no
Jane: Well, she’s very organised and good at sorting things out . . . umm. She’s good at Admin 16/4/14 17:17
systems but less effective when it comes to dealing with staff. I suppose I could get her to take Formatted: Font:Italic
on some of the organisational tasks. Admin 16/4/14 17:19
Deleted: Challenges
Coach: What specific tasks do you think she could take on? (Helping her to think clearly about Admin 16/4/14 17:17
where Kate can help.) Formatted ... [36]
Admin 16/4/14 17:19
Jane: I could ask her what she felt she was able to organise in terms of the inspection. There Deleted: (
are guidelines that she can follow and I could talk her though those. There are a number of Admin 16/4/14 17:17
processes that she could put in place for the teaching staff. Yes, perhaps she would do things Formatted: Font:Italic
differently but actually her skills are quite well-suited to setting up systems and processes. Admin 16/4/14 17:19
Deleted: )
During the coaching session, Jane was encouraged to think about how she could best use the Admin 16/4/14 17:17
skills and talents of her Director of Studies. Often, as managers or leaders of organisations, Formatted: Font:Italic
you believe your way is best and, of course, that can sometimes be true. However, unless you Admin 16/4/14 17:15
are prepared to take a few risks and delegate, you will become overloaded and your staff will Formatted ... [37]
not learn and grow. Admin 16/4/14 17:15
Formatted ... [38]
In her discussion with Kate the following day, Jane realised that she could give Kate a great Admin 16/4/14 17:15
deal more responsibility than she had expected. Kate had a much better understanding than Formatted ... [39]

Jane had realised and this not only freed Jane up but also motivated Kate to take on more Admin 16/4/14 17:15
responsibility for the inspection. Sometimes just showing your coachee that you believe in their Formatted ... [40]

potential can encourage them to be both creative and more effective. Admin 16/4/14 17:20
Deleted:
Using Appropriate Language Admin 16/4/14 17:17
Formatted: Font:Italic
In order to make a coachee or mentee feel comfortable in the sessions, you need to create a Admin 16/4/14 17:20
rapport in order to build up a relationship of trust and safety. It is all very well to set goals and Deleted: ,
to discuss targets but without a strong relationship the sessions will not have the desired Admin 16/4/14 17:20
outcomes. Deleted: USING …sing APPROPRIATE... [41]
Admin 16/4/14 17:21
Creating the space where people feel nurtured and really heard is a vital part of your role. Deleted: I …n the sessions, you need to...create
[42]

When mentoring managers be aware that they are generally looking for further expertise, Admin 16/4/14 17:22
Deleted: nurtures
advice and guidance. When coaching managers, bear in mind that what they are looking for is
a true partner; someone with whom they can share concerns and admit failings without
judgement. Admin 16/4/14 17:22
Deleted: :

As a manager/coach, spend some time before the coaching sessions to centre yourself and to
rid yourself of any negative thoughts or preconceptions. This will allow you to put aside any Admin 16/4/14 17:22
pre-knowledge of your coachee you may have and will enable to session to be totally non- Deleted:
Admin 16/4/14 17:22
judgemental.
Deleted:

This is easier said than done, but with practice it can be achieved.

Xxxxx start of sentence missing xxxx

up for your coachees will determine the outcome of the session and how well your coachees Admin 16/4/14 17:23
Deleted:
feel listened to. If you are ‘still’ in mind and body you will enable your coachees to expand their
thinking, and you will notice more of what is not said during the session. This may often be the
real insight. Admin 16/4/14 17:23
Formatted: Font:Italic

Asking Effective Questions

Admin 16/4/14 17:23
Deleted: ASKING
One of the key skills in coaching and mentoring is to ask effective questions. If you are new to
coaching, you do not need to have a list of questions in front of you. Nor do you need to feel Admin 16/4/14 17:23
Deleted: FFECTIVE
that your questions are the ‘right’ ones. There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ questions, just questions
Admin 16/4/14 17:23
that arise from your coachee and their world.
Deleted: UESTIONS

All you need to do is listen at a deep level and the questions will flow naturally. When you are
acting as a coach, you are concentrating on your coachee’s language and style. You are
listening at a level that enables you to ask the right question for them.

Using Open Questions Admin 16/4/14 17:24

Deleted: open
Some of the most powerful open questions begin with ‘What’ – such questions allow the Admin 16/4/14 17:25
individual to expand on their thinking. Deleted: questions

For example:

• What else can you say about that?

• What kind of x is that? (Use their word.)
Admin 16/4/14 17:25
• What would that involve?
Formatted: Font:Italic
• Anything else?
• What needs to happen now? Admin 16/4/14 17:25
Deleted: ‘
• What else?
Admin 16/4/14 17:25
Deleted: improvement’
If your coachee says, "I feel that my time management needs improvement", you could ask,
Admin 16/4/14 17:25
"What aspect of time management exactly do you feel needs improvement?"
Deleted: ‘
Admin 16/4/14 17:25
Later in the session you could use other use simple questions, such as:
Deleted: ’
What needs to happen now?
Admin 16/4/14 17:25
Who else may be involved?
Formatted: Font:Bold
How could you take this forward?

You will notice that, with all these what, who, how, etc., questions, there is an assumption that
the coachee will know the answers.

It is important for the person being coached to have the space and time to consider, without
any suggestions from the coach. When you are supporting an individual to take ownership of
their answers and possible actions, this freedom to think is vital. There may be silences where
you feel the need to jump in with a second question or a prompt, but avoid doing so!

This may be the first time your coachee has had the opportunity to really consider the issue.
Give them time to think things through. Resist the urge to fill the gap with your knowledge or
advice, and be prepared to be surprised when your coachee comes up with an answer. It may
not be your answer, but it is usually the right one for them.

Where possible, give them the benefit of the doubt – their way may just be better or more
effective than yours. Allowing them to discover the right way by learning from their mistakes will
increase their self-knowledge and awareness. Naturally, there may be occasions when you will
need to head them away from certain situations.

This can also be done by feeding back to them what they propose, and by adding challenging
and incisive questions while keeping your voice neutral:

• What exactly do you think this (x – use their words) would achieve?
Admin 16/4/14 17:26
• How would you go about this (x – use their words) precisely?
Formatted: Font:Italic
• What results would you expect?
Admin 16/4/14 17:26
• What impact might this have? Formatted: Font:Italic
• What other possibilities could you consider?

At all times you will need to be aware of your tone of voice and stress patterns. Ideally, your
tone should be neutral, and you should not indicate your feelings by emphasising certain words
to make your coachee feel pressured. This may take more time initially but, if you allow people
to expand their thinking in this way, you will be supporting them to grow.

They will develop their skills and not feel the need to come to you for advice at all times of the
day. This is particularly important when you are leading an organisation and need time to focus
on your own role. If you really feel that the solutions they have come up with will definitely fail
(do you really know that?), or if you feel what they propose will definitely have a negative
impact, one way forward is to say, "I have some advice I think would be useful here. Shall we
discuss all the options on the table?" Admin 16/4/14 17:26
Deleted: ‘

It is just possible they have an idea you may not have considered, or they may have a different Admin 16/4/14 17:26
Deleted: ’
take on things. By involving the individual in the discussion and really allowing their views to be
considered, they will feel they had a useful part to play and will go away motivated.

Limiting Beliefs/Assumptions Admin 16/4/14 17:26

Deleted: LIMITING
When you are involved in a one-to-one coaching session with a member of staff, it is useful to Admin 16/4/14 17:26
ask questions that will address limiting beliefs and assumptions. Getting to the heart of the Deleted: ELIEFS/ASSUMPTIONS
 Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Deleted: study
Admin 16/4/14 17:27
issues and blocks will help to unlock your coachee’s potential. Powerful questions using your Formatted ... [43]
coachee’s language can really get to the crux of what is holding them back.
Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Formatted ... [44]

Admin 16/4/14 17:27

Formatted ... [45]
Case Study Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Formatted ... [46]
In this case study, a line manager (LM) is coaching an employee (E) who is new to their role.
Admin 16/4/14 17:27
The employee has been reluctant to start on her annual appraisals and has asked for a Formatted ... [47]
coaching session. Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Formatted ... [48]
Line Manager: You mentioned you would like to focus this session on your annual appraisals Admin 16/4/14 17:27
that are coming up? Formatted ... [49]
Employee: Yes, er . . . I do. Admin 16/4/14 17:27
LM: What would you like to discuss in this session? Formatted ... [50]
E: Well, I’m not really sure. Admin 16/4/14 17:28
LM: You sound uncertain. What are you not sure about? (Using coachee’s language.) Formatted ... [51]
E: I’m not very good at appraisals. Admin 16/4/14 17:27
LM: What part of the process are you not good at? Formatted ... [52]
E: I don’t feel very confident about any of it, to be honest. Admin 16/4/14 17:27
LM: What would make you more confident? (Using their word.) Formatted ... [53]
E: Well, I suppose some kind of training in appraisals would help. Admin 16/4/14 17:27
LM: So you feel you need further training? Anything else I can support you with? Formatted ... [54]
E: Yes, to be frank I have never done appraisals before. (Sensing that the line manager is Admin 16/4/14 17:27
being non-judgemental and supportive, she comes out with the real problem.) Formatted ... [55]
LM: I see. No wonder you were uncertain (no judgement). Where shall we go from here? Admin 16/4/14 17:28
(Gives her back the responsibility for her actions.) Formatted ... [56]
E: Well, I have seen that there is appraisal training I could enrol on. Could you set me up with a Admin 16/4/14 17:27
mentor who could give me some guidance over the next couple of weeks? Formatted ... [57]
LM: Yes, of course. When will you have completed your training? (Obtains commitment.) Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Formatted ... [58]
By allowing the employee time to reflect, this line manager was able to get to the heart of the Admin 16/4/14 17:27
problem. Formatted ... [59]
Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Giving Effective Feedback Formatted ... [60]
Admin 16/4/14 17:27
Effective feedback is a very empowering technique. If given without thought, however it can Formatted ... [61]
also be very damaging. As a manager or leader, you will have had plenty of practice in giving Admin 16/4/14 17:27
feedback. In a coaching session, feedback should be sensitive, appropriate, factual and Formatted ... [62]
specific. Admin 16/4/14 17:28
Deleted: IVING
For example: Admin 16/4/14 17:29
Deleted: FFECTIVE
Manager/Coach: “Sam, I noticed that you were great at the last meeting, your comments were Admin 16/4/14 17:29
well received.” Deleted: EEDBACK
Admin 16/4/14 17:29
This is an unhelpful piece of feedback because it reveals nothing about the coachee’s skills or Formatted ... [63]

knowledge. Admin 16/4/14 17:29

Deleted: coach
It is vague, and the coachee has nothing to build on. Admin 16/4/14 17:29
Formatted ... [64]
Manager/coach: “Sam, you really spoke with authority and gave a convincing argument at the
meeting. The comments you made on the safety issues were very relevant. In my view that’s a Admin 16/4/14 17:29
Formatted: Font:Bold
significant improvement.”

How much more empowering the second feedback would have been. The coachee would have
taken away the facts that: Admin 16/4/14 17:29
Deleted: . ... [65]

Admin 16/4/14 17:30

• They can speak with authority.
Formatted: Font:Arial Narrow
• They can be convincing and relevant.
Admin 16/4/14 17:30
• They showed their knowledge. Formatted: Normal, No bullets or
• Their coach feels they have improved. numbering
Admin 16/4/14 17:30
The comments made in the second feedback were helpful and relevant. The coach’s Formatted: Font:Arial Narrow
observations also served to empower the coachee further.

Some techniques for giving effective feedback include the following:

• Repeating key words and phrases used by your coachee (with sensitivity).
• Reflecting your coachee’s feelings, thus allowing them to feel understood (empathy not
sympathy).
• Reflecting your coachee’s thinking to help them to clarify their thoughts.
• Reflecting your coachee’s behaviour to check if they think this is appropriate and, if so,
to support and encourage them.
• Reflecting what your coachee is doing so they can see if this is useful/necessary.
Paraphrasing your coachee’s current thoughts, feelings and behaviour to support
progress.
• Summarising your coachee’s views so they can see things objectively.
• Summarising your coachee’s feelings and/or actions to gain clarity.
• Checking the consequences of your coachee’s thoughts/feelings/actions.
• Checking your coachee’s own understanding of their thoughts/feelings/actions.
• Being open and honest about what you (as a coach) feel is happening in the
relationship.

Areas to avoid when giving feedback include the following:

• Ignoring key words and phrases and substituting your own words.
• Telling your coachee what/how they should feel or think.
• Telling your coachee what they should do, as this may not be appropriate for them in
their situation.
• Telling your coachee how to behave – and/or not acknowledging their behaviour.
Subtly emphasising your priorities rather than focusing on your coachee’s priorities.
• Creating an imbalance between the company’s goals and those of your coachee.
• Replacing their views with your views.
• Not expressing and not being honest about how you feel about your coachee/their
situation/your understanding of your coachee
• Not checking your coachee’s understanding of the consequences of their actions.
• Not checking your coachee’s understanding of their thoughts/actions/feelings.
• Not using your integrity; abusing your power as a coach.
Communicating Non-Verbally
Admin 16/4/14 17:31
Asking effective and appropriate questions, reflecting your coachee’s words and ideas, and Deleted: COMMUNICATING

summarising and clarifying are all part of professional communication, but what about the non- Admin 16/4/14 17:31
Deleted: NON-VERBALLY
verbal clues that coaches should be aware of to inform their practice?

We all have a body language that is unique to each of us, and there are vital clues to a
coachee’s feelings in their body language you will observe during coaching sessions.

For example:

• A movement of their body while sitting in a chair.

• A head bent forward, with eyes down.
• Eyes up and to the right or left.
Admin 16/4/14 17:31
• A deep sigh or cough.
Deleted: /

While you should not read too much into body language (someone may just be uncomfortable
or be thinking), it is useful to develop an awareness of the way people react and to trust your
gut feelings.

Often a coachee will be smiling, apparently quite happy with a question. However, you can pick
up discomfort or unease in a quick change of position in their chair or a downward glance.
Deep sighs can be a sign that people are struggling with a problem, or feeling fed up or tired. It
can be very liberating to your coachee when you pay attention to a deep sigh before a remark
or response. Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Formatted: Font:Bold
For example: Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Deleted: )
• Coach: "So that’s your final decision, Mike?" Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Formatted: Font:Bold
• Coachee: "Yes. [sighs] I suppose so."
Admin 16/4/14 17:32
• Coach: "Oh, tell me more about. [Sighs as the coachee did.]
Deleted: (
• Coachee: "Yes, it all feels a bit heavy and difficult. (He looks down and to his left.)
Admin 16/4/14 17:32
• Coach: (Looks down and to the left.) What’s heavy and difficult down there?
Deleted: Sighs
Admin 16/4/14 17:32
In this way the coach enters the coachee’s worldview and helps them to understand what they Formatted: Font:Bold
are feeling and experiencing. This needs practice and sensitivity, so new coaches be wary! Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Deleted: (
Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Exercise Deleted: .)
Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Before a coaching session, give yourself at least 10 minutes to prepare. During this time, allow Formatted: Font:Bold
any irritations or negative thoughts to drift away. Think of a place where you always feel Admin 16/4/14 17:33
peaceful. Allow your tensions to be released, breathe deeply and focus on the individual you Deleted: Umm
are about to coach and their needs: Admin 16/4/14 17:33
Deleted: y
• Remove judgements or assumptions you may be making about the individual. Admin 16/4/14 17:32
• Believe that your coachee has the answers to their own issues and can grow and Deleted:
learn. Admin 16/4/14 17:32
Formatted: Font:Bold
• Think about the potential this individual has and how you can create a positive
experience for them.
Module 6 – Coaching Models
You may be coming to coaching from a specialist area, such as Finance, Engineering or IT,
where your skills and knowledge have been valued. You may not have had the opportunity to Admin 16/4/14 17:35
develop your people skills, however, and when faced with coaching members of your team, Deleted: finance

you may feel this is a very daunting challenge. Admin 16/4/14 17:35
Deleted: engineering
Admin 16/4/14 17:35
This is where a coaching model may be helpful. A model is a predetermined method or
Deleted: ,
procedure you can follow when coaching.

While there are a variety of coaching models you can employ, not all coaching sessions will
need a model. They can, however, be a useful focus for a session when a clear goal has been
identified. Many coaches do not use models at all and, after coaching for several years, you will
develop an instinct for what is needed. However, some coaches do prefer to work with a
model, so it is up to you to be adaptable in your approach. Coaching models are only useful if
they serve a real purpose.

People often come to a session in a reflective state of mind – they may want to explore certain
strategies or rethink a project. Your role as their coach would be to act as a sounding board,
showing curiosity and expanding their thinking. In such cases a model may not be appropriate.
Admin 16/4/14 17:36
The GROW Model Deleted: ... [66]
Admin 16/4/14 17:35
The most well-known coaching model is the GROW model. This is a management tool for Deleted: GROW
problem-solving and development, originally created by Graham Alexander and further Admin 16/4/14 17:35
developed by Sir John Whitmore. The idea behind this model is that you support people during Deleted: MODEL
their progress from identifying their goals to taking clear action. Admin 16/4/14 17:37
Deleted: .

GROW is an acronym for Goals (the exploration of), Reality (the current situation), Options (the Admin 16/4/14 17:37
Deleted: It was ori
opportunities available), and What (a willingness to take action):
Admin 16/4/14 17:37
Deleted: was
• Goals: Identify the long or short-term objectives.
Admin 16/4/14 17:38
• Reality: Explore the current situation and provide support to find the positive aspects. Formatted: Font:Bold
• Options: Discuss the choices, strategies and possibilities available. Admin 16/4/14 17:38
• What: Establish what will be done and when. Who will do it and by when? Is there the Formatted: Font:Bold
will to do it? Admin 16/4/14 17:38
Formatted: Font:Bold
In coaching, this model is best used in a context of awareness and responsibility, with the aim Admin 16/4/14 17:38
of increasing these two key qualities, otherwise it is no more than a mechanical problem- Formatted: Font:Bold
solving tool and will not achieve optimum performance results. Admin 16/4/14 17:38
Deleted: identify
When taking your coachee through the above steps, it may become apparent that they have no Admin 16/4/14 17:38
specific goal, in which case ‘reality’ and ‘options’ may be better places to start. The coach Deleted: explore
prepares the coachee by introducing the model and by showing them the process. The coach Admin 16/4/14 17:38
then asks open questions (see below) and uses other coaching methods discussed in this book Deleted: discuss
to support the coachee to work through each phase. While obtaining commitment may not Admin 16/4/14 17:38
always be appropriate, it is very useful to check how willing your coachee is to move forward Deleted: establish
and to take responsibility for their choices.
Many coachees are also pleased to have some accountability for their actions. (We all need a
nudge now and then!) A sheet of paper outlining the model can then be given to your coachee,
or you can just talk your coachee through the model as a guide.

Admin 16/4/14 17:39

Asking Open Questions Deleted: ASKING OPEN QUESTIONS

Open questions are useful for both coaching and mentoring.

Admin 16/4/14 17:39
Deleted: Kipling wrote (Just So Stories,1902)
The following are a few open questions for you to add to, amend or change to suit your
purpose:

• What would you like to use this session for?

• If you had an outcome for this session, what would that be?
• Anything else?/What else? (Useful questions to repeat several times.)
Admin 16/4/14 17:39
• What could be done to move this forward?
Deleted: what
• What’s stopping you?
Admin 16/4/14 17:39
• How far is that true?/Is that a belief?
Deleted:
• If you were to do x, what would the consequences be? (Possibly the opposite of what
Admin 16/4/14 17:39
they said.)
Deleted: is
• What would that result in?
• How do you see your role in this?
• What needs to happen now?
• What one action would make a difference?
• What I heard you say was . . . is this correct?
• So what you mean is . . . is that correct?
• What resources/skills/people do you need?
• How can they/I support you?
• What have you already got in place?
• How can you find alternative ways to explore/use this information?
• What assumptions could you be making?
• In what way are these assumptions valid, relevant, true?
• What are the implications of this?
• Have you considered x/y?
• What needs to happen now?
• Would you agree that we’ve covered x/y?
• Are you happy to take this forward?
• What actions can you now commit to?
• Who else will you need to involve?
• When will you report back to me on this?
• How will you measure your success/results?
• On a scale of 1–10, how do you feel this session has worked for you?
• What would you like to focus on in the next session?
The Wheel Admin 16/4/14 17:40
Deleted: THE WHEEL
Another useful tool is the wheel. This can be adapted to suit almost any situation and can be
developed by both the coach and coachee.

The wheel is a great way to allow your coachees to ‘get out of their heads’ and to see their
thoughts on paper. Many people find having a visual tool helpful and enlightening. Using
coloured paper, pens and postcards can also stimulate conversations and can aid the coaching
process when people are stuck.

Using the job performance wheel (see diagram below), ask your coachee to rate themselves
from 1 to 10, where the outside of the wheel is a positive 10 and the centre is 0. They should Admin 16/4/14 17:41
Formatted: Font:Bold
mark their score with a dot on the spoke of the wheel and then join up the dots to get a mis-
shapened circle. Admin 16/4/14 17:41
Deleted: Figure 6

Diagram: A Job Performance Wheel

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Deleted: Diagram
You should encourage your coachee to focus on any areas they like as most will have an
impact on the other areas of the wheel. Support them to see their strengths and to reflect on Admin 16/4/14 17:41
Deleted: job
how to develop areas where they scored poorly. Often coachees will score themselves low but
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have no evidence to support this low score when questioned by their coach. The leadership
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wheel (see second diagram below) is used in exactly the same way:
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Diagram: A Leader’s Wheel

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The Johari Window

The Johari Window was named after Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham and is a useful model to
consider in coaching and mentoring as it shows human interaction. The Johari Window four- Admin 16/4/14 17:42
quadrant model divides personal awareness into four distinct areas (see diagram below, in Deleted: window

which an individual is represented by their own window): Admin 16/4/14 17:42

Deleted: (Luft, 1969).
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Deleted: window

Diagram: The Johari Window

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In relation to coaching, the first ‘open’ quadrant shows things the coachee knows about Deleted: window

themselves (who they are, what they do, where they live, and so on). It can also include Admin 16/4/14 17:43
Deleted: .
feelings and values. On first meeting, this window is small but enlarges as the individual gets to
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know the coach and shares information.
Deleted: for example,

The second ‘blind’ quadrant shows things a person meeting the coachee knows about them but
that the coachee is unaware of (for example, that they are using an incorrect term or word in
their conversation, or that they have their jacket buttoned incorrectly).

The third ‘hidden’ quadrant shows things the coachee knows about themselves (for example,
that they grew up in Ghana or that their favourite colour is green). When you first meet a
coachee, there is a great deal of information you do not know but, as you get to know each
other and build trust, the hidden window becomes smaller and the open window larger, as
information is shared.

The fourth ‘unknown’ quadrant shows things the coachee does not know about themselves and
neither does the coach they are working with. In the course of the coaching conversation they
may discuss or explore something that reveals new information to both of them. This may
trigger personal awareness and growth.

We should thus aim to enlarge the open quadrant and reduce the others.
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Module 7 – Setting Up Sessions
Preparing Your Coachees Admin 16/4/14 17:43
Deleted: PREPARING YOUR COACHEES
Coaching only works well when people are ready for it.

People who volunteer for coaching should understand what is involved and be fully prepared.
We have seen how important agreements and contracts are in this process. It is the content
and clarity in these documents that will enable your coachees to trust the process.

Ideally they should have been part of the discussion on what, if anything, is reported back from
the coaching sessions.

Introductory Coaching Session

Make sure you are not sitting in your usual position (particularly not behind your own desk as Admin 16/4/14 17:44
this will send out the wrong message). Once you and your coachee are both comfortable, you Deleted: coaching

can share with them the techniques you use to relax before a session. If they arrived rushed Admin 16/4/14 17:44
Deleted: session
and seemingly stressed out, introduce some ways to create a relaxed atmosphere (breathing,
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stretching, getting a drink, and so on).
Deleted: in particular

You can always walk outside and do the session there. Explain that this process is to help your
coachee feel heard and supported and that, as far as possible, you will put aside your role as
their line manager/boss during the sessions. Ask them questions to find out if they are clear
about the process, and find out if they have had any experience of coaching (or mentoring) in
the past.

Help them to understand that their own reflective time and pauses are important to their
growth. When you are coaching internally, be aware of positions of power: coaching should be
a partnership of equals. Power can become an issue when a senior member of staff is
coaching a subordinate. (This can also happen in reverse when a junior member of staff is
coaching someone in a senior position.)

You may therefore need to encourage a junior member of staff to disregard any previous
knowledge or experiences they may have had of you as a senior member of staff before you
begin to coach them. This will ensure the sessions are professional and effective.

In the introductory session, therefore, you should:

• Make sure your coachee is fully aware of the purpose of coaching.
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• Explain your own role as a coach and how this will differ from your usual role; Clarify
Deleted: ;
your coachee’s role, and outline what is expected of them.
• Point out that there will be no advice or suggestions and that the coaching will focus on
your coachee and their potential strengths.
• Clarify how coaching can enhance those strengths and focus on further development.
• As far as possible, gain commitment and ownership of the process.
• Ensure the coaching agreements have been read and signed.
• Create rapport by being genuinely interested in your coachee.
• Remind them that the responsibility for any outcome lies with them, while being
supported by you and the organisation.
Obtaining Commitment Admin 16/4/14 17:44
Deleted: commitment
If someone really is going to do what they say and move forward with actions and changes,
they will require the necessary skills and ability. If you are coaching someone in a senior
position, however, it may not be necessary to elicit their exact actions with a timescale. Admin 16/4/14 17:47
Deleted:

Such a person should be perfectly capable of carrying out the actions they have identified.
Sometimes, however, it will be necessary to obtain the times and deadlines for actions so that
your coachee feels a sense of responsibility. Again, your own sensitivity and your knowledge of
the person will inform your decision about how much probing you should do to gain
commitment from them.

You can always check by saying: "As I understand it, you will be doing x and adapting y by the
end of the week. Is that correct?" Admin 16/4/14 17:47
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Or: "OK, we are at the end of the session, so would you like to summarise the actions you will
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take/changes you are aiming for?"
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Deleted: ‘
The latter places the ownership firmly on the coachee’s shoulders and enables them to repeat
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what they have committed to.
Deleted: ’

Although you will not know whether they have stuck to their agreed actions, if you are an
internal coach your coachee will know your expectations. While looking over their shoulder
would be totally unprofessional behaviour there will be challenges when you are coaching as a Admin 16/4/14 17:48
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line manager. In this situation you should be aware of the blurring of the edges between your
role as coach and that of Line Manager. Admin 16/4/14 17:48
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While this may not always work effectively (you are human, after all), with practice it will
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become easier.
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Confronting Poor Behaviour Admin 16/4/14 17:49

Deleted: !
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Sometimes you will need to confront poor behaviour. For example, your coachee may:
Deleted: CONFRONTING POOR BEHAVIOUR

• Be late for coaching sessions.;

• Be inappropriately aggressive.
• Lack respect for you.
• Step over boundaries.
• Not respect the terms of the contract.
• Be unethical, racist, or homophobic.
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You will no doubt have come across such behaviour before as a leader in your workplace. In
coaching, poor behaviour does not occur frequently, but it should be addressed immediately if
it does:

• If possible, prepare well in advance.

• Write down the key facts and evidence before you confront your coachee.
• Get right to the point.
• Say what you have to say succinctly.
 • Invite your coachee to join you in an adult discussion.

Open the conversation tactfully, bearing in mind the following points:

• Be brief and clear about your position and your feelings.

• Make sure your coachee understands and is clear about your thoughts.
• Find out in advance if others share your views.
• Plan, prepare and practice the start of your conversation beforehand.
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• Be clear about how you hope to resolve the issue and your ideal outcome.
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• Mention specific behaviours or situations you found unacceptable and give examples.
• Tell your coachee how you felt at the time.
• Make it clear what is needed to resolve the situation. Admin 16/4/14 17:50
• Allow your coachee to give their side of the story and listen without interrupting. Deleted: /
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Be assertive, but not aggressive, by standing your ground. At the same time, use positive Deleted: :

language. This will temper any difficult feedback: Admin 16/4/14 17:50
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• Reflect or state specifically something the coachee has done well or effectively.
Deleted: situation’
• State the facts or unacceptable behaviour as you see them, as briefly as possible.
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• Invite a comment from your coachee Deleted: ‘
Admin 16/4/14 17:50
It is always more effective to use ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ when dealing with tricky situations; ‘you’ Deleted: unacceptable’
can seem accusing. Compare the following examples: Admin 16/4/14 17:50
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• "I am not prepared to accept this situation" versus "You make this situation Admin 16/4/14 17:50
unacceptable." Deleted: ‘
• "I am very concerned about the way this has been portrayed" versus "You have Admin 16/4/14 17:50
portrayed this badly and have made me very concerned." Deleted: portrayed’
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Always state your own feelings and thoughts about the situation using ‘I’ messages where Deleted: ‘
possible. For example: Admin 16/4/14 17:50
Deleted: ’
• "This is the situation as I see/understand it" versus "You obviously don’t Admin 16/4/14 17:51
see/understand what I mean." Deleted: ‘
• "I don’t share the same opinion and feel I am not being respected" versus "Yes, that’ s Admin 16/4/14 17:51
your opinion but you are not respecting me." Deleted: it’
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Using ‘I’ in these situations will enable your coachee to find a solution. If people feel accused Deleted: ‘
they will be less likely to resolve the issue or to reach an agreement Admin 16/4/14 17:51
Deleted: mean’.
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Tone of Voice and Inflection Deleted: ‘
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It is worth mentioning here that voice is a key element in successful coaching. The way your Deleted: respected’
voice is heard when you ask a question, reflect thoughts and even give encouragement can Admin 16/4/14 17:51
vary greatly. If you are in any way insincere or less than genuine, this will show in your voice. Deleted: ‘
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You will no doubt remember many times when someone paid you a compliment and you knew Deleted: ’
full well that they were not sincere. Similarly, how many speeches have you listened to when Admin 16/4/14 17:51
Deleted: TONE OF VOICE AND INFLECTION
you knew it was all ‘hot air’? How did you know? By the tone and inflection of the speaker’s
voice, coupled with their body language.

Practice keeping your voice neutral without any edge to it or trace of judgement: "So you feel
that changing things around in the department would be beneficial, do you?" Admin 16/4/14 17:51
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This question asked in a neutral tone with no stress on any particular words would be merely Admin 16/4/14 17:51
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curious and interested. Asked in a sharper tone, perhaps with the stress on the first ‘you’, as if
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you feel this idea was less than helpful, would cause your coachee to clam up and feel judged.
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If you really believe in your coachee’s ability, if you honestly see their potential and if you
genuinely want their success, your voice will not betray you.
Bonus Module – Respecting Differences
Respecting others’ worldviews and motivating your coaches

Being Respectful Admin 16/4/14 17:52

Deleted: BEING RESPECTFUL
You and your coachee’s beliefs, attitudes, morals, and values can affect the coaching process.

Beliefs
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Formatted: Font:Bold
A belief is something you accept as true. This may be an opinion you have gained from your
own experience.

For example:
• I believe that not all people are suited to a leadership role.
• Everyone should take action on global warming, no matter how small their contribution.
• I believe that cricket is the most complicated game ever invented.

Attitudes

An attitude is a way of thinking or behaving. This is very often learnt behaviour or a way of
thinking gained from experience.

For example:
• Having a positive attitude is more helpful in life than being negative.
• I think it is important to look at all sides of the problem carefully before making a
decision.
• Live for today!
• They only learn if I tell them again and again.

Morals

Morals are an individual’s sense of right and wrong. Some people are outraged when animals
are killed for research; others feel that it is right to continue to discover valuable cures.

This is very often a gut feeling that allows individuals to gauge when something is not ‘right’ for
them. In coaching it is helpful to be aware that your coachees will not all have the same morals.
As a coach or mentor, blocks often arise during a session if your coachee is not morally
aligned.

If your coachee holds integrity as a high value and is required to be less than honest as part of
their role, they will quickly become dissatisfied. If they are consistently told that their high moral
stance is holding them back, they will become frustrated. Instead of ‘telling’ and making
assumptions about who is right and wrong, therefore, try to understand how a situation has
arisen. Ask open questions to discover what your coachee thinks they should do to get the
result they are looking for.

Values
Most businesses have a values statement. Some of the standard words that spring to mind are
‘honesty’, ‘integrity’, ‘respect’, ‘inclusivity’, ‘high standards of customer care’, ‘environmentally
friendly’, ‘flexible’, and so on. Values guide our actions – they form our attitudes and influence
our thoughts and expressions. Admin 16/4/14 17:54
Deleted: s. They

Personal values can be fun, creativity, challenge, knowledge, achievement, peace, security,
happiness, contribution, and so on. For example, someone who values making a contribution
may always stop to give small change to a homeless person in the street, whereas his partner
may find this a waste of time and feel that saving the money towards a meal out is far more
important.

Accepting Differences Admin 16/4/14 17:54

Even if we are not conscious of it, we are required to respond to situations and experiences Deleted: ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
every day based on our attitudes, morals, beliefs and values. If you are aware of how you have
formed your own world view, you will more easily accept the differences in those you are
supporting through coaching and mentoring.

It is important, therefore, to put aside (not abandon!) your own view of the world and to be
open-minded when coachees come to sessions with beliefs, values and attitudes different from
your own. Without this self-awareness, your sessions will not achieve the desired outcome.

Coaching anyone, no matter what their worldview, requires empathy. Empathy is seeing a
situation though another person’s eyes. It means standing in their shoes or sitting in their chair
and feeling and thinking as they do.

Exercise

Christian was one of the directors at a large watchmakers in Zurich. He was very creative and
had designed a revolutionary new watch aimed at the female market. He was ready to launch it Admin 16/4/14 17:55
Deleted: of
and had taken the designs to a board meeting attended by four of the decision-makers. The
following are the various reactions he received:

1. Yes, the components are very easily manufactured and, in my opinion, it can be put into
production right away, making it very cost-effective.
2. This sits well on the wrist and is a beautiful addition to our range. It complements the men’s
watch we launched last year. I feel it is stunning piece that will enhance our reputation.
3. Our customers will be delighted to know that we have come up with yet another great
design. I can’t wait to hear the reaction.
4. Yes, I need to view the finished product and to be able to see what possible design
modifications need to be made.

If you were coaching each of these individuals you would have greater success by approaching
the sessions according to each one’s beliefs, attitudes and values:

• Which of the statements above do you identify with?

• What does this tell you about your own world view?
• What beliefs, attitudes and values are they expressing?
• Are their attitudes wrong or just different?
 Admin 16/4/14 17:53
Exercise – Motivating Your Coachees Deleted:

Each one of us is motivated by different things and, as a leader and coach, it is important to
find out what motivates your coachees. It is also important to understand that what motivates
someone may change, according to their circumstances.

The most obvious way to find out what motivates your coachee is to ask them. Be curious
about them, find out what they enjoy about their job, and if they have ideas or suggestions –
you may be pleasantly surprised. If they are struggling, remain supportive and view them with a
positive frame of mind. Ask them what it is that is bothering them and then listen carefully in
order to understand.

Take off your leader’s hat, be a non-judgemental observer, and see if you really can believe
they have the answers, because, very often, they have!
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Think of a challenging relationship you have with one of your coachees and then ask
yourself the following questions: Admin 16/4/14 17:57
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• How do I feel in their company?
Formatted: Font:Bold
• On a scale of one to ten, how much do I respect them?
• How far am I able to put any feelings or assumptions aside during sessions?
• If I viewed them in a more positive light, what would I be thinking?
• What do I need to do to remain objective?
• How can I focus on their strengths?

If you want to build a relationship of trust and openness with your coachee, try the following:

• Share a little of your own vulnerability with them.

• Do not be afraid to share how you are feeling.
• Notice what is going on in your mind during the session.
• Reveal these thoughts if appropriate.
• Ensure confidentiality at all times (unless otherwise agreed).
• Keep to any commitments you make to your coachee.
• Create a positive image of your coachee and focus on this during the sessions.
 Admin 16/4/14 17:56
Sample Forms and Competences Deleted: forms
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Deleted: competences
The  Coaching  Agreement  

Sample 1
The purpose of a coaching agreement

This coaching agreement aims to set out clear definitions and expectations from both the
coach and coachee prior to any coaching sessions taking place so that both parties are aware
of their individual responsibilities which foster an effective coaching relationship. This coaching
agreement is intended as a guide and may, if necessary, be renegotiated by the coach during
the course of the coaching relationship if in the best interests of the coachee.

Coaching works well when you:

■ Are open and willing to consider change where this is necessary to aid development.
■ Are open to new ways of learning and working which might challenge your thoughts and
ideas.
■ Are honest with your coach and yourself, particularly if you do not feel that something is
working for you.
■ Are ready to commit to your development by the giving and receiving of honest feedback of
the investment being made in your development.
■ Accept that commitment must first come from you before you can reap the benefits.

As your coach, I will endeavour to:

■ Be focused on you and your best interests, which include your goals and your outcomes.
■ Support and encourage you while you develop to your full potential.
■ Be open, objective and non-judgemental, enabling you to set and work towards your own
goals and achievements.
■ Ask you questions that might challenge your ideas and thoughts as you progress and
develop.
■ Arrange a comfortable, private venue for our face-to-face discussions.

Confidentiality  
As a coach, I will observe confidentiality at all times, including the content and nature of our
discussions, as this builds mutual trust and rapport.

This rule of confidentiality, however, may be compromised if there is risk or potential risk, as
follows:

■ Where there is unacceptable risk to people and/or services.

■ Where there is a breach, or potential breach, of law or contract.
■ Where the organisation’s policies and procedures are put at risk or potential risk.
■ Where the coach and coachee agree that the issues raised cannot be appropriately
managed or dealt with through a coaching relationship.
■ If the coach feels that the coachee’s progress needs to be discussed with their line
manager, which would be agreed prior to any sessions with the coachee.
As a coachee, however, you may decide that you wish to share your experiences with others, if
you feel this is appropriate. It is important to remember, however, that your experiences are
personal to you, and you should consider the impact your values and beliefs may have on
others by the sharing of such information.

Feedback  
Every couple of coaching sessions you will be provided with a feedback sheet which I will ask
you to complete, to ensure that the coaching sessions continue to meet your needs. This is
your opportunity to be honest about how you feel the sessions are assisting you to reach your
goals and outcomes.

Records  
I confirm that all records and feedback sheets will be kept confidential and secure during the
course of the coaching sessions and that, at the end of the coaching relationship, these
records will be destroyed confidentially.

Cancellation  
In the event you wish to change the coaching session, for whatever reason, I request at least
24 hours’ notice (except in an emergency) and, unless you have notified me otherwise, I will
assume you will be attending the session.

This coaching agreement is not an open-ended contract and I propose that the number of
sessions offered will initially be six, of 90 minutes each, although this will be assessed and
renegotiated, as appropriate, throughout the coaching relationship and depending on your
goals and outcomes. A separate one-hourly session will be held to get to know you and to
discuss this coaching agreement.

You may, if you wish, end the coaching sessions at any time, giving me one week’s notice.

Acceptance  
As an indication of your acceptance of this coaching agreement and the terms mentioned
within it, please sign and date below where appropriate and return this agreement to me. Admin 16/4/14 17:58
Deleted:

Coach:

Date:

Coachee:

Date:
 Admin 16/4/14 17:58
Sample Prep Form Deleted: SAMPLE PREP FORM
 
Ideally, this form should be faxed, emailed or posted at least 48 hours before our agreed
meeting/call each week. This will enable us to focus on the most important areas for you in any
given week and will allow you to bring to the meeting/call those matters you feel are the most
pressing.

Name:

Date:

Meeting/call time:

Call me on (insert tel. no.) for confirmation if required.

What I/we have achieved since our last meeting/call:

Commitments I/we made at the last meeting/call and actions taken:

What I/we would like to focus on today is: